#(but i am sad)

[femmeidiot]

killing myself over a limited release vinyl selling out anon u get ur wish queen

[lightthewaybackhome]

Stargate-Atlantis S5: E15 Remnants

You have to understand that Inquisition had a much bigger impact on Sheppard than he admitted. His people, Atlantis, were on trial because of the choices he made. I think it brought to the surface a lot of the same feelings seen in Doppelganger. Sheppard struggles with feeling like he's the biggest threat to his people.

Rodney connects aloneness with Sheppard. Sad sigh.

Woolsey is lonely, Sheppard is alone, and Rodney is cut off from the praise of his peers by the confidentiality of his work. Woolsey is isolated in his leadership, Sheppard is isolated in his warriorness, and Rodney is isolated in his genius. They're each overcome by their own strengths and weaknesses. Woolesy is easily overcome by a friendly, kind woman because he wants a friend. Rodney is overcome by praise because he wants to be acknowledged. Sheppard is overcome by isolation and torture because he believes he's the source of danger for Atlantis. This episode is a weird reflection of Home in season one. Sheppard figured that out first because things were too good. He doesn't figure things out here because he believes they should be this bad.

Sheppard tells Kolya to go to hell, so Kolya takes him there. It's so hard bouncing between the three because Sheppard is enduring so much more than Woolsey and McKay. Woolsey and McKay 'demons' help them. Just. It just hurts how broken Sheppard is.

Kolya: You can tolerate more than any man I've ever known. Why is that?

Sheppard covers his fear with a snarky remark.

Kolya: You're here in the Pegasus Galaxy to protect your people, and half the time, you can't even do that. That's what drives you, your past failures.

Kolya tells Sheppard he can't protect his people, they're as good as dead. It doesn't matter if he holds out.

Kolya's monolog is basically our insight into Sheppard's own mind. He thinks nothing he's done, that there's nothing he can do to keep his people safe. That the bad guys will always find a way to hurt them, and they'll use him to do it.

When Radek compliments Rodney, I just started crying because Rodney's all beaming while Sheppard is tortured. And it just makes you realize people can be hurting, and even their closest friends don't know it.

My heart when Kolya chops off Sheppard's hand.

😭😭😭

What is Sheppard running away from? His empty life on earth?

Kolya accused Sheppard of being easy to break, but he didn't break. They had to cut his freaking hand off. This is just another echo in Sheppard's own mind that he's not being strong enough for his people. All this was to find out what kind of people they are and see if they can be trusted. They need to keep Sheppard busy while they worked, and this horror is what Sheppard subconsciously chose.

Kolya: You torture yourself every day, John. But, in this case, it was your mind manifesting your deepest fears. You are the architect of your own self-deception.

😭😭😭The aliens apologize for what happened to Sheppard earning one of his "gee thanks" faces.

I love how, just like Doppelganger, this ends with Sheppard surrounded by friends. In light of this episode, the last really painful Sheppard episode is Vegas, the solitary man. Before Atlantis, Sheppard was very alone. I think he fears being alone again, but he's not. Rodney knows him so well, even down to the gum he likes. Then you have the final episode where Sheppard does literally save all of his remaining people with their help, as always. I know it's subtle, but ending with Sheppard and Company saving earth in a final huge battle is healing Sheppard. Yes, I wish they could have done more. A whole season of healing is what this character needed, but I'll take what I can get.

This may also be why I feel the need to rewatch this whole stupid show as soon as I finish it. I want to see Sheppard healed. But you start it over, and he gets broken all over. Really, he comes to Atlantis broken. Those soul-fractures get healed, and he gets broken in whole new ways. Why am I addicted to breaking characters???

[undercoverpena]

someone send me frankie, I’m having the worst forking day 😭

—so bad in fact, I sat and silently cried at my desk.

[ehghtyseven]

hörny 😔

[wellofdean]

Fellas, that feeling when someone whose blog you really liked has blocked you, and you have no idea what you did to deserve it...

[duchessofvastergotland]

16th December 2022 // The Crown Princess couple received this year's Christmas trees at the Royal Palace. This year's fir trees were provided by the Forestry University's student union in Umeå. Since the 1960s, students from the Swedish University of Agriculture (SLU) have been handing over a number of Christmas trees to the Royal Palace, with different members of the family taking on responsibility for receiving the trees each year

[moltengoldveins]

so for various hair-dying reasons, I have an ace bandage wrapped around a plastic bag wrapped around my head, and I am shockingly, and I mean Shockingly comfortable right now. The pressure on my skull is basically removing the weird “I’m constantly buzzing in my skin ‘cause autism” sensation and I’m enamored. I must find a way to wear this forever, but there is an unfortunate problem: I am rather Pale. Pasty. A caulk asian, if you will. The darkest thing about me is my sense of humor. I am not edumacated in the art of turbans or those really cool headwrap knot things I’ve seen a lot of lovely black women wearing, I’ve never seen any other pieces of clothing that even remotely resemble/ could easily conceal an ace bandage about the head, and I don’t think it’d be chill in the environment I’m in (Tennessee) to try to learn more than the theoretical terminology and/or history, which are both fascinating! But sadly will do nothing to help the sensory stuff. so now I’m sad, still autistic, cursed with forbidden knowledge, and completely headwrappless. And I haven’t the slightest idea what to do about it.

[s-kully]

ended up taking a leap of faith on a random book, the mc ends up pregnant for the first time and alone in the woods. I am not having a particularly good time.

[seahorsepencils]

one of my favorite possum accounts deactivated their account and this feels like eve-granger leaving all over again. so many flawless images in my likes that i never had the chance to reblog. so many possums unpossumed.

g r i e f

😭

[ms-anthrope-cellaneous]

i want to cry.

because i have to work with imbeciles.

because i have no friends.

because i am tired.

because i am stressed.

because i am sad.

because i want things to be over, but i do not want to do them.

but i know crying will not fix anything.

it will only make my nose run.

and my face and hair wet.

and my family concerned.

so i will not cry.

i will not cry.

[aguantenlaspitusas]

I literally fell asleep

Woke up to see Logan p11

Went "would be so cool if he scored a point"

And then

+5 sec penalty

[infernalrampage]

Tre got up from his bed, fingers covered in charcoal. He set his sketch book down. Gretz lifted his head and the German Shepard boofed softly as Tre walked to door of his dorm room. "Stay." He said to his dog as he opened the door.

"Bev..." He said softly. "Hey." He stepped aside to let her in. "Are you alright? It's like 2 in the morning." The dog now moved from the bed and walked over to the girl. Being a service dog he could sense when someone needed him.

Tre grabbed a blanket from his bed and wrapped it around her. "Hey...what's up?"

beverly is wrapped up in her hoodie hiding from the cold outside and she takes a deep breath before moving into @puckcdup 's door room stopping slightly to pet his dog and then she sits on the edge of his bed. she was not having a good night a red mark adorned across her face that she hopes has faded by now but she could still feel the throbbing. how stupid she was right now her green eyes looking at tre and his softness was always something she did not deserve.

one thing she could say is she was a stupid girl. her hoodie pulled over her slightly shaking frame and she wants a cigarette her fingers twitching and she feels the softness of a blanket being put around her shoulders cuddling into the warmth and she closes her eyes. " i just got back from my date.. " and he smacked me across the face says he did not want me smoking..

[ecstaticwaters]

I AM SAD

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

just an anhedonia sort of day huh

[morbidgh0st]

i love how i added a sentence to my paper that dude like last week and was like "well thats progress goodbye <3"

[bonemachiine]

Drugs have literally always been a huge part of Noah's life. His parents put getting high above everything else, even him. They couldn't keep a steady job, couldn't pay the bills, couldn't even put food on the table. Noah was almost always left to fend for himself. Of course as a child he never wanted to end up like them, even the thought would have made him sick to his stomach but then he got older and his mom started to lose it and his dad wasn't doing a damn thing and Noah really wasn't left with much of a choice. He started dealing when he was 13 and started using pretty heavily around the same time. It felt unavoidable, like watching a storm inch its way closer across the horizon and there's nothing you can do but wait for it and even though drugs have ruined so much of his life they've also been the only steady, constant thing he can count on.