#(but yeah damn!!! I was writing some good stuff!!!) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

Note

Wait are writing a fic for your au cause im like down to clown with that?

ehhhhhh not really, unless by some miracle genuine writing motivation/inspiration hits, which is about as rare as a lightning strike these days!

sometimes i jot down scenes or conversations & post unedited snippets, but i haven't written a full fic or oneshot in.... since February! but hey! chances are low but never zero

#HAS IT REALLY BEEN AROUND 7 MONTHS??? DAMN TIME FLIES. IT ROCKETS. IT ZOOMS AT LIGHTSPEED #like there's stuff i Want to write #like the decapitation fic & the laughingstock fic & stuff for aus.....#but geez. man. Fuck....#my writing skills have atrophied and so has my Brain!#though i am going to be proceeding to the final stage of my Big Move next month so....#maybe once all this bullshit is over ill be in a space where i Can write #(and also respond to my friends which is killing me inside but this aint about that)#bc i am down to clown as well! but the clown in me is actually a jester. and that jester is jingling miserably across the floor #rambles from the bog #the tension between me & writing/editing a full fic is thick enough to cut with a knife #but yeah i had it good for a couple years there!#i was writing at Least a fic a month! my ao3 has 53 works of batman fanfiction (in varying degrees of quality) wowee!#*loosely batman. mostly his kids. w/ some yj or supers sprinkled in for Flavor...#but Anyway i would looooove to spice things up #And Post Puppet Fic. maybe some moomin....#or even original works! or flight rising! idk! i wanna expand my inventory!#once again guiltily looking at all of my dc wips. sigh

33 notes · View notes

hecksupremechips · 7 months

Text

The best feeling in the world is when there’s a piece of media you know you love and you’ve hyped it up as your favorite thing for so long but you haven’t revisited it in a while so you start to worry if it’s really as good as you make it out to be and so you go back and revisit it and it’s like. Oh this is even better than I remembered this shit rules

#the klock keeps ticking #i always get this feeling when i play 999 but tonight i got it with the letter #cuz ive uh finally decided to bite the bullet and play the evil meanie route where everyone dies 😟#a route ive put off for so long cuz its just too damn sad to think about akjdksk god it hurts #and ive played like for the most part every route of this game EXCEPT this one but i know the ending is really dark and i need to see it #plus i will at least get my beloved torture scene in so thats nice #i didnt kill off isabella though its a coma route which i hope still allows me to get the ending i want cuz i mean shell still be out of #commission in the final scene so hopefully it works out #but yeah no i started off tonight on the marianne chapter and while i did skip around through it cuz ive played it many times and i just #wanna get to the important stuff already alskj i also just replayed some of the best parts #aka the shit where lorraine appears and the gay shit alksks and god like hnnnghh not only does this chapter still ruin me emotionally #i also just remembered why i love this character so much and remembered just how good the character writing in this game is #and i also played into the rebecca chapter and didnt skip as much cuz i actually am not as familiar with the coma route #cuz it makes me sad and i never revisited it lol and i havent gotten to The Scene that makes me sob yet #its so coming though dont worry but idk i guess its just been cuz ive been thinking about p3 so much lately #and in particular shinji both the death route and coma route but in particular the coma cuz thats what im writing #and damn lol the letter just writes the grief and nuanced relationships and death stuff so much better lol god #like marianne loses her childhood best friend whom she has a gay ass relationship with to suicide and like its just better #she blames herself and still isnt even kinda okay with it after 13 years #like it just fucking ruined her and the only thing keeping her from losing it is her repression and drinking problem and unattached sex #and then with coma route well fucking first off isabellas friends actually like. visit her frequently damn #and they just all have such unique ways of coping like Zach is being optimistic so no one gets too upset #rebecca is sorta in charge of making sure everything goes smoothly she has to contact the family and make big decisions #and shes also just taking the most stress and shes got so many complicated feelings around isabella going on but she genuinely cannot stand #that isabella is hurt shes fucking destroyed she loves isabella and then ashton AAAAA god yeah i also just remembered that hes SUCH a good #character hes like being a genuine asshole right like Rebecca calls to tell him that isabella is comatose now and he literally doesnt let #her say anything he literally says ‘i dont have time for other things rn’ like the wellness of his friend is just ‘other things’#but you just know thats not it not at all hes burying himself in work to the point of destruction so he can figure out who did this and make #everything okay and he refuses to show even an ounce of vulnerability cuz THE SECOND HE DOES IT ALL COMES OUT AND HE CANT GET OUT OF BED #ANYMORE CUZ HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WHEN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE IS DYING

7 notes · View notes

l0rd-0f-c0ws · 20 days

Text

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much #anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events #ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people #or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know #ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD #welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on #surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like #yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part #to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably #not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day #yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name #this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this #and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it #and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly #but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me #or shown me much physical affection #my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on #but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while #ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit #i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart #then getting some footing #then it falling apart again #okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD #hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good #damn i gotta use that more #welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol

2 notes · View notes

dunadaan · 4 months

Text

I’ve been feeling Créa creep up on me as of late and today I went back and reread my little document where I type up random ideas for scenes/fics and I was like. Wow who wrote this. This is really good. Why isn’t there more of this damn. But also wow I really put miss créa through the blender and she is a fine red mist a lot. But that is the life of a ranger…and even when she’s not a ranger anymore I press blend on high and she is sadly used to that

#(I forgot what made me think of it but I had this fantastic idea post war where Créa has tried to keep herself together)#(and it’s one specific incident that really makes her crack- I wrote a really compelling idea of her having PTSD and it unexpectedly)#(manifesting in a place where she didn’t anticipate it. and ofc it’s medieval medicine so they don’t know what PTSD is exactly but they)#(not like we know ptsd anyways. so it’s a really interesting exploration of grief and suppression and dealing with it- or not dealing with)#(it in this case. bc she’s avoided it for years and she’s like. god I fucking miss being a ranger so much. that was ME.)#(now I’m not a ranger anymore and I lost my entire identity)#(she can’t return to Evendim for a long time and desperately misses it. most of her friends are dead)#(or gone up north or treat her differently)#(she feels really isolated and alone even though she’s aware she’s not but it’s a lot to deal with!!! and I didn’t quite have an ending)#(but it was really compelling and I need to return to it one day)#(the other one I wrote ideas for and wrote a small scene was crea’s first experience meeting rangers)#(back when the angle was new. sighs. the potential…crea interacting with and learning ranger culture for the first time)#(after being alienated and kept away not of her own will. and her having a scene with faeron and standing on the bridge with him)#(but also of her thinking of what her life might’ve been like had she not been lied to about her heritage or had it hidden)#(she’s at a huge disadvantage-she barely knows dúnedain/elf history or sindarin etc. she could’ve had a whole different life)#(and AGAIN the theme of GRIEF- grieving smth that was kept from you. a life you’ll never have but could’ve)#(anyways. that probably all could’ve been in a post LOL and not in tags)#(but yeah damn!!! I was writing some good stuff!!!)#(now I wanna replay all the LOTRO areas again..)

4 notes · View notes

therevengeoffrankenstein · 2 months

Text

openly weeping at the idea of someone genuinely hating soul punk.

#like it makes sense obviously that people would. i guess. but i thought most people who didn't like it just didn't like #it because they didn't like patrick all that much or it was too different or they were just upset about fob's hiatus.#like idk i feel like calling patrick's lyricism bad is a little unfair.#like not to compare 2 bad bitches but he's right there. so pete writes comparatively just as cheesy lyrics.#i like that. don't get me wrong. 'cheesy' as a compliment. but like. patrick's lyrics r 2 cheesy 4 u? the fob fan?#like yes he uses a fash buzzphrase in 'dance miserable.' but i am almost certain he didn't think through the implications of it #and 'people never done a good thing' has like. weird liberal ableism in it. but that one was a bonus track and once again reads #very much like something he just. didn't think about very hard. still bad. but it's better than him doing it on purpose.#especially given how much of soul punk actually is actively trying very hard 2 be progressive and the former within the context of the song #reads more as overly cynical than like. actually fash. but he should've phrased it in a non fash-y way. yes.#it reminds me of the 'manifest destiny' line in 'high hopes' by panic actually.#like that's a buzzphrase that they totally didn't think through at all and that's. bad. really bad.#but it's also kinda funny given how liberal democrat these bands and ppl tend to try to come off.#like nobody caught that in 'high hopes?' all those writers in the room and nobody caught that?#was it like a 'maybe someone else will say something' '*crickets*' kinda sitch on that one bc. lol. lmao even.#i hope the white liberal guilt sits with them on that one.#but i digress. soul punk. that's two songs (including one bonus track) with a questionable lyric each.#otherwise both perfectly fine songs.#that being said yeah. sometimes the cynical liberal stuff grates on even me a little at times. like i feel it i really do and i think #patrick makes some important points but it's so bitter. even when he's writing *more about relationships it's just like damn dude.#(*asterisk because everything is political.)#AND I GET WHY. obviously. patrick is just like that a little bit and he was Going Through It. more relevant on truant wave tbh #because i think that mindset works better on soul punk.#i could understand the cynicism maybe tanking somebody's opinion of soul punk but it doesn't really bother me enough to alter my score.#also i understand it's the best song on the album but idk about ppl saying cryptozoology as a single. doesn't totally defeat #the purpose of the song and it would've also been powerful as a single #but it's just such a beautiful Fuck You to have it as a hidden track.#patrick stump #myevilposts

1 note · View note

sludgeguzzler · 2 years

Text

look i really dont mind having a pre t body with its little biological quirks but i have a limit and the limit is waking up at 4am with immense pain and a puddle of blood on my bed

#im probably most likely overhyping what t will do to my body but i cant wait till my periods stop #if they dont stop i will fr go after some way of stopping them im not kidding there is literally nothing good that i get from having them #its just. its just pain and blood and a constant reminder of how Woman i have to be. it makes me sad #like. all the good cramp medicine is like WOMAN PILL FOR YOUR SCHEDULED GIRL MOMENT OF THE MONTH [picture of a woman]#[venus symbol] [flowers]#and all pads come with th same thing too. like i get that its technically not harming anyone but please man cmon #my mood gets all janged up i cant think straight in the worst ways possible im always having breakdowns during them #and i have to deal with genuinely unbearable pain! and! a heavy flow! because my moms ovaries! are the most fucked ovaries ever!#hhg the only good thing i can think of is that if there was a death metal band of trans guys the lyrics theyd write would be sick #[hi this is me telling you im about to get a little gross so if stuff like this grosses you out uh. yeah]#like the gruesome symbolism of periods is pretty damn cool if im honest. i dunno #i genuinely really like the movements on normalizing periods and how they are not something to be ashamed of and happen with a lot of ppl #but. but.#it puts a lot of emphasis on how its a Woman thing when a lot of women (cis or otherwise) dont have them #and it excludes all the other non woman people who have them #re personal opinion but i think our image of periods really shouldnt be flowery beautiful woman moment that passes by in a blink.#i think we should talk about how it hurts and how it will suck a little too hard for some people and that #periods not always mean a symbol of feminity and fertility and other stuff (its 5am im tires) to everyone #like to me periods are misery and oain and dysphoria but i have a cis friend who sees her periods as symbols of her womanhood abd #*and like. shes not wrong but im also not wrong either #idk my head hurts and i wanna go bacm to sleep so bye #sg.txt

26 notes · View notes

weirdcharacter · 9 months

Text

So good news: I've finished cleaning up this account and my likes!

Still have my other acc to clean (will take a bit more time though LMAOO) but yeah very happy about that hehehe

#I'm really happy #digital cleaning takes some time but DAMN does it feel good #so yeah this account will be redecorated and will be mainly about like LOTR i think #and some writing stuff #a bit of ocean here and there #but yeah mostly lotr i feel hehe

2 notes · View notes

skyeventide · 2 years

Text

it's funny because I follow so many more people who would have reason to reblog amazon's rings of power giftsets and stuff than people who'd reblog house of the dragon or interview with the vampire etc, and yet I see 80% more gifsets and screenshots of the latter two than anything about tRoP. good job y'all. I'm proud.

#quenta noldorinwa #obviously not tagging this but #the name is in the text so blacklists should catch it anyway #that show is so terrible at the writing level I have no words #I expected it to be not great so it's not like I came in with high hopes #and damn I'm still impressed by how not good it is #rings of power critical #then there's of course all the incredibly clumsy borderline offensive #shit that has to do with imperialism race interactions #and sexism #there's some good stuff yeah but not worth sticking around for

22 notes · View notes

waywardsalt · 11 months

Note

Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.

Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!

the answer ended up being really long lol

Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...

Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)

other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.

there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.

nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.

the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.

honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.

now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.

honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.

i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.

other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.

yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.

#asks #zeldanamikaze #salty talks #i think for media to really fuck me up there has to be some kind of intense emotional aspect to it or have some specific visual stuff #my enjoying of berserk is proof that it takes specific stuff to really get to me. the way i tested if id be fine reading berserk is so #fucked in hindsight. i straight up looked up the two most infamous eclipse chapters online and read them to make sure id be fine #what the fuck. i just dove in head first fucking god #anyways yeah. like berserk is generally fine for me but cowboy bebop episode 20 did have me a lil fucked up. its so good #ive been looking more into horror stuff recently and i have a lot of respect for (well-executed) horror games like damn. i wanna play #silent hill 2 so bad. it's a really interesting genre when pulled off effectively on a level deeper than just 'oh look at this scary thing'#anyways. i recently watched mononoke and its not really horror just kinda unsettling. its so fucking good #tbh tho there are some fanfics ive read that did actually fuck me up (which is why i kinda have an aversion to angst)#but i didnt want to talk abt those bc i dont want to name names or anything. theyre good fics they just affected me pretty negatively #generally its more like. freaky irl things that fuck me up but thats not fun to talk about its just like. depressing #sorry it took so long to reply to this i hadnt really sat down to write it or anything an just. couldnt think of much lol #anyways ig bottom line is that its more likely for non-horror stuff to fuck me up? or its gotta be specific stuff idk #i played a few hours of portal 1 at a friends house years ago and for some reason it creeped me out a whole lot #strangely enough i dont think scooby doo mystery incorporated fucked me up when i first watched it #i think there was like 1 episode that scared me more than the rest but it was never too bad #and that show is regarded as likely the most actually scary scooby thing. its rlly good #im pretty sure scooby doo was my first (or one of my first) special interest #also (similarly) i dont really get nightmares too often my dreams are just kinda really weird most of the time #i did actually have like. a scary dream recently but i dont know if id fully call it a nightmare

2 notes · View notes

jorvikzelda · 1 year

Text

the note in the jorvikpov masterdoc next to the prompt/summary for the next one saying July 19th vs. the date on my computer saying 2023-08-06: fight

#''I can get one of these out every week!'' YOU CANNOT. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF #I will say though part of it is I have been parallel working on some later stuff that I REALLY feel a need to post close to each other #z talks #not posting today btw. I'm aiming to not let it be more than three weeks since the last one at least but we'll see #I am *practically* finished but the hardest part always comes after the first draft #It is an insane process to write these little snippets and try to make them as good as they can be #When I'm finished I am going to write something LONGER good god. Stretch my legs after sitting on the jorvikpov plane for 2 years.#(...not saying it will have been that long - hopefully it won't have. but it Might)#actually.... let me count #oh yeah it will. it will have been 2 years almost #damn it. I didn't want to finish it during the winter.#quite frankly I was aiming to post the last one on the 27th of august but life happened #aaaanywy. sleep #am eepy

4 notes · View notes

urmomsstuntdouble · 2 years

Text

the cw is addicted to having great ideas but turning them into terrible tv shows

#like. get a better writer im begging #cause like a lot of elevator pitches from them are good! or if not good interesting and complex enough to sustain a show #and then they pick the worst possible way to write it #their characters have no depth #the drama only evokes boredom #etc etc #i am watching the 100 and the idea is genuinely a very interesting one #like this is very clearly a political drama centered around immigration and colonialism but dressed up as a sci fi #and yet it says nothing about any of those issues #they must've known some of what they were doing #cause theres a whole debate about who has the right to the land in the show #and theres one group that calls another savages #and all this other stuff that makes me think it cant have been an accidnet #and then theyre just like. oh yeah the point of this is people being put in impossible decisions and killing each other #like nobody on this show is a good person. they are all horrible people and needlessly melodramatic #plus it's too damn dark to see anything #anyways..#ceros posting

4 notes · View notes

smol-tired-binch-blog · 28 days

Text

sigh. I miss when I liked Kiwami

#smol speaks #smol plays yakuza #its not a good game ladssss its not greeeeat and i still have that tiny soft spot for it but like damn #it really fucked people's perception of Majima so fuckin bad and his lacking prescence later on rubs salt in the wound #the story is a mess but could be so good if it was good. And also my wifey is in there (She Is Suffering More Than Jesus)#but literally i replayed it to see Nishikiyama again. It hits different than just watching the cutscenes. But idk man it aint the same #Also j was like new to the series and i was so excited for it and i thought the whole series would play like it (4 unique styles)#and its one of the few games i can physically play and the 0 was even better!! And then K2 happened. Yeah.#3 is good i stand by that 5 is good when Haruka is there and theres some good stuff but the longer this goes on the more tired i get #the more i have to complain about and like. I wonder do i even like these games anymore? I think i do? Ishin got fun eventually #I care so strongly about a handful of characters and i think theres such good stuff in these games and stories and Then They Fuck It Up!#i cant hate this series too much if my fave OCs are in there and its the only thing i write fic for but. Yeah. Im tired #I Want Kiryu Gone. I Miss My Boys

0 notes

makeitlookdecent · 1 month

Text

srry homie for what im boutta do

for the au[other colors] i thought it would be cool to have klugs parents show up for a couple scenes, but for the timeline of the major events i needed them GONE and UNRESPONSIVE.

hes smart so i think, even at a young age, he gets that they're busy with work and all, and he's not alone per say- his friends and teachers and everyone in primp would definitely look out for him, but ive just been thinking. because like, i thought itd be cool if it was almost like strange also helped raise klug. as a (malicious) mentor of sorts. after they made truce (that they both keep breaking)

i imagine klugs parents are probably good people, but are horrible as parents. like they just keep doing their own thing and just let the village raise him.

but then that got me thinking, in this setting, do you think he would unknowingly (or maybe knowingly but trying not to think about it) resent them for not being there for him growing up?