#(not like we know ptsd anyways. so it’s a really interesting exploration of grief and suppression and dealing with it- or not dealing with)

[dunadaan]

I’ve been feeling Créa creep up on me as of late and today I went back and reread my little document where I type up random ideas for scenes/fics and I was like. Wow who wrote this. This is really good. Why isn’t there more of this damn. But also wow I really put miss créa through the blender and she is a fine red mist a lot. But that is the life of a ranger…and even when she’s not a ranger anymore I press blend on high and she is sadly used to that

[upstartpoodle]

so according to stills from next week's episode George is gonna remarry ??? do you think the writers will just suddenly gloss over George's grief and act as if he's all better now??

Hi, thanks for the ask! I would like to think that George’s grief won’t be glossed over, but my faith in Debbie’s ability to a) handle storylines consistently, and b) handle George as a character consistently diminished some time around s3. To be honest, I suspect that the issues that George has been struggling with this series will be dismissed as having been “fixed” in the same way that Dwight was never really affected by his PTSD after that one episode. I hope this won’t happen, but I’m keeping my expectations low, so if it turns out not to be the case that those issues are just forgotten about, I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

If they are, however, I don’t think it would really make much sense, both from a character and storytelling perspective. George’s grief has clearly affected him deeply, and a couple of conversations with Dwight isn’t really going to be enough to just make that disappear. Not to mention that she wrote an entire episode in which he was essentially tortured by the doctor Cary employed to “cure” him--an experience which, compounded with everything else he was going through, was horrifying enough that he tried to jump off a cliff--and if his grief isn’t something that can be magically fixed, that certainly isn’t either. I would expect anyone, not just George, to be changed in some way by an experience like that, and to have some real, lasting trauma from which they would need to recover, but, in all honesty, I’m not sure if Debbie is interested in properly exploring the ramifications of the plot she herself wrote.

Honestly, I really have no idea what Debbie is even trying to do with George’s overall arc. If she wanted to explore how his mental state had deteriorated in the wake of Elizabeth’s death, why not focus on his recovery over the whole of the series? If she just wants him to be a one dimension villain for her slavery plotline, then why bother drumming up sympathy for him over about half the series only to change direction so abruptly we all get whiplash? Why bother having him horribly abused for a whole episode if she doesn’t acknowledge that it might have had a lasting effect on him? In the end, she tried to do both, but the execution leaves a little to be desired, and so it comes across as stilted and unnatural.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to Debbie trying to use him to facilitate other characters’ storylines. Having him as the villain of the slavery plotline allows the Poldarks and Ned to look better by comparison, whereas his experience with Dr Penrose helps move on Dwight’s storyline about treating mental health (not complaining on that count--though I hate what happened to George in 5x03, their scenes together were pretty good, and quite frankly, I would preferred for there to be more of them over the course of the series). In some ways, I think the (pretty weird) Geoffrey Charles/Cecily/George saga is a result of this as well, in this case to give Geoffrey Charles Drawenna-style angst over the prospect of Cecily marrying his stepfather. I don’t really know how Debbie’s going to write herself out of this whole plot, though don’t think the marriage is actually going to go ahead (I suspect it’ll be stopped at the last possible minute for the sake of drama or something like that), since if she wants to stay true to the later books, George shouldn’t be remarrying until much later, and to someone who isn’t Cecily. I mean, he did seem very unenthusiastic about the match back in 5x04, so it’s possible that he might have a last minute change of heart and call it off, but, to be honest, I feel like the fact that he’s going along with it in the first place is a little strange considering Debbie’s taken such pains to emphasise his love for and grief over Elizabeth in the early part of the series.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough now so I’d better stop before I go on for paragraphs and paragraphs as if I haven’t done that already ha. I’m prepared to reserve judgement on the whole thing until the series is over--like I said, I might be pleasantly surprised--but if not, at least we’ll always have fic.

[kajaono]

X men master post

I am allways a little bit surprised that the X-men movies are not more popular by „diverse“ people. I can understand why the MCU is favored by many white straight male persons but let me break down the XMCU a little bit for you and why it actually has a lot more depth and diversity then the MCU. And they did important stuff when it came to disability and female representation around 10 years before the MCU did it.

Diversity, with in the main cast:

Logan: While he first appears as a hot wet male dream his character actually has way more depth. He suffers from PTSD and amnesia. While in the MCU Tonys PTSD was (mostly) only discussed in Iron man 3 Logans PTSD is a constant companion in every story that features him. He suffers from sleeplessness and nightmares. He shows sign of affection towards the man who tortured him. And even long after he has got his memory back and found out why he sufferes from PTSD the triggers are still there. And they can be activated at any given moment. Like in Days of future past where one look at a young version of guy who will torture him some where in a distant future was enough to gave him a panic attack and flashbacks. And all of this (nightmares, panic attacks, flashbacks) are happening in every movie and are making it nearly impossible for him to find a home or form stable relationships with other people.

Erik: A jewish man. And being jewish is a big and important part of the character. It is still a superhero movie so we never see him celebrating jewish holidays but he is constantly reminding the viewer that we never should forgot what happend back then in the KZ without reducing him to that. But actually showing how he overcomes his grief and anger by making it a constant companion of him. 

Charles: A disabled man. While his disability is never shown as something that stops him from doing stuff (because he has a fancy sci fi wheelchair) there is a whole movie that shows how he tries to accept his life in a wheelchair. And after he accepted the wheelchair it a constant companion of him so we see him going into fights with a wheelchair and noone finds anything “strange” about that (aka making comments about him). Actually people are more confused when he stays at home. But that doesn’t mean that his disability is ignored.

Rogue: A girl that can actually kill by touching other people. She is perfect example how being different scares other people and make you an outcast. Until that point where you are unable to love and accept yourself. And what i found so fascinating about her story. It showed that it is okay to give up. That we do not can win every fight. That giving up is okay when it is what makes us happy and gives us peace

Powerful female main characters:

In the XMCU women where allways part of the main cast. They were never reduced to love interests or sex objects. They were allways in the middle of the fight and kicking ass. Actually 2 out of 3 X men in the first movie are women. They wear the same outfits as there male comapnions and if your name is Storm you get an extra fancy cape. While on the other hand the women are diverse. They are not wet male dreams of hot women kicking ass but actually you have:

Jean: A doctor. Who is really calming. A loving teacher and girlfriend. Also a little insecure about herself. While also being one of the most powerful mutants around and kicking ass. And she is allowed to say: NO!” Something we rarely see in other superhero movies. In x men 2 she shows signs of attraction and affection towards Logan. But instead of cheating with him on her boyfriend she says: No, please do not let me do that.” Because women are perfectly functional human beings who can still decide against a guy when they feel attraction towards him, knowing it wouldn’t be good for her/or when she wants to protect her relationship with her boyfriend.

Storm: A woman of color. Sadly her character never really got fleshed out.... not like Jeans character. (She deserves a solo movie!) But she is this quiet cool woman who somehow manages to stay away from every relationship drama because she never gets a male love interested forced onto her. She is this kind of women who makes you hyped everytime you see her own screen just because her presence alone is so powerful

Rogue: Actually she is still a child and doesn’t know anything about fighting. She is super insecure. Is really closed off from the world (caused by her powerful mutation) But somehow she is allways in the middle of the battle and saving the world with small actions.

Kitty: While her character gets introcuded really late, and she is actually only a side chatacter, the whole plot of xmen 3 and days of future past would not have worked without her. 

Queer characters:

Nevertheless this is still a superhero and hollywood movie which means queer representation is of cource not present in text. BUT! That doesn’t mean it is not present at all. 1. The whole plot of x men 2 was a LGBTQ metaphore. There is this whole conversation in x men 2 where a mother sits down with her son after he says: Mum i have to tell you something.” Then he comes out as gay a mutant. Later the mother asked when he first relaized that he is gay a mutant. And if he ever tried not to be gay a mutant. Bouns point that actually this character comes out as gay in the comics. Also it has Ian McKellen who highly supports a gay reading of his character Erik.

Yeah Cherik:

From the very first moment they share a deep lovers to enemies relationship with eachother. Because no matter how much they fight against eachother. They allways end up together again, saving eachother, unable to let eachother go. Their relationship ended really tragical in the first timeline. But the new timeline with Fassbender and Mcavoy did not stopped that. They added 100% more homoerotic subtext. And then they wrote a whole movie for them only to explain how they meet and fall in love. And it was so gay that Fassbender and Mcavoy confirmed that FOX seperated them in later movies to reduce the gay subtext. BUT! that did not stop the writers from make it canon in the last movie. Yeah, it is still a Hollywood movie so not canon CANON but if you watch it you will see that it is canon. A little bit like good omens. They are moving in together and playing chess like they allways did... in Paris... the city of love... they couldn’t have been more obvious. Would have been openly queer representation even better? Sure. But with this little ending FOX XMCU achieved more then the MCU in the last 10 years.

The cinematography is perfect. Many may know the scene where Quicksilver is running through the kitchen in light speed listing to music. The movies have so much more of these moments. Also in the early movies where they had less money and CGI. So they need to invest a lot of time into planning how to film exciting scenes while still saving money and time. That resulted in absolut amazing scenes that make especially X men 2 a bless to watch. Also that most of the movies are PG 13 blood is only used where it is needed but then allways in such an aesthetical beautiful way that it is allways blowing my mind.

Body positivity: is a big topic especially in the first three movies. Sure the main characters are all perfect looking people but what matters here are the children. Most of the storyline is playing in a school and not a single one of the kids is a model type person. They are are super mixed, super chubby, super skinny, tall, small,  freckles, curly hair, flat hair etc. And they all dress as bad all children did that grew up in the early 2000s. I think that is especially important for the children that are watching the movies. Becuase they see that all the kids are looking like them and have super powers anyway, no matter what skincolor or body type, so they do need to stress about that

Sexual consent: Especially in the main movies there are never any out of the blue sex moments. And as i allready mentioned Jean says: No” to a kiss with Logan because she doesn’t feel good with it but i think even more important is the scene in x men 3 where Jean goes completly Phoenix and wants to have sex with Logan he first goes along happily because that is what he allways wanted. But in the moment he realizes that Jean is out of her mind and not really there he stop immediatly. He regnoizes her boundaries and says: Let us stop. And let us talk about it tomorrow again.” And i think this scene is so important. It shows the viewer that just because a woman wants to have sex with you it is not necessarily right to use her helplessness as an excuse to actual have sex with her. Instead you should try to get her sober/clean and bring her home. 

Up-to-dateness: Escpecially the older movies are still really up to date. There is this whole scene in X men 2 where police forces are storming into the mutant school by night and are arreasting little children by gun power. Just to imprison them later on, with out food, proper cloths or a lawyer. But also the realization that if you are part of a marginalized group you have to fight 10x times harder to be accepted, that you allways have to good, because one mistake and everyone will hunt you down and bully you again. That gets a nice addaition by the scene in x men 1 where Mystique says that she was afraid to go to school when you was young because of her beng different even though noone can actually see it.

Problems. of course there are problems. Here are the four main ones.

Solo movies: Everything i said about the x men movies does not necessarily have to apply for the solo movies. The Wolverine solo movies allways feature a quick female love interest and fights that get more brutal and bloody with every new solo movie released. They do not take their time to explore Logans PTSD and trauma even more and focus more on the action. And also the female love interest do not know how to fight, are weak, are needing protection and are getting killed off easily.

Storm. Her character was more of a side character from the beginning. She had not really much character development but all in all her character still got treated well (okay in x men 3). It gets horrible in the new movies. In days of future past she only appears because of her powers. She is just standing there and fights. She does not share more then one sentence with the three main characters. With all those characters she is actually really close with in xmen 1 to 3. While all “old” characater (those that allready appeared in x men 1 to 3 and survived) get a heartful goodbye she is excluded from it. Then her origin story happens in Apocolpyse. here she not only joins the bad ones first, she also get absolut sidelined again. Why she joins the good ones in the end is absolut unclear because she never says anything. And i do not even remeber if she even was in Dark Phoenix. Because IF she was in there she probably never said more then one word. We never got the Jean/Scott/Storm origin story we deserve

Rasism. For a movie that is so diverse it has surprisingly few persons of color. Beisde of Storm there is actually no POC in those movies. And let you only need to see above to see how bad she got treated at the end. And then there is still this cursed scene from X men First class where the bad guy says: “You can stay here and live like slaves. Or you can come with me and live like king and queens.” and in the moment he says: Slaves.” the camera focuses on the only black giy in the group who gets murder 5 minutes later. “Kings” zoom at the blond white guy who survives the movie. “Queen” focus on the latina woman in the group who joins the bad guys 5 seconds later and gets injured badly at the end of the movie.

Apocolypse. Actually everyting about this movie is horrible. F.e. while the other movies tried to show how Erik over comes his KZ trauma by making it a part of himself Apocolypse reduces being jewish completly to the KZ and kills off his whole family five minutes later... again. A forced straight romance that leads nowhere. Everything about Storm in this movie. This movie is just cursed.

Also x men 3 feels a little bit off sometimes but this is part of another post

So with the Xmen now joining the MCU i can highly recommend everyone to check out the x men movies. Especially the old ones from 2000 who still have the most depth and do not try to be a copy of the MCU.

So all in all i can highly recommend you to watch the X men movies. And the contunity errors that many MCU fans are laughing about are actually really helpful because it makes the movies more flexible then the MCU movies. And that avoid shitstorms and makes the fandom - most of the time - a really relaxed place to be in

[hayleysstark]

Queenie here! YOU. WATCH. TROLLHUNTERS??!! OH MY GOD I! LOVE!! THAT!!! SHOW!!!! My sis and I are obsessed! We've binged all 3 seasons plus the follow up series, 3Below. I hope to buy the art book when it's released this summer. What do you like about the show? It must be thrilling to have TWO Jims in your roster of "sass master brunette boys who have a heart of gold but who will also definitely THROW HANDS"

Yes!!! I’m not finished quite yet, still somewhere in the middle of S3, I think I just hit episode ten, but I haven’t actually seen it yet, it’s just where I left off!! Merlin’s bein a shady bitch oof he’s,,,,,,,, up to something. bUT i have a legit weakness for any and all adaptations/interpretations of the character of Merlin ((i really don’t know why I decided to stan an old-ass man from 12th century Wales but there we are)) so i don’t dislike Merlin here by any means. he’s just pretty manipulative of Jim so far and im like oh fuck off man this kid is 16 give him a break u know??

@etheriumart actually got on me to watch it a while back, and I really,,,, didn’t like S1 at all, I sat through probably the first ten episodes and it just didn’t catch my interest at all. It felt more like a high school sitcom with fantasy elements than anything, and it really turned me off, so I said I wasn’t going to finish it, but I felt bad ’cause I felt like maybe I just didn’t give it enough of a chance, and Mason’s my friend and I want to explore what interests them just as much as any of my other friends, so I went back to it several months later and binged the remaining episodes of S1 and all of S2 in a BLITZ lmao and then I fucked off and never caught up on S3 so I’m doing it now that it’s on my mind!!

Oof is 3Below any good?? I’m thinking about giving it a shot once I’ve finished out the main series, but I’m not sure yet! Aliens really aren’t my area so I’m,,,, hesitant lmao

Oh, I didn’t know there’d be an art book!! Thanks for letting me know!! That’s super cool, I’ll have to snap it up when I can! ((pls stop me I have,,,,,,,,,, sO many art books at this point lmao))

“sass master brunette boys who have a heart of gold but who will also definitely THROW HANDS” LMAO I KNOW WHAT MY NEXT TATTOO IS GOING TO SAY FOR SURE. listen,,,,,,,, listen,,,,,,, im WEAK for snarky boys who overflow with kindness and compassion but also hostility and aggression lmao I AM,,,,,, A BASIC BITCH,,,,,, DONT JUDGE,,,,,, U DONT KNOW MY LIFE,,,,

 I really love all the imagination that went into this series, to be honest. The designs for the trolls + various other creatures are all so unique and diverse, I think my favorites are Queen Usurna and Nomura’s changeling form!! The little details, like Usurna’s bio-luminescent markings and sharp head quills, or the sleek colors and catlike shapes of Nomura, are just so enchanting, I absolutely can’t stop looking when one of them is on-screen!! Argh is Shaped Like a Friend. Gunmar and Morgana are pretty bomb-ass in their design, too, and I really appreciate the similarities and the subtle distinctions between Blinky and Dictatious. 

AND DRAAL’S DESIGN IS,,,,,,,,,,,,,, SO SOFT????? I WEEP,,,,,, ((my last brain cell tells me he has sharp stone spikes all along his back but I remember nothing but Soft Friend. 10/10 would hug.))

And I like that the series is pretty obviously geared toward kiddos, but it’s not afraid to get serious, it’s not afraid to let the stakes get super high. Like. my jaw pretty much hit the floor at the end of S1, and stayed there throughout all of S2. A cute, forgettable comedic show about an average high school boy gaining magic powers and juggling his responsibilities as a student, a son, and the sole protector of a secret world got so REAL, like I lost my goddamn MIND.

Argh was DYING. And then Argh DIED. And they TALKED ABOUT IT. They let it be a THING. They let everybody deal with their grief in different ways, on-screen, right there for everyone to see. 

Jim went into the Darklands on his OWN, and they didn’t let him off easy there, either. They go to pretty extreme lengths to display the psychological repercussions of solitude, imprisonment, constant fear, loss of control, repeated traumatic experiences, like they really DO. Could have gone deeper, I know, it really only JUST scratches the surface of PTSD, but the fact that a children’s show did that honestly left me speechless. It’s a big step. 

Fingers crossed good ol’ Dreamworks makes more shows like that!

Could definitely live without the toilet humor, but hey, again, it’s a show geared toward kiddos. I think it’s safe to say I’m not the target audience here.

Anyways. Thanks so much for letting me scream abt Trollhunters!!! Feel free to keep talking about it, I’m always down!! :3 

[saferincages]

(you might say we are encouraged to love)

I received an ask requesting I make this response its own post in full (which of course I don’t mind doing!) so here it is:

An anon in the original post asked why, “Anakin/Vader is seen as interesting for women,” and that could be a bit of a loaded question, but I think there’s a definite rationale behind it. The way it was phrased made me think of a post I saw which addressed the fundamental split between Anakin and Vader as seen by certain audiences, why Anakin is treated by many derisively because there’s an element of the “heroine’s journey” that happens in relation to his arc and the struggles he goes through. It’s here and it’s really interesting in its entirety. “The constant barrage of degradation and trauma and unfairness of a system that benefits at your expense and refuses to validate you for it. And some of that he might have been able to reconcile by “growing up,” the same way a lot of us learn to come to terms with social fuckery, but Anakin doesn’t get the space to do that. He gets a giant bundle of unaddressed trauma and psychological issues and handed a kind of ambiguous destiny about needing to save the entire universe.” <- Imagine the burden of that, and they put it on a child and then give him zero structure to cope with it.

I’m also going to add this comment from that post because I think it’s worthwhile to note: if someone makes you angry and you show anger with your very own face you are weak, you have lost face, you have shown yourself vain and driven by a selfish, animal, irrational, feminine urge to defend yourself; but if you show anger without a face, if you show it unpersonally (the less it’s connected to direct accusation or a specific ill), especially in order to execute a role, then you suddenly appear to be the one in the position of strength, because you can no longer be directly accused of selfishness. The more you can cloak anger in the guise of necessity, the more you meet the societal expectation to be dispassionate, rational, always controlled - the more justification and legitimacy and power to you, even though this mode of anger is often more destructive than the first. This dynamic, assuming it exists as I’ve hypothesized it, is why I think Anakin codes as feminine to many, while Vader appeals to a certain masculine ideal.

Basically, the gist of it is that the emotional turmoil, the trauma, the way he’s exploited for his talents or what he can provide others, the way his agency is stripped repeatedly from him again and again tends to not be the way “male” hero journeys are told. It’s feminine coding (unfortunately) for those themes to be explored. For those emotions to be plumbed and portrayed with a substantive sense of sorrow and helplessness in the central male hero - it is not the “macho” standard. Why they thought they’d get a macho, unyielding masculine power trip from Anakin Skywalker remains a mystery to me, this is the same series where its original hero, Luke (who is his son! of course there were going to be essential parallels and contrasts between them), purposefully throws his weapon away and refuses to fight, and is characterized by his capacity for intrinsic compassion rather than any outer physical strength (even Han is much less of a “macho” guy than dudebros tend to make him out to be - not only because he’s unmistakably the person in distress who has to be rescued from capture in ROTJ, he has a lot of interesting facets that break down that ‘scoundrel’ stereotype, but I digress other than to say I love the OT, and the subtle distinctions in Luke, Leia, and Han that make them break the molds of expectation). SW fundamentally rejected toxic masculinity and the suppression of emotions from its inception, Luke’s loving triumph and role as redeemer only happens because he refuses to listen when he’s told to give up on his friends or on his belief that there’s good in his father, his softness is his ultimate strength. Anakin was never going to be some epitome of tough masculinity, and George Lucas knew exactly what he was doing crafting him in that way. The audiences who wanted Bad Seed Anakin from the beginning didn’t know how to reconcile this sensitive, kind-hearted, exceedingly bright kid, with their spawn of the Dark Side notions, and I think, unfortunately, far too many then either rejected him completely or refused to understand what the central points in his characterization are about.

The fact that this narratively would have made no sense (if Anakin had been “born bad,” then there would have been no miraculously surviving glimpse of light for Luke to save - I’ve said this before, but imagine how profoundly essential to his true self that goodness had to be for it to even exist any more at that point, after all he’d suffered, after all he’d done. the OT tells us more than once what a good man Anakin Skywalker was, it’s part of what makes the father reveal as powerful as it is - if we hadn’t heard the fragments of stories about Luke’s father, it wouldn’t be nearly as shocking, but we KNOW he was a hero, an admirable man, a good friend). I can’t fathom how tricky telling the prequels had to have been to that extent - the audience knows what will happen in the end, it’s a foregone conclusion, we know he will fall, we know Vader will be created, we know the Empire will rise (though that would have happened even if Anakin had remained in the light, which is a whole other discussion). So the question became, who is this person? What influenced him? What shaped his destiny? And that ended up being a far more complex and morally fraught and stirringly emotional story than just “badass Jedi becomes badass Sith lord.”

That talented, highly intelligent boy is taken in by the Jedi after he has already developed independent thought and very intricate emotional dimension - the argument that he’s “too old” to be trained is because he’s not malleable enough to be indoctrinated the way Jedi usually treat the children they take. They may blame this on his attachment to Shmi, but she’s not the problem (if anything, had they not been so unfeeling and rigid, and had they freed her and allowed her to at least stay in contact with her son while he was training because it was a special case - they’re the ones who stick that “Chosen One” mantle on him, you’re telling me they couldn’t make an exception? but no, because they put that weight on him and then never help him carry it and constantly undermine it and question and mistrust him - Anakin would have been stronger in his training, and he would never have fallen to the Dark Side at all. There are so many moments, over and over, where his fall could have been averted, and everyone fails him to the bitter end, when he fails himself). 

And so he is traumatized, due to years of abuse and difficulties as a slave, due to having to leave his mother behind because the Jedi would not free her, due to being told to repress his emotions over and over again when he is, at his core, an intuitive and perceptively empathetic person (he wants to uphold that central tenet of his training - “compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life”), yet he’s made to feel he is broken/wrong/constantly insufficient. He’s wounded by abandonment issues and lack of validation and the human connection/affection he craved, and he develops an (understandable) angry streak, he’s socially awkward due to the specific constraints/isolation of a Jedi’s life and due to the fact that they tried to stamp out what made him uniquely himself, which makes him continually conflicted with a never-ending pulse of anxiety (see absolutely ANY moment where he breaks down emotionally, and you’ll see him say something to the effect of “I’m a Jedi, I know I’m better than than this,” “I’m a Jedi, I’m not supposed to want [whatever very basic human thing he wants, because they make him feel like he can’t even ask for or accept scraps of decency]” - they fracture his sense of his own humanity, Padme tries to validate those feelings but that Code is a constant stumbling block in his mind). He is troubled by fear and the constant press of grief (I would argue he has PTSD at the very least), and all around he’s met by mistrust and sabotage. 

Male heroes shouldn’t be treated as infallible in their own narratives (none of them are that, as no character of whatever gender/origin is, as none of us are), but at the very least we usually see them treated with respect by others. Anakin often gets no such luxury. He’s treated the way we frequently see women treated, and that treatment comes from the same rotten core - the idea that emotions are weak, that expressing them makes you lesser, that crying is a sign of deficiency, that fragility of any kind cannot be tolerated. Anakin is even the hopeless romantic in this situation - Padme, while gracious and warmhearted, is much more pragmatic and tries to reason her way out of her blossoming love for him until she’s of the belief that it doesn’t matter anyway because they’re about to die, and she wants him to know the truth before they do. (I’d also like to note that the closest people to him all speak their love aloud when they’re at the point of death - Shmi when he finds her bound and tortured with the Tuskens, Padme in the Arena, Obi-Wan watching him burn on Mustafar, and how unbearably sad is that? even though his mother had said it before, even though he got to hear it many times again from Padme - and it’s her last entreaty to him - we shouldn’t be pushed to the brink of death to express it). Anakin is the one gazing at her dreamily and tearing up about it and professing earnest, dramatic love in front of the fireplace (idc what anyone says about the dialogue, the way he expresses himself is entirely sincere, it’s the rawness of that sincerity that I think makes people uncomfortable bc it’s unexpected), she’s the one who talks about living in reality. She, too, has been taught to guard and temper her emotions from her time as a child queen and the years she’s spent navigating the murky political waters of the Senate, but she’s become adept at it, unlike Anakin. If anything, they’re the only person the other has with whom they can be truly genuine and unafraid of exposing the recesses of their hearts, they’re the only safe place the other has, it’s no wonder they give themselves over to that, and the fact that they do is beautiful, it’s not wrong (which I have more cohesive thoughts on here and it was the underlying thesis of my heart poured into the super long playlist for them too /linking all the things). They see the joy and spirit in the other that no one else ever sees, and they make a home there.

Anakin becomes an esteemed general not only because he’s awesome in battle and strong in the Force and a gifted pilot and a skilled leader (all of which are true), but because he shows those around him respect, and great care. So, yet again, there’s a subversion of what might have been expected. No one is expendable to him. He views the Clone troops as individual human beings. He mourns their losses (many of the Jedi, with their no attachments rhetoric, allow the Clones to be used without much hesitation or thought for their status as sentient beings born and bred and programmed to die in war, but Anakin was a slave. He comprehends their status more than anyone else could). Anakin is a celebrated hero to the public, and in private is being chewed up by fear and uncertainty. Anakin is devoted to and completely in love with his wife, but has to keep it a secret. Anakin still craves freedom that even being a Jedi has not afforded him, because of their rigor. Anakin still desperately has to scrape for even the bare minimum of approval from the authority figures around him - even his closest mentor and friend, Obi-Wan, while they are irrevocably bonded and care for each other in a myriad of important ways, often doesn’t understand him and dismisses his feelings, refuses to advocate for/stand up for him when he needs it, or tells him to calm down. I’m surprised they never tell him he’s being hysterical when he gets upset, but the connotation of being told to “calm down” when angry or sorrowful or frustrated is something most women can identify with all too well. His desperate desire to protect Padme as everything begins to curl and smoke and turn to ash around him has a very clear nurturing aspect to it underneath the layers of terror and frustration and building paranoia - all he really wants is to be able to protect and care for his family, all he hopes is to save them and have a life with them away from all the war and the political in-fighting and the stifling Order. He’d quit right that second but he needs help due to his nightmares, and no one is willing to give it to him. (Except, ostensibly, Palpatine, who has been grooming him and deftly manipulating him and warping his perceptions since he was a child, all under the guise of magnanimous, almost paternal, care. Palpatine is brilliant in his machinations, perfectly cunning in his evil. He knows exactly how to slip in and break people, and he plays Anakin to the furthest extreme. I’m not saying Anakin doesn’t have choices, he does, and he makes the worst possible ones, but Palpatine pulls the strings in a way that makes him feel that he has no agency - and in truth, he does have very little agency throughout every step of his arc, marrying Padme and loving her in spite of the rules is one of the only independent choices he ever makes that isn’t an order, a demand, a fulfilling of duty - and Palpatine poises himself as the answer to all the problems, if Anakin does as he’s told. He’s been hard-wired to take orders for too long. He is so damaged by this point, and so distrusting - Hayden said something once about how Anakin is still very naive in ROTS, even after what he’s been through in the war, he’s still so young and unknowing about many things, and then his naivete is shattered by complete and utter disillusionment, and that shock is terrible and incomprehensible for him, so he clings to the one source of power he’s given, and it’s catastrophic). He is haunted by grief and impeded by fear of loss, and it drags him into an abyss. We watch all of this happen with bated breath, we see everyone fail him, we see every moment where he could have been helped, we see every path he could take if only he had the ability to stand up for himself and had been given the tools to cope with his psychological and emotional baggage, we see that he very nearly turns back, up until the death knell at the end. We know it’s coming from the moment they land on Tatooine and meet him and decide to make him a Jedi. We know, and we still hope for it to turn out differently. We know, and it still breaks our hearts.

I don’t want to make blanket statements about typical male viewers vs. typical female viewers, that’s too dismissive of a stance to take, but on a seemingly wider scale, I don’t think many of the former (especially the ones who were either older fans or who were teenagers themselves at the time) were as interested in political nuance and a tale of abiding love and a young man burdened with more than should ever have been put on his shoulders. Since the question was basically “why does he appeal to women,” (and not just cishet women) I imagine that the answer to that varies greatly depending on any one perceptive outlook, but has a similar core in each case of us wishing we could help change the outcome, even though we know we can’t, and of wanting to understand his actions and his pain, wanting to see his positive choices and his goodness validated, wanting to see him learn healthy strategies, wanting to see his love flourish, wanting to see him freed from the shackles he drags with him, from childhood to Jedi to Vader. The crush of the standards of society and expectation on him may speak to many. He is never liberated (until his final moments of free breath). His choices are either taken or horrifically tainted. His voice is drowned out by those more powerful around him. His talents and intelligence go largely unrecognized. His good, expansive heart is treated like a hindrance. The depth of his empathy and love is underestimated - and that, in the end, is important, because that underestimation, ending with Palpatine, becomes the Dark Side’s ultimate downfall and undoing. Vader may literally pick up an electric Palpatine and throw him down a reactor shaft, but that physical action is the final answer to a much more complete emotional and spiritual journey. He throws him down and the chains go with the slave master, and for the first time, certainly since before he lost Padme, his heart is unfettered, his love is reciprocated, and he is offered a true voice, a moment of his true self, a sliver of forgiveness, before being embraced again by the transcendence of the light. It is his act of rebellion, it is his own personal revolution, his final blow in the war. The entirety of the arc hinges upon him in that moment, Luke has been valorous and immeasurably valuable, but he’s done all he can do - the final choice is Anakin’s (and it’s such an interesting case because where else have we ever been able to fear and appreciate a villain, and then totally transform and re-contextualize him?). He is in that moment, indeed, the Chosen One.

All these facets are fascinating to watch unfold if you’re willing to be open-minded and heartfelt and sympathetic to the journey, if you’re willing to dig into the complex depth of his pathos.

I remember seeing AOTC as a teenager, and my love was Padme, she was where I was invested, I identified with her, I loved her kindness and her bravery and her sense of honor and justice, I loved that her femininity did not in any way diminish her and was an asset, I loved that, while she takes charge and has the fortitude to rush headlong to the rescue, while she can fight and tote a gun and blast a droid army as well as anyone, her superpowers are her intellect and her giving heart and gentle spirit. I totally get why Anakin holds onto the thread of hope she gives to him for all of those years, and why he falls in love with her as he does, but since I felt a lot of the story through her eyes, I understood why she was drawn to and fell in love with him, too. He’s dynamic and a bit reckless, he’s courageous, but he’s vulnerable and needs support, he’s deeply troubled but also radiantly ebullient at times (the scene in the meadow where she’s so touched by the carefree joy he exhibits, how it delights her and takes her aback, because she’s almost forgotten what it is to feel that, she’s almost forgotten other people could, and here he is, warm and teasing and spirited), he is often guileless, especially with her, he’s fervent and loving in a way she’s never seen or experienced, and that love is given with abandon to her. Who…wouldn’t fall in love with that? It’s a gravitational pull. AOTC impacted me in certain other personal ways as well, I was trying to understand some nascent hollows of grief (Anakin losing his mother as he does was very affecting and heartwrenching for me, at the time I’d lost my grandfather to whom I was quite close, and I’m also really close to my own mom, so his woe had an echo to me), but that vision that I specifically had of their love, the way I interpreted it (which I may not have had words for at the time, but I certainly had the emotional response) was a dear and formative thing.

I talked about this here, but to rephrase/reiterate, by the time ROTS came out, my life had shifted completely on its axis. I was still young, but my much dreamier teenage self was being beaten down and consumed by illness, and I was angry. Anger is not a natural emotion for me (guilt and self-blame tend to be where I bury anger), and I really didn’t know what to do with it. Everything felt unfair and uncertain, like there was no ground at all to stand on. I hurt all the time, literally and figuratively, I was in constant pain. I was lonely and frightened and sleep deprived and often had nightmares (this is still kind of true lol, as is the physical pain part). Padme was still my heart and touchstone - as she remains so to this day in this story - but suddenly I understood Anakin in a much more profound way, one I’ve held onto because he’s important to me and I love him. I felt his rage, his anguish, his desire to do something, anything, to somehow change or influence the situation, to rectify his nightmares, to cling to whatever might make a difference, might save him from being drowned in the dark and from losing everything that made him who he was as a person. Seeing him try and knowing he would fail was devastating, but also…relatable, in an abstract way (obviously not the violent parts, but thematically, I felt some measure of what it was to scramble up a foundation that is disappearing beneath you, that your expectations and dreams of what your life would be can vanish in disintegrating increments). All I wanted was for someone to help rescue him, because all I wanted was for someone to help rescue me. All I wanted was the hope that things could turn around - and there is hope in ROTS, despite the unending terror and tragedy, it’s never entirely gone, because Star Wars exists as a universe with the blazing stars of hope and love ever ignited at its center - but still, it was a very personally rooted emotional exploration for me, and I only started to deal with my own floundering anger when I saw how it might consume the true and loving and softer parts of me if I didn’t hold it back. (A few years later, I went through this again in an even worse way, and the source of that rage and despair was someone I cared for, and once I got through the worst bleak ugliness of it, there were a couple of stories I returned to in an attempt to gain newfound solace and comprehension, and Anakin and Padme were in there. My compassionate, hopeful heart was being torn by that fury, and I clawed my way back up from the brink of it because I knew I could die, not even necessarily figuratively, it was…a bad time, if I didn’t find my way out. Anakin’s story is a tragedy and a fable and a kind of warning - we should not deny or suppress our emotions or our authenticity, but we also cannot let it destroy us - and then ultimately his lesson is restorative, too, that we never lose the essential part of our souls, that we must allow ourselves to feel. Balance indeed). 

As consistent and transparent as my love for Padme has always been, my Anakin emotions are actually so close and personal that I intentionally avoided ever exposing them for actual years, it’s like…basically in the past month that I’ve ever been truly honest about it on Tumblr, because exposing that felt like too much, but I don’t really care about keeping it quiet any more, and that’s very cathartic. 

I myself am an incredibly emotional person, and I don’t believe that Anakin’s emotions are negative qualities, which I meant to underscore. In fact, his open emotions are an exquisite part of him, and it’s the Jedi who are wrong for trying to stamp that out, when his emotional abilities are part of what define him in his inherent goodness and his intellect and strength. He has an undying heart. For he and Luke both to stand as male heroes who represent such depth of feeling is really special, and vital to the story. Anakin is the most acutely human character in many respects, in his foibles and his inner strengths, in his losses and his longings and his ultimate return to his true self - that’s why we feel for him, that’s why we ache and fear for him, that’s why we rejoice for him in the end.

Other people could speak to the Vader part of it much better than I can, Vader’s an amazing and very interesting villain (the fact that, as Vader, Anakin is much more adhered to the Jedi code and way of thinking than he ever was as an actual Jedi, for example - he has an order to him, he is much more dispassionate, he is very adamant about the power of the Force - is endlessly intriguing, because he’s such a contradiction). I use this term for a different character, but I’m going to apply it here - Anakin is a poem of opposites. He is a center that can serve as either sun or black hole. He is a manifestation of love and light and heroism, he is a figure of imposing power and cold rage. He’s the meadow and the volcano. The question then becomes, how expansive are we? When we’re filled with the contradicting aspects of ourselves, how do we make them whole without falling apart? When we do fail, can we ever do anything to fix it? And the answers again will vary by individual, but to my mind - we’re infinite, and thus infinitely capable of, at any point, embracing our light, even if we’ve forgotten to have faith in it, and while we may not be able to fix every mistake or right every wrong, we can make a better choice and alter the path. The smallest of our actions can ripple and extend and are more incandescent than we know. That’s what he does, against all expectation. In the end, he is an archetype not only of a hero (be that fallen or chosen or divine), but of a wayward traveler come home, a heart rekindled, a soul set free to emerge victorious in the transcendent light.

In the final resonance of that story for me personally, I love him for being a representation of that journey, that no matter how long it takes to get there, how arduous it is - that things we lose can be found again, that with the decided act of compassion, pure, redemptive love can be held onto, that the light persists and that, even when it flickers most dimly, refuses to be extinguished, and can at any point illuminate not only ourselves, but can shine brightly enough to match the stars in the universe.

I hope this is at all cogent, here’s a gif for your patience ♥

[violetemerald]

Oliver Queen?

This is an answer for: http://luvtheheaven.tumblr.com/post/164336916472/send-me-a-character-and-ill-answer-these

1: sexuality headcanon - heterosexual, but romantic orientation-wise he’s on the aro spectrum, I don’t know where. Details on some of my rough thoughts there:http://luvtheheaven.tumblr.com/post/159752574632/headcanon-oliver-queen-as-aromantic-spectrum and basically I’m convinced that multiple aro-spec interpretations make sense, not at once but depending on your interpretation. (I also shared this same exact thing on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/10705410 )

2: otp - Felicity (Olicity), although starting seeing the series wth 1x07 had me kinda hugely supporting Helena/Oliver for a bit. I’ve since pretty much forgotten that was once an OTP of mine on this show though. I’m a huge fan of exploring the dynamic between Oliver&Sara or even Oliver&Laurel, but… it’s complicated. Not really the hugest Olicity shipper, but they are my otp for both of their characters.

(more below cut)

3: brotp - I’m not a fan of this term although the more all of fandom uses it, the more I’m worn down and i don’t hate it the way i once did i guess. It still feels really weird to me as encompassing of all platonic bonds, even family? Even with huge age differences? Even when “bro” would be the last thing out of either character’s mouth?

Ok so my answer. Hmm. Idk I really really love a lot of platonic bonds Oliver has, and my level of love for each kinda shifts through the seasons. I loved Tommy&Oliver a ton in season 1, especially for what it would mean to Tommy, actually. More than for Oliver. The conversations Barry and Oliver have seem to get more special to me each crossover ep, they have a really interesting and enlightening dynamic *especially* where Oliver is concerned and it’s slowly grown on me. I definitely love Oliver&Diggle, that is intense and deep found family brotherhood in canon and they are everything. I think my love for Thea/Oliver has dwindled a bit over the seasons. I also love Oliver&Quentin more than ever since Laurel’s death. I think they might be my favorite dynamic to look at throughout every single season of the show, perhaps tied with Oliver&Diggle because both are so complex and have so many scenes, so much story to work with, so much footage to vid with, etc. I’ve never seen Quentin/Oliver vidded actually (hmm… ideas…)

4: notp - I like this term more. I think Laurel/Oliver have zero sexually charged chemistry to me but mainly it’s the Oliver slash ships that I just can’t see, especially Barry/Oliver? Or god, I’m still scarred from my first ever? forray into Arrow fanfiction confronting me with Thea/Oliver as a sexual ship?? NOO why people.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head - well I don’t have many of these most of the time but two I’m thinking might be 1) that he never intended to have children, probably decided he didn’t want kids at some point before finding out about William but I’m not sure if it’d be before or during or after the island. And 2) before the island he drank a lot of alcohol ans a lot of coffee. After the island he only drinks rarely at special occasions and only a tiny amount, and doesn’t need caffeine at all, thinks it messes up his perception of his surroundings so basically avoids coffee. Is this disproven by any scenes in the show? Probably. I don’t know. I’ll look when I finally rewatch.

6: favorite line from this character - Not really something I have memorized lol. I don’t just “have” a favorite line but. When I was recently trying to vid an Oliver character study I noticed this line he said to Laurel at the end of season 1 and I love whay it says in general to tie together pre-island and post-island Oliver:“Those five years didn’t change me. They just they scraped away all the things that I wasn’t and revealed the person I always was, which is the person– That’s who you always saw. I don’t know how you saw it, but you did.”Also though I just was looking on a page of Oliver Queen quotes to see if something inspired me as a fave and idk, I do like from season 4:“I need to believe that no matter what happens in our lives, no matter how much darkness infects us, I need to believe we can come back from that!”7: one way in which I relate to this character - this is a tough one for me, I love him and care about him but he’s so different from me. But probably that he doesn’t really feel like an adult/ start getting his life together until older than average is a pretty good way the two of us are similar. And also maybe that he’s had experience with people having stronger feelings for him than he has had back and not knowing how to deal with it (somewhat related to my aro headcanon).

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character - um... Idk. It's pretty bad when he is telling his mom he got a girl pregnant and oh, it's not laurel, and again later awkward when he has to talk about that mistake of his to team Arrow, etc... a moment like when Thea points out to him that he might be The Hood because the souvenir he brought her back from the island was indeed an arrowhead is also a contender.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? - i don't think of him, typically, as really that problematic, but he is a murderer and tortures people and i guess that makes him closer to that side of the spectrum. He's not really a bubbly cinnamon-y type of guy anyway lol. The way the show handles the topic of suicide or PTSD, or maybe even grief itself, when it comes to him is also pretty messy and a little problematic but that's not "his" fault either, it's not problematic from a standpoint of the character's choices or motivations, just perhaps problematic circumstances/ reactions in terms of what it is teaching viewers? Idk.