#(guess it's because her brother is also autistic so i don't have to explain to her what she can do to make my time more comfortable)

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

fucking finally, after a whole summer of telling myself to do it, did i schedule a new tattoo appointment.

[mechanical-aristocrat]

What are your thoughts on Screwllums letter to Svarog? I'm open for discusstions.

[OOC:]

My immediate thought upon reading it was "this is super wholesome and cute" and yeah, I still definitely think that, but I've got a lot more to say now that it's been sitting in my brain for few days so buckle up:

First off, this man is so totally autistic /aff (as is literally any robot character in any piece of media, you can't convince me that an allistic robot is a thing that exists). Over explaining to make sure the exact point he's trying to get across does so as accurately as possible and apologizing in advance for accidentally crossing boundaries (considering that at this point in time Svarog is basically a complete stranger), as an autistic person myself it's very relatable to see.

Second, I think it's really funny that he only knows of Svarog's existence because he watched what is essentially an E-Sports tournament, which he only watched because Silver Wolf practically begged him to (because I think we can pretty safely assume that the "Stellaron Hunter friend" he was referring to was her); that just adds onto the relatability for me because I also do not give a flying fuck about E-Sports, he's so real for that. I love Screwllum and Silver Wolf's dynamic with each other, they give off uncle-niece vibes and it's very fun (what I don't understand and will never understand is people shipping them with each other, it makes me really uncomfortable for several reasons, but for the sake of my sanity I'm not going to get into it).

Third, the letter honestly just confirmed some of the headcanons I had once I sat down and read all the lore regarding the Machine Emperor Wars about a month ago (which I highly recommend btw it's super interesting stuff). I guess I sort of had the fear that Hoyo would try to make it so the IPC just completely dropped every last bit of their idea to exterminate all mechanical life the second Screwllum proved to them that robots aren't inherently harmful to humanity, and that everything was just magically okay after that and humans and machines could live in perfect harmony with absolutely no conflict whatsoever. Thank fuck they didn't do that because that would've been both super boring and super unrealistic, Screwllum acknowledges within the letter that there are many places where robots are regarded only as tools, they don't often have the same sort of foot holding in society that humans do, and he hopes that changes someday.

(one of the headcanons that I have regarding this is that there's a secretive group of people within the IPC that are specifically trying to fuck up Screwllum's reputation and the reputations other robots who are also massive public figures that advocate for robot rights, but especially in Screwllum's case they haven't found much success because that man does not have a single problematic line of code in his programming)

Lastly, I would kill to see Screwllum and Svarog properly interact in the future, I think they'd get along so well and their dynamic would be so fun. I don't necessarily ship them, but more power to you if you do, honestly I might eventually be convinced to ship them if more stuff like this shows up, this was super cute (also, before anyone reading gets confused, the "we will come to call each other "brothers"" bit at the end of the letter does not mean anything that would make shipping these two characters quote-on-quote "problematic". The word "brothers" in this context purely refers to a strong bond of friendship and mutual understanding. I honestly should not have to explain that, but considering that the internet is the internet, I figured I ought to).

[1risstarlight]

(So I wanted to do this for a long time, but I was lazy and I didn't have time; now that I have time here you this)

Headcanon things (pt.1):

Pronouns: any pronouns.

Femboy, Bisexual and Bipolar.

His/Her/Their siblings are Moondrop(his/her twin), Lunar, Earth, Solar (cousin/brother), Ruin(?), Stichwrain (only genetically), KillCode(?), BloodMoon(?), Eclipse (technically I guess) and Creator is the "father".

He/she/they care very much about Moon, Lunar, Earth, Solar, Ruin, KillCode (just a bit); the others not really.

He/She/They is/are on the autistic spectrum.

He/She/They is/are stressed, anxious, polite (some times), loud, very sensitive, nice, pretty, generous, gentle; He/She gives second chances and can easily start panicking.

He/She/They like to clean, make art and kraft, siblings bond, his/her/their cats, play games alone and with others, dress up with nice skirts (like a princess).

He/She/They have PTSD, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), schizophrenia, trauma, aphephobia, fear of abandonment, Othello syndrome, daddy issues, he/she/they is/are kinda suicidal.

He/She/They have a lot of panic attacks and mental break-down.

He/She/They NEED THERAPY SO BADLY.

He/She/They can use magic (in the past, now not really and he/she/they're magic is purple) and star-power.

He/She/They had a toxic relationship with Roxanne Wolf and he's currently single (for now😉).

The ship of him that I like: KidsCove (Sun x Foxy). I also like Sun x Roxanne(WolfRise, how I call them), but only for the angst.

The song that reamaind me of the KIDSCOVE SHIP: Rockbye.

The platonic relationship that I like the most: Celestian Twins/Avatar Twins (Sun & Moon) ☀️💛&🌙💙.

She/He/They was/were friends with Glamrock Bonnie and Glamrock Foxy, before they disappeared (my AU).

He/she/they is/are slow at thinking and comprehending.

You need to explain multiple times a subject that for him/her is complicated (like Moon do in the Show), because he/she/they don't get it immediately.

He/she/they get uncomfortable when emotions are bring as argument.

He/she/they can be VERY scary when he/she/they want.

He/She/They like his/her/their job of Daycare Attendant (he/she/they really like children).

Moon and Lunar are very protective over him/her.

His ray moves with his emotions.

Songs that reamaind me of him/her: watch me work; daylight; chandelier; ring ding ding.

Greeting between family members: rub your nose (headcanon celestial family).

I guess this is it, bye bye folks!!

[blubushie]

do you tell people irl you have aspd?

Hahahaha. No.

Listen. Most people don't know what the fuck ASPD is. But they do know what a sociopath is—or at least have their own idea of what one is, an idea which is practically always incorrect.

So me having to tell someone I have ASPD has always gone "Hey, I want you to know something about me. We're good mates and I figure you got a right to know. I have ASPD." And they always ask what ASPD is. "Antisocial personality disorder." And if I leave it at that I get dropped, cause people always look it up when they get home and I get dropped for lying by omission and not calling myself a sociopath and thinking I could "get away with hiding what it really is" or something. And if I do explain cuz they don't know what ASPD is, it goes "Aka sociopathy. I'm a sociopath." And then I usually get dropped cuz Things Start Making Sense and people have seen too many horror movies.

Or, y'know, I get fired from a job I really enjoyed cuz they consider me a liability. Cheers, M*lbourne.

So I just. I don't fucken tell people. I've got comorbidities and most of my ASPD symptoms/traits I can brush off on those conditions as traits of them. I have low empathy cuz I'm autistic. I'm aggressive because I have trauma and haven't learnt how to cope with it. I'm impulsive cuz of ADHD, I use aliases because of my job, I'm hypersexual because of the CSA I experienced, I do crime cuz I like money and I'm fucken gay, I don't know. I don't tell people about the conduct disorder I had as a kid preceding my trauma, or that I've used aliases long before I started my job, or that I was medicated for my ADHD and certain traits just never changed regardless of how high the dose was until we puzzled out it was because they just weren't the result of ADHD at all.

(Like run-on sentences. Unfortunately that's just how I talk. What's a semicolon?)

So yeah, I just. Don't fucken tell people. I was diagnosed in early February of 2019 at 18 years old as ASPD nomadic subtype with secondary paranoid traits (there's assumed to be a convergent type between malevolent and nomadic but I don't know the name of it and it's not a confirmed subtype, but there's suspicion that's my ACTUAL subtype if it's real), found out I'm also a psychopath when I went to a therapist in M*lbourne a few weeks, and I just. Don't fucking tell people.

My dad knows. Mum knows. My biological brothers don't, but my adoptive brother does. I've confided in mates from high school and I guess 2 years ain't shit cuz they'd all ghosted me after. I told my ex after we'd been dating 4 months and got an earbashing and she very briefly dumped me for a week to "figure things out". And I didn't talk to her a week, and there's nothing quite like desperately wanting to tell someone you're sorry and not being able to because you know you can be really intense sometimes and there's no way for you to approach someone to apologise without them being afraid. And that's hard—she knew about every symptom I had. It wasn't new. But you slap the label of sociopath on it, and now when she looks at you there's a fear in her eyes what wasn't there before. And she wasn't afraid before, when she thought it was just anxiety or autism or OCD or trauma. But "sociopath" is a scary word.

So no, I don't tell people. I let them get to know me first and learn that despite how weird or creepy or unsettling I can come off as, I'm actually harmless. And then if I feel I can trust them to not be ableist about it or turn on a dime and assume the worst of me—and only then—maybe I'll sit them down and be honest.

[galaxythedragonshifter]

I guess a rant or something idk.

I'm just gonna be kinda ranting a bit, so this post is probably going to be extremely long, lmao. So apologies. 😅 Also, TW: lots of serious stuff like abelism, Aphobia, kidnapping mention, r*pe culture, ect. Please be safe and click away if any of these are triggers!

I also apologize for posting something so serious, but I needed to get a lot of my anger off of my chest.

I think one of the biggest problems in today's society is basic respect. I've noticed a lot of disrespect and needless Aphobia, abelism, racism, sexism, ageism, and a lot more going around in almost EVERY community.

A lot of it is just...needless insulting and just commenting unnecessary things that had no business being there. It's happening on Instagram and YouTube probably even more than ever recently (I don't remember it being as toxic as it is now), and people are just...rude in general.

People don't seem to know how to mind thier own business and quit insulting random people on the internet. Who cares if another person doesn't want to continue their bloodline? It's literally none of your business unless the person wants to disclose that information.

Who cares if someone is Aroace. Doesn't mean you have to be butthurt about it. "Just say you're single". How about you can it and leave people alone?

Someone on Instagram posts about their experiences being an autistic person? "You're not autistic. You can talk and function." And you're not a doctor, nor autistic yourself, but here we are.

Just a few weeks or so ago (maybe a month idk), I had at least two people badgering me online about me not wanting to continue my bloodline, and saying "just donate sperm." Despite the fact that I mentioned I was female twice. It had started out as an "As an Aroace, this is an absolute win" comment on a YouTube poll. I had gotten a few innocent inquires, and I politely explained, only for them to turn more "aggressive". (A more accurate way to put it would be "insulting") They were full grown adults too. It makes me really concerned that a minor is more mature than a full grown adult who should've known better.

It's super concerning that I know how to respect people's boundaries more than full grown hecking adults. It's terrifying.

On another post, there was a girl talking about her story where her parents had signed her up for a Wilderness "Therapy" Camp. She was kidnapped, taken to said camp, str*p searched, forced to survive in freezing temperatures, her shoes were taken so she couldn't run, she was told she was only going to be there for 7-10 weeks; she was there for 13, she was taken to another location for 3 months, than taken to a third location for 9, and was only able to see her brother in person for four days.

At least 80% of the comments were downright disrespectful and disgusting. "Quit making yourself the victim." "You were probably sent there for a reason." Ect. It's disgusting, it's disrespectful, it's invalidating. Sometimes I'm not even sure why people saying that stuff think it's even a relatively ok thing to even bring up.

People need to learn to (excuse my language) shut the fuck up, get off their high horses, and and get the fuck over it. People are acting like entitled assholes, and it needs to stop. They need to stop thinking that the world revolves around them. Because guess what, it doesn't.

Even further is the r*pe culture stuff. "Were they wearing anything provocative?" "Were they drunk?" Ect. Shut up. They never said "yes" in a confident and clear mind, so keep your fudging hands to yourself. Just because someone is showing a little bit of their kneecaps does NOT give you permission to touch them, grope them, ect.

Why do people like this feel the need to say things like this? Why do people feel the need to be invalidating other people's experiences and traumas? Why do they feel like they have the authority to control another person's decisions and choices??

(and these are the same people who call the younger generations "snowflakes" for fighting for better work/life balances and better pay to accommodate for inflation)

Again, I'm sorry for the slightly more negative post. I just felt that this issue needs to be talked about somewhere.

[wingstobetorn]

Hunter and Tom for the character ask meme

Askgame link

Hunter

First impression: why does he sound gay (when watching hunting palismen: oh hey theres the pathetic white boy with trauma!.... he's actually kinda cute :) )

Impression now: the boy ever! he's just so... ackkkk, I can't even explain it? Thinking about him scratches a good part of my brain! He's the big brother figure ever. He made so many bad choices and mistakes but he did everything with good intentions. He's just so, so kind even with how he was treated and I love characters like that with all my heart! Favorite genre of characters ever.

Favorite moment: Dadrius headpat moment... When Willow told him he was important to her too and his not used to love ass started crying! Bitch me too! (Also a small moment but when he went “Byeeeeeeeee!”)

Idea for a story: every story / au idea of mine involves him and Luz being siblings and becoming absolutely unhinged the moment anyone hurts their sibling... Hmmm. I guess an au where Hunter, Vee and Luz all grew up together? It's just so cute! They should all be a Darwin, Gumball and Anais moment where they like blow up the town or something. I don't even know. They're cuties 👍

Unpopular opinion: I actually can't think of any

Favorite relationship: Oh! Definitely his relationships/dynamics with Luz, Eda, Darius and Camila! All of which are familial because found family is the best trope in existence. (I know he didn't interact much with Eda, but they are forever found family in my heart.)

Favorite headcanon: He likes children cartoons, is actually very affectionate with the people he trusts and loves, and he's autistic.

Tom

First impression: I don't remember

Impression now: Kim's blorbo and therefore my blorbo in law! He's a cool guy that deserved people from both Star and the show writers .... Also he loves bunnies! And his parents!

Favorite moment: “say I'm a good boyfriend!” or something like that

Idea for a story: I still have this au where he gets sent to Earth by his parents around the same time as Star does and when they see each other again it's like

Unpopular opinion: Star is the one that doesn't deserve him

Favorite relationship: Him and Marco! Platonically or romantically!

Favorite headcanon: he has violent intrusive thoughts :)

[manicinnerthoughts]

I realized today that a huge part of my issue is that I genuinely have no idea who I am. I don't think I ever really knew who I was. I adopted my brother's taste in music and my mother's love for art. The only thing I know for sure is that I am a black female with a shitload of trauma.

I didn't get to grow up with any black influences in my life. Never met my dad's side of the family, the only black figures in my life were my mom's countless boyfriends, and I went to all predominantly white schools.

I've always felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I remember when I was a kid I was constantly told I'm the whitest black girl they'd ever met. It didn't help that I was light-skinned, but that's not what they were referring to; they were referring to the fact that I didn't "act black".

We were too white for the very few black kids we knew but black enough for the white kids to ask us why we didn't live in the projects and the white churchgoers to ask us if we were adopted.

My mom used to think it was funny to say that she's blacker than we are because she grew up with all black people and went to predominantly black schools. Yet somehow didn't think it was important for her black children to experience anything other than whiteness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another thing I have realized recently is that nobody knows me outside of the basic information: my name, where I grew up, my favorite color, my hobbies, and my favorite animals. Even my IRL friends couldn't tell you anything about my life, any genuine knowledge about me.

I want people to know me, but my adult life and my childhood have been 90% trauma and I don't even know where to begin to explain this shit to anyone. I mean, I guess I kinda did that above; I'd like to say that the issues surrounding my ethnicity and identity sums up my childhood trauma, but that's not even the beginning.

I guess it really started by being repeatedly ripped away from my family. I had been in 5 RTFs, 2 respite homes, 2 foster homes, and 3 outpatient facilities by the time I was 17 (which is actually when I was diagnosed with autism). On top of that, we lived in 4 different homes before I graduated high school so I quite literally moved around my entire life.

Imagine being 5 years old and having just been removed from your household for the very first time. Now imagine going through that regularly throughout your childhood. That alone fucks kids up.

My entire life consisted of being the new girl; getting used to new rules, adjusting to new personalities, struggling to make friends; making friends then leaving them.

That's a lot of change for an undiagnosed autistic child (or even an NT child) to go through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life has been a majority of being abused and I genuinely have very few happy memories growing up. My mom has done a lot of fucked up things to me; she's called me racial slurs, thrown things at me, hit me, and even burned me, but none of that compares to the fact that she did nothing to protect me from her boyfriend (I'm assuming you understand where this is going. I don't want to go into detail) Instead of being a loving mother and breaking up with him to keep me safe she kicked me out a few months after I graduated.

That's how I left one abuser for another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had just graduated high school & moved directly into a homeless shelter for a little while. Before I got kicked out I started talking to a guy I went to school with and he said I could stay with him for a while. I was so happy to get out of there that I said yes and I moved in with him.

I stayed with him for 8 years and during those 8 years I was raped repeatedly, held hostage, beaten, and he tried to kill me twice (I know a lot of you are probably thinking you could've just left, but we lived in a third-story apartment and he quite literally imprisoned me. I am also epileptic so I didn't have a license and no family to stay with).

To this day I automatically assume everyone I meet is going to hurt me. My friends have hurt me, my mom has hurt me, the man who claimed he loved me has hurt me. I genuinely fear getting close to people now to the point I isolate myself in a room.

I have tried so hard to heal from all of the shit I have been through. I'm afraid I'm stuck hating myself and everyone around me and I have no clue how to change my view of myself and my view on the world around me.

I know this has probably jumped around a lot and for that I apologize. This has just been me manically writing about shit I struggle to cope with.

[shipcestuous]

So I thought I'd bring up a movie called Wyrm. Two movies, although one's a short film from 2017 and then a 2019 version which was a longer version of the same story (the sister is the same actress in both versions, I think everyone else is different but I'm not sure). The short film version I could find on dailymotion, but I finally was able to track down the full-length version so I could compare and write up a post. It's not canon, I should say that up front, but there are definite vibes and lines that either could be read that way or specifically address the idea (in the sense of 'other people might think that'). I'll be given fairly significant spoilers (but everything before the image is fairly basic plot stuff)

Wyrm is set in an alternate version of the 1990s, where--in America, at least--there's a program called No Child Left Alone, which requires students to complete a level-one sexuality requirement before high school - most usually kissing. Students wear collars that come off automatically when they complete the assignment (in the Full Length version, for high school, they're given a wristband monitor that ensures they don't go All The Way too early - those who fail and have intercourse before senior year are sent to vocational school).

Now, first, the basic premise (tweaked as necessary for the characters' universe and ages) is IMHO super good fodder for incest stories already. In fact, if you ignore some of the underlying plot I could--and did--picture the main characters as a slightly older Dipper and Mabel from Gravity Falls. Especially because it seems to have taken incest into account? This image comes from a brief shot of the handbook for the program Wyrm has:

It explicitly states 'Periodic instances of incest are fine.' But, presumably don't count for the collar, so the collar I guess won't unlock with a relative, which also seems like good fodder for an incest story.

Anyway, the movie follows an awkward boy unfortunately named Wyrm, who is the last one in his grade to still have his collar on (except for an autistic kid who's exempt). He has a twin sister, Myrcella, who just got hers off and is also pulling away in other ways, and wants him to move out of their shared room because she's 'becoming a woman now' although he's reluctant to make the change. The whole family is dysfunctional right now because Wyrm's older brother Dylan recently died and the family is not dealing with it well (this is subtle, almost background in the short film, with parents just not really appearing, but much more a focus in the long version).

Wyrm and Myrcella were once best friends but because of the recent trauma, and just growing up in general, are sometimes very mean to each other, but in the end it's clear in both versions of the movie that they deeply care about each other and, more than getting Wyrm's collar off, the story seems to be really them finding a way to be okay with each other again. His sister is kind of the catalyst for him getting his collar off--through helping Wyrm and her new friend kiss.

Among the points of twincest shippy interest, there's a line where Wyrm explains his name: it means dragon, and he was born with a hole in his heart and his parents thought it would make him stronger. Then, he reveals that they eventually patched it by taking a ventricle from his sister's heart - which means a hole in his heart that is literally filled by a piece of his sister. Another character suggests that people think he's weird because he doesn't WANT to move out of the same room his sister's in, and his sister at one points to tell him to go away because she's about to do her dance practice and "it's provocative" - implying she thinks he might be turned on. And there are several instances where it seems almost like the siblings are jealous of the others making advances in their romantic life. In the end, both characters are alone, romantically... except, of course, in my head where they're together. 

All in all, it's a quirky movie that might be worth a watch on its own merits, although if you're just in it for the shipping, the short film covers most of the good territory (the longer version adds a fraught mom/son storyline that might appeal to some - Wyrm's Mom's been 'away' since Dylan died, and he really wants her to return). But I thought because of the chemistry between the main twins, that one second flash of the handbook (appearing in both versions of the movie), and the premise's raw potential, it deserved a shoutout.

------

Thanks for this! I remember this coming up on the Discord, so I'm glad someone watched it and reported back about it.

I agree (based on what you said), there's enough funny little things in it to make you wonder about these two, and to make it a good rec.

I love that he wants to keep sharing a room with her and is reluctant to move out. The fact that they are both alone when the movie ends is even better.

And, like you said, it provides a great premise.

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

So this is a personal one for me to ask and if you're not comfortable with it don't mind it; how would the tmnt boys (seperate) react when the reader confesses that they're autistic after the boys got curious when she had some peculiar, behavior or stims. The reader would be stressed, because she has a crush on the tmnt boy in question and she didn't want them to find her weird or just stop interacting with her. When she's met with confusion instead, because the boys never heard of it, cue this weird conversation where reader tells them to the best of her ability what it is and the boys just keep asking questions. Also some general headcannons with it maybe?

Okay so I'm actually really happy that you asked me this because I feel like ASD isn't portrayed a lot in any type of media. My ADD and ASD have a lot of overlap so I hope I can capture what you're asking of me!

Now let's get into it!

TMNT Headcanons

The boys reacting to an autistic reader

Leonardo

he wasn't really sure what was happening the first time you reacted

one minute you were standing next to him doing dishes and the next you were attempting to claw your skin off like an angry cat

Leo tried not to look annoyed as he watched you rub your hands against your shirt until your flesh started to turn red

you looked like you were crying but he knew you weren't

but your face was starting to turn purple and your cheeks were puffy from the effort of holding your breath

"Y/N? You need to breathe."

You shot a glare at him, scathing eyes meeting his now very concerned expression

your own softened and you clutched your arms to your chest, heaving oxygen into your lungs until your face became a normal shade again

"Are you okay?"

The words were stuck in your throat and you weren't sure if you should nod or shake your head

so you gave him a half-hearted shrug

he frowned back at you but turned to finish the dishes on his own

when he questioned you about it later he couldn't help but be curious

"Well actually it's uh- it's kinda a sensory type of thing? There are certain textures that I can't stand touching do I avoid them but if I come into contact by accident my brain just kinda explodes and I shut down."

"How exactly does that work though?"

"I don't really understand it much but like- you know that feeling you get when you think there's a bug on you and there's not but it really really feels like it?"

He nodded

"Yeah, it feels like that. And anytime I touch something that triggers that reaction it takes FOREVER to get the feeling off my skin. That's why I usually wear gloves when I do dishes. Guess I just forgot to grab 'em today."

He was sympathetic

and god, you were so embarrassed

lucky for you, Leo's not an asshole

"Well thank you for explaining it to me, you really freaked me out earlier. I'll talk to April and see if we can keep a pair or two at the lair just in case you forget again."

Consider your heart melted

you couldn't even find the words to thank him and holy shit was your face red

"Hey y/n?"

"Yeah Leo?"

"Why didn't you ever tell me- us that you were autistic?"

Did you rip the band aid off now or make something up? Which would ,technically speaking, be less catastrophic in the long run?

"I uh- I really like you and I really didn't want you or the other's to look at me differently..."

wow, you liked him? miss ma'am you have saved this boy a world of anxiety and damn does he thank you for it

"Thanks for telling me... and y/n? I really like you to."

Awh fuck yeah, best possible execution of band aid-ripping-off ever

Donatello

Donnie wished he could act surprised when you finally told him

he really wanted to, it would've made you feel better for sure

but he sucked at lying and he didn't want to make you feel like he thought you were an idiot

because that was so far from the truth

after going through extensive research on Mikey's behalf when he suspected he had ADHD Donnie had stumbled across many different websites that discussed the symptoms and overlaps between both disorders

to make a long story short, Donnie knew that you had ASD and he was waiting for you to tell him

it would probably come off as rude if he brought it up in conversation right?

he didn't want to risk it

but that didn't stop him from keeping an eye on you and your behaviors

he was a man of science, of course he was going to analyze you

not in a weird way or anything, just as a curious sort of precaution

but the longer you were involved in the turtle's lives the more noticeable your stims and meltdowns got, Donnie did his best to cover for you without making you suspicious of him

eventually he'd come up with something that he hoped would come across as a friendly gesture and wouldn't set you off or scare you away

it was game night at the lair and you, as always, were perched on the arm of the sofa, a large grin plastered on your face

inside your head was exploding but you were masking it pretty well if you do say so yourself

but Donnie was, well... donnie was donnie

so when he noticed you starting to rock a little more visibly he removed his attention from commentating the game and grabbed a pair of headphones from the side table

you were beyond confused when he passed them to you but your face revealed everything

"They're noise cancelling, try them on."

holy shit it was like putting your head underwater, everything was muffled

not in the way normal headphones did, you quite literally couldn't hear anything at all, just a calm amount of nothing

you nearly started crying when you realized that Donnie had figured you out on his own

but you'd never been more relieved about anything in your life

Raphael

he wouldn't admit that he was mesmerized by your presence

you practically radiated calm

his complete opposite

it was his favorite thing about you, because despite your quiet disposition and calming aura you weren't afraid to call him out or rebut any of his insults

this was not something you expected him to appreciate nor was it something you thought would make you catch feelings

but damn if you didn't

he'd been sitting in on yours and Donnie's little experiment for an hour or so now, watching you both exchange quiet whispers and inside jokes that you always seemed to lag on

then you slipped up

not bad, nothing detrimental to the project, just the same mistake that you'd already made ten times over

you might as well have exploded

"Y'N, you just have to move thi-"

"I KNOW DONATELLO. I FUCKING KNOW AND I JUST CAN'T DO THIS BULLSHIT!"

you set everything down gently enough to avoid breaking it before turning and storming out of the lab, waving your hands like they were on fire

Raph and Donnie exchanged a look that sent the larger red turtle following after you

when you calmed yourself down enough to talk you kept your gaze locked on the wall, explaining that you couldn't make eye contact when you were upset

he might not be the smartest brother, but Raph's no dummy, he put those pieces together pretty quickly after you told him that one small detail

he wasn't upset that you didn't tell him and you'd personally never been more relieved

your heart nearly splattered into the stratosphere when you finally gace him your own explanation

"yeah, I like ya too."

you grinned so wide you were sure your face would split open and your entire body rocked side to side with excitement

he thought that was pretty adorable too

And he did stick around to offer a bit of support when you apologized to Donnie for screaming at him

Michaelangelo

to be frank it probably shouldn't have taken so long for Mikey to realize that you were autistic

the similarities between your own personality and his ADHD were so in sight it was near painful

it was his turn to make dinner that night and you'd made sure that you came over early to help him set up, you knew how side-tracked he'd get and you were the poster child for solid routine

what more perfect matchup existed?

trick question, there isn't one

you were on one side of the counter cutting vegetables and he was on the other throwing said vegetables into the mixing pot

the music was at an ungodly level of loud so your only means of communication were screaming over it

"MIKEY."

"WHA?"

"YOU GOT THE-"

"YEAH."

"AND THE-"

"UH HUH."

"COOL, HAVE YOU SEEN THE-"

"TONGS? NO, THE SKEWERS. YEAH, THEY'RE IN THE OTHER DRAWER."

"THANKS."

the two of you went about your previous tasks, thinking nothing of the conversation that had just taken place

at least until you'd begun washing your knife and cutting board

that's when Casey walked in, looking both perturbed and annoyed at the same time

"Alright, which one of you knows telepathy?"

Mikey exchanged a glance with you and you returned it with a raised eyebrow

"The hell you mean brah?"

he looked at the both of you like you were the ones that had grown four extra heads before speaking again

"You literally just had a conversation with like five words and somehow just knew what the other meant? What's up with that?"

you glanced at Mikey again

"Holy shit, did we?"

"I mean, not really. You used your hands."

now all three of you were confused but it quickly became two when Casey shook his head in defeat and left the room

"You know I think he's right."

he blinked first and your staring contest ended

"But you used your hands-"

"I got autism Mikey, one does not simply not use their hands as forms of speech."

"You're-"

"Yep."

was the silence laughing at you? could it do that? it was kinda rude

"Huh, that actually makes sense, that's not mean is it?"

you shook your head no

"You're just me but fast."

Mikey agreed with that, pestered you with a few more questions, and went back about working, as did you, you saw no reason to address it further

but your cheeks burned red

"Yo- Y/N that actually explains why everyone else thinks we're a thing."

you didn't know if you could choke on air or not but you did it anyways

"Are we?"

he gave you his signature grin

"If we are then Raph owes April a hundred bucks."

you returned his smile

"Oh this oughta be good."

I'd like to preface this by apologizing for my near three week absence. Life got crazy and my writer's block hopped on a train, went through a school zone, killed seven pedestrians, and committed tax fraud before tumbling off a cliff never to be seen again.

But on the bright side- I got my SAT scores back and started some scholarship applications. Super happy with that. School's out in a few weeks so I'll be able to write more (hopefully).

Anyways, I hope I got this one down okay. I may have hyper analyzed the request so I might be a little off. But I really enjoyed doing this one and I hope you like it!

-Mars 🌠

[mellometal]

Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.

I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.

Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.

I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.

ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:

This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)

LET'S FUCKING GET IT.

The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.

Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.

Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.

I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.

Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.

Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.

Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.

Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)

Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?

There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.

Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.

My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?

Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.

For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted

First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):

Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)

Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too. 

It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.

If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.

Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs): 

I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man. 

Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want. 

I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too. 

Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around. 

If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.

Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.

Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.

If you've read this far, thank you so much!

[divinecreation]

A mom who actually accepts me for who I am?? Unrealistic

[alantixa]

I'm just venting honestly don't even read this

Yo guess who got insulted the most they've ever been in their life today? Me! I met this psychiatrist today and whenever I tried to tell her about anything that I had experienced/that had happened, she would interrupt me and/or tell me that whatever experiences/feelings I had weren't real and that I didn't actually have the problems that do and basically treated me like I had never even met myself before. I wasn't telling her my deepest and most true feelings, and while completely ignoring the fact that this was the first time I had ever met her and also that my father was in the room, which makes me uncomfortable, which we told her, she goes on to tell me that there was no reason to even come if I wasn't going to tell her things. She further goes on to tell me that symptoms that I had (that I was not even seeking treatment for because I no longer have them and therefore didn't want to talk about) that I KNOW are not related to my anxiety are. After ten minutes, we convince her that the symptoms were not related to anxiety and then she tells me that I'm autistic (not that there's anything wrong with being autistic, but I am definitely not), not saying that I even MAY BE autistic, but that I AM autistic (remember, this is within the first half an hour of meeting her). She then insists that I'm autistic and just starts talking to my father, telling him symptoms of autism, which he is very much aware of since it runs on his side of my family and my brother has it, and he continues to tell her that those are not symptoms I have. He then tells her that I am self aware and that she should trust how I describe things and she says that she doesn't like to trust the patient to tell the truth because she thought I was avoiding a diagnosis (which I wasn't? Why would I go to her if I didn't want a diagnosis?). I tell her that and she basically tells me that I AM hiding from getting a diagnosis by not telling her about my true feelings (again first 45 mins of meeting her at this point) and then she talks for maybe 10 minutes about this test that is "rather unreliable" that she would use heavily to diagnose me, that basically tests things for autism (which I have, according to her). Finally she moves on to talk about my depression/dysthymia. She asks me about it and I tell her I have dysthymia, which she asks me to explain. While me and my past therapist kind of worked on figuring the whole thing out together, I used my own words and feelings to describe it and I did a kind of graph type thing. After she tells me how weird it was for a kid to use a graph and how it was the "weirdest" description method she has ever gotten from any of her clients, she continues to tell me that I don't have dysthymia and that I was fed those lines from my therapist. And then she talks about how I "definitely feel emotion physically" and how I need to learn what emotions are and face them actually and figure them out as if I am not a human with emotions, despite the reason for bouncing my foot was because my shoe was broken and it hurt to step down on it, she starts talking about how I need to try meditation. I tell her I've tried X Y Z and so on of breathing exercises/meditation things, she looks upset, and says that I couldn't have done meditation the RIGHT way then. And I start to tell her that I know there are many forms of meditations and how I use music as that sort of thing, she interrupts me and asks me if I have anything I'm particularly interested in in school and I say that it's more about the environment than the class, and that I do sing and play guitar outside of school as well. She again looks very confused and angry and says that I meant that I have a special interest in music and I respond and say not particularly, it's just something that helps me destress because i get in the zone and it helps me clear my head, and she says that that can't be right, it must be a special interest of mine if I do it recreationally and ughhhhhhh I really don't wanna tell the rest but fuck doctor fish she was so nasty to me

[blubushie]

JESUS, your dad got his head stuck between two boards? That must've been traumatizing, god, I can't imagine going through something like that! I get you're lenient with your blog but that needed a trigger warning or something! Give your father my deepest condolences... everything else is fine, though, I guess.

[Animal Fact Anon holy shit your dad is so cool, talk about a reputation like hello??? The fucking zebra shark?? 2x malaria?? Broken ribs and a collapsed lung???? Maybe 'cool' isn't the right word but ?!?!!]

Yeah he's a bit of a mad cunt and I'm cut from the same cloth. (Also he's glad you think he's cool—"At least someone does!")

Every bloke in the family is a little... off, really?

You've got:

• Me (I don't need to explain)

• Dad (don't need to explain)

• My younger brother who branded himself with the family cattle brand. I witnessed this when I was 12 because my brother is insane and decided his little brother with a medical special interest should witness and doctor his severe burn. He also lives in Texas. The branding thing has stuck with me enough that when I was a stockman and cattle were being branded I had to stay back because I couldn't watch it without getting queasy. Not cuz I felt bad or anything it's just that the smell of burnt hair and flesh brought back memories.

• My eldest brother who dances to Billie Jean at literally every fucking wedding he's been to for the past 30 years. Also he doesn't like me. His wife REALLY doesn't like me (she thinks I'm dangerous cuz I've taken the kids shooting). He just doesn't like me cuz our dad dumped his mum for mine and had me though, so I'm the kid who had it all (ignoring how the divorce left Dad in poverty so I also grew up in poverty WOOP)

• My maternal uncle who's an ARA antivax hippie vegan and hates me. Also he's gotten COVID more times than I can count so I avoid him like the literal plague. He gives me creepy vibes.

• My paternal uncle who, as a teenager, let his dog loose so it'd attack my aunt's dog just for an excuse to talk to her. Her dog damn near killed his dog. Then they started dating. His dog got a steak for being such a devoted wingman. This uncle also REALLY fucking hates lettuce and none of us know why but he will have an absoute meltdown if it touches food on his plate. No one, not even my aunt, has gotten an answer as to what the fuck's up with the lettuce thing.

• My youngest maternal cousin who was an alcoholic surfie who died of diabetes before he reached 25. He was convinced he'd die before he reached 25 but he literally drank and ate himself into an early grave knowing he couldn't be doing that shit with his diabetes. I have one memory of him showing me how to catch minnows with my bare hands, and I still use that trick for catching bait fish.

• My oldest maternal cousin who's a deadbeat dad and I hate him because he doesn't do right by his son or daughter. He's all they've got since their mum is institutionalised for mental issues. My aunt and uncle raise his kids while he lies on the couch smoking hooch all day (I really do NOT like him).

• My maternal second cousin who's nonverbal autistic, but both his deadbeat stoner dad and hippie antivax grandad refuse to get him tested. This boy suffers in school and my heart breaks for him. I had no idea what this kid looked like from 3-5 because he always wore an Iron Man mask all day every day, and he stopped speaking entirely around 6. He's now completely nonverbal and despite being about 13 years old he has the functionality of 6 year old. Last I saw him, he still tries to conversate with me when he sees me though, and he'll sit down and pet Misty and he knows I like talking so he'll pick from a few topics I write down for him and have me talk about them. He understands speech just fine, he just doesn't talk himself. And also really really really hates seatbelts so I knit him a seatbelt cover and now he uses them (turns out he just didn't like the raw edge of the belt). His little sister has some behavioural issues but she's genuinely a sweetheart and seems to be the only person who always knows what he's thinking, so she acts a mediator for him a lot.

• My paternal cousin everyone is convinced is either gay or autistic or a trans woman or all of the above. Him and I get on fine so I'm also on the bandwagon of That Boy Ain't Right cuz there's something in him I recognise, I just don't know what. Don't reckon he's a woman or gay though, and if there's anybody he'd come out to it's me cuz the family is conservative but he knows damn well I won't judge. I'm pretty sure he's just on the spectrum.

• My paternal nephew who's the only bloke what came out normal. He's going to uni in a few years and GOD do I hope he comes back normal. He's spoilt but he's a good kid.