#(had to look it up lol Corinthians 13:4-7)

[ranger-kellyn]

look. i don't care what anyone says, if you're someone who wants a partner, you deserve one that doesn't yell at you. you deserve a partner that doesn't make you walk on eggshells. you deserve a partner who you can have civil discussions with when disagreements come up. you deserve a partner who doesn't try to intimidate you in any way when they're mad. you deserve a partner who doesn't "keep score".

[pdjen]

first week of fieldwork

fieldwork started this past week! we’ve been serving at excel academy in the mornings and doing various campus outreach, teambuilding, and fellowship events in the evenings. some thoughts i’ve had, events that have happened, lessons i’ve learned in the meantime

1. excel academy (what is it?)

excel academy is essentially a combination of vacation bible school (VBS) and an english summer camp program. the students are mainly immigrant children from korea and japan or the children of immigrants from korea or japan. our CSMP team puts on a daily puppet show meant to be a fun way for the students to engage with Bible stories, children’s worship time, snack time, arts and crafts, and game times. we also help out with the times of english lessons/classroom activities, although these are mainly managed by other teachers and volunteers. excel is currently the main focus or our ministry here in ann arbor (or at least what we spend the most time on), between our time actually at excel and the various times we spend in the afternoons and the evenings preparing for what we’re going to do the next day.

2. tiredness

for those who don’t know, the typical rough schedule for a day looks like: (530am) shower, (620am) walk to tcenter for morning prayer, (630am) morning prayer, (700am) morning devos, (725am) breakfast, (745am) travel to excel academy, (800am) prepare for excel activities for the day, (830am) excel starts for the day, (1230pm) excel finishes, debrief for the day, (200pm) cook/eat lunch, (300pm) ministry prep for excel the next day, (500pm) cook/eat dinner, (700pm) outreach or lifegroup or prayer night, etc., (900pm) more ministry prep, (1200am) sleep. i’ve been struggling a lot to just stay awake and feel present for everything, and our team has been napping every chance we get (and some of the times we probably shouldn’t be). 

3. lsat

i got my lsat score back this week. i did decently well/okay, but i can’t say i wasn’t disappointed by how i did. even one or two points higher (e.g. one or two more questions right on the ~120 question test) and i probably could’ve been happy with the score but, unfortunately, as of right now my plan is to take the test again late september. i’m trying to focus on not getting dragged down with wishful thinking about what could’ve happened in the past or thinking about how long and tedious the study process will be. currently just trying not to think about it at all so that i can focus on CSMP and being present where i’m at right now

4. conflict

our team is currently struggling through a lot of different conflicts right now, especially with learning what it looks like to love and support each other in a meaningful way. (4a. ann arbor/austin) when our teams merged, there was also a merging of the cultures of our teams, and the end result ended up being much more like our original ann arbor culture in terms of being more loud and goofy rather than the austin culture of being more quiet and serious. along with the fact that our team of 20 is around 15 ann arbor people vs. 5 austin people, and some extenuating personal circumstances for many members of the austin as well as ann arbor teams, as members of the ann arbor team, there has been some struggle for some austin members to acclimate as well as struggle on our end to best learn how to best support specific members of the austin team. (4b. guy/girl) not to get too much into this, but overall there has been a definite dynamics issue between the guys and the girls on the team, with the guys being very loud and obnoxious at times, and the girls being a bit mean at times. i think in terms of the guys were trying to learn how to love even when it’s difficult and what it looks like to be patient and encouraging in all things, and you can ask the girls how they’re doing lol

5. directionless

i think it’s difficult to get a grasp on where i should be going in life or where i feel like i’m being called as i look forward to the post-CSMP future. at times it’s felt like God wants me to be really present here in ann arbor to stay and love on people in the church, at times those outside of the church, at times it’s felt like God wants me to leave, at times that God wants me to go home, at times to go to a new place, at times to pursue career callings, at times to pursue ministry, etc. not really sure where i should be going or what i should be pursuing and a lot of times right now it feels like nothing is really working super well or as intended in life and so i just feel generally unsure

6. lots of other things but in the interest of actually sending out an update each week and finishing this, i’ll call it here

prayer requests (with some verses to pray through):

1. loving team members even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard (1 corinthians 13, matthew 5:44-48, romans 5:6-8, 1 john 4:7-12)

2. greater team unity (ephesians 4:1-16)

please send me your prayer requests too! until next time

[schizophreniachronicles-blog]

The road i have taken

PRACTICAL STEPS TO TAKE ( THE ROAD TO RECOVERY FROM SCHIZOPHRENIA) BY HOMINE SIMPLICE

10.7.18 (6:40AM-8:15 AM) 1) FIND THE ROOTCAUSE:     A) - IS IT DRUG RELATED?           - USE OF MARIJUANA/SHABU/COCAINE/HASH HISH/WEED/MIND ALTERING             DRUGS          - STOP TAKING IT/DETOXIFY          - SEEK DRUG REHABILITATION AND MEDICATION FROM A PSYCHIATRIC            INSTITUTION.          - WILL TRIGGER VOICES/VISIONS/HALLUCINATIONS     B) IS IT BECAUSE OF UNREPENTED AND TOO MUCH SIN? (ONLY IF YOU BELIEVE        IN GOD)        DEUTERONOMY 28: 28-29/DEUTERONOMY 28:45        1 CORINTHIANS 3:15-20/ 1 CORINTHIANS 6:12-20        JAMES 5:13-15       - CONFESS TO GOD DIRECTLY(CHRISTIANS)/ OR A PRIEST(ROMAN CATHOLIC)         ALL YOUR KNOWN SINS FROM THE TIME IN CHILDHOOD WHEN YOU         LEARNED WHAT IS GOOD AND EVIL, UNTIL THE PRESENT TIMES.       -SEEK RELIGIUOS INTERVENTION       - PRAY OVER AND ANOINTING OF THE SICK BY ELDERS OF THE CHURCH  C) IF YOU THINK IT IS AN ATTACK OF THE EVIL SPIRITS OR THE DEVIL( NOT       FALLING UNDER CATEGORY A/B/D/E/F).      - SEEK AN EXORCIST      - READ THE BOOK OF TOBIT IN THE BIBLE(VIA INTERNET/GOOGLE IT!)        ( SALTED FISH HEART AND LIVER AND INCENSE PUT OVER COALS, THE SMOKE        WILL DRIVE AWAY THE EVIL SPIRITS AND WILL NOT COME BACK/TOBIT 6:8) D) IF IT IS CAUSED BY THE ENVIRONMENT?     - ABUSIVE AND AGGRESSIVE PARENTS     - MOLESTATION( SEXUAL AND VERBAL ABUSE)     - PLACES THAT ARE NOT PEACEFUL AND CONDUCIVE TO LIVING(NO PEACE OF       MIND).    - SQUATTER AREA    - TOO MUCH POVERTY    - SO MANY FAILURES AND DISAPPOINTMENTS IN LIFE(EMOTIONAL TURMOILS)    -HAUNTED PLACES    SOLUTION: AVOID TOXIC PEOPLE AND GET OUT OF THE ENVIRONMENT FAST!

E) CAUSED BY INFECTION OF THE WOMB  OF THE MOTHER DURING PREGNANCY?     - TREAT IT MEDICALLY F) SAD EVENTS IN LIFE THAT TRIGGERED SCHIZOPHRENIA:   - DEATH OF A FAMILY MEMBER OR LOVED ONE   - LOSS OF A JOB   - BEING BANKRUPT   -BEING HEARTBROKEN   - NO PEOPLE TO TALK TO OR VENT OUT   - FEELING ISOLATED   - NO SUPPORT SYSTEM   - FEELING OF LIFE HAS NO MEANING   - IT IS A DEADEND/I WANTED TO GIVE UP   - EVERYTHING IS WORTHLESS   -BOTTLED EMOTIONS   - FEELING LOW   - TOO MUCH FRUSTRATIONS AND TRIALS IN LIFE   - FEELING SUICIDAL/TO HURT SOMEBODY OR SELF SOLUTION: IF YOU CANNOT SLEEP WELL FOR MORE THAN 5 DAYS, SEEK MEDICAL                     HELP FROM  A PSYCHIATRIST. PRESCRIPTION FO RIVOTRIL MIGHT BE                     NEEDED. ASK YOUR DOCTOR FOR SLEEPING PILLS.                     EACH PERSON HAS A UNIQUE  PAIN AND FRUSTRATION LEVEL HE OR                     SHE CAN ENDURE. CASE TO CASE BASIS. SOME ARE ONION SKINNED.                     - IT IS SAID IN THE ENCYCLOPEDIA THAT HAVING NO SLEEP FOR 5                       DAYS WILL MAKE YOU MAD AND IRRITABLE.( SEARCH THE INTERNET                       FOR TRUTH ABOUT THIS). G) GENETICS- YOU GET IT FROM YOUR GENES, PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS ,                         RELATIVES. 2) SEEK MEDICAL HELP FROM A PSYCHIATRIST WHO HAD 20-40 YEARS OF    EXPERIENCE. THE OLDER THE BETTER. SINCE MEDICATION IS BY TRIAL AND    ERROR, AN EXPERIENCED PSYCHIATRIST CAN MAKE A SIGNIFICANT DIAGNOSIS    AND A WIDER KNOWLEDGE OF THE RANGE OF MEDICATIONS TO TRY ON THE    PATIENTS. 3) RELY ON GOD FOR HIS MERCY   - READ AND BE KNOWLEDGEABLE UP TO WHAT YOU CAN COMPREHEND ONLY.      YOU COULD NOT MASTER EVERYTHING IN A LIFETIME. DO NOT DWELL ON      MYSTICISM AND NEW AGE STUDIES( ACCORDING FR GABRIEL AMORTH, CHIEF      EXORCIST OF THE VATICAN) OR HIGH FALLUTING WISDOM.   - “A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE IS A DANGEROUS THING. SO IS A LOT”- ALBERT       EINSTEIN   - MEDICATION TAKES TIME TO TAKE EFFECT( 12-18 YEARS IN MY CASE)   - TRY TO SLEEP 8 HOURS A DAY.   - NOT TOO MUCH TV. WATCH NEWS ONLY, AND INTERESTING NEWS ABOUT        MEDICAL BREAKTRHOUGHS/ENCOURAGING TOPICS IN BOOKS/SELF      DEVELOPMENT/LISTEN TO GOOD MUSIC( CLASSICAL AND RELAXATION MUSIC)  - YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE TO SIMPLE AND CLEAN LIVING - NO DRUGS/NO WINE /NO WOMEN FROM THE SONG IN THE 80”S TURNING    JAPANESA( LOL)

- BE PASSIONATE FOR HOBBIES - READ “DESIDERATA” POEM, YOU WILL GET AN INSIGHT WHY IT WAS TOP OF THE  CHARTS IN 1970. - SHARE YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCES TO OTHERS SUCH THAT OTHERS MAY LEARN FROM YOU AND LEAVE A LEGACY. SUCH THAT OTHERS WILL NOT COMMIT THE SAME MISTAKES IN LIFE. - PRAY DAILY(THANK HIM FOR THE DAILY BLESSINGS/ASK FOR DAILY FORGIVENESS OF SINS/ ASK FOR DAILY REQUESTS FOR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES). - GET WISDOM FROM READING THE BIBLE( EX PROVERBS/PSALM/ECCLESIASTES/SIRACH/PSALM 23/PSALM 3(UPON WAKING UP)/PSALM 4( BEFORE SLEEPING)/PSALM 15/PSALM 91. - LEARN TO MINGLE WITH THE LOWLY AND SIMPLE PERSONS, SOME OF THEM HAVE GREAT LIFE EXPERIENCES AND KNOWLEDGE, THOUGH UNEDUCATED. BUT YOU HAVE TO FILTER OUT THE TRUTH BY COMPARING WITH FACTS AND FIGURES(IN THE INTERNET). YOU SHOULD ALWAYS MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON DATA THAT YOU GATHERED. DO NOT JUMP THE GUN OR DO BY INSTINCT ONLY. - IT IS A TRIAL BY FIRE, SO BE STRONG AND COURAGIOUS!

4) WHAT THE PATIENT  CAN DO: - LEARN TO LISTEN WELL - DO WHAT IS RIGHT EVEN IF THERE IS NO ONE WATCHING! - ONLY GOD KNOWS OUR FUTURE!

-GOD IS GOOD BOTH TO THE EVIL AND THE GOOD. -SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND THE CURE

-PUT ORDER INTO YOUR LIFE AND HELP OTHERS

- HAVE AN OPEN EAR TO THOSE PEOPLE YOU LOVE - SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WITH WISDOM AND GODLY PEOPLE   AVOID FALSE PROPHETS AND WOLVES IN SHEEP CLOTHING. AVOID TOXIC   PEOPLE! - ADMIT THAT YOU ARE SICK. ALL OF US, EVEN NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE SOME  KIND OF MADNESS AND INDIOSYNCRACIES. - IT TAKES A LOT OF MONEY AND TIME TO BE TREATED, LOOK FOR CHEAPER AND EFFECTIVE ALTERNATIVES. SEARCH THE INTERNET LIKE AN EAGLE! - GOD SAYS LEARN FORM THE ANT, THEY ARE UNEDUCATED BUT FALLS IN LINE, THEY HARVEST AND LOOK FOR FOOD DURING THE DRY SEASON AND WHEN IT RAINS, IT STAYS ON THE MOUND TO EAT THEIR FOOD. LEARN FORM THEM. 5) BONUS:   - WHAT CAN A SCHIZOPHRENIC COULD POSSIBLY EXPERIENCE: ( THAT OTHERS      WHO ARE NORMAL PEOPLE COULD NOT FEEL OR SEE/ IT IS THE BRAIN THAT      RUN AMUCK/RUNAWAY/ THE BRAIN OVERPOWERS YOUR 5 COMMON      SENSES).      THE BRAIN SENDING MESSAGES TO THE EAR, HEARING VOICES OF MALE OR      FEMALE CURSING YOU. THERE ARE THREATS AND LETTING YOU DO EVIL AND      BAD THINGS.   - THOUGHT BROADCASTING. YOU WILL THINK THAT ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ARE     TRANSMITTED IN THE AIR, SO EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE THINKING.     YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT. AND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOU.     SOMEBODY HAS PLANTED SOME KIND OF A TRANSMITTER IN YOUR HEAD.  - YOU THINK THAT ALIENS HAVE OVERPOWERED YOU AND OR SOME NEW     WORLD ORDER OR HIGHER BEINGS/SPIRITS CONTROL OVER YOU.  - YOU SMELL DIFFERENT ODORS LIKE DUNG OR POOP/EXCRETIONS/PERFUMES    FLOWERS ETC. THAT OTHERS COULD NOT SENSE. - YOU EXPERIENCE A HAIR RAISING AND BLOOD CURDLING VISIONS EXAMPLE SEEING THE DEVIL AND HIS COHORTS. POINTING AT YOU. - YOU THINK THAT OTHERS ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU, AND WOULD LIKE TO HARM YOU. PERSECUTORY THOUGHTS. - YOU THINK YOU ARE COMMUNICATING TO CHARACTERS IN THE TV OR CPHONE - YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE SOME SPECIAL POWERS DELEGATED ONLY TO YOU, LIKE SAVING THE WHOLE WORLD OR YOU ARE OF GREAT IMPORTANCE( ROYAL BLOOD)/ YOU ARE A KING OR SOMEBODY LIKE SUPERMAN WITH SPECIAL FUNCTIONS ONLY DELEGATED TO YOU BY A SUPERNATURAL FORCE. - YOU BELIEVE IN THE DEVIL /EVIL SPIRITS TOO MUCH ,THAT IT CAN OVERPOWER YOU AND LORD OVER YOU( READ THE BOOK OF JOB IN THE BIBLE. THE DEVIL HAS POWERS ON YOU .ONLY IF HE HAS BEEN GRANTED PERMISSION BY GOD. TO TRY YOUR FAITH) -TALKING EYES, JUST BY LOOKING AT THE EYES OF PERSONS, YOU CAN READ THEIR MINDS JUST LIKE READING LIPS. - YOU FEEL THOUSAND OF NEEDLES PRICKING THE WHOLE OF YOUR BODY. - RAZOR SHARP BLADES SLASHING YOUR FACE AND BLOOD OOZING BUT YOU CANNOT AND OTHERS SEE THE BLOOD BUT YOU CAN FEEL IT. - YOU THINK YOU HAVE TELEKINESIS. - ACID BEING POURED ON YOUR PATE, YOU FEEL YOUR BRAINS BURNING AND  DISSOLVING, YOU SMELL THE FLESH  AND HAIR BURNING. IT HURTS BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING. - YOU FEEL METAL NAILS BEING PLANTED IN YOUR BRAIN. - YOU THINK YOU HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF HIDDEN TREASURES/WEALTH ETC THAT  IS WHY YOU KEEP ON COMPUTING AND SKETCHING. - YOU HAVE SEEN A LOT OF HORROR MOVIES, IT IS NOW BECOMING A REALITY  TO YOU. SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH THE SUCCUBUS OR INCUBUS -ETC. PLEASE ASK ANYONE WHO HAS SURVIVED THE ORDEAL, AND HE/SHE WILL TELL YOU HOW HORRIBLE IT WOULD BE.

MATTHEW:7:7-8: Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!

[tsunamirains]

Rambles, Part 19

I forgot about this series lol 😅

1) Hearing people eat is not therapeutic to me!!!! That’s bothersome as fuck! I don’t get a sensory overload or anything, it just sounds nasty.

I had two coworkers who smack (full blown mouth open) when they ate and it was the most annoying thing ever.

2) I’m helping this little boy (he’s a senior in college, just younger than me) with some paper and it made me realize I am going back to that little girl I was in college.

HELL NAH!!!! I am not doing this again!!! He serves good dick and I need to leave it at that!!!!

3) I really want some titties so they can sit up in some dresses or shirts. My ass still fat so that looks good. Though I realized the reason I don’t think my ass is fat is because I don’t have a waist to hip ratio that I would like. I think I would be okay with a 24-27 inch waist with the hip measurements I have now. I just have to be satisfied with my A cups.

4) I had to get some fillings today and my insurance goes out of the 30th so I had them do them all today. My whole mouth was so numb lol. Almost as funny as when I went under to get teeth pulled for my braces.

Shit cost me $200+ though, but my insurance paid a lot! It was almost $2k.

5) My mom has been splurging on some stuff for house renovations and I realized I got everything I could want, as far as small materials. Like I have my camera, my Macbook, and my mom bought me some Bose headphone...I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THEM!!!!

I have a credit card that I am taking care of that pays for my little monthly subscriptions. My car is paid off. I live rent free.

5.5) But I still feel I’m missing stuff. I still have yet to be in a real relationship (not situationships).

I still have yet to get my own place and actually support myself. I am grateful for my parents, but I want some self control.

6) Speaking of relationships, a friend of mine is always reading me for filth lol. They always do!!! But the more I speak to them, the more I appreciate them really just trying to be my friend. They’re always explaining that things don’t happen like the movies. They don’t happen within a week or a month. They take so much longer. And the more they talk to me about it, the more beautiful it is.

But I do realize I get super paranoid around them and nothing bad has happened yet. I don’t feel it in my gut or anything, I start imagining things start happening. I’m thinking it’s because I keep thinking there’s something wrong with feeling the way I feel about them, but I don’t know.

I ended up crying to them about how I’m sorry I’m not right for them 😹😹😹 All they did was comfort me. We got super high that night. Or at least I was super high lol

7) It’s always great to talk and see them. They pointed out they see how I seem like I’m more confident. I’m stripping away my censorship. It’s just really nice to have someone notice things that have changed that I may still not recognize. This person speaks my love language and it’s so nice!

The bible verse: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13 4-7 always makes me think of them.

Even if it’s not a romantic love, it’s beautiful to see someone curious about my past, my wants and desires, my thoughts and opinions, to NOT use against me or judge me. They said once that they were never trying to play me, but empower me and I felt that lol  😹

8) I’ll be honest, I was fuckin high that I don’t remember a lot of the conversation, but it was good and fun.

9) I have all the things (except one) to start up my YouTube again. I just need an editing program again. I can also start a vlog. Every time I bring it up, people always ask me what will it be about  😅 I don’t know yet lol

Though I had an idea years ago called “Take a journey with me” and it was when I started going natural and hair tutorials were huge. The concept was to have an activity that people would watch how I progressed with it. Hair, weight, Youtube, any journey; they would watch my ups and downs with it.

[thewalkingoreo]

this is punishment for my wrongs i know it and there are plenty. even if i wanted to push myself to do anything it'll be sub par and i won't leave the uni with the grade i should get. Did i mention that I have a dissertation to do?!This is my final year and It's the middle of march and all i have to show is a paragraph. I haven't gone to see my supervisor once. They probably assume i'm not on campus because i didn't pass last year. All this chaos and i care not one bit, let me just die

My darling, reading this my heart breaks for you because I read it and I read the incredible amount of pain that you’re in. I can’t promise you that I have all the answers because I don’t-on my own I’m unqualified. But I pray as I share with you the little I know, the Holy Spirit speaks to you and gives you PEACE that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7) as we’ve been promised.

You know what I know and am so SO sure of? God deals in brokenness. He is a God who sees His daughter broken and tells you “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He saves those whose spirits have been crushed” (Psalms 34:18). That’s who He is. A Father of restoration, of grace, of mercy of HEALING. All undeserved, all perfect… there is WHOLENESS in Him. Listen to ‘Pieces’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrpI4oDRFjw). There are so many examples of people who had messed up like HUGE mess ups-David committed adultery. Dude, he had his potential mistress’ husband killed so he could be with her! Rahab was a prostitute, and from her lineage He brought Jesus. Jesus CHILLED with the most ‘messed up’ people on the regs-criminals, those looked down on those in society… And it was all with genuine love.

God wants to love on you. He’s ready to embrace you. So so ready. Concerning uni, there is nothing He cannot do. Know that whatever the outcome, whatever the situation, He works everything-EVERYTHING- for our good. Romans 8:28 says “We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love Him..”. He is so intentional about you-YOU! (another song-by Travis Greene) His daughter, His princess, His beloved. He sees you and hears you. He sees you for who you are in Him. He sees you and sees beauty. He doesn’t see us how we see ourselves-you belong to Him and that’s it. He’s designed your life from before you were born (Jeremiah 29:11, Psalms 139:13). Please, please, no more of these negative words on your life and yourself. That is NOT what God sees you as, His daughter. Please please speak LIFE into yourself. Speak His promises upon your life. Slowly, daily.

God is a loving God of restoration. Isaiah 43:18-19 says “Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don’t you see it? I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land”. Leave the past in the past and PREPARE yourself for what God is about to do. I know, it is not easy. It doesn’t just happen like that! But allow yourself accept the healing. Open yourself to it.

The God Im growing to know is most definitely is not a God of punishment. We’ve all messed up-in Romans it says “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God“ but thats the beautiful thing-God isnt asking us to be perfect. That’s what GRACE is. When you’ve asked God for forgiveness, it’s gone. GAWN girl. Psalms 103:12 says “He’s taken our sins away from us as far as the east is from the west”. Isaiah 1:18 says “‘Come now, let us settle the matter’ says the Lord. ’Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool’” and He means it!

The enemy is the accuser of all. He is working so, so hard to steal your joy. But Jesus is with you to give you LIFE and give it to you fully. (John 10:10) I know these are scriptures on scriptures, but they’re for real. They are our go-to. Do you think the enemy was happy about the slivers of hope and times of motivation you had?! NO! Because he is here to cancel out any hope. JESUS is your hope and I know you know that, deep down. I know. YOU don’t have to work hard to get back on track. Cast your cares-leave them to Him. He says in Matthew 11:28-30 (this is a bit of a long one lol) “Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings, and learn from me because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find *rest* for your lives. The burden that i ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light”. And you don’t have to feel bad, allowing the enemy fill your mind with thoughts of guilt/shame if you fall off. We have access to His throne, to receive mercy.

Have you ever heard of the parable of the prodigal son? God is standing, His arms wide open, the HUGEST smile on His face waiting to accept you. He misses you. He loves you with the WILDEST love you could ever, ever imagine. He’s ready, excited to restore you. Isaiah 61:1-3 speaks on the beautiful exchange. The amazing restoration He has to offer. Verse 2-3 says ”…He has sent me to comfort all those who are sad and help the sorrowing people of Jerusalem. I will give them a crown to replace their ashes, and the oil of gladness to replace their sorrow, and clothes of praise to replace their spirit of sadness…”

He created you for a purpose so my darling, I urge you from a place so deep in my heart, don’t listen to these lies the enemy is telling you. Don’t listen. I have been there, I have. I’ve been in that place where its just like ‘but whats the point?!’ and it’s very VERY difficult but I want you to fight because it’s worth it. The enemy is so serious about wanting to end us, discourage us before we have the chance to see the GLORY and INCREDIBLE mysteries God has planned for your life. This, right now, is not your destiny. This is a part of your journey my beautiful girl. You have to fight. Not on your own, because you’re not alone. God loves you and will never, ever leave you. He will NEVER give up on you. He will give you the power. He will give you the motivation, the strength.

Start small, surround yourself with worship music. I have playlists, if you would like recommendations. Even just begin by listening to these two songs I’ve recommended and go on from there. Listen to the words, because they are life and THE TRUTH your mind should be filled with and will be by His grace. Speak the WORD into your situation-get MAD at the enemy!! I didn’t tell you to rage oo, lmao but I feel like you’re coming to a place where you’re tired of being tired. And that is when God steps in-when we’ve come to the end of ourselves. As a negative, evil thought comes say no-2 Corinthians 10:5 says “we capture every thought and make it give up and obey to Christ”. I’m not quoting scriptures to seem all holy but to encourage you and show you that JESUS KNOWS. Everything, every single thing we’re dealing with is in the Word.

I love you, and from today I am praying for you daily by the grace of God. God loves you way way WAYYY more-it’s indescribable. You feel hopeless? He is your hope (Psalms 62:5). Psalms 39:7 also says “Therefore, what is my hope, if not in you alone, Lord Jehovah?” I appreciate you reaching out, because that’s not easy. And please, please feel free to reach out as much as you’d like! If you feel comfortable, you could email me on karinakarunwi@gmail.com so we can talk even more.

God will take care of it all. University, your future, your pain, healing from the break-up. He will restore. He works every single thing out for your good. How? We don’t know. But that’s where faith comes in. You may not see or understand tomorrow, next week, next year even… but hold on. He knows YOU and your desires and has a plan.

Please listen to the words of those songs (“Pieces-Steffany Gretzinger” and “Intentional-Travis Greene”). They’re pressing on my heart for you. Also, darling, have you ever considered counselling? If you feel like reaching out again, we could talk and pray more on that.

I love you so so so much, Anon. God loves you even more. It’s not by coincidence He led you message me. The Holy Spirit will be with you, each and every day, hour, minute, second. Reach out, I’m ready to listen and for us to talk more if you would like. Most importantly, I will be praying. And anyone else if you’ve read this, please pray. Let’s come together to lift us this beautiful lady-our sister. Comment any encouragement the Lord has laid on your heart. Any scriptures, words, anything. Our beautiful Father will be with you, Anon

[betwixt-words-and-worlds-blog]

Written January 14, 2017

By Jonathan Meza

“What are your thoughts on marriage?”

I was actually asked this a few days before the start of the New Year.

“You mean, in general? Because that’s a pretty broad question.”

It IS a pretty broad question, but I actually already had an answer that I had formulating and keep revising as time passes. I mean, I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, especially since, at my age, you get asked that a lot, ha ha. (Seriously, since moving to southern California for work after graduating college, I’ve been told to consider marriage so many times that it’s a bit unnerving. Like, chill, y’all! It’ll happen when it happens :P)

(As a quick side note: any of you single folk ever have to give an exposition for church on the topic of marriage even though you’ve never been married? Because I had to do that very often; I started taking prayers at 13 and, because I don’t come from a congregation with a lot of members, I usually took more than one prayer every month by the time I was older. The only reason I mention this is because I’ve always wondered what the married church members thought about me talking about marriage, having never had experienced it myself. Just an interesting thought, ha ha.)

When I think about the topic of marriage, one of the first Biblical citations that come to mind is the following:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NKJV)

Two are better than one,

Because they have a good reward for their labor.

For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls,

For he has no one to help him up.

Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;

But how can one be warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.

And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

It’s understandable why such a verse would be used to describe aspects of marriage: the juxtaposition of the benefits of two people versus one highlights how marriage can bring about mutual security and assistance. But what stands out at me in this verse is not that; no, actually, what caught my attention most in these few verses is probably the least acknowledged and most (seemingly) uninteresting sentence:

And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Amid these references to “one”s and “two”s, we get a “three” reference. Now, you’re probably wondering: why does that matter? Well, it matters because then my next part wouldn’t make nearly as much sense lol. Bear with me a little bit!

When people think of marriage, they like to think of the idea of love. And when they think of Christian love and marriage, they usually refer to one of the most widely cited Biblical references of what the concept of love is: 1 Corinthians 13. (Seriously though, all of you people who plan to get married: get a bit more creative on y’all’s wedding invites! The Bible has more verses to choose from, y’know? :P)

The Apostle Paul, author of both letters to the early church members of Corinth, is usually given the appellation of “the Apostle of Love” precisely because of this chapter. I mean, just look at what he says:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)

Love suffers long and is kind;

love does not envy;

love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Very lofty and beautiful ideals of what love is and should be, indeed! But, again, there is a part of this ubiquitous chapter that most people seem to overlook: at the end of this chapter of love, the Apostle Paul mentions that, in the end, three virtues will remain:

1 Corinthians 13:13 (NKJV)

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three;

But the greatest of these is love.

Remember what I said earlier about the verse in Ecclesiastes making a reference to “a threefold cord”? Here’s where that comes into play. (See? I promise I can make sense!)

Most people architect the foundation of marriage to be love, solely and exclusively. But I disagree slightly; I believe a truly well-built foundation for marriage is those three virtues that the Apostle Paul mentions, with love definitely being the greatest. I’ll go over what I believe each one of these things entails and how they work together.

Hope-

Firstly in God and then in your partner and your marriage as well. Having a feeling of trust is important for any relationship (romantic or platonic) to flourish into something more stable and concrete; that is why hope, a foresight of what is yet to come, is important. Mind you, having foresight or an idea of a future together is not enough for a stable marriage foundation; there are plenty of things that can be dreamed or imagined, but won’t necessarily come to fruition just by foresight alone. That brings me to the second virtue:

Faith-

The Apostolic letter to the Hebrews describes the nature in which these two virtues complement one another and are necessarily bound to one another:

Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,

the evidence of things not seen.

If hope is foresight, faith is a foretaste; faith provides sustenance and feeds our ambition for the future. That is why faith is a keystone in the foundation of marriage; faith in your partner, in who they are, in what they stand for, in the potential of what they can be, sustains us for the long-run. Ever stop to consider the hymn that the church sings to honor those aspiring to marry?

142 - Dios bendiga las almas unidas

-2-

Que los dos que al altar se aproximan

A jurarse su fe mutuamente,

Busquen siempre de Dios en la fuente

El secreto de dicha inmortal.

As you can see, we acknowledge the fact that by drawing close to the wedding alter to bind themselves in matrimony they are in fact vowing their mutual faith to one another, not love! That is because there must be a firm conviction that these two souls truly want to be together. But, don’t disregard the final virtue just yet:

Love-

Of these three beautiful virtues, the Apostle Paul names love the greatest among them. And with good reason! The aforementioned chapter in the letter to the Corinthians about the concept of love captures the nuances and entailments of how love should be practiced. Followed in this way, love can be God’s active force to work miracles in this world; acts of compassion and kindness towards our fellow human (in this case, our significant other) find their source in this deep fountain known as love.

Hope provides the goal, faith provides the map, and loves acts as the guiding compass to help us reach our destination. These three, joined and bound to one another, form a threefold cord that shall not be easily broken; a fortified bond that’ll keep two souls tightly together and not give way to the strains of life.

I guess that’s why they call getting married “tying the knot”!

Closing thoughts: so, that’s more or less my take on marriage. It’s very lofty, but I’ve always been a romantic; I like the view from having my head up in the clouds, ha ha. Maybe my perspective will change (hopefully for the better) when I actually get married. When will that be? Only God knows. I’m just going to roll with the punches.

[thatjwguy]

Spiritism And The World Around Us     

  Disclaimer: Like before, this is in no way officially tied to the JW (Jehovah’s Witness) organization besides the articles i may share, i do these as a way of exposing the false spirit of the world and how it deceives the masses. Along with just general educational purposes, if you wanna call it that, alternative research material is what i tend to call it. Keep on the watch tho, many people are out there trying to mislead and distract people from what the truth really is. Agape!

 Deuteronomy 18:10-13                    

10. “There should not be found in you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, anyone who employs divination, anyone practicing magic, anyone who looks for omens, a sorcerer 11. anyone binding others with a spell, anyone who consults a spirit medium or a fortune-teller, or anyone who inquires of the dead 12. For whoever does these things is detestable to Jehovah, and on account of these detestable practices Jehovah your God is driving them away from before you.”

This could be added to one of my previous posts, since its essentially going through most of what i had talked about. I have left this picture linked to the article so all you gotta do is click on it to go to the page. I feel i have already done this topic to death, as well as the others online and offline. Anyone with common sense and a basic bible understanding should already understand these concepts, now im not sure how seriously they take the media they watch but i feel now its about as obvious as a person shouting in you face, so i feel its just more like they just dont WANT to believe it, or simply dont care.

Joshua 1:8

This book of the Law should not depart from your mouth, and you must read it in an undertone day and night, in order to observe carefully all that is written in it; for then your way will be successful and then you will act wisely.

Romans 9:20

But who are you, O man, to be answering back to God? Does the thing molded say to its molder: “Why did you make me this way?

This is unfortunate, for many reasons but for the sake of this post im going to go into only one. Lets talk about the influence of this media we watch, the people who we let into our lives, informally maybe but still nevertheless a part of your life in some way. These personalities rub off on you, would you not agree? I mean, we dont really think about this when we are viewing something or playing something in a video game. We detach ourselves from it, we see it just as entertainment and nothing more, but is that really the case? Is it really harmless to watch graphic images in horror movies or pornography?

Amos 5:15

Hate what is bad, and love what is good, Let justice prevail in the city gate. It may be that Jehovah the God of armies Will show favor to the remaining ones of Joseph.

2 Corinthians 11:14

And no wonder, for Satan himself keeps disguising himself as an angel of light.

Proverbs 22:3

 3 

 The shrewd one sees the danger and conceals himself, But the inexperienced keep right on going and suffer the

consequences

.

I know i know, this is touchy stuff, when you go into subjects like these you gotta step lightly. Lets focus on the impact that it can have on your overall thinking patterns, the way you are wired. From birth, we are a clean slate, so throughout our lives we are constantly learning from the environment in which we live, our parents and those who we spend our time with will greatly impact our personality. Not always in a good way either, take for example, your best friend perhaps. Maybe you two hit it off like two peas in a pod, but i bet one of you might be more of a bad influence on the other, kinda like brother and sister relationships sometimes, one might be a little more rebellious then the others.

Acts 14:2

But the Jews who did not believe stirred up and wrongly influenced the people of the nations against the brothers.

1 Corinthians 12:2

You know that when you were people of the nations, you were influenced and led astray to those voiceless idols, following wherever they might lead you.

This is a good scene, movie called  Double Indemnity  which has a detective going against his morals, being seduced by a vixen.

Might not be too bad but you might find yourself starting to take after them after awhile, not even knowing it usually. I should know, i have had my fair share of bad influences growing up, informally or formally. I have since separated from most of that scene, but still have some stuff to clear up. Anyway, the main point here, is we are all impacted by those around us, the world around us as a whole. So, with media, dont you feel that it would have the same effect? This is where common sense should kick in. Keep in mind, i love all forms of media (aside from the obvious garbage that goes against bible standards) for different reasons, so this in no way is an attack on media. Just to clear that up.

     Jeremiah 17:9                    

9The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?

    Proverbs 28:26                    

26 Whoever trusts in his own heart is stupid, But the one who walks in wisdom will escape.

What are some of the thoughts you have while listening to music or watching your favorite movie? How is it effecting your overall mood at that particular time? Some music might take you to a nice fairy tail land or paradise like setting in your mind. While others might make you think of dark and sinister settings, doom/gloom type stuff. Movies and tv provide the picture, no need for imagination, unless you tend to picture yourself in some of those movies or scenes with actors. See where im going with this? Our minds can go on tangents, one second we might be cleaning the fridge but our minds might be in lala land with our loved ones or thinking about a nice hot-rod you saw.

Romans 12:2

And stop being molded by this system of things, but be transformed by making your mind over, so that you may prove to yourselves the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

So lets drive this point on home shall we? Think about the things you where exposed to when you where growing up, remember how it effected you? What about the kids you know in your life now? Do you do your best to be a good influence on the young ones of this generation? I would hope the answer would be yes, with no hesitation. If not, consider some more wholesome ways to spend time with your loved ones young or even old. Just because you grew up in a different generation doesn't mean you dont have any effect on someone elses life. In fact, we all can benefit from one another in a variety of ways. I have found knowledge in the young and in the old. Just depends on if you are actually listening and paying attention.

Proverbs 4:7

Wisdom is the most important thing, so acquire wisdom, And with all you acquire, acquire understanding.

Ecclesiastes 9:16

And I said to myself: ‘Wisdom is better than mightiness; yet a poor man’s wisdom is despised, and his words are not heeded.’

Just felt like putting in this pic, kinda liked it.

I’ll leave off with saying that us as humans are very fragile and impressionable. We tend to overlook the real problems and overthink the insignificant ones. Spending more time in a fake world, rather than participating in the one right in front of us. We are shaped and molded by the world in which we live, what we see and do are a direct result of all our past experiences and the current situations we find ourselves in today. So, instead of listening to that rapper talk about how much money he has or playing that video game that comes out every year with the exact same premise as the last, shoot this guy to get to the next objective. How about we take some time to read a good book (I could think of a REAL good one) have deep conversations with people, go out sight seeing or just something that doesn't involve an internet connection/tv. Even if just for a little bit, to keep you grounded in reality, which is something im still trying to master too, so don’t feel bad lol.

Proverbs 24:19

Do not be upset because of evil men; Do not envy wicked people,

Ecclesiastes 8:14

There is something futile that takes place on the earth: There are righteous people who are treated as if they had acted wickedly, and there are wicked people who are treated as if they had acted righteously. I say that this too is futility.

One last thing, i will leave some links to other videos and websites that could give father info on the effects of the entertainment we watch. Keep in mind that this blog is only intended to help people discern or to challenge ones previously held beliefs, i feel that its good to keep an open mind about spiritual matters. Also, this isnt real spiritual food either, yes it might give you better perspective but you still should be getting your spiritual food from the bible (Intended for believers). Thanks if you have reached this point, if you like it, dont forget to show it some love. :) Jahbless

(Videos And Websites)

How Porn Affects the Brain 

How Violence in the Media Effects Children 

Part 1 of 4: ex Occultist, Secret Society, Psychic, New Age, Spiritualist, Witchcraft( Pennie Reese)