#(i also write fic for it if that entices anyone at all haha just kidding... unless?)

[domifucker]

if anyone needs me i'll be over here being abnormal about shoresy season 2, keeso really decided i was going to feel the whole spectrum of human emotion

[ditsy-pink]

good omens as stuff my friends say!

inspired by @broken-records-cosplay ! hope u like this bb (also this is long sorry jsjsj)

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Anathema: you gave me flower, so here’s a rock

Newt: ʸᵒᵘ’ʳᵉ ᵐʸ ʳᵒᶜᵏ

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Crowley: *throws rock in lake*

Aziraphale: oh my, i wish i’d get thrown like that

Crowley: you are such a fucking bottom

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Wensleydale: can I admit something?

Adam: oh of course

Wensleydale: sometimes when I see Adam typing for a prolonged time, I think he’s just trying to perfect his key smash

Adam: ... no comment

Wensleydale: alright

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Brian: *talking about his future racoon* Big Sexy is gonna fuck up the neighbourhood kids

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Pepper, out of nowhere: lesbian corn

Adam: thank you for the reminder

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Adam: all hail the watcher

Wensleydale: all hail the watcher!

Pepper: all hail the watcher

Brian: all hail the watcher

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Shadwell: aziraphale is the goblin friend

Aziraphale: I would NEVER wear sweatpants

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Zira: okay i mentally need to take a break from looking at boys

Crowley: yeah bitch, like take a fucking you whore!

Zira: ... “take a fucking”?

Crowley: ... I forgot to add a word, “take a fucking breather” is what I meant to say

-*continuation of last convo*

Zira: there’s no one around to give me a fucking

Crowley: Get Your Own Dick, Go Fuck Yourself

Zira: I’m getting tired of that, I need change

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Crowley: the moment you get the card number I’m “loosing” my card and getting a new one

Crowley: man, dolphins are scary

Crowley: well, goodnight! Don’t let anyone steal your sparkle and don’t forget to nutter(*yes that’s what they said) your pets

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Mme Tracy: I know break ups are hard sweetheart, are you feeling okay?

Aziraphale: oh definitely! Don’t worry about me one bit

Aziraphale: anyways, I’m gonna go eat my feelings haha

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Mme Tracy: getting dick soon!!!

mme Tracy: also how do you like your tea

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Adam: I’m not telling you that I love you until you take a shower

Brian: *keeps pouting, talking and not going* :(

Adam: you’re an angel and I love you but-

Brian: oh okay that’s all I needed to hear :)

Adam: ... wait a fucking second

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Crowley: *writes cursed fic cause he thinks he’ll be able to laugh at his friends’ scared/“wtf” reactions* for you

Anathema: first of all, I can’t read this

Anathema: legally

Anathema: It has no paragraph breaks, I will actually have an aneurysm without proper structure.

Crowley: are you really going to critique something that is extremely cursed and was souly made to piss off Shadwell?

Anathema: yes, yes I am. So sorry person who wrote that but I can’t read fics that aren’t properly structured.

Crowley: I wrote it

Anathema: then bitch improve your writing

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Aziraphale: *bad pun*

Crowley: blocked

Aziraphale: Wait unblock I have something to tell you!

Crowley: ... unblocked

Aziraphale: ᴵ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ

Crowley: ... followed, liked, shared

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Crowley, giving his report to hell: well, later sluts I’ve entered the city

Beezulbub: bye slut, hope you die in the woods

Crowley: thank you!

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Anathema: *about not telling zira something and trying to convince him they’re messing with him instead of telling him* What if we were picking on the most gullible one?

Crowley: wouldn’t that be something

Aziraphale: this is heaven all over again

Anathema: That’s the thing about snakes. They scare and entice you until you get bit.

Aziraphale: what are you gonna do, huh??you gonna call me a cry baby bitch??? gonna become an authoritative figure of mine and tell me I’m the most horrible angel you’ve ever known??? gonna undermine me???

Crowley: i love snakes homies

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Anathema: what are 11 y/o boys even ON

Anathema: like bitch you are a BABY you can’t be the antichrist

Newton: They’re on pure testosterone and Gatorade

Anathema : I would like you to look me dead in my eyes and tell me that about Adam Young

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Agnes Nutter, witch, in a prophecy for a few days before the Apocalypse-That-Wasn’t: Goodnight spirit of fae. Lest ye have a nice rest.

Anathema, reading that on that night: :,)

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Adam: *in reference to the Sanders Sides* you would be Tired Dad Deceit™️

Beezulbub: true... I do own a lot of hats....

Adam: begrudgingly in charge of two unholy gremlins

Beezulbub: more like 10 million but continue

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Brian: we should plan something, but not right now cause I’m surviving off of one (1) brownie, pink lemonade and the smell of chlorine at the moment

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Brian: We love you!

Pepper: do you?

Wensleydale: yeah we do!

Adam: with every single one of our heart shaped brain cells

Pepper: so just the one then

The boys: *varying degrees of D:*

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God, about Crowley: he’s lived his devious life for more than 6000 slutty, slutty years

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Adam: God put me on this earth solely to make you mad

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Aziraphale: I’m trying to get Crowley to open up. He’s tomato soup and I am but a broken can opener

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Anathema, as a joke to the rest cause Wensleydale’s on his phone: he’s on the twilight forums

Wensleydale: only for Robert Pattinson

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Shadwell: You know I used my pocket knife on my shoelaces at work. It was a lifesaving situation. Almost died

Newt: it wasn’t

Shadwell: It absolutely was