#some bonus hockey boys for u to love

[domifucker]

if anyone needs me i'll be over here being abnormal about shoresy season 2, keeso really decided i was going to feel the whole spectrum of human emotion

[hollywoodsargeant]

What are your favorite Logan and/or Loscar pics?

++ do you have any where Logan is actually smiling with his teeth? I love his smile so much but everytime he sees a camera he does exactly this face :)

i love getting these asks. yes i want to talk about logan for an unnecessary amount of time. yes i will show you pictures of him. this is the greatest day of my life. ik you did not ask for commentary you just asked for pictures but the commentary is included for free thanks for coming

i have so many logan pics… easy answer is they’re all my favorite which is real but i won’t be annoying. also applies to loscar. let’s go. i will give both logan and loscar pics and YES i definitely have some where he's smiling with his teeth i will include (+ if you have not seen my thesis yet i have some real insanity about his smiling tendencies)

anyways. here u go

okay first is this picture bc it's been in my favorites album forever and i think. this is the third time i've been asked for my favorite logan pictures and i always include this one. great merch shoot all around i owe my life to whoever decided it was a good idea to put him in a sleeveless shirt

something about this fucking polo shirt man... i remember seeing a video clip of him walking into the paddock and being like omg the fucking polo shirt. and i took some really horrible quality screenshots. so the actual photo of him is great for my business... and this is monaco fyi

bahrain press con loscar... there r many images from this press conference that i enjoy but here's the two of them gayly staring at each other. and thank god for oscar piastri in shorts great for my business (i want to bite his thighs)

my friend described this once as "the picture where oscar has fully given up" (implied on acting straight) and i think about that a lot

more recent loscar. spectacular work. i love this picture so much it's my banner or whatever on here... and it includes some logan smiling with his teeth. more oscar giving up. really good all around thank you whoever decided mclaren and williams should be paired up here again there are other images from this fanzone thing that i love but this one is my fav

kyle... logan kyle... my favorite florida boys... another one that i'm like. i can't not include it. this one is my banner on twitter (NOT X) and i still love it to tiny little pieces. even if logan is in ultimate Smiling For The Camera Mode i just think he is neat. hockey guy. also hearing kyle talk about this night amuses me bc he called logan a superstar

so. yeah i don't know. something something hometown boy... florida man... special helmet et cetera. he clearly just got a haircut before miami and it's really apparent in all of these shoot photos ANYWAYS this is my favorite picture from his helmet shoot. this or the one of him and benny and benny's wife that is not from the shoot actually it was just on benny's instagram but it makes me smile

his suit does him well. Next

h. for one he looks very impeccably like a ken doll in the first one then the second angle where he's smiling with teeth... very important. i love him so very much i will put him in my pocket goodbye forever

more of him laughing w alex for Reasons. his tendency to touch with the back of his hand... especially while laughing... let's not get into that. bonus austin 2022 bc i am still amused by the fact that alex was against logan in that head2head for some inexplicable reason. it was never acknowledged. latifi just was not there

I JUST THINK HE'S CUTE.

peak logan smile. he's so perfect. Goodnight. actually here's a bunch of random shit i like:

i hit the image limit. thanks man

[kombuuuu]

Hiiiiii so do you have any like ideas for me to write abt with e1610!miles or e42 miles cause I kinda want a list cause I'm thinking abt writing two other fics and I need something to force me to write ◡̈ also I might not be able to to answer cause my ma is telling me to sleep but I will answer at some point so thank you 🫶

YES POOKIE HERE ARE SOME THINGS I WROTE DOWN A WHILE BACK

1610 friends to lovers — figuring out how to love each other thru different dimensions

1610 enemies to lovers — who doesn’t like a student rivalry AU (bonus if you get together and find hes spiderman and be like ‘dude wtf how do u still get study time in???’)

1610 pre established relationship — trivialities between lovers ,, finding out what he does and getting upset over it bc he could dieeee / OR getting caught up in a situation BC he’s spiderman and he has to save yeeeew

42 pre established relationship / friends to lovers — being with/falling for miles despite his many fans (hockey boy au RAHH) ((him being head over heels))

42 enemies to lovers — sucker for the ‘i make money by killing people’ and ‘i think that’s immoral so i’m going to steal that money’ trope

THATS ALL I HAVE DOWN BUT IF U DO THEM JUST TAG ME RAHHHHH

[doodlejoyy]

Vance hopper hc’s I came up with:) (i definitely did take a screenshot of him in a tiktok cause he looked very pretty)

Okay here are the hcs:)

1. He plays hockey or he used to

2. In modern day he would def like Lana del Rey and I stand by this idc

3. Vance’s main love language is giving gifts

4. I feel like he would look good with like a slit thing on his eyebrow or a piercing:)

5. Loves rings

6. Pinball is like a getaway to him I can’t explain it

7. He would love icp😍

8. Momma’s boy (I think we can all agree)

9. Daddy issues....

10. He’s a Leo

11. Has a good hair routine (I mean look at how pretty his hair is)

12. Has cuteness aggression (mainly with griffin)

13. He bites idk don’t ask

14. Kicks in his sleep

15. He has a specific curl in his hair that he likes to play with

16. He’s actually really smart

17. Picks with his thumb or plays with that one curl when he is nervous

18. Doesn’t fight unless provoked

19. If he was a animal it would be a lion idc

20. Mean girl (he gossips with Gwen, Bruce, finney, and Donna)

21. Sucks at flirting (it’s like weird and aggressive)

22. Has normal talks with the police (like “how are you” or some shit idk)

23. Secretly enjoys romance movies or books

24. He speaks French:) (maybe his mom is from France:D)

25. Cracks his knuckles a lot (just like me)

26. First car was a rusty blue truck

27. He is actually really quiet

28. Has either a cat or a rabbit

29. Has holes in his wall from when he gets really mad

30. Has a lil ego;)

31. Loves horror (just like me again)

32. Not big on physical touch but if he really cares about u he’ll def do it a lil

33. Is good at baking (bakes cookies with Amy for the group)

34. Loves rock music but also likes calming music

35. Loves to mess with Robin and Billy

36. Has 2 little sisters

Also like a lil bonus for the sun and moon trope thing with Bruce and Vance I swear Vance is the sun and Bruce is the moon (and I stand but this😍)

This is kind of my first post I hope this is good:)



[chyuans]

          hello , hello  !   first of all ,  i’m super excited to be here even if i’m like 10 hrs LATE  ( gmt timezone things )  i’m noe ,  a gay  they / them at the age of 19 ,  and this privileged lil disappointment of a jock boy is gonna be filling the position of kong_01 . despite the rumours ?  yuanjun’s actually not nearly as bad as some of the people he’ll be meeting here >:)  but you’ll get to know more about that below  !  if you’d like to plot just light up that HEART , or add me on disc*rd which i’ll give out in im’s , where i’m infinitely faster .  if i’m not gaming .  no tw’s under the cut  .

* backstory. > many people know of yuanjun, but few people truly know him. he's the famous kong families’ son, heir to the kong legacy, now forward position for south korea men’s national hockey team - which brought forth a ton of international fame from back home and amongst hockey lovers worldwide. while his talent is undeniable, he is long overshadowed by his families’ accomplishments, forever reminded that he’d never be the perfect son they’d hoped for, and no one ever lets him forget it.

> being the child of business tycoons who’s art business seemed to never be on the decline, tended to lend itself to an unconventional, pretty lonely childhood. 

> although jun no longer wants to dabble in the stupid shit he probably did as a teen, and escape from their home in a childish fit of rage and make the lives of the various nannies that tended to him while his parents were off being great hell, he still wonders sometimes whether this profession is what he would’ve wanted if he’d just not wanted to spite his parents. he loves hockey - that fact is undeniable. he thanks the nanny who took him there once out of necessity to stop his whining, and he fell in love with it almost instantly. but he also questions whether he gravitated to it because it was something he could throw himself into wholeheartedly to fill a void.

> he's very open to different types of people, and after being scouted at 19 and having a massive shift both in culture and identity as he then begun to travel worldwide, he’s a tiny bit more wordly now than he was back then. he's much more concerned about who you are underneath than superficial appearances, which means developing relationships are few and far between, because a lot of people do approach him because of his fame/fortune. he's unjudgemental to the point where his friends worry about his naivety and how easily he trusts people, but he's absolutely not dumb, just very well versed on telling good people from the bad.

> jun may even come across as naïve, but he's very aware of that perception is nearly important as reality. he's not extroverted in a way that demands conversation, but he knows how to talk to anyone from any background even if its just to maintain pleasantries. after competing in various competitions and versing players from canada to japan, he's become much more sharp and ambitious, a guy who very rarely lets distractions take their course. perhaps it’s with this that his family loathe his choices all the more, with his appetite, he was born with the skills required to run a business - pity he never took to anything of the creative sort.  

> working in a fast, stressful, highly coveted job such as pro-sports is a full time job and then some; jun doesn't spend much time not working on it. outside of his schedule, he likes bettering his stamina at the gym and eating healthy. he likes being surrounded by authentic people or nobody at all. he’s not one for trying new things and having new experiences due to time management, tending to stick to a schedule.

> he gets a lot of bad press though, which is beginning to weigh a little heavy on him. doubly now the murder has people talking. from being accused of performance-enhancing pills, various personality scandals, to being linked with ‘dating’ (see: ruining the image of) idols and chaebol’s alike. right now, he’s currently battling a lot of unwanted publicity because of a misunderstood interaction online against a wealthy sweetheart that went sour. 

> while jun might be generally unsympathetic and analytical when it comes to developing relationships with people that’ll last long-term, he's a bleeding heart when it comes to kids who may have experienced the same lonely upbringing as he did, without the financial gains. right now he spends sunday’s teaching a bunch of local foster home kids how to skate, and is trying to fund a couple of sports scholarships for those who show promise under a fake name, just generally being a good ‘ole guy.

> his family do not approve of his job, ofc. in fact neither of his parents have ever attended any of his matches to this day, and are only on semi-decent terms with him because jun begrudgingly is still tied by name to the business and shows his face at events for all of 30 minutes until he physically can no longer maintain pleasantries. his celebrity image perhaps is one thing they can manipulate, and even then, jun could get into scandals galore and still be doing his job. good press, bad press, it has the kong’s family name at the forefront of peoples’ minds, which always brings forth revenue.  

> pros: could be a lot worse considering his upbringing, collected, and level-headed most of the time. wicked good at sports, and keeps a cool head in a tough situation. ambitious, curious, a little reckless. eager to prove himself, rich? and very endeared to people/places he finds fascinating. which are many. knows where the good, authentic chinese cuisine is. hardworking and very interested in the idea of Progress.

> cons: the most private person alive, will not divulge any palatable information about himself or his feelings. devil's advocate always. will put himself and others at an arm’s length the second he feels (disgusted noises) e-emotions (love, namely). gets bored easily. paranoid, leads with the head more than the heart. friends > > > family. a little self-involved, never fucking sleeps - will be that neighbour you can hear padding around above your apartment at 3.05 am like it’s mid-day, aaaaand Loves Winning Above All Else

* personality & relationships.

> like many others, jun has his fair share of surface-level friends. he’s quick to be interested in people, to get to know them better, but it's difficult for him to get closer than that after a childhood of being picked up and dropped by those who looked over him - which kinda has left him with abandonment issues.

> he’s a curator of neat things that aren’t too overtly complex, and that includes friendships. so if you have something unusual about you, whether it's a talent or a way of thinking, he would be inclined to get to know you better. also, he has a lot of leverage with his job. being friends with a sports star slash million dollar trust fund baby who can get you free shit never hurts, just don’t befriend him for the perks, yanno?

> jun is very dedicated to his vision of things, and can sometimes be very obstinate in the way he a) wants them to be done b) doesn't accept other options, think steve jobs. he's very mercurial and can be nice one minute but isn't afraid to switch to hardass boss to get things done and did.  > he is insanely competitive and his strive is drawn out by always wanting to be on top. truly first child material. that's the kind of guy he is, with standards that do not reflect his passive side too well, which sometimes can get him into some “personality” scandals. he is driven, motivated, always looking for ways to be winning.

> i'm sure someone is bound to hate him, he’s probably got a few accounts online dedicated to a steady stream of shit-talking, given his cutthroat status or holding many hockey cups.

> jun doesn’t think too much about his sexuality - he'd probably best be labelled as pan, but leans towards those who identify as women? because of his current placement in a workspace, and with a cultural identity, that both don’t often lend themselves to lgbtq+ rights, i doubt he’d ever make that public.

> he works amongst some of the fittest people in the world, he knows how to appreciate beautiful bodies, but he's not about to discriminate. he's tragically a committaphobe and isn't interested in anything long-term right now, although i think it'd be funny if someone tried. he's very open for flings and one-night stands and even a friends with benefits sort of set up. 

* wc’s.  >  bring me his baby bro and sis. i command u. i have many thoughts  >  somebody who maybe gets in on his foster-kid situation? idk maybe they have a perception of jun being what he is in the articles they read of him, but they see him and are like <3_<3 he actually real Nice huh. i see this being romantic but it could bloom a really nice, wholesome friendship too. >  enemies. not gonna lie, he doesn’t vibe with rich kids w / a stick up their ass, especially since a lot of the people he works with aren’t from exorbitant families. people who loathe him for declining to take over his families’ business? like the boy can’t even name more than 3 artists off of the top of his head?   > fwb except neither of them know what “just friends” mean.  > i would love if jun had a confidante. a best friend, a partner in crime, a total bromance 'cause i can never get enough of those. whatever label you ‘wanna put on it. wiping up each other’s messes. maybe a Betrayal in the works  > again, gonna be a wc, but i would love a “rival” of jun's on a similar level (or bigger)  that’s entirely fabricated based off of trashy articles or a misunderstood interaction online. bonus points if they’re an absolute sweetheart, well loved by most people, and generally the antithesis of jun with his multiple drug/personality rumours, which in contrast, make him seem like the bad guy. 

> party buddy. this guy hasn’t touched alcohol/cigarettes/any other stimulants since he was underage and wanted to rebel. the word “relax” does not exist in his vocabulary. Help

[jewfrogs]

i vaguely remember forever ago seeing someone on my dash talking about reading tons of trashy gay romance paperbacks — was that u? if so: recs??

yes that was definitely me!

i don’t know exactly how trashy these ones are (i don’t want to rec books that i didn’t at least Like :c) but they’re all varying degrees of fun and a little shameless:

after the crash by emma alcott (one of the protags of this one is ex-military, which i don’t love, but other than that it’s fairly solid. bonus points for slowburn adoption of a teenager)

leo loves aries by anyta sunday (this book is dumb and i kind of love it for that. the platonic ideal of the wildly oblivious not-so-straight protagonist)

it takes two to tumble by cat sebastian (the historical [regency] setting is usually not at all my scene but somehow i love when cat sebastian does it. bonus points for cute children. if you like this one, she has a lot of other period romances that you might enjoy!)

love for the cold blooded, or the part-time evil minion’s guide to accidentally dating a superhero by alex gabriel (genuinely such a stupid and fun book. bonus points for identity porn)

assist by l.a. witt (romance between three hockey players. i think that should speak for itself)

tournament of losers by megan derr ([high?] fantasy, predictable but enjoyable. if you like second-world fantasy, with or without magic, i recommend checking out her works in general)

know not why by hannah johnson (very funny, a little dumb, and extremely endearing)

knight’s fire by s.j. himes (what can i say? i like dragons. this is good dragons)

the unholy trifecta by a.j. sherwood (heists + found family + tender romance. what more could you ask for?)

drunk text by seventhswan (this is... fairly trashy, i think? but also kind of hilarious and full of unexpected feelings. you can read it on fictionpress here if you’re so inclined)

a boy and his dragon by r. cooper (the author’s writing style is unique and sometimes a little hard to follow, but i enjoy a lot of their works. this one is my favorite due to the dragon)

i hope some of these work for you! <3

[saint-patrice]

torey krug for @bigbruinsenergy !

life:made 😎 nah fr, thank you for this request my friend!! i was very excited to do one for torey, he’s quite the character and i love him A Lot

Note: a few people have said they like these posts, so i’m happy to take requests if there’s a particular player you’d like to see! see this page (i don’t think it works on mobile because tumblr is a burning shitpile, sorry) for details, and a list of ones i’ve done so far :) i have quite a few requests rn, but feel free to keep em coming!

he may be short, but he is powerful!! or in the words of the bruins’ twitter account, “torey krug: angry”. an unforgettable moment from this season, torey was really living every bruins fan’s dream of completely and aggressively flattening a blues player in this moment. and i salute him for it

here he is, in all his glory, laughing his ass off at the entire new jersey bench. he’s honestly such a little bastard and that’s precisely why i love him. he’s full of love for his teammates and nothing but spite for everyone else. it’s very sexy of him, really 

baby krug!!!! isn’t she just the cutest, she’s so tiny 😭 the baby pictures have been just about the only thing making offseason bearable thus far

it must be a cruel god we have for him to put a 5′9 man (or 3 of them...) on a team with someone an entire foot taller than him. but it makes for great content so honestly, who’s complaining. this has the precise energy of a young girl playing dress-up with her mom’s clothes. it’s undeniable

the effort he has to go to... oh my god. he truly is a short king

i know brad and torey are always at each other’s throats on twitter but this... this is straight up murder, holy shit. “we just use your tongue to resurface the ice” - even i felt that. is brad okay?? i mean these tweets are old but still, that’s gotta leave a lasting wound on a man’s psyche. let it be known that torey krug takes no prisoners

just a father, lovingly cradling his tiny son

look at this dapper man!! while i very much appreciate the ‘peaky bruins’ winter classic outfits, some of them look kinda odd (please see: zdeno chara, 19th century plague doctor). but i think kreauty’s is really nice!! a good all-grey look, with that red tie to brigten it up. and i think his shirt is pale blue rather than white?? i like it. he suits the cap too. looks like a man i’d buy a new fountain pen and perhaps a pocket watch from

(gif via @pavszacha​) pray tell, why do we have the prettiest team? and what colour are his eyes?? green? brown? grey? who knows, but i love them a lot

he’s wearing brad’s stuff.

i would like to draw your attention to the shirt torey is wearing. no, you are not hallucinating. yes, his shirt says “mcavoy: i’m lovin’ him”. i need to know where to purchase this because it’s the only thing i want to wear for the rest of my life. additionally, it is a proven fact that no one loves the boston bruins more than the boston bruins. for real

the reason he’s so angry is that he’s short, and therefore closer to hell. however, i have adopted “i’m punching him then” as a frequently used phrase in my daily life, i must admit. it’s pretty good

i would now like to interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a small collection of gifs of mr torey krug winking:

(gifs via @bradmarchrad​, @noeldozer​, and @kureally​) regularly scheduled programming will now resume

what’s a kiss between two 5′9 hockey guys?

this entire thing is comedy gold tbh. nhl 2003 for playstation. (my turtles). graduated from DARE. chicken and rice. iconic. i did get emo looking at ‘pro hockey player’ though like,, he really did that. he’s out there living his dreams. i am proud. and i’m sure there’s plenty of time for architecture after he retires too

he also has meme potential!! this is excellent because it applies to so many of life’s situations. particularly applicable to just about everything sweeney has done so far this free agency, but we won’t get into that

based on his reaction, you’d assume that the refs have just called a bad penalty or something (although not that they ever would), but no. he has in fact just scored a goal. $100 to anyone who is able to figure out why he is so displeased with this fact

...don’t speak to me or my son ever again

oooh take a look at these marvelous boys! extremely beautiful. black shirts are underrated imo, still as ~classy and refined~ as a plain white shirt, but it spices things up a little. poll: is torey krug a stylish legend? yes or yes

backes is just trying to celebrate the goal when along comes torey, resident nuisance. why is he like This

he has somehow perfectly mastered the skill of looking 14 and 40 at the same time, and it weirds me out a bit. i’ll just say he’s Timeless and move on

going to see a football game with the boys 💪🏻💪🏻 i cannot help but note the mild irony of torey in a gronk jersey - i would like a photo of the two of them together. also, this was posted here with the caption “brave of torey to post a picture where he looks like that next to three guys who look like that” and like torey, my man, i’m so sorry but i have to agree. the hat gives him a very non-threatening gnomish vibe. i’m sorry but it’s the truth

i have never in my life seen someone look so pleased with a simple fistbump. but you do you, man - whatever makes you happy. it’s also very deliberately delivered. it leaves me slightly confused overall. come to think of it, i don’t think i’ve ever seen a normal, well-executed fistbump on the bench, bruins or otherwise. hockey players are strange creatures

more tiny baby krug!!! she is so little oh gosh. adorable

a visual representation of all of bruins tumblr marvelling at patrice. me too, torey. me too.

TOREY !!!!! yet another murder, someone restrain this man before he can do any more damage oh my god

oof what a photo, i love this. and yet again, torey krug: angry. but we wouldn’t want him any other way. i love u, scorey krug!

bonus!

(gif via @marchnds​) i know this isn’t of torey, but i would be completely remiss to not include this gif of brad losing his shit after saying that torey looks like danny devito

 thank you for the request, i hope you enjoy!! 💕

[hurricanelegacy]

which writers do u recommend and what do you recommend from them

@sincereshawn - wow my sis, i love her so much and i love her work with my whole ass heart, everything from fics to blurbs to series,from angst to smut to fluff.  my girl has you covered. she is so talented, and once again this girl i love her with my whole heart

@song-bird-shawn - she has many great series that i love so much, but her blurbs, wow this girl is so talented oh my goodness, how she gets these amazing ideas from little prompts amazes me. so go check her out 

@flickershawn - this girl writes bomb ass series and one shots. I am in love with her talented, her series are filled with so much and the relationship are slow burn, i love it. go check her out. one i highly recommend is Love Sick 

@infiniteshawn - much like flickershawn, her series are bombass and filled with so much detail. i am in so much awe and when i see her planning a new one or an update is coming out soon, i get so excited. one i highly recommend is Puppy Love 

@hilarioushawn - this girl’s blurbs are amazing, they are so sweet and talented and i just have huge heart eyes, a bonus is that she is working on a series and so far it is amazing. 

@whispermendes & @worshippingmendes - these two do bomb ass blurbs, i love them so much. i am pretty sure they are new just like i am and i can alreadysee their blogs getting more and more populairity, so get check these beautiful gems out.

@smallerinfinities - wow. that is all i can say for this one, just go and read gin and juice because you will not regret it. this series ( and the girl ) is just so amazing. wow. 

@lostinshawnslight - if you want a series you can binge read, this girl has got you covered. wow, she is so talented and her series just get better and better. i highly recomened youth, life as we know it and the chase 

@gentlemanmendes - this bean is so so supprotive and talented from her blurbs to her fics. they are truly talented and it shows just how passioante of a writer she is. go check her out

@wanderingmendes - this girl is so talented and has an amazing hockey,frat boy shawn series going on at the moment that i am in love with and has some great blurbs and one shots as well. go check her out. 

@illumendes - she is so talented, i am in love with her work. she is the sweetest and has a true gift in writing. go check her out 

@oyesmendes - okay i have read her angst and that breaks my heart so much, so this is your girl if you really want any angst 

of course there are so many more talented writers out there on tumblr, but i haven’t found them yet. all the blogs i have mentioned are some of the sweetest and funniest people ever and they are so creative and they have a true gift in writing. 

[scottymccalled]

Let’s start it off with the one and only, the canon pairing of a sad sk8er boi and his tiny baker: Jack Zimmerman/Eric “Bitty” Bittle!

Ice Crew Please!

THE FIC THAT CHANGED E V E R Y T H I N G u don’t even KNOW oh my god

u read this and u r like: “ice crew au…?? wut” but U GUYS. READ IT.

I AM. BEGGING U. its so fucking funny but also so fucking meaningful and abt CREATING A Fa mILY !!!! and LoVe!!!! and frieNDShIP!!!

p.s i don’t want to spoil it but if u read it message me and ill talk to u abt the part that made me cry like actual tears bc thank god for friendships and acknowledging that shit is hard

the messes of men

this was… in it’s own way.. a hard fic to read (which makes it the best fic to read! pain! i love it! help me!) it’s very very very beautifully written and i hold it very close to my heart….how it portrays jack by himself and how hard it must’ve been…it also manages to weave in how mental illness plays its own role, even once you get together with the person you’re pretty sure is it for you. somewhat painful but cathartic and achingly tender.

until it got the best of you

umm bitty has a big dick. that’s it.

BUT then there’s feelings! and angst! and misunderstanding! (the best type too! u know when one is like so crazily in love with the other and thinks its shockingly obvious but surprise, it’s not!) it’s just fantastic!

i never saw the signs

imagine a world where jack jumping over the snowbank, bringing bitty coffee, going on long walks classifies (in jack’s mind) as dating. so when bitty gets asked out, jack cannot believe the b e t r ay a l! we’re dating bitty! just read this and be happy :)

left the city, my family, my precinct

oh my goodness this fic.

jack accidentally sends bittle a dick pick.

:0  ;)  <3 ___ <3 = summary of the fic

mixing it up

this is just….so cute?!??!?! and funny?!??! and 1!!!!!

bitty is contestant at a baking tournament for the falconers where jack and tater are the judges. at least, thats where it starts off.

tater is fucking hILARIOUS this fic in general made me laugh a lot.

strawberry

if u about that dom/sub life well…….just know that eric pins jacks hands to the bed and there’s v intense blushing that boi turns red like a tomato and i live 4 it.

eric is a tad too southern for me but it’s the only thing this fic doesn’t do perfectly :))))

something like this

considering how popular this fic is it actually sat open in a tab for a looong loooooong time just bc…well… it’s 285,748 words. im an all or nothing girl as in i once read the entire maze runner trilogy in one night so i had to find the right time

first of all: angst. second of all: angst. third of all: ….. u guessed it… angst. BUT don’t worry, for every drop of angst there’s a metro-fucking-ton of smut and sweetness :)))) ;))) what this fic does brilliantly is create an OMC that is at the forefront of the story and do it seamlessly. this is a pretty iconic fic and tbh im definitely not one for fics longer than 100k but this was a fuckin’ beaut man

rake the springtime across your sheets

oh god this was P A I N F U L but in a very beautiful way??? (that’s how u know the writing was siCK) ambiguously happy ending but tbh in the end this fic is really just abt the unspoken quiet truth of being in love, of loving, of being human just lke Fffffffuck me up

Phone, Please!

listen. i’m not a fluff person. idk i get bored. BUT. BUUUUUT. BUT. this fic.

AMAZING. this fic is all about the details and the little moments that make Bitty and Jack  ~*BittyandJack*~

Bonus favorite line: “Thank god there are pancakes to serve. Pancakes are also very nice, and something he can actually have.”

Winter Clothes

Chowder POV so this is both hiLARIOUS and surprisingly touching. Jack and Bitty help Chowder buy clothes for New England winter. As a person living in New England, I approve this message.

WIPS: *Hate That I Love You plays in the background*

medic, please!

so if u ever played world of warcraft u r gonna love it and if you’ve never played world of warcraft u r gonna love it

this fic is just SO CREATIVE?!?!! like the format of it is B O M B. its just. so good. oh ym god.

(also the name is “medic please!” get it? cuz eric’s a medic in the game.? and check..PLEASE! ugh I’m a nerd 4 this pic

Fainting Psychics and Pessimistic Demonologists

ghostbusters au except not bc copyright

at first i was like…ghost hunters au?? rlly? but now I’m like GHOST HUNTERS AU? B R I L L I A N T.

characters are on point, its funny (an actual line of the fic “Jack sat down at his computer, pulled open a tab, and googled “How to encourage a teammate”. lmao what a mess)

but also theres some mystery and intrigue and suspense and in general this is a Good.

baking is punk as fuck

this is another AU that i was like…punk band u ….rlly? but then i was like PUNK BAND AU FUCK YEAH im a sucker for asshole Jack. i’m not even into punk?? but im into this fic U ___ U

This Don’t Even Feel Like Falling

filed under “praise kink mmmm”

honestly? porn..? “Bitty is the one to tie Jack’s hands for Hazeapalooza; afterward, he ties Jack’s hands for their own private enjoyment. “ like?? I’m not sorry.

but also not established relationship more like fwb but u know and i know and ngozi knows that ain’t the game we’re playing here

around the green and blue

not usually a big fan of soulmate aus but what i love about this fic is the pacing and even tho soulmate aus where seeing your soulmate = seeing color for the first time isn’t totally new this felt super fresh and original!

shine for you

aw MAN this gave me the feeeeeels. established relationship but jack is not out, it’s a bit angsty but the jack perspective is just so gooood

EXTRA: It all started with a big Russian hockey player calling a small cat-loving hockey player a rat. You either h8 it or u luv it. In my case, I Love it, capital L, so enjoy: Alexei “Tater” Mashkov/Kent Parson

careful the tale you tell

Kent has been telling himself a story, ever since the Q. It’s the epic story of Parse and Zimms, and he’s in love with it. // this fic is specifically meant for patater newbies and this fic does an amazing job of showing why kent and alexei just make sense. its honestly a Blessing.

kick on the starter

lmao im gonna be 90 years old and still reccing Febricant’s fics…for real when i saw they wrote patater i was like…no..im dreaMing…or im dead? is . is heaven?? rlly unique approach to how she gets them together and gr8 build up :)))) Bless Febricant

i need to wake up, i need me some love…

honestly? shameless fluff. established relationship (they’re ENGAGED FOR GOD’S SAKE) short but Good

[piesforjack]

LISTEN Y'ALL, HERES A CANADIAN COLLOQUIALISMS AND MANNERS GUIDE

because frankly i’m tired of the misuse of our colloquialisms/slang/vernacular/manners/habits in fic so it’s time for this canadian to set the record straight!!!!!

1. “sorry”

i feel like y'all really miss the boat on this, we (henceforth read as: canadians) say sorry ALL. THE. TIME. it's not a joke!! it's real bad!!! i apologize to furniture when i bump into it, y'all!!!! SO if you wanna give jack and ransom some real authentic canadian lingo, have them apologize for nothing worth apologizing for, not just in excess when they do something actually worthy of apology

examples (all based on REAL LIFE things i’ve done): 

*someone bumps into you* (even though it wasn’t your fault at all) oop sorry! 

*not having exact change in your hand when paying for something so you take a second to pull out a nickel* sorry!

*dropping something near/in front of/beside another person* oh sorry!

*asks for substitution or change to a burger or sandwich* sorry, yeah can i get this instead of this? (and have crippling anxiety while asking  just me? hoookay that sounds fake but!!!)

2. holding the door open

listen i didn’t realize how distinctly canadian this was until i was abroad for 2 weeks and felt the real switch from small acts of manners and kindness replaced with absolutely no fucking care in the world for any human that isn’t you. stairwells and doors and any form of public transportation are an “every person for themselves” kinda deal and it’s weird. i will always hold the door open if i notice someone behind me (if i don’t, you bet ur fuckin ass i apologize for not holding it open) 

examples:

even if i get to a door first, if i notice someone behind me i’ll hold the door open for them and let them go first. this isn’t even an age or sex/gender thing, people will do this for anyone, not just the elderly or the female.

if someone holds the door open for me, i’ll pass through and say thank you and if there’s a second set of doors (like in some bookstores and malls and stuff they have those little foyer-like rooms before the actual store) i will hold the door open for them on the second set. always.

3. “bud”/”buddy”

truly a canadian staple that does not get utilized enough!!!! i can’t think of a single person in my life i haven’t called “buddy” at least once, including my lil ol’ grandmother. though typically when i use “buddy” i’m cussing someone out (see examples below!) we sound particularly minnesotan when we say "buddy” which is why i think a lot of people think we have this ridiculous accent (because FUN FUCKIN FACT: the canadian accent is NOWHERE NEAR THE LEVEL OF MINNESOTAN!!! we. do. not. sound. like. that. only “”””bros””””” (typically hockey bros (see: sidney crosby) or “country” boys (see: literally any fucking canadian boy who hunts/fishes/wears a cowboy hat unironically)) sound like this, the canadian “accent” americans mock? totally fucking fake mOVING ON)

“bud” however, that’s a sweet lil thing. it’s actually very much a term of endearment, so to say, i’ve only ever used it when talking to children and s/o’s. it’s not the only term of endearment canadians ever use (ahem, fic writers take note of that) but it’s definitely one that people use and it’s very cute and soft™

examples:

*cussing someone out over a video game/a joke that i have no comeback for/bad driving/etc.* “get fucked, buddy” “oh you’re fucked, buddy” “yeh fuckin right, buddy” etc. etc.

*accidentally taps child on the back of the head* oop, sorry bud!

*s/o says “i love you”* aw bud, i love you too

AND THE RARE BUT SOMETIMES SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE: “BUDDY” AS ENDEARMENT ie. “aw c’mon, buddy, you’re doing great!” (this is most often done by (hockey) bros to children, but i’m sure there’s other situations where this happens)

4. “oop”

again, another one i didn’t realize was canadian until buzzfeed said so. but tbh i use this one so fucking much i’m so sad that i haven’t seen a single fic where jack or ransom use this. it’s like...oops without the ‘s’? that’s really it, but it’s not just for “oops” situations, it’s like a expletive for many things and you just kinda gotta feel it in ur gut, i can’t really explain how/why i know when to use it so tread lightly, but know that this is probably the most popular right up there with “sorry” in terms of usage.

examples:

*watching hockey, fave team almost scores* oop oop oop! awwww f*#$U$%*#$%*! (they didn’t score) or oop oop oop! YAAAAAAH HELL FUCKIN YEEEEEEEEAH BABY WOOOOO!!!!!!!! (they did)

*bumps into someone* oop sorry!

*surprise burp* oop sorry!

*fumbles with something, almost drops it* oop oop oOP!

*does drop something* oop.. *picks it up*

*dodging and weaving through a crowd* oop, sorry..oop oop sorr-- oop!

5. “no problem”

now my understanding is that this is more an age thing than it is a canadian thing, but i feel like in true polite canadian fashion this phrase gets used more and more by a wider demographic than it originally started with. this is basically a replacement for “you’re welcome” because imo “you’re welcome” makes it sound like you’ve done someone a huge favour for them, and i mean, it seems weird to basically say “yeah, you ARE thankful because I HELPED you so yeah BE THANKFUL!” when someone like..holds the door open, y’know? like i said, i’ve heard this is a generation thing and lots of younger people say this instead, so it could be more widespread, but not many other countries say “thank you” as much as we do, so. who really knows tbh.

examples:

*holds door for someone, they say thank you* no problem! (because really, it wasn’t a problem, it was just the nice thing to do and it didn’t cause me any trouble at all to do it. you don’t have to be thankful for this act of kindness but fuck u if u don’t say thank you for it anyway, buddy)

*works in retail, helps someone find something* no problem! (because again, it’s not a problem, esp in this situation it’s my fucking job to help y’all so like? duh?? but same rules apply, if you don’t say thank u i’ll fucking remember it, pal)

*works in retail, can’t help someone find something, customer has to leave/find something else/etc* “alright, thanks anyway” “yeah no problem, sorry!” (because fucking duh, you get it by now)

6. FUCKING “EH”

HOOO FUCKIN BOY WE NEED TO HAVE A CHAT ABOUT THE ATROCITY THAT IS FIC WRITERS EXCESSIVELY AND IMPROPERLY USING THIS TERM. here’s some things to fucking clarify RIGHT FUCKIN NOW: we DO NOT end every sentence with “eh”, “eh” is not always a fucking question, it’s not said how you think it is, “eh” isn’t always tacked on to any fuckin sentence.

okay cool now that that’s fucking out of the way...”eh” is more often used as a filler word, not always like an “um” or a “uhh”, more like a “hey” or a cheer like “ehhhh!” but it’s not as often used as people like to write it into conversation. as of right now i can’t even remember the last time i used “eh” when i wasn’t making a fuckin mockery of how americans THINK we talk. 

“eh” has different pronunciations as well, each one has a different purpose and place in speech. eh pronounced like “a” is usually a cheer (like “ehhhh!!! we fuckin won!!!), pronounced exactly like its spelled is like a question (like “eh? i can’t hear you.), pronounced like “ayy” or “hey” without the “h” is like a greeting or after someone burns someone with a comeback or ur fave song comes on in the club etc etc

basically, what you’re noticing is that “eh” is actually more widely common than you fuckin think it is. it’s not exclusively canadian, and YES!!! there is the stereotypical “eh?” or “eh!” that certain pockets of people will use, again it sort of falls under that hockey/country bro-ish type (to clarify, because idk if i did this or not, “bro” is a gender neutral term, girls or otherwise can also be bros, i use it neutrally, sorry if that wasn’t clear!) but again!!! it’s not used at every turn and it’s VERY unlikely that if you went up to a canadian with ur shitty “eh?!” impression that they would be anything more than stone-faced and weary at your attempt at humour.

examples:

eh, how are you?

eh, to-may-to to-mah-to

FUCKIN. EH!! (usually an expletive when something amazing happens, usually about sports, usually more specifically about hockey, but u knooow)

*making a decision that takes some thinking* ehhhh...maybe?

*hesitantly wanting to go past/around/through a crowd* eh...excuse me...oop sorry! oh go ahead..no problem!

7. bonus canada facts for fleshing out ur stories/hcs!!!

canada has our own football league, yeah i fucking know. all those tropes about jack and ransom not knowing football? actual garbage, they probably know the basics at the very least. if they like football, ransom probably roots for the toronto argonauts (whom most people fuckin hate, along with the maple leafs (hockey team) because canada has this *thing* with toronto, i won’t get into that right now but just know, majority of canada wants nothin to do with toronto sports teams) and jack probably roots for the montreal alouettes because duh (alternatively he roots for something hella random like the saskatchewan rough riders, whom, as a manitoban, i hate by birthright) some of the CFL rules are different from the NFL but yeah, canada has a football league so. kill that trope.

jack and ransom probably know something about curling and/or can actually curl!! curling, btw, is an ice sport where you throw rocks at other rocks (not like, just any old rocks, it’s...just google it honestly i don’t wanna try and explain curling) i know when i was in school curling was always a part of gym in the winter because we had outdoor rinks nearby or one of my elementary schools actually made a curling rink (with the circles and everything!)

“canadian tuxedo” is double denim. meaning, denim shirt, denim pants = canadian tuxedo. jack is 1000000% guilty of doing this.

canada gets real fuckin cold but it also gets real fuckin hot, especially in central canada but also other places too. jack being overwhelmed by georgian heat is probably real HOWEVER he’s not a total dumbass who can’t function in the heat. canada’s weather is a fuckin gong show regardless of global warming so like, jack will sweat but he will not melt into a puddle

yeah anyway here’s a list of obscure canadian things (and some that are just #90sKidThings) ransom and/or jack probably know/love aka me going tf down memory lane!!!: don’t you put it in your mouth,  stay alert stay safe, the talking tv that scarred me for life, “moooom aiden cut me half again!!!”, they probably believed north american house hippos were a thing for a long ass time because they didn’t understand the point of the commercial, tales from the crypt aka my fave show, the weekenders!!!, jack probably loved art attack because sensory things!! visuals!! calm voice!! basically bob ross for kids!!!, BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE!!! HOOOMG, if you don’t know what this is I’M SO SORRY YOU MISSED OUT ON THE BEST THING EVER, ransom 100% had all the stuffies of these guys, out of the mcfuckin bOX, ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM, G2G OFF TO DRAGONLAND, you knew you were up TOO LATE if you were watching this, i could cry this show was so fckn good jack 100% loved this, idk if this was just a canadian thing but i fckn LOVED THIS ONE SO MUCH

honestly i could go on for fuckin ever but i’ll stop because god bless anyone who actually watches all those links lmao

i hope this was helpful!!! not tryna be a twat but i just wanted to clear some stuff up because i feel it’s my duty as a canadian to help y’all out, ok??? okay luv u bye thanks for reading!!!