#(it's the whole not having family for thirteen years thing. and then finding out you were NAMED AFTER SOMEONE.)

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why I Love The Owl House: Part 5-The Themes

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Salutations, random people on the internet who are already skimming past this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

And we’re just two parts away from me never talking about The Owl House again! In previous parts, we’ve talked about the characters, their relationships, and the narrative threads that are closely tied to them. For this part, we’re now discussing the show’s themes and messages. And I’ll level with you all: I’m admittedly...faulty at this part of media analysis. Anything regarding the discussion of a theme or message that a story tries to tell is something I struggle to do right. I regrettably either come across a theme through luck or piggybacking off of what others have said and throwing my two cents in. When it comes to putting it in my own words, I just…have issues in describing what the theme is. Hell, this whole part was the hardest to write because I often drew a blank of what to discuss or how to dig into it further. A part of me, deep down, KNOWS what a story is trying to say but I, a lot of the time, struggle finding the right words to best convey it.

Yeah, isn’t that rich? An English Major with a limited vocabulary and an ineptitude towards analysis. My life sucks sometimes…

With that said, there are some things that I’ve noticed about The Owl House and what it’s trying to tell to kids and maybe a few adults. A lot of its messages are definitely simple to older audiences, but with the things it has to say to kids it makes The Owl House something important to watch if they’re to shape the future. And no, I’m not talking about those lessons told at the end of each episode, but overall themes that occur through the course of the series. As far as I can tell, The Owl House has about…thirteen things to say about life, love, the trials of growing up, and how to deal with people. Plus, much like the narratives, it’s all tied closely to the characters and their personal journeys. Does the show say everything it needs to say well? Or is this another case of “If the show had more time it’d be better” and all that yada-yada? Well, let’s find out together as we count off the things that The Owl House has to say. Starting with a point the series makes exponentially clear:

(Also, prepare thyself. This one is twenty-five pages)

Honesty is the best policy 

I don’t know if you noticed, but these characters tend to lie. A LOT. And we’ve already gone into great detail with how often Luz lies in previous parts. Whether it's to her mom, her girlfriend, or friend group, Luz tends to keep some dark truths from the people she cares about. It’s partially selfish, but it comes from not wanting them to worry about her when they’re the ones currently going through it. It’s part of Luz’s bigger flaw of caring more for others than she does for herself (Which we’ll get to later), but the point remains constant that if she told the truth sooner, she’d have saved a lot of pain and heartache for herself and others. Same goes for other characters who lie for similar reasons but with greater consequences.

Going from least hurtful to most, let’s start with Eda, the one who lies in two different ways. The most obvious lies come with her pain, primarily the curse. She initially chose to keep her mouth shut about it, hoping that it’ll never turn into a big deal or a problem. If you’ve been paying attention to her character’s journey, you can tell how wrong that assumption was. When keeping it a secret from the rest of her family, the Owl Beast came out at the worst possible time, making Dell disabled and Gwen desperate to get the beast out of her precious daughter. By underplaying how bad it is to Raine, it makes Raine think their relationship isn’t serious enough so they break it off. She didn’t even tell Luz and King until they met the Owl Beast themselves and tried to survive it. Eda had King in her home for eight years and this was the first time he’s ever known ANYTHING about the Owl Beast. And even then, she still hides that it’s getting worse by the day, giving King and Luz an IDEA of what Eda’s going through but withholding the part that could upset them. Just telling them about the curse is arguably Eda at her most honest about what’s wrong with her, and she still doesn’t want to reveal everything. It’s part of this underlying problem where Eda’s unwilling to reveal the pain inside herself because, well, she’s the big bad Owl Lady. The most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. And with a title like that, she doesn’t want anyone to know that she’s fragile. She tried being fragile once in the beginning of “Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances,” detailing what the curse does to her, and it made her mother go a little overboard in wanting to help her precious daughter. Needless to say, she’s not willing to go through that again, especially since Luz and Raine proves her point by putting themselves in danger when knowing how much Eda hurts. When Luz learns about how bad the curse got, she practically threw herself into the arms of the Emperor to find this specific thing that could help. And with Raine, while Eda opened up more about the curse and how it affected her magic, she still remains tight lipped about another thing: Her kids. She never brought them up, hiding her turmoil about them leaving her for good and was lucky enough that Raine found out soon enough so that SHE won’t abandon Luz and King when they still need her. It’s fortunate that Raine found out by accident, but UNFORTUNATE that it led to them getting captured to save Eda so she could talk things out with her kids. In Eda’s eyes, vulnerability means that you need to be helped or protected, with the ones you love paying the price more. She hates that feeling and despises it even more when people she loves get in danger because of it. Eda eventually finds her way out of this mindset thanks to the love King and Luz share with her and how Hooty and Dell prove that facing pain head on is the only way to heal from it. It was a slow process, but one that eventually led to her opening up more, even allowing herself to cry when she would usually hide her pain with a smile or push it down for the sake of a brave face. She becomes honest with her own pain, with her curse, and how much she truly cares about her loved ones. However, that’s more of a general lie with Eda. There’s one specific lie that she told that went on for way too long.

Lying to King about being a King of Demons seemed harmless at first. Eda was just messing around with what she thought was a pet. Only for that pet to prove he’s more intelligent than she thought and, as a result, more delusional. King took being the King of Demons as part of his whole identity, with every action he made trying to live out that fantasy. By the time Eda revealed the truth, it’s like telling a child that there’s no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, AND the Tooth Fairy all at once. Only the effects would be ten times worse because it would destroy all of King’s sense of self AND give him questions that Eda wouldn’t have any answers to. Eda knew this inevitability would come any day now, so she put it off as long as she could, initially hoping that King would outgrow this fantasy himself so she won’t have to rip off this particular bandaid. Only to be backed into a corner because King and the others almost got killed in trying to prove that King’s really, well, a king. This time, telling a lie actually put someone in danger, so Eda tried the truth for a change and, well…it crushed him. More accurately, it shattered King’s core identity and sense of what's real and what isn't. Eda saw this, immediately felt guilty for holding it in for too long, but never comes to regret this decision. It’s something she KNEW needed to be done from the start and accepts the “consequences” of what comes from this lie. I put “consequences” in quotes because aside from a lot of tears being shed, this was the first step to King growing up and he would come to appreciate the honesty (even though he had a long, emotionally draining road ahead). Eda telling the truth WAS for the better, even if she should have told it long ago. But, all things considered, the lie wasn’t THAT bad of one. It was done to keep King happy and let him have some childhood innocence for a while…As for the lie AMITY told?

All Amity had to tell Willow was that her parents are forcing them apart because Willow’s family isn’t rich enough. That’s all. It wouldn’t have been great, but it would at least be the truth and Willow could have understood…Maybe. Well, there’s a slight possibility that Willow would have tried talking things out with Amity’s parents or continue to be friends despite them, not caring what they’ll do to her. Amity, not wanting to take that chance, decided it’d be best to make herself look like the bad guy. So, she lied that she doesn’t want to be friends with Willow because her magic is weak, thus distancing herself from her first real friend. Was it an extreme decision that crushed Willow’s heart and left her unsure if she’s capable of doing anything right? Yes. But to be fair…Amity said that lie when she was probably seven years old. I’d like to see what morally correct decision you made at seven.

But the first lie isn’t the worst part about Amity’s decision. In actuality, it’s how she decided to keep the lie going for years until Luz showed up and intervened. In Amity’s “defense,” which is really a frail excuse, she didn’t have any choice but to keep up the act. She already said it, it did its job, and now she has to commit to her lie or risk putting Willow in the warpath of her parents. Amity says it herself that she’s not brave enough to fight them for Willow, so she instead puts on a mask that makes her appear to be a mean girl and further separates herself from her now ex-friend. This led to Amity disrespecting Willow and belittling her because it’s better to have Willow hate Amity instead of let Odalia follow through on her threats. It wasn’t until Luz showed up and started improving Amity’s life that she realized that being nice FEELS nice. Is that an oversimplification? You better believe it is, but I talked about these three characters and this aspect of Amity and Willow’s relationship three parts in a row so LET ME SIMPLIFY! Anywho, it is good that Amity told the truth and it’s even better that she apologized, but it doesn’t change how the initial lie made things worse. In an attempt to protect Willow from Amity’s parents, she left Willow to face bullies and judgmental peers without anyone to comfort her or be in her corner. At least, not until she met Gus and then later Luz. It was almost a well-intentioned lie like Eda’s with King, but while Eda put off the truth to protect King’s innocence, Amity destroyed WILLOW’S with a single lie. By the time the truth came out, it finally STARTED the healing process. It didn’t fully heal Willow, but it STARTED to, with her admitting that making things right with Amity is what jump started her having more confidence. Confidence that she’d have since the beginning if Amity wasn’t the one to crush it by saying Willow being weak is the reason they can’t be friends anymore. Amity had her reasons, and I went over them thoroughly enough in previous parts (Go read THOSE), but it doesn’t change that Amity caused a lot of damage to Willow by lying about why they can’t be friends. On the bright side, while she did keep it going for too long, she at least made things right in about a couple years down the line. It’s not like she kept this one lie going for a dozen years until adulthood and letting things get so worse that it was almost too late to fix things. That would be AWFUL…Anyways, let’s talk about Lilith.

Lilith proves that a lie of omission still counts as a lie. For YEARS she kept in the secret of cursing Eda and for YEARS let Eda’s life get worse because of it. I’ll get to how thoroughly screwed up things got with Eda in a minute, but to keep things brief: Things would not have been as bad if Lilith fessed up sooner. There might have been a lot of yelling, a bruised nose, and Eda proclaiming she has no sister sooner, but time tends to heal all wounds. And they would have had more time to heal if Lilith spit the truth out at fourteen. She would have more time to fix things and prove that she can help Eda, just like how Amity started fixing things with Willow once revealing who was the REAL weak one in the relationship. Now, these are two VASTLY different scenarios and Eda would most certainly have been out for blood immediately, but I’m certain that if the rage settled they could have worked things out and Lilith might have helped Eda with the curse sooner. And, heck, if you go back FURTHER, there’s a chance that honesty could have stopped the curse altogether. If Lilith was honest about her own inadequacy and confessed to Eda about how she’s POSITIVE that her sister would win, Eda would have just shrugged and given the Emperor’s Coven position to Lilith no problem. Granted, joining that coven would have been its own can of worms, but it would have certainly saved Eda a lot of emotional and physical pain. Unfortunately, problems with showing weakness apparently run in the family and Lilith didn’t want to admit that she wasn’t stronger than her sister. She needed to PROVE it…by cheating and completely derailing Eda’s life in the most outrageous fashion. And Lilith would learn years later that the truth really does set one free. But again, I’ll get to that in a minute…

We all have our reasons for being dishonest. They’re selfish reasons in hindsight, but we still have them. Sometimes it’s to stop others from worrying about us, other times it's to hide something we’re ashamed of, and most of the time we just want to stall a bad reaction that we KNOW is inevitable. What we need to learn is that the truth ALWAYS comes out eventually, whether it's through us or through others. We can try to deny the truth, bury it, and hope that it never gets out, but it always does. And what The Owl House tells us is that it’s a GOOD THING for the truth to be out there, especially for loved ones. There might be secrets we HAVE to keep to ourselves, but if you can’t be honest with the people you love, then they can’t effectively help you nor can you help them. It’s always important to be as honest as you can be, because the more you put off the truth the worse the consequences will be. Because you never know how bad one action can snowball into something worse. Which brings me to another theme in the series…

Your actions can have unintended consequences

There are two characters this applies to: Luz and Lilith. You can…probably see where this is headed.

Luz and Lilith tend to make mistakes in the series, Luz more so than Lilith. Granted, Luz’s mistakes mostly stem from her character flaw of not thinking things through, mixed with some impatience and being afraid of confrontation. In other words: She’s a teenager. Dumb teens are going to do some dumb things, and while Luz is smarter than people will give her credit for, she’s still the kid who angered a Slitherbeast by stealing Amity’s wand when Eda’s lessons seemed like they were going nowhere. And that’s just a MINOR thing in Luz’s adventures. We already went over the domino effect last time and how Luz texting ONE LIE to Camila ended up putting her in a more stressful position than how telling the truth outright would have. There are also the many times Luz almost got herself killed, sometimes due to overconfidence or being too emotionally driven to take down someone threatening the people she loves. Most notable examples of that second one definitely comes from being hyper focused on fighting Lilith and Belos in “Young Blood, Old Souls,” which led to the destruction of the portal door and Luz struggling to get back home. Or how Luz thought she could take Belos head on again in "King's Tide," nearly getting petrified in the process if not for smooth talk and tricking him with an invisible branding glove. As for her near death experiences caused by overconfidence, well, let’s see: You have her going on that fake quest for Adeghast, pretending to be an abomination, fighting Grom, challenging Boscha to a grudgby match (That might as well count), and trying to steal the healing hat. And that’s just the stuff that happens in Season One, with some of it carrying over to MORE consequences aside from just almost dying. The wacky adventures in Hexside made Odalia think she has a case to get Luz, Willow, and Gus expelled. And when getting caught by stealing the hat and Lilith consequently using her as bait, it leads to Eda’s curse getting irrevocably worse and Luz being forced to destroy the portal during her attempt to save Eda from Belos. A part of growing up is learning that if you don’t think far enough ahead, you could cause disastrous consequences. Thankfully, for each mistake Luz makes, she is often quick to correct it when the problem arises at any time. Plus, after so many near-death experiences, it eventually molded Luz into becoming the kind of person who doesn't wants lasting consequences over something stupid she did, trying to be more careful in her approach to something. Because Lilith proves just how disastrous it can be to yourself and others if you don't think about the consequences.

The thing is, Lilith PARTIALLY knew the repercussions that came from cursing Eda. Simply put, Eda would have lost the duel and not join the Emperor’s coven. It was a selfish plan made by selfish desires, but Lilith believed she had things all figured out and that things SURELY wouldn’t snowball from there. Turns out, she didn’t think ahead enough (Yeah, big shock). Because everything that went wrong with Eda’s life is all Lilith’s fault. The Owl Beast attacking their dad? Eda running away from their mom? The distance Eda has with her whole family? Eda breaking up with Raine? It all circles back to the curse that Lilith put on her. Now, Eda owns partial blame as some of these were caused by HER actions that no one forced her to make. Yet the curse didn’t help much, especially as it got worse the older Eda got with her magic fading away with the curse’s effects. Lilith excuses this by saying she didn’t expect the curse to last more than a day, as if that actually means anything. Look, I get that she was young and very stupid, with her hyperfixation on joining the Emperor’s Coven blinding Lilith from what was right and wrong. But she still kept that secret for YEARS, not wanting to reveal it until she got a cure for Eda, only to make things worse not just because the curse got stronger and the distance with Eda and Lilith became greater. It’s because., by the time Lilith DOES spit out the truth, Eda’s already at her lowest point with the curse and is furious at Lilith for kidnapping Luz. Just like how Camila would have been LESS upset if Luz told the truth sooner, Eda would be significantly less blood thirsty if Lilith came out and admitted her guilt from the start. I said it with the honest theme: Time heals all wounds, and Luz and Camila prove that forgiveness CAN come if someone proves they’re sorry enough and had more time to reflect on their actions. Lilith was just afraid of that inevitable confrontation that she kept her mouth shut for YEARS to avoid it. She was too scared of facing her own consequences, and it’s why it’s a smart decision to let Lilith decide to SHARE the curse. It finally allows Lilith to understand what she put Eda through and express her apologies far better. It finally hammers into her mind what she did was wrong and how she can take the steps to improve things…We barely see any of this, but at least she’s NOW experiencing consequences for herself instead of letting someone else’s life get worse.

The Owl House does a great job of showing that anything we do, no matter how big or small, can always cause big problems for ourselves and others. There’s no changing that, and what matters most is how we react. If we wait too long, things can only get worse and it’s for the best to fix things as quickly as possible instead of pushing aside the inevitable. And be careful of what you do because you never know when one stupid idea could lead to something even worse for your future. However, while The Owl House does show how our actions have negative consequences, it is smart enough to say that the opposite is true. You see…

Your existence changes lives in unexpected ways

Whenever we do something bad, the domino effect it causes could lead to disastrous outcomes that we could never prepare for, but that doesn’t mean our existence is nothing but accidentally causing harm to ourselves and others. Existence is actually about changing the lives of people around us, a lot of the time for the better. And there’s no character that perfectly proves this more than Luz Noceda, who is the very reason that most people in the Isles is living their best lives.

“She also caused Belos to—”

SHE IS THE VERY REASON THAT THEY’RE LIVING THEIR BEST LIVES! Nearly every person she's come into contact with is better than they were before meeting Luz because she has this tendency to make life better through mere existence. Sometimes it’s unintentional, with Vee being the first person Luz helped. When Vee saw Luz in the Demon Realm, she saw that there was a chance to escape Belos and took it with no regrets…That is, until Luz showed up again, but it all worked out for the best. Vee got a home she felt safe in, friends to spend her life with, and a family that treats her as one of their own because Luz unintentionally gave her an out. And when Luz officially met Vee, she did everything to secure her future sister a safe space to live in. As for other characters Luz more DIRECTLY changed for the better, Eda and King are the first in that regard. They were looking for someone to steal something for them, only for Luz to bring them together as a family. She became the daughter that Eda never had but likely wished she did as Luz is just as chaotic as Eda was but with more of a good heart. Luz gave Eda someone to care for, someone to FIGHT for, as she proves that having someone in your life is a lot better than living alone as a criminal with her son being misconstrued as a pet. With Luz around, Eda allowed herself to love again, letting other people back in because she needs to when taking care of this fun, energetic girl that practically crashed into her life. And with King, Luz gave him someone that is almost ALWAYS on his side, being protective and caring towards this cute little guy who never had a friend before. Luz was the first person he’s consistently interacted with that’s anywhere CLOSE to King’s age, and she was there to offer warmth and snuggles, endless support in finding the truth about his people, and inspiration on how to handle someone like The Collector. With Luz’s help, King went from a greedy demon hungry for power that will never be his, to a sweet boy who learned that all he ever needed was the found family around him. Luz met two misfits who often fought but cared for each other, and brought them to become even closer as a family. A family that would be nothing without her, with the same going for Luz’s friends.

Luz formed her very own squad of pals, all of them coming together because she was there to make them close. Willow and Gus were already buddies when they met Luz, but she was still there to make things better between Willow and Amity and, through inadvertently meddling in Hunter’s life, made him and Gus the best of bros. The most unlikely of friendships, one rekindled while the other forged through adventure, all happened because Luz showed up and improved all their lives. I already THOROUGHLY went over how she was able to change Amity’s life for the better, so…go read that. As for Willow, Luz acted as a cheerleader that often pushed her first best friend to do something that was stupid and reckless but ultimately for the best. Whether it’s pretending to be an abomination or playing grudgby against a team’s captain, Luz nudging Willow towards adventures allowed her to find her true magical strength, face her bullies, and become a confident witch that Amity would relearn to respect and for Hunter to love. With Gus, while neither are as close to each other as they are with Willow, Luz still helped him get something he always wanted: More friends. Before Luz or Willow, Gus was looking for someone to like and respect him instead of using him as a way to get something they want. Then here comes Luz to not just be another friend but unintentionally give Gus the chance to make more of his own. She gave him glyphs to help impress Glandis kids, only to grow closer to Matt when someone like Bria started showing her true colors. And, again, meddling in Hunter’s life led to him and Gus going on an adventure that brought them together as bros. Now, how did meddling lead to that? Well, aside from giving Hunter his first social interaction with someone close to his age, accidentally giving him an emotional support bird, and being the first crack in the wall around his heart, Luz also took Hunter into the Emperor’s mind and completely shattered his worldview. By the time Gus found Hunter, the poor boy was shattered and desperate for comfort, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Gus was just the one there to pick up the pieces with Hunter paying him back when it was Gus’ turn to need help. Luz created this friend group where the kids all care and help one another and gives them the opportunities to grow and better themselves for the company they want to keep. These four wouldn’t be as close as they are without Luz. Willow, Gus, and Amity might not even have the CHANCE to meet Hunter or know who he is if not for Luz intervening and helping him out of Belos’ hold.

“But she still help free The Collector–”

Oh, you mean the child who was falsely imprisoned and needed to learn how to play nicely and safely with others? The same child who wouldn’t have been better if not for Luz teaching him the value of a mortal life? THAT Collector? Because you’re right. It is good that Luz helped free them, even if accidentally.

“But she still helped Belos–”

OKAY! Okay. I get it. You have this weird obsession with Luz accidentally helping Belos and believing that everything wrong with the Isles is because of her, regardless if it was an accident or not. Good for you and go f**k yourself. But let’s not forget that Luz is the reason why Belos’ regime toppled. Heck, she was doing that before she knew Belos was a problem. In Hexside, they limit students to stick to learning one magic track before graduating and picking one coven. It’s a blatant display of preparing them for the inevitable, only for Luz to come in and allow Principal Bump to realize maybe it’s worth letting kids sign up for multiple magic tracks before making a final decision. The results make the adults remember how much they miss their covenless days and a character like Jerbo being inspired to change the system when he grows up. Luz already started the gears turning to tear down the systems Belos built ALL IN her first day at Hexside no less. By the time she does meet Belos and see how clearly evil he is, Luz still goes about trying to ruin every part of his plan. Luz slows down his plans to flee the Isles after committing genocide by blowing up the portal door, she saves the palismen Belos would have used to extend his worthless life, and goes so far to help Lilith and Hunter, his most loyal soldiers, turn their backs on him. Luz was cleaning up the “mess” she made for helping Belos long before she knew she was “responsible,” which she wasn’t. Belos knew this, and it’s exactly why he revealed that Luz helped him with his plans, even though he could have tricked anybody. He used this ploy to trip Luz up, only for it to make her more determined to stop him…until the guilt became too much to bare at one point, but that’s where her friends, the support group that SHE cultivated because of HER actions, came in to encourage Luz and tell her nothing is her fault. And when Luz came back…she died. But the Titan, the GOD of this universe, took note of Luz’s actions and all that she did to give King a good life as a shining light of kindness and would then give Luz the powers she needed to come back, rip Belos out of the Titan’s heart, and let him melt away in the boiling rain. You can claim all you want that Belos’ rule is all because of Luz, but Luz still ruined all of his plans and stopped him for good, doing it intentionally and unintentionally. Meaning that everything she “caused” was being fixed by her own existence.

…Okay, might have went on a bit of a rant there, But I can’t help it! You see, I made a post THREE YEARS ago, listing the ways Luz improved lives and how that wouldn’t have happened if she never came to the Isles. And one person, on THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS, replied to that post and mentioned how those problems wouldn’t have existed if Luz never came at all. And it just feels like it devalues Luz’s accomplishments, the good that she did, and takes away some of the blame from Belos. Luz didn’t force him to use coven sigils or steal palisman or even commit genocide. That was all him and if it wasn’t Luz it would’ve been someone else he tricked to get what he wanted. We don’t blame Hitler’s dictatorship on the guy who stopped him from stepping into traffic before having the chance to DO all those bad things, and we definitely don’t blame the fourteen year old who couldn’t tell that the spineless, shaggy human would become the most dangerous person on the Isles. Because if you want to go so far back as to blame Luz, then you can blame Eda too. After all, she’s the one who told Luz about the time pools, she’s the one who allowed Luz to stay, and she’s even the one who’s responsible for Luz coming to the Isles in the first place! Yet you don’t see people blaming HER for all the world’s problems, do you? No, you f**king DON'T…Though, now that I think about it, if we could transition to this finger pointing and unnecessary blaming, there are some positive things Eda’s existence brought out into the world.

Real quick: I’m not saying that everything good that happened to the Isles and Luz’s friends is because of Eda. Only a lunatic would go that far. What Eda DOES get credit for is how she gave her kids a better life. Luz was from a world where most kids never got her or her weird interests and actions. She was a social outcast looking to be understood and Eda gave her that chance of understanding. She brought Luz into a magical world, protecting her from its darker edges, giving her a chance to explore, and letting her find her people. Eda found a kid who was alone in her own world and brought her to one that would eventually greet her with open arms. Things weren’t perfect at first, as Luz almost died three times within her first week, but with Eda’s guidance and care, she gave Luz a place she could call a second home and two people she could call an extension to her family. Speaking of family, Eda is the reason why King has one. She saw a little creature that lived in the cave of a dangerous monster, took him home with her, and that creature grew up to be her pseudo son. She treated him as a pet at first, thinking nothing of it, but as she grew to realize his intelligence and childlike behavior, she started treating him more like a son. Plus it’s a good thing that she got King out of that spire. He would have grown up alone as the last of his species with no one but the mute Jean-Luc as company. By taking him with her, Eda gave King a warm home, good food, and, eventually, Luz. All that is before King legally made himself a Clawthorne, making his family larger and causing Eda to cry tears of joy because she grew to love the little. She grew to love BOTH her kids as she wouldn’t be the same without them just like how they wouldn’t be the same without her. Eda didn’t think much when taking these two in, she was only being charitable. Still, regardless of intention, Eda managed to improve the lives of two innocent kids that needed more love in their life.

Life is a chaotic thing, giving us consequences to our negative actions but also rewards ourselves and others through the mere act of existing. Sometimes we’re rewarded and other times the people we love are. In either case, we can never truly know how much a simple action can affect someone’s life, whether or not we intend to do so. If Luz is any indication, as well as Eda to a lesser extent, then the show is trying to tell us that your life might seem small and your choices smaller, but you’d be surprised by how big of an impact you can leave on the world just by being yourself. It’s a beautiful sentiment that the show stands by, being one of several ways it tries to tell people that they matter. Especially with this next theme.

There’s nothing wrong with who you are

In case you’re wondering, no, this isn’t about how the show normalizes sexualities, genders, different races, and overall equality. Though, real quick, that IS a valid and important aspect of the series that not enough people took into account, meaning that we SHOULD spread that message more so that it can stick. However, for this theme, it’s more than just about representation and letting many different kinds of people feel seen as individuals. It’s more about the image issues that a few different characters have.

Starting with the most obvious, we have Willow, The Owl House’s shy girl. The poor girl starts off so unsure of herself because she’s not as good as others in one specific kind of magic even though it’s obvious to everyone in the room what Willow’s real talent is. It doesn’t help that most of her classmates judge and make fun of Willow for her “weakness,” with the time she had on the show being spent proving to herself and others that she isn’t weak. It’s why when Willow DOES mess up or feels unable to help that it causes her to break down and think that maybe she is just “Half-A-Witch Willow” like all of her bullies say. Thankfully, she has her support system to be there for her, Luz and Gus constantly acting as cheerleaders to raise Willow’s spirits and Hunter sharing how much he admires her strength and kindness. Interestingly enough, he also has the same confidence issues as Willow, having no natural magic and always pushing himself twice as hard to be seen as an equal among his peers, who are some of the best witches in the Isles. They’re also GROWN witches who had more time to mature their magical capabilities, but nonetheless, it made Hunter constantly feel like he wasn’t good enough either. It’s what makes him and Willow having each other in their corner kind of beautiful. Most of the people they see everyday look down on them, with Willow and Hunter not doing themselves any favors. But together, they can remind each other that they ARE worth more than anyone bargained for. Though, they don’t JUST have each other. Again, Willow has her cheerleaders and Hunter eventually has Flapjack pulling him in the right direction. To be honest, I’ve said all that I’ve needed to say with these two, how they grew, and how they affected each other. Or rather how Willow affected Hunter, as it’s still mostly one-sided. If you want to find out why, just go back and read parts one and two, it clears things up better. For now, I’ll say that these two definitely had their fair share of confidence issues, with Willow’s being obvious from the start while Hunter’s became more apparent the more his heart opened up. When you’re surrounded by people you think are “better” than you, it’s easy to feel like you matter less despite your own talents. But in some cases, a lot like Hunter, people are better at hiding it.

Take a look at Eda. With the amount of confidence that she has and the ego she flaunts, you wouldn’t guess she has image issues. But then you look at the curse and it all becomes clear. Eda’s regrets, nightmares, and worries proves that she does care about how others see her and react to her bad side. It’s not as prevalent or as evident as Willow or Hunter’s issues but it’s still there, with things getting worse when the curse took away Eda’s magic. She’s no longer the most powerful witch on the Isles, losing all the fear and respect she’s garnished and is now forced to relearn to be powerful in different ways. She bounces back but not without a lot of frustration, more towards herself if anything else. Eda hates the fact that she’s “weak” now and was desperate to get herself back to the top as quickly as possible. It’s not until she learned that her curse can become a strength instead of a weakness did Eda really begin to feel better about herself. I mean, I’d probably feel better about myself too if I could suddenly transform into a hot harpy. She certainly isn’t complaining, and good for her. She proves that you can always get over your issues, no matter how long it takes. For Eda, it might’ve taken her late thirties or…early forties? Regardless of how old Eda is, it definitely took a long time to get better and, even then, she still has The Collector's manufactured nightmare about people seeing her as a monster, which clearly got to her. The unfortunate truth is that it takes time to heal and you won’t be completely cured. There are times you will have good days or bad days, with Eda representing that through her false, and sometimes honest, bravado that tends to hide how messed up her issues really are. It’s good to show kids how slow that progress can be, even if it’s handled in a way that’s not as noticeable. However, while one’s issues can take time to fix, others’ tend to get worse with more time and, of course, more trauma.

Luz definitely had her issues, even before the whole Belos thing. She hoped being a “chosen one” would help her fit in, was worried about being seen as fragile, and became concerned about tanking her reputation on the first day of going to Hexside. Luz may be a proud nerd at heart, but she’s also one who cares about how others see her, whether it’d be her classmates or the people close to her. It comes with spending years of others signaling Luz out as “the weird girl,” with the Boiling Isles giving her a fresh start. Luz can be whatever she wants, even the hero of her own story…only to feel worse about herself once growing some attachments. Every time she accidentally caused troubles for other people, it caused Luz to sometimes believe she was a burden and needed to fix any problem she indirectly caused. Just look at how Luz reacted to accidentally making Amity lose her job. After getting it back for her, Luz was ready to accept that Amity would never want to see her again, despite Amity sharing the blame for it. Because Luz, at her core, is a good person, and it hurts her deep down when she sometimes hurts the people she loves in this world that she feels more at home in. It’s why Belos telling Luz that she helped him with his genocide affects her so much. It’s not true, everyone in the show knows it’s not true, and even members of the fandom who aren’t idiots know that Belos is full of crap. His actions are still his own and what Luz did is nothing wrong compared to his horrible deeds. Yet it still gets to Luz because it takes all of her issues of feeling like a burden turned up to the highest degree because she blames herself for the Day of Unity happening and all the craziness that comes from it. It hurts her so much that she forgets one important detail: She’s just a kid. Her mistakes are common, but nothing to beat herself up over. She’s still growing and learning to be better, not having the mental or emotional maturity to know better than to trust a shaggy man that claims to be on her side. As long as Luz makes it clear that she regrets what she did wrong and learned from it, which she always does, there’s no one with a rational mind that will blame her. It’s why it hurts that Luz doesn’t think she deserves it. Even though everybody constantly reminds Luz that life is better because she’s in it, it’s still something hard for her to accept. The times she accidentally caused trouble back home likely attributed this behavior, having only Camila in Luz’s corner as everyone else was busy calling her a freak or a problem child. Sometimes when you’re told your whole life that you’re a problem, it’s hard to stop seeing yourself as one. That’s Luz to a T, and it’s not until she found people that understood her and how she’s neither a problem nor a screw up did Luz slowly start to believe it, even though part of her can’t help but go back to the guilt she felt about things she didn’t mean to do.

We all have our reasons for self-doubt and sometimes self-hatred. It can stem from how others see us, how we see ourselves, or sometimes how we BELIEVE others see ourselves. And it can be an issue that could unfortunately last decades, where we get better but not completely healed of what hurts us. The only way to help ease that pain is remembering, simply put, there’s nothing wrong with who we are. Are there times when people SHOULD improve themselves? Absolutely. But if you’re anything like Willow, Hunter, Eda, and Luz, you should know that there’s not much you need to improve aside from your attitude. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll go back to how you feel, and you will find it hard to get over this problem you’re dealing with. But with the people you love cheering you on and reminding you that you ARE loved in this world, then that’s already the first step you need. And if you think you’re not someone worth the effort as there are more people suffering harder than you, just remember…

Your pain matters too

Sometimes, the nicest kinds of people tend to think that the problems of others outweigh anything that they’re going through. Especially those who lived most of their lives being told that they matter less than anyone else. And…you can already tell which two characters this theme applies to.

Luz and Willow are both victims of caring too much. You wouldn’t think that’s an issue, but it very much becomes one when helping others stop you from helping yourself. Luz is a more popular example of this as she will frequently throw herself into danger just to help the people she loves. She’ll even treat helping someone as a distraction to her problems like helping Eda reunite with Raine and getting Kikimora out of the Emperor’s Coven to forget Luz’s promise to her mom. Or using Amity’s desire to join the Bonesborough Brawl as a way not to think about her dad. Luz constantly decides helping people is more important than anything she could be going through, with Willow being in a similar yet less intense boat. “For the Future” proves this, with Willow hyper focusing on making Hunter happy and suppressing her own stress and anxieties of her fathers as she did so. It’s exactly what Luz does throughout the series, just as a one-time occurrence that Willow learns from quickly. Her caring for others more than herself fits her good-natured attitude, but after her talk with Hunter and Gus it’s likely Willow won’t return to this behavior again…Which in turn presents a problem with Luz and this theme.

That moment between Gus, Hunter, and Willow in “For the Future” is great, but it feels like LUZ needed a moment like that with the people she loves. She KIND OF gets it with Amity in “Reaching Out,” but not to the same extent Willow got with her boys. Amity just boxed Luz into a corner and forced her to spit out what’s bothering her, with the truth and how Amity reacted to it making Luz think she can be a little honest with her feelings. Only for her to go right back to distracting herself so she doesn’t confront her emotions in the very next episode, with Eda helping out by telling Luz the story of how she first met Raine. Meanwhile, Gus and Hunter told Willow that they appreciate her and everything she’s done for them, but tell her it’s okay to feel sad and to let it all out. And…Well, since there was only one episode left after that moment and all of it was dedicated to fighting the bad guys and giving our characters happy endings, all we can do is assume that Willow DID learn from her adventure in “For the Future” and grew from it. Even though Luz sort of gets that same lesson, there’s never this explicit case that she’s growing from it. If you dig deep enough in how she slowly admits what’s wrong or how she’s willing to vocalize her journal entry about what’s bothering her, then you can see that Luz learns a little. But when she’s the character that constantly puts others' needs above her own, especially for mistakes she didn’t intend, then it feels weird that she doesn’t get the same thing Willow got. If anything, it makes what Willow went through feels more like a lesson of the week than an application of this underlying theme within the series. It’s still a valid lesson to teach, but if this was something both Luz AND Willow needed to learn then Willow needed more moments in the spotlight of putting others' needs in front of her own and Luz needed more of a scene like Willow’s to better herself. It’s still fine as is, it just could have been better.

Still, it’s an overall good theme to teach kids. The Owl House is clearly telling them to be kind to others, primarily through its main character being the purest one of the bunch. But as good and important it is to spread the message of kindness, it’s equally essential to let them know it’s okay to focus on themselves sometimes too. You’re not going to properly help anyone if YOU’RE not feeling good yourself. Whether you just need to cry it out or talk it out with someone you love, it’s important to think of yourself from time to time. It’s not selfish to care about your own well-being and you won’t be a bad person for taking a day to just…decompress. You can do much worse than make yourself happy. As for those who HAVE done worse, well, there’s a theme meant for them.

People can always improve

The Owl House is one of those shows that spreads the message of turning enemies into friends instead of leaving them as, er, enemies. And if it’s enough to piss off Lily Orchard (Don’t bother with her), then you KNOW the show is doing something right. But in fairness, the show makes it clear that this decision is best reserved for those who are explicitly complex. Just look at Amity, Lilith, Hunter, and The Collector, characters we would have never expected to be reformed by their first appearances. Amity started out as generic prissy mean girl #115, Lilith was a snooty witch with a stick up her bum, Hunter was a charismatic fighter who threatened the lives of “criminals,” and The Collector was a god-like being who seemed to take joy in wiping out an entire race of people. Not great setups for characters you eventually want us to find redemption. Thankfully, The Owl House is a smartly written show and knows that you got to show layers to a person and why they’re like a certain way.

Amity and Hunter are by far the best examples of this. Every episode they’re in shows a new layer to them and the lives they live. To keep things brief (because I’ve talked enough about them already), they’re both kids who grew up with parental figures that made them believe that you have to always do what you’re told to justify your existence. Odalia and Belos both proved that there will be major punishments for when Amity and Hunter fail, motivating them to do their best for the wrong reasons. And doing their best often meant putting others down or doing something without knowing better because…what else could you do? Run away? Fight back? Stand up for yourself? Yeah, easier said than done. Hunter is proof that it’s not that simple, with Belos physically mistreating Hunter whenever he spoke up or how Belos WILL send his guards out to hunt Hunter down. Not everyone can be like Amity who has a parent that EVENTUALLY cares enough to kick the more abusive parent out. Sometimes, when you’re on your own with no real support group, it causes you to do as you're told without learning until later that it was the wrong choice. Amity and Hunter both show that, and it isn’t until meeting their friends that things start to change for the better for them. And they sure did change, with Amity and Hunter always getting a little bit better, even if their living conditions made it a bit difficult to do so. Plus, they’re kids. Kids are allowed to grow and change, especially if they’re always learning from their mistakes before doing something TRULY unforgivable. Unlike…other characters that I’m not a fan of in a different show I tried so hard to love. And when it comes to fictional storytelling, especially ones aimed for kids, I usually try not to avoid the “They’re just kids” argument because…yeah, obviously they’re just kids. That doesn’t change how well the writers handle their redemption, because if I’m left questioning if this character is MEANT to be redeemed, something screwy is going on here. With The Owl House, the writers consistently remind you that these characters are young and naive, with that knowledge playing into Amity and Hunter’s redemptions as it makes it an easier pill to swallow. And it doesn’t work JUST for these two.

The Collector being a kid is the central point to their redemption. He literally doesn't know better and–I’ve also gone over this a lot too, I know. But the point keeps being valid every time you look at The Collector’s actions. Even with the way they put Luz, Eda, and King into playing his weird games, The Collector still sits down and mopes because they all kept winning. It’s very much the same as a sad, lonely child who doesn’t like losing or people having more fun than them. All The Collector wanted was to play and have fun, but was punished for it because his siblings abused The Collector’s naïveté and made it look THEY were responsible for the other Titans…going extinct. And being falsely imprisoned for thousands of years tends to leave one a little agitated, as well as overly excited to be free and let loose. He didn’t do better because they never KNEW better, with Luz understanding that after just ONE real conversation with the kid. She was as freaked out as anyone else when first meeting The Collector, but, just like with Hunter and Amity, the more Luz got to know him the better she understood why The Collector acts the way they do. Everyone has reasons for their actions, some of them more justified than others. And even for the unjustifiable, it’s not too late to turn things around.

Lilith’s redemption still has some issues. Again, I VERY MUCH went over that enough. Yet it again comes with the best intentions of proving that you’re never too old to change. Lilith cursing Eda was wrong. VERY wrong. But she at least admitted to it and put the work into making up with her sister, already off to a great start by sharing the curse with Eda. Sure, Lilith still felt aggravation towards Eda and would occasionally act a LITTLE stuck upish, but the more Lilith stuck around the more it’s revealed how desperate she is for approval. Even a quick bit of Lilith making a little ice sculpture of Luz as a teacher giving Lilith a gold star speaks VOLUMES of her need for authority figures to give Lilith approval. Even if said authority figure is a fourteen year old who just knows more about glyph magic than Lilith. It also helped that Lilith had Hooty there, bringing out her best and bringing some levity in her life. It makes her from thinking that she’s at the lowest point of her life to realizing that life just got started for her and that she CAN make improvements, have better connections with the people, and can be a kinder person instead of a cold, stick in the mud. And with each episode we see her in Season Two, Lilith DID get better as a character and as a person, finding her true self and proving that you don’t NEED to be dragged through the coals forever to better yourself…Even if a sick part of me kind of wishes she was. I just feel like everyone forgave Lilith a little too fast, and while improving herself is fine, forgiveness is a completely different thing. But I also went over THAT enough, so I’ll just stick with the fact that while Lilith’s redemption is the most flawed here, it still does the job to prove that people are never just one thing forever.

People can change, and a lot of the time it’s for the better. They might have done things they’re not proud of or learn to regret, but everyone has a reason for it. Whether it’s how they’re raised to act, how their goals blind their morals, and quite literally didn’t know better. For these people, it’s always best to give them a second and maybe even third chance, especially if they have a clear desire to change. Some certain cynical sycophants will sometimes say that a character shouldn’t be redeemed because they don’t deserve it, but that’s not really how redemption works. It’s not about DESERVING redemption but proving you’re capable of it. When a show paints how a character is always bad and needs to change yet consistently goes back and forth on them being better or worse without much apparent growth, then that’s where it becomes a problem within the story. But if the show reveals layers to a character, proving that they’re flawed but good deep down and allowing that character to better themselves throughout the story, then it’s writing the message correctly. There are cases where there’s a good person deep down a LOT of hot garbage, with a lot of morally dark actions burying them deeper, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t forget that bright light of a human being that still wants to do good and trying desperately to claw their way out of their own pile. It’s…a complicated metaphor, but people are just the same as that: Complicated. We can grow and be better, it just takes time and love to do so. Although, to teach a message like that to kids, it is important to make one thing clear…

Some people don’t deserve redemption/forgiveness

This is the most ESSENTIAL distinction to make when writing a show about bringing the best out of others and getting them to change and redeem themselves. Yes, there are people capable of being good but there are still people out there who are too far gone to change or refuse to see how they’re a problem on all accounts. You can reason all you want with them or try your hardest to bring them out into the light, but no matter what you do, they’ll still refuse to accept that they’re the problem.

Kikimora is a perfect starting example of this. “Follies At the Coven Day Parade” was our first and…honestly, It’s our ONLY insight into there being more to Kikimora than a psycho who’s very okay with child murder. Luz catches Kiki getting stressed over not being able to see her family due to her duties being more important. The Owl House has done more with less when it comes to trying to hook viewers into sympathizing with characters worthy of redemption. I mean, just look at what they eventually try with Boscha. Besides, you don’t need a BIG reason to help someone into the light. As long as it seems like there’s a GLIMMER of a hope, then that can be enough to make it justified to help them. It’s only dependent on how quickly that glimmer gets stomped out that you realize mistakes were made in helping someone. To Kikimora’s credit, it seemed at first she was grateful for Luz and the others to help her be free of the Emperor’s Coven, even if a little annoyed by their flawed plan and ridiculous antics. It’s not until Terra (We’ll get to you in a sec) mentioned a promotion did Kikimora’s true colors show. When it seems like she’s at her lowest, Kikimora is willing to find an out so she doesn’t get disposed of like your average Golden Guard (Which she might have always known about?). But when it seems like she has a chance to be on top? Well, then Kiki will say her family could rot for all she cares if it means she’ll be seen as the best of the best. It’s that desire to inflate her already big ego, mixed with the insane drive to do so, that proves how Kikimora isn’t one to change because she has no desire to. Her only desire is to look out for herself and do what’s best for her, but to a selfish degree that often leads to others getting hurt. To Kikimora, the only problems that she needs to take care of are those who try to prevent her goals of reaching to the top. And she’s not the only one.

It still amazes me how Amity desperately tried to convince Odalia not to assist a genocide. I said it before, and I’ll say it one more time: This was Amity’s last attempt at proving that her mother isn’t evil. And we all know how well that turned out. The reason that it amazes me that Amity even TRIED because…there hasn’t been an ounce of kindness that Odalia showed to anyone. With Alador, there’s at least SOMETHING, whereas the nicest thing Odalia did was compliment on Alador’s work. Still, even then, it isn’t much given that she didn’t really know how much Alador would appreciate the compliment. So if Odalia never acted good, why bother reaching out? Well, as I’ve said several times before, it’s hard for a child to accept that their parent has ZERO good inside them. Amity wanted to see for herself, once and for all, if there’s really NOTHING good in Odalia and the answer…was exactly what she needed to hear. Even if it’s baffling that Amity tried to reach out, it’s still good that she did. It’s always important to at least TRY instead of giving up on someone outright. Amity more than anyone knows that not everyone is completely bad, so it’s great that she and kids watching understand that sometimes what you see really is what you get. A better example of this is Terra.

No one really tried with Terra. Specifically, no one in the CAST tried with her. The most people did was try to reign Terra in and tell her NOT to kill children and that didn’t really change anything. The fact that Terra RELUCTANTLY agreed just proves how deranged she is and how no sane person would want to change her. The writers knew this as even they didn’t try giving Terra that many layers outside of a crazy person who liked torturing the youths. And given that this is a series that loves showing how most of its characters are layered with a few of them deserving redemption, it’s perfectly fine to show one that’s one-dimensional and bloodthirsty. It helps sell the fact that not EVERYONE is redeemable, like having Season One Boscha act as a one-dimensional bully to make Amity’s redemption more digestible. You got to show a bigger bully to prove how the other isn’t so bad, and that’s what makes Terra so important. She’s the bigger bully, and her actions prove that while SOME people are capable of change, others like Terra are more than fine with who they are. And I’ll give Terra this, at least she’s sociopathic enough to understand she’s the bad guy and LOVES that about herself. Unlike others who genuinely believe what they’re doing is for the greater good.

Belos is the best example of how some people will just NEVER change. It’s never too late for one to redeem themselves in some way, but Belos has been living among witches and demons for CENTURIES. He had hundreds of years to see that there’s nothing wrong with who they are and take note that they’re kind people just living life and not really hurting anybody. Instead, he focused on the bad parts. The witches who made him dance for his book. Lilith, who punched him in the nose. And, of course, the witch who stole his brother away. These all circle around in his brain for as long as he lived, ignoring the TRUTH behind these responses. The Fang brothers and Lilith only treated Belos that way because he killed the Fangs’ brother and put Luz and Lilith in danger for his own reward. As for Evelyn, she didn’t STEAL Caleb away, he willingly followed her to a new world. Yet Belos refused to see anyone else’s point of view and that witches were ALWAYS the problem. Never him, and not anyone else. So he dedicated his entire life to fulfilling his plan, mutilating himself and becoming less human by the day, all so he could wipe out witches and demons from existence. He justified it because of his idea of the greater good, believing he was some tragic hero pushing himself to do what’s best for humanity. In reality, he was just a sad old man who never took the time to ask “What if I’m wrong?” And if he DID ask that, well, he likely suppressed that thought deep, deep, DEEP down inside himself so he wouldn’t have to think it again. Belos was a monster that would never change because he didn’t think he needed to despite having all the time, all the chances, to see that he could be wrong only to deny and refuse any other possible answer. Not even Luz, who forgave most of her enemies, wasn’t even willing to give Belos a chance, appealing only to his ego instead of his humanity as she knew full well he wouldn’t listen. The only person who really tried with Belos was The Collector, a child who learned the concept of kindness and forgiveness for the first time in their life and didn’t know better. If that doesn’t say a lot about Belos, I don’t know what does.

It’s always important to preach the message of helping people better themselves. There are good people in this world and it’s admirable to help those who want to be good but need to learn or relearn how. However, not EVERYONE is going to be like that. One way or another, they don’t see themselves as someone who needs to change. They either think there’s nothing wrong with them or believe that the rest of the world should change itself first. You can TRY to reach out to them and maybe you’ll succeed in some way with a few of these people. Just don’t feel too disappointed when it turns out that some people are too broken to fix. In that regard, there’s not much you could do to help them and you’ll often find yourself fighting against them. And you might want to make sure none of those people get too big of a dangerous job, because you’re not going to like what they’re capable of. You’ll see why in this next theme.

The ones who make the rules are sometimes the most dangerous

Not ALL the time, mind you. There are SOME nice people running things…probably. But not EVERY person should be in charge. There are those who abuse the system for the chance of lifting themselves up higher or hurting those whose only crime is existence. They have their “reasoning,” but it always boils down to excuses in some ways. It’s always based on “How they’re raised” or “It’s based on what their religion says.” While that explains their actions, never does it justify anything they’ve done as it’s a weak shield against the arguments about their moral character. Your upbringing and religion doesn’t stop you from coming across as a turd nugget, and if you’re wondering who I’m calling out with this, it’s the kind of people that Belos represents.

The absolute tragedy is that there are people in real life who are a lot like Belos. It’s just that he’s exaggerated for a storytelling effect and to keep things simple for the kiddos. Regardless of that, he still acts like those you’d see and hate. He’s a maniacal, manipulative leader who made the ranks through lies, smooth talk, and telling people what they want to hear. Because when you act like you know better than others, and do so with enough confidence, you’d be surprised with how easily people will be convinced to follow someone who speaks nothing but nonsense. And nonsense really is the name of Belos’ game, as he manipulated a group of people’s sacred beliefs and formed a religious oligarchy just so he could kill those he was manipulating in the first place. As far as my admittedly limited political knowledge goes, there hasn’t been a person that’s gone THAT far, as most of them actually believe the crap they’re saying. It’s just Belos who manipulates beliefs to get his way. The Witches consider the Titan their god? Then he’ll use that god to make them think he’s unhappy with how witches use magic. It’s similar to how people use the “It’s not what God would want” when making their stance on other people’s rights, except it’s not THEIR god that Belos believes in. He’s a puritan who thinks that all these sins he’s committing to the people of the Isles is worth it because it’s what HIS god wants. And for the record, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with believing in God or any god for that matter. But if you really believe that God would want you to kill others to appease him when his teachings boil down to love and forgiveness, then I don’t think you’re worshiping God the right way. That’s something Belos doesn’t realize, as he would twist his own soul into a pretzel for the sake of his “holy mission.” Yet that mission was nothing more than a shield to hide behind his discrimination. Much like other “leaders” in the world.

Am I projecting how I see certain scumbags on social media onto Belos? Most definitely, but I feel like Dana Terrace is most certainly doing the same thing. Look at any conservative online and tell me that they don’t have similar mindsets to Belos. Because to me, they definitely do, and it’s the way Belos transformed the Isles that makes me worry about those real life dingles. Especially with how REAL the Isles feel in that regard. Oh, things seem fine. In fact, things are relatively normal with people living their lives without any real negatives. That is, as long as you join a coven, otherwise you’ll be marked for death if you break the one important rule. Everything seems to be alright for everyone who stays in line and follows the rules, much like real life society. We can live normally and be at peace as long as we ignore the problems that exist, do as we’re told, and never CONSIDER straying from the path. And that acceptance of how things are is exactly what the bad guys in charge use to get what they want. They spread their message to those who WANT to listen and are fine with what’s being preached, all while painting those who say otherwise as the purest of evil. When, nine times out of ten, it’s usually the person preaching that crap who turns out to be the real scumbag. They don’t want you to think differently or question why things are the way they are, either because they don’t want their own place in the world to be challenged or, like Belos, they actually believe that people who are “other” are actually evil. It’s why he gave these people, who were initially content with their lives, a system that seemed to encourage in-fighting, proving that you’re the best at a specific skill, and letting others climb to be the most powerful in the world for the sake of their god. Belos devised a way for witches to basically fight each OTHER, temporarily playing the long game so he can stall until finding a way to kill them all at once when his time was starting to run out.

I wouldn’t say that the show is ENTIRELY anti-government. If it was, the ending wouldn’t have implied that Raine and Darius have basically started their own. To me, the show is more likely saying that you need to be careful in who you put your faith in to lead you. Not EVERY politician is evil, but none of them are saints either. A lot of them have ulterior motives for letting them lead, with a person like Belos showing just why we should be wary of who to trust. Belos may be an exaggerated worst case scenario, but one that’s very much possible if we don’t prepare well enough to stop those just like him. As for who’s who, well, that’s up to your own beliefs and research to find out. Just remember that even though someone is in charge, that doesn’t mean they have your best intentions in mind. Though, keep in mind, this is mostly about the people in politics. There are authority figures you should be wary of, but most of the ones who know you personally are trying to keep you safe. It’s the ones that have known you for years. Ones who want to make sure you’re having the best life. And while they’re not always right, there are some out there who want to do right by you. And what authority figures are those? Why, your parents of course!

…Look, I wrote myself into a corner and I needed a good transition into the next theme. I know parents are nowhere NEAR the same government officials or those who uphold the law, but they at least uphold the law in YOUR house. Though, some of them aren’t perfect at it.

Parenting isn’t easy

There are a LOT of parents that do their best in this show. The only real exception is Odalia because…she’s Odalia. It’s the rest that shows they’re doing all they can to give their children a better life. Willow’s dads are willing to give up their jobs to continue Willow’s education when she’s expelled, Perry wants to support Gus’ talents, and, hell, even one of Boscha’s moms seems desperate to be a part of her daughter’s life by asking to join in on the Moonlight Conjuring. There are some decent parents in this show, but not a lot of them tend to get credit for their efforts. Mainly because, in some cases, their efforts aren’t good enough to those who’ve had…similar experiences that turned out for the worst. Those types of people tend to not feel good when a show says, “Give your parents the benefit of the doubt.” You can…already tell where this is going, and I want those fans to know that their emotions are valid and, if I were in their shoes, I would feel the same way. However, I think there’s some value in how The Owl House tries pointing out a parent’s love is the most essential part done right, even if some parents tend to fumble at first.

Starting with the most forgiving, we have…Camila.

“LE GASP!”

DO NOT get me wrong: Camila is still the best parent in the show and one of the best cartoon moms of all time…That doesn’t mean she hasn’t made any mistakes. In fact, Camila acknowledging her mistakes is part of what makes her one of the best parents. She was a single mother trying her best to raise Luz right, but got lost along the way due to how OTHERS perceived Luz, not so much how CAMILA saw her. She loved Luz’s wackiness and oddities, it’s what made Luz…Luz. Camila was just worried because not everyone would feel the same way, and that would mean Luz would not fit in with…anyone. And with everybody judging Luz and even judging CAMILA, it left her feeling pressured to make a change to fix the situation. Her fault was that Camila decided on sending Luz away to a camp in an effort to help her daughter, only for that to make Luz feel like SHE’S the problem. It’s not what Camila intended, but it’s how her actions came across, and it immediately left some bad tastes in some fans’ mouths. Some of it was very unwarranted as too many jumped on the hate wagon by calling Camila a bad mom who doesn’t love her daughter despite a fair amount of evidence pointing to the contrary. Still, when she does things like send Luz away or unintentionally guilt Luz into thinking she can never return to the Isles, some fans can’t help but see their own dismissive or possessive parents, even if Camila isn’t meant to be like that. She’s a mother trying her best and made a few mistakes along the way. She at least learned from her mistakes, managed to be better, and was given more depth for why she acted this way. And her character was certainly more well-received than other problematic parents doing their best.

If you couldn’t guess already, Gwen and Alador are the other two. I’ve said ALL that I’ve needed to say about them, there’s no need to stretch it out further, and so I’ll just speed by them. Firstly, they’re both characters where you understand the intention the writers were going for. They’re meant to be parents who genuinely love their kids but went about supporting or helping them the wrong way. Gwen was a mother who wanted to cure her daughter’s curse at all costs due to the pain it caused Eda and the rest of the family. She just ignored Eda’s feelings about the matter, not being satisfied unless the curse is gone FOREVER. And all that ignoring led to Eda distancing herself from Gwen because of all the intense and ineffective treatments, with an extra side-effect of Gwen ignoring Lilith because her problems weren’t as “important” as the one she caused. Though, that last bit might have been a thing long before the curse. At least, that’s what’s implied. Her actions were less than ideal, and to some fans, it would take more than a single “I’m sorry” to make things right. Unfortunately for Gwen, she never really got a chance to prove she’s forever changed like Camila did. Outside of redeeming herself at the end of her introductory episode. The next time we see her, she drops the news to Eda that Dell is about to visit, giving Eda no time to mentally or emotionally prepare herself for her father’s arrival. It was done with the best of intentions and Eda would have refused until the day she died anyways, but it’s still the same as Gwen showing up unannounced with a new and “totally legitimate” cure. Camila at least put in an effort to be okay with the Isles, even if some aspects freak her outyears after her first visit. But that’s the benefit of being a character who was allowed to grow and change because the writers found a way to include her in the main story. Gwen didn’t have that luxury, with the show barely having enough time to fit her in at all. I feel like the reason for that was because the writers didn’t have plans for Gwen outside of her introduction, so they just hoped that what she did in that episode would be enough. And…it is for a mostly one-off character, but it causes SOME reservations with fans due to the years of damage and neglect Gwen partook in. I would still personally say that what she does is enough, but I’m a person who didn’t have a mother problem like Gwen, and the fans who did are likely going to respectfully disagree with me. Though, I feel like I can confidently say that Gwen’s mistakes are an easier pill to swallow than Alador’s.

Alador is very much not an improvement as he constantly stayed out of Odalia’s way and did what she said to make her happy so she wouldn’t do anything WORSE to the kids. Even though what she already did wasn’t all that great to begin with, Alador kept telling himself that Odalia will somehow be even worse if she doesn’t get her way. He tried to SUBTLY steer Odalia off course, but still did next to nothing to really stop anything she’s done. He does when she finally goes too far, but to some fans’ eyes it’s too late. Now the question is: Is Alador stopping Odalia from assisting a genocide and promising to do better ENOUGH to accept? And to some fans…the answer is no. It’s a good start, but it’s hard for some people to accept an apology that seems to come too late. It’s even harder to accept because the show’s about over and there’s next to no time for Alador to improve himself as a good parent. I get that he WANTS to, but wanting to be a better parent and actually being one are two different things. Trust me. The epilogue hints that he did well enough for Amity to still be happy to see him, it’s just that we don’t get to see that change for ourselves, thus making it a harder pill to swallow that he’s really a good parent.

It is a good thing for kids shows to say that parents are doing their very best. I’m willing to say that there’s a VAST majority of parents who actually love their kids, even if they sometimes make decisions that could unintentionally upset the child at first. It’s nice to tell kids that their parents still love them, and it gives the parents watching The Owl House a chance to see some of their mistakes be painted negatively and it’s not too late to change. However, there are still teens and young adults who DIDN’T have the best parents growing up, and they’re going to be slightly willing to resent some attempts to make imperfect parents better. It at least works with Camila, with only those who disagree being fans who hyper-focused on her worst attributes and ignored her most nurturing moments for the sake of just…hating her, I guess. Ever since “Thanks to Them,” the hate train for Camila has LONG since left the station with barely any passengers on it anymore, and it’s all because of Season Three having her confront her mistakes and improve on herself. We don’t get that with Alador and Gwen, so saying that they’re parents doing their best doesn’t really cut it because we never got the chance to see what their “best” ever was. Both have their moments that make me appreciate the effort, but they’re a case of the intention being better than the execution, making this a lesson that needed better planning for its other parents. Though, in fairness, the lack of proper preparation for making imperfect yet loving BIOLOGICAL parents MIGHT have something to do with The Owl House LOVING the Found Family trope…

Family is more than blood

Ah, the found family trope. Something that’s genuinely wholesome every time it’s used. Whether it’s outcasts and weirdos finding acceptance through each other or poor sad sacs finally experiencing love for the first time with someone who isn’t a blood relative. The Owl House loves this trope, especially with its main trio. I’ve said…pretty much all I need to say about these three and how important their love for each other is. Their bond is at the core of what makes the show so compelling, and seeing them be happy together is what makes watching The Owl House great. On top of that, it also does a job of showing that you don’t need to be a child’s birth parent to be a GOOD parent.

Eda’s a surrogate mother to Luz and an adopted mother to King. Neither of them are her flesh and blood, but she will ALWAYS treat them as such. At least, she eventually does. Initially, Eda kept pushing the label of Luz being her APPRENTICE before sticking with calling Luz her “kid” and would treat King more as a pet before seeing him as a son. It’s partly Eda not wanting to accept that she likes having people in her life, and partly because the writers were not a hundred percent sure about character dynamics until almost halfway through the second season. Regardless, by the time everything is all figured out and accepted, Eda basically starts to become mom of the year. She prioritizes Luz and King’s safety above anything else, takes time out of her day to get those kids the things they need on the day-to-day, and will get extra murdery when someone so much as THINKS about hurting her babies. It gets to the point where if the pressure of her kids being in danger becomes too much, it’ll cause Eda to break, making her one of the few cartoon parents who absolutely refuses to let her children get mixed up in the danger. The parental figures of shows like these tend to accept that it’s something the kid HAS to do or begrudgingly goes along with it because…it makes the plot easier. Even the parental figures who tell their kids to be cautious when approaching danger tend to still bring their kids into said danger. With Eda, she’s the rare case where I’ve seen a mother actually cry from stress over worrying about her children, which proves how strong her love is for Luz and King. You don’t need to be a biological mother to love your kids, and Eda proves it. As well as a certain someone else.

I do want to gush about how Camila is the mother Vee never had, taking the poor little snake in when she had nowhere else to go. The problem is that there’s not really a greater focus on it, but, at the same time, there doesn’t need to be. We understand everything from something as simple as Camila running to hug Vee when she reveals her new form. At first, Camila may have been put off by the SURPRISE of Vee, mainly because the reveal of a snake demon pretending to be her daughter was a bit too much for her. But after calming down and seeing Vee for what she is (Which is a scared teenager with boatloads of trauma), Camila agrees to let Vee stay with her because the girl has nowhere else to go. That very act shows off Camila’s kindness, sure, but the little bits we get in “Thanks to Them” shows that this is more than a woman offering a teen a place to stay out of the goodness of her heart. There’s that first hug I’ve mentioned, sure, but we also have Vee learning Spanish fluently and a picture of Camila proudly teaching Vee how to make empanadas. It makes it seem like there’s a genuine effort to make Vee a permanent member of the family, with Camila not seeming to be against it. And her final hug to Vee at the end of the special cements that she’s more than happy to have Vee in her life, which is further confirmed in the pictures we see in “Watching and Dreaming.” Vee became a permanent part of the Noceda family, joining in on family outings and graduating with Vee in pure glee. She hasn’t been with them long, but Camila and Luz love Vee like a mother and sister would, being something that’s so genuinely heartwarming to think about despite how little we see in the show…It also feels more earned when compared to Hunter and Darius.

I still appreciate what was MEANT to be done with Hunter and Darius, don’t get me wrong. It’s sweet to give Hunter a father figure and someone to consider family outside of Belos because…it’s Belos. Hunter deserves SOMEONE to love and guide him outside of Flapjack, and Darius is revealed to be someone that was strict but understanding about Hunter being a teenager. Plus, with the information that he was close with Hunter's predecessor, and the knowledge of what happened to previous Golden Guards, you can take this as Darius wanting to keep his friend’s memory alive through Hunter. The potential of what they could be is there and what we see is still good. I really do enjoy that Darius seems ready to take Hunter in after Hunter was ready to accept that he has no one, even taking interest in Hunter’s love of wolves the second he talks about them. It’s certainly charming…but we also barely see any of it. More than that, we’ve hardly seen it built up. I know the same applies to Vee and Camila, but here’s what they have that Darius and Hunter don’t: Time and close proximity. Even when they’re off screen together, they’re still together and you can imagine the bonding they MUST be going through, even if they’re off-screen. You can’t live in the same house with somebody and NOT form some kind of connection with them. For Hunter and Darius, while they MIGHT live in the same castle, but they’re often both busy with duties and responsibilities to even TALK to each other. At least, that’s what we can assume from these two. Camila and Vee seem significantly less busy with one another, so it’s easy to imagine that they have all the time in the world to chat and bond. Hunter is rarely in the same room as Darius unless in uniform. I get that Darius cares for the boy, what with how overprotective he got and ready to rain hell once learning that Hunter’s in Belos’ mind too. But that’s the only real big showcase of their bond between “Any Sport in a Storm” and “Watching and Dreaming” that so much as hints to their relationship. It’s a decent attempt, but it’s another one of those things where I wonder if it’d turn out better if we had more time.

Regardless, it’s still an effective theme. Only a third of the found families here were allowed to have a lot of attention on them, but Camila and Darius were still allowed a chance to prove their loving parents despite not having a lot of time to show it. Familial love isn’t JUST defined by the blood one shares. It’s something experienced the exact same way through adoption or considering someone to be close enough where they might as well be family. Blood’s not all that binds us, and it’s sweet for the show to say that, not only for the kids looking for a new home but also for ones looking for an out from a hostile environment. They WILL get a better life with people who will love them regardless of being related or not. And it’s not just a familial bond you’ll get from people out in the world. Because while you might currently feel alone without anyone there to understand or love you, just know this:

You’ll find your people

This one…really applies to a lot of the characters in the series. One way or another, they each experience a state of loneliness at some point, having no one in their life for a period of time to then having the closest companions and romantic partners that make things…better. These are characters that likely thought they’d never find anyone, but they’ve either now have one person or a group of people that make them feel seen and heard as an individual. And I could go on entire essays about these characters…but this whole sticking thing has gone on long enough, so we’ll lightning round these examples.

Luz was your average nerd that no one understood, with her antics being too weird for anyone to even want to associate themselves with her. That is, until she found herself in a land that’s weirder than her, yet ironically remaining a social outcast due to her being the only human. Yet she still manage to befriend almost every person she met, with all of them showing up to celebrate her birthday. It made Luz go from the loneliest girl in her grade to basically the leader of her own squad of losers and town sweetheart to the lives she saved.

After losing a friendship with Amity, Willow spent a lot of her time all alone and struggling to catch up with others, bullies in particular calling her half-a-witch. But we already established where this led her. She got two personal cheerleaders and a boyfriend that all express how amazing and talented Willow is, having blossomed into the badass she is now. She even repaired things with Amity, making a friendship that’s stronger than it was before.

Older kids used Gus for his intelligence and didn’t respect him for his age. Now he’s the personal cheerleader of a whole group of friends who have his back and value both his input and needs.

Amity may have had “friends” like Boscha and the whole mean girl clique, but it never felt real to her. She was surrounded by people, but never felt more alone until meeting Luz and understanding what real love and friendship felt like. It made Amity want to be better as a person, giving her a chance to rekindle a friendship with Willow and making things better than they’ve ever been.

Hunter had NO friends his age, only having a bird as a companion that he had to keep secret from his controlling, bloodthirsty uncle. It wasn’t until the bird kept pulling Hunter in the right direction did he manage to become friends with a girl who acted like an annoying sister, a new best bro, and a crush turned girlfriend, all inspiring him to stand up Belos and be his own person. And also Amity was there.

Vee had next to NO ONE in her life, and she was a monster in the Boiling Isles that was hunted down by Belos. By coming to the Human Realm, not only did she find peace, but she also found a family, made easy friends, and became part of a group that likely makes her feel a sense of belonging she never experienced before. And you know what? Good for her.

Throughout Hexside, all Eda had was Lilith, which implied that not a lot of students were a fan of her chaos. That is, until she met Raine and finally had someone who both understood her as well as wanting to join the fun.

Speaking of Raine, they were a top student for sure but one that was looked down upon/underestimated due to being a bard witch. Eda was the one who saw their potential and talents, being an easy first friend and eventual girlfriend who brought more excitement to Raine’s life.

It is HEAVILY implied that Camila was a closeted nerd who never had anyone that understood her until meeting Manny. Those two geeks assuredly bonded over their shared interest in Cosmic Frontier, making Camila feel loved and understood by a man that I REALLY wish we got to see in canon. Just one flashback or SOMETHING!

Lilith likely didn’t have any friends in Hexside, though it’s possibly by choice. She focussed more on studying and being better than her sister, with that mindset carrying over to the Emperor’s Coven as she won’t give up unless EVERYONE recognized her for her talents. Friendship took second place to those needs, and, for all we know, means that Hooty is her very first real friend. And that’s sad because…it’s Hooty, but at the same time it makes their friendship all the more beautiful with how much Hooty makes Lilith happy in a time when she felt like there was no one who’d face her let alone like her company.

And finally we have The Collector, who was alone for EONS, wanting to just play games and make friends. The only snag was that he was too powerful and needed a guide, with King stepping up as the role of The Collector’s (forced) best friend. And while the job wasn’t the BEST position, King grew fond of The Collector, making them feel fuller as a person.

Like I said, a LOT of characters felt alone for so long. The good news is that they eventually found those who made life better just through their company alone. And that’s good to teach–GREAT, even. Because it doesn’t matter how long it takes for those who feel so alone. Whether you’re a teenager or even an adult, you’ll find people in your life who will effortlessly make you happy. You just gotta let them in when they find you and allow them to make life better. For some of you, it might be hard to let friends into your life because you feel too damaged beyond repair. And for that, there’s another thing to remember…

Love heals all wounds 

On top of being lonely, a lot of characters tend to be…emotionally broken. At the very least, a lot of them needed a hug more than anything ele. At most, they need a whole new life with people that actually understand the importance of love and kindness. And I…pretty much just speedran my way through most of those characters, as well as thoroughly going over the two biggest examples in this show throughout every part of this dang review series. Amity and Hunter are their best selves now because of the new friends that they made and the families they formed. Most of their baggage, bad behaviors, and worst memories are darn near forgotten due to those in their lives making things better. I’d just be repeating myself to an excessive degree if I went further with these two. They’re the best examples for sure, explicitly showing how much a person can become better off with someone showing them what love feels like. The same goes with, like I said, a LOT of characters on the show. Luz was in a depressive state, one that made her question whether or not people would be better off without her, and was only healed through reassurance and reconfirmation that people loved her and are happy BECAUSE she was in their lives. Eda was a person that pushed away everyone in her life, from families to romantic partners, until she had two kids in her life that gave it meaning and encouraged her to reconnect with those she left behind. And do I even need to explain Vee? The connections we make with people is only important because of the love we share with one another, in a variety of ways. Romantic, platonic, even familial, a person saying “I care” can do wonders to a person’s psyche in ways you don’t even know.I should know. I speak from experience as a person who often felt like no one cares about him or his existence. It means WONDERS whenever I hear someone say they value having me around. Reassurance that you’ll find your people is one thing, but being reminded that the love you get from them is as essential just feels…so right. Because, yeah, of course relationships and love go hand in hand. It’s part of why The Owl House is such a delight to see and why this next and final theme hits so hard. And while I say final theme…it’s really one of the first things the show ever had to say.

“Us weirdos gotta stick together”

On top of being lonely and desiring love, The Owl House is a show of outcasts. As Luz puts it best, they don’t fit in anywhere so they just fit in together. Our main trio, of course, are the primary examples of this. King’s the last of his species with delusions of grandeur that makes him difficult to socialize, Eda’s a criminal wanted by the Emperor for not joining a coven, and Luz was the weird girl in school that became too much to handle. The three of them never really fit in anywhere so they found unity through each other. They’re the only ones who really knew and understood each other better than most people and would go through so much if it meant making one another happy. They were weird, but that’s what kept them united as people who can be their true selves while being…mostly unjudged. There is some teasing and some questionable looks, but it often comes from a place of love as these three would do a lot to make each other feel loved. And it’s not just with their group. 

Luz took Eda’s words to heart, setting out to form a weird little group of her own. She went out to make friends who were social outcasts as well. You have Willow, the powerful girl who couldn’t get good enough with one type of magic, getting ridiculed by both peers and faculty. And Gus, a magical prodigy who is OBSESSED with humans. Both of them get along great with Luz, appreciating her siliness and joining in because it was fun for them. What’s even better is that they’re not the only weird bunch in school. The Detention Track kids also came together, due to a shared “oddity” of wanting to learn more magic by combining different kinds of spells. They went about things the wrong way and were definitely a little too chaotic, but that’s just what kept them all so close together. And “Any Sport in the Storm” showed them making new friends outside of their group, more so with Viney as the episode mostly hints that the same applies to Jerbo and Barcus. Speaking of Viney, though, she managed to become close with Gus, Willow, and surprisingly Skara, all of them sharing an understanding of being underestimated in one way or another. Weirdness tends to attract more weirdness, with The Owl House saying it’s a good thing. It furthers the theme about how you will find your people, with these little groups proving that you’re never too weird for EVERYONE. And, even further, your weirdness can inspire others to let out their inner weirdos. Amity was allowed to be a more of an open nerd, sharing her love of Azura with Luz, and Hunter was allowed to take interests and show off how he enjoys something without worrying about how others judged him. In fact, NONE of these characters worried about how they were judged as people because of the company they keep. Most of them may have been a little odd, but they all felt seen, heard, and appreciated for who they were. But that remains a final question: Who WERE they?

What does the show mean with the word “Weirdo?” What are “weirdos” meant to represent? There’s the obvious answer in saying that it’s meant to be more literal, saying that the show is speaking to anybody that’s more or less odd or goes against the grain, in a way. Although, even then, what does that mean? What counts as weird? Is it weird to be a fan of something you love? Is it weird to be unpopular or to not shine as brighter as others? Is it weird to…love someone…who happens to be the same gender…?

Maybe I’m overreaching, but this is where my mind goes when the show says “weirdos.” It’s a very vague term that can apply to a lot of people who don’t feel like they fit in for a variety of reasons. Stuff like loving a certain thing or loving a certain someone COULD fit into that and it makes the message of sticking together all the more important. Because it’s true, weirdos should stick together. Whether you like it or not, we’re all in the same boat. People will look down at us as if we commit the worst crimes, when all we did was act as our unique selves. We didn’t hurt anybody, we never PLANNED to hurt anybody. We just want to be allowed to exist, and it’s perfectly fine to find unity through that desire of existence. No matter how you’re seen as weird, from who or what you love, to the way that you act, and the way that you talk, you’re allowed to be who you are. We don’t like being judged, so we shouldn’t judge others who just want the same things we do. So unite, because us weirdos have got to stick together.

And that…is that. That’s all the things I figured that The Owl House tried to say to the kids. I may not have gotten EVERYTHING, but these are what stood out to me and they’re the lessons that I love most to have come from the show. If there’s any theme you want discussed, then by all means share. Tell everyone how there’s more to this series that makes it stand out from all the other kids shows with a point. And, more importantly, how it does it well. Because at the end of the day, while the messages can be a little muddled, I wouldn’t say that The Owl House has anything bad to say. At all. Its heart is always in the right place, and that’s what I personally admire most about this series.

Speaking of admiration, I’m running out of things to talk about why I love this show. So, tune in next time for the FINAL PART as I discuss more of what does and doesn’t work with this series as I finally conclude why I love it so much. It’s…likely going to be emotional, so see you then.

[macfrog]

rack 'em

the girlies watched triple frontier last week and it was the single most inspiring thing i have ever seen so here’s a lil frankie fic to cleanse my mind. dedicated to my babies @gracieispunk (who put this concept in my head for the wee laddies), @hellishjoel & @strang3lov3 🤍

pairing: bbf!frankie morales x f!reader

summary: when your parents ask you to housesit for them, you take the opportunity to spend some quality time back in your hometown, hanging with your older brother and...getting reacquainted with his best friend

warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) reader is santiago's younger sister, she and frankie do not get along, teasing & touching, dubcon (reader is a little drunk, frankie is not), oral sex (f receiving), alcohol consumption, quick mention of dr*gs, cursing, frankie's a bit of a dick but reader gives as good as she gets

word count: 6.1k (cause apparently i don’t know how to write short fics 🤪)

main masterlist

When you were four, a new family moved in across the street. Nobody knew them – your mom spent two straight days trying to scoop for information. Who they were, where they’d moved from, what was with the banged-up Ford pickup they drove. Nobody knew a thing.

You didn’t take much interest, being four years old – two months shy of your fifth birthday, by the way – and too invested in whatever politics a woman of your age finds herself wrapped up in, but you noticed one key thing about them.

The mom had tattoos.

Two full sleeves. Colorful ones, too. A bright red heart on her shoulder, a green snake wrapped around her forearm – among others. It was fucking cool, alright? No matter how much your mom whispered to Ms. Teller over the fence about them.

One night, when you were supposed to be in bed, you snuck out of your room and crossed the landing to your brother’s. Santiago and his friends were all staying at Tom’s, and you knew that in his desk he had permanent markers. You clicked the door open, as quiet as you could, and crept over his matted carpet to the drawer. You took one Sharpie, and spent the night adding snakes and hearts and whatever else came to mind to your Barbies’ arms, legs, faces, necks.

They looked fucking awesome. Just like that mom across the street.

But somehow or other – and I’m not blaming anyone – the next morning, a drawing appeared on the bathroom wall. In Sharpie. Your mom hit the roof.

As soon as Santi got home, she dragged him by the ear into the bathroom and pointed a trembling finger at the drawing. You forget what it was – it’s been years, and you were never much of an artist.

His plea of innocence helped him none; she knew he owned Sharpies, knew he sucked just as bad as you did at drawing, and he was grounded for three whole weeks. No soccer practice, no TV, no PlayStation. Which, at thirteen, is basically a stint in Rikers.

Your brother, though…he was always better than your mom at reading your mind. He saw the guilt on your face plain as the black marker behind the toilet tank. He cornered you in your bedroom as soon as she went back downstairs, and established three key rules going forward.

One: do not enter his room ever again.

Two: no touching his stuff.

And three: anytime he took the fall for you, you owed him. Big time.

You’ve followed the rules ever since. You barely knew what the inside of his room looked like, growing up. But it worked, ‘cause ever since the Sharpie incident of ’99, you two remained closer than most siblings with an eight-year age gap.

So, now, two days into a two-week stay back in your hometown to housesit while your parents head off on a cruise to celebrate their anniversary, you’re in the car with him. Listening to music, bitching about your mom, arguing over the best Cola flavor.

It’s like old times.

“She said, How’s my baby girl?” you yell over Stevie Nicks’s voice, reading from your phone.“And when I said I’m fine, she said, No, I meant the dog. Is she fucking serious?”

Santiago’s head tilts back with laughter, dark curls nudging against the headrest. He’s driving you to Lucky’s, a local sports bar he and his buddies frequent. He promised when he picked you up at the airport he’d take you out, get you drunk, and he was holding to it.

You pull your legs down off the dash as he turns into the parking lot, pulling in right under the white fluorescent sign, four-leaf clover flashing under it.

“She’s looking forward to seeing you when they get back,” he tells you, switching the engine off.

“Oh, yeah? That why she didn’t even hang around to see me before they left?”

He hands you a smug grin, shrugging his shoulders. “Can’t have it all, big shot. You move a thousand miles away, you forfeit your chance of being the favorite.”

You swing your door open and hop out, chasing him around the car to follow him inside. “You say that like I was ever in the fucking running.”

He snorts, pushing the door open, and a loud cheer roars through the bar. You blush as you follow your brother across the room to two tables full of familiar faces.

“Hey, baby.” Your best friend’s arms pull you in, her gold hoop earrings cold against your cheek. She smells like rose and cedarwood.

“Mal,” you hum, smiling as she pulls away.

“My mom said your parents only just made it on board,” she says, detaching strands of her long, black hair from the cuff of your jacket. “Said they had a flat tire and had to race to get to the boat.”

Your head jerks back. “She never told me any of that. Just asked how Ange was.”

Mal snorts.

“Hey, lil Santi!”

You glance over your shoulder to watch as Benny Miller stalks over, almost shoving some old guy off his feet, arms wide open, wide grin spread across his lips. His brother, Will, follows behind, and gives your shoulder a loving slap when Benny pulls you in for a hug.

“How’s Boston treatin’ ya?”

“Good,” you reply. “How’s…MMA treating you?”

“Good!” he echoes, eyebrows almost reaching his hairline.

It’s kinda part of the deal that your older brother’s friends become brothers in their own right to you, especially when you’re as young and easily-influenced as you were. They used to use you in their elaborate plans – send you in as a distraction while they filled their pockets with food at parties, or use your smaller stature to their advantage when attempting to break into places they shouldn’t.

By the time you were old enough to follow their orders, they were well into their teens. Which is basically grown-up, as far as six-year-old you was concerned. They were always allowed to do things you’re still not sure your mom would permit you to do at twenty-eight, like disappear all day without checking in, or come home black and blue after an organized street brawl with the boys from the other side of the neighborhood.

But there was no denying they cared about you. Will, Benny, and Tom, at least. They showed their affection by ruffling your hair as they passed, or sneaking you candy under the table even after your mom had told you you’d had enough. They’d christened you ‘lil Santi’, a name that – despite the embarrassment it always casts over you anytime you hear it – still sticks to this day.

Your brother’s friends were family to him, and, by extension, family to you.

Well. All but one.

Frankie Morales – nickname Catfish: long-time best buddy of your big brother, and long-time fucking asshole. There isn’t one thing on Earth that you two see eye to eye on, except for that very fact: he hates you almost as much as you hate him.

Always have, always will.

He’s in trouble almost regularly for drug-related stuff you don’t bother asking Santiago about. You don’t need to hear details to know he’s a pain in the ass. He’s been antagonizing you for as long as you’ve known him – where the others ruffled your hair, he’d shove into your shoulder as he passed, sending you – and whatever you were holding – flying. Any attempt you made at conversation with any one of them resulted in an argument between you and Frankie.

You hated him. Fucking hated him.

And tonight, you almost think yourself lucky. Almost go over to thank Santi for not inviting him, when you notice the silhouette of his baseball cap and that denim button up hunched over in a bar stool, and your eyes narrow.

You can’t help yourself. It’s been a years-long feud. And you’re old enough to take him on now. So, you stride over.

“You here to poison my drink?”

“What?” he asks, shaking his head. Already exasperated just by the sight of you.

“I bet you cheered the loudest when I walked in.”

He shrugs. “Cheered when your brother gave me fifty bucks to show face.”

Your upper lip curls. When the bartender notices you standing, elbows propped on the bar, he leans over.

“Beer, please.” Your smile twists into a grimace when you catch Frankie watching you. “What are you doing here? You have to be the person least excited to see me home.”

“I told you,” he says, lifting the bottle to his lips, “I’m bein’ paid.”

“Alright, so what do I gotta pay you to make you leave?”

Frankie scoffs, opens his mouth to answer what you’re sure is a comment laced with just as much venom, when Will’s strong arms slap down on each of your shoulders.

“We buyin’ our favorite veterinary nurse a drink, Francisco?”

You take your beer from Nick’s outstretched hand, sliding him the cash in return, and hold it up to Will in reply. “I’m good, thanks. Wouldn’t wanna eat into that fifty bucks, Catfish,” you mutter, turning to wander off.

You weave in and out of bodies, making your way to the opposite side of the bar where the pool tables sit. Doused in the warm strip light over the green felt, Santi chalks his cue ready to play against Mal, who’s already lining up her shot.

You hop up on a stool right next to the table, glancing back over to the bar where Frankie sits, now turned to face your direction. His elbow sits on the wooden surface, head turns from the football game showing behind the bar, over to you. And when he sees you looking, turns back to the TV screen, cool expression never changing.

“You done?” Mal asks Santiago, feeding the cue through her ring-decorated fingers.

He nods, tossing the chalk back over to you. “Better get your purse out, Bennett. Lotta sober people in here, all gonna want a free drink once you lose.”

“As if,” she breathes, and breaks the rack.

Somewhere throughout the game – a grueling and controversial one, by all accounts – Frankie makes his way over, following Will. You’re thankful when he plants himself on the other side of the table, one hand in his jeans pocket, the other around a bottle of beer. Though the light only comes up to his chest, right where the last button is done up, you notice him looking. Every fucking glance.

It pisses you off. Not the glancing. The way it makes you feel having him watch you. Wherever it comes from, you swallow it down with one big gulp of alcohol.

The game ends in a questionable loss. This side of the table swears the white skimmed off of Mal’s final solid when Santi hit it, right before it potted the black. The other side objected, claimed it was a clean shot ‘n you all know it. A winner wasn’t officially announced, but, being that Mallory Bennett is a force of nature where her competitive nature is concerned, Santiago was forced to buy the loser’s round.

She saunters up to you with her free whiskey in her hand, silver jewelry clinking off of the cold glass.

“Proud of yourself?” you ask, smirking.

She hands you your third beer of the night, sweeping her silky hair out of her face. “It hit it, alright? I saw it move.”

“Was that before or after you nudged the table?”

Mal holds a finger to her lips. You swat her hand away and the pair of you giggle, leaning into each other like schoolgirls whispering secrets in the playground.

“You know something,” Santiago materializes over Mal’s shoulder, shaking his head, “if you gotta cheat to beat me, I’ll give you the win.”

“Oh, get out,” you throw back. “Don’t blame her for your bad aim. Ms. Teller could’ve hit that shot and she’s got cataracts in both eyes.”

Your brother nods at you, tongue in his cheek. “Alright, smartass. Grab a cue.”

You scoff. Look around the room, shaking your head. The crowd has dispersed a little, folks have turned back to the TV screens, shifted focus back to the alcohol in their glasses. And then you look back to Santiago, holding his arms out.

“Alright. Fuck it.”

You hop down and snatch the second cue, wandering around the table while he racks the balls. He lifts the triangle, rolls the white over to you, and tells you to break.

The multicolored balls scatter in a fleet, two stripes tumble into pockets, and you stand back to survey your options. There’s a third stripe close to a pocket on the right, so you wander around to your left and turn.

“’scuse me,” you mutter, nudging Frankie’s stomach with the bottom of your cue.

He shoots you a dead-eyed stare, and takes one step back. And then his eyes drop, and you feel like you could slap him.

But you’re three – almost four – beers deep, and there are heads turning to watch how this plays out, and you can feel the bassline of the music rippling up from the soles of your feet all through your body, and you can feel the heat of his stare on the backs of your thighs, right where the hem of your dress sits.

Suddenly, slapping isn’t what you want to do to him.

Your head turns back to the pool table and you bend over, drawing the cue back between almost shaking fingers, and slam it into the white. It fires into the red striped ball, which hits the corner of the cushion, millimeters away from falling into the pocket.

You sigh, straightening up and waiting for your brother to begin his taunting, but it never comes. Instead, he fishes into his pocket for his phone, tapping the screen and holding it to his ear.

“Yep?” There’s a pause, Santiago’s face sours, and then he glances around the bar. “Right now? Really? No, it’s just…” He sighs. “Alright. I’ll be there. Just…I’m coming. I’m coming.”

He hangs up the phone and curses under his breath, then turns back to you, answering the question on your expression with: “One of our informants just got himself killed. I gotta go.”

“You haven’t even taken a shot yet,” you huff, taking his cue when he holds it out.

“I’ll make it up to you, hermana, promise. How are you gonna get home?”

You shrug. Mumble an, “I dunno.”

His eyes scan the room, passing over Will – already worse for wear, leaning shakily against a nearby table slurring to a group of strangers, then to Benny – stumbling out of the bar door with some girl on his arm, and finally land on the figure behind you, sliding a bowl of peanuts across the table to himself.

“Morales,” Santiago calls, and you throw the cues down on the felt.

“No, no way,” but your brother is already pushing past you to get to his friend. “Pope, no fucking w–”

Frankie turns, handful of nuts, cheek full and chewing.

“I gotta go, trouble at work. Can you do me a favor, man, ‘n make sure she gets home alright?”

“No,” you repeat. “He is not taking me home.”

“Baby,” Santi pleads, “just go with him, please?”

“I’ll walk. It’s, like, a twenty-minute walk.”

“No way. Mom would kill me.”

“Well, then, we just don’t tell her. Pope, please.”

He ignores you. “You are not walking home after dark. No.”

“Probably be safer than in the truck with him.”

Frankie’s head stops flitting between the two of you and his glare settles on yours. “Fuck you,” he spits, shaking his head.

“Right back at you,” you reply, insincere smile on your lips.

Santiago puts his palms together and holds them out to you. “Look, just – please. Just this once. I’ll owe you one.”

He doesn’t owe you one often. Makes a point of deliberately trying not to owe you one. This is an interesting offer. You sigh, and roll your eyes.

“Fine. You better fucking pay me back, though!”

“You got it,” he says, patting your shoulder. “Thanks, man,” he whispers to Frankie as he passes, slipping through the crowd toward the exit.

You and Frankie are left, two feet apart, filled with silence and resentment.

“You looking for someone else to hand your ass to you, lil Santi?” he asks, tossing another handful of peanuts into his mouth.

“You’re funny.” You hand him a smile, which drops the second he looks at it.

But when you turn back to the table and lift the cues, you hand one to him. Push it into his chest, shoot him a narrow-eyed glance.

“One game. And only ‘cause I need a sub.”

He dusts his hands together, shrugs. “Shouldn’t take me too long.”

You stalk back over to Mal, who’s giggling into her glass. “You two are unbelievable.”

“Don’t.” You hold your hand up, taking another swig of beer as Frankie lines up.

On his first shot, he pots that same red you were trying to hit before. His eyes lift only for a second, but you catch the cocky look he throws you and screw your face up.

“Fucking…ass,” you whisper.

Frankie’s shoulders jump, his teeth take his bottom lip. He’s laughing to himself when he takes his next shot, and pots another stripe. And then he stands up straight, holds his hands out.

“Just tell me when.”

“When what?”

“To start going easy on you.”

Fuck off. Fuck off, fuck you, fuck this. Fuck!

One more ball potted and finally, fucking finally, he misses a shot. It’s an impossible shot, anyway, there’s no way in hell he was gonna make it, but that’s not what matters. What matters is the way you twirl your cue in your fingers, then lift it and wander around the table, squeezing between Frankie and the wooden edge to get to your shot.

Your ass brushes past his jeans, and when you turn your head to whisper a sarcastic Sorry, he fucking growls. Low, almost inaudible. But just enough for you to notice, and enough for you to keep pissing him off.

The buzz you’re getting from antagonizing him this much must awaken some sort of billiards skillset you never knew you fucking had, because you pocket four balls in quick succession. Red, then green, then blue, and purple. There’s one ball between you when Frankie rounds the table, eyes scanning the felt for the next best shot he can take.

“Hurry the fuck up,” you mutter as he passes by you, on his third lap of the table.

He tsks. “Impatient,” he replies, shoulder brushing yours heavily. You feel the rough denim of his jeans graze your thighs, the weight of him against your backside for the second time. You push back, leaning into him as he moves past, then leans over, slinks his cue between his fingers, and takes his shot.

The yellow sails into the nearest pocket like there’s a magnet pulling it. The purple does the exact same – he barely has to tap it with the tip of the cue and it’s dropping in atop its predecessor.

Frankie turns, shimmying a little up the table, hip nudging yours out of the way. “Move,” he mumbles, shutting one eye to aim for the black. “Come on…” he breathes, and then shoots.

It bounces off of the opposite side of the table, thudding off of the cushion before it’s rolling toward the pocket and dropping in with a plunk.

He stands, fixing his baseball cap, and leans the cue against the table. “Good game, loser,” he says, ruffling your hair as he passes you.

“What age are you?” you sneer as he wanders back off to his beer, waiting for him on the table next to his bowl of peanuts.

Will wraps an unsteady arm around your shoulder as Frankie tips his bottle against his lips. He’s swaying, dragging you left and right with him as if you’re on a boat.

“He’s…he’s always been the best outta us all,” Will slurs, using his bottle to point at Frankie. “’s why he’s such a good pilot. Good aim.”

You sigh, pushing his heavy arm off yourself and slip back over to Mal, who hands you a sad smile and fixes your hair.

“It was a good attempt,” she says.

“Oh, shut up,” you reply, tossing your bottle up and draining the last of it onto your tongue. “I need another drink.”

You cross the room, suddenly less blurry and tilted, more boring and flat, and lean over the bar. “Nick,” you call, and he twists around, “grab me another–”

“It’s alright, Nick,” a voice yells over your shoulder, “I think she’s good.”

You spin around and it’s that stupid fucking baseball cap and the stupid denim button up again.

“What, I’m not allowed to drink now?”

Frankie’s head cocks. “You don’t think you’ve had enough?”

“I’ve had three. Three beers. The fuck is your problem?”

He tuts, glances left and right, and then back to you. “I think I should get you home.”

“I think you should mind your business.”

“Are you this fucking difficult with everyone when you’re drunk?”

“Nope,” you beam at him, “just you.”

He lets go of the grip he has on your arm and starts backing away. “I’m leaving, baby,” he tells you, nodding goodbye to Nick. “You’re either coming, or Pope’s gonna hear all about it.”

You ball your fists, watching the door swing closed behind him. Your feet stay rooted to the ground, eyes flitting from the parking lot over to Mal, who lifts her arms in a question. You shake your head in response, and her shoulders drop.

Sorry, you mouth, beginning to walk off in Frankie’s footsteps.

Mal blows you a kiss, winks once, and then salutes you goodbye. You shoulder out of the bar.

The ride back to your parents’ place is silent, except for the dull drone of whatever fucking music Frankie has choking out of his radio. You watch your hometown pass by, never taking your eyes off of the blurry streetlights or passing mailboxes, refusing to turn your head further than the middle of the windscreen at him.

He’s humming along to the song, jaw swinging as he chews on gum, arm hanging out of his open window. Everything he does is so fucking irritating, like a constant buzzing in your ear, an eyelash stuck in your eye, the feeling of stepping on a wet floor in socks.

So why, every time you do sneak a glance of him out of your peripheral, does the sight of those focused brown eyes, the strands of gray in his beard, the way his curls flick under the brim of his cap – why does it all stir something inside of you?

Frankie pulls up across the street from your house, white wood a milky blue in the moonlight. You unbuckle your seatbelt and let the strap whip off of your body, rattling against the interior of the truck. The most you’re willing to offer him is a nod of the head in thanks, which he returns, and your fingers hook around the door latch.

“Hey, mind if I come in ‘n use your bathroom?” he asks.

You pause. “Uh, yeah. I mind. No.”

“Come on, baby, I gotta piss like a racehorse.”

You scoff, ignoring him and slip down out of the truck. The door slams closed and you wander over to your parents’ drive, hearing a second slam as you cross the street.

“Uh, where do you think you’re going?”

“If your mom knew you weren’t letting me use her bathroom, she’d kill you, ‘n you know it.”

“My mom doesn’t know you like I know you, asshole,” you retort, but he’s still following you to the front door. “Just – alright. Do me a favor and disinfect it once you’re done. I don’t need them coming home to piss all over the floor.”

“You think my aim’s that bad? Just schooled you in a game of pool.”

You sigh, refusing to rise, and open the door. There’s the gentle scuffing of claws on the wooden flooring, trotting nearer and nearer in the dark hallway, and then the weight of your childhood dog shoves into your body.

“Hi, Angie. Hi, girl,” you whisper, scratching the dog’s white fur, her front paws against your tummy.

She jumps down when Frankie slips in behind you, wandering over with her tail swinging back and forth. He crouches down and holds his hand out, cooing, “Hi, baby,” as she nuzzles against his palm.

“She likes most folks who come by,” you utter, hanging your coat over the banister. “Don’t think you’re special.”

“She always loved me most,” he says, still fussing over the pup, “didn’t you, girl? Yeah, yeah you did.”

You roll your eyes and wander upstairs, leaving Frankie to find the bathroom, use it, and fuck off on his own.

It’s been almost eight years since you last lived here, but your room still looks oddly similar. Same bedframe, different sheets. Same wallpaper, only not covered in posters of your favorite bands. Same shelves, too, just that they hold stuff like vases and seashells and other random ornaments your mom’s picked up, rather than a collection of your favorite movies or framed photos of you and your friends.

You pull your dress over your shoulders and kick your boots off, grabbing a tee from your bag to sleep in. The Nirvana logo lies loose across your chest, the hem dancing along the line of your panties.

As you kneel on the mattress, tossing the million and one fucking pillows your mom has stacked down to the foot of the bed, you hear the door creak open.

“Damn,” Frankie mutters, glancing around the room, “haven’t been in here since I was, what, seventeen?”

“Weren’t welcome then, still not welcome now.”

“You still got that Black Eyed Peas poster rolled up somewhere?” He’s walking in, boots scuffing along the wooden floor.

“Are you lost?”

He looks over to you, stood by the bed, t-shirt barely reaching your thighs. “You know something, you ‘n your brother are so fucking different, it amazes me you’re related.”

“I imagine there’s a lot that amazes you, dumbass.”

He scoffs. There’s a hint of genuine humor in it. Like he’s impressed. And then his eyes scan down your body, lingering on the bare skin of your legs, shifting up to the pink cotton of your panties. They shoot back up when you speak again.

“Seriously, dude. What are you still doing here?”

Frankie turns to the dresser by the window, adorned with framed pictures of you and Santi as kids. “Making sure you get home alright, like Pope told me to.”

“Well,” you shrug, “I’m home, ‘n I’m alright. So…”

He picks up a silver frame; inside, faded by the sun and years that have passed, lives a photograph of you and your brother. He’s on his BMX bike, wide, toothless grin, and you’re behind him, standing on the pegs and gripping onto his t-shirt sleeves as you battle not to fall off.

Frankie laughs a little, turning the frame to show you. “You were always so fuckin’ annoying, you know that?” And then, with a shake of his head as he sets the frame back down, “Still are.”

You cock your head, throwing your hands up with an infuriated sigh. “If I’m so annoying, then why are you still here?”

The look he gives when he turns back around answers that question for you, in a way that his words never could. Never would, to be honest. He’d never admit the thoughts running through his head right now, same as you won’t admit that, likewise, they’re running through yours.

It’d be fucking weird. It’d be wrong, hooking up with his best friend’s little sister. Santi only asked him to get you home safe, not follow you inside, walk straight into your bedroom, look at you the way he’s looking at you right now, silhouetted by the streetlight shining through your still-open shades.

So then, why can’t he walk away?

You make to step forward, and Frankie’s already moving. He meets you halfway, stood on some fancy-looking rug your mom probably spent too much money on, his arms instantly finding your waist underneath your short tee.

“You fuckin’ piss me off, you know that?”

“I know,” you breathe, bottom lip brushing against his, “I know.”

He pushes you backward, sends you stumbling across the floor on your toes until the back of your calves hit the mattress and you fall, dragging him down on top of you. You knock the baseball cap from his head and run your hands through his brown curls, pulling him nearer as his hands begin to move north under the worn cotton of your shirt.

His rough hands cup your breasts, kneading and pinching your nipples as his lips fall to your neck, sucking a bruise into your soft skin.

“Frankie,” you breathe, “what the fuck are we–?”

“Shut up,” he whispers back, teeth grazing over your collarbone. He’s moving down, kissing over your tee as he goes, until he’s kneeling on the floor, your legs dangling off the bed either side of his body.

You push yourself up onto your elbows, watching him as he presses fleeting kisses to the insides of your thighs, making his way closer and closer to your center, covering ground painfully slow.

“Would you – just – fucking – get there?” you ask, head tilting back with a groan.

“Always so fucking impatient,” he mutters, pulling your legs further apart. “Makes sense, though,” he whispers, finger hooking around your underwear, “already so wet.”

“Dick,” you hiss, laying back flat on the bed.

Frankie holds the lace off of your core and then dips his jaw, lips lightly ghosting across your folds. You hum with a mixture of pleasure and annoyance, ready to buck your hips up to him if it’ll just make him move faster.

But you don’t have to wait a second longer. He licks one broad stripe up your center, pressing one chaste kiss to your clit before his tongue dips where you need him most. Your legs go to clamp shut, stopped by his shoulders.

“Fuck, Frankie,” you moan, hand coming down to knot your fingers in his hair.

He hums against your pussy, tongue lapping inside you, nose at the perfect angle for you to rut your clit against.

“Fuck…” you repeat, and he fucking laughs against you. “Quit it,” you hiss, and he lifts his head.

Your eyes shoot open, finding his. Alarmed meeting cool.

“Fine,” he says, smirking. “I’ll quit it.”

“Don’t you fucking– Frankie.”

“Your words, baby.” He shrugs, eyes flitting down to your cunt, soaked under his touch.

“I didn’t mean it,” you moan. “Why are you such a fucking asshole?”

He looks back up. The corners of his mouth pull his smirk into a grin. Some devilish grin, thick with arrogance.

“I’m an asshole,” he echoes, elastic of your panties shifting up to his knuckles.

He watches your cunt as he does it. Runs two fingers between your folds, coating them in your arousal, dipping them deeper until they’re at your entrance.

Your head hits the bed heavily, your body writhing over the white sheets as he pushes closer and closer. His free hand comes up and pushes down on your tummy, holding you steady to the mattress, then –

“I’m the asshole.”

He inserts his fingers, curled, thick, stretching you out over his hand as he pushes in deep. A gasp passes through your lips, exchanging itself for a throaty moan when Frankie begins fucking you on his hand, lowering his lips to your clit again.

His wrist pumps in and out, tongue swirling over the swollen bud, palm pushing harder into your stomach to keep you from upsetting his rhythm with how badly you want to move around.

Your fingers lock a vice grip around his hair, your hips the only part of your body he’ll let you move. You establish a pace of your own, fucking up to meet his fingers, grinding yourself on his wet tongue.

“I’m close,” you pant, Nirvana logo distorted in ruffles at the base of your neck. “So fucking close, Frankie.”

And he can feel it. Feel you tightening around his hand, feel the rhythm of your hips start to miss beats, move clockwise instead of up and down. He can hear as your mouth stops rounding the words, fading into slurs and breaths and moans instead of coherent language.

“F-Frankie,” you cry out, and it’s like music to his ears. “’m there, I’m–”

“On my mouth, baby,” he mutters, withdrawing his fingers and replacing them with his lips again, tongue pushing inside you as you fall apart all over him.

Your back lifts from the bed, fists ball around his hair, pushing his face even harder against your cunt as you ride out your high. You’re moaning his name over and over, echoing off the walls of your little room, escaping out the door and swirling around the hallway.

If you could hear yourself, or cared enough to try, you’d feel fucking embarrassed at what you’re doing – coming apart under Frankie’s touch. It’s Frankie.

The same Frankie you started an argument with one Fourth of July over which was better: ketchup or mustard; the two of you spitting insults over the striped tablecloth, obscene hand gestures being thrown up over plates of burgers.

The same Frankie who’d found out it was you who drew on the wall, and from that day on used it as leverage anytime you set a foot out of line. Used it to shut you up, anytime you so much as thought about talking back, or ratting on the boys.

You’re supposed to hate him. Ask anyone – Santi, Mal, your parents. They’ll all say the same. Like cat and dog.

And yet, here you are. Begging him not to stop, keep his hands and his mouth on you; gasping for breath when he eventually lifts away from you and you collapse back into the bed.

You glance down from under heavy lids, watching as he kisses your thighs again, slowly bringing you back to the room. His chin’s glistening, covered in your cum, beard soaked in you.

You slowly sit up, holding yourself steady with two palms pushed into the mattress. Frankie readjusts your underwear and sits back on his heels, running a hand down his chin and wiping himself clean.

“That was…” you pant, waiting for him to finish the sentence.

He just nods, breathing heavy himself. “Yeah.”

“I gotta…I gotta let…Ange out,” you say, words swaddled by your breath.

Frankie nods again. “I should go.”

You stand at the same time, straightening up face to face. His right side is lit warmly by your bedside lamp, the brown of his eye reflecting a tiny yellow orb back at you; the left side is darker, flecks of hair lit in the pale light from the street, face dark and unreadable. Like he’s two different people, split down the middle now, a before and after.

You’re staring at one another, mapping every inch of the other’s face. Learning it, like it’s new. Like you’ve never really seen each other until right now.

And then he’s turning, picking his hat up from the floor in one swooping motion, and walking out of your bedroom. A deep sigh passes your lips as he goes, relief mixed with satisfaction. And then you follow.

Angie circles him when his boots thud down from the bottom step. He bends to give her more attention, waiting for you to softly pad down alongside him. The dog trots off toward the kitchen, and he turns to you.

He’s back to his unphased self, jaw circling around the gum that he’s still fucking chewing. “Two drinks you owe me, now, lil Santi.”

You cock your head. “Hm?”

“One for showing your ass at pool, ‘n another for that.”

“Get the fuck out of my house, Morales.”

He snorts, wandering off down the hall. You spin on your heel and follow the sound of Ange scraping the back door, throwing a glance over your shoulder.

Frankie meets your eye, and like a reflex, the pair of you toss the finger to one another. He laughs, stepping out onto the porch.

“Anytime you feel like losing again, you know where I am, baby.”

----------

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[insomaniacat]

orv spoilers

tbh I'm so happy there is no explicit romance in orv (minus the brief stuff that happens with jhw and lhs) and because of that I feel like I've been able to appreciate kdj in such a profound way as a character

like sure i like joongdok and yoohankim but to me at least kdj has this level of asexuality to him that I don't usually associate him with anyone that romantically. And their relationships are still as complex and has such a great depth that they are like THE foundest of families and I can return to the kim dokja company at the end of the day as all of them being my comfort characters. you know that saying like 'i love you so much i'd make the world burn for you'? it's meant to be this dramatic line about how much you love someone (romantically), but kdj's company fully encapsulates this in a platonic way that just isn't cringey or anything like that

they are all so platonic but they love each other to such an unconditional way that they ALL decide to relive through all the scenarios again in the hope of finding kim dokja again. and later, they all help to write and spread a story - stories, the thing the reader loves - again, in hopes of bringing kdj back home. they aren't sure if it'll work, but it is through this love they all have that they don't give up and put their hope in this seemingly impossible method

and this is also what makes them fundamentally different from kdj. unlike kim dokja in the apocalypse, they do not have any sort of proof their methods will work. kdj has twsa - the novel he grew up reading, the novel he fantasized living in, the novel that he's spent 13 years following, learning every nook and cranny and probably even planning out his own way to survive the apocalypse from this lengthy novel. he has some sort of assurance his methods will work, with the amount of time hsy put into describing the settings (remember that twsa was not popular and one of the complaints was that tls123 put too much emphasis on the settings that deterred people from reading it, when really, that too was a way to ensure kdj survived the apocalypse later on). he has had time to reassure himself and plan for it, and probably had yjh case test them all

but kdj's company had no assurance - they did not grow up with a book that confirmed their methods of bringing kdj back would work. they did not have any 'third plans', no 'ressurections', no 'restarts', that kdj had in the apocalypse. all they had was their own hope - something kdj didn't have when he was fifteen sitting in that hospital bed after that failed suicide attempt, feeling like the whole world was against him. Until he searched up those three words on his phone. Those three words that were probably 'Ways of Survival'.

And then he found his hope in twsa. he found his hope in yjh, the protagonist made just for him. he found hope in the story that he believed in for the next thirteen years. the story that got him through high school, the CSATs, the military. his hope was in this tangible book that carried him through the apocalypse.

kdj's company had none of that. they only had their hope in kim dokja - the man they survived the scenarios with. they could only put their hope in their memories of surviving with the man that saved them, even though there was no evidence he lived in their world anymore. they had to put their hope in the fact that they remembered he existed, even though they had to acknowledge that they didn't know everything about him.

sing shong touches upon this idea a lot throughout orv - does something really exist if no one knows about it? or, in a more modern saying, did a fallen tree in a forest really fall if no one heard it? what proves the existence of something? what proves that something truly happened? sing shong seems to make it pretty clear that the existence of something can be represented metaphorically like a 'story', and stories need a 'reader', some sort of spectator that witnesses it, for the 'story' to exist.

for kim dokja, his final sacrifice, where he split into infinite little pieces scattered across the universe, was to ensure that everything existed. that open ending, as tragic as it was, was meant to be comforting. that his sacrifice was supposed to be so existences like you and me, are real. no matter how lonely we may feel throughout our lives, a metaphorical 'kim dokja' is looking at our own stories, spectating our own stories, even living our own lives himself.

and what i hate to say sometimes is that kim dokja is not really a character - he is an idea. he is an idea of some being affirming our lives, that it's real, that what we do from day to day, even something as simple as getting up in the mornings and brushing your teeth, or thumbing through a store catalog, matters. and this is why kim dokja sacrificed himself. for all the stories that may have not 'existed' if no one was watching it.

and it's out of love. this tragic, terrible love for the world, that eats away at yourself until you are nothing. but at least you exist.

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

i just rewatched ‘the woman who fell to earth’ a couple of days ago for the first time since it aired back in 2018 and the more i think about it, the more i like it.

thirteen is the only doctor for whom i feel a tangible, rose-tinted nostalgia. she wasn’t my first doctor, but she was the first doctor i watched live, the first doctor that i spent an actual extended period of time with over the episode rollout. her intro episode has middling parts (as can be expected with most episodes of Who) but there’s also so much good that i really want to highlight.

first of all, there are some really great character dynamics set up here. much more interesting than i remember, tbh. ryan is a guy who loves mechanics but is stuck in a warehouse job he hates, a guy who obviously wants to connect to people, a guy who by the end of the episode has lost both his mother and grandmother in the space of a couple of years and the step-grandfather he didn’t really want is all he has left (minus his absent father). that’s interesting.

yaz has a keen sense of justice and this raw, intense yearning to help people, to do something worthwhile, something more - the way she has chosen to express that is through law enforcement, but it’s not quite giving her the satisfaction she wants. that’s interesting.

graham’s experience with cancer means that he constantly feels like he’s living on borrowed time. meeting grace gave him purpose, gave him family, gave him the will to fight when he fought it was all but over, but now grace is gone. he and ryan aren’t related, but they’re family, and now they’ve got to figure out how to care for each other without the very lynchpin that brought them together. once again with feeling: interesting!

“i’m just a traveller. sometimes i see things that need fixing. i do what i can.” i like that they circle back to the ‘just some guy’ portrayal of the doctor here, both because it’s the one i’m partial to and because it feeds particularly well into the whole ‘the doctor is an unreliable narrator’ aspect, especially in the wake of the increased deification in the moffat era. it's a nice set up, even if it gets completely overhauled circa series 12/13. in fact, having thirteen keep this as a persistent attitude throughout the Timeless Child of it all could have been really effective re: her reticence with her companions and refusal to address or deal with her past.

the scene where thirteen builds her sonic screwdriver might be one of my favourite sequences in nuwho. i love that it’s a hybrid of alien tech and sheffield steel. i also love that they highlight the ‘mad inventor’ side of the doctor here (her teleportation circuit is based around a microwave?) and wish that they had carried it forward more. it would have been the perfect basis for her to bond with ryan over. jodie also pulls off the humour of the episode well, considering the significant shift from moffat dialogue.

i enjoy thirteen's outfit: the vibrancy of it as mirroring her childish excitability, but also as another part of the mask - if i dress all colourful then maybe i can ignore/outrun/masquerade my great capacity for darkness! etc etc. the shopping trip with yaz and ryan is a bit shoe-horned in at the end but it's cute that she finds it in a charity shop. (back in 2018 i bought a t-shirt with a couple of stripes across the chest solely because it remotely resembled the one she wore lol. nerd from a young age, me.) jodie also looks soo hot in capaldi's outfit though so a spin on the traditional suit would also have been appreciated.

some miscellaneous points: i like that she tells Karl off (“you had no right to do that”) right after saving him. i like that she gets it wrong at first and makes it clear that she’s working on the fly. she’s following her instinct, and that instinct is to help people. doctor who has been beautiful before but the cinematography takes such a huge step this era. “it’s been a long time since i bought women’s clothes” i am choosing to believe this is about river thank you and good night.

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

Surprise. Post Azkaban!Sirius x Mom!Reader

Before leaving the country, Sirius makes a stop to see how his former love is doing. Turns out, you have a daughter who looks strangely like him…

Set shortly after PoA

Part Two

From across the street and hiding behind some trees, Sirius watches your home. He's only been here for a short time, but looking through the windows he's gotten a few glimpses of you and what seems to be your child.

Sirius can’t pretend to be surprised that you moved on from him. Sure, you two had a great thing going on, but there was no legitimate reason for you to remain loyal to Sirius after he went to Azkaban. Just like everyone else, you have no idea of Sirius’s innocence.

You? An intelligent, fun, beautiful woman with your whole life ahead of you? It’s no surprise you found someone else to settle down with.

Your life didn't end just because Sirius’s did. You deserve to live a happy life, even if Sirius didn't get to be a part of it.

But still… no matter how many times Sirius tries to rationalize the situation, he can't ignore the way his chest tightens at the thought of you having a family with another man.

He wants to be happy for you, but it's hard when he feels so sorry for himself.

Sirius gets his first real look at you after about an hour of watching, and Merlin… things haven't changed much. You're still just as beautiful as the day he met you.

Sirius watches, silent and still as a statue as you walk further away from your house and closer to where Sirius is in hiding. Your hair is shorter than he remembers, and perhaps a little darker in color. It looks good on you.

You stop walking once you reach the sidewalk and Sirius assumes you're about to disapparate. Maybe off to work? He wonders what you do now. Hopefully, you're not still working at the Ministry; he knows you hated it there.

Just as you're about to disappear, the front door of your home flies open and a young girl runs out after you, shouting, “Mum! Mum!!!”

Sirius has a hard time focusing on what the girl is saying afterward. His eyes widen and it feels like his heart stops beating.

The girl looks to be about Harry’s age, perhaps a little younger. She looks exactly like you—undeniably so— but there's something else. Your hair doesn't curl like that, and your eyes aren't so strikingly grey.

It can’t be.

Loose curly hair and grey eyes aren’t such uncommon traits. Maybe you have a type and your husband looks vaguely similar to Sirius.

The only thing is… Sirius doesn't see any jewelry on your hands, much less a band around your ring finger. And Sirius has yet to see a man walking past the windows of your home.

…

It can't be.

The longer Sirius looks at the girl, the more he questions if that's your nose or his nose. It looks a little too long to be yours. Those high cheekbones don't match yours either.

The girl looks to be eleven or twelve, and if you were in the early stages of pregnancy when Sirius was incarcerated almost thirteen years ago, then…

Holy shit.

The girl is his. She has to be his. The only way she’s not his is if you were cheating on Sirius with someone who looks just like him, or if you hooked up with someone who looks just like him shortly after Sirius was locked up. Both options seem a lot less likely than the girl just belonging to Sirius.

Holy shit!

Sirius stares as the girl looks up at you and smiles. Her K9s are slightly more pronounced than the rest of her teeth—again, just like Sirius’s!

At first glance, the girl was an exact copy of you, but the more Sirius looks, the more details of himself he finds within her.

He can't believe it; Sirius has a child. A little girl.

Only she’s not so little. She’s at least of age to be a Hogwarts student, and Sirius knows nothing about her. Not even her name.

He doubts you gave the girl his daughter his surname. Sirius Black is widely known as Voldemort’s ‘right-hand man’; it wouldn’t be in her best interest for everyone to think she’s the daughter of a highly-ranked Death Eater.

Sirius sighs bitterly, that heavy feeling in his chest not going away anytime soon. The mother of his child and his daughter think he's nothing more than a cold-blooded killer. A traitor.

He wonders if either of you will ever know the truth, or if his daughter even knows who her father is. Likely, you never told her, thinking it's for the best if she doesn't know.

After a few minutes of talking, his daughter waves you goodbye and starts making her way back to the house. Before disapperating, you call out to her “Estelle! Don't forget to feed the cat!”

She waves her hand in acknowledgment, not looking back at you. “Yes, mum.”

Estelle. Sirius grins in a happy surprise. Latin for star.

Link to Part Two

[hungermakesmonsters]

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Thirteen

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R  Chapter Rating : PG-13

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Just so much angst. All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 4.7k

A/N : Sorry not sorry?

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | CHAPTER SIX | CHAPTER SEVEN | CHAPTER EIGHT | CHAPTER NINE | CHAPTER TEN | CHAPTER ELEVEN | CHAPTER TWELVE

MASTER LIST

Chapter Thirteen

You couldn’t sit still, couldn’t relax. 

You tried, for the sake of Karen and Frank who seemed to watch your every little twitch and movement as you got up to refill your coffee mug or to look out of the window. Karen had suggested going out for breakfast, reminding you that Billy wouldn’t be awake for hours, and Frank gave a grumbled agreement, obviously wanting the pair of you gone so he could sleep through the day. But you weren’t hungry and you didn’t want to go out.

She tried again at lunch time and received the same response, but, since you hadn’t eaten, she managed to guilt you into going to the little diner down the street for an hour. You could tell that she was nervous, almost as if she knew something that you didn’t - but, of course she did. She’d spent the evening with Frank and he’d probably told her exactly what was going on

It was a feeling that soon started to gnaw at you, wondering what the pair of them had spoken about after you’d gone to bed, hating that she knew more about the situation than you did.

When you got back to the penthouse, you went back to your rooms, showering and using washing your hair as an excuse to get some space, the whole process taking longer than usual because of your broken arm. 

Then you drew blood for Billy, wanting everything to be ready for him when he got up, some part of you hoping that things could go back to normal straight away.

It wasn’t until you reached the fridge that you noticed all of the blood you’d put in there over the last few days was gone. Had he had it all last night or had Frank gotten rid of it? 

You returned to your room until Karen called you out to the penthouse just as the sun was starting to set.

Nerve quickly took hold, no longer sure what you wanted to say to Billy. You just wanted to see him, know that he was alright, the rest could come after that. You took a deep breath before stepping out into the penthouse, expecting to find him there waiting. He wasn’t.

“He’s waitin’ for you in the library,” Frank told you before you could ask. “Wants a quick word before we head to the office.”

“He’s going back to work?” You asked, confused.

It shouldn’t have shocked you, it had been almost two weeks since he’d last gone in, but the state he was in last night made you wonder if it was really the right decision. Frank didn’t offer you any explanation or reassurance, he just shrugged.

You decided it was best to talk to Billy about it, and quickly started towards the library, wanting nothing more than to be able to talk to him and finally get some answers to all the questions you’d been struggling with over the last few days.

He was standing near the window, looking out at the view when you entered, all dressed up in a dark charcoal suit, ready for work. 

Your breath caught when he finally turned to look at you and you felt your heart start to beat a little faster, and you couldn’t tell if it was nerves or something else that was causing it.

You took a few steps towards him, the corner of your lips pulling upwards, happy to be with him again, despite the circumstances. But, when he noticed how close you were getting, he seemed to bristle.

“Why don’t you have a seat?” He said, his voice measured giving a false air of calm.

You frowned, hesitating for a second, wanting to move closer to him, not further away. But, after a moment, you did as you were asked and took a seat on the worn leather sofa. For a few seconds you watched him, expecting him to come and sit with you, or at least move a little closer, but he didn’t.

“I want to start by saying I’m sorry,” he continued speaking in that same tone, sounding almost distant, cold. “I never should have put you in that situation, and I’m sorry that you were hurt.”

“No, Billy, that’s not -” you weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, but he didn’t give you the chance to finish.

“I realise now that I’ve been selfish. I’ve been putting you in danger, over and over again, and it needs to stop.”

Dread filled you, your heart feeling like he’d reached into your chest and taken hold of it, squeezing it uncomfortably, causing it to stutter. Your lungs burned, refusing to draw breath. You shook your head, trying to convince yourself that he didn’t mean what you thought that he meant, but he soon confirmed all your fears.

“I took advantage of you - I can see that now, and I really am sorry,” he carried on in that same empty tone, barely looking at you enough to see that there were tears welling in the corners of your eyes. “I understand that you rejected the offer Lissa extended on my behalf, but I’m willing to double it. I know it doesn’t make up for the pain I’ve caused you but -”

“You’re paying me to go away?” Your voice broke and the first tear fell.

“No, that’s not - I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

You held up your broken arm, making sure he looked, making sure he acknowledged what he’d done to you. “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

Billy paled at the comment, taking a step back and letting out a ragged breath.

“Can’t you just -”

“What? Go quietly? Leave so you can pretend this never happened?” You answered back, anger quickly mixing with the hurt. You sniffled, trying so desperately to stay in control of yourself. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because you got hurt - I hurt you. More than once. It’s better for both of us if you go.” Finally, there was a break in his tone, actual emotion starting to seep through. You could tell that he was upset, that he was angry and annoyed but, more than that, you could tell he was just as lost as you were.

“No.”

“No?”

“No. I’m not going anywhere. You asked me to stay. You made me want to stay with you,” you told him defiantly, watching as your words hit home. “You don’t get to make me feel like... like this and then send me away.”

“You’re not -”

“How is it better for me, Billy? How is being on my own with nowhere to go better?” The panic was quick to mix with the hurt in your tone, your heart racing a mile a minute.

He gave a heavy sigh, fingers tearing through his hair. “What do you want from me? I’m trying to make this easier for both of us.”

“You’re trying to make it easier for you. I don’t need easy, I want honesty. I want to know what’s going on.”

“You want honesty?” He almost laughed. “You mean like you’ve been honest with me?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I know about your fiance.”

You could have screamed. You very nearly did scream. “He is not my fiance. I told you - I told you what my parents are like. I will never marry that man after what he did to me.”

The change in Billy was almost instant, a familiar spark in him that seemed to ignite just at the suggestion that someone had hurt you in any way. If nothing else, it was reassuring to know that some part of him still cared, even if he was doing all he could to bury that part and forget all about it.  

“You told me I got to have a choice here. Well this is my choice, Billy; I’m staying,” you told him, getting to your feet. “If you want me gone, you’re going to have to fire me. It should be easy for you, you’ve made me break enough of your rules...”

“You’d make me do that? Fire you and kick you out with nothing?” He asked, trying to make you see how ridiculous you were being.

You shrugged. “If I leave here I’ll have nothing anyway.”

“You’d have money, enough to start a new life, enough to -”

“I don’t want your money and I don’t want a new life,” you almost shouted. “I want my life. I want the life I get to choose.”

“Then you need to start making better choices,” he finally snapped, the forced calm gone from his voice completely and leaving behind nothing but frustration. “Because, this thing that’s wrong with me... there’s no fixing it, it won’t get any better, and the next time you might not get away with just a broken arm and I can’t have that on my conscience.”

“And how am I supposed to know about any of that when you won’t talk to me? When you always try to run away every time things get hard?” You asked, your own tone turning just as fraught. “You let me think I was helping, that I could help you. You made me feel like I mattered and now you’re just throwing me away.”

“You do matter. All of this is because you matter.”

You watched as he fought against himself, taking a step towards you then turning away, looking as lost as you felt in all of this. More than anything, you wanted to go to him, to just wrap your arms around him and not let go, but you knew that wouldn’t solve anything.

“Then tell me,” you challenged, “tell me why you’d rather send me away than let me stay. Tell me what happened that night.”

When he looked back, there was anger and discomfort written across his face and something else too. Hatred. He hated that you were doing this to him and it was almost enough to make you feel sick. But, at that moment, you hated him a little too. You hated all of this and everything he was trying to do.

Billy took a slow breath, his jaw clenching before he finally started to speak.

“I went looking for Krista...”

“Did you -” you faltered, not sure how to ask the question, “- you were covered in blood, was that...?”

Billy shook his head. “It was mostly mine.”

Even though you’d asked the question, once you had the answer you wished that you hadn’t. You didn’t ask the obvious follow up, instead you nodded and waited for him to continue.

“The thing that I have - the sickness - she has it too. I didn’t realise until I saw her lose control.” He paused for a moment, taking a breath. “It’s a disease,” he continued, his voice low, “it takes every vampire impulse and makes it impossible to control. It silences every part of us that’s still human.” 

“How do you get it?” You asked quietly, needing to find out everything you could.

“You either get it from the person who turns you, or by being fed on by someone carrying it. It stays dormant in humans and only becomes active if they’re turned.”

You listened carefully, absorbing what he told you, still trying to make sense of it all.

“But Frank -”

“No, Frank doesn’t have it,” he answered before you could even finish.

“Then, how?”

The air between you became suddenly tense and you could tell from the look on Billy’s face that he really didn’t want to talk about it. At any other time you would have withdrawn the question, not wanting to see him looking so uncomfortable, but you knew that you might never get another chance like this to find out what was going on with him.

“When I was a kid,” he offered before pausing, as if he was considering leaving the story there, before continuing. “There was a guy who used to volunteer in the evening at the group home. At first he seemed cool, letting us stay out late playing hoops and stick ball, but then he -”

Billy stopped and you watched him almost twitch at the memory. You didn’t ask him to carry on, you could already guess. Only, you soon realised, that that was only scratching the surface. 

“Turned out he liked the kids more than he let on,” Billy finally carried on, and the sick feeling in your stomach only got worse, “he told me I was pretty and broke my arm when I told him that I wasn’t interested in those kinds of games, then he bit me.”

“Billy, I...” your voice was little more than a whisper, your head spinning. Was he comparing himself to the man who’d hurt him? Was that why he was so set on you leaving? You looked down at your own broken arm and shuddered.

“He only fed on me a couple of times, but it was enough to infect me,” Billy went on. “I didn’t find out until a month or so after I was turned... I completely lost control. Frank nearly had to kill me to stop me.”

“And Krista... did you -”

“No, I never bit her...” he was quick to answer, but there was a strange hint of guilt in his voice.

“Then how?” 

“Layla...” he said, awkwardly swallowing. You’d heard that name before. “She was the one before Krista and I -”

He didn’t need to say it, the look on his face told you everything that you needed to know.

“You turned her?” You asked and he nodded, looking physically sick. “By accident?” He nodded again.

“Krista must have found her after I fired her. I don’t know if they’re working together but Layla must have turned her...” Billy let out a sigh. “Krista wants to ruin my life and she knows that you’re the way to do it. She triggered the thing inside me when she told me about your fiance. And when I saw you that night...”

Mine. That’s what he’d said to you, just before hurting you. He’d been claiming you. (Maybe he hadn’t been trying to hurt you after all - though that seemed like a very dangerous thing to think given the circumstances.)

Silence filled the room for at least a minute as you tried to think of the right words to say. You didn’t want to think the worst of him, even now, but you were starting to see the havoc he’d caused in so many lives. Maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault, but you were so tired of trying to think of excuses for him.

Finally, you had your answers, but they brought you no comfort. In fact you felt worse for knowing; you felt empty, hollowed out. It felt like he was telling you because he was drawing a line beneath whatever you had been, like it didn’t matter if you found out because you’d be gone soon.

“Is there a cure? A way to treat it?” You asked.

“There isn’t,” he answered, “I’ve spent the last fifteen years looking for one.”

“But -” 

“There’s no fixing it. There’s no making any of it any better,” Billy sighed. “So it’s better for both of us if you just take the money and go because there’s no happy ending here, not if we’re together.”

“There’s no happy ending if I go either,” you told him with a sniffle. “If I leave I’ll end up right back where I started, with the man my parents practically sold me to. A man who doesn’t care about giving me a choice...” 

Billy awkwardly swallowed, trying to get rid of a lump in his throat, his hands clenching to fists at your words.

“You don’t have to go back to them. You could go anywhere.”

“They’d find me,” you muttered, starting to feel numb and cold, like he’d reached inside of you and scooped out all the hope and joy. “I was lying to myself thinking I could get away from them...”

“I could -”

“If you’re sending me away, I don’t want your help. I don’t want anything from you.”

“But -”

“No,” you sighed, finally resigned to what this was. You forced yourself to look at him, despite the tears in your eyes. “You’re not going to change my mind. I’m not leaving unless you make me leave. If you don’t want to see me or have anything to do with me, that’s fine; I’ll do my job and stay out of your way. But I’m not leaving until my contract ends.”

“What if I -” he tried, starting to get frustrated again.

“It’s not a negotiation, Billy,” you told him, managing to sound firm despite the way your heart was racing. “Besides, you said yourself that you keep doing this with the women who come to work for you. What sort of person would I be if I walked away now and let you move on to the next poor girl?”

It was a low blow, and you didn’t want to be cruel, but what Billy was doing hurt and you’d be damned if he got you to leave just so he could move on to the next one.

“I wouldn’t.”

“Why? Because this meant something to you?” You shook your head. “Don’t bother, Billy. I get it. I’m just one in a long line of women naive enough to think you could love them.”

“I’m not doing this because I don’t care.”

“How many times have you said those words? How many times have you brought someone into your home and made them care about you?” You asked but quickly shook your head, not wanting to know the answer. “You told me that you’d never been wanted, but I’m starting to think that was just a line. I think you make people want you and then you push them away because it scares you. I wanted you. I wanted to stay - here, after, with you, just like you asked.”

You started to move towards the door, your hand scrubbing at your cheeks, wanting to wipe away any sign of tears before you had to face Karen and Frank again. Stopping just shy of the door, you turned back to him.

“You could’ve talked to me about this, you could have given me a real choice before we started this instead of letting me think I was helping you,” you told him, desperately trying to hold yourself together. “Broken bones heal, but what you’ve broken today? That’s going to hurt for the rest of my life.”

“Wait -” you heard him as you reached for the door handle.

You didn’t stop, didn’t even turn to hear him out, you knew he was just going to hurt you more. There was movement behind you, but you didn’t wait, walking out into the penthouse to find Karen and Frank waiting for you. 

They were sitting together on the sofa but both stood the moment you emerged, Karen giving you a sympathetic look as you wiped your eyes. You almost expected Billy to follow after you, almost hoped that he would, but he didn’t and that was all the sign you needed that you’d just done the right thing.

“You can come stay with me, we’ll get your things and -” Karen started, already stepping towards you.

“What?” You asked before realising what was going on. They were in on it. Karen and Frank both knew that Billy had been trying to get rid of you, and they’d both gone along with it. “No, I’m not going anywhere.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the penthouse for a few seconds, all eyes on you.

“Damn it,” Frank grumbled, “did he not explain to you that -”

“He did,” you interrupted, “and I explained to him that if he wants me gone, then he’s going to have to fire me.”

“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?”

“Frank...” Karen tried to calm him down.

“Can’t you see what you’re doin’ to him?” He said, as if he thought he could make you feel guilty after everything Billy had said and done. He couldn’t.

“I’m not doing anything to Billy that he didn’t do to me first,” you answered back, feeling a little bolder than usual. Maybe it was because everything already hurt so much that you couldn’t even bring yourself to care what might happen if you upset a vampire like Frank. 

He looked ready to say something when Karen put her hand on his arm. For a moment more, he stared at you, before huffing. 

“Can you talk some fuckin’ sense into her?” He grumbled at Karen before heading to the library.

You almost let him walk by without further comment, but you found you just couldn’t help yourself. “We were fine until the party. If you want to blame someone for this, maybe you should look at yourself. You’re the one that made him doubt himself...”

Frank paused for a moment and your heart rate spiked as he glared at you. It was almost enough to have you shrinking back, feeling like you’d pushed a little too hard. He shook his head before storming into the library.

Karen let out a sigh before stepping towards you, trying to usher you into your rooms. You went, but not because that was where she wanted to go.

“I know what you’re going to say,” you sighed, walking into your room and heading towards the window, looking out at the city at night. “And you’re not going to change my mind.”

Out in the penthouse, you heard the sound of the elevator; Frank and Billy were leaving.

“Can you at least tell me why you’re doing this? I get that you have feelings for him, but -”

“It’s not that. I’m not staying because I think I can change his mind or make him care about me,” you told her, giving a defeated shrug. “It just... it took so much out of me to leave everything behind and come to New York. I finally got used to being here - I like being here - I can’t just walk out on the only place I’ve ever felt comfortable.”

“You don’t have to leave New York. You have friends here, people besides Billy,” Karen offered softly. 

“It’s not enough, you won’t be able to stop them from taking me back when they find me. I’m safer here than I would be anywhere else.”

“Who is this guy that you’re so scared of?” Karen finally asked the million dollar question.

The question was followed by a long silence, making it clear that you didn’t want to tell her, but Karen didn’t move, didn’t try to change the subject or carry on the conversation. She was waiting for an answer and, it seemed, she would wait as long as it took to get one.

“He’s a very old and very powerful vampire,” you finally answered. “He’s part of a criminal organisation called the Maggia.”

When you heard Karen take an awkward breath, you knew that you didn’t need to explain any more than that, in her work she’d no doubt heard of the organised crime network that spanned the whole globe. 

It felt strange to finally say it, to finally admit just how screwed you were. Honestly, you thought that it would feel different, to expose what you were running from, but you just felt tired and resigned. It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

“And your parents owe him money,” she stated and you nodded. “So, what was your plan? Use the million dollars Billy is going to pay you to disappear or were you going to try and pay him back?”

You pressed the heel of your palm to your eye, feeling fraught and exhausted. “I don’t have a plan. I could never raise what my parents owe and, at this point, I don't think he'd let me just pay him off.”

It sucked to finally say those words out loud and admit to yourself that you really didn’t know what you were doing. You’d come to New York with the hopes that you could disappear, that a million dollars would be enough to vanish completely but if you’d learned one thing from Madani it was that you were easy to find. Too easy.

“I thought that I’d have it all figured out by the end of my year here but maybe I won’t. So,” you shrugged again, “if I’m going to end up back there with him, I’d rather spend the rest of the time I have here feeling comfortable and safe, hoping that he doesn’t find me until my year is up.”

“You don’t have to let that happen, we could -”

“Please, don’t tell Billy,” you begged. “I don’t want his pity.”

“It’s not pity. He could help. We all could. You’ve got friends here.”

“No, Frank was right - I just make things worse for everyone - and I don’t want to do that anymore,” you told her. “If you’re really my friend, please don’t tell him. Don’t tell Frank. Don’t tell anyone. If you do, I’ll have to leave.”

It was a childish threat but one you knew you’d follow through on; you didn’t want Billy to know. You didn’t want his pity, didn’t want him to know what awaited you.

“You can’t just give up.”

“Why not? Billy already gave up on me,” you muttered, not wanting to feel sorry for yourself but finding it almost impossible.

“That’s not what happened. He cares about you, he wants to keep you safe. That’s why we all thought it would be best if you left.”

You looked at her for a moment, sure that she believed every word she was saying. But you knew better than that, you’d looked him in the eyes as he said it, as he pushed you away to protect himself, because he didn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions.

“It doesn’t matter. Billy made his choice, and it wasn’t me.” 

“I know that’s how it probably feels -”

“That’s how it is. He wants to send me away so he can forget all about me,” you interrupted, somehow managing to keep a neutral tone despite the fact that your heart was breaking.

“We’re going to figure this out,” Karen decided. “Whether you stay here with Billy or not, I’m not going to let them take you back home.”

A sigh slipped out and you nodded, managing something of a smile. You knew that she meant well, but you already knew that there was nothing she could do to help. Now there was no chance of you staying with Billy, enjoying the protection that he could offer, you knew that you’d eventually end up right back where you started.

“Now that everything's back to normal, you don’t have to stay,” you told her. “You can go back to your life...”

“I can stay a few more days,” she offered.

“No, I -” you let out a sigh, “- I appreciate it. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I think it’d be easier for everyone if we all just got back to normal.”

Only, you knew that it wasn’t going to be normal for you, not when Billy wanted nothing to do with you. You were going to have to get used to being alone again.

Without warning, Karen pulled you into a hug and held you tight. You drew a shuddered breath, lightly wrapping your good arm around her, knowing she was trying her best to comfort you, even though you felt inconsolable. She held on for a few seconds before finally pulling back.

“Are you sure?” She asked and you nodded. “I’ll still see you on Thursdays,” she promised. “I’ll make arrangements with Billy so you can have a night out with me, Matt and Foggy again some time soon.” 

You nodded along, only half listening as she made plans for things you could do as she slowly began to pack up her things. She lingered longer than you expected her to and, by the time she left, you felt so numb that you couldn’t even bring yourself to cry. You put on your pyjamas and climbed into bed, deciding to watch TV, starting up the next episode of Black Sails, knowing that there was no point in waiting for Billy to continue watching any more.

End Note : 😅😅 Okay so I know that probably didn't answer ALL the questions people have had, but I've tried to at lest answer a few. I'm sorry this one is so angsty and sad. Also... yes the Maggia is something from Marvel comics, is it going to be accurate and canon? No, probably not 😅

Thanks so much for reading/commenting/reblogging/liking. I'm so happy so many people are still following along! Have a great weekend!

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@ashy-kit

[spidybaby]

One where you're Gavi's older sister and you have a bad relationship. You and Pedri have a secret relationship and at a party Gavi find out about the relationship and is mad at you not at pedri because he doesn't wants to loose him as a friend

Golden Child | part 1

Summary: You're Pablo's older sister, even tho you don't have a good relationship you help him during his injury and find yourself getting involved with Pedri.

Warnings: cursing.

A/N: So I write Gavi as a toxic brother, but I don't think he's like that at all. Also, Aurora is going to be older. Please keep in mind that this is fictional, not based on reality. Love you 💛

Part two | Part Three

Growing up with a brother like Pablo was not easy. He used to be everybody's favorite. He was the star of the family. He was he.

Something that he couldn't be was his parents number one child. Something he hated. Specifically, he couldn't beat the way his parents loved his older sister.

He grew up with two sisters. Aurora, who's twenty-four, and Y/n, who's twenty one.

Aurora and him were very close. They enjoyed doing things together. They were like a team.

On the other hand him and Y/n never had a good relationship. Not because she didn't want to, but because Pablo heavily dislike her.

She was the picture-perfect child. Perfect grades, perfect attitude, always doing what she's told to do. Pablo was not a bad kid, but he wasn't her.

Growing up, they used to be civil with each other. Respecting their personal space, not fighting.

Everything changed when Arturo, who used to be Pablo's best friend, fell in love with his sister. She was fourteen, and they were twelve. She, of course, never had any interest in Arturo.

But one night, when Arturo told her that he was in love with her, she was fifteen. She laughed, finding the whole situation funny. Rejected the thirteen year old boy and walked away from the scene.

Arturo didn't take that well. He felt humiliated. He fought with Pablo, telling him that he never wanted to be close to him or his sister.

Pablo never understood what happened, so he blamed his sister for it. That's where the fights began there. Pablo used every chance he had to bother his sister.

He used to leave her out of things, pull her hair, hide her things, and delete her important things from her computer.

His parents scold him and ground him without playing football. But that didn't work. After a while, she got used to it and didn't even told her parents about it anymore.

When Pablo became more serious with football, he focused his whole energy on the field. But he never agreed on fixing things.

Every time Aurora tried to be the mediator, she ended scolding Pablo about the hurtful things he said to her, making her cry. Pablo ended up laughing and leaving the room. Luckily for him, she moved to Barcelona to study.

For Pablo, the best moment in his career was when he became part of Barça first team. He was all smiles, and no doubt you were proud of your baby brother.

When your parents called you and told you that he got limited people to be there and had to choose for you to not join them when the announcement was made, it broke your heart.

Aurora found out that was a lie when she was helping him with some things for that day, she immediately told you.

She wanted you to go with the whole family and even told you she was telling your parents about what Pablo did. But you begged her not to, you didn't want to be the reason his day was ruined.

"Rora, por favor." You begged. "Don't tell mom."

"I'm just so mad at him. How dare he lied to us that way?"

"I don't know, but it's okay. He can choose who to have there."

"You're his sister."

"It's okay. I promise I'm okay."

You were not okay with the news, but you fake a smile and told Aurora how relieved you were because you had nothing to wear. Lies, you spend your savings on buying a nice outfit for the occasion. That night, you cried yourself to sleep.

Having him close but so far at the same time was horrible. You tried everything in you to get to see him but after all the read text, after he didn't return any of your calls or even try to make a space for you in his life, you were done hurting yourself. So you decided to have zero contact with Pablo.

He saw the glory, acting like Aurora was his only sister. He even started to tell new people in his life that, yes, Aurora was his only sister. Thing that neither Aurora nor you knew about, thinking it was because people didn't know about you for not being as public as Aurora.

It wasn't easy, seeing him everywhere in posters at every place in Barcelona, or the games, or when you see people wearing his number on their jerseys. But you had to remember that he was the one that didn't want you there, and as much as it hurts, you respect his decision.

"But mami, why am I supposed to do?" You ask uninterested. "I get he's hurt but, he's not dying."

"Y/n, please. I know you have your own things going on, but neither Daddy nor I can go to check him. And Aurora is on finals. Please baby."

Pablo got injured during a game. His muscles were not very good, and he needed to rest. Your parents were in Sevilla. They couldn't just leave work and go to check on him.

So they ask you to take care of him. You nicely said no because you didn't want to put yourself in a position where Pablo could easily attack you.

But when they find out he needed help to do things like getting upstairs, get dressed carefully, and take his medication. Your parents start begging you to help them.

"Okay, I'll do it." You say frustrated. "But what am I supposed to do? Move myself from here to there and back again? You have no idea how expensive that is going to be."

"Mi amor, daddy and I are taking care of that. Don't worry."

"But are you sure Pablo is okay with this?"

"Si, hija. Ya te lo repetí cinco veces." (Yes, I already repeat it five times)

"Got it, I'll go to his house before he gets back from training."

"Gracias, do you know the door code? Because I have it somewhere"

"Yes, I know it." You interrupted. "Listen, I have to go get ready if I want to be on time. I'll tell him to call you."

You say your goodbyes, promising her that everything was going to be fine.

The Uber from your house to Pablo's was kind of expensive. Due to being in a zone meant for students and his being on a gated community, it was basically going to the other side of Barcelona.

"Gracias." You say getting out of the car and entering the house. Once you're inside, you find yourself amazed. It was a beautiful and very minimalistic place.

You looked around, there's pictures of him with the rest of your family, some pictures with Aurora, with his friends.

You were earlier than you expected to be. You thankfully packed your computer and books. Not wanting to just be around doing nothing.

About twenty minutes later, you heard the front door opening. You sense other voices.

"Cuidado, que no queremos que te lastimes más de lo que ya estas " (careful, we don't want you to hurt yourself more than you already are)

You stayed quiet, looking at the two boys helping Pablo.

"There you go. Let me bring you your crutches. Pedri help me with his backpack "

He stayed still, grabbing the door.

"Pablo," you say low.

He turned his head to you. He knew you would be there because your mother told him.

"Dejame ayudarte," you ask, seeing him struggling to stand on his own. (Let me help you)

"No." He harshly moved his arm from you. "My friends are doing that already."

"I know but-"

"Help me with bringing me water, I need to take a pill."

The way he turns his back to you is making you mad. You were there to help him, no need to act like a little boy.

"Is cold water okay?" You ask, he ignored you. So you take that as a yes. You walk into the kitchen, searching for the cups.

"Y/n" Pablo call you.

"Yes?"

"Can you bring another cup of water?"

"Okay." You say grabbing another cup. "A please would be nice, tho." You whisper to yourself.

You walk back, finding two other boys. One blonde and tall and other a little taller than Pablo, black hair and very full eyebrows.

"Here," you hand him the water. "This is for?" You ask.

"For me." The black hair guy says. "Thank you."

You smile at him, a little shy about starting a conversation. "Where's your medicine? You need to take not one but two pills." You say, remembering the doctors note your mother sent you.

"Only one, today they told me that I can drop the other one."

"Where is it?" You ask. He ignored you because he was on his phone

"Is in his room, I think." The blonde one says. You wanted to throw a pillow at your brother. Not even caring to answer a simple question.

You smiled and nodded, making your way upstairs and entering room for room until you found your brother's one. The pills were easy to find. They were on his nightstand, It was the only thing there.

You look at the disorder of his room, you'll help him cleaning a bit because it was hard for you to believe he can sleep with all of this.

"Found it," you say, getting back. "Do you need more water?"

"Mhm"

"I'll be back."

"But not cold water." He hands you the cup back. You nod, kind of uncomfortable with the whole interaction. After all, it was the first one in a year.

You go back in the kitchen, filling the cup with water and making another trip back to the living room.

"Hey, since Pablo is not introducing us. I'm Frenkie." The blonde one says, smiling at you.

"And I'm Pedri." The black hair one says, imitating the actions of Frenkie.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Y/n." You only smile at them, not being the best at meeting new people.

After the boys introduce themselves, they chat a little. You notice that Pablo was on his phone the whole time. Giving half answers.

"Okay, we're leaving, Pablito. Please take care." Frenkie pats him on the back. "And y/n, nice to meet you."

"Bye," Pedri says, waving. You wave them goodbye.

After they left, the silence in the room was a not so nice one for you. Pablo was in his own world, focused on his phone.

"Pablo, are you hungry?" You ask picking up the empty cups. He ignored you.

You roll your eyes, trying to control the urge to throw him a cup. "Pablo, please answer." The way he keeps ignoring you is annoying. "Okay." You walk to the kitchen, droping the cups at the sink. Go back to where he is, pick up your backpack, and walk to the front door. "Have fun."

"Wait, where are you going? Mom said You'll help me." He finally acknowledged you.

"Mira, te voy a decir algo." (Look, I'm going to tell you something) you close the door. "Yo tengo mejores cosas que hacer que cuidarte, así que si no quieres mi ayuda me voy, no voy a aguantar tus cosas." (I have better things to do rather than take care of you. So if you don't want my help, I'm leaving, I'm not dealing with this attitude)

He has this surprise but angry face. When you were a kid, you loved the way his angry face looked, but now that you're mad at him, you heavily dislike it.

"So, I'm going to ask you one more time, only one, because if you pull this silence treatment one more time, I'm out the door." You put your backpack back on the couch. "Are you hungry? Yes or no?"

"Yes, very hungry," he says, looking at his phone.

"Now," you grab his wrist and separate his phone from his face. "Would you like me to cook something for you, or do you want takeout?"

"You cook?" He scuffs

"Pablo." You warn him.

"Vale, vale, no te enojes." He lift his hands "puedes hacerme un sandwich o cualquier cosa, no sé." (Okay, okay, don't get angry. You can make me a sandwich or something, i don't know.)

You sigh. It was going to be some hard weeks.

"Pablo, c'mon man, you have to do this, or you'll never progress." You say trying to get him to apply a gel the physiotherapist sent him.

"But it stinks." He says, slapping your hand away.

"Pablo, te quedas quieto y me dejas aplicarte esto o te lo voy a pasar por la cara." (Stay still and let me apply this to you, or I'll smush it all over your face) You dig your nails to his calves, thing you used to do back when you were kids and you had a fight.

"Stop that." He says, grabbing you by the wrists. "Don't do that." His tone is strong yet he's not yelling.

"It's everything alright?" You both turn your face to Pedri, who was carrying a fast food bag and some drinks.

"No." You both say.

"Okay, I'm leaving this on the counter and I'll help you deal with this dickhead."

"Eres un imbecil, Pedro." Pablo says, angry.

"Pablito, mi vida, escuchame." You whisper sweetly. "Let me apply this. The quicker you say yes, the quicker I'll do it. Por favor."

His eyes are back on you, mad expression on his face. He puff angrily, letting your hands go. You quickly open the gel and apply it the way it's supposed to.

"Ya, calmado?" Pedri asks, laughing. "I know that gel is the worst, but it's really refreshing." Pablo puffs again. "Venga macho, vamos a comer que te traje tu comida favorita." (C'mon man, let's eat, I bring you your favorite food.)

Pedri helps Pablo walk to the table. Since his crutches were somewhere else. You go into the kitchen and wash your hands really well. He was right that gel stinks.

"I bring you something to eat, I'm not sure what you like, so sorry if it's not what you expected." Pedri says, walking into the kitchen.

"You did?" In the last few days, he was a big help with your brother, always picking him to go to his therapy and back home. He nods, smiling. "Thank you, Pedri."

"Can one of you bring more napkins?" Pablo yelled. You turn to take the napkins, giving them to Pedri.

"You're not eating with us?" He asked, confused about you opening your laptop instead of going to the table with them.

"No, I have some homework, plus, this kid for the love of God can't keep his room organized, so I'll go help him with that." You say exasperated, opening your a word document.

"You're such a good cousin."

You stop on your tracks, trying not to show your expression. "A good what?" You ask without moving your eyes from your screen.

"A good cousin, I mean you took time out of your life to take care of Pablo." The way he's saying this in such a positive way. Not even knowing how the words he just said affect you.

"How do you know we are cousins?" You ask, smiling a little, pretending to continue the conversation.

"Pablo told us, he said the first time we met you that you were his cousin that was helping him with his injury."

You only nod. Feeling how your stomach is turning.

"Go back with him. You're probably hungry. " You want him out of the kitchen, not wanting your facial expressions to betray you. "Thanks for the food."

Once his out of the kitchen, you can feel some tears pooling in your eyes. Not sure if it's anger or betrayal.

"No pensé que fueras cule." Pedri says, entering the house and leaving the bag that belongs to Pablo on the table. (Didn't think you were a cule.)

"Well, Pablo plays for the team, so I kind of am." You joke, smiling at him. "But to be honest, Alexia is the only reason I'm watching the game."

"Alexia? God, she's the best." He takes a seat next to you. "She's like a firework."

"Also, Aitana, they're my favorites."

"You should ask Pablo to introduce you to them." He laughs, "We have full access to games for the feminine team. He can take you to a game." You only nod.

Since he told you how Pablo introduce you to them as a cousin, you barely even look at him. Helping him like you promised your parents and then leaving, no words exchanged.

"I don't want to be a bother." You say, honestly.

"You won't, look, my cousin Adrian, he was the first one to ask me to introduce him to Messi." He laughs remembering. "Not even my brother."

You look down at your hands. For him, it was easy. His family and him were so close, for you, it was hard, Pablo never liked you.

"I'll think about it." You say, "Pablo is upstairs by the way."

"Joder, si no me quieres cerca dímelo." He jokes, laughing at your words. "But thank you. I'll go see him." (Fuck, if you don't want me close you can say that)

"That's not what I meant." You laugh. "But I know you're here for him."

"And what if I'm not here only for him?" He asks looking at you, smiling sweetly.

The heat creeps to your cheeks, you turn your face back to the game, not wanting him to see your red face.

He laughs at your actions, standing up from the couch. "I'll go upstairs. Hope Alexia scores." He says before walking upstairs.

"Let me get you another drink." Your friend says, taking your cup, you're at a party that she got you in, you don't even know who's hosting or anything, but you were enjoying and drinking.

"Okay, I'm going to the bathroom." You shout, walking inside, you ask a few people for the bathroom. All of them point at a door at the end of the corridor.

After using the bathroom and washing your hands, you exit ready for more drinks. Your body hit someone on the way out of the house, and the drink of this person has spilled all over you.

"Joder, lo siento mucho." The voice says, worried. "Y/n?" Pedro asks, eyes focusing on your face.

Your eyes found his. "Pedri." You smile.

"Sorry, nena. I spill this shit all over you. Come here." He grabs your hand and walks with you back into the bathroom. "Let me help you." He grabs the towel that's there. "Can I?"

You can't even control your actions. Your arms are now behind your back, giving him access to your chest area, where most of the drink spilled.

He carefully patted the towel to dry you. "Te puedo reponer el vestido, lo siento tanto" (I can pay for your dress, I'm really sorry).

"Don't worry, it was an accident."

"No, seriously. I can take you to get a new dress."

You nod smiling. Eyes fixed on his. On the way his focus expression makes him look so handsome, the way the yellow light in the bathroom hit his skin and made it shine almost perfectly.

"Wanna dance?" You ask out of nowhere, grabbing his wrist, making him stop. Fingers tapping on his skin.

"You want to dance?" He's focused on the way you look, how good you look on that dress. "With me?" He asks, scuffing.

"Is that a yes or a no?" You laugh. Your fingers grab the towel, throwing it somewhere on the floor.

He nodded quickly. You take his hand, intertwine it with yours, and walk outside to the dance floor, there's a lot of people, but you're only focusing on the guy in front of you.

Pedro is doing the same, the way you're dancing, the way you're smiling and making him dance when he doesn't know what to do.

"Pedri." You grab his arms and pull him closer to you. "You look so good tonight." Your hands caress his arms up and down, making him shiver.

"I think you're kind of drunk, bonita." He's trying to stop the thought of kissing you.

"Yet you're the one that spilled your drink on me." You laugh. He swears your laugh is adorable.

"And I'm sorry about it." He honestly says, "I'll make it up for you."

"And how are you going to do it?" You got closer to him. "Tell me." Maybe it is the alcohol in your system. Maybe it's just him.

"I have an idea." His hands are on each side of your face, fingers caressing your cheeks. "But I'm not sure if doing this while you're drunk is the right thing to do."

"Well I do think it is." You close the distance between you two, enjoying the feeling of his lips on yours.

One hand on the back of his neck pulling him closer, if that's possible, and the other playing with his hair.

His hands go down from your face to your waist, his fingers digging lightly onto your flesh. Making you moan a little at the feeling of his fingers.

Once the air run down you both separate, lips swollen from the kiss. "Any thoughts on the idea?" You joke. Pecking his lips. Action he repeats.

"I think I can help you out of the wet dress." He grabs your chin, giving you another peck. "Only if you let me." He says kissing your cheek, making you laugh.

"Aurora!" you run to her. Jumping on her arms. "I missed you so much, hermanita." You grab her face, kissing her cheek repeatedly.

"Okay, I think that's enough." She laughed putting you down. "I missed you so much, life without is so boring." She hugs you tight.

"Let's go, I got Pablo's car so we can go anywhere we want." You show her the keys, making them jiggle in your hand.

"Got it like stealing it?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

"He was sleeping, plus he's not using it."

She laughed, giving you another hug, you walk with her to where you parked.

"So, have you guys worked on your relationship?" She asks curious. You know her question is genuine curiosity, not anything bad intended.

You're not sure if you should tell her about the whole ~she's my cousin~ situation. "I mean we haven't kill each other." You half smile.

"Okay." She narrow her eyes. "Let's try again. But this time be honest."

"It's been weird, Pablo and I barely even talk, and when we do is more a single answers" you honestly answer, "I just wish we could be like the two of you."

"Don't worry, he's just weird in general, he'll open to you." She pat your shoulder.

"When? Rora, I don't know if you notice but he's about to turn nineteen and he can't even remember when my birthday is." You say exasperated. "Pablo doesn't like me, not matter if I'm his sister, he just doesn't."

Aurora doesn't answer, mostly because she doesn't know what to say to you. She's been the one who had to witness all the dumb fights, all the times he hurted you just because.

"I know he loves you." She says, body turning to yours. "Pablo might act weird but he loves you, he told me that."

"He did?"

"Yes, he's just a stupid teenager, so don't worry about him and his weird actions. You're his sister and he loves you." She hugs your arm. "Now let's go, he might wake up soon." She laughed.

Aurora notice the change in your face. She knows that she shouldn't lie to you. But she can't stand your sad eyes when you talk about Pablo.

And even when she tried to help the situation, she haven't archived nothing more than fighting between you two.

"I made you your favorite cake." You say as you enter the house. "And I'll prepare your favorite food for dinner."

"Oh I've missed you." She kiss your cheek. "Pablo!" She yells.

"I'll get your bags." You say going back to the garage.

Grabbing the bag and going back in, when you walk into the living room you saw Pablo hugging Aurora and kissing her cheek. Telling her how much he missed her.

"Y/n will make us some yummy food." She says, hugging him by the waist. "While we wait, let's have some cake."

"I thought the smell was coming from the neighbor house." He jokes, making you two laugh. "Let me help you unpack." He takes the bag from your hands, taking Aurora upstairs.

You turn to the kitchen, getting all the ingredients put to start with the food. Interrupted by the doorbell, you yell that you'll get it.

"Hola guapa." Pedri says as you open the door. "It's Pablo here? He left this at my house and asked me to drop it."

"Hola." You sat the greeting back. "He is, get in."

After the party Pedri and you have been seeing each other here and there. Both agreeing on not telling anyone, specially not Pablo.

"They're upstairs." You walk back inside and into the kitchen.

After a few minutes, Aurora walked singing something, "Need some help?" She asks, washing her hands.

"Can you peel the potatoes? Please."

You both chat a little, catching up on some things that you have pending. She told you about her and Javi.

"So, any boys in sight?" She asks, pinching your arm. "I need to know everything."

"What everything? I'm not seeing anyone." You laugh "The only man I'm seeing is my professor. And he's very annoying."

"Oh don't tell me that, you must be seeing someone. Tell me." She pout.

"I might be seeing someone, but it's something casual." You confess.

"Are you sleeping with him?" She whispers, leaving what she's doing, interested in the conversation.

"Aurora, you don't ask people that." You joke, turning to the sink, washing your hands. "But yes, I am."

"You whore." She laugh. "I can't believe it, you and I were playing with dolls only a few years ago."

"Ay por favor." You splash her with the remaining water in your hands. "As if you don't sleep with your boyfriend."

"I am but you're my baby. I can feel this way." She fake dry a tear. "So, is he your classmate?"

"I told you it was something casual, I'm not giving you more details." You hurry with serving the plates.

While she helps with the table you finish washing some things. Focused on the job you're doing, when two cold hands grab you by the waist you jump a little at the sensation.

"Qué haces?" (What are you doing?) You ask, taking his hands away from you.

"Don't worry, they're upstairs. Aurora is getting Pablo." He says, getting closer so he can kiss you.

"Pedro, not here." You say, getting away from him.

"Let me take you home, I need you so bad." He says, trying to get closer again. "Por favor."

You hear the voices coming downstairs, "fine, but keep your hands to yourself " you quickly kiss him, pushing him outside.

"Let's eat." Aurora says, happily.

The dinner was fun, Pablo and Pedro talked about the next game. "You should come to the game. I heard that Alexia and Jana are coming." Pedro says, looking at you with picardy.

"Uhhh she loves Alexia." Aurora says. "Pablo, can you get us to take a picture with Alexia?"

"Since when do you like Alexia?" Pablo ask you, confused look on his face.

"I've always liked her. Rora and I used to watch the games all the time." You laugh, "remember when we broke that flowerpot? Celebrating when she scored."

"That poor flower." She laughs, "God, grandma hated us."

Pablo raise a brow, never paid attention to your liking for the football player, better say not knowing anything about you.

"I can get you to know her. I'll talk to Xavi tomorrow."

"Thank you." You smile at him. Eyes connecting with Pedro right after, sending him a wink.

After that moment you keep talking about random things. Pedro offers to help you with the dishes.

"Nos vamos?" (Ready to go?) He whispers, kissing your shoulder.

"Let me say goodbye to Aurora and I'll be back." You pinch his cheeks. "Say your goodbyes to Pablo."

You hurry upstairs, reaching to her room. "Hey rorita, Pedri offered me a ride home, so I'm leaving. I promise I'll be here early so I can spoil you with some breakfast."

"Don't go, we can ask Pablito to take us to your place so you get some clothes so you stay here." She pout, hugging your arm. "Stay."

"I promise I'll be here early, plus you have to rest Rorita." You kiss the top of her head. "We can get ready together."

You hug her, helping her with turning the lights off. When you were about to go downstairs you hear Pablo calling you name. "Si?"

"I texted Xavi, he told me that he can arrange a little meeting with Alexia backstage."

"Really?" You smile, exited about the news.

"Yes, I'll give Aurora the details." After saying that, he close his door.

You hurried downstairs. Opening the door, finding the canarian boy waiting for you leaning on his car.

"To your place or mine?" He asks, opening the door for you.

"Mine," you kiss him, hand on his neck. "So sad you can't stay, but you can make it up later." You joke with him. Making him laugh.

"Okay, smile." The photographer says, taking several pictures of the three of you. "Thank you. I'll send them to Gavi after the game."

"Thank you." You say. "Can we take a selfie? Please!" You take your phone out.

"All that you want" Alexia laughs, "well, not everything, I'm not up for a tik tok." She jokes.

"Oh God no, we won't ask you to do tik toks with us."

She place her hand to her heart, acting dramatic as a joke. "Thank you."

After the pictures and a little chat you both thank Alexia for her time. She says her goodbyes and left with the barca manager.

"I can't believe it." You say, jumping exited. Making Aurora jump with you too. "Omg I'm posting this on my story."

Pedro and Pablo were observing you from afar, "I think you just won the ~best cousin~ award." Pedro laughs, shaking his arm.

Pablo only nods, forgetting about him telling his friend about you being his cousin. Not wanting him to mention that in front of you or Aurora. Thinking you didn't know about it.

"Let's go back, Xavi's already mad."

"Go, I'll go to the bathroom real quick." Pedro says, turning to the other direction.

He takes his phone out. Texting you to meet him at the bathroom that's beside the changing room.

When you see it, you were about to leave to go back to your seats. "Hey, I'll go to the bathroom. I meet you on our seats." You say, walking back to the bathroom.

Not waiting for her answer you walk quickly to the end of the hall, entering the bathroom. "I think this is a women's bathroom, sir." You joke.

He won't miss time, pulling you from the waist. When his lips conect with yours, you place your arms on the back of his neck.

"So eager, was last night not enough?" You push him away to breathe. "So needy, González."

"For you?" He pecks you. "Always."

The makeout session begins again, his hands on your ass and yours on his hair.

You hear the bathroom door opening, pushing Pedro away was too late, Aurora alread saw you two. "Ay por Dios." (Oh my God) she gasp, leaving after that.

You don't even look at Pedro, quickly leaving him alone to go look for your sister. "Aurora." You yell, "please stop. I can explain." You run to her.

"Don't." She says when you grab her arm. "Let's go back to our seats."

She goes out back to the stadium seats. Leaving you there, you turn back and see Pedro getting out of the bathroom, eyes finding yours.

♡♡♡

🏷: @gaviandgrizisgirl 💛

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Those Summer Nights, When I Look in Your Eyes

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Commonwealth (No France) Warnings: Sexual Situations; Vague Smut

Summary: Daryl's childhood had lacked so much and at the beginning of the turn, he had never known love beyond Merle's version of it. Now, he had it all and he would never let them wonder how much he cherished them.

A/N: For @louifaith, I hope this is close to what you imagined for our archer. 🩵 - Also, I have Daryl calling reader "pip" because someone suggested him nicknaming her "pipsqueak" in another story and it has just stuck with me. I was as vague as possible about reader’s age but let me be clear - she is above 18. I don’t write for huge age gaps. I don’t judge those that do and I do read them. I just do not write them but I have no control over where your mind takes you. Anyway, the song he hums is attached. ;)

Life was good. 

For thirteen years, there had never been a point in time where Daryl had felt like he could say that and genuinely believe it. For an entire year, the Commonwealth had thrived. Not a single threat. The walls held. The governing unit was fair and compassionate. It really was like the old world. 

But not for Daryl. 

In the old world, he had been a drifter. A useless drifter walking in the shadow of his brother. No job, no friends, no purpose. And he had, at that time, liked it that way. 

Not anymore. 

Because now he had a job. He had friends. He had a family. He had a purpose. And he had everything he had lacked growing up. He had love, and not just Merle’s variation of it.

Carol had taken over Lance’s position when Ezekiel and Mercer had stepped up to govern. She had pulled Daryl aside and asked him if he wanted to stay in their reformed force, giving him the choice. His decision was to promptly decline. So they put their heads together to come up with something. 

Daryl possessed many skills, most of them learned by doing throughout the years. He had one condition that he would not negotiate on, however. 

Daryl’s time outside the walls was over. 

He agreed to train hunters to take his place and conceded to three weeks on the road with volunteers that he left up to Carol’s choosing. There was more than enough trust between them for him to be comfortable with who she would deem worthy to provide for the community. 

Then he was given the job of overseeing construction and structural upkeep, equipment maintenance, and of course, a seat in the governmental advisory council. He was nothing if not adaptable and took to his position quickly, finding that he liked it. He was respected and his suggestions for the good of the community were heard and considered. 

If he chose to hunt or ride, it would be for leisure but he’d hardly needed it in the past year. Domestic life had tamed the inner need to hide or escape that had been ingrained throughout the years even before the turn. 

Years ago, you had tumbled into his life. A hot mess that he had spent many a day battling the urge to absolutely throttle. You had a stubborn streak a mile wide that made his own nothing more than a small trail. He absolutely couldn’t stand you. 

Funny thing, time. 

Now you wore his ring and proudly carried his last name. You had wanted the ceremony, even if his proposal was lackluster. He had been seeking you out after the end of the Whisperers. 

“Where’s Y/N?” At first no one answered. He barely parted his lips, intent on asking again with a little more well placed ardor when a woman he recognized as a former Hilltop resident spoke up.  “I saw your wife! She’s over with the children!” He muttered his thanks and took a single step before you were finding him.  “Daryl!” Your body collided with his, knocking the air from his lungs. His heartbeat lowered regardless, feeling you there in his arms, alive and breathing and whole. “I couldn’t see you in the herd. I was about to come find you but Jude, she made me promise to stay.” “M’here. An’ they’re gone” He tightened his arms around you and rested his cheek on the crown of your head.  “So I’m your wife now, huh?” He felt the shift of your facial muscles against his chest, knew you were smiling.  “What of it?” He grunted. “Ya wanna be?” He felt his heart skip a few beats when you lifted your head to smile at him, beaming and beautiful.  “Of course, I do. Might as well be at this point. We sound like an old married couple.” Daryl snorted and then shrugged. “Then I guess we are.” “That simple?” “That simple.” When you grinned, he knew you would never let it be that simple. 

You got your wedding, simple and intimate, with only the few remaining people that were closest to the two of you. When Gabriel said the words, you got your ring, too. Oh, the hell and herds Daryl had gone through to get them. Matching bands, camelot black titanium. Crafted to withstand the way the world was. 

He was twisting the ring round and round as he walked home, tired from a full day’s work and more than ready for the weekend with his family: you, Jude, RJ, and his little River. His boy was nearly two years old, the spitting image of Daryl with a heaping dose of your attitude. 

You were younger than Daryl, still at an age where pregnancy and giving birth was not considered risky beyond the state the world was in and the lack of some resources. It was horrifying yet the best news he’d ever heard in his self-proclaimed useless life.

River Merle came along right in the midst of the unease in the Commonwealth. When they had taken you and River along with Jude and RJ, it had required all the power Carol possessed to stop Daryl from losing his goddamn mind. He was prepared to rip out entrails with his bare hands and use them to strangle each and every trooper that stood between him and his wife and kids. It was not a good time to support Pamela. 

It all worked out in the end when, bruised but alive, the people took back the Commonwealth.

And now, here he was. A husband. A father. A boss. A survivor. 

Life. Was. Good.

“Ya home, Pip?” The words habitually rolled off his tongue the moment he opened the door and stepped inside. Jude and RJ were watching a movie, the elder looking over with a hey, Uncle Daryl before turning right back to the television. It was the weekend. No reason to bug them about homework. 

“Where else would we be?” You called from the kitchen. Daryl unlaced his boots, was in the middle of pulling off the second one when you came out with River on your hip. “Someone’s cranky today.” 

“I ain’t cranky.”

“I’m not talking about you but assuming I was says a lot.” You smiled softly, passing off the baby while simultaneously stealing a kiss. “Hi.” 

“Hey.” He nearly melted, probably would have if you weren’t situating a small human right against his chest.

“Get a room.” Judith was rolling her eyes when Daryl shot her a harmless look. 

River’s little arms went straight around his father’s neck, his little hiccups and sniffles muffled against Dary’s shirt. “S’wrong, lil’ man. Mama houndin’ ya over veggies like she does me an’ RJ?” River pulled back, rubbing his left eye with a chubby fist, looking at Daryl with a scowl that he knew very well adorned his own face more often than not. Even being so content with his life, he couldn’t seem to rid himself of what you called his resting bitch face.

“Daddy.” Was all the boy said before burying his face back into Daryl’s shirt.

“He had a nap?” Daryl was jostling his son as little as possible while ridding himself of his precious vest, tossing it over the back of ‘his’ chair at the dining table. His large hand covered a wide expanse of the small boy’s back when he rubbed soothing little circles, following you into the kitchen. You shook your head and took the lid off the pot on the stove. The scent of meat and herbs wafted toward Daryl and his mouth watered, but first thing was first.

“He wouldn’t go down. I think it’s a daddy day.” You smiled at the sauce but it wasn’t meant for the pasta topping at all. Daddy days were Daryl’s favorite. River wanted absolutely no one but him. The baby would fuss during meals, refuse to nap, and absolutely forget about bath and bedtime unless Daryl was there.

“I got ‘im then. See if I can get ‘im down for a bit.” Daryl was ducking and angling his head to catch River’s attention, finally earning a shy smile when blue met blue and the archer scrunched his nose and stuck out his tongue. Pressing a kiss into the mess of wavy hair, he noticed you standing with your back against the countertop, a certain type of smile on your face.

“What?”

“Nothing. You’re just sexy.”

“Pfft, stop.”

“We are so playing chess tonight.”

Daryl arched a brow. “Yeah?” 

You nodded, your smile morphing into something else entirely; something sinful. “Oh, yeah.”

Dinner done, older kids in their rooms after teeth brushing and goodnight hugs, Daryl sat in the nursery with a sleepy River resting his head on his father’s shoulder while the chair gently rocked. The baby’s hair was only the least bit damp but he smelled of the lavender lotion that you always seemed to have near the changing table, instructing Daryl to use it after baths and before bed because it was calming.

Bathed and in a fresh diaper and pajamas, mini-Daryl was beginning to drift off while his father simply rubbed his back or kissed his cheek or even held a little hand just to count the fingers over and over. Soon enough there would be potty training and pre-school—Carol had said that was still a thing in the world now and yes, they had one in the Commonwealth—so for now, Daryl just wanted to soak it all up, take it all in.

River would likely be the only baby the two of you would have, so not a single second was being wasted or taken for granted. You kept a daily journal of simple things that some might find trivial but Daryl knew he’d be reading that journal often enough to wear the ink right off the pages. Sometimes, he missed things because of work, but in the end, that’s what happened when you were a parent, he supposed. His old man didn’t care about milestones or daddy days, and his mama wasn’t around for bath time or boo-boo kisses. River would have it all. And as long as they were his to care for, so would Judith and RJ. In fact, since the baby had Daryl, you were currently reading a story to Rick and Michonne’s son before bed.

Man, if Rick could see Daryl now. Would his brother even recognize him? God, would his brother even recognize him? He let his mind drift for a moment to Rick and Merle, just long enough to keep them close and then he was back to River, pressing a kiss to a chubby cheek. 

You would always rock and sing to the little one but he didn’t need that from Daryl. There was just something about their bond that didn’t require words and hardly even movement. It had been that way since the moment you had pushed him into the world. He had cried, red-faced and angry and cold while Tomi leaned to put him onto your chest. You had your time with him, cuddling and nursing, his little sounds still expressing his discontentment with the change from your warm womb to a loud, bright world.

They had Daryl take off his shirt, which he didn’t understand until you explained better than any doctor or nurse could. The moment River was pressed against his skin, the connection was apparent to anyone who saw. The baby went silent, wide eyes mirroring the ones Daryl himself had. He had felt guilty for the longest time that River wanted you to feed him and then he wanted his daddy back immediately. He still had his mommy days and you said that was enough.

You were always supportive, never angry or jealous. You’d share the moments with him while he enjoyed them with you. 

It was all what he’d never had, so he’d make sure River, Judith, and RJ never went without it.

His eyes were slow to open, squinting at the traitorous window that dared let the morning rays creep across the bed and to his pillow. It took a few sluggish blinks to remember what day it was and that he was free to go back to sleep until River required either you or him. With a deep breath, he stretched his arms above his head and looked at you, still wrapped around him with your head on his chest. Naked. Still so very, very naked.

He was barely in the bedroom door before you were pushing him against it, almost catching his fingers when he attempted to mute the sound of it closing at his back. You had his shirt unbuttoned and your mouth on his before he could even take a breath. “I told you,” you panted against his lips, “we’re playing chess tonight.” Daryl grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you easily, spinning you to press you against the door. “Goddamn right, we are.” The first round was a frenzied bout of moaning and skin slapping skin, hands covering mouths to keep the noise down. Your nails had left gouges on Daryl’s ass and back, clawing at him for more. You weren’t unscathed. A bruise was blooming on the curve of your right breast, a perfect black and purple bite he had inflicted at some point. It ended with you lying across Daryl’s torso while he was flat on his back with the pillow halfway over his face. Panting and sweating while the sheet covered neither of you where it mattered. Why it was anywhere near either of you was anyone’s guess. The second time was slower, every second savored. Your fingertips memorizing his face while his hips rolled into you, back arching to push himself deeper. His lips were on your forehead, your eyelids, your cheeks and mouth. His fingers danced down your ribcage and back up to your breasts, gentle caresses while he pressed his lips over the mark he’d left earlier. You didn’t have to try hard to roll him over. He went willingly, his hands going straight for your hips. You let your fingers roam his chest and stomach. His scars were yours to explore, he’d given that power over to you long ago. The marks no longer held him prisoner after you’d shown him how to be free. You were incredibly attracted to the way his body had softened with age and he worshiped each wrinkle and stretch mark that time and pregnancy had gifted you. You loved each other wholly, without condition. 

And you laid where you had collapsed, goosebumps on your skin from the cool morning air. Daryl didn’t want to go back to sleep, so he laid there, watching you and just enjoying the silence with the knowledge that his family was safe. That you had survived together and built something so precious.

When River began to fuss, it was Daryl that slipped out of bed and left you to rest a bit longer. He had no qualms with being the one to get up earlier to take care of the baby.

The weekend went by fast, as it often did. Sunday night, he found himself sitting on the couch after the kids were all asleep. He had helped clean up after dinner and was contently watching you pick up toys and fold laundry. He didn’t step in to help because he had no intention of allowing you to continue for long.

“What?” You finally inquired, obviously catching him staring.

“Nothin’.” He smirked, huffing a laugh that came out as an exhale through his nose. You were still regarding him when he stood and beckoned you with a finger. “C’mere.” Your pretty eyes narrowed but you placed the unfolded towel on the top of the pile in the basket and stepped into his space. Daryl wasn’t romantic, truly believed he didn’t have it in him to be anything near it. Still, when he guided your arms to his shoulders and lowered his hands to your hips, he watched you melt.

“There’s no music, Daryl.”

“Don’t need it.” He shrugged, just swaying back and forth with you, pulling you closer until you rested your head against his chest.

“The formidable Daryl Dixon is dancing with me when there’s no music playing. This’ll make the papers. It’ll be the headline.”

“Stop.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss into your hair. He was smiling when you sighed, somehow pressing yourself closer to him. You didn’t react at first when he started to hum, whether you were in shock or just relishing the moment. Maybe both. You let him continue.

It was an old tune, one from a favorite album released more than a decade before the first walker rose from the dead. The tune was slow and deep, his chest vibrating with every drone. Finally, you pulled back just enough to look up at him, the corners of your mouth perked.

“What is that?”

“How dare ya! S’Ozzy, woman.” He feigned offense but was tenderly tucking your hair behind your ears.

“I’ve never heard it.”

Daryl scowled playfully before scrunching his nose. “Remind me why I married ya?” You wrapped yourself around him and with the fondest smile he had ever let cross his face, he held you tighter.

“Because you love me.”

“Yeah.” He breathed. “Yeah, I do.”

[wangxianficfinder]

I'm in the mood for...

July 15th

~*~

1. For the next itmf I had 2 requests

A) Wei Wuxian not being okay after his 3 months in the burial mounds. Like, not just being mean, I want him to barely be holding to reality, maybe some amnesia, but for him to be bad to a concerning point

B) Wei Wuxian feeling isolated

Thank you! ♡

1A)

🔒 At heart by apathyinreverie (M, 36k, WangXian, WIP, Dark LWJ(Ish), Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Hurt WWX, Recovery, Caring, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, some definite manipulation, but not everything is as it seems, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, kind of, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, WWX Goes to Gusu, Possessive WWX, WWX happily atticwifing away, Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, ridiculously self-indulgent) LWJ finds WWX in the Burial mounds and he heals slowly. Has Amnesia, doubting the reality and malnutrition as focus points

they who refuse to be blessed by sysrae (E, 7k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Whump, Golden Core Reveal, Developing Relationship, wwx can have a little scurvy, as a treat, Bathing/Washing, Confessions, Sharing a Bed) things happen and lwj gets to take care of wwx immediately after finding him, noting all the damage his time in the mounds has done

🔒 between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating)

🔒He knows He knew Once by StarClearWaters (Readoutloud) (G, 6k, WangXian, Temporary Amnesia, Resentful Energy, Burial Mounds-Induced Amnesia, Blanket Permission, POV Multiple, Not as angsty as it sounds)

1B)

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, wangxian, canon divergence, necromancy, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, Fix-it of sorts, yilingwei sect au)

Having Enough (of your foolishness) by makexianxianhappytoday (T, 18k, WangXian, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiang Family Bashing, Canon Divergence, CSSR and WCZ Live, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, JYL Lives, JZX Lives, (but what are the consequences), JC Bashing)

~*~

2. [ITMF ask] Are there any fics where the resentful energy from the Burial Mounds (physically? Mentally? Metaphorically??) love wwx and try their best to help him survive? Especially when they still recognize wwx in mxy's body after the whole 13 years thing

Mud on Your Feet by AvoOwO (Not Rated, 59k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Nightmares, Sentient Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds, Possession, Panic Attacks, Night Terrors, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Sibling JC, Hurt WWX, Soft WangXian, Feels, Blood and Injury, Hallucinations, Delusions, JC Loves WWX, Insomnia, Good Sibling WWX, Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking, LWJ just wants to sleep with his husband, Protective JC, WWX Sees Dead People, LJY pulls through, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses, PTSD, Post-Canon, YLLZ WWX, resentful energy, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Thirteen Years of WWX’s Death, WWX’s Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, WWX is tired, LWJ literally just wants to sleep with WWX again is that too much to ask for??, Soft JC, Yunmeng Siblings Feels)

Devil Flute Upon Graves, Wei Ying by cloudyrobinwrites (jwyoomi) (M, 18k, WangXian, HuaLian, JYL/JZX, MXY & WWX, Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hints of Fluff, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Sentient Burial Mound, Ghost WWX, Future Calamity WWX, Pre-WangXian, what if wwx actually died when he first fell into the burial mounds and came out as a wrath level ghost, he has a murder of crows like HC's silver butterflies, grab some popcorn watch him spiral, WWX is Not Okay, He'll get better I promise, Canon Divergence, WWX is a Calamity, WWX is not having a fun time, the burial mounds is a tiger mom, how to motivate yourself to finish mount tonglu: think of LWJ, hualian are WWX's emotional support parents, deity JYL, Deity JZX, Good Sibling JYL, JZX is So Whipped, Heavenly Emperor XL, but like forced he doesnt want to be on the throne but fate is like lol nope, Xuanli Raise Jin Ling as They Should, dont worry the MCD refers to the canonical character deaths theyre fine, The Burial Mounds Wants More Kids, what happens when a ghost king gets thrown into a murder mystery, WWX picked up MXY and decided he'll be his student now, MXY managed to summon a calamity level ghost what a guy, WWX disguises himself as a rogue cultivator) It's a MDZS/TGCF crossover in which the Burial mounds is an actual character

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3. itmf fics with the wei family. any where cssr and/or wcz are alive and taking care of their baby, or ones where wwx has a sibling! ty!

Building a home by R95irth (T, 586k, WCZ/CS, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-it, Angst with a happy ending, Family fluff)

Cartwheels In Cloud Recesses Series by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 23k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR and WCZ Live, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans)

The Different Paths We Tread Series by Admiranda, Rynne (T/G/E, 345k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR and WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Minor Violence, Case Fic, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Wangxian's Baby Fever, POV Outsider, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, PWP, Desk Sex, Inappropriate Use of Gusu Lan Forehead Ribbon, Light Bondage, Dirty Talk, Teasing, Anal Sex, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, LWJ Has a Biting Kink, Anal Fingering, wwx's debatably self-lubing asshole, xxc and cssr meet, WWX is a Lan, WWX is Xiao Xingchen's Shizhi, Non-Graphic Depictions of Donkey Childbirth)

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4. Back again with a hand out, begging! Love you all so much! This is an ITMF request: Jiang Cheng-centric groundhog-day AU? I've seen a few with WWX but I'd love one with Jiang Cheng being put through it! (no JC bashing, prefer canon era) @kimboo-york

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5. Is there a Cloud Recesses Study Arc fanfics where they see the future in the classroom? @tjrc18

Wei Wuxian’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good First Meeting With His Future by Enigmatree (T, 3k, wangxian, Time Travel, Cloud Recesses, YLLZ WWX, POV Outsider)

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6. Hello! I'm making an 'im in the mood for' fic request! I'd really like to read a fic where Wangxian adopt Xue Yang and give him a good childhood :D

Also if there are any ships with xy, i have a STRONG preference for songxuexiao

🔒 if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect) He gets taken in as a son/disciple together with MXY into the sect WWX is totally not creating on accident

Unstoppbble by Immortal WangXian (Mr_Pervert) (M, 85k, WIP, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, NingSang, QingJue, Immortal LWJ, Immortal WWX, Good Parent YZY, Good Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Good Person XY, Evil JGY, Travel Fix-It, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Bottom JC/Top LXC, Bottom NHS/Top WN, Supportive NMJ, YLLZ WWX, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff and Crack, Shameless Smut, Action/Adventure, Mpreg) Time travel fix it where Wangxian pick up XY when he's 6

Alternate by Hanashi_o_suru (M, 60k, WIP, WangXian, Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Established WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Third Person Limited, WWX is a Tease, mentions of rape/non-con, Sporadic and Random Updates) Also a time travel fix it fic where they pick up XY while he's a child. Another plus: he started ironically calling WWX A-Niang and now it's stopped being ironical. It happens

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7. Hello everyone! This time I will use the "I feel like..." section because I would really like fics where only Wei Wuxian is a time traveler and helps everyone live while she wins back her husband! I really just imagine hijinks and fluff. Thank you very much for your effort @makolashida

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) may have more angst then they are seeking but it fits the other requirements.

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8. Hi! This is for ITMF

A) WWX has a chronic illness but not a sickness like cancer. What i want is he was sick in the past and recovered but if he does something his past illness will come again or something like The Porcelain Lotus of Yungmeng by The Feels Whale (miscellea) or 🔒A Burning Cold by MountainRose

B) WWX wants to fix JFM and YZY marriage (because he thinks that it was his fault they always fighting) and JYL or JWY says "you cant fix something that never been whole before" Or something like that or saying that its not WWX responsibility to fix that @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

8A)

misunderstood 'verse by sysrae (M, 7k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, getting hit by cars, Past Child Abuse, Friends to Lovers, Abusive YZY, Caring LWJ, Injured WWX, partial hearing loss, the real OTP is everyone x therapy) modern au wwx is deaf on one eat because of a past experience

A Bad of Nibs (Nibs are Bad) by Enk (M, 17k, WangXian, Quarantine, Slice of Life, Friends to Lovers, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Fluff and Angst, Mild Sexual Content, Found Family, Vague Canadian Location, JYL Lives)

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9. hi! for the itmf, idk if this is specific but any modern au fics where wwx is estranged from the jiangs for some reason either during or before the fic, a-yuan is his kid (adopted or biological) and the jiangs don’t know about him, and they reconnect? thank you for the work!

🔒moonlight falls Series by RoseThorne (T, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Corporate Espionage, Family Fluff, Adoption, Bad parent LQR, Pre-JC & WWX Reconciliation, Dissociation, Mental Health Issues, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Found Family, Emotional Constipation, Communication Failure, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC is Trying, WWX Needs a Hug, POV WWX, POV Third Person, Implied/Referenced Sex, Food Sex, Reconciliation, Psychological Trauma)

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10. itmf fics where wwx discovers evidence that lwj is in love with him. like maybe wwx discovering his floorboard stash and finding his painting of lwj, or alternatively, smth like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, lwj’s own art for wwx, or self-insert fanfic. things like that! @nalalie

Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours. by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 3k, WangXian, Immortal LWJ and WWX, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Well it could be a Bittersweet Ending, Love Confessions) Immortal WWX finds a poem immortal LWJ wrote in the 13 years he was dead. It's a love poem

rather cruelly used and rather reserved by x_los (M, 13k, wangxian, sugar daddy (slightly), case fic, domestic horror, architectural horror, gift giving, happy ending, getting together, confessions) is perfect for it

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11. I’m in the mood for no-war AUs about wangxian getting together post CR study arc. Just want to read about how these two might have figured it out without the stress of war and growing up too fast! Thanks in advance!

Dazzle Like a Diamond by Tsukimiko_san (T, 4k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Crow WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, No Angst, ok maybe a tiny sprinkle of angst but like, usual LWJ thinking WWX is just teasing him, it doesn’t last long, Getting Together, they are both so whipped, Boys Kissing, Courting Rituals) iirc there's not even a mention of war on this one, but I do have to warn that it's crowxian and dragonji

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) Fits both 11 & 12. It's a no war AU (mostly - there is some conflict between the Wen & Nie, but WX's role is solely helping refugees) set shortly after CRSA where WX get together. There's also a subplot about WWX setting up a charitable venture to help Yiling's street kids

💙 Holding shreds by barisan (T, 5k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, No Sunshot Campaign, Body Swap, Not for sexy shenanigans, Chronic Pain, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together, Smart WWX)

Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (G, 21k, wangxian, canon divergence, romantic comedy, pining, protective JC, friends to lovers, misunderstandings)

For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 16k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft WangXian, Teenage LWJ/Teenage WWX, No Sunshot Campaign)

Straight at the Sun by diamondbruise (E, 33k, WangXian, Canon Universe, no war though, Mutual Pining, Pining while fucking, Misunderstandings, First Time, Anal Sex, wwx desperately wants lwj's attention, lwj desperately wants to marry wwx, Miscommunication, Jealousy, in abundance, Happy Ending, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX)

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12. Itmf fics that deal with wwx caring about kids (esp canon era), adopting fostering having an official or unofficial ward, looking out for street children in any way he can even in little ways as a kid etc

🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff) wwx teaches Lan kids stuff

the low sky, raining over by chibilwj (thelogicoftaste) (M, 37k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Kid Fic)

❤️ Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste for williedustice (T, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Adoption, Family Fluff, Kid fic, Family drama, Fluff, 🔒[PODFIC] Attempting the Impossible by Ariaste by lunatique)

He never had a plan, he just went with the flow by CrazyGeek_TheGachatuber15 (Not Rated, 65k, WIP, XiYao, WangXian, Gusu Lan Elders Bashing, LXC Bashing, LXC gets his shit together, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Dynamics, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Are Bad at Communicating, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, WWX is Good With Children, Water Spirit WWX, Deity WWX, Good Sibling JYL, Protective NHS, Scheming NHS, BAMF LSZ, Angry LSZ, Good Friend LSZ, Demonic Cultivator LSZ, but not really?, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei Sect, accidentally, MXY Lives, JRS Lives, OP WWX, Deity LSZ, Inventor WWX, slight OOC behavior, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Future Character Death, Canon Divergence) In it WWX founded an orphanage before the war and is now, after his death, gathering homeless children to bring there and visits them when he's not traveling. The last few chapters were about it, kind of (currently has 9 chapters)

🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence)

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13. Hi! I love this blog. I was looking for fics where LWJ considers his love wholeheartedly rejected and/or unrequited and as the reader, you feel his pain viscerally. I’ve found some fics like this which I adore like - “it’s always open” by Scarlettstorm, “heart at ease” by Diamondbruise and “A little late (but can I come home anyway?)” by Anobtra (animeobsessedtrash) - but am always interested in more!

Thank you!

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14. helloooo! could i have time travel fanfics where they DON'T end up in their younger bodies? that's it. they teleport as they are, in their future selves. the future can be from whichever arc and teleported to any arc in the past. whichever canon is fine, angst is fine. i'd prefer it completed and somewhat humor but i'll take whatever i can get. i trust this blog's fine tastes. c:

i just really want fics where they co-exist with their younger selves because i don't know how to tag it separately from the "wake up in their younger self" fanfics. thank you very much! @lovewly

💖 From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, First Love, Love Confessions, Fluff and Humor, accidental time travel due to one husband malfunctioning array, teen wangxian meet adult wangxian, Happy Ending, adding extra chapter, in this household we hate JGS, in which WWX love library pavilion, (in a way) Yiling Laozu x Hanguang Jun, Denial, Mutual Pining) Adult LWJ finds himself in the CRSA era due to a mishap with an array

River Stones by littlesystems (M, 18k, WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study arc, Junior Quartet, Oblivious WWX, Suffering LWJ, Voyeurism) Both CRSA-era WWX & LWJ go forward in time & meet post-canon WX

there's a story on Tumblr with JC who time travels. I don't know how to link it, but you can find it on this blog under fic compilation -> non AO3 (the second one is Tumblr) and then by scrolling all the way down to the master post from Shana storyteller. The fic is just titled "Time travel Jiang Cheng" (link is to the latest part - mod c)

Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, wangxian, hualian, WIP, TGCF, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, characters watching their series, Time Travel Fix-it)

Key Differences by pupeez4eva (T, 5k, WangXian, Humor, Dimension Travel, Crossover, Drama!WWX meets Novel!WWX, Public Confessions, Post-Canon) sort of fits in that it's Novel Wei Wuxian meeting Drama Wei Wuxian, resulting in hilarity.

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15. Hi Mods! Can I get SongXIao Fic recs please? Like main pairing SongXiao fic recs?

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16. Itmf a fic where wei wuxian adopts a 2nd child (or more). So it's not just a-yuan. Esp if it's a developed oc. Ex: twelve moons and a fortnight (oc a-shui), please take this radish (xue yang), mxy, others, etc

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17. hiii!! itmf!! is there any modern au fics where wei ying makes lan zhan jealous on purpose?? @yesibest

Wei Ying's Favourite Customer by QueenofThyme (T, 3k, WangXian, Modern, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista WWX, Jealous LWJ, Texting, Fluff, Flirting, Mutual Pining, Multi POV)

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[persevereforahappyending]

This isn't Your Fault (Sam POV)

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: “Let’s go,” Sam said, somehow sounding calmer than she felt, Tara needed her to be her rock at the moment though and that’s the one thing she knew she could do right for her sister.

Warnings: Violence

Word Count: 6.9k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Sam was slumped in the chair in the family room, her head hanging low as she had it buried in her hands. They had just gotten back to the apartment a few minutes ago after Sam had dragged Tara out of a frat party. Sam had just gotten off her second job at a crappy diner, she had come home hoping to just order a pizza and have a nice night in with her sister, but Tara had different plans and now Sam had tased a creepy guy in the balls, had a drink thrown on her, and Tara was mad at her, the exact opposite of a nice night in.

Sam knew Tara wanted to have a normal life, Sam knew she was probably hanging on a little too tight, but how could she not? She didn’t get how Tara could completely ignore what happened to her, it happened a year ago and she hadn’t talked about it with anyone. Sam was actively trying to find a therapist to talk to and was still struggling, she didn’t get how Tara could just ignore it all.

Richie and Amber attacked Tara because she was related to Sam, because Sam was the secret daughter of Billy Loomis. Everything that happened last year was all Sam’s fault. Then all these reddit users started saying Sam lied and she was actually the killer, setting up Richie. Tara being related to her automatically put her in danger. Sam couldn’t just back off and let Tara do whatever she wanted because if something happened, then once again it would be her fault.

She didn’t know what, but she knew Tara was keeping something from her. Tara still acted normal, arguing with her, and fighting her on every little thing but there was some nights Sam would come home after therapy and Tara would be placed on the couch, happily watching a random show. She also had her phone gripped tightly in her hand, always keeping it just out of sight of Sam so she couldn’t see who she was texting. Anytime Sam found the courage to ask, Tara would brush her off saying it was just Mindy or Chad, occasionally it would be some person from class she had to work with.

She just wished Tara would talk to her. Tara never talked to her anymore, she didn’t even share how her classes were going. Sam didn’t get the whole movie thing, especially after what happened but she tried to show interest because Tara still loved horror movies. Tara would always just brush her off saying class was fine or saying she had homework, going to her room and kicking the door closed. Sam knew it was her fault, she left for five years and then came back trying to parent Tara, telling her what to do.

Sam had to admit the truth to herself, Tara didn’t need her. Sam left when Tara was thirteen, not coming back for five years. By that point Tara was eighteen, she was still young and despite what she might believe she had a lot to learn but she was an adult. By the time she came back Tara didn’t need her anymore. Sam knew exactly who their mom was when she left and yet she still did it. She left Tara alone with their mom who was an alcoholic and an absentee mother at best. Sam was all Tara had and Sam just left her to basically deal with their mom and raise herself. Sam couldn’t blame Tara for hating her.

“You good T?” Mindy asked.

Mindy’s voice broke Sam out of the downward spiral she seemed to be in. Sam looked up at Mindy, noticing her looking behind her. Sam turned her head to see Tara standing in the doorway, phone up to her ear, tears in her eyes, not looking at any of them.

Sam shot to her feet, her mind instantly going to the worst-case scenario. “Tara?” Sam asked slowly, trying to get her sister to meet her eyes. “Who’s on the phone?” Sam held her breath, hoping Tara would snap out of it and just say it was some jerk making a prank call.

Tara’s eyes slowly moved from whatever spot she had been staring at finally to Sam’s eyes. Sam wished she could let out a sigh of relief, but it just made everything worse. Tara met her gaze and her tears finally started to fall. Tara’s lips quivered, her mouth moving as if she wanted to say something but was too afraid to speak. Sam looked back at the others, going on high alert, whoever Tara was on the phone with wasn’t a prank caller.

“Y/N?” Tara asked, finally speaking for the first time since she entered the room. “Y/N?” she said again, more concerned.

Sam scrunched her eyebrows at the name, she didn’t recognize it. She had never heard Tara so much as mention anyone by the name Y/N but clearly Tara knew whoever was on the phone. Sam turned, silently trying to ask the others who the hell this person was, she knew Tara didn’t tell her everything, but she figured at least Mindy or Chad would know.

Chad had no idea who Y/N was based on the way he just shrugged. He did turn off the TV, setting the remote down and turning to Tara, just as concerned as Sam. Mindy furrowed her brow at the name, so she recognized the name. It was Anika who had the real reaction though. The second the name left Tara’s mouth, Anika was on her feet, concern filling her eyes. Anika knew who Y/N was, well enough to be worried about them.

“Baby, are you there?” came Tara’s concerned voice again, the tears freely falling from her eyes now.

Sam’s head snapped back to her sister so quick she might have gotten whiplash. Baby? Tara had called this person on the phone baby. Tara knew Y/N a lot better than Sam thought. Sam knew Tara was keeping things from her but now it seemed as if she truly didn’t know her sister at all. She couldn’t help the way her mouth hung open, shocked that Tara had someone who was clearly important to her in her life. She looked back to the others seeing everyone just as surprised, even Anika. It made Sam feel slightly better that no one seemed to know who Tara was seeing, even though that meant Tara had been lying not just to her but all their friends.

Tara jumped, then jumped again, and again, and again. Tears quickly filled her eyes again as she slowly began to hyperventilate. Sam moved forward instantly, gripping Tara by her shoulders. She tried to get Tara to look her in the eye, to focus on her but Tara just looked through her. Sam searched Tara frantically, she needed her to get control of her breathing before she had an asthma attack.

Sam watched as her little sister stopped jumping, she held her breath as she slowly started to cry. It was clear Tara wanted to sob, her body shaking, but she wasn’t making a sound. She stood there frozen, focused on whatever was going on, on the other end of the phone. Sam looked back to the others, hoping one of them might have a plan, they also just stood there confused and concerned like her.

“Don’t hurt them, please,” Tara begged, her voice cracking.

Sam’s heart broke at her sisters’ words. That’s when she knew for sure, he was back, Ghostface was back, and he was attacking whoever Tara had been sneaking around with. Sam turned to the others, a newly determined look on her face, she saw all three of them on their feet, looking to her for leadership.

“We need to move,” she said. The others nodded, quickly shuffling around the room, tripping over themselves as they tried to move so quickly. “Call 911,” she ordered one of them.

“An address would be helpful,” Chad commented.

“On it,” Anika said, her voice wavering, tears had slowly started to fall down her cheeks as she fumbled with her phone.

“Please! She has nothing to do with this!” Tara sobbed, making Sam turn back to her. She saw the way Tara gripped her phone, clenching her hair in her other hand, the pain of not being able to help you.

Seeing her sister that desperate, begging for Ghostface to not hurt you in the moment made everything clear to Sam. You weren’t just some random hookup Tara had been hiding and doing just to defy Sam, another act of rebellion. Tara actually cared about you, maybe even loved you. In that moment Sam realized she knew exactly what her sister was going through, her heart broke all over again. Tara looked exactly how she felt a year ago when Ghostface had called her, toying with her while they were in the hospital asking Sam to choose between Tara and Richie. At the time Sam didn’t know Richie was behind everything, so Ghostface trying to make her choose between her sister and the guy she loved was the worst feeling in the world. Being on the phone as Ghostface taunted her, knowing Ghostface was right there, attacking someone she loved. Sam was losing her mind, desperate to help her sister, but literally not able to do anything but beg to a killer, beg for her sister not to be hurt, even though she knew Ghostface would do it anyway.

“Please,” Tara said in another desperate act to try and get Ghostface to listen. Sam knew he wouldn’t, he never did. He played a game, pretending he’d let someone live but then kill them anyway. Sam refused to let Tara listen to someone she cared about die.

Tara was sobbing, her breathing completely erratic. Sam looked at her sister, descending further and further into panic. She ran to Tara’s room, grabbing the inhaler that had been tossed on the bed. Sam frowned at seeing Tara had been using her inhaler before she came into the living room. Sam clenched her jaw; she didn’t know how long Tara had been listening to someone she cared about being attacked before she came out to where they all were. Her sister was in her room, panicking over someone she cared for being attacked, while Sam sat in the living room feeling sorry for herself. Sam shook her head, gripping the inhaler tighter as she ran back out to Tara.

“No!” she heard Tara scream when she got back into the room. She stood before her sister again, seeing her frantically look around the room, desperate to help you even though she was miles from wherever you were.

Sam had had enough, she tried reaching for the phone. She didn’t want Tara listening to this anymore, if Ghostface wanted to taunt and torture someone then she wanted it to be her. Tara didn’t deserve this and even though Sam had no idea who you were she knew you were innocent; you didn’t deserve whatever Ghostface was doing to you. When Sam reached for the phone though, Tara slapped her hand away. Tara turned, finally seeming to see Sam again because when Sam moved to grab at the phone again, Tara stepped out of her reach. Sam gritted her teeth at her sister’s stubbornness.

Sam gripped Tara tightly by the shoulder, forcing Tara to face her again. Sam saw Tara clench her fist, ready to spin around and deck her, just like she had been ready to jump at that girl who threw her drink at Sam earlier that night. Sam stilled herself, waiting to feel the impact of a fist on her face. Getting punched by her sister was hardly the least of her worries at the moment. The hit never came though, when Tara’s eyes met hers again, she slowly unclenched her fist.

“We have to go,” Sam said, she loosened her grip on Tara slightly.

Tara quickly shook her head. “I can’t,” she sobbed. “I-I-I-can’t. I-” Tara was stuttering, unable to get her words out. Sam looked at her sister, her eyes wide with worry. She gently opened Tara’s hand, placing the inhaler in her palm. Tara looked at her hand and Sam guided it up towards her face, hoping Tara would take over the movement. Thankfully she did, taking a huff of her inhaler, then another one. Sam let out a sigh as Tara’s breathing slowly started to even out.

“Let’s go,” Sam said, somehow sounding calmer than she felt, Tara needed her to be her rock at the moment though and that’s the one thing she knew she could do right for her sister. “We can’t help here,” she looked at Tara softly, needing her to understand. “Let’s go.” When Tara finally nodded, Sam grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the front door. “Chad!” she called out, she needed to know he was on the phone with help.

“Already calling 911,” he said quickly, phone to his ear as he started talking to the dispatcher.

“Anika-”

“Already texted you her address,” Anika said softly, her eyes red from the tears that had started to fall. Sam pulled out her phone, seeing the text, she mouthed a thank you to the girl then gently pulled Tara out the door.

Sam rushed down the steps, jumping down half of them. She knew exactly how little time they had to get to someone during a Ghostface attack, she was going to do everything in her power to make sure Tara didn’t have to go through losing someone she cared about again. Once on the street, Sam flagged down a cab, practically running into the middle of the street to make sure one stopped. She flung open the door, giving the cabbie her phone before she was even seated.

Sam watched Tara carefully as she took the phone away from her ear, tears streaming down her face. She was starting to struggle with her breathing again. Tara’s knuckles were white with how tightly she was gripping the phone, she was staring off into space. She was gasping for breath as she tried to slow down her breathing, but the more she tried to slow her breathing down, the more worked up she got.

“No!” cut through the phone. Sam’s head snapped to the phone, gripped in her sister’s hand. She hadn’t heard your voice yet, but you just screamed loud enough for her to hear from a phone that wasn’t even near her ear.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sam said, gently grabbing Tara by the face to turn her towards her. “Breath,” she said softly. Sam took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. She did it a few times, hoping Tara would match her breathing and calm down.

She saw Tara trying to match her breathing, but it wasn’t working. Tara had to bring her inhaler back to her mouth. After another huff and taking a few small breaths, her breathing started to even out. Sam let out a small sigh of relief, but she knew it wasn’t over yet. She knew Tara was going to be struggling until she was by your side, and you were safe.

She furrowed her brows as she watched Tara take the phone away from her ear again, holding it loosely as she held it in her lap. She stared down at the phone, tears streaming down her face. She had never seen her sister look so broken before.

“I can’t lose her,” Tara whispered. She started sobbing, violently shaking her head. “I can’t. I can’t,” she kept repeating.

Sam quickly wrapped Tara in her arms. Tara gripped her shirt tight, pulling at the fabric to hold onto Sam as tight as possible. Tara buried her face in Sam’s shoulder and just sobbed. Sam tried to comfort her sister as best as she could, holding her tight and running her hand through Tara’s hair for some comfort. She didn’t care that Tara’s tears had already completely soaked her shirt, she just wanted to sister to not be in pain anymore.

Sam jolted forward a little, her hand going out to brace herself against the front seat as the cab came to a screeching halt. She was fishing out her wallet when Tara let go of her and was already throwing open the cab door. The cabbie started to yell since he hadn’t fully come to a stop, but Sam just tossed him the money and rushed out after her sister. She knew Tara was worried, but they didn’t know if Ghostface was still there, he could have called knowing Tara would come running, and then he would be able to kill her as well.

By the time Sam was out of the cab Tara had the front door flung open and was already inside. Sam held back a sigh, it wasn’t the time to berate Tara over her disregard for her own safety, but that didn’t mean Sam wouldn’t bring it up later. Tara didn’t need to be as paranoid as Sam, but Sam would appreciate it if her sister had just an ounce of self-preservation instead of just blindly going with whatever she wanted.

Sam rushed into the house, her eyes darting all around. The first thing she saw was the giant knife mark in the front door. She reached up, her hand running down the side of the cracked wood. She turned, seeing Tara kneeled down and sobbing over your body. Sam couldn’t help let out a small sigh of relief, you were obviously struggling to breath based on the ragged breaths coming from you but as long as she could see your chest moving, she was happy, it meant you were alive, it meant Tara wouldn’t lose someone else she loved.

Sam did a quick once over of the place, making sure Ghostface wouldn’t come out and try surprise attacking them. She glanced up the stairs but didn’t move to go up, she wouldn’t go that far from Tara. She did a quick check of the rooms, finding nothing. She noticed the back door in the kitchen was left wide open. She assumed Ghostface took off right as they got there, knowing he most likely couldn’t take both Tara and Sam. She was still cautious, her head on the swivel as she moved to be by Tara’s side.

She stood over you and Tara, slowly kneeling down to be by her sister’s side. She saw the crushed phone by the couch and a baseball bat by your side. Sam took in the scene; she didn’t see any blood or stab wounds like someone would during any other Ghostface attack. She figured you probably had the bat and tried to defend yourself and when Ghostface got the upper hand he decided to taunt you by using the item you tried to defend yourself with to hurt you. You had your hand clutched to your chest, and it was clear it had been crushed, most likely stomped on hard, based on the boot print Sam could still see on your skin.

“Baby,” Tara whispered. “I’m here, I’m right here.” Sam sucked in a breath as she saw your eyes slowly start to drift closed. “Hey, no, stay awake baby,” Tara whispered loudly, the desperation coming through. “Stay awake.”

Sam watched as your eyes finally closed, she couldn’t help the tears that filled her own eyes. She had never seen a Ghostface attack like this. Sam had always come in after the attack when the victim was already dead, like with Wes and Judy. Or she was always part of the attack and to busy trying to stay alive and save her sister. Even with Tara’s own attack Sam never saw it. Sam didn’t have to come home and find her sister bleeding out. Sam got a call and when she showed up, she already knew Tara was alive and in the hospital. Sam never had to go through this, the waiting, the finding you alive but waiting to see if you’d actually make it.

Sam realized this is what Tara must have felt when she was attacked. Tara was home alone at night, like you were. She was caught unsuspected and had to fight for her life, thinking she’d die. You weren’t apart of Woodsboro but were made a target because of your connection to Tara, you never would have imagined being attacked by a psycho. You and Tara were both left for dead, left to slowly die alone.  The only difference is you were on the phone with Tara, Tara was able to come running and be by your side. Tara though, Tara had no one until the police got there. Tara should have had Sam, but Sam had run away, Sam should have been there.

It felt like minutes but really hardly any time had passed since they arrived, but there were flashing red and blue lights outside. Sam was still a little surprised she and Tara had beaten them there. Sam saw the paramedics stomping in through the front door, she quickly wrapped her arms around Tara’s waist and lifted her up out of the way. Tara sobbed and flailed her arms, but it was no use, Sam held her tight. Sam backed them up, so they were out of the way, watching as the medics got to work, checking your pulse, lifting you onto a backboard and carrying you away. Sam knew she was the only thing keeping Tara from slumping to the floor, luckily for her Tara was rather small.

Once they lost sight out of you exiting through the front door, Tara seemed to find her strength again and wiggled out of Sams grasp. Sam reached out trying to grab her again, but Tara was off, already halfway out the door. When Sam got outside, she saw Tara about to get in the back of the ambulance, but a medic stopped her, once Tara stepped down the medic closed the doors and took off, lights flashing and siren blaring.

“We can meet her there,” Sam said softly, slowly approaching her sister. She hesitated but reached out to gently touch her arm, she didn’t want to startle her.

Tara just nodded; her head slumped as Sam flagged down another cab. The ride was a little calmer than the first one but there was an uncomfortable silence. Sam tried not to stare but she kept glancing at her sister, worried. Tara didn’t say anything, didn’t even look in her general direction, she just stared ahead out the window with an emotionless expression.

When they got to the hospital Tara once again bailed out of the cab while Sam was trying to pay. Sam was just grateful she waited until the cab was fully stopped this time. Sam slipped out of the cab and sighed; Tara was nowhere in sight. She made her way into the hospital and saw Tara at the reception desk already harassing the nurse there. Sam approached just as the nurse was telling Tara that you were in surgery, and someone would come out when they knew your status. Sam gave a grateful smile to the nurse and apologized to her for her sister, who was currently glaring at her for not being told what she wanted to hear.

Sam managed to lead Tara to the waiting room. She silently planted herself in a chair, bringing her feet up so she could rest her chin on her knees. Sam watched for a second as Tara just stared, unblinking at the white wall in front of them. She pulled out her phone shooting a group text to Mindy, Chad, and Anika. Sam was just beginning to sit down when she got a response not a minute later. The first person to respond was Anika, saying they were on their way. Sam had never met you or even heard your name, but it was obvious Anika knew you well enough to be so worried about you.

It wasn’t even half an hour later before feet were running through the halls, squeaking on the white tile. Sam looked up at the same time as Tara to see their friends. Chad plopped down next to Tara; Anika gave Tara a comforting squeeze of the hand before taking a seat across from them with Mindy by her side. Mindy and Chad watched Tara with concern, constantly looking at Sam to see if she was okay, Sam could only shrug, she knew Tara would only be okay when she knew you were out of surgery and recovering. Anika wasn’t crying but it was clear she had been, her cheeks were tear stained and Sam could see how her mascara was smeared from wiping her eyes so much.

Sam did the only thing she could do, she sat next to Tara, one arm around her, running her hand up and down Tara’s back. Sam couldn’t offer any other comfort, she knew that. No matter what Sam said it wouldn’t mean anything until Tara could see you safe and sound for herself.

Chad had gotten up and a few minutes later returned with sandwiches and juice. Sam smiled gratefully to him. She would have gone and gotten everyone something, but she didn’t want to leave Tara, she was thankful he did it. He sat two sandwiches and two cartons of juice next to Anika and Mindy before plopping back down in his seat. He held out a sandwich and juice for Tara, but she just shook her head.

“You have to eat,” Sam tried convincing her sister. Tara just shook her head, shoving Chad’s hand away. Chad sighed and looked up at Sam. Sam let out a sigh as well and took the sandwich and juice from him, she mouthed a silent thank you and put the sandwich and juice in her pocket for later.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” the nurse said, coming out to the waiting room after a few hours.

“Is she okay?” Tara asked, being the first to her feet, shortly followed by everyone else.

“Relation?”

“She’s, my girlfriend.” Sam still wasn’t used to hearing those words, but Tara said them easily, like she had been saying it for a long time.

The nurse nodded and said, “She’s out of surgery and in a room recovering, you’re welcome to go see her.”

“How is she?” Tara whispered, her voice sounding so small and more scared than Sam had ever heard.

The nurse sighed, putting her chart down, and looked at Tara with so much kindness and sympathy. “She’s alive.” Finally hearing those words made Tara let out a relieved sob. Sam couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath, she was trying so hard to be hopeful for Tara, but her mind kept going to the worst. “Her left hand was practically shattered, and she’s got seven broken or cracked ribs.” Sam’s eyes widened, she knew your injuries were bad, but she didn’t realize how extensive, though this was still one of the best-case scenarios when it came to a Ghostface attack. “It’ll take some time, but she’ll be okay,” the nurse smiled reassuringly at Tara then the others. Sam gave her a grateful nod as the nurse walked away.

You were only allowed two visitors at a time so the others said they would continue to wait in the waiting room while Tara went to see you. Sam watched as they all hugged or comforted Tara, knowing everything would actually be okay. Sam knew she didn’t know you, but she decided to go with Tara, she wanted to be there for her in case she needed her, even if it meant just sitting silently in the room while Tara sat by your bedside.

If she was allowed Sam was sure Tara would have sprinted through the halls to get to your room. Luckily for Sam she settled for a brisk walk. Tara was already in the elevator, smacking the floor your room was on multiple times by the time Sam got there. Sam had to turn sideways to make it before the doors closed, it was abundantly clear Tara wasn’t waiting for her and if Sam couldn’t make the elevator, then oh well.

Tara was out of the elevator as soon as she could fit her body through the opening. Sam trailed a few seconds behind her. She watched as her sister made her way through the halls, nothing standing in her way. Sam apologized to several nurses and doctors Tara didn’t necessarily shove out of the way, but she didn’t break her stride and walked right in front of them without even glancing in their direction.

When Sam caught up to her sister, she was standing at the threshold of your hospital room. She stared into your room, staring at your unconscious body lying in the hospital bed. Sam reached up, poking her in the shoulder. Sam wanted to laugh at how quickly Tara turned to glare at her, but she decided to just give an encouraging nod. Once Tara entered the room, she rushed to your side, pulling a chair next to your bed until it was pressed up against your bedside. Tara’s eyes didn’t leave you as she reached forward, gripping your uninjured hand in her own.

Sam slowly entered the room as well. A part of her felt like she was intruding. She didn’t know you; she’d never met you; she had never even heard of you until a few hours ago. She didn’t think you’d mind her being there though since it meant her being there for Tara. Sam slowly sat in the chair that had been next to the one Tara moved, she didn’t move it from its position though.

Sam leaned forward in the chair, watching Tara watch you. She could tell Tara had visibly relaxed, finally, just being at your side and seeing you safe for herself. Sam knew it wasn’t the right time, but her mind had been spiraling from the moment Tara walked out into the living room with the phone in her hand. “H-how long?” she whispered; she couldn’t stop herself from wondering.

“Six months,” Tara answered with a small sniffle, her eyes never leaving you.

“Six,” Sam let out a shaky breath, leaning back in her chair. “Six months. You’ve been keeping this from us, from me?” Sam couldn’t help the crack in her voice.

“I’m sorry,” Tara whispered, her voice becoming small like it did when Sam was mad at her.

Sam’s heart broke even more for her sister thinking she was mad at her. She wasn’t happy with Tara for keeping this secret, but she certainly wasn’t mad. She was mostly just hurt that Tara felt like she had to keep such a secret.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Sam assured her. “Have I really pushed you away that much?” she couldn’t help the way her voice cracked again. “Did you really feel like you couldn’t come to me, share this with me?” Sam’s eyes started to fill with tears at the thought that her paranoia pushed her sister so far away that she didn’t want to share things with Sam, that she didn’t want to share someone who made her so happy with Sam.

Sam watched as Tara finally turned to look at her, her eyes filling with tears again. “No, no, no, it’s not that,” she said quickly. “I just…” Sam watched Tara’s face as she tried to search for the right words. “I just, I was afraid of how you’d react,” she finally mumbled, dropping her eyes to the floor as if she was ashamed of the thought. “You tend to get a little… intense,” her eyes flicked up to Sam’s again before quickly finding the floor again, “when meeting new people. Not like the others are much better. I just didn’t want you guys to scare her off.”

“We wouldn’t-” Sam quickly went to defend herself but was cut off by Tara raising a brow at her. Sam quickly snapped her mouth shut. Even she knew what she was about to say was a blatant lie. “I mean if she was important to you, I would have given her a chance,” Sam tried again but was just met with a tilt of Tara’s head, giving her a knowing look. “Okay fine,” Sam sighed, slumping further into her chair. She really hated how well Tara knew her sometimes. She also had to begrudgingly admit that if Tara knew her so well, knowing how she’d react then, maybe she really was being just a tad bit overprotective. “I would have tried giving her a chance.” Tara raised both her eyebrows. Sam couldn’t help but roll her eyes, of course Tara didn’t believe that either. “Eventually,” she finally mumbled. “Maybe.”

Sam crossed her arms, leaning back in the chair, frowning. Sam had to think about it, if Tara had met you, gone on a few dates, then introduced you to Sam, well Sam wouldn’t have reacted well. Sam hated to admit it, she wouldn’t do it to intentionally hurt her sister, she would have done it in the name of protecting her, but she definitely would have tried to scare you away. Maybe Tara keeping you a secret was the best decision. Sam had to admit the only reason she was seeing reason at the moment was because you had been attacked by Ghostface, meaning you most likely weren’t a psycho killer.

“I know you mean well,” Tara said, breaking Sam out of her pouting. When Sam looked up, she saw Tara smiling, it had been the first time she had seen her sister smile all night. “You know I love you.” That got Sam to give her a small smile, despite her overprotective nature Tara still loved her. “I just liked having something for myself,” Tara whispered, her smile once again falling. “Someone who was all mine,” she looked back to you. “Someone not touched by all our darkness, until now,” she sniffled again.

Sam frowned at her sisters’ words. She hated this, hated how her sister was suffering all because of Sam, all because her father was a serial killer. “This isn’t your fault,” Sam said, leaning forward again, resting a comforting hand on Tara’s shoulder.

“If she never met me, he never would have gone after her,” Tara tried to argue, not wanting to hear she wasn’t to blame.

“That’s not true.” Sam refused to let her sister blame herself for this. It wasn’t her fault; she wouldn’t let Tara drown herself in guilt for something that wasn’t her fault.

“Yes, it is!” Tara sobbed.

“You can’t live your life controlled by fear about what might happen.” Sam knew she sounded like a hypocrite even before Tara turned to her, looking at her like she was insane. Sam couldn’t help but laugh at Tara’s face. “I know how that sounds coming from me, but I don’t want you sacrificing your chance at happiness just because I’m paranoid.” Sam never thought she’d say those words, but she knew they were true.

Tara turned back to you, gently brushing some hair out of your eyes. “I thought I lost her,” she whispered.

“Good thing your girlfriend is one hell of a fighter,” Sam smirked, giving Tara a playful shove. Tara glanced back at her with a small smile. “I know this isn’t exactly how you wanted it to go, so when you decide to officially introduce us, I can’t wait to meet her.” Sam truly couldn’t wait to meet you, to meet someone who not only held their own against Ghostface without any prior knowledge or dealings with him, but also someone who would willingly deal with her sister.           

“She can’t wait to meet you either, I’ve told her all about you,” Tara admitted, a small blush appearing on her cheeks. Sam’s eyes widened; she wasn’t sure why learning that Tara told you about her was such a surprise. “When we were talking on the phone before-” Tara swallowed, Sam just waited, allowing her sister to take the time she needed. “She-she was worried you might tase her when you met,” Tara lightly chuckled when she said that.

Sam couldn’t help but laugh along with Tara. She wanted to deny it, that there was no way she ever would have tased you, but she knew the truth, she would have had her hand on the taser the second you walked through the door. She would have watched every movement you made and the moment you did something suspicious she would have tased you, even if it turned out you were just reaching for the bottle of ketchup.

“Well, no need to worry about that anymore. At least we know she’s not Ghostface,” Sam joked.

“I want to make him pay,” Tara said through gritted teeth. Sam noticed the way Tara’s jaw was clenched, she had never seen Tara this angry before, not even after everything that happened in Woodsboro, not even after learning Amber betrayed her.

“We will,” Sam said. She knew she probably shouldn’t condone Tara’s desire for revenge, but she understood what it was like. When she got the call Tara had been attacked, she just wanted to find the person and then when she learned Richie was part of the attack and he betrayed her she just wanted to make him pay.

After arguing with Tara for over an hour about going home Tara finally agreed Sam could stay at the hospital. Sam knew there was no convincing Tara to come home, but Tara really put up a fight when Sam decided she would stay as well. She wandered off back down to the waiting room to inform the others of your status and tell them that Tara would be staying with you until you woke up and that Sam wasn’t leaving her side. The others had nodded, expecting nothing less, each of them gave Sam a hug before leaving.

Sam had gone back up to the room and it was barely an hour later when she got a text from Chad saying they were back. She wandered back downstairs to see their friends' holding bags with a change of clothes for her and Tara. She smiled, thanking them, and pulled each of them into another hug. She then ordered them to go back to her apartment or choose one of their dorms and hold up there, lock the doors and not leave until they heard from her or Tara directly.

When Sam got back up to the room again, it was late. Tara was curled up in her chair in the most uncomfortable looking position, but she had a peaceful smile on her face as she gripped your hand. Sam smiled at the sight. She sat the bags of clothes on a table and moved to the opposite side of the room. She moved the two chairs together to make a little bed so she could prop up her feet and placed her jacket against the wall as a little pillow.

Sam slowly opened her eyes, hearing some shuffling. She looked around confused, it was still the middle of the night. “Wh-what are you doing here?” she finally heard your voice. She quietly sat up in the chair, stretching, trying to disturb you and Tara as little as possible.

“I needed to make sure you were okay,” Tara said, already wide awake and at the edge of your bed.

Sam quickly and as quietly as possible moved to the door. She figured the least she could do was give you and Tara some privacy. Right before she closed the door, she heard you say, “You-you need to get out of town.” Sam’s eyes widened as the door quietly clicked shut. You had just woken up from a Ghostface attack, an attack that left you almost dead and the first thing you were worried about when you woke up was Tara’s safety.

Same waited right outside your hospital room, she moved to lean against the wall on the other side so she could keep visual of the door but also out of the way enough so hopefully you and Tara wouldn’t see her. She sent off a text in the group chat telling them you had woken up. Despite how late it was, Anika once again was the first to respond in less than a minute. She said they were on the way, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer, even if they couldn’t see you yet they’d sleep in the waiting room. Sam smiled to herself, she wasn’t sure Chad or Mindy were even awake yet and knew of this information, but she knew there would be no arguing with Anika, she would have them out the door and in a cab in less than five minutes.

Sam sighed, watching through the window as Tara and you talked, with Tara gently running her hands through your hair. Sam smiled at the sight. She couldn’t wait until Tara officially introduced you to her. Sam had a feeling she was going to like you. You put up a fight against Ghostface, you cared about Tara more than your own safety it seemed, and Anika really cared for you, yeah Sam was certain she’d like you. Sam wouldn’t tell Tara that though, no, Tara deserved to be a little stressed after she kept you a secret for so long and lied to Sam.

Taglist: @bigbadsofty07 @fanboy7794 @noooodlessstuff @tatumrileyslover @alexkolax

[h4arts]

belly conklin x fem! reader. where the reader is conrad’s best friend from school, and at first belly finds herself feeling jealous, but then she realizes she has a HUGE crush on her, and then they kiss!!

jealous, belly conklin -synopsis: since the age of twelve, belly had been jealous of your relationship with conrad. turns out, she was jealous of him the whole time. -warnings: underage drinking, kissing, angst with happy ending, very vague mention of a man not taking no for an answer, fem reader -notes: i got way carried away on this one, it's really long, i hope it's what you wanted!

Belly loved the summer house and the people in it. It was an extension of herself, the one constant she always counted down to, looked forward to, hated to leave, and always wanted to go back to. It had always been the Fisher and Conklin families, before Belly was born and long after she realized how joyous the place was. The summer she turned twelve, it became different though. That was the first summer she met you.

Conrad had spent the better half of a year begging his parents to let you go with them, that you were his best friend and he'd hate to leave you behind where all you'd have of this magical place were the stories he'd have when he got back. That's what Susannah had told Laurel when she questioned who you were. Belly just happened to overhear.

Belly hadn't cared much at the time. She'd thought that maybe another girl would mean less teasing, less jokes made at her expense. But as the summer progressed, she also felt jealous that you had just as much if not more attention from the boys as she did. They became your friends as much as they were hers. She decided then that she wished Conrad would've kept his school friends at school.

You had left a couple weeks early that summer, and Belly was glad things had gone back to normal for her last days at the beach house. It was just like it had been last summer, except it wasn't. You still lingered in the air, Conrad still talked about you and even Jeremiah and Steven did too. Belly found herself hoping as she got in the car that you wouldn't be back next year. That next summer would be the Fishers and the Conklins, no one else.

───☆───

The next summer had come, and Belly would be thirteen. It would be like any other birthday, just the parents, the boys, and her. But nearing closer to the beach house from the drive way, she knew by the laughter in the living room that you were back. Steven ran inside with Jeremiah who was previously helping with bags. Laurel gave a gentle squeeze to Belly's shoulder with a reassuring smile before following her son inside.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Belly promised herself she wouldn't let you bother her this summer. The beach house was supposed to be for happy memories and a fun summer. She wouldn't ruin that, even if she didn't like the changes it came with.

Inside, Belly was surprised when you stood to greet her with a hug, the smell of your perfume lingering even after you pulled away to help Laurel carry bags. It wasn't so strong it burned Belly's nose, but it was present enough to leave a mark that said 'I was here'.

That summer, she got sick and had to stay inside for a few days until she was better. The boys left every day without her but you stayed back and ate popsicles with her. You watched her favorite films with her and played various games with her. Then when the boys came back at night, you'd leave her with Susannah and Laurel to go hang out with them.

Even when she got better and the boys left to go camp at the beach like they had in a previous summer, there you were, trying to roast marshmallows over the living room fireplace so she could have smores too. When she asked where you'd gotten the supplies, you'd responded that Jeremiah was easy to bribe out of food with the right trade.

Belly had to admit to herself that maybe your presence wasn't so bad, that if you came back next summer, she wouldn't be so upset by it. She finally liked not being left alone or stuck with the moms watching old films, though she did enjoy it.

She was starting to think that maybe you weren't the worst thing to happen, but all those thoughts came crashing down one day at the boardwalk. Conrad asked her to go after they'd both been left alone in the house. He bought her a caramel apple, he walked down the pier with her, and when he asked to go play ring toss, Belly understood why he'd brought her. She remembered a conversation between you and Conrad earlier in the week when you and Steven had gone to the boardwalk by yourselves. You came back talking about a giraffe they had on the prize wall at the ring toss game.

When Belly approached the stand with Conrad, she saw him look right at it. She realized then that there was probably more behind the title 'best friend' when he spoke about you or when you laughed at something he'd whisper in your ear as everyone left dinner. She dragged him over to the ring toss game and said to win a prize. She walked away from him, leaving him to the pretty girl working the game.

Conrad found her later, confused as to why she didn't come back. In his hands were two prizes, which surprised Belly. He held out a polar bear with sunglasses to her. "They said it was the best prize they had." Belly took it, her other hand pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose.

"I like the giraffe better. Thanks though." Belly walked away, leaving Conrad standing in the middle of the food court with the stuffed giraffe he'd won for you.

Belly cried that night. She was jealous, Conrad had dragged her all the way out to the boardwalk to win you the stuffed animal you'd seen with Steven. It wasn't fair, that's what she told Taylor when she got back home before school. Belly hadn't said goodbye back to you that summer, too sick with dislike to say it with any meaning.

Belly hoped more than anything you wouldn't come back next summer, but she knew you would, so she would bring Taylor. She thought maybe with her best friend there, the thought of you and Conrad would be distracted from her mind.

───☆───

It was mid-June, and Belly absolutely regretted bringing Taylor. She was only concerned with seeking Jeremiah's attention, leaving barely any of her own for Belly. Meanwhile, Belly had to sit on the sidelines and watch you and Conrad. Racing to the ocean, sharing huge bowls of ice cream, sitting next to each other at dinner, talking in hushed whispers and laughing so loud it rattled her heart.

Belly had brought Taylor hoping it would distract her from you, but she was constantly with Taylor, which meant you had all of your time to spend with Conrad. It shouldn't have mattered to Belly as much as it did, you were here for him anyways. He was the only reason you were there.

Later in the summer, Jeremiah wanted Belly and Taylor to be the judges of a surfing competition. Belly thought it would be just him and Steven, she hadn't seen you or Conrad all day, but then you both showed up, surfboards tucked under your arms as he laughed and you just watched with a smile.

Belly stood up to leave, everyone else was too busy to notice. Taylor was transfixed on Jeremiah who was already running out to the water with Steven, you and Conrad still stood in the sand laughing, hiding in the shade behind your surfboards.

Laurel watched her daughter walk in the back door, shoulders hunched and a frown etched deep into her face. "What's wrong? Are you not having fun out there?"

"I don't want her here." Belly mumbled, sitting on the couch between her mother and Susannah who held a glass of iced tea in her hands. The ice was making the cup sweat, so when Susannah reached out to Belly, her hand was cool and wet. She would've hated anyone else doing that, but it wasn't anyone else, it was comforting because it was Susannah.

"You don't have to bring her next year." Belly's frown deepened. They thought she meant Taylor. And it was true, she didn't want Taylor there anymore, but she meant it about you. She was tired of looking at you having so much fun with Conrad. She was sick of watching you do everything with him. She hated that you were with him all year round and she was only there in the summer.

Usually when summer came to an end, Belly hated having to leave the beach house. All she wanted was to stay there forever. But this year, she was ready to go. She was ready to escape the jealousy she felt every time she looked at you and Conrad. She was upset with Taylor and Steven who she caught kissing at the beach after Taylor promised not to hurt Jeremiah. It felt like that whole summer was just them falling apart. Before Belly got in the car, she tried to avoid the painful goodbyes. Not because she was sad, but because she couldn't stand to leave this place with her last memory being of you. You always said goodbye last and you would hug her and she wouldn't say anything, leaving you standing there in the driveway like she had the last two years. She couldn't handle it, not after this summer's chaos.

She wasn't fast enough though, or maybe you had come outside earlier. Belly watched you walk down the porch steps, Steven's hand wrapped around your elbow as he said something stupid, judging by the way your eyes squinted in confusion before Steven shook his head, signaling to dismiss what he had said. He walked around to the other side of the car, and Belly turned to get in before you said anything. To her misfortune, you were faster, wrapping your arms around her shoulders in the same hug you gave her every time you said goodbye.

"Goodbye, Belly. Have a good year. I'm sorry we didn't see each other much." You spoke in a whisper, just like always. It annoyed her. She didn't hug you back, she didn't say anything. She pulled away, turned towards the car, and got in. Not once did she look back, she never did. Belly had done this every summer since you arrived, she couldn't stand you any longer than she had to.

As Laurel drove away, Steven turned up the music he had on aux. Taylor was staring down at her phone, tapping away furiously. Belly could still feel the cool press of your rings on her sun warmed skin, she could still hear the softness of your voice, she could still smell the faintness of your perfume that was carried in the wind.

Next summer, Belly wouldn't pay you any attention. She wouldn't watch one more summer of you and Conrad when all she could do was sit and watch.

───☆───

As soon as the car stopped, Belly swung open the car door and stepped out into the gleaming sunlight. The cool breeze felt good on her skin, it was the feeling she'd been waiting for all year. She was so glad to finally be back in Cousins for the summer, forgetting all about what happened the last time she was here.

The front door to the beach house flew open, and Jeremiah ran outside, followed by Conrad and Susannah who lingered back a bit. They all shared hugs and greetings, until Steven finally asked where you were. It was the question Belly had purposefully tried to ignore.

"She's not gonna be here for a while, her cousin's getting married." Conrad answers, and Steven seems upset with the answer but drops it. Belly wished it would take longer than just a while for you to get to the house. But, it made easing into summer that much better. She hadn't been the only girl in the beach house since she was eleven. It was just like old times, Belly, Steven, Conrad, and Jeremiah. They went swimming in the ocean, had lunch by the pool, Belly watched movies with the moms while they boys went to a party. Belly had gone to sleep every day for a week with a smile.

One morning when she woke up though, that peace was gone. Belly had gone downstairs for breakfast, only to find you standing in the kitchen with Jeremiah, flipping pancakes and dodging the strawberries Steven was throwing at you. Belly frowned, you were there early. It had only been one week. Conrad mentioned exactly that, moving down the stairs around Belly to greet you. Even he hadn't known you'd arrive early.

"My cousin and her partner are going a few hours south of here to meet other family that can't make the wedding. This is just a pit stop so I thought I'd say hi." While you spoke, Steven threw two more strawberries at you, neither of which you were able to dodge. Belly watched from the stairs as Conrad tried to wipe the stains off the white shirt you wore. They were noticeable, right in the center of your torso. "It's not a big deal." You told him, taking the towel from Conrad's hand. Belly's stomach twisted, he smiled at you so easily, and your hand was on top of his before taking the towel. Jeremiah and Steven didn't even notice, taste testing the pancakes. Belly turned around and went back upstairs.

She didn't come back until the afternoon, preparing herself to see you standing with Conrad again. Against everything in her, she'd put on the smallest bit if mascara and lip gloss, hoping she'd be noticed better. Maybe the attention wouldn't be on you then, and she wouldn't have to see Conrad staring at you. You were gone by the time she stepped of the last stair. Jeremiah told her you'd left an hour ago when she asked.

Belly went back upstairs to take off the mascara and lip gloss. She changed into her swimsuit and rushed back down stairs, diving straight into the pool. She hoped Jeremiah hadn't noticed the makeup when she asked where you were, she didn't need it if you weren't there. She wouldn't see you with Conrad, that was all she put it on for to begin with.

On the day of her birthday, Belly still hadn't seen you since the surprise visit. She opened her gifts from everyone, they all had pancakes for breakfast, per her request. Conrad had asked if she wanted to go to the boardwalk, Belly agreed. Steven and Jeremiah ended up going too, but they went straight to the arcade as soon as they arrived. Conrad followed Belly to all the things she wanted to do, until it led them to a picnic table for a snack.

Belly didn't think it was a good idea to ask, but she had to know. She asked Conrad why he was friends with you. Belly wanted to know what was so important about you that he couldn't even leave you back for two months to be at the beach house.

"She's been my best friend for years. I've known her almost as long as I've known you. I just never really talked to her until the year before I first brought her here." Conrad shrugged, he didn't understand the importance of the question. But now that Belly had asked it and received the wrong answer, she didn't understand why it was important for her to know either. But she'd already asked, she wanted a real answer.

"That isn't what I asked you." Conrad sighed at that. He took a long sip of his drink and paused, almost as if he really had to think about the answer. Maybe he was just trying to avoid it.

"She was there for me when I needed someone." He answered shortly.

"And no one else was?"

"That's not what I meant." She knew. But she wanted a real answer, not a vague one, not one that could be misinterpreted. And she'd already asked twice. There clearly wasn't anything special about you, or Conrad wanted to keep something about your relationship secret. Either of those explanations would've confirmed Belly's suspicions.

"She just, she makes people feel safe with her even if they don't know her. She's just got that about her, y'know?" Belly had never heard Conrad say that about anyone. But, it made sense to her now though, why he would drag you miles from your own home and family every summer just to spend that extra time with you. It also made sense to her that you were more than his best friend, and she had a feeling she knew just how much more.

"Hey guys, guess who I just saw outside!" Jeremiah ran up to their table, Steven trailing a safe distance behind. Belly and Conrad stood up, following Jeremiah and Steven to the exit. The sun was setting, Belly hadn't realized how long they'd been there.

Just as Jeremiah said, you stood in the parking lot alone, a jacket draped over your folded arms. Belly guessed you'd come straight from the reception, judging by your slightly smudged makeup and the dress you wore that rippled softly around your legs in the breeze. Once you saw them, you reached into the bag hanging from your shoulder and handed each of them a pressed flower.

"My cousin saved me the leftover ones for my room. I don't need all the ones she gave me." The boys clutched onto them like it was all they'd ever have of you, observing every inch of their flower like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Belly put hers in her pocket. She didn't look back at you after she did, not wanting to know if you'd seen her do it.

Back at the house that night, Belly sat in her room, looking at the clock every so often. It was late for her to still be up, even for it being summer. Everyone was asleep, so she got ready to go for a night swim. This was the latest she had ever gone, so there was no chance Susannah would come down tonight. She'd have the pool all to herself, but she was wrong.

On a chair across the deck from the door, you sat looking out to the stars above the ocean. Hearing the creak of the door, you look back to see Belly standing there, a towel tightly clutched in her hand. Belly was surprised when you didn't smile at her before you looked away. You always did, and it felt odd to Belly that you didn't. She wondered if something happened, if you were upset with her about the flower or if you finally gave up on trying to be nice to her.

Belly considered going to sit next to you, but as she walked farther out from the deck, she saw the look on your face, illuminated by the moonlight. You weren't mad, or sad, or upset. You were just there. There was nothing wrong, so Belly dropped the towel on the closest chair to the pool and dove in. She swam her laps, took short breaks to just float, and every time she looked back at you, you were still there, eyes never once leaving the sky.

Finally feeling tired, Belly got out of the pool and wrapped herself in the towel. She headed towards the door to go back inside, but something made her stop. Something made her want to go sit with you and watch the stars, just for a bit. You still didn't look away from the sky as Belly sat next to you, and she didn't say anything. She tucked her knees up to her chin to fully wrap the towel around herself and she watched the stars with you.

She had no idea what you were thinking, or if you were even thinking about anything at all, so she quietly kept an eye out for any shooting stars until you suddenly moved your hand to your pocket. Belly jumped slightly, not expecting you to move. You pulled out a small box and handed it to Belly.

"Happy birthday, Belly." Then you turned back to the stars. She carefully removed the lid from the box, revealing a small starfish charm glinting delicately in the light from the moon. "For the charm bracelet you've got. It's to remind you of this place even when you aren't here. I know how much you love it here." That was all you said, and Belly assumed it's all you would say.

She stared down at the charm, and thought back to what Conrad had said earlier at the boardwalk. She makes people feel safe with her even if they don't know her. She's just got that about her, y'know? Belly now knew how true that really was. Even back when she first met you, you had been the one to make sure she never felt left out, you'd sit with her when she was sick or when the boys would leave without her. You'd always tell her to have a good year when she left and you meant it every time, even when she left you standing in the driveway without saying anything back. You'd gotten her something to remember this place and all the amazing memories it held.

Belly realized there was nothing about you that she could hate. Not the way your voice lingered in her head all the way home at the end of the summer, not your perfume that she could smell long after you'd vanished from sight, not the cooling metal of your rings that came with every touch or hug you gave her, not the welcoming smile you always wore. Even tonight, when she first walked out the door and saw you. She realized if it had been anyone else besides Susannah, she would have turned around and gone back inside. For some reason, it didn't bother her that you were out there with her. She felt safe.

"Good night, Belly." Belly looked up from the charm to see you already halfway back inside. "Don't stay up too late, you'll hate yourself for it in the morning." You were gone before Belly could say anything back. She wished she would've said something, she didn't even say thank you. It made her think about every summer she never said anything back, never hugged you back, never looked back.

Summer was over fast after you got there. Belly didn't try to avoid your goodbyes this time, but she was confused now. Why was she now realizing that all the things she thought she hated about you, she didn't and never had? She still didn't hug you back. She still didn't say goodbye. But halfway down the street, she looked back. It was the first time she ever did, and she wished she hadn't. Your arms were crossed over yourself, the same way she did when she felt bad. You were frowning, and then Conrad was at your side, wrapping an arm wound your shoulder and leading you back inside, a gentle smile on his face. Had it always been that way?

───☆───

It was spring break now, and Belly was still confused about last summer. She tried talking to Taylor about it, but she couldn't form the right words. All those times she saw you with Conrad, was it really you she was jealous of? Or was it just wishing that she was doing those things with you instead. Did she hate your goodbye hugs because if she hugged back she wouldn't let go? She missed the nights the boys left and it was just you and her, making your own jokes to laugh at. She finally recognized that she wanted to be the one you turned to, not Conrad.

Her whole life, she was so sure she wanted Conrad, for him to want her and to be with him. Now she wasn't sure that's what she'd wanted. Maybe deep down, she'd wanted the giraffe at the boardwalk because you wanted it, and it was subconsciously as close to you as she could get at the time.

Belly had stared at her phone for hours over the course of spring break, debating whether or not to call. She had no idea what she would say if she did, but she didn't like being confused over it. Time kept passing and Belly never called. And before she even knew it, school was out, exams were done, and she was packing her bags to go back to Cousins.

The ride there was the same as always, but when the car pulled in to the drive, only Jeremiah was on the porch waiting. He hugged Steven first before Laurel made her way over to ask about Susannah, to which Jeremiah responded that she was inside sleeping. Conrad came around the house a few moments later, pausing at the sight of them like he'd forgotten they were coming. He quickly greeted them before Steven announced it time for a 'Belly flop'. Conrad and Jeremiah were quick to follow. Belly looked around for you, but you weren't there. She guessed you were inside somewhere, waiting for them.

When Belly hit the water, she heard a new tone of voice added over the laughter of the boys. Swimming back to the surface, she saw you over Conrad's shoulder. You were smiling, hitting Steven's shoulder playfully. Belly swam over to the edge of the pool where you met her and kneeled down to help her out of the water. Once you were both sitting on the ground, you pulled Belly in for a hug, getting the front of your shirt wet. You both laughed and for the first time, Belly hugged you back. Things were going to be different that summer, she'd make sure of it.

Something was already different, though. Jeremiah and Conrad had never really paid her much attention before, but their stares had lingered a little longer than they ever had. Even Susannah had said Belly looked prettier, and she wondered if maybe your stare would linger as long as the boys' had. She hoped so.

The bonfire party came later in the week, and to Belly's disappointment, you'd spent most of that time with Conrad more than anyone else. Steven had told her not to go, and that he wouldn't be responsible for her. Belly didn't really want to go, but if was the only time she'd get to see you, she would go.

She called Taylor that night, asking her friend's opinion on what to wear. The call consisted of less help than meaningless bickering about what she should say to you. After the call had ended, Belly stared at her reflection in the mirror. She wondered if the dress she'd put on would even be noticeable to you, or if you would even care.

A thud echoed from across the hall, breaking Belly's thoughts. She went to see where the noise had come from, which led her to your room. Before she could say anything, the door flew open, revealing you in a shorter dress than you'd worn before and your makeup that hadn't been redone since the morning. You were shocked to see Belly standing there, waiting for you to say something.

"I heard something fall." Belly watched the crease between your brows even out, the confusion leaving your face.

"I just knocked my phone over. No big deal." You shrugged, stepping out of your room and closing the door behind you. "Are you going to the party?" You ask, eyes tracing over the dress Belly wore.

"Oh, um, yeah. Don't tell Steven though." Belly looked down, realizing that Steven would see her once she got there, so you telling him wouldn't even matter.

"Don't worry about him, go and have fun. He can be mad later, you look great." You put an arm around Belly's shoulders, leading her to the stairs so you could go.

Steven, Conrad, and Jeremiah had already left, the party was undoubtedly already in full swing. Belly would have questioned why you didn't go with them, but she knew from Conrad and Jeremiah's stories that you were always late to parties anyways.

Belly went around to the passenger side of your car, waiting for you to get your keys. She glanced in the window of the backseat and saw in the small amount of moonlight a stuffed giraffe in the middle seat. The one Conrad won at the boardwalk. A frown pulled at her lips as you walked outside, unlocking the car. Belly immediately got in, looking out the window. Getting in the car yourself, Belly felt your eyes on her, and when she looked at your reflection in the window, she saw the worry in them.

"We don't have to go. We can stay back and watch movies." You say, pausing to put the key in the ignition.

"No. I want to go." Belly still didn't look back, but she truly did want to go now. She couldn't go back inside and go to bed. It felt like every time she thought maybe she had a chance, Conrad came right back. The giraffe in your backseat was proof enough that she was right. She was going to the party, either with you or someone else to distract her from that thought.

"Okay." The car started, and the whole drive, Belly didn't look anywhere but out the window. You'd glance at her once in a while, making sure she was still okay. Belly tried to ignore it, just focusing on the music softly playing from the radio.

Barely waiting for the car to park along the crowded street, Belly tried to open the door. You locked it before she could, causing her to groan in annoyance. "Promise you'll tell me if you want to leave."

"Fine." Belly still didn't look at you, and she tried the door again. "Just unlock the door so we can go."

"Look at me, Belly." Finally, she turned to look at you, one hand still on the door and frowning. "Promise, or I'll turn around."

"I promise." Her shoulders deflated into a more relaxed posture, and you unlocked the door. Belly split from you as soon as you got to the crowd of people drinking and laughing. She needed a minute alone before she could go back to you or she got caught by Steven.

"Hey, Belly!" Jeremiah was walking over to her, a full solo cup in his hand. He held it out to her, and laughed at the grimace on her face as she looked down at it. "Don't worry, it's just water. I'm driving tonight."

She took the cup, from him and downed about half of the water before handing it back. Her nervousness had dried her throat. Jeremiah just shook his head with a smile. "Wait, how'd you get here? Some creep didn't drag you here, right?" It was Belly's turn to laugh, and she shook her head, explaining she'd come with you.

"Actually, did you see where she went?" Jeremiah squinted, trying to remember if he'd seen you.

"I don't think I've seen her yet, I mean you just got here, right? Maybe Steven knows, he was hanging around by the fire." He responds, turning to go in the direction Steven was.

"No, I don't want him to know I'm here yet." Belly stops him, and Jeremiah frowns but doesn't argue.

"I can ask Conrad." Belly nods, and Jeremiah leaves the cup of water with her as he goes racing off to find his brother.

A few minutes later, Jeremiah comes back, reaching for the water cup back from Belly. He took a long drink before answering Belly's previous question about your whereabouts. "She's actually with him right now. They're over by the water." Jeremiah points towards the ocean in a vague pattern, but Belly thanks him anyway and makes her way down the beach.

However, as Belly got closer, she stopped, trying to register what was happening in front of her. You were kissing Conrad, and clearly so distracted you didn't even notice the tide getting the side of your shoe wet. Your hands were in his hair and his arms were around your waist and Belly felt so upset that she almost didn't notice the man standing a few feet from you drop his cup and walk away.

Steven suddenly appeared with Jeremiah and a girl she hadn't seen before, and she was too frozen to even consider trying to run away before Steven saw her. "Belly, what are you doing here?" Her eyes turned to Steven who was quickly approaching her, she hadn't seen you when you appeared next to her, gently taking her arm and leading her away before Steven got to her.

"Let me go!" Belly tried to pull her arm away from you. You didn't let her go until you were both a safe distance from the crowd on the beach.

"Belly, just breathe." You stood in front of her, and she tried to move around you. "Belly." You blocked her again.

"Just let me go."

"Go where? And who with?" Belly didn't know, she just wanted away from you, and Conrad, and Steven. She didn't know when her tears started falling, or when you hugged her and she fought against your hold until she finally gave up. She let you run your hand up and down her arm to soothe her, you let her cry into your shoulder. "I'm sorry." You whispered.

Belly realized she'd been right, that it had always been you and Conrad. No matter how badly she hoped, it would never be you and her. Maybe she could've changed that if she'd been nicer all those past summers, maybe if she would've matched your efforts to be there, that could've been her you kissed on the beach.

"Let's go home, okay?" Belly nodded, she let you lead her back to your car. Even when you'd gotten home, she let you lead her up to her room, wash the light makeup she had on off her face and laid out a change of clothes. After you'd left her with a 'goodnight', Belly lay awake staring at her ceiling. The summer had just started, she couldn't handle watching you and Conrad all summer. She had barely tolerated it in previous summers. It would hurt worse to see it knowing for certain that you loved him.

She wasn't sure how long she had laid there when she heard stumbling on the stairs followed by a string of quiet curses. She heard you and Jeremiah say goodnight before Jeremiah's door closed and Conrad's swung open, hitting the wall before there was a long pause of silence.

Belly quietly got out of her bed and went to her door, cracking it open just enough to see what was happening. You were backing out of Conrad's room, whispering something she couldn't hear before shutting his door. Belly closed her own door, it wasn't loud, but it was audible. She stood behind her now closed door, listening as you stopped on the other side of it.

"Belly," She didn't respond, she didn't move. She just stood and stared right at the door where your face you be if she opened it. You sighed. "Good night." Belly listened until the sound of your footsteps quieted and your door squeaked shut across the hall.

Belly couldn't fall asleep, even after she had been back in her bed for an hour. She couldn't stop thinking about what she'd seen at the party, what you might've told Conrad before you shut his door, what you probably did the rest of the year when you weren't at the beach house. She wondered if you slept more peacefully than her, not knowing how badly Belly's heart was breaking.

The next morning, Belly didn't want to leave her bed. She didn't want to see you and Conrad, it would just make last night more real. Unfortunately for her, her mother walked in at the exact second she turned away from the door to go back to sleep.

"Belly, you need to get up. It's already late." Laurel sat on the edge of her daughter's bed, pulling the sheets off Belly's head.

"No. Can't I just sleep today?"

"It's summer Belly, go out in the sun, you can sleep tonight." Laurel sighed, standing up and going back to the door. She told Belly that you, Conrad, and Steven had gone to get drinks and muffins. Belly got up then. She thought she could go downstairs, eat something, and escape the house before you got back. Jeremiah was the only one at the time Belly could stand to see without being lectured or heartbroken.

"Finally! I thought I was gonna have to sit out on the surfing competition today." Jeremiah smiled up at Belly as she entered the kitchen, grabbing a box of cereal and a bowl, taking the milk from the counter before Jeremiah could refill his glass.

"I'm not going." Belly said, stuffing a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. Jeremiah rolled his eyes.

"Of course you are, Steven's an unfair judge."

"No I am not!" Steven appeared in the doorway, a box balanced on one arm and a coffee cup in the other. Belly froze, she hadn't made it out in time.

"Yes you are, you give us all twos at best." Conrad followed after Steven with another box.

"That's not true." Steven argues, sliding Jeremiah's cup over to set down the box he carried.

"It so is. Just because we're better than you." Belly didn't look anywhere but her bowl of cereal, your voice was the last one she wanted to hear right now.

"Shut up, just because you went to a fancy camp-"

"No I did not!" You and Steven continued the banter as you set down the drink carriers balanced in your hands. Conrad opened the muffin boxes, mindlessly reaching for one as his eyes full of amusement never once left you and Steven you were now pushing each other.

"Hey! Watch the food, some people are actually hungry." Childishly, Steven stuck his tongue out at Jeremiah, who in turn rolled his eyes.

"Didn't your mom tell you we were bringing muffins?" Belly looked up for the first time since you got back. The boys had left the kitchen with their plates of muffins and drinks.

"Yeah, I didn't want to wait. I thought you'd be longer." Belly lied, putting her bowl in the sink and muttering that she'd come back later to clean it. She quickly left to go back to her room, getting right back into her bed.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at her door before it was gently pushed open. You walked in with a plate of muffins and two drinks balanced in your hands. Walking over to Belly, you held out one of the drinks, sitting next to her. Once Belly had taken the drink, you set the plate down in front of her on the bed.

"I know you're upset with me Belly." She looked at you, pretending not to know what you meant. "I would've talked to you about it last night, but I think it was best we both slept off a bit of emotion before talking." Belly looked away, she wasn't ready to have this conversation yet. Not last night, not now, probably not ever. Her heart couldn't take it. "Talk to me, and if you still hate me after we talk, I'll leave you be."

"Do you love him?" Belly's voice was hardly above a whisper, but you heard, and with a small sigh, you answered, knowing exactly who she was talking about.

"He's my best friend, Belly. He has been for years. There's a thing about a friend like that, that just becomes a part of you and your life. I do love him, very much. But I'm not in love with him and he's not in love with me." You explain gently, eyes never leaving the side of her face.

"So why'd you kiss him?" Belly looked at you, there was a certain sadness in them that broke your heart.

"Because some people don't listen to words like they do actions." That's when Belly remembered the man that had stormed away from you before Steven and Jeremiah showed up. She hadn't thought anything of it when it happened, too focused on her own heart breaking.

"Oh." Belly took a sip of her drink. Maybe she had misread the whole thing.

"You can talk to me Bells." You hadn't called her that before, she wished you would've. She wished you'd keep doing it.

"I like you." Belly blurted before she could talk herself out of it. You smiled at her.

"I know. I like you too." Belly's eyes scrunched in confusion. "I was just waiting for you to figure it out yourself."

"I hate you." Belly smiled then, her face relaxing as you both laughed.

"That's not what you just said."

"No." Belly thought back to all the summers she'd spent with you that led up to now, you laughing in her room. You liked her, not Conrad. "What was that thing you were saying about actions..." She laughed again as you rolled your eyes in fake annoyance.

"What do you want? My muffin? My drink?" This time Belly rolled her eyes and you'd laughed, but she still took the drink, setting both on the night stand beside her.

"I want you to kiss me."

"Okay." You took her face in your hands and kissed her. Belly hadn't realized before, but she lived for this moment. She could've done this all along, had your lips on hers, your hands in her hair, rings pressing lightly against her cheeks, your perfume drowning her in a scent that made everything but you disappear.

When you pulled away, she found herself wishing you hadn't. She didn't want you to stop, and then it hit her that she'd only ever have you in the summer. You lived hours from her, she couldn't go to you whenever she wanted. She had just finally gotten you, and not even three months later, she'd have to let you go.

"I'll come find you." Your voice broke her thoughts.

"What?"

"When summer's over." Belly thought you'd read her mind, you knew the look she had in her eyes. "I'll be there when you need me." She didn't say anything, she didn't want to think about it. Summer had just started anyway, and now she had you. She kissed you again, ignoring your complaint about the muffins that still hadn't been touched. How could she care about those muffins right now when she'd been waiting long enough to finally kiss you?

[hlficlibrary]

HL Fic Library 🌲 Stuck in a Cabin Fics

Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.

🌲 Snow by Septic_Styles {M, 70k}

The snow was packed high, completely covering the doorway. Louis reached out to touch it but Harry pulled his arm back in.

"What are you doing?" he hissed.

"It's snow, Harry, not some creature from Mars." Louis rolled his eyes and pressed his index finger to it. It wasn't soft, it was firm and had an almost crunchy texture like the freezing temperature had turned it into ice as the night passed on. It had been sitting there for some time. "Yeah, just as I suspected," Louis said, closing the front door.

"What?"

"We're fucked."

Louis is set to travel thirteen hours up the country to stay with his family at a holiday rental in Edinburgh for Christmas, but when he makes an overnight stop at his cabin in the woods in the Lake District, an unexpected, unlikely face - which Louis has spent all of his teenager and most of his adult years resenting - comes knocking, seeking for help.

Little did they know that the heaviest snowfall England had ever seen would snow the two foes in for a week...

🌲 To the Ends of the Earth by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci {M, 68k}

During a yearlong hiatus, Louis visits Harry at his cabin in Idaho, where long-buried feelings ignite like the fire keeping them warm.

🌲Take on Me by @haztobegood {E, 60k}

Actor Harry Styles is preparing for his next leadi ng role as Antonius the Gladiator with the help of Louis Tomlinson, Hollywood’s top stunt coordinator. When the demands of Harry’s career get in the way of their training, the pair head to a secluded cabin to complete their training. Then, Louis begins to share senses with Harry. What is causing this mysterious connection and can Louis and Harry figure out how to stop it before they leave the cabin?

🌲 Warming Up to You by @youreyesonlarry {E, 56k}

“I feel you,” Harry nods along as he zips his bag open, carefully pulling out his fancy looking camera before pressing a button to turn it on. “I love taking pictures for a number of reasons, but I think the best part of the whole thing is that I’m able to go through my older pictures and have all these memories from those moments come back to me.”

He puts the camera against his eye and points at Louis, and before the shorter one can even react, he hears a ‘click’, and Harry’s smiling down at the screen of his camera.

“And I don't think I want to forget about the day I got stranded in a cabin with a pretty stranger,” he finishes off.

Prompt 111: Louis and Harry are strangers that somehow got stranded during a blizzard. They find themselves in an abandoned cabin and have to cuddle for warmth. Cuddling leads to much more.

🌲 Cabin Fever by @germericangirl {E, 46k}

“What the fuck is he doing here?“ He asked still looking at him, before he turned back to look at Niall for an answer.

Niall’s mouth fell open and he looked at him with wide eyes "He um changed his mind?“

Harry stared at Niall for a few seconds in silence, before grabbing a bag and walking towards a bedroom without looking at anyone else, slamming the door shut behind himself.

Liam flinched in front of Louis.

“Well I’m happy to see you too.“ Louis mumbled, some of the tension leaving his body. This wasn’t exactly how he thought their first meeting would go. It was quiet for a moment before Louis finally spoke up “Did you seriously not tell him I was coming?“

Or: One cabin, one bed, two ex-boyfriends. What could possibly go wrong?

🌲 Snow Job by @duchesskitty16 {E, 42k}

Harry is a world famous rock star who is closeted and never gives interviews. Louis is a failed novelist and reporter for a gossip magazine that has fallen on hard times. Louis is promised a promotion if he can get the ultimate get - an interview with Harry Styles. Louis finds out that Harry has a mountain cabin near where his friends Zayn and Niall live and heads up to try and meet him. In a twist of fate, Louis has an accident and Harry saves him. Will Louis get his story, or will the fact that he's falling in love change things? Will Harry forgive him when he finds out Louis is lying to him? Will Harry find the courage to come out of the closet and finally be happy?

🌲 too much, but it’s enough by @ohpleaselarry {E, 40k}

There are about a thousand things Louis wishes he could go back in time and fix. A thousand things, and nearly all of them include Harry.

There are the more simple things, like showing him more support, telling him it’s okay to be himself, gently reminding him that a condom in his pocket is rather obvious in skinny jeans, but if he could just choose one thing, just one to change, he’d probably just have told the lad he loves him.

Always has. And always will.

🌲 Something As Simple As This by frenchkiss {E, 34k}

Trapped in a cabin in the middle of nowhere after a blizzard derails Louis from getting home, he and the attractive stranger who owns the place have nothing to do but... well, each other. It would be a real shame if feelings got in the way, and even more of a shame if a secret about this stranger's identity turned both their lives upside down and inside out.

🌲 Etched in Salt (is a cathedral of the world) by @helloamhere {E, 24k}

Louis asks for very few things in life, and they are: to solve cases, to keep bad people from doing their bad things, to get good coffee, to go home to a spacious apartment with nobody else in it, and to manage his stupid telempathy powers with minimal interference. And now he's stuck in a tiny cabin in a snowstorm in the middle of god-awful-nowhere with Harry Styles. Because of course he is.

🌲 you’re the habit that i can’t break by @ohpleaselarry {NR, 24k}

The boys decide to have a belated band reunion, just the five of them. One week, one cabin in the mountains, five boys.

Harry and Louis haven’t spoken sober in a year.

🌲 An Aurora Grove Christmas by @dandelionfairies {T, 17k}

Harry gets lost on his way to St. Louis. The roads are horrid because of the snow and he ends up spinning into a ditch. Lucky for him, he finds a cabin nearby, as well as a cute blue-eyed man who immediately helps him. Unfortunately, his car is stuck for the night, but at least he has a place to stay with Louis. With the snow continuing to fall and another storm front coming through, will he ever make it out of Aurora Grove? Does he even want to?

🌲 The fic where Harry calls Louis an idiot for ten days straight because he is one. by @mercurial-madhouse {M, 16k}

They’ve found the perfect get away from their busy lives as nationally-famous footie player and well-respected restaurant critic, escaping to the isolation of a cabin in the woods where they can simply be Louis and Harry.

If only both were actually here.

A gift forgotten in London, the untameable force of the weather, and the scent of burnt snickerdoodle biscuits find Harry and Clifford pitifully alone and Louis... Where is Louis?

🌲 Darling, Just Hold My Hand by likelarry {E, 10k}

Louis and Harry decide to spend a week at a skii resort with their families during the Christmas holidays.

On Christmas night, Harry goes into labor but the family gets snowed in which forces him to give birth in the cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Luckily, his husband is a surgeon who can help.

🌲 heaps of blankets by gemma {E, 7k}

You know when you and the one you love go for a not-so-adventurous adventure? And you do everything that's crazy, everything you want and just enjoy each other's company? That's Harry's plan when he rents a cabin at a resort in the mountains for him and Louis.

🌲 Orchids by talasArchivesx / @talasarchive {M, 7k}

“Do you find me sensible yet?” Twenty-two letters and six words, yet it lingers on Louis’ mind like an old song playing from a worn cassette. Such a memory holds so much significance it visits Louis’ mind every unsuspecting moment.

The words are a dreamy reminder of such precious seconds of his life.

A story about losing against the drifting tide, and finally coming home; featuring a cabin, winter blizzard and “one bed”.

🌲 Let It Snow by @jaerie {E, 6k}

With a blizzard approaching, Louis planned to spend his birthday with a drink and a good book. In his self exile at his remote cabin, he never expected a poorly dressed stranger to show up shivering and covered in snow. He also didn’t expect to have one of his best birthdays on record.

🌲 wish i knew how to break this spell by eleadore {E, 6k}

Maybe it should be more of a surprise to open the door and find Harry wrapped up in about a dozen blankets, face pink from the cold and soft from sleep. It isn’t.

Harry, Louis, and a cabin. It's cold outside.

🌲 Strange Trails by bananazine {G, 4k}

After one of Harry Style's third-years lost their favourite hat on a class hike, Harry goes back the next day to retrieve it. To his demise, a downpour of rain strikes, forcing him to search for shelter. He runs without a stop towards the nearest clearing and his prayers get answered when he sees an old hunting cabin. With trepidation slowing his steps, he finally makes it towards the presumably vacant cabin. Though, to be polite, he knocks, only to be faced by the bluest eyes he has ever seen.

🌲 (not) driving home for christmas by BeautifulWisdom / @justanotherghostblr {T, 3k}

Spending the holidays alone at his cabin, driving through a snowstorm Harry hits an animal. He takes the large dog back to his cabin to see if he can keep it alive until the storm breaks and he can get to a vet. Colour him surprised and woefully unprepared when said dog turns into a very bloody and very naked man.

[babybluebex]

rememories | tommy shelby x fem!reader

summary: the lee family trashed your betting room, including your most prized possessions, and tommy does everything in his power to soothe you and right the wrongs that the rival gang caused. pairing: tommy shelby (peaky blinders) x fem!reader tags: s1!tommy, tommy being a sweetheart, your daughter's name is thomasine (thanks @lost-in-sokovia for that one), no real warnings for this other than like angst? brief emotional distress? idk author's note: it's come to this lol. i'll be fixing my cillian masterlist later and reblogging it, so y'all can read all of my old tommy fics (and a few other cillian characters lmao) but i hope you enjoy this one!

The backroom was in total disrepair. Chairs were tipped over, things were thrown from tables, coins scattered everywhere and marks of bludgeonings on the walls. The poor little room was merely a shell of itself, its personality and life battered away. You could still hear your husband’s jaded laughter as he made fun of John for wanting to marry Lizzie Stark, but mere minutes ago now seemed like a lifetime away.

Scudboat sat as Arthur poured him whisky, and he explained how the Lees, “the whole lot of ‘em”, came in and destroyed the betting backroom. He was ambushed, he said, or he would have done a better job defending it. You held Tommy’s hands as fear made your own shake, and your husband sighed. “Find what can be salvaged,” he said, narrowly missing John’s angry fit as he kicked a box over. “Anything is better than nothing.”

“This is terrible,” you sniffled, and Tommy extracted his handkerchief for you. It was one that you had bought for him right after you had gotten married and just before he went to war, and you were always amazed that the silky cloth made it as far as it did. You dabbed at your eyes, scowling at your dark makeup that came off, and your heart beat fiercely against your ribcage for a moment. “The children. Was Finn here for this, Scudboat? Or Thomasine?”

“Nah,” he said. “Finn was off in town; Thomasine ain’t come home from school yet.”

“Oh, Tommy, they can’t see the house like this!” you whimpered and clutched your husband’s arm. “It’ll upset Thomasine too much. I’ll fetch her from school and keep her away from the house for a while until this is mostly fixed.”

Tommy nodded wordlessly in agreement, and he began to take off his cap, but he quickly stopped. He was fixated on something on the floor at his feet, and you looked down to match his gaze, only to be greeted with the big leather book that held your most prized possessions: your photographs. You kept the album in the betting room because it was always filled with people, witnesses in case something happened, and, really, who would want to ruin Tommy Shelby’s wife’s photographs?

Your knees crunched on glass as you lowered yourself to the album, and you took it in your shaking hands. The dark green leather was stained black with spilled ink and oil, obscuring your gold-foiled name on the spine, and you opened the book with a creak of the old pages. You didn’t want to have to assess the damage, but the first page already had you weeping pathetically again. The first photograph, the first one ever taken of you and Tommy, sitting and laughing together as Ada tried out her new camera, years and years ago at fifteen and thirteen. It was gone. The page was yellowed all around where the photograph should be, but the picture itself was gone. You wanted to throw the book across the room and scream; you weren’t concerned with material things, many girls from Small Heath were the same way, but those photographs were your pride and joy. The next page was a formal picture taken of Tommy wearing his Army uniform, his lanky seventeen-year-old build a little too small for the uniform that he would grow into. The corner of the photograph was torn but, thankfully, mostly intact.

The third page made you press the book to your chest. Your wedding photographs. You and Tommy had gotten married quickly, two days before he had to go to France, and, in your haste, you hadn’t been able to afford much. You could only afford a single copy of each photograph: one of you in your Sunday best that was your wedding dress, one of Tommy in his uniform, and one of you together. All three photographs were torn to shreds, settled in the spine of the book, waiting for you to find them. Those wedding photographs were the most important thing in the world to you, and now they were gone. Not even pasting glue could fix it. “Tom!” you sobbed, pressing the back of your wrist to your mouth. “O-Our wedding photographs! Th-They’re all ripped up!”

Your husband’s attention went from Scudboat to you, and he walked over to you and knelt down next to you. He took the small bits of photographs in his fingers, examining them intently, and he sighed heavily. “Fuck, love,” he whispered, and your sobs grew heavy. If Tommy was resigned to fate, then there was no chance of them being fixed. “I’m sorry.”

“We-We don’t have any extras, do we?” you stuttered. Your mouth felt dry as your fingers tried to match the ripped edges of photographs up, but they were too far gone. “Tom, d-do we have any others? Th-These aren’t the only ones we have, right?”

Tommy sat down next to you and put an arm around you, and he watched you frantically sob for just a second more before he used his strength to pull you into his chest. The photo album fell out of your hands, and you clutched your husband as you wailed in sorrow. Your wedding photos were gone.

“Mummy?” you heard a little voice call from the doorway, and you turned to see your wee daughter, Miss Thomasine Sophia Shelby, standing at the door. She was holding her school books in her arms, the pink ribbon in her hair coming loose. Thomasine was born just after Tommy come home from France, five years ago, and she looked like a Shelby, dark hair and bright eyes, but she had her father’s smile. “Mummy, why’re you crying?”

You sniffled and wiped at your eyes, not caring that you streaked your makeup to hell and back, and you mumbled, “People came into the house, did us over. I-I’m just sad, that’s all.” You didn’t want to worry your daughter with the real reason why you were so upset, because, truly, you felt silly for being so distraught at fucking photographs. It felt ridiculous for you, as a grown woman, a mother, to be crying over photographs.

Thomasine ran to you and sat her small body in your lap, and she wrapped her small arms around you. “Don’t be sad,” Thomasine told you, and you laughed humorlessly. “It’s okay, Mummy.”

You sniffled and soothed your hand down Thomasine’s hair— the ends of her long hair were turning a little ginger, just the same as her father’s tended to do in the sun— and you kissed her forehead. “Thank you, love,” you whispered. “Hug your father, he’s sad too.”

Thomasine crawled out of your lap and into Tommy’s, and Thomasine started to suck her thumb as Tommy stood up and settled his daughter firmly on his hip. He offered you a hand to stand up, and you sniffled as you gathered the soiled photo album up in your grip and stood up on your own. “If you find any of ‘em,” Tommy called to the room, and he gestured to the album in your arms. “Bring ‘em to her, don’t waste time. Yeah?”

You hardly slept that night. After securing the house and making sure that there wasn’t any other part of it that the Lees had touched, you had tried to go about your life normally, but it was difficult to pretend like you didn’t know that, at any time, rivals could enter your home and slaughter every last one of you. You put Thomasine to bed after dinner, and your girl fell asleep quickly, but you yourself were awake for hours. Tommy had taken your photo album and put it away in his wardrobe; “If you keep it, you’ll fret over it forever.” He was right, of course, because, when the sun came up, you had tugged it out and was trying to sort through the scraps of photographs on your bedroom floor. The room was cold and part of you wished that you could be in bed, holding your husband close, but you needed to do it for yourself. You had managed to salvage a single photograph by the time Tommy was blinking himself awake, and you sniffled as you beckoned him over. “Tommy, look!” you exclaimed. “I-It’s Thomasine!”

“Jesus, woman,” Tommy sighed groggily. “Have you been at this all night?”

“Yes!” you exclaimed. “Her baby picture, look!”

Tommy reached down for you and he took your hand, and he helped you stand up, his hands going to hold your cheeks. “I know you’re having a hard time with this,” he whispered. “But obsessing over it is only going to make it worse. They’re as good as gone, darling.”

“B-But—” you sniffled, and Tommy shook his head.

“You have to let it go,” He told you firmly. “Come back to bed, you don’t have to be awake for hours.”

“Oh, Tommy,” you sighed, shuffling back up to bed. Your joints hurt from sitting on the floor practically all night, and your vision watered up as you watched Tommy gather up the album and photograph scraps and set them back in his wardrobe. “What am I going to do? All of my favorite memories are lost.”

“You still have the memories in your head, love,” Tommy told you, sitting next to you. You leaned into him and pressed your cheek to his warm chest, and you sniffled as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“I just…” you mumbled. “Our wedding pictures is the thing I’m most upset about. We were so young, and that was before everything went to shit, and we were so happy…”

“We’re still happy,” Tommy assured you. “We’re happier now, because we have Thomasine. We’re a complete family now.”

“You know what I mean,” you said. “We were poor kids, and-and looking at those pictures gave me hope that you’d come home when you were in France. They were my lifeline for a long time, and to have them ruined like this…”

Tommy’s lips formed into a thin line, and he rubbed your back comfortingly as you finally laid down and tried to settle into sleep. Your sleep was thin, hardly even deep enough to call proper sleep, but you finally woke up and got out of bed when you heard shouting down in the bottom of the house. You were used to that, but you still felt like you ought to make sure everything was alright, so you pulled yourself from bed and went about groggily getting ready for the day, slipping on a dress and spraying on perfume before descending the stairs.

The noise seemed to be coming from the back room, the ruined betting room, and you carefully pushed back the plush curtains and opened the doors to see a sight. Your eyes first landed on your husband, dressed in his old uniform. It certainly looked too small for him, tugging a little at his chest, but you clenched your teeth together at the sight. How long has it been since you saw him in the pea-soup-green uniform? Five years, at least. “Tommy,” you said softly. You couldn’t help yourself from stepping closer to him as his head snapped to look at you, and his hard gaze softened in the way it always did when he saw you. He never subjected you to his steely gaze, and, whenever you saw it, it always reminded you of what a feared man he was.

“Fuck, love, what’re you doing down here?” Tommy asked. “You’re supposed to be asleep still.”

“Heard shouting,” you said softly. The other men were bustling around the room as you smoothed your hands up Tommy’s chest, and your eyes went all watery again. “This isn’t happening, please, no.”

“What’s wrong?” Tommy asked. “Talk to me, darling, what’s the matter?”

“How long have you known?” you asked, sniffling. “Leaving us like this, how could you?”

“What?”

“The uniform, Tommy!” you cried. “You’re being called to the war again, why else would you have this shit on?”

Tommy grabbed your cheeks and kissed your forehead, and he angled your head to the side. Arthur stood there, behind a massive camera, angled at a blank space on the wall, and your breath caught in your throat. “What is this?” you asked.

“I’m not being called back,” Tommy explained. “I got to thinking about our wedding pictures, and I went to see the photographer who made them. He said the film was too old and that they couldn’t make you new copies, so the next best thing was to retake them.”

“Oh?” you asked. You sniffled and wiped your nose, and you gently reached out to touch the camera. “We… We’re retaking our wedding pictures?”

“With a few adjustments,” Tommy said. “Back then, I couldn’t afford to even get you so much as a bouquet, but now… Well, I took your measurements to a dress shop, and even though the dress was pre-made and only adjusted to you…”

“Tommy?” you whimpered.

“I got you a wedding dress, love,” Tommy told you. “Better than the flour-bag Sunday best that you had on.”

You gasped, covering your mouth with your hands, and you sobbed once before flying to your husband and crushing him in a hug. “Oh, Tommy!” you cried. “Thank you! Can I see it?”

“Pol’s got it in the kitchen,” Tommy told you. “Go put it on, why don’t you let me see it?”

The dress was beautiful. Eggshell-colored silk that fell below your knees with long sleeves and deep neckline, very fashionable and pretty, and it fit you like a glove as Polly helped you into it. She primped you a little, fixing your hair and patting red rouge onto your lips, and she upturned a vase next to the stove and handed you the bouquet of wildflowers that Thomasine had picked a few days earlier. You felt timid and almost nervous as Polly escorted you back to the betting room, and you cleared your throat once you passed the threshold, afraid that, if you spoke, your voice would give up on you.

Tommy looked to you in an instant, and he gave you a small smile as he stepped towards you. “Aren’t you a sight?” he said in his rumbling timbre, putting his hands on your hips, and he kissed your lips for a moment before he added, “Thomasine might get a brother before the day’s over, if you keep looking that beautiful.”

“Oh, shut up,” you giggled, and he steered you in front of the camera as you smoothed down your dress. You were suddenly nervous, and you clutched Tommy’s hand as Arthur cranked the camera, preparing it to go off. “Tom?”

“M’right here, pet,” Tommy said, squeezing your hand. “Just smile; everything will be fine.”

By the time night fell, you had a whole slew of new film, new pictures to replace the ruined ones. Recreations of your wedding pictures, an updated picture of a smiling Thomasine, even one of Tommy kissing you when the camera went off on accident. Thomasine was tangled in your skirts then, gazing up at her daddy, and you looked at the film as you sat by the fire that night, smiling and admiring it. That was your favorite memory; you, your husband, and your daughter, smiling, laughing, loving. It was perfect.

[amoosarte]

𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐋.𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒

SUMMARY ! in which a young Lando Norris falls head over heels for his sisters babysitter, then after some years later he finds her again! of course rushing in with old feelings.

FACECLAIM ! siennakitchener, TROPE ! ending up with your first love !

First love is something special, it symbolizes you first romantic feelings towards someone. It could mean many things for young girl, or maybe a young boy?

In this occasion, thirteen year old Lando was the special boy who's heart flutters when his sisters babysitter met him for the first time. He remembered the moment so well.

When someone would ask 'lando who was your first love?' he would love to describe that scene in full detail. His mother had called him to come into the kitchen, seeing his baby sister cassie in her feeding chair.

"yes mum?" His smile made herf attention shift towards him, making her sigh in content. "dear, there will be a babysitter coming soon, she's a good 2 years older than you!" His mother informed him, making him nod and look at his mother.

"Be a good boy and be nice to her." His mother ordered, making him look at her in disbelief. They both heard knocking in their double french doors, making his mother yip in excitement.

Lando must have thought it was a scene out of a fairytale, it felt like a gust of wind blew him off his feet. A fresh breeze of wind going through his hair, making his eyes wide. A classical boy romance reaction.

Her fine curly hair bouncing with her every step. Her casual outfit becoming a whole new style to Lando. "Lando, this is Monse!" Looking up to the fifteen year old in such aw and adoration made her giggle.

"Hello, pleased to meet you." She handed him her hand, leaving his shaky hand to grab it. "Hello." Lando felt his heart burst out of his ears, looking between his sister and the girl that would taking care of her.

One thing Lando loved about her was her sweet voice, bouncy curly hair, and her name. A rare one here where he lived, Monse. A name that could create millions of nicknames.

Momo, mon mon, mo and many more, making Lando smile about his future with her.

"Lan! Dinner!" Her head popped into the hallway that lead to the stairs, hearing his hurried steps chase after her. "What's on the menu?" His voice got a bit of a change, it had been a year.

Fourteen year old Lando still had eyes on his sisters babysitter, though it may have changed. "Just ham sandwiches." Monse put the plate right in front of him, then putting his baby sister on her high chair.

Placing a variety of chopped foods on her display, making the little girl giggle. Lando just munched on his food looking at both, making his heart flutter.

Seeing her take care of his baby sister was such a core memory of his past, a pretty memory,

It made his heart burn knowing that he was a highschool job only. They had been friends for such short period of time, 3 years. It felt short for Lando, the girl seemed to just be there his pre teen years.

Watching him develop into a youngman, something he didn't know how to feel. When she said her goodbyes to his family it made him break. It wasn't a sobbing type of heartbreak, it was like realization heartbreak.

She was on her way to collage, and he was a sophomore in high school. She was miles away, in a new environment, a new walkway to something, new people, new boys.. it was simple over. That's when his mother explained to him it was simply his first love.

Lando didn't get it, how could he love anyone else? She had made such an impact in his life. He prayed that she somehow was pulled into his life again, he made a promise.

No matter how long, he would be swept off his feet when he saw her again, making him fall in love again but with a chance of doing something this time.

To say if there was an award for being dedicated to someone's first love for so long, Lando would have won it by now. At the solid age of twenty-three, he met her again.

She was absolutely stunning, her curl were the same, her kind eyes were the same. It felt like he was frozen in time, standing on the podium, winning p2 at his home race.

Seeing his first love feet away from him, making him frozen in the moment. Snapping out of it when Max grabbed him, smiling for pictures drawing his attention back to her, only to see her gone.

He felt like his mind was playing tricks on him, only to find his sister clung to her side when his family went to congratulate him, she had many different features now. Her voice made him melt, it was the same.

"Lando!" She hugged him, making him hug her as tight. Her sweet vanilla scent making its way into his airways, making him high off oh her. "Monse, god it's been so long!" Lando was pouring out the truth.

"What a man you've grown to be!" Monse was displaying her proudness in her tone. The thirteen year old boy she grew up with was now a tall twenty-three year old, one that was living the best in life. Monse was proud.

"You as well.." His chocolate eyes looked at hers, making her giggle lightly. A cough interrupted them "How about you finish up here, and we go out to celebrate!" Oscar came out of nowhere.

"O piss off." Lando slightly pushed him as a joke, making the girl giggle. "Your mother is making dinner.." Monse smiled at the boy, making him nod quickly. "I'll be out in a minute."

"He's all about speed today." Oscar smiled looking at her, making her laugh. "What's your name?" He asked nicely, looking at the older gal in front of him. "Monse." She smiled.

That's when the conversations about her came flooding into his brain. Lando had a habit of confessing things when he was drunk, and she was always a topic of his. "Woah so we finally meet." Oscar smiled.

"Excuse me?"She asked sweetly, looking quite confused. "Nothing!" Lando was quick to cut the conversation quick. "See you at the after party Lan!" oscar laughed as he walked away, making the boy scoff.

"After party?" Monse smiled looking at him, He nodded. "Woah finally got invited to parties?" She smiled, loving the fact he grew out of the loner phase. "I've changed, i think." Lando laughed.

"Maybe you should come! I can introduce you to all of my friends!" Lando got all excited seeing her nod and saying 'sure'. Maybe something would happen tonight?

Something did in fact happened, Lando was separated the whole time from her. The club was having the scent of sweat and cheap perfume and alcohol. His figure trying to look for hers, seeing her being harassed by a guy.

"Cmon! lets not do things the hard way!" He teased as he leaned more and more, then was harshly moved by Lando. "She said she wasn't interested." His hand putting some distance between them, making the dude scoff and walk away.

"You okay?" Lando smiled at Monse while she stared at him in just delight. "You turned out fine." She smiled caressing his face, smiling how this boy she somewhat grew up with turned out fine. "What?"lando shook his head trying to make his feeling go away.

"C'mon lets catch up!" Monse smiled asking the bartender for a drink, making Lando follow her to sit on the bar stools. "So how was high school?" She asked, making the boy think about his question. "It was quick and quiet, nothing special.." Lando asked for a drink as well.

"No girl?" Monse giggled meaning it as a joke, but for Lando it was something he never thought about. "ha no.." He smiled just thinking about it, most of his teen years he would think about meeting her again.

What he would be wearing, how he would look like, maybe plan what to day out, but overall his thoughts came true, and he was happy it was the day that meant something. "Actually there's this girl.." Lando smiled fondly. "Oh!"

-who is she?"Monse smiled at his face, making Lando look at her. "She's a girl that's two years older than me!" Lando laughed, making Monse scoff. "That's totally normal Lando!" She wacked him on the head.

"You think so?" He smiled, taking a gulp from his strong drink. "I mean you love her?" He nodded. "Then go for it." Monse played with his curls and laughed.

Lando felt sad, but not sad sad, just a soft panic knowing he could get rejected at any times. Maybe rejection was something he needed to move on from her.. but it was something he didn't want to happen.

Lando felt drunk maybe because he was, fuck he did stupid things when he was drunk. Monse was just a few feet away dancing her heart out. He was somewhat just looked at he, thinking.

Lando again does many things when he was drunk, grabbing her hand and ushering her in a room. "Lando what's wrong?" Monse questioned, making him bite his lip back. "What would you do If i were tell you I was in deeply in love with that girl?" He rambled out.

Monse looked at the boy in confusion. "I would congratulate you?"

The sentence made his groan in frustration. Lando did stupid things when he was drunk. Just like he was now an inch apart from her, making her look up at him. Monse had something stuck in her throat, made her feel nervous.

"Lando?" She asked quietly making him groan. "Why do you that?"He whispered. “What?” Monse looked up. "I like you."

Monse was quiet, his brown sugary eyes were low, and he was just looking at her. Like his whole worlds revolved around her, his gaze just on her. "I like you." His voice was tiny and was just above a whisper.

"Why?" It seemed like it was the only thing that she could say. "You swept me off my feet the first day I met you." Lando was quick to say, like as if he was waiting for a moment to say it. "lando you were thirteen, i was fifteen." Monse smiled, making the boy frown.

"so?"Lando's lips held a pout, Monse's eyes creased fondly. "are you rejecting me?" Lando's voice was small, they were having a moment in the room. Monse was debating it to be honest.

"I don't think so.." She whispered, making him refocus his attention on her. "so are you giving me a chance?" He felt himself smile, watching her nod. His eyes wandered to her lips that were tinted with red.

it was safe to say that her lips were soft, so alike to the ones in his dream. he thought it was a dream but they were there fitting absolutely perfect on his.

The scene itself felt like it was forbidden, Lando and Monse felt like it was just them. Then he leaned in for a second kiss, Its funny how a innocent kiss can turn into a heated one.

Lando never thought about having such a intimate moment he fell in love with but he wasn't complaining. It wasn't Monse's first time doing something so sexual, but with him it felt right.

Lando was happy, and she knew. "I'm happy you took my first kiss." Lando smiled making her freak out. "First kiss?!" She thought that he somewhat had experience because why was he so good at kissing?

"Mon Mon, you've been my first everything, First kiss and first love, hopefully maybe first more to come." Lando's tone became sweet then flirtatious, making her bright red.

Lando loved that his first love, loved him back.

MENTIONS ! @landitolover, @moneygramhaas, @d6za1, @ch3rryknots

𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉, ⟢ more!

[imtryingbuck]

Two

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n L/n becomes Queen of Astoria not that she wanted to. Prince James of Winterfeld meets her and falls in love.

Word count: 1,893

Warnings: angst. fluff. mentions of being barren. mentions of hunting.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

Sitting in the chair that her father had been sitting in only two months prior with a crown sitting upon her head that she was surprised her neck had not yet broke with the weight of the thing, she tried not to wince at the pinching of the corset.

She had been crowned as the rightful heir to the throne and was now Queen. The whole hall erupted into cheers and chants, “Long live the Queen” and “The warrior Queen” hit her ears as she sat with her back straight. The knights all bent their knee to her - Carlson in front of them all, smiling up at her as he pledged his allegiance to her. She saw the scowl coming from Sir Jon as he nursed his ale, she smiled at him just to piss him off a little extra.

The celebration was loud with music and chatter from those in the hall, the smell in the air was intoxicating with food and ale - a lot of that was going to the floor as the guests danced. Everyone including her mother, sisters and Carlson were laughing and dancing, celebrating their new Queen. 

But Y/n, she just couldn’t find it in herself to join in the festivities she just wanted to be left alone or preferably in the woods training with Carlson and some of the other men, or better yet she wished that she was far away from the kingdom as she could possibly get. Looking around slowly making sure no eyes were on her as they were to busy dancing and having conversations amongst themselves, she stood and walked out of the side door. She found herself out in the private courtyard that only her family were allowed to be in, she took the crown off releasing a content and relieved sigh. The cold air soothed the ache of her chest as she looked up to the darkened sky smiling as the stars twinkled.

“Should have known you were going to try and run away. Ah, see you do not startle easily anymore.”

“I could smell you before I heard your boring voice.” She replied still staring up at the stars. “And do you see me running? The answer is no.”

“Listen here, you should have respect for your elders-“ he barked as he moved closer to her.

“I am not the same thirteen year old who was terrified of you, matter of fact I am more scared of a butterfly than I am of you.”

“You should not even be queen!”

Turning to face the man she had known all her life, the man who taught her how to play chess, the same man who would sneak some extra cake slices onto her plate when her parents weren’t watching. “Why shouldn’t I? I am the first born, my father never had a son, so why should I not be queen?”

“You are rotten. You are a barren bitch, what use are you if you cannot have an heir? You are best to work in the whore house-“

“Along with your mistress? I would rather not hear how dull you are at sex, thank you.”

“Y-you have no idea what you are talking about!”

“No? Red head, big tits, pretty face? A stark contrast from your wife, I must say.”

“Rotten you are-“

“So you have already said.”

“Barren bitch whose only deeming qualities lay on the battle field.”

“Again, you already called me that and also a battle field you have not seen in so many years, too busy hiding behind my father. And may I remind you of who you are talking to? I am the Queen, do not like that fact? Go and jump off the cliff, I will be sure to keep your wife and mistress safe and looked after.”

“You-you- wh-“

“You are embarrassing yourself now. You keep forgetting your station and I will end up removing more than your tongue. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes… my Queen.”

“Very good. Run along and leave me in peace.”

“What happened to you? The little girl I knew was nice, sweet and had a heart of gold. Where did that little girl go?” Jon asked her with his hand on the door knob.

“She died the moment you dragged her off that boat. Goodnight Jon.”

Hearing the door slam close she gulped a large breath of air, trying her hardest to keep her heart rate down. She wasn’t scared of him but she did know how dangerous he could be, she had seen it with her own two eyes. When Y/n was younger she use to sit upon a tree stump with her knees pulled up to her chest and watched in fascination as Jon trained the other warriors, she watched in awe of how fast he was though he had years added on to those he was training. And although Jon was friendly and sweet to her she had seen him do things that gave her nightmares or would be afraid to go near him for a few days after. The Jon that stood in front of her just then, calling her those names, wasn’t the same man she had grown up with.

She didn’t know why he was so against something that she didn’t even ask for, he should have taken it out on her father and not her.

“Jon said I could find you here, old man is too busy drowning his sorrows in the corner- hey what is wrong?”

“Nothing. Go back and enjoy your night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You are freezing, come back inside Y/n/n.”

“Would you marry Anna?” She asked changing the subject.

“No. She’s a pretty girl but I do not view her in that way, why?”

“What about my other sisters?”

“No Y/n, what is going on?”

“If you married my sister I could abdicate from the throne and hand it over to you two, and then the kingdom would have a King and a Queen that would have heirs and I could leave and I-I could be happy, I could be free.”

Carlson stood there frozen listening to his friends words, he had half a mind to go back into the hall and attack Jon knowing for sure that he had said something to her for her to be thinking of such things. “You will find a husband of your choosing, hopefully it would be a marriage of love and have your own child-“

“I cannot have them and you know that.”

“You do not know that though. Your father told you that when you was a child Y/n, he was wrong about many of things - he is wrong about this too.”

“I will find a suitable prince for one of the girls-“

“Y/n-“

“I do not want this life Carlson, I never have. And I am not ashamed to admit that I am scared.”

Wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into him, he whispered. “I know. I know you do not want this but I believe in you, I know you will be the best Queen anyone will ever know. I am sorry but this is your life, and please know I will be right by your side every step of the way. I will not allow you to fail or to fall, this I swear to you.”

For the first time since she was sixteen years of age when she was made to take part of the annual hunt and forced by her father to take the life of an innocent deer, she cried. Gripping tightly of Carlson’s shirt she let everything go, the loss of her life, the loss of her fathers life, her stepmother life ending so soon, the unfairness of the life she had to live when she did not want it. She cried and cried until there was nothing left for her to give.

“Queen Y/n.” Her personal servant bowed as the young girl entered her chambers.

“Larissa, how are you?”

“I-I am very well my queen, how are you?”

“Good, have you eaten today?”

“I have not but-“

“Come sit with me, and enjoy some food. I fear the cooks have given me more than enough.” She sees the hesitation in the young girl’s movements, Y/n pushes a chair out and pats on the seat giving her an encouraging smile.

“Th-thank you my Grace.”

“Do not need to thank me, eat as much as you can”

Larissa was not use to this. She thought at first that she was to be the tester to make sure no one had tried to poison the queen, finding herself frowning when Y/n digs into the food before she does. Larissa had always admired Y/n growing up, always finding herself smiling then she would hear the Princess laughing, when she would have the duty to collect herbs from the woods she would see Y/n fighting against men who were bigger in height and weight to her and would always silently cheer on the Princess and finding herself chuckling to herself when she would win against her opponents. Never in her life did she think she would be handpicked to serve her queen directly, and now here she was eating a breakfast fit for royalty, answering questions that Y/n asked, mind and heart racing as her queen actually paid attention to her words.

The bubble burst for the two of them when a knock came from the door, Larissa goes to stand up but Y/n’s hand came into contact with her arm, “it’s okay. Come in.”

“My Queen.”

“Mother, how are you? Would you like to join me and Larissa to eat? There’s plenty to go around.”

“I have already eaten, but thank you.”

“Your loss. What is it?”

“I need to speak to you, privately, please.” Larissa nods and stands, bowing to the two women she leaves quickly.

“What is wrong?”

Y/n watched as her mother take the seat that Larissa had been occupying, her fingers tugging at the flow of her dress - something she tended to do when she was nervous. A habit she herself had taken up. “Please, please do not be mad.”

“What has happened?”

“Y/n, you need a husband and you know it. You need an heir and that is just how it is, you need to marry in order to have them.”

“Mother, you know-“

“Your father was being a foolish angry man, he did not mean it.”

“But what is he was? What if I am barren and I cannot give my husband what is required of me? I do not, no, I know I cannot go through what you went through. I will not do it, it is not fair on me, the man or the other woman. Please mother, please just drop this. I will figure something out.”

There was a deafening silence that followed her words, mother and daughter just staring at each other waiting for someone to speak. Y/n truly wished she had just bid farewell and left her own chambers to go and train with Carlson even though she knew she had other obligations to attend.

Her mother smiled sadly at her and whispered the words that Y/n had been dreading to hear ever since she was a child.

“I have found you a husband.”

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[alexanderwales]

Pitchposting: Generation Ship

(Pitchposting is a way of giving away ideas that threaten to grow in my mind until they become draft documents. They are free to a good home, though there's no guarantee that I won't try to write them at some point.)

Alright, hear me out: it's a generation ship, one expected to reach its destination with an entirely new generation of people who never knew the homeland, except instead of being a scifi concept, we're doing it as mundane as possible.

I think this is one of those ideas that only appeals to me because I immediately start thinking about the logistics of it all, and there's something in the mundane, gritty realism that really appeals to me. Mostly I'm worldbuilding and problem solving, trying to get at what it would actually be like for people to have been at sea their entire lives, to have a ship that either needs to endure the waves or be rebuilt as it goes.

I was going to say that this needs to be fantasy, but I guess technically it can be an Alderson Disk or something. An Alderson Disk has a habitable circumference of approximately a billion kilometers, a sailing ship can go maybe eighty miles a day, that's a ballpark of 12.5 million days to circumnavigate the disk, which is 34,000 years. That's a hell of a lot of generations, twice as long as we've had agriculture. (But you could also just have it be a fantasy world that's larger than our own, with a generation ship that was only trying to flee to greener pastures that are a hundred years away.)

The purest version of this story is a world that's just water, to match the void of space. The ship sails, repairs are made from flotsam and jetsam and driftwood from unspecified places, rainwater is caught and put into barrels, pitch is used for patching, fish and kelp are hauled up from the ocean, birds are captured from the sky, and the ship must necessarily endure storms and swells.

I've always felt there was something compelling about constrained living situations, places where everyone knows everyone and you have to make it work because there's absolutely no way out — where you're on a knife's edge because there's only so much preparation you can do. A generation ship needs to think about absolutely all of its needs and how it will deal with the deterioration of all things over time, along with problems that might only crop up once every hundred years, or problems that won't become apparent until long after the ship has left the dock.

Let's say you have a sailing ship the size of one of the largest sailing vessels of the 19th century, a thousand people all told. The families are carefully braided to prevent accidental incest, everyone has their position in life, every master has at least one apprentice but probably more so gout or cancer don't eliminate the last person who knew how to make more pitch.

This is clearly an Idea story, one that starts with a ridiculous premise and then explores it, but one of my favorite things about idea stories is finding the characters and the conflicts within them. For a generation ship, the biggest, most obvious conflict is the conflict between generations: the old people who once knew dry land, the middle generation who will likely die before the destination is reached, and the children who will be the beneficiaries of all this travel.

We have a woman who was born to the sea, who loves the sea, who loves the travel and takes great joy in knowing that she's probably not going to see the end of it until she's ancient. We have the grizzled sailor who's nearly risen to the rank of captain and sees the whole mission as utter foolishness. A boy of thirteen who is obsessed with writing stories about the land they've set off toward and keeps his telescope on the horizon, hoping that the predictions were off, that they're somehow two decades early. A girl of sixteen who doesn't feel suited to the marriage that's planned for her, who is secretly in love with her best friend. A scientist who has been quietly advancing the state of knowledge with every new fish brought up from the deeps.

And then there's the plot, which there are so, so many options for. I would start the novel with simple sailing, a few chapters of the daily routine, the personalities, their petty fights with each other, and the stress of being in the middle of unfathomably deep waters whose depths are only glimpsed when the nets bring up something new. Then ... an island, another ship, sea creatures that have a glimmer of intelligence, a storm that makes the ship limp, spoilage that threatens starvation unless drastic action is taken, a political squabble that might bring all the plans crashing down.

Maybe it's a book about being trapped by the past, or about hanging on by what feels like a delicate thread, or about how systems are fragile and careful thinking and brave leadership are the only things that will get us through.

Mostly I think I want to be a geek about a ship that needs to survive in the ocean for a hundred years, and I do not have the time to write this novel, not when there are so many other novels to write.