#(my Wii is still at my Mum's house down South so I will have to wait until the end of October to play Radiant Dawn again

[help-who-am-i]

Have you ever played golf? I went to the driving range a couple of times with my dad when we were younger and have played mini golf before, but I don’t recall playing a real game of golf.  Is there a lake near your house? Sadly not. What was the last TV show you watched an episode of? Star Trek: The Next Generation. Do you like beer? If so, what’s your favorite brand? No. What color is your favorite fruit? I don’t have a favourite - too many taste so good! How often do you update your Facebook status? Never. When was the last time you went to the supermarket? Yikes... a long while ago. I’m currently living with my family and mum is a superhero who organises the shopping each week (click & collect). Have you ever been pulled over for speeding? No, I’ve been caught by speed cameras but have never been pulled over. What was the last thing you ate? Onion bhaji. Do you feel bad when you throw food out? Yes, of course! I try my best not to be wasteful, but I’m not quite at ‘turning leftover banana peel into bacon’ yet. Seriously, it’s a thing! What’s your favorite sort of pasta? I really like tagliatelle.  What do you think about the new Apple Watch? I didn’t even know about it (I don’t follow news). Have you ever been on a log flume ride? Yes. What was the last wedding you attended? I think it was my uncle’s, which was at least ten years ago. I don’t care for weddings. Are you religious? What do you believe in? No, I’m agnostic. What’s your favorite thing about the weekend? Currently I’m not working much at all, so my favourite thing about the weekend is that other people in the household tend to go out of the house more often (meaning that I sometimes get the house to myself). How often do you go to the drive-thru? Not often at all anymore; I prefer to cook my own food and occasionally order food to be delivered. Do you know anyone who’s lived through a natural disaster? Yes, several people who have experienced hurricanes/tornadoes from the US or south-east Asia. How do you feel right now? Surprisingly OK; a little bit lonely. Also a little hungry, but I need to lose weight, so I’m trying to resist. Have you ever tried to make risotto? No, I find risotto quite sickly for some reason, so it wouldn’t be a dish that I’d choose to cook. What does your favorite perfume/cologne smell like? Fruity. How many brothers/sisters do you have? One brother. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? Several years ago. I use an epilator to shave off leg hairs now. The ‘tash gets tweezered and occasionally removed with a razor. Have you ever broken a window, intentionally or not? No. How far do you think you can run? I can’t quantify it but I’m quite sure the answer is ‘not very far at all’. I’m so unfit, send help! What is your favorite video game? There are so many fantastic video games out there which are all uniquely amazing within their own right. I really couldn’t choose just one favourite. 

Here are my more recently played favourites (within the past three years): Red Dead Redemption 2, Kingdom Come: Deliverance, Dragon Age 1-3, Mass Effect 1-3, Witcher 3, Shadow of Mordor, Shadow of War. 

Here are my old favourites: Pokemon (especially Emerald and Fire Red),  Animal Crossing: Wild World, Dog’s Life, Gallop Racer 2, Mario Kart Wii, Animal Crossing: City Folk, Red Dead Redemption, RuneScape (now OldSchool), Horse Isle 2 (now Eternal), Sims 3, Zoo Tycoon 2.   Do you know anyone who uses a wheelchair? No. Have you ever made your own pizza or pasta dough? Yes, with help, when I was younger. It’s something I’d really like to try in the near future. What’s your favorite fast food place? Wagamama! The vegatsu curry and mushroom bao buns are to die for. When was the last time you went out for a meal? Oh, yikes... not for quite some time. I don’t really miss it though; covid kind of helped me to check myself and change a few old unhealthy eating habits.

Can you sing? Yes and no. Can I answer with that? If I’m really feeling the song and my voice is OK, then yes. If I’m not feeling it and my voice is acting up then no, God no. Do you wear a watch? I try to remember to, but I often forget. Sometimes I like the pressure on my wrist - I find that it helps to keep me calm. Other times I find the pressure really irritating and have to take it off. Have you ever watched an entire season of a TV show in one day? I have not; I tip my hat to people who have. It’s a superpower! Lord knows how they keep their attention focussed for so long. What did you have for dinner tonight (or last night)? Chickpea and coconut curry (with the onion bhajis). Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? What would you have done? Not now, no. There was a time when I was considering having my nose made smaller. Have you used the app Yik Yak? No, I have never heard of it. Do you like shrimp? I like most animals, but spiders, ants and some flying insects still freak me out (I’m working on it). Shrimp are pretty cute. The peacock mantis shrimp is awesome! They can punch with the speed of a .22 calibre bullet, according to the American Museum of Natural History website. Tell me three of your favorite movies. Fast & Furious, Lord of the Rings, Ace Ventura. Are you lactose intolerant? Probably... I used to consume dairy, but I don’t any more, so I will probably feel unwell if I consume it again. Have you ever been in a car accident? If hitting a deer counts, then yes. Poor fella... I was driving home from an early morning survey for work, so I was pretty tired. It was a dark country road bordered on either side by deep ditches, dense shrubbery and woodland. I did an emergency stop, but the bumper of my car still bumped the deer in the process of stopping. I didn’t see where they went, so I assume that they darted off into the forest. I nearly caused another accident as I was driving away because I was still processing the shock (nearly let my car slip down the side ditch), but I managed to redirect the wheels in time.

What color shirt are you wearing right now? Blue. Do you know how to play poker? No, I got the hang of it once, but I haven’t played in so long that I’ve forgotten. Who is your favorite superhero? Hulk or Falcon; I’m leaning slightly more towards Falcon.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

uroboros, the eternal return (part one)

the first installment of the foster AU. the AU as a whole will be called “Ouroboros” (because i thought i was real clever with how it fit so well) and it’s going to be a series of either one-shots or multi-chapters, like this one! i hope you enjoy this adventure :)

TW: Mentioned/referenced child abuse, skin picking, accidental self harm

——————

-A Serpent Biting Its Tail-

   “Katherine? Can I talk to you for a moment?”

The girl in question looks up from the book she was reading and nodded at her mother, who took a seat beside her on the couch.

   “Yeah! What’s up?”

   “What do you think about having a sister?”

Well, she cut right to the chase.

Katherine blinked a few times, toiling over what had been said to her. Then, she spoke:

   “You’re pregnant?”

Immediately, Jane was laughing and she quickly waved a hand in the air.

   “No! Oh, no, Kat, I’m not-” She snorts and covered her mouth with her hand, which makes Katherine start to giggle, too. “I’m not pregnant. What I mean is that I’m going to foster another girl.”

It’s been four years since Katherine’s adoption. Jane remembered when she first met the girl, who was thirteen and jittery. Looking at her now, she couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride in her chest. Now, at the age of seventeen, she’s really grown since then.

   “Oh!” Katherine perked up, which really helped to relieve Jane’s fears, “Oh, that’s so cool!”

   “So you don’t mind?”

   “Not at all, mum! Besides, it’s not my choice, anyway.”

And so, it was settled.

A week later is when the girl arrived, on a late Friday evening after school.

Joan looked as though she was shattered and pieced back together several times. Her eyes were dull orbs of grey-green, which would have looked so beautiful if they had any life left in them. Blonde hair is cut unevenly, but combed as nicely as possible. She doesn’t look up when the front door is open.

   “Hello, Cassandra,” Jane greeted the social worker accompanying the newest Seymour, “And hello there, lovely.”

Joan glanced up when she heard the pet name. Jane’s smile was warm, but she couldn’t trust it, so she looked back down, only offering a quiet, “Hi.”

   “She’s a little shy,” Cassandra said, squeezing Joan’s shoulder reassuringly.

   “I would be, too,” Jane said dismissively. “Come in! It’s cold out there!”

The house is clean, almost spotless. Joan wondered about how long it took to clean up for her arrival. She also wondered about what it looked like normally, when an intruder wasn’t coming over to stay for god knows how long. If her many suitcases were any indication, then she would probably find out what this place was really like.

The Seymour resident was very cozy, something Joan was almost dismayed about. She had been hoping the house was trashy so she wouldn’t have to stay there. It would be considered inhuman to leave a child in a dump (although that was proven wrong by her fifth family....).

But it wasn’t. Fall decor made the entrance and living room look so colorful and warm. There was a fire going in the fireplace, with a black cat and a tortoiseshell curled up on a green cat bed nearby. A grey pit bull puppy bounded up to greet them.

Joan thought her social worker and this Jane woman were expecting her to flinch, as it was a pit bull charging at her, but she didn’t (she almost WANTED to get bitten...and maybe even bleed out for good). She looked at Jane for permission before kneeling down to pet the dog.

   “His name is Creature,” Jane informed.

Joan nodded and stood back up, smoothing her shirt. Jane called for someone named Katherine and, a few moments later, a teenager came walking down the stairs. This must have been her new sister.

She was tall. That’s the first thing Joan’s useless crow brain noted, but then it noticed the unnatural color of hair. The teenager’s hair was dyed pink at the tips, which almost gave her punk vibes, but her eyes were sincere, if not a little bit feisty. She seemed to be nice enough.

   “Hey,” She said, approaching the pair of newcomers, “I’m Katherine!”

   “Joan,” Joan replied and shook Katherine’s hand.

   “Those two are Midna and Medli,” Katherine nodded at the pair of cats.

   “Oh- like the Zelda character?”

Katherine whipped her head back around, which makes Joan jump a little. She smiled widely.

   “Yeah! You play?”

   “Yeah,” Joan admitted sheepishly, “One of my other families had a Wii, so... Twilight Princess was amazing.”

   “Wasn’t it?” Katherine exclaimed, “It was SO GOOD!”

Jane couldn’t help but smile when the two girls started to talk to each other. It made her happy that they might get along, but she also noticed the way Joan fidgeted and scratched her nails fervently against her fingertips.

   “Katherine, why don’t you show Joan to her new room?” Jane suggested so she could talk to Cassandra and Katherine nodded, leading the younger girl up the staircase.

It was an awkward descent, as barely any words were shared. Joan was shown a room that was sparsely furnished, clearly meaning to be a temporary room for guests and not an actual bedroom. Still, it was nice.

   “You don’t talk much, huh?”

Joan turned around quickly while she was looking around to look at Katherine, who was leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyebrows were raised.

   “Umm... I guess so,” Joan mumbled, turning back to the bed, which she ran her palms over several times. “Sorry.”

   “Don’t apologize,” Katherine said. “We’ll get to know each other soon. You seem cool, Jo!”

Joan furrowed her eyebrows at the nickname, but didn’t refuse it. She almost felt a giddy feeling bloom in her chest.

It didn’t last long when she reminded herself that she didn’t belong there.

After Katherine left to give her some space, Joan roots through her backpack for her phone charger and plugs it in before flopping down on the bed. She made the decision that she wasn’t going to unpack straight away, just in case things went south quickly. Maybe by the end of tonight they’d have enough of her.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

   “Joan?” Cassandra knocks on the door a little bit later, pushing it open. “I’m going to leave now.”

   “Okay.”

The social worker steps into the room, sitting on the end of Joan’s bed. There’s a moment of silence between them, not unlike during the car ride there, but the woman eventually speaks up.

   “I know you’re disappointed, hurt, and scared. You have every right to be,” She said, “But I promise you that this time it’ll be different. They’ve been waiting for you for a week and--”

   “A week?” Joan repeats in a whisper, “You mean you’ve known about this whole thing for a week but you didn’t bother to tell me?! You just thought that it would be a good idea to tell me that things aren’t working out on the same day that you take me to a new placement?”

   “I didn’t realize until I came to pick you up that you didn’t know what was going on,” Cassandra said, “They said they’d told you.“

Joan shook her head. She pulled her quivering bottom lip in between her teeth and bit down hard. Tears burned her eyes and she did her best to blink her away.

   “It’s never different, Cassie,” She whispered, “You’re a liar.”

Cassandra doesn’t say anything. She can’t blame the poor kid for thinking that way. This was her eleventh family in her young life of fifteen years- those numbers would break down anyone.

   “I’m so sorry, Joan.” The woman finally said. She leaned over and gently kissed the top of the girl’s head, which makes her whimper a little, “You’ll be okay. I promise.”

Joan can’t believe her.

———

        Joan knew that what she was doing wasn't good for her, watching blood slowly bubble up from where her nails had dug into another itchy scab. A compulsion, one of her many doctors (they switch a lot depending on family) had tried to explain to whatever her guardian was once, it's in her brain.  

Joan knew they couldn't understand. They never did. Most of her families thought it was gross, mainly her younger or female siblings. She didn’t blame them.

Lying in bed that night, on the first night at the Seymour residence, was like waiting on death row. She was anxious, tossing and turning constantly. She wanted to turn the lights on- she never liked the dark- but she was afraid of being yelled at for it. It wouldn’t be the first time.

That’s when her finger twitched and the itch arose.

Well, if nothing else was going to calm her down...

Almost as soon as her attention turned to her left arm, up near the shoulder where it would be hidden by her sleeves, her nails were digging into the edges of a scab. The one furthest up on her arm currently, from when she had gotten into a nasty tussle with her old siblings three days ago (maybe that’s why they got rid of her) and somehow gotten a scratch deep enough to bleed. Joan gritted her teeth against the dull pain, as the old scab came off in flakes, and new blood welled around her nail. The ones that flaked annoyed Joan the most, and she bared her teeth at the smearing blood, determined to scratch the entire old scab out. There was one stubborn bit, clinging to the edge of healthy skin, unwilling to be scratched out of existence, but Joan’s determination was stronger than a tiny scab bit, and it eventually conceded defeat, surrendering to the nail of Joan’s middle finger. She let out a triumphant hum, before leaning further down her arm.

That's how she continued, for a little while, scratching and picking and plucking and grating. It felt...good. Familiar. Perfect. The anxiety quieted down as she carved fresh wounds in her flesh.

Perhaps this night wouldn’t be so bad after all...

———

     Joan was...different, the Seymour’s had to admit.

She was shut in, had a personal space bubble as big as the perimeter of the moon, and seemed to have a life goal of being as secretive as possible.

But if she wasn’t brilliant. The girl was intelligent and very well-mannered, despite barely ever speaking any words. She wasn’t like the foster kids you see on media who yell at their temporary parents or hated living with the new family, rather just dealing with it quietly. She never argued over anything requested of her, not that Jane or Katherine ask much. Even so, she quickly took to doing things like the dishes and got flustered if caught.

Joan just made it so goddamn hard to be mad at. Not intentionally; she just had the docile appearance of a baby sheep that you just couldn’t yell at. It was like hunting in the woods and you come across a gentle doe, but you can’t bring yourself to shoot her.

Not only was Joan soft, she was also a good tenant. She was quiet and never asked of much. Hell, she didn’t even go near Katherine’s room unless invited.

Then again, it’s only been three days. Things could change once the grace period was over.

Monday morning, Joan had to get registered for school, which meant she ended up walking in on the middle of first period.

When she opened the door and peeked in, she almost regretted it and considered fleeing. The teacher stopped talking and turned to look at her with her eyebrows raised. Everyone was staring at this point and Joan knew she couldn’t run now. She pulled herself into the classroom and held out a slip of paper.

   “I’m new,” She said as confidently as possible, but there was definitely a wobble in her voice. “I was getting registered.”

The teacher took the paper and scanned it over.

   “I’m Joan Meutas, ma’am,” She thrusts her hand out, which the teacher was pleasantly surprised about. They shook hands.

   “Mrs. Saunders,” The teacher said and then allows Joan to go take a seat. She ends up sitting down by a strikingly beautiful brunette girl with piercing blue eyes, but she quickly stamped down those feelings.

If her ninth house had taught her anything, it’s that she should always keep her sexuality a secret.

However, apparently she was ogling a little too much because she was confronted about it at lunch. It wasn’t mean, it wasn’t loud, it wasn’t noticed by a ton of people, rather a quick affair with absolutely no homophobic things said, it just...

In that moment, nothing could compare to the pain in Joan’s stomach- a hot ball of shame. She slammed the bathroom stall door shut and gasped, feeling so weak and vulnerable. She desperately wanted to stop crying, but no matter how hard she squeezed her shoulders, the tears just would not stop.

She dug her fingernails into her forearms and cried. She shuddered and sobbed in that stall for a long time, rocking back and forth on her knees. Dizziness shattered her skull like a sledgehammer against her temples. Her eyes screwed shut when everything around her started to spin, making her wooziness worse. Her nails grazed over the flesh on her arm. Her skin prickles and she grits her teeth, scratching to try and satisfy the itch.

It doesn’t work. In fact, it made her feel worse. Joan wanted to die right then and there. She considered drowning herself in the sink.

Then, the door opened and closed, and someone walked in. Joan tensed up and held her breath.

   “Hello? Is anyone in here?”

Joan doesn’t know what made her get up, but she did, for some reason, and wrestled her robe back on. After wiping her eyes and making herself look somewhat less pathetic, she pushed open the stall door and looked out.

A girl was standing out there, obviously. It was the girl’s bathroom after all.

She had frizzy, curly hair that made her look like a lion, but her eyes were sweet. She’s a little taller than Joan and looks slightly older, maybe by a year, but they’re both in the same grade. She remembers seeing her in her second period.

When she sees her, she smiled warmly, obviously trying to let her know she wasn’t a threat.

   “Hey,” She said.

   “Shouldn’t you be at lunch?” Joan points out, stepping out of the stall fully and crossing her arms over her chest. She’s trying to seem cool and collective, but the way she had to lean against the wall and the tear stains down her cheeks betrays what she wants.

   “Yeah,” The girl replied, laughing a little, “I’m Maria de Salinas.”

Joan wrinkles her nose. She doesn’t understand what she’s trying to do or what she wants.

Like there’s sand in her throat, she coughs and then laughs dryly, pain grating down the muscles in her neck like claws of ice.

   “Listen,” She grits out, carving bloody half-moons in her palms with her fingernails, “I don’t know what you want, but I’m sorry for looking at your friend. If you’re going to hit me, can you just get it over with?”

A seriously concerned look crosses Maria’s face. She stared at Joan in shocked silence before shaking her head.

   “I would never.” She said.

Joan raised an eyebrow before daring to move off the wall. She wants to flee and hide somewhere, away from everyone.

   “Yeah, okay,” She muttered through her busted lips.

   “It’s true!” Maria said, following her with her eyes.

Joan snorted lightly at that.

Maria tilted her head at her. She’s very pale, and the younger girl looks more dead than alive at this point, broken down by something Maria wasn’t aware of just yet. When she notices her swaying, she gently grabs Joan by the arm and guides her back over to the wall.

   “You’re Joan Meutas, yes?” She questioned.

   “Unfortunately,” She answered in a drained, tired voice. “Why are you doing this?”

   “I’m being nice,” Maria states, “You look like you need a friend. You seemed lonely in second. And I saw you run in here crying, so...”

Joan’s ears burned and she dips her head. She tried to tell her that maybe Maria was genuinely trying to be nice, but she couldn’t trust anyone anymore.

She was still for a moment before trying to jerk away. It sends her reeling, temples throbbing, skin burning, vision blurring. Hands grasp her forearms and steadies her. She doesn’t look at Maria, keeping her head bowed. Her breathing is audible and shaky. She wants to tell her to let go of her, but she suddenly can’t get enough air into her lungs.

Maria notices.

   “Easy, easy,” She coaches gently, “Take a deep breath. Like me. Try following along with me. Just breathe me with. It’s going to be okay.”

Joan tried, doing pretty well aside from the fact that she stuttered on her breathing and forced more air into her already full lungs. Her chest stings in disagreement and she exhales, though it comes out sounding more like a wheeze.

   “Why are you doing this for me?” She croaked.

   “Hun, look at me. Do I really look like the kind of person who will judge you for crying?”

Joan looks up and Maria’s eyebrows are raised. She sniffles.

   “Well… I don’t know.” She shrugged and the older girl laughed slightly.

She leans back a little, shifting her weight onto one leg. It still feels like pins and needles are raining down on her skin, but it’s a little bit easier to ignore with Maria around. She doesn’t know why.

   “Thanks,” She said, picking at some lint on her jacket, “For coming in here, I mean.”

   “No problem, love.”

Maria eases an arm around her shoulder, which she actually allows, and she smiled a little before hissing in between her teeth. The curly-haired girl thinks she’s done something wrong and goes to pull away, but Joan grabs her by the wrist and keeps herself securely in her embrace.

   “I left all my stuff in the cafeteria when I ran out,” She clarified with a sigh, “I have to go get it.”

She goes to move, but, this time, it’s Maria who keeps the embrace going.

   “Joey, if I may,” He said, “Are you really sure you should be going back out there? If you were crying in a school bathroom, I bet whatever happened wasn’t good.”

  “I’m really over exaggerating what happened... It doesn’t matter.”

Maria makes a small, disgruntled noise, but doesn’t stop her. Instead, she goes along with her.

   “You didn’t have to come.” Joan said.

   “Joey,” Maria clipped, “I’m going.”

And Joan couldn’t help but smile a little more at that.

———

      School feels safer than home and Joan doesn’t know why. Maybe because school is brutally honest. People make it known that they don’t like you, not hide it from you. Although it hurt, Joan preferred it that way. She rather be told out front that she wasn’t wanted rather than someone acting like that actually wanted her around.

Joan is mostly silent as she pokes at her dinner. She’s sure Jane is staring at her with a disgruntled expression because she was being so picky, but she wasn’t completely sure as her head was angled down towards the table.

   “Joan,” Jane eventually started and Joan couldn’t help but tense up, “I was cleaning your room today. I wanted to ask why there was blood on your sheets.”

Joan was paralyzed. Her hands clenched around her fork and she didn’t dare look up.

   “Is something wrong, honey?” Jane asked gently, “Are you hurt? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Because she was scared. Scared of bothering Jane, scared of being yelled at, scared of being told that if she wanted pain, then it could be inflicted on her.

   “Joan?” Jane called out when she heard a tight whimper.

Joan suddenly shot up from her seat and bolted up the stairs. Tears explode from her eyes and she’s sobbing by the time she gets into her bedroom (no. it’s not her bedroom. not anymore). The first thing she does is start packing.

She was so stupid! How could she think Jane would be different? Of course she would invade her privacy and search for anything that could prove that she was a horrible mess of a person. Nobody ever respected her things.

They all just wanted a reason to get her out.

   “Joan?”

Jane is now standing in her doorway.

   “Joan, why are you packing?”

Joan prepares herself for a beating or berating- one final act of humiliation before she was kicked out again.

   “Joan-”

Joan shrieks when Jane touched her shoulder. It was as soft as Maria’s touch (she missed Maria already) earlier that day but something about it was different. This was an adult touching her, and she couldn’t trust them anymore.

The girl reeled away as if she had been electrocuted and stumbled, tumbling to the ground. Jane is immediately upon her and she scrambled into the corner, raising her arms and preparing to try and protect her head. Jane froze and softened her voice.

   “I’m not going to hurt you, honey,” She murmured, “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She glanced back at the bag that was messily half-packed, “Why were you packing?”

   “A-aren’t you gonna give me away now?” Joan stuttered over her shaky breathing, “B-because-”

   “Oh, no, honey, no,” Jane said, “I would never. Certainly not over something so inconvenient.”

Joan didn’t ease up from her huddle, but allows Jane to crouch in front of her. She sniffled again, wiping her nose with her sleeve.

   “You’re not?” She squeaked out.

   “I’m not,” Jane assured her. She sat down cross-legged in front of Joan, keeping a safe distance between the two of them, “I just want to know where the blood came from. Do you think you can tell me?”

It took a moment for Joan to answer, as she was focused on steadying her breathing. She pressed her head against the wall, taking deep, calming breaths. She opened her eyes eventually and Jane’s patient, loving expression was the first thing she saw.

Then, she tugged up her sleeves and held out her ugly, gross, scabbed arm.

Jane gasped softly and Joan prepared to be yelled at for her skin-picking habit, but she wasn’t. Instead, Jane asked to touch and held Joan’s hand delicately when permission was given. She carefully grazed her fingertips over the scars, which still makes Joan whimper in distress and fright.

   “It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. I promise.” Jane told her, squeezing her hand comfortingly, “I’ll help you, okay? Kitty and I both. And I know that may be hard for you to believe, and I don’t blame you for that, but know that I’ll never hurt you. You don’t have to like me, you don’t have to think of me as you mother, but give me a chance. Please.”

Joan looked at her, looked deep into her steel grey eyes which held so much compassion and motherly warmth, so much...promise and security.

Then, she dared to nod in agreement.

[thatsjust-life-blog1]

Finding “The One”

This photo means a lot to me. My partner and I took a trip down the coast, courtesy of my Mum and Dad. They knew we were having a tough time as moving out together was a huge thing for me, and triggered my anxiety (I’ll write a post about that later). They bought us a nights stay, in a luxury tent, glamping. And this photo was taken before I knew what was going to happen later that night.

My partner and I had been best friends previously. Obviously once we got into our first relationships, we talked less and less. Falling more in love (so we thought) with our girlfriend/boyfriend at the time. I moved schools, he moved states. And we didn’t talk for a couple of years.

I will ALWAYS stand by that your first love will not be your last. UNLESS the first person you date is out of your teen years. Which to be honest these days, is unlikely.

The photo taken is in Narooma, New South Wales, Australia. It holds meaning for both of us. I grew up down there, with my family owning a caravan in one of the Big 4 parks. My partner and his dad used to go diving down there often. This is where my partner got down on one knee and asked me to be his partner for life.

How did I know he was “the one”?

Friends First. My partner and I have been together for over three years. We have been friends for 11, give or take. He has been with me through all my breakups and my triumphs.  I know, that’s hard if you’ve only just met them. But get to know someone on a friend level first, instead of trying to make it a relationship first up. It puts a lot of stress and expectations on the situation already. We’re the same but different. Opposites attract, or so we’ve heard. That’s a complete and utter shiet. If I was put in a room with someone the complete opposite to me, I would go crazy. You need balance. I’m an introvert, and he is an extrovert. And that is one of the things I love about us. He always puts my needs above his. ALWAYS. A quality you NEED to have in a partner. Don’t forget though, you need to do the same back. A relationship is a two way street. Family. I was lucky enough that my partner already had a close friendship with my brother, as they were in the same house at school. Getting along with each others family is such an important thing. Fighting. We walk away from each other when things get heated. If we were to keep arguing we would say things we don’t mean. So we go away and think about the situation at hand and then come back after reassessing. 9 times out of 10 it’s a stupid fight to be had, and we make up.

My biggest thing though in a relationship is not letting the passion fade. This is probably from watching to many romance movies. But it does happen. The start of the relationship you do anything you can for your girl or boy. I never want that to change. I still want surprise flowers. I still want to be swooped up and taken on a surprise day/weekend away. Keep that fire alive baby!! We make sure at least once a week, we sit down and play a board game or Wii or start a puzzle. Have some us time, open a bottle of wine. Talk about our day.

Everyone is different. But as long as they admire and inspire you, take care of your family like its their own, and keep that passion. They’re a keeper, hunnies.