#(so I guess the patch would in part be porting the lines he struggles with to New Testament of Pastalia so the other person can take them)

[katistrophe]

That feeling when you get a plotbunny for a fandom where you don’t even go, IN A CONLANG, and you don’t have anyone who knows it so it’s just pingponging around in your brain

[nejibaby]

Afterglow

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Y/N

Summary: Without Ace, your nights are back to being long, dark, and empty. But when you finally reunite, Ace refuses to just be your Daylight.

Daylight - Part 1 | Afterglow - Part 2

Word Count: 4.3k (my hands slipped, I’m so sorry)

Loosely based on: Taylor Swift’s Lover album (but mostly about the songs Daylight and Afterglow)

A/N: I really think Whitebeard is a great father, yk? So I see him as someone who you can always seek and rely on. He looks tough (and he’s actually tough), but he’s soft too! And Ace too, in that respect is similar to WB. I really believe he’ll be such a good boyfriend 🥺 Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this so much! Thank you to everyone who read this, I love yall 🥰

<Teach doesn’t exist to me, I hate him, so I guess this is noncanon? Also, there’s this tiny spoiler, just a warning.>

Sailing by yourself in a boat for one reminds you how vast the sea actually is. With the rowdy Whitebeard pirates, sometimes the sea, no, the world, seems a lot smaller, a lot more manageable, but alone, it feels so massive it’s almost frightening.

It’s easy to get lost, except there’s no such concept like that for someone like you who doesn’t have a destination to go to in mind. Quite simply, you’re wandering, but not lost.

You drift from one island to another. Your initial intention is to get as far away as possible from the crew. Now that that’s achieved, you’re unsure of what to do next.

You allow yourself to observe and to experience some sort of normalcy at the islands you dock at. It’s a good thing that you don’t really stand out so no one suspects you’re a wanted pirate.

Walking down the streets of random towns, you’re reminded of how lonely being a Celestial Dragon was. No one wants to interact with a World Noble, afraid of the consequences if they’re angered. Things changed drastically when you became a pirate though. People don’t shy away that much with pirates in certain places. They interact with you, albeit hesitantly sometimes. Nevertheless, you felt so free and happy.

Now, you’re still a pirate, as marked by Whitebeard’s infamous tattoo. But with the unsuspecting townspeople and the lack of the presence of a crew, you don���t feel like one. Somehow it makes you feel empty.

The void is immeasurable. Despite it being unbounded, you’re sure that a single person can fill that emptiness: Portgas D. Ace.

But there are oceans separating you from Ace— a distance that you put. With the space between you, there’s silence in your voyage, however, it’s quite mystifying how every island you reach seems to scream his name.

There’s an island where you’ve docked at that’s snowing all year long. It brought back memories of when you were fairly new to the Whitebeard Pirates and had landed on a similar island. Back then you’ve worn a coat as you disembarked Moby Dick, however, the cold continued to seep through your layers of clothing. You couldn’t handle extreme temperatures that well but you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so you continued to walk alongside the crew to scout the area. The thing was you may have been terrible at hiding it because Ace noticed the way your body was shivering and your teeth chattering. You were only acquaintances back then but he went to your side and striked a conversation with you. You didn’t understand why you became comfortable when he approached you all of a sudden, but then later that night you realized that he used his devil fruit abilities to warm you up.

At one island with a bustling town, there’s this restaurant that serves a variety of meat. You’re reminded of Ace and his bottomless pit of a stomach, and of his narcoleptic episodes while eating. He has a tendency of eating and then running, and the first few times he did it with you had you reeling. When you’ve finally realized that he’s never going to change, you start to keep a pouch of gold coins with you, reserved for paying for the food he eats. You leave it on the table just as Ace pulls you to run, and he has no idea about it. Owners or servers at the restaurants would still follow you out, but not to berate the both of you for not paying but to return the extra gold coins because you pay too much. Like usual though, Ace pretends not to hear them and they never got to catch up with you and Ace.

On another island, there’s a huge wild boar thrice the size of a human. It reminded you of the time you got so excited to explore an island that you speedily ran towards the forest alone, only to be met by a wild boar. The size of the boar stunned you and its glare kept you frozen in fear. A loud scream escaped your lips when it lunged at you, except the impact never came. When you’ve gathered your bearings, the wild boar was dead and… cooked, courtesy of Ace’s devil fruit abilities. He saved you, but he played it off as if he had his eyes on the wild boar since the beginning “to hunt it down.”

The current island you’re at is in famine. As soon as you docked at their port, a group of men has drawn their swords at you. For a moment, you thought they were bounty hunters so you grabbed your daggers and took a defensive stance. However, from the way they keep looking back and forth to you and your boat, and from hearing the faint sound of their stomach grumbling, you can tell they aren’t. Behind some trees, you can see the heads of some children peeking with worried yet hopeful looks on their faces.

Slowly, you raise your hands up in surrender, dropping your daggers in the process. You can’t turn your back on them — figuratively and literally — so you walk backwards towards your boat. The men look at you curiously but they don’t ever lower their swords.

In a quick motion, you grab a bag containing all of your food supply and throw it at them. One of the men catches it. “You can have them. It isn’t much, but that’s all I have.”

The man who was able to catch the bag carefully opens it and sees food. He almost cries at the sight of it. The rest of the men lowers the sword after you offer no sign of aggression. They start calling the other citizens of the area afterwards.

The children are the first to come running towards the men — all of them conveying excitement. You couldn’t tell how long they haven’t eaten but judging from how thin they are, it has got to be quite some time.

A small girl stumbles and falls near you and you quickly come to her aid. There isn’t much damage, just a scraped knee so you carefully patched her up.

“Thank you,” she gives you a toothy smile and then starts heading to the men who are distributing the food.

She comes back a moment later, arms outstretched to hand an apple to you. “For you,” she says.

Something blossoms in your heart because of her sweetness. “Thank you, but it’s fine, you can have it,”

She doesn’t object but then she hugs you tightly. “Thank you so much.”

Surprisingly, even on an island like this, you’re reminded of Ace. You remember his story about coming to Wano and meeting a child named “Tama” who seemed to be as charming as the child you helped and is under the same fortune.

Now that your mind has drifted to thoughts of Ace, you didn’t want to think of anything else. Even as the people gather around you to offer their thanks, and even as they usher you to a bonfire to celebrate for the food to eat, the thoughts of him linger in your head.

And just like in all the previous islands you came to, you wish he’s here with you too.

There’s longing in your heart, but there’s also something else— something pleasant that you can’t quite describe— and you attribute it to the gratitude of the people.

The mother of the child you helped, Sito, offers their spare room for you to take and you graciously accept. Soft snores almost immediately fill your ears after a few minutes of them bidding you good night.

The longer you stay awake, however, the pleasant feeling you felt a while ago starts to leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

You’ve always criticized yourself for not being able to do more when you were still a Celestial Dragon but now that you did something good, you start to feel selfish for doing it because it makes you feel better about yourself.

It’s at times like this that you seek Pops. There’s a sudden urge to hear his voice and his thoughts. So you grab your Den Den Mushi, but you hesitate.

You’ve lost track of the days since you left Moby Dick. And in that time frame, you never once called Pops. Although you didn’t really promise to call, maybe he was expecting you to, especially since you know he wouldn’t do it first.

You sigh. Maybe this call is long overdue after all.

You step outside the house and start to contact Pops using the Den Den Mushi. It only rings once and then it’s answered, almost as if Pops was waiting by the Den Den Mushi. The thought brings a smile to your face. “Pops—”

“Why on earth are you only calling now?!” His angry tone welcomes you.

“I’m so—”

“Is that Y/N?!” Marco interrupts. Ah, how could you have forgotten? It’s at this time that Marco reports to Pops. “We’re so worried about you -yoi!”

You can hear sounds of struggling on the line and then there’s a loud smack followed by an even louder crash. There’s a moment of silence which makes you wonder what’s going on in the ship.

“Why didn’t you call earlier?!” Pops’ voice booms. “If you’re going to leave a Den Den Mushi, I’m going to expect your reports but I received none of that.”

“I’m sorry Pops. I have no excuse,” you sheepishly say.

“Everyone’s worried about you,” he pauses but then his voice rings louder once again, “Some are even outside my room trying to listen in on our conversation. But if they know better, they should leave us alone.” The sound of rushing footsteps could be heard in the background as Pops finishes his sentence.

You chuckle, imagining the crew eavesdropping. “How are you Pops?”

“I’m doing fine.”

“How’s everyone? How’s… uhm… Ace?”

“Everyone’s just missing you. You didn’t say goodbye after all,” he says. “I put Ace on a mission because he won’t stop pestering me about you. He won’t come back in a couple of days.”

“Oh.”

“He misses you a lot,” he sighs. “He strides to me everyday to demand your whereabouts. Each time I wouldn’t tell him but he never learns. Vista says he’s on his 56th attempt the other day.”

The brief image of Ace that your mind comes up with brings a small smile to your face.

“When are you coming back?” Whitebeard breaks your reverie.

“Ah, I’m not sure yet… It might take a while.”

He hums. “So how are you? Have you been eating well?”

“I’m doing fine, Pops. No one’s been coming after me yet so everything’s going well,” you respond. “But… Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“There’s this island with people who haven’t eaten in so long so I gave them everything I have.” There’s a loud growl coming from Pops so you immediately continue your speech before he could scold you for doing such a thing. “I feel really good about what I did as they thanked me. But then the longer I thought about it, I started feeling ashamed because... wasn’t it selfish since I did it to make me feel better about myself? Then I started to wonder if it was wrong to do good things just because I wanted to be absolved of my parents’ sins. Was I wrong in doing this, Pops?”

“No, you did the right thing.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you’re not an inherently bad person for getting paid in gratitude.”

“But…”

“Making yourself happy by making other people happy is how it’s meant to work. If one of your key motives to doing good things is to feel good, then you’re still doing something good and there’s nothing shameful about that.”

Hearing his words puts you at ease. You’re glad you called him. “Thank you, Pops. I’m sorry for worrying everyone there and for disrupting Marco’s report. I promise I’ll call more often from now on.”

“It’s fine. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Where will you be headed next?”

“I’m not sure. I’m just going where the sea leads me.”

“Be careful.”

“You too, Pops,” and with that, you bid your goodbye and hang up.

By morning, you start preparing your things to leave. You didn’t want to stay for too long because you didn’t want to consume even a portion of the small amount of food they have.

Sito offers you to stay another night, worried that it would be uncomfortable to sleep on a boat. “You can stay one more day. There’s still enough food for us to share.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to impose,” you decline. “But do you mind if I ask what happened here?”

There’s sadness in her eyes, it was easy to tell the memory pained her, but she tells you everything anyway. “This island is one of the few lawless areas in the world, hence, it’s a place where pirates would dock at. A group of men once docked here and kidnapped the leaders of our town. They were sold off to be slaves, because apparently the Nobles like to enslave people of power…” Her words start to fade on you upon the mention of the World Nobles.

Anger flares up in your system immediately. How low can the Celestial Dragons go? It’s sickening to think that you share the same blood as them. It’s because of this revelation that something becomes clear in your mind.

Ever since leaving Moby Dick, you’re just wandering aimlessly. But after hearing Sito talk about this island, you’re finally sure of what your destination should be.

Sabaody Archipelago.

Specifically, the Human Auctioning House.

From the sudden fury that overwhelms you, not even the fear of being within arm’s reach of the Marines, and possibly dying, could stop you from going there.

It’s reckless and foolish, but isn’t this the reason you left Moby Dick that night— to face your nightmares instead of running away from them?

You listen politely as Sito explains everything else but her words enter and leave your ears without you having to comprehend them. Fortunately, she doesn’t notice your inattentiveness, probably because she wants to pour her frustrations out to a stranger.

You offer your sympathies to her and promise her you’d come back with your crew and help them some more. It’s a simple promise yet for someone who hasn’t been offered help for so long, it means a lot, enough to even bring tears to her eyes. And just like that, you leave.

There are two more islands to stop at before you reach Sabaody Archipelago. You gather provisions on one island and buy explosives on the other.

The only thing you’re sure you can actually do alone is to blow up the Human Auctioning House. Facing the World Nobles is for another time, unfortunately. As for the Marines, well… You’d worry about that if they indeed come. You know you’d be able to handle them as long as they don’t send an Admiral after you.

The thing that worries you the most, however, is Pops’ reaction once you let him know of your plan. While you can always just not tell him, it feels wrong, and you promised you’d report to him, after all. And it’s hard for you to admit, but you secretly want to be saved in case your plan goes askew. That, and well, you still want to make up with Ace, may it be just strictly as friends, but preferably as lovers.

You decide to call once you’re about to set sail towards Sabaody Archipelago. You’re sitting in the middle of your boat, still anchored at the port when you told Pops your plan. And as expected, he’s mad.

He demands you to go back to the crew immediately. “Captain’s orders,” he says. But after a few moments, he retracts his words and says, “Your father’s orders.” You feel the weight of his words when he said that and you almost concede. But the faces of the slaves your family had flashes into your mind and it solidifies your decision.

Interestingly, despite the weeks you have spent away from the crew, their ship is nearer to you than anticipated. As confirmed by Pops himself when he angrily said, “Enough! I’m sending Ace to get you! Two or three days is enough for him to catch up with you.”

But quite frankly, that’s also enough time to execute your plan. And if the odds are in your favor, then Ace might just come in time for your escape.

Arriving at Sabaody Archipelago, you keep your face hidden underneath the hood of your cloak. It’s normal for pirates to walk around the place without having to hide their identities, but it’s a luxury you can’t afford. If someone catches wind that you’re here and reports it, the Cipher Pol just might come and capture you before you can even execute your plan. That just won’t do. So on the first day of your arrival, you only scout the area of the Human Auctioning House and retreat back to the inn you stay at.

You carry out your plan on the next day. You place a bomb where the side of the stage is supposed to be. It’s a distraction so people inside would leave the premises. The plan is to find the keys and free the slaves while the people are panicking from the explosion. Then eliminate the head of the place, Mr. Disco, and finally blow the place apart. It sounds simple but with you having to do all the work, you know it isn’t.

Now that you’re here, your nerves are spiking up. Arriving at the entrance of the building, you take a deep breath, your hand automatically reaching for the bracelet that Ace made you. It instantly calms you down.

It baffles you how fate works because on the very day you decide to free the slaves that are being sold off at the Human Auctioning House, Ace’s brother, Luffy — along with his crew — is at the same place to rescue their friend who was kidnapped.

Somehow even on a dangerous mission like this, there’s still something or someone who’d remind you of Ace. It makes you wonder: has he really embedded himself too deep into your life that there’s no escaping the thoughts of him? Not that you mind; the thoughts of him bring you peace, after all. But still, it’s fascinating that even in both mundane and dangerous settings, he makes himself known to you.

Upon entering the Human Auctioning House, everything happens so fast and unexpected. And quite frankly, a lot happened that wasn’t part of the plan.

Aside from finding the Straw Hat Pirates, you got yourself injured when you used your body to shield their fish man friend, Hatchi, from Saint Charlos’ gunshot. Then you confronted Saint Shalria personally despite you not planning to get involved with the Celestial Dragons. As for the slaves, it was the Dark King, Silvers Rayleigh, who actually freed them. The only things that you personally executed from your plan were Mr. Disco’s elimination and the bombing of the Human Auctioning House.

Escape is easy once the building starts to explode because the Marines would have to lessen the forces who're chasing after the pirates in order for them to successfully put out the fire. Without any Admiral on the scene yet, it’s not hard to slip away from them and/or fight them.

Even with the gunshot wound on your arm, you’re able to take down each and every one of the Marines who are chasing you. But halfway through your journey back to the grove where you left your boat at, you lose your adrenaline.

You start to feel the sharp and stinging sensation on your arm once again, yet, you couldn’t help but smile. You have gotten out alive. The slaves have been freed. With both Mr. Disco and the building gone, the Human Auctioning House will no longer be operational, or at least not yet until someone steps up. But that won’t be after a long time.

It’s a wonderful day.

You look up at the afterglow of the sunset with a serene smile. You have a feeling your nights are going to feel shorter now and less frightening than they were before.

Your peaceful moment is cut off by someone rather abruptly. You jump in surprise as someone wraps their arms around you from behind all of a sudden. “I finally caught up with you.”

Your breath hitches at the sound of the voice. “Ace? What are you doing here?”

He doesn’t answer your question, but he mumbles, “I’m sorry if I only came now. Pops wouldn’t tell me where you were, but I came as soon as I could.” Then he tightens his hug. “I was so scared, I thought I’d lose you…”

“Ace, I’m sorry about—”

“Hey, it’s on me, okay?” He interrupts. “I blew things out of proportion, and now you’re blue.”

You pull away from his hug to face him.

“Y-your arm! You’re bl-bleeding,” he stutters after seeing your injury.

But you pay no mind to that. “Ace… I’m really sorry about us—”

“Ssshhh, baby…” he rubs his hand on your back.

He looks at your figure carefully, focused on looking for any more bruises or wounds. When he doesn’t find anything more, he gently holds you by your waist. “Don’t blame yourself, I’m the one who burned us down, but… it’s not what I meant.

“It was all in my head, okay? It’s just that the Celestial Dragons are all grouped in my head as scums and that they’re inexcusable because… my brother was killed by a Celestial Dragon.”

A wave of guilt flows through your body, enough to weaken your knees. Before you could fall, however, Ace catches you and brings you to his chest. But this doesn’t stop you from sobbing on his chest. “I didn’t know, Ace. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that’s the thing, baby. It isn’t your fault. It wasn’t you who pulled the trigger. And… I have to admit I failed to see that at first,” he says as he hugs you tighter. “I shouldn’t have stood there frozen after you told me your story. I’m supposed to be the one who understands you...

“I’m not trying to make excuses and I’m not trying to make this about me but it’s just that… for so long I thought that I inherited the bad blood of my father, and I spent my lifetime failing to see that his sins aren’t my sins,” his voice cracks as he cries. “So when I found out about you… My mind automatically held you liable for the sins of the Nobles…

“But I talked to Pops and he straightened me up. I understand now. Our parents’ sins aren’t ours. It never was ours to begin with. So I’m sorry for blaming you for something you didn’t do…”

Ace stares at your crying form. He cups your face and sincerely says, “It’s so excruciating to see you low,” as he wipes the tears on your eyes. “I’m sorry if I hurt you…”

“It’s fine Ace, I forgive you. But…” You look directly into his eyes. “I’m at fault too,” you confess. “I was the one who left... I was so used to living like an island and isolating myself that it didn’t occur to me that I was punishing you with silence… I should’ve waited patiently for you but I ran away…”

Ace rubs your back gently and presses his forehead against yours, “I forgive you too.”

You smile in relief.

After a couple of minutes in silence, Ace tilts his head. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Remember when you said that you saw daylight after sleeping in a long, dark night?”

You give him a curious look but nodded anyway.

“Beside wishing that I was there for you sooner, it had me thinking...”

“What?”

“Uhm… The world is terrible and cruel, and no one can ever really stop the dark nights from coming.”

You frown. You don’t really understand what Ace is trying to say.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is,” he rubs his neck while his cheeks starts to blush, “if you ever have to go through those dark nights, I wouldn’t want you to wait for daylight.

“I want to be there with you on those nights until they’re over. I don’t want to leave you when things get rough and only show up when you’re better. I know you see me as your daylight but I don’t want to be just that.”

His words warm your heart, and makes it skip a beat. “You know, Ace, there are remnants of light that linger in the sky even when the sun has long gone down and the night starts. It’s the afterglow,” you mumble.

“Yeah, but that goes away too after a while,” he frowns.

“Well, lucky for you the moon reflects the sun’s light during the night, huh?”

He grins. “Yeah, yeah. I like that. I want to be your source of light, may it be the daylight, moonlight, or the afterglow.”

A moment of silence engulfs the both of you. Under the soft afterglow of the sunset with your arms wrapped around each other, you feel at peace.

Once upon a time, you used to believe love is black and white— that it’s straightforward. It was either you love Ace or you don’t, there were no gray areas. No matter what he feels, says, or does, your love for him never ceases.

But then some other days you believed that love is burning red— that it’s full of passion, lust, and romance, much like the nights you spent entangled in the sheets with Ace.

However, right now in Ace’s arms, all you could ever think about is that love is golden. It was warmth and comfort, like what daylight brings. It was contentment and serenity too, much like the feeling of lightness one gets when seeing the afterglow of the sunset. Either way, it’s Ace who makes you feel those.

No matter what color love actually is though, for you it’s always embodied by Ace.

[tiny-maus-boots]

Queen of Hearts pt 14

A/N: thank you as always to @chloes-yellow-cup for being my bestie and still doing all the things i hate to do. and a big thanks to @kimmania for your constant encouragement and supply of Legos. i love you awesome nerds. 

14.

“Hit me with your best shot…”

Aubrey’s long arm stretched out along the back of the dark leather of the modern style sofa she was settled on. For the most part she could tune out the dry croak from the desk, but…

“Why don’t you hit me with your best shot.”

This was the sixth time in an hour that she was hearing the song. She was going to have to remind Lilly to remove it from the jukebox after tonight.

“Hit me with your best shot…”

The rough warble across from her died down and she thought for a moment that the singer had finally drifted off asleep. Aubrey’s head turned to the screen that showed a live feed of the cameras around The Dirty Bird. Movement flickered though them as Stacie and the Doc walked between the tables and around the bar toward the back office. She turned her head to check on the figure standing but slumped over her desk only to find dark blue eyes watching and waiting for her attention. The small woman raised herself to her elbows from her slouch and belted out just as the door opened.

“FIRE AWAAAAYYYYY!!! Pew pew pew.”

Aubrey sighed as Detective Mitchell’s finger guns gave out on the click of her tongue and she collapsed back over the desk to cradle a half empty bottle of grappa, ass up where she stood. Stacie’s wide eyes panned slowly toward her, body bouncing lightly with barely restrained glee.

“Oh my God….” Chloe took one look at the Detective and pinned Aubrey with a glare. “How drunk is she?”

The blonde raised a shoulder as she considered. “She’s been worse.”

“Doc. Doooooocccc….I hurt. Right. Here.” Beca raised a hand and brought it back to point at her butt. Her finger wavered as she tried to locate the exact spot which caused the most pain and then pointed for emphasis with a little too much enthusiasm. “Right. OW. Here. OWIE.”

Stacie eased onto the sofa and settled in comfortably in Aubrey’s lap to watch Doc Beale work. The redhead moved behind Beca and settled her bag on the desk. She took a great steadying breath before wrestling away the grappa from the prone detective and snapping on a pair of gloves. Aubrey admired the way Doc Beale efficiently and deftly managed to get Beca’s jeans over her hips and halfway down her legs with practiced ease. Beca seemed to admire it too because she stirred enough to look blearily over her shoulder with a smile.

“If you wanted to check out my assetsssss Doc, you didn’t have to wait til I got stabbeded in it. Right. There. Ow.”

“Yes, I see. Please stop poking the wound in your ass cheek. How even….?”

“I was tailing my guy. My big fish. Fishy fishy fishy. That’s a fun word to say.” Chloe muttered something Aubrey couldn’t hear over Stacie’s soft chuckling. “I heard that! Plenty of people would be DE-FUCKING-lighted to spend their date night starin’ at a little of this action.”

Aubrey bit her lip to keep the laugh from breaking free as the detective wiggled her ass unmindful of the tight skinny jeans trapping her legs and toppled into a slide nearly off the desk before Chloe managed to grab and right her teetering form.

“Head down, ass up. Now tell me again how you managed to get stabbed in the butt cheek with glass?”

“You said that like you’re used to giving that order. I might be down for that, just be gentle with me.”

Beca gave her a leer that the doctor promptly ignored as she prepped her tools.

“Detective, remember that I have some very sharp instruments here that I am excellent with.”

Beca gave her a dubious look but obediently turned and bent over the desk again so the other woman could examine the wound. Chloe was utterly focused on the task of cleaning and debriding the punctures in a circular pattern. Aubrey had been sure it was going to require at least a few stitches from what she saw before she called for real medical help.

“I told you. I was following the big fish.”

“And you followed him into a bar I’m guessing.”

“Right, rule numero dos of detectivering. Don’t stick out like a sore thumb.”

Chloe blinked and looked up from her work to focus on Beca. “What’s numero uno?”

“That’s not a real number, Doc.”

“Solid rebuttal.”

“Did…did you just make pun of my rump? Oh my God I’m in love. I’d get down on one knee right now and propose. Except you’re feeling up my butt right now and that’s kinda nice.”

The doctor’s bright blue eyes narrowed and she jabbed the needle into the hunk of flesh she had just grabbed in preparation for the injection. She depressed the plunger quickly as her patient yelped and attempted to squirm away.

“HEATHEN! Oh God. I’m dying. Help. I’m dying, Dr. Kevorkian is killing me….my vision…I can’t see.”

“Open your eyes, idiot. That was just an antibiotic booster. Have you had a tetanus shot recently?”

“Pretend I said whatever answer will prevent you from being a literal pain in my ass.”

It was too much for Stacie and she turned her head to bury her laughter in Aubrey’s neck. The blonde tightened her grip on her fiancée and enjoyed a satisfying laugh at the detective’s expense. She hadn’t known what she’d find when she had gotten Beca’s distress call. They had all been on high alert since coming back to Los Angeles, trying to close ranks as best they could without being obvious about it. She had been waiting for an attack to come and her first thought when she had gotten the call was that it had finally begun. Each moment waiting in her office while Lilly retrieved the Detective from her hiding place in an abandoned warehouse building down at the port had been like a stone on her chest. She had needed this humor to ease the cold grip of fear on her heart.

Aubrey’s line of business didn’t lend itself to close relationships with members of law enforcement, at least not for long. What she and the Detective had was something altogether different than any of the other criminal-cop business agreements she had formed during her career. Beca was someone she trusted at her side, more…trusted at her back. The idea that someone would try to take her out was sobering and her laughter faded. Stacie sensed the change in her and cupped Aubrey’s face gently to bring their foreheads together. Words weren’t necessary for Stacie to understand what she was thinking and feeling. The blonde took a deep breath and straightened her spine. One hand came up to adjust and smooth her tie. If it had started…she wanted to know who was coming for her people.

“So, who’s the fish?”

Beca lifted her head from the desk and struggled to focus on Aubrey. It took her a few seconds to process the question. She seemed to have forgotten the conversation while Chloe worked silently to finish working on her wound.

“A security guard. He’s got bad taste in bars and also what I would loosely refer to as ladies.”

She couldn’t imagine where a security guard would fit in with Alice’s plans and frowned. Maybe this wasn’t about her. Beca had other cases she was working, maybe this was just another Tuesday night for the cop.

“A security guard? Sounds kind of small time for you.”

Denim blue eyes flashed to hers, some of the haze of alcohol burned away by intensity of her drive. The small brunette’s lips quirked into a smirk. Aubrey was suddenly very sure that nothing Beca did was small time or without a very good reason.

“It only takes a small stone in the right place to make a rockslide.”

Chloe slowed her movements as she finished her work. Something about what Beca said must have been interesting to the doctor because she kept her attention on the detective while she cleaned up the trash and peeled her gloves off to toss in the black plastic trash bag left there for that purpose. Aubrey guessed she was re-evaluating her previous estimations of the foul mouthed, perpetually smug, woman.

“You’re not wrong, Bec. So, what’s this small stone guarding?”

“Not what. Where. Dude works at the port.” She grunted and stood gingerly with a backward glance at her own butt. “Hm. Nice, think chicks will dig the scar?”

If Chloe had been considering there may be more to Beca than outrageous flirtation it was only a brief passing fantasy. She sighed and rolled her eyes then glared at Aubrey.

“18, Aubrey.” It was almost enough to make her face split into a grin and she had to turn her chuckle into a soft cough. Chloe tied up the bag and dropped it in the trashcan sure that it would be disposed of carefully. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to patch one of them up, they knew the drill by now. “You owe me so big.”

“I’m good for it. So, Detective, what about this dock rat?”

Beca stopped checking herself out long enough to pull her pants up and wink at Chloe before answering. Doc pretended not to notice but Aubrey could see her watching Beca from the corner of her eye while she played around with the tools in her bag.

“When I figure how he connects to Richie Rich, I’ll let you know.”

Stacie’s body tensed in her arms and Aubrey glanced at her curiously. Her girl chewed her lower lip in thought, a habit that Aubrey found adorable. “Something on your mind, Stace?”

“It’s probably nothing. Just something Edith said about someone I went to prom with. His dad got him a job down at the docks.” Stacie shrugged it off but Aubrey could tell she was still chewing on it. “Probably just coincidence.”

Aubrey and Beca exchanged a look. After a lifetime of double crosses and plot twists, neither of them believed in coincidences. The detective dug around in her pocket for her phone. She wasn’t quite sober yet but a hell of a lot steadier than a few moments ago. Aubrey snatched the phone easily out of the air when it was tossed her way and glanced at the screen.

It was a video and she angled it so Stacie could see too. Her fiancée pressed play and sighed. Beca could be heard in the background giving a lot of very specific direction to the two women practically fucking on a pool table in a disgusting looking rathole of a bar. Aubrey was pretty sure the women were hookers and the corner of her mouth quirked in amusement. Stacie took the phone out of her hand turned it to face back to the detective.

“Really Beca?”

“I thought it was pretty good for my directorial debut. But your gutter brain is making you miss the real show.”

Aubrey took the phone back and focused on the whole scene. Behind the women in a shadowed booth two men were clearly having an animated discussion. One was further into the shadow than the other but his gestures were strong and decisive. She watched as the other, younger seeming, man’s gestures became conciliatory and submissive the longer the conversation went on. In the foreground a flurry of noise and activity caused the camera to shake and wildly as if it were being swung around. There were glimpses of rough faces and snatches of shouts and curses. At one point there was a good stretch of scuffed flooring where she assumed Beca had been crawling away from the obvious brawl happening around her.

The camera came up again in time to catch the men leaving their booth in a hurry. Each of them caught in the neon blue glow from beer signs on the walls. Stacie snatched the phone out of her hand and hit pause. Long legs dropped down to the floor from the sofa and she stood in shock.

“Bree…this is Senator Grant. The guy he’s with is his son Kodie, we went to high school...Jesus Christ…”

“You know him?”

“Weston stole his money.”

They looked at each other then turned twin green-eyed gazes on Detective Mitchell. The small woman’s brow was furrowed in thought, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she worried it.

“The kid is on the videos.”

Mitchell didn’t have to say which videos, they all knew. Even Doc Beale. Stacie looked away from them, uncomfortable with the knowledge that she had been in some of those videos. Aubrey let out a long settling breath and stood. She gently took the phone from Stacie’s shaking hand and brought it to lips to brush a soft kiss over Stacie’s wrist. It gave her a wan smile but it was something. Stacie would be okay. Aubrey looked down at the phone and watched the video again. And again. And once more. She studied every gesture, every twitch of posture, every unconscious expression she could make out.

“I want the kid. He’s the weak link.”

Beca grunted and limped around the desk to grab her keys and helmet, ready to go back to work with a hole in her ass nearly as big as the one in her pants. It wasn’t going to happen that way and Aubrey reached out to snag both items from the sidebar and hand them to Stacie who easily placed them on a shelf far too high for Detective Mitchell to reach without finding a stand on.

“White she devil.”

“Sorry, Bec. Can’t have you half-assing anything.”

She didn’t like it and Aubrey could tell but Beca sighed and grunted. “Solid burn.”

Aubrey gave her a quick grin then turned to eye the Doctor who was watching them all curiously. Her gaze met Aubrey’s and a brow went up. Honestly, she almost felt a little bad about needing to have the Doc take Beca somewhere safe. She didn’t ask, she didn’t need to. Chloe knew what she was thinking and started to shake her head no until Beca tried to drag a chair over to the get her stuff.

“I really hate you, Aubrey Posen.”

“No, you don’t, Doc.”

“You WILL be making a very large donation to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.”

“Absolutely.”

“And vacation for my office girls. Two weeks!”

“I’ll buy the plane tickets myself.”

“And if she pisses me off just once I will trank her and leave her on a park bench.”

The last was a bluff but Aubrey treated the threat seriously. “Understood. Anything else?”

“….I’ll think of something!” Aubrey bit back another grin and nodded seriously. She slipped her hands into her pockets as the doctor steeled herself mentally to take on Beca. “Come one Detective, as much as this pains me to say…you’re coming home with me.”

Beca dropped the helmet she had finally just retrieved on the ground and left it like discarded trash to limp over to Chloe. “Okay.”

“God…you’re so easy.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Doc.”

Chloe gave her a final glare and slung the detective’s arms over her shoulder to help her limp out of the office. Stacie settled the length of her body along Aubrey’s back, hands coming up to finger the buttons of her vest.

“How well do you know this Kodie, joker?”

Stacie hmmm thoughtfully. “Not as well as I did in high school. Edith told me he got caught up in some trouble recently. I think I know how we can get to him though.”

“How?”

“He likes cocaine and paying for his um let’s call them dates. I had Happy make some calls for you.”

The smile came to her face easily and she leaned into Stacie’s embrace. This wasn’t anything like what her mom and dad had. Her mother had never been this involved in what her father did for work. She had kept as distant from it as she could, turning her nose up at the family that protected them, running from the darkness of the business. Stacie would never do that to her. She knew it all way down to the bottom of soul. Aubrey turned in her arms and brought their heads together.

“You got more cards up your sleeve than a Vegas croupier, you know that?”

“Hmm. I learned from the best.”

Aubrey closed the distance, her brushing softly over Stacie’s. There were a lot of words she could say about how she felt about the woman in her arms. She could probably write pages on it, but words didn’t matter half as much as action did. She was going to marry this woman and spend her life giving her the best of everything. They were going to be happy and she didn’t care who she had to kill to make it happen.

“Let me take you home?”

“Aubrey…in your arms? I’m already there.”

[dinosaurtsukki]

❀ facets | “i don’t want you to see me like this” feat. chuuya nakahara

⇢ day 4 of angstcember

⇢ synopsis: you and chuuya both have sides to yourselves that you don’t want the other to see and unfortunately, the mafia brings out the worst in everyone

⇢ a/n: so here’s the chuuya angst you guys have been waiting for !! i,,, really hope that it was worth the wait i guess cause i know some of you were excited but if it’s not apologies in advance ;-;

⇢ pairing: chuuya nakahara x gn!reader

⇢ word count: 2.7k words

ANGSTCEMBER MASTERLIST (feat. haikyuu!! and bungou stray dogs)

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it was difficult to be in the mafia without spilling blood. after all, it was what the job entailed. just like everyone who joined the port mafia, you had been accepted because of your skill in eliminating targets. you always did so quickly and oftentimes mercilessly. more than a few times, mori himself had gave you solo missions to specifically assassinate unneeded targets.

and yet, you hated having to kill. you hated that from a young age, it was the only way you ever knew when it came to surviving the world you lived in. after being orphaned, you were immediately taken in by a criminal syndicate and trained to be an assassin before eventually joining the port mafia. as much as you tried to outrun this, you gave in and grew apathetic to your job requirements. ‘just do it as quick as possible, forget, and then move on,’ you told yourself during every job. 

that was until you had met chuuya nakahara.

well, it’s not like you had met him for the first time there at a local bar. everyone in the port mafia knew about the young, mafia executive with the powerful gravity manipulation ability. in fact, you had worked under him on a few assignments. despite the reputation about his temper, you found him to be quite level-headed when it came to leading your group and making difficult decisions on the spot. there was a side to chuuya that was a bit caring too and he always checked on everyone after a mission. sometimes, you’d even watch him remove his hat in respect when a fallen mafioso was reported.

“nakahara-san,” you were about to get up and bow when he waved a hand, signaling not to.

“you don’t need to do that. we’re not at work,” he scoffed, sitting on the bar stool next to you. “this is my first time here. recommend anything good?”

you were surprised at his casual-ness, especially since he was technically your boss too, but you answered his question nonetheless. “well, they always have really good whiskey.”

“can’t go wrong with that then,” chuuya said, requesting the drink from the bartender. “so, you’re l/n, right?” 

“you... remember my name?” you blinked in surprise. 

“i mean, you have worked for me. what kind of a boss would i be if i didn’t even know your name?” chuuya raised an eyebrow at you before sipping from his drink.

“makes sense,” you shrugged. “it’s just that you happen to be the first.”

“you’re also the one koyou ane-san spoke highly of,” chuuya added. “although, i heard you turned down her offer of a promotion.”

“i’m not really in great need of money,” you reasoned. “and besides, it’s pretty much the same job content anyway but i’d have to do more things.”

“well, the doing more things part you got right,” he chuckled, downing his glass before ordering a refill. “although, i get the feeling you have another reason for turning down that promotion.” chuuya looked at you expectantly and you felt as though you’ve underestimated his intuition just a bit. you looked down at your half-empty glass and sighed.

“i don’t really like being in the mafia. i’m good at my job but, i don’t care much for it, nor do i think i’m particularly good at anything else. in the end, i just feel like i’m being used?” you shook your head and laughed. “sorry, i know that sounds terribly pathetic.” 

“if you don’t like something, can you really help it?” chuuya pointed out.

“i thought you didn’t like people who chickened out?” you dared to tease him.

“that’s not the same as chickening out,” chuuya wagged a finger. “because you still do what’s being asked of you.”

“fair enough.”

“i don’t know if this helps but, you’re pretty good at tying bandages too,” he said, puzzling you slightly. “one of the doctors at the infirmary told me that tomura-san wouldn’t have made it if you hadn’t stopped the bleeding quickly.” chuuya downed his second glass of whiskey before placing it on the counter and paying for his drinks. “just some food for thought,” he added, before getting off the bar stool and leaving you alone.

...

whether or not chuuya had intended it, his comment did get you thinking quite a bit. you did have good knowledge of the human body, thanks to your assassin training that taught you which were the best points of the human body to strike. the port mafia boss himself was also a doctor, so who’s to say that killing people and saving lives were separate forms of knowledge.

slowly, you began to pick up on chuuya’s way of reinforcing that idea he had initially planted. when you were put in missions with him, he’d often order you to help patch up the wounded, even encouraging you to take your ‘patients’ to the infirmary. there, you’d intently watch the nurses and paramedics do their valuable work. at times, you wondered if you were really of use because you were no longer in the front lines but chuuya reassured you that what you were doing was more than enough.

finally, you decided to file in a request to transfer to the medical department. it took quite a long time for it to be processed, since you knew that you were still valuable to the organization as an assassin, but you managed to convince the higher-ups of being able to work as an on-site paramedic who could also defend themselves in the front lines.

after being accepted, you went to your usual bar for a celebratory drink. it didn’t come as a surprise anymore to see chuuya already there, waiting for you.

...

aside from holding up his reputation of being a powerful member of the port mafia, chuuya also wanted it to be known that he was a leader his subordinates could trust. ‘what’s the point of mistreating them if you know they’re ready to lay down their lives to follow your orders?’ chuuya would always reason. he wasn’t one to dote, but when he knew someone wasn’t exactly working at their very best, chuuya took it quite seriously.

you had already caught his eye the first time you worked with him on a job. there was nothing to complain about when it came to your skill. in fact, chuuya was particularly impressed with how cleanly and efficiently you eliminated your targets. it’s just that the expression on your face, one of boredom, caught his attention just as much. it almost reminded him of his own. sure, chuuya loved fighting and the adrenaline rush he got from it was like nothing else. but at one point, he had grown tired with knowing that he would win anyway no matter what. it was why he decided to put on his gloves and refrain from using his fists. 

at first, chuuya was mainly concerned with what was bothering you so he took a page out of dazai’s book -- which wasn’t something he wanted to particularly confess to -- and decided to coerce you a bit into doing something that would interest you. it wasn’t fully manipulative though, because chuuya genuinely knew you were quite good at the new skill you picked up and he could see you enjoyed that more. 

then, he noticed that there was an inarguable gentleness to you. chuuya happened to read your file out of curiosity and learned about your past being trained as a young assassin. he felt a bit sorry that a different life was robbed from you and was therefore even more motivated to help steer you down the path you wanted more.

chuuya was genuinely happy that you had joined the medical department but he did find that he was seeing you less and less. you joined a few more missions as a frontline paramedic but spent most of your time in the infirmary. it was only after it hit him that he was missing you that chuuya began to realize maybe there was something else underlying his intentions.

he didn’t like chickening out of anything but that also meant he shouldn’t chicken out with facing his feelings. chuuya couldn’t come see you at the infirmary because he never got injuries. instead, he decided to meet you again at your favorite bar, the place where he first met you for real. 

this time, he came with a confession. and so did you.

...

the first thing you noticed when you opened your eyes was the ringing in your ears and the dust that had seeped into your lungs. you blinked that same dust from your eyes before sitting up in a panic when you realized what had just happened. according to the higher-ups, the port mafia was going to be engaging with a very powerful enemy organization and you and your fellow paramedics and nurses in the infirmary were expected to be working all through the next few days. you were prepared as the bodies came flooding in and you just hoped and prayed that the fight would be over.

you had just finished stitching a particularly ugly gash when you heard an explosion from within the infirmary. and then, the screaming, and then, it occurred to you that the enemy had done the unthinkable.

there was rubble all around you and you struggled to get out but thankfully, you were still in one piece. but as you looked around what used to be an operating room, you realized the extent and gravity of the damage dealt. the enemy had just bombed a hospital. it wasn’t just port mafia members they were treating there but yokohama residents who had unfortunately been caught in the crossfire. sure, you were part of a mafia and used to be an assassin and you did kill people. but there was no dignity in bombing a hospital. 

rage flooded you as you walked around the ruins, your eyes picking up the ugly sights of what was left of the survivors and those who were terribly unlucky. and above all else, there was a terrible sadness. if you were in the frontlines, would you have prevented this?

...

chuuya’s blood ran cold when he heard the news about the infirmary being bombed by the enemy, enough to bring him to use his fist to finish off an enemy before sprinting over to where he had heard the explosions. the enemy had dealt a low blow and chuuya wanted nothing more than to finish everyone off. along with that anger came a feeling of fear that almost blinded him as he sprinted off to where the explosions came from. you were working in that hospital. if anything had happened to you, there’s no telling what chuuya would do in his anger.

only, he quickly realized that you weren’t in danger. meters away from the hospital, still dressed in your lab coat, chuuya found you with a scalpel in each hand, killing enemy attackers. only, you weren’t just killing them. chuuya could only assume it was rage that consumed you as you straddled an enemy’s corpse, driving your scalpel repeatedly into his face. 

“y/n!” he cried, grabbing onto your wrist before you could bring it down. slowly, you turned to look up at your lover. the rage in your eyes quickly turned into fear as you looked down and saw what you had done.

“i... i’m...” 

“that’s enough, y/n,” you heard chuuya say softly behind you. you dropped the scalpel and looked down at your shaking hands.

“maybe i could have stopped it,” you said shakily. “i should have been on the frontlines. i just want to help people and even now, i couldn’t even do that.” chuuya watched as you covered your face in your hands.

“what am i even good for?”

he knelt down in front of you and pulled your hands away from your face. you turned away from him.

“i don’t want you to see me like this.”

“nothing can change what i think about you,” chuuya said seriously, turning your chin to look at him. with a deft hand, he removed his gloves and slipped them over yours. “all i know is, nobody is born with hands that are meant to kill.” 

you looked down at your now-gloved hands and then up at your lover. he smiled and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“i’ll be heading out now. do what you do best, okay y/n?”

you returned his smile and nodded with renewed determination. “alright.” 

...

you’ve always known about chuuya’s powerful ability and prowess in martial arts, but it was only after you got together with him that you learned about your boyfriend being the arahabaki. at first, you thought it was pretty cool, until you saw the pained expression on chuuya’s face as he talked about how he never really knew why he ended up connected to the arahabaki in the first place. because of his memory loss at a young age and with his terribly powerful special ability, chuuya often felt that he was inhuman.

‘maybe... that’s why he chose to help me,’ you thought, as you watched the vulnerable expression on his face that he only showed around you. 

that said, you’ve only heard about the sheer destructive ability of Corruption but because chuuya only used it in the most dire of times, you’ve never really see it for yourself. that is, until now.

you could tell that chuuya was no longer himself with the markings that covered what was visible on his skin and a grin that stretched across his face. he only activated Corruption when he knew dazai was there to stop him but it just so happened that right now, he was out of reach: floating in the sky while hurling gravity bullets around him.

“y/n,” dazai called out to you. he was heavily injured but somehow still standing. “you’ll get hurt if you stay here!”

“i need to help him!” 

with a loud explosion, chuuya dropped back down to the ground, causing the earth to cave in a circle around him. he turned with his sights set on you.

“chuuya,” you backed away slowly, terrified by his empty gaze. “it’s me, y/n! you can snap out of this!” you pleaded.

“y/n!” you heard dazai yell again. he was running towards chuuya from the other side of the forest clearing. “get out of here, he--”

you couldn’t hear the rest of what he said because with a wave of his arm, chuuya sent you flying backwards until you hit a tree before crumpling down to the ground. you felt your eyes fall shut just as dazai sprinted the last few meters to touch the back of chuuya’s hand.

with his ability nullified, chuuya fell to his knees. his body was wracked with pain from having used Corruption longer than he knew he should have. he felt dazai fall to the ground behind him and turned to find that he had promptly passed out, most likely because of the blood loss from his injuries. ‘so that’s why he couldn’t stop me quicker,’ chuuya thought. it was only after he scanned the ruined area around him that he found your crumpled form lying under a tree.

it couldn’t be.

“y/n!” he cried, hauling himself to his feet despite the roaring pain in his body. he hobbled over as quickly as he could over to you before lifting you in his arms. “y/n?” chuuya called your name again. with a groan, you stirred back into consciousness.

“you’re... back,” you smiled up at him. 

“fuck, i’m so sorry. i did this to you, didn’t i?” chuuya shook his head, feeling his hands tremble as he saw your injuries. “i’m so sorry.”

“you weren’t yourself.”

“i could have stopped myself, somehow!” he exclaimed. “i shouldn’t have let you come along on this mission. i shouldn’t have used Corruption.”

“chuuya--”

“i don’t want you to see me like this,” he hung his head. despite all his strength and connection to the arahabaki, chuuya was still human. and you didn’t care if you had to spend every day reminding him of that. 

“you’re human, chuuya,” you said softly, lifting your hand to his face and turning it to look at you. no one else would be able to see the sheer emotional vulnerability on chuuya’s face as you said those words. only you could make him feel this way. “i wouldn’t be what i am now if it weren’t for you.”

“are you really sure you want this... that you want... me?” chuuya asked. you smiled, sitting up to brush your lips against his.

“i’m sure.” 

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[hydrospanners]

a very velaran life day

every 3 years, wookiees across the galaxy come together to mourn what they've lost, honor what they love, and celebrate the plans they have for the future. and maybe it's a bit weird to be so invested in a holiday mainly meant for wookiees, but no one ever said the velarans were normal. these are the thinly-veiled holiday vignettes about jedi knight nirea velaran's family and those who orbit them throughout the years. chapter 1 of 17. swtor genfic. character background/origins for my jedi knight nirea velaran who is not actually in this chapter but her dad and aunt are. 2283 words. ao3.

25 BTC - Coronet City, Corellia

The twelfth time A Day to Celebrate starts to play, Ranna flings the transceiver against the wall. It flies through the holotree still clinging to life by the window, leaving the neon branches flickering, its motor whining as it struggles to regen the projection.

She hopes it fails, but even her misery is a disappointment today. The tree solidifies into a standard, jolly tree shape and the busted transceiver is just whole enough to keep playing that stupid fucking song.

A day to celebrate, she thinks, bitterness dripping from her thoughts. What the fuck have I got left to celebrate?

Her knee hurts so much she can’t even hobble to the kitchen for a beer to numb the pain. Not that it matters; she drank the last beer hours ago, and it’s not like there’s anyone around to run to the store for her, is there?

“Happy fucking Life Day,” she grumbles, glaring at the transceiver like that might be enough to finally do it in.

It isn’t. Joy to the Worm starts playing and it’s somehow even worse than A Day to Celebrate.

Pain pulses through her leg, her buzz finally wearing off enough that she can feel her legs again, and Ranna desperately wishes she’d given up and gone to bed hours ago. Her parents won’t be back from work until morning and Raad is--

Who the fuck knows where Raad is? She hasn’t heard from him since she washed out of the Academy. He’d been annoyingly optimistic about it--“It’s not washing out,” he’d tried to tell her. “It’s a medical discharge. That’s different.”--but then he’d vanished into thin air and she’d had to take a public transport back home, alone with her beat up go-bag and the enormous contraption meant to be healing her knee. Not exactly the cutting edge of medical technology, but it was the best they could spare for a useless, busted nugget. Anything for the fucking war.

Stars, she needs a beer.

No. Not a beer. She needs a whiskey. She needs six whiskeys. Six whiskeys and maybe a very limber young lady with a nice smile and nicer--

“Happy Life Day!”

Like she summoned him with her thoughts, Raad bursts through the front door. His face is flushed with cold and his are eyes sparkling with excitement, an almost-beard she’s never seen before sprouting across his jaw. He’s aged six years in the six months since she saw him.

Ranna wants to punch him square in his handsome fucking face.

She wants to throw her arms around him and never let him go.

“Where the fuck have you been?” She demands, reaching for the anger because that’s what she always does. Because tonight is not the night for personal fucking growth.

Raad just laughs. “I missed you too,” he says, grinning like everything is just the way it used to be. Like the galaxy’s still full of possibility and adventure. Like her life didn’t just end before it even got started. “You ready to see what I got you for Life Day?” His smile slips, just for a second, while his eyes search for the missing chrono, now one of the six different pieces of shattered transceiver scattered across the floor. “It is still Life Day isn’t it? I know I was cutting it close, but--”

“Oh, it’s Life Day alright.” Joy to the Worm finally ends, but it’s followed up with a static-y Bingle Bells which is even worse. “All fucking day.”

Undeterred by her mood as always--both his most charming and most annoying trait--Raad just beams at her. “Great. Then let’s go see your present!”

Ranna snorts, gesturing to the sixty pounds of metal caging her stupidass leg. “Not fucking likely.”

“You can still ride in a speeder. C’mon Ranna, it’ll be worth it, I swear!”

It’s a tired line by now and she’s never known it to be true, but Raad looks down at her with those big, brown eyes so full of earnestness and excitement and it doesn’t matter how sideways his promises always go. She’s gonna go right along with anything he asks cause she’s a damned fool who could never say no to that pleading look. Cute fucking asshole.

She scowls up at him half-heartedly. “You want me to go, you’re gonna have to carry my ass.”

He’s supposed to laugh--a year ago he would have--but things have changed while she’s been at the Academy. Her little string bean is tall now, half a head taller than her, and that lanky frame of his has filled out. He reaches down, all earnest excitement, and lifts her out of the chair like she weighs nothing at all. Of course, he bangs her caged leg on the door twice trying to maneuver her out of it, but she’s so proud he can carry her now she doesn’t do more than hiss at him when he does it.

And, of course, grab her blaster from the holster hanging by the door. She learned a long time ago not to go anywhere with Raad without proper precautions.

The speeder is not one she remembers, but it looks just like every other ride he’s ever had. The chassis are a thousand years old and beat all to hell, patched in a dozen places with pieces from a dozen different machines, looking like the only thing holding it together is spit and luck. And if it’s anything like his other rides, under all that rust and despair is a pristine fucking engine that looks and flies like it was lifted directly from the speeder of the most corrupt Senator on Coruscant.

“Where’d you get this hunk of junk?”

Raad shrugs, trying to ease her into the passenger seat without much success on the easing part. “She’s a loaner. My friend Telo’s.”

“You? Without a speeder? Never thought I’d see the day.”

Once Ranna’s in, trying very hard to hide how much her leg hurts after he banged it against everything coming and going, Raad swings his legs over the side of the speeder and drops into the pilot’s seat. “Some things are more important than speeders,” he says, smiling that smile he always wears when he’s trying to hide something. He’s the worst fucking liar in the galaxy.

“Not to you,” Ranna says.

“Might be I’ve learned a thing or two since you left.”

Ranna snorts. “We’ll see about that.”

Seeing as how the speeder isn’t actually Raad’s, the shabby exterior isn’t actually disguising tens of thousands of credits’ worth of exquisite machinery under the hood. It’s a rough, stuttering ride to the spaceport. Ranna tries her best not to swear every time her leg gets knocked around by the damn thing, but she knows she isn’t succeeding.

Raad takes it all in stride. He’s in one of those moods where he’s so happy nothing can touch him and it’d be annoying if it wasn’t so damned contagious.

Happy fucking bastard.

Once the speeder is parked and Raad comes round to haul her useless ass out, Ranna throws up a hand, looking at him suspiciously. “I’m not gonna get arrested for this, am I?”

The trouble is, she can’t figure what he could possibly have gotten her that would have to stay in the spaceport. He can’t afford anything big and he’s gotta know she’d have nowhere to store it even he could. Which basically just leaves smuggled shit. Either that or he finally convinced Kalinski to let her have a free swing. She’s been waiting half her life to nail that smug little motherfucker right in his prissy motherfucking nose and she doesn’t want to get her hopes up or anything, but punching Kalinski would really turn her Life Day around.

All Raad says is, “I guess that depends on how you use it. Let’s go.”

Not exactly comforting. And probably not a free swing at Kalinski either. But it’s not like she’s got a military career left to ruin so what’s another fucking arrest?

She sacrifices her dignity on the pyre of his excitement and lets Raad wrap an arm around her waist, half-dragging her through the port. It’s crowded just the same as it always is. Doesn’t matter if it’s Life Day or Election Day or Invasion Day; someone always needs to get somewhere and there’s always credits to be made taking them, so the spaceport is always crowded. Over the noise and bustle, she thinks she can hear the faint sound of fucking Bingle Bells playing on the loudspeaker.

Thankfully, it isn’t far before Raad’s steps start to slow. “Okay,” he says, “time to close your eyes, Ran. We’re almost there.”

“Close my eyes?” She snorts. “I’m already crippled. You want to blind me too?”

He rolls his eyes. “Just do it, okay? I swear it’s not much farther.”

Making a show of her reluctance, Ranna lets her eyes fall shut. It’s disorienting as hell, but Raad is taking so much of her weight he’s practically carrying her over the last few steps to what she guesses is one of the hangar bays. She’s tempted to have a look, just to see if she’s right, but Raad wants to surprise her and she can’t let him down.

“No peeking!” He warns.

“I think you’re overestimating my curiosity,” she teases, and he laughs right in her ear.

They shuffle to a stop and she can feel the way his hands tighten on her waist, the way he’s almost trembling with anticipation. She can hear the faint countdown he’s doing under his breath as he blows out a long, steadying exhale.

“Okay,” he finally says. “Open your eyes.”

She does.

Her good knee trembles beneath her, almost collapsing under the weight of what she sees.

Ranna can’t see his face, can’t look anywhere but straight ahead, at the impossible thing she can’t be seeing, but she doesn’t have to look at him to know he’s beaming like a thousand suns.

“She’s The Golden Gizka,” Raad says. “And she’s all yours, Ran. Right and legal and everything.”

For the first time in months, Ranna forgets her pain. The weight of everything lifts from her chest, and when she sucks in a deep breath of air, it doesn’t even matter that the air down here is stale and stinks of oil and unwashed bodies. It’s the best gulp of air she’s ever had, because it’s her first breath as a motherfucking captain.

“Well fuck me sideways,” she says.

Raad laughs.

“Karking shit, Raad. H--” She starts to ask how he’d done this impossible thing, but then she remembers the borrowed speeder, the way he vanished right after she washed out.

“Now before you go being impressed my noble generosity,” Raad says, “you should know I’m changing the engine codes if you don’t make me your first mate.”

She laughs, trying to ignore the way tears are stinging at the corners of her eyes. “Who the fuck else would I pick?”

They don’t talk about it, but they both know all her bridges here got burned before she left. And maybe that’s why she’s staring down a glorious hunk of junk with her name on the title; maybe Raad figured out why she burned those bridges. Why she left Corellia in the first place. Maybe he feels like he owes her.

She wants to ask, but she doesn’t. Maybe one day she’ll be brave enough to wonder why.

“You keep stroking my ego like that,” Raad says, “my head’ll be too big to fit up the ramp.”

“Shame.”

He laughs, and then he’s dragging her forward, to the lowered boarding ramp of the ship that is, unbelievably, hers. “I know she’s not much to look at--”

“--but she’s got it where it counts?” Ranna finishes for him.

He hesitates. “Uh, no. Not really. She’s pretty much junk on the inside too. But I know this mechanic...”

He gives her a sheepish look, like she’s going to be upset with him for giving her a garbage ship. Like the condition of the thing matters at all when he just gave her a motherfucking starship.

“Raadris Velaran, I know you aren’t out there hiring my crew before I’ve even boarded my ship.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Captain.” He grins one of those shit-eating grins she loves best. “But as your first mate, I’ve got some suggestions.”

“If it’s Daeleth you’re about to pitch, don’t waste your breath.”

Raad’s face falls. “Really?”

“He’s the best starsdamned mechanic on Corellia, Raad, and that’s saying something. Save the sales pitch for him. Stars know we’ve got fuck all to offer.”

“Oh you don’t need to worry about that. I got a plan.”

Raad having a plan was the very definition of something she needed to worry about, but worry could wait until tomorrow. Today, for the eleven glorious minutes left in the best Life Day she could ever remember having, Ranna Velaran wasn’t going to worry about a damn thing.

“Can she get off the ground at least?” She asks.

Raad waggles his brows at her. “Only one way to find out, isn’t there?”

Ranna’s no expert, but she knows enough to know that The Gizka is in rough shape. Maybe rough enough shape that just cranking the sublight could be the end of her, and possibly the end of everyone in a half-mile radius.

But what’s the point of living without taking a risk every now and again?

Head held high and walking under her own power for the first time in days, Captain Ranna Velaran hobbles slowly up the boarding ramp of her very own starship.

“Happy fucking Life Day indeed.”

[anon-e-miss]

Transit of Sparks, 6 - Serial Fic

Joors passed and Prowl remained in the surgical suite. No one had yet to appear to update Jazz on the Praxian's condition. The more time passed the more the saboteur wondered of Ratchet was fighting a losing battlr. It should have given Jazz more hope, if Prowl was still alive at this stage surely we would make it tbroufh, but the Polihexian does not feel that optimism, memories of Prowl's wrenched open chassis and incredible pools of energon make it impossible to feel optimistic. Neither twin voices it any either. They waited close but not too close to Jazz, peering dubiously at Smokescreen when they thought no bot was looking. They cared for the tactician, more than the Polihexian had ever guessed, more he thought than Prowl would have imagined.

They inched over when First Aid took a bitterly unhappy Smokescreen and inserted a feeding line through the secondary intake access on the tiny bitlets abdomen. The access port was so small the intern had been forced to jerryrig an adapter from parts in Wheeljacl's workshop. The Twins brushed their shoulders against Jazz's as the mechling wailed, and the saboteur teeked sympathy and empathy in their fields, and Jazz extended gratitude in his own field. He wanted to pick Smokescreen up and to soothe him but he knew the bitlet needed to fuel. As his tank filled, Smokescreen quieted as he dozed off again.

"Why don't you mechs get a cube?" First Aid suggested one he managed to deposited the recharging newling into the incubator. "That way Ratchet has less to complain about when he's finished surgery."

Jazz did not want to leave, not Prowl and not the bitlet, but he let the Twons nudge him along because there was wisdom in the medic in training glyphs. Beyond that, he had duties of his own and by now, his team ought to have retrieved and examined the slagtard's corpse. Just as he stepped from the medbay, an alert went off in his helm, and he stopped.

"Go along, mechlings," he said. "Got a comm comin' in."

They shared a look and shrugged on unison, and left the Polihexian behind. Before Jazz could speak, a familiar reviled mech appeared. Chromedome slowed his pace when he saw Jazz. Though he kept his frame loose and his field relaxed, the saboteur was an immovable barricade. By now the joor was so late, the hall in front of the medbay had emptied of wellwishers or the loved ones of the wounded. The mnemosurgeon stared the Polihexian down but Jazz did not so much as twitch. He had thought of a thousand ways to kill the mech, all he needed was the right push.

"You his guardmech?" Chromedome asked with obvious derision.

"Nothin' for ya here, Chromedome," Jazz said, keeping his tone mild.

"I hear there's a bitlet," the mnemosurgeon countered. "That's my business."

"Registered as budded," the Polihexian said. "Ain't anymech got a claim but him."

"I bet if they take a deep enough they’ll find a claim,” Chromedome sneered.

“Ya weren’t the last mech to ‘face wit Prowl, ya sure as frag didn’t ‘face’m after the newspark formed, ya don’t have slag for a claim,” Jazz countered as he crossed his arms.

“Real proud of yourself, like sticking your spike in my leftovers?” The mnemosurgeon asked.

The mech was on his back a nanoklik later. It was not an act of blind rage. Jazz knew each strike. His fist shattered Chromedome’s visor and dented the mnemosurgeon’s mouthplate, and his knee crushed the thin plating of Chromedome’s thin abdomenal armour. Visor glowing white, Jazz leaned over the agonized Tagonian, and then crouched by his side. When he spoke, his voice was cold, and cruel.

“Take a step near Prowl or the bitlet and I’ll make ya disappear,” Jazz said. “I can kill ya in a hundred ways ‘n I think I might like tryin’em all.”

“I’ll see you in the brig,” Chromedome bit out with a pained wheeze. The Polihexian shrugged.

“That’s fine,” he replied. “’N I’ll just take the time to let Blaster know ya ‘faced Prowl after ya’d finished the Rites with Rewind. ‘N after that I’ll let Ratch know ya tried to use yer needles on Prowl when he kicked ya outta his berth. Maybe ya erased those memories from yer own processor, to make sure Rewind didn’t see, but Prowl remembers, ‘n we both know those needles leave a scar.”

Jazz stood and after he did, Chromedome struggled up to his ped. Hatred flashed in the mnemosurgeon’s optics, openly displayed with only small pieces of visor remaining attached at the sides and top of the Tagonian’s helm. There was fear too, and the saboteur smirked. An orn in the brig for assault was nothing, but if Jazz reported the mnemosurgeon’s attempted assaulted on Prowl, it was not only the loss of his license Chromedome faced, but a long stint in the detention centre.

“Better find someone else to patch ya up,” Jazz said, gesturing down the all. “Medics here got more important bots to worry about than a cogsucker like you.”

Chromedome may have wanted to argue, but the promise of violence seething in Jazz’s field was enough to chase the mech off. Only once he limped around the corner did the Polihexian relax. Just as he did, a cube materialized and was pushed into his servo. His operative blinked into view a nanoklik later, and he followed Jazz’s stare down the hall. Mirage said nothing, and instead waited for Jazz to relax the rest of the way.

“If you still want to kill him, I’m willing to be your alibi,” the Towersmech said.

“Sweet of ya ‘Raj but I’ll let’m live for now,” Jazz replied. “Ya got the frame to Iacon?”

“It’s been turned over to the coroner,” Mirage confirmed. “After I made my own observations.”

“And?” The Polihexian asked.

“He’s not a ‘Con,” the spy replied. “He’s an assassin for hire, mostly out of Neutral states. It’s possible the ‘Cons hired him, but it seems unlikely. They have their own killers, and they charge less than that sack of scrap.”

[steves-on-a-plane]

Han Solo Sews Well

Words: 2013 Pairing: Han Solo x Skywalker!Reader Summary: So this all started because over the weekend I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special with my boyfriend, and I started thinking about Star Wars characters doing really mundane things like buying groceries and sewing holes in their pants and stuff. Then I had this idea that Han Solo would probably be really good at sewing because, well who do you get to repair your clothes when you’re a smuggler wanted in multiple star systems? And then…well it snowballed from there. Reader is Luke Skywalker’s sister who happens to tear her pants in the presence of our favorite sewing smuggler. (Honestly I have no idea what this is, but I know I like it!)

Your first journey aboard the Millennium Falcon had exposed you to the political struggle between the Empire and the Rebel Alliance. While your act in the ordeal had been minute, you had still contributed to the destruction of the Empire’s planet killing weapon; the Death Star. Sure, Luke was technically the one who hit the exhaust port as easily as if it were a womp rat back home, but you were the one who had given him the confidence to do it. The Rebellion had been won over by Luke’s “Heroic” act and asked him to stick around. He agreed to join the Rebellion with one stipulation, that the rebels allow you to stay as well.The Alliance, of course, took no issue with this. (It didn’t hurt one bit that you’d been a part of rescuing one of their highest-ranking strategists, Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan.)

The destruction of the Death Star moved the rebels away from their base on Yavin 4 to a new home base on the icy surface of Hoth. Life on Hoth wasn’t all bad. So what if it was a frigid, snowy, planet where you would die if you went outside at night? You’d wanted to get as far from your sandy home planet as possible. This was as good a place as any. The other major downside to living with the rebellion? The only friends you saw on a regular basis now were the Captain of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo, and his companion, Chewbacca.

At first Chewie and Han were two of the bristliest life forms you’d ever come in contact with. Now…well they didn’t growl quite as much. They spent most of their time trying to repair the Falcon, which always seemed to be suffering from a broken this or cracked that. Over time you began to suspect Han was deliberately exaggerating his repairs so that he could remain on base longer. This was ridiculous, of course, since no one had told either he or Chewie that they were expected to leave. In fact, they had been invited to stay several times by the Alliance’s Grand Council.

“All done!” You called triumphantly as you stuck your head out of a hatch in one of the Millennium Falcon’s interior walls.

“It’s about time!” Han smirked.

“Well maybe next time you can pilot a bucket of rust with Wookie sized crawl spaces.” You snarled as you started climbing out of the wall. “No offense, Chewie.” You added, lifting your left leg out of the crawl space.

“Oh damn it!” As you clambered your way out of Falcon’s wall, you tore a six-inch hole in the side of your pants.

“What’s the big deal?” Han shrugged. “You can just sew it.”

“Well, I can’t.” You sighed. “I never learned how. Maybe Luke…”

“Luke?” Han snorted. “You’d be waiting a century for him to meditate on which way The Force wants him to thread the needle. Why don’t you just let me do it?”

“You?” You tried not to laugh. “You know how to sew?” You highly doubted a scruffy-looking space pirate like ol’ Han knew how to sew. Or cook. Or do anything domestic come to think of it.

“What? You think this fuzzballs knows how?” He pointed over his shoulder at Chewie, and looked insulted. “Who did you think patches the leather seats in the cockpit?” He raised his eyes brows expectedly.

“Me.” Han declared. He pointed at himself before motioning for you to follow him down the hall. You trailed behind Han through the winding corridor and realized you were heading in the direction of the former cargo hold he’d modified into Captain’s Quarters. When he stepped inside the room you waited respectfully outside.

“What are you doing out there?” He called to you. “Get in here.” You did as he said and stepped inside. You tried not to gawk but it was difficult to do. Han’s room seemed void of any personality. Not that you had expected him to be particularly sentimental, but there were no photos, mementos or signs that anyone lived there. Aside from a cot shoved in one corner there wasn’t much in the way of furnishings. Unless you also wanted to count the overhead lightbulb lazily swinging from its wiring above your head. (Which you didn’t.)

“Well sit down, why don’t you?” He nodded at his bed impatiently before turning his attention to the needle and black thread between his hands. Once that was taken care of, Han knelt by your side.

“Now hold still!” He barked. “The last thing I need is to hear from Luke about how I stabbed ya’ with a needle, alright?” You nodded, craning your neck so you could watch him.

As Han set to work, he put one hand on your thigh so he could hold the fabric of your pants together. His hands were warm. With impressive dexterity, he wove the needle through one layer of fabric, then the next, and back out again. You watched in fascination as he wove the metal instrument back and forth slowly. Each time the needle passed between the layers of your pants you felt the cool of its metal brush against your skin. The combination of Han’s warm hand on your leg mix with the chill of the metal caused you to shiver.

“Everything alright up there?” He mumbled, not looking up nor stopping his work.

“Yeah.” You nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “Just, um, chilly. I’m sure it will Pass.”

“Nah, heating unit’s not great in this part of the ship.” He disagreed. “Chewie and I have been meaning to look into it. It’s on the list. Where’s your coat?”

“In my room.” You guessed, shrugging.

“Well Force, Kid! There’s a blizzard outside every other day here! It’s not the kind of place you want lose your coat on. That’s my coat there at the foot of the bed.” He nodded at a brown pile next to you. “Put that on until I’m done with this. Then we’ll see about finding your coat.” You reached over slowly, careful not to move too much as Han was in the process of tugging his needle out of your pants. The last thing you wanted was for him to stab himself on your account.

You draped Han’s coat over your shoulders, not putting your arms in the sleeves. There was no need for that much extra warmth. You did think about putting on his fur lined hood though since you remembered it being particularly soft. You thought against this too though because again Han’s room wasn’t that cold. All your adjusting caused him to misjudge his stitch. There was a quiet ouch squeaked form your lips.

“I told you to hold, still!” He argued, again not looking up. “I’m almost done now anyhow.” You looked down at where the tear had been to see that Han was about half-way done repairing your pants. The next few minutes passed in silence. You were practically holding your breath to avoid moving. Han just kept quiet, focusing on his work. After a few more moments of this, Han was nearly finished with his sewing. All that was left were maybe two or three stitches.

“Why are you helping me with this?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

“What?” He looked up at you, his eyebrows knit together, his brown eyes waiting for an explanation.

“I mean anyone else around here asks for help and you just sneer at them. You didn’t even want to take us off Tatooine until Ben promised you all those republic credits! You never do anything that doesn’t somehow benefit you. So, what gives?” You folded your arms over your chest knowing full well it made you look like a child.

“Here’s an idea, kid.” Han huffed. “Maybe don’t piss off the guy with the four-inch needle who could literally sew you into your own pants forever?”  He looked back down and wove another stitch into your pants. “I should have just let the farm boy do this.” He complained.

“Let me ask you another question then, since you’re already mad at me.” You said. “Why haven’t you left Hoth? Luke said you’ve been paid as promised. Lea said the Alliance gave you approval to leave weeks ago…”

“Yeah, well if you’ve got all the answers, how come you ask so many questions?” He looked up at you long enough to smirk, before tying off a few knots and severing his remaining strand of thread form your pants. “Pants are fix.” He announced, gently patting your outer leg where the hole had been and rose to his feet. “You’re welcome.” He smirked again.

“T-Thank you.” You said after taking a minute to admire his work. You could hardly tell there had been a rip there at all. It was a job well done. “What do I owe ya?”

“It’s on the house, Kid.” He promised before rolling his eyes. He turned to put away his sewing kit from the crate he’d retrieved it out of.  

“Now I really know something is up.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Han Solo doing someone a favor?”

“It was bound to happen at least once.” He shrugged. “Consider it payment for climbing in the walls if it means so much to ya.”

“Are you gonna answer my other questions?” You asked, moving your hands to your hips.

“Is there ever going to be an end to this interrogation?” He groaned. “I did something nice for ya. Can’t you just accept it and move on?”

“No.” You insisted.

“So you’re mad at me for helping you now?” He folded his arms over his own chest now.

“Yes? No! I just want to know why you went from not wanting to help the Rebellion at all, to now you won’t leave. Even though you’ve had permission to leave for weeks.”

“Who says I’ve got a reason!” He snarled. “And you’re the only person that has a problem with me staying! Last I checked, there’s a whole base of people for you to harass! So, go pester some of them.”

“But I don’t want to hang out with any of them. I like being here with you.” You explained.

“Is that so?” He raised his eyebrows, a cheeky grin formed on his lips.

“I mean you and Chewie!” You backpedaled.

“But that’s not what you said.” Han pointed at you, now full on smiling. “Hey it’s alright, kid.” He walked over to where you were still sitting on the bed. He placed his hand on the bed, one on either side of you so the each of his thumbs were just barely brushing against your thighs. “I like having you hanging around too.”

For once that impulsive Skywalker blood that Uncle Owen had always warned you against, had kicked in. You wrapped your arms around Han’s neck and pulled his face closer to yours. It was an awkward kiss, being that it was your first, but Han was an eager teacher. With one hand, he was supporting your back, holding you. The fingers of his other hand brushed their way through your hair, combing the loose strands. He sat on the bed next to you and pulled you onto his lap.

You probably would have stayed there all afternoon, snuggled in Han’s coat with his warm lips pressed against yours, if Chewbacca hadn’t barged in and interrupted with a low growl. Surprised by the sudden sound, you and Han both jumped apart. Han seemed to relax once he realized it was just his best friend. You on the other hand were still uncertain of the Wookie, and decided to watch him cautiously from behind Han’s shoulder.

“Whatja do that for, Furbrain?” Han snarled. Again, Chebacca growled. “What do you mean they can’t find Luke?” Chewie said something else you didn’t understand. “Alright, alright. Tell them we���re coming! C’mon Sweetheart.” Han said, gently tugging you off the bed. “You’re brother’s gone and got himself lost in the middle of a snowstorm!”

[i-am-agent-washingtub]

The Exile gets a kitten and only barely tries to pretend she’s using it to bother Atton for no reason. No possible reason at all.

(I wrote this months ago after finishing the game but only just found it gathering dust in a folder and it’ll be a weight lifted to shove it off to you guys.)

“Did you find out why the general stayed behind?” Bao-Dur asked when Atton finally made his way up the Ebon Hawk’s boarding ramp, defeated.

“She force shoved me away!” he said in disbelief. “Like, actually shoved me! With the force!”

Bao-dur arched his brow.

“She just– I can’t believe her! She told me to ‘Scram, Rand!’ and flicked her hand at me and–” Atton stomped his foot and huffed.

“That sounds a little short tempered even for her,” Bao-Dur said.

“Well, I mean, yeah, she told me a couple times before that that she was fine and I should leave and she did ask kind of nicely, but to use the force on me? It’s a shady city out there! I wasn’t going to just leave her alone in an alley on Nar Shadda! I don’t remember doing anything to piss her off more than usual… Did I? Did you see me do something to bother her?”

“Not that I can think of. Maybe she’s just finally had enough of you.”

“No, that’s– No. No, that can’t be it,” Atton said, trying to convince himself more than Bao-Dur.

“Well, if she’s not back in half an hour I’ll go check on her,” Bao-Dur assured as he turned his attention back to the workbench.

Atton found Halyn leaning against the communications room doorway with her back to him a few minutes after Bao-Dur had finally gone to find her.

“–and I don’t care if it’s Atton’s jacket or just a sock or even Kreia’s musty old… anything, just pile it all in the box, ok?”

T3-M4 whistled affirmatively from the room. Halyn stepped roughly back into Atton to let T3-M4 pass down the hallway to the center of the ship and he caught her by the shoulders. Atton looked down expectantly at Halyn. His heart fluttered at the applewood scent and warmth coming off Halyn as they listened to T3-M4 whirr away from them. He tried to swallow despite the anxious dryness in his mouth and tried in vain to think of a witty and sarcastic way to greet the Exile for finally returning to them.

“Is there a reason you snuck up so close behind me, Atton?” Halyn asked, emoting at the wall across from them.

The moment had passed. Atton quickly pushed her upright. She turned to face him, leaning against the doorway again with her arms crossed under a bulge in her jacket.

“If you think that was me sneaking up on you then oh, boy, do I have a really neat trick to show you next time we head out somewhere.”

“Is it you finally disappearing completely?”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it; you made it real clear you wanted me gone when you went all Jedi to shoo me off. I get it. It’s just this isn’t exactly the planet you want to be sitting alone in an alley on even with all the major bounty hunters killed. They spring up like weeds, you know. Save the Force powers for one of them next time.”

“One, not a Jedi, we’ve been over this. Two, I asked you to leave. A bunch of times. Then I told you to leave and you got stubborn so, hey, buddy, maybe next time I ask for some time to stare at a box, let me stare at the kriffing box in peace. And, three, I’m actually kind of sorry about that.”

“Right, well, you can make it up to me later. Or start a little right now and tell me why you were ordering that little tin bucket of yours to throw my jacket in a box with Kreia’s musty things.”

“Oh, right, I need some… soft… things for a thing and there’s usually a bunch of dirty clothes lying around on the floor in places they shouldn’t be so I’m declaring all those things forfeit and T3-M4 is going to collect them for me.”

“Not that I like to pry, but that was incredibly vague.”

Halyn shrugged slightly.

“It’s kind of a surprise, I guess. Have you seen Bao-Dur? I was going to ask him for some of his work rags but he’s not around which is why your laundry is now in danger.”

“Oh, he went out to look for you just before this. Probably worrying his horns off that you’re not still sitting in that alley.”

Halyn scrunched her face in an expression Atton couldn’t quite place. He figured there was some amount of confusion mixed with appreciation.

“Right, then I’ll just–” he noted the bulge above her arms shift slightly as she stepped fully into the hallway while speaking, “–hope he took his communicator with him and tell him to come back.” She scooted past him and said something once she reached the edge of his hearing that sounded curiously like a note to herself to ask Bao-Dur to pick up kitten food on his way back. He took a moment to wonder just how much he trusted his own hearing before he caught a glimpse of T3-M4 rolling past a far opening with his jacket in its clutches.

“Hey! Give that back or I swear I’ll sell you for parts!”

“What does a trash bucket like your little droid buddy even need to be that fast for?” Atton huffed as he stepped into the port dormitory with an armful of his own dirty clothes. T3-M4 tittered triumphantly past him with one of his gloves waving above him. Halyn peered out from behind the furthest bunk to watch Atton drop his bundle of clothes in a sudden grab for his glove and begin a new battle with T3-M4 to recover all his dropped items before the droid could scoop them up. He shouted various profanities at the droid while T3-M4 responded in kind with scandalized beeps and whirs. Atton caught a glimpse of Halyn watching them with amusement a moment before T3-M4 resorted to using a low powered shock.

“Stop! I am very proud of your dedication to helping me, T3, but I think Atton has given up enough of a fight to mean he really wants those clothes. Let him keep them,” Halyn ordered and ducked back behind the bunk. “Except for one more sock!”

Atton let out a wordless shout as he tried to protect his many loose socks but T3-M4 snatched one too quickly for him to prevent and flung it over the far bunk to where Halyn sat. It chittered contentedly and slowly whirred out of sight.

“I’m going to get that back,” Atton warned as he shoved his clothes under the second to last bunk. He heard a curious squeak from Halyn as he piled his jacket and gloves on his mattress. “What was that?”

He slinked cautiously over Halyn’s bunk and propped himself up on his elbows inches beside her head. A kitten sat shakily in her lap, swatting at her fluttery fingertips.

“Atton, meet Atton!” she said, brandishing the thin, uneasy kitten in his face.

“Is this what was in the alley box?”

“Wow. What an incredibly warm welcome. Be mindful or I’ll teach him to use your pillow to relieve himself,” she warned and held the kitten close against her chest. Atton eyed a low walled box to her right lined with various cloth items, including a sock or two of his.

“It’s cute that you wanted an Atton to call your very own but if you wanted a cuddle buddy you could have just asked me.”

“You would need to bathe for a solid week before I voluntarily let you touch me, Rand.”

“Hey, now, how many baths do you think that thing has had in its entire life?”

“Counting the one I’m about to give him? More than you.”

Atton frowned at the kitten capturing Halyn’s attention (and fingers in its small, nibbling mouth). The frankly tiniest kitten Atton had ever seen shivered every time it lifted its skeletal paw out to bat a finger and screeched weakly after every few moments. It had a muddy tortoiseshell coat with numerous small mats of muddy fur offset by bald spots and a few patches of thin, wiry fur. One of its ears was mangled at the tip and its whiskers bent erratically. Drab, watery gold-brown eyes darted back and forth piteously from the center of its broad, mucous encrusted face. It was hideous.

“Are you really naming it Atton?”

“Yeah! He kind of looks like you, don’t you think?”

Atton looked at the contentment on Halyn’s face and felt a twinge of hurt.

“Look, he’s a little scruffy, but I think I can fix him up nice and handsome.” She held the kitten up proudly in front of her face. “Here, he’s been smelling your stinky socks so he should be comfortable with you holding him while I go figure out how I’m going to wash him. And check on Bao-Dur’s progress with finding kitten food.”

Halyn gently placed the kitten on Atton’s back and left before he had a chance to complain. The kitten stood where she left it, shivering its little claws through Atton’s shirt and meowing sadly.

“Yeah, you get used to not having her around all the time,” Atton said, struggling to grab the kitten off his back. It began moving hesitantly down his back and Atton felt its claws slip painfully every time he moved. He decided to let the kitten figure it out.

“So that’s your bed, huh? Tiny box of stolen laundry right next to her bed here. My bed’s next to hers, too, see; it’s right there.” He vaguely pointed at the next bunk over and the kitten fell completely off his back. “Not as close as yours, but at least I’m far enough away she can’t just smack me when I keep her up at night talking about stupid things.” He rolled up against the headboard and pulled the kitten into his lap.

“So, if she thinks you look like me, that means I look like a mess (which isn’t surprising) but she also thinks you can clean up nice and I’m pretty sure I can clean up nicer than a street cat so–” he trailed off wagging his finger in front of the kitten’s nose. Atton the Kitten showed no interest in his game. “I can’t tell what’s my lower point; talking to Bao-Dur or a kitten about Halyn and me. The possibility of Halyn and me?” The kitten nibbled tentatively on his finger. “You need to do the name of Atton proud, little guy. Maybe if she likes you enough she’ll start to associate your good Atton qualities with me and then– nope. Nope, I’m done talking to you, cat. Done,” he promised, taking his finger back from the kitten to point at it sternly. He waggled his finger slightly when the kitten softly laid its claws on his extended finger. With a dramatic stretch, the kitten slipped its claws off and scratched lightly at the folds of Atton’s shirt. It curled up gently against him, examining the room with jerky movements and heavy eyelids.  

“Or maybe you’re just competition,” Atton mused. He frowned. “No, that’s stupid even for me.”

Atton the Kitten nestled his face finally in Atton the Human’s shirt. Atton listened to the soft whistling of the kitten’s breathing for a moment, contemplating its small size.

“Atton the Cat’n!” Halyn called, her heavy footsteps thumping toward the dormitory. “Time for your bath.”

“Good luck, mini me,” Atton told the kitten with a gentle pat on its head as Halyn came into view with her sleeves scrunched up and hair pulled back. “Be gentle with him,” he asked Halyn, holding up the whining kitten with one hand.

“If you say so.” Halyn picked the kitten delicately out of Atton’s hand and held it in front of her face, watching it whine. She turned around to leave. “Don’t worry, Atton is in good hands,” she said, hoisting the kitten above her head as she left.

Atton the Kitten let out one last plaintive meow and Atton followed up with an amused sigh.

“This is going to get confusing,” he said to the ceiling as he pulled his legs up and settled into Halyn’s bunk to await her return.

[thedegu]

Three Legs Under a River

also available on Ao3 

After many years shut down, a bot finds themselves in a world they do not recognize. Will they find their way or will they just end up in another pile of scrap by the side of the road?

Power: on

Date: unknown

Time: unknown

Memory banks: 27% functional, 63% corrupt, 10% encoded-see handler

Storage cavity: empty

Battery: charging… 15%

Communications…

   Radio: offline

   Telecommunications: offline.

   Wireless communications: offline.

   Voice box: damaged… go to service center.

Body check…

   FR: online, functional.

   FL: offline, nonfunctional… go to service center.

   BR: online, functional.

   BL: online, functional.

   Tail: online, functional.

   Solar unit: offline, functional.

Sensory units…

   Hearing: online.

   Sight: online.

   Touch: online.

   Smell: online.

My optic censers flicker on lighting up the world around me gathering any information they can glean.  All I can see at first is general shapes and shadows moving about me. Optic units unable to discern anything in the brown environment around my body. As I lift my head component to try and look at my soundings a large thing comes towards my optic censers and brushes away the dirt and that was blocking it.

I look over to the thing that wiped away the dirt on my sensors. It is a human male judging from the red-brown facial hair, and long hair protruding from under the dirty hood he wares.  The human smiles at me, showing his decayed teeth, and long sunbaked wrinkles that deeply line his face. It stirs something in my memory banks but I cannot seem to find the folder I want.

"gad to see that yar work'in," the man says in a strange accent "yar too big fur me to curry, and I think I can patch ya up back at da shop."

I would ask him if this would be a functioning service center but seeing as one of the components that I need repaired is my voice box. So all I can get out is a whine and a clicking sound as The electronics in my head component snap and refuse to make contact with each other. I do wish to communicate with the human but I am not trained in any other way of communication. So the only thing I can seem to do is just look at the man

"now don't stress yarself" the human says calmly "ya just need to come with me and I'll have ya right as rain. Now can ya try to stand friend?"

The man places his hand on my back helping me to get my feet under my chassis. My first attempt fails as I try to stand on my missing appendage and end up collapsing onto my side. I take the new information and catalog it before attempting a second time, this time I succeed in standing on my, now three, legs. I look over my body as best as I can. Now finding it, mostly, in working shape through my exterior is badly dented and damaged. An old car battery is attached to one of my external ports, though it looks like the cable that is attached is not a sanctioned one.

I would have corrected the human though I am stopped again with the only sound being a fast and low sounding beep. When I look up to the man again he gives a smile and gives me a thumbs up. He places his dirty hand in his mouth making a loud whistle that echoes through the area.  At this moment I also take a look around.

I can tell it is dark out through my optical sensors can more than make up for the lack of natural light. So I see the Long-dead grass that fills the area. Along with large scraps of mettle, and what looks to be large boulders protruding from the knee-high grass. The ground is even and flat with little changes in the landscape. In the distance, there is what looks like trees or maybe short building though it is hard to tell from this distance. It is just a dark smudge on the horizon.

It is deathly quiet around me the only sound being the wind flowing through the grass. I perk my ears as I hear movement in the tall grass. I rotate them to pinpoint the movement as it approaches and turn to look, being careful not to fall or trip.

A small droid rolls out of the grass. The droid is a nearly perfect sphere though it is slightly stretched, and is no larger than six inches in diameter. It has a single optical unit in the center of the sphere with which looks up at me.

Accessing robotic database: M.O.S.E. (multipurpose-online-sensing-engine). Duty: recon, and data collection. First made in the year 2[corrupt] by the company [corrupt] [corrupt] Inc. For US army and civilian use.

The small bot turns to the man and the man just sighs and asks, "now where's yar bro'her?"

As if on cue another small M.O.S.E. rolls out of the grass, it looks just the same as the other but is a bit more dented and has a wire dangling out of one of its back plates. The man walks over to the one that has the loose wire and sighs while picking it up.  He gently holds the small droid in his hands and pushes the wire back into the body of it while gently scolding "ya real'y need to be more careful Jerry, I don't want you getting an'thin snagged on this again"

The man turns to me with the M.O.S.E. bot he calls Jerry in hand and makes introductions "little troublemaker is Jerry and the one on the ground is Minnie. Minnie, Jerry this is our new friend. I don't know if they have a name or not, but we'll find that out once we get home. N' I expect you two to be nice to our new friend and to show them the ropes okay?"

The two small bots turn to look at the man and rev some internal components making a small hum from their bodies. The man smiles and places Jerry back on the ground. When he stands again he hits his forehead with his hand and groans slightly before saying "and I forgot to introduce m'self! I'm Allen Benjamin Cotton, but my friends call me Ben, and yar my friend now, so you can call me that!"

Ben threw his head back and lets out a great laugh before sighing and saying "we should head'in back. Suns coming up soon, and I don't particularly feel like burning to a Crip!"

Ben starts walking in the direction of the dark spot on the horizon the two small bots following closely behind him. I stand there for a moment something in my systems saying I need to stay. I try to dig at a memory but find only corrupted files and long strings of unrecognizable code. After a moment of deliberation, I find that fallowing the human would most likely lead to repairs if he is telling the truth.

It is slow going, I struggle to keep up with the other three. Each time they go over an obstacle I need to stop and assess the situation and attempt to figure out how to get over it without my foreleg. Most of the time I am able to predict how to get over any piece of debris or crack in the path, but other times I end up tumbling to the ground. Each time this happens ben stops and waits for me to get my feet under my body again, patiently waiting for me to right myself or to get my one of my leg units out of a hole.

We do not make it to the dark spot in the distance, though it is closer, we instead make it to a long stretch of road.  The asphalt is long decayed, and the once grid-packed cars are now just rusted shells. A few of them have been moved so that they lay in a circle around a toppled semi-truck.

Ben walks over to an opening in the cars where a chain of wire and cans obstruct the path. He gently moves the chain out of the way causing a clattering sound but moves without fear. The two small bots role into the small courtyard whirring and beeping at each other, before going rolling into the large trailer through a small hole in the side.

The small area between the cars and the trailer has three large blue barrels and a large box that is covered in plastic. Ben walks past these things and to the door of the trailer. He knocks three times then speaks in a loud voice. "Merlin we’re home! And I have someone I'd like you to meet!"

There is movement inside the trailer then the door pops open. Ben pushes his way in, keeping the door open for me.

Ben hums and looks around the trailer for a moment. He walks to one of the walls and feels around for a switch. A few LEDs blink to life brightening up the small space considerably. The inside is cramped, filled with scrap metal and computer parts, it smells of rust and decay, but also of someone living in the space.

There are long metal strips along the walls like thing shelving. They lead to the filled shelves and other storage but hold nothing themselves. Except for Minnie and Jerry role along them seeming to chase each other while doing so.

The back wall is made of fabric attached to a pole, dividing the trailer into two spaces. Above my head is a large crudely-made trapdoor that sits open, letting in the moonlight.

"did we happ'in ta get any business while we was away Merlin?" Ben asks while climbing up to reach the open trapdoor.

"no" a harsh robotic voice comes from somewhere I cannot see. "though I believe traders will be coming tomorrow"

"great!" Ben says and closes the door above his head slamming it shut with a clang that reverberates through the trailer.

"Merlin come and introduce yarself" ben teases "ya don't want to be rude now do ya?"

There is a whirring sound as an object comes out from behind the fabric. It is a medium sized bot, still smaller than me but much larger than the M.O.S.E.s. It looks in good condition as it lands on its two feet, making a small clicking sound as the mettle feet meets the metal floor. Its body is shaped like an elongated egg with a set of propellers on either side of its body and a set of legs underneath. Half of its body module is a large multi-jointed camera which swivels around to look at me.

Accessing robotic database: [corrupt], duty: recon and small item transport.  First made in the year [corrupt] by the company [corrupt] Inc. For US army use.

I look at Merlin for a moment, each of us collecting data on the other. Merlin takes a step forward to inspect me more and I go to do the same as well, but I end up tripping and almost falling onto the other bot.

"guess I should take care of that then," Ben states more then asks. He moves a few things around and pushes the curtain aside so that I can see into the back for a moment as he grabs a few things. When he comes back the storage area he is carrying a small foldable table and a box with a handle. He sets the table up next to one of the computers and lays out his tools. It takes a few tries for me to get up on the table so that he can work, but when I do Ben gives a wide smile.

"Alright," he says and claps his hands together "mind if I run some diagnoses while I work on your hardware, to help me know what's going on?"

I would tell him that, that sounds fine but I cannot, so instead I just open the plate on my chest offering the ports there. Ben smiles and looks at the different ports before standing and digging through a box of wires and connectors. It takes a minute, but he is eventually able to find one that works for hooking up to another wire that then connects to his computer.

I feel the data being passed back and forth from the computer as ben gently inspects my foreleg. For the next few hours, ben cleans and repairs me to the best of his ability. Luckily the man knew what he is doing, unluckily he does not have the parts to repair me fully.  The leg he attaches is not made for a unit like me but works nonetheless. Though he is unable to do anything for my voice box beyond a surface cleaning and rewiring so that I do not make it worse when I do use the limited amount of sounds I can manage to make.

"I see yar missin' some data as well," Ben says with a sigh as he looks over to the computer screen "not that good with software m'self but maybe we can extract something or patch anything obvious. If that's alright with ya."

Ben looks at me with his toothy smile. Then presses his lips he pulls up a different file on his computer and clicks a few things before asking again "you okay with me diggin' in yar data?"

I feel what would be me triggering my voice box instead go through my port and into the computer.

If that is what you wish

My thoughts write themselves on the screen. Ben lets out a cheer and pats me on my head unit and says "glad to see ya can talk! Now let me ask ya this, do ya have a name in there?"

I take a moment to search my files before returning

I do not know, though I do believe that I might have something in one of those corrupted files. I also have some that are incepted, that I cannot access as well.

"Alright looks like we have ourselves a challenge!" Ben says and starts going through my numerous files. It is a strange feeling as he forces his way through my corrupt data like I am not controlling my own memories. Though I can boot him out of any I do not want him in any files, though I have no reason to do so.

"ere's something" he nearly shouts, "I think I found some encoded video logs. Just give me a sec to decrypt them… and pull them up on my computer… and 'ere we go!"

Start: video log 001

"this is your new unit" a commanding voice sounds from a man in uniform. He looks down to the dog-like robot below him, then to the woman standing in front of him.  "take good care of it, and it will take good care of you"

The robot looks up to the woman and gives its tail a slight wag before saying in a neutral voice "hello I am Retriever unit 3.87."

The woman kneels and runs her hand over the Retriever's head. She hums and says "hi there, my name is Abby it is nice to meet you Retriever. Everyone is called Retriever may I call you River instead?"

"you are my master, so you may call me what you like," Retriever says in their flat, robotic, tone.

"I'm not your master, were partners."

"I do not understand"

"it means we are equals."

End: video log 001

The memory fades, and I blink back to the here and now. I look over to ben who is still looking at the screen, he rubs his eyes then looks over to me. He runs his hand over my head in a soothing manner and asks, "is it alright if I call ya river as well?"

I do not see why not. I tell him. If you wish to do so.

"Alright, River. Welcome to the family!"

[solarwindandcosmicash]

operation: turncoat turnabout

non-canon operation. guest DM: mod cosmos

prev | start | next

Beetle has asked anyone willing in the party to scout out a possible target for her: specifically, there is supposed to be a rare painting by the elcor artist Forta in a nearby space station. When Vekar, Vasir, and Phos go out to investigate, they find themselves pitted against one another as Phos is indoctrinated with a nanopoison that compels her to try to kill them. Accompanied by Telissa T’Harani, the Apricity’s shuttle pilot, the party manages to synthesize the cure for the nanopoison and save Phos’s life as well as theirs. The party then leaves the station empty-handed, however - much to Beetle’s future disappointment.

summary

Beetle contacts the party and asks them to scout out a target for her. After a brief discussion with Annos, Vekar, Vasir, and Phos hop into the shuttle with Telissa and fly to the station. In the shuttle bay, Phos finds a datapad that Vekar reads that says the following:

Reassurance: do not worry, Nol. Cloviss is providing transport for us to the ‘Citadel’, we’ll meet you there. We are participating in an experimental trial to pay our passage, but it will be better than smuggling or putting myself into debt.

[Failed to send] 

Telissa remembers that Cloviss Bowmer was a scientific prodigy in robotics in AI until legislation pushed her interest towards chemistry instead. Most notably, Cloviss invented Space Tape, a popular material that can be used to patch anything from holes in boxes to hull breaches, albeit temporarily. Either way, Telissa leads the way into the decontamination chamber and then to the lobby beyond.

In the lobby, the party finds three doors and one desk. The first of the doors, on the right, is labeled “Fun Times Room”; the door on the left reads “Testing Center”, and the center door leads to Cloviss’s private chambers. Telissa finds that that door is locked while Vasir goes to search behind the desk, which triggers sensors that brings an animatronic into the room. The animatronic is shaped like a cat with a lab coat and whose name is, fittingly, Kitty Cat. Kitty Cat is only able to tell them so much before informing the party that it needs to hear the executive code before it can divulge more information.

The party manages to stir up enough trouble, by continually attempting to search the desk, that they summon another animatronic, this one a crocodile in a lab coat named Nile the Crocodile. This animatronic is hostile from the get-go, but Phos manages to search the desk anyway, where she finds this note:

Don’t forget: [fox, wolf, jackal, coyote, dingo.]

Various provoking shenanigans result in a fight, wherein another animatronic in the shape of a Sheep appears and is killed after some time; still, it seems the animatronics have the upper hand. Telissa eventually figures out that what Phos had found is the executive code by yelling out three things in quick succession: fox wolf jackal coyote dingo, F-W-J-C-D, and Canidae. She is able to stop the fight because of this and ask numerous questions, where it’s revealed that the test involves having one party member attempt to kill the others and that killing this party member will cause the station to explode. The odds are bleak, and that’s when when Phos shoots Vekar with her shotgun, revealing that she had been infected with the nanopoison that compels her to kill the party.

Telissa makes a break for the labs with Vasir and Vekar, managing to kill Kitty Cat and Nile the Crocodile and then leaving Phos in the labs by collapsing the doorway. This gives them enough time to break into Cloviss’s private chambers, where they discover the instructions for synthesizing the cure. Vekar manages to pull one together as Phos breaks in from the labs, and with some struggle, the party manages to inject the cure and save Phos’s life, as well as theirs. Upon entering Cloviss’s room, Telissa shoots her dead and then shoots the painting Beetle had been after. Vasir collects the key that will open the bay doors, and the party makes their escape soon after.

Back in the Apricity, Beetle expresses her disappointment and surprise at the mission’s difficulty. The rest of the party has solemnly sworn that they are going to kill her the next time they see her.

notable lines + interactions

Beetle: Hey, Assman. Annos: Yep, that’s me, I’m Assman. I love being called that. Thanks. It’s my best feature. It’s really great when people recognize that. Phos, OOC: Wait. Phos leans over - Phos: Does he have a nice ass? Vasir: Keelah. DM: I got a seven, so it’s not his best feature. It’s actually pretty average. You’re not sure why he thinks it’s so great. Phos, OOC: O-kay! Let’s move on.

Phos: Beetle - how difficult would you think it is to steal this thing, considering we have no experience doing this? DM: Beetle gives a giant shrug. Phos: ... Okay. DM: And then she realizes she’s being a huge asshole.

in discord: Vekar: a night in the museum Vasir: ohm y ogd Telissa: dishonored 2 mansion stage Phos: I hope there wont be a dinosaur DM: LMAO Telissa: CLOCKWORK KNIGHTS Vekar: There will be a rachni Telissa: LET'S GO Vasir: THEODORE ROOSEVELT

Vekar: I can’t believe the Assman agreed to it. Beetle: Yeah, well. He owes me a favor. Vasir: You really can’t believe it, Vekar? It’s Beetle. She has her ways. Beetle: I do. And you’ll never know what they are. Vekar, OOC: Vekar dabs in agreement. DM: Beetle mirrors this. Big mood.

in discord: Vasir: VEKAR DABS IN AGREEMENT Telissa: vekar dabs in agreementi can't believe Phos: grEAT start Vekar: notes: but looks really defeated as he dabs

DM: Annos goes to say something to Beetle, but then she imitates static and cuts off the call. Phos, OOC: Oh, lordy.

DM: You arrive in the shuttle bay and you see the shuttle pilot, Telissa, waiting. [pause] DM: [Telissa’s player], that’s you. Telissa, OOC: Yeah! I mean. Okay! DM: Take it away. Telissa, OOC: I don’t even know where we’re going is the problem, [DM]. But uh... yeah. Alright.

Telissa, OOC: I’m Telissa now, bro. It’s gonna be lit.

Vekar, OOC: [restarts his connection] Vasir, OOC: Hey, [Telissa’s player], you could put on some jeopardy music or something while we wait. Elevatorstuck, maybe? Telissa, OOC: Yeah, okay, let me pull it up, since I guess we’re going full meme now. Phos, OOC: [distressed noises] Telissa, OOC: Do we want with meows? Extended? Phos, OOC: I hate this. Telissa, OOC: Let’s go with extended.

DM: I only had ten seconds of the elevator music. Telissa, OOC: I had twenty-two seconds. DM: You had a head start. That’s unfair. Telissa, OOC: Yeah? Well, fight me. DM: I will. Telissa, OOC: Okay.

Annos: Good luck. Telissa: We won’t need it. Vekar: Famous last words.

Vekar, OOC: I look at the sun. Phos, OOC: You go blind. DM: Yeah. Vekar, OOC: So basically nothing changes. DM: You have a disadvantage for perception checks. Telissa, OOC: Oh, more of a disadvantage already? Minus six perception, let’s go - Vekar, OOC: I’m good, thanks.

DM: The lock on the bay doors engages. Telissa: Alright. This is fine. I guess we’re locked in now, so that’s great.

Phos: You take the shuttle you’re flying and smash it through the port if there’s no other option. Telissa: Listen. Vasir: Spoken like a true krogan. Telissa: This is our only shuttle, and if it breaks, we’re gonna be fucked, so let’s not do that, maybe? Phos: Well, maybe the shuttle can handle such a crash. Telissa: Or maybe we can go inside, unlock the doors, and it won’t even matter. We’re wasting time.

in discord: Vekar: 10-4 = 6 Vekar: someone has to carry this team

DM: Telissa goes over to the wall. And it’s a perfectly smooth wall. And she feels this wall and says, “This is actually a floor. We’re standing on the wall.” Telissa: Gravity’s been reversed, you guys! We have to figure out what’s wrong with the mass effect core! Phos: Okay, uh - Telissa: Do you see this? Telissa, OOC: And she, like, slams the wall with her hands - Telissa, shouting: This is the floor! The carpet is supposed to be on here! Phos and Vekar: [try to explain that the wall is not the floor] Telissa: [continues to maintain otherwise for two minutes]

Telissa, OOC: I can’t believe you’re spending time trying to convince me of this.

Telissa, OOC: Telissa is curled in a fetal position and is rocking back and forth against the wall. Vasir, OOC: Vasir goes over and tries to calm Telissa down. Vasir: It’s alright, we’ll figure out the gravity shit. Telissa, crying: But what if we dooooon’t?

Telissa: Hey, so the person who owns this place made tape! And some other stuff, but the tape is the important part, because she got rich off of that. Vasir: ... Okay.

Phos: And I do have Space Tape, so - Telissa, OOC: Wow! Product placement! I can’t believe it! Product placement! Phos, as if Telissa’s player hadn’t spoken: - could use that to interrogate that one human. Cloviss. Whatever.

Vasir, OOC: Vasir follows Telissa to make sure she doesn’t get lost or have a crisis somewhere again. Telissa, petulantly: That was one time.

Vekar, OOC: Vekar follows. Vasir, OOC: Kind of like Magnus rushes in - Vekar follows. DM: Vekar follows - Vekar’s good out here. Telissa, OOC: No. Stop that right there. No more Adventure Zone. Tell me what’s in the decontamination chamber.

Vasir: Are you feeling okay, Telissa? Did you have some - Telissa: I’m peachy! Vasir: ... Okay.

DM: Yeah, the light’s green now, the door’s open now. You all leave that room changed.

Phos, OOC: Both Vasir and Telissa are breaking down. Telissa, with increasing distress: My shuttle got grounded, gravity is wrong, my dance sucked - everything’s terrible!

DM: Door number one is labeled “Fun time” room. [long pause] Telissa, OOC: What’s door number three? Vekar, OOC: Wouldn’t you like to know! Telissa, OOC: I know, right? I would!

DM: You see sensors behind the desk that indicate when someone is there. Telissa: That’s probably not good. Hey, Vasir, maybe you shouldn’t stand there. Vasir, OOC: Vasir glances at Telissa and is like - Vasir: Okay...? Telissa: There’re sensors. Maybe it’ll kill you. I dunno. Vasir: Uh-huh.

DM: There’s also a service bell. One of those things that you ring to get people to the desk. Telissa, OOC: Oh, shit. Vasir, OOC: Vasir looks at it and is like “what the fuck is the point of this.” Telissa, OOC: Telissa hits it. Phos, OOC: Ding.

DM: It’s an animatronic. It’s about eight feet tall and it’s been shaped into the form of a bipedal cat wearing a lab coat. Vekar, OOC: Vekar shoots it instantly. Telissa, OOC: Telissa rings the bell. Vasir, OOC: Vasir is thinking of Muffy and how that - thing - is a horrible approximation of a cat, or a human cat, or whatever the hell it is. Telissa, OOC: Telissa hits the bell like five times in a row.

Kitty Cat: If you do not move from behind the desk, I am authorized to use force to do so. Telissa, OOC: Telissa makes direct eye contact with it and rings the bell. DM: Kitty Cat slaps the bell off of the desk. Telissa: How could you! I was using that! Vasir, OOC: Vasir eyes Telissa and moves away from her and out from behind the desk.

DM: Kitty Cat rolls to remove you from behind the desk. Telissa, OOC: Can I roll to seduce it? Vasir, OOC: Yes! DM: ... I’ll allow it.

Telissa, OOC: I didn’t expect to get this far. DM: Uh-huh. Telissa, OOC: No, I absolutely did not, I - I didn’t think you’d allow it. Can Telissa give it a hug? Can I roll to give it a hug?

Telissa: I don’t know why you smashed the bell, though. That was unnecessary. Kitty Cat: Well... you were overusing it. Telissa: Because no one was coming! Kitty Cat: It was a use of acceptable force. You saw me, and you rang it five times! That was excessive and unnecessary. Telissa: Fine, fine. Still.

in discord Vasir: vekar, phos and vasir and muffy watching this entire thing:

Phos: mood Telissa: i know right Telissa: telissa is just being held by this thing Telissa: asking questions Vasir: this is noveria 2.0

Telissa, OOC(?): I’m here to wreak havoc, y’all.

Kitty Cat: Wow, swear words are censored by my filter, but I sure wish I could use some right now.

Telissa, OOC: Does anyone want to do stuff? Because otherwise I’ll keep carrying on this charade.

Telissa, OOC: Do we even know who the traitor is yet? Like I don’t even know, I - I don’t - Vekar, OOC: We have a traitor‽ Phos, OOC and terribly convincing: Wait, we have a traitor? What? - What’s this about a traitor? [Telissa’s player], what?

Telissa, with misplaced enthusiasm: Who’s that? DM, distracted by typing to Phos: Um... yes. Telissa, with misplaced enthusiasm: Wow! That really didn’t answer my question! Who is that? Kitty Cat: That’s Nile Crocodile - Telissa, with more misplaced enthusiasm: That’s a terrible name! Go on! Kitty Cat: Yeah... we didn’t pick these names, but I really like Kitty Cat, so I’m happy with my name!

DM: Vekar looks at them, and, like, and goes through this kind of mind palace scene, where he just makes all of these connections and looking at all these things, and in his mind’s eye he sees, like, a taxonomy of human animals, and he’s looking at them, and he’s like, “Canidae. That’s what it is.” Vasir, OOC: Oh, shit, Latin, what’s up!

DM: What’s the word? Telissa, with increasing excitement: Grapple? Grab? Wrassle? Wrestling? Vasir, OOC: [starts humming this] DM, crosstalk: Tusslin’. Telissa, OOC, crosstalk: Tusslin’ - goddammit. Vasir, OOC: [laughs]

in discord: Telissa: please just remember that kitty cat is still holding telissa during all this DM: kitty cat is ok with that Phos: princess carrying telissa Telissa: le swoon

DM: Yeah, like, it’s like, this chain in which Crocodile grabs Vekar by the scruff of his neck and is then grabbed by Phos, and Crocodile looks at Phos and - it just looks really tired.

in discord: Vekar: HOW CAN AN ANIMATRONIC LOOK TIRED? Telissa: it's got droopy eyes or somethin Telissa: maybe its lights go out Vekar: fair

Telissa: [shoots Kitty Cat point-blank and misses] Telissa: I’m really sorry about that! Telissa, OOC: And then Telissa tries to book it.

Vasir, OOC: You’re backseat DM-ing! Telissa, OOC, smug: That’s what I do. Vasir, OOC: Bad [Telissa’s player]. No biscuits. Vekar, OOC: I thought you were supposed to be derailing this. Telissa, OOC: Oh, that’s true. Can I seduce the crocodile?

DM: ... And [the sheep animatronic]’s going to close the door behind itself because it’s not raised in a barn. And then it’s going to roll to attack - Telissa, OOC: Can I biotically charge it?

Vasir, OOC: Factor in shields before you just straight-up murder him. Vekar, OOC: Thank you, [Vasir’s player]. Vasir, OOC: I’m here for you, [Vekar’s player]. I’m your friend.

Telissa, OOC: “Explain yourself!” Telissa yells dramatically, and then biotically charges.

Phos, OOC: I’m gonna give it a taste of its own medicine. I’m gonna melee it. Telissa, OOC: Just gonna straight-up punch it? Phos, OOC: Yeah! Telissa, OOC: Nice. Stick it to the man. - Or the, uh, animatronic.

Telissa, OOC: How close is Phos to me? Phos, OOC: I don’t trust that sentence. Telissa, OOC: Listen. It’s fine. Phos, OOC: Hmm.

Telissa, OOC: [sneezes] Excuse me. DM: You’re not excused. Telissa, OOC: Oh. I’ll just - I’ll just go. [disconnects from voice channel]

Vekar, OOC: Vekar pulls out his assault rifle, takes a couple of shots... it’s neat. Telissa, OOC: Neat. Vasir, OOC: Yay.

in discord: Telissa: NEAT Vekar: NYET Telissa: no

Telissa, OOC: This isnt canon, right? So we’re all supposed to die anyway? DM: Oh, definite - I mean, you’re not all supposed to die. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You failed me. But it’s okay.

Telissa, OOC: Yeah, uh. Telissa gets stabbed. She just gives [Phos] a look. A very disappointed look - Phos, OOC: Oh. Telissa, OOC: A very, very disappointed look. And then she takes your wrist and pushes your hand away very gently. Phos, OOC, unbelievably convincing, also check out that word choice: Phos just looks a little bit sad. She’s a little disappointed in herself at this point.

in discord: Telissa: PHOS... GO BACK TO SCHOOL TO LEARN HOW TO NOT STAB YOUR FRIENDS Telissa: - telissa, probably Vekar: im pretty sure THAT's what you learn at school Telissa: didn't you

Telissa, OOC: Telissa drops a Nova. Phos, OOC: Don’t I have to roll a dex save to - Telissa, OOC: Yeah, get fucked, you just stabbed me! Karma! Phos, OOC: Oh, wow.

Vasir, OOC: Are you having fun yet, [Telissa’s player]? Telissa, OOC: Hell yeah, dude. I got to seduce an animatronic, and I just got stabbed, and now I get to have sweet, sweet vengeance.

DM: I would like to add a status update. Sheep is in bad condition. There are, like, leaks now on its exoskeleton stuff, and sparks. Well, not sparks, but it looks gnarly. Telissa, OOC: Someone have a water bottle?

Vasir, OOC: I feel bad. Vekar, OOC: Don’t. Don’t.

Telissa, OOC: Carry us, Vekar. Vekar, OOC: Someone has to do it. Telissa, OOC: Thank you, Vekar. Vasir, OOC: Because Kate isn’t here!

in discord: Telissa: SAVE US MEDIC Telissa: MEDIC Vasir: wait, thats me! thinks vekar

Telissa, OOC: Can I say Telissa picks up the bell, puts it back on the desk, and rings it again?

DM: Crocodile goes to attack Telissa. Telissa: Hell yeah, bring it! DM: It rolled an 18. Telissa, OOC: That hits! Bring it! DM: This is gonna be bad news for you, actually. Telissa: Great! I’m ready!

Vasir, OOC: So your shields are gone, then? Telissa, OOC: Well, most of my shields were already gone because of some fuck. Phos, OOC: [laughs]

Telissa, as she’s being shot: THIS IS FINE

Vasir, OOC: You know what it’s time for? Telissa, OOC: Seduce all the things! Vasir, OOC: It’s time for more elevatorstuck. Telissa, OOC: Oh, shit, you’re right. Vekar, OOC: I’m glad I didn’t open it. Vasir, OOC: Oh, come on, [Vekar’s player]! You’re a Homestuck, too. Vekar, OOC: ... Fine. I’ll look it up.

in discord: Vekar, OOC: Kitty cat is gonna fucking SMACKDOWN Phos

Telissa, OOC: We’re frickin’ walking advertisements for Space Tape. Vekar, OOC: It’ll pick up someday, and we’ll get royalties. Telissa, OOC: Damn.

Telissa: I’m such a dumbass!

Telissa: This sounds, uh, vaguely like a zombie apocalypse, but okay. Phos, OOC: How would Telissa know about zombies? Telissa, affronted: Hey, listen, I consume lots of media, okay? Shut the fuck up. Um... Vasir, OOC: [laughter] Telissa: Uh... Vasir, OOC: Vasir just starts laughing. Telissa, OOC: I try.

Vekar: Okay, guys, let’s fucking book it before the krogan kill us! Vasir: Good idea!

Telissa: Okay, so, so... wait, so the plan is to run, we find the cure, we give it to Phos, and then we run again? Telissa, OOC: Telissa is not having a good day. DM: Telissa’s having the worst day.

in discord: Vasir: vasir investigation check on the bracelets: 19-1=18 Telissa: uh, oh shit = really high, or really low Telissa: there is no in-between Vasir: yeah Vekar: two type of rolls Vekar: SET UP YOUR TRAP CARD Telissa: BELIEVE IN THE HEART OF THE ROLLS Vasir: NAT 20 +4 MODIFIER Vasir: fuck Vekar: i wish i could do photoshop to fucking put yugi with a "YOU TRIGGERED MY TRAP CARD" Vekar: but with a quarian helemt Phos:

Vasir, OOC: Well, [DM], can I try hacking them? DM: Try your best. Telissa, OOC: Wow. Vasir and DM: [laughter] DM: I’m being nice.

Telissa, OOC: [Phos]’s got a posse I hate my life did I break down the door? Did I break down the door? DM: Yeah, no, you don’t get it.

Telissa, in different inflections: We’re fucked! We’re fucked! We’re fucked! We’re fucked! We’re fucked! Muffy: [rolls a crit intimidate] Telissa, OOC: Telissa shuts the fuck up.

Telissa, OOC: [goes through the rules for healing, which included a lot of numbers and calculations] Telissa, OOC: I’ll leave it up to you, [DM]. DM: I have no idea what you just said. I was staring into the void. I heard numbers and my soul left my body. Telissa, OOC: Oookay! I’ll just do my thing then. Hold on.

in discord: Vasir: let us never forget beetles trickshot thru phos's legs Telissa: too bad beetle isn't here Vasir: yeah Vasir: but shes here in spirit Vasir: because fisk Telissa: telissa, if she survives this: i am literally going to kill beetle when i see her again Telissa: telissa: no questions asked i am going to fucking strangle her Vekar: vekar: Not if i get beetle first Phos: mood Telissa: telissa: we'll take turns Vekar: vekar: fair

Telissa, OOC: The player’s weapon launches a single, high-powered projectile wait a fucking minute. Phos, OOC: What? Telissa, OOC: Wait a fucking minute. I have a grenade launcher, I forgot about that. Vasir, OOC: Wow.

in discord: Vekar: Telissa with a blowhorn  sound behind her: GET FUCKED

Vasir, OOC: Watch Phos or Kitty Cat or Nile get a nat twenty and make your armor explode and kill all of us. Vekar, OOC: Wow, [Vasir’s player]. So much for being my friend. Vasir, OOC: Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just saying it could happen.

Vasir, OOC: What was the sheep animatronic’s name? Telissa, OOC, in a weirdly low voice: Sheeeeeeeep. DM: It was Sheep. Cloviss didn’t take creative until later models. Telissa, OOC: ‘Creative’ is a relative term, of course. Vasir, OOC: Yeah.

DM: You kill Kitty Cat. Kity Cat is dead. Telissa, OOC(?): FUCKING FINALLY.

in discord: Vekar: THANK GOD

DM: Crocodile is dead. Telissa, OOC(?): Finallyyyyyyyy. Vekar, OOC: Now only the big, mean krogan is left. Telissa, OOC(?): We’re fuuuuuucked!

Telissa, OOC: Here’s my thought, here’s what I was going to do originally: we should find the cure! And then cure [Phos]. Can we though? Can we actually? Like can we do that without you fucking killing us? Is it possible? Phos, OOC: Well, [the station] is going to explode anyway once I die, so. Telissa, OOC: Oh, that’s right. So we’re fucked anyway, we should go find the cure! What am I doing! DM: I love the process of thinking about things for two seconds. Telissa, OOC: Listen. I used all of my brainpower today on other stuff. DM: That’s fair. Telissa, OOC: I am one-hundred percent out of brainpower.

Vasir, OOC: I’m back. Did someone die while I was gone? Vekar, OOC: Crocodile did. Vasir, OOC: Oh. Well. How ‘bout that.

Telissa, OOC: We can freeze her and then just run willy-nilly through the other rooms. Vekar, OOC, after a pause: That sounds like my kind of plan. Telissa, OOC: Awesome. Let’s do it.

Phos, OOC: [calculating damage] so that’s 8. Telissa, OOC: Hm. Phos, OOC: That’s a pretty weak Carnage. Vasir, OOC, getting shot with this: I’m not complaining.

Telissa, OOC: [Muffy] basically has the equivalent of Vicious Mockery, I just want you to know that.

Telissa, OOC: [rolls a 3] Oh. Whoopsies. Vekar, OOC: There’s never anything good with ‘whoopsies’.

Vasir, OOC: I guess Telissa, ilke, counter-charges? Telissa, OC: Yeah, yeah, Telissa sees this about to happen and she’s like “nooope.” Just like rams [Phos] headfirst. Vekar, OOC: De-nied!

Telissa: You’re not like this, Phos! Be strong! Be strong for mother!

in discord: [party decides who gets to kill Beetle first] Telissa: rock-paper-scissors: 11 Phos: rock-paper-scissors = 13 Vekar: rock paper scissors = 13 Vekar: rock paper scissors = 18 Phos: rock-paper-scissors = 5 Vekar: YES Vekar: GET READY BEETLE Telissa: telissa: THIS SUCKS Vekar: As soon as we see beetle again im gonna spin her around in her heelies and and THEN SUPPLEX HER TO THE GROUND

in discord: Vekar: Vekar at telesa: "The fuck?" Telissa: telissa: FIGHT ME

Phos: What - what happened? Telissa, OOC: I slap her. Phos: Wh-what? Telissa, OOC: I slap her again.

Number of times Vekar’s player says “Vekar follows”: 4 Number of times Space Tape™ is typed or said: 13 Number of times Telissa pats Kitty Cat’s cheek: 5 Number of times animatronics rolled below 15: 8 Number of times Telissa rings the service bell: 7 Number of times Telissa says “we’re fucked”: 11 Number of times someone backseat-DMs: 14 Number of times Telissa slaps Phos: 4 Number of times the DM apologizes: 31

technical notes

Roll for ass. 1d20 → 7 Annos’s ass is average.

The party looks around the shuttle bay. Investigation check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Phos → 16 + 4 → 20 Vekar → 10 - 4 → 6 Vasir → 3 - 1 → 2 Telissa → 1 + 0 → 1

Telissa becomes convinced that the station’s gravitational orientation is incorrect, while Vasir tries to push a door open multiple times, disregarding the button right next to it. Vekar notes that he is in a room. Phos locates a datapad and notes that no one has been here recently.

Telissa goes back to school. 1d20 → 17 Telissa goes back to school and acquires a college diploma in not stabbing her friends.

Phos reads the datapad. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical roll → 6 - 2 → 4 Phos almost breaks the datapad trying to read it.

Vekar reads the datapad. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical roll → 15 + 1 → 16 Vekar snatches the datapad from Phos and turns it out.

Telissa thinks back on what she knows of Cloviss. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 11 + 0 → 11 Telissa knows Cloviss Bowmer is a celebrated figure in chemistry, robotics, and AI. She is also the inventor of Space Tape.

The party enters the decontamination chamber. Random number generator. Phos is infected with the nanopoison, compelling her to kill her teammates.

Telissa dances. Acrobatics roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier + proficiency bonus → 4 + 2 + 1 → 7 Telissa’s dance is a fusion between the macarena and the sprinkler. It’s a little awkward for everyone involved, especially after she makes direct eye contact with everyone in the room.

Everyone checks their sanity. Sanity roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier.

Phos → 20 + 0 → 20 Vekar → 12 + 3 → 15 Vasir → 6 - 1 → 5 Telissa → 4 + 0 → 4

Telissa is near tears. Vasir is near catatonic. Vekar is fine. Phos has been enlightened (with nanopoison).

Telissa examines Cloviss’s door. Investigation roll. 1d20 + perception roll.

Telissa → 18 + 0 → 18 Vasir → 11 - 1 → 10 Vekar → 13 - 4 → 9 Phos → 2 + 4 → 6

Telissa notices sensors behind the desk and a camera pointed at the desk. Vasir notes footsteps in the scattered dirt from a potted plant and deduces that there was an elcor here at some point. Vekar and Phos don’t pick up on anything of note.

Telissa seduces Kitty Cat. 1d20 → 15 Telissa successfully seduces Kitty Cat by putting her hands on its face, staring it in the eye, and winking at it.

Telissa hugs Kitty Cat. 1d20 → 12 Telissa gives Kitty Cat an average hug, nothin’ special.

Telissa persuades Kitty Cat to tell her where to find the executive code. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 12 + 0 → 12 Kitty Cat says, “No.”

Telissa frees herself from Kitty Cat’s grip. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 15 + 2 → 17

Kitty Cat contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 16 + 2 → 18 Kitty Cat successfully contests.

Kitty Cat pulls Telissa from behind the desk, who proceeds to slump in its arms and draw the word “no” out to an almost obscene length.

Vekar sneaks behind the desk. Stealth roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 Vekar sneaks behind the desk, but he trips the sensors in the process.

Nile the Crocodile grabs Vekar from behind the desk. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 2

Vekar contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 3 + 2 → 5 Vekar successfully contests.

Vekar evades Nile’s grip.

The party parses the note Phos had found on the desk. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier.

Vekar → 18 + 3 → 21 Vasir → 6 - 1 → 5 Telissa → 3 + 0 → 3

Vekar realizes that all the creatures on the note Phos found are in the Canidae family.

Telissa goes back to school. 1d20 → 2 Telissa drops out of high school with lots of student debt. Her college diploma is rescinded.

SEE FIRST FIGHT NOTES

Telissa figures out the executive code. She yells out three things in rapid succession: “fox, wolf, jackal, coyote, dingo”, “Canidae”, and “F-W-J-C-D”. One of these causes the animatronics to stop fighting them, albeit temporarily.

The DM drops a shitload of exposition. Telissa asks many questions of the animatronics, now that they are subdued. Vasir learns that there is a cure for the nanopoison somewhere in the facility.

SEE SECOND FIGHT NOTES

Telissa shoots the door with her grenade launcher. Attack roll. 1d20 → 16 The door collapses; Phos is temporarily trapped in the testing room.

Vasir hacks Cloviss’s door. Decryption roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 13 + 4 → 17 Vasir opens the door to the private quarters.

DM notes: Considering Telissa actually rolled a perception check on the door itself, the fact there was a console near it should have definitely come up sooner.

Telissa listens to see if there’s anyone behind the door. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 10 + 0 → 10 Telissa can’t hear anyone.

Telissa, Vekar, and Vasir exploer the room. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vasir → 17 - 1 → 16 Vekar → 13 + 3 → 16 Telissa → 3 + 0 → 3

Vasir and Vekar find the directions to make the cure to the nanopoison, as well as a note that says there is a dose of the cure on Clovis

Telissa, Vekar, and Vasir try to synthesize the cure. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier.

Vekar → 19 + 3 → 22 Telissa → 16 + 0 → 16 Vasir → 4 - 1 → 3

Vekar successfully synthesizes the cure.

SEE THIRD FIGHT NOTES

Telissa shoots Cloviss on sight. Attack roll. 1d20  → 15 This is sufficient to hit.

Telissa shoots Clovis and kills her.

Vasir checks out the room. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 18 - 1 → 17 Vasir finds the painting by the elcor artist Forta on the wall, which Telissa proceeds to shoot up. They also find the key that will allow them to open the shuttle bay doors.

FIRST FIGHT

Nile the Crocodile grabs Vekar from behind the desk. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 17

Vekar contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifer → 5 + 2 → 7 Vekar fails to contest.

Nile grabs Vekar and pulls him away from the desk.

Phos pulls Vekar from Nile’s grip. Strength check. 1d20 + strength modifier → 19 + 4 → 23 Phos grabs Nile the Crocodile, which causes it to lose its grip on Vekar. Vekar escapes unscathed.

Phos ties up Nile the Crocodile with space tape. Strength check. 1d20 + strength modifier → 10 + 4 → 14

Nile the Crocodile contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 10 Nile fails to contest.

Phos ties Nile the Crocodile up with tape, though she insists on calling it “pacify” instead of “tying”.

Telissa shoots Kitty Cat. Attack roll. 1d20 → 13 This is not sufficient to hit.

Telissa misses a shot point-blank. Kitty Cat is disappointed in their short-lived relationship.

Telissa escapes Kitty Cat’s grip. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 14 + 2 → 16

Kitty Cat contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 13 + 3 → 16 Kitty Cat successfully contests.

Telissa almost escapes, but Kitty Cat grabs her ankle at the last second.

Vasir hacks Kitty Cat. AI Hack roll. 1d20 + technical modifier + proficiency bonus → 14 + 4 + 1 → 19 Vasir successfully hacks Kitty Cat, immobilizing it.

Nile the Crocodile realizes that Kitty Cat has been hacked. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → unknown Nile the Crocodile realizes what’s happened to Kitty Cat.

Vekar hacks Nile the Crocodile. AI Hack roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 20 + 1 → 21 Vekar successfully hacks Nile the Crocodile, immobilizing it.

Sheep realizes its friends are in danger. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifer → unknown Sheep knows Kitty Cat and Nile the Crocodile have been hacked, despite not being in the same room.

Sheep melees Vekar. Attack roll. 1d20 → 20 Crit.

Damage. 1d8 x 2 → 7 x 2 → 14 Vekar takes 14 points of damage.

The party rolls initiative. 1d20.

Phos → 12 Telissa → 9 Vasir → 5 Vekar → 3

Telissa charges Sheep. Attack roll. 1d20 → 18 This is enough to do damage.

Damage roll. 1d10 → 10 Telissa hits Sheep for 10 points of damage.

Nile the Crocodile unhacks Kitty Cat. AI Hack roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 18 Nile successfully unhacks Kitty Cat.

Kitty Cat is added to the order.

Phos stabs Sheep. Attack roll. 1d20 → 15 This is not sufficient to hit.

Phos tries to stab Sheep over the desk, but Sheep dodges out of the way.

Vasir uses Overload on Sheep. Attack roll. 1d10 1d20 → 5 This is not sufficient to hit.

Vasir’s program misses Sheep entirely.

DM notes: Vasir’s player should have been allowed to reroll a d10, especially since this was clarified directly after the roll.

Vekar uses Cryo Blast on Sheep. Attack roll. 1d10 → 7 This is sufficient to hit.

Sheep resists Cryo. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 17

DM notes: Vekar should have rolled damage.

Sheep is not frozen.

Kitty Cat untapes Nile the Crocodile. AI Hack roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 13 Kitty Cat successfully untapes Nile the Crocodile.

Sheep melees Phos. Attack roll. 1d20 → 9 This is not sufficient to hit.

Sheep’s punch misses Phos completely.

Phos melees Sheep. Attack roll. 1d20 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 1d8 → 3 Sheep takes 3 points of damage.

Telissa shoots at Sheep with her pistol. Attack roll. 1d20 → 14 This is not sufficient to hit.

Telissa’s shot goes wide.

Vasir uses Energy Drain on Sheep. Attack roll. 1d10 1d20 → 17 This is sufficient to hit.

DM notes: somehow this went from hitting and doing damage to missing entirely. It would have been fairer to do some kind of improvisation for damage, despite the wrong die was rolled.

Vekar shoots Sheep with his assault rifle. Attack roll. 1d20 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 3d4 → 3 + 3 + 2 → 8 Vekar shoots Sheep for 8 points of damage.

Kitty Cat realizes Nile the Crocodile has been hacked. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → unknown Kitty Cat notices that Nile the Crocodile has been hacked.

Kitty Cat unhacks Nile the Crocodile. AI Hack roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → unknown Kitty Cat fails to unhack Sheep.

Sheep melees Vekar. Attack roll. 1d20 → 19 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 1d8 → 4 Vekar takes 4 points of damage.

Phos melees Sheep. Attack roll. 1d20 → 2 This is not sufficient to hit. Phos hits Telissa instead.

Damage roll. 1d8 → 7 Telissa takes 7 points of damage.

DM notes: This was very cool and sneaky, but since it’s a 2 and not a crit fail, Telissa’s armor class should have been taken into consideration.

Telissa drops a Nova. Attack roll. 1d20 → 20 Crit.

Phos contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 19 + 2 → 21 Against a nat20, this is only a partial save.

Sheep contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → unknown Sheep fails to save.

Damage roll. 2d4 x 2 → 7 x 2 → 14 Telissa deals 14 points of damage to Sheep and 7 points of damage to Phos. Both are prone.

DM notes: it was promptly forgotten that Sheep and Phos were prone.

Vasir uses Sabotage on Sheep. Attack roll. 1d10 → 8 This is sufficient to hit.

Sheep is killed when the program hits.

Kitty Cat frees Nile the Crocodile from the Space Tape. Attack roll. 1d20 → unknown Kitty Cat frees Nile from the Space Tape.

Vekar shoots Kitty Cat. Attack roll. 1d20 → 17 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 3d4 → 11 Kitty Cat takes 11 points of damage.

Kitty Cat unhacks Nile the Crocodile. AI Hack roll. 1d20 + technical roll → unknown Kitty Cat successfully unhacks Nile.

DM notes: Vekar hacked Nile with a nat20; that should have been taken into consideration, especially if Kitty Cat hadn’t rolled a crit.

Nile the Crocodile is added to the order.

Nile the Crocodile attacks Telissa. Attack roll. 1d20 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 2d8 → 14 Telissa takes 14 points of damage.

Phos wrassles Kitty Cat. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 5 + 4 → 9

Kitty Cat contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 20 Kitty Cat successfully contests.

Phos does not manage to subdue Kitty Cat, who retaliates.

ADDITIONAL ACTION: Kitty Cat subdues Kitty Cat. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 15

Phos contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 7 + 4 → 11 Phos fails to contest.

Vasir, OOC, in discord: Get Space Taped™!

SECOND FIGHT

Phos shoots Vekar with her shotgun. Attack roll. 1d20 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 2d8 → 10 Vekar takes 10 points of damage.

Cloviss notices the animatronics have been given the executive code. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 20 Cloviss rescinds the executive code; the animatronics are hostile again and join forces with Phos.

Vekar uses Cryo Blast. Attack roll. 1d20 → 20 Crit.

Phos is frozen solid.

Vasir and Vekar runs past Nile the Crocodile. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier.

Vasir → 17 + 1 → 18 Vekar → 16 + 2 → 18

Nile contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 14 Nile fails to contest.

Vasir and Vekar slip past Nile into the testing chambers.

The party looks around the testing rooms. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Telissa → 13 + 0 → 13 Vasir → 10 - 1 → 9 Vekar → 9 - 4 → 5

Telissa notices the testing bracelets are wired to deliver an electric shock.

Vasir checks out the bracelets. Investigation roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 18 - 1 → 17 Vasir realizes they could possibly weaponize the bracelets.

Vasir hacks into the bracelets. Hacking roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 20 + 4 → 24 Vasir successfully weaponizes the bracelets so that they deliver a powerful electric shock upon contact.

Telissa breaks down the testing door. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 Telissa doesn’t manage to break down the door.

Vekar uses Cryo Blast on the door. Attack roll. 1d10 → 8 Vekar hits the door and reduces its structural integrity.

Telissa biotically charges the door. Attack roll. 1d20 → 14 This is not enough to break down the door.

Phos steps on the electrified bracelets. Damage roll. 1d8 x crit → 6 x 2 → 12 Phos takes 12 points of damage.

Vekar heals Telissa. Effectiveness roll. 1d20 → 10 Healing will be 2d4.

Healing roll. 2d4 x Medicine talent → 8 x 2 → 16 Telissa is healed fully.

The party rolls initiative. 1d20.

Vasir → 14 Phos → 11 Telissa → 11 Vekar → 10

Nile the Crocodile shoots Vekar. Attack roll. 1d20 → 16 This is suficient to hit.

Damage roll. 2d8 → 16 Vekar takes 16 points of damage and falls unconscious.

Vekar rolls a death saving throw. 1d20 → 14 Vekar saves successfully.

Vasir uses Incinerate on Phos. Attack roll. 1d10 → 1 Vasir takes 3 points of damage.

Phos shoots Vasir with her assault rifle. Attack roll. 1d20 → 7 This is not sufficient to hit.

Phos’s shot goes wide.

Muffy intimidates Telissa into shutting up. Intimidation roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 20 Telissa is cowed and shuts up whenever Muffy so much as looks in her direction.

Telissa revives Vekar using some of his medi-gel. Revive roll. 1d20 → 20

Healing roll. 4d4 → 4 + 3 + 4 + 1 → 12 Telissa successfully revives Vekar and heals him for 12 points of health.

Vekar stands up.

Kitty Cat melees Vekar. Attack roll. 1d20 → 11 This is not sufficient to hit.

Vekar ducks under the blow.

Nile the Crocodile shoots Vasir. Attack roll. 1d20 → 2 This is not sufficient to hit.

Crocodile’s shot goes wide.

Vasir shoots Phos with their pistol. Attack roll. 1d20 → 4 This is not sufficient to hit.

Vasir’s shot goes wide.

Free action. Vasir commiserates with Nile.

DM notes: we almost skipped Vasir’s turn here.

Phos shoots Telissa with her shotgun. Attack roll. 1d20 → 7 This is not sufficient to hit.

Phos’s shot goes wide.

Telissa shoots at the enemy party with her grenade launcher. Attack roll. 1d20 → 15

Phos, Nile the Crocodile, and Kitty Cat dodge. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier.

Kitty Cat → 19 Phos → 15 + 2 → 17 Crocodile → 7

Damage roll. 5d6 → 2 + 4 + 3 + 6 + 4 → 19 Nile takes 19 points of damage.

Vekar activates Tech Armor. Effectiveness roll. 1d20 → 20 Vekar gains 20 additional health points. Upon depletion, the tech armor will explode for 2d6 damage.

Kitty Cat disarms Telissa. Dexterity roll. 1d20 → 16 + 2 → 18

Telissa contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 → 17 + 2 → 19 Telissa successfully contests.

Telissa yells, “MINE,” and bats Kitty Cat away.

Nile the Crocodile shoots Vekar. Attack roll. 1d20 → 6 This is not sufficient to hit.

Nile’s shot goes wide.

Vasir uses Incinerate on Kitty Cat. Attack roll. 1d10 → 2 Vasir‘s Incinerate fizzles out and takes 1d6 → 4 points of damage.

Phos shoots Telissa with her shotgun. Attack roll. 1d20 → 12 This is not sufficient to hit.

Telissa shoots Kitty Cat with her pistol. Attack roll. 1d20 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 2d4 → 6 Kitty Cat takes 6 points of damage and is killed.

Vekar shoots Nile the Crocodile with his assault rifle. Attack roll. 1d20 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 3d4 → 9 Nile the Crocodile takes 9 points of damage and is killed.

Vasir shoots Phos with their pistol. Attack roll. 1d20 → 8 This is not sufficient to hit.

Vasir’s shot goes wide.

Phos shoots Vasir with Carnage. Attack roll. 1d20 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 2d8 + Carnage (2d8) → 1 + 3 + 1 + 3 → 8 Vasir takes 8 points of damage.

Telissa runs past Phos. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 11 + 2 → 3

Phos contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 10 + 2 → 12 Phos fails to contest.

Telissa slips by Phos back into the main lobby.

Vekar uses Cryo Blast on Phos. Attack roll. 1d10 → 8 Phos is partially frozen.

Phos charges Vekar.

Telissa biotically charges Phos. Attack roll. 1d20 → 17 Damage roll. 1d8 → 8

Phos contests. Attack roll. 1d20 → 6 Damage roll. 1d8 → 3

Telissa charges Phos, stopping her from atacking Vekar. Both take damage.

Vekar injects Phos with the cure. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 2 → 20

Phos contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 2 → 20 Phos successfully contests.

Vekar and Phos struggle on the floor, neither of them gaining an upper hand.

Vasir injects Phos with the cure. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 20 + 1 → 21

Phos contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 9 + 2 → 11 Phos fails to contest.

Vasir grabs the cure from Vekar and injects Phos with it.

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