Poldine has been shorn! It was my first time shearing a llama and her first time being shorn, so, a big adventure for us both. I'll make a longer post about it tomorrow but first of all, let me post my new favourite photo of her ever.
She looks like if eggs were mammals.
She looks like a Vermicious Knid upside down with a beard.
Nooooo just kidding you're cute<3
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THOUGHT GAINED: INFERNAL ENGINES
PROBLEM
The world is ending. You know it, your neighbor knows it, the dealer knows it, the jailer knows it, the king and all his men know it. All one has to do is look around to see it— the future is curdling into something pale and incorporeal. The infernal machine that is this stupid world is going to blow, sooner rather than later. So what are you doing? Why are you still here? Why is anyone still here?
SOLUTION
You are doing the only thing worth doing. You are living. *Why,* you ask? Try and remember now. Remember your mother’s hand on your shoulder. Remember the taste of a fresh catch. Remember the times when you were kind to the dogs in the valley and they did not bare their teeth. Remember the weight of a child on your shoulders. Remember the stars throwing their light against the wall of sodium and smog. Remember singing until your throat was raw. Remember crying just as loudly and publicly, and the gentleness with which someone opened your curled fist and pressed a handkerchief into your palm. Crying, laughing, running, eating, screaming, haunting, loving, fighting, fighting, fighting. The fight fuels you, and you fuel the fight. You run yourself ragged just for a chance to keep running. You never stop. You cannot stop. The world depends on it. *You* are the infernal engine. You are the world. And, simply put: you want to live.
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
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I was working on a new fic that I was really looking forward to, but in light of recent revelations, I'm gonna be taking a step back I think
also i removed him from the member masterlist and all of his fics, excluding things like YIMA and the poly series which I'm considering re-editing to get rid of him
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You know. I have Thoughts now about Olric.
I originally wanted him added as a romance option (as do many others) and I think I changed my mind! I love him and he's amazing and supportive and he likes rocks but what I think so far that I really super love for him? Is how friendly he is and so far (I'm not far) he has zero romance related lines. Like he's not a romance option, but looking at the other NPCs (the innkeeper/wife, the general store owner/wife, the retired socialite who talks about past flings) I think Olric stands out as possibly the only one I can hope for aroace representation.
Let this guy just exist with the most positive vibes ever because he's just a good guy with positive vibes for everyone.
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