#mental health advocacy

[glitchdollmemoria]

please can we stop describing bigots as delusional. please. im so fucking tired. someone being sucked into a hate group surrounded by others who believe minorities should be oppressed and encouraging them to believe in conspiracy theories that the rest of the group believes, is fundamentally different from someone having a mental illness that causes delusions.

delusions, by definition, cannot be explained by things like cultural background - such as having a belief constantly reinforced by intentional attempts to rationalize it for the sake of maintaining power over minorities. yes, someone can be both delusional and a bigot, and yes conspiracy theories can feed into delusions, but the two are not fucking synonymous.

i did not spend my teen years convinced that i was being stalked by demons just to hear so many of you people equate my disability with incel behavior and genocidal propaganda. stop reinforcing harmful connotations about mental health struggles.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

what also gets me about people being so adamant about using the word "narcissist" or some form of it to describe shitty people is...there are other words. I was just watching a drew gooden video and he said "If you knowingly take part in something that has the potential to put other people in harm's way and you still do it cause it's kind of fun for you, you are selfish and you suck." (It's the gender reveal party.)

Just seeing how many commentary YouTubers, especially more leftist ones that talk about the heavier side of things like misogynists and seeing them use the term narcissistic or delusional is just. We HAVE other words we can use! We HAVE USED other words for years before narcissistic became a big trend to say and narcissistic abuse really ramped up as a pop psychology trend.

It is literally SO easy to use other words. You can Google similar words. Selfish, self centered, self righteous, egotistical, arrogant, entitled. One of the best words I find is probably entitled. Because a lot of bigots and misogynists and shit that usually get delusional and narcissistic thrown at them are really more self centered, arrogant, and entitled. Self interested, self obsessed. Especially since for abusers, misogynists, other shitty people, the entitled comes from the fact it is NORMALIZED!!!!! It is not a bunch of narcissists harming people, it is a society, a world, that has normalized this behaviour. They are entitled, they are abusive, they are selfish, they are cruel. There are so many OTHER WORDS to describe your abuse, to describe shitty people. Just call them abusers or bigots for fucks sake. And even if some delusional people may get roped into it cause they're vulnerable, typically it is a lot of people who are INTENTIONALLY doing it. It is normalized, it is allowed!

All we narcissists ask is that you not use a word that demonizes us. "There's a difference" yet other people say there isn't, other people say NPD isn't even fucking real, other people say pwNPD ARE abusive. If we used any kind of other word for the more "talked about" disorders, there would be a problem. We ask that you change it, we ask that you use other words, we ask that you not further add to the stigma. The same stigma that BPD deals with, that autistic people deal with, that any neurodivergent person deals with. The stigma and demonization is something ALL neurodivergencies have fucking faced!!! It may have moved away from demonization for a lot of disorders, but there ARE people that DO still believe it.

We fucking ask you literally use any other word. And you refuse to. You refuse to listen to us. You refuse to believe us when we tell you the harm it has and how it actually prevents us from finding resources. You say "of course a narcissist would want that." You see it as an attack on you and your trauma. You are throwing trauma victims at risk of abuse under the bus because you want to feel vindicated in your own trauma. You completely ignore any critical thinking of what we say to turn it against us, to ignore us, to bring up your own trauma as a defense point. Yes, you were abused by someone and it is terrible that happened. So were we!!! My abusive mom probably has NPD, but it did not affect the abuse I faced, it only add strains in our relationship outside of the abuse that still affect us to this day.

It is SO easy to find another word, to literally just listen to us, to not throw us under the same fucking bus. To not group us in with abusers and rapists and child sex offenders and murderers. Would you fucking like to be compared to your abuser? Pretty sure you fucking wouldn't. So why is it okay to do to us?

Some people will never listen. No matter what I say, it does not matter. As with any kind of thinking along these lines. But for those that are still reachable, please. Listen to us. And what would you even do if you found yourself having NPD traits? Wouldn't it be terrifying to see that in yourself? Because I sure as hell thought it was. It made me hate myself and further believe that I could NEVER do any wrong because I wasn't like my narcissistic abusers and worsened my relationship difficulties. A fair bit of narcissists on here had also fallen into that same hole. It doesn't heal you. It keeps you angry, scared, upset. It makes you want to hurt them back. And that will not heal you. It'll keep you defensive. It's keeping you in a victim mentality and preventing healing.

To the ones that ARE reachable, I hope you can learn something from my posts, from posts I reblog, or from any other posts. It starts with narcissists and "psychopaths" (antisocials), but it is the same place the stigma of every neurodivergency and mental disorder stems from. It's why other disorders may still get demonization from some ableists. That a lot of autistic experiences were based around how it affected OTHER PEOPLE like "think of their mom having that autistic kid :(" it is not anything new. It is the same ableism and stigma. It is less demonized for other disorders now, focusing more on treating it as no big deal, ignoring the actual difficult symptoms of such disorders (like if you have poor hygiene, people will judge you regardless), or even infantilization. There IS still stigma, but the stigma was once the same as us, demonization. It comes from the same place. It's things said about other disorders still today even if it is rarer. It's just more well known for the "scary" personality and psychotic disorders since there is a big push to destigmatize things like depression, anxiety, OCD, autism.

Do not throw us under the bus. It will do nothing. It is the same fucking stigma, the same fucking arguments. Like gay people throwing trans people under the bus, they're called the same things even if it seems like they aren't. It comes from the same bigotry, the same place of hatred.

It is not new, it is not different, it just is more common for personality disorders, psychotic disorders, and schizospec disorders. So when we bring up these things, mention how using the term directly associated with a disorder in the DSM V and how it prevents us getting help, how using the term narcissistic DOES correlate to NPD, please fucking listen.

Cause nothing will ultimately benefit you for continuing down that rabbit hole. Narcissistic abuse believers don't help victims of abuse, those articles and questions don't help you heal. It keeps you angry how anyone could do that, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and desire to find meaning and logic out of it. The reality is, you may never know why or at least not until you are away from the abuse.

We are trauma victims as well. We are still at risk of abuse because of our disorder. I would genuinely stay with an abuser just for the sake of narc supply regardless of how they hurt me if I did not have a good support system. For our "toxic" traits, we cannot work on them without help and the idea of narcissistic abuse pushes stigma further which prevents us from even finding free online resources, let alone if we actually tried to seek any fucking help.

Narcissistic abuse is not real and it will never be. Please fucking include us in "mental health matters" and the push for destigmatizing disorders. We are fucking humans that need help. And even if we were all toxic and selfish hypothetically, removing the ability to find resources or get help is NOT the way to go.

Even when I believed in narcissistic abuse, I would search to find answers on why I aligned with NPD if I wasn't an abuser or a bad person. I was terrified to even suspect it despite how much attention and love and supply I needed and how that applied to the very essence of my being. Even when I examined my own actions, all I found was treating it as if they're the utter worst of humanity. Even with my toxic and unhealthy acts because I was a fucking traumatized teen with no experience for relationships of any kind especially not healthy ones, I could not find answers or help. And all that did was reassure me that I WAS the good person, that I was JUSTIFIED in my toxic desires because I was traumatized. It did not help me with my emotional regulation, it worsened it.

Even if narcissists WERE all abusers or toxic and bad, they deserve fucking help and a chance to be able to see their actions in a better light. Some people may never change, but plenty will if given resources and actual professional help. The idea of narcissistic abuse refuses that and just demonizes it and NOBODY wants to be demonized, NOBODY wants to believe they're a bad person. The term narcissistic abuse and the environment and community surrounding it is toxic. It always will be. That is inherently what it is about. It kept me terrified that someone might call me an abusive narcissist because of my emotional difficulties, that someone would take me out of context and turn me into a monster like my family had done my entire fucking life. It keeps you defensive, it keeps you scared, it keeps you mistrustful, it keeps you in those trauma responses. It does not fucking help victims find peace of mind or heal. It keeps you triggered.

Also NPD isn't just a single disorder on its own. It's comorbid or the person could be ND in other ways. BPD + NPD, it has some genetic factors so a narcissistic parent may increase likelihood you have it, there are DID systems with it. You are not just throwing people with purely ONLY NPD under the bus, but whoever else may have it that may also fall under many other categories. I'm autistic and have NPD, I'm a system with NPD, I'm schizospec and psychotic with NPD. I have ADHD and NPD. They may not be directly related and comorbid, but I do still fall under these other categories. So autistics throwing people with NPD under the bus does nothing for the narcissists that are also fucking autistic. So by throwing narcissists under the bus, you are throwing a LOT of people with that disorder that also have other forms of neurodivergency under the bus as well. And the stigma all comes from the same place anyway.

[anotherblogforborderlines]

On the topic of NPD and "narcissistic abuse".

So, I've been a victim of a few abusive relationships. I've been starved, guilt tripped, gaslit (to the point I STILL have trouble figuring out if I'm right about something that has been confirmed several times.) And out of the few people I was hurt by, do you know how many of them were diagnosed narcissists?

One. Just one. Though, the others were autistic. Hell, even severely depressed! But I'm not out here advocating against "autistic abuse." That sounds pretty ableist, right?

So what gives you the right to do that to people who are also struggling? How would you feel if a psychiatrist or therapist told you that you were evil or could not be helped due to a disorder. How would you feel if when trying to figure yourself out and going through the symptoms, all you find are articles upon articles of how you're inherently abusive and no one should love you or give you any attention?

If someone is abusing you, it is not BECAUSE they are a narcissist. It's not BECAUSE they have a disorder you seem as uncouth or scary. And you're not wrong for being upset or angry about your abuse. You deserve to feel your feelings!!!

But when you start shooting down your fellows in struggling with mental illness, you drag us all down. You make the people you claim to care for feel unsafe.

Do better. Be better to people. Encourage people to get help if you notice dangerous or hurtful behavior. You can be hurt, but don't let your actions further hurt others and perpetuate the cycle.

[crippledpunks]

don't judge the severity of someone's disability based upon whether or not they use mobility aids, are on disability, take medications, seek medical care, or how much/often they show symptoms that others can see. you have no idea what is going on inside of a person's body, these things are not required for someone to be disabled. be respectful and mind your own business.

[girlcalledwhatsername]

One of those "is it worth it" debates i find myself having with myself is about mental health related posts that may make good points otherwise but subscribe heavily to and reference and frame mental illness through the biomedical model and the widespread (but false) idea that a chemical imbalance causes these issues. Comprehensive explanation for this + resources here. (Also worth looking into this activist's work where she describes what paychiatric gaslighting looks like)

The thing is I do not want to spread that misinformation anymore. It was presented to me as fact despite there being little proof of it, for a long time in my life from psychology teachers to therapists to psychiatrists of course. Just treated as a natural fact when it was literally pseudoscience on the same level as most rudimentary psychoanalysis.

So I have to make the decision to either simply not reblog it and therefore not engage with the wider mental health discourse and let people be mistaken from what is possibly just an honest mistake as something that has been taught to us all so so largely, they very well might just honestly not know it not be true, and then by leaving it alone I am letting that myth perpetuate from well-meaning people...

Or...

I actually correct the person, get a bunch of people who find their worldview so suddenly challenged being angry about it and calling me anti science as often happens and get retraumatised over my experiences with Psychiatric abuse at large.

And although I mostly choose the former and simply don't engage it leaves me feeling uneasy because I know I was that person once who didn't think to question the validity of chemical imbalance theories and if someone had told me about it honestly it would have saved me a world of pain. But too many people are progressive only on the surface and hate to have to consider abolitionist approaches to oppressive systems, too many people genuinely believe a host of more stigmatised symptoms and disorders to be deserving of incarceration or erasure, and i have no way of knowing who these people would be. And this is why pop psychology and liberal mental health advocates have run the anti-psych movement into the shadows - a movement to which we owe every step of our liberation as mentally ill people.

So how do you make this a bigger conversation again?

Like. Tell me this isn't blatantly a mass misinformation campaign at this point

[linked here]

[neuroticboyfriend]

honestly, for me addiction is all about coping with pain. and i don't just mean coping directly with drugs. sometimes it's coping without drugs, either because they're not available or not working. the entire point to my drug use is that i don't want to be in pain, but am unable to utilize healthy coping skills. the amount of pain i was (and still am) in became too much for what i could realistically handle, given my abilities and the support (or lack thereof) around me.

an example is. i ran out of drugs A, B, and C, which all help my anxiety and physical pain. drug D also helps my anxiety and physical pain, but can also cause me panic attacks and dissociation. do i stop doing drug D? no. i finally pull some self-soothing out of my ass. is it difficult? yes. incredibly fucking so, and sometimes, i cant do it. but it is a lot easier for drugs to take up most of the coping work and for me to try my best to fill in the gaps.

a lot of the time, drugs are what people resort to when they have quite literally exhausted every other option. it doesn't mean other options aren't out there somewhere, or they're doomed forever. it just means that right now, that person is at their fucking wits end and is desperate for relief from their pain. addictive self-medication is still medication - it's just a very chaotic, painful, and unsustainable one, that ends up creating as many problems as it temporarily fixes.

so please, for the love of god, give addicts a break. they're trying their best to take care of themselves, and it isn't a failing to not be able or willing to do that better or more healthily. people experience pain. it's a fact of life, and it doesn't have to express itself in a way you find digestible to be needing of support and care.

[selfhelpforghosts]

It's okay to vent and express your feelings.

[justseveralowls]

Message of the day:

“Joy is never a waste of time, doing what makes you happy is productive, you are worthy of spending time on yourself.”

Watch your favorite movie today, take the pretty drive home, buy yourself your favorite flowers. You are worthy of all the love and kindness you would shower onto a best friend or loved one

[glitchdollmemoria]

on one hand, want to get angry, tell non schizospecs/psychotics to take their turn defending, protecting, speaking up for us. should not need to put self in danger, risk of harassment, of attempts to trigger psychosis. should not be my fucking job. if people want to be mental health advocates, should do the fucking work. money in mouth. words from mouth. defend us. befriend us, if we want. shut down fuckers who harass and threaten and belittle. shut them down. make them unwelcome in communities. be open in support for us, show you believe we are people worthy of care. show it. show it to me right now. show it in the future. do the work. support us. protect us. care about us LOUDLY. we need you to be LOUD, be LOUD.

on other hand, i dont trust. dont trust you to not speak over us instead of for. to actually see us as people. high horse, savior complex, infantilization, clout, fake and shallow. speak, your words fall, but falling short. still internalize, "so weird, creepy, stupid, dangerous, insane". assume you think lesser of me, us.

beg, demand, challenge, prove me wrong. prove im in your worldview. prove i matter in your head. prove i can be safe. prove WE can be safe, my community, fellow schizospecs/psychotics. prove it. will continue being loud for self and siblings either way, but fucking help me. boost my voice and our voices and take our saying - include take saying from us who can say, about siblings who cannot say for selves, catatonic and completely lacking language ability and all else - and internalize it and speak up without speaking over. cannot do this by ourselves. need to be heard, need to be protected, need help. help us.

(non schizospecs/psychotics, reblog fully ok, encouraged. aimed at you. aimed at you.)

[uncanny-tranny]

"The only person who can save you is yourself, don't rely on anybody else!"

Actually, what has saved me is books and my favourite video game and my cats and my friends who I've shared late nights and too-early mornings with and the dew-covered grass I walked on on the way to a competition bus in ninth grade band and the sunburn that kept me out of school for days the month prior.

I understand the viewpoint of how you are ultimately the person who can save you, but don't discount that you aren't an island. You aren't meant to be your sole savior. Let others save you, too. You are worth the care and love the universe has for you.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

sanism, ableism, fucked up shit said to narcissists

So apparently some people still don't believe ableism against NPD/narcissists is real. Just literally saw a post on a mental health app saying that all narcissists should be lobotomized.

Yeah. Okay. This is. I have no words. I am just angry. Even if you disagree or can separate narcissism from NPD, these are still the people you are siding with that your ignorance and demonization of NPD and narcissists will fuel. It starts with dehumanization and vilifying us. It has happened to other neurodivergencies and still does, but is less acceptable for them.

You have to fucking support narcissists and people with personality disorders. It's most prevalent with narcissists and sociopaths/psychopaths (aspd) now, but it has been used against every neurodivergent and mentally ill person before at some point in time. You cannot have mental health advocacy without US!!! It may be more normalized and acceptable with the stuff of narcissistic abuse being prevalent, but this is literally so harmful. Saying mentally ill people should be lobotomized is so fucked up. I'm shaking with rage. It doesn't matter if there are "bad" narcissists, they do not deserve to be fucking lobotomized. Calling for a fucking lobotomy to a huge group of people because of a stereotype of being naturally abusive is so fucking harmful. Even if someone with NPD was abusive (which does happen), calling for a lobotomy for them is so so so fucked up!!! Lobotomies aren't even that far in the past from when they were normalized and used as a method for dealing with mental illness!!! How the fuck can you ever fucking say that?!

If you support any mental illness or disorder or neurodivergency, you have to support ALL OF US. That includes even if the person with a disorder is abusive. They should be able to get help and not treated like some lesser being that deserves to be fucking lobotomized!!! And uncomfortable thing, but abusive people CAN and HAVE changed. Abusive people are all not one monolith of cruelty and hatred and evilness.

I just am so furious after seeing that on a fucking mental health app of all places. How fucking disgusting!!! To say a whole group of thousands of people of all kinds should be lobotomized for disorders we don't fucking ask to have is so fucking gross and ableist. The complete vitriolic hatred that people who hate narcissists have for complete strangers and the violence I've seen them spout because they may or may not have been abused by a narcissist is disgusting.

[lazykebabvagina]

Can I hit 1k before the year ends??? I'm 44 away 🥹 I'm nice and funny I swear. Reblog or smthng

[adhbabey]

Its painful, that the response to "So many people are mentally ill nowadays" is "People are faking mental illness as a trend" and not "It's awful, that we grew up with such pain and trauma collectively, but it's good, that we're learning how to seek help and break the cycle".

People aren't faking. People aren't lying. The fact that so many people grew up with mental illness is generational trauma. But finally, we're seeking help and getting better at coping.

It's good, that we know that people are suffering, because finally, we're able to help.

[diamarian-art]

“Don’t let pride ever cause you to stumble. Baby steps are still progress and keep us humble. It’s better to move slowly than to turn or hide. Keep your eyes focused, let God be your guide.” – J. Allen Shaw

[orbitalsockets]

Sometimes I feel like I'm failing at life and I'm so behind other people my age. But then I have moments like tonight that really make me celebrate being alive. I'm not big on all the tiktok trends but the one like "I'm enjoying life because my world didn't end when I was 16" is so real. I'm here - Comfy in a bed I own, eating McDonald's at 10pm because I wanted to, in an apartment in my name before I go to bed to get ready for a job I genuinely enjoy doing and can help people in - because my world didn't end every time catastrophe struck and I was for sure it would be curtains for my story. I'm enjoying the small things because I didn't let the big things take me out, and I feel like we should all be proud that we're still here to enjoy late McFlurries and small successes that our younger selves dreamed about to stay alive