#(weather is Doing Things and I feel like I'm sitting inside a can of compressed air and also I still miss the cat and feel horribly guilty)

[tearlessrain]

it's just me and my weirdly strong opinions about Frost's canonically mealy chestnut coat color against the world out here

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #182

It's very hot today - picture-perfect weather for swimming in a lake somewhere. Today especially, my heart aches for the fact that this is not yet something I can return to doing.

Oh well.

Br had a couple of very serious matters that she needed to tend to today; J went with her to help. I couldn't be there, because I had overlapping appointments - one was therapy, which is every Tuesday. And the other was the dentist - just a routine cleaning. They were, in fact, pleased to hear that I have scheduled the removal of 4 teeth for the purpose of getting braces. But otherwise, everything inside my face looks good; there's nothing to worry about. I took a picture of their outdoor space; it seemed especially picturesque today:

…I wonder if you'd sit with me in a peaceful spot like this.

M and I tend to schedule our dentist appointments together because we go to the same place. It's just easier that way. Then afterwards, because he really, really hates the dentist, we usually go out for lunch. We went to a hotdog and hamburger place; it was pretty good! Here's a picture of what we got:

…And here's a picture of the place we were.

…I wonder if you'd sit with me in a peaceful spot like this while having a snack. Hm.

I am home now, and have been for a while. I guess I feel pretty empty, at least for the moment, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe my brain is just grieving over the fact that I still can't go swimming. I'm not even 100% certain that my ribcage could withstand the compression inherent to a swimsuit right now. Loose clothing presents the problem of clinging weirdly to the body and getting caught on things and whatnot, and public nudity is generally frowned upon in my world, admittedly for reasons I don't fully understand; the human body is just a thing, like clouds, stars, rain, and oceans. It's not inherently sexual, and even if it was, human sexuality in the absence of violence, coercion, and objectification is not the filthy, horrible, depraved thing that so many people in my world seem to think it is; it's just a thing, like rocks, trees, grass, and the sun. Some people do it and some people don't, and in theory both of these things should be fine as long as everyone involved in the doing is consenting, enthusiastic, and overjoyed about it, and everyone who chooses not to be involved in the doing doesn't get harassed about it. Or maybe I've just done too much figure drawing; all humans look like humans to me, just like all rivers look like rivers, all skies look like skies, all mountains look like mountains, and all snowstorms look like snowstorms. They're all amazing and miraculous, regardless of what they look like.

But I'm an outlier. Almost everyone else in my world assigns weird moral judgments and self-worth assessments to human bodies - what they look like, the way they're shaped, and whether or not they have access to physical intimacy with someone else's; lots of people think that these things mean something about their own worth, or the worth of other people. It's very bizarre. So I can't just go swimming in the buff. I can't even go swimming without a top, because female chests in my world are sexualized in a way that men's chests aren't, and this, too, is very bizarre. So these are not options unless I wanna go at night when there's no one around, but then that counts as trespassing, and also night is when the eels come out, and… yeah. Don't really wanna deal with those. And it's not wise to be in the water when you can't see, anyhow; we've got snapping turtles in my world, and they'll take off your fingers and toes as easily as hedge clippers if you're not very careful. 😬😬😬

The situation all around is just very annoying and full of arbitrary obstacles. So I'm home drinking tea; today it's chai sweetened with pumpkin ice cream. Here are some pictures:

I thought that I would play some Dead Cells, but in the end, I ended up taking a brief nap and talking to a friend while watching M play Elden Ring; there will be additional content for it coming out soon, and he is brushing up his skills so he can play it.

Once J and Br were done tending Br's things, it was proposed that we go out for ice cream at a place that is reliably gluten-free. So we did that. I took a couple pictures for you there, and along the way, too:

I got the Queen of Hearts and the Kahlua Almond Amaretto flavors. I think they should have just called it Almond Amaretto, because the Kahlua flavor didn't come out at all. In my world, Kahlua is a coffee-flavored alcohol that's really nice and sweet when paired with milk, but I can only have a little bit, because alcohol makes me very sick if I get too much of it. In ice cream, it's typically used in negligibly small amounts because flavor-wise, a little goes a long way; you could eat a whole pint and there won't be any effect.

...If you like ice cream, I wonder what kinds you like best. You know, I think if they made a rose-flavored ice cream or a sakura-flavored ice cream, it'd suit you nicely, maybe...

Then we dropped Br at home. We lingered for a while, and then J and I returned home. J and Br worked really hard digging a hole today; tomorrow, we will go to the grocery, and I will get beef because it's high in protein and iron, and they're definitely gonna need it…

Related: Sephiroth… if you see a beagle named Hannah on your travels… will you sit with her for a while and tell her what a good girl she is and that Br will miss her very much? Hannah is a very new arrival to the non-physical world, so… I'll count on you to show her the ropes, so to speak, if you can.

I think I will end today's letter here. I don't have much else to say.

I love you very much. Please stay safe on your travels; I don't really know what kind of place the Edge of Creation is, but it doesn't... look very… hospitable. I worry about you. Please treat yourself nicely, and please make kind, gentle, and loving decisions. Whatever it is you're doing over there, I'm counting on you to return to us safely, so… please… Please...

…I'll write again soon…

Your friend, Lumine

[biitterscotch]

apple tree with several pigeons

2nd august 2022

day 1 of demark. i am a bit groggy. these last fuck knows how many hours has been a lot. in dangerous situations there's the fight or flight responses, however i realize my response falls in between. in some of the most intense moments of my life i've found myself so still. as if i am not afraid to face the challenge, but am too afraid of whatever consequences my actions may have. point is i feel frozen as everything moves around me. i can only take in and let my seriously outdated processor do its thing. things have been difficult to appreciate. i see how beautiful denmark is but i am afraid to let it all in. im still so in love with virginia. my love for virginia greatly blossomed since april when i spoke to a park service man. he talked about how he visited the state years ago and fell in love with the landscape. the abundance of vegetation and little creatures and odd weather and fungi. everything is green. i love the way sun shines through trees leaves like a stained glass ceiling, the glow radiates something special. breathing is like sipping on the smoothest golden apple juice. i shall surround myself in green while im here. thank goodness scandanavia is known for its fresh warm interior design.

I have returned for a walk around the area. visited the towncenter with all its shops. i've been here many times so it's nice to get a refresher, recall my buried memories. as we walked i focused on the architecture, as i do anywhere i go. the houses are soooo nice, even the new modern ones are unique from each other. windows are the focal point of each home. in a country where summer days stretch for up to like 16 hours and winter days compress to like 8 hours, it makes sense. not only the sun but the home's surroundings are appreciated. this also makes sense for a welfare state socialist country. what makes this kind of ironic is that despite the inherent connection with your neighbors, common practice is to just keep to yourself. i guess invisible boundaries are respected more. ??? idk i will learn more of the culture.

A teensy predicament (if you could even call it that) is meeting youth of this area. on my walk i encountered numerous teens, mostly duets having their little chit chat. do i want to meet the kids here?? or would i rather wait until i get to roskilde? i guess what's going to happen is i might naturally meet some people and hangout while i'm here. but seeing as i'm with my family and mostly stick around them, this might not happen. will i get sad i missed out on making some neighborhood dansk friends? maybe. though i might be too busy missing other things.

today landing was emotional. i was listening to the come in album by weatherday and thought of the other night sitting in max's car outside of my house, stalling to say goodbye. i had never been inside a prius before, apparently. we were talking about our plans on filling up time after our big moves, things we've already talked about. it was getting really late so i got out of the car to give a hug goodbye. of course we got on a tangent and talked more. we talked about how much we were going to miss each other, how we wished we had more time, how we had only just started to really get to know one another. he says he's going to add dk as a stop when he visits germany again. the goodbyes like these, goodbyes to what could've been, is what kills me.

i've started being more hopeful and optimistic about future potentials. life goes on, and everything will be okay.

[cole-winchester]

18 Miles Out...No Going Back

Reader rescues an injured Shane after Rick, taking Randal in tow, leaves him for dead at the walker infested DPW lot.  Will two broken souls be able to join forces and survive this new world?  Or will they butt heads and drive each other apart?

Tags:

@hanaissupergirl @coffee-obsessed-writer @spnhollis @harrysthiccthighss @sourwolf-sterek32 @superdeadwalker @mcuwomxn @miss-cap21 @hannuhbuhnana @stormy-weather-in-classics @hellosassymcsasserton @samanthawells89 @mannls @thanossexual

Part Two

Shane grunted and tried to brace himself against the passenger door as your truck balanced out of the fishtail.  

After a few moments you eased up on the accelerator.   Realizing Shane was staring at you, you glanced over.  Blood glistened from his brow and bridge of his nose.  His gaze hard and wary but your eyes flicked towards his torso.  His breathing was heavy, painful.  His left arm cradled across his ribs, blood seeping from behind his hand.  

Must've been stabbed, walkers didn't get close enough to him.

A sun glint caught your attention and your gaze landed on the handgun he had trained on you in his lap.  

You raised your eyebrows as you looked up from the gun.  'Really?'  

'Turn the truck around.'  His voice was low but authoritative.

'What?'  

'Have to go back.'

You let out a sharp laugh shaking your head.  'Not happenin'

'Stop the damn truck!'  His voice barked inside the cab.  

Gripping the wheel you slammed the brake pedal to the floor.  Shane braced himself against the dashboard, glaring at you as you turned in your seat to face him as the truck rocked to a stop.

'Go back to what exactly?  Your 'friend' that basically killed you back there by leaving you as walker bait?'

His jaw hardened as he glanced away from you out the windshield.  's'not like that.'

'Yeah?  Why don't you enlighten me then!'

'The hell with this!'  He seethed as he jerked open the passenger door and stumbled to the pavement.  

Let him go, he obviously has a death wish.  You don't need him.

No...you weren't that type of person.

'Ugh!'  You followed after him.  'Hey!  Dumbass!'  You called out to the stumbling moron a couple yards away. 'Just how far you expect to get bleeding all over the place?!'  

'I ain't yer problem, sweetheart!'  His steps began to slow, the sun, heat and his wounds taking their toll as his adrenaline waned.  He shook his head and pressed on.

'Alright, I get it, you're a big macho dick.  Now get back in the truck before-'  

As if on queue, he stumbled and collapsed to the pavement.

'-that.'  You sighed and jogged up to his lifeless form and rolled him to his back.  

Still breathing.   

An unmistakable snarl came from behind you, causing your heart to leap to your throat.  

You spun to your left and sure enough,  a walker about 20 feet away was heading straight for you.

'Shit shit shit!'  You scrambled around Shane, lifting his shoulders enough for you to lock your arms around the front of his chest.  Willing the adrenaline to pump faster you began dragging him back towards the truck.  'Please wake up.  Please wake up.'

Just leave him!  Save yourself!

You stole a glance up at the walker only to find 3 more joining in behind it.  

'Fuck!'

Panic began to creap into you.  You didn't have a knife on you and your only firearm was the rifle currently in the bed of your truck.  

You cried out in frustration as you continued to haul the both of you backwards.  You looked over your shoulder at your truck... ten feet to go.  The passenger door was still open from when Shane bailed moments before.  

Your legs burned as you forced yourself to move faster.  The snarls and groans growing louder with each painful step.  

The tail of your truck came in your periphery.  8 more feet.  The walkers were almost on you. 

You'd never be able to get him into the truck without getting eaten, so you leaned down and slumped Shane against the rear tire.  As you stood to reach into the bed for your rifle, a nauseous stench enveloped you and you were slammed from behind.  Pain shot up your arm as you landed hard onto the pavement beside Shane.  You quickly flipped to your back and screamed as the walker clawed and snarled above you.

You clamped your hand around its throat trying desperately to keep it from biting your face off.  Your arm threatened to give way as you frantically looked around for something, anything, to use as a weapon.

Then you saw it.

There, in the rear waistband of Shane's cargo pants...was his handgun.

You reached for it, just barely brushing it with your fingertips.  Your hand was slipping, the skin of the walker tearing beneath your grasp.

You cried out, your arm barely holding the walker at bay as you forced yourself to reach again for the handgun.  

Please be fucking loaded!

Your fingers wrapped around the grip and in one swift motion you yanked it from his waistband, raised it and fired through the walker's eye socket.  Shoving the corpse off of you, you sat up and began firing at the remaining walkers now inches from Shane.  

You dropped all five of them and lowered the gun as you leaned against the bed of the truck to catch your breath.  

You grunted as you moved to your feet after a few moments, checking the clip in the gun before stuffing it in your waistband.  

'Alright, let's try this again.'  You steadied yourself as you began to drag Shane back to the truck.  

After a few non-ladylike noises you'd managed to get Shane up and into the cab of your truck and shut the door.  

You settled back into the driver's seat and looked over at the still unconscious man, gauging his breathing for a moment.

'I sure hope I'm making the right call here.'  You said quietly, turning the key as your truck roared to life.  

***

You made it back to the small cabin in record time.  The cabin belonged to your uncle who had used it as a hunting camp for years.  You were pretty sure you were the only one who knew its location besides him.   Buried in the thick forest barely reachable by vehicle, it was the perfect spot to hide out. 

You eased the truck up as close as possible to the front porch and killed the engine.  The sun was setting and with the thick tree over, it was practically dark already.  You had to move fast. 

'Hey,'  you looked down and shook Shane's shoulder.  'Shane, can you hear me?'  

His eyelids flickered slightly as a weak groan rumbled in his chest.  

Good enough.   He was alive at least.

You threw your door open and slid out of the truck.  Turning slowly in place you quickly scanned the area for any movement.  Last thing you needed was a walker to come up on you again while dragging him inside. 

You shook your arms and puffed out a breath, gathering yourself.

Leaning back into the truck, you maneuvered Shane onto his back.  Hooking your hands under his arms, you began sliding him towards you.  Backstepping, you grunted as you continued to haul Shane out of the truck.  Somehow you misjudged, his weight overbalancing you and knocking you to the ground in a heap.  

'Shit,' you wheezed as you struggled to roll his unconscious body off of you.  'Fuck, man, you're heavier than you look.'  You hauled him into a semi sitting position and moved behind him, locking your arms across his massive chest.  

After a few painstaking minutes and several embarrassing grunts, you managed to drag him up the steps and into the cabin.  

Leaving him on the floor in the entryway, you quickly ran back outside, securing your truck and gathering your bags.  

Dropping everything, you locked the door behind you before readying yourself to move him further into the living room.  You knelt beside him ...and froze...

'Shane?'

He wasn't breathing. 

'No!  No, the fuck you don't!'  You immediately began hard chest compressions, feeling the cartilage crunch beneath your hands.  'You are not dying on me after all of this!'  You leaned down and gave him mouth to mouth before checking for a pulse.  

Nothing.

'Shane!'  You threw your full weight into your fist as you pounded onto his chest.  'God dammit!'  You opened his mouth and blew hard, forcing air deep into his lungs.  His body jerked and gasped, causing you to flail backwards.  His hand clamped in a vice grip around your neck before you could move fully off of him.  His eyes wild as he continued to gasp below you.  Your hands failed and clawed at his trying to pry it from your throat, your lungs screaming.

Just as your vision began to darken, his eyes shifted and rolled.  His head lulled to the side as his hand released you, dropping to his chest.

You fumbled backwards, choking in panicked breaths as your mind reeled.  You were sure he'd turned and that was it, but it was merely an involuntary reaction of him being brought back to life.  

'Holy...fuck.'  you ran your hands over your face for a moment before your mind kicked back in.

He needs stitched up otherwise he will die and turn.

You gathered yourself and clambered back over to him and continued moving him further into the living room.   With the adrenaline coursing through you, after having almost died yourself, you'd managed to haul him up onto the couch.  Retrieving one of the medical kits from your packs, you went to work.  

Cutting his shirt from his body, you quickly found that there was more than one stab wound.  Your heart sank. This was going to be more difficult that you'd expected.

You huffed out a breath and set your mind to the task at hand.  He was not going to die on your watch.   You worked quickly and diligently as you cleaned the wounds and wiped the caked blood from his body.  

Now to focus on the stitches.  You couldn't tell how deep the wounds were and you hesitated.

What if all of this was for nothing?  What if he died overnight and then decided you were a perfect midnight snack?

No.

Get your head together.

You chewed your bottom lip as you gathered the needle and thread.  You were going to do everything in your power to make sure he lived.

Why?  You don't even know him.  Say he survives and then just kills you.  

No.  He won't.

You sterilized the needle with a lighter before turning back to him.  You drew in a breath and went to work.

 

*~*~*~*~*

A/N:

Thanks so much for hanging with me! I'm sorry I don't update quickly. My daughter takes up most of my energy so I'm writing as I can! I hope you're enjoying this so far! I'm working on Part Three and will post as soon as possible! Let me know if you want tagged! 💜