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eddieeatsass · 5 years

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bloody mary - yram ydoolb

Summary: Richie thinks knives can be fun, and Eddie is willing to play along, that is until things get a little more intense than he'd been expecting. Pairing: Reddie Rating: E Warnings: Smut, explicit language, graphic violence

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(A few important notes: PLEASE heed the warnings. If you are triggered by topics relating to self harm or violence, or very mild dub-con, this may not be the fic for you.

Secondly, do not take this fic as an example of healthy BDSM. The key rules of BDSM are to keep it Safe, Sane, and Consensual. This fic does not adhere to those rules because this takes place in a dark verse.

The practices conducted here are not to be reproduced in real life.If you’re interested in bondage, knife play, blood play, or any other type of edge play, PLEASE do your own research. Do not engage in these kinks (or any) until both you and your partner are thoroughly versed on how to stay safe, and the necessary aftercare involved.)

“Dinner is on me tonight!” Richie burst through the door, projecting into his apartment to a very startled Eddie.

A small ‘fuck!’ could be heard from the kitchen, where Richie travelled after kicking off his boots, carrying two heavy bags of Chinese food.

He found Eddie huddled over their sink, abandoned vegetables to the right of him alongside a bloody knife.

“You made me cut myself, you dickhead!” Eddie shouted over his shoulder, brandishing his bleeding hand before putting it back under the cold water. He tried to get the blood to clear long enough to see how deep the cut was, but it was pooling up at a rate too quick for the water to wash away. With another mumbled curse he opened a drawer, pulling out a roll of gauze (of which they kept many in every room of the house) and began wrapping it around his hand.

“Don’t blame me for your shoddy knifesmanship.” Richie shrugged, placing his bags on the counter and beginning to unpack them.

“I thought tonight was my night for dinner. Did you really make me go through all of this for nothing?” Eddie asked exasperatedly.

“It was, but on the subway home I was sitting next to a man who was carrying the most delicious smelling food, which he so generously agreed to give me after some convincing.” Richie reached behind himself, pulling a gun out from his pants and letting it clatter to the counter as evidence.

“Richieee.” Eddie groaned, stomping towards the counter and snatching the gun up. “I told you not to take my gun anymore. You’ve got shitty aim.”

“I do not; I mean to miss when I’m shooting at you.”

“Mhm.” Eddie agrees sarcastically, unconvinced. He looks down at his injured hand, the gauze having already turned red in the short time since he applied it.

“I’m gonna have to re-wrap this before we eat.” Eddie complained.

“Let me do it.” Richie offered, to which Eddie eyed him suspiciously.

“…Why?” Eddie asked carefully, narrowing his eyes.

“Can’t a guy just want to help his boyfriend?” Richie batted his lashes innocently.

“A guy, yeah. You? No.”

“But you squirm so deliciously when I use the disinfectant.” Richie admitted, going from innocent to sultry in a moment flat.

Eddie glared at him before relenting, turning around without another word and starting down the hallway.

“Well? Come on then.” He shouted over his shoulder, hearing the excited footsteps pattering behind him.

After Richie had had his fun, and Eddie was re-bandaged, the two made their way back out to the kitchen and grabbed their food, flopping in front of the TV before laying things out on the coffee table.

“Gross, there’s shrimp in this.” Eddie complained, as he opened one of the mystery containers.

“I’m sorry Eds, I’ll be sure to ask the guy what he ordered next time before I rob him.” Richie drawled sarcastically.

Eddie chucked a piece of shrimp at him before continuing to open the rest of the containers.

They both took turns dumping contents on to their plates, choosing what appealed most to them and occasionally forcing each other to try the things the other didn’t want to try. By the end of it, Richie had loaded Eddie’s plate with shrimp, and Eddie had shoved enough tofu on to Richie’s to blanket the rest of his meal.

They ate in silence while they watched the news, chuckling at the criminals who’d been caught and discussing how they’d have pulled off the crime without ending up on national television. At one point, however, someone they recognized popped up on the screen, causing Eddie to choke on a noodle.

Richie leaned forward in his seat as Eddie coughed beside him.

“Well fuck, Denbrough…” Richie murmured, staring at the mugshot of their best friend.

“When did this happen?” Eddie asked through a hoarse throat once he’d recovered.

“If you’d shut up, I could find out.” Richie grabbed the remote control, turning up the volume until it drowned out all else.

“Earlier today police arrested long term suspect related to a series of murders, Bill Denbrough. Denbrough can be traced back to a murder as early as 2013 but had managed to stay off police suspects lists until earlier this year when he was linked to the murder of Tom Rogan. Detectives were able to connect him to six other un-solved murders after that. His suspected motivation for the crimes is his presumably unrequited love for one Beverly Marsh, as the victims having all been connected to her in one way or another. The most recent victim was Ms. Marsh’s ex-husband who had several charges himself: domestic violence, assault and battery, aggravated assault, and probation violation. Bill Denbrough has been put into custody and is awaiting a trial date.”

“Tomorrow we’ll start brainstorm how to break him out. I’ll text the rest of the losers and let them know.” Richie stated, muting the TV and setting the remote down.

“Fucking Bill, always getting us into this shit; he makes a mess and we’ve gotta clean it up.”

“Well it’s better than letting him rot in prison with Henry Bowers as a guard, right?”

Eddie winced at the mention of their lifelong enemy; a corrupt cop who stayed above the law because he worked for it. He could get away with anything, and had on several occasions.

“Fine, but I’m not holding back from laying into him once we’ve got him back.” Eddie grumbled.

“As if you ever hold back.” Richie snorted, sending off a quick text to their group chat and re-pocketing his phone. He looked over to Eddie who was just finishing up his meal, only to notice a trickle of blood dancing down the skin of his forearm.

Richie reached forward, collecting the blood on his index finger and smearing it. Eddie glanced down at Richie’s hand, a frustrated curse following the sight of his (once again) sullied bandage.

“God damn it, Richie get the suture kit.” Eddie ground out through clenched teeth, anger bubbling up at the knowledge that he’d have to sew himself up with his non-dominant hand. That would certainly make for an interesting scar.

“Get it yourself, I’m not your maid.” Richie said snarkily as he stood from the couch and began carrying his plate to the kitchen.

“Ugh fine, then can we at least get drunk first?” Eddie called out, eyeing the messy coffee table and choosing to leave cleaning up until later.

Richie reappeared at the end of the couch, looking down at Eddie with a wicked grin and his hands behind his back.

“I’m really hoping you’ve got a bottle of whiskey behind your back.” Eddie wished hopefully, knowing too well that probably wasn’t the case.

“I have a better idea.” Richie announced confidently, pulling his hands out from behind his back and brandishing a glistening knife. “More cutting.”

“And how does that solve my problem?” Eddie deadpanned.

“It doesn’t, but it solves mine.” Richie pointed to the tent in his jeans that Eddie hadn’t noticed until now. He should have expected this; Richie always got excited when Eddie bled.

Eddie sighed, pushing himself up from the couch and walking up to Richie until they were merely a breath away.

“If we’re doing this, you better make it worth my while.” Eddie punctuated his threat by running his index finger across the blade, pulling it back to inspect the bead of blood. Content with the sharpness of the knife, Eddie brought his finger up to Richie’s lips, smearing the blood across them like a lipstick.

Eddie sauntered towards their bedroom, leaving Richie to trail after him excitedly.

It took a few minutes for Richie to set Eddie up how he wanted him, but in the end, it left Eddie handcuffed to a chain hanging from their ceiling, kneeling above their bed with his knees barely reaching the mattress.

Eddie’s arms tensed with the strain of practically hanging by his wrists, and they looked so delicious Richie couldn’t help but get ahead of himself, leaving a little slice along Eddie’s bicep before they had even begun.

Richie unclothed himself, taking a few steps around the bed and assessing Eddie like an animal stalking its prey. When he was behind Eddie and fully out of sight he hopped up on the mattress, the sudden movement causing Eddie to startle. Richie chuckled darkly, tracing the knife along the back of Eddie’s neck.

“Are you going to get on with it or am I just going to hang here until the circulation in my wrists gets cut off?” Eddie asked tiredly.

“If you start to lose circulation, I’ll cut you down.” Richie said.

“You can’t cut through chains, idiot.”

“That’s not what I meant. But don’t worry, you’d still look pretty without hands.” Richie whispered into Eddie’s ear, grinning as he shivered in response.

In one quick succession, Richie slipped the blade around to the front of Eddie’s neck and under the collar of his shirt, flicking it away and pulling down as it cut through the fabric with terrifying ease. Eddie’s tan skin was flushed pink, the colors intermingling under his flesh and shining out like a light. It was an unblemished canvas for Richie to paint on, his knife a brush and Eddie’s blood his paint.

Before he could create his masterpiece though, he needed to rid Eddie of the rest of his clothes. It only took Richie a few flicks of his wrist to expertly cut away all of Eddie’s garments, leaving them in a pile of scraps surrounding them. Richie rounded Eddie, kneeling in front of him and gazing down the length of his body appreciatingly.

Eddie’s cock was already straining, curving slightly to the left as if seeking out Richie’s attention. Richie used the flat edge of his knife to hold it up, smirking as a pearl of pre-cum bubbled to the surface and on to the polished metal.

Richie made eye contact with Eddie as he brought the knife up to his face and made a show of licking the cum off it.

“Richie-” Eddie whined, tugging on his chains impatiently. He’d never been one to wait for good things, always wanting them done fast so he could reap the benefits sooner. Richie acceded, bringing the knife to Eddie’s chest, just under his peck, and leaving a thin red line it its wake.

Eddie hissed, more out of pleasure than pain. The knife was sharp enough that it didn’t really hurt, just stung slightly in the aftermath. Eddie let his head hang, examining Richie’s work, and was disappointed to see only a few droplets of blood had come to the surface.

He couldn’t help but compare it to his hand, which had been unbandaged and left to bleed freely down his arm, exacerbated by the pressure from the handcuffs. He wanted more like that; more intensity, more depth, more blood.

“Why the long face? Not good enough for my little slut?” Richie asked condescendingly, tipping Eddie’s chin up with the knife so he was forced to look him in the eyes.

“Not enough…” Eddie echoed bashfully.

“What was that?” Richie goaded, pressing against Eddie’s chin a little harder, the edge of the knife threatening to break skin.

“I said it’s not enough.” Eddie ground out, fighting the blush on his cheeks.

“Oh, well, why didn’t you just say so?” Richie responded cheerfully, a flicker of madness fliting across his eyes before he skilfully swiped his arm out, grazing Eddie’s flesh with the knife and leaving a slash across his stomach.

The shock made Eddie’s jaw drop. When he peered down at his skin he saw rivulets streaming down his abs towards his groin, which twitched with excitement at the view.

After that Richie didn’t hold back. He marred up Eddie’s torso, front and back, with varying sizes and depths of cuts. Eddie’s entire body stung, vibrating with the pulse he could feel in every vein that had been sliced open. His skin was puffed up and irritated, a mixture of smeared and fresh blood coating warm beige skin.

Richie had just finished a clean cut along Eddie’s hip bone when the man in question shuttered above him. Richie looked up, a nasty, knowing smirk on his face.

“You getting close, you little whore? Just from this?” Richie mocked.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head back and forth but not trusting his voice to cooperate.

Richie laughed, turning his attention to Eddie’s cock, which was coated in blood and pre-cum. It was a beautiful sight, but not quite worthy of attention yet.

“One last finishing touch before I take care of you. Think you can hold out?” Richie sneered.

Eddie glared through his lashes, wanting nothing more than to spit in Richie’s condescending face. But he knew that wouldn’t bode well for him when he was chained up like this. So instead, he gritted his teeth and nodded minutely.

Richie leaned forward, bringing his knife to the top of Eddie’s peck, which he’d kept untouched with this exact intention in mind. With more grace than one should ever have with a knife, he carved out five little lines, pulling back to admire his work as it wept red.

“Now you’ll never forget who you belong to.” Richie stated, wiping a finger over the fresh cuts to smear the blood out of the way. Left behind were the letters “R” and “T”, only hesitating long enough to let Richie read them aloud before they were overflowing once again.

Eddie’s cock responded to the possessiveness, twitching out another thread of pre-cum. As much as Eddie would fight it, argue against it, would rather die before admitting it, at the end of the day he took comfort in the fact that he was Richie’s.

Satisfied with his work, Richie shuffled off the bed and towards their walk-in closet.

They had refurbished the walk-in to act as a vault of sorts, holding all their most important possessions. It’s where they kept their money, their weapons, and some of their more intricate or high-end sex toys.

Richie disappeared for a moment before returning with a cocky grin and a pair of silver gloves on his hands. He slapped his palms together, a muffled metallic sound ringing through the room.

They’d only made use of those gloves on one other occasion. They were cut-resistant gloves made from stainless-steel mesh, designed so the wearer couldn’t injure themselves when using sharp blades.

Eddie’s brain tried to connect the dots, figure out what Richie’s plan was, but his head was swimming from arousal and blood loss.

“Richie, what are you…” Eddie trailed off when Richie recollected the knife from where he’d left it on the bed, this time grasping it by its blade. He seemed to be inspecting the handle, devious thoughts flitting across his eyes that Eddie couldn’t discern.

It all clicked once Richie leaned over their bedside table, grabbing their bottle of lube and uncapping it.

“Richie, no.” Eddie tried to sound stern, his heartbeat suddenly hammering in his chest. He tried to wiggle around, a frivolous attempt at getting free. He knew it wouldn’t work, he was the one who rigged up the chains after all, and he did a damn good job at making sure whoever was hooked up wouldn’t be able to get down.

Richie ignored his objections completely, moving closer to Eddie on the bed and staring him down.

“I swear to fucking god, I will slit your throat where you sleep if you go anywhere near my ass with that.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Richie purred lowly.

Once they were only a breath away, Richie poured some lube out over the handle of the knife, holding it in front of Eddie’s face so he was forced to watch.

Eddie’s eyes kept darting between the knife and Richie’s face, struggling to decide whether swallowing his pride and pleading was worth it. On the one hand, he wasn’t a little bitch. But on the other… he didn’t need one slip of the hand connecting his asshole to his urethra.

As Richie’s hand disappeared behind Eddie’s back, the decision was made for him.

“Richie no- don’t you dare- I’ll fucking-” He was promptly cut off as the blunt curve was pressed up against his hole. The lube made it cold and uninviting, and Eddie clenched unintentionally in response.

“The more you fight it the more it’s going to hurt.” Richie tutted.

Eddie eyed the distance between himself and Richie, trying to calculate if he could make the lunge for Richie’s throat without his restraints pulling him back. It was too late though; any sudden movement now could result in a deep slice where he didn’t want one.

“Fine.” Eddie growled. “Just get on with it then.”

Richie didn’t hesitate to follow Eddie’s words, pressing the handle up within him with little warning.

It wasn’t particularly large, probably about the size of some of their smaller dildos, but with zero prep it still stung.

“Agh fuck!” Eddie hissed, arching his back away from the sensation. The sudden jerk made his limbs burn, bringing movement to his body which had been straining in a stationary position for 20 minutes. It sent new waves of agony to the slices in his skin, and bile threatened to rise at the combination of so much pain so suddenly.

Eddie forced himself to close his eyes, focusing on his breathing. Steady inhale, hold… 2… 3… 4… exhale. The key to getting through these situations was keeping his cool. The second he began to panic, or focused too much on the pain, his senses became overwhelmed and tried to shut down.

As Eddie focused on calming down and re-centering himself, he could feel Richie’s breath against his neck. He was mumbling things into Eddie’s skin that he didn’t pay much attention to, but the steady sound of Richie’s voice helped to calm his nerves.

The stimulation in his ass was starting to feel good. The handle of the knife was long enough to reach his prostate whenever Richie hit the right angle, causing a slow build of pleasure that was beginning to overshadow the pain. Without meaning to, Eddie let a little moan slip.

"Is someone finally beginning to enjoy themselves?” Richie teased. “Look how much precum you're leaking now that your slut hole finally has something to clench around.”

Eddie looked down to see that Richie was right, his cock was dripping wet and red at its head, twitching in excitement every time Eddie felt a new sting of pain. His brain and his body were in a warn for dominance over his pain tolerance.

Richie repositioned himself so he was lower, his face level with Eddie’s chest. Through hooded lids, Richie looked up at Eddie, locking on to eye contact before leaning in and taking a nipple into his mouth.

Eddie moaned immediately; the sensation too good to hold it in. His nipples had always been one of his most sensitive erogenous zones, and Richie so often forgot to pay attention to them, too wrapped up in his own pleasure. But in that moment, Richie was making up for every single time he’d neglected them.

He pinched the pink nub between his teeth, pulling back until Eddie’s skin was stretched as far as it’d go. It was so intense it felt like Eddie was hooked up to nipple clamps, but he had the added bonus of Richie’s warm, soft tongue teasing his peak. Richie let go, watching as Eddie’s skin snapped back against itself, mottled and wet.

He moved on to Eddie’s other nipple as he increased the pace of the knife, thrusting it deeper into Eddie’s hole. Eddie’s breath was becoming shaky, along with his legs.

Richie began lapping along the slices he’d made, biting at the flesh and teasing out more blood from the cuts that had dried up. He caught the dribbles on his tongue, savoring the bitter taste of iron. When he lifted his head back up to regard Eddie with a smirk, he had blood smeared around his mouth.

Eddie wanted to snort, absently thinking it looked like a badly done last minute Halloween makeup job, but his lungs couldn’t manage a laugh, his breath already shallow and weak.

He knew he was going to cum soon. Richie had been consistently hitting his prostate for a few minutes, the pressure and tempo solid and steady enough to make Eddie’s toes curl.

“Richie, I- I’m-” Eddie tried to stutter out a warning, his throat dry and a haze beginning to surround his vision.

“What, are you gonna cum? Already?” Richie patronized.

Eddie’s anger mixed with his desperation, watering it down enough to let him sacrifice his ego.

“Yes, yes please- I need to- please Richie-”

“So pathetic.” Richie scoffed. But despite his words, he still relented, bringing his free hand to Eddie’s cock and stroking a few times.

Eddie came with a shrill cry, the sound cracking and fizzling out at the end. He felt the pulse in his cock and the throb in his ass, and then everything went black.

Eddie’s not sure how long he was out, but when he awoke, he was resting against his pillow. He looked down at the sheets, still stained red with his blood and wet to the touch, so he couldn’t have black out for long. The next thing he registered was Richie laying beside him, his finger lazily tracing along Eddie’s stomach, where there was a small pool of blood tinted semen.

“Ew, Richie!”

Richie seemed to have been unaware of Eddie’s regained consciousness until then, startling momentarily as he looked up at him like a kid who’d been caught doing something wrong.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Richie crooned, removing his hand from the mess on Eddie’s belly and wiping it on the sheets.

“How long was I out for?” Eddie asked, noticing his voice was coarse and attempting to clear it.

“About two minutes, give or take.”

“And you thought instead of trying to wake me up, you’d finish on me instead?” Eddie cocked an eyebrow, pointing at the cum that covered his stomach.

“Well, I took you down first.” Richie rolled his eyes, as if Eddie was missing the bigger picture.

“Thanks for not letting me hang lifelessly from our ceiling, I guess?” Eddie responded sarcastically.

“You are so welcome.” Richie sent Eddie an annoyingly charming wink before bouncing off the bed, disappearing into their hallway.

Eddie closed his eyes, noticing the way his head was pounding and his body ached. He wiggled his wrists experimentally, wincing immediately at the feeling. He peeked one eye open, hesitantly bringing an arm into view and gasping when he saw the bruising that was leftover from the handcuffs. It was atrocious, but also… mesmerizing. Eddie was tracing the galaxies under his skin when Richie walked back into the room.

“Drink this.” Richie gave little warning before he chucked a water bottle at Eddie, which he surprisingly caught with little effort.

Eddie blinked at it like he’d never seen water in his life. Really, what he’d never seen in his life was Richie taking care of him. It’s true that things didn’t usually get as intense as they had that day, but Eddie was used to always doing the aftercare himself.

“What, are you allergic to water suddenly?” Richie asked as he climbed back into bed.

“Is it drugged?” Eddie asked skeptically.

“Oh my god, you fucking baby.” Richie grabbed the water bottle from Eddie, cracking open the sealed cap and taking a swig before offering it back to him.

“Now drink. I don’t need you passing out on me again.”

Eddie eyed Richie, his chest feeling uncomfortably aflutter; a sensation he was only used to associating with a new kill or a shiny weapon.

He took the bottle wordlessly and chugged it, ignoring the tiny streams of water that escaped out the corners of his mouth and trickled down his chin. He pulled away from the lip of the bottle with a gratified sigh, not having realized how much he’d needed that.

“Thanks.” Eddie mumbled.

“Don’t go soft on me, Eddie boy.” Richie warned, a lilt of tenderness in his voice.

They held eye contact for a moment before Richie cleared his throat, rolling on to his back and propping his arms up behind his head.

“So, who’s turn is it to do laundry?” He asked, nodding towards the bedsheets.

“Well, technically yours since it was my night for dinner.” Eddie drawled.

“But since I brought home food…” Richie let the end of his sentence trail off, the insinuation evident.

“Fuck off, asshole. Look at the state you left me in.” Eddie gestured to his body, his weakened arm protesting the movement.

“I can’t. If I look at you any longer, I’ll have to jump you for round two.”

“Richie, no-”

“How do you feel about spoons?”

“We’re not doing this-”

“Forks? Or maybe a ladle is more your style? A spatula-”

“I fucking hate you.”

“So it’s a decided, spork it is!”

#reddie #reddie fanfic #reddie lemon #reddie smut #reddie fanfiction #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #dark verse #mirror verse #blood play #bloodplay #knife play #knifeplay #edge play #edgeplay #my posts #my writing

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lettucetacoboatsix · 5 years

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Open to Love: What We Mean When We’re Talking about Polyamory

Recommended Reading:

More than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert

Recommended Viewing:

Steven Universe – No, I’m not kidding. The whole series skirts around the edges of queer relationships and definitely showcases beautiful and positive examples of polyamory, but if you don’t have the time to binge five seasons of a cartoon, I would recommend the song “You Both Love Me and I Love Both of You” at the very least (it gets complicated, but, hey, that’s kind of appropriate).

What is Polyamory?

This part is relatively easy. We can break down the word into its roots poly- from Greek, meaning “many” and amor from Latin, meaning “love.” So polyamory is the practice of loving many, i.e. more than one person.

Side note (this paragraph isn’t terribly relevant, but I really just needed to nerd out about this): I, personally, find it interesting that the word “polyamory” is a mix of both Latin and Greek roots, but I’m also a bit of a linguistics nerd (in addition to being a sex nerd). The Ancient Greeks had four main concepts of love: eros (bodily, sensual, sexual, passionate love); philia (friendship, shared goodwill, willing the good of another); storge (parental/familial love); and agape (universal love, compassion, altruism). Modern philosophy and psychology of love have also thrown in ludus (playful, flirtatious, fun love), pragma (hence pragmatism, love out of duty or obligation or for one’s own long-term interests) and philautia (love of the self). The taxonomy of desire generally would lead us to name this phenomenon as polyphilia, but mixing the linguistic roots actually prevents us from making assumptions about polyamory in relationship to things like paraphiliae (but like, really though, how are there people that are not intellectually curious about all things sex and sexuality?). It also means that we’re talking about more than polyeroticism (finding sexual satisfaction in having more than one partner). That’s right, folks, poly- is pretty self-explanatory, but the most important part of polyamorous relationships is the love.

Okay… so what are Polyamorous Relationships?

I have scoured my own personal library, the farthest reaches of the interwebs, and even the darkest recesses of Tumblr for a definition of polyamory that works for everything that I want to address in this post, and there really isn’t anything that I found that gave me that Eureka! moment. Polyamory is complicated, for reasons I will happily go into, and a lot of the definitions out there are either too rigid, which forces them to be exclusionary, or too general, which makes them include things like open relationships, which I talked about last week, and swinging, which I will be addressing next week. The problem lies in the fact that polyamory is both a very specific thing and an umbrella term for the various relationship structures that may fall beneath it, but I have to define the term in a way that gives this post a manageable scope and yet is open to the possibility for expansion. I have been wracking my brain trying to come up with a suitable and justifiable definition because I want this part to bear witness to the fact that polyamorous relationships are valid and beautiful when conducted properly (that is to say safely, sanely, consensually, and healthily), so here it goes:

Polyamorous relationships are consensually non-monogamous relationships involving more than two people in which all partners are aware of and acknowledge all other partners, and partners’ partners. If that sounds super technical, bear with me because it’s about to get worse. These relationships may or may not be “open,” which is to say that one or more partners may or may not actively be seeking out additional or rotating partners, and partners within a polyamorous relationship may or may not be involved with every person in the relationship. If that’s hard to follow, don’t worry: there will be diagrams later to help sort that out.

While everything about communication, openness, and honesty from the previous two posts certainly applies here, the thing that sets polyamorous relationships apart from open relationships and other consensually non-monogamous relationships is the fact that there is some level of acknowledgment, awareness, and involvement between each member of the relationship, but this involvement does not need to be sexual or romantic in nature for each internal relationship.

An example, if you will:

Pat and Alex are in a committed, open and loving relationship. Pat meets Sam. Sam is aware of and acknowledges Pat and Alex’s relationship. Pat develops a committed, loving relationship with Sam. At this point: Pat, Alex, and Sam are in a polyamorous relationship. Alex and Sam become friends and develop a social relationship. Pat engages sexually and romantically with both Alex and Sam as individuals. Pat, Alex, and Sam may engage socially as a unit. Alex and Sam become lovers. The dynamic of the polyamorous relationship changes. Pat engages with Alex and Sam sexually and romantically as individuals; Alex engages with Sam and Pat sexually and romantically as individuals; Sam engages with Pat an Alex sexually and romantically as individuals. The three may or may not occasionally all engage with each other sexually or romantically. Pat, Alex, and Sam decide that they are all they will ever need and form a ritualistic meditation triangle that opens a gate to a higher plane of existence as they transcend humanity and become fourth dimensional, soul-bonded beings or something (I imagine)… (*Please note, this is meant to be a joke. One of the most frequent myths that come up with when people talk about polyamory is that people who practice polyamory are somehow more evolved or enlightened, which is ridiculous. People who identify as polyamorous are still people.)

Now this is not meant to be an all-inclusive example. This is just a bare bones look at one possible way that a polyamorous relationship may develop. Notice when that relationship structure technically becomes a polyamorous relationship, though. It first occurs when Pat is in a committed, loving relationship with more than one person. Although this is a fantasy relationship and everything flows extremely smoothly and they’re all genderless and sexually open individuals who are cool with possibly engaging sexually and romantically with other genderless and sexually open individuals, I hope you can see how internal relationships may work within a polyamorous relationship and how the romantic and sexual aspects of each relationship may ebb and flow.

So… It’s not just about sex?

Oh, hypothetical reader, you ask all the right questions at exactly the right time! And they say you’re just a rhetorical device. I think I might be falling in love with you. Correct! Polyamorous relationships are not about sex. Or, at least, not just about sex. Think of it this way: an asexual panromantic person can totally be involved in a polyamorous relationship. *surprised gasp followed by Nick Kroll saying, “Wait, what?!”*

Polyamorous relationships are about diversified need fulfillment through multiple partners. They involve experiencing love with more than one partner, and not just bodily love, not even just romantic love. Before Alex and Sam became romantically involved in our example, they experienced that sort of social love, that philia, that wanting good things for the other person simply because they acknowledge that the other is a good person who deserves good things. Maybe they bonded over their mutual love of Pat, which is totally valid. Pat is a great person. Maybe they just really like the same type of sports ball and color combinations. Maybe Pat doesn’t like that sports ball team and thinks those color combinations are hideous. Alex and Sam bond over their mutual disagreement with Pat. Silly Pat, don’t you know that their sports ball team is the best team…

Polyamorous relationships are not just constant threesomes, foursomes, or more-somes. Sure, there may be polyamorous relationships that exclusively engage sexually through group sex, but there are also plenty of people in polyamorous relationships who never engage erotically with more than one partner at a time. Allowing yourself to experience a wider breadth of your own sexual needs and desires doesn’t change who you are as a person. If you think group sex is gross from an individual perspective, then regardless of how many romantic relationships you may be developing at one time, you probably shouldn’t force yourself into a threesome with your partner and their metamour. If you think group sex is just the bees’ knees and your partner and their metamour are into it and you, then more power to you, but both are valid and beautiful and wonderful expressions of polyamory.

Now, I know what you might be thinking, by including non-sexual love in this equation, aren’t I just opening this up to something like a deep-rooted friendship cluster? As long as at least one or more pairings within the deep-rooted friendship cluster are involved in some form of committed loving relationship, then yes, absolutely. That is exactly what I am doing. And now you might be seeing the grander appeal of polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous relationships are essentially your chosen family, in the same way that, say, a spouse is your chosen family in a monogamous relationship. And now that Steven Universe suggestion at the beginning makes a lot more sense. If you think of dancing/fusions in the series as an expression of sexual love, then it becomes pretty obvious that the Crystal Gems are in a polyamorous relationship. They are not family but they are certainly more than friends. They all clearly love one another, and there’s even some co-parenting involved in the first season when Steven is coming into his own. Yes, I recognize that it is all more complicated than that, but then again so are polyamorous relationships.

Polyamory by the Numbers

So polyamory is enjoying its time in the spotlight right now, and recent studies have shown that this phenomenon isn’t going anywhere. Polyamory is here to stay and is gaining in popularity. In fact, as many as one in five people may be involved in some form of polyamorous relationship in their lifetime, and another study found that 75% of self-identified polyamorists were between the ages of 25 and 44—I see you, fellow millennials, doing your thang—and nearly 60% identified as women. The majority within that latter survey also agreed that polyamory is gaining visibility and that the general population is becoming somewhat more accepting.

What? In this Economy?

Generally speaking, attitudes towards sex and sexuality have been growing more accepting since the mid ‘60s. That might be why the self-identified polyamorists are skewing a little bit younger. Social pressures and sexual shame may be keeping people in the higher age brackets in the closet, but I think it’s a little more complicated than that. If, like me, you know what it’s like to be a child of divorce, you might see the institution of marriage as a waste of space and the government over-stepping its bounds by regulating family structures and getting in bed with sacramental religious practices, and so it might make sense to forgo marriage altogether. You might even take it one step further and outright reject monogamy as a practice, as well, thus opening yourself up to the possibility of polyamory.

But looking at it from a different perspective, how many millennials are out there right now struggling to make ends meet? Doesn’t a communal living arrangement seem like a better option than moving back in with your parents? A mostly platonic but semi-romantic love unit with five of your closest friends cohabiting with you, helping to pay your bills, and maybe even co-parenting your children could absolutely relieve some of that financial burden, and if actual love is involved it might even fulfill some of your emotional needs, as well. So yes, polyamory is absolutely a political tool. It is absolutely a rejection of the institution of marriage and government involvement in shaping family structures. Heck, it’s even a big FUCK YOU! to capitalism. But not for everyone who practices it, for some, it’s just about finding love within more than one person, and allowing yourself to experience that love freely.

What Polyamory is Not:

Polyamory is not polygamy, or plural marriage. Again, many people identify who identify as polyamorous do so as a rejection of the idea of monogamy and the institution of marriage. Polygamy also has a very specific connotation, especially in America, and hearkens images of men with many wives, trying to secure their own legacy through their biological imperative to reproduce. While the love that polyamorous individuals may certainly be equal to that between two spouses in a monogamous relationship, polyamory generally rejects the notion of a relationship hierarchy, which is why we have things like the solo-poly identity, or one person identifying as polyamorous and having multiple partners, but rejecting the notion of a primary relationship and instead focusing on their own personal development, growth, and need fulfillment.

Polyamory is also not for everyone, which is fine, but even if you do not identify as polyamorous, I hope this post at least serves to provide some information and lets you see that polyamorous relationships are valid and beautiful things when conducted properly, just like monogamous relationships are.

Polyamory is also not accepted by the general population as a whole. Polyamorous relationships are queer relationships, and, as such, face discrimination. Even when the people involved all identify as heterosexual, there is still a stigma generally associated with being in a polyamorous relationship, equating it with promiscuity and looseness of morals. Polyamory is generally left out of the conversation when we talk about protected categories of identity and people certainly do face discrimination for being involved in polyamorous relationships. Apart from facing the general ignorance, people can be and have been fired from their workplace or shunned by their family and friends for being polyamorous. Please treat polyamorous relationships with the respect and understanding they deserve because, chances are, based on those numbers from earlier, you probably know someone who is or has been involved in a polyamorous relationship.

So about Those Diagrams…

As promised, here are some of the possible relationship structures within the polyamory umbrella. To be clear, though, this is not an extensive list, and it’s important to not try and force your relationship to match one of these images. Make your own shape. Be your own colors. Throw a bunch of dots on a page and draw some lines between them.

How to Let Polyamory Work for You

Polyamorous relationships can be tricky, but following the lines of thought from my posts on consensual non-monogamy as a whole and open relationships, there are some guidelines you can keep in mind if you are interested in allowing polyamory to work for you. One of the most important things to keep in mind when developing a polyamorous relationship is acknowledging that any relationship is its own organic, living, and growing thing that will change and develop over time. Your relationships with your partners or your partner’s/partners’ partner(s) are all unique, and no two-person relationship within the framework of a polyamorous relationship is going to be exactly the same as any other, and that’s okay. If your partner has a partner that you’re not terribly keen on, that’s okay. What is most important is that you are acknowledging your partner’s needs and allowing them to experience love.

By allowing relationships to grow and breathe naturally, you may avoid one of the pitfalls that many inexperienced polyamorous couples face: forcing or coercing your relationship to fit the mold of something you think you want will not work. Generally speaking, if you’re expectation is that you will join an existing couple and easily slip into a triad, in which you are all romantically and sexually involved with each other, you’re more than likely going to be disappointed. Like with open relationships in general, to make polyamory work you really kind of have to put your pride away and practice some humility. You have to expect little, and try to let things develop naturally. Forcing any relationship, monogamous or non-monogamous, into what you think it should be will put undue pressure on everyone involved and will more than likely leave everyone hurt at the end of it all.

People are wonderful, silly, complex beings all with their own idiosyncrasies and each individual person will have their own ideas and desires and needs in any given relationship. Polyamorous relationships, by their very nature, involve more people, and those interconnected relationships are only going to provide additional layers of complexity. People generally don’t like being pigeonholed. Trying to force an entire relationship, and even more than one relationship, into the confines of a very box tends to not work. It is exceedingly difficult to be an established couple and only to date a third person together and demand that that potential partner love both of you the exact same way is extremely unreasonable. If you don’t even love each other the same way because you are different people who give and receive love in different ways, how can you expect someone else to love you both identically. This is, after all, about relationships and love. Each partner needs to have a voice, and each voice needs to be respected and seen as valid. If you’re looking to add another partner to the wonderful thing that is your love, treat them like a partner, not like a living sex toy or a spare part.

There are real people involved in these relationships, and that means people can really be hurt. If you’re only interested in racking up points for your imaginary game between you and your partner, trying to determine who can hook up with the most people, then polyamory probably isn’t for you. You cannot keep score in polyamorous relationships. I know those diagrams might have given you a different impression, but polyamory really isn’t about math. It’s not about making sure a partner’s time is expertly and evenly divided between all of their lovers equally, it’s about allowing your partner to meet their needs, and potentially doing so without your direct involvement from time to time.

The concept of fairness within polyamorous relationships needs to be equally organic. There may be times when one partner, for whatever reason, is going through some sort of crisis or is facing problems or for whatever reason needs more support and attention. And that’s okay, as long as that support is available to all the people in the relationship when they need it. Likewise, one partner may be better equipped to provide a particular type of support and might need to step up and offer that support when the time comes. This can also lead to feelings of jealousy and resentment based in our own fears of inadequacy, but at some point, within any polyamorous relationship, you’re going to have to accept and embrace the fact that it’s not all about you.

With that being said, though, it’s okay to frame your needs from your perspective. Time for some Relationship Therapy/Conflict Resolution 101: there’s a very important difference between asking yourself “Are my needs being met?” and “Am I getting what that person is getting?” These are where those “I” statements and “you” statements come into play. By all means, voice your needs, your concerns, your desires, but don’t make it a competition. Likewise, allow your partners or your partner’s(s’) partner’s the opportunity to express their own needs and desires and, certainly, any doubts or concerns they might be having.

I know that addressing problems is never comfortable. Approaching a person who is behaving in a way that causes you pain or who isn’t meeting your needs carries emotional risk, and being involved with more than one person can make that anxiety feel like it’s growing exponentially, but like I said in my post on open relationships, toxic qualities don’t just magically vanish when someone enters a polyamorous relationship. These things need to be addressed, otherwise they will fester and grow and infect the other internal relationships within your polyamorous relationship. I know it’s tempting to let the little things slide, but you really cannot do that, in any relationship. If something bothers you, it’s going to continue to bother you until it’s been addressed.

Just keep in mind, polyamory is never going to be the solution to a struggling relationship, but nor is it usually going to be the problem. If you’re thinking about maybe joining an existing couple, take a good look at their current existing relationship. If you see a lot of toxic qualities within their relationship, you’re not going to manic pixie dream girl the shit out of their hellscape into something beautiful. If you treat each individual within the relationship as a fully recognized individual you will generally be all right. Just allow yourself to be flexible and realize why you’re exploring polyamory in the first place: because you recognize that you have a vast array of needs and desires and you want to experience love in all of its forms, and you want your partners to experience their version of that too.

One Final Thought…

There is so much hate and dread and despair in this world, even if, at the end of this article, you don’t identify as polyamorous yourself, I hope that you can take that away from this post: an openness to love in all of its forms.

#polyamory #polyamorous #poly #relationships

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katiecat446 · 7 years

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All the nsfw questions even though some are doubles ;)

1:When did you lose your virginity?

Kind of a hard question to answer. I’m gonna go with 16 bc that’s the first time I had sex that was safe sane and consensual and I really don’t want to count what happened before that.

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

Depends on my mood, but I usually enjoy rough sex a bit more.

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

I don’t know of any that would be considered unusual, but then again I don’t think that most kinks are unusual.

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

My in-law’s driveway, my community college’s theatre, multiple parking lots

5: Favourite sex position?

Doggy style for sure

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

Submissive as fuck

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

Sorta I guess

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

Bed wtf

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Many

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

I don’t think so, no

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

Boyshort style with ice cream cones on them

12: How often do you have sex?

When I’m at home with my fiance, 1-3 times a day. When I’m up at school, rarely until he comes to visit me for a bit

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

My fiance. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Trent Reznor

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Both tbh

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

Deepthroated so far I threw up

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

Anything by Nine Inch Nails tbh

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

I honestly do not know. I don’t usually put music on.

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Like in lingerie? No

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

Shower. How the fuck do you have sex in the bathtub

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

Repeat question

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

I have, yes.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

I do

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

Of course

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?My fiance is my best friend so... yeah lmao

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)Drink lots of water, cuddle.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?Dominant behavior from my fiance.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?Both

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?Legs for some reason

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?All of them lmao

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want

anyone to find:Nothing, really.

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

I honest to god do not know

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

I have. Earthy? is the word I would use?

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

I haven’t used a condom (other than with a two-night stand) in over two years

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

None. Food shouldn’t be involved in sex. It causes stickiness at best and yeast infections at worst

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

At work, I would think

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?Yes of course

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

plz don’t call it fapping

38: Best sexual complement you ever got?

I’ve been told by every penis-having partner I’ve had that I am exceptional at giving head

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

Butt grabbing and having my hair played with

40: What do you wear to bed?

Usually nothing or just a big tshirt

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

That’s kind of a sketchy question bc obviously most people masturbate when they’re going through puberty, which is age 9-14 and that’s underage my guys!

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

lol yeah a ton

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

Quite a while ago

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

I have

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

Repeat question

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

Nothing, really.

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

No, its usually super inaccurate and fetishizing. Also I don’t really watch porn bc I’m too poor to spend on something like that and I’m against watching stolen content on free tubesites instead of paying like people should.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

hell fuckin yeah

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

I like them if they are done well

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

tbh I’m really into that concept

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

anything with sugar! That’s how yeast infections happen!

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

Lmao the word pr*stitute is a slur, the proper term is a Full-Service Sex Worker (FSSW) or an escort. Knowing people in both industries, I would probably go for a porn actress.

53: Do you watch porn?

See answer a bit further back

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Not specifically, no?

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

I don’t mind pubic hair as long as its clean and hopefully a bit maintained

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

I honestly don’t know lmao

58: Booty or Boobs?

both

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Nope!

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

-Jack off

-Swing my dick around like a helicopter

-Walk around at night without fear of being assaulted

-Talk in an academic setting and find out what its like to not be talked over

-Enjoy the feeling of a body without boob-caused back problems

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

Yup

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Yup

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

N/A

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

I don’t really masturbate

65. What is your bra/penis size?

38 DDD

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

nothing strange??

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

Maybe like... a month ago or longer than that lmao

68. When was the last time you had sex?

This morning

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

Maybe a month or two ago

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

First sex toy I bought myself was a hard silicone dildo, last toy I bought was a flexible synthskin on with a strap-on harness

71. Guys Penises: Circumsized?

Not a huge preference, but sex is easier with someone uncircumsized

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

All of it? lmao I have touch starvation issues

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

The...genital...part???

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

lmao no

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

nada

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

I have no idea

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

Don’t really remember any

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

Almost all of my friends tbh

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?TRENT REZNOR

80. Favorite sexual position?

Repeat question

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

No, and also wh*re is a slur don’t fucking use it :)

82. Are you into any BDSM?

Yup!

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldn't for any reason? Why?

This is worded really creepily...

84. Do you like dirty talk?

Hearing it, yes

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

I’m in the middle I think

86. Have you ever been interrupted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

lmao yeah I don’t have my own place so I get interrupted a lot

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Again, don’t really watch

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

My partners, yeah

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

Yeah

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

Repeat question

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

My one-night stands were FWB situations. Not still beneficial at the moment, but the offer is always open

#ask #asks #response #Anonymous

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