#- which in turn made those fears come true. it gave michael the perfect opportunity to twist the knife in zacks gut. turn his worst fear -

[crayonverse]

i need to mkae. m y own gacha react video so i cant stop being so sick and evil abut ein because noone gets him right . ramble in tags ok ay byteee

[tiberius-ttd]

Wraithlike Stirrings

Commander Tiberius:

**(Memory)**

I fly the transport ship through the gate to the prearranged location. Our diplomatic party consists of myself, Claudius and Lastlight, as well as a handful of drones. It is safer for our Mother not to attend such unpredictable events in-person, and Father trusts me well enough to be comfortable remaining at her side.

As we near the meeting place, I gain a sense of my brother’s minds, and perceive a stark contrast. It is why I chose them to accompany me in the first place, the one balances the other. Yet in this case, neither temperament is ideal. Claudius is on edge, whilst Lastlight is perhaps too confident. I chide them both.

((It is in both parties’ interests to form an alliance. I do not expect trouble. Nevertheless, the wraith who is unprepared for trouble is the wraith that ends up captured or killed.))

I look to Lastlight at that last comment. He is brilliant, undoubtedly, but not unstoppable. He rolls his eyes at me, of course, but Claudius takes my words to heart. I sense his nerves turn to brave resolve, and I send him rare praise, before further addressing Lastlight.

((Queen Agrippina is unlikely to attend herself, but her daughter may be present. From all accounts, she is a noble Princess with a strong mind, so you might wish to be careful around her.))

I privately remind him of the time he was allowed to meet Princess Rubyrose; he acted like a babbling idiot for most of that meeting. Of course, Mother is already considering arranging a betrothal between the two, anything for darling Lastlight. She is much the same with our youngest brother, the newly-named Caelus. Though what she sees in him, I am less sure of. So far he seems… vapid… I sense that Father hardly approves either, not that he would ever outwardly question Mother’s decisions.

In any case, no matter Mother’s approval, Lastlight will have to wait. Even if Princess Rubyrose is agreeable to the match, my betrothal must come first as the eldest. I sense Lastlight is hopeful that I will be taken with this Princess today, if she does indeed attend the discussions. Hm, we shall see. I am not so easily impressed as him…

I land the ship and step outside onto the world of Aequus. This planet and worlds like it have long been used for negotiations, and are viewed as neutral ground. Wraith worshippers have also been allowed to settle here, so that they have a safe place to live and reproduce when not in service… and we have access to quick and easy meals during long discussions. Some of the humans approach us without fear, but I wave them away. I do not care for their pomp or adulation, they are as irrelevant to me as the trees, except for when I am hungry.

No sooner have we landed than I hear the sound of the stargate activating in the distance. It seems this hive also values punctuality, a good start. Moments later, their transport ship arrives. As soon as it comes into close proximity, I can sense her. I called her noble before, but the word does not do her justice. She is… perfection! Everything a true wraith Queen should aspire to be and more! Courageous, but not foolhardy; intelligent, but not to the point of detachment; caring of her men, but not at the cost of weakness. I had said earlier that I was not easily impressed, but how could any being not be overcome with devotion to such a mind? To such a Queen. To Princess Vipsania.

She emerges from the ship, and her appearance is just as breath-taking as her mind. Silvery blonde hair cascades down past her shoulders in ringlets. Its colour is only exemplified by outfit she wears; all black, with an air of both elegance and practicality. If her hair is silver, her eyes are gold, and as I look at them she holds my gaze. I sense her own fascination with my mind, and she boldly approaches ahead of her brothers. I can hardly breathe as she stops only a few feet away from me, never breaking eye-contact, and gives me a curious smile.

(Vipsania): “And who might you be?”

**

(Vipsania): “Tiberius… Please… help me.”

(Michael): “Set her free, Tiberius. Free her wretched head from her miserable shoulders.”

“AHHHHH!”

****

The first sensation that returns as I awaken is pain. All of those memories, times spent with Vipsania, with Lastlight… and then remembering how everything went to hell. Even now, cured as I am, I cannot bring to mind all that took place during her last few hours. However, there are certain parts that (memory drugs aside) will never leave me. Her screaming, her blood- so much blood- and sensing her mind weaken and fade throughout it all. I was so close to her, mere inches away, and yet there was nothing that I could do to stop it. All I could do was watch, and feel her pain alongside her. Until she gave me her final request. And I had to…

I block that memory, refusing to let it overwhelm me once more. I remind myself that, even in death, I did for her what I could. I sent her head (released from that awful box) into her favourite star, so that she would forever be a part of it. Not only that, but with her brain destroyed, Michael could never hurt her again. And now… now I can truly say that she has been avenged! She is no longer merely a distant memory in Michael’s mind- one of many countless Queens he caused the death of- and he surely rues the day that he ripped our lives asunder! For now he KNOWS my pain, both for my child and for Vipsania!

My thoughts turn from them, to the one who allowed me to gain my vengeance. Nala… in the end, I pity my unfortunate sister. Despite my best attempts, the actions the Lanteans had taken could not be undone. She was as much of a freak as Michael, though in a different way, one which was arguably more sympathetic. The desire to care for her brothers remained, yet her nature was too weakened and corrupted to be in any fit state to rule. Needless to say, the corruption was only made worse in the presence of Michael! I saw it in these past two weeks (the memories of which seem much like a waking nightmare in my head), and I saw it when I first brought her back to the hive, all those years ago. I knew then that I could not repeat Mother’s mistake. If the worst were to happen- if my attempts at teaching her civility were to fail, or worse, Michael were to reclaim her- countermeasures must be prepared. I would not allow her to fall back into the depths of depravity, and release another abomination back out into the galaxy. For our sake, but also for hers. If I could give my sister nothing else, then I would give her peace. Of course, if she had to die, and her death were to occur in front of Michael, I would not waste the opportunity to teach him such a lesson in grief…

My thoughts are interrupted as I hear Hypnos’ voice in my head, asking about my current condition. I send him my utmost praise and gratitude! I dread to think of what may have befallen us had he not made preparations. Or even more alarmingly, if he had informed Michael of what was to occur. He may be a scientist, but I owe him my freedom and my life. I will not forget such a debt.

His own mind pulses with a heavy sorrow. I… share his regret at the fate of Marcellus and Caelus. Telling them about the poison would have been too great a risk, it was wise of Hypnos to withhold that knowledge from us all. However, it meant that they were ill-prepared for the escape, and circumstances being what they were at that debauched ‘celebration’, we had no choice but to leave them behind. My instincts were right in what I said to Hypnos afterwards, that we should not attempt a rescue for them, but only now do I have full insight into my reasonings. Any signs that we care for their predicament will only encourage Michael to use them against us. It was my mistake, my terrible mistake, to go back for Vipsania. I will not allow that to happen twice! If he sees no use for them on my behalf, if he believes that I do not care… they are nothing to him, he bears them no ill will, he will surely gift them the mercy of a quick death for their ‘loyalty’ in staying behind. Such is my hope, that they do not have to remain with him and suffer in his atrocious ‘kingdom’ for long.

My own time spent there… how do I even begin to process all that happened… and yet process it I must, if I wish to be in a position to address the men. I must face the humiliation and share all of my memories with them, first and foremost so that they understand the dangers of being captured by Michael. The recollections will also provide my brothers with all of the intelligence I was able to glean whilst I was… worse than a prisoner… a shell of a man…

The first attempt, ‘Tibby’, was undoubtedly the worst. Not for the many human acts I was compelled to perform- degrading as they were- but for the sickening emotions imprinted into my mind. The ‘happiness’ at being with the abomination, the ‘love’ I felt for the thing that hurt not one, but two of my Queens, my Father and so many of my brothers. I had thought that I could experience no more shame, after failing my siblings, Queen and child, but truly they all would have loathed me, to see me in such a state.

The second attempt was perhaps not as humiliating as the first, but I was still just as pathetic a creature in many ways. All of those weaklings whose foolish behaviour I was ordered to endure; the human children, the warped wraith scientist, the hordes of Michael’s hybrid freaks. Should any ever cross me again, my blade hand is ready. Then again, most of them will likely die long before they could ever track me down, either from their own stupidity, or from Michael’s disgusting new infection. As for Michael himself… being subjected to those ridiculous verbal battles with him... that is, when Nala was not present and he indulged her delusional, human-like family ‘games’… Well, such weakness on his own behalf is what allowed me to destroy that horrific planet. As for what strategy is to be employed against him next… well, that is a conversation to have with my remaining brothers. I have dwelt long enough on the past.

I make my way to the hibernation pods, blocking anything that is not useful or needed out of my head. As Father always taught me, I must be strong for them. The hybridisation alone will be a heavy blow for my brothers to take in when they awaken. How they will handle the news of all that has transpired, I cannot say. Nevertheless, I owe them every detail of the truth. Unlike Michael, I will not lie or make excuses for my actions. I will not beg for their forgiveness, and if they consider my actions to be regicide, I will do my duty and undergo exile.

I inform Hypnos of my plans, and send the few drones we have left to the bridge to relieve him. I give him the option of rest, but he chooses to join the others. I meet him at the entrance to the hibernation chamber and, when we are both ready, I deactivate all of the pods.

[jadelotusflower]

Robin Hood Rewatch: 2x08 Get Carter!

This is actually one of my favourite episodes of the season, partly because I really enjoy relationship angst, but mostly because we get multiple characters dealing with their trauma/grief. If we can't get these guys and gals into therapy, at least we get to see them talk (and hug) it out.

Also the best episode title they're had for a while - I have no doubt one of the writers is a fan, and Carter is so named only because they wanted to make this reference. The assassin seeking revenge for a dead brother is wholesale lifted from the plot of the film, and Joseph Kennedy almost has a passing resemblance to Michael Caine's look in that role.

"Get Carter - before Carter gets you!"

Carter is one of the only guest stars they actually will bring back later, and for good reason.

"Why don't you ever kiss my ring?" Vaisey, always making things creepy.

Marian is simmering with unrestrained anger, eager to get into the fight, while Robin is the one advocating for the watch and see approach, and it’s quite the role reversal.

The gang's reaction to her charging off is quite funny though, she knocks John over completely and Djaq throws her hands in the air.

Robin’s now getting a taste of what the rest of the gang have to put up with dealing with his recklessness.

Tying Marian up in the middle of a melee, however, is disgusting behaviour - while Marian was hot-headed throwing herself into the fight (nothing Robin hasn't done before himself), he knows that she can hold her own with a sword and doesn't need protecting. Tying her hands is the absolute worst thing he could have done, because how is she meant to defend herself? I can somewhat understand where Robin is coming from in this episode (even if he goes about it badly), but this is unjustifiable.

Clearly she gave that guard she clanked on the head amnesia, because he never reports back that Marian was fighting with the gang.

“I owe you my life”/“I won’t take it just yet.” Nice.

Scimitar is still missing in action.

Robin doesn’t want Marian to be seen in case she needs to return to the castle, when he’s spent the whole season urging for her to join the gang. I think he realises he made a mistake asking her to flee last episode without giving her time to deal with her grief, and wants to leave her options open. But telling her that she’s not ready to make the decision (about whatever she wants to go back), however correct, is patronising.

There's a fundamental conflict that Marian wants to be treated like a member of the gang, but doesn't want to cede to Robin's authority like the rest of the gang - in turn Robin expects her to follow his orders like the others, but isn't treating her like he would the others either - he would never tie them up to keep them out of a fight, and Marian has every right to pissed at him about it.

Djaq and Much having a little tête-à-tête about Carter - I just really enjoy that they’re often paired together in these gang scenes, they balance/play off each other so well. Just this pure platonic frazzled vs calm vibe.

Much just has this really great memory for faces - he was able to recognise fake Richard last season just from his profile despite wearing a helmet, and now he knows he remembers Carter's face from somewhere (or as it will turn out, Carter's brother).

Much really just does not let up, and I love that about him. "You'll be disappointed though, with uh, today's wound. I mean if you're planning to go back to the Holy Land and, uh, kill him." That not so subtle probing for information and Sam Troughton's delivery is always perfect.

"Wasn't me, was it?" Oh Much, so close.

“The crusty one” - lol

It's not explicit, but implied that Vaisey and Guy believe Edward was the one passing information to Robin, and Marian is cleared of any suspicion (paving the way for her return). Guess Guy never showed the Sheriff that hair dagger after all.

Vaisey is actually giving Guy some really good advice here, albeit laced with his usual cruelty and getting all up in Guy's personal space.

"Grow up Gisborne" - now I don't think it's deliberate on Vaisey's part to invoke a Marian parlance, seeing as she really only says this to Robin (and once to Much), but it's a nice little callback, however unintentional.

Marian asks for an apology (and deserves one), but Robin doubles down and doesn't come out of this exchange well.

Because his delivery is terrible, but he's otherwise quite correct - as skilled as Marian is, she’s used to relying on (and having to worry about) only herself and not work in a team, and look to a single point of command. But both of them have their backs up - they're two strong personalities and neither is going to give ground, reverting to the ideological clashes of season 1, except now in much closer quarters.

Robin's also not used to being challenged in this particular way, and in his frustration is reacting like a captain disciplining a soldier, not a lover helping their partner through their grief. I do wonder if the conversation would have gone differently if they'd been alone.

lol at the gang awkwardly standing around listening to Robin and Marian fight. Djaq trying to busy herself with her mortar and pestle as Robin and Marian argue around her.

A really great scene between Marian and John aka the camp dad. Marian really just needs someone to listen to her and appreciate what she's going through - Robin is too fixated on the dangerous way she's channeling her grief and not even trying to address the root cause. He trying to tell her what to do, not listen to what she actually needs.

On the other hand it's probably better coming from John, a neutral party without the emotional baggage she has with Robin.

Because Robin and Marian are really being driven by completely different motives - Marian by grief and therefore loss, and Robin by trauma and therefore fear. In her sorrow, Marian has lost all her fear of being discovered, in fact she wants to make it know she's with the gang, to finally be free to say which side she's on and fight openly, to make her father's death worthwhile, and can't understand why Robin is trying to stifle that.

"I thought you used to have your own men Little John?" So someone remembers Forrest and Hanton!

After Carter takes down the gang one by one, Robin takes down Carter in three seconds (including catching the long dagger Carter throws at him, and flinging it back) and it's lights out. Can you believe it's the first concussion of the season? (Notwithstanding the multiple head injuries Allan sustained last episode).

While Marian has been known to be punch-happy, the "he'll tell us more if he knows we're willing to hurt him" is just so (intentionally) out of character - it is however somewhat reminiscent of Robin in 1x08, wanting to get his punch and torture on with Guy. However rather than understanding where Marian is coming from, he pushes her away with the "go and cook something" jibe. This almost feels like he was going for familiar banter and miscued, but is also an asshole thing to say. When their positions were reversed in 1x08 Marian at least tried to reason with him - Robin is seems to be ill-equipped to do the same.

Allan just having a little snooze against the castle wall. He really seems defeated and depressed after last episode.

Marian's corset has a pouch to hold a dagger - or at least I hope there is because otherwise it's ouch time.

Leaving Marian at the camp is again a mistake on Robin's part - it excludes and isolates her from the gang, rather than trying to involve her so she can bond with them, engaging in their outreach to the peasants - who she helped as the Nightwatchman, but never really had the opportunity to come to know. It would remind her that they are not just fighting against the Sheriff but for the people, which in her frenzied grief she has perhaps lost sight of.

Instead, Robin's focus is on Carter, who he rather identifies with and so finds it easier to address his motives, and try and change them.

Carter is in many ways Robin’s dark mirror, what he could have become in the Holy Land if he chose a different path. It’s important that this happens right when Robin is backsliding - he’s trying to save his own soul as much as Carter’s.

Okay, let's talk about Marian’s forest gear - fashioned from the outfit she wore when she fled the castle the previous episode - but dear me it's awful. The grey culottes, rather than becoming trousers have now been turned into that corset, and her vest/skirt overlay have now become those trousers. Just baffling.

“I’m good with nuns” followed by Allan straight up knocking the Mother Superior over and stealing her ring is iconic.

Much gives Robin a sword to use going after Carter - still no scimitar.

I really love the confrontation/fight scene between Robin and Carter - it's very well choreographed and written, but we also see the best of Robin's character (after seeing some of the worst earlier).

Carter's brother is called Thomas - Allan's brother was called Tom. Lots of dead brothers in this show (including Djaq's).

The story of Carter's brother Thomas dying because he "stopped listening" and led a raid against orders is a little on the nose, but gives context to Robin’s fear for Marian’s safety in part triggered by his war trauma - someone charging in against orders and then dying in his arms.

But it shows Robin as a man who, even when Thomas' recklessness had cost not only his own life but others of Robin's men, was still moved to instruct the stretcher-bearers to make Thomas the hero, and himself the negligent captain, in order to comfort his family.

The fight is fairly even, and although Robin gets the upper hand in the end, it's only partly his skill - rather his true strength is in reaching the man inside the assassin, and then surrender and allow Carter to take his revenge if that's what he wants, and despite his fear, trust that there is good still in him, and that he can leave behind the life as a killer as Robin has done (tried to do).

This scene is the core of why I really love Robin as a character. He's riddled with PTSD and a reckless bravado, he's at time emotionally stunted with those he loves, makes terrible mistakes and often says the wrong thing, but he also has this great heart and compassion that allows him to reach people, to understand and help them, even at the risk of his own life. He's trying.

"He was a hero - just not on that day" is quite a poignant line.

Much and Djaq together again, just saying.

Robin finally finds out that Roger of Stoke was intercepted. I had assumed he'd figured that out once he knew Allan was a traitor but okay.

Poor Much crying out for Robin's attention - he's got his own trauma from the war and wants to talk about it, to commiserate with Robin about what they went though, but Robin can only cope by not talking about it, not even thinking about it.

Much makes a good point that Robin should have listened to him about recognising Carter, but it comes across as jealously over Marian and Robin misses just how deeply Much carries his hurt.

One of Robin's biggest flaws is that he's overwhelming in his affection, compassion, and understanding for strangers, but takes those he loves for granted - Carter's response to grief was the same as Marian's, but Robin listened to Carter, consoled and comforted him, while keeping Marian at arm's length. Perhaps because strangers don't ask for anything beyond that - it is the granting of kindness, but not the sharing of self. It's the latter Robin truly fears, but what Much and Marian deserve (although tbf Marian has problems with this as well).

“Either I’m part of your gang or I’m not” is a valid point, and Robin's still not happy even when she agrees to stay behind!

But she disobeys him, and saves his life. It's a rite of passage - almost all of the members of the gang have this.

Allan looking rather distressed as Guy is about the chop off Robin's head, and he makes a small movement just before the swing (as does Much).

Guy again pushing Marian past the point of discomfort - she left, wrote him a letter asking him to leave her alone, straight up told him to his face to leave her alone, and still he persists.

Her kissing Guy (to distract him from seeing Much and Will) is really the only time she sends mixed signals, but Guy's whole energy seems to be just to wear her down until she agrees to be with him and it's gross. It is however kind of amusing that he tries to be authoritative and forbid her from leaving, and she immediately walks away.

Robin and Marian are back in playful banter mode, although I wish there had been a deeper discussion (and that Robin had apologised in return). It doesn't quite feel like the conflict between them has been resolved, it really is just a "truce".

But I do like that it's Marian who reaches out to Robin at the end of this episode, because up until this point it's Robin who has been (somewhat) the one making overtures - asking her to join the gang, telling her he needs her, telling her he loves her, while Marian's been more reserved. This feels like her acknowledging that sometimes she needs to take the first step.

This was a long one - but as a I said, I really love this episode!

[isamariejones-blog]

( hey demons it’s ya boi ( or girl idc at this point the gender of the day? cheetos )  jinx and i’m here with my one of my fave ocs isabella jones!! i hope everyone is doing well and pls like this if you’d like to plot and i’ll come bother u! )

is that ( isabella 'isa' jones )? i think i saw the ( thirty-one ) year old ( cis-female ) ( candy store manager & owner ) in the town square earlier. the ( deborah ann woll ) lookalike could be described as ( kind ), but also be considered ( overthinking ). i heard someone in town say ( she ) was the town’s ( heart of gold ), but only time can tell if that’s true or not !

AESTHETIC: always having a deck of cards & candies in her pockets & purses, sugar, curiosity, rain, worn hardback books, broken paper back spines, courage that doesn’t roar, learning to abandon masquerades but having trouble not telling white lies, a fire crackling, exploding when you least expect it, hiking trails. fighting through the fear, recovering one day at a time, forcefully finding peace & screaming off a mountain top. PINTEREST: [ x ]

triggers: eating disorder tw ( i will specifically label it ), illness tw, death tw, drinking tw, drugs tw

quick points before her bio!!!

don’t call her bella, bells, you can use isabella but that’s usually if you know her, she’ll usually introduce her name as isa. Edgelord obviously™

Tired Mom Friend

comes from a wealthy af family that owns a small string of candy stores around the US. one in chicago, one in san francisco  and one in new york!!

if u ever hear this lady raise her voice LMK!!! or run cause she is v soft spoken

she wants to travel the world and climb everywhere and honestly wants to backpack through europe all that eat pray love shit and !!! has not

loves nature tho! a hoe for nature

probs an annoying white person who’ll suggest u try yoga for something wild but SHE MEANS WELL she just likes yoga

*NSYNC VOICE* BI BI BI ( BI BI )

just a heads up – i have extensive experience and have done research w/ eating disorders, and im not here to glamorize it, use it as a plot device etc. still, i will tag it so it doesn’t trigger anyone else!!!

BIOGRAPHY ( it’s long sorry ):

Born on the cusp of winter and spring, March 21,1986, was a day her parents, Michael and Amelia Jones, cherished. They were two highly respected FBI Agents who had been trying for the longest time to conceive children — their  window of opportunity was running out. It was their only way they could think of keeping their marriage together, especially after the war. Both had been through a great deal, including losing two of their previous children ( due to backlash from various enemies they’d made on the job )  and found themselves irreparably changed — but scared of being alone. In turn, they clung to each other and decided to build a new life — starting by restarting a family. Her mother who was almost too old and weathered to have children, went to doctor after healer, trying everything she could to have a child. Finally, their miracle of miracles, Isabella Mari�� Jones was born.

They spoiled their daughter rotten and made sure she was educated in absolutely anything and everything from a young age. Her mother, Amelia, was harder on her daughter than her father was. Especially when it came to food and appearance. She wanted her daughter to be the epitome of perfection but not only that, to grow up a strong woman. Amelia felt by being tough on her daughter, this would cultivate a strong exterior. While this did happen, Isabella was also utterly miserable. Instead of playing games with the other children in their new Chicago suburb, Isabella was learning languages like Spanish, French, German, and just injected with all kinds of knowledge she didn’t really want at the time. Happy was what she wanted, and happiness to her was in the form of being free, especially from these expectations — but going outside to play would do.  Isabella never got the chance and eventually gave up trying to fight her parents, and ultimately instead started trying to please them.

Still, the absence of the children they should have had, weighed heavily on Isabella’s shoulders. Late at night when they thought their prized daughter was asleep, her parents would bicker and cry about how much they missed their other children. Amelia and Michael blamed each other — and all this made Isabella want to do was make them happy even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness. The only truly happy childhood memories Isabella could draw around her childhood revolved around food — which was a great coincidence seeing as her uncle owned a self made business, 'Jonesin' For Sugar' Candy Shop . She was always completely entranced when she went in, and Andrew and Arabella Jones always gave her the parental love she desperately needed and was lacking. Once her mother saw her love sweets she nicknamed her daughter  “Belly”, in an attempt to maybe get her to lay off the candies. It didn’t really work, so her mother’s primping and comments became frequent.

Isabella tried to be what they wanted and it never seemed to be enough even when Isabella became the perfect daughter they wanted her to be. Involved on sports teams, community outreach, perfect grades. Still, to them, Isabella felt just average at best especially when at her preppy private school she never seemed to be the top of her class or the president of their student government. She was always either second best or fell further behind. The girl was under such pressure, one day she just snapped and yelled at her parents, telling them what she thought. Her parents then started to fight, and blaming each other.  In turn, Isabella once again felt she had to make them happy. The cycle continued.

[ !!!! eating disorder tw !!!! ] It was in the beginning of her Junior year that Isabella fully started to feel her parents pressure. Food became a comfort, and she’d often sneak to her uncle and aunts shop to binge on sweets whenever she was nervous or anxious about something. Then, because she felt guilty for eating so much, she’d force herself to throw it up. This became a coping mechanism, and it gave her a sense of calm until it just became something she couldn’t stop. Bulimia was something all her own, something her parents didn’t control. Something she was good at. [ eating disorder tw end ]

[  eating disorder mentions, drugs mention ] At the start and for a long time after that, Isabella’s life became a blur. She maintained her grades, but starting hanging around the wrong side of Chicago -- getting into drugs, drinking, promiscuous sex and even drug dealing for a thrill. After she graduated, her parents practically forced her into her first stint at a treatment center but left when she realized it would interfere with her classes at Northwestern if she stayed any longer. Isabella ended up taking a lot of shifts at her uncle’s store, Jonesin’, and when her uncle fell ill — they trusted her to take care of the store. Since her aunt was always taking care of her husband, they gave complete ownership to Isabella — who felt completely bound to it. Her and her eating disorder were in a hellish like equilibrium as she graduated with a generic degree in Business. To try to cope further with it, she went back into the cycle she fell into during high school ( though, she never really stopped ) -- excessive drinking, meaningless sex, drugs occasionally ( it wasn’t AS bad as high school, she tried to convince herself ) on nights because being in her head was too much to handle. She clung to it, it was her, an escape but knew after a while that those were horrible behaviors to have as well as a disease that ate away at her. Self awareness came slow, but it did, finally come. 

The years she was supposed to use finding herself and discovering who she was have been used to help with Jonesin’ and fuel her disorder. At age 29, she finally looked into treatment and luckily her parents supported her financially but barely emotionally, but it was enough. Isa didn’t know much about what she wanted to do with her life, but she knew it wasn’t destroying herself. Finally, with a residential treatment center in Colorado and Isa opening up to and getting support from some friends – she got better. She became more open. She fought for herself and her sanity and has been in recovery for over two years, healthier than she’s been before.  [  eating disorder mentions end ]

Her parents helped run the family candy store that her aunt and uncle were too ill to do, and as the years went by it gained traction. They opened two more stores, but as Isa raved about how amazing Colorado was -- they figured opening a store in a small town atmosphere would be a risk they were willing to take as well as a good business opportunity without as much competition like Ghiradelli and such. They figured it would also be good to have Isa there, to run the store, overlook it and since she feels indebted to her parents as well as chained to Jonesin’ she agreed -- though she did love Colorado too. She moved there about a year ago after completing intensive outpatient in the city. 

You’ll more than likely see Isabella walking around with a bright smile, walking around, talking with her customers, getting to know each in every one of them. Isa is very caring, extremely kind, but also very nice which sometimes make people think she’s a pushover which she’s really not ( anymore ). She does like to please people, something she’s still not managed to shake off as time has gone by and what really tethers her to Jonesin’ but she’s trying to make the best of it. Being very soft spoken, it’s been really hard for Isa to stand up for herself as well, something she’s working on. She still goes to therapy because even though she’s been behavior free for a couple years, she still wasn’t completely recovered or healed from what years of self destruction did to her. Isa has a quiet fire and she’s doing everything she can to fight & think for herself. 

negative traits: overthinking, guarded, distant, defensive, overly logical

positive traits: maternal, kind, witty/has a sense of humor, intelligent

[real-life-pine-tree]

Leo Will Never Know: Getting Stronger (4/?)

In an alternate timeline, Yugi indirectly prevented the events of Arc-V from ever happening. But how could this small change have an impact on a few selected people? A spin-off of the Arc-V Aftermath series. Based on the hilarious comic by @justanotherotakuandartist​. Co-written with @violetganache42​.

Within a few days, Ray had regained enough strength to go on the Domino City field trip. She has been looking forward to it before falling victim to the Society of Light because she gets an opportunity to visit her father and see how he's been doing the past few years. Michael admitted that it felt weird to be heading back to their hometown for a visit, but it was also remarkable to walk in the streets of a city where some important historical dueling events took place involving his idol Yugi Muto. He never forgot those words of advice to stay true to himself and he still cherished that memory to this day.

Ray noticed Michael's happy expression. "What got you smiling?" she asked.

"Before we met, I got to talk to Yugi Muto himself," Michael said. "He encouraged me to follow my heart and stick to my beliefs. He's the reason why I'm sticking to my Dueltainment dreams."

Ray remembered him telling her his dream to be a Dueltainer and was honestly impressed to learn how much he idolizes Yugi and was the reason for his future. She then began to ponder about her own future…again. While recovering in the nurse's office, she kept thinking about her possible dream to be a fashion designer. Her simple modifications to the female jackets led her to becoming an idol around campus and open up her own uniform repair business. Earlier that same week, the non-converted students were devastated to learn about her being manipulated into joining the Society of Light and the aftermath that followed, which explained the service's sudden hiatus, but they were all relieved that she's alright and that she'll be heading back to fixing up clothes in a little while. She didn't mind her abrupt popularity, but she has come to understand their undying respect, loyalty, and admiration for her, regardless of her being fooled into "embracing the light". Her talent for sewing and modifying clothes contributed into the life she was now living and left a positive impact on the dress code, and quite frankly, she was highly content with that. She hoped that her dream will leave an influence in the fashion world when she gets older.

"Michael, if you manage to become a Dueltainer, can I design your costumes?" Ray asked.

"Really?" Michael asked in response.

Ray smiled and nodded. "During my time in Duel Academy, I have become well-known for being a fashion designer. What if that's my true future?"

Michael definitely knew how much Ray was admired for her fashion skills. It would be awesome if she does utilize them to pursue her dream to design and fix clothes. He even imagined what costumes she would make for him to wear for his Dueltaining career.

"Sure," Michael said. "Can't wait to see what costumes you have in mind for my performances."

Ray's face became happy upon hearing those words of support. It was obvious that everyone adored the clothes she made and repaired, so being a fashion designer was officially going to be her future.

Not long after the two's discussion, the Duel Academy students arrived at Domino City. Everyone scattered all over the city; most of them gave themselves tours as they went to locations where important events occurred from Battle City while Sartorius headed towards KaibaCorp to talk to Kaiba about something. As for Michael and Ray, they walked down the streets together, talking about how it felt nice to be back in their hometown. She mentioned how she knows what her dad's hours are, so she'll visit him after he's done working. As usual, knowing the couple, they always unintentionally come across Jaden with his friends; this time, they saw him at the pier with Syrus and Hassleberry, who were both arguing about Yugi's duel against a mind-controlled Joey and—not surprisingly—who is worthy of being Jaden's best friend.

"Have you noticed something is a bit off with that Hassleberry guy?" Michael asked.

"Aside from having dinosaur DNA?" Ray asked.

"Not just that," Michael clarified. "It's how he treats Jaden."

"What about it?" Ray asked.

"He seems a little more chummy towards him," Michael said. "He even calls him 'sarge'."

Ray immediately knew what Michael was talking about. "You don't think...?"

"Probably," Michael guessed. "I never saw him express an interest in girls."

Even if Hassleberry doesn't have a preference for females, Michael and Ray both agreed that he wouldn't be the right fit for Jaden. Maybe it was for the best for him to be just his friend.

Later on, as Jaden, Syrus, and Hassleberry went to Kame Game Shop, Michael walked by KaibaCorp. As he looked at the building's structure, he reflected on how this gaming company was run by someone who ruined his girlfriend's old life. He was glad that she's moving on from it and looking towards the future. Just then, he heard a growl from Odd-Eyes Dragon, almost like he was eager about something.

Michael took out the card. "What's that, Odd-Eyes?" he asked. "You're sensing someone in there?"

Odd-Eyes growled out "Yes", leading to his owner to head to the window where he was sensing not someone, but rather something. It was a Duel Monsters card, leading to Michael to read its statistics. His name was Starving Venom Fusion Dragon and he was a Level 8 DARK Dragon Monster with 2800 ATK and 2000 DEF, requiring 2 DARK monsters—except Tokens—as Fusion Materials. On the turn he was Fusion Summoned, he can gain ATK equal to a special summoned monster the opponent controls until the End Phase. He can also target a Level 5 or higher opposing monster and obtain its name and effects, but it can only be done once per turn. If he was destroyed and sent to the Graveyard, his owner can destroy all special summoned monsters the opponent controls.

"Wow!" Michael exclaimed, impressed. "I never saw a card like that before!"

He heard Odd-Eyes enthusiastically roar, as if he may have found a new dragon to include in his owner's deck. Michael wasn't sure if it was for sale or available in stores, but he did hear him call out to him.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Michael turned his head to see where the voice came from and it was none other than Seto Kaiba himself, the same person who was not only Yugi's self-proclaimed rival, but also ruined Leo and Ray's lives. The Obelisk Blue student couldn't believe he was actually meeting him…at first.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kaiba, sir!" Michael exclaimed. "But it felt like that card was calling out to me and-"

"Say no more," Kaiba interrupted. "I want you to come with me."

Come with him? Was there something important going on? Does it involve the Society of Light? Regardless, Michael listened to what Kaiba instructed and followed him.

"A few years ago, I never believed in fate," Kaiba said. "But then certain events occurred that made me realize things happen for a reason and it's not random."

"What are you saying?" Michael asked.

"I'm saying that if you really think that card called out to you, you can have it," Kaiba answered.

Michael was left stupefied but excited at the same time and thanked Kaiba for the offer. He was finally going to get a second dragon in his deck and Odd-Eyes his first dragon friend. "Wow, thanks!" he happily said. "I was actually trying to find another dragon!"

"Don't get too excited," Kaiba informed. "I'm only doing this because Sartorius told me about what happened to your girlfriend. I'm aware that it's my fault she ended up siding with him, but I had to make sure Solid Vision wouldn't cause the holograms to become self-aware. Leo Corporation going bankrupt wasn't my fault. People just happened to become fast fans of Duel Disks."

It was starting to become clear for Michael about why Leo and Ray ended up going broke. It was partially Kaiba's fault, but the general public was to blame for it. The CEO explained that he had to tell him because he feared she wouldn't believe him.

"You do have a good point," Michael said. "Ray has a tendency to be stubborn."

"So think of this card as my way of apologizing to the Akabas," Kaiba said. "After all, if you two are thinking about freeing the other students from the Society of Light, you're going to need a lot more powerful cards."

Michael immediately knew that Kaiba sensed something fishy was going on with Sartorius and the Society of Light after he spoke to the Arcana Force user. He was then informed about how security was keeping an eye on things at Kaiba Land after the CEO gave Sartorius permission to use the theme park.

"By the way, he also mentioned something about missing a card," Kaiba added. "He didn't seem to mind, but do you know anything about that?"

Michael remembered seeing the card a few days earlier when he was looking for Ray. He still had it with him and took it out from his deck. He explained that Arcana Force VI - The Lovers was originally supposed to be used to describe the couple's future together. It was unknowingly dropped and Sartorius used a different card to lure her into the Society of Light and mentally abuse her into becoming "the perfect Duelist".

"Then perhaps you can give that card to her," Kaiba suggested. "Ray might put it to good use."

"You think so?" Michael asked.

"Seems fitting since you're getting a new card," Kaiba explained. "Just don't waste this new power."

After staring at the Arcana card, Michael thanked Kaiba for the assistance. The two walked over to the display case and the latter unlocked it before handing Starving Venom over to the former and reminding him to take care of it. He said that he will and then exited the glass doors, leaving KaibaCorp.

The onion-haired teen ran through the streets to find his girlfriend and saw her near the city center. He then told her what Kaiba said about how the public's vast support of the Duel Disks was what caused Leo Corporation's downfall; she then face-palmed out of realization because she was so stupid to blame someone for her and Leo's poverty. She was reassured of how she had every right to be upset and was reminded on how Action Duels were rejected because Solid Vision with mass could make the monsters sentient and lead to global doomsday, making it Kaiba's fault for his decision, not the bankruptcy. She softly smiled after hearing this, making it a sign that her grudge against the CEO has lightened or maybe even faded away.

Michael then gave Ray a monster card. She asked what it was and he explained that they were given these two powerful cards to help them in their fight against the Society of Light.

"Wait a minute..." Ray said. "This is Sartorius' card!"

"Not anymore," Michael explained. "This was what he initially drew when he apparently read your fortune, but he must have lied in order to get you to join him."

Ray read the given information of Arcana Force VI - The Lovers. It was a Level 4 LIGHT Fairy-Type monster with 1600 ATK and DEF. When it is summoned, she must toss a coin to activate one of its two effects; if it lands on heads, she can treat it as 2 tributes for tribute summoning an Arcana Force monster, but if it's tails, then she can't tribute summon Arcana Force monsters. The effects seemed meaningless to her because she doesn't have that archetype, but Michael interpreted this card as a symbol for what her future was supposed to be: a bright and happy marriage with him.

"You really think so?" Ray asked.

"Of course," Michael answered. "You might have had a rough past, but it looks like fate wants us to be together."

Ray looked at the card again. "This could actually work," she realized. "Hope Dragon Flower's secondary ability allows me to special summon a LIGHT Fairy-Type monster from my deck or hand."

She may have found a new strategy she can use with the dropped card. She also pointed out on the card Michael was holding in his hand and he said Kaiba let him have Starving Venom Fusion Dragon because he felt a connection between them. As a bonus, this also made him Odd-Eyes' first dragon friend.

"Are you sure?" Ray asked.

"Of course," Michael answered. "I can hear him as well. He really likes being in my deck."

If that was the case, then Ray was proud of Michael gaining a new dragon partner. Now their next task was to find useful and powerful cards to battle against the Society of Light, so their best bet was to check out the card and game shops around town. Although they weren't able to assist Jaden and Aster due to their card search, it still didn't change the fact their mission to defeat Sartorius and free the students from his influence was necessary.

Not long after the Domino City field trip, the Genex Tournament was beginning shortly because Chancellor Sheppard was returning to announce it. During his absence, he has been giving various and professional Duelists one Genex Medallion to participate. Shortly after the tournament began, Dr. Crowler had called Michael and Ray into his office to speak with them about something important.

"Thank you for coming," Dr. Crowler said. "I wish for you to handle the professional Duelists who are participating in this tournament."

The two Obelisk Blue students were surprised by this request. "How come?" Michael asked.

"Because they are giving the more inexperienced students a hard time," Dr. Crowler explained. "I feel that it is an unfair disadvantage. I have already asked Damon and Belowski for their help and, as the two best Obelisk Blue students in your class, I wish for you to do the same."

"Thank you, Dr. Crowler," Ray said. "We won't let you down."

The best part is they can try out their new strategies now that they got Starving Venom, The Lovers, and some new cards they bought back at Domino. They were both given the last two Genex Medallions to let people know they're participating: one for Michael and one for Ray. They left the office and went outside to the island to start dueling the professionals. Some of them like Mathmatica and Maitre'D make the students afraid because they wish not to duel them due to how strong they are with their skills, but the couple won't back down from a challenge, even if they are from pro Duelists.

"Well if it isn't the rumored Obelisk students of Duel Academy."

The two students turned around to see a figure standing behind them. They recognized the red suit and the light blue and black striped mask anywhere. It was the legendary and infamous Arkana, who was one of Marik's Rare Hunters hired to defeat Yugi during Battle City and tricked into reuniting with his beloved Catherine. Since that day many years ago, he never forgave his former master for deceiving him like that, but he still has his Dark Magician and is no longer a cheater.

Michael stepped forward. "You're the illusionist Arkana," he said.

"Correct," Arkana said. "The one true Dark Magician user."

Michael smirked at that. "As if," he said. "That title goes to Yugi Muto."

"How would you know?" Arkana asked.

"Do you really think you're the only one who likes magicians?" Michael asked, revealing the magician cards in his deck. "I bet my lovely magicians can beat yours."

"You dare challenge me?" Arkana asked.

"Sure, I could kill some time," Michael answered.

The two activated their Duel Disks to initiate the duel and to see if Arkana's Dark Magician can handle Michael's Magicians and Sorcerers, especially the surprise he has in store for his opponent. While that is going on, Ray wished her boyfriend good luck before heading off to find another pro Duelist to duel against.

"Well what do we have here?"

Ray stopped waking to see the person standing in front of her. It was Rex Raptor and his brown hair with purple-dyed strands on his forehead were a clear giveaway. Ray has heard a lot about him since she was a kid and she knows that he has high dueling morals and plays fair despite his arrogant and tyrannical personality.

"So you're the one with the Hope Dragons," Rex commented.

"Indeed," Ray happily replied. "You want to see them in action?"

"Whaddya think?" Rex asked as he readied his Duel Disk. "I love a good challenge, but don't get too cocky. My dinos have gotten stronger over the past few years."

Naturally, he was one to talk because he was cocky. Ray also prepared her Duel Disk as well as she was about to start Crowler's assignment of dueling the professionals along with Michael. If she was going to be honest, she didn't expect legendary Duelists like Rex and Arkana to show up on the island, but it makes the tournament more fun to take part in.

So far, the couple have been fairing really well as they gained more Genex Medallions by defeating many pro Duelists. They spotted Damon and Belowski, who were both exhausted after dueling for a while, so they picked up the pace and dueled more professionals, including those that were defeated by their classmates and Alexis (since she still showed respect and pride for her Obelisk Blue companions). While they continued to search for any more pro Duelists on the island, they spotted a duel was going on and ran to where Jaden, Aster, and Hassleberry were standing. From what they saw, it was a battle between brothers with Syrus going against Zane, who looked and acted much differently than he normally did.

"Weird..." Michael said. "Was Zane always that cold?"

"Probably," Ray answered. "But Syrus seems...off."

Well, they weren't exactly off. Jaden and Aster overheard their curiosity and filled them in on what was happening. After his defeat at the Pro League, Zane soon became sadistic and disrespectful towards his opponents after his duel with Mad Dog. Syrus doesn't like his brother's new personality, so he decided to duel him to try and reclaim the latter's old persona. He was also "off" because of the shock-amplifying devices they were wearing, which electrocutes the Duelist whenever they lose Life Points; Zane was used to the shocks, but Syrus wasn't. He was using a continuous Trap called Life Force where he can reduce the Battle Damage to 0 at the cost of 400 LP.

Ray was absolutely horrified, her hand immediately reaching up to her neck. Despite her recovery, she could still feel the shocks she received during her time in the Society of Light. Why would Zane do such a thing?

Michael instinctively place his hands on Ray's shoulders to calm her down while reassuring her that it was going to be okay. Jaden and Hassleberry recalled hearing the story of the mental abuse Sartorius gave her while she was regaining her strength.

"Sarge and I heard about what happened," Hassleberry said. "Didn't even known that was goin’ on."

"None of us knew," Michael pointed out. "Sartorius imprisoned her in a room and prevented her from escaping."

"You feelin' alright, Ray?" Jaden asked.

"It still scares me from time to time," Ray answered. "But I think I managed to make a full recovery."

"That's the spirit!" Jaden encouraged, doing his signature pose to get Ray to smile.

Ray always saw Jaden's pose whenever he won a duel against someone up to where she can instantly spot it, even at a far distance. It undoubtedly helped her relax and crack a smile on her face. "Thanks Jaden," she said, knowing how he could still remain so calm and happy during dramatic moments.

The Slifer Red student pointed out that he'll do anything for a friend, a fellow classmate, or a student regardless of rankings. The five Duelists watched from the sidelines as the Truesdales' duel progressed. At one point, Syrus fell onto his knees after getting shocked and draining his LP down to 1600 due to Life Force, with his glasses falling off as well. It was nearly impossible for him to respect his older brother when he's like this, but Zane harshly claimed that there's only enough room for respecting victory, even if it means disrespecting his opponents. Hearing this cruel irony shocked Michael, Ray, Aster, and Hassleberry, but not Jaden.

"Syrus, no!" Jaden exclaimed. "It's not true! Don't listen to him! He's wrong, fight it! And don't forget: Zane isn't himself! You need to remind him about respect! Respect for his cards, respect for his opponent, and respect for himself!"

Syrus stood up and put his glasses back on face before drawing a card, which was revealed to be Power Bond. He wasn't expecting to find it in his deck and looked at Jaden until he realized that his friend went to his dorm room to look for it and shuffled it with the rest of his cards. Michael had to muffle a laugh when that was revealed.

Ray asked what was so funny until she spotted Power Bond and Syrus' comprehended expression. She could've sworn he was afraid of using that card yet the look on Jaden's face said that now was a good time to use it and to help remind Zane about respect.

As Cycroid and the Equip Spell Training Wheels returned to the field, the Vehicroid user used Power Bond to Fusion Summon Pair Cycroid with its ATK doubled to 3200, but was decreased down to 2700 by activating its effect to remove 500 ATK in order to declare a direct attack. Zane activates Power Wall and sent 27 cards to the Graveyard to nullify the attack, resulting in his younger brother to play a face-down. Power Bond's final effect would cause Syrus to take damage equal to Pair Cycroid's original 1600 ATK, but thanks to his face-down Mirror Guard, that damage is redirected to Zane, who activated Fusion Guard to cancel the effect by sending one Fusion monster to the Graveyard.

Once the Cyberdark user drew a card to start his turn, he used Warp Bean to reduce Cyberdarks Horn and Keel from 2800 to 800 ATK by sending Infernal and Exploder Dragons to the Graveyard and removed 200 more ATK on both monsters to attack his opponent directly. Life Force was activated twice, bringing Syrus' LP down to 800, and he used it a third time after Cyberdark Edge attacked directly through halving the Battle Damage, lowering it down to 400. Zane activated his face-down Rebirth Judgement to declare all monsters in both Graveyards as Dragon Type; he then used Instant Fusion to Fusion Summon Cyberdark Dragon by using Horn, Edge, and Keel as Fusion Materials. By using Cyber End Dragon's first effect to equip itself onto the special summoned monster, the ATK ricocheted from 1000 to 5000, and because there were 38 cards in his Graveyard, Cyberdark Dragon's third effect gives it an ATK for every discarded card x 100, making its total ATK 8800.

Zane targeted Pair Cycroid, but Syrus played Emergency Provisions to give himself an extra 1000 LP by discarding Mirror Guard and activated Life Force again to reduce the damage to 0 by costing 400 LP, bringing it down to 1000. He thought he won because that meant there were no cards left for his older brother to draw, but in an unexpected twist, De-Fusion was used and Cyberdarks Horn, Edge, and Keel were on the fields with 800 ATK each. They all dealt a direct attack to deal 2400 damage to him, causing the devices to electrocute him once more as his LP dropped down to 0 and he collapsed onto the ground as a result. Aster was left speechless at the duel's outcome while Michael and Ray were terrified; Hassleberry shouted out to Zane as he walked away while Jaden ran towards Syrus to see if he was okay, only to see his friend pass out. It was clear he needed to be taken to Nurse Fontaine's office right now.

"I don't know what's worse," Michael said as Ray was panicking due to the duel still reminding her of Sartorius' abuse. "The Society of Light or a deranged version of Zane."

Already knowing Ray was in a state of panic, Michael hugged her as much as she could to help regain her senses. Just witnessing the duel led her to become so terrified that she stated she might not be feeling well. This was a sign of her suffering from PTSD, and the shock-amplifying devices sending electricity to the Duelists were the triggers.

Michael started stroking his girlfriend's hair. "I see you hiding all alone," he started singing. "Crying oh so softly. Eyes looking down, feeling low." He started speaking normally. "Come on, RayRay. You love this song."

The song he was singing was the song "99%" by BOWL. He wanted to sing this to remind that despite the struggles she's been suffering, there will always be someone to help her through life's hardships.

"Rethinking all those memories," Michael continued singing, now having to separate from the hug to try to get her to dance with him. "Sadness comes across you and casts a frown. But things are more than they seem."

A small smile started to appear on Ray's face. "When darkness turns to daybreak," Michael sang. "Go out and seek for your sake. The people of this world may share with you your pain. But when a wall surrounds them, discourages and drowns them, they get up. So why don't you do the same?" As he sang that last part, the onion-haired teen booped his girlfriend's nose.

There was no point in resisting as Ray gave in and started dancing to the song. Michael may be dorky sometimes, but she was glad that he was her dork and she didn't want anything about that to change.

Ultimately Michael stopped singing and the two embraced in a sweet hug. "Thanks, you big dork," Ray said.

"Don't mention it, sweet princess," Michael replied.

For the rest of the school year, they continued participating in the Genex Tournament. They eventually lost all their Genex Medallions to non-Society students, but that moment meant they were now officially ready to take on the Society of Light. They joined Chazz—who wanted to make amends for his actions during his time at said organization—and a group of Obelisk Blue students as they freed most of them from the Society's grip while the dark-haired teen now possessed their Medallions. Ray felt this was an interesting way to take out her grudge against Sartorius, who was now under complete control by the Light of Destruction and dueling Jaden with the fate of the world at stake.

Just as Chazz was getting ready to declare himself the winner of the tournament, a disguised Blair Flannigan showed up who wanted to win this tournament and get into Slifer Red. Even though she soon lost and her opponent was officially the Genex Tournament Champion, she was still able to be accepted into Duel Academy as a Slifer Red student. It was also good timing too because Jaden defeated the Light of Destruction, freeing Sartorius from its control and disbanding the Society of Light for good.

[seanmalatesta]

When It’s Not a Wonderful Life

The Perfect Time to Get Some Perspective

I love watching the movie where a guy named George finds himself stuck in a crummy little town working in a shabby little office. Everyone else has moved away to bigger and better things. His hardscrabble life and years of sacrifice and responsibility chip away at his dreams of seeing the world.

Suddenly, a financial crisis leaves him nowhere to turn. Even his prayers seem unanswered. With no hope, he makes a desperate choice.

Once his family and friends discover the crisis, they pitch in and come up with the money. Problem solved.

But cash was the easy fix. George had a bigger problem, and he only came to the conclusion that it’s a wonderful life after he experienced the loss of something he loved. George Bailey’s bigger problem needed a special gift, which came wrapped in an unusual package.

What was the gift? In a word: perspective.

The holidays give that same gift for us. It even has our name on it. But it’s easy to miss amidst the flurry of other gifts and activities. Unless we look for it, our greatest gift stays unopened.

Broadening our perspective

The Texas Driver’s Handbook has a diagram that illustrates how when we sit in a parked car, we have a full 180-degree field of vision. When our car accelerates to 20 mph, our field of vision reduces to 66%. At 40 mph, our visual field shrinks to 20%. At 60 mph, our field of vision becomes barely wider than the space between our headlights.

The faster we go, the less perspective we have.

The same holds true in our journey through life. As we hurdle through life in the fast lane, perspective can easily get shoved in the trunk—or left behind. If we never sit still, we never see the big picture—only the immediate slice right in front of us.

That’s how the holidays offer us a gift. They toss a much-needed wrench in the wheels of our productivity. Clients and vendors close. Nobody answers our emails. Even shopping malls lock up on Christmas and New Years Day. Holidays force us to slow our pace.

They offer us the space we need to open our special gift.

Unwrap the gift of perspective

We unwrap the gift of perspective through reflection—which only time affords us. Looking at family photo albums or reading old journal entries, we see how many crises we’ve forgotten that seemed so overwhelming at the time.

Such reflection gives us a reason to press on, because it gives us the gift of perspective. Somehow we made it through the past, so we’ll make it through today.

Even reflecting on loss offers remarkable perspective. Getting really sick reminds us of the blessing of health. We may exercise, eat well, and get enough rest, but we shake the unwashed hand of one infected individual—and whammo! One little virus takes our entire body down for days. Sickness can make us grateful for health we had all along.

But some losses in life we can’t “bounce back” from—like a losing a child or a marriage or suffering a serious health issue. After healthy reflection, nothing we learn from these significant losses can replace what we’ve lost.

Nevertheless, loss in life offers us an invaluable perspective because it forces us to go somewhere we would never otherwise choose to go. There we have the opportunity to learn what we never would have chosen to learn.

Seeing the potential

I’ve opened some of these unwanted gifts in life. Like after each of my parents divorced and remarried multiple times; or after my alcoholic mother died tragically; or after losing a great position in my career—twice. And these are just a few I’m comfortable writing about.

I learned that loss gives us a crash course in growth if we choose to glean perspective. These deep griefs offer us gifts of a lifetime if we choose never to waste a significant loss. As Lincoln said at Gettysburg, “These shall not have died in vain.”

Five years ago I attended the Platform Conference in Dallas. Driving home from the conference, it struck me, I could create a membership site that gives virtual tours of the Holy Land for those who cannot go. But honestly? I thought, Yeah, right.

Two years later, I lost my job without warning. It caught me completely flatfooted. But I also saw the potential that fear had kept hidden. Fear of leaving an executive position in a place I enjoyed serving kept me from seeing my potential as an entrepreneur.

I realized how all the years behind me had prepared me for the path before me. Upon reflection, loss gave me a perspective—even an opportunity—I never would have had otherwise.

(And Michael Hyatt said it was after he broke his ankle and while he was stuck in bed that he started his blog—which laid the groundwork for his current business.)

Perspective stripped away the blinders of my limiting beliefs.

The gift that keeps on giving

I like that what was true for George Bailey was always true. The only thing that changed was his perspective. Of course, life is more complicated than a two-hour classic Christmas film. But the premise remains the same.

Perspective is the gift that keeps on giving, as long as we choose to unwrap it. The good news is we don’t have to suffer great loss to gain great perspective. But we do need to slow down long enough to give the road our full 180-degree field of vision.

The holidays have a gift for us: time to slow down and gain perspective.

Can you imagine just leaving one of your gifts under the tree?

from Michael Hyatt http://bit.ly/2Lz4D1v via IFTTT

[jrsechelon]

Undefeated’s Clash - Week 5 Preview

As the wind howls and echoes across the blistering skies the clouds begin to roll in. The forecast is bitter but that is how these teams like it. It's great for football weather. Foxborough, Massachusettes will host the game of unbeaten teams this Sunday. The 3-0-1 Buds Bums will travel from the east side of Chicago to Massachusettes to face off against the 4-0 HellbentKronik. Who would have thought? - Well luckily for Chicago they have a surprising team to fall back on after the heartbreaking loss they witnessed with their beloved Cubbies. So as baseball season ends for one city, Chicago their attention will turn to football. Fans from Massachusettes will continue rooting for their Red Sox but also brashly deem HellbentKronik the all-around EFL Super Bowl favorite. There is, in fact, a lot of football left as we enter week 5 but this match-up takes the cake.

Earlier today we were fortunate enough to have a moment to speak with members of HellbentKronik after an early morning practice. In a surprising turn of events, we witnessed rookie quarterback Josh Rosen taking first-team snaps. So, of course, we were all wondering what is going on with Fitz-magic? Coach Henderson address us with some resounding words of confidence in his decision to hand over the keys to Rosen.

"He has developed, doubled down and reaffirmed his reputation as the quarterback with the big arm, bigger opinions, and a smart mouth through years of being open and honest about how he felt on a variety of topics on and off the field. His leadership ability is Aaron Rodgers-esque. It was time to give him the ball and let him rip. We've got a great thing going here and although Fitzpatrick had given us plenty of positivity these last few weeks, Rosen is our guy for the future and we believe the future is now."

So how exactly is Rosen going to fair against Buds Bums tough defense? Well, the 21-year-old Rosen is full of confidence as he prepares to play against Chicago on Sunday. That's just his way, he said after the team practiced Wednesday.

"I'm a very confident person," Rosen said. "Even if I have no reason to, I'll find a way to fool myself into going out there with full confidence that we're going to win every single game we play. Every time I step on the field, I expect to throw a touchdown or hand off a touchdown or lead the team to the end zone in some way. In my head, if I don't, it's a surprise and something's wrong and we've got to fix it so that we do next time."

"We're going to continue to give Josh what he can handle," Henderson said. "I think, again, he gives us the opportunity to be able to do a lot of things on the offensive side of the ball. I think you guys saw that a little bit through our practices so far this week — just with the bootlegs, getting outside of the pocket, all those things, his athleticism, to be able to avoid the rush a little bit and buy time to get the ball down the field."

And believe me when I say that Rosen is going to have to avoid the rush because the word has gotten back to Buds Bums that Josh Rosen will be starting at the helm Sunday and the defensive backs are licking their chops. Then again, a good chunk of what the Bums' have done on defense has been about Mack. He notched a strip-sack for the fourth consecutive game on Sunday, and he was able to grab Brees' arm to force a floating pass that fell into the waiting arms of Danny Trevathan for an interception basically sealing any chance for Evolution to mount a comeback. What is most surprising for Buds Bums is they have always attempted to pride themselves on offensive aggression, but after another dismal 2017 season they reevaluated what they feel will help bring them to the promise land. That being defense. Chris Long looked confident after the win over Evolution expressing in the locker room this isn't the same old Buds Bums but a new look, revamped, and a driven group ready for a date in New England next week. With eight interceptions, equaling their season totals from 2015, 2016 and 2017.

Bums' Defense Elite

Creating more turnovers was a major emphasis for this group during OTAs, minicamps, training camp, and a lot of the early success comes from staying on assignments and knowing when and how to be aggressive. While four games don’t make a season, what the Bums’ defense has done to begin 2018 has been nothing short of a franchise-altering effort. This is, right now, the best defense in the EFL. And there’s no reason to doubt it’ll lose that title any time soon. Not only is their defense playing lights out their quarterback situation is safely one of the most positive in the EFL. They have two young studs each vying for a place to call themselves 'the guy' and while Wentz is back from injury and doing remarkable things, Mitchell Trubinsky has shown he is equally capable of pushing toward that upper echelon of quarterback play.

So who gets the win? Early projections show Buds Bums defeating HellbentKronik by one point. Kace Joe gave us his breakdown of the match.

"Looking at these rosters down the edge goes to HellbentKronik in my book. You've got a team stacked at wide receiver. AJ Green, Hopkins, Michael Thomas, and tight end Zach Ertz. That my friend is scary. On the other hand, the running game falls to Buds Bums with Todd Gurley and Jay Ajayi - two monsters of the midway establishing themselves as possibly the best one-two punch in the game today! The quarterback would go to Buds Bums but slim. Although Wentz is basically a seasoned veteran at this point he still scares me with that injury and I question whether he is actually 100% - but with HellbentKronik rolling with the rookie Rosen this match-up favors Buds Bums. I got to note though I love the gamble here with HellbentKronik. Josh Rosen is a stud and was magical in his college days at UCLA if he can match that kind of play he will be shocking a lot of people this Sunday. Will Lutz is one of the better kickers in football right now and will have the privilege to most likely be kicking some meaningful kicks when it matters most. Defensively I got to roll with Buds Bums. They are easily the best defense right now after four weeks. I believe even with the firepower at receiver that HellbentKronik has Buds Bums is going to find a way to shut them out and leave Foxborough with a huge win."

A win for Buds Bums then? 4-0-1 if Kace Joe's prediction holds true. What can that mean for the rest of the Great Lakes division? Well a pivot match-up between VanillaGorillas and LilShupeScoresBIGPoints will tell us a lot as to whether the division is tightening up or if LilShupe seems to be the only threat to Buds Bums. Last week both these teams garnered a win which gave VanillaGorillas their first win of the season, while LilShupeScoresBIGPoints pushed to two-consecutive wins. Late last Monday word had come out that LilShupeScoresBIGPoints feared Leonard Fournette was going to be missing some time after being pulled out of the game last week in the 2nd quarter. The fear and realization that their stout second-year back was going to miss some time have made them tightened their hold on their running game. It was reported that a few teams came calling for T.J. Yeldon but quickly they were shot down. LilShupeScoresBIGPoint even though dealing with adversity has mustered through the weather thus far. At 3-1 they're quietly doing what needs to be done even with Andrew Luck having a sub-par season for now. This being their third division game already they are going to want to execute a perfect game with a chance of having Buds Bums get knocked down a peg or two up in New England. As for VanillaGorilla - it was a route last week against Yuba City Sultans who rolled with Josh Allen and almost certainly regretted it from the opening gate. Matt Breida has given VanillaGorillas a few heart attacks almost every weekend looking like he's going to be out for an extended amount of time. This is one guy they can't afford to lose as their running game isn't gathering the yards they were hoping at the beginning of the year. Even though they sit at 1-2-1 they have shown toughness when needed. Tying Buds Bums and routing Yuba City Sultans, VanillaGorilla is simply one win away from getting back into the thick of this division.

So for PURPLEHAZE a match-up against the lowly Canadian Cripplers is possibly just what the doctor ordered. Both teams 1-3 somethings got to give right? Mark Engram will be back behind Cam Newton this weekend and with all the lows for The Canadian Cripplers running game thus far it will be a breath of fresh air for them. Not only that but there was news out of Canada that Le'Veon Bell is preparing to return near week 7. If The Canadian Cripplers can muster up some courage and drive to get wins the next few weeks they could find themselves back in a spot that right now looks obsolete. The next three games for The Canadian Cripplers are favorable. They are all against teams with losing records and if Bell is set to return when he says he is it'll help this team in store for their week 8 match against Buds Bums. PURPLEHAZE this week, next week The Busy Killers, and then a divisional match against the Sultans.

SuperCam Where You At?

Can Cam put it together and try to rebound from a measly season. Coach Shoop had stated that last weeks lost possibly was the worst loss in their franchise, but looking back we found a loss to HellbentKronik back in 2014 which was worse, this loss being their second worse loss in franchise history though - so close Coach Shoop but no cigar! While it seems The Canadian Cripplers have no answers, PURPLEHAZE almost defeated HellbentKonik, narrowly losing by one point. We've seen an increasing number of games with one point deficits early on and something tells me it is going to continue. The league is getting ever increasingly more difficult and while there aren't many undefeated teams there are teams who usually would be undefeated at this point who isn't. This goes to show you how tougher the Elite Fantasy League is getting. Now while The Canadian Cripplers look to have an easy road the next three games, PURPLEHAZE can't say the same thing so this coming again on Sunday is almost a must win for PURPLEHAZE. After traveling to Thunderbay, Ontario, Canada PURPLEHAZE will be facing their three divisional opponents back-to-back-to-back! Already losing to LilShupeScoresBIGPoints in week 3 PURPLEHAZE has got to figure out what is going on in Minnesota. Kirk Cousins is a great quarterback who has all the tangibles to lead this team to success but for whatever reason, they haven't been able to find the right scheme. It's got to start week 5 against The Canadian Cripplers because 1-4 is going to be hard to climb back from.

MegaWatt Warriors can attest to how difficult it is to begin to ascend from the bottom to the top, or at least out of the basement. Sitting at 0-4 after reaching the Super Bowl last year they have seen themselves unable to compete against the rest of the league. Allowing the most amount of points after four weeks MegaWatt Warriors has a date against the 1-3 Hyrule Empire. Both teams had high hopes in the offseason and during OTAs. But what looked to be two franchises in the midst of their best years and on the rise have sought to be a dismal year. Hyrule Empire has yet to see any real accomplishments and success, while MegaWatt Warriors a former Super Bowl Champion and a year from being in the big dance has fallen off the cliff. Tom Brady is playing uninspired football and has old man winter comes knocking it is hard to start wondering when will TB12 decide to hang it up. We know that he wants to play well into 45 but with a 0-4 record and a core group around you who has little to no talent baring Gronk, it's imaginable that Tom Brady may hang it up after this year. Hyrule Empire, on the other hand, had put their trust into Joe Flacco and it has yet to pay off. Losing 3 out of the last 4 Hyrule Empire and MegaWatt Warriors being winless have given us, the fans, our first 'Toliet Bowl' of the season. Projections have them tying so your guess is as good as mine here.

A team who usually is in the 'Toliet Bowl' is finally not having to worry about that as they travel into Cincinnati this weekend. Black Hole Son crushed MegaWatt Warriors last week after hearing from Kace Joe that the Warriors would get a win and Black Hole Sons' season would begin to unravel. Well, talk is cheap and they didn't allow the whispers and analysts stop them from putting up points in a remarkable fashion. Now going against 2-2 Straight Edge Society they will be facing off against the only team to ever win back-to-back Super Bowls. Jared Goff is playing lights-out, on pace toward an MVP season. #BeastMode and Zeke are running the ball down defensive coordinators throats. They are keeping these defensive line coaches and d-coordinators up at night the way they're carrying the rock. Ridley has exploded onto the scene and Edelman is set to return from suspension. Black Hole Son although is lacking on the defensive side of things is bringing the heat all day through the offensive side and certainly isn't looking to stop. It'll be a test for them this Sunday. Straight Edge Society has a nack at upsetting and crushing dreams.

SES & BHS Will Collide

They're a team which knows their strengths and weaknesses, focuses on what needs to be done and nine times out of ten usually goes out and executes the task at hand. Sitting in second in the Central after having a chance to truly pull away with the division Straight Edge Society knows how important this game is. Whether they roll with Andy Dalton or Matt Ryan, Black Hole Son should have their hands full. Straight Edge Society has been going committee at quarterback. It is a risk that has played dividends but also has seen them drop the chips when it has mattered most. A true gamble really and although reports have shown the players are confident in either guy I can only imagine that electing one quarterback to play all year would be the wiser more. But we know Straight Edge Society is a team that isn't old fashion, they will do what they've got to in order to get the win and most importantly back to the Super Bowl. Losing Tyler Eifert last week for the rest of the season is a setback but Jordan Reed is solely capable of filling the void at tight end which Eifert leaves. An important piece for Straight Edge Society is Antonio Brown. Brown hasn't had a breakout game yet and although he is still one of the elite receivers in the game things haven't been very copasetic and again I go back to the fluctuation at quarterback. If Straight Edge Society is able to get Brown going it will make a long day for Black Hole Son.

Another fun match-up week 5 has in store for us is Thunderbuddy4Life 2-2 hosting BroncosTillDeath 3-1. After falling to Straight Edge Society in week 1 BroncosTillDeath has not looked back. Running away with a three-game winning streak Deshaun Watson is righting this ship. Since his dismal performance week 1, he has garnered praise around the league creating plays downfield all the while dealing with a significant lackluster offensive line. Watson is taking a licking, though he keeps on ticking. Or something like that for those who remember the old Timex commercials. BroncosTillDeaths' quarterback, who had his rookie season prematurely ended by a torn ACL, has endured 17 sacks in four games this season. That puts him on pace to take 68 sacks this season, 14 more than this team allowed in 2017. “He’s a very tough guy,” Coach McGee said. “You know, some of it can be concerning, but it’s some of the design of the plays. That’s what we do. He’s got good physical strength. There are certain things that we do not want him to take a hit on. There are other things that we do that he loves to do, and we like to call them, and that’s part of the way he plays. I think he’s really smart about it for the most part when you look at how he deals with those plays.

Watson's Woes

He gets his pads down or he ducks out of bounds. He’s a very, very smart runner. So that’s something we try to build around.” Smart or not, Watson has taken 43 hits this season, putting him on pace for 172 hits this season. With them having to face off against a formidable defense week 5 the thought is these hits and sacks are only going to continue. It is alarming to some who worry that eventually, Watson will take a hit he won't be able to come back from. Last week we saw Thunderbuddy4Life lose key playmaker Earl Thomas but that hasn't swayed the belief around the building that they'll be okay. In fact, there has been some excitement chattering around the building. A loss hurts, a loss to key division rival Rainelo Hawks hurts even worse - but it hasn't waivered the defending Super Bowl champions. With free safety Earl Thomas out for the season, they are turning to 2017 fourth-round pick Tedric Thompson to take over the back end of their defense. Thompson has appeared in 13 career games for Thunderbuddy4Life over the course of last year but has yet to start a regular season game for the team. He played just eight defensive snaps as a rookie but has been a more regular part of the team’s defense this year in their dime packages. He has played on 58 out of 259 snaps on defense this season, including taking over for Thomas in the fourth quarter of last week’s game in Seattle. “We’re excited about his play and he’s just growing,” head coach Roberts said. “He’s really mature about stuff, he’s really worked hard to understand the scheme and the principles of what we want and he plays really strict and disciplined football. You put that all together, it makes for a chance to be a very productive player.” Thompson took almost all of the team’s reps at free safety this offseason and through training camp as Thomas held out in hopes of leveraging a new contract from the team. He started all four preseason games at the position for Thunderbuddy before Thomas reported for the start of the regular season. There is a lot of belief that Thompson will be able to stop Amari Cooper on deep ball throws and help shut down Watson's ability to get after that long bomb. Thunderbuddy4Life is looking to make Watson one dimensional closing off those deep threats and bringing pressure on a very weak offensive line. It might spell disaster for BroncosTillDeath. Thunderbuddy4Life is dealing with more than just the loss of Earl Thomas though, as half of their team has been listed on the injury report. Mind games or legit? I guess come game day we'll know just who is suiting up and who will be sitting out for the defending champs. I look forward to this game as I'm looking at it as possibly the most exciting match-up of week 5!

As some teams are dealing with injuries, Yuba City Sultans is thanking the football gods that their quarterback is back from injury. After what probably seemed to be the longest day in their franchise the era of Josh Allen is over. Josh Allen didn't have room to breathe last Sunday. VanillaGroillas’ defense dialed up pressure all day. The result? Josh Allen was hurried, knocked down, or sacked on 24 of his 29 dropbacks on Sunday. After losing three top players from the offensive line this offseason, we knew there would be a regression for these Sultans. Though, I’m not sure how many thought it would be this bad. Through Week 4 of the regular season, the Sultans’ offensive line ranks dead last in the league in pass protection according to Football Outsiders, worse than even BroncosTillDeaths'. They’ve given up five more sacks than the next worst team. Conversely, Black Hole Son - holders of the top place in said rankings have given up five sacks total to this point in the season. Having the worst offensive line in the league is not what you want when you’re starting a rookie quarterback who needs time to develop.

Aloha! From Mariota

So insert the Aloha spirit, insert Marcus Mariota. Marcus Mariota offered that “the Aloha spirit” helps him stay calm in such situations of adversity. That is, a perspective rooted in humility and “gratefulness” from his native Hawaii. But right now the unbridled excitement is the appropriate reaction when considering what this quarterback and team can do with Mariota finally off the sideline and back from that nagging elbow. This quarterback is just getting started in Matt LaFleur’s offense and is just getting his offensive line back and his stable of pass catchers are looking to breakout it's almost looking like all signs are pointing toward a long day for Evolution. The question of whether the Sultans' can capture this city the way they once did is never far from the discussion. With a returning Mariota an elite core of receivers and a big divisional game on deck, a win on Sunday could go a long way at rallying Yuba City Sultans toward a turn around season. Coach Haight spoke out Thursday morning asking the fans to come to attend the game and show support for this team who only a few short seasons ago was a game away from reaching the Super Bowl. As long as Marcus Mariota stays healthy there is no doubt in my mind that the Sultans' have an excellent chance to turn their season around.

Finally, The Busy Killers who got their first win of the year last week is attempting to do the same thing Yuba City Sultans is, turn their season around. Getting two wins in a row won't be simple though. Rainelo Hawks is flying high at 3-1 atop the Pacific division winning with a very powerfully scary ground attack and electric defensive play. While The Busy Killers has every ability to pull this win off it's going to be a challenge. Patrick Mahomes will be challenged but you've got to believe Rainelo Hawks defense will be equally challenged. The Hawks have only recorded eight sacks this season, with defensive tackles Aaron Donald and Ndamukong Suh as the team’s co-leaders with two sacks apiece. But sacks don’t tell the whole story. Pressuring the opposing quarterback into getting rid of the ball quickly is an important part of having a good defense even if you don’t take down the quarterback. For the Hawks in particular, who have spent most of the season playing from ahead, they’re able to tee off on a quarterback who’s trying to bring the team back from behind. Going into Sunday’s game against the Rainelo Hawks is likely the most important test Patrick Mahomes will face so far this season. Speaking about their upcoming opponent, you could see that the head coach and his quarterback were on the same page days before the game is to begin. “We look forward to playing Seattle,” Chico said. “We know they are a good football team. They have done a heck of a job up there with the whole organization and with the team in particular. We have played some good defenses here and there and Rainelo Hawks is a good defense and arguably the best in the EFL.” Chico continued. “That is why you do this. You love that challenge of playing against good teams. We're ready for the challenge." Patrick Mahomes weighed in as well after practice on Thursday

Mahomes Speaking

“Hawks defense has a great scheme, they do a lot of things really well. They do a lot of the same stuff, but they do it to a very high pristine type of thing. They have a ton of talent over there. We have to utilize our offense and our weapons and try to do what we can to attack them.” Mahomes was then asked about making offensive adjustments as The Busy Killers were forced to do while playing Straight Edge Society on Monday night. “I am still learning, but trying to make adjustments on the fly is something I didn’t have to do as much in college, and here you have to make them because defenses throw unscouted looks out there. Kind of like the first half of this last game, they threw us a lot of different blitzes and things we hadn’t seen before from that defense so far this year. For us, we just have to get on the same page and figure out those looks and make adjustments to make our plays work.” But Mahomes said that finding success against Straight Edge Society was a confidence-builder for him. “Being able to go up against stuff you are not necessarily sure of because it’s a blitz you haven’t seen before and you’re able to have success against it, that is how football works. You are going to see exotic stuff. You are going to have adverse situations in games and have to find ways to come out with wins in them. I believe this is what I and my teammates will take on come Sunday." Although this match-up is a 1-3 team against a 3-1 team it can easily have the makings of a tougher game then we see on paper. Rainelo Hawks will want to continue their trend of winning and staying atop the Pacific while The Busy Killers will want to try and do what they've got to in order to get one step closer to .500.

Week 5 is right around the corner, actually only hours away as we open up tonight! I hope you all are ready because I know I am!

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[brianplayssometimes]

'92 to Bendis: Why I Love X-Men

Genesis of X

The year was 1992. That summer had seen my 8th birthday. It also saw my 4th open heart surgery. Born with a severe heart defect I endured hospital visit after hospital visit. Throughout those 8 years I spent many days and nights in the hospital. Truth be told most of it I don’t remember. Whether because of being so young or because my mind blocks it out I do not know. What I do know is that in October of that year X-Men: The Animated Series debuted. Until now I thought I merely loved the show because of it being a great cartoon with fantastic characters. However, as I typed this I realize a deeper reason connected me to the show.

As someone with a severe heart defect you become limited in what you are allowed to do. I couldn’t play sports. I couldn’t be outside in the heat or the cold. I couldn’t do many physical activities. Basically all of the things that a normal 8 year old boy wants to do I couldn’t do. I grew to appreciate things in doors such as; movies, TV shows, video games, and playing with action figures. While I had friends growing up my limitations inevitably led to feelings of alienation. In hindsight, I never really felt normal, and in October of ’92 I saw for the first time a team of people who knew what that was like. It’s no wonder I became a bigger fan of X-Men than any other cartoon. It appealed to me in a deeper, subconscious way that I didn’t understand until now.

I grew to love this show more than any other by watching the team struggle with prejudice, rejection, fear, and being outcasts. As they battled these social and personal issues I received inspiration from their ideologies and hope from their personal redemption arcs. This love for the show led me to convince my mom to buy me the comics. I remember her taking me every week to the comic book store. She would buy me the X-Men and Uncanny X-Men issues every month. My collection grew and grew to the point that I had filing cabinets and storage bins full of comic books. Some Batman, Spider-man, Nightwing, and others were amongst my collection, yet X-Men outranked them all.

I can recall stories such as the Phalanx Covenant, X-Cutioner’s Song, Onslaught, and Age of Apocalypse. Having grown up when I did these are the “classics” when I think of X-Men stories. I read every issue I could, and some multiple times. I still have storage containers full of comics from this phase in my life.  Then somewhere after the Trial of Gambit the stories seemed to shift and I began to mature. I wasn’t as attached anymore and interest waned.  The stories didn’t seem as well crafted, and characters like Marrow and Maggot couldn’t keep my attention. Once the X-Men film came out I attempted to get back into the comics, but ended up not enjoying them anymore. I had officially moved on from my first love.

Marvel Unlimited

Years later the Marvel Cinematic Universe was born. These films sparked a wildfire of interest in comics across the globe. They brought former readers back while simultaneously creating new ones. Around this time Marvel Unlimited had launched as well. Not nearly the behemoth it is now, it still had a solid 2,500 comics in 2007 at launch. Marvel created a way for the newer generation of readers to attach to them instead of the competition, and at the time of this writing they now have over 17,000 comics available.  Between the films and this new service I subscribed to Unlimited and tried reading Avengers, Magneto, X-Factor, and Iron Man comics. I enjoyed the app, but my phone couldn’t handle it well and the stories weren’t gripping me. Ultimately I cancelled it.

The year was 2016. By the time summer began my daughter had finished 1st grade, my son turned 2 years old, and my wife and I celebrated 9 years together. My life had changed, and I was much different than that 8 year old kid who fell in love with X-Men. Adulthood in full swing I became a responsible husband and father. My life focused on providing and taking care of them. Their safety, future, and happiness became all that mattered to me. Never could anyone have known that during this phase of my life Brian Michael Bendis was about to make me fall in love with X-Men all over again.

During July of 2016 Marvel Unlimited ran a $1 for a month promotion. After realizing how many comics they added I decided to try it again. The updated app combined with my upgraded phone made reading comics a breeze. I could read a couple of pages here and there throughout the day, and couldn’t praise the service enough. Winter Soldier, Black Widow, and Captain Marvel were some of the comics I started reading. Then it hit me. In ’92 I fell in love with X-Men and the time had come for me to read Bendis’ All-New X-Men.

I began reading All-New X-Men and couldn’t stop. I flew through the entire 41 issue series plus tie in issues during the course of 6 days. Everything in me couldn’t get me to quit reading them. The series quickly became one of my favorite ever, and will likely stay that way. Once I finished this I went on to read all 35 issues of Bendis’ Uncanny X-Men run, and found myself as infatuated with it as All-New. Bendis provided something scintillating to the franchise that I personally hadn’t seen since the ‘92 X-Men: TAS. He gave a depth to each character during his run, and made everyone feel different from each other. There were no caricatures. Everyone came off unique, and the decisions they made fit within their personalities.  Out of all the positive things I could say about his run my favorite things are the original five, Cyclops’ revolution, and the team ups.

The Original Five

In a society inundated with fictional heroes how could Bendis make the original five X-Men appealing? I mean they were created in 1963. A lot had changed over that time frame. Look at a Batman comic from the ‘60s vs now and you could easily see the tonal differences. The bright, colorful palettes of that time easily stand out against the dark, gritty concepts of our day. Yet Bendis found a way to keep these characters true to the Stan Lee versions and appeal to the modern generation of readers. It’s a testament to his skills as a writer. He crafted an overarching storyline about the original five X-men being brought from the past into the present. The idea being that current day Beast wanted to stop the Revolution of Cyclops.

His vision saw Beast becoming so obsessed with stopping modern day Cyclops that he brought the original five X-Men from the past to the present. This concept created a wonderful dynamic whenever the original five saw what type of people they grew up to be. From Beast’s reaction to the blue fur to Jean freaking out about her “destiny” of marrying Scott, becoming the Phoenix, and eventually dying. Watching these X-Men see what their lives become brought uniqueness to the comics. Over the course of the 41 issues of All-New X-Men they wrestled with their place in the current time stream and struggled with what fate really meant. Seeing them wrestle with this, with each other, and with the Revolution of Cyclops, in particular, provided a dynamic unlike any other that I have read.

Cyclops’ Revolution

Bendis made me do the unthinkable, fall in love with Cyclops. The perfect storm occurred. I had matured into the responsible family man when I read the revolution of Cyclops. His character took it upon himself to be the champion of all homo sapien superior. His team of Magik and Magneto were virtually unstoppable. He stood up to S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers never for a moment backing down. He placed the mutant races survival as priority number 1, and didn’t flinch at the opposition. His own son and daughter might not have been the focal point, but Cyclops as a father was evident with how he fought for his kind.

I had been unfamiliar with this aspect of Cyclops. Nothing in the runs I read prior to this had ever painted this picture of him so strongly. His new mindset (which in reflection started before Bendis’ run) felt like a mixture of ideologies; Magneto’s and Xavier’s. Try for peace, but do what it takes to guarantee the survival of his “children”. As a husband and parent of two I can relate to this. I would do whatever it takes to ensure the protection of my family. Perhaps this relatability is why I grew to rank Cyclops near the top in terms of favorite comic characters. Bendis provided an angle and depth to him I hadn’t previously known.

The Team Ups

Throughout his run on both Uncanny and All-New Bendis infused the stories with team ups that made sense and felt unique. Yes, we have seen the X-Men and Shi’ar interact before, but Bendis made it compelling while appealing to nostalgia. The X-Men have long been known for their space exploration, but having them cross paths and work with The Guardians of the Galaxy felt natural. The move should have been done years ago, and on the surface looked like an opportunity to promote the MCU films. However, when reading the story, it clearly shows that the team up was seamless and fit the overall storyline perfectly.

The Trial of Jean Grey was a fantastic idea. Crafting a story that united the Guardians and Starjammers to battle the Shi’ar felt compelling and natural. The interplay between the groups created some hilarious moments as well as heartwarming scenes. The slow build between Star-Lord and Kitty could change the minds of even the staunchest Colossus/Kitty shippers. It didn’t feel like a normal comic book relationship where two people randomly hook up. Substance was provided to it by building it up with playful, flirty banter. I will always remember that part of his run.

Rebirth of X

I wish I could remember every detail of my feelings when first reading the Bendis run, but unfortunately I can’t. What I do remember is that I felt the rebirth of a love that had grown cold. From getting older to the arrival of the Marvel Cinematic Universe my original love of X-Men had dwindled. Thanks to a promotion for Marvel Unlimited & and incredible run from Bendis that love sprang forth again.

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