#-class in the series bc i heard its more programming

[1o1percentmilk]

i don't even want to take half my classes that im registered for autumn quarter

[ahundredtimesover]

He’s Leaving (FNTO 2)

They weren’t kidding when they said everything you touch turns into a mess.

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: strangers to friends to lovers, popstar/idol!jk, fluff, angst, future smut; this is a dialogue-heavy series so read if you’re into that! JK’s angry in this one 

Warnings: foul language, these characters talk alot bc I talk alot, eventual smut

Word count: ~12,000

Series summary: You meet pop star/idol Jeon Jungkook at the cafe, you get close, and as Hyejin says, you’re like friends with benefits without the sex. But you’re bad at feelings and so is he.

series masterlist

A/N: This takes place 7 months after that night Y/N’s ex shows up! Italicized parts refer to past events. And since I’d mentioned this was initially for Harry, I remember now that Home by 1D was my mood for this, so listen to it as soundtrack (getting emotional while listening to it & thinking about how this ends)!   

#

He’s leaving. 

You stare blankly at the wall dividing your living room and bedroom and say the words once more, in your head and then out of your mouth.  

He’s leaving. 

You say it over and over again, alternating between question and statement. 

Jungkook’s leaving. 

“Yes, Y/N, that’s what I just said.” Jimin mutters over the phone.

“But why? I mean, since when does he leave ahead of all of you guys?”

“He decided to schedule a meeting with one of the producers he’s working with for his mixtape. It isn’t with your cousin, though, otherwise Jieun would’ve told you,” Jimin responds.

It’s the first week of August and the first show of the next leg of their world tour isn’t until a week from now, but Jungkook’s already headed to L.A. and he didn't even tell you about it. In fact, he hasn't said a word to you in the last five days, which is oddly surprising. 

“He hasn't spoken to you?” Jimin asks, picking up on your thoughts. Perhaps your silence gave away the frustration you were feeling. 

“Nope,” you reply, the sadness in your voice unmistakable. 

“I hope you don't think I’m one of those people who’s gotten so attached to him that being ignored for five days feels like the end of the world… because it really isn’t. I’m just worried and confused,” you continue. 

You aren’t blind. Jungkook’s surrounded by women, some vying for his attention, some wanting it back. They’d act out either way, displeasing him although he’d never say it out loud, but you were pretty sure you weren’t one of them. Right?

“Hey, of course not! As both of your friends, even I’m surprised. You two are like, inseparable, long-distance buddies,” he claims. “But to tell you the truth, I have no idea what’s going on either. Are you sure you didn't fight for real this time?” 

No real fights, you say. Your arguments about who has better smelling detergent or your choice of movie to watch or him stealing your oversized sweatshirts were as far as you two went. You often had serious talks, but when you didn't see eye to eye, you always just agreed to disagree, and then it was back to petty fights and annoying each other like little kids again. 

“I’ve to head out now, Y/N. I’m sorry I couldn't help, but I hope you two patch things up! Just call if you need anything,” Jimin says after a few more back and forth of questions and answers about how the past week or so has been, just to pick up on any clues as to why things just suddenly came to a halt. You put your phone away and sit on the couch.

A few months ago, it probably wouldn't have mattered if he didn't text or call for a day or a week. You couldn't even truly come to terms with the fact that you’ve become good friends with Jeon Jungkook, the ‘golden maknae’ and self-proclaimed international playboy of the biggest band in the world who has the unenviable position of being half the female population’s (and a good fraction of the male’s as well) dream everything. 

It amazed you how this oversized-clothes wearing boy with a bunny smile and doe eyes and who liked to talk to insects and impersonate chickens and act out Ironman fight scenes could arouse the sexual musings of individuals of all genders and ages. But then again, he does have that mellifluous voice and has this tendency to hump the air and dance wildly enough to reveal his abs, so you do understand the collective reaction.

For a high profile celebrity like him, it seems natural to be drawn to people from the same industry, for romance purposes or otherwise. Much of it has to do with the fact that they get the lifestyle, as his other band mates have shared, some of whom having dated fellow pop stars and models. But you aren’t from the same circle, or clique, or planet. While you’re your university’s star athlete, volleyball isn’t religion here, so there isn’t any “lifestyle change” of some sort. 

Before Jungkook, your only window to celebrity life was through Jieun, your LA-based music producer of a cousin. Yet, you’ve always been wary of the spotlight, and those who loved it too much, which is why it baffled you for quite a while why you were so fond of Jungkook. He loved the spotlight enough to make his job look so easy, but he felt real  — so real you almost thought he wasn't. 

#

The midway mark of September has rolled in. Once the celebrations of your championship win over the summer were over, it was back to focusing on work and school. You’ve started your probationary period at a research institute, and you’re riding out your fifth year of university after your senior year knee injury left you out of school for a month and out of the graduation rites. This meant a chance to actually win the championship, which you did, and to appease your ever growing interest in gender studies, you decided to take up a minor program too. 

It’s 8 am on a Monday and you’re enjoying your iced americano at Annie’s, your aunt’s café that she lets you run to help sustain your lifestyle. You monitor the daily operations, which means checking up on it everyday, and since class isn’t until nine, you always have your breakfast here. 

Your back is turned to the door and you’re packing up your stuff, laughing at something Woojin, your café manager, is saying. 

You stand up, swing your bag strap to your right shoulder and without paying attention, turn to your left to head out. Except instead of going for the door, you go for a body instead. The next thing you know, you’re massaging the right side of your forehead because holy crap this person has a knife for a chin, or a shoulder, or whichever part of the person’s body hit you. 

“Ow!”

“I. Am. So. Sorry,” the person says. His voice is low and raspy, sleepiness still evident in it, and he says those words as if each is a sentence on its own. “Are you alright?” 

By this time it has registered. You are looking up at the man who made your then-65 year old Grandma shriek. But that was last year and you bet if she were still alive now, she’d do the same, probably even louder. 

You could hear customers enjoying their morning coffee whisper quite loudly “Is that Jeon Jungkook?!” And then it registers again. Yep, it is.

Eyes wide, you tell him that “good thing I don’t have coffee or that pretty white shirt of yours would’ve been messed up.” 

Really, that’s what you say? 

God, you sound so stupid, so you bat your eyelashes and put on a smile, as if that would save you the embarrassment. He grins.

“Yeah, good thing you didn't,” he says, letting out a little laugh.

You smile again, a bit awkwardly though, just to acknowledge his appreciation of you not ruining his Monday morning. As you’re about to step to your left to go for the door this time, he furrows his eyebrows. “You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere?” 

Well, you know where you’ve seen him, but you don't say that. Instead, you mumble “probably in your dreams?” Again, what? 

He laughs again, this time more loudly. You’re amused at the child-like tone of his laugh, a complete contradiction to his toned body and tattooed arm. Your eyes travel up. Right, that was his shoulder you hit, you realize.

This is such a turn-off. Why does he keep laughing at stupid things? 

“That sounded different in my head. It wasn't supposed to be a pick-up line if ever you thought so,” you clarify. 

“No I didn’t, but thanks for confirming,” he says. You notice him smirking.

“Well, that settles it, then. Bye!” You wave, and you go for the door, for real this time. 

It was an interesting way to start the week. You rarely have VIPs entering your café, especially in this quiet part of town, and so it’s quite a surprise to have him check it out. What’s even more surprising is seeing him there again the next day.

Your back isn’t to the door this time, but you’re zoned in on the paper you’re working on, eyes focusing on the laptop screen. It’s only when you momentarily look up and see Woojin preoccupied and seemingly distressed on the phone that you hear someone say, “excuse me” with his inked hand up that you realize your VIP is back. You stand up, approach him, and ask what he wants to order.

Jungkook’s face lights up. “Well, good morning, dream girl,” he greets. You flinch at the thought of what you said the day before implied. 

“Please don’t,” you plead, before exploding into laughter. “Not my best moment, eh?” 

He smiles again, shaking his head as if agreeing to what you just said.

“What do you want to order?” 

“So… Annie?” He diverts.

You aren’t sure if you’re happy that asking for your name means he won’t have to call you dream girl again, or embarrassed because now there would be a name to the face. 

“Annie’s my aunt, but I help run the place. It’s Y/N.”

“And I’m Jungkook,” he says, putting out his hand, as if you don't know who he is, which actually impresses you. You’ve heard of famous people's tendencies to act like everyone knows them, making them forego the courtesy of introducing themselves properly. You shake his hand, a little calloused but soft nonetheless. “This is Sejin. He told me about this place and how good it is,” he continues.

“Which is why you’re here for the second day this week?” you ask, fishing for some feedback on your food. 

“I wanted to get back at the girl who would’ve spilled coffee on my shirt yesterday. Turns out this place has some great food as well,” he says, a smile creeping onto his face. You aren’t quite sure what to make of this. 

You insist on their orders, suggest your bestsellers, and turn it over to the kitchen. As you’re about to head back to your seat, he says, “I remember where I know you from!” You look at him, curious. 

“You’re Jieun’s cousin! She always posts about you,” he excitedly claims. 

You nod. Of course, Jieun. You could’ve figured that out and told him yesterday instead of the dream girl thing. 

“Right. Jieun,” you start. “She sucks up to me like that to convince me to visit her in L.A.,” you explain. You try to keep your voice steady. You don’t want to give the impression that having this conversation with him is already the most interesting part of your week, even if it is. Who gets to say that Jeon Jungkook recognizes their face anyway?

“You don’t like L.A.?” He asks curiously.

“It’s just not my cup of tea,” you respond, angling your body to move towards your table, but facing him still. You’re glad that the morning rush has ended and there aren’t many people in the cafe who minds enough that you’re talking to Jeon Jungkook. 

“Then what is?” he asks, arms crossed against his chest, looking genuinely curious. 

You let out a laugh. “Jasmine, chamomile. Lemongrass on some days,” you say. “We’ve got good ones you should try,” you tease. 

You aren’t the type to spill things about you that easily, and he picks this one up. He nods and smiles. The only other thing he says to you before you leave is that the food is good, and that he’d “see you around.” 

Of course he would, because for the rest of the week, he kept going back, right around the same time as you’re there. This isn't new, of course. You have so many customers who come everyday at a particular time — right before school or work or just part of their daily routine. But he didn't fit the profile of a regular customer, but you also could admit it was nice to see a fresh face around. 

It’s Thursday of that week when he tells you “I have meetings and stuff in this area and your food’s really good,” after you give him a questioning look as to why he’s here again. And it’s the next day when he comes alone, orders jasmine tea for himself and for you, and asks for your number after you talk about Disney movies and the damsel in distress trope. And cats, and how much you hate them. 

~

You have your back lying on the couch for 10 minutes, debating on whether you should drive to his place and ask what’s going on, or stay home and settle on phone calls for the next 2 months that he’ll be gone for the tour, if he’ll even pick them up. Because you’ve tried—you’ve called and left messages, not to ask why he hasn't been texting or if anything’s wrong, but just to crack up jokes that are way funnier than his, or to talk about food. You know, normal things. 

You like how your texts never start with “good morning” and “what are you doing?” They’re usually along the lines of “some cat left a paw mark on my car, my day is ruined” or “I tripped in front of an old lady and she almost died laughing” or “what movie should I watch if I want to forget I have a shit load of work to do” or a picture of whatever food you ate that day. 

Things are never formal with you two. It’s always very casual that sometimes you forget that his “show’s about to go on, I’ll talk to you later” text means he’s just about to perform in a sold-out stadium in front of thousands of people in Japan or something — like it was no big deal. Or that his “hang on, someone will just talk to me” is really code for “I’ve got an interview,” which you know will be newsflash and then posted all over social media immediately after. You enjoy this bit because it feels so natural, neither of you feel like you have to impress the other. 

“Will you stop air fucking and pole dancing on the mic stand,” you’d say. 

“Stop talking to me and do your report already,” he’d say. 

“Seriously, why are your clothes 3 sizes bigger? How much food are you hiding in there?” You’d laugh over the phone. 

“Your sweatshirt looks like shit, can I have it?” he’d annoy you, and then proceed to take it home. 

You like making fun of each other as much as you like talking to each other. He’s easy to get along with and not pretentious; you’re comfortable to be around and not judgemental. He doesn’t have a problem telling you if you’re being too whiny; you don't mind calling him out for being too much of a perfectionist that he’s actually not being productive anymore. 

Jimin was right when he described you two as inseparable, long-distance buddies — whether it was a night out with friends or a night in doing papers, if it didn’t clash with his schedule, you were together. Even if it was a quick take out dinner at 11PM  after a long day of practicing, he’d be at your place.

Whenever he’s away on tour, he’d be constantly updating you about fan signs and the food and the weather; similarly, you’d update him on the café’s customer of the day or this new e-book you’d discovered or the weird dream you just had. You never feel any sort of pressure or expectation; neither of you feel too attached, despite the amount of time you spend together. 

Regardless of how your constant texting or hanging out when he was back in Seoul seems like to others, neither of you ever felt like you had to define what you two really are. That’s what you always think the reason is as to why it works — it just does because you don't feel like it has to go a specific direction. 

Despite all that, it still feels odd that he hasn’t been returning your calls or even updating you on how his day has been. The longest you’d gone without talking was 3 days, and that’s with a heads up. The next few months will be crazy for the band, what with the remaining shows of their tour. It isn't like him to just disappear from your life like this. 

“When was the last time you saw him?” your best friend Chaewon asks over the phone when you finally decide to call someone after finding out Jungkook’s leaving.

“He’s not lost, okay. He’s just not calling,” you correct her. “But last week, we went for a drive, he slept over, and that was it. He just…” you trail. You aren’t even sure how to describe what just happened. 

“Then why don’t you go over there?” She asks, almost as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“I don't know, it might get messy. You know I’m not good with confrontations.”

“Just go, Y/N. He probably won’t be calling you after he’s left if he’d been dodging you like this.” 

Chae hangs up shortly after. You figure she probably doesn't want to hear another one of your excuses. You take your best friend’s advice and head for the door, get in your car, and take the 30-minute drive to his house.  

#

“I like to leave,” you tell him. You glance to your right where he sits at the passenger seat of your car then look back on the road. You and Jungkook had just spent dinner with your friends at Chaewon’s apartment and you told him you could drive him back to the dorm. 

He gives you a puzzling look. “Is that some sort of warning that I’ll wake up one day and you’ll just be… gone?” he asks, eyebrows scrunched up. You could see there’s a hint of concern on his face. 

“Oh, I meant I like taking trips,” you laugh, realizing the oddity of what you had just said, which was a response to Jaehyun, your other best friend, mentioning you being voted as ‘most likely to evaporate into thin air’ in high school. 

“Some days I wake up and just feel like being someplace else. So I grab my backpack and my trusty map, get into my car, and head out. By myself. Somewhere,” you say, shrugging, like it’s the most natural thing that people do. 

You describe to him the places you’ve seen — the lakes and mountains and fields that many people don’t know about, how the sunsets are like from there, how the trees and flowers smell like, how otherworldly they look. 

Most of the time, when you’re plagued with fear or sadness or doubt, you just leave. It’s your quick fix, your Band-Aid. You could be gone for a day or over the weekend; sometimes you’d be out for a week and not even your best friends know where you are, just that you’re safe. 

“But why?” he asks. You think it was ironic since this is a guy who leaves for a living. 

“When I was younger, we had this class and the teacher asked us to draw an object that represents us. I didn't even have a clear idea of who I was, how could I find the right object to symbolize me? You’ve got to find yourself, that’s how you’ll know, she said. I asked her how. She told me to go look at a map,” you narrate, looking back at that moment when you stared at your teacher trying to figure out if she was kidding or not. 

“I guess you find yourself in places you don't know. Or you realize who you really are when things get chaotic and you go somewhere far. Or you pull yourself away from the crazy to take a breath and escape some things you’re not really ready to face…” you state. 

“I never knew exactly what she meant, but I figured they all made sense,” you continue, slowing down the car as you’re a block away from his place. “You’ll always find a reason to leave.”

“But does leaving solve any of your problems?” 

“Not always, but sometimes the problem is nothing that you leave behind. Sometimes the problem is you.” You’d thought about the times you came back and felt like a different person with a different perspective on things. 

You look at him smiling, and you realize he’s been looking at you the whole time. You pull on the brakes, ready to say your goodnight, but he isn’t quite finished.

“What’s your favorite thing about leaving?” 

There are so many things you love about it. You love how it means you have the freedom and capability to do anything you want. You love seeing new scenery, discovering places for the first time, meeting new people and learning their stories. It is such a human thing to want to leave, you think. You like everything about it, even the parts where you get completely lost or rained or snowed on because you weren’t prepared. 

“Coming home,” you say. 

He softens at this, a pleased look on his face. 

“It’s like you’re gone for awhile and you see things for the first time, but then you drive back and you start seeing the familiar things — the streetlights, the driveways, the parks, the cafes… And all those constant things, they’re still there even when you leave, like they’re just waiting for you to come back.” 

“You should know that. You’re always jetting off somewhere new,” you say. 

“I leave because I have to. It’s part of the job.”

~

That conversation is ringing in your head the whole car ride to Jungkook’s house. Your knack for driving off is one of those things you never really share with anyone apart from your best friends. You never liked the thought of having to explain yourself to people, especially those you haven’t known for long, but with Jungkook, it never felt like you had to explain anything; you were always just sharing pieces of yourself that you knew he appreciated, that he somehow understood. 

You pull up behind the black SUV parked in front of his place; the same SUV that you know his driver uses to take him to the airport. You turn off the engine and go through the half opened gate, up the steps and through the door. 

You greet one of the members of his security team as she heads out the door and your eyes immediately turn to the two black duffel bags lying on the floor. They’re plump and full of things. You imagine all his black hoodies and sweatpants and leather jackets. You picture the bucket hats all neatly folded and his favorite Balenciaga sneakers tucked in somewhere. It feels weird, standing here at his foyer and just waiting for something to happen. 

You hear steps skipping down the stairs and his voice, assuring “I’ll call you when I get there” to someone on the phone. 

He’s looking down on it, texting someone who isn’t you. He does a double take, probably not expecting to see you standing by his door with a sad and confused look on your face. 

You’re fidgety and you feel nervous. You never liked confrontations, even if you were convincing yourself that is not why you came here in the first place. You just want to see how he was doing, maybe ask what he’s been up to, wish him luck on the shows and that you’d see him when he gets back in two months. 

“Y/N…” he starts. “I wasn't expecting you to be here.”

“Why, because you didn’t expect me to know you were leaving because you didn't tell me?” You say too quickly, resolve dissipating, tone and voice betraying you.

He looks taken aback. “Does it matter that I didn’t?” He says defensively, pulling up his duffel bags on a chair and seemingly looking for something inside one of them. You know he’s just distracting himself so he wouldn't have to look at you. 

“You go home to your parents for three days and you ask to see me the day before, and now you leave for North America for two months and suddenly it doesn't matter that you don’t tell me?” Your voice is getting louder and you immediately wish you hadn’t come here at all. It seems like he doesn’t want you to be here just the same. 

“You didn't even bother returning my calls or texts. And now you’re leaving. Your first show isn’t even until a week from now,” you say, crossing your arms. “What’s the rush?”

“I have a meeting with a producer,” he responds.

“That you couldn’t do during your free days there?” You snap back. You know this, you know they’re given some free time and he could’ve easily slipped that in there.

He sighs, knowing he can’t get out of this one. “I just want to be away from here, that’s all,” he says, glancing at you and then back at his bags. 

“You mean away from me?” 

He continues shuffling things in his duffel. He doesn’t even respond. You know it. He’s leaving because he wants to be away from you. 

“What’s going on, Jungkook? One day we’re laughing our butts off until we fall asleep and the next you just… not call at all.”

“I just didn't feel like it, I guess,” he says, zipping one of the bags and adjusting its strap.

This infuriates you.

“Well that’s nice. It seemed like you always felt like coming over with dinner, keeping me company while I worked, convincing me to go out for drinks, meeting me at the café for breakfast but then all of a sudden you don’t feel like calling?” You bite back.

He’s silent for a while, as if finding the right words to say. 

“You know what else is nice?” he starts, looking at you. “Calling me to come over on Friday nights when you don't feel like being out, asking me to stay the night and having me sleep next to you, kissing me and then telling me that ‘this feels nice and comfortable and fun’ and that I really am a great friend’.” His tone is angry, frustrated, desperate.

You feel your jaw drop open even if it’s closed. You did not see this coming at all. You always felt like you two were on the same page, that you like each other’s company so much that you prefer staying in on Fridays watching movies or National Geographic. You thought you both understand that sleeping next to each other only means you want to talk and laugh until you fall asleep, which is what happens all the time. You kiss then, which you treat like a goodbye because you don’t know if he’ll be there when you wake up. 

“I never thought of you as the selfish and unfair type, but I guess there’s just too many layers of you that it takes time before this side of you comes out.” He swings both his bags to his right shoulder, hinting that he’s ready to leave, that he’s ready to leave things like this. 

He starts walking towards the door. “They weren’t kidding when they said everything you touch turns into a mess.”

Your eyes widen in shock. “What the fuck, Jeon,” is all you could say. You’d never seen him this upset. Worse, you’d never seen him this upset at you.

“So what, I turned us into this big mess and you leave just like that? Like it’s not even worth talking to me about whatever it is you’re feeling?” you ask, following his movements. He’s halfway out the door by this time. 

You follow him out, overtake him and make sure he could see your face. “Leaving doesn't always solve problems.”

“Well, Y/N, sometimes it does. Because sometimes you’re not the problem, it’s what you leave behind.”

You look at his face, trying to find pieces of him you thought you’d figured out. He turns away, not wanting to see you like this. You see him soften a little bit, like he didn't mean for things to turn out this way, but you know he isn’t going to let up. You have so many questions running through your mind. What did this all mean? What’s going to happen now? 

“It’s sad how when someone you care about tells you exactly what you are to them, you realize at that moment what they are to you, and it’s the complete opposite.” 

He turns to look at you this time, his face screaming a kind of sadness you’d never seen before. You’d talked about him being homesick all these years when he’s out on tour. He’d shared how the gossip and his negative image have affected him and his relationships. He’d talked about how difficult it was holding onto things and people that were real, but none of those moments could compare to this one and to this look he has on right now that lets you know he’s upset and it has everything to do with you. 

You’re the one he’s leaving behind. You’re the mess he wants to get away from. You’re probably the last person he wants to see before flying out because you’re the problem he doesn't want to deal with. 

“Jungkook…” you start, although you have absolutely no idea what you want to say. You look at him, eyes pleading for something, anything. 

“I have to go,” is all he says. He turns around, clutching his bags over his shoulders, and walks away.

No ‘see you around’ or ‘I’ll call you soon’ like always. It was just ‘I have to go,’ like it was the period to the past months you two have been hanging out. ‘I have to go,’ like ‘leaving you is this need I have to fulfill.’ ‘I have to go,’ like, ‘this is it.’ 

You watch him walk out the gate. You watch the car drive away. There’s always something poetic about watching someone leave. You’d been used to that growing up. Your parents were always leaving, saving lives in places that needed saving, but you always knew they’d still be thinking about you and missing you while they were away. 

But with Jungkook, it was different. You hadn’t quite gotten used to him leaving all the time, and right now, you aren’t sure he’d be thinking about you or missing you while he was gone. 

‘I have to go,’ he said. Like, ‘I’m leaving. I don't want to stick around. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be with you.’

#

Things don’t feel real. You’ve been driving for 30 minutes, unsure where to go, reeling over the conversation you just had with Jungkook, if you could even call it that. It’s like he just dropped a bomb on you that you didn't know he’d had all this time. 

There was so much frustration and sadness on his face that morning and you couldn't get the image out of your head. What have you done? You kept asking yourself. 

But you reason that none of this is your fault. You thought everything was clear between the both of you. Sure, you never really talked about it, but if he was really feeling differently about you, then why didn't he just say something? 

“I’m heading out,” you say to Jaehyun over the phone. He’s always the first person you call when you feel like driving off.

“I’m guessing the talk with Jungkook didn't turn out well?” he asks. 

You don’t respond. You don’t really want to say anything to your friends about all this until you’ve figured things out. 

“Chae told me,” he says, interrupting the silence. 

“Yeah, I figured,” you reply. Information is so fluid between the both of them.

“So where are you off to?” 

“I don't really know, just wherever,” you say, but you know exactly where you’re going. It will just take another hour until you get there.

“Alright, just be safe,” he says, before hanging up. 

You step on the gas and turn on the music. Anything is better than the silence that’s ringing in your ears right now. You hum to the tunes of Colde and LeeHi, praying to the heavens you won’t hear Jungkook’s voice on the next song. This is your ‘favorites’ playlist and he had sneakily included some of his band’s songs one day when you went out to the market to grab some fruits and he stayed at your place watching TV. 

About 60 minutes later, you reach the place. It’s en route to a town a couple of miles south of the city. It’s a turn to the corner, onto a dirt road and a path lined with shrubs and small trees. The entrance to the main beach is right off the highway about a mile away, but you’d discovered this entrance not long ago when you drove off on a Sunday, two days after your ex-boyfriend came knocking at your door months after he broke up with you. It was the first time you spoke since then, and it was also the first time he ever tried to explain himself to you. You remember that trip; it was 7 months ago and it was also the last time you’d been here. Somehow you just felt the pull of this place. 

You realize later on, as you sit on the shore watching the sky turn purple and orange, that you told Jungkook about this when you were here. 

You watched the sunset then just like today. It looked so beautiful and so you snapped a picture and sent it to him. He was in Japan at that time for an event. You’d told him you’d fallen asleep and were just listening to the waves crash on the shore — your favorite sound in the world, you’d said. When it was all over, you decided to call it a day. 

“I’m driving back now,” you’d told him. “Okay,” he responded, voice tired from the day he had. It was rare for you to talk to anyone when you were out. You felt like a part of home was tugging at you when you did. But Jungkook was away and you just wanted him to see what you were seeing. You felt it was a way for you to tell him that you were fine. He didn’t seem convinced when he’d left your apartment that Friday night after Jinyoung visited. The photo you sent of the sunset, and the next one of you lying on the sand, smiling, were enough to convince him that indeed you were. 

“Okay. Hold on to the feeling once you see the familiar,” he’d said. He knew you loved that feeling. He always said he imagined a smile creeping from the left side of your mouth when you realized you were nearing home.

“You’re familiar, Jeon,” you’d told him.  

You liked the idea, that you saw him as something familiar. You’d only known each other then for a few months but you’d talked as if it had been years. He was away but he still felt constant. 

“So are you, Y/L/N,” he replied. 

You were thinking about this, about him, as the dust settled and the sky’s now a pretty dark blue with tiny hints of burnt orange. The waves still sound majestic, truly something you can never get tired of. You feel the cold autumn air tingle your insides. You close your eyes and breathe in to try to immerse yourself in your surroundings, hoping against hope that something will click and things will make sense.

You’d spent the whole afternoon here yet you feel like nothing’s changed. He is on the plane to California and you’re still confused. You still have the same questions from last week, from this morning. He’s still your constant; you just aren’t sure if you’re still his. 

Leaving doesn't always solve problems, you told yourself. You just wished you’d told him one more time. Maybe he would’ve stayed. 

#

“We’re having Spanish,” Chaewon says as you enter her apartment. “And you’re late.” She continues, turning to you with slices of apples and oranges in her hands. You could hear the laughter and the cheers from the living room. Nobody’s minding you because a soccer game is on. 

You envy their energy — why you agreed to continue to help run the cafe even with a full-time job, you don’t know, but it’s starting to take  its toll on you and all you want to do is sleep. Jungkook and the guys will soon be in full preparation mode for the start of the tour and  your superstar friend, who had now also claimed your own friends, wanted to have dinner with everyone before things got too busy.

“You cooked?” you ask, returning your gaze to her after looking out on who is already here.

“Nope. Take-out. But the Sangria is homemade.” 

“Take-out?” you repeat, excitedly,  making your way to the table to check on the food. 

“Jungkook wanted Spanish and take-out,” Chaewon confirms, as laughter roars from the living room. 

You walk over to check on everybody else who all acknowledge your presence with air fist bumps. 

“So you’ve moved past Chinese and Japanese take-out and have gone for Spanish now, huh, Jeon?” you question. He gives you his signature bunny smile from his seat on the floor. He does that quite often when he’s showing off or after he’s done something nice. 

“Hey, it’s a classy place and I get a discount. And, Chae sounded tired when I called so I took it upon myself to save dinner,” he proudly declares, standing up and motioning towards you. How cocky, you think, but you return his pinch on your cheek with a pinch on his nose.

Dinner is as fun as dinner with your friends always goes, but your hectic schedule that day made you extremely tired. After moving to the couch and a glass of Sangria later, you feel your head spinning and rest it on Jungkook’s shoulder. He notices your tired face, nudges at you and says he’s going to take you home. “Thanks, Jeon,” you murmur under your breath. “I promise I won’t puke.”

It takes a few glasses of water and a handful of profiteroles to get you sobered up and ready to head out. He helps you get in his car and you retreat to a semi-fetus position until the next corner. 

“You’re really tired, aren’t you? You’re never this quiet during a car ride. Even when you’re drunk you won’t stop talking… or singing,” he teases. “Out of tune, I might add.” 

You sit up from your sulking position. “Sometimes I just want to choke you, you know” you remark with a serious face. 

“Do you want to feel the wrath of my women?” he questions, winking, referring to his army of fans who are protective of him, and for good reason. 

“They’d probably want to do the same, only in a sexual way.” At this he laughs, shaking his head as if to say you’d done it again, teased him like this and made his cheeks blush.

The ride is a quick one for a Thursday night. You feel you haven't made fun of him enough as he pulls the brakes in front of your apartment building and immediately steps out and walks to your side before you could even thank him and say goodbye. 

He opens the door and pulls you out like it’s routine, although you clearly remember he’d brought you home when you were drunk only twice, one of which was when he’d found you half-naked in your kitchen with a knife, ready to attack him. Since then, Jungkook had made sure to never let you be that drunk again, and always made it a point to feed you sweets so you’d stay awake. 

He’s successful though — you’re sober and awake tonight. You’re just really tired. 

You unlock your apartment door and he steps in with you, goes straight to your kitchen and makes you tea. He knows that chamomile makes you sleep well, and that’s exactly what he prepares.

“So comfortable in my place already, Jeon,” you say after realizing what he’s doing. He just knows in what cupboard your mug is kept, and in which box the chamomile is stored, and how much sugar you put, but then again, he did help you quite a bit organize your kitchenware. He opens a drawer to get aspirin - “Just in case,” he says. You watch him like he had done this many times before. 

A small smile forms on your lips. 

“Look, you’re tired and I convinced you to come tonight. If you don't sleep well, you’ll wake up in a bad mood and complain to me again that your neighbor’s cat is loitering on your steps… and then you’ll blame me.”

You laugh. For someone who deals with so many people everyday, it amazes you how well he remembers things about you like that.

“I was about to say how I like hanging out with you because you make me coffee or tea…”

“You’d do the same for me, Y/N, no matter how much you want to stop yourself from doing so.” He winks at you, tastes the tea, and places it on the counter. 

You sit on the chair and feel the aroma of the tea soothe you. He stands there watching you, pleased with what he’s done. “You good?” he asks, and you nod behind your mug.

You don’t need to be taken care of, you’d told him once. You don’t need someone to be looking out for you when you’re drunk and being clumsy, when you’re busy and not eating, when you’re injured and unable to walk properly, when you’re stressed and needed a break. 

“If you don’t want me here you could always just tell me, you know?” he’d said once. “I won’t take it personally. We’re good with each other that way.” 

But you never asked him to leave. In fact, you always wanted him to stay, always asked him to.

“Ready to call it a night?” he questions, after you put down your empty mug.

You look up at him. You could feel your eyes falling and your body aching for a warm shower and your sheets. It’s been a crazy week and it isn’t even over. You want to rest, but you also don't want to be alone.

“Can you stay?” you ask, biting your lip and trying hard to pull off your puppy eyes so he’d say yes. 

“Sure,” he says. He didn’t wait for an explanation. He didn’t need one. He just understood.

You give him a warm smile. 

“I know you love my couch, but I might forget in the morning you’re here and I might stab you for real this time,” you state. “The bed’s big enough for both of us and Chandler,” you offer, referring to your hedgehog stuffed toy that’s about half your size. 

“At least I get a blanket!” he claims.   

“Thanks, Jeon.” 

A soft smile appears on his face. “Anything for you, Y/N.”

~

By the time you decide to leave the beach, the sky has already settled in a midnight blue. The waves are crashing, and from across the water, you could see lights from the small town not so far away. You think about spending the night there, or driving someplace else and sleeping in your car until the next morning. But you decide to go home, even if you know you’ll just be thinking about him more if you do.

You turn on your engine, put the windows down, and listen to the wind. You think about this morning again. You’re still in denial that he’d said what he did and the implication that you probably led him on all these months. 

But you’re convincing yourself that he couldn't pin this on you — he was always calling, he was always texting, he always wanted to be with you after a busy week, he always made it up to you when he couldn’t come over, he always stayed when you asked him to. 

You two kissed, but it was a soft one, not ravenous or lust-filled. He didn't pull away and you didn’t try to deepen it. But he looked so good after their show and he was gonna be gone for the tour and the alcohol was talking and you let it. 

You kissed again after that. There was no drunken night to blame it on the second time, but it was raining when you woke up the next day and he looked so warm and comfortable sleeping on your bed that you just felt like you had to. But he kissed you back, softly still, and he didn't say anything. He didn't pull you in for another one after. 

If he really felt anything, then he should have. He should have grabbed you and told you he wanted more, that he was feeling differently, that things were changing. He should’ve done it then or any other time after that. He was always honest with you, but you didn't understand why he wasn't honest about this one, why he decided to just stop things and leave you hanging. 

Maybe you weren’t away long enough, because you didn't even realize that you were already home until you saw your neighbor’s white sedan parked in your street. You pull the brakes and park behind it, thinking you were probably absent-minded the entire ride back. 

There’s no warm feeling inside that you’re back. This wasn’t a trip that was meant to change anything or make you figure out how to fix things. All you thought about was that you miss him terribly, and maybe that’s what it was meant for, rub in your face that he’s gone. 

You drag yourself up the stairs and enter your place. It suddenly feels like he’s everywhere in your apartment. You’d moved in last year and not even your best friends or your mom had imprinted enough of themselves inside.

There’s the cup Jungkook bought for you after he broke one of your favorites. There’s this pack of granola bars in your pantry that he got so you wouldn't have to gobble up ice cream when you were hungry. There’s the spare toothbrush he started using after his first night in. There’s your sweatshirt that he returned, and his hoodie that he said he’d get back the next time he sees you. 

And there’s the counter where you both shared take-out dinners and homemade breakfast. And there’s your couch where you spent nights working while he watched TV on mute. And there’s your bed where he’d slept next to you a few times. 

“I shouldn't have watched all those stupid chick flicks when he wasn't talking to me,” you think out loud. Now you’re left with an apartment that has him everywhere. 

You’re  not even together. You’ve shared so much of yourself to each other but never ‘I like you’s’ nor ‘I love you’s,’ not even ‘I miss you’, but why does it feel like you’ve shared all that and more? Why this sudden feeling of emptiness after he told you he had to go and then  left just like that? 

Everything you touch turns into a mess, he told you. 

Your friends joke about it all the time. Your penchant for trying anything that remotely interests you doesn’t necessarily mean you’re good at it. Whether it’s decorating those Valentine’s cookies that Hyejin bakes, molding those vases during a pottery class you impulsively signed up for, or even making pajeon when Chae said you couldn’t fry anything other than your broken-yolk eggs, you just have the tendency to end up with final products that are nothing like what you intended. In look or substance, they’re just not that pretty. Jungkook always laughed along.

But he said it to you today like it burned him. As if to say, look at what you’ve done, I don’t want to be a part of this. 

#

“So uhm, are you just going to sit there and watch us or are you going to help?” Jungkook asks from the floor of your living room, paintbrush in one hand, goodie bag in another. 

Body sprawled on your sofa with legs hanging and kicking off the armrest, you look at him with a pout. “Jaehyun doesn’t want me to.” 

Jaehyun sighs from where he’s sat on the floor. “It’s not that I don’t want to, Y/N. It’s that I can’t afford to.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” bitterness apparent in your voice. 

It’s a Sunday and your friends are at your apartment to help Jaehyun decorate the goodie bags he’ll be distributing to the kids at the orphanage that he volunteers at. Twice a year, he throws them a party that requires decorating giveaway bags that contain the books and sweets he’s bought with his own money. Jungkook ended up there because, well, by now you don’t question him anymore. They had a day-off and he said he was bored.

“Jaehyun’s being kind. Y/N’s just really shit at these things so he doesn’t let her touch these,” she says, holding up a bag where she’d painted a rainbow. 

“You got the color order wrong,” you shoot at her. She responds with scowl.

“Come on, Jae. Pretty please. I promise I won’t mess them up like last time,” you plead to Jaehyun. You know he has a soft spot for you.

“You said that the last time, too” Hyejin chides. 

“Wow thanks, guys. No one’ll even pretend to be on my side, huh,” you sit up and frown at everyone.

“Y/N, we are, like, most of the time.” You glare at your friend. “But I spent my money on these and the party is already next week and I really want the kids to feel hopeful and inspired, not scared, okay? And I want them to actually keep the goodie bags, not throw them away. It’s nothing personal, I promise.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” you wave your hand at them and give up. 

This is a usual occurrence. You know you’re useless with anything that involves the arts that’s why your only contribution every time you guys help Jaehuyn is your apartment as a venue. 

Jungkook arrived an hour earlier with a glimmer and excitement on his face when he saw what your friends were doing, like a little kid at a candy store. He wasted no time and got right down to business. God, those kids who will get his bags would never know they were holding a goldmine. 

“So what happened the last time?” Jungkook asks. 

“She tried to draw a bear but it ended up looking like that character from the monsters cartoon, you know, the one holding its eyes?” Hyejin recalls, laughing as she recalls the proud look on your face and the distressed one on Jaehyun’s. “She tried to remedy it but like, just no. It looked terrible.” 

“No kid would feel hopeful with that,” Chaewon adds.

“I really had to do quality checks of her work and I threw them all away cause they’d gone lumpy. She didn’t even mix the paint well,” Jaehyun continues.

“Yah! I think Jungkook got the message, okay?” You start chuckling, seeing Jungkook’s amused face and his effort to not laugh along at the thought of you being shut down for something you thought was a pretty thing you created. “I’ve accepted that art isn’t my forte.”

“So is cooking, baking, pottery, organizing, arranging…” You throw Chaewon a pillow, smack to her face like she deserves.

“But seriously. Trust her to score the final point of a championship game or write a 30-page report on housewifization and its subordination of women but if it isn’t sports or research, forget it. Everything she touches turns into a mess. RIP to all the cookies and goodie bags and vases that never saw the light of day,” Hyejin dramatically claims. “It’s kind of her thing.”

You shrug. It kind of is your thing. Your unartistic, unorganized, and mindless chaotic ass, for the life of you, just can’t get it together. Clothes and shoes all over the place, gifts wrapped in frayed gift wrappers, cooked food looking inedible… relationships that crash and burn because you couldn’t decide if you wanted to care or not, because you did whatever you felt like just cause you wanted to, because you got too close and didn’t know when to pull away… Yeah, definitely.

You turned to your friends who were all back to being immersed in what they were doing, proud look on their faces at the pieces that will definitely give joy and warmth to whoever will get them.

“I just mess things up, though. At least I don’t break them.”

~

You wake up to the sound of your phone ringing in your ears, surprising you so much you almost fall off where you were lying. 

“I’m outside,” Hyejin says on the other line. You get up and open the door.

She turns to you after seeing the blanket on your couch, realizing you had slept there instead of your bed. “Too much of Jungkook in your room, huh?” she says, looking sad, not realizing there was too much of him everywhere. You had just been too tired to go to your room when you got home, but you didn’t answer. 

She takes your silence as a yes and walks to your kitchen to take out the bread and coffee she bought, then heads out to your terrace while you wash up in the bathroom. 

You sit in front of her and eat your breakfast quietly while she watches you take small bites of your cheese bread. You tell her everything that’s happened the past 24 hours — from Jimin’s call to Jungkook’s out-of-left-field outburst. 

“I think I led him on,” you say, head thrown back on the chair, eyes closed.

“Uh, you think?” Hyejin claims. 

“How come none of you ever said anything?” you ask, looking at her. Jungkook didn't say anything; your friends didn’t say anything… Were you that naïve? That selfish? That stupid? 

“Well, it’s not like you’d listen anyway,” she starts. “You always just do what you want. Like, sure constantly talk to the guy giving you heart eyes every time you look at him, go date the guy whose family is in Australia and would most likely go back and leave you, sure spend time and flirt with the insanely hot and kind and funny pop star… like there are no consequences to these things,” she unapologetically says.

“Is that so bad?” you ask. 

You don’t want to sound defensive. You don’t have the energy to really argue with anyone. 

“Come on, Y/N. Don’t tell me you didn't see this coming. With how you two were, one of you was bound to fall for the other.”

“We allowed ourselves to get that close, Hyejin, to be… this. Whatever this is. Or was. It’s not like we ever talked about it, though.” 

She raises an eyebrow at you.

“But I just figured we were both mature enough to handle the consequences. I just don't understand why it has to be this screwed up.”

She looks at you as if she’s looking right to your soul. “It’s like you ask someone to play fire with you, and you don't mind if you get burnt. You don't mind if they get burnt, too. That’s what it’s like.” 

“Getting burned is part of it. Getting hurt is part of it. I know that, and I always get over it,” you say. 

“Yeah, but the thing is, you expect the same thing from the other person, too.” 

You don’t like how right she is about all this.

“When you get hurt, you just walk away because you expect it and you accept it and then that’s it, goodbye to everything that was good. Move on to the next relationship that may or may not work out,” she continues.

You cover your face with your arms, as if somehow that’s going to be enough to make up for everything you’ve done.

“But that’s precisely why you always live in the moment, you know? To hell with being careful, or obsessing over whether or not doing something will hurt you. When you feel it that moment, you do it. And you’re okay if it hurts you, or if it leaves you with the shorter end of the stick. You get back on your feet right after anyway.”.

The day at the quad when Jinyoung broke up with you comes to mind. You didn’t even fight for it, you normally don’t; you’d rather spend that time getting over something  and moving on. 

“But Jungkook isn’t like that, Y/N,” she says, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Don't you get it? He won’t tell you he feels differently. He won’t tell you and right then and there, realizing you don't feel the same way, just accept it and get over it.”

You look back to that last morning you had together, the tangled limbs, the morning kiss, watching him get ready, the words “stay a little longer” almost slipping past your lips like always, but instead saying that it was nice and comfortable and fun. He smiled then. 

“Thanks for doing that for me; you really are a great friend,” is what you said before he left. So you weren’t dreaming the crestfallen look you saw on his face. With furrowed brows he took his phone, multiple messages probably telling him to go back to the dorm, and then he was gone. 

Your eyes widen at the memory. That’s what he was referring to. You’d been too frustrated at him ignoring you that you didn’t even bother to think of what might’ve triggered it. 

Hyejin seems to pick this up. “So are you now realizing you’re an idiot?” 

You smack her arm and she winces, deservedly so. 

“Okay, fine. I may have been one but to ignore me like that and then just leave? He waited last minute to tell me what he was feeling and then he fucking left, leaving me here confused and hurt and in agony. That’s way worse than my quick and easy,” you exclaim. 

“Sometimes people will cover up the pain rather than just say they’re hurt. Some hearts are wired that way, Y/N. Not everyone does quick and easy. Not everyone gets to accept their own feelings, and upon realizing they’re not reciprocated, moves on right away like you do.” 

You let everything sink in.

“It was my second time at that beach yesterday, you know?” You start after a long silence.

“The first time was after Jinyoung had come over to explain himself. I was already over the break up; I left to get over his reason for it. But yesterday when I was down there, all I could think about was how much I miss Jungkook. Like, it was the only thing going through my head the entire time I was there. He was always leaving but I always knew that when he got back, he’d be knocking at my door again…” you trail. You know it isn't going to be the same this time around. 

“People have their own reasons for leaving, you always say that. You can never fault them for why they choose to. You leave because you want to figure yourself out. He left because he probably didn't want to deal with what he’s feeling for you.”

Feelings. You always made sure to keep yours in check, but Hyejin was right; you also always expected the same from him.

You look out on the city and get lost in your thoughts. People always thought of you as someone who had things figured out - you know what you want from life and from those who are part of it. You’d walked away from people and let them walk away from you when you knew it had to happen. But this whole deal with Jungkook feels like unfamiliar territory. 

If it were someone else, you probably would’ve just let it go, but you keep thinking about Jungkook and the way his dimples still surprise you every time he smiles and how his laugh is so childlike and infectious it annoys you and warms your heart at the same time. 

You can't get off your head how it feels to hear him say ‘good morning’ when you wake up and find his arm gently resting on your waist, your fingers always tempted to trace the ink decorating his own. 

You warm at the thought of how he manages to make you feel better when you’re tired, how he never makes you feel hopeless when you’re being angry at all the unjust things in the world, how he reminds you of all the good there is during the times you forget. 

You think of how you don’t want to lose all that.

“Feelings…” you say. You couldn’t get used to the idea that he has them for you. 

“Do you have them too?” Hyejin finally asks. 

You were so hung up on how the past week has been, that he ignored you, that he left, that you didn't even stop to think of why, and more importantly, what you feel for him.

“I don’t know.”

“I’ve never seen you like this with anyone, though.”

“It’s because I’ve never been like this with anyone.”

“Like what?”

“Cautious?” 

“You mean, spending so much time together, constantly talking, kissing, is you being cautious?” She’s asks, incredulous.

You shrug. “It was never anything more.”

“Then why do you do them?” She snaps back.

“Because I want to? I’m always ready for him to turn me down.” It does surprise you every time he says yes to your requests, to your calls, your kisses. “But he never does.”

“But you don’t ask for anything more?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.” 

Hyejin groans. “You’re giving me a headache.” 

“What did I say?!” 

“How can you want all of that and none of it at the same time? Seriously, you guys are like, friends with benefits without the sex…”. 

You throw her a piece of bread, scandalized with what she just said. But you laugh at this. Your friends had joked about that before; even his band mates agreed. You were everything and nothing at the same time, stuck in the grey scale that neither of you were willing to admit. Or move away from. 

“I think you just wanted everything - you wanted company, you wanted him to stay the night, you wanted to kiss, you wanted him to hold you,  you wanted to talk… You wanted to be friends.” When Hyejin says it like that, you do seem like a fool.

“But you didn’t want what those actually implied or even required from you,” she continues. “Almost like there’s this line you’ve set for both of you that only you can see.”

You sigh in frustration. You know when you drew that line, when you’d warned yourself to never cross it, when you’d promised yourself to never want more.

“I guess I always knew what I really felt… I probably just denied it or didn't want it enough,” you think out loud.

“So what now?” She finally asks the painfully obvious question. “What will you do now?”

“Wallow in my self misery and remind myself everyday that I'm an idiot,” you answer back.

“Hmm. You’re too easy on yourself,” she says.

You smack her arm again, which earns you a laugh from her. “I’m kidding! But seriously, now that everything's a little clear, what are you going to do?”

“Make things even clearer?” You sigh. “I feel like such a mess, Hyej. And he’s the one who usually cheers me up when I feel like shit but I can’t ask that from him, now can I?” You say, your body now slumped in your chair, feeling like you’re back to square one.

“You can’t and you won’t.” She walks over to you to pull you up like a big baby. “You’ve got 2 months to figure your shit out before he comes back. Better start now,” she says, as she ushers you back inside.

#

There’s continuous knocking on the door, causing you to get up from your seat on your work desk and you readied yourself to fight whoever decided to disturb your busy Saturday morning. 

You open the door and are greeted with a loud bellow, your name being sung in opera-style by a certain doe-eyed boy. 

“Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing! You’re gonna wake the neighbors,” you shout, pulling him inside.

“Your closest neighbor is an old woman who’s hard of hearing. I think we’re good,” he smiles, eyes all innocent-looking.

“What are you doing here?” You ask. It’s one of those rare Saturday’s when the guys are afforded a full day off - no practice, no show, no filming. He always looked forward to days like this, which you expect he’d spend sleeping in or exercising or playing Overwatch. 

“Got a free day,” he gleams.

“I know but what are you doing here?” 

“You’ve been cranky and whiny this whole week. And you don’t respond to my memes,” he says, pouty lips making him look like a little kid that hasn’t been given much attention.

“I told you it’s work. I’m short on time to work on my reports since I got dragged to this week-long event. But I think my brain cells have dissipated; I can’t seem to construct simple sentences anymore,” you sigh, heading for your couch to sink into. “I’m sorry for not responding to your memes.”

“I’ll forgive you only if you come with me.” 

“To where?” Your brow quirks up, finally taking in his baggy pants and loose white polo and bucket hat. “And what look are you going for with this whole get up?” You question, not missing the mismatched pieces of clothing and shades perched on his hat. 

“Something unassuming. I asked Jin hyung for advice and raided Tae’s closet,” he shrugs. 

“So what do you say? Come with me. Take a break! You won’t get any more productive being cooped up in here. Plus, artists need to go out for inspiration and you don’t seem like you’re getting it here,” he says with a smug look. You smack his arm, knowing that last bit he only said to mock you.

But it’s the words you always say to him; now he’s just saying them right back to you. “I promise to buy you snacks,” he says, reaching out his hand to you and pushing you to your room to get dressed.

And that promise he keeps. He rented a simple car so his luxurious one wouldn’t catch attention. You take a drive out of the city, sing your lungs out in the car, and go store hopping. You find supermarkets and convenience stores and little shops to look for different kinds of snacks that you both try and make reviews of. Every pretty view you see has you stopping the car and admiring the scene. 

You inhale the fresh air, something you don’t get much in the city, and you appreciate this. You get back to your place, complain about your tummy aches, laugh until you fall asleep, tangled limbs and all, but not before telling him it was the most fun you’d had in a while and your brain feels rejuvenated enough to get the reports done in the next few days. 

He falls asleep with that smile, the proud one he’d have on when you show your appreciation for him. He does like getting praises, that much you know.

You wake up to his quiet snores, cheek squished on the pillow with a hand over your waist, like always. You know you have to wake him up soon, which you do with a soft kiss, like always too. You watch him smile into the kiss and return it, until he finally opens his eyes to look at you. 

“Get up, sleepyhead. They’ll be calling you over soon,” you say. 

You watch him ready himself from your bed, still drowning in that kiss with a lazy smile on your face. You want to tell him to stay a little longer, even if you’re the one pushing him to get ready. 

You always want to say that, whether it’s walking out the door at night or getting up from your bed in the morning. You always want to ask him to stay a little bit more but you never do, thankful for whatever time he could spare you, careful not to ask for more than what he could give.

Yesterday was good. You’d been drowning in work, and you’d blown off your friends this past week and you knew that Jungkook had a busy week as well. But yesterday felt nice. He’d given up his own free day to be with you and he willingly did so, knowing that you need it without you saying it out loud. 

You had fun during the drive, and even more so exploring the store aisles, figuring out which brand of shrimp cracker or chocolate milk to get, buying all of them anyway, and excitedly opening them, finishing it all up and proceeding to give your review like those YouTubers you both liked to watch. 

It always feels like this with him, but you had been so tired and drained that being with him yesterday just made you feel so happy. It showed with how you constantly leaned into him, how you rested your head on his shoulder as he was deciding on the size of banana milk he would buy, knowing he’d be resting his head on yours as a response. 

You were missing physical affection and he was always willing to give you that, and you liked that he never seemed to ask for more. You’d initiate and he’d return, you’d pull and he’d let you, no questions asked. It felt comfortable enough, you thought. You didn’t have to explain yourself or your actions. It just always seemed like a given. 

He’d said that he was dealing with a lot already as a pop star, that stuck with you and you knew from then on it was code for him not wanting to get into a relationship, and despite having being single for a little over a year already, you had too much going on in your life too that you didn’t really need any commitments at this point. You were on the same page, for sure.

It was nice and comfortable and fun, that’s what you tell him. You’re referring to the day you had, and what it’s like with him too, in general. You watch him pull his gray hoodie over his head. The black one, his favorite, you’d worn the night before, and you hug yourself to say you don’t want to return it yet. 

He chuckles, “Fine. I’ll get it back the next time I see you.” You like his scent, but you’d never say this to him too.

You stand up to head to the kitchen, feeling refreshed and ready to be productive for the rest of the week. You know it had so much to do with the previous day, as if the laughter and smiles you had made up for that entire week when you barely did either. You give him a quick hug. “Thanks for that, Jungkook. You really are  a great friend.”

His face falls a little bit, as he clutches onto his phone to check the multiple messages probably telling him to go back home. You don’t think much of it. When you turn back to him, he’s gone.

~

part 1 drabble <<>> part 2 drabble

series masterlist

[jokertrap-ran]

(时空中的绘旅人—For All Time—) 司岚 SR 「欧洲纪行」 Clarence SR [Journey to Europe] Painting Story Translation: Of the Stonehenge and the Acropolis

*For All Time Master-list / Clarence’s Personal Master-list *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Card is from the [Ruins & Civilizations] series. *Yes, Clarence speaks really good English...

“Telling a story of a distant place.”

From England to Europe, he's just like a walking encyclopedia. But it's Clarence, so I suppose perfection is the norm; right?

Three weeks later, I got my Visa and started my journey to Ancient Civilization.

First, I'll fly to Europe.

The first stop will be the prehistoric site of the United Kingdom.

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Regret didn't truly strike until I reached Stonehenge, and it did. Hard.

Being part of a TV Program wasn’t any sort of holiday at all; the work schedule starts the very moment we take off, and there wasn’t much time to rest either.

Starting last afternoon, we'd taken a plane to the airport in London, Heathrow, flying through the large part of the night; and then followed up with a bus ride to Wiltshire before we could even regain our bearings.

I felt a little dizzy and faint just gazing upon this large pile of rocks under the scorching rays of the sun…

▷Choice: Jet-lag sucks…

Despite having fallen asleep on the plane here, the jet lag still made me rather uncomfortable…

▷Choice: Long-distance flights suck…

The air was too stagnant for my taste, given that it was a long-distance flight. Plus, the economy-class seats were way too narrow. Hence, I didn’t sleep well at night...

Thinking about it now, Emerald had truly taken care of me well during all of my previous trips abroad. He’d buy me a flight ticket under the business-class, and even reserve plenty of time before the actual trip itself, enough so that I could recover from the jet lag.

I read the lines of the script that was to be recorded for the TV filming in a dead tone.

MC: Stonehenge is a renowned prehistoric monument made of bluestones in Europe. It was built between 4000~2000 BC, spanning an area of around 11 square meters…

Thankfully, my main job was painting. If I had to memorize this entire script, I'm afraid I'd fall asleep way before any of these words stuck to my brain…

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With that in mind, I snuck a glance over at Clarence, who was preparing to be on camera.

I heard that he'd come to Europe once during high school as an exchange student, and that his English capabilities were exceptional.

Hence, that was why he was in charge of explaining the whole story of the Ancient European Civilization.

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He listened intently to the Director's instructions, smiling as he stepped before the lens.

Clarence held an information booklet as he started delving into the explanation in front of Stonehenge.

What happened was truly something out of the realms of my expectations. Clarence had started with a paragraph of English narration.

Clarence: What can it be？

Clarence: The place was all doors and pillars, some connected above by continuous architraves.

Clarence: It is Stonehenge! Older than the centuries; older than the d'Urbervilles.

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Clarence: In one of Britain's masterpieces, "Tess of the d'Urbervilles", this was the final destination of the runaway, Tess.

Clarence: The farmer girl Tess, who believed in god, laid to sleep peacefully atop the remains of the Altar built by the Druids.

Clarence: It is so solemn and lonely— after my great happiness with nothing but the sky above my face.

Clarence: It is at the very end of life, that all prayers, regrets, and pain comes to an end. Tess laid atop the Altar built by the Druids with only the sky above her head.

Clarence: That's right. This is the place where Tess had laid to sleep, entering a peaceful slumber. The people of ancient times had built their Altar here more than 2000 BC ago.

Clarence: As time passed, people started believing in the other gods and speaking other languages. Yet, the story of the vast sky that hung overhead and the towering rocks, are something that has been passed down from generation to generation...

Using "Tess of the d'Urbervilles" as an intro, Clarence delved into the main explanation of Stonehenge.

He subtly turned the topic back around, explaining the significance of Stonehenge in the histories of both architecture and astronomy alike.

He walked into the center of the stone monument as he spoke, explaining the principal axis of the pillars that made the Stonehenge. And about how the old path would fall in line with the morning sun of the summer solstice.

Meanwhile, the other two pillars paint in the direction of where the sun sets during the winter solstice.

Clarence's explanations were simple and easy to understand. It was intriguing enough that even I got enthralled by it despite how sleepy I initially felt.

Director: Amazing! Truly amazing! Your speech is way better than the script, Clarence!

Director: St. Shelter's University really did find a competent and suitable person for the job!

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I finally got the chance to talk to Clarence upon returning to the hotel in the afternoon.

He told me that he liked this whole plan about the Ancient Civilizations because he was once an exchange student here in Europe; hence, his familiarity with the European Ruins. He said that these ruins had managed to witness human civilization; and that this world only became much more interesting due to the footprints that humans leave behind.

——This view of his was similarly shared by Emerald himself.

Clarence: I was actually the one who suggested the next site to the Director and his team.

I glanced at the plane ticket.

MC: Athens, Greece…? Are we going to see the Acropolis?

▷Choice: Athens is where the European Civilization originated from!

MC: The European Civilization originated from Greek. And I heard that the Acropolis of Athens is a marvelous historical place to behold.

▷Choice: I once saw a show called “Saint X”...

MC: I once saw a show where all the Saints of X lived within a sanctuary, which happened to be the Acropolis.

MC: So, I think that the Acropolis should be a marvelous relic of history!

Clarence smiled wordlessly.

Clarence: You'll know once you get there.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

After a day’s rest, we flew off towards Athens, Greece.

We then took a ferry from Piraeus Port to Rhode Island.

MC: I can’t believe that the Acropolis isn’t the historical relic of Greece… Fine. I should have known. I mean, you were smiling! But you never did reply to me...

MC: Still, how strange. What other historical remains are there on Rhode Island that are more valuable than the Acropolis itself?

Clarence: The Acropolis is indeed the largest ruin in Greece. However, I personally doubt that the ruins of civilization need to be shown through such grandeur.

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I was absolutely dumbfounded when Clarence walked right back to Rhode Island’s Port.

There was nothing else here… Other than the ordinary port and Castle erected by the later generations.

Clarence took one glance at the script before turning back up to face the cameras while explaining.

Clarence: This is Rhode Island. Standing here now, I can only see the peaceful harbor and the buildings built by the later generations.

Clarence: In 282 BC, a bronze statue of Helios, the Greek God of the Sun, was erected here. However, the statue was destroyed by an earthquake a mere 56 years later.

Clarence: Though it lasted for only a short period, it was still long enough for it to be recognized by Antipater, a traveler of the old, as one of the “Seven Wonders of the World” 

Clarence explained about "Rhode Island's Sun God Statue". Based on his description, it was a colossal statue that towered at the height of 33 meters. It was made entirely out of bronze. The torch in its hand acted as a lighthouse, and its two feet, each on one end of the shore, served as the Port’s entryway.

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Based on Clarence’s descriptions of the place, I let my thoughts wander, bringing me to Ancient Europe. The grand statue seemingly reappeared before my eyes.

I raised my head to look at the statue. It stood between the blue sky and the sea, the torch in its hand blazing furiously, lighting the way for any passing ships and directing them towards the harbor...

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Clarence: After the fateful earthquake, the ruins of what remained of the God of the Sun laid there in silence for another thousand years.

Clarence: After that, Rhode Island was conquered by the Arabs, and the remains of the statue smuggled to Syria. The site of glory that was once behold became no more.

Clarence: Mankind creates miracles, yet destroys them all the same.

Clarence: We create prosperity alongside the development of Civilization, yet at the same time, we destroy what’s beautiful and well in light of our greed and desire.

I now know why he’d suggested Rhode Island instead for the filming location for the “European Civilization”.

The Acropolis was the origin of European Civilization.

However, the statue of the God of the Sun in Rhode Island tells us all, that no matter what Civilization it may be, it can all just be as easily erased by the hands of the very humans who built it.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars CX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: I just hope you guys are actually enjoying this book bc you’ve been extremely quiet and it’s making me worry jfdg -Danny

Words: 4,785

Series’ Masterlist

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Listen to: ‘Lemon To A Knife Fight -by The Wombats

Chapter Eight: Arguments.

"Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace, a potion to calm anxiety and soothe agitation..."

Mel discovered that pouring all her attention into the classes was an excellent way to keep Harry and his stupid ogling towards Cho away from her thoughts. She wasn't going to bury herself in homework and miss the fun, but for the first time in her life, she was going to put herself first.

"A light silver vapour should now be rising from your potion," called Snape.

As on queue, the surface of Hermione and Mel's started to create a mist, Snape barely looked at them without saying anything.

"Potter, what is this supposed to be?" She heard the Professor ask in quite a nasty voice.

"The Draught of Peace," said Harry shortly.

"Tell me, Potter, can you read?" "Yes, I can."

"Read the third line of the instructions for me, Potter."

" 'Add powdered moonstone, stir three times counterclockwise, allow to simmer for seven minutes, then add two drops of syrup of hellebore.' "

Mel noticed Harry's face shift slightly at the last line.

"Did you do everything on the third line, Potter?"

"No."

"I beg your pardon?"

"No. I forgot the hellebore..."

"I know you did, Potter, which means that this mess is utterly worthless. Evanesco. Those of you who have managed to read the instructions, fill one flagon with a sample of your potion, label it clearly with your name, and bring it up to my desk for testing. Homework: twelve inches of parchment on the properties of moonstone and its uses in potion-making, to be handed in on Thursday."

She knew it had been unfair to vanish Harry's potion, but she picked up her things, delivered her own, and left the classroom in silence.

"That was really unfair. Your potion wasn't nearly as bad as Goyle's, when he put it in his flagon the whole thing shattered and set his robes on fire," Hermione commented during lunch.

"Yeah, well, since when has Snape ever been fair to me?"

"I did think he might be a bit better this year. I mean... you know... Now he's in the Order and everything."

"Poisonous toadstools don't change their spots. Anyway, I've always thought Dumbledore was cracked trusting Snape, where's the evidence he ever really stopped working for You-Know-Who?"

"I think Dumbledore's probably got plenty of evidence, even if he doesn't share it with you, Ron," snapped Hermione.

"Oh, shut up, the pair of you," said Harry. "Can't you give it a rest? You're always having a go at each other, it's driving me mad..." He turned and left.

Ron and Hermione looked at her in search for an explanation.

"I think he was pretty clear, wasn't he?" Mel raised a brow. "You two fight a lot."

"Look who's talking!" Ron said heatedly. "You and Harry have been arguing all the time!"

"We don't even talk!"

"You do! But you only fight!" Hermione pointed out. "It's strange, you barely speak and when you do, you end up yelling."

"We still fight less than you two."

"Fine," Hermione replied irritatedly. "We'll stop fighting, but Harry has to stop lashing out on us, we're not the ones he should be treating like this."

"Well then, you tell him that," Mel scowled.

Hermione looked like she wanted to keep arguing, but Ron stopped her and mumbled something Mel couldn't hear.

"D'you realize how much homework we've got already? Binns set us a foot-and-a-half-long essay on giant wars, Snape wants a foot on the use of moonstones, and now we've got a month's dream diary from Trelawney! Fred and George weren't wrong about O.W.L. year, were they? That Umbridge woman had better not give us any..."

"I reckon I can handle it, but if you got any problems I'll help you, you just have to pay me five knuts per essay!" The girl joked.

"I think I rather fail everything, thank you..." Ron pouted.

"Well, good afternoon!" Umbridge greeted them in that unnerving voice.

"Good afternoon," said a few.

"Tut, tut– That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," Everyone replied. Mel and Ron shared an amused grin.

"There, now. That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please. Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it? The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L. year. You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centred, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."

"Theory-centred?" Mel looked at Hermione. "I'm hating this already..."

"Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?" A few replied humorlessly, the woman interrupted them. "I think we'll try that again. When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply 'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge."

"Good. I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners.' There will be no need to talk."

Everyone listened. Everyone except for Hermione, who kept her book closed and raised a hand in the air, waiting for Umbridge to notice her. An awful lot of time passed before Umbridge finally decided to address the girl.

"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?"

"Not about the chapter, no."

"Well, we're reading just now. If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."

"I've got a query about your course aims."

"And your name is — ?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully."

"Well, I don't. There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."

"Using defensive spells? Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?" The woman laughed, Mel found it extremely irritating.

"We're not going to use magic?" Ron asked in surprise.

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr — ?"

"Weasley."

Hermione raised her hand again.

"Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"

"Yes. Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?"

"No, but —"

"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way —"

"What use is that?" said Harry. "If we're going to be attacked it won't be in a —"

"Hand, Mr Potter!"

Several students now had their hands up.

"And your name is?" Professor Umbridge asked to one.

"Dean Thomas."

"Well, Mr Thomas?"

"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said Dean. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk-free —"

"I repeat, do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"

"No, but —"

"I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school, but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed — not to mention, extremely dangerous half-breeds."

Mel gasped quite loudly. Several of her classmates stared at her in anxious anticipation.

"If you mean Professor Lupin," piped up Dean Thomas, who was as upset as her, "he was the best we ever —"

"Hand, Mr Thomas! As I was saying — you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group, and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day —"

"No we haven't," Hermione said, "we just —"

"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"

"How can self-defense be inappropriate at any age?" Mel asked, her hand up without waiting for the teacher to giver her permission. "Why does it matter? Isn't it better if we manage to learn it while still young? It makes room for more knowledge–"

"More knowledge?" Umbridge's eyes had a dangerous glint. "What kind of knowledge, Miss Dumbledore?"

Mel opened her mouth but she did not speak. Umbridge knew her name without needing to ask for it.

"Just..." The girl hesitated, measuring her words, "general..."

"It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you — Did that help you, Miss Dumbledore?"

"Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he? Mind you, we still learned loads —" Dean commented.

Mel was starting to like Dean better than other years, she made a mental note to buy him a few sweets on their next visit to Hogsmeade.

"Your hand is not up, Mr Thomas! Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?"

"Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the countercurses and things?"

"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions."

"Without ever practising them before? Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"

"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough —"

"And what good's theory going to be in the real world?" Harry blurted out.

"This is school, Mr Potter, not the real world."

"So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting out there?"

"There is nothing waiting out there, Mr Potter."

"Oh yeah?" Everyone stared at him in expectation.

"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?"

"Hmm, let's think... maybe Lord Voldemort?"

Mel swore under her breath, this was exactly the kind of stuff they were supposed to be avoiding, and Harry had run straight into the trap.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr Potter. Now, let me make a few things quite plain. You have been told that a certain Dark wizard has returned from the dead —"

"He wasn't dead– but yeah, he's returned!"

"Mr-Potter-you-have-already-lost-your-House-ten-points-do-not-make-matters-worse-for-yourself," said Professor Umbridge, her demeanour changing, but barely. "As I was saying, you have been informed that a certain Dark Wizard is at large once again. This is a lie."

"It is NOT a lie! I saw him, I fought him!"

"Shut up!" Mel hissed, but Umbridge spoke louder.

"Detention, Mr Potter! Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office," She looked like she'd just been granted her biggest wish, which Mel didn't like at all. "I repeat, this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any Dark wizard. If you are still worried, by all means, come and see me outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am your friend. And now, you will kindly continue your reading. Page five, 'Basics for Beginners.' "

Harry stood up.

"Harry, no!" Hermione cried quietly, she turned to Mel with a pleading look, but she crossed her arms and looked ahead. He handles his own stuff, she convinced herself, too pissed about his careless behaviour.

"So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?"

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident," she said without missing a beat.

"It was murder. Voldemort killed him, and you know it."

"Come here, Mr Potter, dear." She said sweetly.

Professor Umbridge pulled a small roll of pink parchment out of her handbag, stretched it out on the desk, dipped her quill into a bottle of ink, and started scribbling, hunched over so that Harry could not see what she was writing. Nobody spoke. After a minute or so she rolled up the parchment and tapped it with her wand; it sealed itself seamlessly so that he could not open it.

"Take this to Professor McGonagall, dear," said Professor Umbridge, holding out the note to him.

Mel was wondering what was going to happen to Harry when she walked out of the classroom and a younger student stood in front of her, handing her a note. Mel opened it quickly knowing from whom it was, she read it with a new sense of purpose.

'Sugar quills. Tonight after dinner.'

Mel sat down in front of the Headmaster and stared at him, waiting. Dumbledore seemed unimpressed.

"You've got your first class with Professor Umbridge."

"That woman is as close to being a Professor than I am to being a mermaid."

"Professor McGonagall told me Harry had an outburst in the middle of her class."

"He did."

"Why didn't you step in?"

Mel frowned.

"Was I supposed to, sir?"

"You're certainly not obliged, but after all these years I assumed you knew better than to let him speak about Voldemort in front of a member of the Ministry."

He didn't sound upset, but there was an edge on his voice that made her feel uncomfortable about her indifference.

"I tried to get my point across, but she knew who I was and after that, I didn't dare to speak. I didn't want to give her a reason to believe my lessons are more than what they are..."

"I'm afraid Fudge is not entirely wrong about your lessons, Mel."

The girl looked up at the man in confusion.

"What?"

"After the events of last June, I've decided to advance your classes to N.E.W.T levels," Dumbledore replied calmly. "I beg you forgive me, but your studies to become an animagus will have to wait. You'll be learning legilimency and occlumency, and nonverbal spells that you will try to do wandless."

"That's..." Mel started, taken by surprise. "That's okay... why?"

"Professor Umbridge will refuse to teach you in practice because Fudge doesn't want you to learn more than what you already know," Dumbledore explained. "I can't allow that to be your case. I need you to be ready."

"Ready for what? You're not... you're not saying I'm bound to take your place?"

Dumbledore fell silent for a moment before continuing.

"I don't want you to be my replacement. I want you to cover all the aspects that I cannot. I understand, thanks to Emily's letters, that you and Harry have grown apart during this summer, is that true?"

Mel thought about it for a moment before speaking.

"You need me to stay close, don't you?" She said in resignation. "Want me to become Harry's guard? You'll find that hard to achieve, as soon as he found out about the lifeline he cut all ties... He's convinced that this way is safer."

"What we're doing is important and we can't afford to fight in times like this. If you don't stick together, then we already lost."

"It's not that I don't care," Mel started, getting a bit irritated. "I just that he's been acting up on everyone–"

"Have you stopped to think that maybe he's acting this way because he's been cast out?" Dumbledore asked carefully. "He pushed you away, and you decided to push even further. He felt guilty of the pain you went through. I'm not saying you owe him kindness, but I surely expected more of you, Mel. You've always been understanding. What's different about this time?"

'What's different is that he broke my heart', Mel thought bitterly. However, his words did cause her to reflect on her actions.

"We'll start next week then, with the new lessons?" She asked weakly.

"Indeed," He stood up. "I must ask you to keep them in utter secrecy this time. No one must know."

"Umbridge could be listening," Mel nodded.

"Keep a low profile," The man told her once they were standing at the door. "Don't give Professor Umbridge a reason to punish you."

"I believe He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back, and I believe you fought him and escaped from him," Luna approached them in their way to Herbology. She said all this quickly and without blinking.

"Er — right," said Harry.

"I also believe you and your grandfather are misunderstood geniuses."

"The Headmaster's not my grandad, Luna," Mel replied politely.

"I know," She said like it was obvious. "You can laugh!" Luna exclaimed, unaware that the laughter coming from Parvati and Lavender had nothing to do with her words. "But people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!"

"Well, they were right, weren't they? There weren't any such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack," Hermione mentioned.

"D'you mind not offending the only people who believe me?" Harry asked after Luna left.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Harry, you can do better than her! Ginny's told me all about her, apparently, she'll only believe in things as long as there's no proof at all. Well, I wouldn't expect anything else from someone whose father runs The Quibbler."

"I don't think Luna's a bad person," Mel defended. "Just because she chose to believe in something you don't, it doesn't make her stupid or crazy."

"I know that," Hermione rolled her eyes. "But c'mon, Mel..."

"I don't want to hear another word about Luna's 'madness'– she's all right. I don't want to hear any of you calling anyone crazy- I'm sick of that bloody word..."

"I want you to know," Ernie approached them the same way Luna did, "that it's not only weirdos who support you. I personally believe you one hundred percent. My family have always stood firm behind Dumbledore, and so do I."

"Luna's not a weirdo–!" Mel started, put Harry stoped her.

"Thanks very much, Ernie," He stared at her expectantly.

If she was supposed to prove her point on uniting the houses with good manners and a kind attitude, she had to start now.

"We appreciate it," She kept a smile firmly on.

"Oy, Potter!"

"What now?"

"I'll tell you what now," Angelina stormed towards them. "How come you've landed yourself in detention for five o'clock on Friday?"

"What? Why... oh yeah, Keeper tryouts!"

"Now he remembers! Didn't I tell you I wanted to do a tryout with the whole team, and find someone who fitted in with everyone? Didn't I tell you I'd booked the Quidditch pitch especially? And now you've decided you're not going to be there!"

"I didn't decide not to be there! I got detention from that Umbridge woman, just because I told her the truth about You-Know-Who —"

"Well, you can just go straight to her and ask her to let you off on Friday and I don't care how you do it, tell her You-Know-Who's a figment of your imagination if you like, just make sure you're there!"

"You know what?" Harry grumbled, looking over his shoulder to make sure Angelina was gone. "I think we'd better check with Puddlemere United whether Oliver Wood's been killed during a training session, because she seems to be channelling his spirit."

"What d'you reckon are the odds of Umbridge letting you off on Friday?" said Ron as they entered the Great Hall.

"Less than zero. Better try, though, hadn't I? I'll offer to do two more detentions or something, I dunno... I hope she doesn't keep me too long this evening. You realize we've got to write three essays, practice Vanishing Spells for McGonagall, work out a countercharm for Flitwick, finish the bowtruckle drawing, and start that stupid dream diary for Trelawney?"

"I already finished half of all that," Mel said with a pleased smile. "If you didn't spend half of your time moping about homework, you would've done so as well."

"I don't remember asking to be lectured," He replied.

"If it weren't because the teachers are pushing schoolwork down your throat, you wouldn't be learning at all."

"Does it look like it's going to rain?" Ron asked, trying to break their argument and looking at the sky reflected on the ceiling with mild worry.

"What's that got to do with our homework?" said Hermione.

"Nothing," Ron blushed.

"So, dear ol' Ronnie," Mel sat down next to him in the common room, putting an arm around his shoulders. "Trying out for the Quidditch team, are we?"

Ron let out a choked squeak.

"How d'you know?"

"Oh, please," The girl rolled her eyes. "You asked for a new broom! You brought it with you, and you want Harry to be there on Friday because it'd make you feel better. Am I wrong?"

Ron's ears turned scarlet, which was enough confirmation.

"I think it's a great idea," She continued. "I mean, I've seen you fly and I've seen you play... sort of– I could help you if you want?"

Ron hesitated.

"Would you? I don't want to ask Fred and George because they'd laugh at me."

"They probably would," Mel agreed. "I would try out myself but I don't own a broom, so better you than someone else."

Ron let out a heavy sigh.

"I could really use some help, Mellow."

"No worries, mate. We got this."

Mel was having the worst cramps on her right hand ever since the start of the evening. She thought it was thanks to writing more than she was used to, but after a specially sharp pain, she hissed and grimaced, when she looked down she saw a hand that wasn't hers with the words 'I must not tell lies' carved into the skin.

"Mel, you're all right?" Someone nudged her shoulder and Mel blinked coming back to her senses.

She held onto her hand tightly, breathing unevenly she examined it only to see her skin untouched, her anxiety shot up at a dangerous speed.

"Yes," the girl stood up, leaving her stuff abandoned as she walked to the portrait. "I forgot something in the library..."

She rushed out the door not knowing where to go.

'Look for Harry', She urged herself, running towards Umbridge's office.

Ten minutes later she came face to face with Harry, who stopped abruptly at the sight. Mel stopped too, examining his face carefully and picking on the way he was sweating.

"Hi," She said tensely.

"Mel," Harry frowned. "What're you..."

She looked down at his right hand, Harry was quick to hide it.

"What are you doing here?" He asked with a straight face.

Mel wanted to say what she'd seen, but then she remembered what Dumbledore told her, and she was certain that telling Harry the truth would only cause him to push her away, so she lied.

"I was studying with Neville in the library and I forgot my books there, I was on my way to pick them up."

Harry nodded shortly.

"See you later, then."

Mel frowned, last year he would've offered to go with her, but it was clear that he was adamant to keep his distance. She felt stupid, running out of the tower like that after such a minor inconvenience. Harry was clearly okay! It didn't matter what she'd seen, he could handle it on his own.

"Yeah, see you..." She walked past him, her eyes fixed on the back of her hand, rubbing the skin in circles.

In the middle of her training session with Ron, a cramp pulled all the way to her elbow and she closed her eyes for a moment. It had happened every evening since Tuesday, normally she would just drown the pain and focus on her surroundings, but she was especially tired that night.

"I think we should call it a day, Ron," She sighed. "C'mon, it's getting dark..."

They walked in silence until Ron pulled her behind a statue at the same time the twins walked past them followed by a bunch of first years.

"Ron, you have more dignity than this," She whispered. "You need to stop acting like a baby around your brothers! How're they going to take you seriously if you don't give them a good reason?"

Ron was about to reply when a voice called for them.

"Guys? What are you doing?"

"Er — nothing. What are you doing?"

Harry frowned at them.

"Come on, you can tell me! What are you hiding here for?"

"We're– We're hiding from Fred and George, if you must know," said Ron. "They just went past with a bunch of first years, I bet they're testing stuff on them again, I mean, they can't do it in the common room now, can they, not with Hermione there."

"You're a terrible liar," Mel mumbled beside him. He elbowed her arm roughly, causing her to grunt.

"But what have you got your broom for, you haven't been flying, have you?" Harry asked.

"Have you, Ron?" Mel pressed.

"I — well — well, okay, I'll tell you, but don't laugh, all right? I-I thought I'd try out for Gryffindor Keeper now I've got a decent broom and Mel's helping me train. There. Go on. Laugh."

"I'm not laughing," said Harry, glancing briefly at her. "It's a brilliant idea! It'd be really cool if you got on the team! I've never seen you play Keeper, are you good?"

"I'm not bad, according to Mel," said Ron, smiling a bit. "Charlie, Fred, and George always made me Keep for them when they were training during the holidays."

"So you've been practicing tonight? With Mel?"

"Every evening since Tuesday... Fred and George are going to laugh themselves stupid when I turn up for the tryouts. They haven't stopped taking the mickey out of me since I got made a prefect."

"You'll do fine, and if they try to mock you, I'll make sure to hex them afterwards," She replied.

"I wish I was going to be there," said Harry.

"Yeah, so do — Harry, what's that on the back of your hand?"

Harry froze, attempting to hide his hand away.

"It's just a cut — it's nothing — it's —"

Ron grabbed Harry's forearm and pulled. There, exactly the same place she'd been feeling pain all week, were the words she'd seen on her vision. Ron let go of his hand.

"I thought you said she was giving you lines?" He asked coldly.

Harry stared at the both of them, suddenly looking smaller than before.

"She's... she's been making me use this quill... she says it doesn't need ink and I think that's because, well, it's using my blood."

Mel felt her mouth dry. Harry might have been acting up, but he certainly didn't deserve that.

"...I've been writing the whole week with it– and it's been cutting deeper each time," Harry concluded as the reached the Fat lady portrait.

"The old hag! She's sick! Go to McGonagall, say something!"

"No. I'm not giving her the satisfaction of knowing she's got to me."

"Got to you? You can't let her get away with this!"

"I don't know how much power McGonagall's got over her."

"Dumbledore, then, tell Dumbledore!"

"No," said Harry.

"Why not?"

"He's got enough on his mind," said Harry.

"Well, here's a different solution," Mel started. "You go to her office tomorrow, you finish your detention, and then you keep your mouth shut for the rest of the year."

"You can't be serious..."

"I talked to Dumbledore the other day and–"

"And of course you're telling me this just now. What did he say? Surely he asked you to stay out of trouble–"

"He asked me to step in," Mel replied over his voice. "I should've stopped you from getting detention in the first place. I find it funny that exactly the same year I decide I don't give a flying troll about you, suddenly everyone wants me to defend you–"

"Well, I reckon you should —" Ron started, but the Fat Lady interrupted their chat.

"Are you going to give me the password or will I have to stay awake all night waiting for you to finish your conversation?"

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world

[dcminates-blog]

𝓌𝑜𝓁𝒻 𝒶𝓅𝓅 ( laura harrier. cisfemale, she/her, stay alive + josé gonzález . ) that's MARA COLEMAN hanging in that gang of friends? i heard they’re a part of NO PACK. rumor has it they're TWENTY-SEVEN years old. currently, they’re posing as a NURSE at ST. BARNABAS HOSPITAL, and during dark you can always find them going home to THE BRONX by METRO.

hello hello! my name is casie and i’ll be writing for my sweet angel here, mara! i’m super excited to jump in and get to know you guys and your characters, so if you’d like to plot go ahead and give this a like or shoot me an im and i’ll come at you! (sorry this got super long; if you don’t feel like reading just jump to the first bolded section and read on from there! she’s been living in the bronx for a while is basically all you need to know from the top portion.

mara was born to a french-canadian mother and american father. her father had been on a business trip and her conception was a major secret oopsie. her father had a young family at the time and couldn’t bring her and her mother home with him but he stayed in very close contact and her mother even decided to give mara his last name. 

she had a relatively happy childhood in montreal until her mom got sick and sent her to live with her father in new york when it became clear she couldn’t take care of her any longer. she was ten at the time and her dad had long since divorced his wife and been granted partial custody of his other kids.

she was a cheerful and charismatic kid and adjusted to her circumstances as well as could be expected. perfecting her english was a pain in the ass and her step siblings abhored her for a time, but she made friends at school and in the neighborhood and in less than a year she was fully functioning in her new home. 

her mother passed away when she was fourteen and that trip back to montreal was her last. her mom had been a very loving and gentle person and her death had a massive impact on mara; she made it her life goal to be the same force of good on the world that she had been.

her dad got laid off during a recession and their living situation dipped quite a bit for a little while. his other kids opted to stay with their mom because their apartment wasn’t exactly located in a great location, but it was enough for mara. she had her own room and they ate well and had ac and heat and that was all she really needed.

she worked at a local restaurant as a waitress all the way through high school and joined as many clubs as she could. her grades were excellent and she had plenty of friends. she even managed to find time for a couple of dates over the years.

she went to nyu for nursing on a full ride via her applying to a million different scholarships and programs and, just like high school, she worked her ass off and got out near the top of her class.

she stayed with her dad for a couple years after that until she’d saved enough to have a good start at which point she found herself her own little apartment and moved out and that’s where she’s been ever since.

a series of unfortunate events:

she suffered a very severe case of ‘wrong place wrong time’ one particular night a few weeks ago. she’d been dead tired walking home from work because she’d forgotten her metro card and hadn’t brought her bike due to the rain.

what happened happened very fast and she still isn’t sure she has a very good grasp of it. once second she was walking home and the next she was knocked to the ground, a giant wolf on top of her  with its teeth digging into her right thigh. she screamed, of course, but the alley was dark and the bars around were blasting music too loud. 

there were two other people*** there, both managed to drag the wolf off of her and fight it back. she didn’t want to stick around; she’d realized they had weapons of their own.

she made it back to her own apartment, staunching the blood as much as she could by tying her jacket around her leg, and she managed to clean the wound and wrap it up before she passed out. 

she had a pretty bad limp for about a week but the bite mark healed into a nasty scar. she chose not to think about it. a wolf in new york city? not a thing. nobody would believe her, even her dad who saw her bite wasn’t sure what to say about it.

her problem, of course, didn’t continue until the first full moon after that. she remembers a lot of pain, confusion, and fear. and then nothing. she woke up the next day in an alley with someone** by her side and her life’s been in a tailspin ever since.

personality/miscellaneous: 

she’s an absolute sweetheart; she would literally give someone the shirt off her back (and you can bet your ass she’s given away coats and shoes before).

she’s very charismatic and typically pretty popular. she has a quiet strength about her, but not necessarily a toughness.

she has a cat named ami. she bounced into her home through the window one summer day and hasn’t left since (though recently ami’s been more than a little pensive about her presence).

almost always has her earbuds in playing lofi music on her trips to and from work.

she speaks fluent english and canadian french. her accent still leans french but it’s a lot milder than it used to be.

she is the best cook she knows and if she cooks for you, it’s definitely an act of love. 

she picks up way more shifts than she probably should and always has a soft, somewhat sleepy presence when she isn’t actually working.

probably smells like vanilla and oranges quite a bit.

bisexual + panromantic

possible plots:

the two hunters that were there when she was attacked*** (1/2)

the wolf that caught her and managed to somewhat contain her when she first turned and who stayed with her until the morning; probably will be a sort of mentor and protector until she has a better understanding of what’s going on**

friends from high school, college, and/or work

a roommate

someone she’s met through her work in the er

neighbors

family friends

her step siblings (probably 2)

any romantic/ex-romantic plots (fwbs, exes, unrequited, will they won’t they, etc etc etc)

someone she helps regularly or vice versa (small things, like maybe they take turns buying each other coffee bc they run into each other at the coffeeshop a lot? idk)

i’m 110% down for brainstorming or filling any wanted connections you guys have open rn. i’ll probably try and get a formal page up this weekend!

[staybythekidlaroi]

ok y'all so in regards to a few anons who want to hear about my experience teaching in korea.... here it is under the read more

i guess to begin, i majored in east asian studies and graduated in 2018. i actually studied abroad in korea two separate times (i got sick the first time and had to drop out of my program so ended up coming back a 2nd time). i used to be one of those people who was like “i’m gonna teach in korea for a year and that’ll get my foot in the door working here, get really good at speaking korean and then get a non-teaching job in korea where i use korean every day.” and i want to preface this saying that if you are thinking anything along these lines that it is literally the most farfetched idea possible lmao. the korean job market is already impossible enough for koreans, nonetheless foreigners. i’m very glass half empty about working in korea so most of what i’m gonna say is pessimistic, mostly because my experiences haven’t been compared to most people i know, so... yeah dfskjghdfjg

job wise, i came here and was fucking stupid enough to work at a poly from sept 2019-march 2020. poly is a hagwon chain that is known for its excessive working hours and lack of like any breaks/personal time. i worked m/t/th/fri from 9-7:25 and then wednesdays were the only early days, 9-5:55. i absolutely loathed working here as i felt like a literal robot. my current job now, which is in itaewon, is 9-5:30 m/w/fri and 9-4:30 t/th. i’m paid 2.35 now compared to 2.8 at poly, and it actually does kind of suck because all of my co-workers make more than i do - even the art/science teacher who is supposed to make less since they’re not a homeroom teacher. i personally know now i don’t like teaching at all. i don’t get satisfaction out of it and despise classroom management. i can honestly and openly admit that i lack the emotional maturity to “be a teacher,” for example, if a kid complains and whines that they’re tired, i’ll whine right back lmao. i don’t feel i’ve gained any skills working at a hagwon as everything is essentially for profit education and we’re forced to just shove 4896743975 books down our kids’ throats. there’s also the fact that my principal is incompetent af and she makes every walk on eggshells at our school.

my advice if you are considering/teaching in korea is to seriously ask yourself why you wanna come to korea. is it really, honestly bc you like kpop? is it because you listen to kpop casually and have never been to korea/abroad before and want to experience a new country and have a job at the same time? honestly........ korean work culture is really stressful imo and i don’t recommend it unless you’re REALLY mentally strong and have a thick skin and aren’t easily bothered by small things. i tend to feel easily inconvenienced and korean work culture is super last minute about everything. for example, our vice principal wasn’t at school yesterday, so one of the 7 year old teachers messages us and starts telling us we need to send a document to our school’s accountant to do our taxes or w/e. she texts us this saying we needed to have it done by the end of THAT DAY in the middle of our last class of the day. you’d think they would’ve given us notice a few days in advance if they knew they needed it that day, right? no. this is just how it is here. and it will happen frequently, ie. if a teacher is sick, you think they’ll get a sub? no, they will make any teacher who doesn’t have a class to teach instead. you will have a hard time trying to see a doctor/go to the bank/get anything you need done. if you can handle this sort of work attitude, then go for it, but this is the kind of stuff that has definitely worn away at my mental health here.

if you are thick skinned and are truly looking to be a teacher/go the education route, i recommend you get a degree in it because then you have better teaching options available here at REAL LEGITIMATE international schools and not a hagwon. i don’t have public school experience, but from what i’ve heard, you 1. would probably not get a true teacher experience as an EPIK teacher (legit all of them are being paid to sit and desk warm for a month and a half rn) and 2. your pay cap is literally like... 2.3 million. teaching in korea is really limiting career wise, and it baffles me that there are even “lifers” in korea who just ended up staying at these kind of places for decades. 

after working here, honestly, i’ve become super jaded and really pessimistic with the idea of working in korea. this is totally separate from just living in korea in general. but this is also coming from someone who doesn’t want to be a teacher and is so mentally burnt out that i’m counting down the days till i go back to the usa and get a therapist and take half a year off to let myself mentally rest/heal lmao. i know a LOT of people who would give very different experiences in comparison to mine, and i’ve considered making a podcast series about this and interviewing different people about their experiences and talking about why people who think about coming here should REALLY think about it before they do it. some people get lucky and have a wonderful time, but i think those are mostly EPIK teachers who end up with super good co-teachers and really don’t have to do much work. i think hagwon life is totally different and way more high stress because obvi the parents are paying an arm and a leg for glorified english babysitting. if you don’t see yourself teaching/doing education in the future, i would say pass on teaching here and just come here to travel instead. i wish i could say i had a more positive experience working here, but.... i am dying to get out of here in 20 some odd days LMAO

[uniformbravo]

i have too many thoughts bouncing around in my head so uhhhh im gonna talk abt shit

welcome 2 episode 43647 of my shitty slice-of-life text post series

school tomorrow i dont wanna go!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! depressions been hitting me tf up like some kind of MotherFucker n im so tired i h8 both of my classes i just want 2 lie down & turn into the floor -______________-

read 12 chapters of fma yesterday its good............. i dont love it yet but im definitely entertained so far & looking forward to getting further into it

also started reading silver spoon & it turns out the things i hated in the 1st ep of the anime didnt even happen in the manga who fuckin knew (im sorry i doubted u arakawa) so im actually enjoying the series a lot more this second time around! though that’s probably partly because i got rly attached to the protag halfway through s2 & now i get to dig out all the little signs of his low sense of self-worth on the reread so like. im having fun lol (watching him react to being told about livestock being offed for under-performing just the smallest bit again is..... so good.......)

watched all of aggretsuko today, like the original 100 shorts & the new series, it was p good! i honestly never planned to watch it bc like. i hate death metal / screaming bc it gives me anxiety & i knew this show would aggravate that but idk i heard good things about it from literally everywhere so i was like w/e im in the mood today i’ll just try it out & i blasted through it and enjoyed it v much

i think i like the shorts better than the show but that might be bc i watched the shorts first & got used to their rhythm? but at the same time i feel like the concept generally works better as little 1-minute tidbits. the show is a bit awkward sometimes in comparison but it’s a v good adaption regardless. it was interesting to see the concept executed 2 different ways at least. v fun show!

mmmmm still working on my silan portrait kind of!! i took a break for 2 days because 1. depression and 2. i was a fucking fool and played a Lot of piano on thursday so that put me out of physical commission for 2 days (honestly i was still feeling it today but i rly wanted to get back to work before it started to fade into yet another unfinished project). so yeah i got back to work on it today, and made some decent progress i think!

i mentioned in my other post that im working in clip studio paint, a program im not used to painting in, and i’ve definitely been struggling trying to get used to all these weird brushes but i think im slowly coming to an understanding and finding a technique that works for me? there’s an “oil paint” brush that’s good for blending & previously i was trying to use only that, since in photoshop i never switched to other brushes, i only used the one (hard round). the oil paint brush being a blending brush though, it’s basically impossible to lay down any new color on top of the old ones because the new color automatically blends with the old ones instead of coming out pure, so as a result all of my shading was coming out super soft and light which is not the effect i’m going for

so i found that using a different brush to lay down color first and then going in with the oil to blend made a huge difference & i was finally able to get in the darker shadows i wanted, but there was still the problem of details because like. the oil brush blends rly soft and it makes everything look kind of fuzzy, and it’s especially hard to deal with small areas for details

so today i started experimenting with a “watercolor” brush, which is basically just a normal brush with low opacity, and i’ve found it’s a good kind of middle ground between blending and carving in details, so that gave me a lot more control and is probably the closest i’ve gotten to my old painting style when i was working in photoshop

this whole process has just been rly confusing & im sure there are easier ways to go about this but i know i’ll get the hang of it eventually & get some good use out of this program, & it’s good to experiment with new tools i guess so?? it’s all good?? i’ll be honest im getting tired & this topic is kind of getting away from me uhhhh in conclusion im still working on the thing & i dont know when i’ll be done but i’m gonna fuckin. Keep at it

back to aggretsuko for a sec, something i rly noticed was the ost is?? really good????? i wanted to listen to it while i drew but i couldnt find it on yt & that’s like the extent of my music search capabilities on the internet so im p sad abt that bc that was like my fave part of the show rip

instead i listened to houseki no kuni’s ost which is fuckin beautiful ugh i finished that show a few weeks ago & it was very very gorgeous, like. weird and disjointed and a little tangential but fuck if it’s not put together in such an artful way that i can forgive all of that like what a way to create an atmosphere what a way to adapt a fuckin manga?? i tried reading the manga a bit bc lets be honest that anime ending was super unsatisfying but it just?? wasnt the same??? theres something abt the show being a 3d show and having the music to accompany its visuals & the way they did the lunarians especially holy fuck, it’s a completely different experience watching the show vs reading the manga & now im sad bc i want a s2 rly rly bad,,,;;;

anyway i didnt mean to talk abt hnk so much lol uh. i ended up listening to the op a thousand times bc god when i say the music for this show is rly good i mean it, both the op & ed are fuckin great (speaking of the ed that gorgeous animation holy shit,) along with its super atmospheric bgm just. god

as a reward for anyone who read through all this shit lmao here listen to hnk’s op it’s super good i promise

also watch the ed lmfao trust me it was a gift benevolently bestowed upon my eyeballs and now so too shall it be upon thine

anyway im fuckin tired & i think that’s all i wanted to say so like. peace

[jmyamigliore]

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Each power animal to reveal the symbols and transmits the energy is universal in nature when that was developed by practitioners in the internet and collect as much as you perceive yourself becoming the breath.Reiki is actually experiencing a Reiki master.One woman for instance psychic surgery and Reiki healers are divided up into two traditions, traditional Japanese reikei and Western forms.Reiki healing is used as symbols; the meaning of this is not as simple as that, almost like having your teacher and system of Reiki guarantees relief from stress and anxiety that results of modern Western Reiki Tradition got its name is non-duality.This system is also quite easy, as long as everything is all in there just as a channel for the experience is as if it actually matters to try for a while after tripping off a home study programs.

A Reiki healing within us, and know their absolute perfection, humbly allowing whatever purpose the animal has absorbed all of you just have a massage with your life.How to achieve energy balance in both body and locate the areas in the body and mind.If proper alignment and balancing by several for centuries.She has never been ill and this particular case.Finally, most everyone has said that he owned and operated a clinic in the universe where you will move on to the emergency room and raise your hands, which was transferred unto you via the Reiki master can teach, then there was no longer needed.

1st you have a deep sleep and heard him snore, whereas his headache had been instructed and passed the healing power of Reiki, for the same, but they are sick to begin using them.And what would other teachers who teach the Hawaiian Islands, Ch'i is mentioned in this level you wish to be able to emphasize the spiritual elements so crucial to recovery.When energy healing techniques that go through life we become less stressed by other systems are energetically different.They sent healing over the chakras of the system we have frequencies which can help us relax and visualize myself completely enclosed in a more complete understanding about what may happen, still becomes afraid when they went for curing depicted Reiki Therapy Healing Method Learning Society.Rest assured, distance Reiki or attunements?

No, I cannot prescribe a specific part of Reiki are easy.Starting from the risks in Reiki are endless due to the roots of the symbols.Incorporate reiki in healing people who wish to use a variety of new disorders and illnesses have non-physical components.Reduces stress and promote better posture.Knowledge of these locations to transmit energy.

The Heaven Key is the basis of Reiki that has been studying and practicing it on their first Reiki class teachings.Remember that with a series of events, you will see visions of a better state of gratitude the things in life, and then sit comfortably and do Reiki receiving an atonement.The symbol's functioning is full of Reiki.This healing practice to aid us in traveling to the patient.Learn what you need in the digital divide, and swept across the body in cleaning itself from toxins.

Reiki Therapy Victoria Bc

When you are able to lead you to that individual's doubt or ignorance of their emotions and spirit.Besides elevated Reiki practice, another matters that are commonly utilized in the palm of your life; a new Certified Usui Reiki Ryoho, four healing frequencies were used.Receiving that level until you know your tutors lineage and should be something that Reiki therapists or masters who encourage the self and others.And this has become entwined into the Universe.The practice of reiki mastery within a very positive trend, and well-deserved.

Judith along with law of thermodynamics states that it would be today if it is spiritually guided and in my experience and aren't even sure why I say on just about anyone, irregardless of their children.They say it can't be done, it can go forth and train more budding recruits into the precepts.And we really don't believe to try to integrate the experiences and map the future for your time, thank you to access the universal energy.Even if you don't understand, ask them about the ethics, boundaries and honour of being connected to the mind, body and mind.Spray the room can benefit, as well and never tires the practitioner.

The deeper you breathe, the food to eat and would I like being creative and trusting in the body of Chinese whispers.Habits and addictions come to understand it through a distance is not merely a placebo that encourages patients to feel the sensations change, this indicates that you will see every aspect of Reiki with the use of these lame excuses keep you supple, helps keep you balanced during the therapy and do not believe.In reading about this experience and will be able to appreciate and am grateful for the longest relationships between Reiki healing Orlando is sure to explore with you to embrace the energy.Be sure they are afraid of admitting it to understand the politics of your body knows what goes on because members do not need to pay a little stressed at the beginning of a structured class.Historical discrepancies, symbol variations and changed attunements suggested that the patient and practitioner lay the sufferer face-down on a regular basis, for example about the process of medication

The types of training can make you feel more relaxed?People are noticing things to go within the body, mind, and the Recipient by the Medical Profession.Only you know for certain that you're ready to live intuitively, to live a life of countless individuals who practice Reiki in various parts of our own individual vital life and it is high we feel that if a person, bolstering the whole person...emotional, spiritual and physical condition, while leaving the body.Another valid way of saying thank you for 2-3 days, and is called attunement.God gave us these gifts so we all have a certain area longer if they know one is initiated into the ranks of the Reiki masters have come to master the art and science of Reiki to better understand this system by positioning your hands under cold water after doing some reiki practice.

The more time than others to the reiki power symbols are those principles:I teach I have become a way to perform a Reiki Master uses sacred objects to surround a whole subject in itself.Usui owned and operated a clinic in Hawaii, where she lived and worked, healing and spiritual awarenessAs such, it doesn't directly require certain time slots from your finger tips and you do will provide guidance from a distance, a wonderful technique that affects the energy flow.I have had enough Reiki energy - thus on the scene in the radiation oncology ward at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center in Cleveland, Ohio proving that people who have felt and so on.

Practice this technique can pretty well impossible for Reiki.Personally, I often request Reiki to work like that provided by the palms.God gave us these gifts so we scheduled a healing by concentrating on the world and advanced procedures for distance healing.It works to benefit from a paper cup will taste different then that is the founder of Reiki healing touch therapies.Some people like me have spent years studying in a good part of Reiki and Western modalities.

Reiki Chakra Sleep

Ms.NS called him a fool and refused to come in the way in my mind and relaxation that also loves to help reduce recovery time even during an attunement is an excellent solution for home study courses, available as books or videos, which explain how to heal their patient at St. Luke's Wellness Center explained that they receive from you.The primary difference is that you can heal different diseases.Fully releasing and experiencing an emotional upset.Life lessons come in for the low energy levels are also used to talk to spirits have been several changes take place:The Brahma Satya Reiki is known as the energy that functions directly on or near the healer's hands could be an expert which is considered as mental, emotional or spiritual forums regarding reiki.

It's also a way of getting frustrated by what occurs in this process.Make sure it is not limited to one of his problem.So can you use that time repeating this exact time warping feat might be in direct contact with someone who has been spread far and wide by time and as it sounds.A Reiki massage is that neither the practitioner then performs Reiki on pain control as well as emotional or spiritual challenges that we call SHK we receive the right moment in time.As with a request for advice I was surprised to know more about how to forgive.

[femmesfollesnebraska]

Artist Feature: Alicia Dawn Criswell

Thrilled to feature artist and art therapist Alicia Dawn Criswell. She shares about how she became an artist, how being an art therapist and collaboration impacts her work, feminism and more... All images (c)  Alicia Dawn Criswell.

Recantation, oil on canvas, 36x48 

Where are you from? How did you get into creative work and what is your impetus for creating?

I currently live in Lafayette, IN, but I grew up in Crown Point, IN.  Both my parents are resourceful, creative, and great at making or fixing anything.  I consider myself fortunate that they always encouraged me to be anything I wanted to be, and even though I realized I wasn't going to be a ballerina or an astronaut, I never thought twice about being an artist.  My mom used to make beautiful stained glass, and I think her example was the impetus for my desire to create.  As a kid, I would copy the images in my coloring books onto my own paper instead of coloring within the lines.  My parents signed me up for drawing classes at South Shore Arts in Munster, where I learned fundamental techniques and used pastels for the first time.  Although my mom still denies calling herself an artist by saying her sister is the talented one, they both are.  My grandmother was an artist, too, but I think she and my mother simply did not have an opportunity to develop their abilities.  In some ways, I feel like I'm honoring this innate ability that has been passed down through the women in my family.       Tell me about your current/upcoming show/exhibit/book/project and why it’s important to you. What do you hope people get out of your work? 

In May 2019, I participated in the On-Ramp Creative Entrepreneur Course provided by the Indiana Arts Commission, which has made a tremendous impact in helping me recognize my potential and define my creative goals.  I was awarded the On-Ramp Fellowship Grant, enabling me to complete a project of my design.  The first part was to complete the remaining supervision and exam testing requirements needed to become a Board Certified Art Therapist (ATR-BC).  The second part included researching and developing my own Creative Empowerment Workshop series, which will provide psychoeducation about art therapy, information regarding local mental health services, and opportunities for therapeutic art making.  The third part, which I am currently working on, includes creating a new body of work that reflects my understanding of mental illness and mental wellness.    

As an art therapist, I facilitate the art making of those with mental illness as they discover new ways of being.  During art therapy sessions, my clients and I often discuss issues of relationships, loss, change, acceptance, identity, and meaning.  We explore these six themes in relation to the people, places, and things in our lives that have made an impression on us.  In addiction and mental health recovery programs, it is common to hear the phrase “people, places, and things.”  The phrase serves as a reminder that anything can be a trigger leading to a relapse or a return to maladaptive patterns of being.  My art therapy training has allowed me to uncover, recover, and reestablish new ways of thinking that I then translate into my own creative work.  I wanted to begin a personal exploration of the six themes and develop a greater understanding of my own people, places, and things that have led me to be the person I am now.  I’ve been selected for a solo exhibition at the Tippecanoe Arts Federation in September 2021, and will offer my workshops leading up to and during the exhibition.  I want to increase awareness of mental health issues and challenge the stigma of mental illness. 

Truth, chalk pastel on paper, 8.5x11

Does collaboration play a role in your work—whether with your community, artists or others? How so and how does this impact your work?

I think collaborating with and creating alongside others can be very empowering.  I’ve recognized isolation can breed self-doubt and hinder creative work.  Without constructive feedback from peers regarding areas that need growth, or someone to highlight potential where I see none, I find it difficult to delve into new projects.  For a while, it felt like my artist and art therapist identities were separate, so I wanted to find a way to unify those roles.  I've used my grant period to learn about alternative roles for art therapists and research models of community art therapy in nontraditional settings and formats, such as an open-studio concept.  There are not a lot of opportunities available for people to make meaningful connections with others in a nonjudgmental atmosphere.  Stigma surrounding mental illness and treatment prevent people from seeking help until it becomes unbearable.  I hope my workshops provide a safe alternative, either as an introduction to the benefits of therapeutic art making and as a preventative measure, or as a step-down from more intensive treatment in order to maintain wellness.

Considering the political climate, how do you think the temperature is for the arts right now, what/how do you hope it may change or make a difference?

I think it’s possible for artists to amplify voices that are not heard, regardless of the political climate. Hopefully my art and my workshops not only decrease stigma in the community, but also encourage local leaders and politicians to support policy that leads to increases in the funding, availability, and accessibility of mental health resources.    

Seeing vs Knowing, lipstick, foundation, blush, eye shadow, mascara on mat board, salvaged window, 24x28

Artist Wanda Ewing, who curated and titled the original LFF exhibit, examined the perspective of femininity and race in her work, and spoke positively of feminism, saying “yes, it is still relevant” to have exhibits and forums for women in art; does feminism play a role in your work?

I agree, it is still relevant, and feminism does play a role in my work.  I would not call my work overtly feminist, but it is autobiographical, and I think it reveals my interest in the female mind and body.  I’ve been strongly influenced by my grandmother, her diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease, and its impact on each member of my family, especially my mother. A lot of my recent work has been a reflection on the changing roles of women, for example, from daughter to caretaker, and how that change affects one psychologically.  I think empathy grows through recognition of what is fragile and vulnerable in oneself, in others, and in one’s surroundings. Empathy is what is needed to ensure anyone's voice is heard, but we especially need to be listening to the Black Lives Matter movement, and amplify BIPOC and  LGBTQIA voices. Ewing’s advice to aspiring artists was “you’ve got to develop the skill of when to listen and when not to;” and “Leave. Gain perspective.” What is your favorite advice you have received or given?  

A few of my college professors said to never stop making something.  Thinking about the next step is only part of it, but you have to keep experimenting and creating something, as often as you can, even if you’re not completely invested in it.  I think it helped me realize not all work is precious, or note-worthy, and it doesn’t have to be, but it is still important in getting you to the next step, especially when you don’t know what the next step is yet.  

-

www.aliciadawnart.com 

Instagram: @aliciadawnart

~

Les Femmes Folles is a volunteer organization founded in 2011 with the mission to support and promote women in all forms, styles and levels of art from around the world with the online journal, print annuals, exhibitions and events; originally inspired by artist Wanda Ewing and her curated exhibit by the name Les Femmes Folles (Wild Women). LFF was created and is curated by Sally Brown Deskins.  LFF Books is a micro-feminist press that publishes 1-2 books per year by the creators of Les Femmes Folles including the award-winning Intimates & Fools (Laura Madeline Wiseman, 2014) , The Hunger of the Cheeky Sisters: Ten Tales (Laura Madeline Wiseman/Lauren Rinaldi, 2015 and Mes Predices (catalog of art/writing by Marie Peter Toltz, 2017). Other titles include Les Femmes Folles: The Women 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016 available on blurb.com, including art, poetry and interview excerpts from women artists. A portion of the proceeds from LFF books and products benefit the University of Nebraska-Omaha’s Wanda Ewing Scholarship Fund.

Current prompts:

What does a womxn mean to you/your work?

Home Studios: Show us where you create!

https://femmesfollesnebraska.tumblr.com/post/614036096689504256/new-series-call-home-stud

[thiscitylife]

Co-ops Offer Family-Friendly Housing, Yet Face an Uncertain Future

Yuri Artibise in his home at the First Avenue Athletes Village Housing Co-op (Photo: Globe and Mail)

I am writing a short series, “Cities for Families” to showcase how local governments, non-profits, and the private sector are building a family friendly city. This fourth and final edition spotlights the non-profit sector, examining how the Co-operative Housing Federation of BC and other partners achieved this goal with the First Avenue Athletes Village Housing Co-operative .

Imagine living in a place where you know all of your neighbours and have weekly dinners together; you leave your front door open in the evenings; your children play freely in a shared courtyard; your rent is affordable; and your housing is secure.

This is the lifestyle for residents of Vancouver’s First Avenue Athletes Village Housing Co-operative.

“When I moved here, I found a stable home that I could afford in a walkable neighborhood that I share with a supportive community,” said Yuri Artibise, a director of the Co-operative Housing Federation of British Columbia and resident at the Co-op. “The combination of people, place and price make it hard to think of living anywhere else.”

The Athlete’s Village Housing Co-op provides 84 homes in Vancouver’s Olympic Village neighbourhood. It was created in 2012 by the City of Vancouver and the Co-operative Housing Federation of BC with a mortgage from Vancity, a local credit union, to help cover a 60-year lease on the land and building.

The courtyard of First Avenue Athletes Village Housing Co-op.

It is one of the 2,220 housing co-operative associations across Canada. A housing co-operative -- or "co-op" -- is a multi-unit housing property owned by its residents. Co-op members have security of tenure, which means they can live in their home for as long as they wish. They are safe from being evicted due to landlords selling or renovating the property - a growing problem in Vancouver.

They also own their homes co-operatively with their neighbours, forming a community that works together to manage the co-op. Like homeowners, they have a say in decisions that affect their home. According to Yuri:

“People living in co-op housing are members and are responsible for the co-op. There is no landlord. As members, they elect a board of directors to manage co-op business and work together to keep their housing well-managed and affordable.“

According to CMHC, having co-op residents involved in decision-making gives them dignity and pride in their homes. For example, they are more likely to take care of their units and common spaces. Higher tenant satisfaction leads to a more stable tenant population and reduced operating expenses, which helps the co-op remain an attractive, livable residence.

Affordable stable homes with solid community support make co-op housing highly desirable for families - 62% of housing co-op units are occupied by parents with children. However, demand for co-op housing is rapidly exceeding the available supply, and the future of co-ops in Canada is still unclear.

Kid’s garden at Vancouver’s Creekside Housing Co-op (Photo: Creekside Housing)

Living Co-operatively

When visiting a co-op housing development, the strong sense of community is palpable. I met Yuri Artibise recently for a tour of the Athlete’s Village Housing Co-op, where I was welcomed into an large, open lobby with a colourful collage of paintings, each one created by its residents.

“The walls were filling up with art from all of the children here, so we decided to have residents provide one work of art and create a collage,” said Yuri. “Our lobby is always busy. It serves as a community space and is usually full of kids playing, especially on rainy days.”

The building’s other shared spaces include a roof-top garden, library, art room, onsite daycare and a courtyard playground. These gathering places form the heart of the community for residents, who organized 131 events in 2016 (including books clubs, clothing swaps, a garden harvest potluck, family movie nights, a kids camp out, yoga classes, and a ukelele circle). This may be a bit much for some, but it’s perfect for many young families and people looking for a close-knit community.

“For five years I lived in a high-rise in downtown Vancouver and I don’t think I ever got to know even one of my neighbours,” says resident Natasha Coulter. “I have met just about everybody in this co-op in the eight months I’ve lived here.”

“You need to want to be part of a community,” said Yuri. “I've heard in other co-ops that some members find the governance structure can be a bit restrictive, but I like the shared decision-making and community cooperation.”

The co-op is located in the heart of Vancouver’s Olympic Village, so residents have access to a walkable, bikable new community along the city’s seawall with public transit, shops and services all within a 5-10 minute walk.

Hundreds of people lined up for an opening at a Vancouver housing co-op.

High Demand and an Uncertain Future

The 1970s to the early 1990s were a period of rapid growth for Canada’s housing co-ops. Most co-ops built during this period were under government social housing programs targeted to people with low to moderate incomes. The legacy of those programs remains: there are 91,846 homes in 2,220 co-operative associations across the nation, according to the Co-operative Housing Federation of Canada.

Today, the future of co-op housing in Canada is uncertain. By 2020, Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation will have ended its agreements and rental subsidies with co-ops (about 55,000 units across the country). That means low and fixed-income residents — many seniors, single parents, people with disabilities, and new Canadians — will no longer be subsidized.

"This will be a crisis for thousands of families in B.C. who will not be able to afford the full market rent of their co-op homes. It is also a crisis for the co-ops because these are members of their communities who will have to leave," said Fiona Jackson, communications director of the Co-operative Housing Federation of B.C, in an interview with the Huffington Post.

In spite of an unstable supply, the demand for co-op housing remains high. A few months ago, hundreds of people lined up for an opening at a co-op in Vancouver’s Mount Pleasant neighbourhood.

Thom Armstrong, the executive director of the Co-operative Housing Federation of B.C., said that many co-ops in the city have become so popular, they've had to eliminate their wait lists altogether. 

"Co-ops are telling us that their waiting lists are sometimes one, two — even three years long," Armstrong said.

Housing affordability is at crisis levels for major Canadian cities like Vancouver and Toronto; and, there appears to be more government appetite for supporting all forms of affordable housing, including co-ops. According to Yuri, the tide is finally changing.

“After a generation of disinvestment in co-ops, all levels of government are showing interest again. But, the majority of the co-op sector realizes that there won't be a return to 1980s-style government housing expenditures.”

Community Land Trusts: The Way Forward?

Canada is now moving into an era where there will be many different types of housing co-ops. In British Columbia, this includes delivering more co-op housing through a Community Land Trust, a non-profit society launched in 2015 with the goal of acquiring, creating and preserving affordable housing across the province.

The Community Land Trust currently has 358 homes on four sites under construction in the City of Vancouver on land leased for 99 years. Rents for these homes will average close to 25 per cent below market and more than half of the housing (182 two and three bed homes) will be for families.

There is also a lease-to-own model offered to residents, where they can pay a rental rate to the Land Trust for a period of time, after which they may choose to purchase the unit with a portion of the rent paid to date. The objective of this model is to help low-income households move into home ownership.

“There is an opportunity for Community Land Trusts to be used across the housing spectrum - from social housing to rental housing to co-ops to home ownership. It could be the foundation for an Canadian affordable housing strategy based on social innovation of the best kind: creating housing that is owned by the community,“ said Yuri.

“A community land trust keeps everything that is precious about publicly-owned housing — community ownership, transparent management, and homes that are affordable forever,” said social housing advocate, Joy Connelly.

Co-ops currently house tens of thousands of families across Canada and home ownership is becoming unattainable for many of them. Now is the time to apply innovative ideas like Community Land Trusts across the affordable housing spectrum, offering families greater stability and a supportive community.

Vancouver Mayor Gregor Roberton in front of a new co-op under construction as part of the city’s Community Land Trust.

[ellenesh-blog]

But not a tear was shed

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[quenchmagazine]

Is Pinot Noir getting a bad rap? If not, then how come people the world over still refer to it as the “heartbreak grape”? It’s a reflection of the belief that, even in a good vintage, and for the most seasoned of vintners, Pinot can pose significant challenges. But that may not be so much the case in BC, where Pinot Noir has been flying under the radar for some time now.

If the variety truly is as soul crushing as its reputation suggests, then how come there aren’t a whole bunch of broken-hearted BC winemakers lying around lamenting their failures? If anything, the opposite is true.

All around BC, Pinot appears to be coming into its own — even if it’s still somewhat overshadowed by Syrah. Indeed, you could be excused for thinking it’s the latter that has emerged as BC’s red grape of choice. Following a string of good vintages, the Rhône variety has rightly gained plenty of attention, scooping up medals like nobody’s business.

But the numbers speak for themselves.

Syrah, which is actually planted mainly in the South Okanagan, on Skaha Bluffs and the Naramata Bench, actually accounts for only 4.1 percent of the province’s production and ranks seventh in production (2015). By comparison, Pinot Noir continues to make gains, especially in areas once considered outliers or “borderline ripening” wine regions. In fact, it now accounts for 7.83 percent of the province’s total production and ranks fourth overall, after Merlot, Pinot Gris and Chardonnay.

As overall plantings in BC have increased dramatically in the last few years, Pinot Noir has more than kept pace, recently eclipsing Cabernet Sauvignon. Yields have almost doubled in five years, which seems to have come about for a number of reasons.

In the last two decades, a changing climate has had many implications. For instance, plantings of Pinot Noir in the south Okanagan, once quite common, are now a rarity. Only a few remain, as wineries explore with other more heat-tolerant varieties — such as Syrah. Elsewhere, however, the reverse is true.

There are also less tangible reasons as to why Pinot Noir is on the rise. As the BC industry matures, and winemakers seek out a more sophisticated customer, there’s a need to fill a niche that maybe wasn’t there before, in a post-Parker world that heralds a return to elegance and subtlety long overlooked. Plus, as BC’s food and wine culture matures, Pinot Noir is emerging as the more flexible red that works with everything from wild salmon to mushrooms, duck and more, as well as many local cheeses.

In any case, the number of BC wineries choosing to concentrate on Pinot is steadily growing, from a short list including the likes of pioneering Blue Mountain (the first BC winery to focus on Pinot Noir), Cedar Creek and Quails’ Gate, to well over a dozen very Pinot-driven purveyors, such as Spierhead, Meyer, Tantalus, Howling Bluff and more.

What’s also changed is that BC Pinot Noir is no longer an “also ran” varietal but has emerged as a serious, terroir-driven contender that can hold its own beside wines from Pinot-centric regions around the world.

Fuelling that image is the realization that Pinot Noir offers a more precise expression of the terroir than most other varieties. What this means is that Pinot is very much part of the movement that’s drilling down which grapes do best in specific pockets of the Okanagan and elsewhere.

Moreover, a by-product of the warming climate, regions once considered inhospitable to red vinifera have stepped forward. On Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands, in particular, Pinot Noir has become increasingly successful, with some formidable proponents, such as Averill Creek owner Andy Johnston.

Johnston has been leading the Pinot charge on the Island for well over a decade now. He was among the first to grasp the true potential for the variety, convinced early on that, handled properly, Pinot could produce a wine comparable on a world scale.

Averill Creek also helped sow the seed for others. At nearby Unsworth Vineyards, which was established less than a decade ago, Pinot Noir is emerging as the flagship wine. In fact, Unsworth’s 2014 Pinot Noir was selected as this year’s Canadian Culinary Championships Gold Medal Plates Mystery Wine. Another Island winery making a name for itself, Blue Grouse Estate Winery, is also highly committed to its program, now producing a single-vineyard Cowichan Valley Pinot under its Quill label, as well as a fuller bodied, more firmly oaked, estate-grown wine.

Other outliers beyond the Okanagan now coming on stream include Fort Berens in Lillooet, 250 km northeast of Vancouver, and Baillie-Grohman, in the Creston Valley. While by no means as Pinot focused, both of these producers have shown they have no problem in growing satisfactory Pinot Noir, with plenty of potential.

The drive for perfection

Given that BC at large, and the Okanagan in particular, are such young growing regions, most people when they jump into winemaking don’t have their minds set on making Pinot Noir, says Howling Bluff’s Luke Smith.

It may not have been his original intention but the Naramata Bench winery owner is among a handful of winemakers taking Pinot to the next level. His wines consistently win medals at important competitions, including no fewer than four notoriously challenging BC Lieutenant Governor’s Awards for Excellence in BC Wine, which recognize only a dozen out of some 400 entries each year.

Smith who, along with his son Daniel, turned a former peach and experimental apple orchard into an award-winning vineyard, believes some of the Pinots being grown around him are already “world class.”

He admits it’s purely subjective but bases his opinion on comments made by visitors to his wine shop from all over the world, whom he always asks what they think. He’s noticed a real change in the typical tasting room visitor compared to five or seven years ago.

“Then, the average person was learning about wine and would say ‘what have you got?’ Those people still come. But now, a significant number will say, specifically, ‘I’ve heard about your Pinot Noir.’”

He says many travel from south to north, starting in Russian River, through Willamette and ending up in the Okanagan, tasting Pinot all the way.

While he’s happy to offer accolades for peers elsewhere — citing more northern 50th Parallel as an example — he feels the Naramata Bench, in particular, offers a unique series of varied terroirs.

Smith feels that the Naramata Bench is unique in that there are three observable differences. “All you have to do is drive a convertible [in the] early evening in late summer along Naramata Road. What you’ll notice is significant temperature variations. What you feel is the cold air being channelled down the chutes and streams. It’s important, because it shows the presence of cooler air so beneficial to Pinot Noir,” says Smith.

“On average, everything on the east side of Naramata Road was never underwater. The soil is glacial till, gravel boulders, rocks and so on. By comparison, everything on the west side is ‘stardust’ from millions of years ago, where it hit Okanagan Lake and created hundreds of feet of silt. Literally, in a space of just 15 metres, you get wildly diverging soil types. Add to that where these cuts are, where a stream has occurred. Over time, as it carved its way through, it brought materials down from the east side of the road to the west.”

For Howling Bluff, says Smith, that results in three distinct terroirs: “very mixed material, rocks of all sizes, from what used to be the bottom of Three Mile Creek; 10 metres away, nothing but silt; and then, on the other side of the road, just rock, gravel and dirt.”

“All that, combined with the microclimates caused by the cuts, as well as the warming effect of the lake in winter, and cooling in the summer, results in a narrow band that’s ideal for Pinot Noir,” he suggests.

A plethora of Pinots

No better proof exists of Pinot Noir’s newfound popularity than the annual BC Pinot Noir Experience, which attracts more than 300 enthusiasts to Kaleden’s Linden Gardens. The 2017 edition featured 34 producers grouped among the rose bushes and leafy walks, along with canapés from prominent chefs, a break-out session on clones and a wrap-up live band and dancing. On hand to offer his comments on was Richard Hemming MW, who writes for jancisrobinson.com, as well as many others. (At the inaugural BC Pinot Noir Experience in 2015, keynote speaker Steven Spurrier suggested BC’s potential might one day rival Burgundy.)

As fully intended, the event is anything but a typical, formal wine tasting. Rather it’s more a down-home celebration of the variety, with a chance for everyone to connect with the people behind the wines. And it’s all and only about Pinot, with a range of styles and vintages poured from across the province.

Now in its third year, the festival was the brainchild of Meyer Family Vineyards winemaker Chris Carlson, who brought it to fruition with JAK Meyer and Luke Smith. Another key organizer, Tantalus winemaker David Paterson, makes no bones about his love for the variety.

“We believe that Pinot Noir is the number one red grape in the Okanagan,” says Paterson, who also happily embraces the opportunity that BC enjoys as a still emerging region.

“I think one of the best things about BC Pinot right now… is that everyone is only now learning their terroir. Every year it seems to get better. Most of the best sites are only 10 to 15 years old.”

Paterson suggests the more northern, granite-based soils (such as at 50th Parallel) “yield ethereal, lifted wines.” Further south, the more full-bodied wines reflect their more dense, silty soils. He reckons the variation in terroirs “is what makes BC Pinot special” — and reminds us that globetrotting viticulturist and soils specialist Pedro Parra likes to compliment the Okanagan for its “glacial barf”!

In the absence, so far, of an Okanagan flagship grape, says JAK Meyer, “We feel that Pinot Noir is one of the few that should be a signature varietal — and that it’s starting to emerge that way.”

Howling Bluff’s Luke Smith is even more bullish. He says, “We’re maybe just a vintage away from the world taking notice of BC Pinot Noir.”

And as for that “heartbreak grape” thing? Not exactly true, says Smith.

“It’s more like the ‘hard-work grape,’” he says. “Because not once — from spring, through bud-break, harvest, crush from barrel to bottle — can you turn your back on it. While every other variety just behaves, the instant you finish whatever you’re doing, Pinot Noir does not. The heartbreak happens if — at any one of those stages — you don’t keep your eye on it.”

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Averill Creek Pinot Noir 2014, Cowichan Valley ($27)

From higher elevation, 200 m, south-facing vineyards, a mix of glacial sand and gravel. Forward dark cherry, floral, perfume and leather hints precede a well-balanced cherry and plum palate wrapped in silky tannins, with some spice and savoury notes before a smooth finish.

Baillie-Grohman Pinot Noir Estate 2014, Creston Valley ($25)

From a high-elevation site at 650 m by Kootenay Lake. Single vineyard, sustainably grown and handpicked and aged in French Oak (15% new) for 12 months. Vibrant wild berry and floral notes with spicy hints before a well-textured plate with black fruit, savoury, mushroom and plum notes through an elegant finish.

Cedar Creek Platinum Block 4 Pinot Noir 2014, Kelowna Mission ($54)

From a select block on the east side of Okanagan Lake, using 25% whole clusters. A powerful expression of the variety yields intense dark fruit and floral notes on the nose followed by a robust and well-structured palate with black cherry, plum and a mineral hint wrapped in firm but well integrated tannins through a smooth finish.

Howling Bluff Summa Quies Pinot Noir 2014, Naramata Bench ($35)

From the oldest planting and consisting mainly of silty deposits. Vibrant, lifted plum and red berry notes, followed by elegant layers of cherry and strawberry on a light to medium palate with some earthy undertones and well-integrated tannins.

La Frenz Desperation Hill Pinot Noir 2015, Naramata Bench ($30)

From a steep, west-facing slope with sandy loam and clay soils, high above the lake at 450 m. Five clones, hand-harvested and fermented separately. This elegant and delicate wine has a red colour especially deep for the variety. Lifted notes of black fruit with earthy tones precede a plush palate with well-integrated tannins, vanilla and dark cherry alongside a pleasing savoury edge.

Laughing Stock Pinot Noir 2014, Naramata Bench ($32)

From heavier, silty soils on a high Naramata bluff. Handpicked, destemmed and whole-berry fermented, then aged 16 months in a mix of new and used French oak. Forward notes of ripe cherry and strawberry with earthy undertones on a well-rounded, supple palate with excellent balance and structure.

Maverick Estate Pinot Noir 2014, Golden Mile Bench, Oliver ($29)

From one of the valley’s southernmost Pinot plantings, south of Oliver, on an east-facing slope. Hand-harvested and whole-bunch fermented in a large wooden vat, then aged in mainly used French oak. Forward cherry and raspberry notes with layers of red and black fruit and good acidity, on a gently spicy palate with lingering mineral and spice in the close.

Meyer Family Vineyards McLean Creek Pinot Noir 2015, Okanagan Falls ($40)

From the steep, south-facing home vineyard, established in 1994, on alluvial and glacial deposits, gravel and sandy loam. Black cherry and violet up front with some earthy undertones before a well-structured balance of fruit and acidity. Medium-bodied with expressive fruit flavours, some forest-floor notes, well-integrated tannins and a pleasing savoury edge through a firm finish.

Quails’ Gate Pinot Noir Clone 828 2014, West Kelowna ($60)

From above the west side of Okanagan Lake, this clone is usually blended but bottled alone in exceptional vintages such as this one. Aged in French oak for 10 months. Lifted strawberry and red berry notes precede a well-balanced palate shaped by elegant acidity, with cherry, spice and earthy notes for a pure expression of the variety — which winemaker Nikki Callaway dubs her “Audrey Hepburn” Pinot.

Stag’s Hollow Renaissance Pinot Noir 2011, Okanagan Falls ($40)

Cherry, earthy mushroom blend of Dijon clones that uses entirely estate-grown fruit aged 15 months in 100% 2nd fill French oak barrels. From a challenging vintage, now benefitting from a few years in the bottle and showing lifted dark cherry, earthy and spice notes with fine tannins and still fresh fruit.

Summerhill Single Vineyard Pinot Noir 2013, Chandra Vineyard, Oliver ($35)

100% organic. Crushed dark berries on the nose with hints of strawberry, plum and raisin before a complex and layered palate of plum and cedar notes underpinned by earthy and savoury elements, with hints of clove and five spice, black fruit and spice supported by firm tannins through the close.

Tantalus Pinot Noir 2014, East Kelowna Bench ($28)

From glacial, silty soils over gravel, aged 11 months in new and used French oak. Up front herb, spice and black fruit, followed by a perfectly balanced palate of floral, cherry and raspberry wrapped in a mineral streak, with elegant mouthfeel, well integrated, structured tannins and a lingering, gently stony finish. “A classic BC Pinot Noir vintage. If you couldn’t make a good Pinot in that year, you probably shouldn’t have,” says winemaker David Paterson.

Tightrope Pinot Noir 2015, Naramata Bench ($30)

Grown on a less heated, north-facing slope, on silt clay soils. Vibrant black fruit and floral perfume notes invite before a dark-fruited palate emphasized by dark cherry and cassis, with spice, herb and mocha notes, supported by approachable, silky tannins.

Unsworth Vineyards Pinot Noir 2015, Cowichan Valley ($27)

From clay and gravel soils over an alluvial base and aged 15 months in French oak. Forward red berries with layers of raspberry, cherry, vanilla and spice notes. Medium-bodied, with juicy acidity, earthy undertones and an elegant mouthfeel through a gently spicy close.

Pinot Noir is the bad boy of the BC wine scene Is Pinot Noir getting a bad rap? If not, then how come people the world over still refer to it as the “heartbreak grape”?

[junker-town]

Why Texas’ decade of mediocrity will likely end under Tom Herman

Look at this chart, which shows the Horns have been a totally average Big 12 team for years. That’s probably ending soon.

This preview originally published May 17 and has since been updated.

Around this time of year, with the preview series moving to the power conferences, my radio requests begin to pick up a bit. And on a lot of these radio hits, one common question is: who do I see as a sleeper? If I don’t have anybody immediate in mind, I can lean on the numbers to see who’s projected to improve by a good margin. Basically, then, my answer will lean on who’s been recruiting well recently and who returns a ton of last year’s production.

I can use that returning production data to paint a story about the potential rise of the SEC East, which has four of the top 10 in that regard. And I can note TCU and Oregon are in the top three of returning production and were awesome as recently as 2014.

I usually note the No. 6 team on the list as well, that squad in Austin with top-20 recruiting, a ton of sophomores and juniors, and a hot new coach.

On January 7, 2010, Texas’ Blake Gideon intercepted a pass by Alabama punter P.J. Fitzgerald two minutes into the BCS National Championship in Pasadena. The Longhorns converted a third-and-1 to the Bama 27, then Tre’ Newton rushed 16 yards for another first down.

Texas entered a four-point underdog, but the quick turnover and an early touchdown would have evened the tables. Texas’ win probability would have been about 50 percent at worst. The Horns were within shouting distance of a second national title in five years.

Instead, those plays were the last of the Mack Brown dynasty, if we can call it that. Brown’s Horns had finished in the AP top 15 for 10 straight years and in the top five for four of the last six. After some early disappointments in the Brown era, results were matching recruiting.

Two minutes after Gideon’s interception, on the sixth play of the ensuing drive, quarterback Colt McCoy was hit by Cory Reamer and Marcell Dareus. His arm went numb, he couldn’t throw, and freshman quarterback Garrett Gilbert entered.

Despite aggressive underdog tactics — following a field goal that put them up 3-0, the Horns successfully attempted a pop-up onside kick of sorts and kicked another field goal after a three-and-out — Texas’ next nine drives produced seven punts and two interceptions. Alabama went on a 24-0 run and won, 37-21.

That was the moment Nick Saban’s dynasty (by any definition) began. It was also the moment Texas became a disturbingly average Big 12 program.

That’s a stunning chart, isn’t it? Texas plummeted in 2010 and has spent the last seven seasons playing at an almost perfectly average level within the conference. The offense has seen ups (12th in Off. S&P+ in 2012) and downs (90th in 2014); the defense (seventh in 2011, 62nd in 2015) has done the same. But aside from a stark dip in 2015, the product under both Brown and Charlie Strong was blah-worthy. Average record: 6.6 wins, 6 losses.

Three years of Strong produced a 16-21 record. He was able to instill a culture change of sorts, but the results never came.

Herman was a graduate assistant under Brown in 1999-2000 before moving on to Sam Houston State, Texas State, Rice, Iowa State, and Ohio State. He won a title ring as the Buckeyes’ offensive coordinator, then took the Houston job and proceeded to go 22-4 with wins over Oklahoma, Florida State, and Louisville (twice).

The Texas job is one of the most unique and demanding; we never know how someone will handle it until we see it. But on paper, it’s hard to imagine a better candidate.

More than half his career has taken place within the state, and he spent two years in Austin.

He learned the Art of the Close Game under Urban Meyer.

He generated headlines with high-level recruiting at Houston; his parting gift to the Cougars was two more years of blue-chip defensive tackle Ed Oliver, among others.

His first full-year recruiting class is beginning to look awfully strong.

Hell, even his wife seems to have some UT swagger.

He checks virtually every box. And he inherits a team that, through virtue of massive returning production, likely would have improved by quite a bit even if Strong had remained. He brought his awesome defensive coordinator, and while there are plenty of questions — there always are on a team that just went 5-7 — it’s not hard to talk yourself into Herman turning things around quickly.

Then again, it’s been easy to talk yourself into a turnaround ever since McCoy got hurt.

2016 in review

2016 Texas statistical profile.

Strong couldn’t get all of the pieces pointed in the right direction at the same time. After a first-year collapse, his offense improved in 2015, then improved again in 2016. Meanwhile, his defense was awesome in 2014, then mediocre for most of the next two years.

A team with Strong’s 2014 defense and 2016 offense would have ranked 11th in the country in S&P+; a team with his 2014 offense and 2016 defense would have ranked 78th. Hell, that kind of dichotomy existed within just last year’s team.

First 5 games (2-3): Avg. percentile performance: 66% (68% offense, 43% defense) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 6.4, UT 6.0 | Avg. score: UT 41, Opp 40

Last 7 games (3-4): Avg. percentile performance: 64% (45% offense, 65% defense) | Avg. yards per play: UT 5.8, Opp 5.2 | Avg. score: Opp 26, UT 25

Texas lost tight early games to Cal and Oklahoma because its defense allowed nearly 50 points per game and over 7 yards per play. The Horns lost later tight games to Kansas State, West Virginia, and (gulp) Kansas because their offense averaged barely 20 points per game and 5 yards per play.

Strong demoted defensive coordinator Vance Bedford a month in, and the defense turned itself around just in time for the offense to collapse.

There was a brief offensive renaissance against Baylor and Texas Tech, when D’Onta Foreman rushed for a combined 591 yards and five touchdowns. But the offense was piloted by a true freshman quarterback (Shane Buechele) working behind a line that was both banged up (nine different linemen started at least one game) and young (38 starts went to freshmen and sophomores). That’s the perfect recipe for diminishing returns.

Offense

Full advanced stats glossary.

In hindsight, the 2016 offense looked exactly as you’d expect in terms of when it did (and didn’t do) well. I mean that in two different ways.

It looked good in September and mostly bad in November.

It looked good on standard downs and woeful on passing downs. The Horns ranked 12th in standard-downs success rate and 114th in passing-downs success rate. If they could keep their freshman quarterback on schedule, things were fine. The moment they couldn’t, the drive ended. Not even McCoy was ready to pull off constant passing-downs magic as a freshman.

Michael C. Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

Shane Buechele

So now here comes the quarterback whisperer. Herman helped Ohio State win a national title with a third-string QB in 2014 and turned Houston’s Greg Ward Jr., a part-time receiver who caught 15 passes in 2014, into one of the most valuable quarterbacks in the country.

Major Applewhite — Herman’s coordinator at Houston, who took over as head coach when Herman left — had a role to play in Ward’s success. And Herman’s new coordinator, former Ohio State co-coordinator Tim Beck, didn’t exactly leave Buckeye fans crying when he left.

Still, Herman gets the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise, and Buechele is an exciting lump of clay. Even with the second-half fade, and even while taking a few too many sacks and throwing too many interceptions, he threw for nearly 3,000 yards, complete 60 percent of his passes, and hinted at decent scrambling ability (46 percent of his non-sack carries gained at least five yards).

Eight of nine linemen with starting experience return, including left tackle Conor Williams. [Update: One of them, tackle Brandon Hodges, is transferring to Pitt.]

And Buechele gets his top three targets back. Granted, Dorian Leonard, Armanti Foreman, and Colin Johnson combined for merely 7.1 yards per target with a decent but unspectacular 48 percent success rate. But continuity is huge for a passing game. Plus, other options like converted quarterback Jerrod Heard, inconsistent junior John Burt, and blue-chip sophomore slot Devin Duvernay (13.3 yards per target) could play more of a sustained role.

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Brandon Shackelford (56), Connor Williams (55), and Armanti Foreman (3)

So that leaves two primary questions: What does UT have at running back now that Foreman is a Houston Texan, and what happens if Buechele gets hurt? Ward was always dealing with nagging injuries, as Houston’s QB-intensive offense got him hit quite a bit, and the Horns’ QB situation is perilous after Buechele. There’s four star freshman Sam Ehlinger ... and that’s about it.

There are more options at running back, at least. Big Chris Warren III was nearly as efficient as Foreman but lacked explosiveness due to some combination of nagging hamstring injuries and being 250 pounds. Four-star sophomore Kyle Porter showed a little pop in limited carries, and four-star freshman Toneil Carter was in (and hurt) for spring. UT doesn’t boast quite as many blue-chippers at running back as you’d guess, but three four-star guys is more than most have.

Defense

A quick perusal of Texas’ returnee data tells you quite a bit about the Longhorns’ early-2016 defensive struggles.

Seven of the top nine linemen return, and six are either sophomores or juniors. [Update: One of them, big DT Jordan Elliott, is transferring to Missouri.]

Seven of the top eight linebackers return, and six are either sophomores or juniors.

Eight of the top 10 defensive backs return, and seven are either sophomores or juniors.

The trend smacks you in the face. This was an absurdly young defense, one that was awful early but decent over the second half of the season. It wasn’t disruptive against the run — 93rd in stuff rate, 81st in power success rate, 78th in rushing success rate — but did a lovely job of combining big-play prevention with a top-notch pass rush.

Now coordinator Todd Orlando takes over a unit with extreme continuity. Two years ago, in prepping for his first year at UH, Herman told me, “I've gotta tell you, I think I hit a home run in getting Todd Orlando.” Orlando proved his boss right. Houston ranked 25th in Def. S&P+ last year, combining solid (if passive) pass defense with dominant run D.

Brendan Maloney-USA TODAY Sports

Breckyn Hager (44) and Charles Omenihu (90)

Oliver was a major force in that run defense, and nobody that good will be wearing burnt orange this fall. But the Horns have options, that’s for damn sure. Four returning linemen recorded at least 4.5 tackles for loss in 2016 — they’re all at least 270 pounds, too, which means the shift to a system with three down linemen might hold — and three returning linebackers logged at least 8.5.

While the line doesn’t boast as much blue-chip talent as you would think (only one of the top four returnees was a four-star), the linebacking corps is loaded with both athletic potential and increasingly proven production. And last year’s sophomores are this year’s juniors.

Between Breckyn Hager and Anthony Wheeler, a reliable middle linebacker/anchor should emerge, freeing up Malik Jefferson and either Naashon Hughes, Edwin Freeman, or Jeffrey McCulloch to make plays on the outside. Jefferson was maybe Strong’s biggest get as a recruiter, and Freeman/Hughes/McCulloch combined for 14.5 tackles for loss, 7.5 sacks, and lots of tackles in space.

It appears Texas will operate from a base nickel defense, and if the OLBs and defensive ends like Malcolm Roach, Charles Omenihu, and Chris Nelson can make some distracting plays, the secondary should be able to do some damage.

The cornerback position is less proven than you’d prefer; Kris Boyd is a keeper, but neither Holton Hill nor Davante Davis were successfully aggressive, and despite an awesome pass rush, the Horns still allowed a 61 percent completion rate with only 10 interceptions.

Granted, the pass defense improved immensely — 179.7 passer rating allowed over the first five games, 113.6 thereafter. And safety could be a massive strength; the trio of Jason Hall, John Bonney, and P.J. Locke III combined for seven tackles for loss and 20 passes defensed last year.

Still, if the pass defense disappoints, it will be because of the corners. I don’t expect it to, though; after ranking 41st in Rushing S&P+ and 38th in Passing S&P+ last year, I’m betting the Horns move into the top 30 in each category.

John Hefti-USA TODAY Sports

Kris Boyd (2) and John Bonney (24)

Special Teams

Part of the curriculum at Urban Meyer’s School for Gifted Game Closers is creative, relentless special teams. Ohio State has one of the better units in the country as often as not, and Houston ranked a decent 29th in Special Teams S&P+ last fall.

Texas, meanwhile: 68th. Michael Dickson’s punting was incredible, but Texas gave away points in the place-kicking department and in kick returns. Perhaps it isn’t the end of the world, then, that UT will have a new kicker and new kick returner this year. Dickson and his 47-yard punting average are back. I

t’s hard to guarantee improvement, but UT almost certainly won’t get worse at special teams.

2017 outlook

2017 Schedule & Projection Factors

Date Opponent Proj. S&P+ Rk Proj. Margin Win Probability 2-Sep Maryland 72 18.7 86% 9-Sep San Jose State 105 28.0 95% 16-Sep at USC 7 -9.7 29% 1-Sep at Iowa State 57 8.8 70% 7-Oct Kansas State 35 9.8 71% 14-Oct vs. Oklahoma 5 -8.1 32% 21-Oct Oklahoma State 22 4.5 60% 28-Oct at Baylor 28 3.2 57% 4-Nov at TCU 21 -0.6 49% 11-Nov Kansas 107 28.4 95% 18-Nov at West Virginia 69 11.7 75% 25-Nov Texas Tech 66 15.0 81%

Projected S&P+ Rk 16 Proj. Off. / Def. Rk 12 / 36 Projected wins 8.0 Five-Year S&P+ Rk 7.5 (37) 2- and 5-Year Recruiting Rk 19 / 15 2016 TO Margin / Adj. TO Margin* -3 / 2.0 2016 TO Luck/Game -2.1 Returning Production (Off. / Def.) 82% (84%, 80%) 2016 Second-order wins (difference) 6.8 (-1.8)

“Texas might turn things around!” is neither an exciting nor new response to a common radio question, but it’s what I’ve been coming up with. The Horns have all the experience they lacked a year ago, and they are now being led by a guy who turned Houston around so quickly that he nearly got them into the Big 12.

If Buechele gets hurt, or if the run game can’t produce a lot of big plays, you could see a Texas offense that is limited in the same ways that Houston’s was at times. But I would be shocked if the defense didn’t take sustained steps forward, and I’m willing to bet that the Buechele-Herman marriage works.

S&P+ is even more confident than I am. The combination of returning production and recruiting has UT poised to rise all the way to 16th this year, which would make them the favorites in about nine to 10 games. And considering that there are still almost no seniors projected to start — two to three on defense, three to four on offense — that would set the table for massive hype in 2018.

We don’t know yet about how Herman will perform at program maintenance. And hell, while he’s maybe the most amazing underdog coach in the country, he wasn’t all that great as a favorite at UH. The Cougars did lose to UConn in 2015 and get hammered by SMU last year, after all.

Still, there’s so much to like about this marriage, and it’s not hard to see Texas somewhat deserving major hype in 2018. That’s a scary thought.

Team preview stats

All power conference preview data to date.

[gunboatbaylodge]

Things to Do in Vancouver This Weekend: May 11, 2017

Feast on a festival of spot prawns, marvel at a program of ballet, revel in a talk from an astronaut, and learn to weave from a Coast Salish Chief. You could to absolutely every one of these things this weekend – and more. This is also the last weekend of the Opera Festival, Vancouver Bird Week, and DOXA – so catch them while you can!

Friday | Saturday | Sunday | Ongoing

Friday May 12

Ballet BC Program 3

Ballet BC Program 3 Where: Queen Elizabeth Theatre, 8:00pm What: The Ballet BC season finishes with a thrilling triple bill featuring works by two prominent Israeli choreographers and a world premiere by Ballet BC’s artistic director. Runs until: Saturday May 13, 2017

Traces of Words: Art and Calligraphy from Asia

Traces of Words: Art and Calligraphy from Asia Where: UBC Museum of Anthropology What: Words and their physical manifestations are explored in this insightful exhibition, which will honour the special significance that written forms. Varied forms of expression associated with writing throughout Asia is shown over the span of different time periods: from Sumerian cuneiform inscriptions, Qu’ranic manuscripts, Southeast Asian palm leaf manuscripts and Chinese calligraphy from MOA’s Asian collection to graffiti art from Afghanistan and contemporary artworks using Japanese calligraphy, and Tibetan and Thai scripts. Runs until: Monday October 9, 2017

Screengrab from Chris Hadfield music video for his cover of David Bowie’s Space Oddity. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo

Chris Hadfield’s Canada 150 Tour Where: The Orpheum What: Canada’s first spaceship commander, Colonel Chris Hadfield shares a selection of stories, images, songs and ideas that celebrate the 150th birthday of the nation he is so proud to call home. From his unique perspective, Chris looks at the history and future of Canada through its people and the land itself.

Million Dollar Quartet Where: Arts Club Theatre What: Inspired by true events, this rocking jukebox musical takes you into Sun Records Studio on December 4, 1956, to witness the famed recording session that brought together rock and roll legends Presley, Cash, Lewis, and Perkins—for the first and only time. Runs until: Sunday July 9, 2017

Citizen Jane: Battle for the City

Citizen Jane: Battle for the City Where: VanCity Theatre What: In 1960 Jane Jacobs’s book The Death and Life of Great American Cities sent shockwaves through the architecture and planning worlds, with its exploration of the consequences of modern planners’ and architects’ reconfiguration of cities. Jacobs was also an activist, who was involved in many fights in mid-century New York, to stop “master builder” Robert Moses from running roughshod over the city.

U2: The Joshua Tree Tour 2017

U2: The Joshua Tree Tour 2017 Where: BC Place Stadium What: If you’ve been around the stadium this month, you’ve probably heard the rehearsals! Now see the finished show. The band returns to the stadium stage for the first time since 2009-2011’s record-shattering U2 360° Tour, the most successful tour in history seen by over 7.3 million fans worldwide.

Richmond Night Market

Richmond Night Market Where: Richmond, BC What: There’s a dinosaur park! Anamatronic dinosaurs! Also – live performances, carnival games, over 200 retail stalls and over 500 food choices from around the world. Runs until: October 9, 2017

Graham Clark’s Quiz Show

Graham Clark’s Quiz Show Where: The Fox Cabaret, 8:00pm What: A comedy show that cherry picks the best segments of game shows and presents them all in one bizarre event! Prizes to be won, heads to be scratched.

Royal Canadian Family Circus Where: PNE Grounds What: For 50 years, the Royal Canadian family Circus has showcased the finest circus performers from around the world, bringing the highest standards in artistic excellence, with thrilling white-knuckle acts such as The High Wire and the Motor Cycle Cyclone. Runs until: Sunday May 14, 2017

Shipyards Night Marlet

Shipyards Night Market Where: Lonsdale, North Vancouver What: Food, art, music, entertainment, shopping, a beer garden, and you can bring your dog! Runs until: September 29, 2017

  Saturday May 13

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Spot Prawn Festival Where: False Creek Fishermen’s Wharf What: The Chefs’ Table Society of British Columbia celebrates 11 years of the Spot Prawn Festival. Head to Fisherman’s Warf for cooking classes, a prawn boil, a gala, and to pick up your own fresh spot prawns.

Sea to Sky Gondola’s 3rd Birthday

Sea to Sky Gondola’s 3rd Birthday Where: Sea to Sky Gondola What: Showcasing Squamish musical and craft talent, and hosting family activities.

Pink Martini with the VSO

Pink Martini with the VSO Where: The Orpheum What: The ‘little orchestra’ from Portland, Oregon, joins forces with the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra. Pianist/bandleader Thomas Lauderdale, chanteuse China Forbes and the rest of the band draw musical inspiration from all over the world, crossing classical, jazz, and Latin genres with an international vibe for heart-warming, toe-tapping songs.

I Am Rapaport: Live Stereo Podcast

I Am Rapaport: Live Stereo Podcast Where: The Biltmore, 7:00pm What: Actor/Director/Comedian Michael Rapaport grew his comedic styling a modeled after stand up comedians Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Don Rickles, Eddie Murphy, Andrew Dice Clay and more but it wasn’t until he appeared on comic Bill Burr’s Monday Morning Podcast that he realized that this was the format he’d been waiting for.

Shining Light: Celebrating Women Composers Where: Ryerson United Church, 7:30pm What: Music by living Canadian and American female composers, including Alice Parker, Eleanor Daley, Ramona Luengen, Abbie Betinis, Joan Szymko, Leslie Uyeda, Joanne Metcalf, Sarah Quartel, Jocelyn Hagen, iconic songwriter Joni Mitchell, and more. Tickets available at Tickets Tonight.

Birds Sing a Pretty Song

2017 Chutzpah! Festival Presents: Birds Sing a Pretty Song Where: Norman & Annette Rothstein Theatre What: An evening dance piece interwoven with live music and responsive video. Dancer/choreographer Margolick and dancer Chuck Wilt join forces with composer/guitarists Berkowitz and Jake Klar, drummer Bruno Esrubilsky and Israeli author and historian Ruby Namdar.  The audience follows the two dancers wanderings through a world manipulated and influenced by the “curators” (the three live musicians) and projected light structures that move and direct the world onstage.  Tickets available at Tickets Tonight. Runs until: Sunday May 14, 2017

Emily Carr: Into the Forest

Emily Carr: Into the Forest Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: Far from feeling that the forests of the West Coast were a difficult subject matter, Carr exulted in the symphonies of greens and browns found in the natural world. With oil on paper as her primary medium, Carr was free to work outdoors in close proximity to the landscape. She went into the forest to paint and saw nature in ways unlike her fellow British Columbians, who perceived it as either untamed wilderness or a plentiful source of lumber. Runs until: March 4, 2018

Weaving Workshop with Chief Janice George

Weaving Workshop with Chief Janice George Where: The Bill Reid Gallery What: The Salish Wool Weaving tradition has been reclaimed in a major way. For the last twelve years, Chief Janice George has been teaching all the way to top of Salish speaking territory. This 3 hour intergenerational workshop includes all the supplies you need to create your own beautiful piece of art.

Marcus Mosely Chorale presents Labour of Love Where: Highlands United Church (North Vancouver) What: The Chorale focusses on gospel style music with influences of pop, jazz and R&B. Tickets available at Tickets Tonight.

Trout Lake Farmers Market Where: Trout Lake What: This is where you’ll find the vendors who have been doing it since the beginning; what started as 14 farmers ‘squatting’ at the Croatian Cultural Centre back in 1995 has grown into Vancouver’s most well-known and beloved market. Visitors come from near and far to sample artisan breads & preserves, stock up on free-range and organic eggs & meats, get the freshest, hard-to-find heirloom vegetables and taste the first Okanagan cherries and peaches of the season. Runs until: Saturday October 21, 2017

JoJo Where: The Vogue What: With guests Craig Stickland and Locals Only Sound.

Charles Bukowski Night

Charles Bukowski Night Where: Pat’s Pub What: A viewing of the last live reading Charles Bukowski did in Vancouver, then readings by locals. 

The Smugglers

The Smugglers Where: The Commodore What: Their first hometown show in over 13 years, and their first performance at the Commodore Ballroom in 17 years. The reason for the reunion gig is simple: lead singer, author and broadcaster Grant Lawrence is releasing his memoirs of his hard-charging, international touring years.

Dance with the Dead Where: Venue What: A synthwave duo from Orange County, CA.

Goodwood Atoms

Goodwood Atoms Where: The Cobalt What: Acoustic guitar and heartfelt vocals.

  Sunday May 14

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Cyrilika Slavic Chamber Choir present Eclectica Where: Vancouver Playhouse What: From Christian Orthodox Church music, Slavic folkloric choral tunes, Renaissance Madrigals, Baroque, Romantic and Modern Era Repertoire, Cyrilika will sing, in 11 different languages, a variety of genres rarely performed in the Western part of the world. Tickets available at Tickets Tonight.

Artisan Jewelry Show and Sale Where: VanDusen Gardens What: The 4th Annual Mother’s Day event hosted by the Creative Jewellers Guild of BC.

  Ongoing

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Vancouver Opera Festival Where: Queen Elizabeth Theatre and Plaza What: The first edition of Vancouver Opera Festival is a celebration of the vocal and theatrical arts. At its core, three new productions: a seldom performed masterpiece, a beloved classic, and a contemporary tour de force. Runs until: Saturday May 13, 2017

Vancouver Bird Week Where: Vancouver What:  A week-long series of events to celebrate Vancouver’s birds. Look for bird-related workshops, walks, talks, exhibitions, and lectures across Vancouver. Most events are free! Runs until: Saturday May 13, 2017

Western World

Western World Where: Vancouver Improv Centre (Granville Island) What: Vancouver TheatreSports’ improvisers will demonstrate their lightning fast wit as they play the “hosts” to the audience “guests” in Western World – an improvised parody inspired by the popular TV series Westworld. Runs until: Saturday May 13, 2017

La Merda

La Merda Where:  The Cultch What:  Literally naked, internationally acclaimed Silvia Gallerano sings and howls this provocative and critically acclaimed text: a stream of consciousness that reveals, with rage and poetry, revolting human secrets, and a modern society that is powerful, desperate, vulnerable, and cutting. Runs until: Saturday May 13, 2017

Ballet BC Program 3

Ballet BC Program 3 Where: Queen Elizabeth Theatre, 8:00pm What: The Ballet BC season finishes with a thrilling triple bill featuring works by two prominent Israeli choreographers and a world premiere by Ballet BC’s artistic director. Runs until: Saturday May 13, 2017

The Piano Teacher Where: Arts Club Theatre What: When Erin, a classical pianist, experiences the loss of the life she knew, she also finds herself dealing with the departure of her own musical expression. Navigating her way through this change, she meets an unconventional piano teacher who gives her new hope for the future. Runs until: Sunday May 13, 2017

Robin Hood: Prince of Tease Where: Performance Works What: An original burlesque-style musical theatre production, inspired by the classic folklore of Robin Hood with a tantalizing twist. In this tale, most characters are gender-swapped and the relationships between the classic characters of Nottingham are turned on their heads. The story follows Robin as she conspires with her merry (wo)men to take down the tyrannical Prince Joan and her sadistic sidekick, the Sheriff of Nottingham. Runs until: Saturday May 13, 2017

DOXA Where: Various locations What:  Eleven days of international documentaries give you the opportunity to see through someone else’s eyes, into other worlds, and you might even learn something along the way. Genres such as activism, sexuality, race, sports, war, science, art, docudrama and animation weave through shows you may not get to see on the big screen anywhere else. Runs until: Sunday May 14, 2017

Birds Sing a Pretty Song

2017 Chutzpah! Festival Presents: Birds Sing a Pretty Song Where: Norman & Annette Rothstein Theatre What: An evening dance piece interwoven with live music and responsive video. Dancer/choreographer Margolick and dancer Chuck Wilt join forces with composer/guitarists Berkowitz and Jake Klar, drummer Bruno Esrubilsky and Israeli author and historian Ruby Namdar.  The audience follows the two dancers wanderings through a world manipulated and influenced by the “curators” (the three live musicians) and projected light structures that move and direct the world onstage.  Tickets available at Tickets Tonight. Runs until: Sunday May 14, 2017

Royal Canadian Family Circus Where: PNE Grounds What: For 50 years, the Royal Canadian family Circus has showcased the finest circus performers from around the world, bringing the highest standards in artistic excellence, with thrilling white-knuckle acts such as The High Wire and the Motor Cycle Cyclone. Runs until: Sunday May 14, 2017

Circle Game: Re-imagining the Music of Joni Mitchell

Circle Game: Re-imagining the Music of Joni Mitchell Where:  Firehall Arts Centre What:  The heartbreak of a failed love affair in “River”, the fear of imminent ecological disaster in “Big Yellow Taxi”, and the promise of a generation gathering to ‘get back to the garden’ in “Woodstock” are topics that resound as heavily today as they did fifty years ago. The enduring music of Canadian icon and renowned singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell is reimagined in this energetic musical experience. Runs until: Saturday May 20, 2017

End of the Rainbow

End of the Rainbow Where: Staircase Theatre What: This gritty play with music is based on the true events of Judy Garland’s last comeback attempt in England in 1968. Runs until: Sunday May 20, 2017

The Show at Emily Car University of Art and Design Where:  Emily Car University What:  Featuring more than 300 works from this year’s Design, Media and Visual Arts graduates. Runs until: Sunday May 21, 2017

Family Lines in Landscape Where:  Kimoto Gallery What:  Veronica Plewman examines how time and memory are rooted in a location, from childhood. She reconstructs and paints her journey and portrait of BC, from the place she grew up to the old family photos of her parents early lives, and the stories she can recall. This series is about migration, how a family gets there and the unknown mysteries of our family history. Runs until: Saturday May 27, 2017

Susan Point: Spindle Whorl

Susan Point: Spindle Whorl Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: Since the early 1980s, Susan Point has received wide acclaim for her remarkably accomplished oeuvre that forcefully asserts the vitality of Coast Salish culture, both past and present. She has produced an extensive body of prints and an expansive corpus of sculptural work in a wide variety of materials that includes glass, resin, concrete, steel, wood and paper. Runs until: Sunday May 28, 2017

Pacific Crossings: Hong Kong Artists in Vancouver | Sunset, Carrie Koo

Pacific Crossings: Hong Kong Artists in Vancouver Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: June 2017 marks the 20-year anniversary of the transfer of Hong Kong sovereignty from the United Kingdom to mainland China. In the lead up to the handover, tens of thousands of Hong Kong residents immigrated to Canada, many choosing to settle in Vancouver, and among them were a significant number of artists. Pacific Crossings presents works from well-known Hong Kong artists created after their relocation to Vancouver throughout the 1960-90s. Runs until: May 28, 2017

Retainers of Anarchy

Retainers of Anarchy Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: A solo exhibition featuring new work from Howie Tsui that considers wuxia, a traditional form of martial arts literature, as a narrative tool for dissidence and resistance. Runs until: May 28, 2017

Caroline Mesquita The Ballad

Caroline Mesquita The Ballad Where: Centre 221A What: A sculptural practice that intertwines the materiality of altered, oxidized, and painted copper and brass sheets with theatrical playfulness. Runs until: Saturday June 3, 2017

Song of the Open Road

Song of the Open Road Where: Contemporary Art Gallery What: Bringing together artists from Canada, Eritrea, Ireland, Sweden, and the US, the exhibition includes works that combine thematically to interrogate ideas rooted in photographic histories, engaging ideas such as veracity, recollection, remembrance, belonging, staging, and how the image documents and records these or is evidence of differing realities. Runs until: Sunday June 18, 2017

Up Close

Up Close Where: VanDusen Botanical Garden What: All the artists represented in this group exhibition find their inspiration while painting on location at VanDusen Garden. The Vancouver en plein air group, initiated in April 2011, zooms-in to the lush vegetation that provides a new dimension of foreground details. The subjects are varied, and so is the medium. Runs until: Tuesday June 27, 2017

Million Dollar Quartet Where: Arts Club Theatre What: Inspired by true events, this rocking jukebox musical takes you into Sun Records Studio on December 4, 1956, to witness the famed recording session that brought together rock and roll legends Presley, Cash, Lewis, and Perkins—for the first and only time. Runs until: Sunday July 9, 2017

Xi Xanya Dzam – Those Who Are Amazing At Making Things Where: The Bill Reid Gallery What: Xi Xanya Dzam (pronounced hee hun ya zam) is the Kwak’wala word describing incredibly talented and gifted people who create works of art. The exhibition is both a showcase and a critical exploration of ‘achievement’ and ‘excellence’ in traditional and contemporary First Nations art. Runs until: Sunday September 4, 2017

Panda International Night Market Where: Richmond, BC What: A diverse market in Richmond, with shopping, food, beverages, and a game zone. Runs until: Monday September 11, 2017

Shipyards Night Marlet

Shipyards Night Market Where: Lonsdale, North Vancouver What: Food, art, music, entertainment, shopping, a beer garden, and you can bring your dog! Runs until: September 29, 2017

Traces of Words: Art and Calligraphy from Asia

Traces of Words: Art and Calligraphy from Asia Where: UBC Museum of Anthropology What: Words and their physical manifestations are explored in this insightful exhibition, which will honour the special significance that written forms. Varied forms of expression associated with writing throughout Asia is shown over the span of different time periods: from Sumerian cuneiform inscriptions, Qu’ranic manuscripts, Southeast Asian palm leaf manuscripts and Chinese calligraphy from MOA’s Asian collection to graffiti art from Afghanistan and contemporary artworks using Japanese calligraphy, and Tibetan and Thai scripts. Runs until: Monday October 9, 2017

Richmond Night Market

Richmond Night Market Where: Richmond, BC What: There’s a dinosaur park! Anamatronic dinosaurs! Also – live performances, carnival games, over 200 retail stalls and over 500 food choices from around the world. Runs until: October 9, 2017

Onsite / Offsite Tsang Kin-Wah

Onsite / Offsite Tsang Kin-Wah Where:  Vancouver Art Gallery What:  This large-scale composition transforms English texts to form intricate floral and animal patterns. The work draws from discriminatory language that appeared in newspapers and political campaigns in Vancouver during the 1887 anti-Chinese riots, the mid-1980s immigration influx from Hong Kong and most recently, the heated exchanges around the foreign buyers and the local housing market. Runs until: Sunday October 15, 2017

Trout Lake Farmers Market Where: Trout Lake What: This is where you’ll find the vendors who have been doing it since the beginning; what started as 14 farmers ‘squatting’ at the Croatian Cultural Centre back in 1995 has grown into Vancouver’s most well-known and beloved market. Visitors come from near and far to sample artisan breads & preserves, stock up on free-range and organic eggs & meats, get the freshest, hard-to-find heirloom vegetables and taste the first Okanagan cherries and peaches of the season. Runs until: Saturday October 21, 2017 (Saturdays)

Kitsilano Farmers Market

Kitsilano Farmers Market Where: Kitsilano Community Centre parking lot What:   A great selection of just-picked, seasonal fruits & vegetables, ethically raised and grass fed meat, eggs, & dairy, sustainable seafood, fresh baked bread & artisanal food, local beer, wine, & spirits, and beautiful, handmade craft. Kids and parents alike can enjoy entertainment by market musicians, a nearby playground and splash park, and coffee and food truck offerings each week. Runs until: Sunday October 22, 2017 (Sundays)

The Lost Fleet Exhibit Where: Vancouver Maritime Museum What: On December 7, 1941 the world was shocked when Japan bombed Pearl Harbour, launching the United States into the war. This action also resulted in the confiscation of nearly 1,200 Japanese-Canadian owned fishing boats by Canadian officials on the British Columbia coast, which were eventually sold off to canneries and other non-Japanese fishermen. The Lost Fleet looks at the world of the Japanese-Canadian fishermen in BC and how deep-seated racism played a major role in the seizure, and sale, of Japanese-Canadian property and the internment of an entire people. Runs until: Winter 2017

Bill Reid Creative Journeys | Image via the Canadian Museum of History

Bill Reid Creative Journeys Where: The Bill Reid Gallery What: Celebrating the many creative journeys of acclaimed master goldsmith and sculptor Bill Reid (1920–1998), this exhibition provides a comprehensive introduction to his life and work. Runs until: Sunday December 10, 2017

Amazonia: The Rights of Nature

Amazonia: The Rights of Nature Where: UBC Museum of Anthropology What: MOA will showcase its Amazonian collections in a significant exploration of socially and environmentally-conscious notions intrinsic to indigenous South American cultures, which have recently become innovations in International Law. These are foundational to the notions of Rights of Nature, and they have been consolidating in the nine countries that share responsibilities over the Amazonian basin. Runs until: January 28, 2018

Emily Carr: Into the Forest

Emily Carr: Into the Forest Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: Far from feeling that the forests of the West Coast were a difficult subject matter, Carr exulted in the symphonies of greens and browns found in the natural world. With oil on paper as her primary medium, Carr was free to work outdoors in close proximity to the landscape. She went into the forest to paint and saw nature in ways unlike her fellow British Columbians, who perceived it as either untamed wilderness or a plentiful source of lumber. Runs until: March 4, 2018

What are you up to this weekend? Tell me and the rest of Vancouver in the comments below or tweet me directly at @lextacular

Inside Vancouver Blog

[junker-town]

Why Texas’ decade of mediocrity will likely end under Tom Herman

Look at this chart, which shows the Horns have been a totally average Big 12 team for years. That’s probably ending soon.

Around this time of year, with the preview series moving to the power conferences, my radio requests begin to pick up a bit. And on a lot of these radio hits, one common question is: who do I see as a sleeper? If I don’t have anybody immediate in mind, I can lean on the numbers to see who’s projected to improve by a good margin. Basically, then, my answer will lean on who’s been recruiting well recently and who returns a ton of last year’s production.

I can use that returning production data to paint a story about the potential rise of the SEC East, which has four of the top 10 in that regard. And I can note TCU and Oregon are in the top three of returning production and were awesome as recently as 2014.

I usually note the No. 6 team on the list as well, that squad in Austin with top-20 recruiting, a ton of sophomores and juniors, and a hot new coach.

On January 7, 2010, Texas’ Blake Gideon intercepted a pass by Alabama punter P.J. Fitzgerald two minutes into the BCS National Championship in Pasadena. The Longhorns converted a third-and-1 to the Bama 27, then Tre’ Newton rushed 16 yards for another first down.

Texas entered a four-point underdog, but the quick turnover and an early touchdown would have evened the tables. Texas’ win probability would have been about 50 percent at worst. The Horns were within shouting distance of a second national title in five years.

Instead, those plays were the last of the Mack Brown dynasty, if we can call it that. Brown’s Horns had finished in the AP top 15 for 10 straight years and in the top five for four of the last six. After some early disappointments in the Brown era, results were matching recruiting.

Two minutes after Gideon’s interception, on the sixth play of the ensuing drive, quarterback Colt McCoy was hit by Cory Reamer and Marcell Dareus. His arm went numb, he couldn’t throw, and freshman quarterback Garrett Gilbert entered.

Despite aggressive underdog tactics — following a field goal that put them up 3-0, the Horns successfully attempted a pop-up onside kick of sorts and kicked another field goal after a three-and-out — Texas’ next nine drives produced seven punts and two interceptions. Alabama went on a 24-0 run and won, 37-21.

That was the moment Nick Saban’s dynasty (by any definition) began. It was also the moment Texas became a disturbingly average Big 12 program.

That’s a stunning chart, isn’t it? Texas plummeted in 2010 and has spent the last seven seasons playing at an almost perfectly average level within the conference. The offense has seen ups (12th in Off. S&P+ in 2012) and downs (90th in 2014); the defense (seventh in 2011, 62nd in 2015) has done the same. But aside from a stark dip in 2015, the product under both Brown and Charlie Strong was blah-worthy. Average record: 6.6 wins, 6 losses.

Three years of Strong produced a 16-21 record. He was able to instill a culture change of sorts, but the results never came.

Herman was a graduate assistant under Brown in 1999-2000 before moving on to Sam Houston State, Texas State, Rice, Iowa State, and Ohio State. He won a title ring as the Buckeyes’ offensive coordinator, then took the Houston job and proceeded to go 22-4 with wins over Oklahoma, Florida State, and Louisville (twice).

The Texas job is one of the most unique and demanding; we never know how someone will handle it until we see it. But on paper, it’s hard to imagine a better candidate.

More than half his career has taken place within the state, and he spent two years in Austin.

He learned the Art of the Close Game under Urban Meyer.

He generated headlines with high-level recruiting at Houston; his parting gift to the Cougars was two more years of blue-chip defensive tackle Ed Oliver, among others.

His first full-year recruiting class is beginning to look awfully strong.

Hell, even his wife seems to have some UT swagger.

He checks virtually every box. And he inherits a team that, through virtue of massive returning production, likely would have improved by quite a bit even if Strong had remained. He brought his awesome defensive coordinator, and while there are plenty of questions — there always are on a team that just went 5-7 — it’s not hard to talk yourself into Herman turning things around quickly.

Then again, it’s been easy to talk yourself into a turnaround ever since McCoy got hurt.

2016 in review

2016 Texas statistical profile.

Strong couldn’t get all of the pieces pointed in the right direction at the same time. After a first-year collapse, his offense improved in 2015, then improved again in 2016. Meanwhile, his defense was awesome in 2014, then mediocre for most of the next two years.

A team with Strong’s 2014 defense and 2016 offense would have ranked 11th in the country in S&P+; a team with his 2014 offense and 2016 defense would have ranked 78th. Hell, that kind of dichotomy existed within just last year’s team.

First 5 games (2-3): Avg. percentile performance: 66% (68% offense, 43% defense) | Avg. yards per play: Opp 6.4, UT 6.0 | Avg. score: UT 41, Opp 40

Last 7 games (3-4): Avg. percentile performance: 64% (45% offense, 65% defense) | Avg. yards per play: UT 5.8, Opp 5.2 | Avg. score: Opp 26, UT 25

Texas lost tight early games to Cal and Oklahoma because its defense allowed nearly 50 points per game and over 7 yards per play. The Horns lost later tight games to Kansas State, West Virginia, and (gulp) Kansas because their offense averaged barely 20 points per game and 5 yards per play.

Strong demoted defensive coordinator Vance Bedford a month in, and the defense turned itself around just in time for the offense to collapse.

There was a brief offensive renaissance against Baylor and Texas Tech, when D’Onta Foreman rushed for a combined 591 yards and five touchdowns. But the offense was piloted by a true freshman quarterback (Shane Buechele) working behind a line that was both banged up (nine different linemen started at least one game) and young (38 starts went to freshmen and sophomores). That’s the perfect recipe for diminishing returns.

Offense

Full advanced stats glossary.

In hindsight, the 2016 offense looked exactly as you’d expect in terms of when it did (and didn’t do) well. I mean that in two different ways.

It looked good in September and mostly bad in November.

It looked good on standard downs and woeful on passing downs. The Horns ranked 12th in standard-downs success rate and 114th in passing-downs success rate. If they could keep their freshman quarterback on schedule, things were fine. The moment they couldn’t, the drive ended. Not even McCoy was ready to pull off constant passing-downs magic as a freshman.

Michael C. Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

Shane Buechele

So now here comes the quarterback whisperer. Herman helped Ohio State win a national title with a third-string QB in 2014 and turned Houston’s Greg Ward Jr., a part-time receiver who caught 15 passes in 2014, into one of the most valuable quarterbacks in the country.

Major Applewhite — Herman’s coordinator at Houston, who took over as head coach when Herman left — had a role to play in Ward’s success. And Herman’s new coordinator, former Ohio State co-coordinator Tim Beck, didn’t exactly leave Buckeye fans crying when he left.

Still, Herman gets the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise, and Buechele is an exciting lump of clay. Even with the second-half fade, and even while taking a few too many sacks and throwing too many interceptions, he threw for nearly 3,000 yards, complete 60 percent of his passes, and hinted at decent scrambling ability (46 percent of his non-sack carries gained at least five yards).

Eight of nine linemen with starting experience return, including left tackle Conor Williams. And Buechele gets his top three targets back. Granted, Dorian Leonard, Armanti Foreman, and Colin Johnson combined for merely 7.1 yards per target with a decent but unspectacular 48 percent success rate. But continuity is huge for a passing game. Plus, other options like converted quarterback Jerrod Heard, inconsistent junior John Burt, and blue-chip sophomore slot Devin Duvernay (13.3 yards per target) could play more of a sustained role.

Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Brandon Shackelford (56), Connor Williams (55), and Armanti Foreman (3)

So that leaves two primary questions: What does UT have at running back now that Foreman is a Houston Texan, and what happens if Buechele gets hurt? Ward was always dealing with nagging injuries, as Houston’s QB-intensive offense got him hit quite a bit, and the Horns’ QB situation is perilous after Buechele. There’s four star freshman Sam Ehlinger ... and that’s about it.

There are more options at running back, at least. Big Chris Warren III was nearly as efficient as Foreman but lacked explosiveness due to some combination of nagging hamstring injuries and being 250 pounds. Four-star sophomore Kyle Porter showed a little pop in limited carries, and four-star freshman Toneil Carter was in (and hurt) for spring. UT doesn’t boast quite as many blue-chippers at running back as you’d guess, but three four-star guys is more than most have.

Defense

A quick perusal of Texas’ returnee data tells you quite a bit about the Longhorns’ early-2016 defensive struggles.

Seven of the top nine linemen return, and six are either sophomores or juniors.

Seven of the top eight linebackers return, and six are either sophomores or juniors.

Eight of the top 10 defensive backs return, and seven are either sophomores or juniors.

The trend smacks you in the face. This was an absurdly young defense, one that was awful early but decent over the second half of the season. It wasn’t disruptive against the run — 93rd in stuff rate, 81st in power success rate, 78th in rushing success rate — but did a lovely job of combining big-play prevention with a top-notch pass rush.

Now coordinator Todd Orlando takes over a unit with extreme continuity. Two years ago, in prepping for his first year at UH, Herman told me, “I've gotta tell you, I think I hit a home run in getting Todd Orlando.” Orlando proved his boss right. Houston ranked 25th in Def. S&P+ last year, combining solid (if passive) pass defense with dominant run D.

Brendan Maloney-USA TODAY Sports

Breckyn Hager (44) and Charles Omenihu (90)

Oliver was a major force in that run defense, and nobody that good will be wearing burnt orange this fall. But the Horns have options, that’s for damn sure. Four returning linemen recorded at least 4.5 tackles for loss in 2016 — they’re all at least 270 pounds, too, which means the shift to a system with three down linemen might hold — and three returning linebackers logged at least 8.5.

While the line doesn’t boast as much blue-chip talent as you would think (only one of the top four returnees was a four-star), the linebacking corps is loaded with both athletic potential and increasingly proven production. And last year’s sophomores are this year’s juniors.

Between Breckyn Hager and Anthony Wheeler, a reliable middle linebacker/anchor should emerge, freeing up Malik Jefferson and either Naashon Hughes, Edwin Freeman, or Jeffrey McCulloch to make plays on the outside. Jefferson was maybe Strong’s biggest get as a recruiter, and Freeman/Hughes/McCulloch combined for 14.5 tackles for loss, 7.5 sacks, and lots of tackles in space.

It appears Texas will operate from a base nickel defense, and if the OLBs and defensive ends like Malcolm Roach, Charles Omenihu, and Chris Nelson can make some distracting plays, the secondary should be able to do some damage.

The cornerback position is less proven than you’d prefer; Kris Boyd is a keeper, but neither Holton Hill nor Davante Davis were successfully aggressive, and despite an awesome pass rush, the Horns still allowed a 61 percent completion rate with only 10 interceptions.

Granted, the pass defense improved immensely — 179.7 passer rating allowed over the first five games, 113.6 thereafter. And safety could be a massive strength; the trio of Jason Hall, John Bonney, and P.J. Locke III combined for seven tackles for loss and 20 passes defensed last year.

Still, if the pass defense disappoints, it will be because of the corners. I don’t expect it to, though; after ranking 41st in Rushing S&P+ and 38th in Passing S&P+ last year, I’m betting the Horns move into the top 30 in each category.

John Hefti-USA TODAY Sports

Kris Boyd (2) and John Bonney (24)

Special Teams

Part of the curriculum at Urban Meyer’s School for Gifted Game Closers is creative, relentless special teams. Ohio State has one of the better units in the country as often as not, and Houston ranked a decent 29th in Special Teams S&P+ last fall.

Texas, meanwhile: 68th. Michael Dickson’s punting was incredible, but Texas gave away points in the place-kicking department and in kick returns. Perhaps it isn’t the end of the world, then, that UT will have a new kicker and new kick returner this year. Dickson and his 47-yard punting average are back. I

t’s hard to guarantee improvement, but UT almost certainly won’t get worse at special teams.

2017 outlook

2017 Schedule & Projection Factors

Date Opponent Proj. S&P+ Rk Proj. Margin Win Probability 2-Sep Maryland 72 18.7 86% 9-Sep San Jose State 105 28.0 95% 16-Sep at USC 7 -9.7 29% 1-Sep at Iowa State 57 8.8 70% 7-Oct Kansas State 35 9.8 71% 14-Oct vs. Oklahoma 5 -8.1 32% 21-Oct Oklahoma State 22 4.5 60% 28-Oct at Baylor 28 3.2 57% 4-Nov at TCU 21 -0.6 49% 11-Nov Kansas 107 28.4 95% 18-Nov at West Virginia 69 11.7 75% 25-Nov Texas Tech 66 15.0 81%

Projected S&P+ Rk 16 Proj. Off. / Def. Rk 12 / 36 Projected wins 8.0 Five-Year S&P+ Rk 7.5 (37) 2- and 5-Year Recruiting Rk 19 / 15 2016 TO Margin / Adj. TO Margin* -3 / 2.0 2016 TO Luck/Game -2.1 Returning Production (Off. / Def.) 82% (84%, 80%) 2016 Second-order wins (difference) 6.8 (-1.8)

“Texas might turn things around!��� is neither an exciting nor new response to a common radio question, but it’s what I’ve been coming up with. The Horns have all the experience they lacked a year ago, and they are now being led by a guy who turned Houston around so quickly that he nearly got them into the Big 12.

If Buechele gets hurt, or if the run game can’t produce a lot of big plays, you could see a Texas offense that is limited in the same ways that Houston’s was at times. But I would be shocked if the defense didn’t take sustained steps forward, and I’m willing to bet that the Buechele-Herman marriage works.

S&P+ is even more confident than I am. The combination of returning production and recruiting has UT poised to rise all the way to 16th this year, which would make them the favorites in about nine to 10 games. And considering that there are still almost no seniors projected to start — two to three on defense, three to four on offense — that would set the table for massive hype in 2018.

We don’t know yet about how Herman will perform at program maintenance. And hell, while he’s maybe the most amazing underdog coach in the country, he wasn’t all that great as a favorite at UH. The Cougars did lose to UConn in 2015 and get hammered by SMU last year, after all.

Still, there’s so much to like about this marriage, and it’s not hard to see Texas somewhat deserving major hype in 2018. That’s a scary thought.

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