#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[darkwood-sleddog]

Hello, do you know something about the temperament of the Greenland dogs comparated for example to other nordic/primitive breeds like Siberian Husky or Alaskan Malamute? I can't find much about them online. They are so extreme and work-driven as many told and cannot be only pets?

Well it would highly depend on what your definition of "pet" is. If your idea of a pet dog is a dog you can take on occasional walks and relax easily inside with, trainable and friendly, easy to take places, than the Greenland is likely not the best choice, if not a very bad one. If your definition of pet includes working the dog in harness on a regular basis, allowing them to live outside if they desire and have multiple dogs, then they could be a good pet.

For me personally, I could probably handle one after having a dog like Slash, but do I want to? Absolutely not. I enjoy the easier going, more chill nature of the Malamute for me personally and that's saying something considering that while Slash is a good house dog, he is only a good house dog because he is given work year round in some capacity.

I have only met a few Greenland Dogs in person, one was at the time young and ran with my dog's parents in a sled team, very tireless, but affectionate. And the other was a retired elder dog who could not retire to being a house pet her entire life and often found it stressful being away from the working team, even if she herself was not working.

Remember, these are primitive sled dogs and are less removed from their origins than many other sledding breeds. The modern Siberian Husky, Alaskan Malamute, Samoyed and even the Alaskan Husky have their origins in the 20th century and have their temperaments highly selected for. A Greenland dog is the same as it has been for centuries and centuries, vastly unchanged due to its isolation from westernized dog breeds and kennel clubs until very recently. A majority of Greenland dogs still live in Greenland (the country has very strict import and export laws for domestic animals and dogs in particular to protect the breed) where they are working dogs. A majority of Greenland dogs outside of Greenland are also working dogs.

As far as temperament goes the Greenland Dog FCI standard states:

The predominant temperamental qualities of the Greenland Dog are energy, mental strength and boldness. He is a passionate and tireless sledge dog. To people - also strangers - he is friendly, and while acting as sledge dog not closely attached to any particular person and therefore not suitable as a guard dog. On hunting seal and polar bear he will show a strong hunting instinct."

The Nordisk Kennel Union says this:

The Greenland Dog is a true unaffected natural dog with all that this entail. Therefore, this breed is only suitable as a family dog for people, who have great canine experience and who understand the special needs and distinctive character of this dog. In the right environment, this dog is energetic, mentally robust, vigilant and generally kind towards adults and children. It is an overall curious dog with a distinct pack mentality. This breed greatly demands allowance to use its immense power on running and pulling heavy loads. It needs a good social life and the pack is of great value to these dogs. This breed enjoys living outdoors. 

They are often said to be amongst the most intense of the sled breeds, more driven to work than Malamutes, more energetic, more prey driven, more more more and more.

The Alaskan Malamute Illustrated Standard says this about temperament for Malamutes (so imagine this + MORE ENERGY):

The Alaskan Malamute is an affectionate, friendly dog, not a “one man” dog. He is a loyal, devoted companion, playful upon invitation, but generally impressive by his dignity after maturity. The Malamute is a true pack animal with the natural instinct to “lead or be led.” This results in an independent, self-confident and strong willed personality, and explains why Malamutes can sometimes be aggressive with other dogs of the same sex. While historically guardians of campsites and Eskimo children, the Malamute is not the type of guard dog that sees a threat in eye contact or the approach of strangers. Dogs who react negatively towards people do not typify correct Malamute temperament and any sign of aggression towards humans is unacceptable.

There are many great Greenland dog mushers (both in Greenland, Scandinavia and even the UK) that are present on Instagram if you have an account and want to learn a bit more about these dogs (note that some of them outside of Greenland also mush Alaskan Malamutes, this is pretty common as the breeds work well together). Here are some ones that I like:

Dodgesled Taxi (Sisimiut, Greenland)

Arctic Living Ilulissat (Ilulissat, Greenland)

Siku Tours (Uummannaq, Greenland)

Ukioq Soul (Åre, Sweden)

Suna-Sanik Kennel (Norway)

Kennel Tasermiut (Norway)

Ikihallan Greenland Dogs (Rovaniemi, Finland)

Infury Sled Dogs (UK)

Greenland Dog Adventures (Sisimiut, Greenland)

And here are some videos I like about Greenland Dogs:

Greenland Way of Life: Raising Dogs

The Insiders Guide: Dogsledding in Greenland

And finally, an article about how these dogs and Inuit are at the forefront of being affected by climate change (even my half house pet/half working pet malamutes are uncomfortable when my house is heated in winter btw...):

In Greenland village, shorter winters cast doubts over dog sledding

[ducknotinarow]

[2k7 Rasey]

He should be angry. Should be furious. He should be yelling and throwing threats, telling Raph to stay the fuck away from him, to never come back. But he wasn't. Casey was anything but all of that. Hurting, yes, physically, mentally, and emotionally, every inch of him somehow both numb and screaming in agony all at once. Yet, a small sense of hope, relief, had managed to break though the walls.

Casey was laying still on the couch, mind a mess, thoughts trying to comprehend the fact Raphael was here. Raph was back in their home, taking care of him. The air was disgustingly awkward, uncomfortable as Hell. Casey was happy they were here, even if his lip was too swollen and heart too broken to show it.

When Raphael says about how he'll go if Casey wants him to, well, he wants to laugh. He can't though. For the first time in so long he felt something. Hope. Hope that maybe things can be okay between them. An arm lifts, heavy and in agony, but he still forces himself to move. Fingers reach out, wrapping themselves around Raph's wrist, thumb gently stroking over the bandages. They were hurting, and he should've known. He should've said something earlier.

But maybe there was a small chance that things would be fine.

One good blue eye stares up at them, pleading with the Turtle, as soft voice speaks up for the first time in what seemed like forever, a simple request on Casey's lips,

"...Stay."

| muse interaction

Casey not giving a fight was both convenient and lucky on Raphael's end but also? awful to deal with. Raphael would far more wish Casey be putting up a fight here. Kicking and screaming demanding Raph put him done to leave even. Yell at Raph bring up the break up how he did it how he just left their key in the apartment. Throw in petty remarks anything he would take any of that over the state Casey was in now. Clothes were soaked wet, he wouldn't be surprised if Casey wasn't chilled through to his bones with how drippy wet they were alone. Face was swollen, busted up, colored different shades of blues and purples. One Eye so swollen over he could seem out from it but the one Raph could look at? He tried so hard not to look towards. It was like the light from them had been taken in that fight along with anything else of value those punks may have gotten their hands one at the time. It was as if they left Casey nothing more than this empty husk that only resembled the man.

Expect it was Raphael who did that. Not some random newbie purple dragon recruits. They way Casey looked at him in the alleyway was enough to answer. He had done this to Casey. Raphael was the reason those idiots got the better of Casey in the first place. He was the reason Casey let himself take it and look like a chump right after. Raph was the reason Casey was just this lifeless battered and bruised useless pitiful sack. That Raphael had moved to lie down on to the couch of Casey's apartment. Watching how limbs fell lossless over the side and arms of the couch. That vacant near soulless stare in Casey's good eye.

And here Raphael thought Casey hating him would be painful. Nothing compared to what seemed like pure indifference instead.

Raphael moved away from the couch making his way through the dark apartment. He last was here the night of the break up, but all the time spent here? he could easily make his way through the place with his eye closed. With how beat up Casey got in general it was often something the turtle would harp on Casey about making sure he had a damn fist aid kit at least. Seemed he kept it in the same place at least, even if it being covered in a thin layer of dust twisted his guts around at the mere sight.

"Casey.." Their name trails off his tongue as he speaks to himself, hes kind of glad the only real light source he has is from the flashes of the storm outside. Raphael might not be able to stomach the sight of the place right now. Casey was bad enough and it was only due to how they had their ass handed to them. It was like walking through an abandoned warehouse. Filled with stuff but no sign of living going on. Like this apartments was simply haunted by the ghost Casey was now.

It wasn't meant to be like this. Was all he could think staring at the fist aid kit, he needs to grab it. Fuck why was it like the air in this place became dense and started to set pressure on to his shoulders. Heavier than weight he's held across his shoulders. Raphael swears his muscles are spamsing from the thought of moving to stand back up a painful involuntary movement he could feel under his scales. Forcing his arm to lift at last, flexing his fingers in and out a few times before he finally grabbed for the handle and pulled it free at last. Paying second to slam an elbow against his leg.

Now wasn't the time to freeze up.

Forcing himself to stand, he works against the thickness of the air that seems to be holding him back. Like trudging through the sewer tunnels when they flooded during hurricane season. As he made his way back to where Casey laid. He handle moved in the slightest.

"Wasn' meant ta be 'ike 'his." Raphael hadn't even caught that he said it outloud.

But it's all he could think. As he finds the strength to return to the living room, crouching down beside the couch he sets the kitchen on ground beside himself and pops it open. Swearing the second that lid opened up all the past memories of doing this before hit him like a gust of air. A glance at Casey's face so he could see what to grab. Looking back there was much mainly bandages of various kinds and sizes. Some pain killers and packets of antiseptic wipes and creams. Considering how some of the gashes in Casey's skin look they might need some. He spares a tentive stare over Casey who still seems just well excatly how he found them. Dead to the world, uncaring, unmoving. A ghost.

That fits this place feels void of the usual air Raphael come to know it for. Almost was like the abandoned wearhouse district in here. Raph shook it out of his mind right now he didn't trust Casey to care for himself if he was just laying out among the dirt and grim of a back alleyway then yeah he would bother with this either. Opening a packet of rhe wipes he's takes the small thin wipe out and started to try and carefully dab at Casey's face. This wasn't how it was meant to, Casey was meant to find someone else someone better for him. Who wouldn't hurt Casey or leave him like this. He flinched slightly when he's sure a cut should have stung when getting cleaned. But Casey hardly reacted. They didn't seem against the help, if that what you could call it. What happened?

You know what happened.

He did know what happened. Raph happened. It not a surpise it shouldn't be a surpise! It's not lole they were screwing around they were in a for real relationship for years. They talked about a future together Casey always made it clear thst when he looked towards one Raph was in it. He assured his jealous insecure ass all the time that his eyes were always on Raph. Allowed Raph a safe space to be something he hates to be but could with Casey. Vulnerable. And what did Raphael do?

He swallows thickly a moment before pulling his hand away. What was he doing now? As he looked at the bandages it was gonna take a few to get Casey covered up.

"Casey I-" He what? He was sorry? He wanted to take it back? He didn't mean to hurt them? Sure that all sounds nice to the one who did the damage but the one who would dealt the blow? "Look, I- if ya want me to go. I will."

A bear of slience passes between them and Raphael feels the air thinning out as he dares to lool at Casey. He expect them to him to beat it maybe he wants them to say it to say anything to react to him being here. He dosent care how they do it. He deserves the harshness of the possibilities and maybe Casey ponders it even. Raphael watches them move thier hand lift. Raphael closes his eye. Expected a firm punch anything. A slap a pointed finger to the window telling him to leave. Dosent matter how painful it comes he did this to Casey and for what?

At the time it all seemed so clear it made sense to him then but now? Now he dosen't remember why that made sense why leaving Casey ever crossed his mind why he could hurt the greatest thing that ever happened to him.

He near about flinched when he feels a touch on his wrist. Eye opening wind as he looks to see Casey rubbing a thumb over his wrist. It's enough to set off a flare of nerves working as they should. Drawing all his attention behind what those wrappings are hiding. Part of him wants pull it away he swears the pain thoer is like a fire. Sham and regert mixing together he can't even blame that for the reason for what he did. He closes his eye again trying to bury it all not even factor how gentle Casey's touch was just now how he was craving that touch especially there.

Because he shouldn't be! He did this to Casey he should seek them out anymore! He had no right!

"...Stay."

It's soft just beaely a wishers if the place wasn't as slient as it was now. Raph might not have heard it. He looks to Casey and sees them finally looking back at him. He wants to ignore that look in thier eye, a blue he loved having something shimmer in the color for a moment.

Don't you dare.

He threatened his heart. He can't no dosent matter that his feelings never changed after all that time or felt strongly he felt those now. How je wanted yell at Casey for getting his ass beat lile this. How he wanted to hug them.despite the pain they had to be in right now. Hiw he wanted to hold them but nit fully because Casey was hurt now and he wanted to threaten who eveer dear do this to Casey.

Because a small part of him wanted to seek Casey's warmth and comfortable loving kindness for him. How awful of him after everything he was that selfish?

Reaching his free hand over, he gingerly patted the back of Casey's. Holding their hand between his own and his wirst. Soaking in everything Casey touch had. For a brief moment of pure selfish need on the turtles end.

" 'm nit goin' anywhere Case. Not 'his time." He promises "am gonna need my hand though. Ya look 'ike shit."

[tommysparker]

Never Forget You [Chapter 1]

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader

A/N: here’s the first official chapter! thank you so much for the support this series as already gotten. chapters will be posted every Saturday! enjoy :)

Warnings: angst. fluffy flashbacks. this isn’t even the worst of it mwhaha. paragraphed italics = flashback

                                            [10 YEARS LATER] 

The sky was as blue as his eyes. Not as dark and cloudy, but gave the same feeling of hope, peacefulness, and comfort. You could picture them vividly in your mind, even the small crinkle at the edges and the kindness they held, a warmness that matched your current aurora.  

The two of you sat in the gardens for what felt like hours, deep in meditation. Your force signatures quickly became entangled with one another, your bond radiating around you, creating almost a shield bubble between the rest of the world and the two who sat inside. 

Obi-Wan was the first to open his eyes, having never been one to sit still for long periods of time. He’s improved since he was a youngling, but still had a long way to go. 

You, on the other hand, looked completely invested in your meditation. Your face was relaxed, although every now and then your eyebrows would furrow as you tried to maintain concentration. It was hard when a certain other was very distracting, even if he wasn’t aware of it. 

“I can feel you staring,” you said, eyes still closed. Obi-Wan was thankful for that fact because it means you wouldn’t see him blush in embarrassment from getting caught. 

“I can feel you blushing, too.” This time, you opened your eyes and smiled. “I knew you wouldn’t last long.” Anytime the two of you tried to meditate together, it would always end with Obi-Wan getting bored and asking to duel instead. 

He quickly hid his face, pulling the hood of his robe over his head. “I’m not blushing, that’s childish.” 

You giggled, leaning forward to lift the front of his hood. “Obi-Wan, you are the most childish person I know.” 

The young man was about to protest before you hushed, eyes already closed once more as you returned to your deep state of awareness. 

You opened your eyes and sighed, long and deep. 

Standing up from the cold floor of your room, you looked out the window and gazed at the cloudy sky of Gyfill. The air felt chilly from the lack of life-forms in the area. After your first week on the planet, you decided it was a safer idea to seek shelter away from town. Considering your mission was to spy on the local Separatist groups, keeping a low profile was essential. 

Today was different, however. The same cold and dull atmosphere were present, but the future is what held the divergent. For today, was the day you were finally to return home. 

Home. The word itself felt familiar but distant. As a Jedi, you trained to hold little sentimental value. Attachments were forbidden, a path to the dark side. They provoked fear. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. 

Once your bag of belongings was packed, you made your way to the marked location someone from the Jedi council sent earlier that morning. Mentally, you were not prepared to see everyone again. After being isolated for years and having limited contact with any life form outside of business, the many faces from your time at the Temple became slightly blurry. Except for his. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi was on his way to the Archives when he bumped into Ahsoka Tano. 

“Oh, Master Kenobi! Perfect, I was about to go look for you.” 

“Ahsoka,” he smiled. “What can I do for you?” 

“Who’s Y/n Y/l/n?” 

Obi-Wan froze. The sound of that name echoed in his mind, paired with memories that he had locked away in the back of his mind. “Well...that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time,” was all he could manage to say, still trying to process all the past recollections that suddenly surfaced. 

“So, you know them?” 

“Uh, yes I suppose so. We were...close as younglings and trained together as Padawans. They were...the most skilled Jedi I ever had the pleasure of knowing, almost as good as Master Yoda.” 

“If they’re so great, how come I never heard of them before?” Ahsoka tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, resting a hand on her hip in classic ‘Ashoka manner’, 

“They were sent away on an important mission years ago as far as I know. Er, why do you ask? And how did you come to know of that name?” 

“Oh right. Anakin said the Chancellor told him that Master Y/l/n was returning today. He told me to ask you about it.” 

Once again, Obi-Wan’s world paused. 

He stood across from you, trying to maintain a neutral expression as he watched you load your bags onto the ship. However, you knew him better than that. 

You walked up to the young boy and he took in your appearance. Gone was the braid that draped over your shoulder. Gone were the long robes you liked to hide in, in their place was a heavy jacket that looked like it was built to keep out the cold. Perhaps you were going to Hoth? 

“Obi, you know I can’t tell you where I’m going. Master Windu was strict about his instructions,” You sighed, sensing your friend trying to deduce as much as he could. Your Master was very clear when he told you how classified the mission was. No one can know, especially Obi-Wan. 

“Can you at least say how long you’ll be gone?” He practically begged, wanting something, anything he could get to keep his hope alive. Hope that you'll return soon. Hope that you weren’t truly leaving him. 

You looked away, staring at the towers and passing hover-vehicles that littered the planet you’ve grown up on. “I don’t know.” 

Everything had happened so suddenly. You were called into the council room that day to hear the news every Padawan dreams of. When Master Windu said you were ready for the trials, the first thing you went to do was tell Obi-Wan. The two of you celebrated that night in the gardens, a moment you would treasure for the rest of your life. Soon after you gained the title of Jedi Knight, you were once again called into the Jedi Council room to be debriefed on your first mission as a proper Jedi. You didn’t want to mess this up. You couldn’t. 

Obi-Wan resists the urge to pull you into a hug and never let you go, instead opting to hold your shoulders and give you his signature charming smile. “Be safe, darling.” 

You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You held his wrist, bringing his knuckles to your lips and pressed a hesitant kiss to them before pushing them to his side. “May the force be with you.” 

There was no pet name at the end, no ‘my friend’ or even his own name. It was a sentence that was meant to bring comfort, but the way you phrased it, the edge in your voice, made Obi-Wan feel everything but comforted. 

He didn’t get the luxury of responding, for all he did was blink and suddenly you were on the ship, taking off into the clear blue sky. 

You gazed at the clouds passing by as the ship flew into Coruscant’s atmosphere. The bright light and sunny day was a harsh change from the grey sky that fell over Gyfill. The energy emitting off of all the life-forms gave you a headache. You felt the Force all around you, swirling in the air and penetrating your soul. It was like a breath of fresh air after drowning for over a decade. 

You flinched at the light as the door opened, suddenly feeling like a hermit crawling out of its shell. Slowly walking out of the ship, you pulled the cloak hood over your head, inhaling the strange but familiar scent of the Jedi Temple. You were still wearing your Gyfill civilian attire, the wool fabric made the Coruscant heat much more intense causing a few beads of sweat to form on your forehead. Or was it just the nerves of seeing all the people you left behind? 

Master Windu stood at the end of the drop door, a smile on his face at the sight of his former Padawan. It was an occasion that called for a little joy, a moment to celebrate outside the war that raged through the galaxy. 

You descended down the ramp, taking in a sharp breath at the feeling of another force sensitive. “Master Windu”. You bowed your head and he did the same to you. 

“Master Y/l/n, it’s great to see you in person rather than as a hologram.” 

You both chuckled lightly. “The feeling is mutual, Master. It’s...it’s good to be back.” Your eyes wandered over the people that roamed about. Jedi Masters walked with their Padawans at their side. Distant memories resonated within you. Some time ago that was once you and your Master, the man who stands before you know who has grown significantly older. Then again, so have I, you thought to yourself. 

Unbeknownst to you, you weren’t the only one registering your growth. Obi-Wan stood behind a pillar, glancing over the hanger in search of a familiar face. He was aware it would not be the same face he knew as a young boy, but he certainly was not prepared for what he saw. 

You look older, which was the obvious and expected observation. He noted how you wrapped yourself in your cloak, similar to how you would in your youth. You stood tall in front of Master Windu, another trait you had kept since your days as a Padawan. He remembered how you would always act mature in the presence of Masters, something he never really understood until becoming a Jedi Knight. The need for approval by the superiors was a constant.

It wasn’t just your appearance that had changed either. He could feel it in the Force. There was a shift in it when you had landed that made an excited yet nervous chill run down his spine. You were stronger and held more control in your signature. 

Before, he remembers being able to feel it from across the Temple. Now, it was barely there. He remembers feeling your bond drift farther as he watched you leave, and how it had dimmed over the years you were gone. He remembers the pain that tortured him every night as he laid awake in bed, trying to reach out across the stars but only being met with the vast emptiness of space. There was something in him that broke the first time he slept without having a tendril of your force signature connected with his. He felt cold, resorting to sleeping in his Master’s quarters in an attempt to ease the loneliness. 

Overall, it would appear that nothing about you had changed, and yet it seemed everything was different. Almost everything. 

His eyes were just as blue as the last time you saw them. They looked tired, haunted by the ongoing war but still filled with determination. Classic Obi-Wan. 

You quickly broke eye contact the moment it was made, but that one second was more than enough for Obi-Wan to get lost in the familiar colour. His favourite colour in fact, not that he would ever admit you had any part in the decision. 

“Master Obi-Wan?” 

He jumped at the sound of a voice and suddenly became aware of the presence right next to him, that presence belonging to none other than Master Yoda. 

“Master Yoda! I er I was just...uh...looking...for Anakin! Yes, uh have you seen him around by any chance?” Obi-Wan quickly tried to cover his stutter, feeling embarrassed about getting caught gazing from afar. Not that Master Yoda would know he was looking at you...right?

“I see,” the little green creature smirked in amusement. “Whatever it is, wait it can. Council meeting about to begin there is.” 

Obi-Wan furrowed his eyes. Typically he was able to keep a good track of the meetings, but this was news to him. “What’s it about?” 

“Master Y/l/n.”  

“Hmm?” You hummed absentmindedly.  

“Are you listening?” Master Windu raised an eyebrow.

“Oh uh, my apologies Master. I’m just...readjusting.” You tried to focus your attention on what Master Windu was saying, but the recognition of his presence made it difficult. For years, you tried to forget about him. You ignored the empty feeling in your stomach at night, the thoughts and memories that plagued your dreams. After some time, they eventually began to fade but never forgotten. It was for the best. 

Master Windu crossed his arms. “There will be plenty of time for that after your debrief of the mission. Master Yoda and the rest of the council await.”

Oh, Force, not the council. 

You would never dare to admit or even show it, but the council and being in the council room had always intimidated you. How could it not? You had to stand in the center of all the best Jedi of that era while they stare at you, judging you, sitting high and mighty in those stupid chairs.  

“This way, my old Padawan.” 

You followed Master Windu through the large halls of the Jedi Temple. You masked the nervousness that was no doubt radiating from your force signature. A multitude of thoughts ran through your mind, good and bad. Worst case scenario, you had done something so wrong that you were about to be kicked out of the Jedi Order. Nothing came to mind when you tried to think of any offence you had committed in the recent weeks since you earned the title of Jedi Knight. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of the large council room doors opening, the creaking of the hinges made you cringe slightly.  

The room was ominously lit, the only light source being the setting sun shining through the glass windowed walls. Master Yoda sat in his seat. All the other chairs were empty. 

Master Windu took his seat as you stood before the two of them. He could see the questions rise from your confused facial expression. “Everything we discuss in this room stays between us, young Jedi.” 

You nodded, inhaling and exhaling slowly in an attempt to calm yourself. “Master Windu, Master Yoda. What is this about? Have I done something wrong?” 

The two men looked at each other and shared an unreadable expression before turning back to you. Master Yoda was the first to speak. “Sending you on a mission we are. To Gyfill you will go.” 

Whatever anxieties that you held before were washed away with this information. You contain your excitement, but the sudden mood shift was still noticeable. “Who am I going with? When do we leave? What’s the mission for?” It was rare that a Jedi would be sent on a mission alone, typically you were partnered up for safety measures. Obi-Wan’s face flashed in your mind, and although it was unlikely, a small part of you hoped he would be going with you. 

“This mission only requires one Jedi. There’s a Separaist organization on the planet and we’re sending you to gain intel and report back to us. No one outside of this room can be aware of this information. You leave within the week. Understood?” 

You frowned, “Forgive me Master, but why can’t anyone know?” The idea of having to leave your home seemingly without a trace made you iffy. Obi-Wan once again appeared in your mind. 

Master Windu and Yoda exchanged a look before Windu responded almost hesitantly. “We have reason to believe someone in the Order is a traitor, and the number of people who are trustworthy is very limited.” 

“You mean someone has betrayed us?” You asked in shock. How could anyone do such a thing? And a Jedi nonetheless. 

“Time to answer your questions, there will be, young one. Prepare for your first mission now, you must.” Master Yoda said. “Prepare to say goodbye you should.” 

It was as IF he could read your mind, which he probably could. You dreaded the idea of saying goodbye, especially when it was clear that there was no guarantee of your return date. How would you explain to your friends that you won’t be around anymore? What will Obi-Wan think? 

“That is another subject that needs to be discussed.” 

————————————————————————————

what else needs to be discussed? who’s the traitor? how will obi-wan and y/n get on after all this time? lemme know what you think!!

taglist: @queenariesofnarnia @dwarfplanet69 @katsukink @blondekel77 @generousrunawaydonut @fandomtrashwhore @fortheloveofaqueenfan @mrskenobi19 @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @hotleaf-juice

[chidoroki]

Isabella - 73584

I had a serious debate with myself over whether or not I wanted to sit down and spend my weekend writing another one of these praise posts. I was content with just doing one for each of the Fullscore Trio kids and ending it there.. but apparently I love this woman too much to just ignore her on her birthday. So here were are on September 9th with a list of all her best and my personal favorite moments as to why I believe she’s such a great character, antagonist and mother (yeah you heard me right). Considering she only shows up in the beginning and very end of the story, this post ended up longer than I originally anticipated, which just goes to show how many thoughts I really have about this woman. (for real, this rivals Ray’s post in terms of points but there’s far more words)

Since she also has some backstory and certain events differ between manga and anime (thanks to the second season), I’ll try to go in chronological order between both timelines instead of chapter by chapter, which might be a bit confusing as we’ll jump around the story a lot but just to bear with me as I try to makes sense of it all.

(spoilers for the entirety of The Promised Neverland & ch181.7, so if you haven’t read/completed the manga yet, consider this your first warning, because I’m literally going from start to finish with this one last time. I promise.)

- I’m not sure how well she compares to Emma when it comes to athleticism, but Isabella seemed to have no trouble climbing up and down trees when she was younger.

- Not only that, but she managed to scale the wall by herself using a method that requires a fairly impressive jump. It’s also implied that this is how she climbs the wall again so many years later when chasing the soon-to-be escapees, which helps prove that even at an older age, she hasn’t lost her touch.

- Was chosen to undergo training to become a Mom, which required high test scores and the current mother’s recommendation. She accepted the offer in order to keep living and survive as human the demons couldn’t eat.

- Based on Sienna’s comment, is it fair to say Isabella is on par with the full score trio? I mean, the woman is basically flawless.

- She was practically untouchable during her time at headquarters while training too apparently. Mom positions are scarce so the environment where these ladies fight (physically/mentally/emotionally) to even snag that job is highly competitive, and yet Isabella never let anyone deter her from her goal of becoming a Mom, which probably led to the “Iron Lady” nickname she received now that I think about it.

- She was the youngest ever to be granted the Mom position at..what, 19? 20? Somewhere around there, but impressive nonetheless considering they’re forced to have a child, build up a strong, emotionless exterior and endure so much fear. (but my goodness, the woman doesn’t age at all. she looks just as good when the story actually starts as she did her when she was a bit younger)

- It became common knowledge among the Sisters that she was also very successful in the way she raised her children.

- Her success greatly benefited the farm, as she offered up countless high quality goods, which sounds terrible, I know, but believe me when I say she gave her best effort for her children. Even though she held the Mom position, the amount of power she actually had in this system was pretty minimal, especially with how much she valued her own life. She couldn’t afford to make any mistakes or risky changes, so she settled with doing the most with what she was capable of. She provided her children with a normal lifestyle, not only to keep up the orphanage facade, but knowing that their lives would all be cut shorter than they anticipate. She gave them love in hopes that no one would ever have to feel the dread she felt after Leslie’s death and/or finding out the truth. She tried to delay that horrific fate by encouraging them to learn all they can (like teaching the trio about strategy and chess) so they could achieve higher tests scores and (unknowingly to them) add a couple more months or years onto their lives. Yes it was her job to raise these children to such high standards but she excelled at it for their sake too.

- And I know y’all will just throw Ray in my face like, “oh but he was her actual child and she treated him horribly/different.” Okay but deep down I don’t think she actually wanted to? When they both realized they were truly mother and son, Isabella couldn’t just dote on him and start treating him as such. I’m sure Ray wasn’t too fond of Isabella at this point in his life either, knowing that she sent several of his siblings away to get killed. They probably would’ve gotten along just fine in a perfect world, but since they were both aware of the hell they’re trapped living in, they emotionally distanced themselves and formed a business-like relationship as a result of Ray’s deal, which benefited them both in different ways. For Ray, it was more practical, with the obvious notion of living as long as possible along with obtaining various rewards and knowledge of the outside world. For Isabella, it helped emotionally by simply just ignoring their true relation. I believe if she clung to that realization, it would break the orphanage illusion and eventually wear down her “Iron Lady” exterior that she relies so heavily on.

- Like can you imagine how much you would have to harden your heart in order to quite literally walk children to their death every couple months for years on end and just move on like it’s completely normal? Now imagine how earth shattering it must be to think about doing the same to your actual child. All those years spent perfecting a fake smile and emotionless exterior like she was trained to have and her son shatters it in an instant. She becomes completely terrified about how he’s actually alive and in front of her right now and there’s nothing she can do to truly save him.. and yet she still recovers so damn quickly I can’t even comprehend it! But there’s still some sadness in those eyes. You can’t tell me otherwise. That one moment of weakness speaks volumes to me.

- So now with her general backstory FINALLY out of the way, we can finally start with ch01/ep01 and how her laugh is sweet and innocent. I say that because (all hidden emotions and motives aside) that’s exactly how she’s supposed to sound in this moment, not only to us but to the children as well.

- She of course checks Emma’s tracker a moment later but other than that I still think it’s a pretty genuine moment between the two.

- As previously stated, her ability to raise high quality children is unmatched, which is clear as day thanks to the fullscore trio.

- Despite their crazy level of intelligence, the trio has yet to win a simple game of chess against Isabella, even when teamed up.

- She treasures everything about the kids.

- She really cares about them, even when it’s time to send them off with a smile, which we know is thanks to her strong facade.

- But mother dearest isn’t really fine. She doesn’t like walking kids to their death, especially so young. But she can’t let them (or even herself) know that. She can’t show weakness, so she hums Leslie’s song, which is a tool she’s used for years in order to give herself strength.

- Don’t worry, I disliked her this moment happened too, just as the story intended. And here’s where her fantastic antagonist role begins for all the world to see.

- A true champ at jump scares.

- Acts completely calm the night after a couple of kids found out the secret of the farm.

- She uses the tracker in plain sight, sending whomever went to the gate last night a threatening but silent message.

- Correct Norman, that’s the “Iron Lady” for ya. Also the name of ch03 for us. Well, “The Iron Woman” but same difference.

- She switches from calculating and manipulative breeder to sweet and pleasant mother so quickly and effortlessly it’s incredible. Isabella even checked Emma’s pulse in this scene to see if she was acting normal.

- At this point she still had no idea who went to the gate (Ray didn’t tip her off yet, at least I don’t think so) but her guess couldn’t have been more precise. The level of fear she drives into both Emma and Norman was great too, but then again her presence is enough in any scene to give us chills.

- Notices her watchdog isn’t at his usual post and starts to get suspicious.

- Not only of him, Emma and Norman, but Don and Gilda as well, thus giving the five extra chores to finish in an attempt to slow down any escape planning, such as cleaning vacant rooms, organizing the pantry and inspecting spare linen.

- While the trio believes Isabella was being too soft and patient in finding her targets, she effectively catches them off guard by bringing in Krone for assistance. The trio soon realize they were actually preparing the sister’s new room and those mundane chores were just an excuse to buy time.

- Look at her, all smug. Checkmate indeed. (and totally not important, but her eyes are such pretty shades of purple)

- The sass and her no nonsense attitude.

- Immediately puts Krone in her place the moment she even thinks about shipping out the targets. Of course holding off on shipping the targets would benefit the farm, as it would produce higher quality merchandise as time passes, but plant 3 is run by Isabella and she’ll be damned if an assistant thinks they could waltz right in and decide her children’s fate.

- She check’s Emma tracker again despite her claim of knowing exactly who the targets might be. You can never be too careful.

- Her precious children managed to win a game of tag against Krone, which is still impressive considering the kind of training the sister has gone through, so kudos to her teachings.

- Knows right away that Krone was trying to take advantage, which allows Krone to realize that the opening she had to learn more about the children was all planned by Isabella herself. Her intimidating nature is enough to scare adults too.

- Reveals that Krone was mostly summoned in order to keep Ray in check after his failure.

- Despite the trust issue, Isabella still keeps up her end of the deal by requesting the items Ray asked for, thanks to the odd perks she had under Grandma Sarah which allowed her to order goods that weren’t on the supply list.

- This hug between her and Phil is just too cute not to mention.

- I imagine she makes this comment because she knows exactly how long a rope must be based off her own almost-escape.

- It’s just something about how this scene is framed alongside this dialogue that makes me think “oh, like mother, like son.”

- I blame her very thoughtful planning for my first big freak out when I watched season 1 blind, like ma’am that’s my favorite boy, please don’t.

- She conspires with Grandma Sarah in order to get rid of Krone for good, which renders the evidence sister just found out about the children’s escape completely useless. Sarah believes there might be some truth to it, but ultimately ignores it and puts her faith in Isabella’s ability of controlling the children & the situation.

- She then cuts Ray off and ends their six-year long deal, opting to control the situation herself from now on. Also, how she wanted to keep him around until the very end is kinda bittersweet. Does she mean as merchandise? Or because she wanted him to live as long as possible? Ah such a tricky little comment.

- She also tosses him across the room like a rag doll.

- Thank god for this panel existing and actually being adapted into the anime so I could hear it because I had absolutely no memory of her laughing in this moment.

- “She says it so nonchalantly,” Norman said once upon a time, and it’s still so frightening.

- As insane as her ideals seem given the circumstances, nothing she says here is really a lie.

- She has the strength to quite literally break a leg and that cracking noise still haunts me to this day.

- It wasn’t even a spur of the moment thing either. Isabella came fully prepared with bandages to fix up any injury she was willing to inflict and that thought alone is terrifying.

- Not only that, but she broke it so cleanly that Emma’s leg does indeed heal perfectly in the exact time frame she estimates. This entire moment is so unfairly impressive, like ma’am how dare you do this to Emma of all people.. like why couldn’t you at least use that kind of force to snap Peter’s neck instead or something?

- To make matters worse, she then reveals Norman’s shipment date. And it’s the following day, which sends the kids into a very understandable panic.

- Needless to say, November 2nd, 2045 was a very successful day in the life of Isabella. Woman was putting everyone in checkmate in ep08 and my anger on full blast.

- This sly smile she sends Ray’s way after announcing Norman’s shipment to the younger kids is so cruel.. it’s perfect.

- I can only imagine she asked about Ray’s whereabouts because she knew the boys were close friends and she hoped they would at least say goodbye to one another, but that’s just me.

- Puts an end to Norman’s parting words in such a simple and chilling matter.

- The way she just openly threatens Emma with others just out of earshot.

- Norman out here asking the real questions. If anything, I say she’s more “content” rather than happy. I don’t think she’s ever really thought about her own happiness, at least not often enough, hence the slight pause. This entire time she’s been focusing on how to make her children’s lives perfect, but for herself she just wants to survive in this hellish world they’re all living in.

- I’m honestly still not sure who’s final decision it is to send people to Lambda, either Isabella, Peter or someone else (honestly never bothered to check), but whether or not Isabella had any say in the matter, I’m sure she’s at least a little glad that Norman gets to live a bit longer? Perhaps that’s a stretch, but I’m putting the idea here anyway.

- I say this because I believe that’s part of the reason why she offered Emma a Mom recommendation, not only because our girl’s high test scores, but in hopes that she could live a longer life.

- Although she really stresses in an intimidation fashion how pointless Emma’s efforts are now that Norman’s “dead,” the cliff remains a major hazard and her leg is still bandaged up, Isabella still tries so hard to convince her to give up, like Ray has, in order for Emma to end her own suffering. It was the first instance during my blind watch-through were I started to get the hint that Isabella might actually care about her kids, and of course I know now it’s because she didn’t want Emma to experience the same pain she did after Leslie’s death.

- With Emma and Ray both broken, things went by rather smoothly for Isabella those last two months, though she continued to keep a close eye on them.

- Her humming is so soothing. And why it took me this long to bring up “Isabella’s Lullaby” is beyond me, but oh my god, that song and any other soundtrack that uses its melody is absolute perfection.

- Had enough sense to not let her guard down the final night, even though her efforts were ultimately unsuccessful, but the idea counts.

- Though her caretaker side is focused on more during the fire, some motherly instincts do kick in as she instructs Gilda to get the babies from her room and lead everyone outside to safety. She was also concerned for Emma’s well being, hoping all the smoke didn’t get to her when the girl vanished. (i know you can argue “she’s only worried because they’re merchandise” which is fair but c’mon, i swear she’s not completely heartless)

- Took a hot minute (ahha) but Isabella eventually realized that the kids were actually escaping solely based on what they were wearing on their feet. I’m sure Emma’s discarded left ear was a big tip off too but to come to that conclusion by noticing the shoes they had on during all that chaos is surprising.

- She looks completely insane here but I always thought this shot of her was nicely animated with all the fire (or embers? sparks? whatever they are) flying around. The laugh she does before this is also a nice bonus. Oh, and she somehow managed to secure a radio from the room Don had locked.

- Figured the fifteen kids would head towards the bridge and called in headquarters to block it off.

- But when the children didn’t appear at the bridge, she just happened to know exactly where else they might try to cross the cliff.

- In the anime’s case, Isabella climbed the wall and ran there quick enough to engage in a stare down with Emma before she finally slid down.

- The moment I knew I was doomed.

- After the 15 kids successfully escaped, Isabella admits defeat, for she couldn’t really see how much her children have grown to outsmart her.

- This iconic quote, which conveys so much truth and sincerity. There were multiple occasions where she had to distance and restrain herself due to the system that controlled her, but the love she was able to show the children was genuine. If she wasn’t held back by the strict rules enforced by Mom position, I don’t doubt she would’ve treated Ray better or became far more emotional whenever a child had to leave for good or seriously injured, instead of donning a fake smile and being closed off.

- She realizes with this unspeakable loss in merchandise, the reputation she worked so hard to build up is meaningless now and that the farm no longer has any use for such an incompetent caretaker. She figures she’s as good as dead anyway now, so she wastes no time in actually helping the escapees by reclaiming the ropes to hide their exact method and route of escape, if only to grant the kids some extra time before the pursuers really locate them.

- She doesn’t act bitter as a result of her loss, instead choosing to wish the escapees luck with the future they grasped for themselves and care for the children that were left behind.

- She’s just so pretty y’all. Thank you anime.

- She was named “Best Antagonist” (and rightfully so!) back during the 2020 Crunchyroll Anime Awards, winning over Askeladd (Vinland Saga), Overhaul, (My Hero Academia), Garoua (One Punch Man,) & others.

(Post-season 1 spoilers ahead, even though the anime is completely finished at this point, but will be touching upon her special chapter more as well.)

- Completely owns up to her mistakes that caused the farm a massive loss in profitable goods and is ready to received whatever punishment necessary, which she expects to be death.

- Only.. she’s not being killed, she’s actually being promoted to Grandma. Though Isabella was directly responsible for the children’s escape, the blame ultimately falls on Sarah who couldn’t correctly control Isabella, thus leading the old lady to be shipped out in place of the goods Isabella lost.

- Peter also notes that the farm found more worth in Isabella than Sarah, so her past merits also played a part in sparing her life, as having a woman like Isabella in charge would surely produce the level of quality the farm needs.

- Isabella eventually accepts the promotion, though she can’t help but feel hesitant and shocked about the whole deal. This woman was ready to embrace death and finally be free from this cruel world, but now she has to witness not only more kids being shipped off, but moms and sisters in training as well (yay old chapter reviews coming in clutch).

- She could have very well just refused Peter’s offer, but we all know how much Isabella originally wanted to survive, so she doesn’t just accept because this man dangled a sense of freedom in her face, she also agreed so she could have the opportunity to help her children in any way her newfound power would allow her.

- Of course, her transition to Grandma happens a bit differently in the second season, but I will give some bittersweet thanks to the anime once more for the obvious but curse them for also having this entire scene dark as hell. Let me see her beauty darn it! I can only fix the lighting so much until it looks overexposed and bad again.

Anyways, Sarah is still alive at this point and taunts Isabella with the escapee’s lives just to see how she would react, which gave her a small sense of hope. Then some demons pay a visit later on and also ask if she would want to see the children one last time, but Isabella tells them that not only would she be too ashamed to face them but that they would manage to survive Grandma’s capture plan, which involved several men blowing up their shelter. It’s now clear to the demons that these children are special, and while Isabella agrees, it’s not for the same reason the demons think so. The demons believe the kids are special because of how they were raised to such a high quality. Isabella calls them special simply because they’re her children, just as any mother would.

- In the anime, it’s the demons who offer Isabella the Grandma deal if Sarah’s current plan were to fail (which it does) and she takes it and the freedom from Grace Field House without question. Do I still believe she had similar intentions to help out the children like she did in manga at this point? Of course.

- Not even a full month into her new job did she start preparing to help Emma & the others by considering who from the current Sisters she wanted to recruit to personally assist her destroy the farm entirely.

- A month later and Isabella had already decreased the number of shipments that took place at Grace Field, which obviously helps raise the quality of the children by default, but it also means less death and gives those kids a chance to live longer.

- She completely anticipated that Matilda, Jessica, Sienna & Scarlet were conspiring against her and caught them quite easily, as they were among the top scorers.

- Each had a fair chance at becoming Moms but with those positions limited, it was obvious to figure out they were trying to force Isabella’s seat open by creating some suspicious activity to place on her almost perfect record. Unfortunately for the girls, our new Grandma is too smart for her own good and I love it.

- The four women are apprehensive to join her insane plan to go against the farm, but Isabella assures them there’s no freedom if they follow the system’s rules and betray her. The harsh reality they’re all living in will continue unless they stop competing with one another and combine forces to defeat the true enemy.

- To persuade them further, Isabella mentions the children they all gave birth to are still alive, bringing out an array of emotions from the women that they each thought they had buried deep down.

- THIS! Just all of this is wonderful and shows just how much Isabella learned from her children who once defeated her.

- To fully gain the women’s trust, she gives them Ray’s farewell note that he originally left in order to bait Krone, as proof she won’t double-cross them at any point.

- I love the fact that she kept the note close to her because it acts just like all the other various toys and items she saved in her secret room back at plant 3. The original owners were all precious to her so she kept a piece of them behind to remember them in a place only she knew about. As I said before when mentioning her “I wish I could have just loved them normally” quote, all the love she had for her children had to be suppressed when she was under the system’s control, but that doesn’t mean she never cared. Because she did, and if I haven’t made at least that clear by now then I’m failing.

- Can her intentions and love for her children be any more clear? (possibly, i’m not done with this darn post yet. how you guys holding up? i’m going a little insane at this point.)

- Anyways! Second season didn’t make the rest of the story easy so apologies for any timeline mishaps as I switch between both anime and manga events from here on out.. like how in manga Isabella is informed of the escapee’s return to Grace Field via Peter, while the in the anime it’s her who helps lures them back with a fake transmission via the radio they stole.

- Just before Emma & the others do return to Grace Field on November 13, Isabella finally reaches out to the farm’s many other Sisters to recruit them. She waited until the right moment to inform them of her crazy takeover plan so Peter wouldn’t become suspicious from all of headquarters acting/thinking differently (you know, like how Emma kept the jailbreak plan under wraps until the night of). These ladies also feel a bit wary and even think of Isabella’s offer as a joke, but with some real, heartfelt encouragement, she manages to win over every single woman to her side.

- The moment when it was first revealed to us that she was not only still alive but was also promoted to Grandma is still so powerful.

- She snaps Nat’s finger back into place after Peter broke it. (and considering emma’s group infiltrates the farm right after this, i’m pretty sure that ch170 with rallying the sisters took place before this..i think?)

- Gave me a minor heart attack.

- *CLAPS FRANTICALLY!!!* The moment she truly won me over.


- While her betrayal against Peter in the manga is fantastic and quite possibly one of my favorite moments, the anime did give us a little something too. It shows Peter spewing utter nonsense to Emma about how she’s destined to fail, only for best girl to bite back with such a fantastic quote, and then Isabella drops the act and switches sides. While I agree Emma’s comeback is “wonderful,” it’s the English dub that completely wins me over in this scene by having Isabella comment “Now that’s my girl” instead, like bro.. hearing that makes me so happy.

- For real dude, you have several highly skilled women pointing guns at you, I think her betrayal is crystal clear.

- This is like the perfect example of how she had to conceal her feelings while bound by the system. She just misses these kids so much y’all but she can’t let her true emotions show yet.

- Having her call Peter a boy is beyond hilarious to me. Also, how she disagrees with him on so many levels is excellent, like how he believes in experimenting on kids and having the right to call yourself their parent just because you created them, while Isabella believes in raising and loving children normally and that you earn that parent title by actually being part of their lives. To be fair they both inflicted pain on kids (Nat’s finger/Emma’s leg) but Peter’s action was a mistake in itself. Isabella got frustrated back when Krone even threatened to ship out the kids who discovered the secret, so you can bet she’s probably pissed off at this boy for harming one of her kids on purpose.

- The best mother-daughter moment ever! It’s such a shame it never got truly animated since the second season decided not to give the children guns, but we get to see a small smile from Isabella after Emma decided to still call her “mom.”

- The anime never gave Peter the chance to run away, like he (somehow) managed to do in manga, so we had the chance to see someone actually shoot at him. Well, in his general direction at least. Isabella lands a perfect shot not even a full second after he pulls out that disc. Accuracy on point.

- Said this once or twice in the past in manga so I’m glad the anime brought it back.

- Remains cautious and keeps her gun raised at Peter when Emma approaches him and rightfully so considering he still had his knife hidden at this point.

- Refuses Emma’s offer to join the kids in the human world at first because she knows that her (& the sister’s) actions shouldn’t be forgiven so easily, but with some rather blunt sympathy from Ray and encouragement from her other children, she finally gives in.

- This entire post summed up in one image.

- She apologizes even though distancing herself from her kids and preparing them for death were just required of her role as a caretaker. She wouldn’t have done any of that in a normal world. (do i sound like a broken record yet? probably)

- The emotion you hear in her voice during this entire dub scene hits my heart in all the right places.

- She still thinks of Leslie after all this time and I think that’s real cute.

- Her protective nature is on full display when she protects Emma from this bastard of a demon. A truly surprising and heartbreaking moment, considering this is the woman who’s survival used to be her top and only priority in the past, but now doesn’t hesitate to give her life in order to save her kid (and by extension that small girl emma saved. also, major heart attack for me).

- Despite being critically injured, this woman still possess enough strength to hold back a demon twice her size. She doesn’t even pay any mind to its nonsense. Like the demon, people often think this is when redemption arc starts but I believe it started way back in ch37 when Isabella retrieved and hid the ropes the kids used to escape. Ever since she admitted defeat on the wall that night, she threw caution to the wind and began cheating the system in hopes to one day assist the kids achieve a brighter future. Despite all the work she’s done behind the scenes, Isabella believes there’s still so much more she can do to atone, so even though she’s already received the children’s forgiveness, she continues to assist them by jumping in and saving them directly from demons for once in her life.

- Ma’am it’s sweet you’re so concerned with their safety, but we should be asking you that question ya know? (but then again emma was the same way after she woke up from her coma).

- Knows that just apologizing and saving Emma isn’t enough to suddenly forgive all her actions and wants to do so much more for the children as a result. Even though I already acknowledged all her subtle and hidden moments, I wish we got to see her care for them more openly.

- I simply can not read through ch177 and not get emotional. No matter how hard I try, I always feel tears start to form in my eyes. Oh my god, how cruel that death can be this beautiful. It’s so unfair.

- *uses old chapter review because I’m too upset right now* “She apologizes for everything. For not treating him right and loving him as a mother normally would her own son. For making him despise his life so much and enduring so much pain that he thought the only escape was suicide.”

- “She leaves him with one last wish to protect everyone, and that completely breaks me because you know exactly how much they both care for their family. Not only would they literally die for their family, but they would live for them too if someone asked. Truly like mother, like son.” (aaaaaahhhhh)

- Her, umm.. ghost (along with Conny’s & Yuugo’s) help Ray reunite with Emma in 2049.

- All my tears aside, the anime did something right by actually keeping her ALIVE!

- Have you ever seen something so GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL in all your life?? This image is so powerful it literally tossed aside any salty feelings I had that night with how the second season ended. Seeing her like this grants me so much happiness y’all, it’s truly unbelievable. I still can’t get over it and hopefully I never will.

Okay, now I’m done, thank god. Sorry this is like ridiculously long, especially since she’s absent for sooo many chapters. Also find it so hilarious how drastic my opinion of her changed from the beginning to now, from “bitch” to “oh my god I love her so much.” I know people will always have opposing opinions whether she’s actually a good mother or not and that’s totally fine. Wasn’t trying to convince y’all of that either because yes, some of her actions are real unforgivable, but she was suffering under the farm system too and just followed through with what she was trained to do in order to survive, but while other Sisters fought to climb ranks and help themselves survive, Isabella ultimately wanted the best for her children. The more power she gained, the more risks she took and once the system crashed so did her facade.

An absolute queen.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 111

sigh~~~ I feel that my recent posts are a bit negative towards the anime, but thats cuz the chapters I’ve read so far are either unbelievably important character depth content cut for no valid reason or content in the anime but packed with million other things that it lost its purpose or importance. Basically tohu’s ep 6 which consists of 4 chapters & now ep 5 which is a momiji ep & yup, packed with 4 chapters as well... so, I apologize for any negativity, my intention is just analyzing artistic & story-telling aspects, I love se03, but yeah it screwed up lots of important characters due to its not so thorough plot decisions & harmful character insight choices.

today.. we explore Momiji... but only before his curse breaks.

Furuba anime struggling to know how to design an episode based on various plot-heavy chapters?

so, they decided 13 eps, & decided one ep for momiji cuz motoko’s graduation & the fanclub is the core of the furuba & have already cut tons of tohru, cuz who cares? she’s kind. be like her. end of lesson. No. really, jokes aside, how to do this?

How to combine several chapters in one ep? collect small snippets from chosen chapters/content like a bee does flowers? you gotta skip some content, you gotta highlight others. The ep is only 20 min after all & you got an op & Ed that you cant always skip.... so.. furuba team decide that momoji’s ep should be true to his zodiac animal, this is the rabbits last appearance in spirit. so, they went with quick hopping from one chapter to the other like a rabbit?

No really, ep 5 is really like a rabbit in its flow, you can’t savior a moment enough before jumping to the other: we learned momiji grew up!! loves toheu romantically, challenged kyo, really meant it, wanted a fair love game, got freed, lost tohru romantically & faced momiji! but that’s not all? we still have space!! quick add akito’s moodiness & love triangle with her dog & her submissive bed partner, add a happy comedy for no reason whatever & make shigue kiss tohru & wish shes 'was his lover instead!!!!!!!!! Mind you all this happened in the anime before shigure hurt tohru with his “the truth of the zodiacs talk & them accepting & feeling consolance that kyo is doomed”talk. 

-Gets whats my biggest surprise after reading this chapter ?????????

Shigure is consistent!! He isnt a rabbit hopping here & there. The dog is loyal & is tired for good reason! Him being depressed & his weird talk with thoru makes so much sense given the manga’s order.

Kyo is consistent!! In the anime, momiji surprise him with confession he loves tohru & challenge him, then kyo la~la~la~joins them downstairs for curry. Not a single expression on his face, where is the expression? it will appear when the plot is forced to address it: by the end of the ep when momiji face hin again. Then we get kyo’s reaction.

I need someone to tell the anime that actions require a reaction. You can refrain from showing a certain reaction if you can’t address it now, but you can’t erase it, negate it, then make it appear when have to!!!! couldn’t they make kyo refuse to join them & eat together? the     other characters wont be surprised they think he’s needlessly moody. The audience will know that kyo is troubled with momiji’s challenged & it will excite them!!! having kyo just go eat & watch the momiji/hiro/haru/yuki comedy skit is weird.

The manga’s author wanted kyo to join the dinner, like the anime did. but huge difference. the author actually cares for logic reaction & understands that the audience aren’t dumb little kids that will sit & wait for kyo’s turn to...react! nope! she did this: (a) & (b) below.

-Lost Small Bits/ Panels from the chapter.. But Sadly Big Huge Chunks for Characters buildup & Growth:

(a) addressed the fact the hiro noticed kyoru is in love & dressed that shigure was right!! the cat being in love is a weird concept to the zodiacs! hiro reacted naturally & the author used hiro to flesh yuki’s (the rat), momiji’s (the rabbit) & haru’s (the cow) decision to silently watch the kyo (the cat) makes his own decisions to live!!! They won’t interfere or tell akito or remind him of his state as the doomed caged cat. So sad this moment is cut from yuki. Why must yuki only interact with kyo to beat him (all seasons)? why must yuki only think of kyo to envy him (all seasons) ? Here, yuki’s growth towards kyo as a person & his relationship with tohru is 1000 times better than all tohru is my mom’s sh!t & I envy kyo’s Sh!t we saw in the anime over & over till we memorized it.

(b) kyo didnt just go la~la~eat with momiji after knowing he loves tohru. Nope, there’s small bits missing: called logical emotional reaction. He was surprised he’s caught pining over tohru! cuz yuki, the audience representative, has told us in the previous chapter that ppl in love dont notice anything around them. Kyo thinks him being cold hid his feelings. the dummy’s feelings are as bright as the sun in the Sahara, tohru too. a child read her! such small thing that wont take much space from the ep but was cut cuz kyo only needs to be responsive at the ep’s end. & this scene of kyo & tohru looking awkwardly at each other is minor in space but so important cuz kyo is determined to let go but his decision is challenged by not only momiji, but his natural attraction to tohru. Here he knows he’s caught & exposed... here he knows momiji is a better choice for tohru cuz he wont didn’t hurt her mom... here he knows that even yuki is better cuz never had to pretend to be cold to her... here he knows the world is better than him... & here he just cant help by smile & walks towards her... T_T ... another lesson in writing slow burns by Takaya-san.

-Why would the anime team pass on this?? drawing kyoru closer after the epic tear in Cinderella ep, cuz they want empty suspense~! The anime team thinks that if kyo & tohru stand next to each other, then it means all their issues are solved & the audience are so stupid as to forget tohru’s mom, kyo’s imprisonment, kyo not confessing his sins to tohru & tohru’s need to make a choice wether to fogive hom or not.. nope! you see, they think, ppl who read mangas are smart, so the author can give this epic symbolism & pp would still be not sure kyoru is end game & tohru will forgive him or kyo even fogive himself, but ppl who watch, oh no, gotta cut all the plot worthy content, produce a graduation song for a minor character, cut all kyo/tohru interaction cuz it only means romance & not at all character depth & oh if we show yuki actually formulating deep thoughts that aren’t centered around him, the audience might forget his se02 struggles! or that might ruin yuki’s upcoming growth moment in the finale where he .. you guessed it hits kyo.. as he always do & sulk &  think abt himself cuz yuki can only do monologues when he’s directly involved.... man~it is so sad how the anime is dumped down.. Who is the target audience again? not kids as young as hiro cuz even hiro is smart!

-just look:

 Momiji talks abt kyo shouldn't give up loving tohru & the authr shows this this ghost!!! his mom! The author reminds us that kyo isnt da~~~~ forgetting anything. He’s a deeply troubled soul & hos mom wants him locked cuz she too was locked in a cage & thinks that’s safer...why oh why you dump ur own story! sh!t~

Side Notes:

I like the closeups on Kisa’s face as she interacted with kyo. It’s very rare for kisa to have a world beside the endearing parental/big protective bro/big doting sister love she has with tohru & haru & off course the romantic love with hiro which was perhaps since their birth or sth. lol.  Kisa & kyo arent much on the brotherly side as they rarely interact, but its one of those  refreshing  interactions she has that helps cast a new light on her as tiny as it is,  but its sth out of the norm around her. She sees him  around tohru & gets to perceive his true unprovoked character. “He is  nice guy”.

I really wanted to punch kureno this chapter.. like Shigure is a jerk shitty dog for sleeping with akito’s mom but kureno... dude.. you submissively sleep with the guy’s eternal love interest & still walks in on him talking to her!!! lol. you’re mentally, emotionally & physically weaker than him & yet, she puts you on her bed, not him & you, tho not wanting her at all, dont walk away. No wonder shigure is defeated & wishing for someone like tohru, lol! Even if shigure met an older tohru-like person, it wont work. shigure deserve someone like him mean, schemer & loves playing power games. Tohru is someone who values honesty & commutation, not saying she’s an angel on earth, but tohru knows who suits her.. except fate is saying: NO. .... currently. lol.

I know kureno’s weakness is part of his character & I love that such characters exits. There are ppl ike that in real life. It’s just this chapter, I felt shigure’s frustration. XD

Yuki in this ep is the best yuki. no exaggeration here, I love when yuki is calmly thoughtful of others & here its kyo of all ppl !!!! cutting this scene is sad.. without it, kyo & yuki remain a cat & rat in the anime. Only ever thinking abt each other thro envious binoculars or hateful words or yuki giving kyo comedic hitting or life’s problem-solving hitting. Why can’t anime yuki be interactive outside his self-centered issues is beyond me.

Momiji & kyo’s interactions are always the best! whether comedy or drama.

I hated the curry cooking scene in the anime... so weirdly out of the ep’s flow.. very forced comedy... in the manga it had a purpose! not just quick add comedy cuz next shot momiji curse breaks & drama & we’ll close the ep with tears & sadness & glimpses of hope...

I love haru’s answer to hiro... so him.. “a guy can’t fall in love?”so chill.. so..simple.

[alistairkisser]

i'm late! but for Tabris for the OC ask meme: 8, 41, 48

omg i totally missed this but here we go

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

tabris didnt really have any pets as a child growing up in the alienage. i don't think she's a hardcore animal lover who NEEDS to have a pet per se, but she certainly likes animals in general and has a lot of respect for wild ones. naturally she has dog as an adult <3 who is of course now The King's Mabari. sort of indirectly all the other royal mabari could be considered her pets. also, she is officially pounce's co-parent, since he comes back to vigil's keep after anders leaves. nathaniel does a lot of the caretaking as well so i guess he's like the third co-parent but anders does not acknowledge this, so tabris is legally his mom. thinking about them gives me the warm fuzzies, i love them so much

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

tabris is bi because i'm incapable of making a heterosexual oc. i think above all else she values a caring and warm personality, and in a relationship (this goes for close platonic ones as well) she seriously needs someone to lean on and provide a soft, understanding place for her to come back to, as well as soften her sharp edges a little. i can't say i've ever thought much about what she finds particularly physically attractive, since i think the mental aspect is much more important to her!

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

i think she certainly COULD enjoy them if she was among friends, and i think alienage parties definitely would have been an important source of community for her. she isn't a complete wallflower, but also wouldn't be the center of attention; i think she would just mingle politely in a chill way. unfortunately after becoming warden-commander, she doesn't quite have the same opportunities for leisure, and has to attend important official functions in a relatively professional capacity. again, these can be enjoyable for her while among friends, but there is always the constant difficulty of being an elf in human-majority situations, and generally having to put on a mask (literal or figurative) and act in specific ways. that said, state functions are a great excuse to visit the capital and by extension alistair, and if i ever finish this WIP you will see why she is willing to put up with them

[sweetestlamb]

Bring Me To Life

Summary: Kang Sujin has never had anyone to turn to, hiding behind a façade her entire life. Someone begins to peek behind the mask. 

Author’s note: My two favorite characters in TB are Seojun and Sujin, both characters who are honestly treated like trash by the writers. I cannot begin to tell how upsetting it was to see Sujin’s character assassination or how painful it is to watch her being physically abused knowing that the writers will not give her therapy or a true happy ending. She’s just here to be beaten and vilified. Seojun, I won’t even rant everyone knows what the problem is (idk who told them we wanted to see Start-Up the high school edition.) So I wrote this after watching the most recent episode and hating most of it for these reasons. I don’t know how far it’ll go or how often I can update, but I need my two babies to have a happy ending preferably together because the visuals are just a dreammmm. 

The rain crashes down loudly from aggrieved storm clouds bellowing above her in the sky, the chilled condensation plastering her thin satin pajamas to her trembling body. She had to get out, the pain in her cheek numbing and electrifying all at once.

How dare she tell him that she didn't want to get married, want to stand on her own two feet without a man giving her value?

His hand had flown across the room before she could sidestep the blow, the fragile glass filled with water in her hand- the very reason she'd left her room in the dead of night- shattering into jagged pieces as it collided with a greater force. Just like her.

She hadn't been trying to eavesdrop but it was hard not to hear him chuckling deeply on the phone, offering up his only child like she was an item on a menu.

"Yes we should set them up. It seems Suho isn't interested and she should marry young, that's when women are worth the most."

Nausea rolled like waves in the pits of her stomach and before she could think logically, her feet were sprinting into the living room, air barely filling her lungs as she stared at the man she'd never once thought of as a father. The last time she'd made the grave mistake of calling him daddy he'd smacked her so hard that was how she lost her first tooth. He'd been father ever since or Mr. Kang. She tried her best to avoid him at all cost, she would never be good enough and it was getting harder to hide the marks he left behind.

It was difficult to remember clearly what occurred seconds after her refusal to marry a man she didn't know left her lips, his fist connected and she was knocked back onto their coffee table the sharp edge cutting at her cheek. As she looked at him, anger painting his face a demonic red, fear crippled her and her hands twitched desperately wanting to wash them raw. Then he grabbed a thick marble ashtray from the table and her instincts took over and she was out the door, running as fast as she could, knowing her life was at stake and she couldn't afford to stop.

When the cloud in her head cleared that was when she found herself at the bus stop.

Judgmental whispers breeze by her ears as people passed by with umbrellas, shocked to see the young girl crying in her pajamas at the stop, but none stopped to offer her help or inquire about her situation, happy just to pass judgement. She ignores them all, panicking racing through her blood until she's unable to breathe, choking on nothing as she twitches in the harsh air. Her throat constricts as she screams at herself, breathe. 

Breathe.

BREATHE! 

But it's useless as her body shuts down, forgetting how to do the basic function, she sways as she starts to feel light headed from the lack of oxygen and with a final wheeze she collapses. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He signs as he weaves past cars moving far too slowly, adrenaline rushing through his veins as he marginally misses nipping a car to the left of him, easily dragging his motorcycle away with the fluid movements of his body. He glares up at the sky before cursing, "Fucking weather report didn't say anything about a sudden rainstorm." If he'd known he would have stayed home, always hating the rain. It brought back bad memories.

Halting at a red light, he puts his leg down for balance bouncing slightly in place. Pulling the shield up on his helmet he glances around, recognizing the area easily, before something in his peripheral catches his attention, a lump on the ground. Tilting his head he revs his trusty iron steed to live, riding over to the direction of the mysterious mass on the wet ground. As he gets closer his heart falters, it's too evident now. 

It's a person.

Jumping off his bike and pushing out the kickstand he flings his helmet off, his hair immediately drenched under the downpour as he races over to help. As he nears the figure, it becomes clearer it's a woman wearing what looks like sleep clothes. Momentarily he wonders if this is a crazy person and if he should just mind his business but a frightening image of his little sister unconscious on the ground and no one coming to her aid flashes in his mind.

"I'll just check if she's breathing and call an ambulance. That's all, if she tries to attack me I'll just ride away." He takes a deep breath, collecting his courage before closing the gap between him and the unconscious woman.

Crouching beside her, he reaches out a hand hesitating before sighing and shaking at her cold shoulder. No response. He shakes harder now, watching the motion quake through her entire body, but still she is unresponsive.

"Hey! Hey! Are you okay? Wake up, you're scaring me!" He starts to jiggle her with both hands, before he crawls into her space not caring about his safety any longer, the idea that this unknown woman might be dead is making him nauseous. People are always dying without his permission. It's so frustrating.

"Wake up! Come on!" He shouts at the figure now holding both her shoulders and turning the woman over, lifting her face from its place on the ground, cradling her limp body in his lap. After two more vicious shakes, she starts to cough and groan in his arms. Relief swims through his veins as he watches her come back to life, anxiously watching as her dewy long lashes flutter open and he's caught in a lifeless deep gaze.

"Han Seo-Jun?"

It takes a long pause for him to register that the woman has said his name and then a longer moment to recognize who she is.

"Kang Su-Jin?" He replies in genuine shock, taking in the wom--young girl in his arms. She's shivering so violently that it's becoming difficult to hold onto her, vibrating out of his hold before he grips her tighter, whipping off his jacket without second thought and wrapping it around her. Goosebumps raising on his skin as his body mentally berates his lack of survival skills.

"What are you doing here?" She looks at him bewildered as if the stranger occurrence is his presence and not her own.

He squints his eyes looking back at her, "I could ask you the same thing. I found you unconscious here. I thought you were...." He trails off unable to utter the rest of his sentence.

"You should have left me here. Maybe I would have. If I was that lucky."

"What? Are you crazy, you want to die? Did you do this to yourself, what are you on?!" He roars at her, rage flooding his system as he shouts at the stupid girl, how dare she try to kill herself and leave her body for him to find? He wishes he had taken a different route, that he'd never come across her. He was in no state to comfort someone who was suicidal, still too raw and hurt. What was so hard about living that made people want to do that? Hot tears gather in his eyes as he abruptly pulls away from Sujin, unapologetic as she tumbles to the ground without his support.

She starts at him, stunned before righteous fury twists her features and she roars back at him.

"Who are you to judge me! I didn't ask you to help me, leave me alone!"

He glares back at her ready to yank his jacket away and run away from her but a small movement stops him, as she's screaming at him a small muscle twitches in her cheek bringing his attention to said cheek. It's nearly purple, standing out obscenely on her pale skin and then he notices the split lip and the bruises on her neck and he's so ashamed of himself he could bawl.

He deflates before speaking to her, "What happened to your face? Who did this to you?"

He doesn't know what kind of look he has on his face but before his questions can even settle between them she's sneering and twisting away from him, throwing his jacket on the ground before making her escape. Unprepared for her sudden departure he reacts too late, before chasing after her. It's easy to close the distance separating them with his long legs and within seconds she's merely inches in front of him, he reaches out a large hand to grab her wrist but hesitates recalling the bruises littering her frame. Instead he races past her, blocking her with his body swerving to the left and then the right when she tries to dodge him. They play this cat and mouse game before she finally gives up, glaring up at him with moist enraged eyes.

"Why do you care? We aren't even friends!"

Her piercing shout rings in his ears as he looks down at her passively. He can't answer that question, doesn't know what brought him to this area so late and not understanding why he was the one to find her in this condition. He doesn't know why he cares. But maybe things could have been different if Se-Yeon had someone to chase him. Maybe he'd still be alive...

So he answers her honestly.

"I don't want anymore people to die."

To his complete shock she starts to cry, tears falling rapidly from her eyes before she crumples to the ground, the rain pounding on her head and he stands still unsure of what to do before he drapes the jacket he'd rescued from the ground over her head, shielding her from most of the thunderous downpour. When she looks up to see the jacket protecting her, he almost falls backwards as her head slams into his chest, her tears simmering hot on his chilled body. It's almost painfully uncomfortable but he doesn't move away. Letting her cry on his chest, his shirt is soaked anyway this makes no difference.

He doesn't know how long they are crouched there on the ground, so dark that the sidewalk is completely devoid of anyone else, it feels like they are the only two people left on Earth.

"If we stay here you're going to get a cold."

He voices his concern but the only reply he receives is a gross sounding sniffle and he grimaces, knowing that his poor shirt is probably damaged beyond repair covered in snot and tears.

Sighing he starts to repeat himself before she whispers, "I don't have anywhere to go."

"I can take you home." Her fists tighten in his drenched shirt, he can practically feel the fear wafting off her, he'd assumed the marks on her face were from a possessive unhinged boyfriend but her reaction makes him uneasy. He tries to push those unpleasant thoughts to the corner.

"What about your friends? Why don't you call Su-ah or Ju-Kyung, I’m sure they’ll help you.” 

She stiffens in his arms before shaking her head in decline.

"No. I can't let anyone else see me like this. I don't need them looking at me the way you did, like I'm a sad pitiful puppy. I never want anyone look at me like that again."

He can respect that, he never wants to appear weak in front of others. It was easier to become angry and lash out rather than showing your true heart, nobody could hurt you that way.

"Then what? Where do you want to go?"

"I have nowhere to go. I'll stay here until morning. I'll be fine, you can go."

He looks at her dumbfounded, what kind of man would leave a battered woman alone in the rain? He wasn't raised by animals, damn it.

"Let's go." He makes a point not to touch her, their only point of connection are her hands twisted in his shirt.

"What?"

He bulldozes past her confusion, looking at her with what he hopes are comforting eyes.

"I'm taking you to my house. I can't just leave you here."

"Are you crazy? Don't you live with your mother and sister, what will they say?"

He winces at the logical inquiry, he had already considered that himself, thinking of his mother's subsequent smacks and his sister's teasing once they learned what he'd done but still deciding that he has no other choice. He can't just leave her here.

He shrugs, "That's my problem to worry about. I'm not leaving you here, I'd really like to get out of his rain. Let's go." He repeats himself harder, pleading with her.

She looks away and he's prepared to throw her over his shoulders and face the consequences when he hears her response, "Okay. Let's go."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's a quiet ride back, the engine rumbling through the aching bones of her frozen body. Han Seojun. The last person she ever expected to see after being roused from her panic induced collapse. Her arms tighten around his thin waist as he swerves around a car, adrenaline and fear battling for dominance in her body. When her fingers accidentally brush across wet bare skin she quickly moves her hands higher, fighting the embarrassment that washes over her.

If he notices she can't hear his reaction over the roar of the motorcycle.

When they finally pull up to a small apartment, she loosens her hold on him cracking her frozen digits.

"You didn't need to hold that tightly, I wasn't going to let anything happen to you. I ride this everyday you know."

She doesn't reply focusing on getting off the bike, swinging her leg over and hopping off not graceful but effective, a small proud smile spreads on her face before she gazes back at him.

He stares back before shaking his head, as if lost in a daze before he stomps off for her to follow.

Wordlessly she trails behind him, feeling foolish in her duck pajamas, a gift from Su-ah.

When he pushes his front door open, letting her in first she steps out of her sopping wet house slippers standing awkwardly looking around.

"Stay here. I'll get towels so we don't trail too much water."

She nods at his command, gazing at the floor and seeing how much water is already pooling around her feet.

"Here." He hands her a fluffy pink towel, she raises an eyebrow at the color.

"It's the guest towel. I wouldn't give you my towel."

That makes sense, sharing towels is far too intimate for the relationship they have. That being none. 

She rapidly towels at her hair, before running the towel down her body and wrapping it around her waist.

"You can use the bathroom. It's the second door on the right. I'll bring you dry clothes."

She steps cross the doorway, finally entering his home. Before she turns back to him staring directly into his eyes, "Than.... You didn't have to do this." She loses her confidence but his answering smirk lets her know he understood enough, with that she walks to the bathroom locking herself inside.

The sight of her bruised face in the mirror makes her pause, reaching up to finger at the stark purple mark on her cheek. She's crying before she can control her emotions, tears dripping into the sink as she remembers her night, how close she was to the end despite what she said to Seojun she wanted to live. As her father stood above her ready to snuff her out like a mere nuisance in his life, she realized with a burning passion how desperately she wanted to live.

A soft knock drags her back to reality as she rapidly wipes her tears away.

"I'm leaving clothes by the door. You can come out whenever you're ready. I'm making tea."

When she hears the light steps of his feet moving away from the door she opens the door a crack, picking up the neatly folded pile of clothes. Sending the boy a mental thank you before closing the door quietly.

It's clear that these clothes belong to Seojun, draping off her body, too large for her frame, a black T-shirt with a microphone on the center and sweatpants that cover her feet as well, he'd even remembered to bring her socks. Instantly she feels her body warming as her body temperature returns to normal. 

Folding her wet clothes and splashing water on her face then using the towel to rub it dry, she exits the bathroom walking towards the light she sees assuming that's the kitchen.

"The water's almost done boiling. Sit down."

His deep voice greets her as she follows his orders and takes a seat.

"Are these your clothes?"

"What? Oh yeah they're mine, sorry my sister locked her door. They're very old though, I haven't worn them in years I thought they would fit you better." He eyes her as he says the last sentence, "I guess it didn't make much of a difference I'm just too tall and manly for my own good."

She scoffs at his narcissistic comment rolling her eyes "Tall and manly my foot. You're so skinny I could probably pick you up with one arm."

He immediately turns at her comment, affronted look on his face, "Shut up! It's hard for me to put on weight, I'm not that skinny."

He places his hands on his hips, looking down at himself before puffing his chest out to make himself appear broader, it's so ridiculous that she can't control her reaction.

Sudden uncontrollable laughter.

She laughs breathlessly, folding onto her lap trying to contain her giggles but his scandalized look makes her laugh harder and she has to stuff her face in her elbow to prevent herself from waking his family.

After a few minutes of random spasms of laughter she finally peers back up at him.

He looks just like he did outside when she'd smiled after successively getting off his motorcycle.

"What? What are you looking at?"

"Nothing. I just never see you smile at school."

"Well you never do anything worth smiling about." She quips back, wondering if she'd gone too far but he doesn't reply beyond a slight smile that's gone too fast to even be titled that, he places her steaming cup of tea before her sipping at his own after blowing on it.

They drink in comfortable silence.

She's the first to rapture the silence, "I don't need pity."

"I don't pity yo--"

"But thank you. Thank you for stopping. Thank you for this, thank you."

He stares wordlessly before nodding, a slight blush on his cheeks before he hides his face in the cup of tea. She doesn't bring attention to it.

"You can sleep in my room. It's the door next to the bathroom."

Humming she looks up, fatigue hitting her like a brick at the mention of sleeping.

"Where will you sleep?"

"I have a perfectly good couch, don't argue you're sleeping in my room. That's final. It's better that my mother doesn't see a strange woman on the couch when she wakes up."

Well, she can't argue with that logic.

"Okay." Drinking the last of the soothing beverage, she stands up walking over to place the cup in the sink.

"Good night." She starts to walk back in the direction of the bathroom, seeing another door next to it. Seojun's room. Twisting the doorknob she pushes it open, before she hears his voice from behind her.

"If you need anything I'm right outside."

Blinking her tears away, she nods without looking back, too vulnerable with his palpable concern.

When she lays her head down on his pillow, his scent fills her senses and she falls into a deep restless slumber feeling safer than she has in long time.

Tomorrow will be horrible.

But tonight, she will allow herself to breath easy knowing that someone is on her side.

[dontcallmecarrie]

continuation of this, because why not:

.

“Oh, this is fun,” Loki hadn’t realized just how irritating his voice could get until now, was this why the Soldier kept throwing knives at him? 

“I am only dragging you along because our interests align for now, do not expect this to continue.” He snapped over his shoulder, keeping an eye out for any potential attack even as the alarms continued to blare. He was lucky his counterpart was in such poor shape; had he even had a fraction of his usual power available, this entire enterprise would be much, much more difficult. 

As it was, Loki was faintly impressed his counterpart had accomplished as much as he had when he was running on fumes. When he wasn’t sneering at the sloppiness of his plans, anyway. Magical compulsion or no, what kind of idiot went and paraded about proclaiming their intentions for subjugation?

“Come now. Do you honestly expect me to believe this isn’t to your advantage? Unleashing double the chaos.” 

It was a pity breaking the magical compulsion had done nothing for his counterpart’s mental state. On a number of levels— he was a stone’s throw away from madness, all jagged pieces aimed outwards and it was uncomfortable to look at for too long for reasons Loki preferred not to dwell upon. 

Well. At least he could use it to his advantage. 

.

Victor was not a happy camper. 

First had been the discovery that, as he’d suspected, that damn gun had landed him in another universe. 

Second, said universe was quite possibly his worst nightmare.

Because his country didn’t exist, hadn’t existed for decades now: the Latverian civil war in this world had decimated its people in more ways than could be named, neighboring countries had snapped up just about every scrap of territory his men had fought and died for and goddamn HYDRA was using war orphans for their experiments.

...had he been a bit hasty when he’d taken out the first base he’d encountered? Sure. Sorting out the logistics for taking care of all the victims he’d encountered was a major pain in the neck, and this accelerated his plans for establishing himself in ways he hadn’t entirely expected. Klaue was as annoying as ever, and, if possible, even more of an arrogant bastard to deal with in this strange world.

Did Victor regret it? Absolutely not.

Especially when it resulted in his encountering his first ally in this hellscape. 

...though this ‘involuntary twin’ thing would get old fast, he just knew it.

“Hello, Winter.” Victor greeted with a smile. “Looks like you’ve been busy, too.”

.

The Winter Soldier could not believe that Justin’s stupid self-help books had been good for something, but here they were.

Him, and the poor bastard who shared his face and was now stuck in that incredibly awkward stage between ‘living weapon approximately three seconds from Murder’ and ‘going through deprogramming’, smack-dab in the middle of what had used to be a HYDRA stronghold but was now a bloodbath because somewhere in between fighting himself, and everyone else coming at them, the other Winter Soldier had started breaking through his programming.

He hadn’t realized just how much progress he’d made, until now. 

“What do you want me to call you?” He asked again with a tired sigh.

“The Asset does not nee—”

“Oh, fuck no. Pick something else, you’re a human being, you have value.” ...goddamn it, he sounded just like Justin. 

Ugh. Justin could never, ever know, he’d never let him live it down...okay, the worst part is that he would, not that the idiot with a death wish needed any encouraging when it came to this sort of thing.

The man’d had a knife to the neck, and still offered him food, offered him help. The Winter Soldier gave his counterpart a dubious glance, and fought back a shudder. 

As much as he sympathized with the guy— he’d been there, literally— the idea gave him chills.

Though...he could almost see it, now. If he squinted, he could see the tiniest speck of self-determination that HYDRA had tried its best to crush into oblivion, the ghost of a hint of personality in the twitch of his right hand, the way his left hand curled. 

“Right, okay.” He sighed. Again. He probably sounded like a goddamn teakettle, but fuck it, he was at the end of his rope here, dealing with people was Justin’s thing, he was much better at punching people. “If you’re anything like me, you’re going to have some serious migraines in the next few months, and no, aspirin doesn’t do shit. You have questions, means your personality’s coming back up which is good... oh, you’ll probably want to stick around for answers because I’m about as confused as you are.” 

Because this is what happened the one (1) time he tried to be nice and check up on Justin’s friend group. He could’ve been chasing down that lead in Argentina, but no, he was stuck here instead. 

Ugh. 

.

Ivan was running on spite, caffeine, and not much else. 

Living on the streets was a pain in the ass, exacerbated by the fact that he was apparently supposed to be dead and...buried? Cremated? He wasn’t entirely sure, none of the sources he’d found had been able to specify and to be completely honest, he hadn’t tried too hard to look.

Just seeing his own name in the articles had been disturbing enough, the realization that a version of him had apparently gone through with his suicidal plot was...something. Not great. His vodka stash back home was going to take a hit as soon as he got back. 

As disturbing as reading his own death had been, it’d still been no match for what he’d been able to find on the man who’d given him another reason to live. 

Because this world’s Justin Hammer was still alive and well, and locked up in an unspecified supermax for the foreseeable future, and...

An incompetent idiot with far more money than brains, apparently.

Which was so far from the man he knew it was hilarious, because Justin’s charisma had been enough to get a dictator of a sovereign nation wrapped around his finger without even trying, had the boogeyman of the intelligence world on speed-dial and an alien god as his bodyguard-slash-PA. He was untouchable on a number of levels, so when Ivan had first read that article?

He hadn’t believed it, at first. 

Had been certain it was an imposter, and while he probably should’ve spent that time researching how to get back home, he’d instead ended up down a rabbit hole of what kind of man Justin Hammer was in this world.

Call it morbid curiosity, or whatever— but Ivan had to know.

It wasn’t like he was making much progress on his own, anyway, not when his resources were staggeringly limited.

And then. 

A sleek car pulled up by the overpass where he’d been sleeping, and the window rolled down to reveal a face Ivan was inordinately glad to see. 

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” Loki called, and Ivan didn’t even question why there were two of him. Or why his twin looked like a grad student during finals week.

“Mean Girls? Really?”

“He was correct in calling it a classic.” Loki replied with a haughty sniff as he pulled away from the curb. “Besides— from what I’ve seen, I also know more about this world’s culture than their Captain.”

His twin looked lost, as he stared between them both and whoops, that was probably a terrible first impression. “Is this one of your allies?”

“Yes.” Ivan said, even as Loki spoke.

“When he’s not blasting us all to other dimensions, certainly.” 

“It was an accident!”

It was a good thing Loki had so much practice driving, because he would have gotten very nervous by the way their eyes met in the rearview mirror otherwise. “Oh, I know. I’ve told you—”

“There is no innovation without risk—” Ivan defended, only for Loki to snort.

“Have fun explaining that to Victor.” 

Ivan froze for a moment, breath stilling in his throat. On a good day, Victor was the epitome of a type-A personality...

“He’s here too?”

“Oh, yes. Not sure where exactly, but how do you think we found you?”

“If you say magic—”

“Are all your allies mortals?” Loki’s twin asked with just the slightest hint of a sneer, and just like that all levity was gone and Ivan didn’t even need to meet Loki’s gaze to know his answer.

“If you have a problem with that, feel free to leave. Right now.”

“Come now—”

“Ivan here blasted us all across space and time, without tearing open any paradoxes or destroying any timelines, entirely by accident. Victor? Is the ruler of a sovereign nation feared and respected throughout the realm. I do not know your approach to such things here, but any insult to my allies is an insult to me.”

.

Ivan...probably shouldn’t have been too surprised to discover that Victor had not only amassed a following of rabidly loyal minions, but also managed to meet up with the Winter Soldier. Er... two Winter Soldiers.

Man, this was going to feature in his nightmares for months.

“Where’s Justin?” Was the very first thing Victor said upon seeing them, and he cringed as the rest traded looks because of course the one who’d introduced them to each other was the missing link now. Justin was hands-down everyone’s favorite, and if Ivan was stuck being the one to break it to them after having spent hours hacking just to get a name?

Man, this was not going to be pretty.

“First, you have to promise not to get mad.”

“What.”

Ivan told them.

...suffice it is to say, nobody was happy to hear the answer.

.

“Okay then.” Victor said, face impassive save for the way his eyes gleamed. “It’s been a while since I did a prison break, anyway.”

[moral-turpitudes]

College Headcanons: Modern!Peaky Blinders Edition

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: This came to me in a dream. Enjoy. 

Thomas Shelby:

Double Major: Political Science and Business Management (bc he likes to work himself to death) Minor: Military Sciences/ROTC

Likes debating and trying to outsmart the professor.

Often seen on campus with bloody knuckles from rocking someone’s jaw.

Would 100% punch a motherfucker for being mean to someone he cares about.

Doesn’t need to be in a fraternity to be known around campus, just don’t mess with him and you’ll be fine.

All the girls whisper as he walks by but he don’t give a fuck cuz he has to go to his lectures.

He’s on time for every class and pulls out his pocket watch if the professor is more than 5 minutes late. If the professor can’t bother showing up then he dips out.

Almost got suspended for one too many fist fights.

Has a “thing” for the barista at the campus Starbucks. He learned after frequent visits, that her name was Grace and that she liked black coffee just like him.

Mysterious and moody af. No one knows if they’ve ever seen him smile, except when chatting up Grace.

Tries his best to study, but ends up getting dragged into his siblings shenanigans or into his head about the family business.

Keeps to himself for the most part, except for having a few close friends.

Hates technology so he uses a typewriter and prefers receiving letters/mail over emails.

Can’t figure out how to use Grace the baristas phone when typing in his number and tells her to write it down instead.

Often tells her to meet him after her shift. 😏

Professors hate him because of his reliance on paper. Totes not eco-friendly but he doesn’t care. Tommy always gets his way.

Grace always gives him a cookie for free cuz she knows he forgets to eat.

Always seen smoking or sneaking drinks of whiskey in a flask, even at 7am lectures.

Binge drinks on weekends with his bros, and drunk calls barista Grace when he has maybe 3 working brain cells left for the night. On other weekends when he’s coherent, he meets with Polly and tries to discuss business plans since their dad dipped out like a bitch.

To make matters worse, after dating for a while, Grace just leaves him. He thinks his aunt Polly may have been too hard on her, but he didn’t know until later that she lied when she said she didn’t know about the business. But barista bitch knew everything, and was gonna expose them to her higher-ups in the criminal justice department before long.

Arthur Shelby:

Major: Agriculture Minor: Military Science/ROTC

Graduated just barely.

Ended up in some trouble with his peeps in the military science department, probs for cussing someone out.

Angry, loud, and emotional af.

Loved drinking with John and his frat boy friends.

No one messed with him if they valued their life.

Started one too many fights and got suspended for reals. Almost beat a man to death but we don’t talk about that.

He gets stressed really easily so in his free time he draws horses.

When he gets real mad he takes it to the campus boxing ring and punches to his hearts content.

On his way back to his dorm one night he saw a girl who was in his agriculture class. She was cute and also in a “Christian” ministry group on campus. He decided to chat her up when she was preaching, just to see what it was about.

They later dated but then she cheated around with a fellow churchy man and just went off the rails. When he found out it wasn’t pretty.

Her friends and pastor most likely shamed her cuz she be ✨sinning✨. Therefore not helping her mental state.

Her name was Linda. Never trust a Linda.

Everyone tried to console Arthur but only boxing and drinking at Johns frat house did the trick.

Tommy often had to run to his dorm in the middle of the night to talk him out his mental breakdowns. College is hard.

In the end, he was glad he did agriculture even if his crazy ex would constantly stare at him during lectures, probably plotting his demise.

Some days he’d take out his frustrations by chopping wood and helping out on the farm where he worked and studied most days.

But you bet your ass fuckin’ Linda showed up to his dorm one time though with a gun and tried to shoot him, but she didn’t know his brothers and aunt were there too. Polly may have shot her in the arm tho. But when the campus PD showed up shit really went down.

We don’t know where Linda is now, but that’s probs for the best.

John Shelby:

Major: Music (idk I felt like he’s a musical boi) Minor: Military Science/ROTC

He’s a frat boy through and through. He drops it low on the dance floor and is known to dive onto beer pong tables.

Constantly going to parties and hooking up with sorority girls, that is until he meets a girl named Esme who’d been dragged to the party by her friends.

Suddenly he ain’t no hoe no more, he’s head over boots in love with her and she loves him too.

They be sneaking around in various buildings, often having to make a run for it to escape security.

He’d play her songs after hard training days with his military buds cuz it helps him calm down.

He’s not as violent as his older brothers, but he’ll fuck a person up if needed.

His fraternity is the second most important thing to him besides his girl. He loves the energy of the fraternity, the partying, and acting a whole fool with his friends, but Esme has him whipped.

His studies are struggling though cuz he loves to get turnt. He hates the studying aspect of college.

Always getting his brothers into trouble.

Snorts coke off Esme’s tits on occasion at the frat parties. It’s a wild time.

Has the mouth of a sailor but a heart of gold.

Talks of kids with Esme after dating for a year. Can’t afford a ring yet tho, but their bud Jeremiah marries them anyway on a whim.

After Arthur and the Grace fiasco ensues, he drops out of college because Esme falls pregnant. In the end, she ends up getting the chickens and wild cottage!core house she’d always wanted. They both decide to raise their kids there, living their best lives until Tommy drags them into more family matters later on.

Ada Shelby:

Major: English Minor: Gender & Women’s Studies

Always seen in the most stylish clothes.

She’s quiet most times but can be very knowledgeable on various subjects.

She’s constantly going off on her older brothers and trying to smack some sense into them.

Feels like something is off with the barista Tommy’s been seeing, but it’s not her problem.

Can 100% find her chilling in the back of Starbucks reading old novels or writing literature reviews.

When she’s not there, she’s holed up in the library where she works part time, studying and practicing for debates.

10/10 would fuck in the library cuz she knows all the best secret places to go to. 😏

Organizes meetings with different campus associations and demands equality for students.

Spends her free time surfing the net for clothes or keeping an eye out for a potential new bae.

Is probably the best at studying. She earns the best grades let’s be honest.

Will not hesitate to call a bitch out. She may not throw hands but she’ll throw words that can cut you like a knife.

Works for the campus paper, spilling all the tea on campus life. Her brothers often reluctantly agree to be her mock interview subjects for a range of assignments.

She breaks necks when walking around campus, everyone moves out of their way for her.

She’s a bad bitch.

Finn Shelby:

Major: Photography Minor: English

He hates how violent his brothers are but would 10/10 back them up if needed.

Often asks Ada for advice on studying and girls.

Doesn’t like the frat boy scene like John, but goes to the parties anyways with his best friends Isiah and Bonnie.

He’s a freshman and you can tell. He still has a glimmer of life in his eyes and a pep in his step as he walks around campus.

When he’s not taking pictures for class, he’s taking pictures of his girlfriend.

She’s his muse even when doing the simplest of things like sitting in a chair or reading one of his English books.

Each week he’d surprise her with a picture he took when she wasn’t looking, telling her how beautiful she is.

He may not look strong, but after many nights at the boxing ring with Arthur, he knew how to throw a punch.

He almost flunked his studies a couple times, getting too caught up in partying or being with his girl, but Ada and his Aunt Polly set him straight.

Voted by his family as most likely to not get arrested or suspended from college.

He’d have deep conversations with his friends, often confusing them because it was just that deep.

In his spare time he’d go boxing with Arthur or would try to help Tommy with his essays, but Tommy would get frustrated and tell him to fuck off within the first 10 minutes.

Polly Gray:

Profession: Business Management Professor Side Job: Managing the blinder business with Tommy

When she’s not teaching class, she’s managing the blinder business that was left to her and Tommy to tackle. This also means covering up any suspicions that arise on campus. She has her hands full.

She’s Tommy’s only shred of common sense some days when he gets too stressed out from his 10,000 majors and minors, or wants to plan to overthrow the university.

Will not hesitate to slap someone, preferably her unruly nephews.

Anyone can lie to her but the truth always falls through the cracks, and when she finds out, you’d pray you faced the devil instead.

In her spare time she reads tea leaves and prays for the corrupt souls of her son and his cousins. She really just begs to god that they can come together for once to get the business in line, but even that may be asking too much.

Knows a snake when she sees one. *cough* *cough* Grace the barista.

She’s the first one to tell someone I told ya so, especially her students when they flunk her tests because they decided to get drunk the night before.

When she’s not yelling at her nephews or grading papers, she can be seen at the local bar chatting up coworkers and old flames, hoping to find “the one” eventually. She ends up having a “thing” for the quirky Philosophy professor though. He’s kind of shady cuz she finds out he’s in a similar business on the side, but it only makes her like him more. She craves the danger.

They later end up in a whirlwind romance similar to John and Esme, and everyone loves that for them.

She can also be seen with her head in her hands when trying to persuade Tommy to use technology.

“What is copy and paste Pol? Can’t I just write it down? What’s up with all these gadgets aye?”

“If you want your hand to fall off and to make me lose my mind, then yes, write it down. Grading is bloody hard enough as it is, let alone grading your papers. You’re just like your father ya know, always doing things the hard way.”

Tells Gina off when she gets the chance just like she did Grace. She didn’t shoot her like Linda though, she just hurt some feelings.

May have aided in Grace’s “sudden” departure…maybe…just a little bit.

Secretly ships Tommy with a woman named Lizzie who had been her assistant at her office. She knew she could trust her more, at least.

Despite her harshness, she’s just trying to keep her family from completely fucking up their lives.

Michael Gray:

Major: Accounting Minor: Business Management

Like Tommy, he doesn’t get the hype of fraternities so he just hangs out with his cousins or his small circle of friends, they aren’t saints though.

His mom, Polly is his business management professor. She always calls on him and gives him a hard time when he spaces out in class.

Is often seen around campus with a few friends or his girlfriend Gina who he met in business class. They’re sickening and it was like a whirlwind romance tbh.

He usually finds himself cleaning up his cousin’s messes when it comes to fighting, but if he has to throw some punches he will.

He’s not as impulsive when it comes to matters of business, but where matters of the heart are concerned that’s another story.

When the blinders and Polly were all at her house for dinner one night he announced he was going to marry Gina. Arthur and John laughed and Tommy smirked slightly, still butt-hurt after his Grace left him for little-to-no reason. Ada grinned and bared the news whilst Polly nearly smacked him on the head.

People didn’t dare mess with him, and that went for all his cousins as well.

He spent a majority of his days in class crunching numbers, and most his nights out with the boys getting drunk or fuckin’ with Gina.

Because his mom held him accountable, his grades rivaled Ada’s causing them to get into some friendly competition at times.

He’s cunning like Tommy though. He got into many a screaming match with the older blinder after trying to take over his position in the family business. It ended in some black eyes and Polly smacking both of them with her newspaper. He knew better than to mess with the devil himself.

Despite the tensions between the cousins at times, he’s always the one they go to when they can’t figure out their math homework, and he’d always have to meet one of them in the library at 3 am to smuggle in some cocaine and a drink to keep them studying.

[jjongslight]

I'm VERY high & in my shinee feels so. Do you also think that onew & taem debuting & going through what they have has left them both highly insecure & in need of external validation? I'm a DCM shawol so maybe I'm projecting personal stuff on low knowledge but watching tae's solo vlives feels a lot like a very lonely soul seeking validation. I'm hoping military will help heal his "must always be present or performing" mentality. Meanwhile jinks feels like he's very brave & powering on through anxiety but also used to making himself small, even when he's feeling well. Like branching outside his comfort zone is threatening in a way. He's been challenging himself these last few months but methinks he's gone through lots of untreated trauma as a young leader & overly-soft heart. Again I'm pretty new & definitely not sober rn so i could be projecting real hard but you seem like a really chill & thoughtful person so i feel safe asking for your opinion

asjahdhshadhsdah I really love that you came into my ask box in your elevated state XD

I had made a few months ago an extensive post about my views on Taemin and his issues so check that out too if you want (only my observations and opinions again, I don't know him!!!).

I don't think it's only debuting that left them insecure or in need of validation. I think the more fragile parts of anyone will only be heightened in such a context and that debuting so young did put a magnifying glass on things they might've already been prone to struggle with. But again, they debuted so young, that they basically were building their identity and self in the spotlight, so it's probably a mix of both.

I think when we formulate such opinions we are always projecting to some degree because we only see what's made public and so we are missing parts of the story. So whatever I say as well is partly or mostly projection.

I do feel like the need for validation is especially true for Tae. I think with Jinki it's more of an internal thing (like he struggles to be at peace with himself more than anything). Tae clearly values himself a lot by what he does and so taking a break from that must've been really hard. I also hopes he learns that not producing anything for external eyes still makes him worthy of everything good in this world.

Jinki is definitely more of an enigma to me. I kind of don't get why he chose to be in the spotlight. Like for everyone else, I can understand it, but with him... I still feel like his life could've gone many ways. I don't think he ever full sat in or embraced the idol life. I know he looooves singing and you can especially feel it when it's not so much of a performance, but him singing something he wants/chose to sing. I think he goes through phases of actively taking part in the industry and then retracting himself from it and maybe that's a balance he found works for him.

I have a tendency to especially project on these two because they are the closest to my character, so I too, feel like there was always this darkness to those two, that always present melancholy and existential angst that comes from being very sensitive, but I can't affirm what is or is not at the root of that or if it's even there. I do think they've all had their share of burdens and probably trauma (talking even before 2017), but yeah, that's just something we can speculate about.

Btw, I love that you're a DCM shawol, welcooooome!!!!! *hugs*

I'm always happy to know I give people good vibes (I'm a good actress XD). Always down to share opinions about SHINee ^^

[namimashi]

—𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 (𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐯𝐞𝐫.)

Part 1 | Part 2

This part contains Asahi, Yedam, Doyoung, Haruto, Jeongwoo and Junghwan ideal type

↳ 𝐀𝐬𝐚𝐡𝐢

virgo moon, cancer venus, sagittarius mars, cancer juno

His ideal type is someone who's empathetic, charming, caring and at the same time easygoing and chill. He's very attracted to someone who's friendly, simply with whom it's easy to get along and have a friendly conversation. However, if it's also someone with a warm and sensitive heart, who's good and honest, then that will completely catch his eye. Asahi is attracted to people who can give him space and who are independent. He will enjoy having fun and entertaining activities with his s/o but his energy can easily drop so it's essential for him that it's someone who can respect that. At the same time, he finds someone who's optimistic and open to trying new things with him attractive, on the contrary it will be difficult for him to deal with someone who's too pessimistic and serious. He's looking for someone with whom he can share carefree and fun moments, being able to put the tense moments behind when they're together. That will move him. More deeply, he definitely needs someone he can care for so that he can fall in love, because in fact, the way to show love from him is by wanting to care for those he loves. Then he will like a s/o willing to open up to him, to ask for his help and advice them when they need it, because even though he likes carefree moments with his s/o, he also believes that it's important to advise and take care of others when they need it. He's looking for someone with whom he can have a deep sentimental connection, where they both genuinely take care of each other. He finds a s/o who's demonstrative and affectionate with him extremely attractive, especially after he takes the time to care for them as a show of affection. If the person receives it lovingly, then it will make him feel loved and valued. He will just feel like he's in heaven. Asahi can have problems when expressing his feelings, many times he prefers to listen to others and avoid talking about himself on these types of issues, so a s/o that gives him a safe space for him to be able to open up sentimentally it will be ideal. Someone patient and willing to forge a slow relationship, as he can be very reserved at first. Asahi also has an urgent need to feel needed, he genuinely likes to help the people he loves and to give them support without expecting anything in return, so again, he's looking for someone who will put their full trust in him so that he can feel loved. Someone who will look for him every time they feel in trouble but is also willing to help him when he needs it. Someone intuitive, loving, thoughtful and caring seems attractive to him. The relationship for Asahi should be kept as a safe place that both of them can return to when they feel lost, also with lots of emotional connection and mutual support. It should be like a second home full of attention and care.

key words: empathetic, friendly, affectionate, open to expressing their emotions, demonstrative, emotional, care-giver

↳ 𝐘𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐦

pisces moon, gemini venus, gemini mars, leo juno

His ideal type is someone talkative, sociable, intelligent, entertaining and humorous, although with an emotional and kind-hearted side. It should definitely be someone with whom he can have very interesting and entertaining conversations, since for Yedam that's the most important factor in a relationship. He needs connection and constant mental stimulation, that's why he looks for a s/o with whom conversations can simply flow without pressure and with whom he can talk about varied but interesting topics without getting bored. He finds someone who knows how to socialize and cope with a social situation extremely attractive, someone who knows how to speak correctly in front of others and enlivens the environment with humorous comments, who at the same time has an intellectual touch when speaking or sharing their opinions. A s/o that radiates intelligence and charisma wherever they go. Entertaining, funny, outgoing and perhaps even a little sarcasm would appeal to Yedam. This person must be able to keep Yedam's interest intact through different, spontaneous and fun plans to be able to hang out together where both can laugh and forget about worries. Someone who's willing to spend hours talking about different things with him. He looks for a s/o with an always optimistic energy, who's open to trying new things and who doesn't take life too seriously or with pessimism. He probably has trouble being around someone who's very closed, reserved, shy or serious, although he has no problem socializing with them, he just feels more in vibe with more easygoing and social people. For Yedam a couple of laughs and entertaining conversations is definitely heaven. He also will be moved by someone who has good opinions on things, good judgment and who speaks logically. He will admire it so much. At a deeper level, Yedam is a sensitive, empathetic and very intuitive person with the emotional states of the people around him. In fact, he can be very emotional, he tends to absorb the emotions of others and that's why he often tends to need time alone to recharge. Because of this, in addition to mental connection, Yedam also seeks a deep emotional connection where he can nurture himself. He needs someone to feel connected and understood with, at the same time that that person talks to him about their feelings. He needs to feel that there's a special bond beyond the superficial. He finds a demonstrative, sentimental, kind-hearted and empathic s/o attractive. If it's someone who's intuitive and able to understand what he's feeling without having to say much, then it will feel like heaven to him. Someone sociable and talkative but with a big emotional side is just everything he's looking for as his ideal type. On the other hand, he also likes to keep the relationship with a characteristic of great loyalty and mutual protection, the relationship is something that he wants to keep as special, like a trophy. Because of this, he finds someone loyal, trustworthy but very charismatic attractive.

key words: sociable, talkative, humorous, intelligent, kind-hearted, intuitive, loyal

↳ 𝐃𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠

aries moon, capricorn venus, pisces mars, sagittarius juno

His ideal type is someone hard-working, responsible, who knows what they want and go for it, independent, strong and admirable. Doyoung can be very slow in the process of falling in love, in fact he likes things to be that way, so in the same way he looks for a s/o who advances slowly and progressively in love with him. He finds extremely attractive someone who is career-oriented or takes it very seriously, who has a very mature and responsible energy. Someone who knows exactly what they do and go for what they want. Decisive and determined, someone probably older than him. He looks for a stable s/o with whom he can commit himself seriously, although it's really hard to him, he takes love very seriously, so his partner must take it very seriously in the same way. He prefers long-term relationships. Doyoung also finds a s/o with a good public position, who is respectable and worthy of what they do, extremely attractive. He's also a very sweet person from his heart, he's peaceful and kind, he doesn't like confrontations, in fact it causes him discomfort and he tends to avoid it, that's why he looks for someone who can fit in with that part of him. A peaceful s/o who doesn't seek to get into fights over things that aren't too important. He has escapist tendencies, so he probably needs someone to give him his space, but at the same time act as his anchor and bring him to reality when he needs it. More in depth and what really nurtures him in love, in addition to serious commitment, is the feeling of adrenaline and passion. Doyoung is attracted to someone who seems a challenge or who's difficult to get. He will find it extremely attractive if it's a s/o with a strong character who knows how to defend themselves when necessary. Someone who's spontaneous, straightforward, energetic and fiery. Someone with whom he can compete healthily and have fun that way, while also giving him a constant sense of excitement when they're together. With whom he can share spontaneous and entertaining plans without too much concern. Doyoung probably prefers to have more energetic activities, so he looks for a s/o who also likes those types of activities. Doyoung also needs to feel like he's in command, he doesn't like to feel like he's losing control or he's being trampled on, so someone who tries to dominate him a lot won't like him at all. On the contrary, someone who's honest and shows respect for who he is will be extremely attractive to him. He likes to maintain the relationship with airs of great freedom, he prefers that it be someone free-spirited and independent with whom he can share a serious bond but with whom, at the same time, can give enough space and freedom. Also with whom he can keep things carefree, fun and optimistic.

key words: commited, responsible, hardworking, carer-oriented, independent, strong, optimistic, spontaneous

↳ 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐨

libra moon, gemini venus, gemini mars, capricorn juno

His ideal type is someone talkative, sociable, charming, friendly, educated and intelligent. He finds attractive a s/o with whom he can have fluid and interesting conversations. With whom he can have a very strong mental connection. Haruto is another one of the many who believes that communication is the most important thing in a relationship, that's why an important factor is that he and his s/o can talk without feeling uncomfortable or bored. He also needs constant mental stimulation so as not to get bored, so it's necessary that it's someone who's entertaining for him. Someone naturally charismatic, humorous and who knows well what to say and how to do it to appear charming in front of everyone, but especially of him. Someone with social skills, who knows how to cope with a social situation or who takes the first step in such cases will be extremely attractive to Haruto. A s/o who speaks with a certain amount of intellectuality but can also make a lot of situational jokes. Spontaneous, cheerful, optimistic and carefree with life in general, he prefers someone who isn't serious or pessimistic about things. Someone with whom he can have very fun and entertaining dates and moments, with whom he can talk for hours about various interesting topics, simply laugh and leave worries behind every time they're together. A s/o willing to try new things with him, open-minded and with good opinions. Someone who just keeps the spark of interest from him, as he can get bored quickly if he feels things get predictable or too bland. Warm, kind and caring are also very important characteristics that he looks for in a person. Haruto is the type of person who fixes very deeply on the other person's personality, as well as their mind. He needs it to be a person who fills his heart, that he knows that he can completely count on that someone and trust. So a s/o that inspires trustworthy, while being good and attentive to the needs of the people around them. Although especially of his. Tolerant and peaceful, he hates confrontations and troubled moments in a relationship, so he looks for someone to give him security from that side. A s/o who knows very well how to deal with problems in a relationship in a calm and peaceful way. Someone he can depend on and anchor when he needs it. He will want to do everything with that person, in fact Haruto is a bit clingy, so that person must be willing to share many moments together, but also give each other the space and mutual freedom they need. He will fall in love if it's someone with a good sense of justice and good opinions, or who can at least share the same thought. At the same time, he likes to maintain a somewhat structured relationship in the sense that it must give him security and stability. He will like a partner who's hardworking or has a good social status, who works hard in their career and is responsible for compliance with the rules.

key words: trustworthy, charming, talkative, optimistic, spontaneous, intelligent, entertaining, hardworking

↳ 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐨

pisces/aries moon (uncertain), leo venus, libra mars, capricorn juno

His ideal type is someone sociable, charming, pleasant, tolerant, charismatic and who isn't afraid of being the center of attention. A s/o who radiates an elegant and charismatic air, which when they speak is simply very charming for him to listen to. Someone who seems delicate because of how peaceful, patient and good they are. At the same time, he also finds attractive someone who knows how to be sociable, talk to others and genuinely flatter people. Jeongwoo can be a little anti-confrontational so he won't like someone who seeks too much trouble or tries to confront him too much. A s/o who knows how to intelligently deal with a problem. Seeks someone with whom he can make plans for lots of fun times together. He will want to have relaxing but entertaining moments with that someone, constant dating and flirting. A s/o open to spending time together but when necessary, who gives each other enough space and freedom. Who's compassionate and affectionate with him, who returns the attention he provides will fill his heart. At the same time, someone bold and fiery, who exudes a very confident aura and isn't afraid to attract attention will be extremely attractive to him. Someone who knows what they want and do everything to get it. A s/o who simply radiates greatness and is striking, someone he would admire for that. He will find it attractive someone brave and who doesn't fear to express themselves and cares a lot about their personal appearance. Loyal and protective of their loved ones. Jeongwoo will want to get that person's attention at all costs, and when they do, he will want to be the center of their attention. He will fall in love with a demonstrative s/o who constantly compliments him for what he does, someone who makes him feel special and valued. At the same time he values ​​loyalty very much, it must be someone who's totally committed to him and pay their attention only to him. He likes to maintain the relationship with an air that provides stability and security, at some point he may take the relationship very seriously. It's important to him that his s/o is someone hard-working, career-oriented and responsible with life, someone who follows the rules and maintains stability. He's probably attracted to someone with good social status.

-Since his moon sign is uncertain, it is not possible to know specifically if he's attracted to a more intuitive/empathetic/emotional partner or to a more fiery/strong/competitive partner:(

key words: charming, pleasing, charismatic, confident, sociable, peaceful, loyal, hardworking

↳ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧

gemini moon, aquarius venus, capricorn mars, pisces juno

His ideal type is someone friendly, unique, spontaneous, intellectual, rational, talkative, mature, and hardworking. Junghwan is looking for someone who can be his best friend but also his partner, someone who gives a lot of space and freedom to the relationship but at the same time that can spend fun times together. He finds very attractive a s/o who also has a very kind and caring side, who's humanitarian and benevolent, who likes to help without expecting anything in return. Friendly, easygoing, optimistic and entertaining, someone who simply emits a unique vibe, which stands out from the rest for being different from the ordinary. Detached and independent, who knows how to fend for themselves and is free-spirited. He won't like a s/o very dependent on him or absorbing with the relationship. He needs a lot of space. He will find someone who has a humor similar to his very attractive, who makes things fun and entertaining, and that thanks to that he can forget about his worries for a moment. Not too cheesy or affectionate. Junghwan also finds someone who's ambitious and hardworking like him attractive, with whom he can share the same principles and vision of life. He will admire someone who strongly seeks to achieve their career-oriented goals. Someone who strives to get what they want when they set their mind to it. Also, he looks for a s/o who speaks logically, who's objective and not overly emotional. He mostly prefers someone who provides real solutions to a situation over emotional support. He doesn't understand very well the very intense emotional states in people, so someone who's too sensitive or emotional will drive him away. Conversations are very important to him, he needs to feel a mental connection in the relationship and that the talks can flow freely. He likes mental stimulation and he loves to express himself about what he thinks, so someone who can listen to him him and who's also talkative will make him fall in love. He's attracted to someone sociable and intelligent, who knows what they are talking about and has an air of intellectuality when they do it. Junghwan also sees relationships as something where he merges, a special connection, he will like a partner who can bring that to the relationship. He's probably very attracted to someone intuitive who makes him feel that special something that he seeks.

key words: unique, talkative, spontaneous, independent, free-spirited, friendly, sociable, hardworking

[fanartfunart]

@sapony01​ commented on one of my Sides Swap posts: Can you explain their function and personality a bit better/explore them? Some are kinda obvious but some kinda confuse me

And, but of course! I’m totally open to it! (I’m mostly making another post for it because otherwise it’ll get absurdly long)

To summarize, the main idea is that they keep their personality and secondary traits they represent (Like Ego, Emotionality, ect), while further representing the Main Trait (like Anxiety, Creativity, ect)

The rest under the cut:

Anxiety

Roman: His key representation of Anxiety would befall closer to overemphasizing bravery and ignoring problems, and of course, insecurities. Thus a focus on Dangers you can Fight, and avoiding things you can’t. A emphasis on the Knight theme as a representation of bravery. He’d use ego and theatricality as a cover- a ‘be weird before people can accuse you of being weird because then it’s on purpose’ type logic.

Patton: The type of Anxiety where you emotionally over extending yourself because you’re scared of social-emotional repercussions. Caring so much that there’s no time and energy to care for yourself. Also a good representation of the Dad-Friend override for Anxiety.

Logan: A representation of over-analyzing the world like an outsider, that emotional distance that, while you’re curious of all the things around you, you can’t help but focus on the bad. Avoidance becomes a key factor and everything is categorized as bad or good off of exaggerated ‘proof’.

Janus: Very self protective to the point that things outside the Comfort Zone are almost always negative and overwhelming. Sarcasm, brittleness, and lying as a way to avoid things outside the Comfort Zone.

Remus: Overthinking creating an Anxious reaction. Basically seeing things in the shadows and over-analyzing interactions. Essentially worries cropping up out of the idea of various terrible things you can think of possibly coming at you from the smallest of hints to it. Also Knight theme because why not.

Creativity 

Logan: A more organized and analytic approach to creative works. Prone to being a literary critic. Draws from media to explain a point. As creativity would likely be the type of writer that hides details and metaphors in everything, focus on foreshadowing and the such.

Janus: Never lets anything be direct, people should be able to make their own conclusions about the meaning of the text. Probably thinks method acting is fun. The kind of actor/writer that easily shrugs on different types of characterizations that it makes other people dizzy seeing him switch between them.

Virgil: Your inner Emo Art Phase personified (everyone has at least one somewhere in there). Would prefer to be either a lesser known creator, or not let Thomas use his real name (thus Ghostwriter), because being Known is Awkward and his work can get too real, being known as a real person could detract from the art. Focus on art as an outlet for expressing negative feelings and stress relief.

Patton: Take your craft-happy relative who always hand-makes gifts and you’ve got Creativity Patton. Just wants to have fun and share the fun. Draws from positive emotional experiences for creativity because he wants to give everyone who sees said art a hug through said art. (Yes, his design is vaugely based off of Disney’s Pinocchio Geppetto aka Pinocchio’s dad.)

Remus: Take Remus as he is, and then take the ‘intrusiveness’ out of him. He basically has all the same horrifying ideas, but he doesn’t use them to make Thomas upset or anything, he’s just making stories.

Logic

Patton: Sorta a relaxed logic, understands not everything can be solved with a clean logical solution and that emotions hold a important space in people’s actions. Is that little logical voice when you’re super mad going ‘you’re mad because this, this, and this, and this is probably an overreaction to what you’re expressing your anger to, but it’s still valid.’ Prone to emotional fallacies though.

Virgil: You know any super cool teacher/professor who teaches you what the book says and then closes the book and says ‘ok now guess what, they’re also wrong, and I’m probably wrong too’?? Virgil as logic. (also why I kinda gave him the ‘tired + university hoodie’ style) Emphasizes learning from various sources and never trusting any of them 100%. Doesn’t trust his own information either, and it makes him stressed.... but like, he’s always stressed anyway so it’s chill. 

Roman: Bounces from topic to topic to learn. Very curious and easily inspired- also easily distracted. The definition of what a liberal arts education should be doing- aka, connecting seemingly unrelated topics. An Encyclopedia of very specific information. But, once he’s got a set of information it’s hard to let go of it, which makes it hard to adjust to being told he’s wrong.

Janus: Emphasis on how information is always being adjusted, and people’s biases are always present in studies and interpretation. Focuses on debunking things. Also kinda makes it hard to 100% be sure of any information presented.

Remus: Enjoys abusing the ‘technicalities’ in things. A little hard to follow in terms of train of thought. Disturbing Facts are still facts.

Morality

Virgil: Emphasis on sympathy and ‘do what you’d hope people would do for you’ moral arguments. Focus on social structure for the ground rules for moral behavior. That guy who’s constantly nice because he wished someone was nice to him, ya know? Hates the idea of being a bad person so much that it causes a lot of guilt and mistrust of the self.

Logan: Thinks of moral behavior as an equation of sorts. People do good things and that causes good things and that allows the social structure to work as it should, so do good things. Draws on philosophy and other social sciences to argue his points. Easy to readjust his thinking with proper reasoning.

Roman: Just wants people to be happy! And to be good! Emphasis on the reactions of others and how that effects your social/emotional well-being. Do good because it feels good kinda guy (he wants to be somebody’s Hero, ya know how it be).

Janus: Understands that morality is such a grey place that most anything can be seen as bad if you argue it enough. Places value on the self as someone deserving of feeling good as well, and bases moral values on what you as an individual wants to do. Also still kinda morally grey in general and probably shouldn’t always be listened to.

Remus: I Follow no Rules but My Own. Full rejection of social pressures. What precisely that means for his resulting moral standing is up to debate.

Deceit

Logan: Woorsst lair because he’ll twist truth and facts into it and it’s hard to pick out what’s the lie. Very blunt about his role as deception and its benefits and drawbacks. Very good about remembering which lies were told when and to who. Not the kind to lie more than seen necessary.

Roman: Focus on lying as acting and getting to where you need to go in life. ‘Fake it til you make it’ is his motto and it also includes mental states. Makes it hard to be honest about feelings. Very much a ‘lying to yourself’ aspect.

Virgil: Lying to avoid perceived negative repercussions. Lying still bothers him- as lying can also cause negative reactions. Focus on lying in reaction to events, less so on lying to the self. Not every lie is especially necessary though, knee-jerk reactions and fear make it very easy to lie. Lies of omission being the most utilized.

Remus: The opposite to Roman’s ‘lying to yourself’. Lying to others just to see their reactions. Uses being ‘blatantly honest’ about taboo subjects to seem honest about other things.

Patton: Lying to spare people’s feelings and being perceived well. Focus on lying or omitting the truth to seem like everything’s awesome.

Intrusive Thots

Patton: Makes emotional reactions overwhelmingly hard to gauge and control, results in terrifying thoughts and feelings with little control or filter. Gets stuck on ideas because of how hard he’s trying to push it away (yea know, like the white bear experiment).

Virgil: Thinks in problem solving, but the problems are of course, the thoughts of his own creation. Incessant about ‘solving’ the perceived problem.... not much else changes.

Logan: The Mad Scientist aesthetic is fun, what can I say? Takes facts and focuses on the scary parts, and then brings them back up on the slightest hint of relevance, and sometimes just Because. Some of it is curiosity taken into a frightening territory and gets overwhelming.

Janus: Emphasis on what happens if terrible things happened. Also likes using the ‘you’re gonna go to hell anyway just dive in with me’ argument. Occasionally pops up in a way that sounds almost nice, then turns horrifying very quickly.

Roman: Take Roman, make his ideas more Remus. He’s already Loud and Proud, just make him scarier, and a little more incessant and probably a little more arrogant for good measure.

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

q3 2021 update & plot call !!

below the cut, you can find an update on ash’s current life, career (or rather absence of), and development for quarter three, as well as plot and thread ideas! if you see anything that you’d like to plot out or write with him, like this or message me, and we can get to it! i have a lot in mind about where ash is right now, so i might add more and expand later on!

mentions of ash’s continuing struggle with mental illness under the cut in case you don’t wanna read that rn

professionally

ash is on hiatus the whole quarter so... not much going on here.

uhh basically the first two days of july he was still trying to get bc to let him take a break so schedule threads could be set then if they cross paths at the bc building! he’s going to be participating in concert rehearsals for knight to a less intense extent since bc, as of the beginning of his hiatus, fully intends him to participate in the concerts. he’ll miss about the first half of the tour, but in july and august he’ll still be attending knight tour rehearsals some to keep up. schedule threads can also be done then!

(note that he’ll be missing the bc city concert as well — i don’t see him dropping by just to support either tbh, sorry bc ppl. white knight duo ver tho let’s gooooooooooo)

ash will eventually start writing music and finding his love of that again though and that’s pretty much the most work he can do during his hiatus, so it’d be cool to maybe have him write, compose, or produce for a few people that might be releasing later this year or sometime next year if anyone is interested? :) we can see if ash would work for it. there’s also opening for him to ask a few people he’s close to to sing some demos for him when he starts trying to write again!

personally + plot ideas!

explaining how he got to his hiatus would take me all day but he basically forced bc’s hand in letting him take time off (well, he wanted to leave knight and retire ngl but his manager was like... you know that’s not going to happen let’s try a hiatus <3). you can read my badly-written solos for part of it (i still need to write more) but generally, the most other muses might know is that they might have run into him acting kinda moody/down or impulsive/irresponsible lately, he made a very uncharacteristic post on social media that hinted at being unhappy with his life currently and losing passion/excitement for even the things he used to value most highly before his social media was deactivated by bc lmaaooo. the post would have probably conveyed Something was up it it wasn’t like genuinely super triggering-level content i promise !! bc released a statement shortly after stating he’d be going on hiatus without mentioning a definitive end date.

so there’s the possibility a muse might have checked up on him after that post / the hiatus news to see how he was doing?

tbh ash isn’t going to be seeking out meeting new people during his hiatus. he’s taking time to himself and is only going to make any effort to hang out with people he’s comfortable with. those he’s not close to, he’s going to have to interact with by running into unintentionally.

he’s getting a place in jeju in the early-ish part of his hiatus. he’ll be spending a lot of time there at first because he just wants to get away from seoul, so it’d be nice to set some threads there if your muse has the time to hop over to visit him if they have anything resembling a free day. (again a certain level of closeness would be necessary, but i think one good heart to heart conversation beforehand could bring someone closer to him enough for that rn! even over text tbh lmao). chuseok would be a really good time for this !! i imagine catching up over lowkey dinners or heart to hearts under the stars, that found family ash has actively fought having lol

(that place in jeju is also going to be where he starts to want to write music again too, so music based stuff there would be chill?)

heart to hearts in general anywhere would be really good for ash right now so please give me those! they can be in seoul too for sure.

he’ll be moving into a new apartment in seoul eventually, though that will probably be a little later in his hiatus? he had some bad fan/sasaeng run-ins right before his hiatus and having so much time off makes him realize he wants to move. someone can help him house hunt or if someone else is looking for a place, they can talk together about it. i want him to realize he wants to move into a smaller place that can feel more like home

once he does move, muses are free to come over and help him set up / be his one-man housewarming party. that’s a little down the line tho !! so we might not want to plot that as a thread to write right this instant

he may also be getting a pet ! muses can come look with him at a shelter or he can run into people there!

this would be a little later in his hiatus, but it’d be interesting if once he’s doing a little better, he gets the urge to dance and runs into a muse at the dance studio. idk that he’ll ever fall completely back in love with dancing, but he might rediscover some of what he did love about dancing and ash and this muse often run into each other as he visits that dance studio a little more often and they eventually bond over it / do some dancing together.

those who still really have that passion for making music ash has lost, talk to him about it <3 he misses it. he might cry but tbh he’s liable to cry in any thread

he’s cutting his hair short and dying it back to black this month, so it would be possible to run into him at the hair salon!

ash will want to be inside at home mostly at the beginning of his hiatus, but as it goes on, he’ll start to branch out and that will offer some more opportunities to hang out. he’ll try not to go to bars and clubs really, but small music venues or jazz lounges, small indie cinemas, galleries, those kind of things will be up his alley

idk that there’s much plotting to be had around this, but this long hiatus on top of the other hiatuses he’s had and his acting out before this hiatus is going to make some of the bc team realize it might not be super wise to keep pushing him hard as a cf model (and in the long run, just less of pushing him as a major idol star within the company in general tbh) so he’ll be able to get some more tattoos and piercings and will become more comfortable, hopefully, with presenting himself how he wants to be seen / having some development in that good ol’ lack of bodily autonomy aspect ash has always had going on. he’ll be coming out of hiatus living much more of his 2021 jk fc truth with the full sleeve and the eyebrow piercing .

uhhh ? pretty far down the line but i’ll mention it while it’s on my mind :) i think it’d be cool if ash did a collab (mini-)album (or two?) at some point after getting off hiatus. i’d want it to be someone he really clicks with creatively (though they don’t have to be a songwriter — i can see it working as collaborative songwriting or as ash feeling really inspired to write for them) and wants to work with since it’s not going to be something he’s letting bc push him into it at that point, and something that just happens organically. realistically, this would work with a female vocal best by far, maybe a male rapper just based on the songs ash does / i can see him doing. probably wouldn’t want to commit to anything fully rn unless it really clicks but i wanted to throw the idea out there :)

uhmmm?? ig i should also mention ash will be paying attention to his health both mental and physical he’s been neglecting for a while. there isn’t too much to say regarding plotting here because he needs to handle it himself with trying new therapy, medications, understanding there’s some stuff beyond “just” his depression going on. coming to accept nothing’s ever going to be perfect, but that self-awareness and effort can help more than denial can. not super plot potential-y but i’ll mention it since this is all the personal update section

basically, ash is taking time to recover mentally (and physically) and ultimately hopefully leave hiatus in a better place than he started where he can be more comfortable in his career, even if just a little bit, in himself, and in his life. if he can have some good, developing threads during the time, that’d be great!

[stay-tinystars]

Rumors: pt 1

Ship: Yeosang x Named female character (Jae Hwa)

College AU. 'Bad' girl x shy studious Yeosang.

Some fluff, some angst, mostly slice of life, a bit chaotic

Warnings: overly controlling parents, rumors, cursing, motorcycle.

Word count: 2.3k

A/N: this is a short series. I hope you all enjoy it. I'm trying out different writing styles as I get back into writing so I hope you enjoy.

All of this is pure fiction.❤

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" He whispered tentatively behind her.

"We aren't doing anything wrong. We're fine." she whispered back.

"Then why are we whispering?" He questioned.

"I don't know, you're the one who started whispering" she giggled softly.

They quietly made their way through the dark, slowly weaving through the trees following the path, the half moon slightly lighting their way. The soft sound of their feet against the dirt encompassing them.

"We're almost there, I promise" she said reaching back her hand. He grabbed it tightly, she could feel his heart pounding, as her fingers intertwined with his.

The path opened to a beautiful clearing overlooking the city. The stars visible above them. She smiled as she looked at him, his eyes got big as he looked up, his mouth slightly agape.

"Wow" was all he could say. He never thought sneaking out with his girlfriend would be so unique. Most people sneaking out to parties, his girlfriend snuck him out to go stargazing. She pulled the backpack off her back, and pulled out two blankets. She spread one out in the clearing, and put the other over her lap as she sat down. He laid on the blanket next to her, and she smiled as she draped the blanket over him as well and laid down, her head on his chest.

The stars twinkled in the midnight sky, as they cuddled. She was the yin, to his yang.

He was the shy studious type. His bleached hair, and picturesque features made him the talk of the town. His laugh and smile lit up the whole campus when he joked with his friends. 

She was the trouble maker. Labeled a rebel with her short bright purple undercut hair, eyebrow piercing, and motorcycle. Everyone judged her by her looks, except him. 

----- three months earlier-----

"She just thinks she owns the place" Jen scoffed, stirring her iced coffee with her straw.

"I know, she just storms in every place she goes, her boots clanking on the floor as she stomps everywhere." Jens best friend Rose added, as they both eyed her from across the dining hall.

Yeosang was shocked, everyone at this college seemed to have it out for her. They all gossiped about her, her apparent 'bad behavior', that he'd never seen. Also everyone's rumors of her were different. The only thing he knew for sure was her name was Jae Hwa, or Jae, and she rocked her short purple undercut far better than any other girl could. Sure her resting face was a bit..... harsh, but some people said the same about him. After he heard yet another rumor from the next table over, he decided to go see what she's all about for himself. Yeosang stood up quickly, he had to do this before he changed his mind. He started towards her, ignoring the questions from his friends at the table he just abandoned.

She was leaning her chair back, on two legs, against the brick wall of the dining hall, eating a sandwich, while doing something on her phone. She was preoccupied in her own little world, and why shouldn't she be. This school was full of gossip, which just annoyed her. She was here to study, how else was she going to get into the school she was really aiming for.

Yeosang approached her table when he started questioning everything. What if that prison rumor was true? Or that one about eating a live duck. She didn't look heartless enough to eat a live animal. What was he doing? He didn't know her. She definitely didn't know him. What was he going to say? It's not like he should start a conversation with 'I heard rumors about you, and wanted to know if they were true.'

He stopped a few steps away from her, maybe if he turned back now she wouldn't see him. She looked up at him, cocking her eyebrows, the metal gracing her right brow glinting with the movement. "Can I help you?" She petitioned.

He was a deer in the headlights, he was trapped. Her stare was slightly unnerving.

"I'm Yeosang" he stated, mentally slapping himself. This was not what he intended.

"I know." she replied, leaning her chair forward, letting it hit the ground with a bang. She leaned forward, onto the table. Her bright eyes bore into his. "How can I help you, Yeosang?"

He heard people start to gossip behind him, as she stared him down. He took a few steps and sat at an empty chair at her table.

"I was wondering if I could join you." He seemed unsure of his own words.

A smirk graced her lips.

"Well, looks like you already did" her voice had a playful tune to it, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I was wondering what your majoring in?" He asked, trying to seem natural in this awkward situation he had caused.

"Biomedical science" she responded dryly, he was intrigued.

"I didn't know we had that here"

"This university doesn't, but it's close to home, and gives me the prerequisites I need to get into the school I want."

He nodded, a soft smile gracing his statuesque face.

The conversation deepened after that. He explained he was currently doing a computer sciences major, but was thinking of changing to something to do with International relations, or something so he would have the chance to meet people from around the world. They then started to talk about anything and everything, like how she had gotten a motorcycle because it was cheaper on gas. How his best friend was constantly trying new recipes, and making him try them, which most of the time ended in disaster. Their laughter was interrupted by her phone going off.

She looked at it and cursed. "I'm late for that stupid lecture." she grumbled, quickly shoving things into her bag. "This was nice, thanks." She gave a quick wave as she practically ran out of the dining hall. He looked around to see the hall had mostly emptied, and realized he himself was late for class.

"So you have a thing for bad girls now?" Wooyoung asked as Yeosang sat down at their usual table local Cafe, with his coffee.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"He's talking about how you ditched us all without saying a word then went and talked to Jae for who knows how long." San smirked, sipping his coffee.

"She's not a bad girl. She's really nice." Yeosang retorted.

"That's not what I heard," Seonghwa raised his eyebrows. Yeosang felt a small flame alight inside him, it was as if some part of him had to protect her.

"That's the problem, everyone talks about her, I want to actually know her." Yeosang started, his voice calm, but his eyes enraged. "Everyone at this stupid university just gossips, and spreads rumors. You guys should know that better than anyone.  Seonghwa, remember when the rumor started that you broke up with some girl over her not eating your kimchi fried rice?" His eyes became pointed at his friend, Wooyoung scoffed, Yeosang turned on his best friend. "Do you remember when we started as freshman, and everyone was claiming you had, not one but three different clones. None of which knew how to drive a car, two of which didn't speak."

"Yeah, rumors are weird" Wooyoung noted as he looked intensely at his coffee. Yeosang took a deep breath in. Where did that come from? He asked himself, as he looked at his friends. San just stared in awe, as did Mingi. Seonghwa just looked everywhere but Yeosang, and Wooyoung continued to stare at his coffee. Maybe it was a slight guilt Yeosang saw in his best friends eyes. No one should take rumors at face value.

Living at home while going to school was great for saving money. While it worked great for Jae, her parents were supportive of just letting her live her life, and pursue her dreams.

It didn't work so well for Yeosang. His parents were strict, he had a curfew even though he was a legal adult. He also had rules to follow, and he did what his parents wanted him to for school, and for work. Aside from his friends which his parents reluctantly approved of, it seemed as if Yeosangs parents controlled every aspect of his life.

"You just don't get it, your parents let you move out, and do what you want at school. I'm stuck here" Yeosang complained as he leaned on the counter at the small restaurant Wooyoung worked at.

"I've told you to inform them it's your life, and to just move in with Seonghwa, and I." Wooyoung chided as he cleaned another table. Yeosang groaned, stirring his water with the straw placed in the cup.

"Eh, Seonghwa I could handle, you not so much"

"Shut up" Wooyoung threw the dry towel on his shoulder at Yeosang.

"I better head to work" Yeosang groaned.

Work was boring for Yeosang, sure it paid well, but working at the call desk, at the fanciest hotel in the city was never in his plans. Most of the calls he just redirected to the correct department. His favorite part of his shift was when it ended, and he got to walk out of the hotel.

Tonight was like most other nights in early spring; a chill in the air, the scent of cherry blossoms starting to bloom wafting over from the park next to the hotel. Yeosang started his walk towards the subway when he saw a small fluffy dog running towards him excitedly, his leash trailing behind him. Yeosang bent down, and held out his hand to the dog, who approached him, and immediately started licking his hand.

"Bong, get back here!" A voice yelled from within the park, he turned and saw Jae running towards them. Her eyes widened as she saw Yeosang.

"Cute dog you have here." Yeosang said, handing her the leash.

"Thank you for catching him. The little stinker ran off when I was tying my shoe. I guess I didn't have the leash under my foot well enough." She explained with a shrug.

"He just wanted to go on an adventure" he commented, as he bent down. Bong nuzzled his head into Yeosangs palms as he pet him. "What kind of dog is he?"

"He's a cavapoo, well at least that's what the shelter said when I adopted him." She bent down as well. Bong was in heaven, enjoying the pets and loves from two people at the same time, his tail whipping back and forth, as he rolled onto his side.

She never expected Yeosangs kindness. Everyone else she encountered avoided her, but he always smiled at her when the rest would stare, and whisper.

They ended up walking the park and talking for over an hour, the park slowly emptying of people as the hour grew later. He found out she worked at the animal shelter, feeding and taking care of the animals in the back. He explained his boring job he had, and ended up venting about his family situation. She was grateful for a friend, and he was grateful for her listening ear. 

When his phone started ringing, he saw who was calling and the time his face paled.

"Hello" he answered reluctantly.

"Where are you" 

"I got held up after work"

"You should've been home by now"

"I'm sorry, I will be home shortly"

"Your father and I expect more from you" the line went dead. Yeosang sighed heavily.

"Shit" he muttered, then let out an aggravated scream.

"I'm sorry" Jae said, watching him run his fingers through his hair. "I shouldn't have kept you." She stared at her feet, softly kicking at the grass.

"It's not you, I just" his voice fading as he stared off in the distance. "I just wish I had the courage and money to just move out. I just have to figure out how to live my own life." His voice soft yet determined.

Jae found herself softly touching his arm, trying to comfort him. Her timid touch brought him back to reality.

"The subway is going to take forever to get home"

"I live less than a block away, let's take Bong back to my place and I'll give you a ride" 

"I can't believe I'm riding bitch on a girls motorcycle" Yeosang muttered as she handed him her extra helmet.

"Well im not letting anyone else drive my baby" Jae laughed putting her own helmet on. She climbed on and started her blue bullet bike. "Climb on, wrap your arms around me and just lean with me around corners." She instructed. The city seemed to fly past, as they made their way towards his house.

"Stop here" he yelled.

"But your house is another block or so," she yelled back.

"My parents are already ready to kill me, I can't imagine what they would do if they saw me get off a motorcycle" he hollered. She shook her head as she stopped, and turned off her bike. He thanked her and handed back the helmet.

"You know, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to text me" she stared at the ground, her sudden shyness was intriguing. She usually held more of a hard expression, this one seems vulnerable. He smiled.

"I'd love to, but I need your number first" he teased. He could see her cheeks darken through her helmet, as he handed her his phone. She quickly added her number.

He smiled widely as he made his way towards home. He didn't look forward to what would happen once he arrived home, but he looked forward to texting her later.

[steak-n-popotoes]

FFXIVWrite ‘21 21

Well, peace talks had been a spectacular failure thus far.

Emet-Selch haunted the thin veil of shade cast by a defunct railway station in the center of Twine. There was really no more appealing place to rest himself in the miserable little husk of a village. The pourhouse had struck him as equal parts uninhabitable and overpopulated, and though he had briefly savored the irony of seeking shelter within their drab little house of false worship, he had ultimately decided that to do so would be rather... tasteless.

Needless to say, he longed for a darker place.

Their champion of Light, Eryna, was a scholar, and had expressed some interest in the wealth of knowledge Emet-Selch was ready to share at a moment’s notice, should any of their underfed minds want for nourishment. But she was far too staunch in her misguided beliefs for him to reach her. It was a one-way road, him giving her plenty but receiving little in return. The large one who had reluctantly been dubbed the ‘Warrior of Darkness’ barely had the restraint to keep from swinging that oversized sword around when in the Ascian’s presence, much less the mental capacity to engage in a debate of ethical concerns. And the little one was... yes... poorly hidden behind the aetheryte, openly staring at Emet-Selch at that very moment. Though it was a curious one (to say the least), he felt a more fruitful conversation could be had with his own shadow.

Truth be told, every single one of his shadows were likely up to the task.

The only one of their ilk whose potential he had yet to test was the other scholar. Or were they an artist? He had been watching them pace back and forth between a compromised Talos and a stack of supply crates the other so-called engineers had laid out within the station proper. Naturally, Emet-Selch saw little reason to lift a finger for so little gain, and in fact was rather entertained by the menial, manual solution the twisted little thing had chosen to pursue. It walked to and fro and to and fro again, all the while pointedly ignoring Emet-Selch’s presence. Whether through boredom or second-hand exhaustion, he felt compelled to sleep from watching alone.

There was oh, so little stimulation to be had. Perhaps the time had come.

“You have such precious little time, yet still you choose to waste it.”

They offered Emet-Selch an expression that was laudable in its neutrality, given his interjection. “These people will need infrastructure long after the light is gone and we have returned home. I see no waste in aiding with repairs.”

This was the one whose name was ill-fitting for its race, was it not? He had yet to decide if he would commit their identity to memory. “Oh, please. This huddle of hovels can hardly endure a stiff breeze, much less the test of time,” he stated with a grand, sweeping gesture, “what exactly do you see of value here?”

“I see stubborn seeds sprouting from the broken earth. I see a community who refuses to be defined by their failings,” again they looked to him, but emotion had begun to seep through, “I see no shame in their humble lifestyles.”

Did it start with an H? No, that couldn’t be right... Emet-Selch rolled his eyes and followed with a sigh pushed through pursed lips. “Well, I see no meaning in their futile, feckless floundering.”

“Then I truly pity you.” With that, they resumed their task and walked back to the Talos.

Was he pitiable? No, if anyone was deserving of pity it was they, surely. His burden weighed as it should. It was they who lacked even so much as an awareness of their plight. Perhaps this one could be worth the breath Emet-Selch had wasted on the others. If a foundation could be laid with them as the first brick... He waited for their inevitable return. “Don’t you find it unfair - no, unnatural - that She saw fit to grant your race a longevity that She denied the others?”

They avoided offering a reply, but he was certain that he saw their gait hitch for a step.

Remember... Emet-Selch asked of himself. Ah, yes. It was called L’kozu. Not that he had any intention to call it by name.

L’kozu came past once again, more tools in hand.

“Well, surely you’ve at least come to recognize that your superior lifespan has afforded you greater opportunity to affect change? Fleeting though it may be. Think of what you could build if you were to live as long as you should.”

L’kozu stopped in their tracks and heavily dropped the toolbox to the dirt.

They affixed Emet-Selch with an ice-cold stare that would’ve sent a chill down his spine had he forgotten how woefully impotent their diluted kind was.

After they let the stare linger for a few long moments, L’kozu spoke. “I've known men to do more good in half the time they should have lived... than I might spread in twice my lifetime.”

Their hostility grew yet colder.

“They built far more in the few precious years afforded to them than you could ever hope to manage in yours.”