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Rinne is aromantic pansexual.
A switch who will pick top or bottom purely depending on whichever he thinks will be the most chaotic and drive his partner mad. Most of the time it is passionate fucking with just about anyone who is willing to go for a roll whom he is attracted to, but tender love making is for the right person.
β¨β¨β¨"Any hole's a goal." β¨β¨β¨
He is very open and experienced about what he loves, what he is attracted to and what he wants.
Per Ainu upbringing, Rinne has been taught and is used to the concept of polygamy: as the chieftain of his village, he is expected to be able to have whoever he wants and this is the mindset behind his actions.
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ArcherβsΒ BDSM test.
100% Switch
Switches like to⦠well, switch. Always taking a dominant or top position is not for them, neither is always taking a submissive or bottom position. Some prefer to switch with the same partner or partners, others have a dominant play partner and a submissive play partner, but in either case they do not fit on one end point of the spectrum.
100% Primal (Prey)
Primals are mainly focused on their natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. The key part for primals play is that the participants show their raw, emotional sexual feelings during play. All of the labels, roles, and protocols go out the window, and the prey (you) can become a snarling, growing, clawing animal hell-bent on getting away from its predator.
100% Masochist
Masochists enjoy receiving (certain types of) pain from their partner(s), usually in a sexual context. Masochism is independent of pain tolerance: it is purely about the ability to enjoy (or get aroused by) certain levels of pain.
100% Degradee
Degradees like to be degraded and humiliated by their play partner(s), either by being acted upon in a degrading way, or by being forced do things they consider degrading.
100% Sadist
Sadists enjoy inflicting (certain types of) pain on their partner(s), usually in a sexual context.
100% Rope bunny
Rope bunny likes to be tied up and restrained, using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars, etc.). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy being totally at the mercy of their partner(s).
100% Brat tamer
Brat tamers are, in essence, dominants who enjoy handling bratty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness from the side of the submissive, rather than a form of rudeness. They will take no offence to it, but will still teach the sub a well deserved lesson (because, of course, that is why the bratty sub shows such behavior in the first place).
100% Brat
Brats are, in essence, naughty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness rather than letting their dominant down, and require a compatible dominant who will not only teach them a lesson, but also accept that any number of lessons might still not necessarily change this behavior.
100% Rigger
Riggers like to tie up and restrain their partner(s), using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars, etc.). Whether for sexual enhancement, for art or just for fun, they enjoy having their partners completely at their mercy.
Β Β Β 96% Owner
Β Β Β 92% Primal (Hunter)
Β Β Β 90% Voyeur
Β Β Β 88% Degrader
Β Β Β 87% Pet
Β Β Β 78% Daddy/MommyΒ
Β Β Β 63% Submissive
Β Β Β 56% Dominant
Β Β Β 50% Slave
Β Β Β 48% Non-monogamist
Β Β Β 48% Experimentalist
Β Β Β 46% Ageplayer
Β Β Β 40% Exhibitionist
Β Β Β 17% Master/Mistress
Β Β Β 16% Vanilla
Β Β Β 10% Boy/Girl
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πβ€οΈ @akaisentouki.
"... you should not say things like that. Giving me access to all of you just like this... do you even want it or are you just being a shallow people pleaser again... dumb Senpai..."
Midori pouted against Chiaki's collarbone, still holding onto him tight. He kept talking so much even in moments like this.
"Maybe this is not real, with you always putting up walls... but I'm too happy. It blinds me. I'm so happy to be able to hold you like this, Morisawa-senpai... I want all my feelings to reach you, even if it might be impossible."
He did not let his hero answer this time around, however, capturing his lips another time, yet this time it was firmer, more confident. Midori repeated it, again and again. He only dared stop when forcefully pulling up Chiaki's shirt to remove it, then his very own, throwing them on the numerous plushies onto the bed and resuming his attack.
( Ah... I'm getting so heated up... I can't help it: he's here with me, and he has no defences up... It makes me want to gobble him up whole... normally I have a similar warm feeling when seeing mascots, but when it's Morisawa, it drives me nuts like I want to hurt him... )
Kisses are now running at Chiaki's neck, Midori's lips pressing against the soft skin while his long leg rides up between the firm thighs. Arms hold even tighter around the red hero, not wanting to let him go, as if he was trying to run away. A sharp contact is made against the flesh, leaving a mark... two marks... three marks...
Hands move from the waist to the older's hands, caressing their shape before roughly holding onto the wrists as the two now tumble: Chiaki finds himself pinned to the mattress, in the middle of fluffy plushies and cushions, Midori above him, a blushing, resolute expression on his face.
"When I think about how much you love everyone, I can't help but think others might touch you like this... and it makes me so mad. You leave yourself open too often... It makes me want to steal away every single one of your firsts so everyone knows they don't stand a chance."
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πΆπ§ @narvvhal.
A soft laugh escapes Zhongli's lips, removing his fingers before his other hand moves up to caress his lover's cheek, followed by a kiss on the forehead: even in this scenario he was rowdy and eager. A confirmation of how true to himself the young man was in his everyday life, and his exposed vulnerabilities made the dragon's heart soar, continuously touched by what he was experiencing.
Allowing oneself to fall in love... it felt almost surreal, the pocket of paradise they had created for themselves. It made Zhongli want to spoil his feisty partner. Truly one of a kind: he had never experienced someone who felt so intensely.
"Not tired yet, I see? You're quite greedy ~, not that I mind... let me know if you ever feel uncomfortable." For all his boisterous attitude, Ajax's comfort was of the utmost, the thought never leaving the older's mind. "... I love you, Xingan."
A shift of the hips, and the tip of his length was pushed between Childe's spread, firm thighs. Gently, slowly. The pressure caused the former archon to sigh in pleasure; his mind had been of patience, but his body had been eager this whole time. His senses were aflame in a way any other company couldn't make so. Instinctual impatience caused the adeptus to emit muffled groans while pleasure spread in his body, only becoming more intense as he pushed further in. Despite earlier preparations, his size and the younger's bodily inexperience made the tightness both thrilling with a tinge of pain, mixing with the intense warmth of their body heat and the delicious sensations of the lubed walls against the flesh.
Once fully inside, Zhongli leaned above Ajax once more, palm caressing his face yet again, like he wished to confirm the other's presence again and again. Those honest, deep eyes... this person truly loved him, and he loved him back all the same. Their lips met with a tender kiss, before the dragon thrust forward. A slow, deep pace, in ways his fingers could not do so earlier, assaulting every corners of his lover's insides, letting him process every new sensation.
The consultant's hand found the other's, fingers intertwining together onto the bed, shining amber eyes revelling in the reactions.
"You're perfect... please, speak up of everything you desire, I shall fulfill it happily."
The sound of their entwined bodies echoed more and more in the bedroom, between groans, moans and sighs. Zhongli's pace carefully increased, his expression swinging between loving smiles and wincing from the intense sensations, his hand holding never letting go. He enjoyed his love writhing under him most as he hit him in the right places, before moving harder to overwhelm the rest of his body, then taking his time as he bathed in the aftermath of those new sparks and repeating again. Each time their overall pleasure growing more intense, more intimate.
That is, until it became too much, and Zhongli's careful, near calculated approach fell apart while he slowly lost himself to his feelings. Something a god could never allow to do... but a simple consultant certainly could with the one he cherished most. A golden glow tinted the older's pupils as his pace became more erratic, lips passionately locking with Childe's and covering the young man's neck in kisses and possessive marks.
As they melted away, the harbinger's eager, oversensitive pleasure was as if it became contagious. Zhongli's strength making the bed frame rattle. More. He desired more. See this proud person loses himself under his hands, to touch him so profoundly he could never live something equalling to it.
Fluids started to pool between them. Their position never changed from being face to face, and yet Ajax's hips were raised more and more under the dragon's passionate embrace as he sought to bring ecstasy to every inch of him.
"I'm so close... you're so good, Ajax... incredible..." Zhongli groaned in the young man's ear between bathed breaths, his hand hold tightening and his arm wrapping his beloved partner closer.
The next moment, he was reaching his climax, as a pool of warmth filled inside Childe under multiple, powerful thrusts. Zhongli's forehead pressed against the redhead, cheeks red and panting. He could not tell which type of face he was making... he felt as if he had never made whichever expression he had at the moment.
He did not let go, at first, bathing in the afterglow, their passion and love, feeling as one. Watching the younger's cute face as he recovered.
And the first words spoke up were accompanied by another hearty, pure laugh from Zhongli.
"Ah... I had planned on removing myself as to not trouble you with that afterwards, but... I guess it is another one of many ways you are irresistible... it was impossible to resist marking you further."
#narvvhal#I cannot not continue this I missed them I love their fluffy intimacy#they love each others so much we can say they have been doing it for months#that's why Childe hasn't been around ingame#.unsafe
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83% Vanilla
46% Submissive
38% Primal (Hunter)
38% Switch
37% Exhibitionist
31% Pet
28% Sadist
27% Rigger
22% Non-monogamist
22% Masochist
15% Voyeur
13% Dominant
13% Owner
11% Brat tamer
8% Experimentalist
7% Brat
6% Rope bunny
3% Daddy/Mommy
2% Master/Mistress
2% Degrader
0% Primal (Prey)
0% Slave
0% Boy/Girl
0% Degradee
0% Ageplayer
The (in)famous test.
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"kill em with kindness" wrong one billion draculas πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬
πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½ββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬ πββ¬
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trans women are everywhere and are so eager to be seen and heard but only if they feel safe around you. if you hardly ever have trans women interacting with you, especially online, then consider there might be a reason for that and you should address it
#the same thing happens with black people#black people are everywhere! especially online! black gay and black trans people!#but when your community is suspiciously devoid of them then theres something wrong and you need to acknowledge it#even if its not intentional you need to think about how theres minority groups who do not feel safe around you at face value#this is why loud and outright support and solidarity is so important#black people and trans people and etc minority groups will assume you are unsafe unless you explicitly state otherwise#you can't just sit there and say 'well they didnt approach us so its not our fault for not including them!'#like did you TRY to get them to approach you??#cy texts
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Probably has an entire collection of every BDSM accessories possible from a history of trying to feel something with them so now he just has them and the mastery but it's like shrug emoji. He doesn't feel the impatience or much need for it. He will tell his whiny partner to wait until it's 5PM even if they ask him at 3PM and probably edge them absentmindedly while on the phone for the entire two hours while he's actively working on something. Yes I have too much experience with this type.
Priest probably asked something from him to relieve the pain of the lost of Godfather, even maybe thinking it would also help Gatekeeper relieve the pain. Gatekeeper basically kinkshamed him and called him sick and left him in the bedroom to be alone by himself probably crying.
#.fakestype ( headcanon )#someone rp priest with me when lmfaoooo#.unsafe#im so sorry for this I needed it out of my system
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If he had to be given a label (as honestly he will always reply that he is just himself), Sampo would be aromantic greysexual.
Given the multitudes of way one can express those sexualities, let's get a bit detailed.
Attraction include all gender on the same level. Although he will stick to humanoids.
He is a Switch with no preference physically speaking, although personality speaking he is very much more likely to take the lead.
He has experience with sex, but never has been in an official relationship.
He is not a label person, he just likes to enjoy whatever there is going on, he won't change his mind on that.
Doesn't mean he cannot love someone deeply, it is simply not in his preference to have any sort of romance or even sexual relationship. He feels things and knows what he likes, he just has better things to focus on in general.
Intricately, Sampo's ways are about yearning and bathing in the chaos that is the tension between him and others, so he is unlikely to actually commit to any carnal or loving desire, simply because he genuinely prefers what precedes it (with a healthy mix of fear of commitment).
The libido does exist to an active level, it is again in his genuine preference to leave it at it being present sensation and not do anything on it that is actually committing to carnal, intimate contact.
Despite all of this he does genuinely enjoy a good time and does not see why not indulge, but he rather avoids doing it with people who he is likely to see again: he is a one night stand kind of guy (fear of commitment callback x2 playing a part in this).
Sampo sees sexuality as a force which brings people to act in certain ways, he enjoys the concept a lot, aesthetically speaking, and so intricately includes its implication in his Path. Thus his... slut in theory vibe. It is a great power too to hold over people, he finds it very fun~!
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A journal entry. 09/??
βAre you alright, Mr. Kessler..?β
I remember those words a thousand and thousand times. They make my knees buckle and my head sent to another realm. I had no childhood, it didnβt exist. Convincing myself so was the only way to make it go away; for when I became a man, I was reborn and the rest didnβt matter.
When I was around eight, I was to witness sex between two people. I had sort of a babysitter βif I could even call thatβ that was to introduce me, as my father asked so. Probably prostitutes. Iβd be educated on the body of a woman, not even of a manβs, before witnessing the two of them fornicating right under my eyes. My guardian would make sure I wouldnβt be looking away, although every single time, heβd get too carried away by the spectacle, taking part of it. Although I felt disgusted, I was unable to look away; this, to me, was knowledge I couldnβt miss, as painful of a truth as it was. From those moments, Iβd come up stronger.
When I turned ten, however, my grandfather brought me down one of those basements. Those big buildings where hidden conventions would be held. Meetings. I was petrified at the human dolls I witnessed, as rare as they were for they were a costly and risky luxury, and, for the first time, I saw on video tape a woman having non-consensual sex. It was normal. In a normal position. Although it didnβt take much for the silent me to notice the wide difference between my previous experiences and of now. She was crying, begging, and her voice was cracking. Unlike other women whoβd show pleasure or do so to put pride in their partner, this one was the most genuine voice I ever heard. And Iβd be shaken. However, as I put my mind to the test, Iβd go on. Then, because of how silent and stoic I was, the tapes became more adventurous. I was shown women put on contraptions, more and more partners for her. As my eyes would still be stuck although everything was done, Iβd constantly be asked.
βAre you alright, Mr. Kessler?β
I recall telling my mother, although my explanations as a child were far from clear and I was too embarrassed to go any deeper. Mother looked at me with pleading eyes, but ultimately didnβt speak, much like me, she wasnβt one for words. Afterwards, without any clear explanations, I was left alone.
At some point, my grandfather let me be with another man to look out for me. They changed so much, so many, I cannot remember their faceβand I donβt want to. I donβt want to be reminded their face. Having his own schedule, he brought me to a room. One with masked people looking so intensely at a centre lighten up stage. Some sitting, most of the up on their feet. All of a sudden, I turned around and my guardian wasnβt here anymoreβlater would I know that an emergency came up for me. I was left alone, in the most unfamiliar, terrifying environment I had ever seen. And then, two people entered.
One of them was a little girl. Around my age. Probably even younger than me. She was so dazed, clearly drugged, yet lucid enough so I could see absolute, unending terror in her eyes. She was wearing a see-through, childish nightgown and I had the urge to not look at anything but her face. It was the first time I saw the body of someone like me. I was absolutely disgusted. I cannot describe what the person with her on stage did to her, but it doesnβt matter.
It took only a matter of seconds, and her eyes almost locking with mine; for I was the only one without their face covered, that I turned around, leaned to a wall, and threw up uncontrollably. My eyes kept crying although I wasnβt sobbing, and the sick, darkening feeling inside me would never, ever go away. The pool of my own puke seemed endless, like every inch of the building was covered in it. I felt dirty, kept shivering while cold sweat came down through meβ¦ and then I realized. Every time I tried to straighten myself up again, Iβd gag another time, and screams came out of me.
The attention came onto me. Those men, with certain who couldnβt hide what was going on in those suit pants of their, wiping drool off their mouth, noticed that I was here. A kid. With nobody by my side. Alone. What seemed like giant, threatening hands in the dark approached me. Suddenly, the door opened and my grandfatherβs voice called on to me. I screamed, cried out and never ran as fast into someoneβs arms. Obviously, he slapped me for being so impolite, and I had to apologize. When I was ordered to clean up my mess, I refused, vehemently, and it was left at that. I could only hear the staff askingβ¦
βAre you alright, Mr. Kessler..?β And theyβd give me snacks. Iβd be unable to put any of them in my mouth and was left with a sweet icicle running down my arm.
My insomnia worsen, my nightly terrors too. I was too afraid to fall asleep, but exhausted I just didnβt want to think. When I would falter, Iβd be constantly, firmly told to shape up, man up, stop being a wuss and get on with my average studies, was forced to eat all my meals and go to school.
And then, one day I told my homeroom teacher. Police was called, my parents too. That is when I started being home schooled. From there on, my moral never improved.
Then.
And soβ¦
At the very least, the exposition slowed down. I donβt know if they, whoever they are, deemed that it worked for having a more strong willed heir or some bullshit of itβI donβt care, I donβt mind. Iβd slowly feel indifferent towards what Iβd be looking at, but feel in thousand of pieces inside. Left with nobody but myself, Iβd put myself back up. And that, actually, is how I feel like I became stronger than ever. However, it took a long, long, long, long, long, while.
The first time I had sex with my girlfriend as a teenager, I felt sick, disgusted. I actually threw up, mimicking I needed to freshen up in the bathroom, took a long, long while trying to gather my thoughts. I came back. She joked about the time, I said I wanted to be thoroughly cleaned and was cutely nervous. She loved it. I made her cum with my hands and mouth.
I was unable to come.
She was so understanding.
Put it readily on the nervousness of the first time, and expressed how perfectly content she was.
She curled up in my arms. I stared at the ceiling the whole time, emptying my mind. When I made sure she was asleep, I sneaked out of the bedroom. Then, I threw up what felt like days worth of meals and all my guts in the toilet. Staring down at the mix of all the proteins I took for all those fucking sports I did. The strength I built to be that preppy jock I wanted to show shivered. I was a child again, skinny, shattered. That night, I rolled on my side of the bed, back towards her, hoping she wouldnβt notice I was having nightmares.
She hugged me and teased me, softly whining how I moved away from her in my sleep. She laughed.
βAwh, are you alright, Mr. Kessler ~ ?β
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βΊ rut the traveler in dragon form ;3c
Send my character a βΊ and a command. They must obey.
"... perhaps this is going too far for something I imagine is a drinking game. Atop of not having a close friend's consent, this level of intimacy is wildly inappropriate with the nature of our relationship. Even if they wished so, I do not believe I can provide what you are asking of me in the first place."
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It's canon (to me) that Jason Todd has a baby face
Commission info ko-fi
#jason todd#fanart#fan art#red hood#batman#dc#dc comics#my art#comic#he can barely pass for 17 despite being 19#no one will sell him cigarettes so he has to make his goons do it for him#no he's not happy about it#one of his goons almost called Batman on him cuz he was worried jason was in an unsafe home environment#and for those of you doubting#tom holland was 19 when they filmed Civil War
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