diariossecret0s

[allthemzeroes]

"Hey Valerie, what does the phrase 'enameled pepper mill' do for you? Asking for science."

“Makes me think of being at my grandma’s house.” Valerie doesn’t look up from her phone. “Fancy cooking garbage. Probably decently useful. Why?”

[heystrangcr]

Hey, Val, you got anything that'll get Miranda's hilariously ineffective assassination serfs off my tail feathers?

Only if you feel like dipping into the stuff I save for Aaravi and the coven! Which is a ‘at your own risk’ kinda buy, because when you’re done they might demand it back off of you. 

[yoonpobs]

together | myg

pairing: min yoongi x singlemother!reader

genre: fluff, very soft fluff, domesticity

words: 5, 007

summary: min yoongi is a good man but even a better father ... figure

“Baby … what did we say about boundaries?” You crouch down to reach Jihoon’s eye level and the mini you—as said by your friends—simply ignores your oncoming lecture by staring at his feet.

“Limits …” He mumbles softly and all you want to do is hug him and tell him he can do no wrong but motherhood is tough despite all the online blogs telling you that they’re with you. You loved your baby, you really did—but God decided to fuck with you by making him the reflection of yourself when you were younger and you heard nightmarish stories from your parents from when you were growing up.

You run your hand over his hair soothingly because as much as he was like you, he was still only two years old and his own person, fluff and bread arms. You knew not to restrain him with furrowed brows or raised voices but instead with the patience your parents always taught you to have and the compassion that you wished you were naturally blessed with. But life had a funny way of taking away things from you.

Well—your ex-husband was never really taken from you—he left you, and instead of feeling shambled and distraught you were made of such resolve that you merely blinked when he packed his bags after he said he was cheating on you. The only sweat you broke was realising that Jihoon was only three months old when his dad left without sparing him another glance.

But your baby grew up and so did you. Your job at office paid well enough for you to live comfortably with Jihoon and hire nannies to look after him whenever you couldn’t; even though you tried your best to always be with him so he wouldn’t grow up resenting an absent mother. But you worried like anyone else would because while your friends and family would say you were doing an impeccable job, your self-sabotaging tendencies nagged at yourself by saying that he needed a male figure in his life.

He mumbles a soft apology, so respectful with his big eyes and you smile at him. You knew he meant no harm when storming into your office and scrambling off with important documents because he was still impressionable and curious about nearly everything. Your heart dropped when you realised your reports were pretty much incoherent with the way he doodled over them but you knew not to blame him.

“Forgiven Hoon.” You kiss his forehead.

His eyes turn into tiny slits with his toothless smile and your heart clenches at the little human you created and love dearly.

“Love you mama.” He plants a sloppy kiss on your cheek before waddling off to his playpen where his toys are laid neatly. If there was anything he inherited from you; it’d be your meticulous tendencies.

You sigh, leaning into the wall of your kitchen as you watch Jihoon with fond eyes as he plays with his dolls and figurines, dressing them in dresses and pants just like how you taught him that gender had no look and that everyone was different. Obviously, explaining the concept of social constructs to a two-year-old is not a conversation any parent would have with their child but you believed that these fundamental core values of humanity were important to his growth into his toddler stages and eventually adulthood.

“I can’t believe you squeezed that cutie out of your vagina.” Taehyung snorts, sneaking up behind you and you don’t flinch because you’re way too used to his unwanted comments and sudden appearances.

“I am 90% cute so it’s only right that my child inherits that from me.” You retort, eyes still trained on your baby boy.

Taehyung looks over at Jihoon who directs a mini-play of a loving family, and your heart is still sad at the prospect of his adolescent years only being with you.

“You know … hyung is asking about you,” Taehyung says and you immediately still in your position, hands freezing in your pockets because you know exactly who he’s referring too and you weren’t exactly ready for that conversation, especially with your older brother.

“He says he misses Hoonie.”

You sigh, turning your head to face your older brother and you can only muster enough emotion to look fine with his statement but you simply looked constipated with the way your face scrunches up.

“We’ve been busy …” You mutter.

“Jihoon is two-years-old and the only thing he’s busy with is trying not to give you a heart attack every time he nearly runs into the wall and you literally work from home now that your boss is some progressive liberal that tries a new system every two days,” Taehyung says dryly, pinning you with a deadpan.

“Stop offending me by insulting my son!” You whine.

“That’s my nephew too.” He rolls his eyes as you punch him in the shoulder.

“That has a name and it’s Jihoon you bitch.”

“Mama said beech?” Jihoon tilts his head in a curious manner and your expression morphs into one of mortification as Taehyung cackles in response.

“Stop. Laughing.” You hiss but it’s no use because your brother has never once listened to anything you had to say throughout the last twenty-nine years of your life.

“You—” Your snide is cut short by rapt knocks on your door, and you see Taehyung’s grin widen. You know that look intimately because it’s the expression he wears before he pisses you off or embarrasses you.

“He’s here!” He sounds delighted as he skips towards the door. You want to pull his back by his collar to ask him what the fuck he was talking about but he’s quick with his hands and the door is open. Your mouth falls and you nearly get whiplash with the way that you stare at your guest.

“Y-Yoongi.” He was possibly the last person you wanted to see and you had no idea what he was doing at your apartment at night on a weekday.

Then you see Taehyung’s pleased expression and put two-and-two together.

“___, hey. Taehyung said you needed help with Hoon tonight?” He offers a tilt of his lips because Yoongi was not an expressive man by any means. But that didn’t mean he didn’t have a good heart; that was far from the truth of the enigma that was Min Yoongi.

He was a good person and an even better friend. Although the two of you had tip-toed on the line between friends to something more than that, he never explicitly said anything about his interests to you. And you didn’t want to pressure him by saying anything because even though he was in his thirties and still very much single with a stable job as a surgeon at the top hospital, a two-year-old son is rarely what a man that appealing ever wants when looking for a relationship.

That was why you stopped replying to his texts or inviting him over to hang out with Jihoon anymore because Jihoon adored him so much and your poor heart couldn’t bear to see the two boys interact without an ugly flower called hope bloom in your chest. He only ever knew who you were because he and Taehyung were co-workers and probably only tolerated you by association.

You loved Jihoon and wanted the best for him. Even if that was Min Yoongi—you needed to protect your heart too.

“I did?” You tilt your head and Yoongi automatically notices the habit that you and Jihoon share. Taehyung is somehow next to you already and you know that because he stomps on your foot and shoots you a glare when you hiss.

“I did.” You cough.

“Mama?” Jihoon peeks his head through the divider between the kitchen and the common area, and his eyes immediately light up when he sees Yoongi hovering by the entrance.

“Yoongi!” He squeals as he speeds as fast as he can with his little feet towards the man in his scrubs who shoots your son with his gummy smile.

“Hey, buddy.” He picks your son up effortlessly and you know you’re staring but you rarely ever see men who are this patient let alone this good with children.

“Close your lips,” Taehyung whispers into your ear.

“I’m—that’s not what was happening …” You mumble, a blush appearing on your cheeks as you look away from the hugs and kisses that Yoongi gives Jihoon.

“I meant your other ones.” Your brother says dryly.

“Kim Taehyung—!” Your arms are already reaching for his neck to strangle him but Yoongi calling your name snaps you out of your anger.

“Have you eaten dinner yet?”

Your head snaps to Yoongi who now has Jihoon on his hip while he plays with the material of his scrubs. You hate how your heart flutters at the domesticity of the question and how Yoongi looks so much like a father to your son and a husband in your home.

You realise the dangerous daydream you’re falling into and shake your head to snap out of it before you hurt yourself even more.

“Us? No, we haven’t. Tae and I were planning to order in at our favourite place.” You tell Yoongi with a small smile.

You see the hint of a frown marring on his face but it goes as quick as it comes as he stalks towards you.

“Actually—” Taehyung cuts in before Yoongi can say anything, “—I have a … thing.”

He points his thumb towards the door and you curse him in your head so much that you hoped sibling telepathy was a thing so he could hear what you felt about him right now.

“You … do?” Yoongi asks.

Taehyung shrugs, as ambiguous as ever before ruffling Jihoon’s hair and offering a fist bump and a kiss before he approaches your door.

“Taehyung—” You grit.

“Bye, buddy! Yoongi.” He acknowledges the two other boys but not you and you know it’s because while Taehyung loved to annoy you, he knew you were a handful and quite literally the spawn of satan when you were angry and you weren’t just angry but livid.

“Get back here—!” And he’s gone before you know it, and even Jihoon mumbles a soft bye Tae samchon after he’s gone.

You sigh, resting your head against the frame of the door that was now shut in your face, stuck in your own house with the man that you’ve been helplessly pining over that looks way too at home with the way Jihoon plays with the softness of his black hair.

You turn around, closing your eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

When you open them, Yoongi has an eyebrow raised, placing Jihoon on his high-chair. And you don’t know why you found that act so hot but you couldn’t even set your own son down into that chair without him making a fuss but he only giggled cheekily when Yoongi did so.

“What for?”

He doesn’t sound angry, just genuinely confused. You purse your lips and walk towards Jihoon who was simply babbling to himself and grab a cloth to wipe at the appearance of a new stain on his shirt which you suspect he got from his playtime earlier, and you internally groaned at the fact that he probably found some food and decided that it would be a good addition to his play family.

“I know it’s really busy at the hospital this time around and Taehyung basically scammed you here … with us.” You fiddle with your fingers after you pick up a toy on the floor and pass it to Jihoon to keep him occupied as you have a much more … adult-esque conversation with Yoongi. While you made it clear to Jihoon that he didn’t necessarily have a father in his life because you owed him that much, you tried to steer far from conflict and turmoil so he wouldn’t have to grow up knowing only the lows of life.

Yoongi just … stares. And it’s unnerving because you could barely read the man in general and he was looking at you with a blank expression that only causes your anxiety to settle further into your bones. You’re thinking of about a million different ways to apologise or to spontaneously combust so you could save yourself from the scrutiny of Yoongi’s eyes. But before you can say anything and embarrass yourself, even more, he speaks.

“Do you think I don’t enjoy spending time with the two of you?” He frowns, and that’s the most expressive you’ve seen him throughout your entire friendship with the man. The fact that the first time he’s ever shown any explicit emotion around you is one of … disappointment … only makes you realise how far out of his league you were.

“N-No!” You shake your head, flustered at his tone. When you look at him, his face is much softer; a type of expression that shows longing but you aren’t quite sure why it’s there.

“It’s just … you’re busy, Yoongi. You’re a hotshot doctor at the best private healthcare facility in the city and you’re here spending the last night before the weekend with some pathetic single mom who still—by the way—can’t decide on how to brush my teeth just because it doesn’t feel right.”

Yoongi blinks at you, then he looks over at Jihoon and you’re confused for a second because it seems like he’s dismissing your mini ramble, but instead, he reaches out to Jihoon’s hand and bends down so he can look Jihoon straight in the eye.

“Hey, bud?” He calls out to Jihoon and your son looks at Yoongi with all the stars in his eyes.

Your heart softens at the interaction and notices how the way Jihoon doesn’t pull away when Yoongi reaches out to carry him in his arms again.

“Yoongi!” He squeals, squeezing the man’s cheeks between his chubby fingers and you can’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm and the way that Yoongi resembles a cat.

“I need to ask you something.” He whispers as if it were only the two of the room and you stand on the opposite of them with your arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

Your son bobs his head up and down in agreement as he waits for Yoongi to ask him his question.

“Yoongi …” You trail off but he pays you no mind.

“Do you love your mama?” The question surprises you and your mouth opens and closes, and your emotions are all over the place because the question makes you feel nearly inadequate. The way that he asks the question prompts you to wonder if it seemed like what you were doing for Jihoon just wasn’t enough.

“What is this even about?” You snap, eyes narrowed at Yoongi but he still ignores you.

Jihoon nods his cute little head eagerly without a moment of hesitation after Yoongi asks his … what you would say—preposterous question.

“I love mama with all my heart. She’s the best!” Jihoon giggles into Yoongi’s shirt as he leans his head against his chest. You don’t know why his words make you choke up when he tells you he loves you every day but the reassurance that your son does indeed love you makes you feel like you can do anything. It was also probably the fact that you noticed Yoongi smiling fondly between the two of you.

“Do you think she’s pathetic, Hoonie?” He throws your words to your son and you scowl at Yoongi who is still keeping his act of ignoring you very much alive.

“Pathedic?” Jihoon tilts his head again and you almost coo at the slight lisp he has when he asks.

Yoongi chuckles warmly and offers you a small smile as if to tell you that you’d see soon enough before repeating himself to your son.

“Bad.” Yoongi settles.

Jihoon gasps in his tiny little way and frowns, looking over at you with a cute crumpled expression that makes your heart swell even more. The urge to hold your son increases tremendously but you were still confused and curious as to what Yoongi was getting at.

“No no no! Mama is the best, didn’t you hear?” Jihoon squabbles.

You bite your lip to refrain from smiling so wide and choke back the tears that well up.

“Mama always cooks yummy food and never yells at me! I always see other mama’s yelling at their babies but mama … mama loves me too, right?” He rambles off and you sniffle.

“Love you a lot, Hoon.” You say from a distance and Jihoon is satisfied with your answer.

You turn to look at Yoongi and sigh.

“What is this about, Yoongi?” You sound stern and he acknowledges that. He knows the situation is much more serious than what he perceives but he can’t help but observe how the furrow of your brows resembles a squirrel. The comparison makes him want to laugh because you were so cute even when you were angry.

“I have one more question.” He tells you.

You don’t say anything but watch the way he leans in closer to Jihoon with eyes more serious than you’ve seen before.

“You want to see mama happy?” Yoongi whispers so softly that you almost miss it.

Jihoon nods.

“Of course. Mama always makes me happy. But she looks … lonely.” Jihoon frowns a little and you can’t help but have a tear fall. Your baby boy was young but observant and had a heart of pure gold. You didn’t need anyone but Jihoon but—

“What do you think if she gave you a papa?” Yoongi asks and the question stills your entire body. You don’t even see the way Jihoon lights up at the proposition and you also miss the way Yoongi looks over at you once to gauge your reaction.

“Will you be my papa Yoongi?” The question is what snaps you out of your reverie to realise the situation you were in and the allusion of Jihoon’s question.

“Jihoon! You can’t just—say sorry.” You squeak but Jihoon doesn’t pay you any mind because his attention is all on Yoongi who is smiling as wide as he possibly can.

“Only if your mom says yes, Hoonie. If only she knew how much I liked her.” He tells Jihoon but he’s looking at you. Your eyes are wide at the confession and your hands fall limp by your side; not knowing how to respond to Yoongi’s sudden confession.

It wasn’t anything spectacular, and it didn’t cause butterflies to erupt like it was in the movies but the confession was so wholeheartedly Yoongi that you felt so … comfortable. A surprising yet welcoming emotion.

Jihoon looks over to you but you’re looking at Yoongi who looks at you with soft eyes.

“Say yes mama!”

Yoongi stands up from his position to walk over to your frozen state until your hands rest on his chest unconsciously. He looks down at you as his arms wrap around your waist to pull you flush against his body. You blush and avoid his stare when he tries to catch your eyes. You know Jihoon is watching and that makes you feel all the more flustered. It was like you were back in high school and you were ‘canoodling’ behind your parents’ backs.

“Y-Yoongi …” You try to push him away but he reaches his hands to wrap them around your own.

“I’m sorry but you can’t run away from me this time ___.” He teases.

You flush and look away.

“I wasn’t … running …” You mutter.

He chuckles and shakes his head that you feel strands of his hair against your forehead when he leans in closer to connect your forehead with his own.

“Okay.” He agrees. He doesn’t put up a fight and you hate how even when you’re the one that’s flustered he can make you feel … safe. Calm.

“I like you, dumbass. I would go as far to say that I’m in love with you but I know how scared you get so let’s settle for the baby steps first, yeah?” He says so casually that your eyes bulge out of your eye sockets comically.

“You c-can’t just …” You blubber, “Say that!”

Yoongi scoffs.

“I like you Kim ___.”

You punch him in the chest but he doesn’t even flinch.

“No you don’t …” You whisper.

You don’t look at him but you can feel his frown.

“And who are you to tell me how I feel?”

You sigh.

“Yoongi … I don’t know if you heard what I said earlier but you’re … you … and I’m just some other girl that you know because of Taehyung and I’m a mother of a two-year-old. You could literally be with anyone you wanted and I just … you don’t like me. You just—can’t.” You exasperate.

He frowns at you, forcing your chin up to look at him with his index finger. You burn even redder at how close you were.

“I love you. I love Jihoon. And you need to get out of your pretty little head because I don’t want to be with anyone but you. I don’t know where you’re getting this weird picture of me being with anyone I want because I don’t want anyone. I want this—I want in, in this little family.”

You feel yourself choke up, and Yoongi notices so he holds you closer until your head is against his chest.

“I’m emotionally constipated half the time I interact with anyone but you just … you make me feel alive and things that I generally don’t feel on a daily basis. You and Hoon are the only things that keep me going with all the surgeries and stuff. I’m in love with you and it’s all your fault and Hoonie wants you to be happy as much as I do—so please: stop running.”

“Why are you running mama?” Jihoon asks and you remember your son is watching it all.

You flush but don’t move from Yoongi’s grasp. He thinks of this as a step forward because all you do is turn your head to look at Jihoon and offer him a smile through your tears.

You and Yoongi hear Jihoon’s whine and you see him reach his arms towards you as a gesture for you to carry him.

“Mama why are you crying!” He cries.

You feel Yoongi release you and you immediately reach out to Jihoon like it was second nature because it was. Jihoon was the only thing that kept you going when people would give you odd stares as a single mother especially when you were starting to look into preschools for your son. All the superiors would question your legitimacy and income when you were earning more than the average working man. You were always very particular about who you allowed into Jihoon’s life because he was young and got attached easily. But Yoongi made it so … easy. Just like he was that missing piece in both your and Jihoon’s lives.

“I’m okay bubs.” You kiss Jihoon on his cheeks as you hold back your tears.

“Don’t cry, mama.” Jihoon frowns and puts his thumbs between your furrowed brows just like you would always do when he was starting to sulk. You chuckle and hold your son closer to your chest, feeling all the more comforted.

“I’m serious about this ___ …” Yoongi steps closer to you and wraps an arm around you and Jihoon and the action feels so utterly domestic. You feel safe and content within his grasp.

“Yoongi …” You look up at him through your eyelashes and Yoongi has always been entranced with your beauty. It was never just about how beautiful you looked when you were a mother to Jihoon but the energy you carried around you was contagious and he’s immediately lightened up in your presence. He was patient with you because he knew you were serious about Jihoon and that he was your number one priority.

“No, please … listen to me ___.” He cups your cheeks while Jihoon is looking between the two of you with keen interest.

“I know you’re scared because of Jihoon and that’s valid. But I don’t want you to think that you’re not enough for me for superficial reasons because the truth is I probably won’t ever be enough for you and you’re here being the woman of my dreams. I respect your decision if you aren’t ready for a relationship and I won’t push you but I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere just because we aren’t together because I rather have you next to me as a friend than lose out on you forever.”

You had always been a crybaby and Taehyung was probably the reason why you cried all the time as children since he always had been the more rambunctious one between the two of you while you were far timider. But Yoongi knew that under all the times you shed tears because you were touched is a strong-willed woman that could withstand nearly anything in this world if it were for her son.

“And I know that I’m not over my head thinking this but … you want me too and it’s okay if you do but you don’t want a relationship. I respect you as a person, a woman and the mother of Jihoon. I just don’t want you to push me away.” He whispers so softly when he looks into your eyes.

“Mama …” Jihoon whines and you look down at him for a moment when he gives you a glare that doesn’t look so intimidating because of his bread cheeks.

“Yoongi is fun! Can he be our daddy?” You know his choice of words didn’t necessarily entail that context for you in particular but you blush anyway because he was just two. Yoongi senses your flustered state but squeezes your cheeks in between his hands and you feel coddled. It was a new feeling, one that was almost unfamiliar with how long you’ve been deprived of a significant other’s touch.

“I—Yoongi … I really don’t know what to say …” You mumble.

Yoongi smiles at you, comforting and homey all at once because Yoongi was a lot of things but never pushy.

“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t know if you realised this but I’m basically Hoon’s dad whether you like it or not because he and I spend more time together than I do with my colleagues at work and I work overtime all the time.” He teases.

“Jihoon really adores you.” You agree, biting on your lip as your mind races for the hundredth time this hour.

You liked Yoongi. You really did—and somewhere along the way, like turned into something more … dangerous. A territory that you usually reserved for Jihoon because you only had the capacity to care for one boy in your life but Yoongi smuggled his way into your heart and here he was causing a hurricane in your stomach.

The words he spoke were so truthful and genuine that you can’t help but believe that against all odds in the universe, Yoongi has somehow chosen you. You were the one that was afraid. He has always chosen you. That enough is shown when he makes his way after tiring shifts just to lay on your couch and play with Jihoon in times where all he could do was babble incoherent words. He chose you when he made surprise visits with the homemade stew that you knew he knew your son and you loved. He chose you when he invited you and Jihoon to spend Chuseok together because you mentioned just spending it with your son than with your family. His parents adored you and were even more taken with Jihoon.

He has always chosen you but now it was your turn.

“I love you.”

You say those words without much further thought because you’ve always felt it. Three words have never felt so safe on your tongue to utter into the atmosphere and you feel the same after the truth is out there. You always knew how you felt and you knew that Yoongi was smart to observe your feelings too, which was why when you finally said it he just looked … content. Happy—like he was in a place that was so familiar and comforting that he didn’t need to react any differently.

“I want—I want to be with you.” You clear your throat, “If you’ll have me.”

You look so shy and young—because you were. But you had that childlike innocence that he’s only ever had the pleasure to see when you would play fight with Jihoon. He feels his chest swell with pride knowing that he was the reason you looked like that and felt the way you did.

“Hmm … should I?” He leaned in closer until his breath was on your cheek.

You knew he was teasing you but you still can’t meet his eyes, and Jihoon simply giggles at the way Yoongi squeezes him between your chests in a way so comforting that Jihoon feels like it’s a warm hug from a blanket.

“Don’t tease …” You grumble.

Yoongi runs his hand through your hair and pulls your head closer to his to give you a gentle kiss on the lips. It was nothing seductive or implicative but so Yoongi. A kiss to show you he wanted this and that he felt whatever flurry of emotions you felt. A kiss like he was coming home.

He pulls away and you see Jihoon frowning between the two of your through your redness and shock.

“I wanna’ kiss too!” He whines, and you and Yoongi both look at your son with the stars in your eyes, then lock eyes with each other; and you do what comes naturally next.

You both kiss your son on the cheeks.

[candicewright]

all primes for the 111 questions list :)

Well, time to pull out the list of prime numbers.

002 - What is the bravest thing you've ever done?

Probably moving to Canada. I'm only here for a year, but still. I mean, I had to 1) leave the country I'd been living in for all my life 2) go to a country where I can't speak my first language (though I'm very good at English and I know some French) 3) basically start all over again in terms of relationships. This is not saying this was an epic feat by any means, I know a lot of people who have done it, but was very scary so I am proud of myself.

003 - Is it hard for you to show your feelings?

I kind of do that thing where I overshare so that people think they know what I'm feeling but I actually don't tell them what I'm going through. So, I guess?

005 - What is your favorite sound?

A running stream of water.

007 - What do you notice first when you meet a new person? (Both in real and on the internet)

In real life, it's usually how they look (I'm not going to be one of those who say 'their personality' because no, Karen, when you meet a person you can't infer their character telepathically) and also the vibes they give me, what my gut tells me they're like. I tend to trust that first impression a lot.

On the Internet, it's either their sense of humor or the stuff they like.

011 - What are you going to spend money on next?

Probably food. I may be tiny, but I'm one hungry human.

013 - What is your favorite place?

I answered this here. Sorry for not saying it again but I don't want to make this post longer that it's already going to be.

017 - How would you describe yourself in 3 words?

Curious, smart, creative.

019 - What time were you born?

Around 11:15 p.m on a good ol' Christmas Day.

023 - What is your favorite food?

Sushi. All types of sushi. I'm a sushi whore.

029 - Do you show affection in public?

I'm weir about this. I generally don't like people touching me. But if I'm the one to initiate the contact, I can be very affectionate. So, yes, if I'm with someone I care about and trust.

031 - Have you ever been to other countries? If yes, where?

Yes, here goes the list: Spain, Canada, England, Croatia, Greece, Italy, Montenegro, France and Germany.

I love travelling if you couldn't tell.

037 - What are 3 objects that are *very* important to you and why?

My computer because it's where I write and play videogames (two very important things in my life), my graphic tablet because I love drawing digitally and my stuffed animals because I've had them since I was a kid and they all have a lot of sentimental value (and they're cute. so. yeah).

041 - What is one illegal thing you would do if there were no consequences?

I don't want to say something typical like robbing a bank (though I'd definitely do that) so maybe hacking into the internet's database to have access to everyone's information. I would only use it to destroy some big and sketchy companies, mind you. But it would be fun :)

043 - Do you ever wish you were somebody else?

Yes? Doesn't everyone? I mean, I'm a non-binary, pansexual, female-presenting person so I've gone through a lot of discrimination and bullying. Have I ever wished I were someone else? Yes. Do I now? Not that much anymore. I'm comfortable with my identity right now. That doesn't mean I don't go through shit sometimes though.

047 - What do you want for your birthday?

Something Merlin related. Don't even get me started on this. I literally told all my friends AND my family that I wanted Merlin stuff for my birthday and NO ONE GOT ME ANYTHING WTF. Like, I don't ask for much like. ever. But I guess I'll have to treat myself to some stuff because no one else wants to.

053 - Do you want to get married? What are your views on marriage?

Yes? Maybe? I don't know. I like the idea of the wedding itself more than the being married part. I think marriage is cool as long as the people who are getting married love each other. Idk, I just want people to be happy.

059 - Would you rather go to a party or stay at home?

STAY AT HOME.

fuck human interaction.

061 - Are you a positive person?

I like to think so, yes. Though I tend to be more positive towards others than to myself.

067 - In your opinion, what is your best quality?

My ability to be passionate about everything I do/like.

071 -  In your opinion, what is the secret for a great relationship?

Communication.

073 - Is it hard for you to trust people?

No, I'm a very trusting person.

079 - Are you left or right handed?

Right handed.

083 - You are given one wish: What do you wish for?

The ability to fulfil all of my own wishes by myself. I don't need no genie or divine intervention to achieve my goals.

089 - Have you ever cheated on someone? Ever been cheated on?

I've never been in a relationship, so no.

097 - Would you rather commit to one person or have several relationships?

Commit to one person. One is more than enough.

101 - What is your Top 3 favorite shows? What was your Top 3 favorite shows when you were a kid?

Right now it's:

1. Merlin

2. The Witcher

3. Good Omens

When I was little I liked Heidi, Pipi Longstocking and Sandokan. Yes, I was one weird child. Blame my mom.

103 - What was your last meal? What was your last beverage?

Chicken alfredo and orange juice.

107 - Has anyone ever written a poem or a song dedicated to you? Have you?

No, thank god. Have I written a song/poem to myself? Hell no. To someone else? Yes, but I never showed them.

109 - If you could go back in the past, would you change anything? If yes, what?

Not really. I don't want to sound cliche, but those experiences made me who I am and I like myself right now. So no.

Well, that was a journey😅 Thank you for the asks!💜

[vsaucefanpage]

Hey Vsauce! Michael Here.

Hey Vsauce! Michael Here.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau right now, in America, there are 106 people named Harry Potter. 1 007 named James Bond and eight people named Justin Bieber. They're just aren't enough names to go around. There are more than 300 million people in America but a hundred and fifty thousand last names and five thousand first names is all you need to name 9 out of every 10 of them. When are we gonna run out of names? Perhaps it's already happened to you. If it hasn't, when? Ten years, twenty years, a hundred, a thousand. When will someone with your exact name become famous? So famous in fact that your legacy changes forever to just being not the person people think of when they hear your name. And for that matter, when will every reasonably memorable pronounceable band name or brand name be taken? When will authors have no choice but to just start reusing book titles? According to Rovi Corp, owner of AllMusic.com, the most used band name is 'Bliss', followed in order by 'Mirage', 'One', Gemini', 'Legacy', 'Paradox' and 'Rain'. In the past when fewer bands had already been created and you couldn't just Google up every single band, overlap was easier to get away with and one word band names were plentiful. But now, after years and years and years of band formation, well, we have The Who', but we also have 'The What?', The Where', 'The When', 'The Why', 'The How' and even 'The The'. In order to stand out now, and have your own unique name, you have to be a bit more creative. O', 'Diarrhea Planet' or 'Betty's Not a Vitamin', which, by the way, is no longer true. Betty became a vitamin in 1994. What about Twitter handles or email addresses? Have we already reached peak username? We already find ourselves often having to use abbreviations, initials, numbers or just choosing something completely different. Will our children or our children's children live in a world where the only remaining Gmail addresses is are just random strings of alphanumeric characters? Are we approaching a name crisis? And if so, should we even call it a name crisis, lest we use up yet another precious name? Maybe you already share your name with someone famous. But if you don't, how long will it be until you probably will? I mean, new famous people are popping up all the time faster now than ever before because of the Internet and they are gobbling up top Google search billing. Maybe it won't happen until long after you've been dead but shouldn't the reservoir names, not taken by notable people, eventually run out? Computer scientist Samuel Arbesman approximated how many famous people there are alive today and I think his calculation will be helpful. You see, he points out that if we allow "famous" to simply mean "being notable enough to have your own Wikipedia page", well, because there are 700,000 living people with Wikipedia pages right now, that means one out of every 10,000 people on earth today are famous. Assuming at the least that that proportion remains constant since 255 people are born every minute, that means every hour a future famous person is born. Their name destined to become primarily associated with them, not everyone else who shares their name. All of those people will be relegated to disambiguation or the post-nominal, not the famous one. Luckily, if you do the math, you'll find that even at a rate of one future famous person born every hour, it would still take dozens of millennia for most of us to expect a future famous person with our exact name to emerge. Plus names change. New ones become popular, others obsolesce, but for fun, let's not focus on names we popularly use and instead look at how many possible names there can be. The Social Security Administration allows up to 36 letters for a complete name. Now, including spaces, 27 letters filling 36 spots, with repetition allowed, means 3 sextillion possible combinations. That's more than Earth has atoms. So let's refine our limits. How many pronounceable names are possible? For that, I say we look at what Randall Munroe, the author of the fantastic 'What If?' did when asked about naming stars. If you want to give every single star in the observable universe a unique but pronounceable English name, how long would the names have to be? His approximation is really fascinating. If we define a pronounceable word as a word that contains consonant-vowel pairs, we can roughly figure that there are about 105 different such pair possibilities. 105. That's not too much different from 99. So, funny enough, there are about the same number of consonant-vowel pairs possible as there are two-digit numbers, which means we could give every star in the observable universe a sayable unique name with just 24 letters, the same number of digits it would take to just number all of them. So, the bottom line is we may each have to give up uniquely owning a word or name that's common today, but the potential number of names that can be made is really hardy. In fact, before we run out of those our species will likely evolve to communicate in a completely different way. Also, names aren't just labels. A name on a screen, a username, a handle, a screen name doesn't always act exactly like its owner. User names can travel more quickly and more widely than flesh-and-blood people and do things that their puppeteers wouldn't normally do away from the keyboard. It's called the online disinhibition effect. If you can't see the people you're interacting with and they can't see you, you're all just online hiding behind different names than usual, why hold back? I mean, clearly such a system can't be serious business. On the Internet no one knows you're a dog. Why be nice or tell the truth? The subreddit KarmaCourt investigates and uncovers people who may think that the less face-to-face nature of the Internet makes lies easier to get away with. Like this person, who posted an image suggesting that they've been single for a year but had users found out posted three months earlier a picture of my girlfriend's cat. These behaviors aren't just what humans do when they can be anonymous or can hide behind different names, these behaviors can also be caused by the names themselves. Studies have found that the username you use can impact how you behave. Your own pre-existing stereotypes and expectations of certain words, shapes, colors can be confirmed by your behavior, in the same way that studies have found NFL and NHL players play more aggressively when wearing black uniforms. Studies have also found that the more sexualized an avatar is you make someone use, the more conscious they will be of their own body image. And the more an avatar resembles you, the more correlated you watching it exercise is with you being more likely to exercise more. It's called the Proteus effect. The features of a cyberspace version of yourself, a username and avatar can actually change you, the meat space "IRL" you. Usernames and avatars then aren't just handles attached to us. Psychologically, we often interact with them as if they're friends, distinct beings we created. They help us out but they also can influence us, egg us on, dare us to do things we wouldn't normally do because they offer us protection, entertainment. Some make us feel safe, professional, funny, dangerous, attractive. We want cool ones. The cool ones make us look cool. As we go about our daily lives and vie for attention, we are more and more frequently doing so with another name and exclusively through that name only. So, it becomes quite interesting that we're not going to run out of them anytime soon. In fact, they might run out of us first and may, in many ways, run us. And as always, thanks for watching.

Are you a curious human? If so, you should check out these bespoke Vsauce Tshirts >> http://bit.ly/vsauce-merchandise-low-poly http://ift.tt/2uUCf4B

[allthemzeroes]

“Did I say downgrade, I meant upgrade.”

“I’d hardly call that an upgrade,” Dokkaebi says, looking somewhat-disapprovingly at the computers. She pulls out her tech and starts typing. “It’s only an upgrade in the sense that it’s better than it was before- I think. Your software kinda sucks. Who writes this stuff, a drunk toddler?”

[allthemzeroes]

“Try iiiit”

“Dude, serious?” Valerie grimaces. “I think the lunch ladies shat in your food. I’m not gonna eat that crap- ha, get it? No way.”

[allthemzeroes]

❝ Ah…numbers. The letters of math. ❞ (to Valerie ofc)

“I mean. There are letters in math. I see your point, but there are a hundred fucking percent letters in math, dude. Aren’t we in high school, what the fuck?”

[allthemzeroes]

"Nick, your coat's tearing," she announces one day, even going so far as to lift the hem of it to get a closer look. "You mind sitting down for a bit so I can patch it up?"

“What part of it isn’t tearing?” Nick asks. “I’d’ve thought it would be easier to find that.”

Although usually he’s the one patching it up or getting Ellie to help, so the gesture is appreciated.

“–sure, I can hold still long enough. Figured you’d want me to take it off, though.”

[allthemzeroes]

Bitters Grabbed Smith's shoulders from the back to get his attention. "hey,"

Smith jumps a bit- Bitters, don’t sneak up on ex-soldiers.

“Bitsy! You startled me. What’s wrong?”

[allthemzeroes]

"So this is the world I return to. How... disappointing." ((From @reptilianriverruler to Nisha))

@reptilianriverruler

Nisha has to laugh softly and elegantly.  “There isn’t much other place to be. Concepts of civility, decency, restraint, they died in the war. And if you’re out of the collar, Nuka-World is just where no one is fooling themselves.”

Her grin behind her mask is vicious, predatory.

“Fuck the stupid little lives of the narrow-minded. Here, the strong survive. It’s just that easy.”

[allthemzeroes]

🌎 and 🍟 for Valerie

🌎 - Does your muse want to change the world? How would they go about it?

Valerie is a very laid back older sibling, so she thinks that though there’s a lot of things that need to be changed, she’s, not gonna be the Oberlin who does it. She likes it that way.

Were she to have a crack at it? There are relatively few things about her world- Spooky High- she’d change, cause it’s not all bad. But she’d want people to lay off of, say, the Coven and the Slayer. Yeah, they can be goody two-shoes, which is boring, but everyone could use that kind of person around in case. She’d probably start by actually asserting any social capital she has towards that end.

🍟 - How does your muse feel about their body? Would they change it if they could?

Val digs a lot of her body! She loves her own look and her own sense of fashion, because she’s confident in herself. She wouldn’t change her appearance, but she wishes that her tail wouldn’t freak out and puff up when she hears loud, startling noises- it screws with the little tail-ring she keeps on there, man, and it’s embarrassing to boot.

[allthemzeroes]

"Hey, uh, Val, I've been meaning to ask you about what's gonna happen in a few weeks..."

“What, the Monster Prom?” Valerie rolls her eyes while counting her money. “Yeah, Vera’s trying to land prom queen, of course I remember that’s happening. What about it?”

[allthemzeroes]

❛  there’s no ‘we’ in fancy lad cakes.  ❜ - deacon!

“I don’t eat,” Nick replies, tone dry. “So there doesn’t need to be a ‘we.’ Does that settle the snack cake argument so we can move on?”

[allthemzeroes]

2, 3, 22, 23!!

2. Which muse(s) do you wish had more interactions?

All of them! Honestly most of them, especially the ones with obscure sources, are open to crossover. Is that in my rules? That should be in my rules.

3. Which muse(s) do you currently have most muse for?

It changes hour to hour depending on how I feel, but overall….Nick. Always. This blog is a Nick Valentine Vehicle. An Excuse for me to write Nick. I love one (1) synth.

22. List some of your favourite multimuse blogs.

The multimuse reading this!

No, seriously, I love all the multis I follow. Too much love for too many characters is a mood, and I like y’all.

23. Tag a multimuse blog and write some positivity about them (their blog, their muses, etc.)

I know the mun is busy right now, but apart from you I have to give a shout-out to @miscxllany. Anna-Belle, your love and dedication to your muses is a mood and a half, Maggie and I both love Mindy tons, and we haven’t written with Zach yet but we should soon. True sticking together in a rpc is staying mutuals when your muses constantly move blogs to consolidate things because the rpc is so tiny.

[allthemzeroes]

"Hey john," he held out a cup for Andersmith, it contained some eggnog. "we're clearing out the fridge from holiday stuff, you.... want some? before it goes bad?" the hope was to get smith to come over to him and stand under the yet to be taken down mistletoe.

“Oh! Thank you, Bitters.” Smith tries to extricate himself from his cleaning with little luck in terms of a clean extraction.

He wipes his hands on his pants, and trots over, extending a hand to take the offered drink.

“Is this the last of it, or do we have a lot to get rid of?”