#12dow 2016

[omegaqueencas]

Wincestmas Day 10

March 8th 1985

Dean slammed the door of Bobby’s house, fuming.  He threw his bookbag on the floor, pulled the folded piece of paper out of his pocket, looking at it with a mixture of anger and fear.

Bobby came into the living room drying his hands on a small towel. “What cha got there son?”

“A note.  Teacher says to give it to my parents.  Cn I just give it to you?” Dean bit his bottom lip.  He hoped the note didn’t want a meeting, but knew it probably would.

Bobby took the note, opened it. 

Dear Mr/Mrs Winchester,

We would like to schedule a meeting with you at your earliest convenience to discuss Dean’s behavior.  We are concerned with some statements he has been making in class and hope you will make the time to address this issue and work towards a solution.

Thank you

Mrs. Mercer

Bobby, looked down at Dean “What the Sam Hill did ya do now?”

“Nothin’, ‘s stupid” Dean stood shifting from one foot to the other “Cn I go play with Sammy now?”

“Yeah, go ahead.  The kid’s been miserable all day without ya here anyway” Bobby waved Dean on into the dining room where Sam was sitting in his high chair chewing on a cookie.

As soon as he saw Dean, Sam’s face lit up. “DE!!!  He smiled and wiggled happily.  Holding his chubby arms out to be picked up by his big brother. “ 

“Hey baby boy!  Miss me?” Dean picked Sammy up hugging him tight.  Dean carried the giggling toddler into the living room, sitting him down carefully before joining him to play with the set of blocks.

Bobby sighed.  He knew there was no way he could tell John about this.  Even if he could get ahold of him, pull him off of the job he was on, talk him into coming back for this, what good would it do?  John wouldn’t try to understand why Dean was doing anything, he’d just tell the teacher he’d make sure Dean straightened up, then come back and meter out some overly harsh punishment that would do nothing more than hurt Dean, teaching him nothing. 

Bobby picked up the phone, dialing the school’s number.  “Hello, this is John Winchester, I have a note here from my son’s teacher, and I ‘d like to schedule a meeting with her.  Yes, I’ll hold.” 

The next day Bobby took Dean to school.  Dean could barely contain his laughter as he watched Bobby introduce himself as John Winchester to the teacher.

Bobby was suitably dressed in a pressed suit and tie, another source of great amusement to Dean who’d never seen Bobby in anything but a flannel shirt and trucker’s cap. 

When they got to Dean’s classroom, Bobby told Dean to take Sam and go play with him while he talked to the teacher.  Dean took Sam’s hand and the two of them went off to the classroom play area.

“Thank you for coming in today Mr. Winchester.” Mrs. Mercer shot a withering look at Dean “I’m afraid we have a rather serious situation on our hands.”

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that ma’am” Bobby tried to sound sincere “What exactly did the boy do that’s caused such a ruckus?”

“Well let me show you,” Mrs. Mercer produced a hand drawn picture, obviously done by a child, showing two male stick figures, a house, what looked to be a dog and a car.  “Your son was asked to draw himself as a grown up.  Then explain about his life.  What he was going to be, where he’d live, and so on.”

Bobby looked at the picture searching for some clue that Dean had done anything wrong.  “I’m afraid I must be missing something here ma’am, I don’t see a problem.”

“Well, Mr. Winchester, when I asked Dean to explain his picture to the class, he said the people were himself and his brother Sam.  That when he grew up he and Sam were going to get married, live in a big house, with a dog, and drive around in the Impala all the time.”  Mrs. Mercer had a smug look on her face “So I’m sure you can see why I was so alarmed.  Something like this is an obvious sign that your son is very disturbed.”

Bobby frowned at the teacher “Maybe you better explain exactly what your problem with this is, because I’m still not seeing it.”

“Mr. Winchester! Surely the idea that your son not only wants to marry another man, but his brother cannot have escaped your notice.  That is a clear indication of a very troubled child.”

Bobby sat for a few moments considering what this woman was saying.  He’d been around long enough to know an intolerant bitch when he saw one.  He also knew, Dean saying he wanted to marry Sam, that didn’t bother him as much as it probably should.  He’d been around those two so much.  Seen how the love they had for each other was so pure.  Like nothing he’d ever seen before. He turned and looked over at the boys, playing together.  Dean was amazing with Sam.  Always patient, letting Sam have any toy he wanted, even if Dean was playing with it first.  Always putting Sam first.  As if that was the reason he was put on earth.   

“Let me ask you something Mrs. Mercer, how long you been a teacher?” Bobby began

Mrs. Mercer huffed “I’ve been teaching over ten years sir, why?”

“I assume to be a teacher, you had to go to college and whatnot, right?”

“Yes, I have a Master’s Degree in education, where are you going with this?”

“Well, I assume somewhere in there you had a psychology class or two?  And in that class, I’m pretty sure they talked about how in early childhood, little girls will say they want to marry their daddy, and little boys will say they want to marry their mom.  So how far removed is it that, since Dean doesn’t have a mom, he’d want to marry the person in his life he feels the most connected to?  Kids his age don’t know what marriage is.  They don’t even know what it means to love someone that way.  All they know is you marry someone and spend your life with them.  Well Dean doesn’t love anyone more than he loves Sam.  So, in his mind, he loves Sam, so he’ll marry him.  What’s wrong with that?” Bobby raised his eyebrows and stared at the shocked teacher.

“Mr. Winchester, I – I well I” Mrs. Mercer stammered

“But then again” Bobby interrupted “If you’re commenting on Dean saying he wants to marry another man, saying that’s something he shouldn’t be saying, well I have an attorney friend who would love nothing more than to slap a lawsuit on this school for suppression of my son’s civil rights.  If he’s gay and he realizes it at five years old, who are you to tell him it’s wrong?”

Mrs. Mercer was frozen in her seat.  She opened her mouth, then snapped it closed. 

“Yeah that’s what I thought” Bobby snorted “So I can assume this issue is resolved, correct?”

“Uh uh, yes? I mean, yes of course.  I’ll be looking forward to seeing Dean back in class tomorrow.” Mrs. Mercer smiled weakly.

“Dean, get Sam and let’s go.” Bobby stood up watching as Dean took Sam’s hand and walked out to the car with him.

Those two? Together? He could see it. 

written by @debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

Wincestmas Day 8

Excerpts from the Journal of Robert Singer

April 5th 1986 –

Got a call today from John Winchester, he needed a favor.  Should’ve told him no straight off.  He shows up with two kids askin if I’d keep an eye on em while he hooks up with Elkins to do a hunt.  Son of a bitch didn’t even wait for me to say yes or no, just dumps the kids and takes off.   Cute kids, quiet though.

May 1st 1986 –

Found out just today, Sam’s birthday is tomorrow.  What the hell kind of father leaves a kid on his birthday?  Good thing Dean finally started talking, I was beginning to wonder about him.  He’s awful quiet, like he’s thinking about things all the time, studying on the situation like he might have to run or fight.

Sam’s the complete opposite.  That little boy could talk your ear off, then go in for the other one.  And questions!  Lord have mercy I can’t believe that child is only gonna be three tomorrow.  He sounds like he’s ready to argue a case in front of the Supreme Court.  He’d make a good lawyer, come to think of it. 

At least I got both of them on a schedule with bedtimes and such.  Finally got Dean to eat.  That was a battle let me tell you.  Every single meal he’d sit there, staring at his plate until he was sure Sam was finished.  Then he’d eat about half of what I gave him.  Only I didn’t know that since he was taking the leftover food, wrapping it up, then hiding it in their room.  Took me a week to figure out what the ungodly smell in there was.  Then I found the stash of half rotten food.  Dean was so scared I was mad he almost made himself sick.  What the hell happened to this child that he thinks I’m going to beat him for hiding food?  And why does he think he has to hide food to start with?

June 14th 1986 –

Wonder of wonders John actually called to check on the boys today.  Didn’t want to talk to them, just wanted to know if they were behaving.  I gotta wonder how broken you have to be to only care that your children are obeying the rules.  Not if they are happy or healthy or if they miss you.  I understand he lost his wife.  I lost mine.  But I didn’t have kids to raise.  These boys need their dad, not some drill Sargent. 

Little Sam cried when he found out John called because he didn’t want to leave here.  I asked him why and he told me he and Dean wanted me to be their daddy because I was nice to them.  Almost broke my heart to hear that little voice tell me how John would beat Dean with a belt if Sam did something wrong. 

I finally got Dean to trust me enough to talk to me.  He told me he hid the food because lots of times they didn’t get enough to eat and later Sam would cry he was hungry.  If Sam cried John would beat Dean with a belt because it was Dean’s job to take care of Sam, so if Sam was crying Dean must not be doing his job. 

Dean would wait until Sam was done eating, make sure he said he’d had enough, then Dean would eat half his food saving the other half for later when Sam would say he was hungry.  After hearing that I got to looking at the boys real close.  Noticed Sam was chubby with healthy pink cheeks.  Dean was a little too thin, not enough to notice right away, but if you looked careful you could see the dark circles under his eyes, the way his ribs showed a little more than most boys his age, the same for his arms and legs, a little thin. 

I had to excuse myself to go check the oil on my truck after that.  Good thing I had a clean handkerchief with me, ended up getting something in my eye.

June 3rd 1991

John dropped the boys off for the summer, at least he told them goodbye this time.  Mighty nice of him considering they probably won’t see him again till Labor Day.  After that he’ll have school to babysit them all day.

Signed Dean up for summer baseball and Sam for soccer.  Sam’s team won the championship last year, so they are pretty excited to have him back. 

I guess I’m kinda lucky the boys are as close as they are.  They don’t seem to mind having to share a bed, makes it easier on me since I only have to clean out one room for the both of them.  Watched them for a while today.  Sam just lights up whenever he manages to make Dean smile.  And he tries all the time.   That kid can be so goofy I swear.   I honestly believe that Dean would die for Sam.  He looks at Sam sometimes like he’s the only person in the world.  What they have shines off them.  It’s like they’re more than brothers.

September 28th 1997

John and the boys got here late last night.  John and I are leaving today to take on a big vamp nest in New Mexico.  Sam and Dean are staying here to field phone calls and basically look after the place.

Sam was acting strange, well stranger than a normal 14 year old acts when he overhears his dad telling his older brother, he’s leaving the Impala with him so he has somewhere to take his dates instead of sneaking them into his room while he’s gone.  That boy had a look on his face like his heart was breaking right in two.

Then as soon as John walked away, Dean went straight to Sam, put his arm around him, messed up his hair and told him not to worry, he wasn’t planning on going on any dates that week.  It would just be the two of them, fishing, maybe some trips to the arcade, any geek boy movie Sam wanted to go see and whatever old moldy cowboy videos I had.  Gotta admit that last one stung a bit. Old? Moldy? Chisolm Trail is a classic!

Anyway, Sam lit up like the Captain of the football team just asked him to prom.  Then I heard Dean call him “baby boy” and it clicked.  Sam’s in love with Dean.  And I’m pretty sure Dean feels the same way.

I see the little touches, the smiles.  I see how they look at each other when the other isn’t looking.  Gotta be honest, I wish it hadn’t happened, but it did.  They fell in love.  Both of em being guys is one thing.  People have gotten a lot more tolerant of that lately.  But them being brothers, yeah that’s gonna be an issue.  I don’t have a problem with it personally.  As long as no one is forcing anyone to do anything against their will.  From what I can see, Sam is so willing he can barely contain himself.  Dean must be tryin to hold out till Sam’s a little older.  Good for him.  Hope they make it.

December 31st 1999

New Year’s Eve at the end of the millennium.  John, Sam and Dean are here.  Sam and Dean are together.  John of course, doesn’t know.

I caught sight of ‘em out back arms around each other, full on kiss.  Have to admit, brought tear to my eye the way they look at each other when they think no one can see them.  I truly believe in my heart those two are true soul mates.

Told John I was takin him out to my favorite bar to get drunk and find a willin’ gal to kiss our ugly mugs at midnight.  That should give those two a few hours to be together without having to pretend.  I’d be hard pressed to describe the looks of excitement on their faces when they heard. 

March 4th 2001

Sam’s acceptance package from Stanford came today.  Full academic scholarship for four years.  I’d be impressed but I know this is going to kill Dean.  I think Sam know it too.  I could hear it in his voice when I called to tell him. 

August 12th 2001

Spent most of the day dealing with the mess Sam left when he got on that bus for Stanford today.  Between John saying he’d better stay gone and Dean so hurt I’m not sure he’s gonna make it I’ve had to go to the liquor store twice today. 

September 1st 2001

Couldn’t take it anymore.  Sat Dean down and told him I knew.  He tried to act like he didn’t know what I was talking about, but once I made him understand I was truly okay with it, he broke down. 

I gave him $1000 and told him to go to Stanford and be with Sam.  Don’t tell anyone you’re brothers.  Get a job and a place to live then be together.  Told him I’d deal with John.  Figured I’d just say Dean needed to hunt on his own.  Never saw anyone so happy to do a complete lifestyle 180 in his life. 

October 31st 2005

Called Dean.  Told him no one’s heard from his dad in a few weeks.  He’d better get Sam and get here asap.  He said Sam might not want to come but he’d do his best.  I asked him how the two of them were doing, he said great.  Since it was free, Sam was living in student housing, but the two of them spent almost every night together. 

Sam had a girl room-mate, they were best friends.  Dean hadn’t met her yet, but said if he didn’t know how much Sam loved him he might be jealous.  Then he laughed.  Never get tired of hearing those boys laugh.  They really don’t do it enough.

November 15th 2011

Dean told me about Sam being tricked into getting married to some weird stalker girl while I was off hunting Vamps in Oregon.  Said it shook him up so bad he’s gonna propose to Sam and wondered if I could get them fake I.D.s for Iowa, since it was legal for them to get married there, as long as they weren’t brothers. 

Congratulated him and told him not to expect me to walk either of them down aisle.  I lied.  If they asked, I’d do it in heartbeat, the idjits.

written by @debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

Merry Wincestmas Day 9

January 17th 1999

Dean sat in the parking lot waiting for Sam to get out of school.  He checked his watch for probably the tenth time in five minutes.  Still five minutes to go. 

“What the fuck?” Dean turned on the radio hoping it would distract him.  Accordingly the gods of bad timing and douche bag music were working together at that moment in time.

Tell me do you think it’d be all right If I could just crash here tonight You can see I’m in no shape for driving And anyway I’ve got no place to go And you know it might not be that bad You were the best I’d ever had If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago I might not be alone

“Oh fuck just kill me now” Dean reached over to turn the station, but stopped. 

Tell me do you think it’d be all right If I could just crash here tonight You can see I’m in no shape for driving And anyway I’ve got no place to go And you know it might not be that bad You were the best I’d ever had If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago I might not be alone

 “FUCK! Just kill me now!” Dean started to change the station but stopped, laid his head back on the seat closing his eyes. Tomorrow we can drive around this town And let the cops chase us around The past is gone but something might be found To take its place…hey jealousy And you can trust me not to think And not to sleep around If you don’t expect too much from me You might not be let down Cause all I really want is to be with you Feeling like I matter too If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago I might be here with you

A single tear slipped down Dean’s cheek.  A promise.  One little promise.  Just words.  That’s all Sammy had asked for.  Tell me do you think it’d be all right If I could just crash here tonight You can see I’m in no shape for driving And anyway I’ve got no place to go And you know it might not be that bad You were the best I’d ever had If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago I might not be alone Hey jealousy She took my heart Well there’s only one thing I couldn’t start

Like the song hadn’t been enough, Dean opened his eyes to see Sammy.  He was standing to the left of the large double doored entrance to the school, up close next to the wall so he was partially hidden by a large stone column.  And he wasn’t alone. 

And why shouldn’t he be talking to someone?  I mean it’s not as if … but it was … and if Dean had just … but why did Sammy have to be so stubborn?  Why was he so afraid to admit how he felt?

 (one week ago)

“So, if you don’t want me to see anyone else, why do you get to go out with girls?” Sam was arguing his point like a lawyer in front of a hostile jury.

 Dean threw his hands up “Really Sammy?  We have had this argument so many times.”

 “And yet it never seems to get resolved does it Dean?”  Sam’s voice was starting to break “I love you Dean.  I’m in love with you.  And you told me you loved me.  Has that changed?”

 “No Sammy, it hasn’t.  It won’t ever.  I love you.”

 “Then stop fucking those girls Dean.  If you love me, then just be with me.  Promise me we’ll be together forever.  No one else.”  Sam’s eyes were shining with tears.

 “Sammy, please.” Dean choked back a sob “Don’t ask me to do that.  I have to do it to make sure dad doesn’t find out about us.  Do you think I like it?  I don’t even fuck them anymore, did you know that?  I just make out with them, maybe get a blow job, then make some excuse.”

 “Oh well that just changes everything.  You don’t fuck them anymore, am I supposed to be happy about that?  So, by your own logic, it’s okay if I blow someone, just not fuck them, right?” Sam knew he’d inferred he’d be giving rather than getting the blow jobs.  He’d done it on purpose. 

 It took Dean a moment to realize what Sam had said.  Sam was talking about going out with other guys.  Dean’s heart froze in his chest.  The image of some other guy touching Sam, hearing the little moans and sounds he made.  Sam sucking some other guy’s cock.  Someone else coming in his mouth, on Sammy’s sweet lips.

 Dean groaned.  If a werewolf had torn out his guts it would hurt less than the images running through his head right now.  But he just couldn’t risk their dad finding out, he just couldn’t.  And that meant … it was true what Dean said about not liking it.  He actually hated it.  Most of the time he didn’t even get hard.  But what was he supposed to do?

 Dean’s voice was broken “I love you Sammy.  More than you know.  But I can’t risk dad finding out about us.  He’d take you away from me, forever.  And I can’t do that.  I can’t live without you Sammy.  So, if that means I have to let you … with who ever … I can’t stop you.”

 Dean hadn’t waited for Sam’s answer.  He’d grabbed his coat and left.  They didn’t talk about it again.  Dad had come home the next day and had been home ever since, so they hadn’t managed to have much contact other than a few touches, a few rushed kisses. 

 (now)

Dean could just barely see who Sam was talking to.  It was a guy.  Chris?  Dean thought he remembered the guy’s name.  Sam had talked about him before.  He was really popular.  On the Student Council, honor roll all that egg head nerd stuff Sam loved all wrapped up in a surprisingly attractive package.  Tall, probably a bit taller than Dean.  Sandy brown hair, longer than Dean’s but not quite as long as Sam’s.  Obviously worked out.  Arms and abs looked gym sculpted, as opposed to hard work.  Dean laughed to himself at the thought of Chris facing a vamp or a werewolf, probably piss his pants and scream like a little girl.

 Dean’s humorous thought was cut off suddenly as Chris put his arms around Sam and pulled him into a hug.  His face was barely an inch from Sam’s.  Sam was looking up at him listening to what he was saying intently.  As Dean watched, his blood beginning to boil, Chris slowly slid his hand down, bringing it around to cup Sam’s cock, going in for a kiss.  

 That was more than Dean could take.  He was out of the car before Chris could move the tiny space between his mouth and Sam’s.

 “Sammy!  Hey, there you are!” Dean put on a huge smile and jogged slowly over to where Sam and Chris were standing.  At the sound of Dean’s voice they had sprung apart.  As soon as he was close enough, Dean made a quick check and was relieved to see Sam wasn’t hard. 

 “Dean!” Sam smiled “Chris, this is my … boyfriend Dean.  I told you about him.”

 Not missing a beat, Dean put an arm around Sam pulling him in close.  As Sam melted into Dean’s side, Dean put a finger under Sam’s chin, tipping his face up looking deeply into Sam’s eyes before kissing him softly. 

 After kissing Sam until he was weak kneed, Dean extended a hand “Chris, hey Sam’s told me so much about you.  Congrats on the Student Council thing.” 

 Chris shook Dean’s hand with a skeptical look on his face.  “Yeah, thanks.  So, you’re Sam’s boyfriend?  How is that considering Sam hasn’t been here all that long and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around?”

 Dean’s smile switched from friendly to dangerous.  But only Sam noticed the change, giving Dean’s waist a small squeeze it’s okay don’t kill him.

Dean’s hand on Sam’s shoulder tightened slightly I got this Sammy, he can live, this time

“I work for Sam’s dad.  He gave me a job when Sam and I got together.  He’s pretty cool like that.  Realized how much we meant to each other, didn’t want his baby boy to be sad, so he figured I could just travel with them.” Dean smiled, loving how Sam had shivered when he heard Dean say his favorite nick name.

 Chris looked a little unsure, “Yeah, okay well I’ll see you tomorrow Sam.  Um, nice to meet you Dean.”

 Once they were in the Impala, Dean quickly drove away from the school going on until he found a side gravel road.  He turned off following it until it ended.  Once parked he pulled Sam to him, kissing him softly until Sam was boneless in his arms. 

 “I – I didn’t want him to touch me.  I just wanted you to see me talking to him.  He wasn’t taking no for an answer.  But I wouldn’t have let him do anything, really Dean.”

 “I believe you baby boy.” Dean couldn’t take his eyes off Sam’s face.  His eyes, an indescribable color that changed with his moods.  Light hazel with flecks of blue and green, even gold.  “Sammy please forgive me.  I’m an idiot, really.  I never realized how much I was hurting you until … I mean the thought of you with someone else Sammy, I just … no way I could handle that.  No one touches you but me.”

 Sam was smiling “Does that mean what I think it does?  Are you going to stop going out with girls?  Being with them?”

 Dean sighed, “Yeah Sammy it does.  I don’t know how I’m gonna hide it from dad, but I’ll figure something out.  Because there’s no way I’m letting anyone else come between us.  You got that?  You and me.”

 “I got it.” Sam settled into Dean’s arms, the only place he ever wanted to be.

written by @debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

Happy Wincestmas - Day 12 * REVEAL*

Dean & Sam’s Sex Playlist

For the final day of the 12 Days of Wincestmas, I present the playlist Sam and Dean listen to when they have sex. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed my stories.  I had a lot of fun writing them.

(All songs are available on You Tube.  My suggestion is to make a playlist, load the songs in the order I have them, choose your favorite fan fic sex scene and let it play’)

 HAPPY LISTENING!

Marvin Gaye – Let’s Get It On

Bad Company – Ready For Love

Doors – Riders On The Storm

Rolling Stones – Wild Horses

Led Zeppelin – Kashmir

Nine Inch Nails – Closer

Halestorm – I Get Off

The Moody Blues – Nights In White Satin

@debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

Love Song

October 1998 – Love Song

Sam walked in the door of the small house dad had rented for them before he left on another hunt.  He tossed his bookbag on the floor, toed off his shoes and went to the fridge hoping Dean had left him at lease something to make a sandwich with. 

Oh boy, peanut butter with no jelly, again.  Sam sighed and turned around seeing a note on the small kitchen table. 

Sammy –

Got a date after work with Nicki   Vicky  Angie.  Hope I remember it before I pick her up. 

Be home late.  Pizza money in usual place.

Later D.

Sam sighed, checking the empty coffee can in the cabinet.  At least he’d left enough to get a medium this time instead of just a small.  Sam ordered the pizza, then went to the room he and Dean were sharing while they lived there.

Dean had gotten a guitar for his 17th birthday.  Not a good one, but then again Dean couldn’t play guitar so it didn’t have to be that good.  He did like to practice however, all hours of the day and night, the three chords he knew, over and over.

Having practiced those three chords to perfection for over half a year, Dean now decided he was going to write his own songs.  So, the room was littered with wadded up pieces of notebook paper containing the beginnings of, what Dean was probably sure would be a million selling hit.  Turns out he couldn’t manage to hit the waste basket either.

Sam picked up ball after ball of Dean’s attempts to match the song writing efforts of Page and Plant, Lennon and McCartney.  Sam unfolded a few of them out of curiosity.  Really?  He was trying to rhyme Impala with fella?  Sam unfolded a few more.  Eventually he gathered them all up, and took them to the living room to read while he waited for the pizza to come.

Most of them were pretty much what Sam expected:

Oh baby you’re so hot

Wanna love on you a lot

Show me what you got

Gonna give you  Gonna tell you  Gonna

Some were flat out rip offs of other songs:

Comin up back on the road

Did some time took a few shots

Went a while now I’m back on the road

Just a guy and his car and they ride

Then there were the ones that made Sam wonder what Dean was smoking while he was in school.  Seriously.

Night falls, it’s dark, sunshine is gone, so many stars

I ride the rainbow colors in my head as shadows fall

Winds blow cold, so very old, never seeing what I see

Echoes of yesterday, seems so far away, floating over the wall.

Sam laughed out loud at the last one.  He was still laughing when the pizza came and the delivery guy gave him a “party on dude” wink as he handed it to him.  Sam threw him a bitchface but doubted the stoner noticed or cared.

Settling in, Sam ate his pizza, watched a surprisingly good animated version of The Hobbit done for British TV, forgetting about the discarded attempts at rock n roll stardom that now littered the floor in front of the couch.

Once The Hobbit was over, Sam couldn’t find anything else to watch so he went back to reading Dean’s “greatest” hits.  He had decided to quit and just go to bed early when he began to read one that made his heart skip a beat. 

Sitting up, Sam smoothed out the page carefully, took a few deep breaths then read the lyrics.

______________________________________________

Lying next to you each night, watching as you sleep.

Warm and soft, your skin on mine.

I ache to hold you in my arms.

While I whisper soft, you’re all I need.

Baby boy, how do I tell you?

You’re every breath I take, every dream I ever dreamed.

What crime did I commit to have you here?

But never be able to touch you, and feel you touching me?

Trying to say I love you, the words aren’t there

I get lost in your eyes, so many colors, so bright.

If I thought you wanted me like I want you

I’d make love to you tonight.

Baby boy, how do I tell you?

How do I make you understand?

The love I have for you is just so real

You’re holding my heart in your hand.

____________________________________________

At the bottom of the page Dean had written “write some music and sing for Sam on his 16th birthday” then crossed it out.

Sam’s heart was like a jackhammer in his chest.  Dean loved him?  Dean was in love with him?  Oh God, Dean was IN LOVE with him.  It was like every dream Sam had ever had was coming true.  Sam’s hands were shaking so badly he had to put the paper down before he ripped it to shreds.

But Dean was his brother.  And it was wrong … wasn’t it?  No part of their lives had ever been right by anyone’s definition.   Knowing that the things everyone feared were out there in the dark, really were out there in the dark.  Their mom being murdered in his nursery by a demon.  Never having a real home, a real room, anything real.  Left alone for days, weeks on end while their father was on an obsessive quest.  And even when he was there, he wasn’t really there.  He was drunk, passing out, having nightmares where he’d scream their mom’s name. 

Of course, he and Dean would turn to each other.  Why not?  They’d slept in the same bed the majority of their lives, they were sharing one now in fact.   Dean had kissed him, just that one time, in the field on the Fourth of July.  That was the moment Sam was sure he was in love with Dean, now he knew, Dean was in love with him.

The front door slammed making Sam jump.

“Sammy?! Yo Sammy, I’m home!” Dean was tossed his coat on a chair, unlaced his boots leaving them next to the door, grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sauntered into the living room.  He stopped cold, his beer halfway to his mouth when he saw Sam sitting on the couch surrounded by wadded up paper. 

Sam stood up, tears in his eyes, holding the paper with the song Dean had written to him against his chest.  “Dean … “

“Sammy, w-what is that?  Sammy what did you do, where did you … what … oh fuck” Dean’s eyes were wide with terror.  “Sammy don’t hate me, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I wrote …”

Sam put his fingers on Dean’s mouth to stop him.  As he pulled them away Dean tried to start again so Sam did the only thing he could do, he pulled Dean to him and kissed him. 

Dean was in shock at first, but quickly realized what was going on, letting the beer fall to the carpet he gathered Sam into his arms, kissing him back. 

After a few moments, Sam pulled away to catch his breath.  Looking into Dean’s eyes, a shade of green so beautiful.  “Say it Dean, please.  I need to hear you say it.” Sam whispered

“I love you Sammy.  Everything I wrote in that song, I mean every word.  I love you, I want you, I need to be with you.  You’re my world Sammy, my everything.  I’m in love with you baby boy”

“That’s all I needed to hear Dean” Tears were running freely down both their faces now. “I know you’re scared, I am too.  I know we have to get past this ‘wrong’ thing.  I don’t even want to think about dad, like ever.  All I know is I’m in love with you Dean. I want you, I want to be with you, I want to spend my life with you.  Everything else is details.  We’ll work them out like we always do.  Together.”

“The first time I held you Sammy I asked you if you were mine.  You opened your eyes, looked at me, and I knew you were.” Dean held Sam’s hands in his.  “Are you Sammy?  Still mine?”

“Always ever been yours Dean”

written by @debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

New Years Eve

December 31st - 2016

“Almost midnight baby boy” Dean grinned in the darkness. 

He and Sam thought it would be fun to have the last sex of the year in the back seat of Baby in the MOL garage. 

“So, are we supposed to be thinking of the past or the future tonight?” Sam mused.  His head pillowed on Dean’s chest, both of them naked, a little sticky, but so very happy. 

Dean shrugged “Honestly, I think you fucked me stupid Sammy.  Because I can’t think of anything other than maybe … round two?”

“Have you no sense of romance at all?  Is sex all you ever think about?” Sam tried to sound offended, but failed.

“I think about how much I love you.” Dean’s voice was quiet

Sam lifted his head and looked at Dean in shock.  He opened his mouth to say something but Dean put his finger against Sam’s lips.

“When did you first know you were in love with me Sammy?  I mean really in love.”

Sam didn’t hesitate a second.  “The Fourth of July!  The year we set off all those fireworks in that big field, remember?

Dean looked up at Sam like he couldn’t believe his ears.  Remember?  Dean was pretty sure he would remember that night for the rest of his life.

“That was the night I was sure I was in love with you.  I remember the fireworks falling out of the sky, the way they sparkled in your eyes, the feeling that you’d done all that for just me.”  Sam paused

“You remember the kiss don’t you Sam?” Dean’s voice was quiet and soft

It wasn’t long or passionate but Sam remembered it.  The first time Dean ever kissed him.  It had been a spur of the moment thing.  Sam was hugging Dean to thank him for the fireworks.  He was so much shorter back then, the top of his head just touching Dean’s chin.  Sam loved the way he fit there when Dean hugged him.  Like it was where he was supposed to be. 

Dean had looked down at the same time Sam looked up.  There was a sudden spark between them, a feeling, a pull that neither of them understood but were powerless to ignore.  Dean had leaned down and Sam stood on his tiptoes.  When their lips touched, Sam was sure his heart was going to explode right then and there.  He was going to die and he didn’t care because he was in Dean’s arms kissing him and for Sam, he could think of no better way for his life to end.

“Sammy?  Still in there?” He looked up and Dean was staring at him.

 “Yeah … I fell in love with you that night” Sam’s eyes were shining with tears. 

Dean entwined his fingers with Sam’s.  “I really didn’t intend that to happen you know.  I just wanted to make you happy … because … that was the summer you … um … God you were just so sad Sammy … I didn’t know what to do.  Then I found your journal …”

Sam gasped when he thought about that journal.  He’s started it as an English assignment then kept it going.  The summer he was 13, Sam was sure he wanted to die.  He kept having all these feelings he didn’t understand, and didn’t know how to deal with.  And the one person he was used to talking about all that to, was the person who was making him have the feelings.  Dean.  Sam remembered agonizing for hours, writing pages and pages of ways he was going to kill himself so he didn’t have to be a freak. 

It was wrong to look at your older brother and want to touch him.  To jack off in the shower because he was just in there before you and you could imagine him naked standing next to you.  It was sick that he liked to listen to Dean have sex with girls, and sometimes, if he could get away with it, watch.  And it just got worse that summer after school got out.  With nowhere to go during the day, he had to spend hours and hours alone with Dean, and Sam couldn’t take it.

“You wrote some pretty raw shit in that journal Sam.  I cried every time I read it because I knew you were hurting so bad, and it was all my fault.”  Dean looked down “And the worst part of all.  I was having the same feelings about you.”

Sam’s voice dropped to a whisper as his fingers tightened around Dean’s.  “Oh God… Dean?  You …you?”

“Yeah Sam.  I was thinking about you all the time.  You were so sweet and innocent.  All those times you’d crawl into bed with me, making up some lame excuse that you had a bad dream, or you were cold or whatever.  I’d lay there awake with you sleeping in my arms, cursing God for giving me this beautiful creature that I wasn’t allowed to touch.  God I sound like a fucking chick.” Dean wiped his eyes with his hand. “Oh, this is the worst, I actually dated girls with brown hair and hazel eyes so I could sort of pretend they were you!  How fucked up is that?” Dean laughed sadly. 

“But why … why… if you knew I felt the same way, why didn’t you …”

“Um… I don’t know Sam … JAIL? … Dad taking me out somewhere and shooting me? … God, you were 13 fucking years old Sam!  I was almost 17.  I was a pedophile, a pervert, a ���”

“A freak?” Sam looked up at Dean “I know how it feels.”

“You’re not a freak Sammy.  And neither am I.  What we have is real.  It’s pure, and it’s right.  I don’t care who knows about us, and I don’t give a shit what they say.”  Dean growled “We’re grown men Sammy, and who we love is none of anyone’s fucking business.”

“Dean? Are you saying we should, I don’t know like, come out?  Is that right?  I mean, I don’t think of us as gay, but we are two guys and we are together … “ Sam trailed off into deep thought.

“Don’t overthink it baby boy.  Just stay with me forever, just like this.  The only difference will be, we’ll stop bitching about everyone calling us an old married couple or assuming we’re a couple at all, because … well, we are” Dean smiled  “Hey, what do you say we go out and get matching rings and wear em?  Go for it, the whole enchilada”

Sam sat up staring at Dean as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard him right.

“Dean, it almost sounds like … I mean are you …  Dean are you proposing to me?” Sam stammered.

Dean looked into Sam’s eyes.  The eyes he’d gazed into almost 34 years ago, seeing perfect love that had existed for eternity between the two of them.  A love that had transcended all odds.  Had conquered Heaven and Hell.  Had stopped the apocalypse, defeated Lucifer, death, and the darkness itself.  Love that God himself orchestrated and made reality. 

Dean slid off the seat, got down on his knees in the only real home the two of them had ever known.  “Yeah… I am.  Will you marry me Sammy?”

Fresh tears filled Sam’s eyes, “Yeah Dean, I will”

Dean pulled Sam into his arms and kissed him like they were back in that field, all those years ago.  Fireworks exploding overhead, the smell of summer all around, the person he loved more than anyone else in the world, in his arms.  “I love you Sammy”

“I love you Dean” … “Dean I’m not wearing a dress…”

“Aw come on Sammy!  You can wear white!”

written by @debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

Merry Winestmas Day 4

Heaven – 1978 

The cupid cleared his throat again, with no response.  “Excuse me, Heavenly Father?” Again, no response.  “God? … Chuck?”

“Yes, how can I help you my child?” Chuck beamed at his cupid

“We’re all set up for the first of the Winchester children to be conceived.  You said you wanted to know before we assigned souls.” The cupid stood, book in hand ready to write down whatever special instructions Chuck had for him.

Chuck continued typing for a few minutes before pulling the paper out of his classic Underwood typewriter, staring at the page for a moment, then placing it on top of a large stack of pages. 

“Yes, I have very specific plans for the children of John and Mary Winchester.  Before I go into detail I need to tell you I’ve thought long and hard about this.  It was not an easy decision to make believe me.  But it is essential to the very survival of mankind that you follow my instructions to the letter.  Are we clear?” Chuck took off his reading glasses for emphasis.

The cupid gulped “Yes, Heavenly … God … Chuck.  I’m sorry sir I am really having a hard time getting used to calling you that.  It just doesn’t seem dignified.”

Chuck nodded “I understand.  But I need to get used to this persona.  I need to be very comfortable being Chuck Shirley.  It’s a part I will need to play flawlessly if my master plan is to succeed.  So please, call me Chuck.”

“Yes sir … um … Chuck” The cupid shuffled his feet nervously.

Chuck smiled “Great, now that we have that out of the way, let’s get started.” 

The cupid stood with his pen poised over his notebook once again.

“First, the children need to be boys.  Two of them.  No more than, oh say 4 years apart.  I want them to grow up together, but the older one will need to be able to take care of the younger one on his own from a very young age.  Got that?” Chuck waited as the cupid wrote

“Ok, two boys, four years apart, older boy should be caring and nurturing.” The cupid wrote on his notepad furiously.

Chuck looked annoyed.  “No no no!  Not caring and nurturing! The older one needs to be tough, a leader, strong, fearless.  But ready to sacrifice himself for his brother.  A heart of gold wrapped up in a hard shell.  He shouldn’t be afraid to show his feelings, but only to his brother, and only at certain times.  He should value family above everything.”

The cupid erased what he’d written and began again.  “That’s such an odd combination G – Chuck.  A selfless warrior who is willing to die for his brother.  Fearless and cunning in battle, but at the same time a nurturing caretaker?  He’ll need to have some kind of flaw, otherwise he’ll be perfect.”

Chuck thought for a moment “Junk food, liquor and sex.  Make those his favorite pass times.  Oh, and give him a real edgy sarcastic sense of humor along with a big ego.  Yeah, that should even things out nicely.”

The cupid sighed, and kept writing.  “Now how about the younger one?  I’m almost afraid to hear this.”

Chuck frowned slightly but continued “The younger Winchester should be educated, love school.  A strong sense of loyalty, as strong as his brother, but terrified he will never measure up.  He should be loving and compassionate.  A reluctant hero.  That’s a good way to put it.  Physically strong but unsure of himself.  Never quite feeling like he fits in. Oh, and be sure to toss in some psychic ability.  Don’t ask about that part, just do it.”

“Seriously? Chuck, you are asking for some pretty strange qualities in these two brothers.” The cupid shook his head as he wrote. “I mean, you want these two to be some kind of action heroes, but with feelings?”

“Now you’re getting it!” Chuck smiled “You got the part about the older one needing to pretty much raise the younger one, right?  I need that in there.  He needs to understand that is his one job.  His mission in life, if you will.”

The cupid rolled his eyes.  Chuck noticed. 

Stepping up to stand in front of the cupid, Chuck stared at him until he looked up “Is all this too difficult for you to understand?  I have my reasons for wanting them this way.  They need to care about each other, to the complete exclusion of everyone and everything in the universe.”

“N-n-no sir” The cupid stuttered

“Because if I need to get another cupid to do this I will.  One who won’t question my decisions”

“I-I can do this sir.  Please continue with your requirements.”

Chuck continued, still not happy with the attitude he was getting from the cupid. “These two are going to be called upon to make sacrifices no human has ever been asked to make.  They need to be strong enough to save the world.”

The cupid closed his eyes afraid to ask his next question. “Anything else, Chuck?”

Chuck got very quiet.  His voice low and soft.  “They need to be soul mates.  And not just two souls bound to each other.  They need to be two halves of one soul.  The strongest most special connection two human beings can have.”

“B-but sir … uh Chuck.  That type of soul connection is reserved for lovers! You can’t mean these brothers are destined to be in love with each other!” The cupid gasped

Chuck stared at the cupid intently “Yes, I do.”

The cupid threw up his hands “This is impossible Lord, and yes I know ‘call me Chuck’ whatever.  You want us to make these two brothers, who are in love with each other, presumably having sex with each other, oh and just for good measure, they’re soul mates.  And not just any old soul mates, oh no, they have to be the type that share ONE SOUL.  Forgive me for this but that’s insane!”

Chuck reached over and touched the cupid’s forehead with two fingers.  Behold, Sam and Dean Winchester.

The cupid’s mind was suddenly filled with images. 

Two small boys witness their mother burn to death at the hands of Lucifer’s right hand demon. 

The same boys spending days on end alone in seedy motels while their grief-stricken father drank himself into a stupor nearly every night when he wasn’t out trying to find the demon who killed his wife. 

Brothers who learned to fight monsters so unsuspecting people could sleep safe in their beds at night.

Dean.  The older brother.  So loyal to his father, he obeys him without question.  A hunter of exceptional skill.  Lethal with any and all weapons.  Devoted to his brother in every way possible.  Intelligent and cunning.  His only weakness, family.

Sam.  Younger brother.  Highly intelligent with a love of education and a hunger to learn.  Every bit as skilled a hunter as his brother, but never wanted the life.  Always feeling out of place.  His big brother is his idol, his source of strength.  His weakness, self-doubt.

Young men who realize they share a bond so strong it overwhelms them and they fall in love.

Soul mates who discover passion in each other’s arms.  A passion they find themselves unable to resist, no matter what the cost.

Lovers.  The pure love that shines between them when they’re together makes what they have together sacred.

Brothers/lovers/soulmates.  The connection they share, their love for each other will save humanity and the world.

The cupid collapsed under the weight of the knowledge of what Sam and Dean were going to be, not only to each other but to the universe.

“Forgive me Lord! I should have realized … I am so sorry for doubting you.  Of course, I will make sure the sons of John and Mary Winchester are all they need to be.”

“Good” Chuck smiled.  He snapped his fingers and he and the cupid were in a bar, each with a beer in front of them. “Let’s have a drink and celebrate.  Oh, and please, again, call me Chuck”

written by @debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

Merry Wincestmas - Day 3

April 1984

Watch out for your little brother. 

Yeah, Dean got it, but how was he supposed to do that when he was supposed to stay in his bed and just let Sammy, as Aunt Sarah put it, “Get over it by himself”.

Dean gritted his teeth.  Sammy wailed like his heart was breaking.  No one was going to him.  Dean couldn’t take it anymore.  He knew it meant a spanking, being yelled at, told yet again, what a bad kid he was for not behaving and doing what he was told, but this was Sammy, his baby, and he was crying.

Dean slipped out of his bed and quietly made his way to Sammy’s crib.  “Hey, little brother.  Shhh, ‘s okay, De’s here” Dean lowered the side of the crib and climbed in. 

A quick pat of Sammy’s back and the crying stopped.  Sammy turned over and sat up, holding his chubby arms up to Dean to be held.  Dean gathered Sammy into his arms, grimacing a little when Sammy rubbed his face, including a snotty nose, on Dean’s shoulder. 

“De” Sammy sighed and snuggled up to his big brother. 

Dean patted him on the back “Wassa matter baby?  Huh?  You scared?” Dean thought for a second, then patted Sammy’s diaper.  “Oh, you’re wet huh?  Okay”

Dean eased Sammy off his lap and climbed out of the crib to get a diaper.  As soon as his feet hit the floor, Sammy started to sniffle and whimper. 

“No no no, baby, De’s right here, jus’ a sec” Dean quickly grabbed a clean diaper out of the bag on the floor and climbed back up into the crib.  Dean wasn’t happy changing Sammy’s diaper, but it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do it.  At least he was just wet and not the other stuff.  Those diapers were the worst.

“Sammy down” Responding immediately to his brother’s request, Sammy laid down on his back and waited.  Dean’s practiced fingers, undid Sammy’s sleeper, peeled off the wet diaper, rolled it up and tossed it on the floor. 

“Up Sammy” Sammy, lifted his legs so Dean could slide the new diaper under him, pulled it up between his legs and fastened it with the tapes.  Dean grinned when he thought of how Aunt Sarah struggled to change Sammy.  He would always wiggle and refuse to stay still, sometimes even crawling away in the middle of everything.  “She don’ know the magic words huh Sammy?”

Finished with the chore, Dean laid down next to Sammy “Come on Sammy, sleepy sleepy”

Again, responding without hesitation to his brother’s request, Sammy laid on his side and scooted over with his back against Dean, lifting his arm so Dean could put his around him.

“Ok Sammy, nigh, nigh” Holding Sammy close to him, Dean felt his baby brother sigh and relax. 

Dean let his mind wander as he held his baby brother.  He missed his mommy.  Dean remembered the fire.  How daddy screamed for him, gave him Sammy and told him to run outside and not look back.  Dean had run so fast.  Once outside he looked up to see fire shooting out of Sammy’s nursery window.  Dean had held Sammy tightly and whispered “I got you baby.  Is okay.  De’s got you” 

Dean waited and waited.  He was sure any second his mommy and daddy would come running out of the house.  But nothing.  He heard the fire trucks in the distance, and still no mommy and daddy.  Dean could see the smoke, billowing out of the front door now.  Dean was scared. 

He looked down into Sammy’s tiny face, into his eyes, so trusting and full of love.  Suddenly Dean wasn’t scared anymore. 

“Mine” Dean whispered into Sammy’s ear.  He was keeping Sammy safe, and that’s all that mattered.

After the fire, after daddy had explained mommy had gone to heaven and was never coming back, everything got bad.  They stayed in an icky motel for days and days.  Every night daddy would drink out of a bottle, cry a lot and go to sleep.  During the day, when he wasn’t just sitting staring at nothing, or yelling at Dean to keep Sammy quiet, daddy would talk on the phone for hours.  Dean only understood bits and pieces of the conversation, mostly a lot of questions.  A lot of yelling, and crying. 

Then one day daddy put them in the car and drove away.  They drove for days and days before they came here.  Daddy said Aunt Jane was mommy’s aunt, and they were staying with her while daddy went and found some things out. 

That was forever ago.  Daddy didn’t come back for Christmas.  He didn’t come back when it was time for the Easter bunny.  And now Dean wondered if he’d make it back for Sammy’s first birthday in a couple weeks.  But most of all Dean just wanted daddy to take them away from here.   Aunt Sarah didn’t want them there.  She stared at Dean a lot and said weird things like “looks more like her than he has a right to” and “warned her not to marry a worthless civilian”.

She ignored Sammy most of the time, only providing the most basic of care.  Dean held him on his lap at meal time and fed him.  Dean played with him.  Dean changed his clothes and most of the time his diapers.  But Dean didn’t mind.  Sammy was his.  The angel lady said so. 

So, it made no sense why Aunt Sarah hated Dean sleeping in Sammy’s crib with him.  She’d make comments like “gonna turn into sissy boys” whatever that meant.  All Dean knew was if Sammy needed him to sleep with him, he was gonna do it. 

Sammy stirred, restless.  Rubbing Sam’s stomach in small circles, Dean quietly began to sing;

Hey Jude.  Don’ make it bad.  Take a sad song n make it better

Remember to letter inoo your heart then you can’ sta-art to make it better

Dean’s voice was soft and sweet.  For only being five years old, his voice was pure, on key.  At the sound of his favorite song, Sammy relaxed.  His breathing evened out, and he was asleep.  Dean thought about trying to extricate himself and go back to his own bed, but the feel of Sammy’s little body snuggled up to him, the smell of his hair, the feeling that he was supposed to be there, holding Sammy, keeping him safe and loved.  That thought made Dean stay.  And that’s where he fell asleep.

A sharp slap on the face woke Dean up.  He wouldn’t have cared except in the process of slapping Dean, part of Aunt Sarah’s slap caught Sammy on the ear waking him up instantly as well.  The shrill scream he let out, made Dean’s blood boil.  He was up and out of the crib in seconds, standing in front of Aunt Sarah with a murderous look on his face.

“YOU HURT MY BABY!” Dean’s voice was low and threatening, sounding years older than the five years he’d been alive.  He huffed out several deep breaths, then ran at Aunt Sarah pushing her so hard she almost fell. 

“You miserable little brat! I’ll teach you to respect your elders!” Sarah grabbed Dean by the arm and started hitting him.  She wasn’t aiming for any particular area, just randomly slapping the child.  His head, back, leg, butt, each was the target of one or more painful slaps. 

Dean refused to cry out.  He took each slap and awaited the next with stoic silence.  Once Aunt Sarah realized Dean wasn’t responding, she stopped.  She looked over at Sammy, now standing in his crib howling and reaching for Dean.  She snatched him out of the crib, and held him kicking and screaming.  Seeing the look of anger on Dean’s face and how distressed Sammy was acting not being able to get to Dean, an evil smile crossed Aunt Sarah’s face.

“Since I can’t beat some sense into you, I think I’ll take away the one thing you do seem to care about.  Say bye bye to Dean, Sammy.  He’s gonna be grounded from you for a while, till he can learn to mind.” She placed Sammy back into his crib, grabbed Dean by the back of the neck and dragged him into the spare room across the hall.  She slammed the door, and Dean heard the lock engage from the outside. 

His heart in his throat, Dean ran to the door and tried to open it.  Locked.  He hit the door with his fists, “Let me out! Let me out!  I want my Sammy!  Sammy! Sammy!” 

Dean could hear Sammy screaming and crying, the sound getting further away, then fading to faint cries.  She took him!  Dean’s mouth went dry.  His blood felt like it had ice in it.  His head was pounding and his chest hurt.  Hot tears filled his eyes as he pounded the door screaming for his baby brother.

Downstairs Sammy refused to be quieted.  His face turned darker and darker shades of red the longer he cried. “Shut up you miserable little brat!  SHUT UP!” Aunt Sarah screamed at him.

Sammy’s cries began to make him choke, then gag.  Before Aunt Sarah could react, Sammy was throwing up.  Since he’d just woken up, there was nothing in his tiny stomach, so he was retching on thin strands of bile.

“What the hell is wrong with you kids?  It’s like you literally can’t live without each other!” Aunt Sarah stared at Sammy.  Suddenly as she watched in horror Sammy began to choke.  His little eyes wide with panic, his lips turning blue.  Aunt Sarah screamed and ran upstairs.

Dean had given up pounding on the door, and sat with his back against it, straining to hear if Sammy was still crying, while tears of anger and grief ran down his own face. 

Dean’s heart stopped when he heard Aunt Sarah scream.  He heard the sound of her running up the stairs and the sound of the door being unlocked.  He jumped up ready to run past whoever opened the door to get to Sammy.  Instead, Aunt Sarah threw the door open, her face white with fear.  “Go!  Hurry up, he’s about to stop breathing from cryin’ so hard!”

Dean raced past Aunt Sarah, down the hallway, to the stairs.  “SAMMY! SAMMY I’M COMING BABY! SAMMY!”

As soon as Dean hit the bottom of the stairs he saw Sammy sitting on the floor in the living room.  He looks up to see Dean, and stood up.  Then, as Dean watched in amazement, for the first time in his life, Sammy walked.

“DE!” With is tiny arms outstretched Sammy took his first steps to the person he loved most in the world.  And Dean was waiting for him with his arms open wide, to gather him in and hold him close. 

“Sammy! You walked baby! I love you Sammy” Dean hugged Sammy kissing his head.  Wiping the tears from his red hot little cheeks. 

“De!” Sammy put his tiny hands on Dean’s face, holding it, looking into his eyes.  “Lub De”

Dean’s heat skipped a beat “I love Sammy!”

Sammy smiled so big his whole face lit up.  “I …lub De”

Just then the front door burst open and John Winchester stepped inside. 

“Sarah! I’m here to pick up the boys, can you pack their stuff, I need to get on the road as soon as possible.”  John glanced over to see Sam and Dean sitting on the floor together.

“DADDY!” Dean was so excited “Guess what? Sammy walked, just now! For the first time”

John reached down and ruffled Sam’s hair “Good job kiddo.  Dean, get Sam’s coat on and take him out to the car.  I’ll be there as soon as I get your things packed”

“But daddy! Did you hear me? Sammy walked!” Dean was shocked his dad didn’t seem to notice or care about Sam’s milestone.

“Yes, Dean I heard you.  Sam walked.  He was bound to sometime, wasn’t he? Guess your job just got harder, now you get to chase him down every time he runs off.”

John went to the kitchen and started gathering up things like Sam’s sippy cup, bibs, cookies and crackers for Sam, canned kid food for Dean.  He came back into the living room picking up toys and clothes, stuffing them into another bag.

“What are you waiting for Dean?  I want to get on the road, I have somewhere to be and I need to drop you two off before I go.  Now move it, shoes and coats now! Get the lead out!”

“Yes sir” Dean mumbled “Come on Sammy, wanna go bye bye?”

Dean sat Sam on the couch and began struggling to get the wiggly toddler’s shoes on.  He finally gave up and stuffed them in his coat pocket.  He zipped Sam into his coat and carried him outside.

As they walked out to Impala, it began to snow.  A few flakes landed on Sammy’s face and he giggled.

“Look Sammy, snow!” Dean caught a flake on his tongue “Can you say snow Sammy?”

“De!” Sammy chirped happily patting Dean’s face.

Dean laughed and hugged Sammy “You my baby Sammy? Mine?”

Sam got quiet and stared into Dean’s eyes with a look on his face that said so much more than Sammy ever could at his age.  He patted Dean’s face “My”

“Yeah Sammy, you’re mine and I’m yours.  Always.”

written by @debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

Merry Wincestmas

December 24th 1989

Dean was singing at the top of his lungs, “Rudolph the farty reindeer, had great big stinky butt”

“Dean, quit it!” Sam blushed fiercely

“And if you ever smelled it, you would puke up all your guts.”

“That doesn’t even rhyme!”

“All of the other reindeer used to gag and call him names.  They didn’t want his big butt, stinking up their reindeer games.” Dean added a little dance

“You’re gross!”

“Then one smelly Christmas eve, Santa had to fart …”

“Ewww Dean!” Sam stopped in his tracks refusing to take another step.

“Come on Sammy, don’t you wanna see Santa?  Let’s go, it’s cold out here” Dean threw his arm around Sam and got him walking along the sidewalk again.

“Santa’s not bringin’ you nothin’!  You sing bad songs!” Sam frowned

Dean sighed, he knew it didn’t matter how many stupid songs he sang or didn’t sing, Santa didn’t come for kids like him and Sam. 

At ten years old, Dean hadn’t believed in Santa for a long time, if ever.  But Sam was only six, and still believed.  And that’s all that mattered to Dean, because for him Sam was everything, and that meant Santa would be coming to their house.

“What ‘cha askin’ Santa for Sammy?” Dean tried to sound casual, hoping it was something he could afford with the money he’d been skimming from the meager funds John would leave the boys when he left on his hunts.

Sam scoffed “If I tell you, Santa won’ bring it.  Geez Dean”

Dean tried again “Not even a hint Sammy?  Come on, I won’t tell”

“No” Sam frowned at Dean and kept walking.

The mall was crowded with shoppers all trying to out spend each other as quickly and as rudely as possible.  The line to see Santa, thankfully was short.  Dean noticed Santa had a helper.  A young woman dressed as a reindeer would talk to each child before going up to see Santa, asking their name and age, before taking them up to Santa.  After the child finished their visit, she would help them off the platform, hand them a candy cane and a Polaroid to commemorate their holiday experience.  

This gave Dean an idea, if he could get the reindeer to eavesdrop on Sam’s conversation with the big guy maybe it would give him a clue as to what to get Sam. 

“Stay here in line butt face, I gotta squeeze the weasel” Dean patted Sam on the back.

Sam threw Dean a bitch face “You’re just … yuck”

Dean ducked behind Santa’s throne and waited for the reindeer lady to bring up the next kid.  As soon as she was back in her place waiting until the Santa visit was over, Dean made his move.

“Psst, hey Mrs. Rudolph, can you do me a favor?” Dean smiled and turned on his budding Winchester charm “My little brother won’t tell our dad what he wants for Christmas, and it’s gonna make him all kinds of sad if he thinks Santa forgot him, so could you maybe find out what he wants and tell me.  So I can tell our dad, I mean.”

“Which one is your brother?”

“The one with the brown hair in the jean jacket” Dean pointed to Sam

The woman looked at the little boy, too thin, second hand clothes, clean but well-worn and her heart broke a little.  “Sure sweetheart, I’ll see what I can do for you”

The lady’s name was Anne, she jotted her number down on a piece of paper and told Dean to call her as soon as she was off work so she could tell him what Sam said.  

Dean made his way back to Sam, who seemed to barely notice he was back.  When it was his turn with Santa, Sam shot Dean a dirty look “You go over there ‘n don’t listen to me”

Dean stood off to one side and waited for Sam.  The reindeer lady hovered a little closer than she normally did and winked at Dean.

When Sam was finished, he got down off the platform, took his candy cane and picture and walked over to Dean.  “ ‘K ‘m done lets go”

Once they were back in their two room apartment dad had rented, Dean made Sam dinner, grilled cheese, and got him settled in front of the TV.

“I’ll be right back Sammy, I’m gonna call dad and see when he’s gonna be home” Dean waited for a response but getting nothing, he left.  He went to the payphone at the gas station down the street and dialed Anne’s number. 

She answered right away but didn’t have good news for Dean.  “Yes, I heard what your little brother said he wanted, but I’m afraid it’s not something I can help you with.”

Dean’s heart sank “What did he say he wanted?”

“He said he wanted his family for Christmas.  Our Santa tried to get him to tell him anything else, but that’s all he said he wanted.  I’m sorry Dean.  I can give you the name of a local community center that gives out toys for kids but other than that … “ Anne sounded sad.

“That’s ok, thanks for trying” Dean hung up and sighed.

As he walked home he noticed a man throwing out a broken Christmas tree and got an idea.  The man was glad to give Dean the tree, it was broken in half, but that only made it the perfect size.  He threw in a small string of lights and a bag of microwave popcorn telling him he could string popcorn and make ornaments out of paper snowflakes and foil.

Dean stashed the tree and lights outside and went inside.  Sam was in front of the TV just where Dean had left him. 

“When’s dad coming home?” Sam’s eyes never left the TV screen

“Oh, he didn’t answer” Dean lied “But I left a message and I’m sure he’ll be here by morning” Dean threw his arm around Sam and hugged him.  Dad had so much to answer for, but this?  Letting Sammy down yet again, was almost more than Dean could take.  His eyes pricked with tears, and he had to fake a cough so Sam wouldn’t see him wipe them away.

Dean flipped the channels until he found a Three Stooges marathon, and they watched it until it was time for bed. They changed into sweats and t-shirts, brushed their teeth and crawled in bed.  Dean pulled Sammy close and buried his face in Sam’s hair nosing around until he found it, that special “Sammy” smell he loved so much. 

“Why’d you sniff me Dean? Are you a doggy?” Sam’s giggle was like music to Dean’s ears.

“Yeah Sammy, ruff ruff grrrrrr I’m a doggy” Dean wrapped his arms around Sam’s tiny body and held him until he heard his breathing change pace and Dean knew he was asleep.

Moving as slowly as possible, Dean eased off the bed, checking one last time to make sure Sam was out before leaving the room.

Dean retrieved the tree from its hiding place outside and after about an hour of trial and error, got it to stand up by cutting a hole in the bottom of a small plastic trash can and shoving the broken pole of the tree in the hole. 

He arranged the lights on the tree plugged them in, they worked.  He covered the trash can with an old towel.  Making the popcorn was nerve racking, Dean was sure Sam was going to wake up any second, if not from the noise, then from the smell.  Once it was done, he used a needle and some dental floss to string the popcorn.  It was hard not to eat more than he strung, but Dean managed to get a decent popcorn garland made.

Next, he folded up pieces of notebook paper and cut them to make snowflakes.  Or at least something that sort of resembled snowflakes.  The process made Dean wish he’d have paid more attention in Kindergarten.

Finally, Dean took some foil, folded it into a star and put it on top of the tree.  Dean took a few steps back and checked it out the tree.  It didn’t look too bad. Now what to do about a gift.  Why couldn’t Sam want some toy or even a stupid book.  How was Dean supposed to give Sam a family for Christmas? 

When the idea came to him, Dean thought, hoped, it would work.  Tip toeing back into the bedroom, Dean searched his duffle bag until he found what he was looking for.  Taking a long look at it, he slipped it into his pocket and went back out to the living room. 

He didn’t have a lot to work with, but using an old cereal box, some markers and tape, he managed to create something he was fairly proud of, and hoped Sam would like it. Wrapping the little gift in the Sunday comics, Dean placed it under the tree. 

He’d used some of the money he had saved to buy a bunch of Sam’s favorite candy.  Since they didn’t have actual Christmas stockings, Dean came up with the idea of using their socks.

He crept back into the bedroom and found a pair of their longest athletic socks.  Using thumb tacks Dean hung the socks on the wall next to the Christmas tree.  He filled both socks with the candy he’d bought, making sure Sam got the most.     

By the time Dean finished it was after 3 AM and he was exhausted.  He made his way back to the bedroom and carefully slipped back into bed.  Sam made a few light snoring noises, and buried himself under Dean’s chin, once he was settled Dean relaxed and drifted off himself.

The morning sun blazed its way through the tissue paper curtains and hit Dean square in the face.  Normally he would have pulled the pillow over his head to block out the offending light and gone back to sleep, but today was different.

“Sammy … wake up baby boy!  It’s Christmas!!!” Dean poked Sam in the ribs.  Getting only a snork in response Dean went for Sam’s armpits a known tickle torture spot.

“DEAN NO FAIR!” Sam came fully awake, laughing and pissed at the same time. 

“Come on Sammy, let’s go see what Santa brought us!” Dean stood up on the bed and started jumping on it, trying to bounce Sam off.

Sam crawled out of bed, wandering off towards the bathroom grumbling under his breath “Stupid Dean … wakin’ me up for nothin’”

Dean hurried out ahead of Sam, plugged in the tree, then tried to act casual by pouring them both a bowl of cereal.

“Ok, I’m here … “Sam stopped in his tracks when he saw the tree.  “DEAN! ‘s a tree!!! Where’d a tree come from Dean? And what’s that?  Our socks? What’s in our socks?” Sam was laughing as he pulled the sock off the wall and dumped out the candy inside.

“M&M’s Dean I LOVE M&M’s!  And gummy bears!! And Mike n Ikes!! And Dean there’s so much candy!  Is that your stocking Dean?  What did you get?”

Dean had filled his own stocking with licorice, the one candy he knew Sam hated, and Slim Jims which Sam also hated. “I got some good stuff myself Sam.”  Dean grinned as he held up the contents of his sock.

Sam scrunched his nose up and started tearing into his candy.  “No way Sammy, you gotta eat a real breakfast first” Dean handed Sam his bowl of cereal.

“Deeeeeeeeeean” Sam whined and put on his classic bitch face, complete with pursed lips and deep frown.

“Eat! Then you can freak out on your candy” Dean pointed to the bowl on the coffee table.

As Sam reluctantly sat down to eat, he noticed the cartoon wrapped package under the tree.  “Dean, what’s that?”

“Dunno Sammy, looks like Santa brought you a present after all” Dean tried to keep a straight face.

Sam picked up the little package, turning it over and over in his hands.  After a few minutes, he finally tore it open and looked at Dean with a confused face.

Dean had taken an old picture of himself, Sam and their mom and dad he’d had in his duffel forever.  He made a small cardboard frame for it, and drew a design around the outside.  At the bottom of the picture, in careful block letters it said “Family”

“Sammy, I know you want a real house and a real family, but this is what we have.  Mom is in heaven watching over us and dad … well dad does his best I guess.  But I’m here Sammy and you n me can be our own family”

Sam looked at the picture for a long time “Mom was sure pretty huh Dean?”

“Yeah Sammy she was.” Dean stroked Sam’s hair gently.  “And I’m sorry you never got to know her”

“S’okay Dean.  I got you.  You’re my family.”  Sam grinned so big his dimples popped.

��And you’re my family Sammy.  We’re all we need.”

“Merry Christmas Dean”

Merry Christmas Sammy”

written by @debivc78

[omegaqueencas]

12 Days of Wincestmas Day 1

There was never a time when Dean and Sam Winchester were not in love. Whatever force in the universe chooses who should be soulmates: God? Fate? Karma? wanted to make sure they were truly together their entire lives. So they were born as brothers.

Dean started asking for a sibling as soon as he was able to put words together. His first word was in fact “Sam”. Although at the time Mary and John thought he was saying “Ma'am” instead of mom, so they let it go.

The day Mary found out she was pregnant, Dean was waiting for her on the porch when she came home from the doctor. He ran down the steps and jumped into her arms laughing and saying “Thank you, mommy, thank you!” Mary put him down and asked why he was thanking her. Dean rolled his eyes like it was the dumbest thing he’d ever been asked “Cuz you gots my baby!” When Mary told John about it later, he dismissed it by saying Dean must have overheard her on the phone or talking to the neighbor lady about her possible pregnancy. And that was the end of it, for a while.

Around the time Mary was starting her second trimester, Dean started talking to her stomach. Not just saying things like “hi baby” but full on conversations as if the baby was talking back. John thought it was odd, but now it was Mary who waved him away saying it was cute that he was so excited about getting a new sibling. When Mary was around 7 months pregnant Dean began climbing into his parents bed every night after they’d gone to sleep. Mary slept facing out because John complained not only did her pregnant belly put off enough heat to bake a pie, but the baby would kick him mercilessly as if it was trying to annoy him intentionally. Dean would lay awake until he heard his dad snoring then tip toe into his parents room, slip into bed next to Mary and proceed to talk to her stomach all night. Sometime before dawn he would go back to his own bed, so he wouldn’t get caught. The nightly visits lasted until Mary started getting up several times a night to use the bathroom, another one of the “joys” of late pregnancy.

After that Dean had his “baby talks” during the day. These sessions bothered John for some reason. He told Mary it was weird, and not healthy for Dean to think he was actually holding a conversation with an unborn baby. But again Mary assured him it was fine. It just meant Dean would be close to the new baby, and be a good big brother. How could that be a bad thing?

The night before Sam was born, Dean insisted on sleeping with his parents. When John tried to take him to his own room, Dean became very upset. “NO!! My baby needs me! Gots to wake mama up when is time!”

“John, I am so tired, and uncomfortable just let him stay” Mary gathered Dean into her arms and sang to him until he fell asleep, hugging her belly.

Around 5 AM John was roused from sleep by Dean shaking him and yelling “Daddy Daddy my baby’s coming!”

John sat up immediately, confused “Is it time?”

“I have no idea why he is saying that! I haven’t had a single … . ” Mary was cut off when a searing pain shot through her lower back. “Ohhhhh, ok, maybe we should get going.”

John had just gotten off the phone arranging a sitter for Dean, when Mary came down the stairs with a worried look on her face. Dean trailed behind her, a determined look on his little face. He was insisting on being taken to the hospital with his parents. Even after it was explained by both John and Mary that babies take a very long time to come and Dean would be bored waiting, he would not change his mind.

When the babysitter arrived and he realized they were going to leave him at home, the normally sweet, well behaved Dean had an epic meltdown. He wrapped his tiny arms around Mary, pressing his face against her swollen, contracting baby bump and refused to let go. Huge hitching sobs racked his tiny body, as he clung to his mother.

“Dean, I promise I will bring mommy home. She will be fine.” John spoke softly mistakenly trying to reassure Dean he was not losing his mommy.

“Nooooooo … Gotta. . stay. . with. . my . . Sammy… Sammy’ll be ascared… if ’m not there … when he gets borned!” Dean was crying so hard he could barely breathe between words.

John and Mary exchanged confused horrified looks. Not only had they not known if the new baby was a boy or a girl, they had still not decided, if it was a boy, what they were going to name him. Samuel had been discussed, but they were leaning towards Henry after John’s father.

Mary stroked Dean’s hair “Honey, why are you calling the baby Sammy? You might get a little sister you know.”

“No! … This is my Sammy… He’s mine and nobody elses” Dean refused to listen. He hugged Mary even tighter, when suddenly her water broke. Dean stared at the growing puddle of water, his eyes huge. He let go of Mary’s stomach, grabbed her hand and pulled towards the door. “WE NEED TO GO NOW! SAMMY IS IN TROUBLE!” Dean spoke in a voice that eerily sounded much older than his four years.

John opened his mouth to object when Mary screamed. A stream of blood was making its way down her leg, falling to the floor in bright red drops. John scooped Mary into his arms and carried her out the door. Not wanting to take any chances, he carefully laid her down in the back seat of the Impala.  He was in the drivers seat turning the ignition key before he noticed Dean in the front passenger seat.

“DEAN, YOU WERE TOLD…”

A blood curdling scream from the back seat stopped John cold.

“JOHN HURRY PLEASE, THE BABY IS COMING!!!” Mary was clutching her stomach curled into a ball. The Impala roared to life and the tires screamed for ½ a block as John punched the accelerator to the floor.

The hospital was less than 10 minutes away, but it felt like hours. Mary was screaming and crying in such agonizing pain, the sound made John grip the steering wheel until his fingers were white. The gut wrenching thought that he might lose his wife and his child crept into his mind and he immediately wanted to be sick. He fought back the nausea and panic by reaching down deep to his Marine Corps training, to lock his emotions down.

The Impala roared into the hospital emergency entrance and John bolted from the car screaming like a mad man for someone to help Mary.

Several nurses rolled a gurney out and John carefully placed Mary on it. He tried to go with her but was told she was going straight up to labor and delivery. They would come and get him in the waiting room as soon as they knew anything. John stood staring at the double doors they’d just wheeled Mary through when he felt something warm slip into his hand.

“Dean?” John looked down to see Dean standing next to him holding his hand. “I completely forgot you were here son.”

Dean looker up at him. His sea green eyes wide with wonder and affection. “It’s ok Daddy”

John’s eyes filled with tears, picking Dean up and hugging him so tightly Dean giggled and squealed with joy. “You know what? Daddy is glad you’re here. Lets go find the waiting room, and… start waiting I guess.”

The waiting room was, as waiting rooms go, nice. It had soft comfy couches and several reclining chairs. A big screen tv was playing some baseball game, and the magazine rack was stocked with every sports, car, hunting, fishing and otherwise male oriented publication, except “those kind” of course. Even though most men went with their wives into the delivery room these days, there were some who chose not to, or could not due to a complicated delivery. So the waiting room maintained its decidedly male atmosphere.

Not long after arriving, a nurse came in and told John that Mary needed a c-section. Evidently the placenta had detached too soon and the baby was not getting any oxygen. Had they waited much longer to come to the hospital things may not have gone well. John shook his head and looked down at Dean, remembering the boy’s sheer panic that there was something wrong and they needed to get to the hospital quickly. How did he know?

A cute candy striper brought John some coffee and Dean some cookies and milk, congratulated them on their new arrival and left. They sat in silence for close to half an hour, when all of a sudden Dean stood up and ran for the door.

“Sammy! Sammy! Sammy!” Dean was smiling like someone just announced Christmas was now happening twice a year.

“Dean get back here!” John started after him but just then the door opened and a nurse wearing scrubs walked in carrying a small bundle.

“Mr. Winchester? It’s a boy” John stopped dead in his tracks as the nurse opened the blanket and he saw the tiny face of his new baby son. He reached out to take him, then stopped “m-my wife, is she okay?”

The nurse hesitated but saw the desperation on John’s face “She’s ok Mr. Winchester. She lost a lot of blood, but we managed to get it under control. They’re taking her to recovery now if you want to see her … ” John pushed past the nurse and out the door before she could finish.

“Can I see my Sammy now?” The nurse looked down and found herself staring into twin gems of emerald green. “Please? I’ve been waitn’ so so long”

“Of course you can sweetheart. Go sit on the couch over there for me” Dean dashed to the couch and sat with one arm propped up on the arm so he could hold the baby easily. The nurse placed the child in his arms marveling at the tenderness and skill the pre-schooler showed with the newborn, remembering to support his head and holding him firmly yet carefully.

Dean leaned in close, grazing the baby’s forehead with his lips, and whispering softly “Still mine Sammy?”

As the nurse watched with amazement, Sammy’s eyes popped open, gazing at Dean with an expression of the purest love she’d ever seen. As if these two knew each other, and had known each other for millions of years. Green eyes as deep as the ocean met kaleidoscope eyes of blue, green, brown and gold.

The nurse’s eyes suddenly flashed a bright glowing blue, then back to normal. She sat down next to Dean on the couch stroking his hair gently. “Yes Dean, Sammy is still yours. And you are still his. Just as you two have been since the beginning of time”

Dean smiled and kissed Sammy again “Mine

#12daysofwincestmas

written by @debivc78