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Wincestmas Day 8

Excerpts from the Journal of Robert Singer

April 5th 1986 –

Got a call today from John Winchester, he needed a favor.  Should’ve told him no straight off.  He shows up with two kids askin if I’d keep an eye on em while he hooks up with Elkins to do a hunt.  Son of a bitch didn’t even wait for me to say yes or no, just dumps the kids and takes off.   Cute kids, quiet though.

May 1st 1986 –

Found out just today, Sam’s birthday is tomorrow.  What the hell kind of father leaves a kid on his birthday?  Good thing Dean finally started talking, I was beginning to wonder about him.  He’s awful quiet, like he’s thinking about things all the time, studying on the situation like he might have to run or fight.

Sam’s the complete opposite.  That little boy could talk your ear off, then go in for the other one.  And questions!  Lord have mercy I can’t believe that child is only gonna be three tomorrow.  He sounds like he’s ready to argue a case in front of the Supreme Court.  He’d make a good lawyer, come to think of it. 

At least I got both of them on a schedule with bedtimes and such.  Finally got Dean to eat.  That was a battle let me tell you.  Every single meal he’d sit there, staring at his plate until he was sure Sam was finished.  Then he’d eat about half of what I gave him.  Only I didn’t know that since he was taking the leftover food, wrapping it up, then hiding it in their room.  Took me a week to figure out what the ungodly smell in there was.  Then I found the stash of half rotten food.  Dean was so scared I was mad he almost made himself sick.  What the hell happened to this child that he thinks I’m going to beat him for hiding food?  And why does he think he has to hide food to start with?

June 14th 1986 –

Wonder of wonders John actually called to check on the boys today.  Didn’t want to talk to them, just wanted to know if they were behaving.  I gotta wonder how broken you have to be to only care that your children are obeying the rules.  Not if they are happy or healthy or if they miss you.  I understand he lost his wife.  I lost mine.  But I didn’t have kids to raise.  These boys need their dad, not some drill Sargent. 

Little Sam cried when he found out John called because he didn’t want to leave here.  I asked him why and he told me he and Dean wanted me to be their daddy because I was nice to them.  Almost broke my heart to hear that little voice tell me how John would beat Dean with a belt if Sam did something wrong. 

I finally got Dean to trust me enough to talk to me.  He told me he hid the food because lots of times they didn’t get enough to eat and later Sam would cry he was hungry.  If Sam cried John would beat Dean with a belt because it was Dean’s job to take care of Sam, so if Sam was crying Dean must not be doing his job. 

Dean would wait until Sam was done eating, make sure he said he’d had enough, then Dean would eat half his food saving the other half for later when Sam would say he was hungry.  After hearing that I got to looking at the boys real close.  Noticed Sam was chubby with healthy pink cheeks.  Dean was a little too thin, not enough to notice right away, but if you looked careful you could see the dark circles under his eyes, the way his ribs showed a little more than most boys his age, the same for his arms and legs, a little thin. 

I had to excuse myself to go check the oil on my truck after that.  Good thing I had a clean handkerchief with me, ended up getting something in my eye.

June 3rd 1991

John dropped the boys off for the summer, at least he told them goodbye this time.  Mighty nice of him considering they probably won’t see him again till Labor Day.  After that he’ll have school to babysit them all day.

Signed Dean up for summer baseball and Sam for soccer.  Sam’s team won the championship last year, so they are pretty excited to have him back. 

I guess I’m kinda lucky the boys are as close as they are.  They don’t seem to mind having to share a bed, makes it easier on me since I only have to clean out one room for the both of them.  Watched them for a while today.  Sam just lights up whenever he manages to make Dean smile.  And he tries all the time.   That kid can be so goofy I swear.   I honestly believe that Dean would die for Sam.  He looks at Sam sometimes like he’s the only person in the world.  What they have shines off them.  It’s like they’re more than brothers.

September 28th 1997

John and the boys got here late last night.  John and I are leaving today to take on a big vamp nest in New Mexico.  Sam and Dean are staying here to field phone calls and basically look after the place.

Sam was acting strange, well stranger than a normal 14 year old acts when he overhears his dad telling his older brother, he’s leaving the Impala with him so he has somewhere to take his dates instead of sneaking them into his room while he’s gone.  That boy had a look on his face like his heart was breaking right in two.

Then as soon as John walked away, Dean went straight to Sam, put his arm around him, messed up his hair and told him not to worry, he wasn’t planning on going on any dates that week.  It would just be the two of them, fishing, maybe some trips to the arcade, any geek boy movie Sam wanted to go see and whatever old moldy cowboy videos I had.  Gotta admit that last one stung a bit. Old? Moldy? Chisolm Trail is a classic!

Anyway, Sam lit up like the Captain of the football team just asked him to prom.  Then I heard Dean call him “baby boy” and it clicked.  Sam’s in love with Dean.  And I’m pretty sure Dean feels the same way.

I see the little touches, the smiles.  I see how they look at each other when the other isn’t looking.  Gotta be honest, I wish it hadn’t happened, but it did.  They fell in love.  Both of em being guys is one thing.  People have gotten a lot more tolerant of that lately.  But them being brothers, yeah that’s gonna be an issue.  I don’t have a problem with it personally.  As long as no one is forcing anyone to do anything against their will.  From what I can see, Sam is so willing he can barely contain himself.  Dean must be tryin to hold out till Sam’s a little older.  Good for him.  Hope they make it.

December 31st 1999

New Year’s Eve at the end of the millennium.  John, Sam and Dean are here.  Sam and Dean are together.  John of course, doesn’t know.

I caught sight of ‘em out back arms around each other, full on kiss.  Have to admit, brought tear to my eye the way they look at each other when they think no one can see them.  I truly believe in my heart those two are true soul mates.

Told John I was takin him out to my favorite bar to get drunk and find a willin’ gal to kiss our ugly mugs at midnight.  That should give those two a few hours to be together without having to pretend.  I’d be hard pressed to describe the looks of excitement on their faces when they heard. 

March 4th 2001

Sam’s acceptance package from Stanford came today.  Full academic scholarship for four years.  I’d be impressed but I know this is going to kill Dean.  I think Sam know it too.  I could hear it in his voice when I called to tell him. 

August 12th 2001

Spent most of the day dealing with the mess Sam left when he got on that bus for Stanford today.  Between John saying he’d better stay gone and Dean so hurt I’m not sure he’s gonna make it I’ve had to go to the liquor store twice today. 

September 1st 2001

Couldn’t take it anymore.  Sat Dean down and told him I knew.  He tried to act like he didn’t know what I was talking about, but once I made him understand I was truly okay with it, he broke down. 

I gave him $1000 and told him to go to Stanford and be with Sam.  Don’t tell anyone you’re brothers.  Get a job and a place to live then be together.  Told him I’d deal with John.  Figured I’d just say Dean needed to hunt on his own.  Never saw anyone so happy to do a complete lifestyle 180 in his life. 

October 31st 2005

Called Dean.  Told him no one’s heard from his dad in a few weeks.  He’d better get Sam and get here asap.  He said Sam might not want to come but he’d do his best.  I asked him how the two of them were doing, he said great.  Since it was free, Sam was living in student housing, but the two of them spent almost every night together. 

Sam had a girl room-mate, they were best friends.  Dean hadn’t met her yet, but said if he didn’t know how much Sam loved him he might be jealous.  Then he laughed.  Never get tired of hearing those boys laugh.  They really don’t do it enough.

November 15th 2011

Dean told me about Sam being tricked into getting married to some weird stalker girl while I was off hunting Vamps in Oregon.  Said it shook him up so bad he’s gonna propose to Sam and wondered if I could get them fake I.D.s for Iowa, since it was legal for them to get married there, as long as they weren’t brothers. 

Congratulated him and told him not to expect me to walk either of them down aisle.  I lied.  If they asked, I’d do it in heartbeat, the idjits.

written by @debivc78