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writeandsurvive · 8 months

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Author's note: I liked this idea at first and I still do, but I'm not I did a good job at writing it. Sorry if it's not great.

Summary: You always respected rule 12, until you couldn't anymore

Warnings: angst and comfort, 'normal' ncis stuff, mostly based on ep 20x14 'old wounds', ex/booty call, jealousy, Alden being a dick to the team, happy!Gibbs in Alaska

Damaged Goods ~ Alden Parker

You've always respected Gibbs' rules, they actually became a code for you to live by. And Rule 12 - never date a coworker - was in your top 3, because you saw how bad it could turn. You saw Gibbs and Jenny having this strange connection, Tony and Ziva invading each other's lives but never being able to be together until very recently (let's be honest, it can only work because they left the agency), and lately Nick and Ellie. Lots of struggles and heartbreak. The only exception being your friends from LA, Kensi and Deeks. Every rule needs its exception, and since they had this spot, you knew it wouldn't work for you.

And surprisingly, you did pretty well all those years. Never dated someone from the office, nor even a federal agent. You never even had a crush on someone from NCIS.

But that was before.

Before him.

Alden Parker.

At first, you told yourself it was just some kind of attraction because let's be honest, this man is incredibly gorgeous. Knowing you'd never act on it - and Alden didn't seem to feel the same anyways - you decided to call your booty call a little more often; someone you actually dated a while back, with whom it didn't really work but the sex was amazing. You're a human with needs after all.

The team knew Joel, except for the two new additions, Alden and Jess. So when J dropped you off at work after a night at his place and kissed you goodbye under Alden's eyes, he immediately assumed it was your boyfriend, which you didn't see the point of denying.

Seeing Joel more regularly worked for a while, until it didn't. Spending more and more time with Alden, discovering about him and all those things he loves, seeing him take care of his plants like a dad, bringing pastries almost everyday, showing love and support to the team,... You weren't just attracted to him, you were developing feelings for him.

When a case involved his ex-wife Vivian, you realized how bad you had it. You felt jealous about how he still cared for her, thinking he may still be in love with this woman. And you were just envious of Vivian for being married to this man for ten years. How could she let him go, you'll never understand.

Despite the way you felt towards her, you offered support to Alden when she got shot. Showing up at the hospital with food as she was still in surgery, you told him he could count on you if he needed anything. It took you by surprise when he reached for a hug as a thank you, you didn't have time to appreciate it, his body against yours, his arms around you, his smell right up in your nose. It was all over too soon.

For weeks after this event, he never talked about Vivian again, so you convinced yourself she got back to her life and nothing was going on between them. You were relieved and happy.

Meanwhile, you kept seeing Joel, and he asked you to be his date at a family wedding. You had no reasons to refuse. But working for NCIS being what it is, you had to change and prepare yourself at the office. Jess and Kasie helped you with hair and make up, and allowed you to leave only when they were satisfied with their work. Walking back to the bullpen, you immediately spotted Joel talking with the boys. He looked very handsome in his fancy suit, but your eyes quickly fell on Alden who was already staring at you. You shyly smiled but he turned his face. When you finally reached them, Nick whistled at you. "Looking hot, mama!" You giggled and thanked him.

"Wouldn't say it that way, but Torres is right!" Tim agreed.

"Why thank you very much, Timmy."

You looked back at Alden's desk but it was empty. He had disappeared. Shaking off the deception - you'd have loved to know what he thought - you focused on Joel, who grabbed your hand and made you spin. "You're gonna outstage the bride." He then gently kissed your lips and that was when you saw Alden again from the corner of your eyes, upstairs, near the MTAC entrance. Fucking Houdini. His face was unreadable.

When you came back to the office on Monday, things with Alden had changed. He got distant with you, teaming you up with everyone but him, not getting interested in your free time anymore, and barely answering when you got interested in him and his life.

You couldn't help but get hurt at his behavior. And your defense mechanism was to hurt back, so you ignored him even more. If you told him three sentences a day, it was a miracle and it was strictly about work. Moreover, you were back to calling him 'Parker' or 'Sir', after switching to 'Alden' months prior. Maybe you were being petty, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

What hurt the most was when Parker invited the team for game night at his place, and you only heard about it by Kasie. "What do you mean you're not invited?"

"I mean I didn't get an invite, a question, a text, a call, or a damn pigeon."

"I'm sure he counted you in anyways. We're a small group, he knew it'd reach you."

"Doesn't matter, I'm not going."

Somehow, by the end of that day, Alden stopped you in the hallways. "Hey, are you coming tonight or not?"

You stared at him for a second before laughing sarcastically, "Kasie scares you that much?"

"Look, I just assumed you'd spend the night with Jonas--"

"Joel." You corrected, arms crossed over your chest.

"Joel, right. But anyways, I didn't think you'd want to come, so--"

"You assumed wrong, Parker. Very wrong. But I don't want your pity invite, so I'll not be there." You started to walk away from him but he was quick to grab your arm and make you face him again.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me. I let my --" he sighed. "I shouldn't have assumed. And I'd really like it if you would come to game night at my place."

Alden really looked apologetic and sincere. All you wanted to do was say yes after asking him why he had been acting like this with you. No, the complete truth was that all you wanted was to close the gap and kiss the life out of his man. You wanted his hands and mouth on you, his cock inside you, his noises in your ear.

You never felt this way before, and it scared the shit out of you.

"Too late, I made plans with Jonas." This time he let you leave.

It was a big fat lie though. You spent the night alone in your apartment, drinking, and feeling sorry for yourself. And before you knew it, you were booking a plane ticket to Alaska for the following weekend. You didn't tell anyone you were going to visit Gibbs. All they knew was that you requested your Friday and Monday off to leave town. Of course, everybody assumed it meant a little getaway with Joel.

It felt amazing to see Gibbs after months, and you were so glad to see how well and peaceful he looked. He showed you his new place, took you around this little town he called home - it didn't take long -, he took you on a boat ride, and fishing. Photography being one of your hobbies, you spent lots of time snapping anything that caught your eye. At night, you'd eat his infamous steak, and have a drink on his porch, facing the lake and mountains. "So, you gonna tell me why you're here?"

"I told you, I wanted to see you. I miss you."

"I miss you too, sweetheart, but I'm no idiot. Talk."

You told him everything and much to your surprise, Gibbs laughed once you were done. "Laughing at my misery? Alaska makes you mean, Leroy."

"I'm laughing because you're the idiot."

"Wow, thanks?"

"Parker has a thing for you. It's obvious. He's ignoring you cause he's jealous of Joel. Who, by the way, is still desperately in love with you." Gibbs laughed more at the face you made. Pure confusion, you looked like you were trying to figure out string theory. "Here, have one more." He poured you another glass of bourbon, and watched you drink it in one swallow.

"Okay first things between me and Joel are pretty clear --"

"Maybe for you. Honey, all you have to do is snap your fingers and he's there, despite breaking up with you, because--and I quote 'this job doesn't leave you much time for us'"

You sighed and went for the bottle but Gibbs grabbed it first. "Not yet." He said, putting it by his feet.

"Now, about Parker. He's friends with Tobias you know, and Tobias calls me often."

"Okay?"

"Parker asked Tobias about you, soon after he joined the team."

"What kind of things did he ask?"

"Things you like outside the office, your backstory, if you were in a relationship..."

"I don't believe you."

"Call Fornell, and you'll see."

"I check on Toby every week, we try to see each other whenever I can and he never said anything about that."

"Because he knows."

"Knows what?"

"Alden could be your Shannon, your Diane, sweetheart."

You tried to enjoy the rest of your trip, but you couldn't. Everything Gibbs told you was replaying in your mind and you tried to remember whatever you could, any interaction with Alden that wasn't work related. Were Gibbs and Fornell reading too much into this or were you completely blind? As an investigator, this made you question your abilities. If he really had a thing for you, how could you not notice? Or was he a really good actor?

You thought about Joel too, and maybe a part of you knew that but selfishly, you never questioned it too much. It was nice to have someone to call whenever you needed, whether it was for sexual relief or just have someone there to hold your hand, which he always did.

On the plane back home, you decided to have a very thorough and honest conversation with Joel. You didn't want to lose him as you really care about the man, but it was for the best.

But you came back to a weird vibe at work. As you got into the office on Tuesday morning, everyone was already here except Alden - admittedly you felt relieved as it gave you more time to prepare yourself to see again - and the team got you up to speed. "We had a case yesterday, a murder that looks like drugs related and Parker stormed off. He's been MIA since." Jess informed you.

"I went to his house last night but he wasn't there. Called, texted and nothing."

"That's not very Parker like," you conceded, puzzled by what they were telling you.

They gave you more details about the case, and theories they had thus far - wasn't much - and Alden finally walked in. "That's a W. For Wills, Clayton Wills." He quickly took his coat off and threw it in his chair. You sat back at your desk, and started to do research on this Clayton guy. Nick asked about pastries and Alden immediately lost it on him.

"Do I have to do everything around here while you just beg for pastries and sit on your ass at your damn desk?!" He angrily shouted, standing face to face with Nick. Who was this guy?

"Agent Parker!" You all heard from upstairs, where Leon Vance was standing. Alden sighed and walked to the director.

Everyone agreed that something was very wrong.

During the day, the team made progress on the case, but Alden wasn't calming down. He kept snapping about everyone, making it sound like the team was just a bunch of useless investigators. He wasn't with you though, as he was utterly ignoring you. You honestly felt invisible. If you said something, Alden would answer to someone else, like it wasn't you who talked.

This was a side of him you never saw before and you didn't like it very much. By the end of the day, you were all in the evidence garage, when a man in a wheelchair arrived, asking for Alden. "You're Jeremy Brighton?" Tim asked him with a smile. "My wife and I love your book and your podcast! - Tim McGee," he extended his hand.

You all proceeded to introduce yourselves, but when it got to you, Jeremy already knew your name. No time to ask for some explanation as Alden walked out of the elevator and a moment later, you knew why this case was personal to him; Wills' case was the one that got Jeremy in a wheelchair. It explained a lot, but it didn't minimize Alden's behavior with the team. Especially since he kept snapping, until Vance actually benched him on Wednesday.

You never meant to eavesdrop on Alden and Jeremy's conversation in Autopsy, but they arrived, not knowing you were the supply closet. The door was slightly opened, you could hear everything they were saying and it was obviously too late to let them know you were there.

"It was my bullet that hit your spin, Jer! And that guilt is eating me alive." His voice broke and you felt shivers in your entire body. You wanted to get out and hugged him forever.

They kept arguing back and forth. Jeremy telling his best friend it's not easy to live with Alden's guilt on top of everything, and Alden saying that his hobbies are just a way to fill the void. That man was broken, the guilt had been slowly killing him for years.

"Since we're spilling the beans, are we going to talk about her?" Your ears tickled.

"Not a chance." Alden was stern.

"She's as pretty as you told me, more even." You could hear Jeremy's smile. "Don't tell Josie I said that though."

Alden's small laugh was a bit covered by the body drawer being closed. "I will if you don't shut up."

"I may have made a mistake -- I guessed her name before she told me." Oh yeah, they were clearly talking about you. You smiled despite yourself.

"What the fuck? Jer! She's not stupid, she's gonna question that!"

"Well you could tell her you've been pining over her since you joined."

"I haven't --"

Jeremy laughed. "'Jer, she was so pretty today.' 'Jer, she figured out the case all of her own, she's so smart.' 'Jer, she has a boyfriend. Of course she has one, how could a woman like her stay single?' 'Jer, I can't stop thinking about her, I need a lobotomy.' Should I go on?"

"I think I need a new best friend." You heard the automatic doors opening and closing and then silence.

So... It was all true? Alden has had a thing for you for over a year? He's been pining over you? While you had a thing for him too? You wanted to smile and cry at the same time. Cry for the lost time and the pain of the past months, and also for Alden's pain and guilt. Smile because the man you loved had feelings for you. Your stomach was jumping inside of you. You had to sit for a moment to process and figure out what you were going to do.

Obviously, having the conversation during this case wasn't an option, so the goal was to get it closed as fast as possible. Which the team did once you found out evidence against Wills. But of course, Alden was sent home by Vance instead of joining on the op to catch him.

However, Alden refused to let it go. After calling Tim to 'check', he went rogue; left Jeremy in his apartment, grabbed his gun and went to get Wills himself.

Seeing Alden holding Wills at gun point, his pretty face bleeding, and the pain and the guilt written all over his face, was your breaking point. You put your gun away, and slowly walked over to him, not caring about the team being there. You stared at his face, saw the tears in his eyes. But he wouldn't look at you, he kept staring at Wills who was on his knees. You let your hand run over his arm, until it reached his hands. "Let it go, Alden." You whispered, pressing on his hands so he would stop aiming at the scumbag. "Look at me." He shook his head no, but dropped his aim. The team proceeded on handcuffing Wills, but you didn't pay any attention to that. You grabbed the gun from his hands and handed it to Nick, slightly nodded at him. A silent understanding that they could go.

It was just you and Alden, in that dark forest. Thanks to some spotlights several feet away, you could see his face clearly as you stood in front of him. He looked down, still avoiding your eyes. You put your hands on each side of his face, softly stroked his beard for a moment before forcing him to look up. "We got him. You are okay and most importantly, Jeremy is okay. He seems to be a very happy man." At this moment, he locked eyes with him, slowly figuring out that you knew the entire truth. "It wasn't your fault."

How, he wanted to ask. It got caught up in his throat when you wrapped his arms around his neck, and held him tight. His shaky arms wrapped around your middle, and his face buried itself in your neck. "Not your fault." You repeated, playing with the small hair in the back of his head. He cried in your arms.

You drive him home with his car, holding his hand the entire ride. The music filled the silence, you didn't want to pressure him to talk. Once at his house, Jeremy was still there and immediately asked what happened. Alden just apologized, grabbed a beer and disappeared into his greenhouse. "Do you know a ride home?" You offered to his friend. "I'll come back here and stay if he lets me."

"He will, he needs you. He's--"

"I'm in love with him, Jeremy." You spurred out, not realizing the words leaving your mouth before it was too late.

Jeremy smiled. "I figured, but I'm glad to hear it. He's been self sabotaging his life and relationships since the accident, and he probably won't be easy 24/7, but please, stick with him. He's worth it."

"I've been told I'm pretty stubborn ever since I was born."

"Hopefully, you're more stubborn than he is."

"Are you done talking about me?" You heard from the greenhouse. You should've been embarrassed by the fact Alden probably heard your confession to Jeremy, but you were planning on telling him at some point, so you didn't. Plus, you were confident by the fact that he had feelings for you too.

"I'm leaving, pal. Looks like you're in good hands. I better see you at Eli's game this weekend."

With Jeremy gone, you joined Alden. He was drinking his beer while checking on his plants and flowers. "How do you know?" He asked, without looking at you.

"I heard you and Jeremy talking. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy or anything, I was there and you didn't see me--"

"I ruin everything I touch. Don't listen to Jer, you should leave before it's too late."

You knew that no words would convince him at this moment, so instead of talking, you grabbed his face and crashed your lips on his. It was the most meaningful first kiss you ever had. You tried to tell him how much you loved him with that kiss, and Alden returned with the same intensity. He held you by the back of your neck, trying to get you as close as possible to him.

You only separated when the need to breathe was too important. "Let's get this wound clean up."

As well as all of his other wounds.

#ncis #alden parker #alden parker fanfic #alden parker imagine #ncis fanfiction #ncis imagine #alden parker x reader #nick torres #gibbs #tim mcgee #jess knight

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silverstar70 · 4 months

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Fandom: NCIS Character: Alden Parker

Author's note: This is my first fanfiction ever, so please be kind. English isn't my first language so I apologize for any mistake. I was rewatching 20x14. I loved the episode but felt like something was missing. So here it is. Hope you like it!

Make things right

At the ding of the elevator, the team turned in that direction and saw Parker with three boxes of pizza. He walked in silence through the squadroom, no meeting the team’s eyes all pointed on him.

“I wanted to apologize” Parker said quietly, still not looking at them “I know these aren’t the picarones, but I hoped it would work anyway.”

The team, Jimmy and Kasie included, were still at the office to help McGee with the mission reports and thought that Parker went home so it took them by surprise seeing their boss standing there, quiet and vulnerable.

“Depends.” Torres was the first to break the silence “Did you get the pepperoni one?”

“And double cheese”

They ate all together without much of a talking and finished all the reports in record time. Parker was happy with this team, his new team. It was never like that at the FBI and after Jeremy he always preferred to work alone, only occasionally he worked with Fornell, he was a good friend. He knew what happened that night and helped him to move on.

He didn’t know what it would have happened if it wasn’t for Fornell. Right after the accident, he started drinking more than he should, it was the only thing that helped him not to think. He was angry at the world, but especially at himself for not covering his best friend's back.

Fornell arrived at the right time, helped him deal with it. He couldn't forget that night, but he couldn’t let Wills wins again and ruin his career. So, thanks to Tobias, he got back on his tracks and tried his best to learn to live with the guilt. Things went fine for a while, he started living again but as much as he tried, the guilt was still there. Not even Jaremy was able to redeem him from that feeling.

The NCIS assignment came as a fresh start. For the first time since the accident, he loved being in a team again. This team wasn't like the others, and he knew it right away from the loyalty they showed to Gibbs. Loyalties that they had also shown to him by helping him with the Raven's case. He hated himself for the way he had behaved towards them, for yelling at them and for running away from the crime scene without explanation.

Jeremy was right: the team had changed him. They had accepted him as one of the family and, with a little effort at first, he had earned their respect and trust. Now he was no longer just the boss, but also a friend to be counted on and he was proud. He was proud of this team and lucky to be a part of it.

Sat between Jess and McGee’s desks, they finished the pizza doing small talks and soon it was time to go home but Parker needed to make things right with them first.

“I wasn’t completely honest with you, guys. And I own you an explanation.”

“You don’t own us anything, Parker. We’re just happy that things ended well” McGee spoke for everyone, while the rest sat in silence looking at them.

“No, I do. I shouldn't have raised my voice at any of you," addressing Jimmy and Kasie in particular "I was mad, and I took all my anger out on you. You didn't deserve it. This story has haunted me for years and I've never been able to put an end to it and move on. When we found those pills, all the anger I thought I had buried came back and hit me like a train."

He paused for a moment, collecting his thought. They were family, they should know the truth, but it was harder than he thought. What if they’ll think less of him? What if he’ll lose their respect? No, he knew them better than that, but after all he wasn’t Gibbs. They didn’t own him anything.

“Parker, we get it. We would have reacted the same way, we just wished you told us” Jess reassured him. In that moment he blurred out the truth about that night.

“It was my bullet who hit Jaremy’s back.”

The team stood there in shock, looking at their boss in disbelieves, exchanging looks. Seconds passed and no one said anything, Parker was looking down at his hands in shame. He felt embarrassed and scared. After years he founded joy in working in a team once again, a new family, who respected him and trusted him with their life, and now he’ll lose everything because who would trust a boss who might shoot in you back during a raid? But he was wrong, so wrong.

“We have read the report. We know what happened that night, Parker.” McGee said to him, receiving a questioning look from Parker “I mean, we didn’t know this. We know what Jaremy told us. It was a hell, pure fog of war stuff. But, Alden, it wasn’t your fault. Certainly, Jaremy doesn’t think it is and neither do we.”

“We trust you Parker” added Torres.

“We’ll watch your back, and you’ll watch ours” confirmed Jess, while Kasie went to hug him in comfort. He embraced her tight, and a tear fell on his cheek. He wasn’t expecting all this support, but he was glad he was a part of this special team. When he loosed the hug, Kasie stood beside him to show him all her support.

“Thanks guys. You have no idea how much this means to me. I know I am not Gibbs, but I really appreciate your loyalty.”

“You’re right, you’re not Gibbs” Jimmy finally speaks and all turn towards him “But he’s not here now. You are. We’re loyal to you and I am sure it’s what he would want. No one gets left behind”

“Thank you, Jimmy.”

And with that all of them get ready to leave and go home to try to get some sleep. All together walked to the elevators and get inside.

“We still want the picarones tomorrow, though” Torres said before the doors closed and they all laughed.

#alden parker #ncis #alden parker imagine #nick torres #jessica knight #timothy mcgee #jimmy palmer #kasie hines

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