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kiddphel · 1 year

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☆ A Reflection of Myself, in You ☆

Word Count: 1,644

Pairing: Wolf2099 (Wolf Spider x Miguel O'Hara)

Summary: Two very broken Spider-Men from two very different worlds find a sense of comfort in each other. And it makes both of them uneasy. But they yearn for it while desperately trying to push it away. Blah blah it's a wedding fic. Lots of dialogue.

"Miguel. Do you remember when you proposed to me?" "I do."

Wolf laughed. There was a hint of annoyance behind it.

The two men sat next to each other, legs hanging over the edge of a random building's rooftop. They didn't sit too close to each other, but not too far apart either. Just enough space between the two of them. Just how they liked it.

"You asked me to marry you before you asked me out on a date." Wolf scoffed.

"No, I said I wanted to marry you. I never asked you to do anything." Miguel glanced at Wolf out of the corner of his eye. His expression was serious. The impenetrable fortress that was Miguel O'Hara and his emotions stood tall, even during a topic like this.

"When you say you want to marry someone, it leads the other person to believe that, oh I don't know, you want it to be reciprocated."

"And I never once said that, did I?"

"You're impossible."

Miguel cracks a smile at that. Wolf notices and smiles in return.

"I'm being serious, Miguel." Wolf Spider continues.

"When did I say you weren't?"

Wolf growled. "It's like you're trying to piss me off."

"I'm not. You just get mad too easily."

Silence falls over them. The sounds of the city below them fills the air and mixes with the tension between the two. Cars honk, a few party-goers are shouting, and the air vibrates with pollution.

"Do you still want to marry me? Even now?" Wolf asks.

"I do." Miguel answers.

"Even though I get mad too easily?"

"Even despite that, I do."

"Why?" Wolf scoots a bit closer to Miguel, challenging him. Invading his space. Both physically and emotionally. "Why would you want to marry me?"

"You're broken and busted and messed up." Miguel sits still, letting Wolf invade.

"And?"

"That's it."

"And here I thought you'd fall for my devilish good looks and witty humor." Wolf laughed.

"Those actually annoy me more than anything." Miguel laughs in return.

More silence. More sounds of the city. The two of them have moved closer to each other, but not enough. There's still that distance. Surprisingly, it's Miguel that breaks the silence this time.

"You're a mess. You don't trust anybody easily. You have anger problems and then get even angrier because you lost your temper in the first place. You push people away and isolate yourself because you think that you aren't allowed to be near anyone because you're a monster."

Wolf Spider tries to laugh, but it falls flat before he can even let it out. "You describing me, or yourself here?"

Silence.

And then,

A realization.

"Oh," Wolf looks at Miguel. "You are describing yourself. That's the whole point, isn't it?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Miguel shrugs.

Wolf stares at him, body fully turned to face Miguel. Miguel, however, is still facing forward. Facing away from Wolf. Staring out into the city.

"Explain a few things for me, would ya, Miguel? You've a very particular man who does things in a particular way. So what's the truth behind the half-confession half-proposal. And why someone so similar to you? No offense, but neither of us quite like ourselves enough to want to marry someone exactly like us."

Miguel gives a quiet half chuckle at that.

"With how perceptive you can be, it sure did take you long enough to pick up on it," Miguel stares back at Wolf from the corner of his eyes. Still not turning his head to look at him. Still keeping his body forward. Still closed off. "It's because we hate ourselves so much that I want to marry you."

"You want someone who sees themself in you, to reject you. React with disgust at your confession. Is that it? How selfish," Wolf scoffs. "Using me for your own self-flagellation."

Wolf faces forward again. He lays his hands neatly over his lap as he looks up at the stars in the sky. Miguel tilts his head slightly to look at him. The give and take of one looking away and the other looking at them. The silent game of tug-of-war.

"You're wrong, Miguel. We are very different."

"You made me explain myself, so is it only fair that I ask you to explain what you mean by that?" Miguel leans back on his hands. One hand slides closer to Wolf Spider. Wanting to grab him, touch him, pull him towards himself. But it stops just a few inches shy.

"You want someone to be the man in the mirror. To look at you with the same amount of disgust and hatred that you see in yourself every morning. But you're wrong. That person won't be me. We're different enough that I don't see myself in you."

"How exactly are we different from each other then? Tell me your perspective on it, Wolf." Miguel stares at him. Watches. "Is it because we're two different worlds? Past and future? Animal and human?"

Wolf Spider shakes his head, "No. It's because while you want to marry me because of your own self-hatred," He grits his fangs, tightening his fists until his claws prick at the palm of his skin, "I want you to marry me because you see the good in me."

Miguel's eyes widen.

Silence.

"Back then, when you told me you wanted to marry me, do you remember what I said?"

Miguel nods, "Yeah. You laughed and said you'd give me a year. If I convinced you that I was worth it in that year, you'd marry me."

"I did. And I made my decision long ago. Would you like to know when I made my decision?"

"I would." Miguel's voice is quiet, gentle. As he sits next to this predator, he speaks so gently. Like he's afraid to scare him away.

"Two months after you said that to me. And I decided then and there that you had proven yourself to me."

It made Miguel uncomfortable, the way Wolf Spider stared out into the night. How he looked forward, and not at him.

"Do you still feel the same?" Miguel asks.

"I do." Wolf answers.

"I'm sorry-" Miguel tries to speak.

"Don't." Wolf interrupts him.

"Let me finish, Wolfie."

Wolf sighs as his shoulders relax. Miguel smiles. He knows that nickname can always tame the beast even in his worse moments.

"As I was saying, I'm sorry we never had this conversation sooner."

"And why is that?" Wolf turns his head slightly, watching Miguel now.

"Because, truthfully, I changed my mind a long time ago too," Miguel tenses up as he watches Wolf Spider turn his body to face him fully once more. He breathes in before continuing. "At a point, it stopped being that I wanted to marry you. And instead, I decided I wanted you to marry me."

"You wanted me to like you." Wolf stated, bluntly.

"Yeah."

"You stopped seeing me as a way to punish yourself."

"Yeah."

"Can you say something different next time?"

Miguel smiled. "For this one, or the next one?"

"Next one."

"Yeah."

Wolf smiled back. The two of them moved closer, fingers brushing against each other.

"Why?" Wolf frowned as he asked. As if he was afraid to know the answer. As if the words might burn. "What changed your mind?"

"Back when you told me about the touchstones you werewolves have. A person that is so important to you that they help you hold on to your humanity. Was I supposed to catch on? That..." Miguel hesitates. "Were you confessing that I was your touchstone?"

"Kinda?" Wolf laughs, rubbing the back of his head. "I mean, you… You are. You are the one person I feel like I can really connect with. For better or for worse. That.. Did that really make you change your mind?"

"It did, but it wasn't so much that I changed my mind and more that I realized I didn't want to let you down. Because I realized that by being your connection to humanity, that meant you saw something in me. And that I am something worth holding on to. It made me realize that you didn't see us as the same. I realized you would never hate me. Wolf, I wanted to marry you because I thought that you were the only person with as much self-hatred as me that you never would. That you would reject me, and that I could justify being alone. But then you went and ruined it by seeing something worth loving in me. You made me realize that there's enough humanity left in me to see past the monster."

"Miguel," Wolf Spider speaks. Gently, soft as lamb wool, "if you can see yourself in me… And I can see something worth loving in you… Can you see that as well?"

"No," Miguel shakes his head. "But I see something worth loving in you. And honestly? It scares me."

"It scares me too. We can be scared together."

The two of them close the distance. Up on the roof of a random building, overlooking the city streets and lights, the two of them lean on each other for the first time. Wolf's head rests on Miguel's shoulder as Miguel rests his head on top of Wolf's. Fingers lace together as they look out over the city together.

Miguel breaks the silence once more.

"In the morning, once the court house opens up, wanna go get married?"

"Did you ever buy a ring? Just in case I said 'yes' some day?"

Miguel laughs, "No."

Wolf laughs with him. He smiles, baring his fangs to the stars watching them up above. The glow of the full moon illuminates them in a warm light. A kind of warmth Wolf was not familiar with from the moon.

"Sure, let's go get married tomorrow."

#dragon's writing #🕷️ love bites (so do i)#wolf spider tag #fucking. bye. bye. i hate it here. bye #yeah. 365 days in the year and i picked today of all days to do this. its 3 am im posting this now #smth smth waking up and getting hitched with him

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