#5 months after folklore but 1) they were sister albums and 2) that was during the worst part of the pandemic so it wasn’t like either album

[fingertipsmp3]

I wonder if Taylor knows she’s releasing Speak Now TV tomorrow

[loved-lefthaunted]

What are your thoughts on all the evermore songs?

oh my god. this is such a hard question for me so brace yourself. it’s taken me nearly 2 months to write this out and i still don’t think i’ve managed to encapsulate all my thoughts.

So, I have very strong feelings about evermore. I immediately loved it three times as much as folklore, for a variety of reasons. I can do a song-by-song breakdown alongside my general thoughts of the album below:

Firstly, I want to preface this by saying that I do not disregard the impact that folklore had on me prior to evermore’s release. I am not oblivious to the fact that folklore likely primed me for the sound that evermore had and that my mind was set up for a similar sounding album so was willing to receive it with more open ears.

That being said, I think that evermore is the superior album. The overall emotional range and sonic variety of the album is wider and more thought out. The different songs provide a more well-rounded listen in my opinion and give me much more emotional investment than folklore. Each individual song feels strong and there are far more songs with single potential than folklore.

So let’s get down to it:

1. Willow - iconic. The big sister that cardigan deserves. The song that I wish the Lover album had been. A song so fully devoted in such a soft and sweeet way without feeling sickly. A mature way to dedicate a song to the person that you can’t live without but in a way that doesn’t throw pink confetti at your face and tell single people to fuck off. TAKE MY HAND? OKAY TAYLOR. WRECK MY PLANS? FOR SURE BABES. THAT’S MY MAN? 100% FEEL U GAL.

2. Champagne Problems - LOOK. I AM CLAIMING THE NAME SAMPAGNE PROBLEMS FOR ALL FUTURE CONTENT. I want to be proposed to just so that I can reject them and then get wildly drunk on overpriced alcohol. It’s heartwrenching in a way that Taylor hasn’t been since the likes of Treacherous. It doesn’t throw sadness at you, overwhelm you with tears. It hides heartbreak within a soft piano riff and gorgeous imagery.

3. Gold Rush - a sapphic daydream. i cannot believe this is real. The return of a heart-thumping drumbeat and the most lovely, pure song that just describes the infatuation with someone beautiful and how you can wonder about them and be so happy about them and jealous of them all at once.

4. ‘Tis The Damn Season - this christmas song makes me wish i had a boy next door in my hometown that i could randomly sleep with. why don’t i have a fluffy hallmark holiday film based upon this premise? why isn’t there a christmas music video to show me how their interactions work during the holidays and how it differs so vastly with their normal lives? Why can i feel both the distance and the closeness that these two people feel? the cutest dedication to a very un-cute casual relationship. a bittersweet shout out to the people who make us happy for a few fleeting moments spread out over the long haul.

5. Tolerate It - i have very VERY strong feelings about this one. it feels like it both encapsulates romantic and non-romantic love so perfectly. It pairs perfectly with the likes of Closure (more on that later). We all deserve to be celebrated. In a world of people settling for less than they deserve, we should reach for those who deserve us. We are worth it. Find someone who will show us how worthy we are. It’s aching and slow and painful and just....everything. Just because someone has always been there doesn’t mean they deserve to continue to be there. Tolerating you is not the same as deserving your loyalty.

6. No Body, No Crime (feat. HIAM) - IT TOOK 14 YEARS BUT TAYLOR FINALLY MURDERED A MAN IN COLD BLOOD AND I AM HERE FOR IT. MEN ARE TRASH, LADIES. REMEMBER THIS. ENGRAVE IT INTO YOUR TOMBSTONES. TATTOO IT ON YOUR FOREHEADS. MEN AS AN ENTITY DO NOT DESERVE US. MURDER THEM. A YEEHAW DREAM. (I have no strong feelings about HIAM but the existence of Este’s name is a blessing in itself, their backing vocals are a lovely addition and a true testament to their friendship as we know how protective Taylor is about mixing business and friendship through collaborations)

7. Happiness - this song is HURTFUL. a song about growth, a song about finding yourself amidst the loss of a partner, a friend, a family member. a loss so deep that it will hurt you for years to come and take a piece of you away forever. but a loss that you have to be resigned to and grow from and let go of. the slow build of the backing is something i haven’t heard since Holy Ground. Both songs talk about loss and moving on in such starkly different ways but still encompass the feeling of reminiscing on something good and pure and perfect whilst battling the knowledge that it’s over and trying to be happy for the person now that they’re gone.

8. Dorothea - the sweetest girl in the neighbourhood. a childhood friend that we all miss having. a person we watched grow into something massive and successful and we’re so genuinely happy for them. the song encompasses the feeling of a distanced joy. a joy that has nothing to do with you, everything to do with this person that you’d be happy to accept again with open arms but will be equally as happy to watch succeed from a distance. a bouncy backing track and lovely vocalisations that really build a sense of a warm hug and the feeling of soft morning sun on your skin.

9. Coney Island (feat. The National) - alright. so i’m sat on a bench in the cold, wrapped up in a winter coat and a hat and gloves and a massive scarf that covers half of my face. i can see the air when i breathe out. there’s an empty ferris wheel at a deserted fairground and i can remember when it was alive and bustling and when i was surrounded by all of the people closest to me on a late summer’s day. and i miss them. i yearn for that to be back. the way we yearn for a time before covid, before masks and elbow touches and sanitising everything. a time when you could sit around a table with your friends and welcome someone with a hug and visit your family for the holidays. a time of joy that was so overlooked until it was gone. The presence of The National is also a breathtaking addition and truly deserved after Aaron’s input on both folklore and evermore. I’m glad they saved it for this song.

10. Ivy - this song just radiates GREEN. Am I in a forest? Am I just in a greenhouse, watering the plants? The guitar/banjo sounds make me so horrifically nostalgic for Speak Now era. The male backing vocals remind me that Taylor has evolved so far from the girl we used to exclusively listen in conjunction with Caitlin Bird and Liz Huett. 

11. Cowboy Like Me - one of the only songs I don’t really care about? it’s not bad, it’s just not great. it’s yeehaw without the accompanying passion. It’s the end of a sad, sad wild west movie. It’s a backing track in a scene of a TV show when someone is going on a journey alone to find themselves. But it’s nothing special.

12. Long Story Short - DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME. THE BEST SONG ON THIS ALBUM IN MY OPINION. THE STRONGEST BEAT, THE NOSTALGIA OF 1989, THE LYRICS OF RED, THE FUCKS GIVEN OF REPUTATION. THE PERFECT IMMERSIVE TAYLOR EXPERIENCE. TRULY A 10/10 ENTITY. I WILL HAVE THIS PLAYING AT MY GRADUATION. I SURVIVED.

13. Marjorie - the loss of a grandparent is always a lot. i’ve lost 2 due to Covid and it’s cut me deeper than I ever imagined. Marjorie is the 50′s sepia toned daydream that sends you flying back to being a child and being taught life’s most important lessons when you were far too young to understand them from someone so much wiser than you. It feels like I’m being taught to live again. Another build up backing track, but in such an uplifting way? A way that makes you think of the sun slowly coming out of the clouds. Of the end of a rainstorm and the start of a new day. Optimism and innocence. Peace and hope.

14. Closure - right, the return of sadness. The use of the clatter and discord in the background. The death of a Big Machine (subtle and perfectly done). She’s doing better. We all are. It reminds me of the friends I’ve lost and crave to have back but know I’m better off without. We have to let go of this. Close the chapter. You don’t even need the epilogue, it’s over. The production makes me so uncomfortable and it’s SO NECESSARY because lack of closure is UNSETTLING. It’s horrifying. It’s devastating. But the lyrics and the power of the song show how strong you can be and how important it is to push through the discomfort and continue to live.

15. Evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - the titular song. The return of Bon Iver’s vocals and the lone piano background are truly something to be commemorated for years to come. Although it lacks the painstaking hurt of Exile, this is one of her most simple pieces of artistry on this album and it’s BEAUTIFUL. Something that feels bare and raw. A song that cuts deep and shows us the true core of what she’s currently feeling right now: that although pain might feel forever, it’s not. all pain, much like joy, is fleeting and we have to feel it but we need to remember that it’s only a piece of our experience and place it into context. The song veers on self-pity and wallowing in hopelessness until the latter third, where suddenly hope rises out of the ashes alongside a slightly padded out production from Bon Iver’s vocals. A strong end to the album. This song sets us up for future albums on a note of optimism. It’s a new dawn. 

[blogsmog]

Lessons Learned in 2020

1…2…3….exhale and breathe. 2020 was a rollercoaster of a year, wasn't it? I felt like there were many times throughout the year where I was just holding my breath. Not sure what to expect next. Throughout the majority of my life, I have written in a journal. It’s a way for me stay somewhat sane and a way for me to reflect on my life. When I started writing about 2020, I realized it was far too easy to write on all the things that went wrong this year. The list could have been endless- but there were lessons learned in 2020. In fact, there were many positive takeaways from this crazy year. And here are the items that I am taking with me as we leave this year behind.

A life where love does

Three years ago, I read Bob Goff’s book, “Love Does.” Throughout this book, Goff shares personal stories that have changed his perceptive and thinking throughout his life. He commits to a life where he chooses to love everybody always. The book completely changed my entire outlook on life and I too decided that I was going to life a life where love does.

In 2020, I felt like we needed this more than ever. In a year that seemed to be filled with gray skies, we needed a little bit of sunshine. So, I tried to do just that. From sending little handwritten notes of encouragement to offering my photography services in ways that I could give back. For me to stay in a good head space, I needed to love others as much as possible this year.

Bob Goff also has a podcast called, “Dream Big.”  I would listen to an episode about once a week throughout this year. On one episode he chatted with Amy Grant and she said something that really stuck with me. While explaining one of her aspirations in life, Grant said, “I don’t plan to die with a savings account. I would like to die having been like a fire hose. A fire hose of generosity, that’s my dream.”

And that’s exactly how I felt about this year. And in regards to my life. I know that there is a purpose for everyone on this Earth. And I truly feel like mine is to help and love. And whether that is through financial support, emotional/listening support, or community service- I will do it. 

Gratitude

As I get older, I do often feel a sense of gratitude and thankfulness. So many people have helped me throughout my life. But this year, I felt more gratitude for the simple things in life. I was fortunate this year to have a job and to be able to provide a roof over my head. Many others were not. I remained fairly healthy throughout the year- while others did not. The point is that I am thankful to have what I have. And I recognize it all. 

I’m a photographer and it hit me this year that some of the photos I have taken of families were their last photos together. Some of those family members unfortunately passed away this year. And yes, that’s a part of life. But I am incredibly grateful and humbled to have been given the opportunity of documenting a milestone in their lives. To know that one day they will explain that family photo to another generation in their family means something to me.

If you lost a friend or a loved one in 2020, I am so sorry. My heart aches for you. And while my words will never be enough for what you are experiencing this year, please know that I am saying a prayer for you.

Music is the Ultimate Escape

Music is the ultimate escape and possibly the cure to many things. In 2020, I listened to a lot of music from past decades. At the beginning of the pandemic, I couldn’t stop listening to music from the 90s. Songs that I would listen to on car rides with my mom as a kid. Then, I started listening to a lot of oldies from the 60s. Now I am on to the 80s. I returned to mostly old music because of the nostalgia. Which I imagine many others did too during this year.

Taylor Swift released an album peak pandemic  called, “Folklore.” Instead of Swift writing from her usual personal narrative, she drew from inspirations of isolation and wrote songs that were told from different point of views. An album that truly fit 2020 because it was written in a sense of reflecting back on past years of life.

Then just five months later, she dropped a sister album titled, “Evermore.” This album continued the writing style that listeners were able to experience from Folklore. While listening to these albums, I often visioned the stories of the songs inside my head. In a way, they were albums of escapism. I’m not just saying this because I am a die hard Taylor Swift fan- but I feel as if these albums could be two of the best albums of 2020. If you haven’t listened to them yet- I encourage you to do so. Listen to each album from start to finish for your first listen....as you always should. (;

Health

When the pandemic first started, I spent a little too much time in the kitchen…..and at the Chick Fil A drive thru. I decided to really start working on my health, physically and mentally. I increased my workout routine by adding CrossFit into my life. I never really thought I would become one of those people who wakes up at 5:00 am to workout, but here we are-2020 baby. Since adding CrossFit into my life, I feel more energized than ever. It’s like a domino effect: You see results and feel better- so you slowly start to make other healthier changes throughout your lifestyle.

I started feeling really good mentally too. My head feels like it’s in a better mindset and space because of CrossFit. And here is where I get really honest- I struggle with loving myself sometimes. I am my biggest critic and can often be the meanest person to myself. I realized this year that in order for me to fully commit to a life of loving others, I could not possibly do that if I didn’t fully love myself. So, I have worked on changing the way I think and talk to myself. I am giving all of my fears and doubts to God and trying to spend less time controlling everything. I am learning to live a life of forgiveness and moving on from childhood insecurities.

This is something that I am always going to have to work hard at. And so many others struggle with this too. We just don’t talk about it enough. If you’re in the mental health boat, I am rooting for you.

Dolly Parton is the Queen

Do I really  have to explain this one? Growing up in East Tennessee, you almost are born into loving Dolly. I knew about her and liked her, but it wasn’t until the last year or two that I really realized how awesome she is.

Back in 2019, I listened to a podcast titled, “Dolly Parton’s America.” The podcast features interviews with Dolly, a visit to her actual Tennessee Mountain Home, and more. It was by far one of the best podcasts I have ever listened to and it made me really appreciate Dolly. From her childhood to her work ethic to her creativity. 

2020 worked hard, but Dolly Parton worked even harder. When most of the world seemed to pause, Dolly kept on doing what she does best: loving others and giving back. From donating money to help fund the COVID-19 Vaccine to continuing to support East Tennessee- she just kept on giving and giving.

I read an interview with Billboard Magazine where Dolly made the comment, “To whom much is given, much is required. So I look at my life with that every day and think that’s what God expects it of me. I expect it of myself and think people expect it of me. If I can be an inspiration, then I want to be that. That makes me feel good.”  And that really stuck with me for the majority of this past year.

Community

For the past couple of years, I have felt like I was in this strange relationship with my hometown. Part of me was not sure why I moved back after college, part of me wanted to establish myself, and part of me wanted to just move to a new city and start over.

But in 2020, I realized that I am completely content and happy with living back in my hometown of Clinton, Tennessee. The amount of people who have encouraged me and supported me as I have pursued my career and dreams has been incredible.

While reading another one of Bob Goff’s books (Yes, here I go again talking about Bob Goff), “Dream Big,” he said something about community that really spoke to me. He said, “As you pursue your ambitions, you’re going to need some hands to hold and some friends to love you so you don’t drift into open waters.” 

And that is exactly what 2020 brought to me- a community of people who completely listened to my crazy ideas and didn’t shut them down, but encouraged me and supported it.

My grandmother was the most influential person in my life. She had a strong love and dedication to Anderson County. Not only do I want to fulfill the legacy that she left behind, but I truly want to see my hometown thrive. I want to help it grow and I want to give back to a community that has given so much to me.

Learning to be Content

Throughout the past few years, I have craved the next big thing. I would achieve something off of my mental check list and instead of taking the time to enjoy it- I would be ready for the next thing. I have been working on changing my mindset and becoming more content with where I am at in life. By doing so, I feel as if I am more present and able to truly appreciate what I have.

If there’s anything we learned in 2020, is that life is too short. We take advantage of what we have. I don’t want to look back on a time in my life and think, “I wish I would have appreciated that longer. Wish I would have realized that was exactly what I needed.” 

Final Words

In Dream Big, Goff writes, “Our Legacy will be the amount of love and hope and encouragement we release into the world, our self-awareness and our other-awareness, and our willingness to adapt and adopt new approaches as we evolve.”

2020 was 100% that year. I can’t sit here and say it was completely terrible, because there were many teachable moments. But I can say that I am happy to say goodbye. In 2021, I plan on continuing to live a life where life does, listen to more Taylor Swift, read more Bob Goff, and hopefully step out of my comfort zone a bit more. I’m not sure what will happen, but I am ready for anything.

Cheers! 

Taylor