#7) garrick is played by brian cox

[newsworth]

     @tahitiwoke said:   five times kissed 🔪🔪 but maybe platonic besties 🔪🔪 or maybe not 🔪🔪

one.    of all the ways for them to make their snl debut,  this wouldn’t be chris’s first choice.   there’s fleeting moments that tease towards a bit more sophisticated humor and chris catches himself fighting a smile once or twice,   but it’s primarily meant to be an on the nose commentary on claire hale leading what kate mckinnon dressed as a reporter refers to as “ most operatically horny display in politics since the clinton administration, “  with overdrawn silences made less silent by the rousing laughter of the audience as the sexual tension builds in time with the music.  

the tightly framed close ups of suggestive looks amount to the guest star who’s meant to be phil  ( what he lacks in resemblance he makes up for with the same enthusiasm he’d brought to his lip sync battle,  which chris had thought done britney some real justice )  grabbing colin jost by a tie that chris would have never worn on his neck in real life ,   and ...    

“  wow.  “   chris’s voice startles the trio of chuckling interns into slamming down on the space bar of the keyboard and pausing the youtube clip of the sketch right as they start to see some tongue.   “  they’re really going for it.  “   the three of them turn,  red faced and apologizing throughout the coughing fit that had become of their laughter,  just in time to catch phil’s approach at chris’s shoulder.    “  hey.   you catch this?  “   chris says to him and watches every stage of grief pass across the each of the interns face as they part to make space for phil’s looming figure to lean in towards the computer screen.   a few moments pass before the chief of staff says anything,   and when he does,  it’s only to complain:   that guy doesn’t look anything like me. 

two.    “  holy shit!  “   chris’s hand took what slack it could find at the front of phil’s shirt and wound it tightly into his fist.   it’s a one hander,  a downcourt hail mary that sinks the net at the last stroke of midnight.   the sound of the buzzer through the tv is eclipsed by the uproar of that becomes of the bar.

now,   phil doesn’t give as much of a shit about basketball,  and chris is mindful enough of that to feel a little grateful that his truimph is enough to propel them both off of their barstools.  his smile catches the apple of phil’s cheek with a celebratory smack as peanut shells rain down like wedding rice.

three.  there’s a prickliness in phil’s broody mumbling that is usually reserved for things that fall under the claire and i had a fight category,   which chris has expressed in the past is hard for him to be entirely objective about so there’s just shit phil doesn’t bring up to him.  shit that chris doesn’t feel secure enough in their friendship to run the risk of repeating that two week long freeze out by prying after.   

whatever it was this time had phil’s near drunken deadweight hanging off of chris’s side in a way that was painfully awkward with their height disparity.   they’d barely made it through chris’s front door and the trek from the foyer to the bedroom felt miles long.  one step down,  twenty more to go,  and phil’s body was already swaying its weight onto his outside foot,  almost sending them into the console table where chris had just deposited his keys.  

“  you have to work with me here,  phil.  “    chris said.   

phil straightened his spine and shaded his brow under a two finger salute before using the full extent of his ungodly fucking height to survey the area.  “  this isn’t my place.  “   “  nothing gets past you.  “   chris bent down to help phil step out of his shoes.   “  mine was closer.  “   there was a turning point where phil stopped being consoled by the top gun soundtrack and got fussier the longer he had to sit in the car,   so chris made an executive decision.  there was some back and forth about whether or not phil was going to let chris offer him the bed that got settled by chris having to swear on someone’s grave  ( he gets the feeling that phil just picked a name,  any name,  because they don’t have a tonya in common )   that he really did like sleeping on his own couch.   then,  mercifully,   phil planted face first into the mattress.  at first it seemed as though he fell asleep in that same instant,  but then he groaned at the sound of chris’s wastebasket sliding across the floor towards the head of the bed.   “  i won’t throw up.  “  “  just don’t do it on my bed.  “    “  i will not throw up.  “    “  i believe you.  “   that doesn’t even sound true to chris’s own ears.   “  bathrooms through that door.  “   something phil already knows,  but a reminder can’t hurt.   “  there’s water and an aspirin on the nightstand.   i’ll be up for a while.  come get me if you need something.  “   he’s almost out the bedroom door.   “  chris?  “   phil lifts himself up onto his arms and turns to look at chris from over his shoulder. “  yeah?  “ they sit there for a moment,  phil’s expression softly obscured under the darkness but with one eye narrowing against the glow of the street light coming in from the window.  chris waits,  and he realizes he might wait all night if phil needed him to even if he would never let phil do the same for him.  what he gets in return for his patience is phil’s sloppy grin turning into an air kiss,  a wink.

that was a little too cute for chris not to grin back.  he catches the kiss with one hand and tucks the gesture in his back pocket with a wink of his own before turning the light back off.   “  sleep tight,  maverick.  “   “  g’night,  goose.  “ you shake my nerves and you rattle my brain.  even after he closes the door,  chris can hear him humming into the pillow.   too much love drives a man insane.   four.   "  what is it about your attraction to phil coulson that makes you uncomfortable?  “ dr. garrick is stoutly built.   his face has aged into a perpetual frown of intense contemplation over a set of deep set eyes that glister with their acquired intelligence and curiosity for more,   and he’s been chris’s therapist since the shooting in dallas a few years ago.   something about garrick reminds chris of his grandfather,  a man he’s never met in the flesh and only knows through the stories told by his mother from before she’d run away from home.   connecting with a therapist is not something that came very easily to him.   it was a great deal of trial and error for garrick and him get to the point where they are now. “  when i say attraction ...     i’m not speaking of a strictly sexual,   or physical attraction at all.  “   garrick clarifies with a wave of his hand.   “  the ...    incident you’re describing sounds a little more complicated than that.  “ the panic attack had come out of nowhere.  in the dark of his office he’d found the empty cave he’d made of the back of cassidy’s head,   claire’s face slack and empty through a stain glass mosaic of blood and bone,   only she couldn’t see him back.   the air was no good and sour as it left his lungs in scatters until phil set his hand on chris’s chest and willed his breathing towards a measure of five beats with the low steadiness of his voice.   cassidy’s been dead for almost two years.   he doesn’t know why the image of him had suddenly come back like that,  or what had warmly turned his mind away from that lapse in reality when phil settled him with a stare.   some of the details had to rearranged in his admission to garrick,  obviously,  but chris was better at omission than he had been before he took the job at the white house. 

the couch in garrick’s office reminds chris of the one he has in his living room at home.  the yield of the leather is right at that sweet spot that he appreciates but getting comfortable still feels like something he’s having to talk himself into.   as the moments continue to pass without much of anything offered from chris’s side of the room,   garrick shifts in his chair,   resting his hand on the knee that crosses over the other.   the notepad he uses is a ridiculously tiny thing that fits entirely in his palm.   one of those richly green,  tactical notebooks that doesn’t hold more than a hundred sheets,  and chris has only seen him write anything inside it a handful of times.

“  hearing you talk about it,   i’m reminded of..    other times you’ve expressed a struggle to identify the,   um ...   i think you described it as the thrill of your own vulnerability,  the intention behind it.  “ chris becomes reminded of them too,  even before garrick recalls them aloud.   “  the nature of your relationship with audrey shifted quite ...   dramatically,  because you had allowed her further into your life when you felt no judgement from her for your relapse.   we haven’t discussed it very much but i think you had a similar experience with your friend,   grace?  “

“  i’ve never wanted to sleep with grace.  “  giving garrick claire’s real name wasn’t an option when they started to broach certain discussions that fell outside of the realm of the assassination attempt,  and he was obviously quite limited in his ability to be perfectly candid about how much deeper their relationship ran than what was easily explainable.   easy isn’t the point of therapy.   he knows that.   garrick knew as much as chris felt he could safely tell him and still yield what he considered to be useable results. “  keep in mind that a desire for intimacy doesn’t start or stop at sex,   chris,   but grace is another situation where you were drawn to the security of having not been rejected for having allowed yourself to be seen in a certain light that you don’t typically afford to people.  “   again,   chris falls silent,  pensively chewing on the inside of his cheek as though that was where he was meant to find the truth inside that morsel of thought,  so garrick continues.   “  it may be difficult to make that distinction if most other times you’ve faced a situation like this has been with someone who had those certain expectations of you afterwards,   the way audrey did.   but i think that’s a fairer estimation of what you’re struggling with,   here.  “   

he knows how much garrick hates to be the one doing all the talking during these sessions,   how counterproductive it is to the whole point and moreso a waste of three hundred dollars for the hour,   so chris clears his throat.  “  that makes sense.  “   he scratches at a phantom itch of the word seen where it sits just behind his ear.   “  it was just ...   it felt really intimate.   when we locked eyes.  “   

“  that’s not surprising.   you’re familiar with the expression that the eyes are the window to the soul.  i like to consider how the optic nerves serve as something of a natural extension of the brain.  that when two people are capable of looking at each other while willingly stripping themselves of their private defenses,   it’s something like ...   a kiss between two minds.   a very vulnerable experience.  “   

with a look,  garrick reminds him of the rarity of chris allowing himself that experience.   the clock on the guitar pick table clicks to indicate that they only have a few minutes left of their session,  which is usually when garrick prefers to turn the conversation towards a lighter mood so that chris doesn’t leave the office with a tremendous weight over his head.

“  phil sounds like he’s a good friend,   when you let him be.  “ 

that’s why you called me and not the cops. 

“  he is.  “

five.   “  as always i’ve got chris,  meech,  and scott.  “   says phil from behind him.  chris turns just in time to catch a bounce pass and tucks the ball under his arm.   the sun hangs directly over their heads so their shadows don’t stretch very far across the asphalt.  one of the interns who they can always count on being goaded into a game of pick up puts enough stretch into his lunge to make chris smile despite how unwell he feels.  “  i think i’m gonna sit this one out.  “   he says and passes the ball back to phil.   waves off the look of interest he meets on ed’s face.   “  its hot.  i’m tired.  “  there had been a brief discussion earlier in the day about how little sleep chris had gotten the night before.   that may be why phil doesn’t fight him.

“  you can be our cheerleader.  “   phil says.  “  shame you don’t still have the skirt.  “

“  what makes you think i don’t have the skirt?  “    phil pauses mid jump shot,  and chris meets his eye from over the textured curve of the basketball.   “  don’t toy with me,  brady.  “  chris blows back that kiss he’d been saving in his back pocket.   phil takes one hand off the basketball to catch it in mid air with a wink and uses it put a little umph into the three pointer that the intern makes a comment about it absolutely not counting.  

[footyplusau]

JLT series: North Melbourne’s Sam Wright returns from injury

North Melbourne defender Sam Wright will play his first match since midway through last season while Carlton have recalled several big names for the final round of practice matches on Friday night.

Wright, 26, played the last of his eight matches last season in round 11, before undergoing mid-season surgery on both ankles. He later required more surgery but has worked diligently through the pre-season and will face Greater Western Sydney at Manuka Oval.

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Swans outlast neighbours in the wet

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AFLW plays of round 5

AFLW plays of round 5

GWS open their account, Vescio takes a screamer, Alicia Eva shows Freo a clean pair of heals and Brisbane and Adelaide are the AFLW’s best teams.

Swans outlast neighbours in the wet

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Swans outlast neighbours in the wet

Swans outlast neighbours in the wet

Sydney slogged their way to a 12-point JLT Series pre-season victory over GWS in torrential rain at Blacktown.

AFLW plays of the round

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AFLW plays of the round

AFLW plays of the round

Kaitlyn Ashmore kicks a goal of the year contender, the Pies get their first win and Tayla Harris takes down two in a huge collision.

Suns sneak past Bombers, Kangaroos down Hawks

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Suns sneak past Bombers, Kangaroos down …

Suns sneak past Bombers, Kangaroos down Hawks

The Gold Coast fight back from 24-nil down to defeat Essendon in Mackay by three points, while a strong effort from North Melbourne saw them beat Hawthorn by 11.

Melbourne and West Coast enjoy big wins

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Melbourne and West Coast enjoy big wins

Melbourne and West Coast enjoy big wins

Melbourne and West Coast have enjoyed 50+ point wins over Carlton and Fremantle respectively in the pre-season competition.

Richmond take pre-season victory over Crows

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Richmond take pre-season victory over …

Richmond take pre-season victory over Crows

The Tigers have made a winning start to their year with victory over the Adelaide Crows in the pre-season competition 92-73.

Sam Mitchell’s first game for West Coast

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Sam Mitchell’s first game for West Coast

Sam Mitchell’s first game for West Coast

The derby in Geraldton has sold out! It will be the first time people can see Sam Mitchell play in the blue and gold. Vision: Today Perth News.

AFLW plays of round 5

GWS open their account, Vescio takes a screamer, Alicia Eva shows Freo a clean pair of heals and Brisbane and Adelaide are the AFLW’s best teams.

Taken with the 27th pick in the 2008 draft, Wright has played 116 matches but his form last season dipped after a career-best year in 2015. His disposals, uncontested possessions, intercepts and kicking efficiency all slipped, with Champion Data analysis pointing out his kicking had become the biggest worry. He has had a negative kick rating in each of his past five seasons.

Lachie Hansen will join Wright in also having his first serious match of the new campaign, having been sidelined with a quad injury.

Sam Wright, right, celebrates with North coach Brad Scott.  Photo: Getty Images

Key forward Jarrad Waite and Sam Gibson return after missing the 21-point win over Hawthorn at Arden Street.

Ruckman Braydon Preuss, so impressive through the pre-season, will again share North’s ruck duties with Todd Goldstein and continue his push for a premiership-season debut. 

The Roos will use this final JLT community series match as almost a dress rehearsal for their season opener against the West Coast Eagles, for only Ben Brown, Marley Williams and Mason Wood are missing from what shapes as their best 22.

The Giants have also named a strong side, with former Tiger Brett Deledio (calf) the only major figure missing. Deledio has already been ruled out of round one.

Meanwhile, the Kangaroos held their annual meeting on Wednesday, with new chairman Ben Buckley and fellow director Brian Walsh, a corporate communications expert and former AFL chief media adviser, re-elected.

Carlton will be boosted by the inclusion of key personnel for their clash against Fremantle at Domain Stadium.

The Blues fielded a weakened side against St Kilda on Saturday because of a six-day turnaround, and have recalled skipper Marc Murphy, Bryce Gibbs, Kade Simpson and Matthew Kreuzer.

Young forward Jack Silvagni also returns, while his cousin – Alex, a former Docker – has also been selected in the initial squad and could debut for his new club. Midfielder Patrick Cripps will be given more on-field time, having played under a half against the Saints in his return from a back stress fracture.

Charlie Curnow (shoulder) and Dylan Buckley (hip) will not make the trip.

Sam Petrevski-Seton, the No.6 pick in the draft recovering from a quad injury, will return through a Northern Blues trial game next week.

Fremantle assistant coach Anthony Rock said the Dockers would play as strong a side as possible.

They have named two draftees, Griffin Logue, a defender taken with the eighth pick, and Brennan Cox. 

Rock said several players had impressed through the pre-season, including veteran defender Michael Johnson, returning after injury had derailed his 2016 campaign.

“He’s building, he’s missed a lot of football and we’re really pleased that he’s come back into the side,” he said.

“He’ll get better as time goes on.  To have him back out there and directing traffic down back is pleasing for us.”

Midfielder Lachie Neale, having had surgery on his knee and shoulder, was also finding form.

“Lachie’s had a pre-season where he’s had multiple surgeries and for him to get a game last week is really pleasing,” Rock said.

SQUADS 

NORTH MELBOURNE

4. Shaun Higgins, 6. Lachlan Hansen, 7. Jack Ziebell, 8. Nathan Hrovat, 9. Andrew Swallow, 10. Ben Cunnington, 11. Luke McDonald, 12. Lindsay Thomas, 13. Ryan Clarke, 14. Trent Dumont, 16. Scott Thompson, 18. Shaun Atley, 19. Sam Wright, 21. Jy Simpkin, 22. Todd Goldstein, 24. Sam Durdin, 25. Robbie Tarrant, 28. Kayne Turner, 30. Jarrad Waite, 31. Braydon Preuss, 33. Ed Vickers-Willis, 34. Jamie Macmillan, 38. Majak Daw, 39. Mitch Hibberd, 41. Corey Wagner, 42. Declan Mountford, 43. Sam Gibson 

GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY

1. Phil Davis, 3. Stephen Coniglio, 4. Toby Greene, 5. Dylan Shiel, 8. Callan Ward, 9. Tom Scully, 10. Devon Smith, 12. Jonathon Patton, 14. Tim Taranto, 15. Matthew Kennedy, 16. Nathan Wilson, 17. Steve Johnson, 18. Jeremy Cameron, 19. Nick Haynes, 20. Adam Tomlinson, 21. Matt Buntine, 22. Josh Kelly, 23. Heath Shaw, 25. Tendai Mzungu, 26. Dawson Simpson, 29. Zac Williams, 32. Ryan Griffen, 35. Aidan Corr, 37. Rory Lobb, 40. Adam Kennedy, 41. Shane Mumford, 50. Sam Reid

CARLTON

1. Jack Silvagni, 3. Marc Murphy,  4. Bryce Gibbs, 6. Kade Simpson, 8. Matthew Kreuzer, 9. Patrick Cripps, 10. Harry McKay, 11. Sam Kerridge, 13. Jed Lamb, 15. Sam Docherty, 16. Billie Smedts, 17. Sam Rowe, 20. Lachie Plowman, 22. Caleb Marchbank, 23. Jacob Weitering, 24. Rhys Palmer, 26. Harrison Macreadie, 27. Dennis Armfield, 28. David Cuningham, 29. Cameron Polson, 33. Jarrod Pickett, 35. Edward Curnow, 39. Dale Thomas, 41. Levi Casboult, 43. Simon White, 44. Alex Silvagni, 46. Matthew Wright

FREMANTLE

1. Hayden Ballantyne, 2. Griffin Logue, 3. Zac Dawson, 4. Sean Darcy, 5. Garrick Ibbotson, 6. Danyle Pearce, 7. Nat Fyfe, 9. Bradley Hill, 10. Michael Walters, 11. Tommy Sheridan, 12. Jon Griffin, 14. Lachie Weller, 16. David Mundy, 17. Hayden Crozier, 18. Darcy Tucker, 19. Connor Blakely, 21. Joel Hamling, 22. Shane Kersten, 23. Cam McCarthy, 26. Ed Langdon, 27. Lachie Neale, 31. Aaron Sandilands, 32. Stephen Hill, 33. Cam Sutcliffe, 34. Lee Spurr, 36. Brennan Cox, 37. Michael Johnson.

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