#v. when i go disappearing into that goodnight.

[newsworth]

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒,  𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐒,  𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘𝐌𝐄𝐍.     (   @halechief  &  @tahitiwoke   )

[verstappensrealwife]

Last Request - Fernando Alonso x Reader

Part 2/2 part 1 here. Angst. Fluff. Smut approx. 1900 words.

Warnings: Sex, P in V, oral (Fem receiving), swearing/cursing, drinking, being drunk

fernando alonso masterlist - here. f1 masterlist - here.

You hadn't seen him since that night. Of course, you missed him, but you couldn't have him anymore. It had been almost 3 months and still he wouldn't get out of your head. You couldn't stop thinking about him. About the way he loved you, the way he held you, the way he listened to every word you spoke.

Your friends however, agreed you needed to move on- or at least get a rebound. You really weren't sure about leaving your bed, nor up for the idea of a cheap hook-up to distract you from the once love of your life, but you agreed to go out with them since you did need to get out your apartment for a little while.

You went to a club in the nearest city- well a few clubs- and after a few drinks you were officially feeling like yourself for the first time in months. You took shot after shot, drank a dozen glasses of aperol spritz, and by the end of the night ended up singing Dolly Parton to a whole club of people for karaoke.

Once you stumbled off the stage, giggling to yourself about the applause you were getting, you realised your friends had disappeared. Huffing, you walked outside the club and you pulled your phone out, hitting your friends caller ID and immediately hitting call.

After two rings she picked up. "F-Fiona? Hey Fi, where are you. I think I'm a bit lost," You hiccupped down the phone.

"Y/N?" A man said.

"Who- Who are you!" You shouted at the phone confrontationally. "Where is Fiona Harris, Mister."

"It's Fernando," He said. On the other side of the phone, he was lay in bed, at 1am. He- in all honesty- was hoping you'd called him purposely, to get back together, or to meet up for... things... He felt slight disappointment when he realised he wasn't who the call was meant for, but he didn't hang up, he wanted to hear your voice again. "Where are you?" He said, already getting out of bed and pulling the first clothes he could find, on.

"Where's Fernando- w-wait..." You laughed at yourself getting the names wrong, "Where is Fiona?"

"Where is Y/N?" He asked, already out the door.

"I am at the club!" You announced happily, "The one with the pretty flamingo on the sign."

Fernando knew, by such a small clue, "Don't move okay, my lo– Erm, I mean Y/N,"

"Okay mister man." You slurred, "Can you stay on the phone please mister man..." You asked, but then interrupted him and started talking about how much you really hated the club scene. He already knew every single thing you spoke about during the quick 10 minute drive.

When he got to the club, you were leaning against the brick walls of the club, still talking into the phone as it the receiving end of your call wasn't 10 feet infront of you. "O-Oh hey Fernando," You hiccupped, "What you doing here- hey!"

He picked you up and literally carried you to his car- to any passers by they would be inclined to think he was kidnapping you. Once you were settled in his passenger seat and fought your drunk hands from trying to grab at his face while he was trying to put a seatbelt on you, he drove you both to his home. "When did you get this car..." You asked, as you inebriatedly messed with the radio, dash board, and glove compartment.

"A few days after you broke up with me..."

"Oh- I don't like that answer... Make a new one please."

He chuckled, "A new one?" You nodded quickly and snapped your fingers for him to hurry up with his new answer. "Oh- Okay... I got it last week after a party."

You smiled and nodded. "Is it home time now?" you frowned confused.

When you got to his house, you already knew the procedure he'd make you do. He did it anytime you were drunk.

First, drink water, water and more water. Check.

Then brush teeth. Check.

Then, attempt, to wash your makeup off. Half check.

And finally, kiss him goodnight...

You stepped out the bathroom into the bedroom. He was stood stiffly with a pair of your old pyjamas in his hands and another bottle of water.

"You- You are so good." You slurred, "C-can you help me." You said as you struggled to unzip the back of your dress.

He nodded, putting the items on the bed and turning you around. His hands lingered a little long on your shoulders after pushing your hair from your back. He, slowly, dragged the silver zipper down to the bottom of your back. He shamelessly stared for a moment before turning around. "What you doing?" You asked, "Why you not looking... You've seen before?"

"I- I know I have I just don't want to intrude."

"You can intrude..."

"Not when you're drunk," He replied. You simply nodded- not that he could see- and began to dress into more appropriate clothes to sleep in.

After a few minutes, when you got into bed, he was about to leave when you stopped him quickly, "Don't leave baby..." You babbled, tiredly. Baby... "I trust you- sleep here."

"I- I don't think–"

"I think yes. Come please." You demanded.

He gave in. Lying stiff next to you. You wriggled towards him, giggling to yourself as you, in your eyes, sneakily got over to him and grabbed him. He melted at the touch of your hands on his stomach and your head on his chest. You both fell asleep quickly, it was the first full nights rest Fernando had gotten in a while. When you woke up, you had rolled over to the other side of the bed. Nothing out of the ordinary since you moved alot in your sleep.

He heard you groan under your breath as you were waking up, then a gasp. You sat up quickly and looked at Fernando next to you. "Oh my god." You mumbled. "Oh, my god, oh, my god." You repeated it a few times before Fernando shut you up.

"I didn't sleep with you, stop shouting it is early." He said, in that deep morning voice you always loved.

"Oh."

"You called me drunk about how you lost Fiona and whoever else,"

"That's absolutely humiliating." You mumbled, "S-so nothing happened? Nothing at all?"

He shook his head, "Only you tried to get naked for me so," He laughed, when you groaned in embarrassment. "Don't worry, I looked away..." He said, "You want me to make you breakfast?" He asked, before you could reply he interrupted himself, "N- no, never mind I'll get you an uber- stupid thing to ask..." He mumbled, taking his phone from the side table.

You quickly snatched his phone. He looked at you stunned. "You know how i like my pancakes," You smiled. He looked at you, almost with hope in his eyes. When you smiled at him he felt his heart burst open. He shot up out of bed.

"These will be the best pancakes you've ever tasted," He promised. You chuckled and watched as he ran out the room, then minutes later hearing a clatter in the kitchen. You rolled your eyes and ventured the house to find him.

There was a bowl on the floor, three forks and a spoon, as well as a cook book.

You stared at his back muscles, you won't lie. You didn't forget he slept shirtless. "How's the cooking going 'Nando?" You laughed, his heart skipped a beat. He spun around quickly with a nervous look on his face. He slowly shuffled to the side to reveal a mess of what looked more like cookie dough than pancake mix. "Need help?" You laughed at him, there was flour on his forehead and half an egg yolk on the counter. He nodded silently. You're smile was still on your face as your laugh died down. You stepped infront of him, first throwing whatever he had made away, then picking up the items from the floor and finally standing infront of him. "You have a little..." You pointed at his forehead, he tried to wipe it off and missed. Completely. You smiled and pressed your finger to his head, carefully wiping it off his skin. He stared at your face, eyes, nose, the few freckles on your cheeks and finally your lips. He couldn't help but imagine himself against them again.

"Kiss the cook, huh?" You chuckled.

"Huh?" He was pulled out of his trance. You pointed to his apron, "O-Oh yeah, Lance got it me... the same day we uh... yeah."

You nodded silently, you were between the counter and his body, you hadn't even realised until he got closer and you were against the cold slab of marble. His chest was rising and falling quickly, his eyes staring all over your face, lingering on your lips.

You pressed your hands on his chest, he took a step back, maybe it was too far.

That was what he thought until your hands gripped the fabric of the apron and pulled him back into you.

"Is this wrong?" You questioned him.

"How can this be wrong?" He replied.

"Kiss the cook?" You asked quietly. He was quick to pick you up and put you on the counter, pressing his lips onto yours, he stood between your legs and held you by the waist, while you hands held the back of his head. "God, I missed you," you sighed.

"Not as much as me, my love." he replied, his lips then immediately back on yours. The kiss was needy, wanting and longing for you for months.

You pulled the apron off his body, putting your hands on his bare chest, wrapping your legs around his waist before he pulled you off the counter and to the bedroom. You shrieked a giggle as he carried you through the house, his lips never leaving your neck, his lips tracing the skin, savouring the taste.

He let go of you as you got to the bed, "This is okay?" He checked, to which you nodded thoroughly.

He pulled your pyjamas off your body like it was an inconvenience to him. He crawled down the bed and pushed your legs apart, licking his lips before putting his head between your thighs, your hands instinctively grabbing at his hair, your heels digging into his back as his hands firmly held the flesh of your thighs.

After pulling 2 orgasms out of you he was lining his cock up with your entrance. You nodded as he looked at you once again for a go ahead. He pushed in slowly, dropping his head to your shoulder and groaning curses. He sped up after a moment, and you quickly became a wreck beneath him.

A whining, moaning, shaking, wreck.

"F-Fernando..." You whimper, "I- I'm going to..."

You don't even get the words out before you scream and spasm, everything tingling and throbbing as you tighten around him, bucking and thrashing, pleasure and heat flooding your entire body. He's quick to follow you, bottoming out inside of you before pulling out of you and rolling next to you. "Jesus." You say, before laughing a little. "That was probably the best sex I've ever had."

He nods in agreement, he's staring at you like you're God yourself. "S-So does this mean like-"

"If you'd like to, then yeah it does."

You barely finish what you're saying when he jumps back onto you and smothers you with kisses making you laugh hysterically. "I love you so so much, my love, I'm not letting you go again," He announces, before getting up, pulling a robe over himself and then going to the window of the bedroom before shouting out of it, "She's all mine!"

El fin.

hope this was enjoyable. first fic I've wrote for Tumblr. anywho.

<3

[vanfleeter]

Letting Her Go // JTK

Characters: Jake x Fem!reader Warnings: As always, 18+ so minors, please DNI! Angst. Heart break. Drinking. Swearing. Smut. Kissing. Sex. Penetrative sex (p in v). Unprotected sex.

Summary: Jake makes the mistake of letting you go. You come back to collect your things and having the closure you both don't want but need to do.

Hearing the front door open and close, you perk up on the couch and see Jake fly past the threshold of the living room and to the kitchen where you hear him rummaging through the fridge. Pushing off the couch, you go into the kitchen to find him filling a cooler with beer and ice.

“You’re going back out?” You ask as you lean against the doorframe of the kitchen.

“Uh.. Yeah..” He bustles around the area as he gathers more cold items and puts them inside the cooler. “Josh is inviting people over for a bonfire, super small.”

“Oh, okay. Should I-”

“I’m sorry babe, it’s only for work.” He says as he approaches you and kisses your cheek.

“Oh..”

“I promise I won’t be out late,” He says as he goes back to the cooler and pulls it off the counter. “I love you.” He gives you another kiss before disappearing out of the kitchen.

“I love you…” The door shuts as you speak and your shoulders slump. “..too..”

Huffing and looking around the kitchen, you go over to the stove and turn off the burner and move the pan to the side. You pull the lid from the pan, allowing the steam to flow up into the air. You cooked one of his favorites, one you texted him about and he responded with his excitement. Seems like you’ve been placed on the back burner… Again.

–

It had been a few hours since Jake had left for the bonfire. You had cleaned a little, showered, and now relaxing in the living room with a movie playing in the background. It wasn’t until you were scrolling through instagram when you saw Sam’s partner post a video on her story. You sit at the sight of Josh’s backyard. She was filming a video of everyone gathered around the fire pit. She’s there? But Jake said it was only for work. So why was she there?

It only got worse when you saw Danny’s and Josh’s partners gathered around the fire.

You begin to wonder why he lied to you? And also what bullshit lie he told his brothers when you didn’t come with him?

Locking your phone, you toss it to the other side of the couch before leaning forward on your knees.

Thoughts raced through your head, anger and hurt surged through your veins. You didn’t realize you had been sitting there for as long as you have until you heard the front door open. You didn’t want him to see you like this, so you quickly made your way to the bathroom and shut the door.

A knock comes on the door a few minutes later. “Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m heading to bed, are you coming up?”

“Uh yeah.. Just uh.. Give me a few minutes.”

“Okay..”

You listen to his footsteps as he makes his way towards the stairs and climbs them to the second floor. Coming out of the bathroom, composed and calm, you make your way upstairs to the bedroom. He’s already in the bed by the time you get up there. Light snores fill the silence.

Grabbing your phone again, you open a new thread with Josh.

‘Are you awake?’

Josh: Hey! Yeah, I’m still awake. Too much energy. We missed you tonight at the bonfire! Are you feeling better?

So he told them I was sick?

‘Oh uh, yeah yeah I’m feeling better.. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it..’

I wasn’t allowed to come.

Josh: Oh no! Don’t worry about it! Will I see you this weekend?

This weekend? What’s this weekend?

‘I’m not sure, actually. I made plans with my sister.’

Josh: Oh bummer! I thought Jake told you a couple weeks ago, he said he would! But hey not a big deal! We’ll have to plan for something soon to get together, I miss hanging out with you!

‘Of course! Goodnight Josh.’

Josh: Goodnight!

Putting your phone down, you glance over at Jake. Why is he keeping you from everything? Not including you anymore? What happened? Did you do something that you aren’t aware of? Does he not love you anymore or want to be with you? Oh god.. What if this is his way of trying to break up with you without actually having to do it? Maybe if he keeps freezing you out then you’ll leave?

The anxiety rittles your body and you find yourself not able to sleep.

You had woken up the next morning before Jake so you took the opportunity to ask your sister to meet you for breakfast. Coming home though afterwards, you find Jake in the kitchen and drinking coffee. He glances up at you and lowers the mug to the counter.

“I woke up and you were gone,” He says as you hang your keys on the hook. “Where were you?”

“Went out to breakfast with my sister,” You say. “I brought you this back though.” You were nice enough to grab him his favorite bagel and a muffin, both of which were still warm when you got back to the house.

“I already ate..” He mumbles.

“Oh… Okay..”

He stands from the island stool and cleans out his mug before placing it in the dishwasher. “I’ll be gone this weekend,” He says. “Still hanging out with your sister?”

“Yeah uh, about that. I was hoping maybe I could come with you?”

“Babe, it’s just us guys..” He says as he turns to face you.

“Oh.. Well, the only reason why I asked was because Josh thought I’d be coming too..”

“You talked to Josh?” You nod your head. “When did you talk to Josh?”

“Last night.” You say as you fold your arms over your chest. “Which is interesting, because he also told me that they missed me last night because I was sick.. Care to explain?”

Jake lowers his head and fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “I didn’t know they were bringing their partners,” He says. “If I had known, I would have brought you with me.. So instead of seeming like an asshole for not bringing you along, I told them you were sick..”

“You could have called..” You mumble. “I would’ve come over.. And this weekend? Is it really just the guys?” You ask. “Or do you just not want me to go?”

“Babe..” He sighs.

“Don’t babe me, Jake,” You say. “And don’t lie to me either. What the fuck is going on? I’ve been so confused and hurt for the last few months because it always seemed like I wasn’t invited to things anymore but in reality you just don’t want me there.”

Your eyes begin to fill with tears and you shake your head.

“If this is your way of trying to get rid of me–it’s fucking cruel, Jake.. Just fucking tell me if you don’t want me to be with me anymore. Tell me you don’t love me so I can just leave. Fuck.. I’m tired of being left out of things, I’m tired of sitting at home wondering what the fuck I did to be treated like this.”

A tear slips down your cheek and you quickly wipe away. He hadn’t spoken a word. He just stands there twisting his shirt.

“Fucking say something!” You shout, slamming your hand on the counter top.

He lifts his head, revealing tears in his eyes. Your shoulders drop and you step back from the island.

“It’s not been easy..” He says. “I love you, I really fucking do–but..”

“But what?”

“I think we need some time..”

“Some.. Some time?” You say. “What did I do?”

He violently shakes his head. “You didn’t do anything, I just.. I just need some time to figure out what it is that I want.”

“And I’m not what you want, am I?”

“I’m sorry..”

You straighten up and turn on your heels without another word and calmly make your way up the stairs to the bedroom. Grabbing a bag, you begin to fill it with some of your things. Feeling him in the room, you pause and glance over your shoulder.

“You don’t have to leave..” He says.

You toss a shirt into the bag and zip it up before going into the bathroom and grabbing your toothbrush and essentials. You come back out to find him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head buried  in his hands.

Grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, you pull out your keys and take the house off of the metal ring and hold it out to him. He looks up at you, his eyes growing red and his chin quivering.

“Don’t do that, Jake..” You shove the key into his hand. “Don’t sit there and cry. This is on you.” Turning on your heel, you start for the door before stopping and turning back to face him. “You can change this, you know.. But I am warning you. Once I step out the front door, I'm not coming back.”

When he doesn’t say anything or give you any kind of acknowledgment, you nod your head and turn to leave. Your hand rests on the door handle of the front door, hesitant to even want to leave. But he’s made it clear to you, with little to no words.

Yanking the door open, you step outside and take one last look in hopes that he’d be coming down the stairs after you. But he isn’t. There’s only silence. Pulling the door closed, you make it to your car before the tears finally hit and roll down your cheeks like a waterfall. It wasn’t until you were driving away did you see him appear outside.

He stood on the front porch, his hands at his sides balled into fists. Part of you wanted to turn the car around and go back but the other part of you, the dominant part, kept your foot on the gas pedal moving your car further and further away until he was no longer in your line of sight.

–Two Months Later-

Jake

..

He drops an empty bottle of beer into the trash can before retrieving another one from the fridge. There wasn’t a day he had ever left the house. Not since the day you left. The day he let you walk away without a fight.

He knew he made a mistake. The moment he heard your car start up, he knew.

Most people go through a midlife crisis when they’re older. Significantly older than he is now. You could’ve worked things out. He could’ve made that decision but he’s the undecisive one. And making a decision so drastic that affects his whole life and his future, he can’t do it. He shuts down, he removes himself from the situation. Or in this case, his relationship.

He hasn’t heard from you, nor did he ever expect to. You don’t answer his phone calls or even respond to texts. It wasn’t until one day that he got a response to one of his text messages but it wasn’t you. It was someone else, explaining to him that he had the wrong number.

Wrong number?

You changed your number?

No one had your new number. Not even Josh.

Josh.

Fuck.

He wasn’t happy with Jake. He lost one of his best friends. They had a heated argument and didn’t speak for a couple weeks but eventually Josh being Josh couldn’t stand being angry anymore and they made up.

Popping the lid off of the bottle, he chugs down half of it before setting it down on the counter and pulling out his phone. He starts to dial your number only to remember that it won’t be you on the other end. He drops it back on the counter and finds himself slowly sinking to the floor where he’s ended up multiple times.

He hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep until he was shaken awake by Josh. Worry paints his face as he stares at Jake from above him, his hands holding both of his shoulders.

“Oh thank god..” He breathes in relief as he pulls Jake up into a sitting position.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was worried about you.” He says. “You missed a band meeting that was scheduled for today.. No one could get a hold of you. And I come here only to find you passed out.”

“I fell asleep..”

Josh waves the beer bottle in front of Jake’s face. “Fell asleep.. My ass. Come on.. Get up.” He says as he pulls Jake up to his feet. He dumps the beer into the sink before directing Jake to the stairs and pulling him to his room. He sits him down on the bed and moves to his closet to get him fresh clothes.

“Why are you changing me?” Jake says as Josh tosses a shirt and a clean pair of jeans at him.

“Because..”

“Because why?” Jake grumbles.

Josh takes a deep breath. “I ran into her today…” Josh exhales.

Jake straightens up, his eyebrows furrowing as he stares at his brother. “You saw her?”

Josh nods his head. “She mentioned needing to come back here—to get her things..”

“Why did she wait so long?”

“I don’t know, Jake..” Josh sighs. “Maybe she never came back after you let her leave like that..”

Jake huffs and shakes his head. “I thought we moved on from that..”

Josh runs a hand through his hair. “We did… I’m sorry…” He drops his hands to his sides. “But you need to get dressed, make yourself look not so…you know..” He starts to go for the bedroom door before stopping and turning around. “And trim your facial hair. You look like you’ve been wandering the desert.”

—

Walking up the driveway towards the front door, your heart pounds in your chest. It’s been two months since you’ve left here–refusing to come back to get your things, unable to see him. You clench your fists at your sides to control their shaking as you lift your hand to knock on the door.

It took a few minutes before the door was being pulled open. Standing there dressed neatly with sunglasses resting over his eyes is Jake. You notice his facial hair has grown out more than it was before, connecting completely around his mouth and covering his chin.

“Hi..” You breathe out, giving him a slight nod of your head.

He returns the nod and steps aside to let you inside. “I uh, boxed up everything that I could find.” He says, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck. “Although you’re welcome to look around to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”

“Uh.. Thank you.” You say as you pick up a box. “I guess I’ll just take this out to the car.”

He offers to help you, carrying each box out to your car. When the last box is brought out, you reach up to close the trunk door. He stands idly by in the driveway with his hands stuffed into the pocket of his jeans. He rocks gently back and forth.

“Umm… Well, if you happen to find my sweater–let me know..” You say, giving him a light giggle. “You know that it’s my favorite.”

A smile tugs at his lips and he nods his head. “I know it is.. But if you have time, you can go look.”

“It’s late,” You say, shaking your head. “I’m already taking up too much of your time.”

Jake shakes his head. “It’s okay, really..” He says. “It won’t take too long.”

“Oh uh.. If you’re sure..” You stammer.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He says with a slight nod of his head.

He leads you back into the house and upstairs to the bedroom. You pause in the doorway as he keeps walking towards the laundry basket in the corner of the room. You realize you hadn’t moved or acknowledged him walking back over to you until you hear him speaking.

“It’s kind of wrinkled,” He awkwardly chuckles. “Sorry about that..”

You lift your head to look up at him as you slowly take the sweater from his hand. You couldn’t stop yourself before you’re bringing your lips to his and kissing him. You can feel his surprise as his body tenses but eventually he relaxes and his arms find solace wrapping around your body and pulling you closer.

You wanted this. Just one last time. Even though you know that you’ll be breaking his heart in the end, you need him just this once. Closure. A weird way to find closure after breaking up.

You feel his hands trail down your waist and cup your thighs before he lifts you up and rests you on his waist. He carries you to the bed, your kissing not once broken even as he lays you down on the bed. You do eventually pull away to catch your breath.

You had removed his sunglasses, revealing his worn and tired eyes. You softly run your hand down the side of his face. He nuzzles into the palm of your hand as his eyes close shut.

You know that he knows that you won’t be staying after this. That you will still be leaving. But for right now, he has you and and for right now he can show how much he loves you and how much he regrets the decisions he’s made.

He presses his hips into yours, allowing you to know just how much he wants you.

Barely any words are spoken as the two of you become naked in front of each other. His eyes wander all over your body. Mesmerized. Stunned. Amazed. You name it, he was that and more.

Entangling himself with your body, he pushes himself inside of you. He gives languid strokes as he pushes his hips into you and buries his face into the crook of your neck and kisses your jaw. His hand travels down your waist and grips your hip as he starts to pound into you. Your moans fill his ears as he pushes you closer to the edge.

You grip him tightly, nails digging to his back as he fills you and stretches you with every thrust. Your vision begins to blur as tears fill your eyes. All of your emotions hitting you all at once. Your heart breaks as you feel him pouring out his love. You hug tighter as a tear escapes from the corner of your eye and slips down the side of your face.

But all of that is overridden by our orgasm as it rips through your body. You can hear him speaking to you as he fucks you through it. Praising you, loving you. Seconds later he’s spilling inside of you and filling you up.

Coming down from your highs, his body relaxes on top of you and he rests his head on your shoulder. Neither of you makes an effort to move but eventually he pulls out of you and lays on his back beside you.

You start to make a move to leave but he grabs hold of your elbow. You look over your shoulder and his eyes alone are begging you to stay. You know you shouldn’t. You know you should leave, but that small part of you is begging for one night. You give a light nod of your head and crawl back into the bed. He holds you close as you curl into his front side. His fingers graze your spin lazily. Soon the both of you are falling asleep in each other’s arms.

—

Waking up the next morning and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he feels the cold bed beside him as he rolls over onto his stomach. Sitting up in the bed he finds you gone. Everything is gone except for your sweater that still lies on the end of the bed. He climbs from the bed and pulls on a pair of sweats and retrieves your sweater before leaving the room.

His worst nightmare comes true as he finds the house completely void of you. Pulling the front door open, he looks outside to the driveway but your car is gone. It’s as if you were never there, but you had been. He can still feel your touch lingering on his skin and with each memory that comes to his mind, his heart breaks a little more.

Slowly closing the door, he holds your sweater to his chest as he leans against the door. You’re gone. For good. He knows now that there is no coming back to once was or ever will be. He made the mistake of letting you go but now he has to live with it. Forever letting the one get away.

__________________________________________________

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[bcofl0ve]

Invisible String (Part 6)

part 6/9

ship: austin butler x fem!reader

summary: a summer fling when you were working on the set of the shannara chronicles turned your life upside down with a positive pregnancy test after austin returned to the united states. a pregnancy test, and a daughter that you never told him about. until the elvis biopic found him back in your orbit and forced you to face the music.

chapter summary: austin comes back from the week long stint in the u.s., things are discussed and things are realized.

word count: 3780 (longest part yet!)

author’s note: V*MIT TW in the last day/chunk, but nothing too graphic! this is very dialogue heavy but our fav doofuses have quite a bit to talk about 😅 next chapter is an austin pov interlude thing and i am VERY excited for that so ty for sticking with me here!

i live for comments and love talking about my writing, feel free to pop me an anon anytime!

xxx

June 28th, 2020

You sent Austin a text after you listened to the voicemail saying you got it and did want to talk. But outside of quick hellos and goodbyes on the outskirts of him facetiming Cora you hadn’t said much else to each other. And you didn’t want to prod on his first day back after he spent an obscene amount of time traveling, so you settled on trying to catch him at the end of everyone’s first day back on set.

It was a late night- but you didn’t think you’d sleep if you put it off another day. 

Spotting him heading in the same direction you were as you got closer to his trailer, you walked a faster to catch up to him. Austin turned when he heard the footsteps, looking startled until he realized it was you.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” You supplied and he waved you off. “‘is alright.”

It fell silent between the two of you again, and you crossed your arms over your body, suddenly feeling small in the dimly lit trailer lot. 

“Follow me home? Cora will be in bed, but if you still wanna talk,”

“I do.” He said quietly, adding that he just had to change and then you could head out. When he climbed the steps and opened the trailer door to go inside he didn’t close it right away, tilting his head back towards you.

So you followed him in, standing against the closed door as he pulled his costume off and changed into street clothes. 

“How was your trip back?” You tried after a minute and he chuckled under his breath as he tugged his sweatshirt over his head. “Really fuckin’ long.”

The quip broke some of the tension at least, the two of you making amicable small talk as you walked to the parking lot. The next ‘big thing’ being filmed was the Vegas residency, the way Austin practically buzzed as he talked about how excited he was almost making you forget you were upset with him. 

Almost. 

“Go say goodnight if you want, I’m gonna make tea.” You said as you opened your front door and he disappeared down the hallway while you relieved the babysitter. You were sitting cross legged on the couch when he came back out, standing in the mouth of the hallway looking almost nervous to approach. 

“Sorry for being such a bitch on the phone.” You said bluntly as he finally did walk over.

“Hey, don’t call my baby mama a bitch.”

A laugh escaped at that, but then Austin sat down next to you and you were nervous all over again.

“And you weren’t being a bitch anyways, you were hurt.” 

“Didn’t really have the right to be, you can't cheat on someone you're not dating.” You stated, Austin not letting that go without a rebuttal either.

“Sure, but I think I earned the tongue lashing.”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you took a short breath to gain a smidgen more composure before you started talking again.

“Said in your voicemail that you didn’t sleep with her.” 

You looked down and focused in on a loose thread hanging off your cardigan sleeve, seeing him sit up a little straighter out of the corner of your eye.

“I didn’t. She was kinda upset when we were talking about Cora. I didn’t wanna be a douche so I tried to comfort her and she had her head on my shoulder. Got done snifflin’ and kissed me.”

Hm.

You didn’t disagree that the other woman was owed an explanation of the timeline. A clarification that you were only involved during their break and that Austin really didn’t have the faintest clue about Cora until April. But a pang of possessiveness coursed through you as Austin was relaying the chain of events. You tried unsuccessfully to push it down.

“We did uh, makeout. But when she went for my shirt we both snapped out of it. And then she started freaking out asking if she’d just made me a cheater and I said not exactly, because we weren’t exclusive- the rest just kinda tumbled out.”

His retelling of that part in the voicemail had left with more questions than answers, mainly surrounding the three word slip that had felt like an anvil dangling over your heads since it had happened.

You swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to look at him. “So when you said what you said, on Facetime,”

“I meant it.” He started, clearing his throat. “It was the heat of the moment, yeah, but it only slipped out cause it was all I’d been thinking about since leaving you two at the airport. How different it felt to know I was coming back- good different.”

“Cora missed you like crazy, drove me nuts when I was still mad.”

It was a redirect, but you were starting to get overwhelmed and it tumbled out before you could convince yourself to just swallow your anxiety and push on. Not a good enough redirect though, not when Austin only focused on the last part.

“So you aren’t anymore? Mad, I mean.”

“Upset, a little jealous. Not mad.” You said, suprised by your own honesty.

Austin seemed to be too, pulling his eyebrows together.

“Jealous of what?”

Returning to the loose thread on your cardigan, you plucked at it aimlessly. “That if you wanted to get back with her it’d be easier. Less strings attached, nothing tying you down- less to lose it it didn’t work out.”

You realized you were rambling and stopped abruptly, the room was silent when you did save for the low buzz of the radiator.

Austin broke the silence first, running a hand down his face.

“I get that you’re looking out for Cora by keepin’ me at arms length here Y/N, a hundred percent I do. But I guess my thing is that don’t plan on going anywhere. And I want to be with you if that’s what you want too.”

I want that more than anything, you thought, but what came out of your mouth was the thing that had made that feel off limits permanently since April.

“If you hadn’t come back for Elvis, if we never ran into each other,” You said tightly, fidgeting with your hands. “You probably wouldn’t have ever known Cora existed unless she tried to find you on her own as a teenager or an adult. And I don’t understand how you could ever forgive me for that.”

You were embarrassed by how much your voice was shaking, really not wanting to cry and feeling dangerously close.

Austin sucked his bottom lip in and took a short breath before he spoke, voice gentle.

“I forgave you the minute I saw Cora when she came out of the hallway that first night. So little, lookin’ just like me. I understood instantly why you did what you did to protect her.” He started.

"And I think what you need to do now, Y/N, is forgive yourself. I would’ve loved to be involved sooner, but you weren’t keeping me away to be cruel. You were protecting our baby the best way you knew how, that’s it.”

Swallowing thickly, you looked down in an attempt to hide the tears you felt pooling. What you wanted to say was that you didn’t even know how to begin to do that. That every time Cora told you how much she missed him when he was gone for one night- or you watched her run to the door to greet him, guilt surged through you like a lightning bolt.

Not just over what Austin had missed out on either, but what Cora had too. And you knew somewhere in the back of your mind that you needed to forgive yourself before it ate you alive.

Hearing it out loud, from him, that's what put a lump in your throat.

Austin scooted a little closer, asking you softly to look at him as you swiped at your eyes.

You felt his hand on your knee when you lifted your head, the way he was massaging your leg about to do you in because God- you loved him.

But scared that you’d start crying in earnest if you tried to articulate even half of what you were thinking, you kissed him. And Austin kissed you back as you maneuvered over into his lap, hands sliding up your neck to your cheeks as he pulled away just enough to talk.

“I love you so much honey,” He whispered, rubbing his thumb against your jaw. "You know that?"

Tilting your head to the side to kiss his fingers where they were resting against your face, you gave a small nod. “I do.”

It was a couple hours later when you worked up the nerve to say a certain three words back, laying in bed tracing infinity loops over his shoulder blade with your index finger. You thought he was too close to sleep to hear it until you felt him stir, eyes fluttering open as he pulled you in a little closer by the arm he’d had wrapped around your torso.

It felt good to be love and be loved in return. You could get used to that.

---

July 22nd, 2020

Not a lot changed after that night, mostly because of the fact that you’d been acting like a couple from the second you ended your “not in a relationship” conversation anyways. But the little adjustments that did crop up were welcome.

Austin practically lived at your flat, only going to his when he had an obscenely early set call. The two of you sat Cora down a week in and explained to her in four year old terms that mommy and daddy were in a relationship, something she made sense of via proclaiming that the the two of you were just like Flynn and Rapunzel. Not that you minded the comparison. 

And on top of all that Austin got a new manager that couldn’t have been a sweeter woman. To the extent that she brought a little present for Cora the first time she came over to meet with the two of you together.

All in all things were going better than you ever imagined they could.

Save for the lingering anxiety in the back of your mind about what was going to happen when Elvis wrapped. You felt secure in the knowledge that Austin wasn’t going to up and ghost, but it regardless wasn’t a topic you could avoid broaching for much longer.

“Hey Aus?” You said on the drive to set one day, rubbing your thumb against his hand where he was holding yours over the console. He glanced over at you with a quirked eyebrow, and you looked at the road as you spoke.

“What are we going to do when Elvis wraps? Cora and I are both Australian citizens. And I hate asking you to uproot your life- but the thought of losing you all over again,”

You didn’t realize how anxious you really felt about it until that last part slipped out, Austin squeezing your hand as he pulled to a stoplight. 

“Do you think you’d wanna move to the U.S.? If you don’t wanna uproot Cora we can look at me movin’ here.”

He said it so casually, like he wasn’t suggesting he leave his entire life behind to move across the globe, and it went right at your heart. 

“I can’t ask you to do that. She’s still little, and sure visa shit would take time but I think she’d adjust okay.”

“Alright then, so we’re gonna figure this out, and no one is gonna lose anybody.” He replied with a smile as he raised your interlocked hands to kiss them before driving through the green light. “I promise.”

-

The conversation lingered in your mind all day at work, and still was after work when you met up with Leah for Chinese food. Immediately, and unsurprisingly, she noticed.

“You’re quiet.” She stated, looking at you over her work with a skeptical expression.

“I finally asked Austin about what we’re gonna do after filming wraps.”

“And?”

Twirling noodles around your fork, you glanced around to make sure you were mostly alone before you continued. “He offered to move here if I thought moving to the states would be too much for Cora. And I think she’ll be fine, I told him that.” 

“So are you lookin’ at getting a K1 visa?”

You almost spit your food out at that, Leah laughing at how wide your eyes got. It had come up in the research you’d starting during your break on set, but you made haste in scrolling past those results.

“We’ve haven’t even been together together for a full month, we’re not getting engaged Leah.”

She didn’t seem to take that for an answer, putting her fork down to prop her head up on her hands. “C’mon, do you really think there’s going to be anyone else?”

You knew what she was implying but you were quiet for too long and she rephrased the question anyways, tone a degree more serious.

“Do you think either of you are going to end up with someone else at this point? You’re planning on moving countries for him, moving Cora. I like to think I know you pretty well Y/N and you wouldn't be willing to sacrifice so much if you didn’t think Aus was your end game here.”

Picking her fork back up, she pointed it in your direction with the look she’d always given you when there was no point in arguing against whatever she was saying. Not that you had a particularly good argument, that in itself a realization that felt heavy.

“When you know you know, that’s all I’m saying.”

---

July 29th, 2020

Since the the dust settled between the paparazzi fallout and figuring your relationship out Cora had become a semi-regular visitor on the Elvis set whenever Baz gave the greenlight for it. She had Austin and just about everyone else wrapped around her finger, quickly becoming little miss popular among the cast and crew whenever she was around.

And it did your heart good to watch everyone take her under their wings, the fears you’d had about losing your job over the ‘scandal’ of it all feeling silly in hindsight.

On this particular day the two of you had opposing schedules, Austin leaving the day at two after an early morning call when you were just coming in to work lights for some casino scenes with Tom. You brought Cora with you to swap off, and give her some time to run around what had quickly become her favorite playground.

The last you saw after the switch she was fine and giggling on Austin’s shoulders as he showed her around the International Hotel set. So when you had a couple seconds to check your phone almost an hour after you parted ways, the text from twenty minutes prior that you were just seeing came with a bit of whiplash.

Hey, Cora threw up. Gonna take her back to yours once she seems okay enough for the car ride. DW about rushing home but call when you get a minute.

Well, you were worrying whether he wanted you to or not. And you were about to call when you heard footsteps coming towards you and looked up to a rather frantic production manager. She seemed to clock that you knew why she was there, running a hand through her hair.

“Been running around like a mad woman trying to find you, Austin’s on his way to parking lot B.”

You thanked her before taking off across the studio, spotting him getting into the drivers seat of his car as you reached the lot. Speeding up to a run so he didn’t drive off before you reached him, you managed to get there before he hit the gas.

“Hey, I’m so sorry- she was fine earlier, I wouldn’t have brought her to set if she was sick.” You rushed out as he rolled down the window, waving you off. “Kids puke baby, nothin’ to be sorry about.”

Your attention was pulled by sniffles before you cohort respond, Cora having spotted you from the backseat. Opening her door and crouching down, you were met with a four year old hiccuping through tears.

“Sick on daddy,” She whined, cheeks flushed.

“She threw up on you?

Turning towards the drivers seat you realized Austin didn’t have a shirt on under his hoodie. And you hoped that at least meant she hadn’t thrown up on the Elvis jumpsuit Austin had on when you first got to set.

“I was already outta costume,” He supplied with a little shrug, and you muttered a quiet “Thank you Jesus.”

Sighing as you stood back up, you reached into your back pocket for your phone as you spoke. “I can tell my supervisor what’s going on and he’ll let me go, he’s good about Cora.”

But Austin shook his head, reaching for your arm to stop you. “I got her, really.”

You met his eyes then, realizing suddenly why he was being so insistent about you staying at work. He’d been alone with Cora before. But the worst he’d had to do thus far was talk her down from the occasional tantrum. 

This was different, and you got the sense that he was treating it like some sort of parenting litmus test. And while you didn’t have any intentions of drilling his abilities as a father yourself, ever, you were touched by how adamant he was being about the whole thing.

So you put your phone back in your pocket with a soft “Okay”, giving Cora a goodbye with an assurance that you’d be home later before shutting her door.

When you popped back up to the driver's seat Austin leaned out of the car window for a kiss, promising he’d call if she got much worse.

Your phone buzzed only a couple minutes after you’d walked off, leaving them while he was still parked getting Cora calmed down because you had to get back to set.

Thank you for trusting me. Love you.

The message brought a smile to your face in spite of how shitty the situation was, and you shot back a Love you too. before put your phone on do not disturb. If Austin called it would come through anyhow, and you wanted to try your best not to helicopter text about Cora.

-

When you were leaving for the night and did check your phone you had a litany of notifications from Austin. And Cora being sick was far from ideal, but the live feed he’d been keeping you on via text was so sweet you found yourself laughing some under your breath.

No puking in the car, considering that a win.

Got her to keep a couple crackers down.

Nevermind. 😅

Outfit change #2 time (for me, not Cora bless her heart).

She threw up when she was laying in bed and missed the bowl. Put the dirty stuff in the washing machine but don’t know where you keep the spare bedding and don’t want to leave her alone to look too hard. Gonna set us up on the couch.

The next message came with a photo of the back of Cora’s head, blonde hair pulled into two braids that you didn’t think looked all that bad.

Asked me to do her hair after I gave her a bath, I did my best!

I hate knowing you’ve been doing this all by yourself all this time. You’re a super mom.

Cora hasn’t thrown up in a hot minute and says she’s feeling “less yucky” so we might be out of the woods. Think we’re both gonna be asleep by the time you get home though. I love you.

He’d assumed right by that, the sight that met you as walked into your flat the both of them asleep on the couch. Cora was curled up under Austin’s arm, her head resting against his neck with a hand on his face.

The sight was so sweet you snapped a photo before moving to wake them up. Which you felt a horrible about, but Austin couldn’t afford to screw up his back on your couch or get whatever Cora had come down with. Which it might’ve be too late to avoid given that she’d thrown up on him, and from what you’d assumed by his texts a second time at that. Better safe than sorry though.

He stirred when you scooped Cora up off of him, a flash of panic crossing his eyes before he realized it was you.

The husky “Oh, hi,” he gave you sounded absolutely exhausted, his eyes not even open all the way for a minute there.

“I’m gonna let her sleep in my bed,” You whispered over your daughter’s head as he sat up slowly. “And I hate to kick you out but I don’t want you to catch whatever she has.”

Austin stretched his back, waving you off as he turned back to face you. “‘s fine. I think it’s just food poisoning anyway, she didn’t have a fever or nothing.” 

“And if it’s the flu then Baz is gonna have my head for getting you sick.” You replied, knowing the argument was already lost.

He followed the two of you down the hallway, Cora waking up fully as you were laying her down in the middle of your bed. Opening her eyes, she gave a little tired smile when she saw you.

“Hi momma,” She said so quietly you almost didn’t hear her, and it was moments like this that you really understood what people said about your kids being your heart walking around outside of your body. Brushing a few hairs out of her eyes, you smiled softly.

“Hi Cor, you feelin’ a little better?”

She nodded at that, but pulled her gaze away from you to scan the dark room, sitting up some in your bed as you laid down next to her. Austin was across the room plugging his phone in, your bedroom too dark with the lights off for Cora to see where he went.

“Where’s daddy?” 

“Right here sweetie,” He said softly as he came back over, climbing into bed and pressing a kiss to her head as he laid down.

Cora ended up sandwiched between the two of you, her head knocked back on Austin’s chest with a foot nudged almost in your ribcage.

And Austin had a protective arm slung over the both of you, Leah’s words running through your head like a skipping CD as you tried to sleep.

“When you know you know, that’s all I’m saying.”

xxx

tag list (tags don’t always work, i do my best!): @chernayawidow @theinvisiblecapricorn @aalishifts @mavericksicybabe @cryingabtab @kittenlittle24 @invisiblee-smoke @mrs-munson-quinn @cevans-winchester @kikilovesdankmemes @oh-austin @chrissie-soula @starcatchxr @butlervol6 @thedeviltohisangel @redhoods-gf @gabrielajimenez @stlover288 @alqvarde @loudwombatmugkid @austinbrainrot @ab4eva @m0ndayagain @marlowmode @kingbouji3 @gardenavenue @yeonimii @eliseinmemphis @blurredcolour @tiddieshakeshownu @fallininlovewithurlove @briannaisanxious @amiets2 @karamelcoveredolicity @amnmichh @mrsniallhoran505 @strokesofstokes @starry-night-20

[solitaire-sol]

(Slightly Late) Snippet

Thanks to @groundzero-v for the tag! This is a bit from my previously-mentioned Regency AU, though I'm still waffling over it because I'm not as familiar with the Regency period as I am with the Victorian. Anyway: The young Earl of Welspryng Grange attends a house party at the country estate of the Most Hon. Marquess Black, intent on a proper marriage to Lady Regina, the Marquess' daughter. Lord James Potter is confident that things will go according to plan-- but did not account for Lady Regina's elder brother, the notorious Lord Sirius Black.

His first instinct, of course, was to reach for James-- James, already James, even if only in Sirius' mind. It would have been all too easy to put out a hand and halt the other's flight, to wrap his fingers around the finely-muscled arm beneath that merino sleeve or twist his fingers into that snowy cravat in the same way that they could so easily tangle in those glossy black curls, forever on the verge of being flyaway. It would have been easy, a simple act of seduction that Sirius had performed to great success many times before.

And yet something had stilled him, leaving Sirius to watch in uncharacteristic inaction as James muttered a half-audible goodnight and beat a hasty retreat, the tails of his coat disappearing around the edge of the drawing-room door. Annoyance, and an odd, nebulous feeling of regret, welled up in Sirius, who berated himself for his inexplicable hesitation and consoled himself with a swallow of his father's finest cognac. The sweet burn of the spirit was a match for the frustrated desire that still had his senses alight, so it hadn't been a lack of interest that had held Sirius back; some subconscious concern, then, about a lack of interest on the part of James?

No, Sirius considered himself an excellent judge of whether or not someone might welcome his attentions. Sirius doubted very much that James had ever considered another man with prurient interest, but he was equally certain that he had not misread the way that James had glanced at him at dinner, the wit that had matched Sirius' rather blatant innuendo with a much more discreet yet certainly playful response.

'And clever, to boot,' Sirius thought, holding his almost-empty glass to the fire and watching the flames play through shifting hues of brown and amber and gold that brought to mind the color of the young Earl's eyes. Not merely moneyed, then, nor only handsome; his reputation, from what little Sirius knew of it, was spotless, thus Sirius had assumed that Lord Potter would be as dull as the lack of scandal implied. He was beginning to reconsider that assumption, the periodic gleam that flashed out from those hazel eyes indicating much more than the well-brought-up, easily-collared dullard that Sirius had guessed his parents would obtain for his sister.

"What a waste," Sirius murmured, and drained his glass. James Potter deserved so much more than Regina, with her petty jealousies and her unfulfilled ambitions… and perhaps Sirius would be able to provide it, at least for a little while. If Fate, and James, proved amenable.

The beginnings of an optimistic reverie were disturbed as the drawing-room door opened, and Sirius perked up momentarily before he saw that it was only Regina, disappointment leaving a bitter taste in his mouth before his indifferent smile was back in place. "Regina," Sirius greeted her. "Aren't you up late, dear sister. Roaming the corridors when we have a gentleman guest-- Isn't that a little risqué for your reputation?"

Regina ignored Sirius' jibe, her long skirts rustling as she strode up to Sirius. Regina's posture was perfect, a stark contrast to Sirius' easy lean against the mantelpiece, but her doll-like face was set in a distinctly unladylike way, her eyes stormy.

"Stay away from him," Regina ordered, and her authoritative tone was enough to make Sirius want to laugh, even as her resemblance to their mother had never shown more clearly.

"And by 'him,' you mean… ?" Sirius prompted, swallowing the laugh that would undoubtedly have escalated the situation. His restraint mattered little, as Regina would not be deterred.

"I saw him leaving," Regina said, and Sirius' urge to laugh dissipated almost instantly, one eyebrow lifting as Regina continued, "Lord Potter. He seemed--" Regina paused for a moment, as if she wasn't quite sure how to describe it, before she forged ahead.

"I know how you are, Sirius," Regina said instead, and a spark of irritation flared up in Sirius before he forced it away. Precocious little Regina, who could be just as sanctimonious as the Marchioness herself. "I know your… predilections." She said the word as if it were a curse, and Sirius reflected with bitter amusement that it was probably as close as Regina could come to acknowledging her brother's 'predilections.'

"Lord Potter is a most eligible prospect," Regina went on, "and a fortuitous one, given how you'll undoubtedly ruin our family out of nothing more than spite once you're Marquess. I won't have you ruin this, not after everything I've had to do to get this far."

Regina spoke about the promise of an engagement as if it were nothing more than a business affair, which was fair enough; certainly, Sirius knew that was how his parents viewed it, as the most pragmatic match his sister was likely to find. The Potters were noble, wealthy, and distant relations, to boot-- An Earl was not a Marquess, but everything else made it close enough. Even so, there was something slightly more emphatic about Regina's demand than was strictly called for, and Sirius' eyes narrowed as the flickering light glinted off the silver comb in Regina's hair. The ornament was unremarkable enough, perfectly suited for a young woman of her age and rank, but the apple blossom engraved upon its curved surface seemed significant, and its arc of matched topaz stones was reminiscent of firelight through fine cognac.

That was it, Sirius realized. Regina was, as ever, a dutiful daughter, but she was also ensuring her own future. As an unmarried woman, she would forever be reliant on Sirius' uncertain goodwill, but Lord Potter represented freedom from that reliance, an escape from her parents' house and the chance to be the mistress of her own, an identity beyond "Lord Black's unfortunate sister." Of course Regina would cling to her newfound suitor with all of the strength in her dainty hands.

Sirius briefly considered the matter, which, after all, would affect him very little. It would even make things easier on him if Regina were married by the time their father finally ceded his title, since Sirius would not have to provide for her. When he'd made the idle decision to return, Sirius had never intended to stay: What would it cost him to give Regina this, to bow to her demand and leave James Potter be?

Sirius considered it, and then he considered James, with those hazel eyes and that brilliant smile, something secretive at the corners of that bewitching mouth which seemed suited to more than simply smiling. Sirius prided himself on never letting lust cloud his better judgment, but there was more to his attraction to James than something so commonplace— something familiar. James Potter intrigued him.

"My apologies, dear sister," Sirius said at last, moving to refill his glass. "But I cannot grant your request. As you know, ruining things is a special talent of mine."

[findmeabowlofundertale]

UUUUUGGGHHHHH OKAY! PART 8.... point one. 8.1. Tumblr says I have too many text blocks so this is gonna be in two parts. hhh. 8.2 will be up shortly. [Prev] [Next]

This begins immediately following the last part. Like, immediately following.

There's a lot to say about this whole part, actually...

Firstly, that Asteri's friends have characteristics taken from my two closest friends irl, BUT!! They are NOT them. So, uh, if my irl friends ever see this, hey, just letting you guys know that for all the similarities, Asteri isn't me and these guys aren't you, so this isn't like... truly reflective of our actual friendship. I needed some conflict, and this was how it worked you with these characters I made up that borrow some traits from you guys!

Second, Asteri's got a lot going on. Just... putting that out there.

Third, one of those irl friends really does say "nonetheless" almost every time she trails off so that's in here as a speech quirk bc I think it's funny

Fourth, uhhhhhhhh I continue to have bad pacing. But too bad. I worked really hard on this so even though I know it's not great, I'm not going to be ashamed.

Fifth...... get ready for some emotional discussion. Read this when you have a lot of time, because there's a LOT, and it gets h e a v y.

OKAY HAVE FUN

- - - -

She wanted him to stay.

Comforting soup and good laughs aside, at the end of the night she was still afraid of that darkness. There was no possible way it could “get” her— she couldn’t have reached that place-between-places even if she wanted to— but it was a deeper, primal terror:

She didn’t want to be alone.

But she wouldn’t ask that of him. There wasn’t even a place for him to sleep. She, at least, could shift her magic around to fit somewhere; he was stuck being that tall. No, she wouldn’t ask him to stay, and he wouldn’t offer, but they both wondered if the other would mention it or if they should say something after all. But at the end of the night, neither did. He checked that she was alright and promised to be over at a moment’s notice if she texted him. She thanked him again for everything, and stood on her toes to tap their heads together, and failed to notice that he didn’t move away when she did, and she told him to be safe and text her when he got home. She watched him leave and waved and smiled reassuringly at him before watching him disappear with an unexpectedly silly noise and a dark blur.

And then she curled up in bed with all the lights on, tail tucked tightly around her, and stared at her phone to wait for his text. When it came through she breathed a sigh of relief and wished him goodnight, but then kept staring at the screen hoping he would say something else so she had a reason to stay awake. He wouldn’t, though, and didn’t, and so she just laid there until exhaustion forced her eyes closed.

She dreamt of the blue ceiling stars in their black rock, never moving from their places, always guiding the way home.

⁂

The next morning, she felt a lot better, but she still wished somebody were there with her. Unfortunately, of all her friends, she was the only one who didn’t live in the capital; nobody was close enough to come visit her on a whim. Even so…

She sighed and rolled over, reaching for her phone with her tail and typing out a message with a materialized hand.

Hey, good morning. Do you work today? <

It wasn’t until several minutes later that she got an answer.

> Ohayo! =^.^= (Thats good morning) no work today, just class > why? Did u get more of the japanese figured out??

Asteri sighed.

No, sorry. Not much more beyond what we worked out last time. <

> oh np > What’s up then?

Just wondering if you were busy. No worries. Have a good day at school! <

> oh… ok! Thanks!

Maybe she should try…

Are you guys busy today? Wanna hang out? <

Within moments, there was a response.

> Omg, YESSS! > Asteri! Finally! > I have today off, so we can meetup whenever

Wanna come over now? < I’ll make breakfast <

> Ough, you live so far away, though. You don’t want to meet somewhere instead? I could just do with some company. Idk if I’m up for going anywhere. I had a day yesterday. < > Omg? Are you okay?

Yeah I’m fine. Just… idk <

> That’s okay, gurl. We all get that Funk.

I appreciate it. <

> I have to help my brother with something, then I’ll come over. Maybe more like brunch? > If that’s okay??

Yeah that’s fine! I’ll make pancakes <

Sembie, you’re also welcome to come, even if it’s later <

> Unfortunately I’m busy until after that, but I’d really like to see you guys.

You can come by whenever! <

Rather than wait for them to arrive before getting started, Asteri rolled out of bed and got ready for the day so that she could get cooking. Pancakes were always a solid choice. She made whipped cream, cut up some fruit, and then prepped everything else. Once Kelinn text her that she was leaving, Asteri meant to start on the pancakes, but she had gotten distracted looking over her and Alphys’ notes on Japanese and lost track of time. Before she knew it, Kelinn was at her door.

“Ah crap,” she muttered when she heard the knock. She almost tripped over the chair in her haste to get to her feet. When she answered the door, she knew she looked frazzled but smiled hospitably anyway. “Kelinn! Hey! You’re here.”

“Yeeeaaaah!” the other woman cheered. “It me!”

Asteri blew a laugh through her nose at the wording. Together, the three of them were much more casual in their speech than she was with anyone else. With Alphys, who was still in college and therefore barely out of stripes, she wanted to look like a composed, has-her-life-together adult monster. With Gaster, a lot of her formality of speech stemmed from the fact that many of their conversations were spent on academic topics, so naturally she more easily defaulted to more formal grammar. Not that the way she behaved around either Alphys or Gaster was an act, or fake somehow. It was just different aspects of her personality.

“Come on in. I got distracted, so breakfast isn’t ready.” Asteri gave a grumbling sigh as she led her friend inside. “I had everything all prepped! And then got distracted.”

“Pfft, that’s fine.” Kelinn tossed her things on the living room couch and followed the shapeshifter to the kitchen. “It gives Sembie more time to get here.”

“That’s true,” Asteri conceded as she poured ingredients into a large bowl of flour. “There’s not much to do except mix everything and cook it, so you’re welcome just sit and do whatever.”

“Awesome.” The draconic monster had already made herself comfortable at the table anyway. “So, what’s up? You said you had a day yesterday. Or, do you not wanna talk about it until Sembie gets here? Not sure if you saw the group chat, but she said she was leaving about 10 minutes ago.”

Asteri shrugged. “We can talk more after Sembie gets here, I guess.” Sembie tended not to jump to conclusions as quickly, and helped balance Kelinn’s excitability. “Anyway, what’s been up with you? Is your brother alright? You said you had to help him with some stuff.”

Kelinn heaved a heavy, dramatic sigh. “UGGGH! Don’t even get me started.” She got started anyway. “Okay so here’s the low-down…”

Asteri listened as her friend told her about the mishaps of her brother and his kids, and that ongoing saga. The conversation eventually turned to lighter things, and by the time Asteri was finished cooking, they were busy talking about her friend’s novel that she was writing. Considering the distance from the capital and how long cooking had taken, they opted to wait a little longer to eat, until Sembie arrived.

They didn’t have to wait much longer, fortunately. When their ferret friend got there, they greeted her and ushered her to her seat so that they could eat already. It was almost noon, and all of them were hungry.

They made pleasant conversation and caught Sembie up with the goings-ons of Kelinn’s life, until eventually the conversation came back around to Asteri.

“So, see any more of the Royal Scientist?” teased Kelinn around a mouthful of pancake.

Their disbelief was getting annoying. Asteri looked her dead in the eye. “He was here last night.”

Her friend choked.

Asteri quickly clarified. “He walked me home after we got donuts.”

“Aw, that was sweet of him,” said Sembie.

“Wait, you actually believe that?” guffawed Kelinn.

“There isn’t any reason for her to lie. But nonetheless…”

Kelinn made a face. “I guess so.” She leaned her chin in her hand. “At least tell me he’s been treating you right.”

Asteri rolled her eyes. “We aren’t dating. We’re friends. But yes, he’s very kind, very considerate. Just a little absent-minded.”

“I still cannot believe you accidentally ran into him and then somehow started to just. Hang out.”

“Honestly, neither can I,” admitted Asteri around a bite of food.

Sembie spoke next. “So like, what kind of stuff do you guys do? Just talk, or do you have, you know, hobbies in common…?”

Kelinn gestured wildly until she had chewed enough to talk. “You think the Royal Scientist has time for hobbies???”

Sembie shrugged. “He’s got time to walk Asteri home on a weekday. Nonetheless…”

Kelinn narrowed her eyes and leaned her head back. “This is true…” she conceded, stroking at her chin and looking back and forth between them like she was a noir detective.

Asteri blew a laugh out her nose. “We usually go for a walk around Hotland and talk about linguistics or science, then go our separate ways home. Occasionally, we’ll go somewhere else. I’ve had him and another mutual friend, a lizard monster named Alphys, over here a few times. Yesterday, I agreed we could get donuts because he’s actually been eating real meals all week, for once. Like I've been telling him to.”

Her two friends looked at each other, then her, and giggled. “Wow, you’re really close, huh?”

She made a face. “What? No, we’re not... that close. I just…” Know that he doesn’t eat well so I make him sandwiches sometimes, and we meet up almost every week, and I told him about my insecurities growing up, and I probably know more about skeletons than almost anyone alive at this point, and he’s been to my house and destroyed my kitchen, and he showed me his SOUL, and I’ve told him about my parents, and he’s told me about his magic, and we can talk for hours and hours, and he knows I like lemon donuts best, and I know he likes the ones with sprinkles, and he saw me at my worst last night and took care of me, and…

“You take care of me too.”

She swallowed. “W-Well… I guess we have gotten a little close.”

Kelinn looked at Sembie. “We gotta meet this guy.”

“We’re not dating!! I’ve known him like, six months!”

“No,” said Sembie, more gently. “But you care about him. I’m not saying like that! But nonetheless, you do care.”

“Well… yeah. He’s my friend,” Asteri muttered into her glass of water.

“And that’s great!” Sembie encouraged. “It sounds like you guys must get along if you keep meeting up.”

“But AS your BEST friends!” Kelinn declared, “We gotta give him the what’s what!”

“The… what’s what?”

“Yeah!” She slammed her fist into her other hand with a big grin. “Gotta make sure he’s up to snuff!”

Asteri giggled. “Who even says that?”

“Us!”

“You,” corrected Sembie.

“Me! I say it!”

They all laughed.

“Well, alright. He doesn’t really like big groups, and you’re… a lot, Kelinn,” Asteri pointed out, “but I’ll ask him when he’s free to meet you. And you guys have got to update me on your schedules.”

They did so, and Asteri put a note of it in her calendar. The conversation settled, a little, and they went on to ask about other things she and Gaster had done. She didn’t mention the thing with green magic, or the teleporting, but she did tell them about some of her thoughts about speech and text magic, which they didn’t fully grasp but listened anyway because they loved her. They were always good about that.

⁂

“So why did you want company?” Kelinn asked from where she sat still at the table.

Sembie looked up from putting a plate away. “Yeah, you said you had a day yesterday, but then said you went out with Dr. Gaster yesterday…”

“Oh.” Asteri turned her head, a little farther than looked normal, to look at them while she did the dishes. “Oh, no. He- He didn’t do anything.”

Not on purpose, anyway. They wouldn’t understand, and his being able to teleport wasn’t her secret to share, so she couldn’t explain.

“Okay," Kelinn yielded, still a bit dubious. "But if he ever makes you uncomfortable—!!”

“He hasn’t,” Asteri reassured them both quickly. The SOUL thing was more that she wasn’t used to seeing someone else’s, and his ribs naturally had gaps. Yesterday it was just misunderstandings in the donut shop, she wasn’t uncomfortable uncomfortable.

“We trust you," Sembie said placatingly. "But we still want to meet him.”

“That’s fair,” Asteri conceded.

Kelinn shoved her last forkful of pancakes and whipped cream into her mouth before rising and handing the plate off to Asteri, and squinted in thought. After she finished chewing, she asked, “Hey what’s his name, anyway?”

Asteri made a face at the soap bubbles. “What? What do you mean? You know what his name is.”

“No, his first name.” Asteri looked at her, blank. She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, everyone knows he’s “Dr. W.D. Gaster.” But what’s the W.D. for??”

“I… I don’t actually know,” admitted the shapeshifter with a half shrug. “I just call him Gaster. That’s what he asked to be called.”

Sembie raised an eyebrow from where she was helping rinse and dry the dishes. “You’ve been friends with him for how long now, and you don’t know his first name?”

“A few months… and no, but listen!” Asteri frowned a little and stood straighter to explain. “Skeletons’ given names are their fonts; Whatever font they speak in naturally, that’s what their name is. And he—”

“Wait doesn’t he like, not talk?” Kelinn interrupted.

“He signs,” Asteri confirmed. “That’s what I was about to say.”

“So does he just not have a first name?? Or what??”

She huffed at her friend. “Kelinn! It’s not my business. If that was something he wanted to share, then he would.”

“But aren’t you curious?”

“Of course I’m curious,” she huffed. Her frown deepened as she looked to the dragon monster again. “But if he can’t talk, don’t you think it’d be pretty rude to ask him what he’s “supposed” to sound like??” Kelinn was silent, so she continued. “It’s a lot more than just his name. It’s an identifier, a description. I mean, no, it’s not like there was a class system based on fonts—” Besides that one exception he had never elaborated on— “and your font didn’t define your personality or anything, but…” Ugh, how to explain this! Asteri blew a frustrated breath through her nose. “Something that personal isn’t my business. If he wanted to share that, then he would! But he hasn’t, so I’m certainly not going to ask. Who, if anyone, he entrusts that piece of himself to is up to him. So for the love of God, when you meet him, please do not ask him about it.”

Both of the other women were silent at first. A few moments passed with only the sounds of silverware and plates and the splash of water. Alright, maybe she was being a little defensive on his behalf. But Kelinn was asking invasive questions! Why didn’t she ever ask normal questions??

“He can’t talk, then?” Sembie finally asked, hesitant.

Asteri shook her head. “I’m not... actually sure. He can hum, and he makes sound when he laughs, or if you startle him. Sometimes he’ll say “Ah!” or something. But he never speaks aloud, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Huh…”

More silence. This was getting ridiculous. Asteri finally gave in; she needed to lighten the mood again.

“He likes sprinkles on his donuts.”

Kelinn immediately lit up and slammed her hands on the counter as she leaned forward. “OH MY GOD, YES!! A man who knows what’s GOOD!”

“Sprinkles are great,” chuckled Sembie as she wiped off a plate and set it aside.

“I made another friend, too, you know.”

“Oh, yeah! You said you met a lizard?”

“Yeah, her name is Alphys. She’s an intern, technically, but Gaster insists she’s his “brilliant and valued assistant.”” Asteri grinned. “It’s cute. They’re really close. She’s a pretty nervous person, but the three of us get along really well because we’re all prone to going off on long tangents. But we all like to listen to each other, for the most part, so it works out. Oh! And Alphys introduced me to a… a surface language, called Japanese. We’ve been working on trying to translate it and figure out how it works. It has a completely different alphabet! It’s definitely exciting.”

“Aww, that so nice,” Sembie cooed. “But, you said she was an intern? Isn’t Dr. Gaster sort of… really old?”

Asteri shrugged and sighed in resignation. This was something she had wondered, but never had the courage to ask him directly. “I don’t even know anymore. I think skeletons must just live a long time, because he doesn’t act like an old guy. Well. For the most part.”

“Well," acquiesced the ferret, "I guess it doesn’t really matter.”

“Omg, what if he’s secretly in love with his assistant?? Forbidden romance!!” Kelinn dramatically threw her arm up and bent backwards in a pose, hand on her forehead. “Kept apart by societal norms! Languishing in mutual yearning but unable to act!!”

Asteri snorted so loudly she startled herself, and swatted a wing at her friend. “Absolutely not. They don’t have that kind of relationship at all.”

“Maybe they’re hiding it!”

Sembie and Asteri shared a look and rolled their eyes. “You just like age gaps in romance stories.”

“It’s hot!!” Asteri gave her a look. “…In like an ace way.”

“You just have a thing for older men,” Sembie needled.

“I do because they’re HOT!”

""In an ace way?””

Kelinn crossed her arms and nodded sagely. “In an ace way.”

Amused by their antics, Asteri chuckled and shook her head. “Alphys sees Gaster as more of a father-figure than a peer. They’re still friends, but it’s not the dynamic you’re thinking. Which reminds me—”

She pulled her phone out with her tail and materialized a drippy green hand to type with. She needed to ask Alphys and Gaster about meeting her friends. Frankly, the three of them were overdue to simply have a group chat, so she made them one.

Hey, hoping this goes through. I figured we might as well have a group chat. I was talking to my friends, and they would really like to meet you both. I know big groups aren’t your guys’ favorite thing, so if you’d prefer, it could just be one of them at a time? Otherwise, you we could all meet here at my place (or wherever) sometime, when it’s convenient. I’ll send you the days they said they’re free, then just let me know what works for you guys and I’ll pass it along. <

She looked back up to Kelinn and Sembie after she sent their schedules. “I asked Alphys and Gaster when they want to meet you guys and how they want to do it. I’ll let you know what they say.”

“Sure, that sounds good,” Sembie agreed. “We would just meet here?”

“Yeah. Or, I guess, if there’s someplace in the capital. Then I would be the only one who has to travel. That might be better. I’ll ask.”

“I can do whatever, just let me know!” Kelinn affirmed. “I’m closer to Hotland.”

“Cool. And Sembie, normally I would say your husband is welcome, but…”

She shook her head, entirely nonplussed. “No. No. I get it. Lots of people.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

“Sure.”

⁂

They stayed a while longer and chatted about other things, shared funny things they had seen. Kelinn insisted, at one point, that they FIGHT. They hadn’t had a friendly FIGHT in a while, after all. No major damage was dealt, and afterwards they healed each other. It took maybe a half hour, just a few turns. Kelinn’s magic reminded Asteri a little of her own, with a few key differences that were, somehow, difficult to put into words. Sembie’s patterns were more thought-out, but less flexible, and occasionally utilized orange magic. That led to Asteri excitedly informing them of what Gaster had told her about colors and personality traits, which they found interesting, but not quite on the same level as she had, she could tell.

That was reasonable, she reminded herself. They had very different jobs and interests. Their lives had all led them in very different directions since they were in school together. Perhaps if they had only met at this point in their lives, they would not have become friends, but the many years they had known each other kept them close despite their sometimes drastic differences.

When they left, it was after 4pm. Asteri bid them safe travels and promised to text more, as well as to let them know about the plans for meeting Gaster and Alphys. Just like she usually did after spending time with them, she felt simultaneously exhausted and refreshed. It could be a little frustrating, how they didn’t quite understand her work (or, in Kelinn’s case, frequently offered unprompted suggestions to show that she was interested and listening, when in reality the suggestions just threw Asteri off more often than not), but they were supportive even though they didn’t always understand, and they had always been there for her when things were difficult. Differences in interests and hobbies and jobs and personality aside, her friends would take an attack for her without a second thought, would always be up front about things, and had pulled her out of the darkest depths of her mind more than once over the years. Those things were far more important to her than any petty squabble or disagreement could be. Their friendship was formed of things beyond similar interests or opinions.

They were good friends, Asteri thought. And she… well. She could be a better friend. They were patient with her; The least she could do is be patient with them whenever they didn’t understand something or disagreed with her. But that hadn’t happened today, fortunately. They all had a nice time together.

She should work on those Japanese notes, she thought then, and turned to go back inside. She had a lot to catch up on.

⁂

> GOOD EVENING. ASTERI > I WANTED TO CHECK ON YOU. AFTER LAST NIGHT. HOW ARE YOU?

She was climbing into bed when her phone went off. When she saw who it was, she smiled.

I’m doing much better, thank you for checking in on me ^w^ <

Alphys had taught her some emoticons recently. She wondered how Gaster would react.

> AH! A “CAT MOUTH.” ALPHYS. HAS TOLD ME ABOUT THESE.

She giggled to herself.

I think it looks like my mouth when I smile, because it’s pointy like my fangs. What do you think? Does it capture it, or should I use a regular smiley? <

> I THINK IT LOOKS. JUST LIKE YOU

The typing message came up again, so she waited, but then it went away. This repeated a few times until at last he said:

> UNFORTUNATELY. THERE ARE NO SYMBOLS. ON THIS KEYBOARD. THAT RESEMBLE A SKULL. > TRULY. A TRAGEDY.

She snickered.

A tragedy indeed. How am I supposed to imagine your face? With my imagination?? < > YES. YOU MUST USE IT TO IMAGINE. ME ROLLING MY EYES. AT THAT. Oh well that’s easy enough. XD <

He didn’t respond right away, so she added:

Turn your head to the left. <

That got an almost immediate response.

> OH! > I SEE. YOU ARE LAUGHING

She shook her head, thoroughly amused.

At you, specifically. Which I am now doing even more so. <

> OH NO. MY DEAR FRIEND! LAUGHING AT MY EXPENSE? HOW EVER. COULD YOU WOUND ME SO? > I SEE. HOW IT IS.

Asteri snorted a giggle and rolled onto her stomach. Her tail swayed in amusement, legs slowly kicking in the air.

XD < Truly, your drama knows no bounds. I can just envision you packing up your things in a red cloth and tying them to the end of a stick and then slowly walking away. <

> YES. PRECISELY. IMAGINE ME. DOING JUST THAT. Darn, Gaster's gone. I guess I’ll just have to eat all this soup myself :/ < > YOU MADE MORE??

That got a real laugh out of her. She had never seen him double up punctuation before.

Ah, sorry, no. But I’ll make it again sometime. < I should have you try grape leaves. < > IF WE GO. TO SNOWDIN. WOULD YOU MAKE IT AGAIN? You remembered that, huh? You know what? Sure. If you liked it that much. < > YOUR COOKING. IS DELIGHTFUL > IT IS NICE. TO EAT FOOD COOKED BY A FRIEND. AGAIN. Aww, I’m so glad you liked it so much. ^w^ < Again?" < > I HAVE NOT HAD THAT. EXCEPT. ON RARE OCCASIONS. SINCE THE QUEEN

Asteri’s eyes practically bulged.

You knew the queen??? < > YES. I KNEW BOTH. HER AND ASGORE BEFORE. THEY WERE. THE KING AND QUEEN. > WE. WERE FRIENDS.

She rolled over and got more comfortable. This seemed like a conversation that warranted a better position.

You must have been sad when she disappeared. < > VERY MUCH SO.

Yikes, what did she even say to this?

I’m sorry, Gaster… Do you want to talk about it? < > THANK YOU. BUT. IT IS ALRIGHT. > ON. TO HAPPIER THINGS Okay… but let me know if you ever want to talk. <

It took a bit longer for him to reply this time.

> TECHNICALLY. > I NEVER TALK > DO I?

It seemed like a joke, just like the ‘technically my stomach is always empty’ one, but somehow this one felt… different.

I mean, it’s not like I mind. You know that right? <

> YES.

> I KNOW. YOU ARE KIND. LIKE THAT.

> JUST. A LITTLE JOKE

She smacked her forehead with her tail. Of course it was just a joke!! Stupid! You made it weird by calling attention to it!! She was probably just reading into it because her friends had asked about his name, and therefore his font, so the issue of him talking was on her mind. He was probably joking about never mentioning much about his past, rather than commenting on whether or not he spoke aloud.

Right. Sorry. I’m a little tired. My friends came over today. < > AH. YES. I SAW. THE MESSAGE YOU SENT TO ALPHYS. AND ME. > I WOULD LIKE. TO MEET THEM SOON Whenever you guys are free < > THE END OF NEXT MONTH. WORKS FOR ME. Perfect! I’ll let them know. Can you send that to the group chat so Alphys can see too? < > YES Great! Thanks. < Well, I’m whipped, so I’m going to sleep soon. You should too! < > VERY WELL. I WILL SEE YOU. ON FRIDAY. GOODNIGHT ASTERI. Goodnight, Gaster. See you then! <

⁂

Friday came and went, Alphys joining them that time. Then another week, and they actually met up twice: once with Alphys, once without. The fact that a mostly weekly schedule had remained over the past however six or seven months, despite everything, was impressive in Asteri’s opinion. Every week, she met up with at least Gaster (and gave him a Sandwich of Passive-Aggressive Care or two for his lunches), if not both of them, and they talked, or she made dinner (and sometimes they watched anime with Alphys), or they went somewhere else. Like occasionally they went to get donuts, and the heavyset man who always used exclamation points would greet them all enthusiastically by name. His name was Carlope, she had learned this past month, and he did in fact own the place. Alphys came over sometimes, other days, to work on Japanese with her.

It was nice. And Asteri wouldn’t trade the pleasant routine they had for anything.

- [ APPROX. 3 WEEKS AFTER THE TELEPORTATION INCIDENT ] -

> hey sorry for not responding!! ive been swamped w finals coming up x.x No worries! I completely understand. I remember how college is. I’m not THAT old haha < Well not yet anyway < > LOL > at least you aren’t as old as Dr G

Asteri rolled her eyes. He was technically old, yeah, but he sure didn’t act like it a lot of the time.

How long do skeletons even live? Maybe he’s only old from our perspective. <

Alphys started typing, then stopped. Then started again, but a minute or so later, she stopped again. Asteri watched to see if she would continue, but she didn’t. It really wasn’t her business how old he was anyway. Old, if he had fought in the war. There were a number of types of monsters who naturally lived a very long time without being functionally immortal like Boss Monsters. Shapeshifters, like herself, were one. Even if she had been born the year the war ended, she would likely still be alive today anyway, if she took care of herself. Her parents had known the surface as adolescents, after all. As it was, though, she was born around 10 years after the death of the royal children, but was still a child when her parents were killed almost 20 years later. And it had been… what? 40? Almost 50 more years since then? And she was still fairly young. Not young like Alphys, of course… but aging slowed down considerably after childhood. Gah, had it really been so long since she had lost her parents? It really had, hadn’t it?

It made her wonder just how old Asriel and Chara had been. Something like early adolescence, right? Yes, she was about that age when her parents were killed, maybe a little older. It was difficult not to think about them, after having listened to Gaster reminisce during one of their last meetings. Yes, he spoke fondly of the royal children. He had helped tutor them in areas of science and mathematics, while the queen taught them everything else. He had been, of course, wary of Chara initially, he said, but they had grown on him over the years. They were, after all, just a child, albeit a troubled one.

She was still convinced that they were the only good human.

Her phone went off. Alphys finally replied.

> yknow im pretty sure ur right

What had they been talking about again? Oh yeah, Gaster being old.

I know every type of monster ages differently. TBH he doesn’t seem that much older than me < > Oh yeah? > 🕈︎ I told you those don’t show up on my phone. < > omg right sorry > PLS let me upgrade your phone to understand unicode I don’t know what that is but sure. < What did you mean to send? < > well it was better than this emoticon but thisll have to do > >;P

Asteri’s cheeks warmed.

Oh my god Alphys. < Stop trying to set me up with Gaster, it’s not like that. <

In the many months since their ill-fated meeting at the dump (she couldn’t believe it had been almost a year), she and Gaster, and often Alphys, met up more or less once a week. These last few weeks, though, Alphys had been busy studying for finals. So it had mostly been Asteri and Gaster, which was fine. But having more time just the two of them apparently fueled the rumor mill at the lab.

> if u say so~ I’m not dignifying that with a proper response. < > lmao ok ill stop > but itd be so cute

Asteri rolled her eyes and ignored the way that the sentiment actually pleased her just a little, even if Alphys was just messing with her. It wasn’t like that! It was just because they were good friends. Hmph. She had an idea of how to put a stop to this.

If you see him as a father figure, wouldn’t pursuing him make me your step-mother-figure? < > ……… > shit.

Asteri barked out a laugh.

Aww don’t back out now. Don't worry Alphys I’d be a good mommy to you < > AJKFSMXLSASDJDKDLSJHD;SKX??!?,?!1!??!!! > ATSERI > OMFG > u CANT jsut SAY THAT > I ALMSOT CHOKED ON MY RAMEN

She grimaced, shame swelling in her gut. Too far, given the relationship Alphys had with her mother. She should apologize.

Crap. That was too far, wasn’t it? I wasn’t thinking about your situation. I’m sorry. < That was in bad taste < > wait what

I shouldn’t have made a joke about being a good mother since you don’t have a good relationship with yours. That was thoughtless of me, and I’m sorry. <

Asteri rubbed the magic of her wings together anxiously while she waited for the reply. Stupid, stupid! She should have just let the joke go and let Alphys tease her! It was all lighthearted anyway! Obviously Alphys didn’t actually think she and Gaster would be a couple… It was all in good fun. But rather than let it go, she had gotten weirdly personal about Alphys’ relationship with both Gaster and her parents. Yikes, Asteri!! Have some forethought!

> OH > omg Asteri. Don’t Even Worry About It. > That’s not. Uh. What I was screaming about

Asteri’s eyebrows pinched together in confusion.

You’re not upset? What was that reaction about then? < > uhh > nothing don’t worry about it > i um. > thought you were making a different joke What? What joke? < > omg please just pretend i didn’t say anything > ANYWAY HOW ARE YOU

Asteri rolled her eyes and let it go. She caught up with Alphys about what she had texted her about to begin with, then let her finish studying. It was awfully ambitious of her to take on finals and then agree to meet Asteri’s other friends the following week. But good for her.

Speaking of her other friends, she had another conversation to reply to.

As was frequently the case, the three of them ended up talking for an hour.

…and so the IDEA is that other monsters might be able to detect differences in the text magic of a person’s speech, even if they aren’t a skeleton! < > That’s really interesting > How would you test it, though? See, that’s where I’m stuck. <

You guys know what I’m talking about, with Temmies and stuff, right? < > I mean, sort of? > I guess I don't really pay attention to that type of stuff?? > It might be just you…? But like only bc you’re so used to looking for that sort of thing? I mean I know what you mean, but nonetheless

Asteri deflated a little. She had been trying to work out this theory for a year now. These months of knowing Gaster had given her a lot of information, but it was like she always got derailed when she meant to ask him more about this… Well, actually, it was more that she wanted to have more to show before she presented the whole theory to him. Plus, she was sidetracked working on translating Japanese as a side project with Alphys.

It wasn’t like she had much to go off of, and really Kelinn and Sembie had just given her more information by providing their perspectives. So why did it feel like such a failure that they didn’t notice it like her? Did she just want to be right that badly?

I. Guess it might be… < > I thought you asked Dr. Gaster about this kind of stuff? Skeletons naturally see text as a person speaks. He can’t give me an outside opinion < > Okay but. If nobody else has ever seen people’s words, in all the history of monsters… I’m not saying other monsters can see speech text! Just that maybe we can sense it. Or intentionally change how our speech looks < Like! He said I use interrobangs < Y’know, like this: <

[ASTERI sent a picture] <

> Like in your speech? Out loud?

Yeah. When I ask something intensely. Like if someone kicked my door down and I was like, “What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Apparently. < Anyway! What I’m saying is that the concept that a monster might be able to deliberately alter the subconscious parts of their speech, like unusual punctuation— as if it were written on paper, or a computer— has such INCREDIBLE potential for language! < > You said that HE said… that everyone’s speech has magic? Yeah. < > Well. Not everyone can manipulate their magic like you… Maybe it’d be easier for shapeshifters? You can change your bullets after all > Do you see what I’m saying?

Asteri wilted, the disappointment weighing on her like a stone. How had she never considered…?

Yeah. Yeah, no, that’s… never occurred to me. < I gotta give that some thought… < But that still leaves no reason for me to be able to pick up on how it sounds different. < > Maybe you’ve got a skeleton in your family!!

For some reason, the suggestion made her want to immediately end this conversation. There’s absolutely no reason for that, calm down Asteri.

No, my entire family is shapeshifters. My parents never mentioned any other kinds of monsters in our family < > Okay but like maybe there was a forbidden romance! That your parents kept secret! > The family shame!

> Two star-crossed lovers, kept apart by their families!!

Asteri’s tail flicked in further irritation against the floor. She did not like the implications of this.

Kept apart? < How would I exist, then? < > Well I’m not saying they STAYED apart There aren’t any skeletons in my family, Kelinn. <

This isn’t a romance novel < > ok but what IF There aren’t. That’s not it <

> But you can’t know for 100% > Tell me that's not cool to think about!! > Alright you two. I’m NOT saying there was some secret love child. But I mean none of us know for sure everyone who was related to us before the war… > I’m not saying that’s what the reason is. But technically you COULD have a skeleton ancestor.

Asteri clenched her jaw.

> I’m not saying you do! > But you’ve got to admit! It would explain a lot about your idea!! Okay you know what I am DONE with this conversation < Shut up shut up shut UP < Im turning my phone off just SHUT UP!! <

She needed to go for a walk. Before she threw her phone across the room or broke something.

What her friends had suggested frustrated her. She had lashed out mostly because they had made valid points, but she berated herself for being so immature about her response. That was not how a scholar reacted when confronted with evidence that contradicted their ideas. She was bitter. Ugh, but why?

Gaster had once said that bitterness was a means of coping with hurt, and in turn a sign of perseverance. Well, he hadn’t worded it quite like that. But what in the underground was she HURT about? Being wrong? No, potentially being wrong? Very mature, Asteri, wow. Fantastic.

She grumbled and kicked a rock into the river. Now she was mad at herself for being mad. Great. What a useful goddamn cycle of emotions!! She picked up another rock with her tail and threw it as hard as she could into the water with an angry shout.

“UGH!!” It wasn’t enough. She needed to burn energy, and throwing stuff wasn’t going to cut it. She glanced behind her to make sure she was alone, then summoned a flurry of bullets and let them fly at the cave wall. She did it again. And then again. Again. …She was out of patterns.

Stupid patterns, stupid bullets, stupid DAMN ASTERI! “Perseverance.” She scoffed bitterly. “Some perseverance I have!” She squeezed her eyes shut, body shaking with barely contained frustration. Subconsciously she wondered if she would shift in anger, something she hadn’t done since becoming an adult, but this felt different. For every word, she smacked her tail against whatever was closest.

“I! Can’t! Even! "Persevere!" Through! Being! WRONG!!” With every word she felt her SOUL grow tighter, her magic shuddering, coiling back like an antagonized snake, until the very end it released in what felt like a shockwave. Her eyes flew open with a gasp and she stumbled back. At first she didn’t see anything. Then, like gossamer threads, cords of violet magic caught the light. She turned. Circles, spaced haphazardly but concentrically around her, went straight outward for a few yards, then stopped. Purple magic. It was just like Gaster had told her. Magic in lines. There was no target though, no SOUL to be affected, so it looked like she had just…. cast the trap part? Now temporarily distracted from her anger by surprise, confusion, and curiosity, she leaned down and tried to touch one with her tail. It vibrated slightly, like a string on an instrument, and gave a strange, incredibly uncomfortable feeling of feedback in her SOUL. It was unpleasant in a way she couldn’t explain. So, touching them didn’t dissipate them like bullets… Oh right, bullets. She summoned a few and tried to send them somewhere above and between the cords. They flew to the lines instead like a magnet had pulled them, and careened along the circles for about the length of a turn, then fizzled out like usual. What did this even mean…? And how did she get it to go away? She was not familiar with casting anything much more advanced than fire magic; bullets were all she ever even considered attempting in FIGHTs, and she had never been particularly interested in FIGHTing. Actually, no, that was a lie. She had a time, following her parents’ murder, where she wanted nothing more than real battle training, and she put a lot of thought into bullet patterns as a means of protection. But that anger had soon enough given way to sadness— depression— and the other stages of grief. And she had moved on, at least as well as she could. Her HP had taken a major hit for a long time after, but as she had learned to cope, it had returned to a normal range for a shapeshifter, and then continued to increase as she got older and life got better. Last time she CHECKed, it was actually at an all-time high. But none of this explained her use of purple magic. And the cords were still there. She did not like how it felt to touch them, and she didn’t know what would happen if she tried to squeeze under them or move overtop of them…

She pulled out her phone and took a deep breath, then dialed a familiar number.

Surprisingly, it picked up. Instantly, she launched into rambling. “Gaster I know calling doesn’t work well for you I’m really sorry but can you come to Waterfall? Please?? I’m not by my house, I went for a walk to let some steam off, b-but I accidentally cast weird magic and I-I don’t know how to make it go away and you’re the only one I know who knows a lot about colored magic—” There was a startled noise at the other end. “Y-Yeah, um, I cast purple magic? I-I think? And I don’t know what to do, c-can you… can you help me?” She took a deep breath, knowing that babbling wasn’t going to help. Her eyes squeezed shut. “I’m really, really sorry to ask you away from work, I… I just, um.” She swallowed. “Can you, um, hum, I guess? If you can come? If not, I-I’ll figure it out…”

He hummed the same tune as when he’d calmed her down after the teleport.

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, so much. Here, let me tell you where I’m at from my house…” Less than ten minutes later, he came running around the corner. “I apologize for taking so long, I had to finish what I was working on,” he explained as soon as he caught sight of her. “What—” “Wait stop!” He froze, almost falling over mid-step. Asteri rubbed the magic of her wings together anxiously. “I don’t know what will happen if you step inside the lines. Can you see them?” She gestured to one with her tail. “They feel really weird when I touch them. I don’t know how to make them go away…” Gaster looked to where she pointed, then nodded offered a reassuring smile. “Do not worry. It should not affect me, and even if it does, the trap will do no damage on its own.” She swallowed, but nodded, and he came closer. When he reached the edge of one of the circles, he carefully stepped over it, lifting his foot high and then continuing toward her. She extended her tail toward him, which he held onto for balance once he was close enough, and with that she guided him towards her. Once he reached her, she inched backward to give him room to stand inside the innermost circle. There wasn’t much space to begin with. He put his hands on his hips and turned, surveying the surrounding magic, then nodded to himself and turned to her. “You are alright?” She nodded. “Good. Admittedly, I have not encountered purple magic since the war, so I am not completely sure how to deal with it. But!” He gave an encouraging smile. “It is very impressive that you cast this!” Looking around at the skewed, uneven lines, Asteri made a face. She still felt miserable. “Well. Thank you. It doesn’t feel very impressive.” Gaster managed to make a tutting sound and gave her an admonishing look. “Asteri, you must be kinder to yourself.” His expression softened. “What led up to this? You said that you went for a walk to “let off steam.”” At this, she turned away, embarrassed. “I had been talking to my friends, and they… said something. I don’t even know why it made me so upset. But I got angry, so I went for a walk. And then got angry at myself for being angry. Nothing was helping, though, so I just…” Her face warmed. This sounded so juvenile. “I… shot a couple bullet patterns into the wall. But... I… ran out of patterns, because I never practice. And then I got even angrier at myself. And then… this happened.” It was hard to look at him, but she had to in order to see what he said. She sighed quietly and turned her eyes back to him. “You are ashamed for feeling angry.” Yeah, nope. She wasn’t ready to look at him if he was going to psychoanalyze her. She swiveled her head away again, a persistent heat in her cheeks. The defensiveness clattered against the inside of her mouth like a rubber ball in a metal box, but she wouldn’t snap at Gaster, she wouldn’t. He had been nice enough to leave his job in the middle of the afternoon to come rescue her from her own problem.

The shame grew in her chest like a cancer. She heard him sigh, and the feeling doubled in size. This was a mistake, she just panicked, she should never have called him, even his patience had to have a limit, and this was it. This was all— “I cannot help you,” he signed with blue hands within her line of sight, “if you do not let me.” “I shouldn’t have called you, I should have just. Figured it out on my own,” she answered, too fast, too harshly, and immediately regretted that it came out like she had spat it. It felt like poison on her tongue, but her feelings were too sharp and cut into the tone of everything she tried to say. “It isn’t your problem.” (I’m sorry for pulling you away from your work.) “It’s my mess.” (I feel like I’m taking advantage of your kindness and desire for a friend.) “And I don’t need a damn therapy session.” (I’m too ashamed to tell you how I acted because if you judged me I don’t think I could bear it.) She glanced up at him, knowing that her anger at herself shot through her eyes like ice at him. He looked startled, then hurt (and god she wanted to wither away right then), then angry, and she jolted, shrinking a little. She felt herself slowly begin to melt, and it wasn’t voluntary but she didn’t try to stop it. That was it. Nobody in their right mind would put up with what she just pulled. He was mad at her. And oh, she absolutely deserved it, but it made her feel like the scum of the earth. Whatever he said next, she had coming, but knowing it was going to be the end of everything made her eyes sting. Stupid. Weak. You brought this on yourself by acting so childish, and now you have the audacity to cry? She tried to blink the feeling away and brace herself. “You,” Gaster began, and him just pointing at her almost brought her the rest of the way to tears, “are pushing me away to try to protect yourself.” ...What? “Whatever it is that happened has you so ashamed that merely mentioning the feeling immediately made you defensive.” He frowned even more. She looked away again, the sight of him angry enough to look at her like that making her melt even faster. He sighed, and she could practically hear the annoyance. Tears welled up in her eyes despite her angrily shouting at them in her head to not do that.

“Asteri.” She ignored him. “Asteri.” She turned her head away. He frowned even more and moved blue hands into her line of sight. “Asteri.” It was finger-spelled that time, he didn't even use her name sign. She squeezed her eyes shut. He couldn’t talk to her if she wasn’t looking, and that that HAD to be rude enough to make him leave. Silence, for a few seconds, then an almost-silent sigh, a strange, cartoonish sound, and a microsecond of heaviness. She opened one eye. He was gone. He was gone.

She dropped to her knees and let the tears well up as a truly pitiful little cry escaped her mouth. That started off a chain of hiccuping sobs as she held her head in her wings, and melted together like the pathetic excuse of a friend she was. This was truly ugly crying, the undignified sounds she made. “Asteri you i-i-idiot!” she bawled, “Now he’s never coming back!” She dissolved into tears, almost literally, and wept until she could finally think straighter. It felt like forever, but once she had calmed down a little, she opened her eyes and looked around. After all, she still needed to figure out what to do about the purple magic. She sniffled as she scanned the surrounding area numbly. Maybe, somehow, she could repair things with Gaster. Oh who was she kidding!? She ruined it. She would still apologize, somehow, but there was no way he would forg— “O-OH MY GOD YOU’RE STILL HERE!!!” The skeleton was standing against a far wall, on the other side of the river, but certainly still close enough to have heard and seen everything that just happened. She flattened all the way against the floor, now all but a blob, and in a brilliant move of pure, instinctual self-preservation, changed to the exact color of the ground and held perfectly still. There was that strange, objectively silly noise again, and suddenly he was standing over her. She squeaked in alarm, but then clamped her mouth shut and pretended he wasn’t there. He sighed and crouched down. His eyelights were tinged cyan blue. At least he couldn’t see where her eyes were. “Asteri, please talk to me.” When she did not, he continued. “I am not angry. I am frustrated, yes. But I am not stupid. You called me in a panic; When I got here, you were relieved. As soon as I mentioned shame, you immediately got defensive and told me to leave. I can piece together that you spoke in anger. I did not truly leave the area, because I wanted to ensure you were alright. I had a feeling that you needed to get some things out considering that me frowning at you almost brought you to tears.” Thank god she was already on the ground, because this was humiliating. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and when he opened them again, his expression was softer. “Seeing you break into tears and berate yourself because you thought you had driven me off for good was more than enough confirmation that you did not mean anything.” He offered a tiny, awkward smile. “Frankly, though, nothing you said to me was especially cruel. I think you may be being hard on yourself because most of your anger was directed internally anyway. Even if I had not witnessed that, I would only have given you space, not abandoned your friendship.” His smile turned a little more genuine, eyes softening. “I am admittedly difficult to get rid of, unless you tell me directly. I am not good with subtext, you see.”

Suddenly he brightened, straightening, with a huge grin on his face.

“Only regular text!” He broke into laughter at his own terrible joke— it was barely even a joke, good grief— and Asteri couldn’t muffle a little huff of humor in time. He somehow brightened even more. “A laugh! Good!” She still didn’t want to say anything, though, or un-camouflage. Gaster’s excitement died down and his expressions changed to a more thoughtful one as he looked over the arrangement of purple magic. “Purple magic is trap magic,” he reminded her, though his attention was still turned to the surrounding rings. “It is also associated with perseverance. If you are angry, but feel that you should not be, the desire to persevere through something is there. It is not an ideal form of perseverance, but it is perseverance nonetheless. However…” He looked back down at her, silently noting that she was slowly returning to her normal lavender hue. “…Trap magic with no target can only do one thing.” She peered up at him through still-hidden eyes. “Purple magic, like perseverance, works best with others close to you as support. It seems that purple magic allows you to entrap what is causing you difficulty and analyze it, observe its behavior. But a good analysis needs multiple perspectives. And if your focus is internal when you use purple magic, then the only thing that will be trapped...” Asteri swallowed and found her voice. “…Is me.” Gaster smiled gently at her. “You cannot persevere through your own emotions. You will only sever yourself from others. In order to deal with them, you must ready yourself, then deal with them head-on—“ He summoned a green bone-shaped bullet and grinned hopefully— “with kindness.” She sighed, long and tired, and let her color come back, slowly reforming into something vaguely solid, though not quite her usual form. Most of her was still in a puddle on the ground. The last thing she wanted to do was look Gaster in the eye when he would look right back (because that would mean being seen, and in that moment nothing felt scarier), but she mustered the courage and met his eyes. Immediately, they lit up with a faint green, and he smiled at her with nothing short of pride. Green is absolutely the color of kindness, she thought, if someone can see me after everything and look at me like that. “There you are.” As if she were ever truly hidden, she scoffed inwardly. But just like always, he wore nothing but sincerity on his face. “It’s me,” she agreed ruefully. The worst friend ever. Making him come here, snapping at him, and then being so pathetic that she didn’t even allow him his rightful frustration, she made him put it aside to comfort her. “You do not seem particularly happy about that fact,” he observed. “I just think… you should be mad at me,” she muttered, eyes on the ground. “I think,” he began, forcing her to look up, “that you want me to be angry with you so that you can be angry at yourself.” “I’m already angry at myself!” she huffed. “Yes, because you think you deserve it,” he replied patiently. “Why should I add to it?” “Because I do! And because you didn’t- you didn’t even get to be upset, you had to come over here and coddle me!” Gaster raised a curious brow. “I had to?” Her face flushed, but she held her ground. “Y-Yeah!” He tilted his head and looked down his metaphorical nose. “I did not. I wanted to,” he corrected. “That’s… dumb,” Asteri grumbled. “I know you do not mean that you truly believe that my feelings or desires are motivated by stupidity,” Gaster signed seriously, though not harshly, “but consider what your self-hatred implies when you discredit others’ genuine desire to help you.”

Oh, his words cut deep. Deeper than any possible insult could have. It would have been so, so much easier if he had been angry. But instead, he was forcing her to confront herself.

“Why do you even want to?” she asked, the leftover defensiveness giving her words the effect of hardness but none of the impact. Like tinfoil on a cardboard box.

“Because you are my friend,” Gaster answered simply. “I care about you.”

“You shouldn’t…”

And there it was. ‘You shouldn’t.’ That was what it boiled down to, wasn’t it? That she believed, deep down, that nobody should care about her; that she did not deserve it-- not when she was like this. She should be better than this.

“Asteri.” She looked up. Gaster looked stern. She almost looked away again, but then he signed. “You are important to me. But you do not get to decide who I am allowed to care about.” Her eyes widened. “That is something no other monster decides. Only me. And no other monster can decide who you care about.”

She opened her mouth, but he cut her off. “If anybody alive does not deserve to be cared about, it is me. Do you know the things I have done? I am the biggest hypocrite of all. What are kindness and patience when you have slaughtered hundreds?” He looked down. “What is integrity worth when it has been broken?”

A long moment of silence passed before he sighed and looked back to her. “I do not like to think about this, but I do not hide these facts. You knew I fought in the war, and I have not failed to mention the ways I killed. But you care about me regardless of whether I feel I deserve it, don’t you?” “I… do.” She nodded, voice growing stronger. “Y-Yes, I do.” A small smile pulled at his face. “After the things I have lived through, and the things I have done, it will take much more than a few words spoken in shame to truly upset me. You must forgive yourself. Forgiveness is not the same as saying that a course of action was right. It is merely the decision to not let it poison your relationship. I do not think that the things I have done were right. Necessary, perhaps. But not right. Despite this, I make an active effort to forgive myself.” Her eyebrows furrowed together. “An active effort?” He nodded. “It is not easy. Forgiving yourself for something must be a continuous choice, or guilt will paralyze you.” They sat there in contemplative silence once more. Gradually, Asteri returned to her form, filling back into the clothes she had melted out of, until she was all the way there once again, knees pulled up to her chest and wings and tail curled tightly around them.

“That’s a lot to think about,” she said at last, quietly. Gaster saw one of the violet circles at the edge of the magic field fizzle away. “Yes. But it is necessary.” A sigh, and a small hum, and her eyelights flitted over to him for a moment before she allowed herself to lean over and rest her head against his shoulder. “You’re a good friend, you know. Way better than I deserve.” “You are better than I deserve, but we are both here, aren’t we?” Asteri smiled, just a little. “Yeah, I guess we are.” He shifted just enough to look down at her. “Do you want to tell me what upset you enough to cause this? I think it would help.” The way she immediately tensed did not go unnoticed, so he gestured to the edge of the rings. “Look. A few have already disappeared. Talking this through is helping.” “It could just be me getting distracted…” she tried, weakly, but knew even without the look she got in return that it wouldn’t work. She heaved a heavy sigh and let her head drop back against his shoulder. “It’s so stupid. I don’t even know why I was so upset about it. And that’s part of what made me more upset.” She paused, hesitant. “I… feel really childish. It was so immature. I don’t…” Another deep breath, and she confessed: “I don’t want to tell you, because I’m afraid you’ll judge me. Even though you say you won’t. You might not act any differently but your opinion of me could still change. I don’t…” It felt like her throat was shrinking, like her voice couldn’t get any smaller. She turned her head to hide her face against his shoulder. Like a child, she berated herself. “…want you to think less of me.” Rather than answer right away, Gaster tilted his head down and tapped the side of it against the top of hers. “It is possible to disagree with a person’s choices without thinking less of them,” he signed when she turned her head again. “Yeah…” “Is it truly worse than having killed people?” Her cheeks warmed. Well when he put it like that…

She sighed in acquiescence. “My friends and I were talking about my work. They didn’t understand what I meant about being able to sense the difference in speech beyond pronunciation. It… It was a whole thing, but basically they said that maybe…” She groaned a little. This was going to sound far worse than it already was. “…Maybe I have a skeleton ancestor or something.”

She didn’t need to be looking at him to feel the eyebrow raise.

“NOT that that’s what I was upset about!” she clarified hastily. “I told them that I didn’t; all my family was other shapeshifters. Then one of them suggested that maybe, a long time ago, there was some secret… tryst or something, I don’t know. Basically that someone had been unfaithful, or there was some secret child with a skeleton or something, and I was unknowingly descended from them. Just because they didn’t understand! And- And obviously I don’t have any issues with having a skeleton family member!! But if I'm part skeleton, it would mean that… that my theory that other types of monsters can sense text magic is false.”

She faltered, for a moment, then launched back into it with the same frustration as before.

“How immature can I get‽‽ Lashing out at my friends just because they brought up a potential explanation that I didn’t like! Getting so angry that I trapped myself with purple magic— which I have never used before! Forcing you to leave whatever you were doing to come rescue me! Lashing out at you, having a literal meltdown, and then this! I’m a full-grown monster! And a scholar! What kind of scholar punches the wall when they’re disagreed with‽” Once she was finished, she slumped against Gaster again and grumbled to herself. “…You punched a wall?” “Metaphorically! With… with the bullets.” Gaster nodded. “Ah.” “To start with…” the skeleton began again after a beat, “it does seem reasonable to be upset over having your family’s integrity insulted.” “But—“ “Hold on,” he halted her. “I know you want to be angry at yourself, not be validated. But wait.” “Fine…” “From my understanding, you were irritated not only with your friends, but also the implications of what they said: that you did not discover this much about text magic on your own merits, rather that it is simply innate due to some hypothetical ancestor. Am I correct?” Asteri raised her head a little. “Yeah… I guess that is it.” A frown took hold of her expression. “But that still isn’t an excuse for getting that upset.” “The validity of emotions and their intensity is another discussion. I am not finished.” “Alright, alright.” “Your family— which is surely a sensitive topic— was casually insulted, then your accomplishments as an academic, which you have worked very hard toward, were dismissed and excused as being a mere coincidence of ancestry. Then, your feelings were brushed aside, either by your friends or your own mind, as being invalid because your friends “only” brought a new possibility to your attention. Instead of acknowledging your right to be upset, you instantly shamed yourself for having such a reaction, which only made you feel worse for being upset to begin with. Every attempt to brush off your feelings and simply push through them-- because you believe them to be a personal failing-- added to the shame you already felt. I imagine that taking a walk did not immediately remove these feelings as you had hoped, because you were not allowing them their place to be felt and then move on, rather you were feeding them to each other until they grew explosive.” Well. That would certainly explain why her magic had felt like that. But that didn’t mean she liked the fact that he was right. “It’s annoying how smart you are,” she grumbled. “Why can’t I just be angry at myself in peace?” “Because your anger was not peaceful.”

Asteri raised her head. He looked at her and continued.

“Your anger was violent toward yourself. It served no purpose, motivated no change. It was no longer anger; it was hatred.” That echoed in her like a shout off the edge of the pier. The words just kept repeating in her mind, in her SOUL. ‘Your anger was not peaceful.’ ‘Violent toward yourself.’ ‘It was hatred.’

Her eyes stung.

“I didn’t think I hated myself,” she whispered, at a loss. “I… I love myself. I love a lot of things about myself.”

“That is good,” Gaster commended her. “But I do not think that self-hatred needs to be all-encompassing to exist in a person.” “How do I stop feeling like this?” she asked the universe more than her friend. Fortunately, the universe had given her a friend to answer. “Practice.”

She turned to him with watery eyes. “Practice?” He nodded. “When you feel upset, remember that anger is not bad. Emotions are simply emotions. They are not moral indicators. The way one reacts to one’s emotions is what matters. But feeling something is not wrong, nor is it stupid.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to remember all of that when I’m upset,” she admitted.

Gaster smiled softly. “That is why it takes practice.” His attention turned to the space around them. “The circles are gone.”

So they were. She hadn’t even noticed. “Thank god,” she sighed in relief. “I’m exhausted.”

He stood and offered her a hand, which she took with her tail. “I am sure.”

Once on her feet, Asteri checked her phone to see the time. “At least I didn’t keep you too long…”

“Even if you had, the lab would not burn down without me. My followers frequently ask me to take more time off.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Your “followers”?” Gaster looked a little sheepish. “It is a joke between us. When my most trusted assistants were new, they followed me from room to room. They are always nearby, thank the stars. I would lose my head without them.”

He paused.

“Literally, come to think of it.”

That earned a chuckle from Asteri. “Oh, is one of them the guy you scared the SOUL out of?”

Gaster giggled guiltily and rubbed the back of his head. “Yes. He retrieved my head for me once I told him what room it was in, rather than try to lead my body there. He claims that carrying my skull is ‘the worst memory he has ever made in Hotland.’ I do confess that it was likely very uncomfortable to pick up a completely inert skull.”

Asteri snickered. “Did your jaw fall off?”

He perked up and pointed at her. “Surprisingly, no! Some active magic must have remained to hold it together.”

“That’s fascinating. I’m morbidly curious, but also terrified.”

Both hands braced on the sides of his head and lifted it off his neck while a blue pair of hands signed for him. “Are you sure you do not want to see?” he teased.

“Absolutely not!” she laughed, somewhat incredulous. “Put that back before you forget it somewhere.”

“I would certainly hate to teleport without it.” He set it back in place, then rolled it around on his neck to make sure it attached properly.

“Right, teleporting…”

She had given it a lot of thought since her bad experience with it. It seemed too useful and convenient to be afraid of. If he was willing, she wanted to try again.

“You teleported the short distance from here to the other side of the river in an instant.”

“Ah. That is because it is so close. However, teleporting any distance here in the underground appears almost instantaneous, although it feels like more time passes during travel.”

“How long is it in… travel… from here to my house?”

Gaster inclined his head and rubbed his chin, eye sockets squinted in thought. “30 seconds, maybe?”

Asteri rubbed her wings together, tail swaying nervously behind her. “You’ve already done so much for me today, but you mentioning teleportation reminded me: I decided... I don’t want to be afraid of it. So if you would be willing, could I come with you again, sometime? But just a short distance?”

His eyes widened slightly. “Of course! It is no trouble, really. I can take you home, if you are agreeable to trying it now.”

She nodded. “I think knowing what to expect will help.”

He held his arms out, and she fused herself into one mostly solid form, then stepped into his embrace and curled her tail and wings around him as he wrapped his arms around her. It felt good to be held, after everything, even if just like this.

“Ready?”

She swallowed and took a deep breath. It would be dark. She knew that. But he wouldn’t let go, and she would be safe.

“Ready.”

Blue, and then black, and then darkness. She shuddered, but didn’t panic this time. Gaster squeezed a hand on her back, then pulled her toward a speck of light just like before. But this time, it came towards them much, much faster, and it wasn’t even the 30 seconds he had predicted before they were stepping out of the darkness and into the tall grass.

Instantly he was facing her, hands on her shoulders while he checked her over with deep blue eyes that flashed with yellow.

“I’m okay,” she told him with a small smile, her tail coiling lightly around his forearm. He sighed in relief and visibly relaxed, eyelights fading back to their usual white. “Good.” “It isn’t so bad, I think, now that I know how dark it is.” Even the first time hadn’t actually been very long, only a few minutes, but the panic had made it feel like it lasted an eternity. “I am relieved to hear that. It is very convenient, no?” “Extremely. That was a 15 minute walk, otherwise.”

“I am never late to work, either.”

Asteri giggled. “Don’t you basically live at work?” Gaster made an indignant sound, though he wasn’t truly offended whatsoever. “I have been going home at least twice a week lately.”

She gave him a look.

“…I have extra clothes at the lab.”

“Go home tonight,” she urged. “Sleep in a real bed.” She lifted a wing to cup his head and bring him closer so that she could get a better look at him. “You’ve got bags under your eyes again, Gaster,” she admonished gently. He smiled guiltily and looked away. “I will, then, only so as not to upset you.” “I only get upset because I care,” she informed him, doing her best approximation of crossing her wings. “If you neglect your health even though other people want you to take care of yourself, isn’t that the same as me saying it’s stupid for someone to care about me?” That earned her an impressed but unhappy glare. “You are too clever for your own good.” She laughed, and he smiled at the sound, any mild annoyance that she had pinned him with his own lesson evaporating instantly.

“Thank you for cheering me up after everything.” She looked up at him and sighed softly before looking away. “I am bummed out about my theory being potentially invalid, but it wasn’t like there was any way to test it anyway. Not really.”

Gaster looked like he was going to say something, but hesitated.

She frowned slightly, eyebrows pinching together. “What?” “Your theory… is that monsters other than skeletons can sense text magic to some degree?” “Yeah,” she sighed once more, “But like I said, there’s no way to test it.”

“I have more to say on that,” he signed hesitantly, “but you are exhausted and I should return to work. May I come by later? No. Tomorrow. That would be better. Or whenever is convenient.”

Asteri blinked, a little confused, but nodded. “Of course. Tomorrow is fine. You’re welcome anytime, just so you know. That goes for Alphys as well. You can always come by, you don’t need an invitation.” “Thank you. I will see you tomorrow evening, then.” “Sure. And, uh, hey.” She smiled sideways and stood on her toes. “Thank you again, Gaster.” His smile loosened from being so uneasy, and he bent to meet her, letting their foreheads tap together. “It was no trouble. I am glad you called me.”

Nobody else she knew was familiar with colored magic like him (or could analyze it so quickly, come to think of it— he had said he didn’t know much about purple magic, and yet??) so of course she had called him. Still, she understood the sentiment behind his words: when she was in distress, she trusted him enough to turn to him for help. Indeed, how quickly they had moved on from that initial reluctance to reach out to each other. In less than a year they had grown close enough to speak so frankly with each other, to share awful things from their pasts, to see less-than-ideal sides of each other, and to have this, such casual touch.

Asteri’s eyes crinkled. “I’m glad I called you too.”

“Get some rest, my friend.”

“You too! And be safe.”

He nodded, there was a split second of blue, a microsecond of heaviness, a sound she could only think to describe as ‘doodly doodly’, and he was gone. Just like that. She blinked. That was still bizarre to witness.

She turned and went inside. That entire experience was exhausting, so she felt justified in having a bowl of ice cream instead of a meal. She needed to text her friends an apology, one that she was now more confident they would accept, but first she needed a nap.

_ _ _ _

OKAY SO UH. Tumblr said all of part 8 was too long, so this is 8.1, and 8.2 is getting edited next. So have this, and in an hour or two the next part will be up!! This also saves me from writing out the apology to her friends that I forgot to add. But listen. They have been through so much crap together. Kelinn and Sembie are gonna be a little upset, yeah, definitely, but this isn't the first time Asteri one of them has blown up at the other two. It's never fun, but none of them are the type to hold grudges, really, and they all have their own things that set them off. They're really good about communicating. What will happen here is that Asteri will text them and apologize (they probably tried to apologize after she blew up, actually, but she muted the conversation), and they'll talk about why she got upset, and she will tell them that what they said made her feel like they were discrediting her work. And then they'll discuss how to avoid this sort of thing in the future. That's how it's always gone for them. She won't bring up Gaster, or the purple magic, because she isn't about to admit she called the royal scientist and then had a meltdown in front of him. (also it would probably require explaining teleporting, which she isn't going to do.)

ANYWAY. Yeah so. Asteri's got some very internalized issues. BUT TECHNICALLY THIS CHAPTER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT GASTER WHOOPS. More of him in 8.2. So in the meantime I hope you enjoyed Asteri's emotional trainwreck and Gaster's incredible damage control.

Oh also, he wasn't actually angry at her, when she was being difficult. He was a little frustrated, obviously, but not genuinely angry. That was just what Asteri assumed because she was having A Whole Thing.

Ah, one last thing. Kelinn’s repeatedly calling certain things “hot” and then clarifying “in an ace way,” is indeed a reference to the irl friend I borrowed parts of her personality from.

OK IM OFF TO WORK ON FORMATTING PART 8.2 I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT ANYONE HAS ON THIS!! (seriously you could give me a play by play of your thoughts while reading this and I would be freaking over the moon about it)

[skeleboiii84]

Sweeter than you look🍯

(Hero stretch X villain reader prt. 3 The.. Date..?)

You growled at the sight on your phone... It was Saturday.. Time went quicker than you wanted it to. You couldn't believe you were about to do this, it would be your first date in 5 years. five years ago you were dating a guy called Jake, he was your partner in crime your other half your best friend.. And.. Your lover. Well that was until he was shot dead by those stupid guards.

Whatever it's not like you cared all that much it was five years ago. Anyway you put on a pair of black jeans with a chain belt and a tight black v-neck crop top with noodle strings keeping it up. As well as your trusty trech coat that went down to about calf level.

You started walking to the coffee shop when you felt like you were being watched.? You shrugged it off as I'm probably just paranoid. But as you kept walking the feeling grew. You choose to ignore it until you got to the coffee shop you saw stretch inside on his phone and as soon as you put your hand on the handle.. "GOTCHA! ", Some guy was putting a cloth with stuff on it against your mouth while another held your arms behind your back.

"MNMMPH!!", You tried to scream, kick, push anything you felt yourself get tired weaker when all of a sudden you heard- " HEY! ", the two men scurried off without a moments hesitation. You looked up at who it was to see stretch but he looked different one eye was blazing with an orange light and the other completely normal.

"You alright Y/N? ", stretch asked worried. You looked at him for a second as the light in his eye disappeared. " yeah I'm ok", you said with a slight snarl. He sighed softly with relief "that's good I'm glad" he said with his usual goofy ass smile. But this time you kinda just let out a sigh and a small smirk.

"Was that a smile~" he teased pointing at your face. "Get your finger outta my face before I bite it off" you growled. "Haha! Alright alright, hey let's head inside".

You rolled your eyes as he opened the door for you. Hours had past and it was getting dark. You were both laughing at Reddit memes of this dumb clown called Andrew Tate (yes, yes I went there fight me) on stretches phone. "Hahahaha! What a stupid cunt!", you laughed " haha! Yeah check this one out!!", stretch snickered as he gave you his phone.

But your laughter was interrupted as a spider monster approached "alright you two it's closing time so either go home or get out" she smiled. "Yeah no problem muff" stretch said still giggling a little.

"Hey we could take this back to my place? If you want", stretch asked, you looked at him and let out a sigh "sure why not", you said. With that you teleported to his house.

"Soooo", he started, " if you're gonna get me to watch jaws with you, in your wet dreams shark boy", you said sarcastically. He chuckled "nah, I wanna watch something you want to watch", he said with a smile. " hmmmm" you thought for a moment before you picked one! "how about IT? " he looked at you with a glint in his eye socket.

"Sure thing just don't fall asleep on me", he winked over his shoulder causing you to roll your eyes once again.

It had been a few hours and you must've fell asleep because you were at you house. You were so confused was it all a dream? No it couldn't be it felt so real. You opened your phone to find a new message.

----------------------------------------------------------

Stretch

Last seen: 12:54

----------------------------------------------------------

Heya sleeping beauty you'll probably be awake when you see this but you fell asleep back at mine so I teleported ya back to your place instead of waking you up, I had a great night with ya. 12:50

Goodnight Y/N get a good rest x❤ 12:54

---------------------------------------------------------

Wait- did he? No he didn't- did he?? Send you a heart?? You had to pinch yourself once or twice to make sure you weren't dreaming. You felt your cheeks heat up a little bit only a little bit, you smiled and decided to reply to him.

----------------------------------------------------------

Stretch

Last seen: 12:54

----------------------------------------------------------

Heh thanks dumbass but call

Me sleeping beauty again and I'll

Kill you x 9:08

We should do it again sometime shark lover❤ x 9:08

----------------------------------------------------------

You smiled slightly maybe this could be something worth your time? You put your phone down to get ready for a casual day. But you were wrong..

Chtp.4

The runaway traitor.

Find chpt. 2 on my page

[taegularities]

Hey Ridd!! Sorry for the rant in advance..!!

I haaatteee ir when Tumblr loses my asks 😭😭😭😭 2 of my asks sent to you have literally just disappeared.

You knew about the first going amiss, which was pretty much Love, warmth and Hugs for you as well as sooooooo much Love for our CMI couple and adoration for SBW and all that it encompasses. My hope and prayers that whatever is in store for the CMI couple, may everything for them come to pass in such a way that they face everything *together* and not apart 🥲

The other ask was sent right after I completed reading CMI Seven. (This is an unedited snip of it since I was adding my comments to the notepad to send them all together in an ask. This is what remains saved on my NP - No edits and all the jk gifs I searched up gone amiss)

Will you still give me a Goodnight's kiss or..?

Here, my hearteu cracked a little

Press the lightest kiss against.

.. and then broke

The puffy cheeks, the youthful pout, the big, big eyes flashing to the ground. Unsure what to say, unsure what you're thinking of him

Mhm.. My big girl?

I'm in a puddle!! 🫠🫠🫠

My feisty little girl.

Aaaaaeeeekk!!!!! This Lovee 🥰🥰🥰

A big hand waves in tiny

🥺 Baby Koo..

I'm already more than halfway through.. I don't want this to endd!! 😭😭

Where's the focus on the Underwear? You can barely see it. Are people plotting against you?

The panic setting in! She's spiralling. I'M Spiralling!!

And then I totally lost myself in the story... !

This was totally worth the wait Rid! So Much Love, albeit veiled for sometime, but present nonetheless. They deserve the world 💓💓

But now I can't wait for CMI10!! 🤍🤍

PS: Seems like my ask is one amongst those that disappeared just like that. I had sent it lil bit before your hiatus. Just a bit of Positivity, concern and Love for yu. 🤍Ah no worries, I'd be sending many more of those for yu regardless. Although, now I'm gonna go off to see if there's a way to find sent asks and resend them! 😂

Much Love n Hugs 🤍🤍

Again, sorry for the Loooonnnggg as msg!! 🤍🤍🤍

HEY!! never apologise for long messages!! im slow with asks sometimes, but i genuinely love reading long, elaborate ones!! first off, tumblr is cruel for swallowing your messages, i definitely didn't get the second one :') but i did receive the first and it was the sweetest thing ever, it truly means a lot to me that you've been enjoying this series so much. like i literally saw you reading through it on wp and loved all you had to say :')

also so grateful you read cmi9.5 so fast 🥺 not wanting it to end is one of the biggest compliment ever. fret not though, i've been working on the next main chapter and am hoping to have it out v soon!! im very scared, like i truly hope it'll be worth the wait, too. seriously, thank you for all your support. here's to tumblr behaving next time and letting your asks go through!! drop by literally anytime 🥺🤍

[montyxtrike]

sorry. i disappeared again. i dont even know what has happened the past couple days. ever since summer break started, and its literally only been a week, ive completely lost my flow. i've only worked out once, ive only been on one run and it wasnt even a good one. ive been eating like total shit, im like actually closer to my max weight then ive been in my life, which is kinda scary to think. ive actually never weighed this much, anyways, thats not my biggest point here. i feel like im slipping. my mood is getting worse. my temper is shit. i cant sleep. i dont have any motivation. it just feels like im treading water. i feel like i might relapse, i wont tho, cause its summer. but i cant help but long for the fall/winter time, when i can relapse in peace. i can do everything i want to do. i can crawl up in my bed and sit in depression every day after school. i can cvt (idk if that word i censored so i used a "v" instead of a "u"). i can smoke. i can drink. i can loose all my muscle up to the point that my back and legs start hurting from walking for a couple minutes again. i could go back in my psycological hole, if i wanted to. i do want to. i know it would ruin everything though, so i dont "want" to, but i really want to. its so comfortable in my "hole". anyways. idk whats going on really.

anyways goodnight

[kamyru]

E. Prompts from some of my favorite songs Pt. 2

I made the part 1 a while ago and liked it a lot. Though, now I have a lot of new songs that I want to share with you. So, here's the new list with new songs.

As a reminder, I write about Her Love in the Force, Romance MD: Always on Call, Irresistible Mistakes, Tokyo Love Hustle, and Oops! I Said Yes?!. Send me your requests, please. I’ll be happily waiting.

I wanna cry, I wanna learn to love, but all my tears have been used up on another love. (Another Love - Tom Odell)

I like that you're broken, broken like me.

I like that you're lonely, lonely like me. I could be lonely with you.

Think I could love you, but I'm not sure. (broken - lovelytheband)

Do I try too hard to make you smile?

If you're sleeping are you're dreaming? If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?

I can't believe you actually picked me. (Calling you - Blue October)

You're just too good to be true.

But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it's real. (Can't take my eyes off you - Frankie Valli)

When you're lost in your doubt, and your fears get loud, and you don't know where to go, just look to your heart. I'll be your North Star. (Compass - SafetySuit)

Don't worry I'll be fine. The story is just beginning. (Diamond eyes - Shinedown)

This could be the day I die for you. (Die for you - Valorant, Grabbitz)

Inside I'm a mess but I don't let it show.

I smile all day and cry through the night. Won't someone please save my life? (Dull knives - Imagine Dragons)

So are you happy now? Finally happy now? (eight - IU, ft. Suga)

It only takes two lonely people to fuck love up and make it evil.

It only takes a drop of evil to fuck up two beautiful people.

Love is evil. (E. V. O. L - MARINA)

Just let me know I'm not forgotten out here alone. (Far from home - Sam Tinnesz)

Did you get enough love, my little dove? Why do you cry?

And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best. Though it never felt right. (Fourth of July - Sufjan Stevens)

I dream of you almost every night. Hopefully I won't wake up this time. (Freaks - Surf Curse)

It's dark, it's cold if my hand is not the one you're meant to hold.

Maybe you'd be happier with someone else. Maybe loving me's the reason you can't love yourself.

Before I turn your heart into a ghost town show me everything we built so I can tear it all down.

You know I'll stay don't you tempt me. (Ghost town - Benson Boone)

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"? 'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy.

Got ample mental illness personality flaws while their only flaw seems to be is that they have none at all. (God must hate me - Catie Turner)

I can't fathom why we say goodnight when we mean to say goodbye. (Goodnight & Goodbye - Mree)

Maybe if I leave tonight, I won't come back.

You've got to love and adore and the rest is a lie.

I said it before, I won't say it again: love is a game to you. Let's not pretend.

Come with me and we will run away.

Can nobody hear me? I've got a lot that's on my mind. (Hear me - Imagine Dragons)

I'd let you win my heart again. (I'd let you win - Ports)

Help me, I'm scared. 'Cause the one thing on my mind is for me to disappear.

When I leave, I know that we don't speak, I'm sorry that I failed you, but you meant the world to me. (if depression gets the best of me - Zevia)

I don't want to spend another moment without you again.

It's you I can't replace.

Don't tell me that we're hopeless. I can learn from my mistakes. (If I were - Nothing More)

I've moved further than I thought I could. But I missed you more than I thought I would.

I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. (I found - Amber Run)

I hope you're happy, even if you're not mine.

I remember when the world was ours to take. I remember you next to me. I remember you with every breath I take. You'll always have a piece of me. I remember, yeah.

I remember how we tried and we tried. I remember everything.

Try to remember that I hope you're happy. (I hope you're happy - Blue October)

I know I'll be alright. But I'm not tonight.

I'll be lying awake counting all the mistakes I've made, replaying fights.

How the hell did I lose a friend I never had? (I lost a friend - FINNEAS)

I'm lonely, lost in pain.

You're not a monster, just a human, and you made a few mistakes. It's alright, it's okay.

You're not a demon, there's a reason you're behaving that way.

I'm alright, I'm okay. I'm not a monster, I'm a human, and I made a few mistakes. (It's alright - Mother Mother)

I'm jealous of the rain that falls upon your skin. It's closer than my hands have been.

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me.

I'm jealous of the nights that I don't spend with you. I'm wondering who you lay next to.

I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive. But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery. (Jealous - Labrinth)

If you've lost your way, I will leave the light on. (Leave a light on - Tom Walker)

I think of you less and less.

We drift apart but It's the right way through. (Less and less - Matt Maltese)

Take my heart and please don't break it. (L-O-V-E - Nat "King" Cole)

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you're with 'em?

Baby, please come back, it wasn't you. Baby, it was me.

Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?

Next time? There won't be no next time.

I apologize, even though I know it's lies.

I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. (Love the way you lie - Eminem ft. Rihanna)

What if I never let you in, and now you're with somebody who did? (Maybe my soulmate died - imnotshane)

You said I take too much space. Now I know what you meant when you said it.

One thing I like about me is that I'm nothing like you and I never will be.

You're not telling the truth, no, you're just being mean.

I'm glad you're working through all your issues. Projecting on me will never be the way to fix you. (MEAN! - Madeline The Person)

You better meet me at the top, at the top of the world. (Meet me at the top - UNSECRET)

Please don't ruin this for me! Please don't make it harder than it already is! I'm trying to get over this.

I wish that you would stay in my memories. But you show up today, just to ruin things.

I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized.

I can't be your friend, can't be your lover, can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love with somebody other than me. (Memories - Conan Gray)

Can I wish on a star for another life?

I'm findin' it hard to love myself. (My life - Imagine Dragons)

Are you falling in love? I've a feeling you are.

Are you falling in love or only feeling you are? (A new kind of love - Frou Frou)

And loving is hard, it don't always work. You just try your best not to get hurt.

Sometimes it's better to let someone go. (Older - Sasha Alex Sloan)

I know that one day I'll be that one thing that makes you happy. (One day - Imagine Dragons)

I like her 'cause she's so much smarter than me.

Someday, I'll be falling without caution. (People watching - Conan Gray)

Just please don't say you love me, cause I might not say it back. Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that. (Please don't say you love me - Gabrielle Alpin)

Go ahead and slap me if it makes you happy. Use and abuse me 'til I'm gone.

Someone find me, someone save me because I feel like I'm fucking dying. (Punching bag - Palaye Royale)

If you're obsessed with your yesterday then you're destined to repeat it.

And I know it's not your fault, it never is, is it? (Sorry about your parents - Icon for Hire)

I might've been too perfect. Put up with your bullshit for a little bit too long. Now you're having trouble moving on. (Sorry to your next ex - Hyden)

I knew you would leave me, but I didn't think you could do it so easily.

I never should have said "I love you". You never said it back. (A soulmate who wasn't meant to be - Jess Benko)

You thought that I would die without you. But I'm living. (Survivor - Zebrahead)

I get excited, I get depressed. I'm never happy with how I'm dressed.

Nobody thinks I'm special yet. (Time comes in roses - Bess Atwell)

You become my best friend. I want to love you but I don't know if I can. (X&Y - Coldplay)

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one. 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone. (Youth - Daughter)

[babyboibucky]

Welcome to Bee’s Sin City!

❣️ I don’t do tag lists but if you would like to be updated, please follow and turn on post notifs for my side blog @babyboibuckywrites​ where I just reblog my new fics. 🥰

❣️ I mainly write for Bucky Barnes, Marc Spector, Steven Grant and Jake Lockley but would occasionally write for other characters as well.

❣️ I do not accept requests but feel free to drop some headcanons or drabbles in my ask! I tend to turn them into full-length fics if the ideas are right up my alley.

❣️ Please DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE, OR TRANSLATE my works on any platform with or without my permission.

❣️ Find my fic-related tagging system HERE. This is to help everyone avoid spoilers about my works, especially when I’m on a roll reblogging reacts and responding to asks.

🔞 I write a lot of smut and I am horny on main so obviously, this is an 18+ blog. MINORS NOT ALLOWED!

CHALLENGES, SLEEPOVERS, etc.

KINKTOBER SLUT FEST

3K AU CHALLENGE

TUMBLRVERSARY ONE-LINERS

FIC RECS

SERIES

Chapters are individually rated

COMPLETE

The Match

[CEO!Bucky x Reader] You come across your boss’ Tinder profile.

Devil’s Mark

[Dark!Rockstar!Bucky x Reader] You accept a temp job as a runner for a rockstar’s concert.

—

ONGOING

Project V

[College!Bucky x Reader] You ask your best friend Bucky a favor of a lifetime.

Breaking Waves

[Surfer!Bucky x Reader] You go on a summer vacation that will change your entire life.

Flutter

[Destroyer!Chris x Reader] Chris liked pushing your buttons to see how an innocent one like you would react.

Don’t Be A Stranger

[Bucky x Reader x Marc Spector] Your rough night takes an interesting turn when you meet an old friend and a stranger.

ONE-SHOTS/MINI-SERIES

Those marked with an asterisk are NSFW

BUCKY BARNES

Obvious

You and Bucky are more than friends but less than lovers.

Do It Again*

In which Bucky makes you squirt for the first time.

Elevate Thy Hate

Not a day goes by that you and Bucky don’t argue.

Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best

Bucky disappeared and came back only to say goodbye.

Promises, promises

You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Charm || Charming

Bucky checks whether he still has his 1940′s charm

Salt, Sugar and Viruses

You’ve been secretly making coffee for Bucky at the office.

White Noise

Bucky has a new neighbor and she’s even grumpier than him.

All Yours*

Bucky threatens Zemo right in front of you.

Easy Love*

Bucky helps you cope with a terrible day with his love.

Greedy*

Bucky wants to try something new with you.

Featherlight

Bucky is blinded by his insecurities and fails to see how in love you are with him.

Coming Home

Bucky is finally home.

Nasty*

You discover that Bucky, a black shirt and a wrist watch is a dangerous combination.

Kiss Me Goodnight

Your anxiety has nothing against Bucky and his warm embrace.

Angel on Her Knees*

You give Bucky the TLC he deserves.

Our Space

You and Bucky move into your new home.

Birthday Tiara*

You weren’t enjoying your birthday until Bucky comes along.

Like Nicotine

You and Bucky broke up but he keeps on crawling back to you.

Pretty Boy*

You’ve been away for two days and Bucky broke your only rule.

Don’t You Worry (Your Pretty Little Head)

You agree to spend twelve hours with Bucky whom you just met.

Those Days*

You find it hard to love yourself sometimes.

Blue Hour

You don’t care for sunrises or sunsets.

Make or Break

You have a specific set of rules when it comes to your casual relationships.

What Daddy Wants*

You want to swim but Bucky wants to do something else.

Unfair

You experience what it’s like to fall in love with Bucky.

Rum and Coke*

You decide to pay your rival club a visit to see what the hype is all about.

Anger That Loves

You help Bucky understand his anger.

The L Word

You love Bucky but not enough to commit.

At Your Service*

Bucky missed you. A whole lot.

Like This* || Like That*

Bucky shows you how he wants it done.

After All

Bucky used to hate a lot of things.

Lucid* || Grounded

You find it hard to move on from Bucky after the break-up.

Checkmate* || Two Kings and a Queen*

Bucky convinces you that you’ve been serving the wrong king the entire time.

Tomorrow’s Alright

Sometimes all you need is someone to tell you that everything will be okay.

To Be Loved

What is it like to love Bucky Barnes?

—

MARC SPECTOR/STEVEN GRANT/JAKE LOCKLEY

Bad Knight, Good Knight*

Give Marc a certain look and he’ll give you his all. In the condition that you’re gonna be good.

Heartsease

Steven provides you solace in a world full of chaos.

First Time’s A Charm*

Steven’s about to lose his virginity to you.

An Avatar For An Avatar*

You and Marc are both Khonshu’s avatars.

Tag Team*

Marc teaches you a lesson about control with the help of Steven and Jake.

What You Want*

Marc doesn’t like the idea of sharing you. Not even with Steven.

La Douleur Exquise*

The exquisite, heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.

—

LLOYD HANSEN

Collateral*

Lloyd has taken you hostage.

In Heat*

You’re absolutely desperate for Lloyd Hansen.

—

OTHER CHARACTERS

Should’ve Known Better* - Endings Beginnings!Frank

You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Kinda Like It When You Lie* - Destroyer!Chris

You discover the reason why Chris has been lying to you about his whereabouts.

Take What You Need* - Frank Castle

You let Frank use you to his advantage.

[thefuckinsandes]

His Blossom

Pairing: Oberyn Martell x female!reader, slight Ellaria Sand x female!reader

Warnings: 18+ content, p in v, oral (male and female), slight lactation kink, slight breeding kink, alcohol, just pure smut, Oberyn deserves his own warning tag cause omg,

Word Count: 4305, I had a lot to say lmaoooo

A/N: I started writing this after binge watching Game of Thrones a while back. Oberyn deserves so much, so I thought to give him the life that the deserves. Who knows, if you all like this, maybe I'll make it into a series. Let me know! And as always, wrap it before you tap it!

The moment that you had first laid eyes on the Red Viper of Dorne, you knew that life was never going to be the same. Prince Oberyn Martell was the vision that every woman and man desired: tall, strong, and handsome with a lithe figure. The epitome of beauty.

The first time you saw him was within the library of the Water Gardens. You were searching for a book when you felt a presence near. A quick glance and there he was, fully concentrated on the parchment that was in front of him. You gasped at the mere sight of him and accidentally dropped the book in your hand. Before he turned to look at you, you grabbed the book and fled, not noticing the eyes that followed you.

The second time you saw him, you were making your way back to your quarters after spending the majority of the day in the library with some of the children of the household. His Sand Snakes, they proudly proclaimed as they spoke so lovingly about their father and mother. You quickly bid him a goodnight before rushing past him, red-faced and nervous. He stood there, watching you disappear into the dark before he returned back to his own quarters.

The third time you saw him was when you were comforting his youngest daughter, Loreza, after she had accidentally broken a vase. He quickly made his way towards the two of you and kneeled beside you.

“Loreza, my sweet, are you hurt?”

You knew that he adored his daughters with his life. He’d do anything for them. After the young child reassured him that she was fine and that you had cared for her, he turned to face you.

“Thank you, my lady,” he tells you before taking your hand and lifting you up from the ground. “I owe you a debt of gratitude.”

“There is no need, my prince. I was merely doing what a caretaker would do for her wards,” you responded back as you gently placed your hand on Loreza’s head, making the child giggle.

“Caretaker?”

Your eyes remained on the little one before you, nerves beginning to form as you spoke, “Ah yes, Prince Doran requested that I watch over all the children while here in the Water Gardens. Lady Ellaria knew of this, so I had made the assumption that you did as well.”

“Thank you for providing such love and care to my girls,” his eyes glowed as he spoke. “You will always be under the care of House Martell. Anything you wish, I shall grant, my blossom.”

What he did then made your eyes snap towards him. He took your hand and placed a gentle kiss on your palm. A blush began to rise on your cheeks.

“May we go play now?” Loreza asked, snapping your attention back to the child.

“Of course, sweet one. Thank you, my-”

“Oberyn.”

“Thank you, Oberyn,” his name flowed from your lips.

Oberyn grinned as he watched you walk away with his daughter. He then felt arms wrap around his torso. A kiss is placed on his cheek.

“She’s lovely, isn’t she?” Ellaria whispers as she watches you leave.

“She is very beautiful as well,” his eyes never left your form as he watched you disappear around the corner of the hall.

Over the next few weeks, life has begun to change for you in the Martell household. More than often you found yourself conversing more with Oberyn. And not just him. Ellaria has been more present as well. You always felt their welcoming embrace and they provided nothing but warmth and comfort.

Anytime Oberyn was with you, he called you his blossom. You had asked him why he dubbed you “blossom” and his response was simple: you reminded him of the blossoms that bloomed on the blood orange trees in Dorne: beautiful, delicate, and sweet smelling. Soon enough, Ellaria had begun using the nickname as well.

You were watching the children swim late one afternoon and Ellaria is there with you. She tells you grand stories of her travels with Oberyn and about her life before she had met that man that she loves. She has your attention word for word.

“Have you ever laid with a man before?” She suddenly asks you.

You choke on the wine before clearing your throat, “Yes. With a young baker and a smith a few years ago.”

“And what about a woman?”

You nod, “Just once. She was the baker’s sister.”

“No! You jest!” Ellaria laughs before taking a sip of her wine.

“It’s true!” You laugh, “She heard us fucking one night and the next morning she walks up to me and tells me that she knew my orgasm was fake. We laughed about it all day and when it was time for me to leave, she gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. She purposely made sure her brother heard.”

You both laughed loudly. This was nice. Ellaria was becoming that friend who you could open up to. She poured more wine to your glass when a shadow loomed over you both.

“And what are we laughing about,” Oberyn stands tall above you both. His smile. That smile made you weak.

“Just lady things,” Ellaria winks at you.

A heavy blush appears on your face as you quickly reach for your cup. Before you are able to grab it, Oberyn’s large hand takes it from the table and he takes a hearty gulp. He smirks as he hands you the cup, but it falters for a second when he sees you drink from the exact spot he had.

“It’s delicious, isn’t it.” The wine has made you bolder. Daring.

He licks his lips as he sees some of the wine drip from the corner of your mouth. His thumb reaches for it and swipes it across your lips before he licks his thumb.

“Absolutely.”

Oh how you craved him. Ellaria is staring at you, enjoying the effect that Oberyn has over you. She sees the way your body reacts to him. How your soul reaches for him. It’s exactly how she felt the moment she first met him. And she can feel Oberyn projecting that same energy. The thought of that brings a smile to her face.

“My love, leave us be. Go swim with our darlings,” Ellaria shooed him away.

He laughs and agrees to leave the two of you alone before kissing her. To your surprise, he leans over and kisses you on the cheek. You watch him remove his clothes and shoes, only keeping his bottoms on before he jumps into the water where his daughters begin to scream in delight.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he,” Ellaria whispers into your ear, causing you to shiver. You stutter, unable to form words as you watch her smile and wink at you. “Don’t worry, it’ll be our little secret.”

“Yes, he is,” you whisper back before taking a large gulp of wine, practically finishing off the cup.

“You know,” Ellaria starts as she refills your cup, “he talks about you.”

“Me?”

“About how caring you are towards the children, how beautiful you are, and,” she leans closer. Her lips are touching your ear now, “how he wishes to fuck you until you are screaming him name.”

You shudder as she bites your earlobe. How is it that her words cause you to fluster so quickly?

“Ellaria, please,” you gasp as you close your eyes.

“Look,” she grabs your chin and turns your head towards the pool in front of you both.

There you see Oberyn staring intently at the two of you. His eyes turned dark as he watched the way Ellaria moves closer towards your body. You feel her move her hands from your chin down to your neck.

“You see how deep his eyes are. He craves you. He burns for you.”

“But, are you both not?”

She chuckles, “I am both his love and his paramour. That doesn’t mean he can’t love just one person.”

You gasped as soon as the word love left her lips. He loves you? Why?

“He isn’t the only one,” she nips at your ear, catching your attention. “I myself have come to love you too.”

Ellaria’s hand is suddenly on your knee. It begins to wander higher towards the apex of your thighs. You shiver at the way her fingers gently create patterns. You slowly begin to widen your legs, welcoming her touch, when you suddenly hear Ellaria’s name being shouted.

Her hand moves away from your body while a gasp escapes your lips. Oberyn’s eyes are darker than before. The crease in his brows became deeper. His chest glittering with water droplets as his breaths are much heavier. You only hear Ellaria laugh besides you. Your eyes have been captured by the deep brown pools that belong to Oberyn.

“I’m sorry, my blossom. But it seems that our dear prince got a little jealous over the attention that I am giving you,” you can hear her teasing tone. She leans over and whispers into your ear, “He wishes to see you tonight. Will you let him in?”

“I will,” you whisper as if you were reciting a blessing to the Gods.

“Be ready, my blossom,” she kisses your cheek and makes her leave. You stare at her before turning your gaze towards Oberyn. He’s playing with two of the young ones, lifting them in the air and laughing with them. Love? You smile as you listen to the glees of them all. Yes, you were indeed in love with him.

Later that night you sat by the window reading a book. The moonlight was providing enough light to not need a candle by you. The wine besides you was forgotten as you continued turning the pages. A knock was then heard, causing you to pause and place a marker to keep your place on your book.

He’s here.

You brush the invisible dirt from your dress as you make your way towards your door. Taking a deep breath in, you grab the handle of the door and open it. There he stands in his golden yellow robes and a gentle smile on his lips.

“Good evening. May I enter, my blossom?”

“Yes, of course,” you move to open the door more, allowing his lithe figure to enter the room. He takes a few steps in before he turns to face you.

“A blossom, for my blossom,” Oberyn hands you the beautiful flower.

“Thank you,” you smile, smelling the flower. You enter deeper into the room, guiding him towards the center of it. “Would you like some wine, my prince?”

“How many times must I tell you, my blossom, to call me by my name?” you can hear his smile as he accepts the glass from you. “I love hearing you say it.”

“Oberyn,” you say his name. You move to gently place the blossom by the book you were reading.

He places his glass back on the table and makes his way towards you, grabbing your hand and lifting it close to his face. He begins to press gentle kisses on your palm and wrist, “Say it again.”

“Oberyn,” you whisper as he presses his body closer against yours.

“Again,” he gently drops your hand and instead cups your face, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Oberyn.”

His lips press against yours the moment his name leaves your lips. The taste of himself and wine flourish in your mouth as you feel his lips hungrily attack yours. Breathless sighs escape you and he devours them. Your hands make their way up his chest and towards his neck and you feel how fast his heart is racing. How it is beating so fast for you. Your senses are quickly being overpowered by him.

You both break apart, breathing heavily. His eyes are dark, blown with passion. Yours must be looking the same. You take his hands and bring it to your lips, repeating the same action he has done to you. Only this time you take his thumb, the same one from earlier that day, and lick the pad of it. Your eyes focused on his own.

“Oh, my blossom,” he groans before pressing it more into your mouth. You revel at the taste of him as you begin to suck his thumb, tasting both him and the ring he wore. He pulls his thumb out of your mouth and let’s it linger against your lips before his lips reach for yours again.

His tongue pushes through your lips and nothing but moans are heard from the both of you. He begins to guide you towards the bed all while he is beginning to disrobe himself.

“Allow me,” your hands begin to remove the golden silk that envelopes him. As each layer is removed off his body, you begin your explorations. Seeing him in the water was a sight. Seeing him in front of you, chest heaving as you place soft kisses against his neck is otherworldly. Your lips begin to trail downwards. Nips against his clavicle; licks over his nipples. You slowly worship him.

As soon as you reached his bottoms, your eyes seeked his own. Nothing but love and lust filled his eyes as he breathed heavily. You descended down onto your knees, eyes remained on his, as you pulled down the last piece of clothes. His cock was freed from their confines and you moaned at the sight of him. He was gorgeous and you fully understood the cocky behavior he exuberated every so often.

Licking your lips, you looked up at Oberyn and with a soft sigh, you asked, “May I?”

“Please, my sweet blossom,” Oberyn’s hand began to tread lightly against your hair, guiding you where he needed you the most.

You pressed a sweet kiss against his hip bone before tasting him. The moan that he had released as soon as your tongue pressed against his tip was the most exotic sound you’ve ever heard. He tasted better than the sweetest of wines you’ve ever had. You move towards the base of his length and before he could even whisper a word, you flatten your tongue against the vein of him and slowly lick your way back up.

“Blossom, please,” he moans with such need.

You widen your lips and you take all of him into your mouth. The taste of him has your mind spinning. You knew that after tonight, there would be no other man that would ever compare to Oberyn. But the thing was, there would be no other man after tonight. It would be just him. Always him. The moment you began to bob your head back and forth, his voice grew louder. You wanted him to sing.

You hollow your cheeks as you continued to suck him. You wanted to try and take more of him, to feel him twitch inside of your wet mouth. Your eyes looked up into his own and you moaned against his length. His mouth was wide open as his chest heaved with pleasure. The moonlight made him glow. He truly was beautiful.

Oberyn sang praises as you continued worshipping his length. His hands tightened around your hair and he guided you to go faster. As you followed his pace, your hands made their way up his thighs and began to massage his balls. With a single push, his length reached your throat and you moaned at the feeling.

“My love, if you keep doing that, I will not last,” he groaned at the sensations. He pulled you off of his length, but you continued with your hands.

“But I want more,” you licked his tip, tasting the precum that leaked from him.

Oberyn pulled you off from the ground, standing even taller than before. His eyes bore into your own before his mouth reached for yours. Nothing but tongues clashing against one another and when he pulled away, his eyes showed all the promises he’d give you.

“There will be more later. I need to taste you, my love. I need you,” he gently placed his hands on your shoulders, pulling down the straps that held your dress against your body until it pooled around your feet.

As soon as your skin presented itself, Oberyn’s lips followed. His lips first reached your neck as he placed sweet pecks against the skin. He reached the conjuncture of your neck and shoulder and he bit the tender flesh. A whine escaped you. It was all he needed to hear to guide you onto the bed. His nude body towering over your own. His lips continued to trail down your body. His lips wrapped around one of your nipples while his hand pinched the other.

“I can’t wait to see these filled with milk one day,” he groans at your taste, his fingers beginning their descent towards your wet core. “One day you’ll bless me with more beautiful children. You would make the perfect mother.”

You cried out as soon as his fingers began to circle at your bud, “Yes! Oberyn, please.”

His lips left your nipple as he pulled back to watch you come undone by his fingers, “Will you be mine? Be my paramour? Be the mother to my future children?”

“O-Oberyn!” You closed your eyes, lost in the pleasure that his long fingers provided.

He kissed your lips, “Open your eyes for me, my love. Please let me see you.”

Who were you to deny him? Your eyes pierced his own as you gave him more and more of your moans.

“Please, be mine.”

“Yes!”

Bliss. That’s all you felt as your orgasm flowed all over your body. You felt as if there was nothing in the world: just Oberyn and you. Oberyn took advantage of your blissed out state and made his way down to your wet core. He placed a kiss on the inside of your thigh before he flattened his tongue and began to feast upon you.

“Oberyn!” Your body shook as you felt his tongue lap the juices that flowed. Your hands went straight to his hair, gripping it tightly as you began to grind yourself against his face. His nose hit beautifully against your nub. You wanted more.

“Calm yourself, my love,” Oberyn chuckled as he licked his lips, fingers still running up and down your slit. “Or do I have to tie you down?”

That didn’t sound like a bad idea that all, you thought with a moan. Oberyn grinned and made his promise before returning to his ministrations. His large hands held you down as he ate you with much fervor. Your cries grew louder and louder as he proceeded to insert his fingers into your wet cavern.

“Can you give me one more, my love,” he moaned as watched the way your cunt took his fingers.

You nodded your head with such enthusiasm. Your hands went to grasp your breasts, moaning at the sensations of Oberyn’s fingers and tongue on you. You were close. Hearing the sounds that he was making, you pinched and rolled your nipples. Silent pleas escaped your lips as you felt the oncoming storm. One of your hands returned back to grip Oberyn’s hair. With a flick of his wrist and his tongue on your nub, he had you screaming as another orgasm erupted from you.

Oberyn moaned as he slurped up the juices from your cunt. The taste of you had him wanting more. Oh he was not going to let you go. You quivered as he took one last lick and pulled him towards you, wanting to taste yourself as you kissed his lips.

“Oberyn, I need you,” you whined, biting his bottom lip.

He moaned as he made himself comfortable between your legs. Taking his cock in hand, he used your sweet juices to lubricate himself and tease you before inserting the head of him in, slowly making his way until he was fully sheathed.

“Fuck, my love. You’re so tight,” his nose flared as he felt you clenched around him.

You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer to you, wanting to feel him against you. A whine fell from your lips when you felt him pull out before snapping his hips against your own, bottoming out. He placed his head against the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking.

“More,” you cried at the sensation. You felt so full. Complete.

Oberyn kissed your neck once more before he began pounding into you. You asked for more and he delivered. Filthy sounds floated around the room as he fucked you with a passion. Your pants were heard as were the sounds of skin slapping against one another. It was sinful.

“That’s it, my love,” Oberyn lifted your leg, allowing himself to enter you deeper. “You take me so well. You were made for me.”

Your moans grew louder as the pace of his hips went faster. Your nails raked down his back, surely leaving marks as pleasure flowed through your body. Oberyn grinded against your core before pulling out of you.

“No,” you cried at the loss of him inside you.

“Oh don’t you worry, my blossom,” Oberyn grinned wickedly at you as he sat on his knees. He grabbed your arms and pulled you up towards him, placing a bruising kiss on your lips. He bit your lip and pulled away. “Get on your knees.”

You did as you were told and you felt his hands caress your back before slapping your ass. You cried in delight at the pain you felt from his hand. Oberyn gripped your ass and bent down, licking up your wet slit and bit your ass cheek.

“Next time,” he promises to himself before sliding his length back into your cunt.

Holding onto your hips, Oberyn did not hold back. He pounded harshly into you, moaning at the feeling of you clenching his cock.

“I love your perfect cunt,” he groaned as he slapped your ass again. “I want to fill you over and over. Do you want that, my love? Are you going to be mine?”

“Yes! Oberyn I am yours,” you trembled as you gripped the sheets, trying to hold yourself up against the force of his thrusts.

Oberyn grabbed your arms and pulled you up against him, your back against his chest as he kept fucking you harder and harder. His hand went straight to your breast, gripping you tightly as he pounded into you.

“My love, I need you to cum for me,” he panted against your ear. “I need to feel you cum all over me.”

“Oberyn!”

His hand left your breast and made its way down to your clit. His fingers began to create patterns that left you crying out. Him thrusting and rubbing you was going to be your downfall. You were so close.

“I feel you, my love. Cum for me. Let me feel you,” he groaned and bit harshly against your neck.

You cried his name out as you gushed all over his cock. Your body shook as he continued fucking you as you came all over him. Oberyn cried out, your cunt choking his cock as his thrusts began to falter. His hand returned back to your breast to hold himself steady.

“My love, cum for me,” you cried out as you placed your hand on his face and pulled him into a breathtaking kiss.

He moaned against your lips and with a final thrust, he came hard inside of you. You can feel him pulsing inside of you as ropes of his come filled you. You both pulled away from the kiss and breathed heavily against one another. Oberyn traced your nose with his before reaching for your lips again. A gentle kiss was interchanged before he pulled out of you slowly, moaning at the loss of your heat.

He carefully laid you back down onto the bed and he placed a quick kiss before he stood up. You closed your eyes and calmed your breathing. He returned, cleaning you up before he laid down besides you, wrapping you up and against his chest.

“How are you feeling, my blossom?” Oberyn plays with a strand of your hair, a smile on his face.

“Perfect,” you kiss his lips.

“Do you know how perfect you look in the moonlight? Like a goddess.”

“Oberyn,” you blush, hiding your neck.

He laughs, pulling you back to face him, “Don’t hide from me, my love.”

Oberyn grabs your hand and places sweet kisses against the palm of it. You intertwine your fingers, loving the way how his large hand looks with yours.

“Oberyn”

“Yes, my blossom?”

You face him and place your other hand against his cheek, “I love you and I would happily be yours. Will you be mine?”

Oberyn lips reach for yours, “Always, my love. I will always love you, even in the next life and on. I promise I’ll cherish every moment with you.”

You sigh happily. Your life felt complete. Well almost.

The door to your room opened and with the light of the moon, Ellaria’s figure was seen. She made her way towards the bed and sat down at the edge of it.

“Good evening, my loves. My blossom, did we enjoy ourselves?” Ellaria grins as her hand reaches for your ankle, trailing her finger up and down.

“We did,” you looked at Oberyn and kissed him before turning to look at her. “Will you join us?”

Ellaria stood from the bed and removed her dress, “I’d love to.”

[mattsunnn]

Title : Mind-Numbing

Character/s : Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma

Warning/s : Threesome, Dom!Tetsu, Switch!Kenma, Sub!Reader, orgasm denial, cum play, degradation, dumbification, breeding kink, mating press, blow job, throat bulge (is that a term? Y’all get it anyways hehs), usage of toys (one time), Daddy Kink. Just these two nekoma boys using you, basically. Established Relationship.

a/n : I am late. I am v v late.

Kuroo knows it is his birthday, and that gives him the “birthright” for his special day. He just wants to share you with Kenma. Who are you really to refuse?

and... he also might want to coax his bestfriend to join this... cute little relationship?????

This will be the best birthday for him.

“You look like a desperate whore.” You whined under the predator like gaze Kuroo has on you, legs twitching uncontrollably as the vibrator inside you was put into maximum. The tall male smirked above you, playing with the small controller on his hand as Kenma pushed his body near your head, his cock in full display infront of you. He slapped your puffy lips with the head of his member, looking up to Kuroo when you opened your mouth so willingly.

“Can I?” He nonchalantly asked, looking back down at your opened mouth to watch his precum smearing over the pink muscle like paint on a canvas.

Kuroo hummed, pulling you to the edge of the bed as your head dangled from the lack of mattress. He motioned for Kenma to stand infront of you before slapping your clit to gain your attention. “You’ll suck him off like the good little slut you are, right?”

You eagerly nodded, mouth immediately opening as your tongue rolled out. Kenma groaned at the heavenly view before thrusting his hips a little, only pushing the head in, making you suck harshly and using your tongue to tease the slit. Kuroo grinned as he watched the two of you, Kenma letting out grunts caused by the tightness provided by your mouth while you gave your outmost attention to his cock.

The raven haired man looked down once he noticed you twitching and trembling. He smirked before turning off the vibrator and yanking them out of your hole, successfully snatching away your orgasm. You whined and inhaled sharply, cunt clenching and unclenching around nothing as Kuroo watched in amusement. “Look at your pussy. It’s begging to be filled. I bet you want another cock to stuff you full.”

Kenma huffed when you rubbed your thighs together in response to your ebony-haired boyfriend’ dirty talk, “She wants your cock too, Tetsu.” He pressed a hand down to your throat and another one to the side of your head before thrusting his hips forward to the hilt, the tip of his member going in so deep, you tried not to choke and gag. “Tetsu, look.” He detached his hand from your skin, pulling back before pushing back in sharply. Kuroo grunted in reply, watching how your throat moved and bulged whenever Kenma moved inside your mouth.

“That’s hot. Who knows this slut can suck like a good girl?” Kuroo tormented before aligning his large member to your core, he rubbed the head to your glistening heat before going up and circling you puffy clit. “You want my cock inside you, don’t you? You want both of your holes filled with dicks. You’re such a whore.”

Before you can even answer with whatever you can, he suddenly bottomed out inside you. You choked on Kenma’s cock as your cunt spasms around his thick girth at the sudden intrusion and stretch. Kuroo took in a sharp breath, rolling his hips in a slow pace as he let you adjust for a moment before pulling out and leaving the tip in then shoving his cock back deep inside.

Kenma pulled away after like a million years to let you breath. You take in the air desperately before cursing when Kuroo pushed himself even deeper than before, you can feel the tip kissing the entrance of your cervix, wanting to potrude and evade. Your eyes widened when he brought your legs up, pressing them down to your body as your cunt was in full sight, still connected with him. You let out a wail when he completely rammed himself into you, repeatedly snapping his hips with vigor that had you rolling your eyes to the back of your head.

“Who told you to stop sucking Kenma?” Kuroo tsked before planting his palm on your lower abdomen, grinning when he felt himself. He looked back up at you, your hazy eyes and opened mouth expression sent a shiver down to his spine, loving how fucked up you look right now. “Answer me, Kitten.”

“No-No one! M’ sorry, Daddy!” You cried out as your body bounced alongside Kuroo’s thrust. He was completely and consistently hitting your special spot, making you clench your eyes and at the pleasurable jolts you received.

Kenma shrugged his shoulders at the display before grasping your neck and snappily turning your head to face him, “We’re not finished yet.” You opened your mouth in response, eyes clenching shut when he sheathed himself in one go. He stayed there for awhile, opting for you to swallow around his length as you breathed in through your nose.

Kenma patted your cheek, making you open your eyes and hum around his cock, indicating him that he has your attention. “I’ll fuck your mouth now, slut.” You whimpered, about to nod your head when he already started moving pugnaciously. It has your hands clenching on his thighs as you forced your mouth to stay open for the male to abuse.

“So rough, Kenma. Our baby’s trembling.”

That you are. Your legs are twitching and shaking, your core was even more wet now, making a white, translucent circle around the base of Kuroo’s cock. You couldn’t even think anymore because of the two cocks fucking you out of your mind, you could only obey and receive what they give to you.

Kuroo noticed that unfocused look your eyes gave off despite being covered by Kenma’s body, half-lidded and a dark mist filtering the colors. He smiled while still ravaging your pussy with his cock, a hand going down to your waist to give small, comforting circles. “Kitten’s gone dumb?”

You whined around Kenma’s cock, tears are already forming in your eyes as he continued to thrust into your mouth in an even more fastening pace, him groaning out a “cummin-!” as his head was thrown back, his long blonde hair sticking to his cheeks with his eyes closed before he finally stilled inside you, thinck spurts of cum painted your insides white ad you swallowed them all.

He sighed, slowly pulling out his now soft cock with a loud pop. He stared at your figure, lips gone red and eyes watery as your chesg heaved up and down from exhaustion. He crouched down on the ground, placing you head on his shoulders as he rubbed his palm softly on your throat, massaging and giving you light kisses on the side of your head.

Kuroo cooed at you, “Can you still take my cock, our dumb kitten?”

You nodded shakily, keening when Tetsurou had started moving again. You didn’t even notice that he stopped when Kenma had reached his orgasm. The pudding head gave you marks on your neck and shoulder blade, loving how the red and purple suited your skin. He looked up to his bestfriend, his hand slithering down your stomach and to your clit that had you wailing, “Don’t you think this stupid baby girl deserves to finally cum?”

“Do I?”

You whined, legs kicking and body squirming, desperate to cum after having it snatched away by your wodnerful boyfriend. “Please! Daddy! I want to cum! Make me cum, please.” It was the only thing on your mind by now, having been fucked so good and still was.

Kuroo chuckled, leaning down and placing a sloppy kiss to your lips, “Anything for our dumb, dumb, little Kitten.”

You screamed when Kenma has started to run harsh circles on your clit, his other hand groping your breast and tweaking your hard nipples. Kuroo has already started to ram his cock in and out of your cunt with a fastening pace, hard thrusts that has his tip rubbing against your g-spot and touching your cervix repeatedly.

It was really mind-numbing.

You noticed the familiar coil in your stomach, forming and churning as Kuroo’s cock abuses your cunt. His actions has started to get faster and sloppy, indicating that he too is reaching his peak. You gasped, “M’ cumming!”

“Me too, pretty girl.”

Kenma watched as your face contorted into a pleasurable one while letting out a whine, legs twitching uncontrollably as Kuroo stilled inside you, spilling his hot cum into your hole. You can feel how his member throbbed inside you, still painting your insides white. Kuroo slowly pulled out when he felt the tinge of overstimulation, watching in amazement as your pussy oozes out the excess cum he has given you. He huffed before using his fingers to push the liquid back into you, the squelching sounds surrounded the room and making your face go red in embarassment.

“You okay, Y/N?” Kenma asked, fingers massaging your scalp as you snuggled to his neck and responding with a small hum. The blonde looked up confused to his bestfriend, who is still busy watching your cunt but noticed the gaze nonetheless, and motioned to the sleepy face of yours.

“It’s alright. Baby’s first time having both of her holes filled so it has taken a lot of energy out of her.” Kuroo cooed, leaning down to kiss your lips, “Thank you and goodnight, baby girl. Love you.”

You lazily smiled, “Love you too, daddy. You too, Ken.” Slumber has now taken your being as Kenma smiled softly, pressing a small kiss to you cheeks before muttering a quiet, “I love you too.”

Kuroo smirked at your exchange, helping Kenma to properly place you on the bed. “You wanna join?”

Kenma stilled, eyebrows furrowing at the straight forward question. He turned his head to his bestfriend, staring at him weirdly before looking back at you. “Poly?”

“Hm. Wouldn’t mind sharing this pretty baby to someone I trust.” Kuroo answered before going to the bathroom to get a cloth and to clean you guys up.

Kenma sighed once his bestfriend’s back disappeared to the restroom. He leaned down and caressed your cheeks, gazing at you lovingly before shrugging. “Kay kay.”

Kuroo chuckled behind the door before turning the doorknob and throwing a spare cloth to the other male, “Next time, it’s you who’s gonna get fucked, baby boy.” Kenma squinted his eyes at him in suspicion.

Kuroo smirked, what a birthday.

You guys will never imagine on how many times I changed this one shot.

N e ways!!! Happy belated birthday to our dearest Daddy, Kuroo Tetsurou!!

I was planning on publishing this on the exact day of Kuroo’s bday but I wasn’t satisfied and changed it. Again and again :>

Oh my god the likes. I didn’t kno you guys love to be fucked numbed by these two boys🥺 THANK YOU SO MUCH HINUHUJUHU

Stay safe and stay hydrated!

[ming-yu-hao]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 4

Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.

This Chapter’s Tags: cheating obviously, some angst and fluff, public teasing, unprotected sex (oops), light degradation/impact play/begging, use of restraints, brief face sitting, shit just goes down in general just wait

Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!

A/N: hey... how y’all doing... yeah I disappeared... but I’m back! The past two months were a mess but I’m ready to come back now and I’m v excited. Pls accept this chapter as a token of my forgiveness </3 Feedback is appreciated as always :) AND THANK U FOR 100 FOLLOWERS!!! :D

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The ride home was quiet.

Jisoo had drank a little too much, and it was evident by the way she laid her head upon your shoulder and mumbled slurred gibberish against your skin.

You opted to ignore her drunken antics, and instead just wrapped your arm around her shoulder while training your eyes on the darkness outside the front window.

Only when Jisoo trudged over to her bed after taking off her makeup and changing her clothes did she seem to have sobered up. She sprawled across her mattress, her face pressed into the blankets, before she turned and gazed at you. You were laying on your own bed, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt as you stared up at the ceiling.

Finally, Jisoo spoke a coherent sentence.

"Where did you go?" She asked. "At the party," she added a moment later.

You hesitated for a second.

"Wonwoo called me so I went to the bathroom. And then we fought because he was pissed that I went to a party without telling him." You explained. It wasn't a lie; that was what happened, before Mingyu showed up of course.

Jisoo sat up quickly in her bed, crossing her legs like a child listening intently to a teacher. She placed a hand under her chin and narrowed her eyes at you.

"You fought..." She started but trailed off. "Is that why you went off with Mingyu?" She questioned.

You stopped toying with the fabric of your shirt, completely frozen in place at the accusation.

"What?" You responded, your mouth suddenly dry. You sat up in your own bed now, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Come on, I'm not stupid." Jisoo rolled her eyes. "I saw you and Mingyu going upstairs. And then a minute later some guy comes in screaming about how he found Mingyu and some girl fucking in the bathroom. It wasn't hard to put two and two together."

You were horrified. It felt as if a hard punch had been delivered to your gut and a million wasps stung your skin at once. You could barely catch your breath.

"Wha- Does everyone know?" You cried, not even attempting to cover up that you had sex with Mingyu; Jisoo had already figured it out, and there was no way you could ever convince her otherwise.

Jisoo shook her head. "No, I only knew cause I saw you with him. And I didn't say anything to anyone." She reassured you.

You didn't say anything else. Hell, you couldn't even think of anything to say. You threw yourself back against the bed, covering your face with your hands. Embarrassment ate away at you.

Jisoo watched you in your distressed state, and she almost felt inclined to apologize. She shook away the thought and asked: "What are you gonna do?"

You peeled your hands off your face and sighed. You felt like crying again. You hated it; you were so sick of crying.

"What am I supposed to do?" You responded. "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."

Jisoo chewed on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment. "Well... do you still wanna be with Wonwoo?"

"Yes," you said quickly. "I still love him. And I miss him a lot. But I just... things have been really bad lately."

Jisoo finally laid back down, mimicking you by staring at the ceiling. "You're gonna have to talk things out with him then. Be honest. Stop seeing Mingyu." She sighed. "That's what I would do."

You knew that Jisoo was right. But the thought of cutting off Mingyu left a sour taste in your mouth. You liked him a lot, as a person, and it felt unfair to just ditch him after the times he was there to comfort you.

But this was all so much more unfair to Wonwoo.

"Are you sure... that you wanna stay with Wonwoo?" Jisoo added in response to your silence.

Were you sure?

You said that you loved him: You loved the Wonwoo that took you to the cafe near campus and bought you your favorite latte; the Wonwoo that spent hours in bed with you binge-watching dumb cartoons; the Wonwoo that stayed up late with you on weekends to help you study for your exams.

He was still that same person. Things were just different now that you were far apart and couldn't be in each other's presence anymore.

Right?

Would the Wonwoo from a year ago have ignored your texts and angrily hung up on you?

How could this all possibly be to blame on some distance?

Jisoo took your silence as an answer and cleared her throat to regain your attention. She shifted onto her side to look at you, and you turned your head to meet her eyes.

"Look, I don't think you're a bad person, okay? I think you just made some mistakes." She said. "I know you care a lot about him, but long distance doesn't work for everyone."

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop them from watering.

"Just think about it, okay? I don't want you or other people getting hurt." Jisoo said. She rolled onto her other side, her back now facing you. "Goodnight. Don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight," you finally responded. Your voice was hoarse and weak.

You swallowed, and then reached for your phone.

You: that guy from the bathroom told everyone about you Sent at 12:48 AM

To your surprise, Mingyu responded quickly.

Mingyu: oh I know Sent at 12:48 AM

Mingyu: don't worry I already put him in his place Sent at 12:48 AM

You giggled quietly to yourself as you typed a response.

You: should I be scared for him? Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: nah he'll live Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: goodnight Y/N Sent at 12:49 AM

Mingyu: sweet dreams :) Sent at 12:50 AM

Just as you finished typing a reply, quiet vibrating sounded from Jisoo's side of the room.

She stirred in her light state of sleep, feeling around her bed and eventually pulling her phone out from under her pillow. "Hello?" She said, hints of tiredness evident in her voice.

You wondered who could possibly be calling her right now. You guessed it was Seungcheol, but once Jisoo shot up in her bed alarmingly fast you began to doubt yourself.

"What?" She cried. "Is he okay?"

You sat up yourself now, watching her with concern as she turned on the light and began rummaging through her closet.

"I'm leaving right now. No, I'll be fine. I'll text you." She said as she pulled a backpack out and began wildly shoving items into it.

"What? Where are you going? What's going on?" You questioned once she hung up.

"My dad's in the hospital. Had a stroke or a heart attack or something, I don't know." Jisoo rambled without looking at you. She ran over to the bathroom with her bag in hand. "I'm going home for a few days." She explained from the other room.

When she walked back into the room, her backpack was slung over her shoulders and her eyes were shiny with tears.

"I hope he's okay. Please be safe." You responded, though it just made you feel useless.

"Thank you," she said, looking at you with saddened eyes before turning towards the door. "I'll see you soon." She called over her shoulder before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

Then you were left alone, with nothing but the dark room and the thoughts that weighed on your conscience.

You found it difficult to fall asleep that night.

When you walked into class on Tuesday, Mingyu looked different.

His hair was pushed back in his signature style and he wore his usual plain shirt and jeans, but something about him was changed. His chest seemed to be lifted with a newfound confidence.

He gave you a small smile when you approached him, and you swore you noticed his eyes graze over your figure, but you sat down without saying anything. You adjusted your skirt as you settled into your seat and pulled out your phone.

You anxiously checked your notifications, waiting for Wonwoo's name to appear, but there was still no answer.

You finally had sent him a text this morning saying that you needed to talk to him. You had spent the past few days thinking about what Jisoo said, and it was difficult to admit, but she was right.

Now it was just a waiting game until Wonwoo was ready to talk.

A notification caused your phone to buzz, and you perked up as you thought it might be Wonwoo, but instead it was a text from Mingyu.

You glanced over at him with your brows furrowed, and he just stared ahead, biting his lip to suppress a smirk. You opened the message.

Mingyu: you look good Sent at 10:05 AM

Your skin flushed at the compliment, and you quickly typed a reply.

You: you couldn't have said that to me in person? Sent at 10:06 AM

His own phone vibrated against the desk with your response. He picked it up nonchalantly, huffing out a quiet laugh.

Mingyu: well the reason I didn't say it out loud Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: is cause I also wanted to say that I keep thinking about last weekend Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: when your thighs were shaking Sent at 10:06 AM

Mingyu: seeing you in that skirt reminded me of it Sent at 10:07 AM

You impulsively pressed your thighs together, your eyes widening and your lips flattening into a line as each message showed up on your screen.

You: you really think this is the time and place to be saying that? Sent at 10:07 AM

You: calm down you're acting like a douchey frat boy Sent at 10:07 AM

You smiled to yourself at your teasing reply, and you heard Mingyu quietly chuckle.

Mingyu: wowwwww Sent at 10:07 AM

Mingyu: don't act like you don't like it Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: I see you rubbing your thighs together over there Sent at 10:08 AM

You felt your face burn up as you realized he could see the effect he had on you. You didn't respond, letting him continue on.

Mingyu: I know you're a bad girl Y/N Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: you liked it when I spanked you Sent at 10:08 AM

Mingyu: bet you'd like it if I touched you here right now Sent at 10:09 AM

You clicked your phone off quickly, setting it down against the desk. Your face was red, and you cleared your throat, trying to focus as the professor finally entered the room.

You kept your gaze locked on the front of the room, but you could still see Mingyu shifting closer to you out of the corner of your eye.

Just as the professor began talking, fingers brushed against your thigh and began toying with the hem of your skirt. You swallowed thickly, cursing yourself for the growing arousal between your legs.

Mingyu turned his head slightly towards you. "Don't react," he whispered. He turned his attention back to the front of the room, but his hand remained on your thigh, now softly squeezing the flesh between his fingers.

You inhaled a shaky breath, nervously glancing around the room. Luckily, you and Mingyu sat at the edge of the back row; the only other people in your row sat further down and to the left of Mingyu. His body and the desk most likely concealed everything that he was doing to you, but you were still fearful of getting caught.

His hand trailed upwards, slipping underneath your skirt. His fingers pressed into your inner thigh and you bit your lip. He stared forward, his face blank, as if nothing was happening.

His hand brushed against your core, and you inhaled sharply. The corner of his lip quirked up at the sound. Then he pressed his fingers against your clit through the fabric of your underwear.

Your thighs squeezed shut around his hand instinctively, and Mingyu tsked quietly before pushing your legs apart again. He began rubbing slow circles through the fabric, your arousal soaking through. Your stomach was twisting into a tighter knot with each moment that passed.

Then Mingyu suddenly slipped his fingers beneath your underwear, pressing into your bare folds. You gasped quietly and quickly grabbed hold of his wrist.

"Stop," you muttered, your voice full of alarm. Mingyu pulled his hand away, and you clenched as you were left with nothing, but you let out a relieved sigh. You were panting quietly, and he glanced at you with worry in his eyes as he wiped his hand on his pants.

You pulled out your phone and quickly texted him.

You: we can't do that here Sent at 10:14 AM

Mingyu: I'm sorry Sent at 10:14 AM

You glanced at him, and he looked back at you. You nodded as if to say "it's okay" and chewed on your bottom lip as you contemplated sending your next message.

You: come over tonight Sent at 10:15 AM

Mingyu's tongue darted out to lick his lips and he turned his head towards you. His lips were upturned into a smirk as he gave you an affirming nod.

Time seemed to crawl during the rest of your classes for the day; you were anticipating Wonwoo's response and running over in your mind what you were planning on doing with Mingyu later.

As evening approached, a large hole formed in the pit in your stomach. Wonwoo still had yet to respond, which left a bitter taste in your mouth; you guessed he still wasn't done giving you the silent treatment.

You almost texted Mingyu a few times to tell him not to come over, but each time, you thought about his hand slipping beneath your skirt in class and erased your message.

You were only okay with this because Jisoo was still gone, but also, the thought of inviting a guy over to have sex while your roommate was visiting her dad in the hospital made you feel guilty. And gross. When did you become so desperate for some dick?

It was around 10 PM now, and you were pacing around your room while waiting for Mingyu to show up. You had changed out of your skirt, now wearing shorts and a crewneck instead.

A knock at the door startled you, and then your stomach dropped. You were really doing this again. You twisted the knob with hands that trembled softly and opened the door.

Mingyu stood on the other side, and you quickly observed his appearance as he stepped into the room. He also had changed his clothes from earlier. Now he was wearing sweatpants and a zip-up over a t-shirt that hugged his chest nicely. His hair was a bit messier, too.

"Hi," you exhaled.

Mingyu stood tall over you, making you feel small and nervous. You fidgeted with your hands as you stared up at him.

"Hey," he replied, licking his lips as he scanned your face.

You hesitated. "Um... do you wanna watch a movie or something?" Internally, you cursed yourself for being so stiff and awkward. But Mingyu's lips turned up into a small smirk and he agreed.

A moment later, his body laid next to yours on the bed while you picked out some random movie on Netflix. Once it started, the rapid beating of your heart didn't allow you to pay attention to the laptop screen; it was so intense you were afraid that Mingyu could feel it.

You were also hyperaware of the sensation of his body lying next to yours. The warmth of his body radiated onto you and the soft fabric of his clothing felt like a blanket against your bare skin.

"Are you even paying attention?" He asked suddenly, causing you jump slightly.

You cleared your throat. "Y-yeah."

"You seem so tense," he teased. He placed his hand on your thigh and lightly squeezed. You inhaled shakily, keeping your eyes on the screen. "Is something on your mind?"

"No," you gulped.

"Don't lie to me, Y/N." He said with a hushed voice into your ear. "I know what you invited me here for."

His face was so close that his nose was brushing against the side of your face while he spoke. Your stomach was in a tight knot now, and somehow your heart was beating even faster than before.

"You were so wet when I was touching you today." He continued to tease, lightly biting your ear. The hand that rested on your thigh moved up, his fingers brushing against your clit. "I knew you'd like that. You're dirty, aren't you?"

He pressed his fingers to your clit through your shorts as he asked the question. You whined softly, your hips jerking up at the stimulation. Finally, you turned your head towards him, pressing your lips to his in a rough kiss.

Mingyu bit at your bottom lip while he kissed you, and then pulled away after a moment to glance at the laptop that was still playing the movie. "You're not watching this, right?" He joked before shutting it and placing it on the floor.

He hovered over you now, his body caged between your legs, and went back to kissing you, this time with his tongue slipping past your lips. You moaned against his mouth softly as he pressed his warm body against yours.

He pulled away for a moment, making eye contact with you as he asked: "You sure you wanna do this?" He ran his hand down your side reassuringly as he awaited your reply. "We don't have to." He added before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

The sudden shift in his demeanor left you stunned for a moment; you quickly nodded before you could hesitate. "Yes, Mingyu." The hands that rested on the back of his neck pulled him closer to you, connecting your lips once again.

His hands began to tug the bottom of your shirt up, and the feeling of his fingers brushing against your stomach left small goosebumps across your skin.

Soon, clothes were discarded about the room, leaving you in only your bra and underwear and Mingyu in his sweats. His bare chest pressed against yours as he sucked and nibbled on the skin of your neck. You let out a soft moan, not even caring about the bruises that would later appear.

Mingyu lifted his face from your neck suddenly, mumbling against your cheek with a small smile on his face: "Can I try something with you?"

You stared at him, eyes wide with curiosity, and he grinned. His eyes seemed to flash with something that resembled insecurity before he finally admitted: "I wanna tie your hands."

You felt a gush of arousal between your legs at the thought—the thought of being teased with the inability to touch his skin. You nodded in approval. The corner of his lip twitched up at your receptiveness, and he glanced over his shoulder before grabbing one of your belts off the floor.

He secured it around your wrists before pushing them above your head, and just as he was about to continue leaving kisses across your body, you spoke. "Mingyu?"

His eyes widened as they rapidly scanned your face for signs of discomfort. "Do you not like it? Should I take it off?"

You snickered at how worried he was before asking: "Can you make it tighter?"

Relief flooded over Mingyu, and then he chuckled softly in disbelief. "Anything for you, sweets," he joked while adjusting the restraints around your wrists. You laughed, and the previous anxiety left your body.

Your wrists were bound tighter now, giving Mingyu full control, and his hands squeezed your waist as he placed a kiss on your chest. "I can't believe you," he said. "Acting so innocent when you're really a little whore for me."

His vulgar words shocked you, but you couldn't deny the other effects they had. You whined quietly, desperately raising your hips to meet his. Mingyu pushed your hips back down against the bed, and then one of his hands reached up to grope your chest.

He left wet kisses and bites across your body as he made his way from your neck to your hips, discarding the last of your clothing and leaving you bare beneath him. His jaw dropped a bit as he pulled your underwear down your legs, revealing the arousal that had built up. "So fucking wet," he observed in awe.

He began to kiss and suck on the skin of your inner thighs, avoiding the place where you needed him most. You wanted to reach down and tug at his hair, but the belt around your wrists prevented the action.

You groaned as you tried pushing your body closer to Mingyu's. "Please, Gyu." You begged. Mingyu glanced up at you from between your thighs with a smirk plastered on his face once he saw how desperate you looked.

"Is this what you want?" He asked as he dragged his fingers through your folds, coating them in your arousal. He rubbed your clit in tight circles and your legs twitched in response.

"More," you said in between moans. You were already sweating and red in the face out of desperation; you could feel your hair sticking to your forehead.

Mingyu stopped his movements, but his hand remained pressed to your clit, and it throbbed beneath his touch. "What else do you want?" He teased. Your eyes were squeezed shut, but you could clearly imagine the cocky, satisfied expression on his face right now. "Tell me," he pleaded.

He suddenly resumed his ministrations, this time at a faster pace, which made your stomach twist. You cried out, unable to form any words. "Come on, Y/N. Use your words."

He brought his hand down to your pussy in a rough slap. The sensation caused your entire body to jolt and you let out a whimper in surprise. Mingyu buried his face in your neck before whispering into your ear: "Beg for it."

Finally, you caved, and you arched your back as you moaned, "Please, Gyu. Please fuck me."

A devilish yet satisfied grin settled across his face as he pulled away from you. "Good girl." He quickly said as his hands found their way to the waistband of his sweatpants. You glanced down, seeing the way his cock strained against the fabric. You wanted to reach out and feel him, but all you could do was lie there helplessly as he undressed himself. He lowered his pants further down his hips until he suddenly stopped.

"Do you have condoms?" He questioned, his lips pursing in thought.

You shook your head. "No. Why would I have them?" Realization slowly began to dawn on you. "You didn't for-"

"Fuck," Mingyu groaned while running his palms over his face. "I forgot."

Disappointment settled over you, but the lust you were feeling for him remained. You ran over various thoughts in your mind as you observed his conflicted expression.

Mingyu's arms dropped to his sides. "It's okay," he reassured. "We can do something else." He looked up at you, his previous lust-filled expression returning as he caressed your thighs. "Have you ever sat on anyone's face before?" He suggested.

The thought enticed you—the image of Mingyu between your thighs always made your stomach twist—but ultimately you knew you needed to feel him inside you.

"Just fuck me anyways." You blurted out. Mingyu's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

"What?" He cried.

"I'm on the pill," you quickly explained. "You can just... pull out or whatever." Heat rushed to your cheeks; you had become so desperate for him.

You weren't sure what you were doing. Deep down, you knew it was a terrible idea, but you were being controlled by lust—the same lust and desire that made you tell him you wanted to kiss him a few nights ago.

Mingyu's lips were still parted in shock as he scanned your face. "Really?" He didn't see a single hint of hesitation on your visage.

"If that's what you want..." he trailed off. You saw a look of desire return to his eyes as he observed your bare body. Finally, he pushed his pants down his hips and leaned over you again.

His forearms rested on either side of your head, trapping you beneath him as he slipped his tongue into your mouth once again.

He reached down and grabbed hold of his hardened cock, guiding it through the folds of your pussy. Your jaw hung open and a deep moan escaped your throat at the pleasure. "You're gonna be the death of me, I swear." Mingyu mumbled into your ear in response to your moans.

He coated himself in your arousal as he continued to rub his cock against you, his tip nudging your clit and teasing you with the smallest bit of relief. He buried his face in your neck as he finally pushed himself into you.

A loud moan fell from his lips at the feeling. This was so much different from last time. It felt warm and soft and bare. Every sensation felt amplified; the stimulation was so intense.

"Holy shit," you gasped. You felt it too.

Mingyu's hips stuttered as he bottomed out inside you. "You feel so fucking good," he groaned. His words mixed with his hot breath against your throat made your entire body burn up. Mingyu slowly pulled himself out of you, and your back arched as his cock rubbed against your walls before he pushed into you again roughly.

Your chest rose and fell quickly with each short breath you took while Mingyu set his pace of his hips slapping against yours. Your back was still arched, and your hips lifted up uncontrollably to meet his.

"F-fuck," you whined. Your arms tried to spread apart, but they were restricted by the belt again. There was a dull ache in your wrists, but it only added to the pleasurable mix of sensations you were feeling right now.

His hands were squeezing your waist tight, to the point where you thought there might be marks there later. He thrusted into you quickly, desperately trying to reach his high. You opened your eyes to watch his euphoric expression: his head was tilted back, his lips parted, and eyes fluttered shut.

He let out a particularly loud moan and his eyes met yours. A small smile found its way to his lips before his eyes grazed down until they reached your chest. He watched the way your breasts bounced with each movement, and the sight nearly made his eyes roll back into his head.

"You gonna come?" He choked out as he saw the pleasure on your face. You moaned in response, unable to speak. He leaned over you and wrapped his hand around your throat. He stopped for a moment, before roughly pushing into you, his hips slapping against yours.

Finally, he brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing it in tight circles as he continued to thrust into you. The knot in your stomach burned and tightened. You clenched around him, which caused him to choke out a moan.

The pressure in your stomach reached its breaking point. Your body was washed over with a feeling of euphoria as your thighs shook uncontrollably. You could barely hear yourself when you let out a loud cry.

Your moans, the euphoric look on your face, and the feeling of you clenching around him all led to the snap of pleasure in Mingyu's core. He gasped as he struggled to pull himself out of you. "Fuck, I'm coming."

Hot ropes of cum painted across your stomach. Mingyu's chest rose and fell with his pants and moans as he watched the substance cover your body.

"Fuck," he whispered in awe once his orgasm faded away and he admired the mess he left on you.

Just as you were trying to catch your breath and relax your arms, they were stopped by the belt again. "Are you gonna take this off me now?" You asked.

Mingyu chuckled. "I guess so." He finally undid the loop and threw the belt to the floor. You sighed in relief. Mingyu quickly noticed the red marks on your wrists and caressed the irritated skin. "Oh, no. You could've told me it was hurting you." He frowned.

"No, it's fine. I-I liked it." You admitted sheepishly. Luckily, your cheeks were still red from before, so it hid the embarrassed flush of your skin. It was true, though. You never did these types of things before, and you certainly never thought pleasure and pain could go together, but you now that you had experienced it, you were enjoying it all too much.

Mingyu shook his head in disbelief, a smile spreading across his lips as he stared at you. You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his softly.

After a moment, Mingyu pushed you back slightly. "You, uh, probably don't wanna get that on your bed." He pointed to the cum on your stomach. You glanced down. You had almost forgotten it was there.

"Yeah, you're probably right." You laughed. Mingyu reached over for a tissue to wipe it off. The two of you cleaned up, and soon you were lying next to him on the bed again, with him back in his sweats and you with an oversized shirt on.

You faced each other, but your head was curled up against his chest, listening to the quiet sound of his heart beating beneath his ribs.

"You don't seem sad this time." He said. His chest vibrated beneath you as he spoke. You pulled away to look at him with your brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. All the other times we've done this you just seem sad after. But this time you don't." He noted.

You shrugged. "You seem different too. More cocky, I guess."

Mingyu pushed you playfully. "Shut up," he snickered.

"No, seriously!" You exclaimed with a laugh. "You were so awkward like a week ago and then today you pulled that stupid stunt in class!" You playfully smacked him back in the chest.

"Okay, yeah. You're right." Mingyu smiled, and then he sighed. "I guess I'm just... getting used to this."

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, both thinking of the same thing.

Mingyu rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Which I really shouldn't be," he continued. You chewed on your lip as you pondered what to say.

"I'm breaking up with him."

Saying it out loud made realization hit you like a ton of bricks. But you weren't upset anymore. You would miss all those trips to the coffee shop and weekends in bed from over the past two years, but they had already come to an end the moment you packed up and moved away. At this point, he had become someone you used to know—someone you were holding on to when maybe you should have let go a long time ago.

Mingyu was quiet for a moment. "Wow," he finally spoke. "That's probably for the best. You didn't seem happy."

"Yeah..." you trailed off. An awkward silence started to settle, so you cleared your throat and quickly changed subjects. "So, I haven't heard much about this frat you're in."

Mingyu chuckled softly, turning towards you again. "What do you wanna know?" His hands idly reached for yours, fidgeting with and rubbing circles on the back of your hand.

You thought for a second. "Hmm, I guess... who are the other guys besides you, Cheol, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and bathroom guy?"

Mingyu let out a loud laugh. "Oh, God. Bathroom guy is Soonyoung. I swear, he's the smartest yet stupidest person you'll ever meet." He paused, his face contorted in thought. "Then there's Josh..."

You slowly stirred awake, scrunching your face once you realized the light was still on and about to blind you the second you opened your eyes. You peeked open an eye, glancing around your room for the clock. It was almost 4 AM. You sighed, groggily trying to sit up and recollect what you were doing before you fell asleep, but an arm was weighing you down.

You glanced over your shoulder, and were taken back in surprise for a second when you saw Mingyu lying next to you. The two of you must have dozed off at some point without realizing, and now he was pressed up against you from behind with his arm draped over your waist. He was sleeping deeply, with his lips slightly parted and cheeks puffed out.

You peeled his arm off you slowly, careful not to wake him as you slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. You observed yourself in the fluorescent lighting. Thankfully, your hair wasn't too messy, but your makeup was still on and smudged around your eyes. Something about it almost made you feel hungover.

You spent a few minutes cleaning yourself up before staring at your reflection. If it wasn't already awkward enough that you and Mingyu accidentally fell asleep together, now he would see you bare-faced and groggy with sleep when he woke up. Sure, you two had sex a couple times, but somehow sleeping together was a thousand times more intimate.

You tiptoed out of the bathroom, slowly shutting the door so it didn't make any noise. You lay back down in bed stiffly, pressing yourself right against the edge to avoid Mingyu's grasp.

Just as you finished turning off the light and settling back into bed, Mingyu's arm reached forward and rested across your waist again.

"What time is it?" He muttered, his voice raspy with sleep. You jumped at the sudden noise.

"Oh, um, it's 4:02." You answered.

Mingyu pushed himself up onto his forearm and rubbed his eyes. "Like, in the morning?" He asked. You told him yes and his eyes widened. "Woah, sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He yawned.

He fully sat up now, running his hands through his messy hair. He turned to you, just barely able to see you in the dark. "I can go, if you want."

Oh, God. Even though this situation was an awkward mess, there was no way you could make him go home now.

"I'm not kicking you out in the middle of the night. What kind of terrible person do you think I am?" You responded, to which Mingyu laughed under his breath. "It's only a few more hours."

"Okay," Mingyu said as he lay on his back again. He rolled onto his side, his back towards you. You sat in silence before Mingyu added, "Thanks for not kicking me out."

You chuckled quietly, allowing your eyes to flutter shut and waiting for sleep to overtake you again.

The next time you woke up, sunlight shone in your eyes. With your eyes squinted shut, you rolled over, expecting to bump into Mingyu, but were greeted with empty sheets instead.

Your eyes shot open as you felt around the bed and realized that Mingyu was nowhere to be found. You couldn't help feeling disappointed. Even though you were dreading having to face him in the morning, the fact that he left without saying a word stung.

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. "Oh, you're awake," a low voice called. Mingyu stood in the doorway, still shirtless and his hair a little tousled.

You smiled. "I thought you left."

"Nope, still here," he replied. He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at you. His dark eyes looked like they held a certain warmth in them. "I've never seen someone look so nice after waking up," he said.

Your face burned up instantly. "Stop," you cried sheepishly, burying your face in your hands. You didn't even want to imagine what you looked like right now.

Mingyu grabbed your wrists and pulled them away from your face. "No, really!" He exclaimed while you wrestled back with him. "Your hair isn't even messy and your skin looks so clear," he said in between laughs.

"What are you trying to do, Mingyu?" You cried.

"Just take the compliment and say thanks!" He responded.

You stopped fighting back, letting him hold your wrists while you stared at him with a pout. "Fine," you grumbled. "Thank you."

A satisfied grin settled across his lips, and suddenly you noticed how close he was to you. "You're welcome," he said, his face only a few inches from yours.

You watched as his eyes dragged down to your lips and your breath nearly caught in your throat. He inched forward until his lips met yours. The kiss was soft and slow, until he pushed you back against the bed and pinned your wrists by the side of your head. He slipped his tongue past your lips and you moaned quietly against his mouth.

"You know what I said last night about you sitting on my face?" Mingyu pulled away to say, staring down at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.

You felt arousal growing between your legs as you nodded rapidly. Mingyu let go of your wrists to lie on his back instead. Your hands trembled a bit as you reached to pull your underwear down your thighs.

"Your phone keeps going off," Mingyu said.

"Huh?" You didn't even hear it because you were too focused on the knot you felt in your stomach. You recollected yourself and shook your head. "Just ignore it. It's probably Jisoo or something."

"Hurry up," he teased, lightly smacking your thigh. You were straddling his waist.

"I am! I'm just nervous." You replied, trying to ignore the heat that was rushing to your cheeks. "I don't wanna accidentally kill you."

Mingyu rolled his eyes. "Oh, shush. I wouldn't wanna die any other way." You hovered above his face, hesitating each time you tried to lower yourself. Finally, Mingyu grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you down. You instantly moaned at the feeling of his warm tongue flicking against your clit.

"H-holy shit," you moaned breathlessly. He held onto your thighs tightly, not allowing you to move. Your legs began to twitch at the stimulation and your hips rocked involuntarily.

Mingyu pulled away, and you thought for a second that he was trying to tease you before he groaned: "Oh, my god. Who keeps calling you?" He shoved his hand under your pillow and pulled out your phone, squinting at the screen as he read.

"Who's Wonwoo?"

Your heart dropped right into the pit of your stomach. It felt like someone had punched you in the gut and you were unable to catch your breath.

"Are you kidding?" You cried. Mingyu had never seen your eyes so wide before. He turned the phone around to show you. Sure enough, Wonwoo's name was on the screen.

"Is that your boyfrie-" he started, but you interrupted by jerking the phone out of his hand.

"Don't say anything," you ordered. You hit answer and brought the phone up to your ear with a shaky hand.

"Hey," you said, trying to conceal the quiver in your voice.

"Hey," Wonwoo replied. Hearing his voice again made your throat tighten.

"I'm on campus. Can we please talk?"

[crystalessenceswrites]

Hi Again! I was wondering if you wrote for the clones? (I'm thirsting for Wolffe!!) If not, that's ok! And if so, I thought maybe something fluffy and a bit hot with Wolffe? I'm a huge sucker for the trope- Reader tries to hide that she hasn't been feeling well and turns out she's pregnant? With twins! She's scared because even though they're committed, it wasn't planned? And then fluff and some love making?? <3333

Hi lovely, welcome back! I am open to writing for the clones, I just haven’t done so yet! I too thirst for Commander Wolffe so you’re in luck! This trope is def very cute, the end turned out more fluffy than spicy, I hope that's alright.

Commander Wolffe x fem!reader Rating: E (18+) Warnings: explicit sexual content, unprotected p in v sex, unplanned pregnancy, swearing (first time writing for Wolffe, may be slightly ooc)

[PART TWO]

There was never enough time. You really should not have been surprised by the revelation, you were at war, but it still sat heavy on your chest. Always needed elsewhere as soon as you completed a mission. Never time to rest, even in transit. Someone always needed your attention for reports, strategic planning or council meetings as the GAR cruiser hurtled through hyperspace. It never left you enough time for him. Thankfully, the stubborn nature of your clone commander allowed him to make time, even if just a spare moment, for the two of you.

“Oh fuck,” you throw your head back against the door as he reaches that spot deep inside you. Pushing you ever closer to the edge. “Wolffe, please-” you’re whining as he grinds up into you, throbbing inside you. He’s always had the uncanny ability to read your body, he knows better than you when you’re close to bliss and he enjoys drawing it out. To think Commander Wolffe was a fucking tease.

“Please what, cyare?” His smug grin slides across your chest following the trail of marks he’s littered across your skin where no one will see. “What does ner jetii need?”

“Please, ‘m so close,” you tighten your legs around his waist, trying to draw him in closer, anything to reach your release, “please, Wolffe!”

He groans into your neck as you tug at the curls fallen loose at the nape of his neck, “well when you ask so nicely, cyare.”

His sudden thrust up pushes the air from your lungs. Your mouth falls open in a silent scream as he pounds into you, all teasing forgotten. He’s relentless as you tighten around him, the coil in your belly threatening to snap.

“That’s it,” he grunts, “come on my cock ner jetii.”

His words and his gloved thumb brushing over your bundle of nerves has you falling apart around him. White hot pleasure rolls over you, leaving you a limp, moaning mess in Wolffe’s arms.

“That’s it, mesh’la. Squeezing me so kriffing tight,” he groans, hips stuttering, his own release fast approaching. “Fuck.” Wolffe manages a few more thrusts before he buries himself in you, spilling himself inside you. Whispered praises fall from his lips as he comes down from his own high. His lips ghost over yours in a chaste kiss as he withdraws, tucking himself away before he lets you down.

Your legs cry out in relief when they meet solid ground, not longer clinging to Wolffe for support.

“Good, cyare?” his hand sweeps over your brow, so tender for a man with such a fierce reputation, even amongst his brothers.

“Mhmm,” leaning into his touch, he chuckles at your blissed out expression.

“Someone’s bound to come looking for you soon, General. Let’s get you cleaned up.” You don’t protest as he helps you redress, though you do moan about how unfair it was he just had to remove his codpiece and you had to strip completely out of your robes for these little storage closet rendezvous’.

“I don’t think jedi robes were designed to allow for easy access, cyare.”

You pout, “you’re probably right.” There was that whole bit about no attachments you were blatantly ignoring after all.

Before the commander can come back with another sharp retort your commlink blinks to life. “Yes?”

“General, General Plo is looking for you on the bridge.”

You sigh, “thank you, Sinker. I’ll be right there.”

Never enough time.

.

The next couple of months continue much the same. You and Wolffe sneaking away between missions when you can, trying to find solace in each other despite all the horrors you both see on the battlefield. In a war that seems to stretch on forever he is your rock. As he watches his brothers fall, one after the other, you are his comfort. It breaks your heart to be apart from him but there is little you can do to control it. When the council requests you to join Obi-wan and Anakin for a series of missions you cannot object. Instead, you drag your tired self out to the far reaches of the outer rim to help them as best you can.

“You look exhausted, my dear.” Such tact this one possessed.

You roll your eyes, “you don’t look much better, Kenobi.” Though you doubt he has been waking in the middle of the night to empty the contents of his stomach like you have for the past week.

“This war does seem to be pushing us all to our limits.”

“I’ll race you!” Ahsoka sprints by, apparently headed for some target or another with her master hot on her heels.

“Snips!”

Cody chuckles under his bucket, shaking his head as the two disappear into the distance.

Obi-Wan scrubs a hand over his face, “it’s pushed most of us to our limits.”

“What I wouldn’t give to have the energy of a padawan again,” you groan.

“I agree wholeheartedly,” Obi-wan nods, “we should all try to get some rest while we can. We need to break camp near dawn.”

You agree and bid your fellow jedi an early goodnight. With the headache you could feel coming on, sleep sounded like a good idea. As you go to stand the world spins around you, any sense of balance you had gone. You reach for the crate you had been sitting on to try and stay upright but you miss by a mile. Knees giving out you collapse to the floor, the world around you still spinning. You can barely hear Cody shouting over the ringing in your ears.

“Call for a medic! The General’s collapsed!”

.

By the time you regain consciousness you’re no longer planet side. Obi-wan had been quick to have you medevacked to the closest med-station for testing. The unholy white lights of the station burn your eyes when you finally come to. Your sudden groaning draws Kix back to your bedside.

“General. Good to see you’re back with us.”

“Kix?” You try to focus on the 501st medic instead of the bright lights, “what happened?”

“You collapsed back at the forward camp. We weren’t able to determine what was wrong with the limited medical supplies we had on hand, so General Kenobi called an air lift for you.”

Another groan bubbles up, Obi-wan had been forced to waster precious resources on you. “Were you able to find out what’s wrong?”

The clone’s face falls, “yes.”

You’ve never heard the medic sound so meek before. “Kix?”

“I’m not sure what’s the best way to explain this, General… but you’re pregnant.”

Oh.

Oh.

“H-how far along?”

“Looks like just over two months,” Kix shifts from foot to foot, pointedly not looking you in the eye. You can’t blame him for being uncomfortable, this isn’t quite the medicine he’d been expecting to practice. He was a combat medic not an obgyn. “We were able to get an ultrasound, would you like to see?”

Nodding, you sit up, your head now spinning for completely different reasons. Kix brings you a datapad displaying the grainy black and white image.

“Kix… am I seeing this right?”

“Yes, general.”

“There’s two…”

“Yes general. You’re having twins.”

Oh fuck.

.

Kix is a godsend, having worked with Anakin and Rex long enough to know reporting everything may not always be a good idea. The official report on your sudden collapse reads that you suffered from a foreign infection your body had not been prepared to fight, coupled with the battle fatigue, your body had shut down in order to force you to rest. Obi-wan and the council believe it, ordering you back to Coruscant to recover and rest. You knew you would have to tell them; it would not be long until you were showing, but you would much rather deal with the council in person than from your medbay bed.

Before your escort arrives, Kix slips you a disk with a copy of the ultrasound pictures, “in case there’s someone you want to show them to.”

“Thank you, Kix,” he blushes when you give him a quick peck on the cheek, “you’ve done more for me than you’ll ever know.”

You do your best to rest on your trip back to Coruscant but its incredibly difficult when your mind is going a parsec a minute. Besides the council there’s one other person you have to break the news to. While you two had talked about what life would be like for the two of you after the war, this was not something you had discussed. You were not sure if Wolffe wanted kids ever, let alone now. Having twins while the whole galaxy was at war was not ideal. Not when the two of you were expected to put your lives on the line for the Republic.

Panic washes over you when you arrive at the capital to find the wolfpack waiting for you on the tarmac. They’d just arrived back for some long overdue shore leave and Plo had informed them of your sudden illness. Normally you would be touched by how much they cared for you, but now all you can think about is how you are not ready to face Wolffe. Not yet.

You can feel his gaze heavy on your back as you field Sinker and Boost’s barrage of questions.

“I’ll be alright, I just need to take my medicine and get some rest. It shouldn’t be long before I’m right as rain again.” You hate lying to them, but you did not want them worrying unnecessarily either.

It seems to appease them; the pack wishes you well and invites you out to 79’s with them as soon as you’re recovered. Wolffe hangs back, watching his brothers go.

“I’ll walk you back, general.”

“No.” It comes out much harsher than you’d like. The surprise that washes over his face feels like a stab to your gut. “There’s no need, Commander. I’ll be alright.”

His voice drops, brow furrowed together, “cyare?”

“Not now, Wolffe,” you frown, “I just need to go lay down. We’ll talk later.”

But you don’t. You cannot find it in yourself to answer any of his calls or messages over the next few days. Instead, you wrap yourself up in as many blankets as possible and hole up in your quarters while you try to figure out what to do. You watch Coruscant go by from your window. It’s only when Sinker and Boost call that you’re freed from running around in circle inside your head.

“Boost? Sinker? What’s going on?”

“Oh thank goodness you’re alive, General!”

“Boost what are you going on about?”

“The Commanders been going crazy! He hasn’t heard from you in over a week and we don’t think he knows how to handle it!”

Although you and Wolffe did your best to keep your relationship hidden, in such tight quarters it was hard to keep it from Wolffe’s brothers. You’d never outright admitted it to them, but you figured they understood what was going on. You were glad for it now.

“I’ve seen him pace before, but never like this,” Sinker adds.

Oh Maker. “Where is he?”

“The barracks, General.”

“I… I’ll speak with him, alright? Hopefully that will calm him down.”

“Thank you, General! We were running out of ways to distract him!” That was the kind way of saying ways to annoy him to keep Wolffe’s mind off you.

“Thank you, Boost, Sinker.”

“Good luck, General!”

You were going to need it. This was not a conversation to have over the com so you make your way down to the barracks, doing your best to avoid attention when you can. It was not like you weren’t allowed there, but the last thing you needed was more questions.

Boost and Sinker were not lying about the pacing. Punching in the access code to his quarters reveals a tightly wound Wolffe, pacing back and forth across the length if the tight space. His armor has been haphazardly discarded around the room. You’re surprised he hasn’t worn a path into the floor yet.

“General?” Surprise and then relief fall over his face when he catches you standing in the doorway.

“Wolffe, I-”

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be resting.”

You’re thrown off by the sudden cold tone in his voice. “I-I came to explain, Wolffe… to apologize.”

“Apologize?”

“I’ve been avoiding you Wolffe,” your voice cracks despite your best efforts to remain calm, “and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, I just needed to find a way to tell you and I couldn’t.”

His frown deepens, “tell me what?”

“That I’m pregnant.”

“What?” He looks at you live you’ve grown another head.

“I’m pregnant, Wolffe.”

It takes him a moment to wrap his mind around your words, but you can see the instant he does, his mouth dropping into an ‘o’ as his jaw falls slack.

“You’re pregnant? With my… with my baby?”

“Babies,” you correct.

His brain seems to sputter out again, “babies?”

You nod, “twins.”

Before you can blink, he’s got you wrapped up in his arms, spinning you around the room. “Twins. You’re having twins.”

It takes everything you have not to start bawling. Kriffing hormones. You’ve never seen Wolffe this happy. This was beyond any reaction you could have imagined. The awe on his face when he sets you down makes your heart melt.

“This is why you were sent back? Your sudden illness?”

“Well yes… but Kix’s report was that I had an infection. I wanted to talk to your first before anyone else. I just didn’t know how.”

His warm hand oh-so-gently cups the side of your face. You lean into the touch. After even just a few weeks apart you’re starving for him.

“Why were you worried, cyare?”

“We’d never talked about kids. And we’re in the middle of a war. Not to mention we’re not even supposed to be together on the first place… I didn’t know how you’d react…”

His face softens, his amber eye drifting down to your nonexistent bump. “I’ll admit, I’m surprised. It may not be how either of us hoped, but it is a pleasant surprise.”

“Really?”

“Really, cyare.” You cannot help but smile as he pulls you in for a kiss. His lips slanting against your own as he holds you close. “I know there may be somethings we need to work out, but we’ll take it one step at a time,” he murmurs against your lips, hands tracing patterns across your back. “We’ll figure it out together.”

[johnny-freaking-silverhand]

Hospitality

Goro Takemura x V

Word Count: 1465

“Thank you again, V, for letting me stay at your apartment” Takemura thanked you once again as you both stepped into your apartment, the front door sliding shut behind you.

“No problem, it was starting to depress me, seeing you all dishevelled. And I’m dying, so that’s saying a lot” you teased playfully.  

Sure, you really hadn’t cared about his situation in the beginning. You hadn’t understood why he helped you in the first place and you just wanted to distance yourself from Arasaka, but you had been spending some time with him recently and…well, he wasn’t awful. He had become a friend, you enjoyed having him around, and so helping each other out didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore.

“…I am sorry, I hope we find a way to fix this. For both of us” he sounded sincere, his opinion on you must have changed over your time working together as well.

“It’s alright. You just have to joke about these things, y’know?” you shrugged.

“That is an interesting way to look at it” Takemura nodded in understanding, or at least like he was trying to understand you.

“Anyway, you can use the shower, it’s just through there, and you can crash on the couch” you offered, gesturing towards the bathroom.

“You are very generous” he nodded again, clearly grateful for your hospitality.

“You’re welcome here anytime; you need a place to stay and you don’t seem like the type to make a mess” you assured him. If you can share a body with Johnny Silverhand, you can occasionally share an apartment with Goro Takemura, the latter seems less disruptive.

“Thank you” he thanked you one last time before heading towards the bathroom, his bag of belongings in his hand.

“Hold on” you called out to him, making him turn back to you. “Do you want me to grab a pizza or something?” you asked.

“A pizza? No…no” Takemura certainly didn’t sound pleased by the offer. “How about you let me cook?” he suggested.

“You want to cook?” you asked, squinting at him curiously.

“It’s the least I can do, since you are letting me use your apartment” it sounded like a kind offer, but you were still curious.

“Yeah, well, I guess you technically saved my life so let’s just say we’re even” you shrugged, letting him know that he didn’t need to do any more to earn your hospitality.

“…let me cook” he insisted, making you smirk a little in amusement.

“Alright, just say that you’re too good for pizza or street food and I’ll let you cook” you reasoned, crossing your arms over your chest and raising an eyebrow at him.

“That’s not what I am suggesting…” Takemura unconvincingly defended himself.

“Just say it” you prompted.

“…please just let me cook” he sighed.

“Fine” you laughed, shaking your head at him. “But I can’t cook to save my life so I haven’t got anything. Give me a list and I’ll go grab what you need while you shower” you offered.

“Very well” Takemura agreed before sending you a list of items he would need. With that, you headed back out while he disappeared into your bathroom.

The shopping trip was relatively short, you managed to find everything he asked for, or at least a suitable substitute, and you were back home before you knew it. Stepping back into the apartment, you saw Takemura sitting on your couch, his damp hair tied up in his usual bun. You actually found yourself wondering what he would look like with his hair down…

“Got everything you needed, this better be good” you told him with a smile.

“It will be. I promise” Goro assured you, standing from the couch and walking up to you to collect his requested groceries.

As Takemura cooked in your little kitchenette, you watched on from the couch. It had been a while since anyone cooked in that kitchen, maybe you would warm things up from time to time, but that kitchen had never seen a proper meal be made.

Though, admittedly, your attention was more on the man than the cooking. Takemura was focused on the task at hand, the sleeves of his shirt folded up to his elbows, the top few buttons undone, and his still damp hair tied up in a bun. He seemed relaxed when he was cooking, which was nice to see.

You didn’t even notice at first when Johnny materialised beside you, until he spoke. “Stop giving the damn suit heart eyes, it’s embarrassing” he complained, groaning at you.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, obviously not speaking out loud but you did glance over at him. The Rockerboy was sitting on the other end of the couch, looking at you in a mix of annoyance and disappointment.

“You couldn’t be more obvious. All he has to do is look at you, and you go all mushy on the inside” Johnny scoffed.

“I do not” you protested.

“I feel everything you feel, remember?” he reminded you that you couldn’t really hide anything from him, annoyingly.

“Shut up” you rolled your eyes, turning your attention back to the kitchenette.

“So, for my sake, don’t fuck him” he said bluntly.

“Johnny!” your eyes widened slightly as you looked back at him, but he just smirked before flickering out of sight. Bastard, couldn’t he leave you alone for five minutes?

It wasn’t too long before dinner was ready and you and Takemura were sitting together on the couch and eating.

“What do you think?” he eventually asked, seeing that you seemed to be enjoying the meal.

“Not bad” you hummed before taking another bite.

“Not bad?” he raised an eyebrow at you, clearly your answer wasn’t satisfying enough for him.

“Alright, fine, it’s really good” you confessed with a small laugh. “I didn’t know you could cook” you looked at him with a small smile.

“Well, why would you know that?” he asked.

“That’s fair” you chuckled. It wasn’t like you had known him for that long, and you certainly didn’t know him before the death of Arasaka. “I guess I just thought you would’ve had someone to cook for you when you worked for Arasaka” you admitted.

“I did at times, but I preferred to cook for myself during my free time” Takemura told you, and you found yourself interested in learning more about him.

“I can’t imagine you had much of that” you hummed.

“It was very rare. Protecting the head of Arasaka was a full time duty” he nodded, taking another bite of his food.

“And now you’re crashing on my couch. Our lives really just flipped upside down on the same day, didn’t they?” you asked with a small, humourless, laugh.

“I suppose they did” Takemura hummed before lifting his gaze from his food and looking at you. “So, it is good that we became friends. We can help each other” he gave you a small smile.

“The unlikeliest of friends” you chuckled. Never would you have thought you would befriend a loyal Arasaka bodyguard, or anyone on Arasaka’s paylist for that matter. But here you are.

“Very much so” there did seem to be a sense of light-heartedness between you both now, despite the difficult predicaments that you both found yourselves in.

“Well, I’ll drink to that” you flashed him a smile before leaning over to the coffee table, picking up your drink. “Cheers” you held up the glass.

“Cheers” Takemura repeated as he lifted up his own glass, letting you clink yours against his, before you both took a sip.

After eating, you and Takemura shared the task of washing up. You had offered to do it since he cooked but he insisted on it since he was you were letting him stay here, and so you both ended up doing it. All while Johnny sat beside the sink, giving a running commentary on your conversation with Goro. The talking brain parasite was working your last nerve, commenting on your friendship with a corpo reject, and repeatedly telling you how this was a date no matter how many times you denied it and explained the real situation to him.

By the time you were finished cleaning up, it was late, and you were both tired. So, you grabbed a spare pillow and blanket, letting him set up a makeshift bed on your couch. You got changed in the bathroom, since it was the only separate room in the apartment, before climbing into your bed and making yourself comfortable.

“Night, Goro” you spoke out into the dark, just about able to his figure laying on the couch that was positioned on the wall opposite your bed.

“Goodnight, V” he responded before you both tried to get some decent sleep.

PART 2