#1) i am aware of how long this is

[artofloof]

Day 1: warmup

Deciding to try @/galacii's Shattered September! Kinda just started out with something very "nothing" and simple. Normally I don't pull through with 30 day prompt challenges so we'll see how far I get with this 👀

[weightless-feathers]

Theories of Duke's and Kay's powers

After re-watching S1 (again), I've realized some stuff about the abilities of Duke and Kay. Which might explain why Duke is so introverted (and a couple of other things too).

I'd love to hear more thoughts about all of this, so feel free to leave your comments and opinions.

(I'm only taking S1 in consideration, therefore this has spoilers for all S1. Also this might be a bit long; you have been warned.)

DUKE

The way Duke fights and showcases his powers lead me to assume a couple of things:

He is able to, not only control energy, but also recognize and change its properties. This is why he managed to get rid of Selly's G-force Nanobombs, he instructed them to stop working.

He can only do this if the energy is: contained somewhere (the smaller and simpler the container is, the better he can use his abilities), instructed to do something (for example, inside a train the energy has to do certain things, like well, keep them alive), and in direct contact with him.

He is more sensitive than other trains to small changes in the energy around him. Is not just like when, for example, someone sees how much energy other train has left, no, Duke can tell exactly what is going on with them, this is very clear when:

In the middle of the second battle, he was able to tell Kay was reformated, which is weird because in EP3 Selly herself (mechanic and doctor) was unable to guess it just by looking at Kay.

Kay's engine was about to become "strange" before the Other World incident, and he tried to make Kay train with him.

So, where is this going?

I think Duke can literally feel how other trains feel, he's basically an "emotional reader" where, even if he doesn't want to, he can sense the internal state of anyone that's around him. This must be very overwhelming for him, to the point he just doesn't want to be around too much people (also this is why he doesn't show up on the race events as Alf pointed out in EP16, having to interact with some many people must drain him a lot). He sees how others just don´t like him that much, (something that was happening even before the accident), which must be a pain to deal with, especially since he has done nothing to gain such reputation (which he held even before the virus incident). Despite all of that, he still likes to help others, which is honestly very kind of him.

In addition, his base seems to be made to have as less stimulants as possible, no colors, no stuff in general. He already deals with too much changes and feelings, so he needs a quiet and simple place where he can just rest from everything.

Oh and before the incident I'd assume he used his powers for healing reasons, simmilar to what he did in EP29, where he managed to woke up a train by giving him some kind of "electric shock". The virus made him use that ability to damage Kay's engine in a more specifc and dangerous way than any other train could have done, he focused the electric damage in order to burn Kay's engine, or at the very least leave him more exposed to regular attacks.

Though, this power could be the main reason why he survived after the final episode, he managed to wrap the energy around his engine and protect it from over-heating. He must have an insane control over all of his body, which means that he will use the energy in the best way possible, making his engine very efficient, and almost as fast as Kay's.

On the brightside, this means that the trains he actually interacts with (aka Kay and Selly) mean a lot to him. So much so that he can just relax with them, as he knows they care about him and, regardless of how they might feel at the moment, they still respect him as a co-worker and as a friend.

In conclussion, Duke can:

Know how trains around him feel.

Probably guess when someone is lying to him, though he wouldn't have a 100% accuracy.

Heal (and hurt) other trains through energy manipulation.

Control the energy inside himself for efficiency or protection.

KAY

I think that weirdly enough, Duke's and Kay's powers are pretty simmilar, it's just that they're focused on different aspects of the energy. Duke interacts with "living" things, while Kay interacts directlly with the enviroment around him. I'll have to specultae a bit more here since despite everything Kay's properties are more ambigous than Duke's.

From what I can tell, the requirments for Kay to use his abilities are:

The energy needs to be flowing freely, if it's being being used by someone or something (a train, a smaller machine, etc) he won't be able to use it, however this has an excepting which I'll go into later.

He should have his equipment on, otherwise he won't have total control over his powers (this is why he lost control on EP25, rather than enhancing, his equipment seems to lock his whole potential because otherwise he won't be able to use his special capabilities without hurting himself).

Preferibly the energy should be strong and connected to other flows of energy (basically, the more areas that are connected through the tunnels, the more powerful he becomes).

But how does this affect the areas and Kay himself?

First, the fact that he can use and change the properties of abnormal amounts of energy means that he can also change the space (and maybe even time in most extreme cases) he is in, that's why he can open tunnels and connect different areas.

The levels of electric flow of the different zones probably affect his mood and behaviour too. He needs to be in constant movement to maintain his engine functioning correctly, which means that, the more contact he has with different kinds of energy (and areas), the better he feels. He needs adrenaline and stimulants (like training) to be at his best physical and mental capacities. That's why his base is basically a rollercoaster, it just makes the start of his days a little easier.

On a side thought, it appears as if the energy itself seeks for him, he's a pretty much a magnet that can store huges amounts of energy, which would explain how he managed to go back into the rails on EP1 (and EP25) despite being out on outer-space/void.

About him traveling to the Other World on EP25; that's the best example of what happens when he's not in full control of things, Duke was able to tell something was going to happen (due to the things I've mentioned before) and wanted to prevent it, but he didn't thought that Kay would lose control so quickly.

I wonder, if Kay was able to literally rip a whole in space-times and hop to another dimension, what else is he capable of? Are there more trains like him? Is him somehow related to Alpha?

And here comes the exception I talked about a while ago, Kay managed to use Alpha's cargo, or at least the energy inside of him, this was probably because: A. It produced so much energy that it basically became an "area" on it's own, B. For some reason, the cargo allowed Kay to use the energy on it (simmilar to what Duke did when he helped Kay with the Intercontinental Railroad construction).

Conclussions:

Kay not only enjoys adrenaline and training, he needs it to keep his engine (and himself) "healthy".

Kay is more powerful the more energy he has access to (or the more area's energy flows are connected to each other).

Kay can lose control of things unexpectedly.

His engine appears to carry some mystery, and maybe Alpha has something to do with it.

More notes:

All of that was the reason Kay able to hold the energy of all areas and use it in a single attack on EP2, he transformed everything into a huge circuit with him as the "on and off" mecanism.

Before that event, he probably asked Selly and Jeffrey what would happen if he ever did that a movement like that, they probably told him something like -Kay, DON'T EVER DO THAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT, YOUR ENGINE IS GONNA GET FRIED! YOU WOULD GET A LOT OF DAMAGE EVEN IF YOU WERE AT YOUR BEST PERFORMANCE.- and then he replied -I'd never ever do that guys, I promise... BUT JUST IN CASE I'M GONNA GIVE IT A COOL NAME!-

And this is were the ability "overdrive" goes into place. I've searched and over-drive has two main meanings, when we talk about machines, is the point of maxium power and/or best use of energy of the engine. If we talk about people, it's the moment where you are left completely exahusted and cannot keep going any longer, basically, you drive yourself to exhaustion. So he literally surpases his engine's regular capacities in order to use all of the areas' electricity, or at least most of it, leaving him too tired to even move after that. That's also why in the second battle Duke apparently drained most of the energy of the available areas, he didn't want to risk Kay doing something simmilar again.

I know I've been hoping through a lot of topics during this analysis, so I want to close it with a more wholesome thought. The kind of bond that Kay and Duke share makes so much more sense to me now, let me explain. Kay is different from the rest because he geniunely needs and enjoys adrenaline and training, that's what his engine demands. Duke needs some distance and a quiet space for him to feel alright, that's just how his powers work.

They understand very well what is like to be pretty different from the average robot-trains, and take time to support eachother as there's no one else than can understand them so well in this specifc aspect of their lifes.

Before the accident, Kay probably tried to do most of the social stuff for Duke (while also giving him), while Duke helped Kay with the most boring and repetitive tasks so Kay didn't get too frustrated.

I like to imagine them having a conversation like this: Kay: "What did I say Duke?"

Duke: "We are not like the average robot-trains..."

Kay: "And?"

Duke: "And... that's okay."

Kay: "AND THAT'S FRICKING AWESOME!"

Duke: "Y-YEAH, yeah?"

Kay: "YES!"

[ocpdzim]

so ok in deep space nine they HEAVILY code the genetically enhanced people as neurodivergent (imo they all read quite clearly as autistic coded like, specifically, but most of them also seem to have other neurodivergency going on on top of that) and on one hand it kind of really sucks and is one of the biggest fuckups in the show in terms of like. representation. bc it’s sometimes played for some sort of shitty comedy and also plays into the autistic savant stereotype which nobody likes.

however also with that big “THIS KINDA SUCKS” disclaimer out of the way , there’s also some other things about how it’s handled that i want to also discuss bc they’re either interesting or actually good or just fucking weird and the combination of “this is good” and “this sucks” and “what the absolute hell were they even trying to do here” has resulted in me not being able to stop thinking about it.

first of all the number one thing that i think is actually really good about it is the very blatant and obvious “we need neurodivergent doctors for neurodivergent people” subtext that i’m not even sure it’s accurate to call subtext, it may just be text. NEVER have i seen that as a message in any show, the closest i have seen are shows where there’s a neurodivergent doctor but the reason the show considers that great is that the doctor in question can come up with novel ideas for helping neurotypical patients with unrelated issues. but it is really important - we do need neurodivergent doctors!!!! it makes a MASSIVE difference in pretty much the exact way depicted in the episode - neurodivergent doctors treat neurodivergent patients like people and engage with them on their own level and can relate to them and understand what they’re going through. star trek really said “maybe some of these patients who are ~difficult cases~ aren’t actually difficult cases and don’t need some kind of novel special procedure or whatever, they just need someone to fucking respect them for once.” and it extended that compassionate and humanizing perspective to neurodivergent people who had extremely visible and debilitating symptoms. brilliant incredible ahead of its time i just wish that it wasn’t weighed down by other Problems In The Episode. and since i figure i ought to throw in my two cents, i think this is a valuable enough message that it makes up for the flaws of the episode overall even though they are so glaring.

second of all the other thing i think is Actually Really Good about it is bashir being neurodivergent already before augmentation (they pretty much explicitly state he had some sort of learning disability) and how his parents’ attempt to “fix” him was NOT a good parenting move but instead, even though it DID make him fit in more with society and “fix” his symptoms, was a massive violation of his personhood that severely damaged his sense of self and pretty much destroyed his relationship with his parents. they weren’t evil or hateful parents - they really did want what was best for their son - but because of their ableism they couldn’t understand that what he really needed was to be accepted and respected for who he was, and to have his needs accommodated, not to be changed. neurodivergent kids get put through traumatizing and harmful “therapies” by parents who really do love them and would never intentionally harm them just like this all the time in real life. i really liked that his parents were dealt with sympathetically and it was made clear that they really did mean well, but despite that, he didn’t have to accept any justifications for what they’d done and his father ended up facing real consequences for it and accepting that it had been wrong.

this is a continuation of the bit about bashir being neurodivergent already, but i felt it needed a paragraph break - the other thing about the way being augmented by his parents in an attempt to stop him from being neurodivergent impacted bashir as a character that worked really well is that it DIDN’T stop him from being neurodivergent, it stopped him from outwardly appearing neurodivergent super obviously. it’s made very clear that even though he doesn’t have the same symptoms he had as a child, he’s still neurodivergent and instead of freeing him from any kind of burden, the treatments he was subjected to have condemned him to a life of masking forever. once again this is something that is the actual goal of many “therapies” for developmentally disabled people (fuck you aba), AND it’s something that a lot of neurodivergent people end up self-enforcing even if they’ve never been through these abusive therapies. bashir has to hide his neurodivergency to avoid making others uncomfortable and to protect his career, and it takes a clear and painful toll on his wellbeing even though it allows him to become a successful doctor. he makes it very clear he’d have rather lived his life without being forced into this box in the first place, even though now that he’s in the box he doesn’t want to get back out of it since being his authentic self now, after all the years of hiding, would put everything he has at risk. a lot of us do grapple with that and i don’t often see it portrayed at all.

now onto stuff i cannot slot neatly into “this is great” or “this sucks.”

on an actual serious level it is not good but i personally find it extremely hilarious, like as a concept, that in the sci-fi future of star trek, they invented a procedure to give your kid autism and then banned it because it makes your kid smarter and stronger than all the other kids and maybe he’ll take over the world. i’m drafting my world domination plan right now as we speak so watch out, i will destroy the government with my autism beam attack.

i have a lot of mixed feelings about lauren. on one hand, the way she’s written is often very flat and sometimes kind of creepy, and i wish she was dealt with with more nuance and depth. on the other hand, having a character who is not only disabled but institutionalized and nevertheless presenting her as beautiful, sexy, and capable of wanting and having romantic and sexual interactions is kind of nice in the face of the rampant desexualization experienced by disabled people.

the federation’s broad anti-augment stance is interesting in a show that generally presents the federation as being over most other types of discrimination. i think it’s intended to be up for audience interpretation whether the federation policies about augments are good or bad. personally, i think that it’s FLAGRANTLY bad - it isn’t the choice of a child whether to be augmented! it certainly makes sense for the procedure to be illegal considering both the risk of it being used for eugenics and the nature of it as a horribly violating procedure, but the consequences should not fall on the genetically enhanced person, but rather on whoever did that to them. i wish we’d seen more pushback against the federation’s policies and more examination of what they meant for augmented people.

the treason plotline being connected to all this was baffling to me. i am not necessarily against it on a principle level - “neurodivergent people will engage in high stakes treason and espionage in order to solve the world’s most fucked trolley problem” is so silly that it isn’t really a message i’m worried about - but i felt like it wasted the potential of the episode to go in plenty of other, more impactful directions. i would’ve much rather seen it end with the augments and the federation coming up with a better arrangement for their treatment and living situation - either to integrate into mainstream society or to find a way to improve the way they’re treated at the institution so that they are respected, listened to, and have their needs met better. ideally i would’ve really liked if we saw them all end up with different solutions, like maybe some of them would want to leave the institution and make a life for themselves outside it but others would want to stay, but with more autonomy and respect within the institution.

[deus-and-the-machina]

xenoblade 1 is interesting because when I first played it I had really mixed feelings. mostly I think because it had been slightly overhyped for me. there were so many videos with masterpiece in the description and people saying it was their favorite.

there was a lot that first turned me off during the story (namely the way it handled its female characters made me frustrated at multiple points) and also how they handled the revenge arc because I have very very specific taste in revenge arcs and I just dont think it landed for me. 

I think I appreciate it a lot more now that im fully deep into the series. I do like a lot about it, from its gameplay to its environment to a lot of the little cast interactions, to just shulk existing. yeah. yeah its alright

[pepprs]

misery despair suffering etc etc

[extremelyputridfishbreath]

not related to my longfic (which is now...180k words) in the sense that its a chapter BUT....might be writing a quick oneshot to explore certain dynamics

[newsworth]

     @tahitiwoke said:   five times kissed 🔪🔪 but maybe platonic besties 🔪🔪 or maybe not 🔪🔪

one.    of all the ways for them to make their snl debut,  this wouldn’t be chris’s first choice.   there’s fleeting moments that tease towards a bit more sophisticated humor and chris catches himself fighting a smile once or twice,   but it’s primarily meant to be an on the nose commentary on claire hale leading what kate mckinnon dressed as a reporter refers to as “ most operatically horny display in politics since the clinton administration, “  with overdrawn silences made less silent by the rousing laughter of the audience as the sexual tension builds in time with the music.  

the tightly framed close ups of suggestive looks amount to the guest star who’s meant to be phil  ( what he lacks in resemblance he makes up for with the same enthusiasm he’d brought to his lip sync battle,  which chris had thought done britney some real justice )  grabbing colin jost by a tie that chris would have never worn on his neck in real life ,   and ...    

“  wow.  “   chris’s voice startles the trio of chuckling interns into slamming down on the space bar of the keyboard and pausing the youtube clip of the sketch right as they start to see some tongue.   “  they’re really going for it.  “   the three of them turn,  red faced and apologizing throughout the coughing fit that had become of their laughter,  just in time to catch phil’s approach at chris’s shoulder.    “  hey.   you catch this?  “   chris says to him and watches every stage of grief pass across the each of the interns face as they part to make space for phil’s looming figure to lean in towards the computer screen.   a few moments pass before the chief of staff says anything,   and when he does,  it’s only to complain:   that guy doesn’t look anything like me. 

two.    “  holy shit!  “   chris’s hand took what slack it could find at the front of phil’s shirt and wound it tightly into his fist.   it’s a one hander,  a downcourt hail mary that sinks the net at the last stroke of midnight.   the sound of the buzzer through the tv is eclipsed by the uproar of that becomes of the bar.

now,   phil doesn’t give as much of a shit about basketball,  and chris is mindful enough of that to feel a little grateful that his truimph is enough to propel them both off of their barstools.  his smile catches the apple of phil’s cheek with a celebratory smack as peanut shells rain down like wedding rice.

three.  there’s a prickliness in phil’s broody mumbling that is usually reserved for things that fall under the claire and i had a fight category,   which chris has expressed in the past is hard for him to be entirely objective about so there’s just shit phil doesn’t bring up to him.  shit that chris doesn’t feel secure enough in their friendship to run the risk of repeating that two week long freeze out by prying after.   

whatever it was this time had phil’s near drunken deadweight hanging off of chris’s side in a way that was painfully awkward with their height disparity.   they’d barely made it through chris’s front door and the trek from the foyer to the bedroom felt miles long.  one step down,  twenty more to go,  and phil’s body was already swaying its weight onto his outside foot,  almost sending them into the console table where chris had just deposited his keys.  

“  you have to work with me here,  phil.  “    chris said.   

phil straightened his spine and shaded his brow under a two finger salute before using the full extent of his ungodly fucking height to survey the area.  “  this isn’t my place.  “   “  nothing gets past you.  “   chris bent down to help phil step out of his shoes.   “  mine was closer.  “   there was a turning point where phil stopped being consoled by the top gun soundtrack and got fussier the longer he had to sit in the car,   so chris made an executive decision.  there was some back and forth about whether or not phil was going to let chris offer him the bed that got settled by chris having to swear on someone’s grave  ( he gets the feeling that phil just picked a name,  any name,  because they don’t have a tonya in common )   that he really did like sleeping on his own couch.   then,  mercifully,   phil planted face first into the mattress.  at first it seemed as though he fell asleep in that same instant,  but then he groaned at the sound of chris’s wastebasket sliding across the floor towards the head of the bed.   “  i won’t throw up.  “  “  just don’t do it on my bed.  “    “  i will not throw up.  “    “  i believe you.  “   that doesn’t even sound true to chris’s own ears.   “  bathrooms through that door.  “   something phil already knows,  but a reminder can’t hurt.   “  there’s water and an aspirin on the nightstand.   i’ll be up for a while.  come get me if you need something.  “   he’s almost out the bedroom door.   “  chris?  “   phil lifts himself up onto his arms and turns to look at chris from over his shoulder. “  yeah?  “ they sit there for a moment,  phil’s expression softly obscured under the darkness but with one eye narrowing against the glow of the street light coming in from the window.  chris waits,  and he realizes he might wait all night if phil needed him to even if he would never let phil do the same for him.  what he gets in return for his patience is phil’s sloppy grin turning into an air kiss,  a wink.

that was a little too cute for chris not to grin back.  he catches the kiss with one hand and tucks the gesture in his back pocket with a wink of his own before turning the light back off.   “  sleep tight,  maverick.  “   “  g’night,  goose.  “ you shake my nerves and you rattle my brain.  even after he closes the door,  chris can hear him humming into the pillow.   too much love drives a man insane.   four.   "  what is it about your attraction to phil coulson that makes you uncomfortable?  “ dr. garrick is stoutly built.   his face has aged into a perpetual frown of intense contemplation over a set of deep set eyes that glister with their acquired intelligence and curiosity for more,   and he’s been chris’s therapist since the shooting in dallas a few years ago.   something about garrick reminds chris of his grandfather,  a man he’s never met in the flesh and only knows through the stories told by his mother from before she’d run away from home.   connecting with a therapist is not something that came very easily to him.   it was a great deal of trial and error for garrick and him get to the point where they are now. “  when i say attraction ...     i’m not speaking of a strictly sexual,   or physical attraction at all.  “   garrick clarifies with a wave of his hand.   “  the ...    incident you’re describing sounds a little more complicated than that.  “ the panic attack had come out of nowhere.  in the dark of his office he’d found the empty cave he’d made of the back of cassidy’s head,   claire’s face slack and empty through a stain glass mosaic of blood and bone,   only she couldn’t see him back.   the air was no good and sour as it left his lungs in scatters until phil set his hand on chris’s chest and willed his breathing towards a measure of five beats with the low steadiness of his voice.   cassidy’s been dead for almost two years.   he doesn’t know why the image of him had suddenly come back like that,  or what had warmly turned his mind away from that lapse in reality when phil settled him with a stare.   some of the details had to rearranged in his admission to garrick,  obviously,  but chris was better at omission than he had been before he took the job at the white house. 

the couch in garrick’s office reminds chris of the one he has in his living room at home.  the yield of the leather is right at that sweet spot that he appreciates but getting comfortable still feels like something he’s having to talk himself into.   as the moments continue to pass without much of anything offered from chris’s side of the room,   garrick shifts in his chair,   resting his hand on the knee that crosses over the other.   the notepad he uses is a ridiculously tiny thing that fits entirely in his palm.   one of those richly green,  tactical notebooks that doesn’t hold more than a hundred sheets,  and chris has only seen him write anything inside it a handful of times.

“  hearing you talk about it,   i’m reminded of..    other times you’ve expressed a struggle to identify the,   um ...   i think you described it as the thrill of your own vulnerability,  the intention behind it.  “ chris becomes reminded of them too,  even before garrick recalls them aloud.   “  the nature of your relationship with audrey shifted quite ...   dramatically,  because you had allowed her further into your life when you felt no judgement from her for your relapse.   we haven’t discussed it very much but i think you had a similar experience with your friend,   grace?  “

“  i’ve never wanted to sleep with grace.  “  giving garrick claire’s real name wasn’t an option when they started to broach certain discussions that fell outside of the realm of the assassination attempt,  and he was obviously quite limited in his ability to be perfectly candid about how much deeper their relationship ran than what was easily explainable.   easy isn’t the point of therapy.   he knows that.   garrick knew as much as chris felt he could safely tell him and still yield what he considered to be useable results. “  keep in mind that a desire for intimacy doesn’t start or stop at sex,   chris,   but grace is another situation where you were drawn to the security of having not been rejected for having allowed yourself to be seen in a certain light that you don’t typically afford to people.  “   again,   chris falls silent,  pensively chewing on the inside of his cheek as though that was where he was meant to find the truth inside that morsel of thought,  so garrick continues.   “  it may be difficult to make that distinction if most other times you’ve faced a situation like this has been with someone who had those certain expectations of you afterwards,   the way audrey did.   but i think that’s a fairer estimation of what you’re struggling with,   here.  “   

he knows how much garrick hates to be the one doing all the talking during these sessions,   how counterproductive it is to the whole point and moreso a waste of three hundred dollars for the hour,   so chris clears his throat.  “  that makes sense.  “   he scratches at a phantom itch of the word seen where it sits just behind his ear.   “  it was just ...   it felt really intimate.   when we locked eyes.  “   

“  that’s not surprising.   you’re familiar with the expression that the eyes are the window to the soul.  i like to consider how the optic nerves serve as something of a natural extension of the brain.  that when two people are capable of looking at each other while willingly stripping themselves of their private defenses,   it’s something like ...   a kiss between two minds.   a very vulnerable experience.  “   

with a look,  garrick reminds him of the rarity of chris allowing himself that experience.   the clock on the guitar pick table clicks to indicate that they only have a few minutes left of their session,  which is usually when garrick prefers to turn the conversation towards a lighter mood so that chris doesn’t leave the office with a tremendous weight over his head.

“  phil sounds like he’s a good friend,   when you let him be.  “ 

that’s why you called me and not the cops. 

“  he is.  “

five.   “  as always i’ve got chris,  meech,  and scott.  “   says phil from behind him.  chris turns just in time to catch a bounce pass and tucks the ball under his arm.   the sun hangs directly over their heads so their shadows don’t stretch very far across the asphalt.  one of the interns who they can always count on being goaded into a game of pick up puts enough stretch into his lunge to make chris smile despite how unwell he feels.  “  i think i’m gonna sit this one out.  “   he says and passes the ball back to phil.   waves off the look of interest he meets on ed’s face.   “  its hot.  i’m tired.  “  there had been a brief discussion earlier in the day about how little sleep chris had gotten the night before.   that may be why phil doesn’t fight him.

“  you can be our cheerleader.  “   phil says.  “  shame you don’t still have the skirt.  “

“  what makes you think i don’t have the skirt?  “    phil pauses mid jump shot,  and chris meets his eye from over the textured curve of the basketball.   “  don’t toy with me,  brady.  “  chris blows back that kiss he’d been saving in his back pocket.   phil takes one hand off the basketball to catch it in mid air with a wink and uses it put a little umph into the three pointer that the intern makes a comment about it absolutely not counting.  

[pocket-prosecutor]

Another Wereshifter Miles AU Masterpost because I hate inconsistencies and I want them cleared up >:(

Old masterpost here

The original concept remains the same: Edgeworth shrinks when the sun goes down, which is a strict "rule". This also takes the changes in sunset/rise times over the course of the seasons into account.

He could also cheat his way out of it by spending the summer in Finland.

As an adult, Miles shrinks down to 20 cm/8 inch.

When and how and stuff:

So in the old masterpost I said the condition started because of a strong stress-response (think of it as a Flight-Response from all the trauma, anxiety, and panic attacks).

But having this condition be an inherent trait that started earlier at around, say, age 5 or 6, is equally if not more fun. I will (hopefully) make a post just for this but in short:

Somewhere around the age of 6, Miles's wereshifting condition manifests. One evening he feels...kind of bad? His entire body tenses and he gets dizzy. Gregory notices and asks if he's okay when suddenly he sees his son shrink in front of his eyes. Eventually Miles stops shrinking when he's around 12.5 cm/5 inch. Of course he grows back when the sun rises, but they both didn't know that the first night.

In the years that follow, Miles and his father figure out how to deal with this condition through trial and error.

Who knows?

I'm keeping what I initially said about this.

Franziska knows, she found out rather quick after Miles moved into the MvK household. Before Miles started his career as prosecutor, Franziska was a safe place for him to go to when shrinking got too overwhelming.

M. von Karma knows, but Miles doesn't know that. He could use it against Miles later, if ever necessary. Keeping up the pretense works out better for him and his over-planned scheme for case 1-4.

Additionally, Phoenix knows, but only kinda sorta? Gregory told him when he was still a child, on the day before the Christmas holidays (after talking it through with Miles). He simply wanted Miles to have a friend he can trust (and for sleepovers!). Phoenix is 9. Gregory is an adult. Obviously he's telling the truth.

Edit: this initially explained that Phoenix didn't see Miles shrink when they were kids but I retconned it lol. He got to visit Miles once before DL-6 happened. Miles however doesn't recall that day very well since he suppressed most of his childhood memories. Phoenix has to remind him of both the class trial and the day he hang out with Miles after he shrunk down.

Case 1-4:

Ahh, uh. So Miles can't actually murder anyone at night, nor could he have been on that boat. Working around this is manageable. Von Karma anticipates that Miles would respond to the letter anyway, he would just hide somewhere to check it out. Besides, getting a stand-in for Miles for getting a regular sized person on the photograph is not that hard probably? And surely he has a way of getting Miles's fingerprints on the gun.

Keeping his condition secret while behind bars is hard but he manages, as long as no one checks on his cell at night.

However, the trial lasts 3 days, and that 3rd day really matters... Going off-canon a bit and let's say the trial lasts just a bit too long? It is winter after all, the days are shorter. Surely Phoenix keeps an eye out for Miles? (i will probably/hopefully make a separate post for this)

Some other tidbits:

Miles buys a large dollhouse when he moves out of the MvK household

He doesn't always sleep in the dollhouse, only if he's sure the nights are long enough so that he won't grow back and damage said dollhouse.

He uses the dollhouse mainly for the accessories that come with it. Tiny chairs, cutlery, etc. And standing around these items makes him feel at ease now and then

Additionally, he gets custom-made "doll" clothes that fit his size (he had to measure himself using measuring tape when tiny, it was quite an ordeal)

In important spots of the house (kitchen counter, bed, couch) he has small ladders set up (he had to overcome his acrophobia for this). Miles (and Gregory back in the day) often refers to them as aids.

If he cannot make it home after work, he stays in his office where he has spare clothes (small and regular sized) and one of the dollhouse beds in his top drawer. He had his drawers adapted by someone so that he can open them easily without strain.

Miles hates almost all confrontation with his condition. Even after Phoenix gains his trust he has immense trouble even mentioning it. It's been nothing but a burden and embarrassment to him, especially after DL-6.

[the-one-and-only-bibliography]

wailing like a fax machine thats slightly broken such that it whines with even more pain and suffering than normal

[little-candy-store-of-horrors]

If Elizabeth I nonbinary on Twitter then Charles V trans 😳

[that-was-anticlimactic]

my first alarm goes off in four hours ahhhhhhhh

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

.

[rigelmejo]

my guy your text blocks are insane every time i see your posts about resources i want to read it bjt one paragraph takes up more than my entire tablet acreen!!!! theyre so long!!!! and so few paragraphs!!!!! so few section headers!!!!!!! help condense for people who keep getting confused!!!!!!!!!!

Tldr: I'm really bad at shutting up and summarizing, I'm probably not ur cup of tea tbh, there's a lot of awesome blogs and sites (and books) that do much better jobs of summarizing and explaining. I am not very good at it.

Hi anon. I get what you're saying. My posts are probably not your cup of tea. There's other people saying similar tips who, unlike me, know how to summarize extremely well and plan out their posts in advance. The stuff i note down in this blog for the most part can be found in other places, shorter. And the stuff not on other blogs is mostly just my personal experience notes for me to reference later to track prprogress, or for someone like me who might wanna check someone's experiences and note if it's giving them any ideas for personal study/to compare to other ppls experiences they've seen etc. So tldr my posts are totally skippable. Unless ur super into personal experiences sharing, in which case language learning forums like those below may have some ppl who can summarize better than me (and some who ramble too):

https://www.chinese-forums.com/forums/forum/2-learning-chinese/

I'm gonna be real with you, I'm suck at summarizing concisely, it's why I was never on twitter. And this blog is primarily my study notes blog so I just ramble trail of thoughts I'd like to be able to find later. The goal is to post fast before I forget, not necessarily to clean it up as a nice guide on a personal site (though I can find and link a few if you're looking for particular learning style site guides, since I like to read those and find those online ToT).

I do need to put more readmore's in future posts though so unsuspecting browsers don't run into a 10 page post ToT. I can do that quickly, will be doing that in future so ppl don't run into walls of text.

[dollerines]

How I entered the void so easily after 1 year of trying

So after 1 year and half of trying to enter I finally did it and I am so mad because it REALLY IS SOOOOO EASY and tbh if in this post you are looking for any sort of validation or info you smart ass already know then please REMEMBER THIS : entering the void is extremely easy. You just have to do it in a way that resonates with you.

Personally for me since I had adhd I couldn’t just stay still and affirm for 1 or even a few for 10 mins. Not just because I was lazy but because just repeating “I am in the void” for so long gets me tired and makes me think of the void more and you actually don’t want to think too deeep about it. I couldn’t wake 3 hours prior and then affirm or even have the patience to do the psych k, yes I was extremely lazy back then and unpresistent but one thing that helped me even backed then was THE ALPHA STATE MEDITATION !

You just have to find what works for you, find a method technique whatever you want to do that doesn’t seem like a chore. So In a post back then I found on @gorgeouslypink acc talking about doing the alpha sate meditation and I tried it back then and I felt really relaxed and it was a good feeling but like I said back then I was realllly lazy so after a few mins I stopped. Then many months later passed and I was still looking for anything and everything on the void. Then just like two days ago I came across another post which was pretty simple and the technique I used was called the DISTRACTED TECHNIQUE.

All there was to do was the usual you get into a comfortable position and then she said to use the alpha state meditation and used the one gorgeouslypink recommended. So I used it and then what she tell you to do is to just think of anything else just get distracted basically and this WAS SO GOOD 4 ME because back then I had adhd so it made it harder to concentrate on just affirming and so yeah I just thought of random things and then at some point where I was completely distracted I felt my body like lift up 😭 if that makes sense I just can’t clearly describe it. It felt really like a shift and I was like ‘panicking’ in a way but I wasn’t actually panicking I just kinda became aware what was going and then I got scared a little but I just relaxed shortly after. Also my fan that was making like a loud noises was coming in an out and then I only hear it in one ear and then I didn’t hear anything and I just stayed there wondering if I reached the void and i actually was!!! I didn’t feel my body it felt like I had no body at all and it was pitch black just like how I imagined the void to be. For a few minutes I just stayed there feeling the most surreal peace I have ever felt. I needed that peace fr 💀.

So then I affirmed for my desires all I said was “I have all my desired results from my subliminal playlist.” Then just to be extra sure I just said “I have everything I want.”

At that point I got really excited and then I wiggled my toes to get out because I was too dam happy I needed to see all my shit the moment I wake up and then I slowly started getting out and when I tell you I cried for like a good dam minute when I woke up and saw how DIFFERENT. My room looked. I literally screamed onto my pillow. I was so dam scare and yet excited to see how I looked.

WHAT I MANIFESTED :

Desired body and face

Having silky straight tailbone length hair cuz mines was originally curly

And everything in my sub playlist

My desired boyfriend and guys I made him be like Gojo Satoru ( because we are all delusional over him 🤪) and let me tell you he is so tall, handsome, sexy and a literal god. He is so silly too 🩷

Moving countries I now live in ny

Never actually meeting my ex and all the people in my old school forget me and have actually never even met me. Like if u asked them about me they have never heard or known me before

Extremely rich rich like hella bands

Got rid of my anxiety and mental health issue

Plus +++

NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.

Even if the circumstances seem to be eating you alive don’t mind that too much. Even if all seems hopeless don’t give up because you already know nothing can decide or be unless you give it power to be. So stop being goofy and take responsibility and DONT STRESS!! You don’t see God stressing do you. All he has to do is blink and whatever he wants to happen, happens. Plus a lot of confidence came from non dualism that I owe a huge thanks to @trynafindbarbiee she really said it like it is !!

YOU GOT THIS ML 🩷🩷🩷🩷

[cherrieflavouredheadcanons]

Hi can we please have fluff w Aventurine where reader and him reunite after 2. 1 and just fucking elope start a new life etc? Please I need it.

God yes. This is what we all need after 2.1. I'm aware he is in a coma-like state technically now but for the sake of fluff and this headcanon he is awake from that coma and is now reuniting with you. CW: Spoilers for 2.1 and Aventurines actual name, starts angsty but then turns fluffy, Gn reader, pre established relationship hurt/comfort

I am still accepting requests (especially for aven) btw so if you wanna see something send it in!

Back in your arms

You had lost track of how long it was since Aventurine left for his mission in Penacony. Has it been 2 months? No, probably more. It had been months since you last had been able to make contact with him. Your messages no longer went through, unable to be sent.

Looking at your textlog and scrolling up, you came across the last message he had sent you. It had come in while you were asleep, and it simply read “I love you”.

Waking up to that message would have been a sweet message for most people, but for you it had made you immensely worried.

 Aventurine was never someone who professed his love openly, so such messages were quite rare. Receiving such a message, especially unprompted, made you send him a barricade of texts, none of which went through and even now months later none were able to be sent.

If you were honest you were starting to lose hope of ever seeing him again, who knows what happened in Penacony after all? He could be…dead for all you knew, you had no way to verify whether that was true or not after all. 

You tried continuing your life on as you would normally, what else could you do? It was hard though, everyday you missed him more and more. Sometimes you imagined his face in a crowd somewhere but whenever you would take a closer look he would vanish.

Sighing you closed your phone and looked around your apartment, it felt so liveless ever since Aventurine was gone. Tears were falling down your eyes as you wondered how much longer you had to live with the uncertainty of where he was and if he was even alive.

Exhaustion was taking over as you began falling asleep. A common occurrence nowadays, since at night you were restless, unable to fall asleep as you worried. Just as you were beginning to fully doze off, you heard the door to your apartment open, immediately waking up.

No one but you and Aventurine had the key, and with him being absent panic coursed through you thinking someone was breaking and entering. You grabbed the nearest heavy thing to defend yourself with.

“For fucks sake…” You muttered as you made your way to where the noises were coming from. Cursing every entity out there for piling even more shit onto you as if your significant other being possibly dead wasn’t enough.

Readying your weapon (probably a heavy book) you stepped foot into the room where the noise was coming from ready to attack and hit the intruder. But once you saw who it was that was in your appartment, you dropped your makeshift weapon, a sob escaping your mouth.

Before you stood Aventurine, alive and breathing. You rubbed your eyes, making sure that this wasn’t your mind playing a cruel trick on you again. Aventurine watched you with a smirk on his, albeit very exhausted looking, face and his eyes held a new found softness you had never seen before.

You fell into his arms immediately, holding him tightly against your body, feeling his warmth. Desperately you grabbed at his clothes as you held on to him, scared this was all just a dream and you would wake up all alone once again. Tears were falling from your eyes, unable to hold them back, the relief washing over you making you let out all of your emotions.

“Wow you missed me that much?” He asked, in his usual teasing tone. Though there was something in his voice that usually wasn’t there. Desperation and a bit of fear. Was he afraid you wouldn’t have missed him? Or was there a deeper reason for it?

Moving away from the hug you grabbed his face in your hands, the tears still falling from your eyes as you took a good look at him. His face had fallen in, and he seemed exhausted. But there was also something in his eyes, his beautiful eyes you were so sure you would never see again, that you couldn’t recognize, having never seen it on him before.

Before you spoke your first words to him, you pulled his face closer and gently kissed him. The feeling of his lips on yours felt like you were floating in heaven. They may have been more chapped than usual, but fuck was it nice to feel him again.  Breaking the kiss you finally were able to muster up your first words to him.

“Fuck…I was so worried about you…I…When my messages stopped being able to sent I was…so sure you…Please…never worry me like that again Aventurine…”

You leaned your forehead against his, your words jumbled together from the adrenaline coursing through you.

He took in a deep breath, and held it for a moment before letting it out. A gesture you saw in many people before they needed to say something important and heavy, but one you never saw in your lover.

“...Kakavasha…” His voice seemed unsure and meek as he spoke. 

You, of course, had no idea what he was saying, so you looked into his eyes confused.

“Wha-”

“Kakavasha…it is…my given name. The one my mother gave me” He inhaled deeply before he continued.

“It is a long story but the short version is…I am no longer affiliated with the IPC, they probably think I died or something. So I no longer go by Aventurine, and…with how close we are and how much you mean to me. I felt like it was appropriate for you to know my true name...”

His eyes refused to look at you, flickering about unsurely as he spoke. Though he tried to sound confident, his voice wavered, scared that you would not accept him for who he truly was and reject his true self.

You looked at him gently and with all the love you had for him, gently pulling him close again and kissing his nose.

“Well then…It is nice to meet you Kakavasha…” You smiled brightly at him, showing him you accepted him as he was.

He felt relief course through his body and could not help himself but pull you into a passionate kiss. He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed to stay alive. As if he would die without you.

Breaking the kiss he whispered “Marry me.” It wasn’t a question but a request. One that you were too stunned to answer to, looking at him with wide eyes.

“I mean it. Let’s get married, run away from everything and start a new life just you and me.”

His eyes were pleading with you to agree. He knew that he wanted to start over, but he knew he needed you with him.

“...yes!!” You once again fell into his arms and kissed him. The two of you holding each other so closely it was as if you were one.

Kakavasha knew that he would need to tell you everything that happened in Penacony at one point, even the part where he tried to end his life. But he knew that if he explained everything to you, you would still stay by his side and be with him. 

You were his family after all.