Terezi Pyrope, John Egbert, Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara, Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor
Act 6, page 7375-7382
TEREZI: JOHN, WH4T H4V3 YOU DON3!
JOHN: whew! that was close.
TEREZI: WHY 4R3 YOU H3R3??
TEREZI: HOW 4R3 YOU H3R3???
JOHN: it's a long story terezi. don't worry about it.
JOHN: the important thing here is, we did it. everything's going to be ok now.
TEREZI: D1D WH4T?!
JOHN: um...
JOHN: i'm not sure, actually.
TEREZI: OH MY FUCK1NG GOD
JOHN: well, i just clobbered vriska and knocked her out, like you said.
JOHN: jeez, i hope i didn't punch too hard...
JOHN: wow, she's really down for the count, isn't she.
JOHN: i got a lot of extra punching practice in my fight with the skull jerk.
JOHN: maybe i gained a bit too much man grit for my own good?
TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT!
TEREZI: DO YOU H4V3 4NY 1D34 WH4T YOU'V3 JUST DON3?
JOHN: yes.
JOHN: i randomly appeared and knocked vriska out cold, just like the scarf told me to.
TEREZI: WH4T SC4RF???
JOHN: um...
JOHN: this one?
TEREZI: YOU W3R3N'T SUPPOS3D TO DO TH1S!
TEREZI: 1 W4S SUPPOS3D TO K1LL H3R!
TEREZI: YOU JUST DOOM3D US 4LL!!!
JOHN: no, no...
JOHN: i mean, yeah, it was supposed to go that way originally!
JOHN: but now it doesn't have to, because of like, weird retcon magic, and also your crazy mind schemes.
TEREZI: M1ND SCH3M3S?!
JOHN: yes.
JOHN: well, you from years in the future, just before you died.
JOHN: i got help from your older, possibly wiser self. you helped me come back here, using the mysteries of the mind.
TEREZI: 1 S33
TEREZI: BUT TH4T DO3S NOT 4NSW3R TH3 MOST 1MPORT4NT QU3ST1ON OF 4LL
JOHN: what.
TEREZI: WHY 4R3 YOU SUCH 4 DORK?!
JOHN: shut up!
TEREZI: L3T M3 S33 TH4T SC4RF
JOHN: no!!
TEREZI: Y3S, G1V3 1T H3R3
JOHN: no, quit it!
TEREZI: YOU FUCK3D W1TH TH3 4LPH4 T1M3L1N3. 1 W4NT 4NSW3RS
JOHN: hey, i had to jump through a lot of your lame prankstery hoops to get here!
JOHN: plus i saved vriska from your back stabbing ways, so you don't need to do that for... whatever stupid reason you were going to?
JOHN: how about a little gratitude!
TEREZI: JUST T3LL M3 WH4T TH3 SC4RF S4YS
TEREZI: 1 N33D TO KNOW WH4T 1 S41D!
JOHN: look, all it says is this list of bloody passwords and instructions, most of which are dumb pranks!
TEREZI: PR4NKS? >:?
JOHN: yeah, i think so.
TEREZI: WHY WOULD 1 S3ND YOU B4CK 1N T1M3 TO PL4Y PR4NKS
JOHN: because you're a weirdo!
TEREZI: SCR3W YOU!
TEREZI: W41T
TEREZI: SO YOU 4CTU4LLY W3R3 TH3 ON3 WHO STOL3 MY DR4GON, 4ND WROT3 THOS3 NOT3S?
JOHN: yeah.
TEREZI: WHY
JOHN: i don't know!
JOHN: you told me to.
JOHN: probably to prevent you from fucking up your life?
TEREZI: 4ND YOU'R3 SUR3 YOU D1DN'T JUST M4K3 4 DOOM3D T1M3L1N3 H3R3?
JOHN: yeah, pretty sure!
JOHN: this is like, a fresh start. from this point on.
TEREZI: G1MM3 TH3 SC4RF
JOHN: no! stop badgering me about the damn scarf!!!
TEREZI: 1T'S M1N3 THOUGH, 1T H4S MY BLOOD ON 1T!
JOHN: no, it belonged to my dear departed FRIEND, her name was *future* terezi!
TEREZI: YOU B4ST4RD >:x
JOHN: look, it doesn't even say anything else, i already did everything!
JOHN: wait...
TEREZI: WH4T
JOHN: ok, there is one last thing i have to do.
TEREZI: WH4T
JOHN: it says i have to give you my wallet.
TEREZI: WH4T??
JOHN: but...
JOHN: i don't actually have my wallet?
TEREZI: YOU DONT?
JOHN: no.
JOHN: i lost it years ago.
JOHN: i think i gave it to...
JOHN: damn. who was it.
JOHN: liv tyler, the bunny?
JOHN: or was it that short chess dude.
JOHN: shit!
TEREZI: WHY WOULD 1 T3LL YOU TO G1V3 M3 YOUR W4LL3T 1F YOU DON'T H4V3 1T
JOHN: i guess you didn't realize i lost it??
JOHN: hell, even i can't remember what items we still have half the time.
JOHN: terezi, just between you, me, unconscious vriska, and that dumb clown there, this adventure has been one huge mess.
TEREZI: WH4T COULD 3V3N B3 SO 1MPORT4NT 4BOUT G1V1NG M3 YOUR W4LL3T?
JOHN: hmm.
JOHN: actually, it says give "her" your wallet.
JOHN: did "her" mean you, or vriska?
TEREZI: ???
JOHN: i guess it's a moot point, since i don't have it.
JOHN: let's just call it one small flaw in your otherwise mostly stupid plan, and get on with our lives.
TEREZI: 1T'S NOT MY PL4N!
JOHN: yes it is!
JOHN: or, was.
JOHN: i mean, will be.
JOHN: or... won't be anymore? now that we changed stuff.
TEREZI: UGH, SHUT UP
TEREZI: M4YB3 1F YOU COULD T3LL M3 *WHY* W3 N33D TH3 W4LL3T, W3 COULD M4K3 OTH3R PL4NS TO COMP3NS4T3?
JOHN: um.
JOHN: i dunno. maybe you need to captcha something really big?
TEREZI: L1K3 WH4T
JOHN: i don't know!
JOHN: it's just some vague crap you wrote on a scarf!
KARKAT: JOHN????
JOHN: oh fuck.
KARKAT: HOW IN THE CONTEMPTIBLE NAME OF MY PERMANENTLY HATE-SOILED JERKOFF TROUSERS CAN YOU ***POSSIBLY*** BE HERE?!
JOHN: no, i'm not doing this!
JOHN: i'm not explaining the retcon shit again!
KARKAT: RET-WHAT SHIT??
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO VRISKA?
KARKAT: IS
KARKAT: IS THAT *GAMZEE* TIED UP ON THE FLOOR THERE?
KARKAT: WITH A HORN SHOVED IN HIS MOUTH???
GAMZEE: *HONK*
JOHN: sigh.
KARKAT: TEREZI, WHY IS GAMZEE TIED UP ON THE FLOOR.
KARKAT: I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU. I THOUGHT HE HAD GOTTEN TO YOU FOR SURE.
TEREZI: TH4T 1S SW33T OF YOU K4RK4T, BUT TH3R3 W4S NO N33D TO WORRY
TEREZI: 1 CR4CK3D TH3 C4S3
TEREZI: W1TH 1NV3ST1G4T1ON SK1LLS L1K3 M1N3, 1T W4S 1N3V1T4BL3 >:]
JOHN: (lmao.)
KARKAT: UM, OK???
KARKAT: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IF SOMEBODY TOLD ME WHAT SORT OF PREPOSTEROUS SHIT WAS TAKING PLACE UP HERE.
KARKAT: WHAT HAPPENED TO VRISKA? WHY IS SHE PASSED OUT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR?!
JOHN: because i punched her in the face.
KARKAT: WHAT
JOHN: you heard me.
KARKAT: OK, JOHN, LISTEN. FIRST OF ALL, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.
KARKAT: I DON'T EVEN KNOW *WHERE* TO BEGIN ADDRESSING THE GLOBE NUMBING ABSURDITY OF YOUR SUDDEN PRESENCE ON THIS METEOR.
KARKAT: LET'S JUST AWKWARDLY STRAFE ALONG THE PERIMETER OF THAT HUMONGOUS, STINK-BELCHING TRUNKBEAST IN THE ROOM, AND LET THE VIOLENTLY UNINHIBITED NERD-GRILLING COMMENCE.
KARKAT: *WHY* DID YOU PUNCH VRISKA IN THE FACE??????????
KARKAT: I MEAN...
KARKAT: NOT THAT I NECESSARILY BLAME YOU, BUT STILL.
JOHN: karkat, take it easy.
JOHN: here, read this.
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.
JOHN: it's all on the scarf, buddy.
JOHN: it's all on the scarf.
KARKAT: GET THIS NASTY FUCKING RAG OUT OF MY PROXIMITY!
TEREZI: H3Y, TH4T'S M1N3!
KANAYA: Uh
JOHN: oh man.
JOHN: this is turning into a stupid circus.
GAMZEE: *HONK*
JOHN: shh!
JOHN: i should really get out of here.
JOHN: the time line is already boned enough as it is without me hanging around.
KARKAT: WHAT? YOU'RE LEAVING ALREADY??
JOHN: i mean...
JOHN: i guess it doesn't matter THAT much if i'm here?
JOHN: we already changed history like... almost completely?
JOHN: that was kind of the point.
JOHN: vriska's not dead anymore, so that means...
JOHN: wait, what does that actually mean?
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!
KARKAT: WHAT'S THIS SHIT ABOUT VRISKA BEING DEAD? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!
KANAYA: Vriskas Dead?
KARKAT: NO!!!!!!!!!
KARKAT: SHE'S ASLEEP ON THE FLOOR OVER THERE, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!
JOHN: so, that means i'll never be able to get the life ring from tavros...
JOHN: but i already have the ring? so i guess that doesn't matter?
SOLLUX: wh0's talking.
JOHN: wait, does this really mean vriska's ghost stops existing, or...
JOHN: is her ghost just going to keep existing in the dream bubbles because of "reasons"?
KANAYA: Karkat What Is He Doing Here
KARKAT: WOW, GREAT QUESTION!
KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A FUCKING NUMBER AND GET IN LINE FOR THAT ONE!!!
KARKAT: I'VE ALREADY GOT MINE! IT'S THE FIRST NUMBER THERE IS. AN ANGRY, TREMBLING DIGIT, TOWERING AND ERECT, POINTING DIRECTLY AT THE TRASHFACED KINGPIN OF INEXPLICABLE HORSESHIT HIMSELF, *GOD*!!!!!
JOHN: and if i never ended up meeting her ghost...
JOHN: i guess i never stuck my hand in the house thing to get the retcon powers in the first place, so how...
JOHN: god damn it.
KARKAT: HER GHOST??????
KARKAT: HE'S TALKING ABOUT GHOSTS EVERYBODY!
KARKAT: EVERYBODY LISTEN, HE'LL SURELY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING ANY SECOND NOW! THIS SHOULD BE GREAT!
SOLLUX: can s0me0ne please tell me wh0 is talking.
KARKAT: SHHHHH, SOLLUX PIPE DOWN! HE'S ABOUT TO SPILL THE FART NIBLETS, I CAN FEEL IT!!!!!!!!!!!
JOHN: ok guys, really, i've messed with your time line enough as it is.
JOHN: sorry for clocking you, vriska, if you can hear me in your dreams. haha, you probably can't.
JOHN: but hey, i guess this means i get to meet alive you soon, instead of ghost you? so that's neat.
KARKAT: EGBERT DON'T YOU DARE FUCK OFF
JOHN: please tell her i'm sorry for punching her in the face.
JOHN: but also, she's welcome for saving her life.
JOHN: i'll see you guys later. um, in three years to be precise.
KARKAT: WHAT???
KARKAT: NO, DON'T
KARKAT: YOU STAY THE HELL PUT. DO YOU HEAR ME YOU UGLY, PEEJAY PACKING, FLAPSNIFFING SHIT INFANT
JOHN: bye dude!
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