#78 my new fed

[kmomof4]

A Mistress to No One Part 2 Ch6

We are back with the concluding chapter of part 2! This was one of my favorite chapters to write and I so hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! 

I have invited folks who have read the book to guess what scene inspired the fic, and I think I’ve received one guess, so here’s a hint. The scene is in this chapter! So I will expect some speculations in y’all’s comments! Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me! It means more than I can say!

All the love and thanks to @hollyethecurious​, for whom the fic was written, @jrob64​ and @zaharadessert​ for their betaing expertise, and @motherkatereloyshipper​ for her manips of Leroy and Astrid and Killian I used in the artwork. Love you all to bits, ladies!

Summary: Bastard Emma Swan enjoys one night of pure magic and romance in the midst of a life of drudgery and abuse- attending a masquerade ball and meeting aristocrat Killian Jones. Two years later, the same man she met on the best night of her life reappears, saving her from a dire fate in the process.

Now, she must keep herself from falling in love with a man she can never have. But when that proves impossible, is there any hope for a happy ending between two people from such vastly different worlds?

Rating: M (smut in a later ch)

Words: 5900 of approx 61,6K

Tags: Birthday Fic, Inspired by Benedict’s Story in Bridgerton, Smut

On ao3 from the beginning/ current ch

On Tumblr Prologue Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5

New Tag List! Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

@jrob64​ @teamhook​ @winterbaby89​ @hollyethecurious​ @xarandomdreamx​ @undercaffinatednightmare​ @the-darkdragonfly​ @stahlop​ @superchocovian​ @pirateprincessofpizza​ @tiganasummertree​ @anmylica​ @cosette141​ @motherkatereloyshipper​ @zaharadessert​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @jennjenn615​ @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713​ @kymbersmith-90​ @booksteaandtoomuchtv​ @wistfulcynic​ @mie779​ @snowbellewells​ @lfh1226-linda​ @aprilqueen84​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @pirateherokillian​ @elfiola​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @justanother-unluckysoul​ @poptart-cat-78​ @myfearless-love​ @goforlaunchcee​ @searchingwardrobes​ @gingerpolyglot​ @gingerchangeling​ @djlbg​ @cocohook38​ @cs-rylie​ @thisonesatellite​ @donteattheappleshook​ @deckerstarblanche​ @veryverynotgoodwrites​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​ @fleurdepetite​

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

Dearest Reader,

In spite of an answer in the affirmative, Killian Jones was absent from the Rosen ball last evening, much to the quite vocal dismay of the resident debutants, and their mamas.

According to Lady Jones (his mother, not his sister-in-law), he’d left for the country over a week ago and has not been heard from since. But fear not for his health or well being, Gentle Reader, for Lady Jones seemed more vexed than concerned for her wayward son.

In the past few years, no less than two couples each year met their future match at the Rosen ball. But if any matches are to come out of this year’s soiree, Lady Jones’ second born will not be among the grooms.

Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers

April 7

~*~*~

There were certain advantages to a long, drawn out recovery from illness, Killian soon learned.

The first was the sheer quantity and quality of food he’d partaken of from Mrs. Miner’s kitchen. He’d always been well fed when he stayed at My Cottage, but Mrs. Miner had truly gone above and beyond as he recovered.

Second, for the first time in his adult life, he had time to himself. He could read, draw, or simply daydream without feeling guilty about neglecting some task or other.

But the best advantage to lying abed, by far, was Emma. She popped in several times a day just to check on him, bring him food, sometimes simply to read to him. He had the feeling her care for him came from a desire to show him with actions her thankfulness for his saving her from Neal Gold. He didn’t actually much care why she came, he was just glad she did.

She’d been quiet and submissive at first, very much a servant in every way, but Killian put a stop to that behavior quickly. She was absolutely delightful- beautiful to look at, engaging to converse with, pleasant to simply be in the same room with- but he had to admit he also rather enjoyed her when she was mad enough to spit in his eye. He would ask her to join him when she brought his meals or tea, then he’d purposely engage her in conversation- sometimes needling simply for the pleasure of getting a rise out of her. They discussed all manner of things- from history, to politics, to literature. She constantly surprised him with her knowledge, and while she kept many things about herself hidden, he was beginning to get a clearer view of her upbringing.

She reminded him slightly of his mystery woman. It was no wonder that when he dreamt of her now she looked more like Emma than his rather faded memory. Yes, they were similar in appearance- both with long blonde hair and a very pleasing form- but the ladies' differences in station made Emma an unsuitable match for him. No matter how much he desired her.

And desire her, he did. Whenever they traded barbs back and forth in their rather animated discussions, he thanked God above that she was physically out of his reach, because if she hadn’t been, he would have been hard pressed not to haul her against him and kiss her within an inch of her life.

A sharp knock brought him out of his musings and a grin broke over his face as he raised himself up in the bed.

“Enter.”

Emma poked her head in. “Mrs. Miner thought you’d like some tea.”

Killian raised an eyebrow. “Tea? Or tea and biscuits?”

Emma giggled adorably and Killian couldn’t help but grin. “Of course, tea and biscuits.”

“And you’ll join me?” he asked. She hesitated, as she always did, still feeling restrained by propriety, before she nodded, as she also always did.

She set down the service and went about preparing his tea and plate. “You are looking much better, Mr. Jones. Your color is back,” she commented as she handed them to him, “and you don’t look nearly as tired. I should think you’ll be back to your normal self soon.”

“I’m sure you’re right,” he agreed. “I do feel stronger.”

She sat down and he raised his eyebrow at her again. She sighed, even as the corner of her lips lifted, and fixed her own tea cup and plate. He was secretly pleased, or maybe not so secretly, that he no longer had to say a single word about her fixing her own cup and plate when she brought him tea.

“So what have you been doing?” he asked.

“Since I last saw you two hours ago?”

Killian just grinned delightedly.

“Mrs. Miner is preparing beef stew for supper and needed potatoes peeled,” she informed him, “Then I found a novel and spent some time reading in the garden.”

“Oh, really? How was the book?”

Emma smiled and sipped her tea. “It was silly and romantic,” she said with a small shrug. “I was enjoying it.”

Her cheeks blushed a lovely pink and Killian didn’t think she could be any more adorable if she tried. It also brought his musings from before she entered the room back in full force. He changed positions on the bed and bunched the coverlet around his waist.

“Are you alright, Mr. Jones? Would you like me to fluff your pillows?”

Killian inwardly groaned. If she came anywhere near him right now, he wasn’t sure he could control himself. And he was quite sure the visions going through his mind would not sit well with Emma herself.

“No,” he squeaked, before clearing his throat and repeating himself, in more of his normal tenor, “No, that’s not necessary, I assure you.”

Emma raised her eyebrow at him, expressing her disbelief at his words without a single one of her own. It probably should have alarmed him how easily they both seemed to read the other- much like an open book- but at the moment he was too agitated to care.

“Why don’t you choose something from my collection to read?” he suggested, anything to take his mind off his desire.

“Very well,” she agreed. “What would you like to hear?”

“Oh, anything.” He was growing more uncomfortable by the minute. Even her voice was affecting him.

“Poetry?”

“Splendid,” he assured her. Although he rather thought he’d have answered the same way if she suggested a book detailing the mating habits of creatures living in the arctic tundra.

She perused the books on his shelf before turning to him again. “Byron? Or Blake?”

“Blake,” he said decisively. If he had to sit through a single stanza of Byron’s romantic drivel, he’d probably lose his mind.

She moved back to her chair, gathering her rather unattractive skirts underneath her as she sat down. Killian frowned. It was the first time he’d noticed how ugly the dress she wore really was. Even the dress and cloak she wore the night they arrived was more becoming than this thing. He ought to buy her a new dress. She’d never accept it, of course, but perhaps if the clothes she now wore were accidentally burned��

“Mr. Jones?”

But how exactly would he be able to burn her dress? It would have to be off of her, of course, and that posed a certain challenge in and of itself.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Hmmm?”

Her face clearly conveyed her indignation. “You’re not even listening to me!”

“My apologies,” he said sincerely. “My mind got away from me. Please continue.”

She shot him a look that was equal parts resigned and perturbed and Killian nearly chuckled out loud. She began again and Killian fully focused on her face, but even more, her lips, which proved to be a severe error in judgment. Because now all he could think about was capturing those lips with his own. He squirmed in discomfort again. If one of them did not leave the room in the next thirty seconds, he was going to do something for which he would owe her a thousand apologies.

He cleared his throat, drawing her attention. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” he said with as much dignity as he could muster.

Her eyes widened and Killian cursed himself. She looked hurt, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He simply needed to get her away from him before he hauled her into the bed.

“I- I- I,” he stammered, “I have some personal business to attend to.”

Relief flooded her countenance and Killian relaxed as well. “Ohhh,” she said in realization. “I see.” She dropped a small curtsy, before speaking again. “I’ll just leave you alone, then.”

“Yes, thank you.”

She all but ran out of the room and Killian jumped from the bed, running to the window. Good. No one was in sight. He removed his dressing gown and pulled on a shirt and breeches before looking out the window again. Still no one around. He prayed his luck held as he searched for his boots. Once he got them on, he went to the window again. Excellent. Still no one in sight. He swung one leg over the window sill, then the other, and finally shimmied his way down the large elm tree outside his room.

Once on the ground, he took off for the very cold lake nearby, to take a very cold swim.

~*~*~

Emma descended the stairs, heading for the kitchen, grumbling to herself.

She just couldn’t understand why Killian had so much trouble treating her like what she was, a servant. He kept saying he would find her employment in his mother’s household but he also expected her to join him for tea and engage in conversation with him as if she was of his same class.

If he would just treat her like a servant, her life would be so much easier. She’d have no trouble remembering that she was nothing but a bastard, an illegitimate nobody, while he was a member of one of the ton’s most wealthy and influential families. Every time he treated her like a real person- because in her experience aristocrats did not treat their servants like real people- it took her back to that night, that one perfect night, when she had been a lady of the ton. A lady of grace and beauty. A lady who had the right to dream about a future with Killian Jones.

He treated her as if he enjoyed her company. And that was perhaps the cruelest aspect of all. Because he was making her love him. More than she had these past two years, when he was no more than a dream. For now he was flesh and blood, and close enough to touch. But then reality would come crashing in and it hurt so damn much.

She entered the kitchen to see Mrs. Miner standing over the stove stirring the stew.

“Can I help with anything?” she asked, surprising the woman.

“Oh, no, dear,” she said, waving aside her offer. “The stew just needs a few hours to simmer. And besides, Mr. Jones has not been pleased that I’ve allowed you to do anything around here.”

Emma snorted. “I don’t know why,” Emma began. “I’m just a…”

“No arguments, if you please,” Mrs. Miner interrupted her. “He’s quite right. You are not a servant here, you are a guest. And I should have been treating you as such more than I have.”

“You already have been, Mrs. Miner,” she said, an affectionate smile on her face. Mrs. Miner reminded her of Granny in a way, especially from that night. The way she fussed over her, making sure everything was just right. “But I’m not a guest.”

Mrs. Miner looked over at her, an astute look on her face. “Well then, what are you?”

Emma didn’t expect the question and faltered for a moment. “I have no idea,” she finally said. “But, a guest…” she stammered, trying to make sense of her thoughts and feelings, “a guest would be someone from his social class, or at least close to it. A guest would be someone who had never scrubbed floors… or… waited on another person… or… or…”

“A guest is someone who the master of the house has invited into the house,” Mrs. Miner interrupted gently. “Don’t belittle yourself, dear. If Mr. Jones has seen fit to invite you into the house, then you are a guest. When was the last time you were able to live in comfort and not have to work your fingers to the bone in return?”

“He can’t truly regard me as a houseguest,” Emma said quietly, “because, if he did, he’d have installed a chaperone to protect my reputation.”

Mrs. Miner huffed. “As if I’d allow anything untoward to happen under this roof.”

Emma smiled. “Of course you wouldn’t. But in this world we live in, appearances are just as important as reality. And in the eyes of society, a housekeeper does not qualify as a chaperone, no matter how pure and strict her morals may be.”

“If that’s true,” Mrs. Miner sent her a significant look, “then you need a chaperone, Miss Emma.”

“No, I don’t,” she protested. “Don’t be silly. I don’t need a chaperone because I’m not of his class. No one cares if a housemaid lives and works in the household of a single man. No one thinks any less of her, and she wouldn’t be considered ruined by anyone who would consider her for marriage.” Emma shrugged. “And Mr. Jones thinks the same way, though he’d never admit it, because he has never said a single word about my presence here being improper.”

“Well, I don’t like it,” Mrs. Miner informed her. “I don’t like it one bit.”

Emma smiled. Because it really was quite nice for her to care in the first place. “Well, if you really don’t need any help in the kitchen, then I think I’ll go outside for a walk, as long as I’m in this hazy position. I’m not a guest, not really,” she added when Mrs. Miner’s mouth opened in protest, “but I’m also not a servant, so I shall enjoy this freedom while it lasts.”

Mrs. Miner nodded in agreement. “You do that, Miss Emma.”

Emma left the cottage and started down the path that led to the nearby pond Killian had told her about. The sun was unseasonably warm, and she turned her face up to it, closing her eyes against its rays. The sunlight had always made her happy and she could feel her spirits lift from the anxiety and turmoil she’d experienced in the last few minutes, both with Killian and Mrs. Miner.

She opened her eyes, seeing a rather dense patch of forest up ahead. If she remembered correctly, Killian had told her the pond was hidden from view of the house by the trees, so she knew she was going in the right direction. She lifted her skirts slightly as she entered the canopy. The trees were dense and she had to step over tree roots and push stray branches out of the way to make her way forward. She could see a clearing up ahead and guessed the pond must be contained within.

But as she drew closer, she could hear splashing. With a gasp of fright, she realized she wasn’t alone. Who on earth would be swimming at this time of year? she thought. The water had to still be freezing this early in the season. She was only about ten feet from the edge, easily visible by whoever was in the water, so she ducked behind one of the large trees that lined the pond. Whoever was in there hadn’t spotted her and continued cavorting around in the water. Emma slowly poked her head out around the trunk and gasped in surprise.

It was Killian Jones.

And he was naked.

It was wrong of her stay. So very wrong. But she just couldn’t bring herself to leave. She moved back behind the tree and tried to find another hiding place. Perhaps something that would hide her and yet would give her a good vantage point. Was it terribly wicked of her to want to get a better look? Yes, yes it was. And she didn’t care one bit.

All her life she’d done the right thing, the safe thing. Only once had she deviated from that path and it was the single best night of her life. She’d tried to keep her eyes averted the other night when she’d undressed him, and when she did have to look at him to get his undergarments off, the shadows made by the candle kept him pretty well hidden from her curious gaze. But this was in the bright daylight. After all, what did she have to lose? She had no job, no prospects beyond Killian’s promise to secure her a position within his mother’s household. And she still wasn’t sure that was a good idea.

She spotted a large boulder off to the left with a low bush sitting in front of it, obscuring it from view. If she sat on the boulder, the bush should be high enough to keep her hidden. She moved slowly and carefully until she was seated on the rock, sitting as still as possible and keeping her eyes wide open.

~*~*~

Killian had never considered himself superstitious. Nor would he have said that he had a sixth sense. However, there had been a couple of times in his life when a sudden awareness washed over him. A kind of tingling sensation that told him something important was about to happen.

The first time was the day his father died. He’d been racing Liam on horseback when a sort of numbness had overtaken him, starting in his fingers and toes and rushing up his extremities until it centered in his chest, making it hard to draw a deep breath. It left him with a feeling of terror he’d never known in all his life. When they arrived back at the house, they received the news their father was already dead, having collapsed after being stung by a bee.

It was the kind of sucker punch none of them was prepared for. His youngest sister, Tilly hadn’t even been born yet, with Tink and Henry still young enough that it was unlikely either of them would even remember him. How someone so strong and vital could be suddenly taken from them, he just couldn’t comprehend.

The second time it happened was the night of his mother’s masquerade ball. Like the first time, the feeling had started in his extremities, but instead of numbness, it was a tingling sensation, as if he was waking up after sleepwalking. The hairs at the nape of his neck stood on end in the moments before he turned and saw her. Then, once he did, he knew exactly why he attended the ball that night; why he’d been born. He’d believed all of that then, but she’d proven him wrong by disappearing into thin air.

Now, as he stood in the pond, naked as the day he was born, he was struck again with an odd sense of being more alive than he had been just moments before. It was a good feeling, an exciting feeling.

Something was about to happen. Or perhaps, someone was near.

His life was about to change.

He stepped into a little deeper water before turning in a complete circle. He scanned the trees and bushes as best he could, but he could see no one.

“Who’s there?” he called.

Silence.

He hadn’t really expected an answer, but it had been worth a try. He squinted and did another sweep of the shore in the direction of My Cottage but could still see nothing. Moments later, something came over him and he suddenly knew exactly who was watching him.

“Emma!”

He heard a gasp, followed by a flurry of activity behind a bush on the shore.

“Emma Swan,” he yelled, “if you run from me right now, I swear I will follow you, and I will not take the time to don my clothing!”

The rustling of the bush slowed, but didn’t stop completely.

“I am stronger and faster than you, and I will catch up with you,” he continued. “And I wouldn’t put it past me to tackle you to the ground, just to be sure you won’t escape.”

“And you call yourself a gentleman,” she called, still hidden behind the bushes.

“Says the lady spying on a naked man,” he called back. Silence. Killian huffed in satisfaction. “Good. Now show yourself.” There was no response from the shore and Killian grew exasperated. “Emma, I already know you’re there. Just come out, already!”

He could almost see the petulant frown on her face as the bushes rustled again and she finally emerged. She was wearing the same dress, and seeing her there framed among the spring leaves and flowers made his desire to burn the awful thing that much stronger.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I went for a walk. What are you doing here?” she asked in return. “You’re supposed to be ill! I can’t imagine that,” she gestured vaguely at the water, “is going to help your recovery!”

“Were you following me?” he asked, purposefully ignoring her question and comment. It certainly wouldn’t do for him to tell her the truth about why he was here.

“Of course not!” she exclaimed. He knew from her expression she was telling the truth. He knew she didn’t possess the acting skill to feign that level of righteous indignation. She was too much of an open book to him. “I’d never follow you to a swimming hole. It would be indecent.”

Killian raised an eyebrow at her, not bothering to point out her hypocrisy, and her cheeks flamed in embarrassment. He lifted a hand from the water and motioned for her to turn round. “Give me a moment to get dressed, if you please.”

“I’ll just return home so you can continue your bath in privacy.”

“You will stay right there,” he demanded sternly.

“But…”

He raised his eyebrow again and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do I look like a man to be argued with at the moment?”

She stared at him mutinously.

“I will catch you if you run,” he warned her again.

Emma eyed the distance between them and then tried to guess the distance from here back to My Cottage. If he stopped to pull on his clothing, she might be able to make it, but if he didn’t…

“Emma, I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears,” he said, thoroughly exasperated. “Please stop whatever mathematical computations you’ve got going on in your head trying to decide if you could beat me back to the cottage and just do what I asked.” She still didn’t move. “Now.”

Sighing loudly and grumbling under her breath, Emma turned away from him. The infuriating man wasn’t being quiet as he emerged from the water. Now he was out, now he was picking up his breeches. She couldn’t help herself. Her wicked imagination ran away with her and she couldn’t say she minded. He could have allowed her to return to the house, but she supposed he did have the right to confront her with her wrongdoing, even if it was accidental. Her entire face was on fire and she dreaded his response when she finally faced him.

This was torture. He was purposely taking his time and her toes were falling asleep from how rigidly she was holding herself as she waited. She wiggled her toes in her shoes, and he must have noticed for he growled behind her.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“I’m not!” she protested. “My toes were falling asleep.” She paused for a moment before continuing. “And hurry up! It can’t possibly take you this long to get dressed.”

“Oh?” he drawled. She could practically see the raised eyebrow and smug smirk on his face.

“You are doing this just to torture me,” she accused.

“You find it torturous to be this close to me while I dress?” He sounded inordinately pleased at his statement. “I’m flattered. But you may turn around at any time. I asked you to turn around for the sake of your sensibilities, not mine.”

Emma huffed. “Asked, huh? I don’t recall you asking. Sounded more like a demand to me.”

“Point granted,” he acknowledged. “But you would concede that I have the right to speak to you about your indiscretion.” It was a statement instead of a question and Emma simply acknowledged it with a half shrug of her shoulders. “You may turn around, now,” he informed her gently.

She was a bit nervous to do so. Some of their banter back and forth and the way he almost seemed to enjoy getting a rise out of her made her worry that perhaps he wasn’t as decent as propriety demanded.

She lowered her head and peeked over her shoulder to see his pants on his body and so she turned fully, gratified, yet mixed with no small amount of disappointment, that he was quite decently dressed, unless one counted the damp spots on his clothing where the water had seeped through.

“It’s very bad form to spy on one’s host, you know.” He leaned back against a tree, arms crossed over his chest, legs crossed at the ankles with one toe digging into the ground. He looked utterly relaxed and breathtakingly handsome.

“It was an accident,” she insisted, her voice a bit more breathless than she’d like.

“Oh, I believe you there,” he informed her. “But even so, given the opportunity, you took it.”

Emma’s cheeks flamed again. She was damn tired of how easily he flustered her. “Well, do you blame me?”

Killian shrugged. “Nope,” he said, popping the p. “I might have done the same thing myself.”

Emma’s jaw dropped. “You would have spied on me?”

“I said ‘might’. I am a gentleman, after all.” He pushed himself away from the tree and slowly moved toward her, his blue eyes intense. “You’re a very beautiful woman,” he said, “in case you hadn’t noticed. And I have a hard time believing that you’re completely unaware of this thing between us. About how you affect me. About how I know I affect you.” He was standing right in front of her, his voice a whisper.

Her skin was hot and her heart hammered in her chest. The breath caught in her lungs and her hands trembled. Everything she’d ever dreamed of was swirling in his blue eyes and if he didn’t take her in his arms soon, she might collapse at his feet.

“Killian,” she breathed.

A slow smile spread across his face and she realized her mistake immediately.

“I like to hear you say my name.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Don’t say that,” he urged, touching a finger to her lips. “Please. Don’t you know that’s not what a man wants to hear?”

“I don’t have any experience with men.”

Killian smirked. “Now that’s exactly what a man wants to hear.”

Emma raised a brow in doubt. She knew men wanted innocence in their wives, but Killian wasn’t about to marry a girl like her.

He touched a fingertip to her cheek and ran it down until he cupped her jaw with his hand. “It’s what I wish to hear from you.” He stared into her eyes for a moment and Emma could barely breathe. “Sometimes I have trouble believing you’re real.” His other hand came up and cupped the other side of her face. “I think I’m going to kiss you.”

“You think?” she whispered.

“I think I have to kiss you,” he amended. “It’s like breathing. Rather hard to live without.”

He lowered his head and brushed her lips with his. It was achingly tender and soft and Emma whimpered as his arms came around her and held her close. His tongue touched the corner of her lips and she opened to him eagerly. It was exactly the same as before, a gentle request, full of passion and desire. Two years of remembering the single most exquisite experience of her life and now she was reliving it.

“You’re crying,” he said, pulling back and catching a tear that had fallen unbidden from her eye on the edge of his finger. “Do you want me to stop?”

Emma shook her head vehemently. No, she didn’t want him to stop. She wanted him to continue, because this time the clock would not strike midnight and she would not have to flee.

His lips took hers again. This time with more passion, more desire than even that night at the masquerade. Her mouth opened under the onslaught and his tongue took full advantage, searing her, branding her as his. His hands were not idle as his mouth made love to hers, fully possessing her. One held her tightly against him, where she could feel the desire he had for her, while the other stroked her side until he cupped her breast. His mouth left hers, as he peppered small kisses along her jaw and down the slope of her neck, making her shiver.

“Tell me you want this,” he murmured into her skin. “Tell me you want me, please,” he begged.

Oh, how she wanted it. How she wanted him. She wanted him to kiss her, hold her, love her. She wanted him to know who she was, that she was the lady from the masquerade, and yet at the same time, she never wanted him to recognize her. She was so confused, but one thing, one shining emotion rose above them all. She loved him. Well and truly loved him. And she would do anything for him.

It was that thought and that thought alone that pierced the fog enveloping her mind- the one that would have given him anything he asked for- making her pull back from him. As much as she wanted this, as much as she wanted him, she couldn’t forsake her own convictions, her own pledges to herself. If she didn’t maintain her own integrity, her own honor, what else did she have? For Killian would never love her the way she loved him. He would never marry her and bring her into his world, the one that, by rights, should have been hers. Even if he did fulfill his word to find her a position within his mother’s household, he would someday marry and leave her behind to continue on with his life, but if she broke every promise she’d ever made to herself for this one time, this one chance to be his, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself.

He looked at her somewhat dazed with desire and it nearly brought her to her knees.

“I can’t.”

“What?” The dazed look in his eyes gave way to confusion.

“I can’t do this.” Sudden clarity took over his countenance and his brow furrowed.

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

The question made her pause as she truly pondered it.

“Won’t,” she whispered.

Killian swallowed hard at her response and his nostrils flared as he inhaled sharply. “And why is that, I wonder? You certainly seemed willing a moment ago.”

“You want me to be your mistress,” she accused, and he couldn’t help the wince that overcame him at her words. “And I can’t do that. I won’t do that,” she repeated.

He reached for her, grabbing her around the waist. She stiffened in response. “I want you to be with me. Today. Tomorrow.”

“But you don’t know what tomorrow will bring,” she reminded him. “You will have to marry one day. And we both know you will not marry someone like me.”

Her words completely floored him and sudden clarity came upon him. “You’re illegitimate. Aren’t you?”

The blood drained from Emma’s face and he knew he was right.

“H- how…” she sputtered.

“But that doesn’t matter,” he interrupted her. “I don’t care that you’re illegitimate. Who was your father? Your mother?”

She almost told him she didn’t know, but then remembered her promise that she wouldn’t lie to him. “What does it matter?” she cried instead. “My mother died at my birth, and my father died several years ago. Yes, I’m illegitimate. And I will not condemn a child to the stigma I’ve lived with all my life.”

The heartbreak in her eyes and voice was breaking his heart as well. He really couldn’t blame her, given the life she’d lived, but he had to try one more time. Only once had a woman he cared for rejected him, disappearing as if she was nothing more than a dream, and he didn’t think he could survive it again.

“I thought you said your mother was a housekeeper?”

Emma gasped. She’d forgotten that she’d given him the same story she told everyone who commented on her manner of speech or her obvious education. Thankfully she’d told him that before she’d promised she wouldn’t lie to him.

Emma closed her eyes, not wanting to see his expression as she told him the truth.

“I told you the same thing I’ve told anyone who noticed the way I speak. I did it to keep my background secret.”

Killian watched her intently as she stood before him, eyes shut, wound tightly as a spring waiting for his response. Another possibility suddenly occurred to him. “Was your father a member of the ton?” If Killian hadn’t still been holding her by the waist, he was sure she would have collapsed. “Nevermind. Nevermind. Forget I asked. It’s not important. But, don’t you see? You wouldn’t be. I would care for any children we had. I could give you a roof over your head, fine clothes, jewels, good food to eat. I could give you everything you could ever want or need.”

It took her a moment to recover from his astute speculation, but once she did, she looked into his eyes and saw her own heartbreak mirrored back at her. “If you think that’s everything, Mr. Jones, then you probably wouldn’t understand why I must refuse.”

Her simple words cut him to the quick. He knew what she wanted, what she deserved, but she was right. Even though he didn’t hold a title, it would be socially unacceptable for him to marry a servant, even if she was an illegitimate daughter of a member of the ton. But there was one thing in her last statement that was also unacceptable. He pulled her closer to him and wrapped her in his arms.

“Mr. Jones!” she exclaimed. Her hands landed on his chest in a half-hearted attempt to keep him at a respectable distance, but he simply tightened his arms around her. “Let me…”

“Killian,” he interrupted. “I want you to call me Killian.” He lowered his head toward hers, waiting for her consent. She held herself stiff as a board for a moment and then relaxed in his embrace. As soon as she did, he closed the distance between their lips and gently kissed her. It was the exact opposite of what he wanted, but as a gentleman, he had to honor her wishes. He wanted her close to him. He could still pursue her- perhaps he’d be able to change her mind. “I’m still going to take you to London and find you a position in my mother’s household.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she protested. “You’re not responsible for me.”

“You became my responsibility when I realized what they had planned for you,” he bit out angrily. She knew exactly who he meant, and it made her heart melt in her chest. His finger ran along her jaw gently. “I will not see you cast adrift.”

Emma looked into his eyes. They were filled with heartbreak, but they were resolved as well. She wouldn’t be his mistress, but she could not deny him this.

“Very well, Killian,” she whispered. “I’ll come with you.”

~*~*~

Thank you for reading and sharing! Sneak peek of the new chapter will be posted on Wednesday! Don’t forget to guess what scene inspired the fic!

[theficpusher]

D for Darcy by sweetly_disposed | G | 3866 Pride and Prejudice AU, starring Louis as a slightly unorthadox Lizzie, and Harry as the misunderstood Mr. Darcy.

Wooing for Beginners by sunsetmog | T | 4362 There's a girl at school Louis is dying to impress, but Louis ends up impressing Nick instead. A sort-of bookshop/high school/Saturday job AU with extra baking and not enough fish fingers.

Sigh for Sigh by logogram | E | 10825 When his father's sudden illness forces Harry to get married in a hurry, he's delighted that Lord Louis Tomlinson is the one who makes him an offer. Being married to Louis is just as wonderful as he imagined, except for one thing-- they haven't mated yet. Or the one where they're both idiots, Harry's afraid to say what he's thinking, and Louis's just trying to be honorable.

Against His Better Judgement by lululawrence | M | 34590 It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Or a husband. Whatever. The modern Pride and Prejudice AU starring Louis as Elizabeth Bennett, Harry as Mr Darcy, Zayn as Jane/Charlotte, Liam as Mr Bingley, Gemma as Georgiana, and Niall as.....well...Niall.

Until by allwaswell16 | E | 38204 Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

Felt the blood rushing through my veins, I still remember by Samcgrath | E | 42322 Harry is the heir to his father's estate and wealth and he knows he is the most eligible bachelor in all of England. Louis is the stable boy who everyone loves and adores even though he can be a touch too bitter sometimes. They can't stand each other, and the pride of one and the prejudice of the other disallows any other feelings they might have.

Just Hear This and Then I'll Go by allwaswell16 | E | 44538 Former boy band member Louis Tomlinson can’t stand pompous indie artist Harry Styles, but with a new record label to launch he is going to have to endure his pretensions to snag up and coming new artist Liam Payne, who happens to be Harry’s oldest friend. Luckily, Liam seems to be very interested in 78 Records and maybe a little more than interested in Louis’ best friend. Too bad Harry won’t be making this easy on any of them. Or a modern day Pride and Prejudice--Louis is Elizabeth, Harry is Mr. Darcy, Zayn is Jane, and Liam is Mr. Bingley. Oh, and Niall is Mrs. Bennett. Obviously.

the last person on earth i could ever marry by igotfeels | E | 50840 A Pride and Prejudice AU, where Harry is fed up with rich men and Mr Tomlinson is a very rich man.

I've Been Clumsy With Your Heart Again by QueenoftheDustPeople | E | 101560 "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a spouse!" Niall wants to fall in love with someone (not with Harry, probably). Harry wants to figure out why he cares so much (about Niall, specifically). Otherwise known as the Narry Pride and Prejudice AU that literally nobody asked for.

[dragon-swords-prophecies]

NaNoWriMo 2023 Day 23: Herald At Dawn

***I'm doing half a nano (25k not 50k) cause I have too much other shit to do (school)***

Today's Word Count/Today's Goal Word Count: 771/835

Total Word Count: 19417/25k (78%)

Goal Word Count: 25k

Snippet:

But the wolves still needed to be fed, so Alex, Leo, James, and Asa had teamed up to go and try to get the information they wanted. Asa was there because he had, quote, “wanted to be able to testify as a witness in case you all die or get arrested”. Leo had responded to that with “Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Asa.”, to which Asa had said, “You’re welcome.”. All in all, the two were getting along well.

Notes: This update is a day late because I fell asleep writing it out, and then there's gonna be typos here because I'm finishing it in the car on my phone. I'm. So Close to 20k and I'm so fucking excited. Like. This is already the longest story I've ever written. Well, no, that's a lie, frost & fire draft 0/1 was 40k, but that took two years and had to be scrapped entirely, so this is the longest story I've ever written that had a good and proper plot and character arcs and everyone has unique personalities and just. I'm so fucking proud of myself. Like. Even if I don't finish it completely this is. I'm so fucking proud of myself. But imma stop talking about that now because I do not have time to be all emotional about my past self and my current self because I get carsick if I type too much on my phone. In other news, I have figured out what happens in between the first and second murders, and so they're all going to go and try to get information out of the police dude, and then possibly out of other people, I do not yet know that part. But then there'll be the second murder.

Taglist (ask to be +/-): @thelaughingstag @gr3y-heron @another-white-void @amethyst-aster

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

#Onthisday: Sept 6th, 2018

Title: Cuteness Member - Xtianz

Here's another HTF OC to be joined, Xtianz and his suited Zeon Armor the armored "Zaku II Kai"! 🙂

Zaku II Kai Xtianz Came from the real: MS-06FZ Zaku II Kai

Armament(s):

• 3-slot Grenade Rack Stored on the right hip of the Zaku for convenient access are three hand grenades. The Zaku Kai's grenades were more compact than the "cracker" grenades used by the original Zaku. While not very powerful or accurate, they're capable of performing different roles in the battle.

• Shoulder Shield The shield is a simple defense used to block most incoming ballistic and explosive projectiles. Also used to great effect in close quarters battle with enemy mobile suits. The Zaku II Kai mounts a shield on its right shoulder.

• MMP-80 90mm Machine Gun The upgraded version of the MMP-78 120mm Machine Gun. It used 90mm bullets instead of 120mm type, allowing for a greater speed of firing and a higher rate of penetration. The machine gun is magazine-fed with 32 rounds per mag. The MMP-80 was also integrated with a grenade launcher under its barrel for more firepower.

• Grenade Launcher The MMP-80 is fitted with an underslung grenade launcher. The grenade wasn't very effective against large ships, but was an ideal mid-range anti-mobile suit weapon.

• 120mm Machine Gun The 120mm machine gun is a standard weapon for Zaku type mobile suits. It is a shell firing gun that does not require energy to be used, however its effectiveness against heavy armor is very limited. It holds 100 rounds per drum with spare drums that can be stored on waist armor racks.

• Heat Hawk An axe-shaped close combat weapon, it uses a super-heated blade to cut through the armor of enemies and/or vehicles. The thermal energy is generated by the power output of the Zaku II's thermonuclear reactor and relayed through the armored hands. The Heat Hawk used by Zaku II Kai is modified with an extendable handle for longer reach in close quarter combat.

• Heat Sword A melee weapon originally developed for the Gouf line of mobile suits. Like the Zaku's heat tomahawk the heat sword is a blade that is heated to high temperatures in order to increase it's cutting capacity. The Heat Sword was designed after a broadsword so its blade is longer than the tomahawk allowing for a greater range of attack.

• H&L-SB25K/280mmA-P Zaku Bazooka The 280mm Zaku Bazooka was another standard weapon that could be equipped to a Zaku type mobile suit. The bazooka fired explosive rounds that were quite effective against the armor of Earth Federation mobile suits and battleships.

• Sturm Faust An explosive weapon with a rocket propelled warhead, it was designed before the beginning of the One Year War as an anti-ship weapon. Useful both in space and under gravity, it was mainly deployed for anti-ship attacks. The Sturm Faust likely made a good anti-armor suit weapon, could be equipped with both a Sturm Faust and a more typical ranged weapon for greater versatility. As a non-guided weapon, it is difficult to hit targets with high mobility.

• Shield The shield is a thick sheet of armor designed to take severe punishment that would normally destroy a mobile suit. Since the introduction of beam weaponry, shields have been treated with an anti-beam coating allowing it to withstand several beam shots before the coating wears off. Typically physical shields can only take so much damage before they succumb to the pressure and break.

Special Equipment(s) / Feature(s):

• Zaku II Kai's Mask An exact replica of the original Zaku II Kai head and a special optional accessory that can be worn on his/her face. With built in signature mono-eye w/ all feature needs, like night vision, smart target detector, a snorkel prevents all sorts of harmful smoke/gas and good used for underwater diving surface, etc...

Xtianz (HTF OC) - owned by Xtianzarts (dA) Armor (Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket) - Gundam Series © SUNRISE, Sotsu

[aizensamasuggestions]

What are you going to do after you take over the throne? What will you do with Soul Society at that point?

I plan, dear Anonymous, to tear it all down and build it up anew.

Surely you must notice the ways in which the Soul Society is broken. The Souls with spiritual pressure in the Rukongai starve. Shinigami like Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Rukia had to steal water to live and would have, had they not chosen to make their way to Academy, have withered and died without sustenance... or worse, in my opinion, they may have lost their spiritual pressure entirely. Inuzuri is district 78, Anonymous. These two trekked massive distance, faced unknown hardships along the way, and somehow did not faint at the doors of the Academy, but instead, in Abarai's case, tested into the advanced classes.

Think of what would have been lost.

On a side note, I have long theorized that Rukia being the stronger of the two self-sacrificed along the journey to keep them both going, which is the only reason that she, too, did not test into the advanced classes.

Back to my point, the Soul King sorts Souls, anonymous. It is entirely within the power of that Empty Throne to place Souls with the kind of power that Abarai and Kuchiki possessed closer to the walls of the Seireitei. Make their lives easier.

I would also, should it be in my power as Soul King, abolish the Gotei 13. This is an army with nothing to do. Ostensibly, they protect the Soul Society and maintain the Balance, but it is only the 13th Division's special mandate to send Soul Reapers into the Human World to protect them from Hollow invasion. The 12th monitors the Balance and the 13th defends it. No one else is strictly necessary. We do not need a Division whose job it is to act as the military police (the 9th) if there no military. The dissolution of the Ninth would free the presses (currently in the hands of the military police) and allow the arts and culture free expression at the will of the people (also currently regulated strictly by the military police.) If the 2nd Division is likewise eliminated there would be no more prison system, no more "Management" or "Stealth Force" tasked with hunting down and incarcerating the innocent born with "too much power." Let these soldiers beat their weapons into plowshares. If they stayed within Districts that were well fed, they could defend the Soul Society from Hollow attacks just as easily.

The noble houses... are more problematic. Probably best to slaughter them all. If they were all dead with no possibility for reproduction Central 46 would also collapse.

Then, with those parasites gone, perhaps this calcified and hidebound land could try out some kind of new age... perhaps even experiment with democracy.

[lilacthebooklover]

Free sample: "The fuck" Craig thought "Holy balls that fish is like 3x my size goddamn" Craig's heart was racing, well it would be if he didn't sell that thing to Roy "Okay you know what fuck this" Craig then proceeded to pull out a lukewarm piece of salami and chucked it at the fish much to the displeasure of Sallamy Joe "THAT WAS MY SON YOU FUCKING MANIAC" Joe barked Chapter 78

beautiful. glorious. i have been fed

sorry everyone, this is my new hyperfixation

[joanna-lannister]

1, 10, 14, 18, 25, 34, 78

THANK YOU BESTIE 🥰❤️ Tried to reply the best I could.

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I do daydream a lot before I start writing! I enjoy that part of writing where you brainstorm a lot of ideas, tho sometimes I write them down to not forget about them, but yes, I flesh out my fic by daydreaming them first and foremost. Took me actual years to write something for the King Jaime AU idea I had because I've spent my time daydreaming about it lmao

10. Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

I stick to one fic at a time because otherwise, it's all over the place 😂

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

In my kitchen, sitting on my chair or laying in bed under the blankies, but I write mostly in my kitchen.

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

I do enjoy research, it allows your curiosity to be fed. And the fic who asked me more research was the Teen Pregnancy AU because of all the different locations Jaime and Cersei go. I'm not from the UK, but I hope I was accurate in all the locations I gave.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Easily brainstorming/outlining. You have this fresh, bright new idea in mind and you have to turn it into words, it's fascinating.

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Well, everything inspires me, so I put sometimes my own experience in my writing, even sometimes stuffs I've read or seen. As I said in a previous ask game, writing baby!Joanna being worried for Cersei's life when she gives birth to her little brother was a big concern of mine when my own mother gave birth to my own little brother, and it's probably the most personal fic I've ever written.

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

Honestly? My bestie Annie. I send her ideas and snippets of what I write, and she is always SO supportive of me. Her comments are a big motivation to always write more. Also, the fact I turned an idea into words and it can possibly make someone happy.

[firstdegreefangirl]

Final 2023 Reading Wrap-Up

Total books read: 76 

Total pages read: 23,942 

Days read: 286/365 (78 percent of the days all year) 

Average star rating: 4/5 

Challenge Prompts Filled: 109 total. Popsugar: 34/49.   Romanceopoly: 31/36. CRAD: 12/12. BTBL: 32/50 

Top Five Books (all five star reads, in no particular order; it was hard enough narrowing down to five in the first place) 

In Five Years by Rebecca Searle 

The Last Flight by Julie Clark 

You and Me on Vacation (aka The People We Meet on Vacation) by Emily Henry 

Sink or Sell by Margaret Rose 

Bear With Me Now by Katie Shephard 

I fell a little behind on journal posting the last couple months, so November and December are under the cut!

November 2023 Reading Wrap-Up 

Total books read: 5 

Total pages read: 1,657 

Days read: 25/30 

Average star rating: 3.8/5 

Challenge Prompts Filled: I stopped keeping track of the challenge prompts this month. Nothing I was in the mood to read fit with much of anything, except Chantal Reads All Day. The point was to find a new way to pick books, not to torment myself with things i didn’t want to read, so I stopped counting when it stopped being fun. 

A Proposal They Can’t Refuse by Natalie Caña  ⭐⭐⭐⭐  I got this in a Facebook group swap I joined in October and couldn’t wait to start reading! It’s an excellent balance of romance and family drama, spearheaded by a couple of spitfire-y old men. The epilogue felt a little incohesive with the rest of the story, but I’m waiting to see if this debut is the first in a series before I judge it too harshly – I could see it being a nice way to tie several stories together, but if this is a standalone then it didn’t quite fit perfectly imo. Aside from that, this was a top-notch read! Friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, with a heaping scoop of “actually talking about your problems is the first step to solving them?” Sign me UP! This one packs an emotional punch in a few places, especially if you’re sensitive to cancer mentions, but it was handled wonderfully from where I’m sitting, and fed into a delightful story. I can’t wait to find out if we’ll get to see any more of these families!  

Prompts filled: BTBL – 2022 Debut Novel; Popsugar – Features two languages; Romanceopoly – The Bar/MC works at or owns a bar 

One Night on the Island by Josie Silver ⭐⭐⭐(¾) 

Many thanks to the local librarian who sat this one out in my book bag last month! I wasn’t sure about it at first, but I’m trying to read those down before they’re all due back, so I gave it a shot. Almost from the very first page, I was enraptured; now I’m trying to convince myself that moving to a remote island village in Ireland is not the move I want to make in my life. Because wow did this make it sound cute and idyllic and wonderful. The romance wasn’t quite everything I was looking for, but I suppose the ending befits the story: it’s almost as much women’s fiction as it is contemporary romance. Honestly, the biggest thing I'm missing as a reader was the aha moment where the title falls into place and makes sense. That's always such a fun moment, and as much as I enjoyed the every bit of the story, I wish I’d gotten to enjoy that feeling too. But honestly, how bad can a book be if it makes me tear up at a robotics meeting? 

Booked on a Feeling by Jayci Lee  ⭐⭐⭐(¾) 

This is a cute bookstore romance! I love book-themed books as a concept; they’re not quite meta, but there’s something close to a fourth-wall break, I think, that makes them very entertaining to me. It’s childhood/best friends to lovers, with solid anxiety rep, which I always love to see in stories. Aside from that, it was sweet, it was cute, it was sort of unremarkable, as romance stories go? I did like seeing Lizzy build friendships and find herself as her relationship with Jack developed, and it certainly wasn’t panful to finish. Mostly it was a solid, middle-of-the-road fluffy romance. Plus books and bookstores. It’s also about books and bookstores. 

Hope Never Dies by Andrew Shaffer  ⭐⭐(¾)  Listen. Sometimes you don’t read a book because you think you’ll like it. You read it because it’s so absurd that you can’t believe it actually exists and you need to know more. That’s why I was interested in Hope Never Dies. It’s been on my radar for a couple of years, but somehow I never though to check the local library. Then I stopped in on a whim one day, on my way between robotics and work, and found this book AND the sequel on the 50 cent sale rack. For a dollar, I’ll try reading almost anything, but it gets BETTER because the librarian gave them to me for free. I was so excited to dig in, knowing that it was sure to be absolutely ridiculous. And it was. This book is crack. It’s just crack. Biden is the jealous ex-girlfriend watching Obama move on after his presidency, until a murder brings them back together and they become a pair of private investigators trying to find out who killed the Amtrak conductor. It’s a wild ride, start to finish, and worth absolutely every page. But that’s not the same thing as a “good” book. Just a book that’s worth reading if you like to laugh at the absurd. 

CRAD November Prompt: set in a different time than your October book 

Too Much is Not Enough by Andrew Rannells  ⭐⭐⭐⭐(¾)  An excellent memoir! I’ve been a fan of Andrew Rannells for years, and actually tried to start this book the year it came out, but life did the thing and I never got around to finishing it. It’s fun, it’s heartfelt, it covers his life before his career really took off, and that’s always a chapter of life I’m interested in. It’s not a memoir I’d say is really applicable to everyone, but if you like theater, or if you like Andrew Rannells, definitely check it out. 

December 2023 Reading Wrap-Up 

Total books read: 6 

Total pages read: 1,214 

Days read: ?/31 (I didn’t do a good job keeping up with my planner this month because I was so busy. But I know I read at least half the days, so for the sake of my EOY counter, I’m going to call it 20.) 

Average star rating: 3.79/5 

Challenge Prompts Filled: Still not counting these. Oops?  

In The Likely Event by Rebecca Yarros  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  This. Book. Was. Incredible! I actually started it late November, but it was after the first of the month when I finished it, so it’s a December book. And a damned good one. I was recommending it to people before I’d even finished it because I was enjoying it so much (my deepest apologies to head coach, who I traumatized by giving it a chili pepper ranking, and then having to explain THAT scale). It’s a little bit out of my wheelhouse, but it’s good to spread my horizons sometimes. It’s action-packed, romantic, compelling as all hell (even if I don’t usually love dual timeline, this one held my attention from the very start and I finished it at 1 a.m., crying in my reading chair), and probably three pepper spicy, if that’s something that matters to you. 

The Trouble With Christmas by Amy Andrews  ⭐⭐⭐(¼)  This one took AGES to read. After I finished In the Likely Event, I wanted to switch to Christmas reading, starting with this thrift store find. Over two weeks later, I was still working on it, and I don’t even know why! I was busy, and it’s one of the longer books I read this year, but it didn’t feel like it moved that slowly. It’s definitely not a fast paced read, but the story never lagged or made me want to leave it behind. It’s cute, it’s Christmassy, she’s a struggling artist and he’s a veteran rancher, she ropes him into pretending to be her boyfriend for a harebrained scheme, and it’s really not a spoiler to tell you that they fall in love for Christmas. What’s not to like? 

Miracle on Three Kings’ Day by Beth Laycock  ⭐⭐⭐  Full disclosure: after The Trouble With Christmas took so long, I focused on novellas so I’d have a prayer of reading five books for December. My holiday season was super busy, and I had a bunch downloaded that I’d been meaning to read anyway. This was a fun take on celebrating non-Christmas winter holidays, without a single flake of snow on the ground. It’s quick, it’s steamy, I felt like I could picture the main characters at every step of the way. Solid rec, if you’re looking for something short and engaging without too much depth. 

Hazel’s Christmas Duet by Olivia Rian  ⭐⭐⭐(½)  I love a love story that’s not just about the romance, and this was exactly that! Hazel is new to town, finding her footing with new friends and rediscovering herself after a bad breakup. It’s a Hallmark movie in a mini-short, cozy and warm, and featuring a festively-named kitten. Easily something I could curl up and read beside a fire, if the fire didn’t mean that my apartment needed evacuating. 

Noah by Callie Vegas  ⭐⭐⭐  Uh. This is not a Christmas book, it turns out. It’s a Valentine’s Day novella –the miscommunication is on me; the series is called “Holiday Flings,” and I mistakenly assumed that meant “the holiday season,” not “every book in the series is set during a different season.” Not a bad read, but people with reading habits like mine should know that it is VERY NSFW. Well written, we all know I love a single parent trope, but I spent every minute of it hoping that no well-meaning guest would ask what was on my Kindle. Just ... be aware of that. 

The Clause in Christmas by Rachael Bloome  ⭐⭐⭐⭐  I really came in under the wire and finished my last read half an hour before my friends came over for New Year’s Eve game night. But I finished it, and that’s what counts! One of my favorite cheesy Christmas movies – this feels like a tangent, but bear with me – is The Christmas Calendar, and this reminded me a little bit of that! The premise was only very loosely similar: 24 Christmas tasks, distributed one day at a time, to get ready for the holiday, but it had the perfect vibe. As much as I was invested in the romance – I was VERY invested in the romance, trust me – I was waiting with every page to find out what the next Christmas task would be and how Cassie would embrace it. And a cute romance on top of that? What a way to wind things down for 2023! 

CRAD December prompt: within 20 pages of November book 

[lesfeldickbiblestudy]

  Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 1 * PART 1 * BOOK 78 CHRIST AS THE ROCK OF SCRIPTURE Various Scriptures Okay, it’s good to see everybody in this afternoon. For those of you joining us on television, again we want to thank you for joining us.  We have just come back from a rather long trip.  And you know, the thing that just rings in our ears when we get home is the word “every.”  They all say the same thing – we watch you every morning.  Well, you know we love to hear that.  And a couple right here just told us the same thing.  That tells us that there’s a hunger.  You’re not watching it just to kill half an hour from time-to-time, but to really get hooked on the Word of God. And as one of my listeners I was talking to last night said, “I never had an interest in this before, but now I just can’t get enough.”  Well, that’s as it should be. You know, just as soon as that new baby is born, it starts crying.  What triggers the cry?  Hunger.  They want to be fed.  And that’s the way it should be with a new believer.  So those of you out in television, again, we just thank you for your response.  We thank you for your kind letters and your financial help and everything that makes this possible. All right, we’re going to start a new book today.  It is book number 78. We finished our review of Genesis to Revelation in the last taping.  I’m going to be looking at something new today.  We’re going to look at the many times in Scripture that Jesus Christ is referred to as the Rock or the Stone.  And there’s a lot of confusion of that simply because of one verse.  The studio audience already has it, so those of you in television go with us to Matthew chapter 16.  We’re going to drop in at verse 13.  These are verses that we’ve used many times, but we’re going to comment when we get down to verse 18. Matthew 16:13-17 “When Jesus came into the borders of Caesarea Philippi, (up there in Northern Israel) he asked his disciples (the Twelve), saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?  14. And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elijah; and others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.  15. He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?  16. And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.  17. And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father who is in heaven.”  Which, of course, is the normal way of enlightening people.  Peter isn’t the first nor the last.  Now here it comes in verse 18.  Jesus is speaking. Matthew 16:18 “And I say unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; (And remember, the word is always ecclesia, so it was a called-out assembly. Not necessarily the Body of Christ Church, but it would be a Jewish called-out assembly.)  and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” I’m not a Greek scholar, but I went into some of my Greek dictionaries and I didn’t find anything that I hadn’t heard before.  And that is that there’s a play on words here.  They’re pretty much the same—the Rock or Stone. One of the Hebrew words, or the Greek, is Cephas—from which we get Peter’s other name—which is the word for rock or stone.  The only difference is that when He says, “Thou art Peter,” it’s in the feminine, if I’ve got it right.  But when He speaks of the other, “upon this rock,” then it’s masculine.  Then I went to a couple of the other commentaries and they both maintain that, yes, indeed, He was speaking to Peter as the “little stone,” but upon Himself as “the Rock, I will build my church.” And then I was really shocked when I got into Augustine. You know I’ve been rather critical of Augustine, because after all he became the father of Roman Catholicism. Yet even Augustine maintained that the Rock on which Christ was speaking was Himself—not Peter, but Himself. Of course, we are all aware that Roman Catholicism stresses the fact that that’s why Peter became the first pope, because of this statement right here.

  But the Roman Catholics aren’t alone. There are a lot of other Protestant groups that adhere to the same thing.  That when Jesus said “upon this rock,” He was speaking of Peter.  And I’m going to show, hopefully from Scripture, contrary to the tradition of Christendom, that the Rock in Scripture is always Jesus Christ.  He is the Rock.  He is the Stone!  We’re going to chase them down and see if we can make sense. Now, before we go back and look up our Old Testament reference to that, I want you to go ahead with me to Romans chapter 15.  I think it’s either verse 3 or 4—verse 4.  This is the basis for our study today.  We’re going to go back to the Old Testament, and we’re going to look at these terms concerning Christ as the Rock or the Stone, because Paul writes and tells us that: Romans 15:4a “For whatsoever thing were written aforetime (in other words, back in the Old Testament) were written for our learning,…” And you know I’m always stressing there’s a big difference between learning and doctrine.  Doctrine is that which influences our behavior.  Doctrine is what brings us to salvation.  But learning is just simply background.  So all these Old Testament Scriptures are for background more than they are for our doctrine.  In the Old Testament we get a good understanding of how God has worked from the very onset of the human experience.  All right, reading on: Romans 15:4b “…were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.”  Now, we’re going to go back to Exodus. As you turn back to Exodus, I want you to be thinking of one or two instances in the Old Testament where that is so apropos. The first one that always comes to my mind is Joseph.  Now there was Joseph, the favored son, hated by the brethren.  And because of their hatred, they sold him into slavery, and where did he end up?  Down in Egypt!  And another unfortunate situation was in the house of Potiphar when Potiphar’s wife accused Joseph of trying to assault her, and he was consequently thrown into prison.  And if I’ve got my timing right, the poor guy must have been in prison about 10 years.  Did God ever give up on him?  Did God forget about him?  Why, no!  So it tells us—no matter how tough things may get, no matter how deep the valley we’re going through—God is there.  And in His own time He’s going to bring us out of it, even as He did Joseph. Well, I think that’s what Paul refers to then. That we study and learn from these Old Testament Scriptures so that we, too, may have the patience to wait on God—knowing that in His own time He’s going to bring us through to the fruition of everything. All right, now one of the first instances in Scripture where we have Christ as the Rock is here in Exodus chapter 17.  Of course, Israel is out there on the desert.  Not a very pleasant place to be in the Middle East.  And how much of our everyday resources are on the desert?  None.  There’s nothing.  You know, the best time I can picture the desert is, if any of you went with us, when we went down to Petra.  From Amman all the way down to Petra is an all day drive in that bus, and it’s just nothing but flat gravel, nothing even for an animal to eat.  There were a few camels out there.  I don’t know whether they eat rocks or what!  But that was the perfect picture of the desert.  There’s nothing! Well, that’s where these Israelites are.  They’re out there on the desert.  You know, it just happened that Iris was going through some of her stuff yesterday and she came up with a little internet article that somebody sent me several years ago.  I’m sure you’ve all seen it—where someone in our American Army took the time one day to put together the logistics that were necessary for Israel out there on the desert.  I’m sure most of you have read it and seen it.  And they were looking at the same figure that I have used over the years—three million people.  I remember the first time I taught this, I used Dallas-Fort Worth as an example.

 Because in the 1990 census, if I remember right, in Dallas-Fort Worth there were a little over three million people. So I used the example: can you imagine Dallas and Fort Worth moving out in mass and then ending out there on the desert with nothing of natural provision.  They were totally dependent on God.  Totally!  But they were human, so what did they do?  They griped.  And they complained.   And sometimes it got worse than others.  And Moses said, “God, these are not my people.  I didn’t conceive them.  You can have them.”  And God said, “No, they’re not Mine. They’re yours.” But nevertheless, get the picture?  The poor people were out there on that flat desert living in their tents.  I don’t image they even had the wherewithal for a pick-up basketball game or a softball game.  What did the poor people do for diversion?   And that’s why things got pretty difficult.  But nevertheless, the Nation of Israel is out there completely dependent on their God. Now what are we to learn from that?  Well, that’s where we are.  We are totally dependent.  We can’t do anything on our own, because as soon as a believer thinks he can do it on his own, he’s in trouble.  So here’s one of the lessons that we learn from this – that as Israel was totally dependent on their miracle-working God, so we have to be dependent day by day. Now, when I say miracle-working—as I was going over all this the last few weeks—has there ever been a greater miracle than God moving a Nation of three to five million people out of Egypt, across the Red Sea, out onto the desert, and taking care of them for forty years?  What a miracle! But anyway, imagine how many millions of gallons of water it took every day just for their routine use?  Cooking and bathing and what have you.  And the car loads of wood that it would take for their fires!  And we know they cooked the manna.  They fried it. They boiled it and everything, so they had to have fires.  This article, that I forgot to bring today, went through all the humongous amounts of material that those three million people needed—not just for a day or two, not just for a week of campout, but for forty years.  And yet God provided. Well, that brings us all the way up to Exodus 17.  Again, I’m going to start at verse 1, because we’ve got plenty of time. Exodus 17:1-2 “And all the congregation of the children of Israel journeyed from the wilderness of Sin, after their journeys, according to the commandment of the LORD, (See, this is all under the Lord’s direction day-by-day.) and pitched in Rephidim: and there was no water for the people to drink.  2.  Wherefore the people did chide (or began to complain) with Moses, and said, Give us water that we may drink.  And Moses said unto them, Why chide ye with me?  wherefore do ye tempt (test) the LORD?”  Well, I don’t know what Moses expected them to do.  You sure don’t get water on the desert. Exodus 17:3 “And the people thirsted there for water; and the people murmured against Moses, and said, Wherefore is this that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our cattle with thirst?”  That’s the other thing I think a lot of time we forget.  They didn’t just move out with humanity, but they had all their livestock.  And it must have been tremendous numbers of it.  Everything had to eat and drink.  Now what I’m building on is the miraculousness of it all, and how God constantly supplied their need. All right, now just to show you how they complained, I think it’s in Numbers 11.  Turn there with me.  Numbers 11 and jump down to verse 4.  Now, this was the attitude of these Israelites, I imagine, during the whole 40 years out there on that sandy desert. Numbers 11:4 “And the mixed multitude that was among them (Now, that was probably non-Israelites—maybe a few of the Egyptians.  We don’t know.) fell a lusting: and the children of Israel also wept again, and said, Who shall give us flesh to eat?”  Well, what have they been eating?  Manna.  The provided food, but they were getting sick and tired of manna.

  They cooked it.  They boiled it.  They fried it.  They baked it.  And it was still manna.  All right, so now they want flesh.  Now look at verse 5. Now all we think of these Israelites is that they had been in absolute slavery.  And slavery, we know, is never a very pleasant experience.  That meant that from the time the sun came up in the morning until it set at night they were under the slave masters.  But on the other hand, it wasn’t all bad, because look at the next verse. Numbers 11:5 “We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leaks, and the onions, and the garlick:” Isn’t that amazing?  And you know what?  That’s the favorite diet of a Jew today. My, our breakfasts over there when we go to Israel, that’s what it is.  It is cucumbers and fish and you name it.  It hasn’t changed.  So, you see, we don’t want to blot out certain parts of these things and be overcome by this.  Along with their slavery and the horrors of it, they still had the good things they were willing to eat.  They had their fish and their vegetables, and they had plenty of water.  They were up there in the richest area of Egypt. Now you want to remember, Goshen was the most productive part, agriculturally, of Egypt.  So we know that these are not just so many empty words.  They had the wherewithal to produce a lot of food.  Now, as they’re out there on the desert, I think we can appreciate the fact that they were reminiscing.  My goodness, back in Egypt, even though we did work all day, at least we could sit down and have a meal when we got home at night.  We were always with plenty of water to drink, and here we are with nothing to eat except this manna and nothing to drink.  There’s no water.  Okay, now let’s move on. Exodus 17:4-5a “And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, What shall I do unto this people?  they be almost ready to stone me.  5. And the LORD said unto Moses, go on before the people, and take with thee of the elders of Israel; and thy rod,…” Now remember, that’s been an important thing from day one when Moses went back to Egypt with that shepherd’s rod.  All right, He said to be sure you take your rod. Exodus 17:5b-6a “…take the rod, wherewith thou smotest the river, (Back there when he was in Egypt and he smote the Nile—and all the things that would happen when he would use that shepherd’s rod.) take in thine hand, and go. 6. Behold, I will stand before thee there upon the rock (There’s your word.) in Horeb;…”  Now remember, that’s just the other name for Mount Sinai. Exodus 17:6b-7 “…and thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drink.  And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel.  7. And he called the name of the place Massah and Meribah, because of the chiding of the children of Israel, and because they tempted (or tested) the LORD, saying, Is the LORD among us, or not?” Now it doesn’t say here, but in another account we have what came out—a dribble or a river?  A river!  A river of water coming out there on the blank desert out of this rock, which was sufficient for these millions of Israelites plus all their livestock.  And what does that tell us?  God provided all their needs.  Well, what’s the lesson for us?  We’re going to see it more distinctly when we get back up into Matthew, when the woman at the well said, “Give me of this water.”  Well, what was Jesus talking about?  The water of Life!  And this was a picture of it.  This was simply a symbolic picture of what Christ would be to His own of any period of time.  So out came this river of water with which they were all satisfied.    Now the next verse is the next step after salvation, for us even today.  Things never change.  Verse 8: Exodus 17:8a “Then came Amalek,...” Amalek, you remember, was one of the sons or grandsons of Esau, and they were arch-enemies of the Jews.  They were their constant torment.  So these tribes of these Amalekites, when they saw this river of water

out there in the desert, what do you suppose they did?  Well, hey, they’re going to come and take their part.  And as they did, of course, it caused a fight. So we have a war between these Israelites and the Amalekites. But what’s the spiritual lesson?  Well, it’s the same way in the spiritual.  Just as soon as we feast on salvation, what’s the first thing that comes in?  Opposition from the devil and the evil part of the world.  They taunt and they torment.  So here’s the lesson.  But when you go on, of course, then we see that Israel prevailed. But anyway, here is a perfect illustration. Now we’re going to go back to the New Testament for confirmation.  Come back up to I Corinthians chapter 10, and see what Paul says concerning this Rock out there on the desert.  This is where we learn – when you compare Scripture with Scripture.  Otherwise you would never stop to think that just because Moses struck that rock that it was something special.  But it was.  And I’m going to let the Scripture tell you rather than myself. I Corinthians 10:1a “Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers (In other words, all of those Israelites that had come out of Egypt—three to five million of them.) were under the cloud,…”  In other words, it was their shade for that desert heat during the day and it became a pillar of fire at night that protected them as well as gave them the light that they needed. I Corinthians 10:1b-2 “…they were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; (the Red Sea experience) 2. And were all baptized (Not the water baptism that Christendom thinks of, but they were placed by an act of God--) unto Moses (Or under Moses, or into Moses; however you want to put it.  They were all placed.) in the cloud and in the sea;”  As they came through—they were under God’s protective care. I Corinthians 10:3-4 “And did all eat the same spiritual food; (The manna.  And then the experience that we just covered.) 4. And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them:(And now here it is.) and that Rock was (Who?) Christ.” Now, you see, that’s hard for our feeble little human minds to comprehend.  That piece of rock out there on the desert, over there on the other side of the Red Sea—that was Christ?  It’s what The Book says.  And what did Moses do?  He smote it.  Well, what was the smiting a picture of?  The Cross! When Christ was smitten for mankind, what did He become?  He became that river of life-giving water.  All the pictures and symbolisms fit.  Everything from Genesis to Revelation fits.  Here we have it as clear as language can make it.  When Moses struck that rock with his rod, he was smiting the Christ of eternity, and out came the water. So here is another perfect example of how Christ is the all-sufficient Rock.  He is the One that gives eternal life.  He supplies all the needs of not only Israel, but the whole human race.  It’s just a beautiful picture of symbolism, again, how that all these things are teaching us and preparing the Nation of Israel. Now, the point I want to make before we go any further, is that Israel is the primary recipient of the work and miraculousness of the Rock.  We’re going to come later this afternoon to when Paul speaks of the foundation of the Church.  But it won’t be a rock; it’s just going to be a foundation.  But for Israel, all these references to the Rock as being Jesus Christ were predominately between God and Israel. Now maybe I can make one point on that.  Turn ahead with me a little bit to I Peter chapter 2.  I’m going to come to it a little later.  But for now, just turn to I Peter chapter 2 and see how this is such an affinity between God and Israel—this role of the Rock and the Stone.  I Peter chapter 2 and dropping all the way down to verse 8. I Peter 2:8-9a “And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them who stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed.

 (But now verse 9, here’s where I really want to come in.) 9. But ye (These Jews to whom Peter is writing.  And remember, Peter is writing to Jews.  He’s writing to those who are scattered.  All right, he says--) are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy (or set apart) nation,...” You see, none of that applies to the Church like most people like to think.  This is Jewish language.  They are the chosen Nation.  They are the favored ones.  They’re the peculiar people.  They are the priestly nation. I Peter 2:9b “…that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:”  Well, yes, in a degree that applies to us as believers, but this is all primarily God dealing with His chosen people.  They were the ones who were the Holy Priesthood.  Remember way back in Exodus, we used it over and over, “and you shall be unto me a kingdom of priests.”   Well, you see, the Scripture never tells you and me that in the Body of Christ.  But Christendom as a whole can’t separate all this and makes the mistake of telling us this all belongs to us.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3198

today i slept in and i ended up showing my mom the dresses i got yesterday. she likes the lace one better than the off the shoulder one, which i fully expected. but honestly my favorite is the pink sundress that i didn't even try on yesterday - the girl at the register was pretty and tall and called me "friend" and i might've panicked a little bit but i looked at it and found a 3x and said "this one" and lo and behold it's perfect. it just doesn't have pockets.

i word the pink one today.

i stopped for gas and paid less than $3 a gallon and then i got orange juice on my skirt which i rinsed out with a bottle of water that i'd left in the car for a few days, which worked really well. and it dried before i even got to joel's because it got up to 78° today, and i drove around with the windows down because it was nice. i stopped at dunks on the way over for a coolatta and some donuts. good life choice.

d&d today was good - i even got to pay attention a little bit despite not taking my meds. we planned for and made it back to the abyss so we could find red's sister who we lost when we were down here originally to save helm. after a day and a half of shifting terrain and whipping sand, we found her! she had a half-snake companion with her and was a tad bit mad so before taking a long rest to regain my only 7th level spell slot to planeshift, i got rid of the madness and the snake lady mouthed "thank you" to me because she was getting SO fed up with the sister's antics. so we got spring (the sister) and made it to the river styx where the snake lady got in and floated downriver to her own level of the abyss where she needed to get back to so she could reclaim her rightful place on the throne after being wrongfully imprisoned. when it was out chance to make it across the river, we all had to pay a ferryman to get on his boat to go to the next place, which was to save our original ship's navigator from when we went there in the first place. thankfully neither of them were down as far as we went the first time, so it's a lot easier to get there. that's where the session ended.

after game, we decided on dinner and i went and grabbed it (we got diner food because it's what i wanted), and we enjoyed different things for which i realized i was very grateful. i love restaurants and stuff because they have so many different things prepared to cook and if you do that at home you make a bunch of one thing and everybody eats the same thing but i could have an omelette and some potatoes and joel could have eggs and french toast and john could get meatloaf and it was all good. i love the concept of restaurants and not having to eat the same thing as everyone else. not everyone likes the same things as i do so it's less painful to say "yes let me get this thing i know i like" as opposed to "i still don't like meatballs, i don't like that kind of salad, i still can't eat cucumbers, and bananas make my tongue itchy." i can worry about my diet without impacting what other people eat. it's helpful.

and when i had eaten my dinner and hugged joel, i headed home. but i stopped at dairy queen first for a chocolate cone and a root beer.

once home i just sat with my mom and i helped her by getting some things and i squished her feet and grabbed her new damp cloths so she would be a little comfier and i adjusted her seat so she could sleep as best she could. she still feels awful. i'm sad she doesn't feel good :c i hope she feels better for wednesday :(

and now i'm in bed and i am happy i was able to fully charge my devices today and i'm happy it's bedtime because i am very tired. good news is my shoulders hurt less. so that's good.

that's all. i'm probably gonna go see joel tomorrow at some point. got a lot of shit to do tomorrow. bleh.

[yesanartblog]

I posted 624 times in 2022

That's 491 more posts than 2021!

135 posts created (22%)

489 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@iknaenmal

@schnozzbun-art

@twothpaste

@taikova

@delirious-basement

I tagged 595 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#i reblog things - 446 posts

#earthbound - 148 posts

#mother 2 - 78 posts

#cookie run kingdom - 68 posts

#steven universe - 55 posts

#kirby - 51 posts

#chaotic chatting - 46 posts

#ness - 45 posts

#art inspo - 42 posts

#mother 1 - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#also it feels like devis released it early because of the new cookies that they know the fans would start thirsting over

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i fed them a mushroom and they became cthulu

52 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

#4

NOO

54 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

#3

some random headcanons (note: I have not played ovenbreak that much so i'm not so sure how accurate thes are)

68 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

#2

spin

116 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

oh my god

puppy

120 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[preppernewstoday]

These are the most recent news items and commentary about economics, stock trends, stocks and investing opportunities. Hedges, derivatives and obscura are also covered. These items come from the "tangibles-heavy" contrarian perspective of SurvivalBlog’s Senior Editor, JWR. Today we will be looking at the global credit market turmoil which began in England. (See Economy & Finance section. Precious Metals: Goldman explains what oil and gold can offer: This commodity is a 'welcome chance'. o o o Hedge funds remain bearish. Gold investors need more evidence that the Fed will slow down its rate increases. Economy and Finance Consulting client wanted my opinion about when the Federal Reserve would change from tight credit to loose credit. I explained to her that the FOMC would not likely change until the US is in deep recession, or when the credit markets are frozen or collapsing. What time could that be? They likely won’t be too worried about a recession until at most the spring 2023. A credit freeze, similar to the one England suffered recently, could occur at any moment. We can expect more dollar strength in the Forex and short selling precious metals by institutional and speculative investors. o o o UK cuts tax for wealthy, which caused market turmoil. o o o Video by Neil McCoyWard: It Begins... JWR’s Comments: Rishi is a bit suspicious. Take note that Rishi Sunak is a proponent of both a British CBDC and government-administered digital identification. o o o CNBC's Perpetual Cheering Section: Keep the course. For long-term investors, bear market reminders Commodities: The US Diesel Crisis is Here, and it's spreading along the East Coast. o o o A report by a globalist think-tank: October 20,22 Commodity Market Outlook : Pandemics, War, and Recession: Drivers for Aluminum and Copper Prices. o o o Over at OilPrice News: U.S. JWR's Comment: U.S. Accelerates Three-Tier plan to Reduce Oil Prices This is not a coincidence, surely? Derivatives: Mark to market losses from LDI derivatives could reach $167 bln – JPMorgan analysts. o o o Credit Suisse announces "radical" restructuring with Saudi backing. JWR's Comments: This could be their Lehman Moment with many far-reaching implications. o o o Analysis - Underwater - How the Bank of England gave markets a lifeline o o o LDI Chaos May Hurt Private Equity and Property Allocations. Forex and Cryptos The Dollar's Global Wake of Destruction. o o o Convergence between Fed-ECB Interest rate Biases Sends Dollar Low o o o U.S. U.S. jury finds Credit Suisse didn't rig forex market. o o o Schwab Market Perspective - No Stopping The Fed. o o o UK Police Council reports that officers are trained to enforce crypto. o o o CoinJournal reports that Bitcoin has rallied to $20,000. This is the next target. o o o As expected, Regulators propose the first global rules prior to the 'crypto winter' thaw. Tangibles in Investing Tamara Keel describes an investment-worthy pistol: FN High Power: A Classic rebooted. o o o Institutional Investors Seek Collectibles Home Run. o o o The state of the Collector Car Market: Very Very Good. A pericope: "This year's Monterey Car Week auctions set an 18.9% record for collector car sales. They brought in $469,000,000, 18.9% more than the 2015 record of $394.5 Million. There was a 78% sell through rate and an average selling price of $590713, both reported by auction houses. Some commentators believe that the current bear market, rising inflation, and fears of recession drove Monterey's record-breaking prices. This prompted investors to search for other places to invest their money, much as they did during the sharp declines in stock price. Provisos: SurvivalBlog Editors and their staff are not licensed to act as investment advisors. For more information, please visit our Provisos webpage. News tips:

JWR can receive your investing and economic news tips. You can send your information via the Contact form. These news are often particularly relevant as they come directly from people who monitor specific markets. Please send any news you find that might be of interest to SurvivalBlog users. Local news items that have been missed by news wire services are particularly appreciated. It doesn't have to be just about commodities or precious metals. Thanks!

[hbclife]

Beige Book Confirms Economic Slowdown and Persistent Inflation

Beige Book Confirms Economic Slowdown and Persistent Inflation

The Fed’s Beige Book points to weak economic outlook and inflation expected to persist Fed officials reinforce their commitment to curb inflation even at the cost of economic growth and higher unemployment Money Markets now price in an 78% chance of a 75-basis point rate hike at the SeptemberFOMC meeting. Recommended by Cecilia Sanchez Corona Trading Forex News: The Strategy Get My Guide The…

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

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#Onthisday: Aug 15th, 2017

Title: Cuteness Member - Maxwell

Here's Maxwell 🐰🖌️(enrolled the Cuteness Defender Academy, along with his two siblings) and his first armored, the "Guncannon", Earth Federations second unit and a power artillery suit. 😁🤖💥

Guncannon Max Came from the real: RX-77-2 Guncannon

Armament(s):

• 60mm Gatling Cannons "Vulcan Guns" Dual, head-mounted, triple-barreled gatling cannons in caliber 60 millimeter. Each gun is loaded with 400 rounds of ammunition and fires at a rate of 1600 rounds per minute. Primarily for the elimination of aerial and light armor targets. With sustained fire, the stream of bullets can cause damage to enemy mobile suits.

• 240mm Cannons A pair of 240mm cannons are mounted over either shoulder of the MS. The mid-range fire support artillery cannon is fed by a twenty (20) round internal magazine located inside the main body of the Guncannon. Each 240x800 millimeter shell has a 95 kilogram HE fragmentation warhead, with a casualty radius of 40 meters. Can fire to distances up to 2.5 kilometers.

• Spray Missile Launchers The pilot has the option to replace the 240mm cannons for the two spray missile launchers, which consist of 12 tubes, each tube containing two (2) missiles for a total of 24 missiles per launcher. While they do not have either the penetration power or the rate of fire of beam weapons, the rockets are not affected by the line of sight and any type of anti-beam coating.

• BAUVA*XBR-L (Bauva eXperimental Beam Rifle Long-range) The Guncannon can be equipped with a larger and more powerful beam rifle than the RX-78-2. It is powered via an internal E-Cap with an average charge of fifteen (15) rounds. Each beam is capable of tearing through the medium and heavy armor of enemy MS and MA that haven't been treated with anti-beam coating. Maximum effective range of the rifle is 2.8 kilometers.

• Hand Grenades Each RX-77-2 Guncannon comes with two (2) HEDP fragmentation hand grenades stored one per leg, inside a secured hatch on the lower part of the limb. All the MS need to do is reach down and pull the grenade from the storage rack. Once this is done the grenade is already armed. There is a five to seven second fuse, allowing enough time for the Guncannon to throw the grenade safely away. The average throwing distance is about 300 meters.

Maxwell (Rabbit OC) - owned by @bryan360 / BryanVelasquez87 (dA) Armor (Mobile Suit Gundam 0079) - Gundam Series © SUNRISE, Sotsu

[jeilhoxuunhe]

via The Might of Character Building - High Quality PDF Ebook 19 Pages #Might