#90s country will always have a special spot in my heart too

[bl--ankhaeji]

Bed of Roses

Pairing~ Emperor!Taeyong x CivilianPharmacist!Reader

Genre~ fluff,, angst,, empireau

Warnings~ smut..like three different scenes,,fem!recieving oral,,handjob,,switch?Tae/Reader,,Talks of war,,mentions/slight descriptions of death,,mentions/descriptions of extreme illness,,Taeyong has PTSD and nightmares,,mentions of blood,,Taeyong has insecurites,,mentions of rotting flesh

A.N~ This is my fic for the taeyong gallery collab hosted by @alreadyblondenow   I am releasing two days later than planned I am sorry for that. This fic is based off of the painting The Kiss by Gustave Klimt. Also big thanks to my mutual/beta reader, Xiami, @kjmsupremacist​ and the mutual who made this beautiful banner for me, Mylin, @suh-insane​ This is my longest fic so far I hope you all enjoy 😊 Oh and before I forget there is a whole like sort of surgery scene in here PSA I am no doctor, I know nothing substantial about medicine or medicinal practices. I got the inspiration for that scene from a drama so...(props if you can guess which one it is)

W. Count~ 12.5k 

The screams of thousands ringing in the air is deafening. Buildings are burning to the ground from a ravenous blaze. A vibrant haze of orange and red covers every single object in sight. No matter where he looks there is someone crying; hell, even the sky seems to be crying tonight. Taeyong’s legs give out from under him, bringing the once-strong prince to his knees as his head drops, hanging lowly in shame. How had he let it get this far? What happened to his beautiful peaceful empire full of its joyous people?

War. That’s what happened. His father had gotten power hungry and bloodthirsty, a terrifying duo. He remembers sitting in the royal meetings listening to the decisions his father would make, hating every single one but not having the authority let alone the guts to stand up to him. Hurried footsteps bring the prince out of his memories as a peasant girl, barefoot and in a tattered dress, appears in front of him.

“Prince Taeyong!” she cries, tears rushing down her face as if trying to see who will beat the other to the ground first. The prince's head snaps up at her cries, looking intently at her face. Her once-beautiful features are now horribly damaged and scarred from what looks like a massive burn. The girl opens her mouth, words making their way out until they stop suddenly and are replaced with a blood-curdling scream. 

It’s then that Taeyong notices the spear cutting through her flesh, beginning to protrude through her midriff before it retrieds back through her body. The girl’s now-limp body falls in a heap in front of the prince, her blood flowing rapidly out of the deep gash. In her place stands an enemy soldier. The soldier raises his sword and the two men quickly commence into a brief battle. Taeyong quickly overtakes the soldier, tearing him down almost effortlessly. 

The tired male stands tall, chest heaving, almost completely covered in blood before he rushes back to the girl, cradling her in his arms, even though his subconscious already knows it’s too late. “M-miss, oh my god miss, p-please please wake up,” he stutters frantically, lightly tapping her face. “MEDIC!! HELP SOMEONE!” he screeches so loudly it feels as if it’s ripping his throat. 

Countless people have died in front of him this whole time. Countless bodies lay around him–men, women, and children alike. Yet he’s hellbent on trying to yell for a medic that he knows isn’t there to help this one girl. Suddenly, he sees the girl's eyes flutter open. “My prince,” her voice barely whispers, her shaking hands reaching up slowly to softly cradle the prince’s tear streaked face. Suddenly the strength returns to her body, her hands, once gentle, now harshly gripping the side’s of Taeyong's face, nails causing what feels like permanent moon shaped indentures on his face. “YOU!” she spits. 

Her eyes, once gentle and kind, tainted with fear, now hold an anger and bloodlust so intense it is almost suffocating. “You’re the reason I’m like this! You and the royal family caused this-this WAR. And for what reason, huh? Thousands of lives lost; all of my friends and family are now dead because of you. I’M EVEN DEAD NOW BECAUSE OF YOU!!” Her hands now tightly grip his neck. “If I have to die by your hands then you have to die by mine. You made this bed of thorns, now lay in it. DIE!” 

“AHHHHHH!” An ear piercing cry leaves the man's lips as he now sits up in his bed scrambling to the headboard as if trying to get away. His clothes and bedding are drenched in sweat. His personal guard, Doyoung, rushes into the room, thinking there was a possible intruder from the emperor's cries. Even though this was far from the first time the emperor was plagued by night terrors, he could never be too certain.

“Your Highness, Your Highness please. Taeyong! Snap out of it; you’ll wake the entire empire, sir please.” Doyoung pleaded with the now sobbing man. “Your Highness, it’s okay it was just a dream, none of it is real.” The guard's large hand lands on the emperor’s back as he rubs soothing circles in hopes of calming the almost hysterical man. 

The dream may not have been real but his pain was, the war was real. His sobs are deafening. 

His people, his country. He failed them; he’s still failing them.

~

The once-cowering man now stands tall with an aura of elegance and power radiating off of him. After Doyoung’s fruitless attempts at trying to talk Taeyong into getting some help for his recurring nightmares, the emperor was due down in Neo City, sometimes referred to as N-City, the capital of the Neo Empire. At least once a month Taeyong comes down from the castle placed in the heart of Neo City and walks around greeting and getting to know the citizens of the city. Taeyong has always been very passionate about knowing the people under him and knowing how they live. He never wants to be an emperor that lets his people suffer while he lives extravagantly in the castle. 

He figures that’s the least he can do after failing them once already. 

He shrugs on his royal cloak even though he and everyone else knows that it’ll come off in no time once he joins the people. Taking a seat in the carriage across from Doyoung, Taeyong is handed his crown.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck fuck fuck. That’s all that you can think of as you race to make it on time. You’re so fucking late; how could you have let it slip your mind? The emperor always comes down around this time and you’re usually always in your spot on time, but you woke up late this morning after pulling an all-nighter preparing medicinal herbs for the elderly people down your street. 

Your rucksack flops lifelessly beside your hip as you finally come to a stop, managing to make it to the spot in the nick of time. You had to deliver the herbs this morning and it almost cost you to miss seeing the emperor. Ever since Taeyong had taken over as emperor and started making his monthly visits, you always made sure you were there to be able to see him. You had a special spot you always occupied. It was the perfect spot where you could see him but not be front and center so that he could see you. 

Indiscernible chatter and yelps of delight grow louder and more constant. The second you turn your head, an unmistakable crown floats atop the heads of an ample number of people. At that same moment you hear the emperor's joyous laugh, the beautiful sound bringing an uncontrollable smile to your lips. The crowd of people slowly thins out, finally allowing you to catch a glimpse of the handsome man, and you can’t help but to be taken aback by his beauty even though this is far from your first time seeing him. The first thing you look at are his eyes. Despite his entire demeanor radiating a bubbly happiness, you can see the truth in his eyes. 

Taking in the appearance of the royalty, you notice the dirty cuffs on his white button up that sit rolled up on his forearms. Ahhh he must’ve been helping Mr. Young plant vegetables again. Your mind conjures an image of the older male who has the gall to make even the emperor plant vegetables for him and  a small chuckle falls from your lips. Making your gaze up to his head, you take in the royal crown. You always wonder how the crown manages to stay rooted on his head despite sitting on it lopsided 90% of the time. A crooked smile that shines brighter than the sun graces the emperor's features and you suddenly feel your cheeks warm like a furnace. 

Too caught up in your trance, you don’t feel the person bump into you until you’re already on the ground. The silence that greets you rings heavy in the air and isn’t broken until you hear a gasp, while at the same time feeling warm, nimble fingers wrap around your arm, gently lifting you from the ground. “Are you okay?” an male voice rumbles, a voice you’re no stranger to, a voice you were just delighted to hear mere seconds ago. 

“I uh I-I ah-h y-y-yes-,” you stutter, struggling to form coherent words once you realize that the emperor has helped you up from the ground. 

The emperor helped you up.

The emperor has his hand wrapped around your arm.

The emperor saw your fall... Dear God THE EMPEROR SAW YOUR FALL!

“I-I uhh YES-yes, I am fine,” you rush out, keeping your head down, refusing to meet the eyes of Emperor Taeyong, terrified of the judgement that might lie in them at your embarrassing fall. You quickly release yourself of his hold, scurrying away before he or anyone else can get a glimpse of your face. With your heart pounding in your ears and tears pricking your eyes you run back to your house as fast as you can manage, cutting your time to see the emperor extremely short. Hey, at least you have more time to prepare; you’re going to make things a little bit different today. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Your Highness.” Doyoung’s curt voice takes Taeyong’s attention away from the retreating back of the girl he just helped off of the ground mere seconds ago. 

“Wha-–ah yes! Let’s keep moving, shall we?”  

The sound of the horses' feet clacking against the stone ground echoes throughout the carriage. “Doyoung,” the emperor starts, looking almost wistfully out of the window. “Do you think that girl from earlier is okay?” 

“I would assume so, seeing as how she had no trouble when running away as if she had just robbed a bakery,” he replied with a slight tilt in his voice.

“She did run away quite enthusiastically, didn’t she?” Taeyong can’t help the small grin that overtook his face at the memory of the girl. It was rather funny seeing her scramble away as if she had just committed a crime. 

“Your Highness, we have arrived.” The coachman speaks from the outside of the carriage as it slows to a stop. 

Despite the limited space, Taeyong stands, shouldering the heavy royal robe. The door to the carriage is opened by one of the royal guards, who proceeds to escort Taeyong to the steps of the palace. A sound of disdain falls from the guards lips and catches Taeyong’s attention. “What seems to be the problem, might I ask?” Halting his steps, Taeyong turns towards the guard and gives him his full attention. 

Realizing the emperor heard him, the guard stiffens, stuttering over his words hurriedly, attempting to make sure the emperor didn’t misunderstand. “Ah—no, Your Highness. There is no problem; not with you, at least, it’s just there’s this girl that always comes to the palace every week, and it’s just really annoying to send her away all the time.” 

Spotting a girl making her way up the palace steps, the guard and Taeyong watch as the girl encounters her first guard, thrusting the huge bouquet into his face then bowing, appearing to say something completely inaudible from this distance. Standing straight, she looks as if she begs the guard for something, a hopeful look etched onto her face only for it to fall after the guard says something in return. Seemingly giving up, the girl turns to leave the palace, only this time she hangs her head down in sorrow. 

Gathering what could be classified as a humongous bouquet, you make your way to the palace, even though you know you’ll probably be sent away again. Having succeeded in finally getting them to at least take the bouquet, you can only hope it reaches the emperor. Usually you just give him a nice bouquet full of roses that grow right in your garden at home with a nice little card attached reminding him to eat and get enough fluids, things like that, but this time after seeing the emperor you know he needs more than just roses. You gathered up and put together a bouquet full of beautiful red roses, gladiolus colored a light pale peach, white poppies, and a bunch of basil sprinkled throughout the bouquet. 

Each flower carries a significant meaning with it that you want to give to the emperor and even if none of your other bouquets got to him, you really wish this one will. Sitting down, you prepare to write the note that you would leave this time. 

It’s me again, Your Highness. I saw you today when you went down to town, and you looked really tired despite the smile you put on your face for us. I do hope you are getting enough sleep while also keeping yourself fed and hydrated, otherwise if you get sick, who will lead us as well as you do? 

As you can see, I gave you a little something different than the usual roses. Considering that you’re a busy person, I’ll assume that you don’t know these flowers or their meanings so allow me to tell you. 

The red flowers are obviously the roses I have been giving you for the last year or so. The pink looking flowers are called Gladiolus and they symbolize strength and get their name from gladiators who fight with strength and honor. The white flowers are called White poppies; they symbolize peace and the remembrance of war. They got that meaning because they are usually the flowers that grow atop fallen soldiers' bodies after war. Finally the little green leaves sprinkled throughout the bouquet are called Basil; although usually used in food, they are also thought to bring peace while warding off negative spirits, symbolizing good wishes, wealth, and a happy home. 

Now that you know their meaning, I hope you can understand why I gifted these to you. Till next time Your Highness. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Closing the folded piece of paper, Taeyong lets out a breath before looking at the beautiful bouquet in his hands. He was surprised that someone took so much notice and cared so greatly about him and his well-being to do something like this. With a light heart and a small flustered grin, he places the card back in the bouquet, setting the flowers in a vase atop the vanity in his room, somewhere where he is sure he will get to see the flowers everyday. 

Back to normal again this week, Your Highness. I do hope that you were able to receive last week's bouquet, but I know there’s a good chance you did not, just like you will not this week. Do not ask why I continue to deliver these bouquets even though I know that you have not gotten a single one. It is too much to explain over a single note. I hope you have eaten well and stayed hydrated throughout this week. I also hope you have been sleeping well. If not, one way I find that helps is lavender oil. You could take it orally or drink some lavender tea before bed. You could even keep lavender in your room to infuse the area with its scent. 

That’s it for this week, Your Highness. Till next time

Closing the note from this week, Taeyong places it back inside of the bouquet, setting it down on his vanity. “Doyoung!” When you delivered today’s bouquet, Taeyong had made specific orders to ensure that it got to him this time. “Could you fetch me some lavender?” 

So after the first time, every week Taeyong couldn’t help but find himself lying in wait anxiously just to get your bouquet and read the sweet little notes you left in them. He had made sure to keep every single letter. His room was so full of roses that he had to start placing them all over the palace, but not without making sure to get the little note always cuddled inside. Not only that, he even started to smell like roses and he couldn’t be happier. He soon found himself relying on the little notes left in the bouquets’ to get himself through the week. Even if it was the simplest message just telling him to make sure to eat, drink, and sleep properly it still means the world to him.

 He would get so excited for the bouquets that he had even started to make his way down to the palace entrance when he knew you were coming. Doyoung would compare it to a dog waiting on their owner to get home. He swore one of these days he was going to stop being a scaredy cat and go out and accept the bouquet himself, but until that day came he would remain behind the palace doors. 

The resounding gong of the grandfather clock echoed throughout the room, alerting Taeyong of the new hour. It’s not like he didn’t already know, though. “It’s 4 o’clock, I have thirty minutes till my roses come.” Signing the last of the documents, stacking them on top of his desk, Taeyong stands, stretching his lithe body in order to get rid of the stiffness in his joints. Walking around his desk, Taeyong makes his way through the door.

A monotone voice laced with sarcasm breaks the silence, scaring Taeyong. “I guess it’s time for your one-sided weekly date. Or is it one-sided since one brings gifts while the other just watches like a creepy stalker?” Doyoung questions, leaning against the wall next to the entrance whilst raising his eyebrow.

“N-no! I mean, yes, it is close to time for the delivery, but it’s not a date.” A light blush covers Taeyong’s cheeks as the word ‘date’ falls from his lips. “I was just leaving to go around the palace and see how everything is going, checking and making sure things are happening the way they should–y’know, kingly duties.”

Turning to face the obviously flustered king, Doyoung gives him a deadpan expression that screams mmhm sure. “All I got from that was that you admit to being a creepy stalker.” Taeyong’s mouth flies open, unable to give a coherent response. “Oops, look at the time! You should probably start making your rounds,” he says, walking out of the room, the sound of Taeyong’s incoherent ramblings drowning out as he walks away. 

Sobering up from his conversation with Doyoung, he makes his rounds around the castle, steadily making his way to the entrance, keeping his eyes on the time. By the time he makes it to the entrance, he can see the girl making her way up the palace stairs, still a little dot in the distance. He can’t help but notice the way his hands begin to feel clammy and his heart rate slowly picking up as your face comes into view. 

He remembers the first time he came down and was finally able to see your face clearly. He swears it was as if the world stopped. You looked more beautiful than any bouquet he has received from you. He was so flustered that he couldn’t help but to blush every time he thought of you. He knows because Doyoung wouldn’t shut up about the magenta red that spread along his cheeks at random times that day. 

He was so focused on looking at you that he didn’t realize the rushed way in which you gave the guard the bouquet. All he knew was that one second he was staring at your face and the next your back as you lightly jogged away. Slight disappointment settles in his stomach as he realizes you didn’t even attempt to convince the guard to give the bouquet to him this time. 

The guard walks over, handing the bouquet to the waiting king, not wanting to be gone from her post too long; she quickly turns around, moving to head back before the voice of the emperor stops her. “Wait!” Taeyong notices the tension in her body at the sound of his voice, “Yes, your highness?” she asks, voice shaking slightly. 

“Where is the note?” 

Turning back around, she faces the emperor. “What note, sir?” 

“The note. The one that’s always in her bouquets.” Taeyong notices his voice came out sharper than he intended when he sees the guard flinch slightly. “I apologize; I didn't mean for that to come out so harshly. I just—there’s always a note that comes with her bouquets and-and there’s not one in here.”

“Ah, I don’t believe there was one in there, Your Highness. At least, I didn’t see one when she handed it to me.” Upon seeing the crestfallen look that sits on the emperor's face, the guard instantly offers to check and see if it had fallen off somewhere. 

Not wanting to get his hopes up, Taeyong replies, “No you’re fine–it’s fine if you didn’t see it when she handed it to you then it must not have been there in the first place.” Taeyong can hear how disheartened his voice was. Deciding it’s time to go inside, he sends the guard off to go do what they were doing beforehand.

“Hey Tae, how was the–What’s wrong?” Doyoung instantly notices the somber expression placed upon the emperor’s face. “You usually are about ready to jump off of the walls and now you look like the baker just ran out of those sweet potato cubes you get when we go into town.”

“It’s nothing.”

Grabbing Taeyong’s shoulder, Doyoung turns him around so they’re face to face, “That girl didn’t say anything mean in that note she leaves in the bouquets did she? Cause if she did, so help me god- no so help her I will-.”

“Calm down, she didn’t say anything mean. She didn’t say anything at all. There was no note in the bouquet this time.” 

“Oh. Uhh well, at least she still delivered the roses. Maybe something happened and she didn’t have time to write the letter,” Doyoung tries to reason, hoping he would be able to say something that would lift his friend’s spirit. Taeyong could tell Doyoung was trying his best to be supportive but there is nothing he could say right now that could make him feel any better.

“Y-yeah, maybe.” Not wanting to think about it anymore, Taeyong leaves for his room with a wave. At least he finished all of his paperwork for the day and he can just lay in bed.  

Taeyong finds himself walking through a field filled with flowers without an end in sight. It’s not until he sees the outline of a person sitting in the field that he starts to speed up, hoping he could ask the stranger where he was at. 

As he gets closer, the person begins to seem more and more familiar. It has him thinking, trying to figure out who it could be. As if the person hears him they turn around and he’s surprised to see you sitting in the field. 

“Hello Taeyong.” 

“Ahh hi.” Taeyong can feel his heart rate pick up almost as if it’s trying to jump out of his chest.

“Would you like to sit with me? The bloom is absolutely beautiful today.” Replying with a stiff nod, the usually confident emperor shyly takes a seat in the field of white flowers. Giving the seemingly flustered male a soft smile you pluck one of the flowers out of the field, lifting it up to your nose smelling the fragrant plant. 

“Smells heavenly. Would you like to take a sniff?” you ask, taking the flower away from under your nose, handing it to the male opposite you. 

Taeyong takes the small white flower out of your hand, lifting it to take a whiff. He immediately recoils as the putrid smell of rotting flesh infiltrates his senses, “Wha-” You snatch the flower away from his hand taking another whiff. 

“Smells great, doesn’t it? I love the smell of white poppies.” It’s then that Taeyong’s mind remembers the white flowers that were in the first bouquet that he received from you as well as the meaning of the flowers. Finally taking in his surroundings, Taeyong realises that it’s not just a field of flowers but a field of dead bodies. 

“Y’know Taeyong, I used to be sad thinking that I was going to have to go forever without ever getting to see these gorgeous flowers. But because of you and the war your family started, all of these dead bodies were able to sit here and grow some of the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen.” By now you have picked up a whole bouquet worth of the poppies, little pieces of rotted flesh hanging off of the bottoms, “Too bad I had to die before I got to see them.” 

After hearing her last sentence Taeyong takes a good look at the girl, noticing that the white poppies she had collected were all from her body. “Y’know maybe you should die too so you can fully witness the beauty of these flowers,” you say with a slight tilt to not only your voice but your head. 

Before he can question it you’re already driving a spear through Taeyong’s heart. 

~

“Taeyong you look like absolute shit. Do you really think you should be going into town like that?” The bags under Taeyong’s eyes look bigger and heavier than the robe on his shoulders. It has been a week since you dropped off the bouquet without a note.  

“Yes, Doyoung. It’s been a month, we don’t want people to worry.” 

“Funny. You say you don’t want them to worry but you look like the living dead. They’ll worry either way.” The guard rebutts, crossing his arms sassily.

“Doie, I don’t have the time nor the energy to argue with you, just please can we go?” 

“That’s just it. You always have time and energy to argue with me! Taeyong, it’s been a week; it was just one note out of hundreds. Who knows; maybe she just forgot to put it in the bouquet, but regardless of what happened you can't keep moping around and carrying yourself like this. You’re an emperor, for pete’s sake! What will you do when she stops bringing the bouquets?”

Taeyong freezes. What will he do? He can't expect you to deliver bouquets forever, can he? At some point you’ll get tired of it, tired of him, and what will he do then? Standing straight, Taeyong makes his way out of the palace, head held impossibly high. 

“I- dammit Taeyong I didn’t mean it like-”

“No. You’re right, I can’t expect her to always bring the bouquets, that's selfish of me.” I can't always expect her to be here. It's selfish to expect her to be here. “Come on, we have people to see,” he says, climbing inside of the carriage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally done unpacking your clothes from the last minute trip you had to take last week, you plop onto your bed, completely beat. One of the families you delivered medicine to ran out suddenly and you had to rush to their house so that their child did not die. You spent the rest of the week nursing the child back to health after they had to go without medicine.  

The thing is, you got the message in the middle of making the emperor’s bouquet for that week and you didn’t have the time to make a note to put in the bouquet. Even though you know that the emperor doesn’t receive the bouquets at all, you still felt the guilt sitting in the pit of your stomach that entire week. 

You don’t realize you’ve fallen asleep until you’re woken by a series of rushed knocks on your pharmacy door. Getting out of bed reluctantly, you grab your apron, tying it around your waist and walking to the door in order to go see who it is. 

“Chamomile Pharmacy, how may I–” you start opening the door until you get sight of the person on the other side and quickly slam the door back in place. Why was Emperor Taeyong at your door?!? And why did you just slam the door in his face? Reopening the door, you start bowing and apologizing to the seemingly starstruck emperor at once. “I-I am so sorry Your Highness, I didn’t mean to do that, it’s just you caught me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting it to be you behind the door,” you hurriedly attempt to explain until Taeyong is knocked out of the way by his royal guard Doyoung. 

“We don’t have time for this right now. You can have your little–whatever this is later. We need you to make more of this medicine for Mr. Young immediately. We showed up at his house right as he passed out and this was on his counter!”        

Grabbing the bottle, you realize this is the heart elixir you made him some time ago, “Shit! Okay I’ll be right back. I need to go grab something out of the garden first,” You quickly tell the men, writing at the speed of light on a piece of paper. “Here, while I’m getting that I need you two to look and find these in that cabinet over there. I need everything ready for when I get back so I can quickly get this to him.” 

Rushing out into the garden, you quickly sort through various plants until you find the two you’re looking for. You barge back into the pharmacy to see that Doyoung and the emperor got a little over half of the ingredients down. “Okay, even though everything isn’t down yet I’m going to go ahead and get started. One of you, continue to look for everything while the other comes over here and gives me a hand. We have to hurry.” You are so focused on getting the medicine done that you don’t even notice Taeyong handing you the supplies. 

Finishing up the elixir and gathering all of the utensils, you stuff them into your rucksack and run out of the door. “We rode horses over here, it’s faster than on foot. Hop on Taeyong’s; we have to go,” Doyoung all but commands as he mounts his horse, already taking off. The adrenaline pumping through your system helps to keep you calm about the fact that you now have your arms wrapped around Taeyong’s waist and are currently on a horse with him. 

In no time you’re riding up to Mr. Young's homely brick house, the one that he and his late wife built back when they were younger. Pushing your way into the house, you see the old man lying on a cot on the floor. Taking everything out, you lie it on a towel next to you on the floor and pull on a pair of gloves. 

Quickly checking the old man's pulse, you let out a breath in relief that it’s still there but very faint. You take a pair of medical scissors and cut his shirt open. Grabbing the bottle containing the green elixir and a needle syringe you urgently but carefully extract some of the liquid from the bottle. At this point the silence in the room is deafening, but you’re only able to hear the white noise buzzing in your ears, blocking out any and all distractions. 

You check and make sure that it’s the right amount before giving the syringe a slight squeeze, pushing a few drops of the liquid out of the needle. Taking a deep breath, you harshly stab the needle into the man’s chest, forcing the liquid through the needle, unknowingly garnering stiff gasps from those who are watching. You immediately retract the syringe only to place your hand on the same spot, firmly yet softly massaging it. 

After massaging for a couple of minutes you sit back, bated breaths falling from your lips. “You can take him to his room now, he needs to rest. I’ll go make some tea for everyone.” Gathering your supplies, you take them to the kitchen to disinfect and sterilize them. Behind the doors of the kitchen you finally feel yourself calm down and it’s then that you notice the intense way in which your hands are shaking.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was going fine, and he was almost done making his rounds with everyone. One of the last people he had to meet with was Mr. Young, the sweet old man who always made him help pick things out of his garden, and that’s when the day took a turn. Was it for the worse? Taeyong didn’t know yet. Walking in on the man passed out on the floor shook Taeyong to his core. When he and Doyoung finally noticed the empty bottle on the countertop, they read the label which stated the pharmacy where the medicine was from. 

From there, they took two of the guard’s horses and were off to find the pharmacy. It’s there that Taeyong found you, though the circumstances were less than great. He still couldn’t believe you were right there in front of him, but the moment was over after Doyoung realized what was happening. Now that everything had calmed down and Mr. Young was okay, the fact that you were just a few steps away in the kitchen was eating at the emperor. 

“I don’t get why you just don’t go in there and talk to her.” Doyoung spoke suddenly, sounding bored with his life after noticing the way in which the king fidgeted in his chair, eyes constantly flitting to look back and forth from the kitchen door to his feet. 

“I mean, it’s not like she can do anything; you’re an emperor for god’s sake. Unless you want to continue being a creepy stalker, I suggest you go in there and tell her that you’ve been receiving her bouquets and you like them or some shit like that.” 

“I-I can’t just barge in there and–”

“He only had jasmine tea in his cabinets, so I hope there’s nothing wrong with that,” you say, walking into the living room with a tray of tea-filled cups in your hands. 

“Jasmine is fine,” Doyoung replied, simultaneously leaning down to pick up his cup. Taeyong suddenly couldn’t speak as you looked at him expectantly, wanting to make sure he was okay with jasmine tea. All he could do was look up at your glowing face with eyes that might as well be in the shape of hearts. “Ah jasmine is good for him as well. Forgive my liege, he's still a little shaken up from the situation.” 

With a soft nod you turn around, moving to make your way back into the kitchen. It was then that Taeyong’s mouth and mind decided to move as one. “Wait! Where are you going?”  

“Oh, uhm, I was going back to the kitchen. I figured you two would want to be alone,” you say, almost cradling the board to your body, gesturing awkwardly towards the door. 

“You don’t have to.  Why don’t you sit in here, with us?” 

“I mean, if you’re fine with that.”

“I’m fine, I’m more than fine.” The words were out of Taeyong’s mouth before he could even process them fully. You move to sit on the other side of the loveseat beside Taeyong. 

The sound of purposeful slurping provided by Doyoung barely sufficed at cutting the tension in the room. “I just remembered, we never seemed to have gotten your name?” Doyoung asked, ending the silence that layered the house. 

Quickly swallowing the tea in your mouth, you reply “Oh, I’m sorry, how rude of me, my name is Y/n. I’m the owner of Chamomile Pharmacy.” You add a bright smile at the end.

“Owner, huh? You must really like medicine.”  

“Hmm, I guess you could say that, but not really. I mainly just like flowers, and growing up I realized all the medicinal benefits they hold, so I figured why not make money and spend my life surrounded by what I love?” You sit back in the seat, seemingly comfortable now that you’re talking about a passion. “I get to help people while surrounded by plants all day; it’s a win-win.” 

“Mmhm, that sounds lovely. Oh, Taeyong.” The king’s head practically snaps up at the mention of his name. Spotting the mischievous look in his best friend's eyes, his stomach practically dropped to the floor. “You love flowers as well, specifically roses. Don’t you, Your Highness?” 

“I–”

“Yeah, I distinctly remember your love for roses starting after receiving a bouquet full of them every week.” Doyoung had no idea that this was the flower girl at first, but Taeyong could tell by the way he had been acting ever since you came around that he had come to piece it together–especially after you blatantly declared your love for flowers just a few mere seconds ago. 

At his words, your mouth fell open in pure unadulterated shock. The emperor had been receiving your bouquets?! And he liked them? You had no idea how to feel with all of the mixed emotions flowing through you. 

Wide eyed, you ask, “You’ve been receiving my bouquets, Your Highness?” 

Taeyong is flustered when he replies, “Y-Yes I have, they are very… nice. Thank you for them.”

“He really likes the little love notes you put in them,” Doyoung adds, deliberately putting the word love in front of notes. At his words, Taeyong throws the harshest glare he could at the other man, wishing he could strangle him with his eyes alone. 

While Taeyong was glaring daggers at the knight, you couldn’t help but feel sheepish. You thought you were giving those flowers away for nothing, only to realize that the emperor had been getting them and he liked them. Then you remembered that you had forgotten the note in your last one. 

“Ah, I just remembered that I forgot to put a note in the last one.” You speak bashfully, lowering your head. “Well, I didn’t forget, per say, I just didn’t have the time–an emergency came up while I was making it and I had to hurry. I didn’t think it would matter that much since you weren’t getting them, but now I know you were, so I feel bad.”

“No, it’s okay, I understand. There’s no need for you to feel bad, things happen.” Taeyong finally speaks, not liking the obvious way in which you blame yourself. Standing up, he motions to a door, stating that he has to use the restroom.

The room sits silent at Taeyong’s absence. You still feel guilty, but before you can think too hard about it, Doyoung shocks you out of your thoughts with a  question, “Y/n, why do you always give roses?”

“Hm? Oh, why roses? Well that's easy, because he’s The Rose Emperor .” Doyoung lifts an eyebrow in question. “Ah, I forgot that I’m the only one who calls him that,” you explain quickly. “Well, one of the reasons is because he has this beautiful rose-shaped scar right under his right eye. And I mean, he’s like a rose. Pretty and elegant and practically harmless to the unsuspecting eye, but he has thorns, which he uses to keep people away, thorns he uses to hide things from everyone, even those closest…”You trail off for a moment, thinking. “Hmm, if you think about it that way, wouldn’t that mean we're all like roses?” You speak nonchalantly, looking somewhat deeply into your cup of tea. “So that would make this world a bed of roses, wouldn’t it?” 

Standing but a few feet away, hiding behind a wall, the man in question couldn’t help but overhear. The way you talked and the words you used to describe him made his heart pound. You sounded so sweet and genuine, and he couldn’t help but believe every word you said. His hand uncontrollably caresses the scar you mentioned. He never noticed that it looked like a rose. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Doyoung, I need to borrow some of your clothes.” Busting into the guard’s room, the emperor pants quickly, garnering the man’s attention. 

“Wha–for what?”

“No questions, I just need them,” the young ruler says, walking into the man's wardrobe. “Oh and if you have a hat and mask, I’m going to take those, too.”

Taeyong’s presence in the shop is known as soon as he walks through the door, a bell ringing upon contact. Hurriedly pretending to scan the shelves as if searching extremely hard for something, Taeyong hears you enter the room through the back door moments later. 

“Sorry for not greeting you as soon as you came in. I was doing a little gardening in the back. Is there anything I can help you with today?” you ask, simultaneously washing the slight dirt off of your hands at the sink.

Knowing it would be rude to not acknowledge you, Taeyong turns to face you, self-consciously tugging on the mask resting on his face, not knowing if he wants you to know it’s him or not. You walk over after drying your hands, ready to help the customer, finally getting a good look at the man’s mask-covered face. You freeze in your spot, not knowing if you are just delusional or if Emperor Taeyong is actually standing in the middle of your pharmacy. 

“Uhh Your Highness..?” you question slowly, giving the stranger room to deny if needed. 

“I–uhmm yes,” Taeyong stutters, taking the mask off of his face, revealing his apparently not-so-secret identity. Despite breathing just fine a few seconds ago, Taeyong seems to not be able to when you give him a dazzling smile. You ask him why he’s here and if he needs anything. “Yes, I’m here because I, uhh, need something to help with… headaches! Yes, I get headaches, y’know, from reading papers all day.”

“I have just the thing to help with that! I get headaches myself, and I find that the plant Feverfew helps a good bit. The plant itself can be a little strong and could cause irritation to the mouth if chewed, so I just grind it up and make a nice little diluted concoction with it, and it does wonders,” you say, grabbing the bottle containing the liquid, placing it on the counter, and making your way to the other side so you could bag the medicine.

“I must warn you, though–it can have very light side effects that can cause nausea, digestive problems, and bloating.” Finishing up you place the now bagged medicine on the counter sliding it over to Taeyong. 

“Ah, how much do I owe?” 

“Nonsense, you’re good, consider it the Monarch's discount.” Thanking you, the emperor grabs the bag, making his way out the door, “Bye, come again.” 

After the first time, Taeyong continued to visit the store, each time for a different reason. He stayed a little longer each time he visited, finding himself wanting to indulge in your presence more and more. Even when you would go to the palace to deliver your weekly bouquets he would come out now just to start a conversation with you. You both would end up just sitting on the palace steps talking for hours on end. 

Now was one of the times when you would sit outside the palace talking with the king.  

“Your Highness, word was just sent in from the WayV kingdom, and there are forms to be signed urgently.” Doyoung addressed the young emperor, throwing an apologetic look at you for ruining your time together. 

A breath falls past your lips as you push yourself up. “Oh well, I guess that’s my cue to leave. See you later, Your High-” 

“Wait. Why don’t you come inside with me? This shouldn’t take too long.” 

You and Doyoung gape at the emperor, both in shock. Wanting to hurry and get things settled, Taeyong passes both of your almost statuesque bodies. Doyoung offers to show you around while Taeyong does his work but the emperor quickly refuses. “I’ll do it when I finish.”

Grabbing your wrist, Taeyong all but drags you to his office. There are so many twists and turns that you have no idea how Taeyong didn’t get lost. “You can sit over there on the couch in the foyer. I have some books on the shelf over there you can read if you want. I'll be right here behind this desk.”  

Taking in the extravagant office, you can’t help but notice how roses cover almost every single open surface possible. He really did keep every rose he got from you. Just that thought alone makes your heart pound so hard that you can hear it beating in your ears. Deciding you should do something before you look weird, you walk over to the shelf, surveying the books available to you. 

You pick a book that looks good enough and sit down on the couch.You try to focus on the words in front of you, but the room is warm, and the couch is comfortable, and your eyelids begin to feel heavy. You didn’t realize you fell asleep until you felt Taeyong gently shaking you awake. The sun had started to set, casting a beautiful warm golden glow around the room. 

 Taeyong sat beside you on the couch, still grasping your shoulder as you both stared intensely at each other. You felt yourself slowly leaning towards the beautiful man, almost as if you were in a trance. Taeyong couldn’t help but take in every gorgeous feature on your face as it was surrounded by a golden halo.

Moving his hands from your shoulder to the nape of your neck he pulls you in, no longer able to hide the attraction he has for you. Your lips mingled in a dance only privy to them. Leaving the one on your neck the other moves to the side of your face, Taeyong positions you just how he wants and you couldn’t help but to give in to him.  

It was as if his entire being consumed you and you had no choice but to follow his lead. Removing his mouth from yours he steadily transitions his lips lower splaying damp kisses all around your jugular. “Y-your highness, m-maybe we should stop.”

“Call me Taeyong darling and I don’t want to stop if you don’t.” he says, eyes flitting up to look at yours. “Do you want to stop?”

Feeling a fire burning in your stomach setting your lower regions ablaze, you know you can’t give him anything but the truth, “No, I don’t want to stop Taeyong.” Taeyong’s satisfied hum rumbles against your collarbone, “That’s my girl.” 

His lips find their way back to yours, an involuntary moan falling from yours as Taeyong pushes his tongue inside your mouth. He takes his time exploring your mouth as if he wanted to get acquainted with every nook and cranny. When he took his lips away this time it was as if he took your soul right with him. A small discontent whine leaves your mouth causing the male to coo, “Aww look at my precious rose, so needy already.”

He plants a small peck on your lips pushing you to lay back on the couch, “May I remove your pants darling?” Giving him a small head nod he starts to lower himself down to your now wet core. Your underwear comes off right along with your pants and the slightly cool air hitting your hot core feels almost heavenly. 

Lifting your legs on top of his shoulders Taeyong plants soft kisses along your pelvic region finally deciding to stop teasing he licks a long slow stripe up your wet pussy making sure to give a little more pressure right onto your clit. 

Taeyong’s hands move to sit in the crevice of your pelvis, tightening his grip simultaneously bringing you closer to his mouth as he proceeds to contort his tongue between your soft lips as a pianist moves their fingers across the keys aiming to hit the right notes to make you sing.

Your voice cracks almost violently as endless moans drip from your lips like sap out a tree. Eyes sealed shut you can’t help but to see stars as Taeyong makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. His soft hair rests between your fingers latching onto the strands for dear life as you attempt to somehow ground yourself. 

If he wasn’t holding you down you know for a fact that you would be humping his face akin to a dog in heat. “Fuck.” he moans between your legs sending vibrations all the way down your body. Suckling your lips between his as he looks up at your face scrunched in pleasure, “Open your eyes baby, look at me.” 

You should not have had as much trouble as you did opening your eyes but after a few seconds you finally were able to do so. “I want you to focus on me baby, watch me eat this succulent pussy of yours until you cum.” One of his hands moves, transitioning to start rubbing your clit applying ample pressure. 

His tongue starts to prod at the opening to the place in which you seemed to want him the most right now. The combination of his mouth and hands was too much and you felt your legs start shaking as you alerted Taeyong of your oncoming orgasm. “That’s it baby, cum for me. I want to see it.” 

You didn’t even know your voice could go as high as it did in that moment. Your labored breaths were halted as Taeyong pressed his wet lips to yours causing you to taste yourself on his lips. “You still up for that tour?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Your Highness, there have been reports of an outbreak of some sorts. For right now it’s small but we have no idea what it is or where it came from.” Doyoung says, ending his report on current events. 

“Okay, since this is something we have no prior dealings with we need to tread carefully. Get everyone who might be infected and make sure they’re getting proper care. Talk to them, see what their symptoms are and ask what they were doing before they got sick. Maybe we can try and piece together how you contract it.”  

“Should we alert the public, Your Highness?” 

“No, not for now at least. This is still manageable. We don't want to scare everyone for no reason.” Finishing up his duties, Taeyong starts to head to your house. 

You had yet to talk to Taeyong about what happened that day despite having seen each other multiple times since then. Not like you regretted it or anything you just felt bad about Taeyong servicing you and you not being able to return the favor. You were interrupted in the middle of your naughty thoughts when you heard soft knocks ring against the door not to the pharmacy but to your house placed on the side of the pharmacy. 

Answering the door you only expected to see one person on the other side of the door. “Hi Taeyong.” you breathe softly gazing at the male opposite you. 

“Hello my rose.” placing a kiss on his lips you let him enter the room. Taeyong pulls two books out from his bag and you hurriedly rush over to where Taeyong sits on your bed grabbing your book as Taeyong pulls you onto his lap. Reading for a while your mind can’t help but to go back to what happened. 

Taeyong can feel the air in the room change as you squirm on his lap. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” 

“Uhh nothing Yongie.” 

Grabbing a hold of your waist Taeyong lowers his head to your ear, “It doesn’t feel like nothing darling.” His warm breath hits your ears as he slowly lets his tongue dart out and lick a stripe up the shell of your ear. 

“I- just want to pleasure you as well. Last time you only focused on me and I want to return the favor.” you speak turning around in the male’s lap legs wrapping around his waist. You bring the male into a feverous/feverish? Kiss. You hear his breath hitch as you slowly grind down onto his semi hard dick, and you feel the grip he has on your waist tighten. 

Moving yourself to Taeyong’s thigh instead of his entire lap. You maneuver his pants off leaving his boxers on. You slip your hand between your bodies reaching for Taeyong’s boxer clad cock. Lightly squeezing while massaging his length you lean forward gingerly planting kisses along his neck swirling your tongue on each spot you kiss. 

“Shit Y/n.”

“You want me to take it out, Yongie? Do you want me to wrap my hands around your hard dick and rub you till you cum all over my hands.” you tease applying more pressure to his hard appendage, “Hmm maybe I’ll even let you watch me lick your cum off of my hands.” 

“Oh Fuck yes.” 

“That doesn’t sound like begging to me baby.” 

“Hmm please baby, please take it out and make me cum.”

You grin, squeezing his now fully hard cock harder, “Well since you asked so nicely.”  Your hand moves to the band of his boxers removing the clothing. His erect penis pops up, slapping the male’s clothed abdomen after finally being released.

You let a few drops of spit fall onto the palm of your hand before giving Taeyong what he wants, gripping him. You slowly start to work your hand up and down his stiff cock fluctuating the strength you use to grip it.

“How does that feel Tae? Are you enjoying yourself sweetheart?” you whisper in his ear speeding up your ministrations. A broken moan falls from the semi pouted lips of the emperor. The feel of your hand gripping his cock felt like heaven he could barely think. 

The slick sound of your hand going up and down his dick was all that could be heard throughout the room. Taking your other hand you begin to not only stroke his length but also fondle his balls. “Ah, Y/n I’m not going to last much longer please make me cum.” Wanting to give him what he wanted you run the pad of your thumb along the underside of him and slowly massage the bundle of nerves just under the head. 

As soon as you do, a whimper leaves Taeyong’s lips as his head falls forward resting on your shoulder. His mouth starts sucking on any pieces of exposed skin he can find and you feel him mumble against your shoulder, “I’m cumming.” His warm release falls onto your hands covering them as you try to squeeze out every last drop. Raising your hand to your mouth you lick some of the cum off of your hand tasting him. 

“Fuck sweetie you’re gonna be the death of me.”

“Taeyong. It’s gotten worse. The illness has started spreading; our attempt at keeping it contained was a failure. While it did slow the spread, it did nothing to stop it.”

Slamming his hand on the desk Taeyong couldn’t help but to curse, “Fuck! Did you at least figure out how it’s contracted and its symptoms?” 

“Yes, after questioning the patients it became pretty clear that it wasn’t contracted in any specific way. Almost all have reports of having been in public settings surrounded by a lot of people and said a few days later they caught a pretty nasty cold. Instead of it going away like a normal cold does, it started to get worse, pretty soon they couldn't move at all, not even lift a finger. After developing hot flashes, they start to lose the ability to speak, and you know they are about to die when they start to have rashes appear upon their skin.” 

“Have you asked the doctors if they can find a cure?” 

“Yes, we have already put them onto it, but for now there is nothing.”

Thinking about what he should do, Taeyong's hand comes up to scratch his jawline. He knows that he has to alert the public of the outbreak now. “Okay, since there is no discernible way in which they get it, we can assume for now that it is passed from excessive human contact. Doyoung, I need you to release a statement stating that there should be no excessive contact between everyone. If able to avoid big crowds then stay away.” 

Writing the commands down in a notebook, Doyoung asks, “Anything else?” 

“Yes, since it has gotten a lot bigger now, the public must be alerted, even though by now I am sure they have each heard their own variations of what’s happening. It’s better to tell them the truth than lie. We need everyone to be fully informed with correct information so that they don’t make things worse.” A tired sigh falls from his lips, “Release a doctor’s statement. I want the royal doctor to make a statement that will tell the public all they need to know about this new illness so they can protect themselves.”

“On it, Your Highness.” Doyoung says, turning around and quickly heading out the door. You were supposed to come visit Taeyong today. He's glad he gets to see you. You always make things better for him. You walk into Taeyong’s office to him writing something in a notebook. He was so involved in what he was writing that he didn’t hear you come in.  

“Hey Yongie.” Walking over to the male, you see him raise his head from the paper, looking at you with a dazzling smile. 

“Hello, beautiful.” Taeyong pulls you into his lap, “How was your day, my rose?” You start rambling on about what was going on at the pharmacy, and Taeyong finds himself zoning out looking at you talking animatedly about a customer you had today. It’s times like these where Taeyong realizes he could never live his life without you. 

Taeyong has been really busy lately, dealing with the disease outbreak. You guys have hardly seen each other. New word had been put out about the disease after one of the people who are believed to have gotten it first were found. Sadly they were on their last string, but their family said something about them eating a strange fruit some odd days before they had gotten sick. 

Business for you has practically skyrocketed, people hurrying to get all types of medicines just out of plain fear that they might contract the disease. Even though there is no cure yet, they still think that arthritis medicine will somehow help them. 

You had secretly been working on your own attempt at creating a cure, wanting to help Taeyong and get some of the pressure off of his shoulders and wanting to help the people affected by this disease. Of course it has gotten nowhere, but at least you try. 

You had asked Taeyong what the fruit that their family said they ate looked like in hopes of being able to find it and base an antidote off of that. He gave you the same description they gave him, but it didn’t lead anywhere. Noticing how empty the pharmacy had become, you felt it was the perfect time to go pick up some bread. 

Flipping the sign and locking the door you head towards the bakery. Ever since the decree had been made for people to not group together, the streets had been the emptiest you had ever seen. Walking in, you couldn’t help but notice the other people that stood around talking waiting on their baked goods. Putting in your order, you stand off to the side. 

“You know, they say that Emperor Taeyong has caught the disease.”

“What?! You can’t be serious.” 

“Why would I joke about something like that?” the first lady says, looking well over offended. “I have a friend who has a cousin who has a brother who has a boyfriend that works in the palace.” 

“Woah, so you basically know the emperor.” 

“Exactly. I swear on it, the emperor has the disease.” You proceed to tune out the gossiping women on the other side of the room. You know that there’s a good chance the lady is lying, but what if Taeyong has the disease? He hasn’t come to visit in a few days. You feel your chest constrict at the mere thought. 

You’re so distraught that you don’t hear the baker telling you your order is ready until after she walks up to you and hands you your bread. “Oh, uhh thank you.” Giving the lady a small nod, you walk out of the bakery.

When you get back to the house, you check for mail and find some in the mailbox next to your door. Picking it up, you notice the royal insignia on the envelope. Figuring it’s from Taeyong, you instantly start to tear it open.

Hello my rose, I don’t know how to say this to you, but I’m sick, really sick. I got the disease. I’m so sorry darling. Worst of all is I can’t even see you. I absolutely forbid you from coming here. Do you hear me? From now until we meet again, we can communicate by letter. I love you so much, my rose. 

Love, Your Yongie

As your mind slowly starts to register the note, your knees instantly give out, bringing you to the floor of your living room. You can barely register the sting from the impact. You couldn’t help but let out a broken gut-wrenching cry. Your tears feel like fire as they run down your face. You clutch your heart; it’s as if you can feel it breaking. 

Everyday Taeyong sends you a letter and everyday you put it in the pile with the others. It broke your heart every time you would put the letters unopened together with the others and never wrote a response back, but recently you had thrown your entire being into finding a cure for the disease. You couldn’t risk another breakdown like when you first found out, because every single second matters. 

Every second you spend trying to find a cure brings you closer to a forever with Taeyong, and you couldn’t risk that. You still open and run the pharmacy like normal, but even then you spend all of your time asking customers everything they know about the disease and whatever anyone they knew who had it was going through. 

Lately, the way you’ve been going at it was to find the fruit that supposedly started it all and find out why the human body reacts so badly to it. You just managed to find it yesterday while you were out in the forest for the third time hunting for it. You were planning to do some tests and see what you possibly can do. 

A series of harsh knocks rain upon the pharmacy door and the irritation at the possible customer shows on your face. “I’m sorry but we’re clo–” Your sentence stops abruptly as Doyoung harshly shoves past you, the anger and tension in his body evident.

“You know, you have some fucking nerve. Taeyong is literally dying right now, he is fucking dying yet he still manages to write you everyday. And on days when he can’t muster the strength he gets someone to write what he says.” Whipping his body around he faces you, face scrunched in a horrendous snarl, “And you can’t even take the time to write a fucking letter back. All you do is sit in this pharmacy and play in your stupid garden all day.”

It’s then that he notices the pile of letters sitting neatly on your desk, a scoff pushes its way past his lips, “Oh my fucking god, you didn’t have the decency to even open them. Have you ever even loved him? Tell me. Honestly.” He stares directly into your eyes, the fire in them seemingly endless. “Or was he just some toy? A part in some plan you had to get rich and become an empress or some shit. Did you just use my best friend for your own selfish reasons?” 

Your mouth opens, preparing to say something only for it to close again. Repeating that process multiple times you find out that there were no words you could say that would satisfy him. “And it’s funny because if that was your plan, then it worked. I know you don’t know but Taeyong planned to propose, he wanted–no, wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I wasn’t supposed to tell you, but oh well.” At his statement, your mouth falls open again, leaving you utterly speechless. 

A moment of silence passes and a heavy sigh from the male fills the air. He stares tiredly at your desk, exasperated. “He’s dying, simple as that. Doctor says he doesn’t have much longer before the rashes start popping up. His estimate was at most two weeks.” With his face angled away from you, the tears that streamed down his face weren’t visible. “Do what you will with that information. I don’t have the time for this.” 

Turning his body, Doyoung walks out the door, leaving a chill in the air. You don’t even have it in you to cry. Your sorrow runs farther than any river in the world, yet the thought that kept you from breaking down was Taeyong’s smile. Then you realized you would never be able to see it again if there was no cure. Swiping  away the tears that managed to fall, you get back to work. Taeyong wasn’t going to die on your watch. 

Your chest felt so tight, like it was squeezing all of the air out of your lungs. You could barely feel the shock of your heavy footfalls on the pavement as you ran like your life depended on it. The steps to the palace have never seemed longer as you ran, hoping you made it in time. Passing guards all were blurs as you swore you were running at the speed of light. 

Making your way to Taeyong’s room, you see a distraught Doyoung crouched outside of the door. His silent cries cued your heart to fall to your aching feet. Barely able to get the words out you ask, “Am I too late, is-is he g-gone?” Your voice broke as you spoke those words. Doyoung doesn’t say anything as he silently raises his head to look at you. “I can’t be late. I-I found it, I found the cure. I have the cure to save Taeyong.” 

Not able to withstand Doyoung’s gaze, you burst through the king’s bedroom doors, instantly spotting the palace doctor at his bed. Taeyong lays lifelessly on the bed, chest barely managing to move up and down. This was not the Taeyong you knew, not the man you fell in love with. This man was just but a shell of him. You had never seen his skin so pale, his face sunken in to the point where you can easily see his cheekbones you loved to rain kisses on. 

“Doctor.” Your gaze shifts from the sleeping male to the doctor beside him, “He’s not… dead, is he?”

“No, not yet, but I do recommend you give your last goodbyes.” 

Walking up the man, you forcefully push the vial containing the cure into his hands, “Here, this is the cure.” Broken stutters leave the man's mouth as he questions the integrity of your statement. “Listen, we don’t have a lot of time; just trust that it will work. I have tested it on five different people, all of varying ages, and four out of five of those people survived. The only reason the fifth didn’t was because they were too far gone.” 

You update the doctor on what the antidote is and what it does. “The antidote is not a cure per say, it doesn’t get rid of the disease. I studied the fruit that the disease stems from and something in the DNA of it, let's just say it doesn't agree with something in our DNA, which causes basically an allergic reaction times 100. This antidote soothes the part of our DNA that reacts so badly, and that in turn stops the allergic reaction so that it doesn’t kill us. Now that I’ve wasted time explaining that to you, can we please get the antidote in his system?”

All of your talking caused the sickly emperor to awaken to your voice in the room with him. “Y/n, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to not come here. I-” 

“Taeyong, calm down, baby, please. I am here to save you.” You nod to the doctor giving him the go for the injection. “The doctor is about to inject the cure for the disease into you, then you’re going to get better for me, okay?”

After administering the shot, Taeyong had fallen asleep again from lack of energy. It had been 10 hours and you sat every single one on his bedside, wanting to be the first to see him. In those 10 hours, you told the doctor how to make more of the cure so that he could get it to everyone, and Doyoung finally came into the room after hearing what you had done, and gave you a proper apology for snapping at you. 

You feel a hand grip yours, and you snap your head up to see Taeyong looking back at you with a smile as big as he could conjure right now placed on his face. Quickly handing him some water, you start to question how he feels. Telling you he feels the best he has in weeks was good enough to satiate you for now. 

When Taeyong had finally convinced you to lay in bed with him, you chose this moment to give him his answer. 

“Yes.” A look of confusion covers Taeyong’s face as he wonders what you are saying yes to. “Yes, I will marry you.”  

You and Taeyong decided not to have a huge wedding, instead choosing to hold a ceremony with just a few of your closest friends, but you did have to present yourself to the empire now as the new empress.

“Are you ready, my rose?” Taeyong asks, walking up behind you in front of the mirror, enclosing his arms around your waist. You turn around to look at him directly, taking in his attire. 

“Why do you have such a heavy robe?” you question, noticing the heavy piece of clothing. You’d always wondered that whenever you would see him out of the palace. 

Shrugging his shoulders, Taeyong plants a kiss upon your cheek, “I-I don’t know it’s just customary, I never thought to change it.”

“Well, for my first decree as empress, I declare that you get a new robe, a lighter one.” you say, dusting the imaginary dust off of his shoulders. “You don’t need to have such a heavy weight on your shoulders. You can tell it weighs you down. I don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

“Will do, my empress. Come, we have to go now.” 

It was getting to the last leg of the parade the citizens held in your honor. You felt so welcome by everyone. You were expecting people to hate you because you weren’t already a royal before you married Taeyong. “How are you holding up, darling? I know these things can take a lot out of people.”

“I am fine, my love, just slightly tired.” You can’t help but wave at every person you see, feeding off of their enthusiasm. Overcome with emotion, Taeyong can’t help it when he cradles your face in his hands, lowering his head whilst tilting yours to give him room, and plants a loving kiss upon your cheek. Your cheeks were on fire at his public display of affection in front of everyone, yet you found yourself fully indulging in the kiss, closing your eyes in hopes of savoring the moment. The kiss caused an uproar within the crowd, the citizens ecstatic at the relationship between you both. 

“Taeyong, what was that earlier today? Why’d you kiss me?” 

“I’m sorry, baby. I couldn’t help it when I saw you and how happy you looked waving at everyone,” he explains pulling you into another kiss, but this time on the lips. Slowly the kiss becomes heated and you start pawing at each other's clothes, almost ripping them off. Taeyong plants kisses along your neck as you begin to fondle his soft manhood. 

You feel Taeyong’s hand slide to your cunt rubbing your clit, “Looks like someones already ready for me. I wonder who made you this wet sweetie.” he taunts, slowly pressing one finger inside of you then a second curving them up and spreading them out in order to stretch your tight hole. Your low breathy moans fill the room bouncing off of each and every wall. 

Pretty soon you both are ready, blindly walking yourself to the bed you land on the soft cushion with an oomph. Taeyong slowly grinds his now hard cock up and down your slit puposely prodding at your clit. You wriggle your hips silently begging the male to hurry up and put it in. 

Giving into you because he was just as excited Taeyong finally slides himself in, his stiffness getting completely engulfed by your wet hot cavern. “Mmm, I’ll never get used to how well your needy pussy takes me in baby.” His slow thrusts simultaneously scratching that itch but just enough to make it come back for more.

“Harder Tae, I need to feel you wreck me.” Granting your wish taeyong stops the gentle loving strokes, swapping them out for a harsher more unforgiving thrusts. His hips smack yours as Taeyong puts what feels like all the power he has in his thrusts. You close your eyes and see stars as Taeyong fucks your soul out of you. His hands have an unforgiving grip on your waist, one going up to massage your breast, teasing your nipple.

Taeyong starts laying kisses along your body leaving purple spots in his wake. “ I want everyone to see that you are mine and I am yours forever and always.” Whispering in your ear, “Go ahead and cum for me baby, let everyone know what we’re doing so they can see who you belong to.” 

You all but scream Taeyong’s name out in pure ecstasy as you cum the hardest you ever have to date. It felt as if you had been transported to another world. Taeyong cums right behind you filling you to the brim with his seed. “It’s a little too late to say this now but I think it’s about time we start thinking about children.” He says pulling himself out of your now swollen lower region. 

“Oh my god shut up, I hate you,” you cry, out rolling your eyes

“I love you too, my rose.” 

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Post Season 8 fanfic recommendations

Hey! So, I’ve been working on this for a while. I’ve read so many good Hyde/Jackie stories, and I feel like it’s a waste not to share them.

I tried to separate everything in categories, but some fics fit in more than one category and honestly it was just a mess. So I've separated them the best way that I could. I’m going to post the categories separately, and after I’m done I’ll make a masterpost with links to each of the categorized posts, as suggested by @springsteenicious and @those70scomics (thank you both for the help!).

Even though this is only one category, it’s still a long post, as I’ve said before, I’ve read many fanfics. I don’t know if I should edit this and add more stories as they’re out (for instance, I have a post season 8 story that I’m planning on posting soon) or if I should just leave things this way. Please let me know if you think I left out a good story or if you have any suggestions.

I’ve read and enjoyed ALL of these stories, they’re all very good. All the stories mentioned here are post season 8 stories. I’ll post stories that take place during season 8 next. I hope everyone enjoys it!

20 Questions by ShanghaiLily

Just after New Year's day in 1980, Jackie Burkhart decides to disappear from the basement to save her sanity. When Christmas rolls around and the Formans beg Jackie to attend their party, she ends up involved in an elaborate game of 20 Questions with Hyde that could change both of their lives.

This story is almost entirely T rated, but there is smut in some chapters. The author placed a warning in the notes of the chapters that contain steamy scenes, so you can easily skip it if it makes you uncomfortable.

This story is complete.

71k words, 21 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna and Kelso/Brooke

After the End by araleebo

Who's to say what happens after the end? Jackie finally thought she could get her happily ever after with the guy of her dreams in the new decade. For a while, she was right. Then, the worst few days of her life happened.

This story is complete.

34k words, 6 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

All That I Got by AdriDee

After being an asshole to her during most part of 1979, Hyde decides it’s time for redemption. And to win Jackie back, he must work on himself first.

Their journey in this story is beautiful, and amazingly written. The story is complete.

122k words, 22 chapters.

Rated M for smut in some chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Fez/Laurie, Red/Kitty

Back to the 70’s by Wicked Chocolate

The 80s had barely begun before they start to crash around Jackie, maybe an Angel can grant her a trip back to the 70s and give her a second chance with Hyde. How will the events we know unfold now that Jackie has the knowledge and opportunity to change them?

Trigger warning: Major Character Death, kind of.

73k words, 10 chapters.

Rated M.

This story is not complete, but it’s worth the read.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna.

Also available on AO3

Back to Their Roots by Hart-of-Tree-Hill

Who doesn’t love a friends with benefits story?

Jackie and Hyde decide to have a no strings attached relationship after everything, but we all know those don't work.

This story is not complete and it makes me sad :( I still have hope that the author will update this someday. It kind of ends on a cliffhanger so it’s totally up to you if you want to read this or not.

13k words, 4 chapters.

Rated T, surprisingly

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Before The Summer Ends by 107derwent

Summer is stupid. It makes you act stupid. Makes you stupid ,

This story is complete.

4k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Catch the Bouquet by heatherlea75

Fate has been unkind to Jackie Burkhart for too long. She has a plan to change that, and to obtain what is rightfully hers a glorious wedding. Though she doesn't know it, she needs a little help, and a surprising person is perfectly willing to offer it.

This story is complete, and it has an adorable sequel, called Pop The Question.

6k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Charm Bracelets and Lighters by Aaliamad

Set three years after the series finale. Jackie’s been living a new, fabulous life in Chicago, what she didn’t know was that Hyde was also living in the same city as hers.

They eventually run into each other in a nightclub and have a special reunion. Can things be different between them this time?

Rated T.

This story is complete.

72k words, 36 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Chasing Windmills by c00kiefic

Four chapter short story about their journey back to each other after season 8. To be honest I love all the stories by this author, but this one is definitely one of my favs.

This story is complete.

11k words, 4 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Daddy’s Home by Hyde’s Bride

Jackie moved to Chicago after she had nothing left for her back in Point Place, but after two years, something awful happened to her. A certain burnout wants redemption but she finds herself in the middle of a pretty complicated dilemma.

Trigger warning: rape.

39k words, 14 chapters.

Rated M.

This story is complete.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Red/Kitty, Fez/Laurie

Date Night by SwanseaGurl

Hyde has been trying to get Jackie back for a while now, but after everything that happened between them, she's not willing to give him another chance. But he's also not willing to give up on her.

One day, a drunk and lonely Donna tries to make a move on Hyde and Jackie witnesses everything, will it change things between them?

Donna's not a really cool person in this fic, so be warned.

Rated T.

This story is complete.

11k words, 5 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Everybody Must Get Stoned by ShanghaiLily

After new year's 1980, huge fights break out between Eric & Donna and Jackie & Hyde. Both feeling the need to escape their problems, Jackie & Eric drive the VC to Mexico. Who gets shot? Who flees the country? Who comes out of the closet?

This story is amazingly written. I always appreciate a good story with amazing Jackie/Eric friendship moments. It’s complete.

129k words, 29 chapters.

Rated T, with some M chapters. The author placed a warning before the sexy scenes in case you’re uncomfortable with it.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna. And if you have a soft spot for Jackie/Eric, you might like the beginning of the story.

Everyone Thinks I Dodged a Bullet by MonDieu666

When Hyde and Jackie are the only ones to see a murder, they're placed into witness protection. Living under the same roof is one thing but lines begin to blur when they're forced to pretend to be married and memories from the past begin to resurface.

This story is amazing and it makes me smile. And it’s complete.

69k words, 16 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Fatherhood by varietyofwords

The birth of Betsy and Kelso taking on the role of father has gotten Hyde thinking about fatherhood.

This story is absolutely beautiful. And it’s complete.

10k words, 6 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Fire in the Light by Noducksinpond

The eighties are almost ending and a certain couple is reunited.

This story is complete.

31k words, 14 chapters.

Rated M

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Kelso/Brooke, Eric/Donna

Heart Like Yours by PoetDameron

This is the first That 70s Show fanfiction I’ve ever read, and it’s absolutely beautiful. It’s based on the book “If I stay” and it’s amazing.

I’ve also read all of the other t70s stories by this author, and I highly recommend them.

Trigger warnings for drug use.

Rated T.

This story is complete.

139k words, 22 chapters total

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke

Also available on AO3.

Keep Me by 107derwent

Jackie and Hyde managed to be friends after all the crap that happened in season 8. She’s there for him when he needs her the most. Will that rekindle old feelings between them?

This story is complete.

20k words, 10 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Like a Rolling Stone by elphabacan

Ashleigh 'Ash' Burkhart is a typical teenage girl. She never knew her father, and never cared to. Until she stumbled upon a new record store in a Minneapolis Neighborhood....

Beautiful writing. This story is complete.

50k words, 16 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Mamma Mia! That 70s Show style by love.devil.movies

Inspired by the classic Mamma Mia movie. Jackie is in Hawaii for Eric and Donna’s wedding and she finds herself between three of her exes.

This story is complete (and it’s a super fun read).

26k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna and Red/Kitty

Mired by Tandy

Five years after she moved to California, Jackie goes back to Point Place to attend an important event. She ran into someone special and it turns out that a trip down memory lane is not as simple as it sounds.

This story is complete.

22k words, 7 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Never Tear us Apart by MinaSeraphina

Unlike 90% of the stories I’ve recommended so far, this one focuses on the entire gang. Each chapter is focused on one of the characters and they all have their own storylines.

This story is complete.

14k words, 6 chapters.

Rated T

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Fez/Laurie

New Resolution by c00kiefic

Jackie is getting married and Hyde is not the groom. What happens when Hyde and the gang decide that they need to stop this wedding?

This story is complete.

16k words, 4 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Not a Thing to do but Talk to You by Willofthewisp

This story is not focused on Jackie and Hyde. It’s focused on the entire gang, and it’s beautiful.

It alternates between present time and flashbacks, but season 8 did happen in this story, that’s why I placed it in this category. It’s complete.

53k words, 30 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke

November Rain by luvcali

After a torrid encounter on Halloween night, 1984, ex-lovers Jackie and Hyde spend the next month reevaluating their past.

This story is complete.

373k words, 33 chapters.

Rated M for sexy scenes.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Brooke/Kelso and Fez/OC

Nowhere But Lost by Zenkindoflove

Hyde is cynical, depressed, alone, and would really like to keep it that way. But what happens when something inside of him resurfaces and is more than unhappy about his current living arrangements?

This story is complete.

52k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

One More Time by CarouselUnique

Jessie Forman thought she knew a lot of things; who she could trust, who her parents were, even what was possible in the world around her. One snowy night, all three of these things change. Now, stuck back around 1978 - she's left in the worst situation possible to figure out where to go from there.

This story is a WIP, it’s been a while since it was updated, but I’m pretty sure the author is coming back to this story one day!

14k words, 4 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, past Jackie/Eric

Reelin’ In The Years by JoyfulHeartEO

I placed this story on the post-season 8 category, but there are some small differences that made me kind of lost in what category to place this. Season 8 happened, but Sam never left and Jackie and Fez never happened. It takes place on New Years.

Rated M.

This story is complete and it has a sequel, it’s called Crazy Love.

89k words, 20 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Red/Kitty

See Me, Feel Me by elphabacan

Hyde wants Jackie back, Jackie wants nothing to do with him after everything that happened. The boys find out about Jackie’s secret love for The Who, and while Fez and Eric fantasize about it, Hyde sees it as an opportunity.

This story is complete.

10k words, 4 chapters.

Rated M. Very much M. You’ve been warned.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Second Chances by Flowers_For_Flamingos

Hyde's life has snowballed since Jackie's death. He moved back in with the Formans, Donna and Eric live far away, Fez was who the hell knows where, and Kelso....Hyde didn't think about Kelso. But one cold rainy night, while Hyde is drunk he causes an accident that sends him spiraling back in time to almost ten years ago, when everyone still liked each other. When Jackie was still alive.

This story made me cry so hard. It’s beautifully written, please read it.

It’s a WIP (work in progress, which means it’s being updated).

32k words, 15 chapters for now.

Trigger warning: Major Character death

Rated T

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

She’s The Devil by starfalls

It’s Halloween 1980, and the gang takes an ill-fated trip to a party that leads to some major revelations between Jackie and Hyde.

I could literally picture everything happening in my head while I read this story and I laughed so hard during some parts. All the characters are on point.

This story is complete.

30k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna.

Stages by c00kiefic

I love everything this person ever wrote. Seriously. EVERYTHING.

Hyde’s there for her when Jackie goes through hell.

This story is not complete and it pains me. It has SO MUCH potential. Every now and then I reread it because it’s so good. I think it’s worth the read.

7k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna and Red/Kitty.

That’s My Baby by kezztip

Jackie focuses on her career after the disaster that was 1979, and moves to Chicago after getting an amazing new job. Before she left, Hyde convinced the whole gang to throw her a surprise party for her, so he could try and make amends. Jackie ends up leaving the party angry as hell, what she didn’t know was that she left the party with a special souvenir inside of her.

This story makes me laugh SO HARD. The author managed to write all the characters perfectly. Please read this.

This story is complete.

68k words, 23 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Red/Kitty, Brooke/OC.

The First and Only Mrs. Hyde by The Queen Of Wallflowers

As it turns out, Sam is Hyde's second wife. He married his first when he was six. Mrs. Forman has the pictures to prove it. Now he just has to make it legal.

Donna’s kind of a bitch in this story, so if you don’t like stories like that, this might not be for you. But I do think this is an excellent story.

This story is fluffy and just perfect in general. Please read it.

It’s almost complete, and I still have hope that someday the author will actually finish this.

32k words, 12 chapters so far.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also available on AO3

The Morning After by ShanghaiLily

Sequel to the one-shot Resolutions. Jackie wakes up in Vegas laying in bed with her very sexy ex-boyfriend and a tacky wedding band on her finger.

This story is complete.

59k words, 10 chapters.

Rated M for smut.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Fez/Caroline, Eric/Donna

The One with the Tee Shirt by c00kiefic

In which Jackie tries to get closure, Hyde's in denial and Donna plays middlewoman.

This story is complete.

18k words, 5 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

The Secret of Katherine by heatherlea75

Jackie and Hyde are keeping a secret from their daughter, one they fear will hurt her. When someone decides to tell her that secret, will it destroy her relationship with her parents?

Rated T.

This story is not complete, but it’s worth the read.

23k words, 8 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

The Sweetest Gifts by zeppelinandunicorns (myself)

It’s a known fact that post season 8 stories tend to be angsty, but this one is not.

This is a fluffly story that narrates Jackie and Hyde’s journey through parenthood. It will be part of a series, I got too attached to this universe, lol.

Rated T.

This story is complete.

26k words, 3 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Wall by Tayi

The new decade begins and Hyde finds himself alone in the basement listening to the latest Pink Floyd album, and the song "Hey you" suddenly has a new meaning. Now as the days turn into weeks, it feels like the whole album is haunting him until it helps him fix the mistakes of the past few months .

This story is complete and it has a sequel, that it’s updated constantly. Its called Over The Hills and Far Away.

14k words, 16 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Things Change by shy1214

Jackie's life wasn't going well, she was alone and her friends were no longer actual friends. She had lost the love of her life and everything else, especially her once incredible confidence. A new strange friend might help her find it, and give her hope again.

This story has plenty of OC’s that crawled their way into my heart.

Donna is not a nice person in this story.

112k words, 28 chapters.

Rated T

This story is complete AND it has a sequel, it’s called Lock, Step and Gone.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde. And that’s pretty much it other than the pairings between the original characters.

Voulez-vouz by zeppelinandunicorns (me)

To celebrate her birthday, Jackie convinces Hyde to take her on a romantic trip, but Las Vegas wasn't exactly where she wanted to go, and she definitely didn't want to take the rest of the basement gang with her. Frustrated, Jackie thought that the trip was ruined, but Hyde's willing to make it unforgettable. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?

This story is complete.

13k words, 5 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke

Also available on AO3

War Stories by Jenny7

It's 1980, and Hyde is more lost now than ever. When Hyde gives into the man and joins the Army, against all he's ever believed in, it will take friendship, family, and a love stronger than distance and time to get him through.

I was reluctant to read this at first, because c’mon, it’s Hyde, he would never willingly work for “the man”, but as I started to read it, everything made sense, and I fell in love with it.

This story is complete.

31k words, 24 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Mainly just Jackie/Hyde

Welcome to Jackie’s by TeaTimeAllOverTown

Jackie moves to Chicago shortly after season 8 to live out her dream. But when a happy, confident Jackie returns to Point Place will her past upset her future?

This story is complete.

38k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Mostly Jackie/Hyde

What Lies Beneath by SophiesRoses

THIS STORY IS PERFECT AND YOU SHOULD READ IT RIGHT NOW.

Seriously.

This story deserves way more recognition, it’s one of my favorites of all time.

Trigger warnings for alcoholism, heavy drug use

Rated M because there are a few sex scenes, but don't let this discourage from reading the story.

This story is not complete, but I still recommend it. A lot.

119k words, 28 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/OC, Kelso/Brooke, Donna/OC, Fez/Laurie

Yet Another Season 9 by elphabacan

Picking up on New Years Day, the group has eight months before Donna and Eric leave for Madison. New faces, new stories, and many MANY changes are in store.

Rated T.

This story is complete.

94k words, 25 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Fez/OC, Red/Kitty

Post Season 8 one-shots:

Be Hers by c00kiefic

Hyde and Jackie talk while they’re on the road.

Rated M.

4k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Burn War Snapped by SkittleLvr79

Can an ultimatum from their friends lead to the end of a long, bitter feud?

Rated M. Very M.

3k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Canada by angelwithawand

They agreed not to talk about marriage in The United States. Luckily Canada is close.

Rated T.

418 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Could’ve Been, Should’ve Been by propelled

Sometimes coming back home means facing the reason why you left in the first place.

Rated T.

5k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Deja Vu by 80sUnLoveChild

Takes place right after the season finale. The countdown is on, but who is kissing who at midnight and why does it feel like this has happened before?

Rated T.

3k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Fragile, Handle with Care by JadedAngel

A simple confrontation between Jackie and Hyde lead to, maybe not the perfect solution, but at least get them a step in the right direction.

Rated T.

6k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

How I Spent my Decade: Steven Hyde by 177istaken

Are memories enough? How Hyde spent the 80's dealing with his favorite chick.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Just a Small Glimpse by AdriDee

A small one-shot about Edna’s thoughts when she sees Hyde and his family. I wouldn’t call this a sequel, but it’s the same universe of All That I Got, a multichapter story written by the same author.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Background Jackie/Hyde

Karaoke by 80sUnLoveChild

It's New Years Eve 1979, and as usual the Forman's are having their New Years party. Why oh why did Bob bring his Karaoke and why is Eric so insistent that Hyde sing?

This story is funny as hell, I love Eric.

Rated T.

5k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

New Years Day by legally_blonde

Takes place right after the series finale. Jackie and Hyde are cleaning bottles on New Year’s day.

Rated T.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Reversed by SkittlezLvr79

Set in 1986. Hyde finds himself in a somewhat familiar situation but this time, he's on the opposite side of things from where he usually stands.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

So far, this is all.

Stay by FreyReh

Everyone gets together again for Kitty’s 50th birthday and old feelings stir between Jackie and Hyde.

Rated T.

7k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Red/Kitty and Eric/Donna

Stoner’s Nightmare by Bunny1

What if season 8 was just a nightmare?

Rated T.

581 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Force by 107derwent

Eric’s back and the whole gang is back together, but some things are still missing.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One I Love by c00kiefic

“He’s been on Jackie’s bad side for so long that he’s forgotten what it’s like to be on her good one.”

Hyde sees the love of his life getting engaged to someone else and decides he’s not going to let that happen.

Rated M.

4k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Princess and the Rebel by ForTheLoveOfFanFiction

Much of the damage of 1979 has been repaired; all except Jackie and Hyde. A trip in 1980 to see 'The Empire Strikes Back' makes Eric and Donna wonder if there is still hope for everyone's favourite princess and rebel.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Donna/Eric

Zozo: A Journey to Understanding by zpplnchick

"You don't deserve a real tattoo. But if I were to get one, I'd show it to Fez before I'd ever show it to you!" Ironically, that's pretty much how it happened.

Rated T.

3k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Oh, just one thing, speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so... yeah, this is just an idea.

Next category: Stories that take place during season 8. I’ll post it soon.

[smoochkooks]

—the (un)holy cock-up (m.)

⟶ pairing: park jimin/reader

⟶ genre: smut, angst 

⟶ word count: 14.5k

⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, oral sex (m receiving), dirty talk, profanity, unnecessary amount of biblical puns, some critic on catholic church, this is a heavy read be aware

⟶ summary: there is a quite long list of circumstances, with student loan and rent on the very top of it, that led you to work in the sunday’s spirit editorial department, a newspaper overally known among fellow catholic community of busan, with park jimin as your boss.

when your small cock-up goes unnoticeably out of your hand, you find yourself in a situation painted in all shades of wrong.

or, alternatively: when it’s forbidden, it tastes bittersweet.

a/n: please, before you read this: take the warnings seriously. this is not a light read, it touches some heavy and quite controversial topics. tit also involves a scene where a person in charge exhibits inappropriate behavior towards their subordinate which I do not condone, however it’s all done with consent.

ps. im really proud of this work so give me some love please:(

Fingertips typing furiously on the keyboards, sights focused on the computers’ screens, brows furrowed, minds utterly concentrated and all of this accompanied by angelic voices of various religious songs playing in the background.

This is how a typical day at Sunday’s Spirit editorial department goes by.

The newspaper is a local source of information for the catholic community not only in the city of Busan, but in the whole country. Its history starts in 70s, when Park Min-Sung with his wife started publishing the very first version of the Sunday’s Spirit, selling copies in front of churches. Young activists definitely hadn’t anticipated such a big success, especially due to hard times of the military dictatorship in Korea, but two decades later they have become one of the most affluent families in Busan. The newspaper remains the Park’s legacy till these days, being owned by Min-Sung’s son, with the original founder’s grandson Jimin as an editor-in-chief.

Sometimes you ponder how did you end up in this kind of situation. Sitting at your desk with eyes glued to the screen, working for the catholic newspaper with Mary did you know and other holy songs playing from the Spotify’s Blessed Hits playlist.

First of all, you aren’t quite a Jesus stan yourself. Not a regular churchgoer, Bible reader or a person who lives according to God’s will with Ten Commandments written on your heart and soul.

Someone may wonder, what a young, aspiring journalist like you is doing here? Yes, that’s right.

Money is the reason.

The perspectives of wealthy life as a presenter in the national television or a host in the radio were just a mirage, because after receiving your master degree in journalism you realised that, unfortunately, a bright future was bright only in your unreal dreams.

The case was simple. You needed money. Your bank account was literally screaming at you to get your shit together and figure something out before you end up under the bridge. So you started searching for a job, looking over various offers on the Internet for two weeks straight. A waitress? Nah, too clumsy for that. Jewelry seller? Definitely not, since you are a happy owner of a few pairs of earrings from etsy-like online shop that certainly have nothing to do with real gold. You were almost convinced you’re destined to be a sexworker but then you stumbled upon an offer from the Sunday’s Spirit.

It was your chance. A God himself decided to take pity on you.

In that exact moment the genre of the newspaper wasn’t important. The vision of bankruptcy was enough for you to wear knee-length black skirt, white button-up shirt and a pair of high heels you’ve never worn before and go on a job interview with plastered smile on your face, looking delightful like you have just given birth to Jesus Christ in Bethlehem.

All the Hollywood actresses could be put into shame after your Oscar-winning performance you acted out on the interview in front of middle-aged woman in checked jacket that no one wears since 90s. Your enthusiasm and assurance you live good, catholic woman’s life, along with your master degree and motivational letter (you added a quote from The Letter to Philipians at the end of it to spice it up) was enough to be accepted for the position of Ask and you shall find column creator.

The job itself wasn’t complex or tough. The newspaper on its online site has a page where people can create an account and send asks to the author of the column who responds to them. You did something wrong and you aren’t sure it should be considered a sin? Having problems with regular praying on mornings and evenings? Write to us and we will solemnly help you with the God’s blessing, it says.

This is basically how it works. Each week, the said journalist chooses the most interesting questions and answers to make an article to the Sunday’s Spirit’s next publication. Of course, you can’t answer those questions the way you would like. You must do it according to the catholic laws and God’s plan (the True God’s plan, not Drake’s). A woman who interviewed you even gave you a notebook full of already made-up responses and a list of things you definetely mustn’t write if you still want to be employed.

To be completely frank, you don’t hate your job that much. You actually feel kind of nice, helping other people with their problems. You’ve been doing this for six months now and during this period of time you got used to some things.

A ‘Jesus, I trust you’ framed picture you swore your mother gave you on your 16th birthday standing on your desk. Holy beats blasting through the speakers until you leave the office at 5pm. A big-ass cross hanging right in front of the entrance to the editorial. Lee Chin-sun, the Weekly News column author, rushing to Park Jimin’s bureau every day at different hours in her pencil skirts and high heels knocking on the floor.

There’s only the Pentecost in the middle of the office that could actually surprise you.

“Looks like our Mary Magdalene is going to Jesus cave again,” mutters Kim Taehyung, the newspaper’s main photographer, friend from your desk and, actually, the only friend you have here. Very much gay and just like you, in desperate need for money. “It’s her third visit today. I wonder what it is this time. New prayer to Pope Francis she found?” he whispers and you chuckle at that quietly, looking around if anyone pays attention to your conversation, but everyone seems busy doing their own stuff. “Maybe she’s sucking his dick right now and we all think they are playing Who said it? Bible edition,” he adds in a hushed tone.

You start thinking about it for a while. Is that really possible for someone like Park Jimin, the editor-in-chief of the Sunday’s Spirit to have a sexual relationship with his coworker? The man who has a smaller version of Pietà in his office?

“I mean look at him. I would smash that ass too.”

You roll your eyes at Taehyung words, going back to your previous task but every time you try to concentrate, the face of your boss appears in front of your eyes uncontrollably.

Truth to be told, Park Jimin was a sight.

Blond hair, always perfectly styled and simply parted in the middle, revealing his forehead. Dark, sharp eyes that seem to pierce right through your soul and full, plump lips which could only be described as kissable.

He wears only high fashion brands, wandering through the office in Prada and Tom Ford suits that hugs his sculpted body just right. You think that as for a person who never misses Sunday’s mass, Park Jimin has also nice thighs. And a fine piece of ass, as Taehyung would describe it.

Newest Rolex that costs probably more than you will ever earn in your entire life on his wrist, Mercedes who just got brought out to the international market standing on his parking spot in front of the building, an apartment in the most luxurious area in Busan.

Park Jimin inhales God’s mercy and exhales money.

You spoke to him more explicitly only once, on your first day at work. He greeted you and wished good luck, saying that everything will be fine because you know, God’s good. Since that day, Park Jimin seems out of your reach. You contact him only through email, sending articles for him to check and approve, occasionally receiving some short message from him to improve this and that. He rarely leaves his office during working hours but when he does, it’s either for business meetings outside the editorial or for a lunch at nearby restaurant.

There’s also one, special occasion, every Friday, that’s a sacred time for all the employees. The clock hits 12am and so it begins. The angelic voices stop singing and everybody shifts on their sits.

“Oh, Holy Judas. I almost forgot about my favourite part of the week,” Taehyung sighs, standing up from his desk. And by that, he means-

“Friday’s Bible contemplation lunch break, everyone please gather up at the cafeteria.” Park Jimin’s sweet as honey voice says through the speakers.

You stand up from your chair with reluctance. Taking food with you, you go to the cafeteria, following Taehyung.

That’s actually the next thing you got used to while working at Sunday’s Spirit. Bible contemplation meetings are, as you found out from Taehyung, Jimin’s idea after he became an editor-in-chief almost one year ago. Every Friday all the workers sit together, eat their lunches and listen to Jimin as he reads a certain chapter from the book with true admiration written on their faces. After that, he usually asks some questions holding a discussion among the participants who, unlike you, happily takes part in.

The cafeteria looks rather normal, like any other lunchrooms you see in offices. Painted in bright yellow colors, with a few tables and a typical kitchen set in the back. Except for one thing.

A replica of Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper hanging on the wall.

You decided a long time ago that you don’t want to know how much money it cost Jimin to have something like that here.

The newspaper’s workers, almost like the twelve Apostles, sit together by the tables. Lee Chin-sun at the very front, looking completely mesmerized by today’s Park Jimin’s appearance. He’s wearing navy blue suit that Taehyung swears it’s from Hugo Boss. The place next to Chin-sun is always occupied by tall, black-haired guy named Choi Eunwoo, main graphic designer, hopelessly in love with her since his first days at work. Behind them there’s a group from emendation department, with their leader Min Yoongi and other journalists. You always sit with Taehyung at the back, near the kitchen, not necessarily paying attention to what’s happening in the front.

Jimin, as on every Friday, walks to the small podium, designed to look like a pulpit in the church and opens the Bible. But one thing is odd: Jimin ain’t no priest or altar boy himself and he certainly dosen’t look like one, flipping through the pages of what you think it’s New Testament this time.

From your point of view, you could practically see how Chin-sun sighs with content expression on her face, lacing her fingers together on the lap and straightening her back. Eunwoo, on the other hand, shifts uncomfortably on his seat, sending Chin-sun quick glances full of unspoken longing she never acknowledges, to his dismay.

Then, Park Jimin clears his throat and the whole cafeteria goes quiet.

Truth to be told, you never really listen to what he’s reading. This time is no different. You just chew on your avocado sandwich, occasionally taking a sip of coffee. Your boss’ smooth voice reaches your ears faintly but you don’t pay attention to it, focusing on eating and Taehyung’s hushed rumbling instead.

“Look at our Mary Magdalene, she looks like she might burst a nut just by listening to CEO Jesus,” he says, making you peek at the girl.

Mary Magdalene is a nickname that Taehyung made up for Chin-sun when he started working at Sunday’s Spirit, mainly because of her attitude and relationship with Jimin. It’s rather platonic, at least for now. She looks at him with pure admiration on her face and she literally melts everytime he smiles at her. But Chin-sun’s ‘stalking’ isn’t unreasonable. Her father is a well-known philanthropist in Busan. He donates catholic charities, churches and, what’s the most interesting – he has some connections with Jimin’s father, the owner of Sunday’s Spirit.

And here’s the thing: Chin-sun’s hare and hounds definitely have some hidden reason. Maybe the whole marriage thing that has become a gossip in the office is true. Which makes poor Eunwoo’s situation even worse.

“Sometimes I wonder why has he fallen in love with her in first place,” you whisper, pointing at the graphic designer. “He knows he stands no chance against Jimin.”

“What can I say, you can’t help who you fall in love with.” Taehyung muses almost poetically, shrugging his shoulders.

You hum at that, placing your coffee cup on the table and looking around the cafeteria. It seems like Jimin has ended his reading session for today and now he invites everyone to join the discussion about the topic. He flashes Chin-sun a gentle smile and you could swear the girl is biting her lip.

On the corner of your eye you see Taehyung smirking.

“What?” you ask.

Taehyung takes a sip of his coffee lazily (it’s always caramel macchiato), peering at Jimin. “Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if our boss really wants to settle not only with Chin-sun, but anyone in general,” he says languidly.

You furrow your brows. “What makes you think that? I mean, look at him. He probably waits with sex till marriage.” you snort.

Taehyung chuckles at your words. “Ah, sweetheart, you really know nothing about Park Jimin.”

“What do you mean?”

He moves closer to you, leaning towards your ear. “What I mean,” he whispers, “is that Park Jimin isn’t such a prude everyone thinks he is. At least he didn’t use to be.”

You raise your eyebrows at him with disbelief. “What? He’s secretly gay?” you mock.

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I wish, but no, he isn’t,” he answers with a sigh. “Do you know Min Yoongi from emendation team?” he then asks, pointing at grey-haired man with feline eyes sitting behind Chin-sun.

You nodd your head. Min Yoongi is a hard to read guy. Always suspiciously silent, practically never leaves his office. Something makes you wonder how did Taehyung end up befriending him enough to casually gossip about the boss. You will ask him about this on another occasion.

“So here’s the thing,” Taehyung begins, lowering the volume of his voice. “He used to study at the same university in Seoul with Jimin. They even had been together in the fraternity. Yoongi-hyung told me some juicy details about our boss’ life back then.”

You frown at his words. “And you are telling me this now?!” you hiss.

“I found out literally two days ago!” Taehyung exclaims, maybe a little too loud, so you quickly place your index finger on your lips, shushing him.

“Fine. Continue.” you whisper, looking around to see if anyone pays attention to you.

“Well, Park Jimin used to be a trouble back then. A golden boy of his family in Busan, but a campus fuckboy and obnoxious heartbreaker in Seoul. He smoked cigarettes, drank enormous amounts of alcohol, got wasted on every weekend, missed classes and changed hair colors as often as his girlfriends. By the way, don’t you think he would slay pink hair?”

“Taehyung can you please–”

“Okay, okay. Enough thirsting over Jimesus. So, as you can see, there was no place for Sunday’s mass and Bible contemplation meetings in his life. And here’s the awaited plotwist. His parents somehow found out his son wasn’t living good catholic life on his studies and got extremely pissed off. They simply gave him an ultimatum: if he doesn’t stop his shenanigans, they will cut him off their money and they won’t make him Sunday’s Spirit heir.” Taehyung stops his rumbling for a while, letting you proceed all the bewildering informations about your dear boss he has just revealed.

Your eyes simply widen at the revelations.

Park Jimin, the man who organises Bible contemplation lunch breaks, a regular churchgoer, someone who you always thought has a cross tattooed on his back, was a playboy who slept with a half of the female community in the university?

Interesting.

“Rest of the story is simple. He changed his behavior, got a master degree in journalism and came back to Busan to work here. What is funny, his first position was the same as yours now,” Taehyung ends his story with a light chuckle. “Now you understand why it’s hard for me to believe he really thinks about getting married and having at least three kids.”

You look up at Park Jimin, who’s standing now in the centre of the cafeteria, with his arms crossed over his chest, nodding at one of the journalists words. His gaze is so intense and filled with such an authority that makes you understand why Chin-sun literally squirms when he looks at her that way.

It’s not hard for you to imagine him in much different surroundings.

Him, standing with a cup of beer in his hand in the middle of the crowd of drunken people at some frat party. There’s a leather jacket on his shoulders and he’s wearing tight-fitting pants that hugs his gorgeous thighs much better than his usual slacks he puts on every day before he sets off to work. He scans the room with a mishevious smirk dancing on his features, biting and licking his lips as he looks for his prey for tonight.

He then spots her, his pick for the night. He runs his fingers through his silky locks and approaches the girl, whispering dirty promises to her ear as he sways their bodies to the rhythm of loud music blasting through the speakers. Later that night he has her underneath him, begging him to touch her. He fucks her hard, leaving bruises all over her limp, exhausted body. There will be soreness between her thighs in the morning and a few violet love bites on her neck, a gentle reminder that all of this wasn’t just a dream.

But there’s no warm body next to her she could wake up to, no ‘good morning, baby’ or a second round of love making between the sheets. Because Park Jimin isn’t like that. He waited until her breath slowed down and eyelids fluttered shut, drifting her off to sleep. He left in the middle of the night, a cigarette caught between his swollen from kisses lips. He fumed the poison and smiled to himself, wondering what his parents would think when they found out. A golden boy of his family, future heir of the Park’s legacy, coming back from one of his sexcapeds with girl which name he didn’t even remember.

The Lord himself must have already cursed him and he’s currently planning the punishments for him in depths of Hell. But does Park Jimin look like he really care?

You stare blankly ahead, imagining those scenes in your head. You can’t help but squeeze your thighs because God, yes, Park Jimin is hot, even if he reads Breviary before he goes to sleep. What a shame he has changed. 

A smooth like honey voice pulls you out from your airy-fairy slumber.

“Miss Y/N?”

You jolt in panic after hearing your name, glancing around and praying that wasn’t the person you think it was. But this silky, melodious voice you would recognize everywhere.

God hates you though, he knows what kind of scandalous things you were daydreaming about and now it’s his time to punish you.

Looking up, your gaze settles on no one other than Park Jimin, who stares at you with his left eyebrow raised, pursing his lips. He extinguishes the aura of pure dominance around him and you involuntarily blush, squirming under his intense glare. You’re royally screwed.

You clear your throat, trying to calm down rapidly beating heart. Without success.

“Yes, sir?” you manage to answer innocently. Certainly not like you weren’t thinking about being fucked by him minutes ago. You don’t even have time to be surprised he remembers your name.

Park Jimin looks unamazed by your sweet tone; he almost seems bored, but definitely irritated. “I asked you a question and I’m waiting for your response.” he says lowly.

Fuckfuckfuck. God have mercy on you. What was the question? Shit, you don’t even know what fragment he had read before.

In act of complete desperation you elbow Taehyung for help but this little shit pretends he has no idea what’s going on, looking at The Last Supper with sudden interest.

You are purely, loyally, utterly fucked.

You adopt the most charming smile you could muster, knowing that it will have zero affect on Park Jimin and ask, “Could you repeat the question one more time, sir? I’m afraid I didn’t hear you correctly.” Jesus, when has your voice become so high-pitched?

A cruel smirks forms on Park Jimin’s lips. He shakes his head, tsking. Taehyung mutters something under his breath that sounds dangerously close to “It was nice meeting you, sweetheart.” You gulp, waiting for your sentence and hoping Pontius Pilate will be gracious to you.

“My, my,” Jimin muses. It makes you feel like a little girl being scolded by the teacher due to her outrageous behavior. You bite your lip so hard you might draw blood, waiting for your boss’ next words. “Of course you didn’t hear my question, because you weren’t paying attention to our discussion.”

In the corner of your eye you see Chin-sun shaking her head with detestation. What a bitch, you think to yourself.

You take a deep breath then, nails digging crescent moons on the skin of your palms. You don’t like being in the spotlight, you never did, but now you have no choice but face the consequences. “My deepest apologies, sir. The behavior I exhibited was highly inappropriate,” you say, bowing your head. Jimin eyes your figure from head to toe and you might actually feel his burning gaze on your skin. Your cheeks flush in crimson even more.

The editor-in-chief seems to deliberate with himself for a while, turning his head slightly to the side, not breaking the eye contact with you. Finally, after a moment that seems to last an hour, he speaks.

“I think you need a lesson that will teach you to pay attention to our weekly discussions, miss Y/N. That’s why I want you to write a 4000 words long paper about the role of Mary Magdalene in Jesus Christ’s life which we had discussed today but you, unfortunately, didn’t acknowledge it.”

You freeze. Like a scene in the movie, everything stops. The embarassement you felt earlier is quickly replaced by pure anger and irritation. He wants you to write a fucking paper? What is this? University lectures?

Never before in your entire life have you felt so humiliated. All eyes are on you; you could practically sense how they are trying not to laugh out loud. Eunwoo and Taehyung look at you with apologetic faces while Chin-sun smirks, whispering something to Jimin’s ear.

“I apologize once again, sir,” you grit through your teeth with a forced smile. Jimin nods then, not even bothering to look at you again. You’re dismissed, that’s what his behavior is saying.

“Our meeting is over, you can go back to your work.” Jimin announces and walks away from the cafeteria with Chin-sun by his side.

You wait for everyone to leave and the you let out a groan of annoyance, burring your head in your hands.

“Hey, it could have been worse. He didn’t fire you after all.” Taehyung laughs but he quickly shuts up as soon as he sees your glare. You stand up from your chair with a scowl written all over your face, and storm out of the lunchroom.

And may the God help you.

Later that unfortunate day, you sit by your desk again, scrolling through the Ask and you shall find page absentmindedly and waiting for the new asks to come. Everyone has returned to their work like nothing has happened but it doesn’t stop you from feeling all those eyes constantly on your back. Maybe you weren’t fired but the humiliation and embarrassment of being told off by your boss publicly makes you want to disappear and never show up at the editorial again.

“Y/N,” Taehyung’s deep voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You look up at him and find the man smiling at you lightly. He’s wearing a long, camel coat and a big scarf around his neck with ridiculous patterns that reminds you of Persian diwans. He places his black camera bag on the desk, which means he’s leaving the office. “I’m free of office work for today so I just wanted to say goodbye.” he explains and you just nod.

“Bye, Taehyung. See you on Monday.” you say maybe a little bit to wryly and he feels that, letting out a long sigh.

Taehyung seems to deliberate with himself for a moment before he decides to speak again. He clears his throat audibly. “And I, uhm, I’m sorry. It’s my fault that you are in this situation. I started this conversation and I should be the one writing this stupid paper for Mister Prude.”

You can’t help but chuckle at the new nickname Taehyung gave Jimin. The anger you felt before drifts away from you slowly, and you smile at your friend apologetically. “Oh, God, Tae. I’m such a bitch sometimes, sorry,” you blurt out.”I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at him. Besides, maybe that’s good I’ve got homework. I don’t remember when was the last time I wrote some-”

Your words are interrupted by a loud laugh that resonates through the office. You look in the direction of the voice just to see Chin-sun with her manicured hand on Jimin’s chest, throwing her head back from the laughter, too dramatically for your taste. She seems to have changed her clothes, a black pencil skirt long forgotten and replaced by a red, bodycon dress. Her dark hair is also styled differently, curled and loose. She looks beautiful, matching Jimin’s appearance perfectly.

“Where are they going?” Taehyung whispers to you, furrowing his brows. You shrug your shoulders, tearing your eyes of Chin-sun and Jimin. “Maybe our Mary Magdalene’s plan to win Jesus’ heart is working. Poor Eunwoo,” he sighs, looking at his watch to check the time. “Anyway, I gotta go. I have to drive all the way to some shithole near the city to take photos of an old lady who swears she saw saint Francis or other dude with halo speaking to her,” he grumbles and you giggle at his words. “Good luck with your paper, sweetheart.” he leans and places a small peck on your cheek.

“Bye, Tae.” you say, watching him leave the office right after Jimin and Chin-sun.

You let out a long, tired sigh, counting the time to leave the office and finally be back home, with a bottle of red wine and new season of Game of Thrones that are waiting for you to watch the whole week. Then, when you’re about to stand up and make yourself another coffee, a new ask pops up in your inbox with the title ‘Sex S.O.S’.

You raise your eyebrows because honestly, what kind of title is this? Curiosity wins the battle with a hot cup of an americano and you click the show more button. You put on your prescription glasses and start reading.

Dear Sunday’s Spirit editorial,

My name is Kang Seoyeon. I study medicine at the University of Seoul, I’ve got an amazing group of friends and a loving boyfriend. And here’s where the actual problem begins. I’m from the catholic family with long traditions, and as you can guess, he isn’t.

We’ve been together for almost 2 years now and since my parents don’t want me to live with him before the marriage, there’s also no sexual life between us. I was actually surprised they agreed I can date a non-religious person in first place, so the rules weren’t that horrible at the beginning.

My boyfriend always seemed to be understanding about the fact that I’m catholic and he has never had issues against it because I stated this on the start of our relationship, but lately… he’s been distant. We meet up less often and I feel like simple kissing after 2 years isn’t enough for him. I even thought about initiating something that wouldn’t necessarily involve the real intercourse but I’m too inexperienced and shy for that. We are slowly drifting apart.

I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him just because of some stupid rules I need to follow. I’m scared he will leave me for some other beautiful girl who wouldn’t have anything against sleeping with him, especially after considering the fact that he isn’t virgin unlike me and he experienced this kind of pleasure before.

I hope you will help me.

Yours faithfully,

Kang Seoyeon.

You blink once, twice. Read the message again and then, something snaps in you.

To Hell with these stupid, old-fashioned rules straight from the Middle Ages. To Hell with celibacy till marriage, masturbation prohibition and living according to God’s will. To Hell with Park Jimin and his ridiculous moral code (and his Bible contemplation lunchbreaks).

Unofficial eleventh commandment: If a girl wants a dick, she deserves to have it.

And that’s exactly what your response to the girl is in a nutshell.

Your blood boils in your veins with anger as you’re typing furiously on the keyboard, not even bothering to check if your sudden outburst makes any sense.

Dear Seoyeon,

It’s Y/N here, the journalist who you wrote this message to.

I don’t know what kind of response are you expecting from me but honestly? If you think I’m going to recommend you some praying to Saint Rita then you’re wrong. I’m done with this shit.

Let me make this straight: if you want to fuck your boyfriend, do it. Maybe God wouldn’t approve that but don’t worry, he won’t send you to hell because of some dick in your pussy.

They are plenty of worse things in this world than having sex with the person you love. Look at me. I’m literally writing to catholic newspaper while using words like ‘God’ and ‘Fuck’ in the same sentence. And that’s not even a small piece of what I’ve done in my life.

So you go girl, suck your boyfriend off. Make him beg. He will never leave you after this. You have my blessings and Jesus is giving you metaphysical thumbs up from above. Sex is amazing thing and you don’t have to wait for it until you say ‘yes’ in front of some guy in black cassock. Just go with the flow.

 May the God help you!

Love, Y/N.

P.S. Watch out that guy. He seems suspicious. If he’s been really sex deprived for two years he will die after you give him a head.

Sent.

You exhale loudly, staring at the screen. You did that. Six months into working in Sunday’s Spirit and the time when you lost your temper has finally come. You should probably feel ashamed or have some type of conscience pangs but actually you aren’t even near this state.

Grinning to yourself, you delete the message you had sent to the girl from your inbox and check the time. It’s almost 5pm and it looks like you haven’t even realised you’re the only person at the office right now. Since it’s Friday and Jimin has already left, seems like everyone has decided to set off earlier too.

You turn off your computer, packing your things to the bag. Wrapping a scarf around your neck tightly, you leave the building, welcoming the coolness of the early Spring evening in Busan.

When you’re about to cross the street, your phone buzzes in the pocket of your coat. You stop for a moment, smiling to yourself when you read the message.

[04:23pm] from Tae: hey

[04:23pm] from Tae: i know you are probably planning an evening with mary magdalene n jesus but

[04:23pm] from Tae: wouldnt u want to go for drinks with me tonight?

[04:23pm] from Tae: same place as usual

[04:24pm] from Tae: as a wise man once said: nothing helps better for the writer’s block than vodka

[04:24pm] from Tae: so what do u say?

You don’t need to think twice when you quickly type a response. Game of Thrones and wine can wait till another time.

[04:26pm] from me: how could i say no to kim taehyung and vodka?

[04:26pm] from me: see u there

Kim’s is a place like no one other in Busan.

You wouldn’t even know about its existence if it wasn’t Taehyung who took you there first when you started working at Sunday’s Spirit, solemnly promising free drinks. Who would you be if you didn’t agree to that?

When you arrived at the bar, it eventually turned out the alcohol was costless hence it’s his family business since over thirty years and his brother Namjoon is a bartender, not because Taehyung willingly decided to pay for you.

Kim’s is located in rather industrial part of the city, sandwiched between factories and huge housing estates, not looking really inviting at first glance, but the place has its own, unique charm. There are some stories, shrouding the building’s history in mystery. Some people say it used to be headquarters of the most dangerous mafia in Busan, some even believe it served as the secret arsenal during the Korean War.

But what’s definitely true, it’s the fact that Taehyung’s parents bought this place in swinging times of 80s for a small amount of money and turned the place into disco bar which had become a must-go spot for young people in Busan.

Kim’s on the outside, with its large red neon sign hanging above the entrance, looks more like a night club than a bar, but on the inside the magic of kitschy 80s still remains the same (Taehyung swears retro is in fashion these days and that’s why he didn’t let his parents redecorate when they wanted to).

You always feel like you’re traveling back in time when you visist Kim’s.

The place is quite big, with a large dancefloor in the middle and red leather sofas strewn around the place along with the tables. Walls are made of brick and colorful, vibrant neon lights are shimmering on them. Oh, not to mention the huge disco ball on the ceiling. Everything accompanied with the quality music provided by Namjoon.

There are few billiard and foosball tables in the corner of the bar, always occupied by the same group of middle-aged men on weekdays and university students on weekends. But the thing that attract attention of the customers the most, is the bar with Namjoon behind it.

When you enter the place, you spot Taehyung and his blond mop of hair immediately. He sits on one of the bar stools, talking to his older brother. He’s wearing beige pants and floral button-up shirt that seems to match colors with his pinkish-looking drink he holds. You notice a new pair of sapphire earrings and a huge ring from the same collection on his forefinger. Classy, as always.

Taehyung grins broadly when he sees you. He puts his drink on the counter and stands up to greet you. His breath smells like strawberries and vodka when he leans to place his usual, small peck on your cheek. “Hi, sweetheart,” he says with his signature smirk plastered on his face, scanning your figure. “You look gorgeous. Last time you did this kind of make-up you wanted to get laid.”

You rolls your eyes at his words, sitting on a stool next to him. “Hi, Taehyung. Thank you for appreciating my efforts to look like a decent human being but no, I’m not planning on getting laid tonight.” you answer, waving to Namjoon who makes drinks for a group of girls a few meters from you. He smiles bashfully at you, showing his dimples.

“I’m not saying you want a fuck, calm down. I just assumed since it’s not everyday that you put eyeliner on,” Taehyung explains himself. “So let me do that again,” He takes a deep breath, placing a hand on his chest in a dramatic manner. “Y/N, you look absolutely breathtaking. I could stare at you for hours and I wouldn’t mind that even a bit. My homosexuality is at risk right now.”

You ignore his exeggarated outburst, rolling your eyes. “I’m not using eyeliner everyday because there’s something called dresscode in our work, you know?” you say. “Besides, my mum says you should look good on every occasion because you don’t know when you will meet the love of your life.”

Taehyung puts a hand on his heart and sighs with relief. “Thank God I always look good.”

You chuckle and then your eyes wander for a moment to Namjoon, who seems busy listening to whatever the pink-haired girl is telling him with polite smile on his face.

“Here,” Taehyung nudges your side, bringing your attention back to him. He hands you the same pinkish drink as he was drinking when you arrived. “Hyung told me it’s their new specialty or something. It’s called Flamingo’s Beach,” he says and you take the glass in your hand. “I have no idea what Namjoonie-hyung put here but as long as it looks good, it’s good. Cheers!” Taehyung sips his one and watches you with raised eyebrows as you’re taking a generous gulp of the drink. “And…?” he asks.

You lick your lips, humming to yourself. “Not bad. Tastes like strawberries.”

Taehyung opens his mouth to say something but he gets interrupted by his brother. “Y/N, hi. How are you?” Namjoon approaches you with two beer mugs in his hands.

His hair is back to his natural brown color now, purple strands long forgotten since the last time you saw him. It looks like he’s been working out lately, his posture more bulky and it makes his black shirt stick to his body tightly. Namjoon’s good-looking, you always knew that, but he seems to be even more handsome now.

“Hey, I’ve been good, thank you,” you greet him with maybe too much enthusiasm for your liking. You always had a weak spot for him. “How’s the bar going?” you ask.

“Busy, as you can see,” he replies, chuckling to himself. “I would love to talk to you more but I have some work to do in back room, so…” Namjoon trails off sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.

“Oh, it’s okay. We can catch up another time.” You smile at him and you could swear his cheeks flushed.

“I’ll be going. See you.” Namjoon stammers out, not even waiting for your response before he disappears from your sight.

The pregnant silence sets in between you and Taehyung, something heavy hangs in the air and you feel it, tapping your fingers on the counter to the rhythm of one of the ABBA songs, waiting impatiently.

Taehyung looks like he’s debating with himself in his head. You narrow your eyes. He’s adopted a face you know pretty well, too well even. He looks everywhere but keep avoiding your gaze. He wants to ask you something, you’re sure of it, but he doesn’t know how.

Finally, after a moment of awkward quietness, Taehyung finally opens his mouth. “So, here’s the thing,” he starts and you wait for the bomb to drop.

Last time when he approached you like that, he asked you if you would be down for a threesome with him and some guy he met on Tinder. Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you heard his blunt proposition. You were eating lunch at cafeteria and the words casually slipped from between his lips as he chewed on his egg sandwich, like he didn’t just propose you having sex with him and instead asked for a lift to home after work.

Taehyung begged you for a whole week, pleading and convincing it’ll be fun. When you eventually agreed (sex draught make people do stupid things), the other guy didn’t show up. You ended up drinking tequila shots with Taehyung that night in his apartment, and you can’t quite recall how it happened, but somehow you found yourself unzipping your friend’s pants and the rest is history. He passed out right after he came. Now when you think about it, you feel a sudden urge to ask him if he remembers that.

You will do it next time, you promise yourself.

Taehyung though doesn’t ask you about having a threesome or robbing Park Jimin’s house this time. His intentions are pretty much different.

“See, Namjoon split up with his girlfriend few weeks ago,” he says and you prick your ears. “He’s not in good condition right now, as you can see. It was a nasty break up, he found out she’s been cheating on him,” He lets out a long sigh. You bite your lip, imagining Namjoon’s disappointed face when he discovered the truth. What a bitch cheats on someone like him? “So, I thought maybe you could… cheer him up a little bit?” Taehyung ends hesitantly, with a glint of hope in his eyes.

You frown. Cheer him up? Did he just imply what you think about?

“Look, I get it, he’s sad and angry, but what the fuck, Taehyung? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to be his rebound? Make him forget?” you exclaim. Taehyung quickly shakes his head but you don’t let him say anything. “I feel sorry for Namjoon but I’m not going to take advantage of him when he’s literally still hurt.”

“No, it’s not like that!” Taehyung rushes to explain. “Well, maybe it sounded like that but I swear, I didn’t mean that!”

“Then what should I do? Wipe his tears? Tell him a joke? Or maybe-”

“Of course he wants you to suck his brother’s heartbroken dick, doll.”

A sudden, low voice interrupts your conversation. Your eyes follow the direction when it comes from, looking to Taehyung’s left where not even a meter away a very familiar grey-haired man with feline eyes sits.

“Min Yoongi,” you say matter-of-factly.

The leader of emendation team from Sunday’s Spirit editorial raises his hand in which he holds whiskey, greeting you and Taehyung. “Hello, doll. Hello, Taehyung,” he says, not even bothering to look at you.

You elbow Taehyung searching for explanation but he shrugs his shoulders, turning to face the man as well.

“First of all, since when do you call me ‘doll’? We have never spoken a word to each other. Secondly, how long have you been sitting here and listening?” you ask Yoongi.

He snorts, smirking. “Long enough to know how Taehyung comforts his brother after break up.” he simply answers and Taehyung’s cheeks blush in crimson at his words.

“You come here often? I’ve never seen you here before,” you continue, crossing your arms over chest.

Next to you Taehyung lets out a sigh. “Yes, he does. Albeit I haven’t seen him for a while here,” You look at him in confusion. “Yoongi-hyung is Namjoonie-hyung close friend from university days.” he clarifies.

You raise your eyebrows at that. “So Namjoon went to the same school as Park Jimin?”

“Not the same. We met under different circumstances.” Yoongi cuts in.

“They’ve been together in underground rap group, or some shit. Didn’t like each other at first but eventually stuck together till the end of studies.” Taehyung ends and grey-haired man nods.

You can’t help but chuckle at that.

“What’s funny in that?” Yoongi scowls.

“Nothing. I just imagined you and Namjoon in snapbacks, rapping about the unfairness of social hierarchy,” you say, grinning at him.

“Well, you may believe me or not, but we even made a mixtape.” Yoongi reveals proudly, taking a sip of his whiskey.

Your eyes widen in curiosity. “Then what happened? Why aren’t you in Seoul now, still producing music? Why do you work in this stupid newspaper and Namjoon’s a bartender?” you ask interrogatively.

“Life happened, doll. We didn’t have enough money to publish our works so we decided to quit it.”

“Oh,” you breathe out.

You could see the nostalgia written across Yoongi’s face. You feel sorry for him, for Namjoon. Everything is always about the money. That’s why you’re working in Sunday’s Spirit even though it was never your dream in first place. Even though you have much higher ambitions than being Ask and you shall find column author.

Ever since you were little, you loved writing. You never complained, not even once, when your teachers in school assigned you to write something. They kept saying you have an extraordinary talent and it would be a shame if you didn’t do anything with that.

During your high school years, you were the leader of school newspaper’s team, still writing your own works every time you didn’t have something different to do. After that, you got to the university in Seoul, your another dream came true. You got a master degree, an apprenticeship in the Korean version of highly popular, world-widely known magazine. And then, nothing. No job applications available. No newspapers or publishing companies wanting you, dismissing you right away because they didn’t have any vacant places.

This is how Sunday’s Spirit, even if that’s not your dream job, happened. And quite literally saved your ass.

“I’m sorry.” you say after a while.

Yoongi smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t be. What’s in past, stays in past.” he ends the conversation, drinking the rest of his whiskey.

You find this as a perfect possibility to do what you’ve come here for: get wasted, forget about this prick Park Jimin and his stupid assignment. You turn around on your stool to face the bar again, calling for the red-haired bartender named Hoseok who’s substituting Namjoon right now. You order a round of tequilla shots and quickly pours two of them in one go.

“Easy, tiger,” Taehyung teases, still sipping his pink drink as you wipe your chin with the back of your hand. Taehyung has stated a long time ago that he enjoys only casual drinking, which makes you and you lightweightness snort at him.

“Loser,” you mumble under your breath, deep down knowing you’re oh so much going to regret this after.

You focus your attention on the dancefloor now; technicolor lights glittering as the crowd of sweaty people bounce to old Madonna hits. You feel like your spirit might actually experience new kind of awakening during the chorus in Like a Virgin. You mouth the lyrics, the vodka already half-way to your bopping head. Your drunken self almost asks Taehyung and Yoongi if they would agree to be your backup dancers.

You eyes scan the room carefully and then, you spot him. He’s sitting in the corner, his arms splayed over the backrest of the red couch. A devil himself. A black horseman of the Apocalypse. A man who looks like every girl’s next mistake. Taylor Swift’s ‘we are never ever getting back together’.

A true sin.

Jet-black hair parted in the middle, onyx eyes and lucious smirk written across his lips as he bites them purposefully. He’s wearing a leather jacket and you wonder for a while if you would find inked tattoos on his body. He cocks his head to the side, his eyes glued to the same spot as he waits for something, or rather someone.

“Who’s that?” you ask, not even hiding your curiosity at this point.

Taehyung turns around as well, his eyes glancing to the dark-haired man briefly. “Ah, this, sweetheart, is Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin’s best friend.” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You raise your eyebrows, watching as Jungkook’s face expression immediately changes when waitress approaches him. He says something to her that makes her roll her eyes. She tightens her grip around the tray she’s holding, asking him for his order.

“Don’t worry. You are not the only one thirsting over him. I would let him top me too,” Taehyung whispers to your ear and you flinch.

“I’m not thirsting over him! I came her for drinks, not to get laid, I told you.”

“Okay, okay, loosen up a little. Tequilla makes you aggressive. Besides, it looks like he’s got his pick for tonight.”

Jungkook stretches out his hand and fixes the waitress’ glasses that seem to rode down her nose a little. The girl frozes in place because of his action and he grins, calling her cute.

“He’s trying to ask her out for two months,” Yoongi interrupts suddenly, again. It looks like he has nothing better to do tonight. “I’m serious. He’s here every Friday. Normally, he would have given up after the second time she had rejected him but there’s might be something in this girl that makes his dick hard and his heart soft.”

Jungkook’s eyes girl’s body as she bends to pick up the glasses from other tables and maybe that’s the alcohol swimming in your veins but you could swear his face lights up when she sends him another irritated glare when he calls her name.

“Does Park Jimin comes here often as well?” you ask before you could stop yourself.

Both Taehyung and Yoongi shake their heads.

“I don’t think so. Jeon comes here because he lives nearby in this huge ass apartment complex. His father runs a chemical factory and he works there.” Taehyung explains.

Jeon? Chemical factory? Something clicks in your brain. Right, you know who his father is. The King of Washing Powder. Another rich as fuck Busan’s snob.

“God, I hate him. I fucking hate him. What a prick. Douchebag. Asshole of the century,” The string of profanities leaves poor waitress’ mouth as she walks to the counter with tray in her hands. “How’s your day, love? You look beautiful today, love. Fucking leave me alone, love!” she mutters to herself, taking the beer mugs from Hoseok abruptly which makes the bartender raise his eyebrows in confusion.

“How’s your assignment about Mary Magdalene going on, doll?” Yoongi asks then, startling you.

You roll your eyes at him. “I literally got it today, Yoongi. I haven’t started yet.” you answer, gulping another shot.

On the corner of your eye you see Yoongi’s smirking. “I’m surprised, to be honest. You aren’t the only one who doesn’t pay attention to shit Jimin’s says,” he trails off. “I work for him from the moment he started this ridiculous Bible lunch breaks and I swear, he’s never called out someone like that before.”

“What do you mean he’s never called out someone before?” Taehyung joins in curiously.

“Look, I slept through the majority of these sessions and Jimin knows it, but he has never lecture me about it,” Yoongi remarks. “Maybe you’re an exception. Or he’s become more strict because of this bitch Chin-sun.”

You furrow your eyebrows, confused. You know Chin-sun has been making heart eyes for Jimin for a long time but what why it might have an influence on his behavior?

“Lee Chin-sun? What the office’s Mary Magdalene has to do with that? Besides the fact that she’s drooling for his dick every time she sees him,” Taehyung snorts.

Yoongi chuckles lowly. “Oh, so you two really know nothing about what’s going on between them right now,”

“What’s going on right now? Spill.” Taehyung says abruptly. You sigh when you see the way his eyes flicker with mischeviousness. One thing Taehyung loves more than photography and fashion is gossiping (and dicks).

“First of all, Chin-sun is a fucking bigot. And well… she might be closer to being miss Park than we thought.” Yoongi muses.

Taehyung eyebrows practically disappear in his hairline. You’re sure you mirror his expression right now.

Yoongi asks Hoseok for another glass of whiskey and continues. “My friend Seokjin’s wife is Jimin’s personal assistant and secretary. She heard this and that, quite juicy things I must say,” he says in a lower tone, like he’s revealing government secrets to them. You lean closer into his direction along with Taehyung. “Chin-sun’s father recently bought the claims to the most popular, conservative TV station in whole South Korea. But, what is more interesting, it looks like Park senior has some shares in it as well.”

You’re astonished. You knew there’s something looming in the air but you didn’t expect this. A TV station? Even your slightly drunken brain can calculate it’s very interesting.

“So the marriage between Chin-sun and Jimin would be pretty convenient for their families, especially after considering the fact that Jimin is the heir.” Yoongi adds, gulping the first sip of his new whiskey.

“Poor Eunwoo,” you whisper to yourself.

“But why so soon? Why do they want to legalize their relationship so suddenly?” Taehyung asks.

Yoongi lets out a heavy sigh. “There’s a rumour going around that Jimin’s father isn’t in good condition right now. Seokjin-hyung mentioned something about the heart disease. So, if that’s really true, you have the answer why he wants his eldest son to settle down already. Everything’s about the money, I told you.”

Taehyung whistles. “Woah, so Mary Magdalene is really about to be CEO Jesus’ wife soon!” he exclaims, clapping his hands. “Brilliant. Finally something spicy is happening in this boring editorial.”

“I wouldn’t be so enthusiastic if I were you, Taehyung. This kind of business never ends well,” Yoongi says coldly, placing his glass on the counter and standing up from the stool. He glances at his watch and throws a few bills next to his empty glass. “I’ll get going. It was nice talking to you, doll.”

“What about me?”

“Shut up, Taehyung, you’re not pretty lady.”

“I feel offended.”

“And I don’t care,” Yoongi mutters. Maybe that was alcohol swimming in her veins but you saw Taehyung lifting the corners of his lips in amusement. Weird. “Good luck on your assignment, doll. See you all on Monday.” Yoongi glances to your way one last time, adjusting his jacket.

“Bye, Yoongi.” you wave to him and a small, even sincere smile appears on his face when he as well raises his hand lazily and leaves. “Why didn’t you tell me he’s actually nice, Tae? I was always too scared to start a conversation with him because I felt intimidated.” you say after a while.

“I’m sorry, should have I set you up for a date with him?” Taehyung mocks.

A groan escapes your lips. “Could you please stop insinuating things?”

“You need to get laid, seriously. Like soon-soon. You get easily irritated recently. You need a d i c k,”

“I don’t need a dick!”

“A cock, Y/N,” Taehyung emphasizes. “A penis in your precious vagina.”

“Shut up!”

Several shots and a few drunken dances to Cindi Lauper and Bon Jovi, you’re pretty much wasted. And maybe, just maybe, you need a dick. And Taehyung, like a dipshit he always is, thinks that’s actually funny.

“Don’t wanna homff,” you slur, supporting your weight on Taehyung’s arm that shakes with laughter at your drunken antics, as well as his whole body. “I wanna danfce witfh somebodyyy,”

“Holy Mother of Jesus, you must be really drunk if you started referring to Whitney Houston’s songs. And you smell like booze,” Taehyung mutters under his breath and you whine, tugging on his arm.

“TaeTae, Taehyungie, pffleasee, can we go back?”

Taehyung ignores your grumbling completely. He exists the bar, walking (or rather dragging) you to the cab. As he tries to push your body to the car, he sees in the corner of his eye Jeon Jungkook, standing in front of his black SUV. The waitress from earlier accompanies him as well. It looks like he’s trying to convince her to let him give her a lift to home. The girl shakes her head at first but eventually gives up, stepping into the car. Jungkook grins to himself then, clenching his fists in gesture of pure triumph.

“I fuckin’ hate Park Jimin and his stfupid newspaper,” you mutter incoherently as you bury your head in the crook of Taehyung’s neck in the back of the cab. Old, korean songs are playing in the radio when you’re driving back home. Taehyung smiles to himself, hearing your light snores. But then, he falters.

Ah, yes, he almost forgot. It is going to be a long way to the third floor of your apartment building.

Next day, you wake up in the middle of noon with raging headache and an abrupt need to throw everything up. Frankly speaking, you had worse hangovers during you university days but it doesn’t change the fact that the state you’re currently in still sucks.

“Oh, good God, what have I thought?” you mutter to yourself while standing in the shower, letting the water cool you down.

Truth to be told, a drinking escapade when you have a whole ass paper to write in two days wasn’t the smartest idea you could come up with. You know that for sure, when you’re sitting down in front of your laptop with prescription glasses on your face and a cup of tea in your hand.

There’s a blank document opened on the screen, with only your name written in the corner and the title in the middle. You feel pathetic and useless, staring at it for 30 minutes straight. If you keep sitting like this, you might actually call Park Jimin right now and beg him not to fire you due to your incompetence.

“Get your shit together, Y/N.” you say to yourself, clenching your fists.

At first you fought about making some mind-map, outlining the most important parts of your essay, as you always used to do when you were studying. But there’s a huge difference between what you’re working on right now and what you usually did during academic days. Above all, at that time you were writing about things you had more knowledge about, not about Mary Magdalene and her role in Jesus Christ’s life.

“Ah, fuck it.”

You open an online Bible page and quickly type ‘Mary Magdalene’ in browser. All fragments when she’s mentioned shows up in front of your eyes. You fix your glasses and before you could stop yourself, you whisper, “Let’s get it.”

You don’t know how much time has passed since you started reading, but when you glance a the clock it’s nearly 7pm.

You went through every single page in the Bible when Mary Magdalene appears or when for some reason her name comes up in conversations. You read two thesis in which you found quite interesting facts about the heroine of your work. Also, you watched some conspiracy theories on YouTube about her, in which people claim that she was actually Jesus’ wife. You were bewildered, even in your post-hangover state.

And after all of this researching, you have settled a plan. You’re a journalist for God’s sake, you’ve been writing your entire life and none assignment will break you. So you start typing on the keyboard, filling the blank document pages with words, hoping that Park Jimin will approve your efforts.

On Sunday, you look like a ghost.

You’re a mess, cured from hangover but still in bad shape, especially after spending the whole night writing in front of your laptop. There are bangs under your eyes and you hair looks like you could cosplay a scarecrow. Your eyes are sore from staring to the screen for so long and you feel like you might collapse anytime if you won’t drink coffee in five minutes.

In between writing next paragraphs, you answer a call from Taehyung.

“How’s your assignment going, sweetheart?”

You let out a long, exhausted sigh. “It’s fine, I guess.” you respond to him.

“That’s lovely! I knew you would slay this, babe,” you hear him saying.

“I’m not done yet, Tae. I still have like a half to write,” you mumble and then let out a yawn, closing your eyes for a brief second before you speak again. “I would love to talk to you more but I really need to get this shit done as soon as I can, so I could have some decent sleep before Monday. I don’t want to look like an old witch when I hand in the paper to Park Jimin.”

“I know, I know. You got this, sweetheart. I’m sure you will make Mister Prude’s dick hard because of this.” Taehyung assures you.

You crack a tired smile even though you know he doesn’t see you. “Thank you, Tae.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” he says and hangs up.

You take another gulp of your coffee and start writing again.

It’s a little past midnight when you’re, with your last amounts of force you posses, typing the last words of the paper. As you look at your laptop screen, eyelids half-closed, you dream about nothing but going to sleep.

You did that. You really did. You wrote this stupid paper for Park Jimin and you’re actually proud of it. You carefully save the document three times (to be hundred percent sure) and as soon as you close your laptop, you pass out.

Little did you know what is waiting for you in editorial in a few hours.

You stare at your reflection in small mirror you hold, thanking God that he has enlightened the person who discovered make-up. You won’t say you look stunning but, after five hours of sleep you had in last two days, you would risk it all and say you appear much more than decent looking. You’re wearing your new black jumpsuit that makes your legs look longer and you even used a different shade of lipstick, painting your lips in crimson red.

And all of this for nothing, because when you stormed into the Sunday’s Spirit editorial to give the paper straight to Park Jimin’s hands, his secretary with polite smile said he’s coming to work later today.

You pursued your lips and handed the woman your blood, sweat and tears (you’re actually sure a few tears rolled down from your face on the keyboard while you were writing it), wishing you saw your boss’ face when you place the printed pages on his expensive desk.

“I changed a little bit the topic of my work while I was outlining it,” you tell Taehyung as you both sit together by your desks later that day. “I focused more on a role of Mary Magdalene character in world ruled only by men. I showed how a powerful woman she was, standing at Jesus’s side even though the church for the centuries referred her to whore,” you explain.

“Wow,” Taehyung muses. “You turned Mary Magdalene into feminism icon fighting against patriarchy.”

“It’s not like that!” You hit him in the arm. “You may laugh as much as you want but I actually got into her story.”

Taehyung smirks. “Looks like being scolded by Park Jimin wasn’t that bad.”

You roll your eyes. “Shut up. I got humiliated in the middle of fucking cafeteria. I still hate him. And also, I don’t know what he thinks about my essay.” you say with a sigh.

“Don’t worry. He’s probably having an epiphany right now while-”

A voice from the speakers that certainly doesn’t sound like gospel choir interrupts him.

“Miss Y/N, please report to the Park Jimin’s office immadietly.”

“-or he isn’t.” Taehyung ends.

Once again, you’re frozen in place. It’s okay, you tell yourself, maybe he just wants to talk about my essay. But what if he didn’t like it? What if your sudden feminism outburst about Mary Magdalene was too much?

“Holy fuck.” you blurt out quietly.

Taehyung gives you an encouraging smile but he doesn’t look much convinced in positive intentions of summoning you to their boss’ office, he just doesn’t say it aloud. “Well, maybe it won’t be that bad! Maybe he wants to congratulate you,” he tries to comfort you, without success. You look horribly pale and scared to death.

“I repeat: miss Y/N, please report to the Park Jimin’s office immadietly.” Jimin’s stone cold voice pierce through the silence again. You shiver. The journalists in the editorial send you impatient glares.

“Whatever happens, remember that I love you.” Taehyung whispers, squizzing your hand, which makes you even more nervous. He gives you thumbs-up and you take a deep breath, trying to calm your trembling body. A whole Sunday’s Spirit team follow your movements with their eyes.

You stands from your desk on wobbly legs and walk to the door with golden sign hanging on its surface.

 Park Jimin

 Editor-in-chief

You take the knob in your shaking palm and twist, stepping into the lion’s den.

The atmosphere seems to shift when you walk into the room. You could hear your heart rapidly beating through the dead silence that lingers in Park Jimin’s office. “You wanted to see me, sir?” you ask after closing the door, subconsciously cursing yourself for sounding so weak already.

“Yes, have a seat,” Jimin says. “Give me a second. I need to finish something.” he adds when you sit down, not even bothering to spare you a look.

Jimin sits behind his desk, eyes glued to the computer screen. His hair is pushed back from his forehead, his jaw clenched. Oh, great, he looks pissed, you think to yourself.

He isn’t wearing his suit jacket like usually, which surprises you. His white shirt’s sleeves are rolled up, revealing a glimpse of veiny hands and his Rolex. This is the first time you see him like this. He looks so… unlike him.

Strange.

You use the time you have to take in your surroundings. Jimin’s office is painted in fair tone of grey. The rumors were actually right, there’s a smaller version of Michelangelo’s Pietà standing proudly on of the drawers. Behind the desk, on the wall, hangs a wooden cross with gold-plated figurine of Jesus Christ, and just underneath it there’s a framed picture of Lady of Fatima, which he once proudly showed to the whole editorial team on one of the lunchbreaks, saying his grandmother brought him this from her pilgrimage.

You focus your attention now on the wall filled with numerous diplomas and certificates, all of them signed with Park Jimin’s name.

You had read some of his works before you started your job in Sunday’s Spirit and you must admit: Park Jimin is a talented, smart journalist you aspire to be one day. It’s actually sad, you think, that he can’t pursue his career, wasting his abilities by working in catholic newspaper owned by his father. And as you know from Yoongi, his situation isn’t going to change soon. Maybe he was right after all. Money really does rule this world.

After a few minutes that seems to last forever, Jimin breaks the silence. “Do you know why are you here?” he asks, finally averting his attention to you. He stares so deeply into your eyes that you feel you might faint from the intensity of his aura.

You clear your throat, and then respond. “I do believe it’s about my paper I handed in to you this morning.”

Jimin raises his eyebrow at that. “Your paper? No, everything’s fine about it. I read it and I must say, you did a great job,” he says and you furrow your eyebrows. So if nothing’s is wrong with your essay then what does he want?

“Then… why did you call me in, sir?” you hesitantly ponder.

Jimin laces his fingers together and leans closer over the desk. “Well,” he begins, “Maybe you forgot or you really didn’t know about it, but I used to run the same column as you do now,” You nod your head, recalling what Taehyung told you recently. Jimin continues, “I was actually the one who created it. That means I am still, for this day, its administrator. Which leads to another conclusion: every single ask that is send to our editorial and your responses to them can be monitored by me.” he explains, gauging your reaction. You still don’t have an idea why is he telling you that, so you just sit still and wait.

Then, Jimin reaches for the paper that lays on the left side of his desk and hands it to you. “Could you please tell me what is this?” he asks, pointing at the paper.

You glance at it briefly. “These are the questions I got last week and my responses to them.” you reply straightaway.

Park Jimin doesn’t seem much satisfied after hearing your words. He then takes another paper and gives it to you as well. “And this particular one, Y/N? Could you please read it and tell me what is this?”

Ignoring his forego of ‘miss’, you take it to your hands and start reading.

Dear Sunday’s Spirit editorial,

My name is Kang Seoyeon. I study medicine at the University of Seoul, I’ve got an amazing group of friends and a loving boyf-

You gasp and immadietly put a palm over your mouth. Under Seoyeon’s ask there’s also, clear as day, your much inappropriate response to her. In which you persuade the girl to suck her boyfriend off.

Holy fuck. Jesus Christ. Shitshitshit!

Jimin said he monitors everything that people send to the editorial along with the responds. Of course he had to read it. Why have you been so dumb? How could you believe that simple deleting from your inbox would be enough? Why can’t you do something properly for once?

You gulp, trying not to cry because good God, he’s going to fire you. He will kick you out and write a bunch of negative letters to your future employees, in which he will explain in details how disobiedent, reckless of a worker you are.

“Did you also forget how to speak?” Jimin asks. You almost cry out right away from the coldness of his voice.

You muster up a courage and look at him, and that’s a huge mistake because as soon as your eyes meet his, you’re lost for words.”I-I don’t know what to say, sir,” you stammer out. “I have nothing for my defence. I can only apologize for my irresponsible and inappropriate behavior I exhibited.” you say, bowing your head down.

Jimin pursues his lips. He stands from his chair and walks to you, leaning his body on the desk. He takes the paper from you to his hands and starts reading. “If you want to fuck your boyfriend, do it. Maybe God wouldn’t approve that but don’t worry, he won’t send you to hell because of some dick in your pussy,“ he quotes your response to the girl and your cheeks flush in red; you wish nothing more than to disappear and never see your boss again. But he’s relentless and continues reading, spilling the crude words, humiliating you even more. “So you go girl, suck your boyfriend off. Make him beg. He will never leave you after this.“ Jimin chuckles to himself darkly and you shut your eyes. “Look at me when you are spoken to,” he demands. You quickly oblige, lifting your chin a little to meet his intense gaze. “Is that really how a good, catholic girl should act?” he asks in a mocking tone.

You shake your head. “No, it isn’t.”

Jimin clicks his tongue. “Do you think he really won’t leave her after this?” he asks out of the blue.

You furrow your eyebrows. What kind of twisted game is he playing now? “I don’t know, sir.” you answer honestly.

Jimin smirks. Devilishly, sultry and completely illegal. He then licks his lips and leans closer to you. You could swear his eyes are darken than before. Something has shifted in his demeanor; he looks daring. “Why don’t you show me then, how this poor girl should suck her boyfriend off, Y/N?” he whispers lowly.

Your eyes widen. Did he just-?

He didn’t. He can’t. Maybe you misheard him, maybe you started imagining things that aren’t real. Oh, sweet Lord, the look of absolute seriousness written on his face tells you very much different.

Park Jimin, your boss, the man who goes regularly on masses and reads Bible, wants you to give him a head. In his office.

May the God help you.

You should probably slap him in the face for his immoral proposition. You should save your dignity, leave and never come back again. But then, you clear your mind from all those twisted thoughts running through it and you realise that you’re walking on a very thin line. Line which is called unemployment and bankruptcy.

You think about your landlord who praised you recently for keeping up with rent every month regularly. You think about your student loans that you still need to pay.

And fuck, you hate Yoongi because he was damn right. Money wouldn’t buy you happiness, but it can provide you that.

That’s why you put away the humiliation, the what ifs. You shut your mind screaming at you and listing the future consequences. Maybe Jimin just tests you, but the way he looks at you denies it. He wants to see you on your knees in front of him. Perhaps he only wants to play before he fires you but you put that thought aside.

You at least need to try.

Jimin searches for any kind of protest in your eyes and when he doesn’t find it, he’s back to his domineering self. “What are you waiting for?” he asks, his voice an octave lower. “Get on your knees.”

He has a calm expression on his face and you wonder for a moment how many times has he been in similar situation before. Having a woman on his mercy and using her the way he likes. And now you know. All those stories you heard about, are actually true. Park Jimin isn’t a prude. He’s dirty.

You fall to the floor with a light whimper. Maybe it’s the last chance for you to leave, but the confidence that emanates from Jimin doesn’t falter your movements. You hate yourself for that but God, you want to see this man being a mess for your touch. Even if that’s fucked up.

And it’s wrong, so, so wrong, when there’s a cross hanging behind you, when he’s your boss who claims to be a good catholic, when you do that because you’re too afraid to lose your job. But in that moment, the morality doesn’t exist.

Jimin stands up to take his belt off, looking at you from the above as he slowly, purposefully pulls it from the belt loops. He doesn’t encourage you or say anything, he just waits. You gulp when he yanks his black slacks down, along with his underwear.

For a few, solid seconds, you just stare.

You aren’t a connoisseur of dicks. Dick is a dick, but Park Jimin’s length is just as perfect as the rest of him, semi-hard against his lower stomach. Your hands move to his sculpted thighs, running up and down, tracing the prominent lines of his toned abdomen. The muscles tense underneath your touch.

You don’t remember when was the last time you’ve gone down on someone. Maybe it was Taehyung few months ago when you were both too drunk to care? You can’t quite recall. Every move of yours is uncertain, but Jimin doesn’t mind. Maybe your uncertainty turns him on even more.

He watches as you take him in your palm hesitantly, hot and already stiff, stroking him several times until he hardens in your hand. The sight is purely erotic, filthy, and you lick your lips before placing a light kiss on his tip. Jimin hisses. That’s a warning. No teasing.

You pump him, trailing a thumb over his slit, spreading precum all over his cock. Jimin doesn’t say anything but from the shuddering breath he lets out you assume he likes it. You take a deep breath, wrapping your lips around his dick and swirling your tongue around the head.

Jimin groans, a guttural sound resonating through his whole body and you take it as a sign to continue. You ease more of him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and bobbing your head up and down around his length obediently. Some twisted and fucked-up part of you wants him to praise you, call you good girl with your lips around his dick and throbbing core. He does none of that. His hands tangle in your hair as he withdraws, and you know exactly what’s coming next.

It’s an unspoken question on his lips and your jaw falls slacks on command.

A forceful push of his hips and he’s burried deep inside your mouth till he hits the back of your throat. Tears brim in your eyes and you gag, breathing heavily through your nose. It hurts a little, a dull ache but the content sigh and fucked-out expression on Jimin’s face is worth it. So you let him fuck your mouth the way he wants, let him pull your hair harder, wreck you a little more. It’s so easy to submit to him, to let him overwhelm you in every sense possible.

Your eyes fall shut and Jimin stops his movements, pulling from your mouth. Drool dribbles down your chin and you wipe it with the back of your hand. Jimin lets out a shaky breath, staring down at you so intensely it makes your insides tighten, even if you don’t see him yet.

“Look at me,” he rasps and you do, how could you not. The sight of your boss’ flushed cheeks and sweat forming on his forehead will be imprinted in your mind forever.

You curse yourself for wanting him to fuck you senseless right against his deck, with a hand around your throat muffling your screams, fuck you so hard you won’t remember your name anymore, no matter how wrong it is.

“Good girl. You’re so pretty like this, letting me fuck your mouth,” Jimin nothing but purrs, filling you to the brim again, until there are tears forming in your eyes and running down your cheeks, until he hits the base of your throat again and again and you fight back choked gags every time. “Just like that, fuck-” he moans, lowly and beautifully, head thrown back and mouth parted.

He’s close, you could feel that, so you take him deep once again and when your throat tightens around him one last time, he lets out a gutural groan and comes. You swallow every drop of his bitter release and when he pulls out from your mouth, you nearly fall forward.

Jimin catches you, placing his hands on your shoulders, balancing your exhausted body. You look at him through your half-lidded eyes. He looks so young now, so innocent, his cold demeanor’s gone and replaced by pure bliss written on his face. For Park Jimin, cheeks rosy, disheveled hair and loosen tie, you would do it all over again.

He then does something unexpected. He reaches for your face, brushing your tangled hair away and placing the strands behind your ears. This is a loving gesture, something exclusive he definitely shouldn’t be doing. You’re frozen, you can’t move a muscle while he wipes your cheeks from the reminiscences of your tears. He trails his thumb over your swollen lips absentmindedly, faltering there. For a moment he looks like he might say something, but he quickly shuts his mouth, regaining his previous posture.

You take this as a sign to leave. You get up from the floor, your knees sore from the uncomfortable position you’ve been in. You walk to the mirror that hangs on the wall of Jimin’s office. You sigh, seeing your current state. There’s no way someone would believe you that you haven’t just sucked a dick.

Your cheeks are flushed in pink, there are smudges of mascara under your eyes and your lipstick is smeared in the corners of your mouth. Not to mention your hair is still a mess.

You are painted in all shades of wrong.

In the reflection of the mirror you see Jimin buckling up his belt and straightening his tie. He runs a hand through his blond locks and looks up, catching you staring at him. You quickly look away.

“Don’t worry. No one will notice anything. Everyone should be off for their lunchbreaks by now.” he says. He sounds so pathetically normal, yet there’s still a slight rasp in his voice.

You glance at the watch on your hand and check the time. It’s a little past 12. You brush your hair with your fingers quickly and proceed to leave, but you stop, remembering you have to ask about one last thing. You turn around to face him.

“Are you going to write a bad opinion about me to my future employees?” you ask, flinching at the hoarseness of your voice.

Jimin raises his eyebrows. “Bad opinion? No, absolutely not,” he answers, shaking his head. “I was never going to fire you in first place.”

You fight back the shocked expression that threatens to appear on your face. You quickly rush to leave this damn office and never look in his eyes ever again. What were you even thinking?

“And Y/N,” Jimin’s voice makes you stop with your hand hovering over the door knob. Single tear rolls down your cheek and you gulp. “I’m sorry.” it’s all he says.

You don’t ask him what he meant by that. You don’t deliberate if he was sincere or not. You leave the office as soon as you can, running to the nearest bathroom, closing the door behind you and leaning on it.

He wasn’t going to fire you. He just wanted to use you, demand to get down on your knees and please him the way he wants. It was all a game for him, and you became his plaything.

“I’m so stupid,” you mutter to yourself, burying your head in your hands. “God, I’m so stupid.”

You feel sick, used, but at the same time you can’t get away with creeping feeling that you enjoyed it, wishing he wanted you just as much as you wanted him in that moment.

You sigh, closing your eyes. You’re probably foolish for thinking it won’t have any consequences. You’re just about to face them.

The coldness of early Spring hits you when you exit Sunday’s Spirit editorial. You hug your body tighter with your coat, standing in front of the building awkwardly. You take a few deep breaths, trying to clear your mind, but nothing really works. There’s a vacant space inside your body, like your soul has drifted away and left nothing but emptiness.

You feel hollow.

You don’t know how long have you been standing there, inhaling fresh air and waiting for your blood to start circulating properly in your veins again. When you’re about to head to the underground station, on the corner of your eye you see Jimin’s black Mercedes. You probably shouldn’t stare but you helplessly do.

Probably if you didn’t, it would hurt less.

He approaches the car, looking perfectly fine as always, which you couldn’t say about yourself. And he isn’t alone.

You recognize dark curls of Chins-sun’s hair, contrasting her beige coat beautifully. The corners of Jimin’s lips lift when he sees her. You don’t know if it’s a honest smile or a forced one. You wonder for a while how does he look like when he’s truly happy. Maybe he’s happy now, when Chin-sun is by his side.

What you are really sure about Park Jimin, is that he’s a man of many maybes.

Something which definitely doesn’t look forced are his palms, cupping the cheeks of Chin-sun’s flushed face. He starts tracing circles on her skin in intimate gesture and murmurs something. Maybe he asks her how was her day. Your lips still tingle where he trailed his thumb over it bitten, swollen surface. Maybe he still remembers how they felt around his cock when he was relentlessly bringing tears to your eyes and stabs to your heart.

The way he leans and kisses Chin-sun’s cherry colored lips is purposeful, perfectly measured. Maybe he sighs into her mouth with content, a beautiful sound you have witnessed with your own ears, as you were working him to his climax. Jimin’s hands grip Chin-sun’s dark locks but it isn’t the similar manner he did to you earlier, as he laced his fingers through the strands, when you wished him to do nothing more than pull harder and harder, until the pain in you scalp was replaced by dull ache, until a whimper fell from your lips and eyes squeezed shut. He kisses Chin-sun lovingly and there’s no roughness in that. It’s gentle caresses and soft murmurs.

After a moment he breaks off, soothing his palms over Chin-sun’s shoulders. She sends him a smile and opens the passenger’s door, getting into the car. And then, when you swallow a lump in your throat, when you decide to turn around and go, run as fast as you possibly can, when you dream about nothing more but never seeing him again, you catch eyes with him.

Jimin looks pathetically apologetic. There’s something in his dark brown orbs you can’t read. Maybe it’s guilt, maybe regret. Park Jimin is a man of many maybes, yet he stares at you with expression you could only mistaken for sadness.

You wonder if he sees the way your eyes stare at him blankly. You wonder if he knows how he nearly wrecked your body and made you feel things you shouldn’t. If he hurts the same way as you do now. However, Jimin quickly diverts his head away from you, closing the door to his car behind him as well. You laugh quietly at the ridiculousness of this situation. A bitter laugh that escapes your mouth and deepen the hollowness inside you.

A hand touches your arm and you don’t even flinch, knowing already who it is.

“So you know the news,” Taehyung says, looking at Jimin’s car leaving the parking lot. How long has he been standing behind you?

“What news?” you ask, turning your head to look at him.

“Chin-sun is really going to be miss Park officially,” he replies. “Jimin proposed to her this weekend. The wedding is in may. But that’s not important right now. How’s your conversation with him, sweetheart?”

You feel sick. You excuse yourself, mentioning something about needing to catch earlier train and texting him later. Taehyung calls after you but you don’t listen. You start running.

You run until you couldn’t breathe, until there’s a soreness in your throat from the coldness of air. You run until you reach your apartment, stumbling into it on wobbly legs. Your back touches the wall and you slide off, sitting on the floor.

You don’t cry. The tears don’t strain your eyes. It’s only this damned, dull hollowness.

There’s written in the Bible that a guilty person is the one who broke God’s law, who committed a sin. The said person will be judged by their actions after their death. Because every human being has a conscience, the thing that sets the line between good and bad, so when we did something wrong, we should feel remorse.

When you sit on the floor and stare blankly in front of yourself, you know you have sinned.You both did. You wonder if he, trailing patterns of tender touches on his fiancee’s skin, feels the same as you. You wonder if guilt eats him up as much as devours you. Maybe there’s hollow ache in his chest, just like in yours. Maybe he doesn’t feel anything.

And may the God help you both find your redemption.

[ryanmeft]

Ryan’s Favorite Films of 2019

A stuttering detective,

A top hat-wearing vamp

A forced-perspective war,

A bit of Blaxploitation camp

Prisoners on a space ship

Having sex with bears

A writer goes remembering

Whenever his pain flares

  A prancing, dancing Hitler

A gambler high on strife

Here will go cavorting with

A mom who becomes a wife

A family plot with many threads

Three men against their own

A stuntman and his actor

A mobster now quite alone

Doubles under the earth

Two men in a tall house

Are here to watch a woman who

Is battling with her spouse

A family’s plans for their strong son

Go awry one night

A man rejects his country

Which is spoiling for a fight

 A house built by his grandpa

(Maybe; we’re not sure)

Looks out upon three prisoners

Whose passions are a lure

  All these are on my list this year

It’s longer than before

Because picking only ten this time

Was too great of a chore

  What are limits anyway?

They’re just things we invented

I don’t really find them useful

So, this year, I’ve dissented

  You may have noticed this time out

That numbers, I did grant

Promise they’ll stay in this order, though?

Now that, I just can’t

  I’m always changing my mind

Because, after all, you see

Good film is about the heart

And mine’s rather finicky

  There are a lot more I could name

(And I’ll change my mind at any time)

For now, though, consider these

The ones I found sublime

 20. Motherless Brooklyn

I’ve got a (hard-boiled) soft spot for 90’s neo-noirs like L.A. Confidential, Red Rock West and Seven, and Edward Norton’s ‘50’s take on Jonathan Lethem’s 90’s -set novel can stand firmly in that company.

19. Doctor Sleep

There’s something about Stephen King’s best writing that transcends mere popularity; his work may not be fine literature, but it is immune to the fads of the moment. So, too, are the best movies based on that work. This one, an engaging adventure-horror, deserved better than it got from audiences.

18. Jojo Rabbit

There was a time when the anything-goes satire of Mel Brooks could produce a major box office hit.  Disney’s prudish refusal to market the film coupled with the dominance of franchises means that’s no longer the case. If you bothered to give Jojo a shot, though, you got the strange-but-rewarding experience of guffawing one moment and being horrified the next.

17. By The Grace of God

I’d venture this is the least-seen film on my list; even among us brie-eating, wine-sniffing art house snobs, I rarely hear it mentioned. Focusing on the perspectives of three men dealing with a particularly heinous and unrepentant abusive priest and the hierarchy that protects him, it’s every bit as disquieting and infuriating as 2015’s Oscar-winning Spotlight.

16. Waves

You think Trey Edward Shultz’s Waves will be one thing---a domestic drama about an affluent African-American family (and that in and of itself is a rarity). Then it becomes something else entirely. It addresses something movies often avoid: that as life goes on, the person telling the story will always change.

15. Transit

You’re better off not questioning exactly where and when the film is set (it is based on a book about Nazi Germany but has been changed to be a more generalized Fascist state). The central theme here is identity, as three people change theirs back and forth based on need and desire.

14. American Woman

Movies about regular, working class, small-town American usually focus on men. This one is about a much-too-young mother and grandmother, played brilliantly by Sierra Miller, dealing with unexpected loss and the attendant responsibilities she isn’t ready for. 

13. Marriage Story

There is an argument between a married couple in here that is as true a human moment as ever was on screen---free of trumped-up screenplay drama and accurate to how angry people really argue. The entire movie strives to be about the kind of realistic divorce you don’t see on-screen. It is oddly refreshing.

12. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino’s love letter to 70’s Tinseltown is essentially a question: What if the murder that changed the industry forever had gone down differently? Along the way, it also manages to be a clever and insightful study of fame and fulfillment, or lack thereof.

11. High Life

Claire Denis is damned determined not to be boring. Your reaction to her latest film will probably depend on how receptive you are to that as the driving force of a film. Myself, I’m very receptive. I want to see the personal struggles of convicts unwittingly shipped into space, told without Action-Adventure tropes, in a movie that sometimes misfires but is never dull.

 10. Dolemite Is My Name

And fuckin’ up motherfuckers is my game! Look, if you don’t like naughty words, you probably shouldn’t be reading my columns---and you definitely shouldn’t be watching this movie. Eddie Murphy plays Rudy Ray Moore, the ambitious, irrepressible and endlessly optimistic creator of Blaxpoitation character Dolemite. Have you seen the 1975 film? It’s either terrible and wonderful, or wonderful and terrible, and the jury’s still out. Either way, Moore in the film is a self-made comic who establishes himself by talking in a unique rhyming style that speaks to black Americans at a time when black pop culture (and not just the white rendition of it) was finally beginning to pierce the American consciousness. What The Disaster Artist did for The Room, this movie does for Dolemite---with the difference being I felt like I learned something I didn’t know here.

 9. 1917

Breathless, nerve-wracking and somehow intensely personal even though it almost never takes time to slow down, it is fair to call Sam Mendes’s film a thrill ride---but it’s one that enlightens us on a fading historical time, rather than simply being empty calories. Filmed in such a way as to make it seem like one continuous, two-hour take, for which some critics dismissed it as a gimmick, the technique is used to lock us in with the soldiers whose mission it is to save an entire division from disaster. We are given no information or perspective that the two central soldiers---merely two, in a countless multitude---do not have, and so we are with them at every moment, deprived of the relief of omniscience. I freely admit I tend to give anything about World War I the benefit of the doubt, but there’s no doubt that the movie earns my trust.

8. Ash Is Purest White

Known by the much less cool-sounding name Sons and Daughters of Jianghu in China, here is a story that starts off ostensibly about crime---a young woman and her boyfriend are powerful in the small-potatoes mob scene of a dying industrial town---but after the surprising first act becomes a meditation on life, perseverance and exactly how much power is worth, anyway, when it is so fleeting and so easily lost. What do you do when everything that defined you is gone? You go on living. This is my first exposure to writer-director Jia Zhangke, an oversight I must strive hard to correct in future.

7. Knives Out

The whodunit is a lost art, a standard genre belonging to a time when mass audiences could appreciate a picture even if someone didn’t run, yell or explode while running and yelling every ten minutes. Rian Johnson and an all-star cast rescued it from the brink of cinematic extinction and gave it just enough of a modern injection to keep it relevant. Every second of the film is engaging; Johnson even manages to have a character whose central trait is throwing up when asked to lie, and he makes it seem sympathetic rather than juvenile. The fantastic cast of characters is backed up with all the qualities of “true” cinema: perfect camerawork, an effective score, mesmerizing production design. As someone who didn’t much care for Johnson’s Star Wars outing, I’m honestly put out this didn’t do better at the box office than it did.

6. A Hidden Life

After a few questionable efforts and completely losing the thread with the execrable vanity project Song to Song, Terence Malick returns to his bread and butter: meditative dramas on the nature of faith, family, and being on the outside looking in, which encompass a healthy dose of nature, philosophy and people talking without moving their lips. That last is a little dig, but it’s true: Malick does Malick, and if you don’t like his thing, this true story about a German dissenter in World War II will not change your mind. For me, what Malick has done is that rarest of things: he had made a movie about faith, and about a character who is faithful, without proselytizing. That the closeness and repressiveness of the Nazi regime is characterized against Malick’s typical soaring backdrops is a masterstroke, and the best-ever use of his visual style.

5. The Lighthouse

Robert Eggers is a different kind of horror filmmaker. After redefining what was possible with traditional horror monsters in The Witch, he returned with something that couldn’t be more different: an exploration of madness more in the vein of European film than American. Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe are two men stranded in a lighthouse together slowly losing their minds, or what is left of them. The haunting score and stark, black-and-white photography evoke a nightmare caught on tape, something we’re not supposed to be seeing. It’s not satisfying in a traditional way, but for those craving something more cerebral from horror, Eggers has it covered.

4. Us

I have become slightly notorious in my own little circle for not thinking Get Out was the greatest film ever made, and now I’ve become rather known for thinking Us just might be. Ok, so that’s definite hyperbole: “greatest” is a tall claim for almost any horror movie. Yet here Jordan Peele shows that he can command an audience’s attention even when not benefiting from a popular cultural zeitgeist in terms of subject matter. It’s a movie with no easy or clear message, one that specializes in simply unsettling us with the idea that the world is fundamentally Not Right. I firmly believe that if Peele becomes a force in the genre, 50 years from now when he and all of us are gone, his first film will be remembered as a competent start, while this will be remembered as the beginning of his greatness.

3. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

Ostensibly about urban gentrification, this story of a young black man trying to save his ancestral home from the grasping reach of white encroachment is a flower with many petals to reveal. Don’t let my political-sounding description turn you off: the movie is not a polemic in the slightest, but rather a wry, sensitive look at people, their personalities and how those personalities are intertwined with the places they call home. Though the movie is the directorial debut of Joe Talbot, it is based loosely on the memories and feelings of his friend Jimmie Falls, who also plays one of the two central characters. If you’ve ever watched a place you love fall to the ravages of time and change, this movie may strike quite a chord with you.

2. Uncut Gems

When asked why this movie is great, I usually say that it was unbelievably stressful and caused me great anxiety. This description is not usually successful in selling it. The Safdie Brothers have essentially filmed chaos: a man self-destructing in slow-motion, if you can call it slow. Howard Ratner has probably been gradually exploding all his life; he strikes you as someone who came out of the womb throwing punches. He’s an addictive gambler who loves the risk much more than the reward, and can’t gain anything good in life without risking it on a proverbial roll of the dice. His behavior is destructive. His attitude is toxic. Why do we root for him? Perhaps because, as played by Adam Sandler, he never has any doubt as to who he is---something few of us can say. He’s an asshole, but he’s a genuine asshole, and somehow that’s appealing even when you’re in his line of fire.

1. Pain and Glory

When I realized I would, for the first time, have the chance to see a Pedro Almodovar film on the screen, I was overjoyed. His movies aren’t always great, but that was of little concern: he’s one of the handful of directors on the planet who can fairly call back to the avant-garde traditions of Bergman or Truffaut, making the movies he wants to make about the things he want to make them about, and I’d never seen one of his films when it was new and fresh, only months or years later on DVD.

It seems I picked right, as his latest has been almost universally hailed as one of the best of his long career. An aging, aching filmmaker spends his days in his apartment, ignoring the fans of his original hit film and most of his own acquaintances, alive or dead---he tries hard to put his memories away. Throughout the course of the movie, he re-engages with most of them in one way or another, coming to terms with who he is and where he’s been, though not in a Hallmark-movie-of-the-week way. Antonio Banderas plays him in the role that was always denied him by his stud status in Hollywood. It isn’t simply him, though: every person we meet is engaging and, we sense, has their own story outside of how they intersect with his. Most engaging is that of his deceased mother, who in her youth was played vivaciously by a sun-toughened Penelope Cruz. Perhaps Almodovar will tell us some of their stories some day. Perhaps not. I would read an entire book of short fiction all about them. This is the year’s best film.

[thejosh1980]

Update #21 – 1 week at “The Ocean Shores Resort”

Update #21 – 1 week at “The Ocean Shores Resort”

A week ago we left quarantine in Adelaide!!!

It's been another week of mixed emotions, but I have to say, for the first time in months, they've been mostly on the positive side of things.

Last Tuesday, we left the hotel without too much hassle. They'd given us a basic breakfast the night before to have first thing and they called us down early; luckily we were ready and down the stairs we went. Before you know it, we were in the hotel reception taking our masks off!

Adelaide and South Australia are COVID free, so no masks, no problems.

The checkout was quick (the big bill comes in a few weeks!!), the staff were awesome and the police informative. They all understand that quarantine is not easy on anyone, and they were patient with our questions and worries. We had won the jackpot of quarantine hotels: Pullman Adelaide and the staff helped make our stay tolerable.

Jumped in a taxi (with masks on cause we really weren't sure yet how to behave in the outside world) and off to the airport. We had to leave the hotel by 07:30, because another bus of incoming “Covicts” were coming in that morning. Our flight was at 11:50 up to Brisbane, so it was yet another waiting game to check in and fly. But first... coffee! (we actually bought a coffee from a coffee shop! Amazing!! It's the small things...).

The flight was about about 2/3's full, no masks.

Landing in Brisbane we had to do a border check, show our papers, explain where we had been and all that. The check was there to stop anyone who may have COVID from coming in without quarantining. Each State has slightly different rules, and they do change from time to time, depending on hotspots and COVID numbers. Because the flight was from Adelaide and we left the hotel directly to the airport, we made sure we had no problems entering Brisbane (Queensland). We definitely didn't want any chance of another 14 day hotel stay!!!

Our original plan was to fly into the Gold Coast airport, which is only about 35 minutes from Mum, but there were no flights on our leaving day, so we had to fly into Brisbane (which is 2 hours from Mum's). My cousin picked us up (bloody legend!). We were hungry, and we went directly to Yatala pies. This was the moment I started to realize we were almost home. The taste of home! (Yatala Pies is a well known bakery south of Brisbane, a regular stop for many).

My cousin could drive us as far as the QLD/NSW border. Once there, we walked across the border and Dave picked us up on the other side. A little complicated, but sure enough, the plan worked.

The whole experience felt like something out of the movies. Not that it was all “Hollywood”. It was more like: I can't believe this is finally happening. I wasn't really in the moment. Yet.

As we were getting close to “The Ocean Shores Resort” (which is the name we have for my Mum's house) I still didn't feel calm...

Anyhow, we arrived, and if you've seen our IG or FB Story on the day, you'd know that when I knocked on the front door, we had actually surprised Mum (a little early), and she couldn't find the front door key to let us in!! So our reunion started off with a scream and eventually a laugh!!

Mum did cry, but we all expected her to cry more... ;) Honestly, I think we both had cried too much the past 2 months, it was no longer needed. It was all about joy and happiness.

After meeting and hugging Alex (some more tears) we entered the house to find Mum had a “welcome home” sign and our picture up on the walls (lots of me and Alex, can't go wrong with that!!).

It was surreal.

A quick house tour for Alex and we settled down. Lots of chatting and catching up to do, and a roast dinner!

We'd made it.

The next morning (Wednesday), a son's work is never done and I was up early to take Mum to school. She's part of the support unit inside the primary school, working with kids with Autism.

Even though her eyesight is deteriorating, Mum can still work. Driving a car; that's out of the question. Reading the “use by date” on a packet of chips is almost impossible. Keeping an eye on children in the playground, developing their social skills or helping them with their school work (considering the text is usually quite large and the pictures bold) Mum can still do really well.

I've learnt she has figured out ways to cope with her eyes. She has a great memory, so once she's told something, she can remember it really well (like recipes for cooking etc). She's still a keen bargain hunter when it comes to shopping. I enjoy learning that she's kept her life as close to “normal” as possible, making small changes to the bigger things to keep her independence.

But it's those small things that are hard to do alone, which is why I'm here...

After dropping Mum off, Alex and I spent the morning of our first full day in Brunswick Heads. This is the town I lived in from the mid 80's until late 90's. I went to primary school here, learned to surf here, and know the old names of the shops (the hair dressers is now a surf shop, the butcher's is a cafe, the ice cream shop is a real estate agent and the bank has recently closed). Lots of changes for me, lots of new things for Alex.

We also went down to the beach, the south wall of the Brunswick River, where the river meets the ocean. We watched some waves. Taking in the salt air (I don't think I ever realized how salty the air is here until now).

It was a relaxing day.

But I still wasn't quite “here” in my head and heart. Leaving Dresden back in July, only to be delayed for 7 weeks, then another 2 weeks in quarantine, was going to take sometime to overcome.

Time to pick up Mum from school... Home... Unpack a little, dinner, chatting and a little TV.

Thursday morning, it was time for another radio interview. To finish off the 3 part story with ABC North Coast Radio I did another live interview with Joanne Shoebridge. I'm always nervous doing these kinds of things, even though in the music world, I've had to do interviews, they were never quite as personal as this.

After we dropped Mum off at school Thursday morning, we drove up to the Cape Byron Lighthouse and luckily got a park up close to the top.

I wanted to introduce Alex to the area as much as I could, without overwhelming her. Brunswick Heads, Ocean Shores, Mullumbimby and Byron Bay all played a big part of my childhood, and I wanted her to at least know these villages a little bit as early as possible. We'd covered Brunswick Heads and Ocean Shores a little, so now it was time for Byron Bay.

Bring on the whale watching!!

Within minutes of leaving the car, we could see whales jumping out and swimming around the cape. It was a wonderful morning. I'm so glad Alex got to see them (in fact I can't remember the last time I saw whales so close to the shore). They migrate each year around September/October, so it was perfect timing.

It was a special day for Alex...

The sun was shining, the whales were in plain sight and the tourists were kind enough to stay away from Byron Bay. COVID does have its benefits. Fewer people in these tourist spots isn't always bad (although I am quite aware the economy is suffering. The borders are opening up next week and it'll be very busy then).

Back into Ocean Shores, picked up Mum from school. Home... Dinner.. Chatting... Some TV...

Friday was the first day we had to do “stuff” in regards to living here permanently, and that was banking. So after dropping mum off at work, we drove into Mullumbimby “The Biggest Little Town In Australia”. I went to high school here.

Basically Brunswick Heads and Mullumbimby are like Neustadt in Dresden. You can't walk down the street without seeing someone you know, stopping and chatting. It happened in Brunz the other day, I literally parked my car, and lo and behold an old high school friend came out of the video store to say hi... Or in Mullum, as we arrive at the bank I see an old friend who used to teach me rock n roll dancing (yeah, I can still cut a rug)... and even inside the bank, I said hi to a fella from my high school year, we hadn't seen each other since 1997.

It's a small world...

The banking took a bit longer than expected, after much back and forward we settled on our new bank accounts and how to arrange things going forward. While I've had an account here since I was very very young, I cancelled most of my stuff when I left in 2002, so now it was time to set up shop again, especially since I had my wife with me and we have a future to work towards...

We walked the street of Mullum, grabbed a coffee and we let the country hippy vibe soak in. Alex commented on how many folks don't wear shoes here and she can't believe how many new coffee shops there are for her to try (there's a lot more than when I was a kid).

Picked up Mum from school... School holidays for 2 weeks! Yippeee!!

Home... Dinner... Chatting... some TV...

Over the weekend we sorted out things around the house. Set up better internet Wifi around the house, the pool is in good condition after the winter sleep, cupboards got cleaned out and we unpacked and the car was washed (first time I've hand washed a car in over a decade!).

Sunday I watched Mark's live stream (from his front porch in upstate New York) and I felt inspired (he does that to me). So I am considering live streaming next week. I have a guitar and good internet, so why not? I just have to find time to practice ;) I'm thinking net Sunday evening here, which would be Sunday lunch time in Germany. If I don't get to it this Sunday, then maybe next Sunday... I'll keep you posted.

Overall the weather has been warm, often over 20 degrees. But the mornings are still quite chilly, with frosty dew on the golf course out back. It's not bad for coming out of winter...

Today, Monday, we went “up the coast”, to Tweed Heads.

First thing we tried to exchange my German license for a mandatory NSW (State) license, unfortunately I gotta wait for some back checks, no idea what I did 19 years ago in Melbourne, but they wanna check it out. So onwards to shopping...

Yes!!! We bought a coffee machine! Finally we can wake and with a press of a button get ourselves a cup of joe. It's the small things....

Helped mum with the grocery shopping. She knows her stuff. She knows where everything is in every shop, but sometimes she just needs me to reassure her what is actually written on the box or package!!!

So that's basically our first week...

We are settling in well. Alex and Mum get on like a house on fire. I often can't get a word in edgewise and I'm always outvoted!

I still miss Germany and I still miss Europe... (I always will). I miss a lot of the “past life”, but that's just cause Australia has moved on without me these past 18 years. Each day here I get a little closer to that homey feeling I used to have as a teenager (when I didn't know better).

In hindsight, the past 3 months wasn't too bad... We survived... But that's easy to say now...

When we were in the middle of it, it was really tough.

It was really hard packing up our lives into boxes. It was emotionally draining saying goodbye after goodbye to our wonderful friends. Playing my goodbye show was one of the musical highlights of my life, even if it was one of the saddest.

Then we were ready to leave...

As you all know, that didn't go according to plan.

That's when the really bad feelings crept in. You know it's one thing to know you gotta pack up and say goodbye to leave (you are prepared for that)... It's another when you're ready and the world says “nope, not yet”... and again and again that build up and let down was happening, and until the last 2 weeks in Germany, we had no idea why!

As some of you know, I'm not really good at spontaneity. I'm not good when the plan changes... It was tough... But...

When we took control of the situation and booked new flights, it helped a lot. We were back in control.

Quarantine was a difficult time, it got a little dark there. It brought with it, it's own set of challenges and a steep learning curve. I, for one, learnt a lot about pressure. I put too much pressure on myself. Since we arrived here, I have tried my best to relax more, in my own way at least. My to do lists are shorter...

Alex and I had already figured out how to survive the German lockdown, the packing up of our lives and clearing out the apartment. Then we had 2 months at her parents stuck in “limbo” and then 2 weeks stuck in a room together. Our marriage is really new, and we survived that without any damage to our relationship. Sure, we both have a few personal scars, but nothing a little love and tenderness wont fix. I'm proud of her, Alex has a lot of patience for me!

I'm really happy I am here to help Mum each day. Those small things will slowly become bigger things, but for now, it's great to be able to do “stuff” with her. That was always the plan, to be here in time, before things got really bad.

We've been posting often on our IG and FB stories, so I hope folks have seen the day to day happenings. I'm sure we'll continue with that, keeping you up to date visually.

I think I'll end these FB journals here, and switch over to Tumblr full time. The idea being that if you'd like to continue to read these long “new life” chronicles, I'll still post a link here when I do update there... Confused? Me too! ;)

Thanks everyone for your messages of support and love. We are very lucky, we have the best friends.... You guys rock! You're awesome! We love you.

Love

Josh and @dauntlesscoffee

[kpopchangedme]

Saint-Agnès de Roma | Mark Tuan

A scholarship student like you has no business hanging out with the cool, filthy rich, teens of your private Academy... But somehow you still end up playing a naughty game with that one guy…

|| M.List || GOT7 ||

Protagonists: Mark Tuan & You

Word count: 8.2k

Genre: (N)SFW | Seven Minutes in Heaven | Boarding School | Enemies | First Love | **Unholy stuff**Catholic references**Swearing**Suggestive**

Lysandre’ note: FINALLY POSTING A NEW FIC. Trying to see if my shadowban is gone for ever and ever and ever. :’D I’m excited (can’t you tell?) and hope you like this.

Snippet: “You were kind of expecting the Reverend Mother to appear and throw the door open, yelling at you and Mark to get on your knees and recite Hail Mary any seconds now. He smiled, face glowing, illuminated only by the small rays of light coming through the door crack. Mark had a dangerous animalistic smile, one exposing canines and baring far too many teeth, often it made him look spooky.  “Relax.” He commanded, hand climbing slowly on your side as his breathing neared your cheek. “I’m not gonna jump you. You were such a tease earlier. Is this really your first time?””

It was the long weekend of Thanksgiving, which for the rest of the students of the country, meant enjoying great food with their loving families. To the students of Saint-Agnès de Roma however, it was merely an opportunity to leave the dormitory and go wild for four days straight. If Jackson – the youngest son of the Wang family, and occasionally your best friend – was the one telling this story, he’d probably put it that way: Thanksgiving was the Saint-Agnès get-fucked Holiday. For all those ridiculously rich teenagers that long weekend meant; ski trips to the Rocky Mountains, manors deserted of any parental figures, countless parties and even shopping sprees to London or Paris.

You couldn’t care less about all that.

For you, every year, holidays only meant having the girl’s senior dormitory all to yourself. For a few nights only, you wouldn’t be woken up by your roommate’s grinding her teeth, your studies wouldn’t be delayed by some jock disrupting the peace and quiet of the library. Thankfully, they were only a few students that stayed over during the rare weekends of freedom: the ones with family issues so bad they’d rather be here than home, and the ones with an official school punishment.

You were neither; the exception, the scholarship peasant, there merely to make others feel better about themselves.

This year’s get-fucked Holiday however, you had agreed to do something quite unorthodoxy.

Soothing imaginary wrinkles on your skirt, you breathed in slowly to gather courage as you neared the Wang’s mansion. You were beginning to wonder why you accepted to come in the first place. You shouldn’t have given in to your best friend’s plea, him begging didn’t make you special in any way. Jackson had always been extra like that. He was a social butterfly and he was ‘close’ with everyone and their mothers. You guys were polar opposites and there were days where you were convinced Jackson believed himself to be the center of the universe, which was only partially right.

Still, even with his amazing social skills, sometimes it seemed that Jackson couldn’t understand the most basic things about humans in society: Birds of a feather flock together.

No matter how hard he’d try, his friends would never accept you.

It wasn’t true that finally joining one of his little ‘get-togethers’ would suddenly make you fit in with the cool crowd. Besides, it’s not like you even wanted those rich brats to like you. You’d gone through Middle School and most of High School invisible. You could endure what was left of Senior year being known as "that kid”. It wouldn’t kill you and you’d much rather spend your Friday night alone at the dorm, binging the latest tv show on Netflix, than with all of them.

Unfortunately, Jackson would never forgive you if you bailed out now. He freaked out when you tried to refuse his invitation for the hundredth time. He kept insisting tonight was going to be the ‘greatest night of your life’. Unfortunately, if all the invitations to his previous parties were anything to go by, you bet you’d still hear this argument to try to convince you to come to the next one too… And all the ones after that.

Jackson couldn’t stand the idea of people staying on the sidelines, and you knew why. He was just as righteous and idealistic as his father, Mr. Wang – probably the only billionaire in the world who always insisted to be called by his first name.

Ruiju Wang was one of the biggest benefactors of, not only the Middle School of Sacred Heart and its big sister’s Saint-Agnès de Roma Academy but also of the local orphanage. That was the only reason a kid like you got to meet a golden spoon heir like Jackson in the first place. You being a big bookworm and nerd was only coincidental, and Ruiju, seeing your potential, offered to the Sisters of the orphanage to sponsor your studies in the top schools of the area. You had always been thankful, graduating from Saint-Agnès Academy, despite your unfortunate background, guaranteed you’d get into one of the best universities of the world.

Thanks to the Wang’s gigantic fortune – mostly made in the late 70s by grandma Zhou, who Jackson once told you built a highly illegal traffic ring of tobacco and opium in British controlled Hong Kong – you now had a promising future. Perhaps that’s why you hated to disappoint your best friend. A future was a gift most orphans of the world would kill for.

Perhaps that’s also why you made it to his giant wooden front door, Friday of this Thanksgiving Holiday. Your finger hovered for a short second over the doorbell, still hesitating to join the party. But even so, your choice had already been made, you promised Jackson...

Seconds later, you were already following your very excited friend through the maze of corridors. It seemed you were heading to the East living room where you had already been countless times for the Wang’s charity events. It was an isolated part of the house, as opposed to where the rooms of the three living servants – but they called them employees – were. Ruiju and Sophia Wang had left for Australia to visit their eldest son and his family. Jackson opted out, favouring this little get together instead.

“I am sooooo glad you came y/n! You are not going to regret this!”

You could only lie through your teeth, this would be your first party ever and you didn’t belong here at all. If it was anything close to what you heard from rumours at school or seen in 90s teen movies, you’d flee without hesitation.

“TA-DAH!”

Jackson threw the doors of the living room open in front of you, spreading his arms widely. The small group of partygoers inside turned to stare at your entrance, as though you dramatically interrupted the most serious talk ever. He wasn’t kidding when he said it would be a small gathering, there was only around ten people, and you knew all of them from school.

“Wow, isn’t this a sight to behold.” Salome – head of the Senior’s Girl Dormitory, Captain of the Girl’s Lacrosse team and second-best student of Saint-Agnès – giggled, staring at you up and down. She was the devil incarnate and you threw an accusing glare at Jackson, who had conveniently not mentioned her being here. She hated you for always placing first despite lacking the help of expensive private tutors and made sure your life was hellish because of it. “How’d you manage to leave school y/n? I bet your convent strongly opposed.”

“I took the bus.” You answered sarcastically, choosing to ignore her last insinuation. You weren’t a nun, and you took the glass of colourful punch Jackson was already handing you as if to prove it.

You drank the cold alcoholized juice, walking closer to the group. It tasted like what you always imagined a vacation to the Caribbean would; sugary, with too much stuff going on, but overall enjoyable. Tonight would be your first time really drinking alcohol, but you were determined to try to blend in and that clearly meant boozing. A lot.

“I didn’t know public transportation served this neighbourhood,” Salome mused, frowning in disapproval.

It didn’t. You always had to walk 30 minutes after the nearest bus stop to make it to the Wang’s.

“Anyway, I’m glad you could join us.” A dangerous smile stretched her lips and you swear you saw Mark Tuan – descending of a long lineage of Saint Agnès alumnae and infamous serial-dater – squeeze her shoulder to ease her. It looked like these two were on again, his right arm was stretched to enclose her against his chest, as if afraid she’d dare breathe if he’d let go for a second.

“Everyone, this is my best friend y/n, she goes to Saint-Agnès too.” Jackson beamed as you carefully sat at the last empty spot of their circle. In front of you, Salome exchanged a long look with her friend Marissa – a total bitch from a new money family. The others all smiled and nodded, nonchalant at best. You had known most of them for years although you’d never spoken, and you were pretty sure they also already knew who you were. “Be nice, she’ll join our game! Where were we?”

“Katy was about to tell us about the weirdest place she has ever woken up in!” Salome laughed and Katy’s boyfriend Luis – the grandnephew of the Tsar of Bulgaria, or whatever – groaned, embarrassed for her.

“Come on, tell us!” Someone else’s pressed on, impatient. “It can’t be bad enough for you to strip.”

Immediately it clicked, and your gaze widened, staring at the pile of abandoned socks in the middle of the circle. Apparently, even filthy rich teenagers had nothing better to do than playing dumb games at parties. Still, you were glad their attention had left you completely.

Truth or Strip was sort of a legendary game at Saint-Agnès de Roma, and, as far as you knew, it was the first time an outsider was witnessing the closed circle of cool kids playing it for real. Maybe your luck just turned, this was a great behavioural observation opportunity.

“I once woke up in a…” Katy paused for effect and Luis tilted his head, frowning in anticipation. “... Gentlemen’s Club in Miami!”

“Boooo!” Marissa exclaimed as soon as the confession left her mouth. “Who hasn’t?”

You laughed as everyone did, certain 99,9% of the world’s population had never even set foot in that sort of exclusive place.

“BUT,” Katy raised a finger to defend herself, “the night actually started in Los Angeles!”

Impressed clapping followed, and you smiled in your glass as their sick oversharing game moved on. Apparently, you were as invisible here as you were in school, which was a relief, even if you promised Jackson to make friends. Everybody got drunker by the minute and almost an hour later, they were still playing the game.

Jinyoung Park – of Park Films, by far the largest movie production company in Asia – lost his shirt in a very gentlemanly manner, refusing to give away the name of his first conquest. Mark Tuan lost his too, refusing to share the weirdest place where he ever had sex. Chao-Xing – daughter of a Chinese real estate mogul, rumoured to own more than a third of Vancouver – took off her tights to keep the phone number of Justin Bieber her dirty little secret. Hyunwoo Son – of the South Korean ambassador’s family – gave up his (rather outdated) Ralph Lauren’ Polo to avoid spilling the tea on the craziest thing he used his diplomatic immunity for.

Everyone kept losing pieces of clothing except you, and you were starting to feel the dangerous buzz of the alcohol through your veins. So far it was all fun and games, perhaps it really was a great thing you’d come to this party.

Looking at them making fools of themselves felt surreal and oddly satisfying.

Studying these people in their own habitat could be great for your plan of pursuing an Anthropology Major. It made you feel like your very own Jane Goodall in the Kenya jungle, learning how to interact with primates.

“Jackson!” Jaebum Im – rumoured to be the secret love child of a top actress and one of Hyundai’s already married chairmen – slapped a hand on the built shoulder of your close friend, ready to get him to confess some horrible deeds. “Who’s your first love?” There was a collective roll of eyes at the easy question, but it caught your attention. “Truth or Strip!”

“Y/n,” Jackson answered immediately, not embarrassed the least by it and you blushed when everyone looked at you. Your friend was way too honest at this game, he only lost a single sock so far. He bluntly answered almost everything.

“What!?” Marissa – both of them infamously dated for a year during your time at Sacred Heart’ Middle School – sneered, staring dagger at you. “When?”

“My family sent me at least a day per week at her place when we were young, so we got really close.”

“Your parents sent you to... a-an orphanage?” Her mouth dropped, clearly horrified by the idea. “Is that even legal?”

“Yes.” You replied before Jackson could get offended for you, grinning at her unemotionally. “We used to play together every weekend since we were 8 years old.”

“Well well…” Salome, who seemed to have forgotten your existence until then, smiled diabolically. Perhaps she really had forgotten, everyone was pretty drunk by then. After all, the party was already going on a full swing when you joined. “Looks like we haven’t played with you yet… What should we ask y/n?”

“It’s not how the game works.” Youngjae Choi – golden son of one of the teachers, Mrs. Choi, and main soloist of the Saint-Agnès choir – cut in, trying to stop her. Half of an official nerd himself, he was already too familiar with her dirty shenanigans. Lord knows what he was doing here tonight, maybe your common friend forcefully dragged him too. “It’s Jackson’s turn to ask!”

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes, miffed. “But it has to be y/n since she hasn’t played yet.”

“Y/n…” Jackson frowned, seemingly unable to think of a question invasive enough to satisfy the vultures, but still soft as to not make you regret you’d come. “Um…” Also, he already knew everything about you. Growing up in a Catholic orphanage wasn’t exactly the most propitious background for nurturing some dark and wild secret.

“Come on…” Another one sighed.

“Are you still a virgin?” Jaebum asked curious, earning himself a warning glare from the host.

“It’s too obvious she is,” Katy giggled, turning his more innocent question into something displeasing. As though being a virgin was nasty and shameful, you clenched your jaw. “Has she even ever been kissed to begin with?” From the corner of your eyes, you spotted Tuan straightening, probably ready to join in and make fun of you.

“Give me a second, I’ll think of something.” Jackson – your actual first kiss, by the way – ignored them, but you felt your face warm up.

Ultimately, the impending question didn’t matter, because you knew just the way to remain in control of their game, stay ahead and not give them the pleasure of embarrassing you. It’s the only advantage to being picked on often, you learn to understand the rules better than the ones making them. It’s like chess, if you’re always a move ahead, they can never truly get to you.

To survive tonight and fit it, you’d have to channel your inner Jane Goodall; think like a primate; become a primate.  

It was a good thing you were done with your second drink. Already, your mind was numb in the most perfect way, you felt courageous and unbeatable.  You were going to show them – those rich brats – show them you weren’t scared of anything. You could be fun. You could play and act dumb too. You could misbehave just like them.

Just as Jackson was opening his mouth to ask something, you started to pull at your dark t-shirt, riding it up and out of your suede skirt. The room automatically fell silent, everything stood still. The only thing you could hear was the sound of the stereo in the background, playing the dirty pop of the Hit 40. All the other girls only had stripped off their socks, tights or blazers so far, not wanting to take off anything more substantial, but you weren’t like others.

You’d rather expose yourself before they’d try to expose you.

After you threw your t-shirt on the pile of already stripped clothes, you sat there in silence as the boys cooed, highly conscious of your bra and mini skirt. Thank God you were tipsy enough to still act confident. Like another – primate you.

“What the heck?!” Jackson yelped, gaze crazy wide as he looked anywhere else but your exposed skin. “I haven’t asked my question!”

You shrugged, playing cool, “My answer is Strip.” Turning to Salome, you mimicked her earlier smirk. Right now, she looked like she had swallowed something nasty.

See? Virgins can be so much fun.

“Awesome...” Jaebum clicked his tongue, clearly entertained. “Looks like it’s your turn now, brainiac.” The boy’ Lacrosse captain handed you a third colourful drink, eyes dangerously lingering on the curve of your boobs.

By your standards, Im was the most handsome guy at the Academy, not that you’d ever tell anyone. He appeared out of nowhere at Saint-Agnès in 10th grade. According to the rumours, he earned himself this one-way trip by stealing his dad’s favourite sports car and crashing it into the Han River. His father was said to have sent him to Catholic boarding school only because his mother cried and begged for it not to be Military Academy. Jaebum was a ‘no comment’ type of guy, so nobody ever got to the bottom of his story. If it was true, you had to admit his mom horridly failed him. You were pretty sure Saint-Agnès’ Reverend Mother was scarier than any drill inspector could ever dream to be.

Accepting the drink, you blushed for everyone to see. It felt as though Jaebum’s eyes were fire on your neckline, as though it were his fingers and not simply his gaze that was on you. You didn’t feel exposed, you felt seen. Every single guy in the room – except Jackson – had his eyes glued to you and surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.

“Let’s stop now.” The host gloomily stared away. You knew him enough to be aware he thought he was responsible for letting his schoolmates corrupt you.

“Yes, let’s play another game.” Salome agreed all too eager, having recovered from your little stunt. You smiled widely as you took another big sip of the tropical punch, aware she was fuming.

“The Knot?” Marissa suggested.

“Strip Pong,” Luis replied, running his hand up and down Katy’s thigh.

You rolled your eyes as the ideas kept coming, all games you had no clue how to play and clearly involving losing more clothes and dignity. Mark Tuan snorted at your dramatic gesture, catching your attention.

He was also childhood best friends with Jackson, but you never hung out together after you entered High School. Jackson was the only one who kept publicly addressing you, whereas that jerk played the other kids’ scheme, the invisibility one. Mark offered you one of his legendary lopsided grins as you held his gaze. You quirked a brow in distaste for him to see, a part of you wanted that almighty guy to know he had no effect on you whatsoever. Not anymore anyway, you were way past that naive 11 years old phase where you thought he was kinda cute. Nowadays you weren’t one of his fangirls, dying for him to notice her.

Coming from alumni and rich – you-have-no-idea-how-rich – kind of family, Mark Tuan stood at the very top of Saint-Agnès eligible bachelor hierarchy, the type you bet student’ parents slyly mentioned at family suppers: “Are you friend with the Tuan kid? I hear he’s as beautiful as his mother. She was a Miss Universe in the late 80s.”: “Isn’t the oldest son of the Tuans in your class? He’s old money, they left Mainland China many generations back.” or perhaps even: “He’s worth 20 billion at the very least. Please, do shag him and get knocked up”.

You, however, had no parents shoving you his way. Mark Tuan had been the quiet and hard to get close with type even in Middle School, and of course, it took a Jackson Wang to break down his walls. But he wasn’t the shy kid following you two around anymore. Now Mark had found his own species and returned to the wild. Like all of them, he was all about Gucci tees, yachts, drugs, fun and whatever. You definitely hadn’t seen him at Sunday mass in a while.  

From what you heard, he had become as superficial as these other rich jerks, going through girls as models go through clothes. Curiously, Salome always seemed to find a way to pull him back somehow. Why even bother? These two started dating on and off between Middle and High School and never stopped. The same summer you and Jackson had a fling. Why did Tuan like the she-devil though? Even Jackson didn’t have any clue, nor could justify his friend taste for the dark side.

Filthy rich players like Tuan weren’t a ‘catch’, they were the poison of modern society. They thought they could get away with anything.

“Suck and Blow.” Salome decided on the game Authority herself, unaware her very shirtless boyfriend was still checking you out. And boy was that a sight, even you had to admit it. He might’ve grown up to be a piece of shit, but Mark had become one damn good looking turd.

Once everyone agreed, you all stood and – Thank God – got dressed. You picked up your own t-shirt from the pile to put it on, relieved. Sure, you were confident, but you didn’t want to chill with them half-naked all night either. Done, the party spread in a circle again and, sensing your confusion, Youngjae pulled you by the wrist to his right. He then leaned in to whisper in your ear, not as subtle as he intended to: “We just pass a card around with our mouths without dropping it. It’s about timing, the pair that drops it has to deal with a punishment.”

“Ew, that’s disgusting.” You grimaced and he shrugged, apparently already familiar with the game. You didn’t peg him for the type to come to these parties often, but perhaps you were wrong. Perhaps the choir sweetheart had a secret thing for booze and dirty games… How intriguing, you turned to consider him anew. “Are you good at this?”

“I...” Youngjae hesitated a second too long, doubt shading his features, “am really, really bad.” He confessed like a sin, making you laugh. He was cute in a ‘pure guy’ kind of way, you were familiar through Jackson and often shared a table to study quietly at the library. Youngjae was also in Saint-Agnès’ top 5 and didn’t come from a particularly wealthy family, thereby an ally. Jackson once told you that Youngjae attending the Academy was in his mother’s teaching contract. His financial background made him comfortable and relatable somehow. At least you had someone like him here with you tonight. Jackson was way too busy hosting to notice you didn’t know where to put yourself.

“What’s the punishment?”

“Well, obviously, there’s a risk you’ll… kiss, by accident.” He cleared his throat, accidentally adorable. They were far worse fates than sharing a kiss with him, you decided. “And if you drop the card, the usual pun-”

“Have you never played, y/n?” Tuan, who somehow had appeared to your own right chuckled, amused by how clueless you were. “Cute.” You gulped, staring in his almond eyes, he was about the same height as you now. In your Middle School friendship years, he’d been shorter by many centimetres, never managing to grow fast enough to catch up to you. “Don’t worry.” Mark plucked his lips your way and winked, gaze dropping in your neckline. “I’m good enough at this for us two.” If you were reminiscing of young innocent feelings, his douchebag attitude definitely brought you back down to the present.

Strong of your alcohol confidence, you feigned to look over your shoulder in confusion. “Are you talking to me?” You pressed your chest with both hands like honoured to be blessed by his recognition. “Can you really see me?” Tuan blinked, taken aback and Youngjae snorted to your left. He was always a great public, easygoing and always laughing at your stupid jokes.

“Of course, y/n. Your bra was kinda hard to miss earlier.”

Having recovered, Mark’s rude tongue darted through his parted lips to taunt you and your face warmed treacherously. It had been forever since you two last spoke or stood this close. The way Mark was looking at you now felt unsafe, predaceous. You almost took a step away instinctively, but that wouldn’t have been a very ‘primate y/n’ thing to do so you held back.

“Good girl gone bad... I’m all here for you.”

Instead, at that, you rolled your shoulders and exchanged a glance with Youngjae.

“Well, you must not know a lot of good girls, Mark… We’re the very best at being bad.”

Youngjae immediately coughed and the player’s brows shot up, a new glimmer in his eyes. What the fuck was primate y/n doing, flirting? Why would you ever say something like that? Jesus.

“Well, colour me intrigued.” Mark exhaled before taking a sip of his cup and you stared, trying not to hate yourself for saying shit like that aloud. “Then a good girl like you probably has a few bad tricks to teach me.”

You were about to reply with something – hopefully clever – for him to sod off, when Jackson announced the start of the game, standing on the other side of the circle. Your jaw dropped, realizing it meant you’d play between Youngjae and Mark. You’d sooner eat a live spider than kiss that jerk. Oblivious to your inner turmoil, Jackson winked at you, taking out a credit card from his wallet. (Lord knows where it had been!) Without wasting a second more, he put it on his mouth, sucked air and lowered to Salome to his right, passing her the card.

The game had started. Suck. Blow. Suck. Blow.

Pretty simple and self-explanatory. You tried to concentrate on watching the others play with ease to prepare yourself. If you mastered the technique, there was nothing to be afraid of. Still, you suspected it was a lot harder than it looked though and you peeked at Tuan, nervous. In a matter of seconds, it was your turn and Youngjae lowered himself above you, brows furrowed in concentration. You sucked the card successfully, disgusted at the sensation of wetness on your lips. Dreading the next exchange, you turned to the man to your right, not without a certain sense of responsibility. You were usually good at games and you could own this one too. Tuan’s face drew nearer, and you stilled, trying to make it easier for him. You passed the card without any difficulties. Thank God, you sighed, watching it make its way faster and faster around the circle.

You would get herpes because of this stupid party game. Ew.

You lacked time to dwell on that new disgusting realization before it was your turn again. Clearly, the unspoken rule was to accelerate to make things harder. No one had dropped the card yet. Youngjae chuckled gladly when he successfully passed it to you once more and you tried to ignore the dirty wetness from all the other players this time. This time, Mark wrapped his hand around your neck to stabilize himself when you turned to him. Other players had done it too and it made the exchange easier, so you tried not to think much of it. Like you did earlier, when you felt him suck, you blew to let the card go. Only this time, to your absolute horror…

The card fell.

You barely managed to retreat away from Mark’s plucked lips in a panic to avoid any skin contact. Drunkenly stumbling backwards, you hit Youngjae who held you up with strong hands. The small gathering collectively laughed at the fail and Mark winced, falsely apologetic.

“Gee!” He snapped his fingers like a 30s cartoon character who just made a blunder. You stared, bewildered as he bent to pick up the credit card, tossing it to Jackson under a thunder of woos. Mark lost on purpose. You were almost sure of it. Next, to the awfully serious host, Salome was livid, looking like she was about to murder you on the spot.

“Seven Minutes in Heaven!” Bambam – a 2nd generation heir from Thailand, newly transferred after being successively kicked out of his four previous boarding schools in Asia (and very proud of it) – announced your punishment.

Unfortunately, you knew how to play that game.

“W-What?!” You gasped in dismay, desperately turning to Youngjae for help as Mark shrugged at you, smirking.

Seven Minutes in Heaven?! More like: your own personal Hell.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Salome crossed her arms in front of her petite frame, head about to burst. “She obviously dropped it on purpose!” Your mouth opened in befuddlement. It was the stupidest accusation in the history of mankind. “Mark.” She warned, and the young man shrugged again, unbothered by her dirty glare.

“Rules are rules.” He said with a laugh.

“It’ll be the most boring seven minutes of your life, Mark!” She snapped, lacing venom in her words and the others self-conceited asstwats stifled their laughs.

“Excuse me?” Insulted, you narrowed your eyes at the brunette. Alcohol was apparently making you forget that these rich brats’ opinion of you couldn’t matter less. Boring? Why was she taking her anger out on you? You weren’t the one who failed the game and it’s not like you were trying to seduce her disgusting boyfriend.

“Please y/n, everyone knows you’re frigid.” Spiteful, Salome snickered, but no one found her funny this time. Jaebum even took an instinctive step between you two. Wait… Was she jealous, of you? The thought made you secretly ecstatic. Jeez, she should keep Mark Tuan on a leash if she cared that much. It’s not like he wasn’t running around giving it to anybody in the first place.

“Sally, don’t–” Even he tried to stop her, but she cut him off.

“I mean, isn’t she saving herself to take the veil or something?”

Your jaw clenched at that one last insult. You were aware of your prudish reputation, an overly Catholic childhood tends to stick to anyone, but you hated it. Salome regularly used that to publicly ridicule you. This time was different though, and she was either too drunk or stupid – or both – to realize that. She had just shown you her entire hand.

You smiled, she’d given you leverage, the upper hand, something invaluable you never had before. Now you knew her weakness.

“Jackson?” The summoned boy winced at your call, apparently dying a thousand deaths. It was too late now, you were worked up and he recognized that expression on your face. There was no point trying to stop you. “Where’s the closet?” You asked, as if there was some sort of unholy place specially dedicated to playing that game.

“W-What?” He couldn’t have looked more alarmed

“Tuan and I obviously need a heaven.” You pressed on, rolling your eyes. You should’ve stopped, but you were getting way too defiant.

“We do?” Mark whispered for only you to hear, slight panic now showing.

“Rules are rules.” Primate y/n replied to him sarcastically.

You wouldn’t have played Seven Minutes in Heaven with that asshole just to abide by the rules of this stupid party, but if it made Salome lose her mind... Then it was the only reason you needed to be willing. You’d do almost anything to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Youngjae pulled at your elbow, mouthing a very clear ‘don’t’ as a warning, probably thinking you had a death wish. There was no way she’d let you live when she got back to the dormitory after the Holidays. Too bad for her, the she-devil was already making your life a living Hell. You grinned at Tuan, trying to look convincing. You didn’t see him anymore, he wasn’t that former childhood friend nor the school’s hottest manwhore.

Now he was it, your own personal vendetta.

“A closet?” Jackson breathed out, mind completely blank. You bet if it was anyone else playing, he’d laugh and cheer, turning into his usual overdramatic bubbly self. Right now, he looked nothing but dejected.

“To show Tuan a not-so-boring time.” You enlightened, seriously exasperated. This time everyone else came alive to guide you two. Mark, who followed with heavy feet, clearly had a change of heart, but you didn’t care. He was the one who dropped the card. He didn’t have to do it for laughs, to bluff like that. What an ass.

‘We’re still young and they aren’t all that bad. You need to learn to have fun y/n!’

That’s what Jackson had said to convince you to come. I’m trying, you thought, I’m being; not boring. You bet now he was regretting ever inviting you.

You had to enter a guestroom to find an actual closet and it was empty and surely uncomfortable, like pretty much anything in the Wang’s gigantic mansion. Still, in a daze, you stepped it, followed closely by Mark. As soon as the door closed behind, you heard a chair being dragged to block it.

Now if either of you wanted to make a run for it, you couldn't. Great….

“Why’d you do that for?” You immediately ushered and hit his arm, freaking out at the dramatic shift of atmosphere. Before, you were sure he lost on purpose and he must have had intricate ulterior motives. There was no way one of the biggest playboys of the Academy did that just to earn himself seven minutes in the dark with your nerdy ass.

“Weren’t you begging for this to happen just now?” Mark drew nearer and you backed away until you couldn’t escape anymore. His arms found the wall on each side of your head. That proud asshole didn’t seem half as reluctant at the thought of you now that nobody could see him. This situation felt awfully intimate... Even though Salome was probably counting the seconds until she could open the doors.

“Besides, I haven’t done anything yet.” His whisper made you shiver as his breath fawned over your face.

You exhaled anxiously, staring back at him, oscillating. “Your girlfriend is going to kill me.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have drunk that much. Sure, you told Jackson you would try to fit in, but right now, with Mark, locked in this closet... It felt as though you had succeeded at becoming an entirely different person and you wondered if you’d find yourself back once the door reopened.

Jane Goodall did struggle after she left the primates to their jungle and returned to her own reality.

“Who?” He questioned innocently, “When I’ll date for real I won’t play around.” Mark’s right hand found your hip bone in the semi-darkness, thumb brushing your stomach through the fabric. You stilled, not knowing how to react to that. “Sally’s just a little intense,” he glanced down at your lips, “sorry she’s being hard on you.”

“That’s the understatement of the year.” The last world barely left your throat. From this close, this turd… He smelled kind of nice. Dammit.

“So… Are you really a good girl?” Mark hummed softly, leaning closer, voice deeper than the freaking Pacific ocean. Betraying goosebumps immediately spread on your skin. Right, you closed both eyes in defeat. That was why he made sure to lose the game. He knew it would turn out like this. “I bet it’s true...”

Mark's tongue darted out, catching the light and your eyes dropped on his lips. It was unfair. You weren’t prepared to face that kind of threat tonight. He was getting all predacious again and you were an easy prey. Sure, you hated the guy… When sober, collected, in control of yourself… Apparently, being pressed against a hot torso in the secrecy of a closet can change one’s perspective. You were almost trembling, blood boiling, body turned to stone; trapped.

“That you’re good at being bad.” Mark let out a weird small exhale, almost inaudible, tilting his head to the side.

Oh God, he was going to make this happen.

You had kissed boys before – OK fine, mostly Jackson and only when you were about twelve – but you had never made out in a dark closed space with anyone and surely that was bound to be sinful. Just being this close with Mark was surreal, electrifying, completely wrong. Did all guys smell like that? Jesus.

You were kind of expecting the Reverend Mother to appear and throw the door open, yelling at you and Mark to get on your knees and recite Hail Mary any seconds now.

His thumb pressed that spot on your hip and you inhaled sharply in apprehension, almost a purr. How humiliating, you’d never even made a sound like that. That jerk’s touch was more inhibiting than alcohol. Primate y/n was a traitor. Hopefully, you’d remember not to ever trust her again tomorrow morning, when you’d sobered up. Mark must have heard it because he smiled, face glowing, illuminated by the small rays of light coming through the door crack. He always had a dangerous animalistic smile, one exposing canines and baring far too many teeth, often it made him look spooky.  

“Relax.” He commanded, hand climbing slowly on your side as his erratic breathing neared your cheek. “I’m not gonna jump you. You were such a tease earlier. Is this really your first time?”

Mark wasn’t that much of a talker in Middle School, this new him was the worst. He chuckled silently, unaware of your thoughts and a resolve birthed in your chest at his amusement. You weren’t about to let that guy boast later to the whole school about how inexperienced you were. Especially not to his bitchy non-girlfriend. Strong of determination and anticipation, you put your own hands around his hips, unsure where else they should go. You weren’t going to freak out. You weren’t going to be boring. You might as well go all out if primate you were about to do this to herself.

“No,” you lied, almost convincing your drunk self. “it’s not.”

“I’m gonna kiss you...” Mark announced with his alpha tone, not buying the lie. Although his statement should have sounded awkward, it made you shiver at the suspense. Through the tip of your fingers on his shirt, you felt his heart thump loudly in his chest. Was he nervous? Surely not, you bet he’d kissed a thousand girls in dark closets.

“Well…” You faked confidence again, acutely conscious of how hot he was now– in every possible way… Even if he was a disgusting manwhore. “Is it coming today or...”

Mark was still baring his toothy grin when your noses brushed. You’re the one who met his lips in the middle, surprisingly tilting your head to help.

He tasted of Caribbean punch, a mix between warm nights, fresh fruits and bonfire. It was addictive, not half-bad. Instantly, Mark’s kiss became insistent, his mouth opened against yours, adding pressure and you obeyed, too dazed to do anything or have second thoughts.

He was trapping you against the wall roughly, ravaging you. He had absolutely no mercy and you were pushing back with all your might to survive, hips, lips and hands all over. This wasn’t about the reality outside at all, any thought of the others completely vanished the second Mark slid his hand under your shirt. You let him do it, skin awaken by the touch, discovering a thousand new nerves on your body.

Yes, you had become another y/n.

That was the only explanation. A y/n that makes out in dark rooms with cool kids and grinds into them shamelessly, but just for seven minutes.

Seven extremely messy minutes.

Mark groaned in your mouth, skilled fingers caressing your stomach softly and you curved against him, craving more, possessed. Your skin was buzzing, like screaming, begging to feel him more. His left hand hiked up your body in a hurry, climbing under your t-shirt in your back and you prayed the door wouldn’t shed light on this scene. It would be terribly embarrassing; you were letting him put both of his hands up your shirt. Mark pressed his leg between yours that opened automatically, and your fingers entangled themselves in his hair, almost for support. He never broke the kiss. He too, probably knew better than to waste any second of whatever shared craziness this moment was.

“So good,” Mark grunted, words shaking to escape his throat and you opened your eyes in amazement, “but so bad.”

Shared hysteria. That was what this was.

You both weren’t done though. He adventured his left hand on the fabric of your bra and you froze briefly. Mark must have felt your hesitation because he kept it there. He didn’t push it further nor did he take it away and it felt weird. Like your heart was about to burst through your left breast for him to hold. Sometimes you dreamed of being touched like that, but it was even better than what you imagined, overpowering.  

Even if it was by Mark Tuan, or perhaps even more frighteningly; because it was him. This was all Primate y/n’s doing, anyway, not yours.

The Reverend Mother would’ve had a heart attack if she knew where you were and with whom. Your head was spinning, imagination taking this even further. This deserved at least a thousand Hail Marys, a plethora of Rosaries.

“Fuck,” He whispered in your mouth, the sound like thunder. “Who knew.”

Not you.

You had no idea you were so easy, such a whore. He resumed kissing you as though this was perfectly normal, but perhaps he just couldn’t stop either. You could feel him through his pants, the bad boy wasn’t so unphased by you. This was so new, everything was exhilarating. Mark rocked between your legs, causing your eyes to roll back in your head. You were enjoying every second of this, you were right; Seven Minutes in Heaven with Mark Tuan was your own personal Hell. Whatever this was would haunt you later on for sure. The smell of his skin, the taste of his tongue, the touch of his hand. But you were shameless, you took it all. You didn’t have any second to waste before reality hit. Mark pushed against you again and you pressed closer involuntarily, wondering if he was doing it on purpose.

The direct friction on your tights and panties was going to make you lose your damn mind. You slid one of your own hands under his shirt to feel the abs you spotted earlier during the Strip or Truth game. You ran your nails on his body, and he moaned.

Mark Tuan, actually moaned while making out with you.

You stilled for a heartbeat, unsure if this was supposed to be good or not until he bit your lips, rolling it between his teeth. And you came alive again, because... Jesus. That was unexpected. And Lord, that felt like Heaven. Your hands slid to his back to pull him closer and Mark obliged, fingers caressing the curve of your boobs endlessly, every bit of skin not covered by your bra. In the moment, you wanted to ask him to touch you under the fabric, wanted to know if you would break, but your mouth was too busy being full of him.

As though he heard your thoughts, or unable to refrain from it anymore, Mark’s left hand finally slipped under your bra to touch your breast. He brushed your nipple, causing you to make another embarrassing inhuman sound, something low that he swallowed and kept to himself. Thankfully, Mark only became more eager after that. He used his other hand to press you harder on him through his pants, rolling his hips forward. Your whole body was ablaze, alive in a way it had never been before, and surprisingly Mark seemed as equally taken. His kisses were messy, his breathing on your face heavy as if he was running a marathon. According to your heart rate, you certainly were too.

Mark mumbled unintelligibly, something about his will failing and doing this sooner, as he slipped his free hand to where your thighs met. Before you could process what he said, he touched that forbidden place through your tights and panties, even just like that it felt overwhelming and dangerous. Instantly, you fidgeted and dug your nails in his skin. He hissed and stilled too, but you pulled at him, undecided on what you wanted to do next. Reality was still waiting outside that door.

“Mark…” He seemed to recognized the call for whatever it truly was, and his fingers started to move cautiously on the fabric.

“Shhh, don’t want them to hear, do we?” Mark’s head dropped in the crook of your neck to suck on your skin. Your whole body was humming at his touch, like wanting to be heard, to scream for the world to know.

Right. Reality. You covered your mouth with your hand, flustered. If you were still logical, sober and calm, you’d push him away, ask him to stop, but you didn’t want that. You wanted Mark to keep going, keep that up for an eternity, nothing else mattered. “Mark, this is s-so…”

Summoned, he grunted on your neck pleased you kept calling his name. “Good,” he asked, lips now brushing yours “being bad?”

Reprobate. Wrong. Lewd. Vile. Immoral. His fingers were still rubbing you, and you sighed, clinging to him, unable to say anything else. Perfect. Mind-blowing. Addictive. Perfectly right.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Hot.

“Me?” Hot. “Have you lost your mind?” You giggled and he joined, complicit.

“Yeah,” Mark’ hands abandoned their dirty deeds to cup your face, pulling you in for a deep kiss, “long ago.”

“When?” Seeing your frown, he grinned way too largely again. He was just about to answer when reality interrupted.  

“ONE MINUTE!” Someone loud – very Bambam-esque – hit the door and you both jerked away, startled.

How many bases did you two run anyway? Suddenly, you wished you knew baseball enough to get the sexy metaphors. Was that only the first base? This felt like way more.

“Fuck,” Mark swore again, exhaling loudly. “Y/n, that was… so hot.” That word again. It was the first time someone used it to describe something about you. Then again, tonight felt like a night full of ‘firsts’. Mark reached for your skirt that had riled up your hips and pulled it downwards, hiding how far your game had gone. The fact that it was his first move gave away how accustomed he was to that kind of heated make-out sessions and you shook your head from side to side, remembering who you were with and why. Right. He was the player of Saint-Agnès de Roma, a manwhore… Surely that was why.

“Did you drop the card on purpose?” You asked hurriedly while he was making sure your t-shirt was back to its original place.

He blinked, staring at you for a long second like you were a dimwit. “Yes.”

“Why?” You were determined to leave this place with a clear answer.

“Well, y/n,” Mark murmured, pressing his lips on yours and running his tongue at the edge of them one last time, “I don’t think I could make myself any more obvious.”

“W-What?”

“TIME’S UP!” Someone yelled – yep, it was Bambam – letting the too cruel light shine on the scene inside the closet.

Thankfully, Mark was standing at a safe distance when the door opened. Still, he must have looked guilty somehow, because Jaebum applauded, impressed.

“Jesus Christ,” Jackson swore – a very rare occurrence – when he saw your ruffled hair and swollen lips.

Another day, you’d feel like hiding away, but, probably because of the rush of oxytocin and all that Caribbean Punch, tonight, primate you just shrugged it off. Your mind was caught up elsewhere, up in the clouds. No wonder that jerk was so popular with girls.

After those Seven Minutes in Heaven, you had learned three new things:

One, Mark Tuan could Jedi trick you into doing absolutely anything.

Two, you could make him lose his mind...

And three…

You sneaked a look his way while getting pulled by Jackson out of the (blessed) closet. Mark was strangely silent, letting his friends tease him without much reaction. He met your gaze and you misstepped, almost falling on the Wang’s luxurious carpet. Jackson caught you in extremis and your clumsiness made Mark snort, struggling to conceal his inhuman grin. There he was, making fun of you again.

And three... Tonight was obviously going to become a regular thing between you two.

And you weren’t the one making the rules.

|| M.List || GOT7 ||

[thewincestgospel]

Someone sent me this...

Hi, do you have any recommendations for weecest fics? Long, plotty ones? Your recs are some of the best. Thank you for your service. ♡

And I was like

But then life kept happening and I had to put it to the side and I was like....

But then I finally got some time and I started composing my list but then I accidentally posted it before I was done then it wouldn't let me save it to queue so I could finish it so I had to copy it, delete it and start again. Then it wouldn’t save on my cell or tablet after two days of trying I said fuck it and just waited until I got back home (I travel for work) to do it off my laptop.

So so sorry to the Anon who sent me this request.

I hope the long list makes up for my tardiness.

Weecest Recs

All the Way by  BenLMoore   A family court orders that Sam and Dean be separated because they're too close. These people don't realize, there's no keeping the Winchesters boys apart.              

And I Have Asked to Be Where No Storms Come by candle_beck Family is the first to break your heart.

The Ballad of the Invisible Boy  by dollylux   This is a story of adolescence. This is a love letter for the slow burn, for Led Zeppelin, for the 90s. This is the first of two sets of stories about how Sam and Dean didn’t fall in love. They never had to. It was always there, this desperation between them, like a real, breathing thing. When they came together, it was inevitable. As sure as continents colliding, as the phases of the moon and the life and death of stars. This isn’t a love story, but it’s a story of love.              

Birthday  by   helena_s_renn, Helenas_bitch, orphan_account     Sam turns fifteen two weeks after Dean ended their relationship. In order to celebrate Sam's birthday, Dean decides to get him laid – with a girl.        

Crown and Anchor Me (or let me sail away) by Sena Sam Winchester is fifteen years old, at yet another new high school in yet another state, he doesn’t get along with his distant, distracted father, he’s figuring out that he likes guys just as much as he likes girls, his clothes never fit and his limbs ache at the joint ever since his growth spurt started, he has to study for the PSAT and, oh yeah, he’s a little bit in love with his brother, Dean, who’s taken a break from hunting monsters to work at a local garage for minimum wage.

Crush by BewareTheIdes15 Dean looks at him different now, Sam just can't figure out what the difference is.

Everlong by Lux Aeterna  Sam and Dean’s feelings come to a head a year before Sam leaves for college. They struggle with the implications and complications of their relationship, but no matter where they go or what they do, it’s impossible to forget.

The Good Days  by  Danceswithfiends 'His stomach jumps at these small glimpses of Dean, and he tries to push it down, but thoughts of Dean bending him over in the back seat of the car flood his brain anyway. Sam swallows heavily and looks away, trying to focus intently on the road. If this doesn’t stop soon, Sam is going to go absolutely nuts.'The sexcapades of Sam and Dean's relationship in its early days and the days that follow.    

Hard-Won Inches by BewareTheIdes Dean’s developed this thing lately where he likes to touch Sam’s mouth while he has the amulet in there, fingers tracing so gently it almost tickles, around the little pouty spot where the cord disappears between Sam’s lips. It’s kind of weird, but probably not weirder than the fact that Sam’s ten and still sucks on his brother’s necklace to go to sleep at night.

A History of Love  by lyryk (s_k) When Sam is sixteen, he’s gotten pretty good at hiding what he’s been feeling for his brother for the last couple of years. But the most dangerous thing is not Dean finding out how Sam feels—it’s what happens when their father finds out.

The Hottest Days  by WevyrDove John is away on a hunting trip when Sam experiences his first heat cycle. Dean panics and makes Sam lock himself up in his room in a desperate attempt to keep temptation at bay.

Incubus by Ithiel_Dragon, virtualpersonal   Sam and Dean are left alone in Georgia in the middle of the summer while John is away on a hunt, and unfortunately the brothers haven't been getting along lately.  Sam's moodiness, and Dean's temper (not to mention his crush on his own brother) are not helping matters.  Things get even more complicated when Dean is attacked by an Incubus.              

A Life Made of Nights by BewareTheIdes Dean’s always loved Sammy more than anything, but what happens when brotherly love turns into something more? (A timeline of Sam and Dean’s relationship, starting from the time Sam’s a baby)

Lonely Harmonies  by Linden Dean maybe gets why John insists on separate beds, these days. 

More Than A Taste By BewareTheIdes After school, Dean finds out what Sam had to say about walking in on him

Never Again by made.of.bees   Dean walks in on Sam having some alone time and decides there are better things to do than leave. Sam freaks out but makes the best of the situation. After all, it's just one time, right? As long as it doesn't become a habit or anything...

Of Hot Showers and Female Intuitions by  cyndrarae  Sam‘s journey through teenage angst and sexual experimentation leads him to an irrefutable truth… he loves his big brother more than he should.

One Love, One Bond  by  RudexAndxNotxGinger   Sam and Dean have a special relationship. And it all started when Sam hit puberty.     

The Only Thing By BewareTheIdes  Ok, look, there’s not a delicate way to say it; Sammy sucks Dean’s nipples.  

P A R A D I S E (Born to Die!Verse) This story follows the lives of two young brothers as they try to make it in a dark world. After an overdose threatens to tear them apart forever, Sam and Dean vow to never leave each other's side again and hit the open roads of the American West to live fast and free together. They fight and fuck like every day could be their last because one day it just might be.

Plausible Deniability by BewareTheIdes Dean get a little freaked out about his relationship with Sam, and a whole lot freaked out when calling it off gets Sam interested in some other guy.

Sam’s First Love by  JAYJEN11   Dean was Sam’s superhero, his protector, he taught him everything. It only made sense Sam loved him but then he thinks he fell in love with him and Dean had taught him everything else so why not this too? This is not a love story. This is real life and sometimes real life sux.

Sam Liking Boys (And Dean)  by  stuck_as_sarah Titles pretty self-explanatory, just weecest thats pretty much a pwp. 

Sammy's Rule by Sammy_Rae22   John Winchester leaves his 12 and 16 year old sons for a hunt. While he is away Sam gets closer and closer to his brother, till he has to form a rule to control himself. That rule is to NEVER look at his brother like he is some sex lord. But what happens when things start to get a little out of control?                            

Sequelae  by candlejill After annihilating the boundaries between them, Sam and Dean both struggle to accept the change in their relationship. With Dean battling his guilt and Sam counting down the days until he’s able to put hunting in his past, they attempt to salvage what is left of their brotherly bond.

Note: Sequel to Situational Machismo

Situational Machismo by  candlejill  While on a hunt, Sam and John are hit with a mysterious spell causing them to switch bodies. Sam is devastated at the repercussions that could affect his future. The Winchesters are left with the monumental task of figuring out how to change back. Dean, previously believed to be unaffected, begins to have new troubling thoughts towards his brother causing him to think that maybe he did not escape the spell untouched after all.

Note: There is no sexual relationship between Sam and Dean while Sam is in John's body.

So It Goes by  jenajasper Dean would always remember the first time               

Teen Antichrist Master List by smallcaps Crack!AU teen antichrist Sammy has horns and a tail…and a hammer!  Dean keeps his hands to himself.  Barely.

A Thousand Miles to Get There  by  alakewood   Dean's not quite sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line he and Sam started messing around – it started with chaste kisses and graduated to more physical expressions of their desire. And, at some point, he fell in love with his little brother. Now, while on a cross-country roadtrip with his family, in the deceptive privacy of their RV, Dean has to prove to Sam that going away to college isn't going to change how he feels.              

The Time Traveler’s Brother by AmyPond45 Dean’s life is turned upside down the night his mother dies. But that’s also the night a mysterious grown-up version of Dean’s brother first appears in his life. While Dean grows up, “Old Sam” is often there, especially when Dean’s father isn’t. As Dean learns what the future holds, he begins to question everything his father has taught him about who he is and what he is supposed to become. Can Dean find a way to save his little brother from his own future?

To The Edge and Over   by   paperstorm, slf630   Here’s the thing. Dean’s mostly perfect in Sam’s eyes. He’s beautiful inside and out – cocky, charming, brave, fiercely loyal, flawed and stubborn and annoying and amazing – and Sam’s so stupidly in love with him it isn’t even close to funny. And there’s no way in hell Dean can ever know.     

Two-Headed Boy  by dollylux Sam's life from sixteen to twenty-two years old. This is a story of the last days of innocence during a sweltering Southern summer when Sam is so in love with his brother, he can barely stand his touch. It's the pain between them through lies, through jealousy, through seeing each other with someone else. Theirs is a story of leaving and Stanford, of Dean feeling lost and Sam nearly losing himself without his brother. It's fire and reunion and a love never lost - ever-present and no longer deniable.

Under the Blanket by Colette_Capricious   Sam is relentless when he wants something. Dean is helpless in the face of Sam’s desires and this thing that is building between them. It can’t happen, it won’t happen. It’s wrong. But why isn’t John doing anything to stop it? Could there actually be something on this earth than John Winchester is afraid to face?  

Verses Like Yours and Mine by rivers_bend   Sam/Dean are regular brothers – no demon, no hunting, Mary’s alive – who fall in love with each other.  

[amortm]

      *  𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒  𝐔𝐏  ,  pretty  kitties  !   i'm  terribly  sorry  abt  my  absence  on  the  dash  alongside  you  angels  ,  &  trust  that  i’m  fully  embarrassed  of  my  slow  ass  ,  but  i  finally  typed  this  baby  out  ,  &  i  can’t  wait  for  y’all  to  meet  my  love  ,  𝒋𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔  !

*  ╰   it’s  an  absolute  dishonour  to  meet  you ,   julianna  /  jules  .  at   twenty - one  ,  you’ve  disgraced  the   peralta   family  name  &  failed  to  carry  on  their  legacy  as  an  elite  .  as  a  result  ,  they’ve  requested  that  we  at  the  academy  do  our  best  to  rid  you  of  your  venality  ,  & seeing  as  though  they’re  worth  86m  ,  we  dutifully  obliged  .  while  your   pleonastic  &  inexorable  attributes  have  always  promised  failure  ,  it’s  your  spar  with   pride  &  ghosting  your  breakout  acting  role  after  you  found  out  your  daddy  secured  it  for  you   that  got  you  committed  .  before  we  take  possession  of  you  ,  it’s  imperative  that  we  know  that  you  are  a   cisfem  who  prefers   she  &  her  pronouns  ,  &  you  resemble   diana  silvers  .  your  birthday  is  on   april  26th  ,  making  you  a  recalcitrant  taurus  ,  &  you  were  transported  to  us  all  the  way  from   vail  ,  co  .  at  the  present  time  ,  you  work  off  campus  at   seaside  florist  .  go  ahead  &  purchase  that  extra  large  suitcase  ,  disgrace  .  you’re  going  to  need  it . 

your  name  /  age  /  pronouns  /  timezone  /  etc  .

hiya  loves  !   i  go  by  blue  &  she  /  her  pronouns  ,   i’m  9teen  ,   &  i’m  a  pst  baby  !   i’m  one  of  the  six  lovely  admins  @  #unholy  ,   &  they’re  all  superstars  ,   so  imagine  my  daily  awe  !   anyway  ,   i’m  beyond  excited  to  finally  get  the  ball  rolling  ,   &  share  the  dash  with  you  babes  !

 muse  inspo  .

noora  sætre  ,   the  goldfinch  ,   ella  of  frell  ,   neil  perry  ,   charlie  dalton  ,   claire  saffitz  ,   monica  geller  ,   carla  lalli  music  ,   mia  thermopolis  ,   adam  parrish  ,   blue  sargent  ,   anna  ou  !

 character  details  :

    💐 :   sweetly  judgmental  ,  adoringly  vindictive   /   vindictively  adoring  ,   witty  ‘n  gritty  ,   bitingly  tender  ,   expressively  stubborn  ,   softly  feral  !

    😈 :   hershey’s  chocolate  ,   brooklyn  pizza  ,   baguettes  ,   collector  edition  copies  of  wuthering  heights  ,   selfies  ,   her  mom  ,   richard  siken  anthologies  ,   twilight  (  #teamedward  )  ,   crowded  movie  theaters  ,   english  gardens  ,   the  air  in  new  york  ,   the  air  in  vail  ,   snowboarding  ,   her  hair  ,   hot  chocolate  (  no  whipped  cream  ,   half  a  bag  of  mini  marshmallows  dumped  atop  )  ,   andrew  garfield  ,   her  discover  weekly  playlist  ,   german  shepherds  ,   harry  potter  ,   lord  of  the  rings  ,   comedies  ,   horror  movies ,   nude  lipstick  ,   chocolate  chip  toffee  cookies  with  sea  salt  drizzled  on  top  ,   mamma  mia  franchise  ,   dissertations  ,   driving  ,   any  typa  jacket  /  coat  ,   being  the  big  spoon  ,   her  father  ,   coca  cola  ,   lilies  ,   disney  t - shirts  ,   her  father’s  films  ,   take  out  ,   farms  ,   italy  (  every  single  crevice  of  it  )  ,   the  plaza  hotel  ,   mint  chip  ice  cream  ,   hats  ,   trains ,   monthly  horoscopes  ,  ancient  history  ,   greenwich  village  ,   maggie  rogers  ,   mating  ritual  ,   vampire  weekend  ,   mitski  ,   the  wombats  ,   magic  bronson  ,   jade  bird  ,   hockey  ,   pretending  to  be  a  fairy / witch  /  mermaid  as  a  child  ,   naruto  ,   avatar  the  last  airbender  ,   stepping  over  state  /  country  lines  ,   hot  water  with  honey  ,   amazon  prime  !

    👿 :   the  marvel  franchise  except  for  the  captain  america  &  thor  trilogies  ,   coffee  &  tea  ,   shorts  ,   sweet  potatoes  ,   layovers  of  any  length  ,   socks  ,   soy  milk  ,   her  arms  ,   chihuahuas  ,   a  song  of  fire  &  ice  novels  ,   super  fudgy  /  rich  cake  &  brownies  ,   cooking  for  herself  ,   being  told  what  to  do  ,   being  wrong  &  having  everyone  know  it  ,   people  who  are  rude  to  employees  ,   bad  tipping  ,   margaret  atwood  ,   her  first  grade  teacher  ,   plastic  coke  bottles  ,   too  much  pepper  in  a  dish  !

 upbringing  &  family  life  ,  life  before  the  academy  ,  etc  .

     julianna  rachel  peralta  was  born  to  a  beauty  -  charmed  family  of  three  ,   with  a  new  yorker  mother  &  italian  father  birthing  the  healthiest  &  happiest  girl  parents  can  dream  for  .    her  mother  ,  susanna  ‘ susie ’  peters  ,   was  coined  the  model  that  pioneered  90′s  fashion  ,  a  la  kate  moss  ,   &  met  julianna’s  father  ,   elio  peralta   (  think  the  francis  ford  coppola  of  this  verse  )  ,   whilst  she  was  briefly  on  set  for  jack  to  see  friend  fran  drescher  .    their  love  stemmed  from  there  ,   after  she  made  a  mocking  comment  &  he  overhead  &  mocked  her  in  return  for  it  ,   &  the  whirlwind  romance  that  captivated  their  world  for  the  next  few  years  led  to  miss  jules  being  born  .    neither  of  her  parents  desired  marriage  from  each  other  ,   rather  believing  that  their  love  knew  no  bounds  ,   even  those  of  matrimony  ,   but  never  did  it  dim  the  bond  held  between  the  small  family  of  three  .    once  jules  was  in  their  arms  ,   they  relocated  from  new  york  to  colorado  ,   into  the  quaint  town  of  vail  ,   surrounded  by  pristine  mountains  &  crystalline  air  ,   where  susie  &  elio  found  a  pocket  of  indisputable  peace  after  a  small  winter  trip  in  their  first  year  of  romance  .

        it  was  there  that  jules  grew  up  ,   &  there  that  the  love  of  her  parents  faltered  .    her  mother  missed  the  world  of  fashion  ,   the  rhythms  &  rhymes  of  the  space  she  knew  as  well  as  in  maintaining  the  fame  that  spotlighted  her  so  ,   while  elio’s  passions  for  turning  out  film  after  film  dwindled  .    &  when  the  offer  from  vogue  came  in  ,   waxing  poetic  about  a  fresh  position  as  a  fashion  editor  ,   both  she  &  elio  knew  that  their  paths  would  veer  .    their  love  was  no  less  ,   but  integral  factors  of  their  relationship  were  now  fractured  ,   &  they  each  desired  after  different  things  .    this  was  all  said  to  julianna  ,   in  soft  tones  &  with  assuring  words  .    yet  ,   never  was  it  promised  that  everything  would  be  the  same  as  it  was  ,   for  the  truth  was  in  something  unsaid  .    susie  moved  to  new  york  ,   while  elio  &  jules  stayed  in  that  mansion  in  the  mountains  ,   &  all  was  as  fair  &  well  as  it  could  be  ,   with  julianna  staying  with  her  mom  during  the  fall  season  &  discovering  every  little  piece  of  italy  in  the  summers  .    christmases  &  hanukkahs  were  always  shared  in  vail  ,   &  susie  tagged  along  european  dives  when  her  schedule  allowed  for  it  .    it  was  as  if  their  relationship  &  subsequent  uncoupling  were  trivial  details  no  one  could  bother  to  account  for  ,  until  ,   in  the  worst  spot  she’s  ever  seen  her  mother  ,   it  came  out  that  elio  peralta  found  a  new  woman  to  share  a  life  with  ,   &  that  their  new  life  together  would  be  housed  in  the  same  home  that  susie  &  elio  specially  chose  &  ,   in  emotional  terms  ,  truly  built  themselves  &  carved  their  family  in  its  foundations  .    it  was  a  betrayal  of  the  deepest  caliber  ,   &  from  there  the  small  peace  that  still  was  at  the  core  of  their  little  family  was  forever  severed  ,   &  it  became  obvious  to  jules  that  those  few  years  were  lucky  .

     she  was  thirteen  when  famed  actress  lily  taylor  (  aka  jennifer  connely  lmao  )  moved  into  her  family  home  ,   bringing  her  adopted  eleven - year - old  twins  with  her  .    in  a  sense  of  loyalty  to  her  mother  &  her  own  hurt  over  the  despair  that  her  father  caused  their  original  trio  ,   jules  was  heartily  &  positively  prepared  to  hate  the  new  additions  to  her  family  with  a  vindictive  fidelity  .    her  plan  was  promptly  overturned  ,   however  ,   when  she  spent  day  upon  day  with  her  new  fam  &  steadily  allowed  them  into  her  heart  .    this  ,   of  course  ,   was  paired  with  doubtless  guilt  ,   spurred  on  by  her  own  mind  whenever  she  flew  to  nyc  to  see  her  mother  ,   but  soon  enough  this  was  caught  by  each  of  her  parents  ,   &  susie  was  insistent  in  her  assurance  that  whatever  frigidness  she  still  held  for  elio  &  his  new  beau   (  which  julianna  didn’t  bother  to  correct  with  wife  )   ,   it  in  no  way  extends  nor  should  be  mimicked  by  her  .    elio  ,   in  turn  ,   was  quick  to  promise  to  jules  that  his  love  for  her  mother  flamed  in  his  heart  to  this  day  ,   but  each  of  them  are  happier  living  their  lives  in  the  lifestyles  they’ve  chosen  ,   with  the  people  they’ve  chosen  .    

      there  really  wasn’t  anything  to  do  but  swallow  their  words  ,   &  live  by  the  sentiments  they  expressed  .   jules  was  both  a  mama’s  &  daddy’s  girl  in  one  ,   so  to  take  their  words  as  fact  was  an  ignorance  she  allowed  herself  ,   even  when  the  hurt  look  on  her  mother’s  faced  inevitably  shone  through  in  hidden  moments  .

     but  when  jules  turned  seventeen  ,   susie  fell  in  love  with  a  musician  /  designer  named  tommy  lever  she  met  while  interviewing  his  collection  for  vogue  ,  &  the  two  fell  deep  ,  far  enough  to  sway  susie  into  moving  to  brazil  during  the  spring  season  ,  away  from  her  beloved  manhattan  loft  ,  to  be  with  him  in  his  home  (  the  link  is  crucial  to  his  characterization  lmao  ,  as  lenny  kravitz  is  essentially  tommy  lever  )  .   when  she  can  ,  jules  visits  as  often  as  she’s  allowed  (  always  )  &  has  gained  a  room  herself  .

      after  that  ,   however  ,   the  cycle  between  her  various  homes  continued  ,   well  into  her  slipping  teendom  ,   &  when  the  prospect  of  college  crunched  down  on  her  ,   the choice  seemed  inevitable  .   nyu  gained  a  classics  &  theater  major  for  its  class  of  2019  (  she  skipped  the  third  grade  ,  a  fact  she  didn’t  stop  bragging  about  at  that  age  )  ,   but  in  her  senior  year  of  university  ,   the  walls  came  crashing  down  .

 what  sin  are  they  categorized  under  ?  why ?

jules  belongs  to  the  sin  of  #pride  through  &  through  .   after  all  ,   if  there  was  one  damning  trait  to  send  her  straight  into  the  pits  of  burning  infernos  ,  her  prideful  sense  of  self  would  be  it  .   that’s  not  to  say  she’s  arrogant  (  nor  am  i  saying  she  isn’t  )  ,  but  it’s  more  that  she  can’t  take  being  undermined  or  allow  the  supposed  undermining  to  go  unpunished  .   she  has  a  great  deal  of  #pride  in  her  own  self  worth  &  capabilities  ,  though  she’s  usually  loathe  to  make  it  known  in  plain  terms  ,  &  if  she  feels  attacked  in  that  manner  ,  she’ll  completely  close  up  .   this  often  ,  as  you’ll  surely  be  able  to  tell  ,   beckons  problematic  shit  .

 what  got  them  sent  to  the  academy  ?

      during  jules’  senior  year  at  nyu  ,  she  was  contacted  by  her  agent  (  shared  with  her  father  )  &  offered  an  audition  for  a  leading  role  in  a  major  hollywood  studio  film  .   throughout  the  years  ,  she  dabbled  in  theater  &  attracted  a  starring  role  or  two  along  the  way  ,  especially  in  school  productions  ,   but  the  plan  for  success  was  always  envisioned  after  college  .   when  she  got  the  call  ,  however  ,  she  handled  it  with  a  happy - go - lucky  fuck  it  sort  of  approach  ,  &  a  week  later  ,  when  she  received  the  good - bearing  call  ,  there  was  no  backing  out  ,  or  so  she  thought  .   tentatively  dropping  out  of  the  semester  in  which  she  would  graduate  ,  jules  modeled  the  next  few  months  of  her  life  around  the  film  ,  happily  doing  so  .   

      yet  ,  the  first  week  into  rehearsals  brought  down  a  cloud  so  dark  she  thought  she’d  choke  under  it  .   she  overheard  a  few  producers  on  their  lunch  break  ,  talking  about  this - & - that - esque  bullshit  ,  but  just  as  she  was  passing  ,  one  of  them  made  a  comment  about  the  peralta  girl  ,  &  how  hollywood  legacies  are  the  roaches  of  the  industry  .   how  directors  from  the  middle  ages  should  just  stick  to  ruining  things  behind  the  camera  ,  not  forcing  a  disaster  in  front  of  it  .   

      that  day  ,  jules  walked  out  of  set  &  never  took  a  step  back  in  .   effectively  ruining  her  future  career  in  the  process  ,  she  ghosted  all  contact  from  the  production  &  even  went  as  far  to  jet  off  to  brazil  to  regenerate  with  her  mom  as  an  escape  .   she  couldn’t  even  pick  up  where  she  left  off  during  the  semester  ,  &  simply  had  to  sit  back  &  witness  her  classmates  of  four  years  graduate  without  her  .   her  parents  were  furious  ,  but  the  only  thing  she  gave  in  return  was  a  steely  silence  ,  refusing  even  turn  a  glare  to  her  father  .   now  ,  she’s  been  shoved  into  the  hands  of  the  academy  ,  biding  the  days  until  she  could  return  to  nyu  in  the  fall  .  

what  do  you  think  they’ll  struggle  with  the  most  at  the  academy ?

tbh  ,  the  biggest  issue  for  jules  is  the  resentment  curling  at  her  core  .   at  her  father  ,  the  film  ,  the  academy  ,  herself  .   right  now  she’s  just  in  a  foul  mood  &  sick  at  being  forced  into  glitterati  rehab  ,  but  her  #pride  won’t  allow  her  to  fail  ,  even  if  she  wishes  to  do  it  just  to  spite  everyone  .   she  is  a  people  person  ,  however  ,  &  will almost  definitely  warm  up  ,  even  if  it’s  just  for  appearances  sake  .

extra  details  :  links  you’d  like  to  incorporate  ,  wanted  connections  ,  literally anything  else  you  want  to  include  ,  etc  .

wanted  connections  will  be  coming  soon  !   for  now  ,  please  enjoy  this  authentic  video  of  jules  chillin  in  her  fav  corner  of  the  world  ,  aka  italia  ,  taken  by  her  bff  eli  😔✌️

[brujeria-histeria]

Best Mates

Harry meets up with his Friend who he hasn’t seen in years. Hacy of course.

Packing was all done, now it was time to say goodbye for the long weekend. Maggie double checked his checklist and checked his clothes, Mel suggested the best coffee shops in the area according to her friend in that city and Macy... well sweet Macy baked him a sweet send off treat and gave him a thermos full of his favorite piping hot tea, with a blush. She had learned well from his tea lesson tutelage. 

Harry was going to Seattle for the extended weekend to do important whitelighter business. He was only comfortable going making sure each of his charges pinky swore to call him immediately should any problem they could not face alone arised. He was excited himself because he’d be seeing an old friend he hadn’t seen in a couple of decades.  Louis Aznavour Jordan, a french born whitelighter who had been his partner in crime for a long time. 

Louis’s charges were often connected or close to his charges, up until he was assigned Fiona. They had many adventures together and in whitelighter years Louis was 10 years his senior, although they both died at the age of 37, Louis was born in 1910, whereas Harry was born in 1920. With country pride an all that, some wouldn’t think a Frenchman and an Englishman would get along so splendidly but they did. Louis was a dashing man, of course with an air of old fashioned charm and the handsome face to match, he had wavy slightly lighter brown hair than Harry, but was the same height as him and some would mistake them as cousins.”

After hugging each the girls goodbye, a kiss on the cheek from Maggie and squeezing Macy a little extra tight after he heard her breathe him in, he snapped his fingers and made it to a “checkpoint” in an alleyway and then emerged from it hailing a cab to his hotel. He got all checked in and made his way to the meeting spot in a reserved restaurant and looked around eagerly for Louis. 

“GREENWOOD!” He heard that distinct voice yell across a room full of Whitelighters. 

“JORDAN!” they shook hands and embraced warmly. “Good to see you old chap.” Harry smiled. 

“Likewise Mon Amie. Look at you, Whitelighter to the Charmed ones! I’m proud of you.” he praised him honestly. The pair continued to compliment and catch up on their way to a table where they ordered tea and finger sandwiches. 

“So, what’s it like serving the Charmed ones?” Louis leaned in. “I heard they are very cute young ladies.” Harry grew uncomfortable at his words, not because Louis was being offensive, because they were ......cute and Macy in particular made him blush a lot with how......cute... she was.

“Louis please, have some respect.” he blushed. 

“What? Word gets around, I heard they’re very talented and smart too. The youngest one wants to be what a psychiatrist, the middle one is almost a professor herself and the oldest one a doctor. Jackpot of charges.” he said sipping his water. “My current charge, bless his heart, is wants to go live in Salem to feel his ancestors before him, yet the boy is too scared to drive.” 

“I don’t blame him, people drive worse today than back in our day.” Harry replied. “And yes, I have great girls, they’re Darlings, mischievous and hard headed, but Darlings.” 

“Aren’t they all, hard headed and conniving?” Louis laughed.

“Mmm,” Harry hummed sipping his tea “Maggie the youngest one, truly is the definition of a younger sister, if it weren’t for the fact I’m almost 100 years old I’d swear she’s mine, she’s an angel but uses her big doe eyes to get her way when I won’t budge, she’s still compassionate and huge sweetheart and all she wants to do is help, she’s wise in her own ways.” 

“Children, always made you a softie.” Louis chuckled, 

“She’s 19 but yes in relativity to me, a child.” he scoffed. “Mel is the middle child, she’s hard headed and headstrong but I respect the hell out of that girl and she’s very smart, she takes no mess from anyone, not even me but she’s still so sweet when she doesn’t think anyone notices, she’s gained that aspect of kindness from her mother.” 

“Mmm sounds like my old charge Randie, remember her?” Louis asked, not particularly needing an answer. 

“Macy is the eldest and she’s...wonderful. She’s insanely smart, her I.Q. is impressively high. She’s a scientist, she went off to college at 16, you know.” Harry praised, and Louis noticed a shift in Harry’s demeanor. “She loves to bake and do nerdy little awkward things like watch corny 90s tv shows. And she’s so strong, she mastered her power in almost no time.”

“Hm,” Louis stared intently at Harry, who had a small smile grace his lips. “You have a crush on her don’t you?” 

“What??” Harry whipped his head up. “I, I do not, Louis, don’t be ridiculous.” he scoffed. 

“Greenwood I have known you since 1965, and I know how you look when you meet a girl you fancy and I know how you look when you meet a girl you really really fancy. And right now it looks like you really really fancy the eldest.” Louis said biting his sandwich nonchalantly. 

“I, well, um, well you know I can’t...” Harry sighed, there was no use in lying to Louis. They’d both known each other through each other’s relationships, even his relationship with Charity “Its not like I can actually date her, Louis, yes she’s gorgeous and smart, but she’s my actual charge and I’m.... like an old man compared to her. I was alive well before she was thought of.” Harry slouched in his seat. 

Louis understood Harry’s apprehension of course, Harry never dated a charge, not only was it against the rules but Harry for the most part would date around with mortal non magical women until it was time to move onto the next charge, well until he met Charity. 

“Harry, mon amie, if you go through your whole whitelighter lifespan worried about a fully grown adult woman being in diapers in the 80s or afterwards, you’ll never get laid again.” Louis sipped his tea a matter of factly, “My rule is 30 or older. Never younger personally. We feel, things Harry. Unless you want to be celibate you don’t have to be. We need love in our lives too, you know as well as I do our lives can be lonely, when you go home to your bed at night and there’s no wife or husband... no kids interrupting your sleep to climb in bed with you, if you’re lucky the least you could get is a cat or a dog... we’ve had all these things before probably... why should we be loveless servants, we’re more than that, and there are no elders around anymore. We’re free to love who we want.”

“Thank you Louis, but I don’t know if she really wants me in the same way I want her.” 

“Take time to feel her out, does she act differently around you, spend time with you outside of magic training and demon hunting?” 

“Well... she bakes me special treats, we have tea time and tv show bingeing together, we cook together, we listen to the opera together, sometimes the crystals that are brung into her lab for testing will be very old and the ones she finds as old as 1920 she names them after me, like Harry the 3rd.” Harry mused, a smile forming. 

“When did you first get a crush on her?” Louis had never seen his friend so happy.

“Mmm, probably after I first met her, and got to know her, and how she used science to solve problems along with magic. Of course I wasn’t head over heels, I fancied her a bit, but she was into another man at the time which eventually didn’t work out..”

“Well, mon amie, I say go for it. It sounds like she may be sweet on you back. I love to meet your amour and the other Charmed sisters one day.” 

“I think when i get back I’m going to ask to spend more time with her. I hope you meet them too, and I hope you fall in love like I have.” Harry sighed.

“I did, but you didn’t like me back.” Louis winked. 

“Hush up, you cheeky man.” Harry laughed

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Louis’s name is based on one of the two french actors/entertainers I know and I like them alot Louis Jordan and Charles Aznavour. I described him to kinda look like Louis Jordan though with Charles’s curly hair. Also I know more German than French and I’m not really good at Deutsche either lol

[bekups]

Give me all the even numbers. Gonna keep you busy for a while, haha.

2:Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? I did, not anymore though.

4:Do you find it easy to trust others? Yes and no. Really it all depends on how you treat me and carry yourself.

6:You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? Probably Oldman Hiz

8:Are you close with your dad? Very far far away.

10:What are you listening to? Ghost - Dance Macabre

12:Do you like hickeys? Sure I guess I like them on spots where I am not tattooed better.

14:Is there someone who continuously lets you down? No man. I try to keep my expectations low on peeps

16:Do you always answer your texts? Yea! Usually I forget sometimes because something else distracted me aha.

18:When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? I usually talk to them even if it’s a little everyday as of late.

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Why this thought at a time like this.

22:Do you believe what goes around comes around? Yea in a way I do. More like if it’s meant to happen it will happen.

24:Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? No

26:What colour is the shirt you are wearing? White t shirt with a black vest today.

28:Is anyone ignoring you right now? I don’t think so? If you are why?

30:Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? Honestly yea I would be.

32:Are you mad at anyone? No

34:How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 25

36:Do you have any summer plans yet? Ahah no

38:Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? No if they want to know something they can ask, and knowing them they’ll ask.

40:Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No.

42:Are you available? Yea

44:If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Uh my nose

46:Do you regret anything? No

48:Did you ever lose a best friend? Yea

50:Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? It wasn’t the right.

52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Yea

54:Did you get any compliments today? Nah and that’s ok man, they’re not needed all the time.

56:Do you own anything from other countries? Yea skatedecks actually aha.

58:Where have you lived most of your life? The UK

60:Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? No

62:Who do you text the most? Oldman Hiz

64:What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? They don’t have one?

66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Yea

68:Are you happy with where you live? Yea man it’s a tight little crib on the end of a street.

70:Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? The power of discussion and a open mind that withholds maturity.

72:What do you most like about making out? Uh that actually depends ahah. If I’ve kissed the person before and we are comfortable then the touching and body exploring and the moans or groans from the other and being able to feel how you’re making them feel in that moment.

74:When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? I probably never have that power to kiss someone first...

76:Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? My ex

78:Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? No, that will never happen.

80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Yea

82:Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Aha, no.

84:Last time you slow danced with someone? Uh... when I was 15.

86:How can I win your heart? ??? Uh what

88:What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Trying to sleep

90:Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? No

92:Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? Again the power of discussion and communication man, though if I get asked on a date I’m not going to go on another date with someone else till I know what the deal is with the other person.

94:Name four things that you wish you had! Uh never thought of wishes I’ve wanted ahaha.

96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Man I haven’t no ahah.

98:Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Why not

100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Yea why not if they asked and that’d be like seeing a bowling ball in a baseball park.

102:Are you too shy to ask someone out? Definitely ahaha

104:Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? Yea man it’s cute

106:Do you flirt a lot? Uh peeps take my honesty as flirting, when I am flirting It’s bluntly done ahah definitely ends with me blushing really fucking hard ahah

108:Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? Aha no less than

110:If you could kiss anyone who would it be? That’s my secret. Ah honestly not really anyone at the moment.

112:Does someone like you currently? I feel weird answering this question, it’s complicated, though yea...

114:Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious relationships man, that would have to be some special special ass vibe for me to trust someone to touch me that quick.

116:Are you happier single or in a relationship? Uhh what in my thoughts these are two different kinds of happy man. Being in a relationship brings way more different feels than what being single brings. Uhh I guess some peeps are sad single but in my opinion they’re not letting themselves out of their safety bubble or doing what makes them happy. Sure having someone else to do things with would be appreciated in many ways man but hey if it’s meant to happen and be then man it will be and it will be great ahah.

Man that was solid though, thanks man!

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Fanfic recommendations part six: 100% Alternate Universe stories.

Hey! It took me a while to post this and I’m sorry, got too caught up with, well, you know, life (ew). But I’m back!

All the stories listed in this are stories are 100% AU (yes, I’m including the Soulmate AU’s in this category). I’ve read and enjoyed them all.

Accidentally In Love by the bohemian flow.

Rachel Hyde was a witness to a strange romance that blossomed between her twin brother, Steven, and Jackie Burkhart, of all people. Her and Steven weren't the biggest fans of Jackie, but now, he loves her. How could Rachel possibly put up with her brother's girlfriend?

AU where Hyde has a sister. Not 100% focused on J/H, since it’s from Hyde’s sister POV, but it’s still pretty good.

This story is a WIP and it’s being updated constantly.

109k words, 28 chapters so far.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, OC/Kelso, OC/Eric, Eric/Donna.

A Different Start Could Lead to a Better End by SoftBubbles

Instead of Hyde meeting her as Kelso's annoying girlfriend, what if he met her as his annoying English partner, whom he quickly learns is more than she seems.

This story is not complete, it was last updated on July of 2020, and I pray for the author to come back to it one day, it’s a really good story.

Trigger warning for child abuse.

13k words, 14 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Bad Moon on the Rise by Badfanfic

Set around season 2. Jackie starts to develop feelings for Hyde, even though its the last thing she wants. Hyde is just trying to survive but is having difficulty controlling himself, especially around a certain cheerleader.

Hyde is a werewolf in this story. And THIS IS GOOD Y’ALL, I’ve read this like 10 times already.

Unfortunally, I think this story is abandoned, the last time the author updated was in June of 2020, but I still have hope, it’s really good and I’m DYING to read more. I absolutely adore stories with supernatural elements, and it’s so hard to find good ones in this fandom. Please read this.

13k words, 9 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Focus by Jenny7

After a metaphysical awakening, Hyde develops the ability to telepathically connect with a single stranger. What he doesn't expect is that the girl that he shares the connection with, a rich cheerleader with a complicated past, will forever alter his views on life and love.

SO GOOD. It’s complete and it has a sequel (that’s not complete but still worth the read), called Darlin, Walk Awhile With Me.

2k words, 19 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde.

History Rewritten by kezztip

What if Hyde got his Season 1 wish and stole Donna away from Eric? And then what if Eric had turned to a certain tiny cheerleader instead?

This story is complete, and if you have a soft spot for Eric/Jackie, than you might like this a lot.

81k words, 25 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/Eric, Hyde/Donna, Eric/Donna.

(I absolutely hate the Hyde and Donna pairing but it’s temporary so it’s okay).

Playing Pretend by isnotme

Caught up in her teenager concerns – and some wounds to heal, Jackie didn’t realize that her parents' marriage was crashing down for real, causing a major turnaround in her world.

.

In the edge of seventeen, Hyde had too much on his mind. With graduation coming so soon, he knew too well he was about to be kicked out of the Forman's home. But when Bud’s illegal activities came to knock on his door, Hyde saw his plans falling apart once again.

Or

An AU where Jackie and Hyde get themselves in one of those fake relationship situation and somewhere along the way, they find somethings in commun. Highly inspired in every cliché Rom Com ever made, including Netflix's most recents TATBILB and Isi and Ossi.

This story is a WIP and it’s being updated often.

33k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Pretty in Wisconsin by BelleBae

Jackie Burkhart has a lot to deal with. Her dad is in prison, her mum can't get it together and one of her best friends is in love with her. Will she be able to sort everything out by Prom? Inspired by Pretty In Pink.

Cute and complete.

20k words, 23 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Rock You Like a Hurricane by zeppelinandunicorns (yours truly)

Alternative universe where Donna met Jackie before meeting Eric and the rest of basement gang.

Jackie and Donna are 16 and 17 when they finally met the four basement misfits after a Fleetwood Mac concert.

This story is a WIP, and I do not plan on abandoning it, I love it too much to do that.

77k words, 15 chapters so far.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, background Red/Kitty and eventual Fez/Laurie and Kelso/Brooke.

Also Available on AO3

She Belongs to me series by QueenBookBuff

A universe where Kelso cared a lot more about Jackie and Hyde getting together and implications of a deeper background for both Jackie and Hyde and Kelso and Jackie.

This got me hooked, it’s really good, please read it.

It’s complete and there are sequels! They are called All Our Tomorrows

and The Scarlet and SJ Chronicles.

27k words, 7 works in total.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Summer Music Series by Wickedfetch

What if Hyde and Jackie didn't meet until 1985?

Complete.

7k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

That 70s show by Zenmaster21

What if Jackie had dated Hyde from the beginning instead of Kelso? This is simply a re-write of the episodes had Jackie and Hyde always been together.

One of my favorites stories from the entire fandom.

Not complete, but please read it, it’s worth it.

Trigger warning for child abuse.

152k words, 37 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

The Fifth Forman by BlueZeppelin

What if it wasn't just Eric and Laurie? What if they had another sibling? Like...Jackie? What would happen with Hyde? Would Eric be happy with his sister dating his best friend? Would Red like his daughter to be with one of the basement dumbasses?

This story is complete!!

52k words, 18 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One Where Jackie Moves In by Floweerchild96

Jackie has been living in New-York with her family but after her father goes to jail and her mother abandons her, she is forced to return to a town she thought she was done with for good. How will Jackie's reemergence in the basement effect the gangs lives?

A really good story, but unfortunally, it’s not complete. Still worth the read.

103k words, 20 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna.

Wall Around Your Heart by ourinvisibleink

Jackie Burkhart-Forman was adopted at almost ten years old by Red and Kitty, after her parents flee the country for drug trafficking crimes. Laurie grapples with addiction, Eric is messed up because of Red’s verbal abuse, Steven’s arrival is brought on by Jackie, Kelso is neglected, Fez is victim to racism, and Jackie befriends Jason, the new kid who happens to be gay.

This story is really good, but it deals with some serious stuff. I still love it.

Complete and it has a sequel called Plastar and Mortar.

52k words, 26 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Fez/Laurie, Red/Kitty.

One-shots:

A Little Less 70s, A Little More Modern AU by fairytalesandfolklore

A modern AU where the characters from That 70’s Show grew up in the 90’s x early 2000’s instead.

Cute as hell!!! Worth the read!

1k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

found a wife and a home (and a family that matters) by blackorchids

Hyde’s been part of the Forman family for years before they make him move in.

I placed this in the AU category because apparently Jackie and Hyde always dated, it doesn’t specify much.

1k words.

Rated G.

Pairings: background Jackie/Hyde and background Red/Kitty. This is not focused on the couples, but on Hyde’s relationship with the Forman’s.

Lady and The Tramp by soobeans

'See, I, myself, don't like you. I find you abrasive. But if I didn't know you, and I'd never talked to you, I'd think you were totally hot.'

In Point Place, Wisconsin, there are only three distinct areas. The Western area consists of the burnouts, thugs, outcasts, hopeless dreamers, poor people, and overall, tramps. The Eastern area holds the classy, rich, and more fortunate ladies and gentlemen. In between is where the two are forced to intermingle, but of course, they found a few ways to separate themselves.

8k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, some minor background Eric/Donna moments.

That Disco Episode: Zenmasters Style by springsteenicious

What if Hyde had learned how to dance to impress Jackie instead of Donna? And what if Jackie hadn’t been dating Kelso?

That Disco Episode, rewritten for Jackie and Hyde.

2k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Bonus: Soulmate AU’S:

I am so in love with Soulmate AU’s that I’m currently writing one, I wanted to make a special post just for this category but it would be too small so I just included it in here. 

Finders Keepers by nannygirl

It's said that before you find your soulmate you will find one of their lost items first, so what happens when Hyde finds a gold bracelet in The Formans' backyard? Will it lead him to his soulmate, someone who he's sure probably doesn't even exist?

This story is not complete, but worth the read.

5k words, 2 chapters.

Rated K+.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, some background Red/Kitty

It Takes Time to Fall in Love by yabookreader96

Jackie can't wait to meet her soulmate, but a dire mistake on her part leads her to mistakenly identify him as Michael, while Hyde watches his soulmate clock hit zero and immediately knows that it's Jackie. Years pass, Jackie with Michael, Hyde saying nothing as he knowingly watches from the side. Will this dynamic be permanent or will destiny bring the true soulmates together?

This story is complete.

18k words, 12 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, temporary Jackie/Kelso.

Mistaken Messages by MistyMountainHop

Jackie longs for her soulmate to accept her, and Hyde hopes his will leave him alone because he's in love with someone else. A stack of mystical index cards lets them communicate with their as-yet unidentified soulmates. But the more their soulmates write, the less control Jackie and Hyde seem to have over their fate.

This story is complete.

23k words, 5 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Also Available on AO3

Until We Get There by poetdameron

Running away from their own wedding is the craziest thing Hyde and Jackie have ever done together. But the tug he feels at his heart when realizing she doesn't want to marry him? The worst.

This story is complete.

39k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

Voodooized by mc_1

Eric’s been noticing something weird going on between Jackie and Hyde. At a party one night, all of Eric’s suspicions are confirmed when the two become love-marked- an event that occurs when soulmates are ready to be together, resulting in a mark on the skin that bonds them together for life. The unlikely couple puzzle over how they could possibly be paired together as they struggle to understand each other.

This story is a WIP.

14k words, 4 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde. Eric/Donna

Where It Wasn’t Supposed To Be by moved-ao3

Jackie thinks it's a blessing, Hyde a curse. Set in an alternate universe where characters receive a list with their soulmate's worst qualities, Jackie and Hyde struggle to navigate their feelings for each other when everything else seems pitted against them.

Not complete, and it makes me want to cry, but it’s really good.

15k words, 5 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

One-shots:

all i need by orphan_account

"When he is six years old, the words 'Pudding Pop' appear on his wrist in the curliest, loopiest handwriting he's ever seen. There's even a little heart dotting the 'i'."

1k words.

The author didn’t rate this one, I would rate it as T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Blush by springsteenicious

On a person's eighteenth birthday, they swap bodies with their soulmate. Hyde doesn't have high hopes for his soulmate, but when he wakes up in a very pink room with posters and painted nails, his life is changed for the better.

4k words.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also Available on AO3

I believe this is all!

I’ll repeat this at the end of every single post (seriously, I literally copy and paste this every single time): Speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so… yeah, this is just an idea.

Feel free to reply to this post if you think I left out a good story!

Next category: Christmas fics!

[talhaghafoor2019-blog]

The most important LGBTQ movies, TV shows, music and books of 2018

Say it with us: Representation matters. As a wave of change rolls through the entertainment industry, it’s unveiling the thirst for different stories — and, just as important, different storytellers — to appear on our screens and pages. No longer are audiences content to hear from the same homogenous voices we’ve always heard from.

2018 has been a banner year for onscreen and on-page representation, with diversity spreading all across our favorite binge-worthy media. As we look ahead at the movies, TV shows, and books in store for the future, there are several LGBTQ-related titles worth highlighting.

June 19: The Great Believers, by Rebecca Makkai

Makkai’s ambitious third novel centers on the AIDS crisis of the 1980s and the long shadow it cast. The story begins in Boystown, Chicago, where the epidemic has hit the queer community and a group of friends gather to mourn one of their own. The story jumps back and forth in time between ’80s Chicago and present-day Paris, where the sister (and only surviving relative) of the dead man searches for her estranged daughter. The Great Believers is filled with grief, but it also embodies the heart of the community.

June 26: Confessions of the Fox, by Jordy Rosenberg

Rosenberg is one of the first trans fiction writers to be signed by a major publishing house, and his forthcoming tome is proudly queer. It’s technically about 18th-century thieves, but it reimagines myths and fantasies of the old days in a more representative way, delving into LGBTQ subcultures and defying gender norms. As Rosenberg told EW, he “wanted to make that form of intimacy open to everyone.”

June 29: The Indigo Girls, Indigo Girls Live With the University of Colorado Symphony Orchestra

As its title suggests, the legendary folk duo’s latest release was recorded with a college orchestra during a sold-out show in Boulder, Colorado, last year. It features 22 songs from their extensive catalog, such as “Galileo” and “Closer to Fine,” remixed with a little something special.

July 6: Years & Years, Palo Santo

Fronted by actor-singer Olly Alexander (of Skins fame), this U.K. band’s new album envisions a world where the minority is always the majority. Its lead single, “Sanctify,” was inspired by “I’m a Slave 4 U”-era Britney Spears. What more do you need to know?

July 24: I Can’t Date Jesus, by Michael Arceneaux

This debut essay collection — a meditation on Arceneaux’s life as a gay black author — is boisterously funny, melancholic, and at times devastating. Arceneaux is a frequent Essence and Complex contributor and has built up a huge following, thanks to his wry commentary on everything from race to sexuality to popular culture. Jesus touches on topics including his own coming-out story and how artists like Janet Jackson and Lil’ Kim helped to shape his identity.

July 27: Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood

Rubbing elbows with (and the nether regions of) cinema royals like Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn at his same-sex brothel made marine-turned-celebrity pimp Scotty Bowers the unlikely keeper of closeted Hollywood’s secrets. But when documentarian Matt Tyrnauer peeled back the 94-year-old’s layers, he found a complicated figure whose glamorous past conflicts with his current hoarder lifestyle — a psychological anomaly begging for screen time too.

Aug. 3: The Miseducation of Cameron Post

This film, a recent Sundance breakout, stars Chloë Grace Moretz as a teenager at a gay conversion camp. It takes place in the early ’90s, and kicks off with the titular Cameron making out with the prom queen in the back of her boyfriend’s car. Her guardians send her to a “camp” called God’s Promise, which is exactly as disturbing as it sounds.

Aug. 31: Troye Sivan, Bloom

Only a handful of performers have parlayed YouTube stardom into successful pop music careers, and 23-year-old Sivan is one of them. His anticipated second LP includes the dance-heavy hit “My My My!”

Sept. 14: Lizzie

In this bodice-ripping cinematic take on the legendary maybe-murderess Lizzie Borden (who, if you’ll recall, was famous for being the prime suspect in the killing of her father and stepmother), Chloë Sevigny and Kristen Stewart fall axe-identally in love, with all the bloody consequences one would expect.

Sept. 28: Boy Erased

Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, and Russell Crowe star in this film, based on the true story of a young gay man whose parents send him to conversion therapy. It’s based on the memoir by Garrard Conley.

Oct. 5: Studio 54

This definitive documentary recounts the rise, reign, and fall of ’70s New York’s most hedonistic hot spot.

Nov. 2: Bohemian Rhapsody

Rami Malek transforms into Queen’s Freddie Mercury in a film that charts his life in music — and his legacy as a queer icon.

Date TBD: Him or Her, HBO

Issa Rae (the mastermind behind Insecure) and former Daily Show writer Travon Free are developing this comedy, which chronicles the dating life of a bisexual black man.

Date TBD: AJ and the Queen, Netflix

Written by RuPaul and former Sex and the City showrunner Michael Patrick King, this comedy just got a 10-episode order. It stars the Drag Race host as a drag queen traveling across the country from club to club with a recently orphaned 11-year-old stowaway.

Date TBD: Thom and Carson Project, Bravo

Original Queer Eye alums Carson Kressley and Thom Filicia have reunited for this upcoming reality series in which they whip up impressive and affordable redesigns for their clients.

This content was originally published here.

[the-musical-cc]

In the entire Ghostbusters franchise of film, TV, and games, who are your best characters?

TRICK QUESTION! ALL OF THEM EXCEPT RON. Nah, JK *cracks knuckles* here goes.

Look, thing is, I really love all the characters, particularly when those who didn’t get much of the limelight, like Peck, start getting more of a backstory, allowing me to better connect and understand them, but if I had to go for like my top six or whatever, this would be it:

Janine Melnitz (In any incarnation, really), Eduardo Rivera, Jillian Holtzmann, Garrett Miller, Egon Spengler (Again, any incarnation although dorky RGB Egon holds a special place in my heart), IDW Kylie Griffin and Patty Tolan. That’s the short-ish answer. My reasons? Under the cut ‘cause it’s gonna be long.

Janine Melnitz- It’s no secret to anyone who’s seen at even 5% of my GB posts that she’s my fave, but it’s not really an unbiased opinion, I guess. I watched the cartoon as a young kid and she was my favorite back then, so it makes sense that even now she’d still hold my heart. The games and films don’t really give us much detail about her, except for some vague generalities, but even these vague generalities make for a pretty lovable character. What’s not to love about this tough-as-nails, no-nonsense kinda character constantly surrounded by either scientific nonsense, sass or plain out bullshit? And yet she still finds the time to care. She’s full of love and rage in equal amounts and GOD, do I love it. The cartoon pretty much cements this and adds a layer of the weirdest mix of tomboyish attitude with flirty, playful charm- for most of the seasons, at least. I’m also a sucker for the kind of hero who doesn’t have the ‘Power’ to justify the ‘Responsibility’ but ACTIVELY chooses to take the responsibility either way, simply because they are that kind of person, which started as a tendency in the cartoon, having her grab the proton pack to fight when the need came and continued in the comics, both IDW and NOW. I could go on and on with reasons I love Janine, but this is long af already, lol, moving on.

Eduardo Rivera- I admit a good part of the soft spot I have for him stems from him being a latino guy (Probably of mexican descent, since he uses the term ‘Chamaco’ and I'm not sure other latin-american countries use it) but it’s mostly the context in which he is a ghostbuster. It’s like someone took the power-fantasy of one of those fans who think they own the material because they’ve liked it for years, and decided to go completely the other way. Eduardo is a bit of a smartass but more often than not it plays against him, he isn’t a chick magnet, isn’t a scientst like Egon or even scientifically inclined as Kylie or Roland, isn’t physically very strong like Garrett and has a bit of a scaredy-cat streak. In terms of people fit for being a ghostbuster, he’s probably at the bottom of the list. But he IS a ghostbuster, and a constant in the few episodes we got is him constantly failing to do as well as his team-mates and just trying to be better. Taking care of them as best as he can, trying very hard to feel like part of the team, refusing to back down when something isn’t going his way. He’s the real underdog story in GB, the way I see it, and I love it. I wish we’d gotten to see and know more of him than we did, but even with what little we got, I love him.

Jillian Holtzmann- I think she's a general fave in the new team and I can see why. If anyone ever wondered what a mad scientist would be like if they were on a sugar rush, Holtzy's the answer. She mixes a bit of the generally cooky vibe we got from the tech of the old team and how they used it or learned from it –with seemingly complete disregard for common sense unless Winston was there- with a higher energy and a more playful disposition. She's loud and rowdy and loves joking around. Geeky. Unsubtly gay but not really a token gay either. There is just so much about her that I needed to see in media when I was younger and I love that today's kids get to see. She's not all perfection either, under all that flare, she's still scared and insecure and a little bit lonely, but getting better. I generally love how the new team is so damn feelsy, because, dammit, I'm a sucker for team-as-family dynamic, but I really feel deeply for how awkward at her affection Holtzy is, and how patient and understanding the others are for it. It's just really wholesome.

Garrett Miller- I’m gonna be straight up and say a disabled Ghostbusters really made an impression on me back in the early 2000′s when ExGB was on in Canal 5. Before rewatching I couldn’t really remember much of it- hell, I was under the impression that Egon and Janine were an official couple in the series, for whatever reason? (I wonder if I just assumed because they were the group’s ‘Mom and dad’?) and didn’t even remember Eduardo having a crush on Kylie, but I DID remember Garrett clearly. How he looked, who his Latin-American dub actor was, his attitude... it just really stuck with me. Upon my rewatch I realized he was also one of my favorite types of character; he comes from all kinds of bad places in the sense of toxicity. Hung around would-be neo-nazis when he was young and adopted a lot of their attitudes without meaning to, has a generally bad attitude about asking or receiving help or accepting any sort of vulnerability, even though at times it comes back to bite him on the ass. He actively works towards getting better too, working on his empathy and tolerance for ways of thought that don’t match his, and that just really gets to me. Unlearning toxic behaviors is never easy, showing it as a struggle without making it a lecture through him really cemented Garrett as a fave.

Egon Spengler- What can I say. He was my crush as a kid in the cartoon (according to my mom, at least) and now as an adult, Ramis Egon is my crush. Embarrassing fangirlish-reasons aside, you gotta love a guy that's somehow figured out portable atomic lasers that catch ghosts but most likely has forgotten to eat for the past two days. He's the perfect mix between being a genius and being a dumbass. And I know a lot of fans find how he seems to find the emotional fields completely alien... cool? Even though, when you have problems reading other people's emotions IRL it's anything but? But what I love is the lengths he goes to try sometimes. It's clearly not easy for him to understand even his own feelings at times, always translating them to the intellectual approximate, but he's still constantly trying. And when he does get it right, like he clearly has with the companionship with the rest of the team, it's beautiful. It's glorious to see him act just a little bit immature with the rest of the guys when they pile on Peter or start teaming up to throw shade at someone. It's beautiful to see him being able to come out of his shell more and more, the more he learns how to. I guess that's what really gets me about him, thinking eventually everyone finds their place and their people with whom they can be more true to themselves.

IDW Kylie Griffin- Why specifically the comics Kylie? I feel like ExGB Kylie suffered from this thing in the late 90s, early 00's where they thought making a female character mean was a feminist thing; I appreciate the whole 'Women don't HAVE TO be agreeable or make men's feelings their priority' thing, but... I'm just not a fan of someone who constantly humiliates a person who has a crush on them simply because they can. IDW Kylie keeps the edge to her attitude but on a much more reasonable personality. She has little to no tolerance to bullshit- but still seems mindful of boundaries and of who deserves to be on the bad end of her temper and when. I'm tempted to say she's more 'Mature'. Less on the 'Edgy' side. What I love about her is how she balances the gloomy, goth aesthetic with a kind, eager to learn and help others type of personality, without this meaning she's a pushover or naïve in any way. Plus, she's both a dog AND a cat person. Sure, it's possible this was who the original Kylie was under all those layers of soapbox activism and 'Better than you' attitude, but I can't know for sure.

Patty Tolan: You know how a lot of people was whining about the way she spoke? Ironically dubbed as a 'Racist stereotype' even though the whole argument against 'Ghetto speech' is racist in it's core? But anyway, you know the way Patty expresses herself? If people would have bothered to listen to what she said rather than try and find reasons to get mad, they would have noticed that what she said and what she did was what mattered. They immediately saw a black woman, using a commonly regarded as 'Black' pattern of speech and stopped paying attention. A mistake, I think. Patty has a degree in History (Confirmed by IDW but I honestly thought as much before that) and is the most well-read of her team, on top of possibly being the only one of them with common sense that isn't over-whelmed by other thoughts, and having the most practical way of thinking that doesn't get too reliant on the ghostbusting gadgets. Patty singlehandedly puts the myths that looking or talking a certain way determines whether you're smart or not to rest, in what Ghostbuster respects, and I love her for it. I'm not gonna lie, it's also really impressive to see someone exorcise another person via slap. That's Phoenix Ikki level of badassness, and I will never be over it.

Thaaaat’s about it? Wtf this is so long. Thank you if you read all the way to here and I hope this answer was a good one.

[sambinnie]

1. I had dressed in my swimming kit this morning with the briefest and most unusual sense of Ugh, another time loop morning. But by the time we got to our spot, the sun was low and bright, blazing gold, and the mist on the river was so thick I thought it was smoke from a hidden bonfire. Once in the water, gilded terns flew over us, and the temperature was noticeably warmer — too cold to be cool, even, but warmer than early spring. On the way back to the bank, the sun reached through the trees in misty glowing fingers onto the surface of the river, and small fish leapt ahead of us. I said, stupidly, ‘Are we in a Disney film?’ Sumer is icumen in (just about), as they say. 

2. I always like Pop Culture Happy Hour, and I’ve really enjoyed their coverage of the Oscar nominations this week; firstly, for their recognition in Thursday’s episode of Best Song nominee ‘Husavik’ as the only contender that actually fits the brief, and secondly for mentioning today the sheer, visceral joy that is Tom Holland’s old Gene Kelly/Rihanna appearance in Lip Sync Battle. Two summers ago my instagram feed was just hourly screen grabs from this routine, which looked like I was having a breakdown but felt waaaay too good for that. If you know anything hotter, then, honestly, good for you. 

3. Speaking of Husavic, I imagine anyone who would watch Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga has already done so, but if you haven't, may I recommend it? Over this strange previous year, it's been a baffling bit of delight and comfort, the only film I’ve watched three times over the lockdowns, and an oasis of optimism and gentle silliness. Silliness gets such a bad rap, but I'd take physical comedy and magical elves any day over the po-faced dumbness of a Breaking Bad or a Killing Eve, programmes so convinced of their own holy importance that they end up as over-budget soaps. I gave up watching the real Eurovision when I quit twitter, but my goodness, the Song-A-Long still makes me beam every single time, and Husavic still makes me cry every single time. As for Dan Stevens’ Lemtov — he’s great. Utterly, utterly marvellous, heart-breaking and heart-warming at the same time. Is it a perfect film? No. But it's perfect for now. 

4. I’ve never counted myself as a huge Patrick Kielty fan, but after listening to his Borderline stand-up special on Radio 4 a few weeks ago, I very much am. Whenever I brush up against the news I find myself panicking about how awful people can be, how countries turn against themselves, how civil wars happen, how we take peace for granted until it's too late, how ridiculous divisions can be and the terrible, unnecessary price we pay for them. Patrick Kielty covers all this, in his 28-minute look at the Troubles, with wit and intelligence, grief and anger, but above all with insight and with hope. Please listen while it's still available. 

5. I am old, Father William, as the poem doesn't go, and it’s most noticeable when I despair at Radio 4 presenters. I really really really miss Sue Lawley and Kirsty Young, Mariella Frostrup and Eddie Mair — presenters who made me feel like there was an adult in the room. I’m all for Young People Having Astounding New Ideas, but sometimes it’s nice to make eye contact with people who have lived longer than a decent pair of shoes, and silently share the wistful memory of a time when it seemed that just believing in something could make it true, or useful, or correct, and things weren’t a thousand complex shades of right and wrong; or even better, have an adult express that feeling with clarity and grace. So I am old. Advantages: I can enjoy a great deal of time spent rearranging my seed packets, or finally learning some bird calls, or not being quite so swayed by fashion, or laughing. Disadvantages: the unstoppable march of time and the ever-chilling hand of Death. All this is to say: David Sedaris, in the passing of years, has turned more to the subject of death and ageing, and I love him even more for it. Like his most recent book, Calypso, his latest Meet David Sedaris series is full of gloom and endings, but somehow all with a lightness and humour that makes them thoughtful, rather than bleak. Another one ideal for this odd moment in history. 

6. The housemates and I have taken to only watching sub-90-minute films recently (see: unstoppable march of time). Shirkers is a wonderful slice of memory, loss, beauty, ambition and the power of young dreams; The Barkley Marathons shows human determination at its most pointless and yet most joyful; Rope beautifully displays James Stewart being the father I always wanted, and contains some of the most pleasing cinematography I've seen for a long time; The King of Kong is blood-boiling and ludicrous and well worth googling the aftermath once you’ve watched it; The Life of Brian has some questionable moments but even more hilarious and sharply-observed ones. ‘A touch of derring-do?’ ‘Ah — about eleven, sir.’ (Who can ever explain the mysteries of what any individual finds funny?) 

7. If you want to read my latest book in ebook, it's out now, otherwise the paperback will be out in July. It's not a hard read, but it is quite a nice one. 

[travelcenter-uk]

Trip to Dubai: 6 Best Encounters and Wow Facts

I was able to find a lot of answers to some prolonged questions on my last trip to Dubai in November 2019. Not just that, but I learned several wow facts that blew my mind!

Keep reading. I have a lot to tell you.

Did you know that the literal meaning of Dubai is money? And that, Dubai was mostly a small desert 50 years ago, but now it is ranked as one of the fastest-growing cities in the world?

I would love to see that shock on your face when you read this. Because, when I first learnt this, I went crazy!

Then, I started to wonder what more about Dubai, don’t I know?

However, I was able to overcome this dubiousness! (Find the pun).  It was, as I started visiting some of the best tourist attractions in the country.

1 - I visited the Dubai Frame

You may wonder why I visited the Dubai Frame first, out of all tourist attractions. Well, it was because of the hype.

My brother has been in Dubai for almost fifteen years now. And, this frame has always been a hot topic for him.

I was a little bland at first, though. Like you are right now. But can you see this giant, glistening Gold frame in the picture below?

Yeah, I couldn’t let my curiosity kill me.

What is so special about it?

The wow factor is, this giant frame has a symbolic connection between the old and new city of Dubai! It is also the most massive frame in the world.

Is the visit free of charge?

Although this frame stands there like an adornment, you cannot just visit it. You need to purchase tickets. We purchased it online (because it is easier than staying under the hot sun at the venue to buy). There were four of us as adults, so we had to pay around 11 Euros each. They did allow the kids in for free.

The fun part about the Dubai Frame?

The panoramic glass lifts, of course!

Once you are on one of these lifts, it shuttles you to the top.

I have a fear of heights, so this was even fun. I know I should say ‘terrified’, but it was fun! Because, once you are at the top, you can walk on a clear glass walkway along the entire 313-foot width of the frame.

Pictures taken from here are so Instagram worthy (mostly if you use your selfie-stick or GoPro). Oh, and it was almost sunset when we visited the frame, so the view was breath-taking!  Now you know what the best time is for you to visit the Dubai Frame on your next trip to Dubai.

2 - I had Dinner in the sky!

If this is not in your ‘things to do in Dubai’ list, add it right now!

I can’t tell you that I signed up for this with no hesitations. I kept throwing tantrums for nearly ten minutes.

My brother had pre-purchased the tickets to ‘Dinner in the Sky Dubai’ online It was because they allowed only 22 pax during a single slot! Do you think saying ‘no’ after that would have been a good thing to do?

I don’t think so.

Tip: If you are planning to have Dinner in the Sky in Dubai, pre-purchase your tickets online. This way you can pick the day and time-frame of your choice! You can also contact the team at Travel Center UK to make an arrangement.

Okay, now to the best part!

Familiarizing with the premises

We were welcomed with a refreshing drink. After which, we had to deposit all our belongings (except mobiles & cameras) into a locker.

It was relieving to do so because we could enjoy the whole time without panicking. I mean, I am sure none of us wants to see our bags fly down from 50 m above the ground.

Once we made ourselves comfortable, they strapped us to bucket seats. Of course, with safety harnesses.

The fun part of this?

They used cranes to lift the slots. My nephew had a great time, screaming and enjoying the whole process.

As I love photography, I did not miss out on the breath-taking views of the glittering skyline. 50m above the ground, we were able to see the Dubai Marina, Atlantis, Burj Al Arab and Burj Khalifa!

What about the food?

The chefs onboard were outstanding. As soon as we were in the sky, they started to make our two-course gourmet menu live! Yes, we got to see our menu prepared before our eyes.

The food was excellent, along with the peppy tunes accompanying us as we had our delightful feast.

For nearly 90 minutes, we enjoyed our meals with 360 degrees view of the splendid city!

3 - I Realized why Dubai is a Birder's Paradise

Thanks to my little nephew, who kept crying to visit the wildlife sanctuary. I learned that there are over 320 bird species that migrate between Europe, Asia, and Africa via Dubai!

It was not some random fact thrown in the wildlife sanctuaries. It was a wow fact I heard from the guard at one of the sanctuaries there.

Another double-wow fact about the birder’s paradise is, the rare birds passing through the city. These rarities include; spotted eagles, broad-billed sandpipers, and greater herons. Usually found passing during the spring and fall.

Can they be sighted?

Yes! You will easily get this opportunity if you go on an unplanned trip to Dubai.

Ras al Khor Wildlife Sanctuary is from where I learned these wow facts. It is also where I sighted most of these rarities. The show-stealers, however, were the flamingos. They created a picture-perfect sight in the wetlands, with their beautiful pink feathers.

4 - I Tandem Skydived to see Palm Island in Dubai

Do you recall me telling you that I have a fear of heights? If you do, then you surely know this was a challenge I took.

Undeniably worth it!

What was unique about tandem skydiving in Dubai?

There is a wow fact about tandem skydiving in Dubai! The types of jumps are, of course, similar to any other countries (in general). But here we could explore the world’s largest artificial archipelago!

We were also able to see the Atlantis Hotel, Burj Al Arab, The World Islands, and Dubai Marina! An all-in-one sight-seeing experiences.

What were the charges like to skydive in Dubai?

The Palm Drop Zone that we chose was quite expensive compared to the other spots. However, it gave us a spectacular view and best skydiving experience (as first-timers).

If you are on a budget and still want to try skydiving in Dubai, then you can take the Desert Campus Drop Zone. If you are more afraid of heights than I am, then you should try Indoor skydiving. Best way to take that first step to overcome your fear of heights. It’s wallet-friendly too! (Thank me later!)

5 - I travelled on the longest driverless metro line in the world!

Wow! I could not wait to boast about it.

I have given you the wow fact already, but not the double-wow facts yet.

The city’s Red Line (32.37 miles), runs through the heart of Dubai like an artery. I am not exaggerating, but the experience of taking the Red Line was completely futuristic!

The Red Line cuts through the centre of Dubai and flies past the city’s many newly built skyscrapers and landmarks.

What is so special about this metro line?

The Red Line experience includes cheap fares, air-conditioned cabins, on-time service, and multiple ticket classes! It’s like a Do-It-Yourself tour of Dubai when you take the metro.

The double-wow fact here is, the Red Line consists of more than twenty tourist spots and restaurants!

What are these tourist spots and restaurants?

iFly Dubai

Dubai Festival City

Deira City Centre

Dubai Creek

Xiao Wei Yang

The Noodle House

Red Shrimp

ADCB (formerly Karama Souk)

Zabeel Park

World Trade Centre

The Emirates Towers

Applebee’s

Tim Hortons

Rose Rayhaan by Rotana

Burj Khalifa

Dubai Fountain

Dubai Mall

Ski Dubai at Mall of the Emirates

Dubai Marina

Jumeirah Lake Towers

Ibn Battuta shopping mall

Did the Red Line metro tickets cost a lot?

I had the same concern as you. But luckily, it was significantly cheaper than I thought.

For tourists and occasional visitors, they offer ‘red tickets’. And they cost only 0.46 Euros!

It’s interesting as it sounds. Because the Red tickets are worth for ten trips or five daily passes!!

6 - I lost myself in the most extensive natural flower garden in the world

Miracle Garden was one of my favourite places to visit in Dubai. The garden was like a total animation. My trip to Dubai would have definitely not been complete without having visited this garden.

The wow fact about the miracle garden could go on as a list.

Starting from, the fact that it displays almost 50 million flowers at its premises!

Then, the responsible use of water through drip irrigation! I mean, don’t we know they could have spent millions on bringing freshwater for the garden if they wished? But they didn’t!

What were the best things to do in the Miracle Garden?

The garden included so many entertainment facilities and attractions. Some of them that we did not miss out were;

Floral Parades

Street performances

Zumba sessions

Trampoline Park

Disney Avenue

Mickey Mouse

Life-size Emirates A380

Lost Paradise

Cabanas for relaxation

Butterfly Passage

Hearts Passage

Umbrella Passage

Giant Tortoise

Floral Clock

Floral Castle

Giant Teddy Bear

Lake Park

Hill Top

Next How much did the visit to Miracle Gardens cost?

The entrance fee for us (adults) was nearly 9.16 Euro per head. For my seven-year-old nephew, we paid 6.53 Euro, and the baby nephew was allowed in for free.

Additional costs? Definitely, for all the snacks, we whacked at all the restaurants, kiosks, cafes and sweet bars!

#ThisIsNotTheEnd

So, I’ve spoken about the six best encounters and wow facts already. I hope you all had a good time taking notes. That means, now you know some of the must-do on your next trip to Dubai!

But trust me, these aren’t everything that Dubai has for you. I have only spoken about a few. There is so much more I could talk about, but if you wish to read. So, let me know in the comments if you are interested to know more about my trip to Dubai!

You can also read this e-book from Travel Center.

Oh, and there is something important about my trip to Dubai that I should not forget to mention!

Although my brother escorted us in Dubai, we did need a Travel agent! I mean, how else could we have got some of the best Dubai deals? It is where Travel Center came in functional!

If you are planning on your trip to Dubai, then you must talk to one of the travel experts at Travel Center. They not only provide you with the best travel solutions but also give you a list of customized and affordable deals to choose from!

Now, that makes my seventh wow fact for you. (Chuckles)

Read More:- Trip to Dubai: 6 Best Encounters and Wow Facts

This Article, Information & Images Source (copyright):- Travel Center UK Blog

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 19/12/2020

Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” spends a second week at #1. It’s #1 in the States as well. We’ve got a week of Christmas music and a Taylor Swift album bomb so... God, let’s just get this over with. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

So let’s start as always with the drop-outs from the UK Top 75, which we have a few of but not as notable as the last few weeks, as the less interesting 2020 hits that just can’t leave the chart are slowly dropping off. We have some of the bigger hits like “Looking for Me” by Diplo, Paul Woodford and Kareen Lomax (Good song, by the way), “WAP” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, as well as some more recent and more moderate successes like “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra and “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI. I can see this all rebounding after Christmas though, especially those last few. What I can’t see rebounding are the three Christmas songs that ironically dropped off from last week, particularly “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia which I do not remember being a top 20 hit. We do, of course, have some more fallers as well, like “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #14 and “Santa Tell Me” also by Ariana at #17 – not a good week for her, I suppose. I also find it funny that we have a couple Christmas songs that actually dropped places this week, not many of which are notable, but to give an example, due to three separate songs entering the top 10 this week, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé dropped five spots to #12. On the course of fallers, we also have “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #22, “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #28, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #36, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #44, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #48, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #50, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #51, “you broke me first” by TateMcRae at #57 (the biggest fall this week), “Golden” by Harry Styles at #58, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #60, “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes at #63, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #65, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #69, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee at #70 and “A Little Love” by Celeste at #74. Of course, we also have some notable returning entries and gains, those returning entries being “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #75 and “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Adele Dazeem and Michael Bublé at #61. The most notable gains aren’t as plentiful this week because I feel like most songs, Christmas or not, are relatively stable if they’re not falling dramatically off the chart, so I’m not going to separate it into festive and non-festive tracks this time. We start off with “No Time for Tears” – the biggest climber this week – by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix up to #64, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #43, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #32, and whilst that’s it for notably large gains, we do see “Whoopty” by CJ and “This Christmas” by Jess Glynne enter the top 10 at #10 and #9 respectively. Delightful. Well, we’re already done with the rundown – oddly quickly – so let’s get on with these new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#72 – “The Business” – Tiesto

Produced by Anton Rundberg and Tiesto

I have no time for umlauts. They’re simply not productive. Dutch DJ Tiesto has been at it for a while now and “The Business” is his new house-pop track with vocals from James Bell, probably propped up the chart by a remix with English DJ 220 KID. The original song charted though, so we’ll talk about that one and I do like the cold, bizarrely eerie strings for a song like this, even if the pitched-down vocals make it more comical than anything. The deep house groove here is cool but mostly cheap, especially whatever the hell those claps are. The bridge is aimless and James Bell gives a performance really not worthy of note. At least this has some essence of personality and artistic intent, unlike 220 KID’s usual output, who actually improves on the song by giving it more of a 90s Eurodance tinge, in my opinion at least. The 220 KID remix is a remix of a song that already felt like a remix though, so everything about this is unnatural and awkward, even for EDM.

#71 – “Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas” – Dolly Parton and Michael Bublé

Produced by Kent Wells

The only time country music charts on the UK Singles Chart is when it’s barely country or Dolly Parton. Whilst a lot of country music is rarely appreciated out of the States, I feel like Dolly Parton is one of those singers that’s just universally loved. Michael Bublé on the other hand I have no patience for and I was dreading the time I’d have to review his songs again. The man made a career of off offensively inoffensive Christmas standards and his original music is painfully bad, so honestly, I’ll take it, but the man is clearly not interesting and whilst I understand why Dolly had him on her A Holly Dolly Christmas TV special in the vein of Mariah Carey’s this same year, I’m not excited to hear it. I’m not excited to talk about it either, because this is only vaguely country and is mostly just a jazz-adjacent traditional pop standard, except this is an original song. Neither Parton and Bublé have any chemistry, there’s a lot of empty space, and Bublé’s awkward attempts to add personality to what is and will always be a dull, painful slog of a track are just cringe worthy if anything. This song is barely about Christmas either or anything warm and intimate about cuddling up with family as I expected. It’s just the image of Dolly Parton banging Michael Bublé by the fireplace, and it goes on for about three minutes and 39 seconds too long. Next.

#66 – “Baby it’s Cold Outside” – Brett Eldredge featuring Meghan Trainor

Produced by Ron Mousey and Jay Newland

“Baby it’s Cold Outside” spews controversy nowadays, and whilst I never found a reason to be mad at what is clearly a dated but to me pretty innocuous and satirical Christmas standard, I never found a reason to like the song. Even the classic Dean Martin version is pretty much a slog, but that doesn’t mean I can stomach John Legend’s “politically correct” version either, which is probably the worst rendition I’ve heard, although Bublé’s is close. I don’t mind Tom Jones’ attempt, I guess. Regardless, this version from 2016 is by another country singer, but it did just chart because Meghan Trainor’s here. These two might have even less chemistry than Dolly and Bublé; at least they tried, whilst here despite the song being a back-and-forth, they seem to be on completely different ideas on how to tackle the song. Admittedly, I like this flat, jazzy rendition of the track fine but if anything Trainor is an inconvenience to my enjoyment of this lounge track. She shows off her vocal strength a bit too much for it to work until that awkward burst of energy at the end. Also, Brett Eldredge exists. How unfortunate. It may also be insensitive in retrospect, and maybe ironic, that the song ends with Eldredge warning her she might catch pneumonia if she went outside. Huh.

#55 – “Forever Young” – Becky Hill

Produced by Charlie Hugall

“Forever Young” by Alphaville is one of those classic 1980s synth-pop tracks that sounds so obviously 1980s but is far from dated, with the lyrics being a take on contemporaneous political issues covered in optimistic calls for action and gorgeous strings that undercut Marian Gold’s longing, belting delivery and of course, that horn section at the end that sadly fades out instead of coming to a genuine climax but would be brilliant either way. The song has a legacy indeed, and is continuously topical, being covered by One Direction, Kim Wilde and Imagine Dragons, and being sampled or interpolated by Dorian Electra, JAY-Z, Maroon 5 and even Tangerine Dream. The song has had so many reimaginings that it’s hard to imagine what new can be done with a classic track that didn’t really need much reworking in the first place... so naturally, Becky Hill made an acoustic cover for a McDonald’s commercial. It’s just her singing it vaguely competently over an unimaginative piano rendition of the original, but it does offend me in how it strips everything out of the original song to replace it with a vague orchestral swell and exhaustingly boring delivery from Becky Hill. Sure, the original song sounds cheaper now but if anything, this sounds even cheaper, with mixing drenched in reverb that makes everything sound a lot uglier than it’s supposed to. JAY-Z screwed “Forever Young” up to hell and back on his track with Mr Hudson but at least he rapped over it and had a bit of a sample flip, instead of just reciting the lyrics and chord structure without realising what made the song so biting and anthemic in the first place. This isn’t REVIEWING THE ADVERTS though, even though most of the time it ends up being, so I won’t bore you much longer with this.

#37 – “Show Out” – Kid Cudi, Skepta and Pop Smoke

Produced by Dot da Genius, Plain Pat, Heavy Mellow and Gravez

I knew this would be the highest-charting track from the Cudi album as soon as I saw the feature credit, but I didn’t expect it to be the only one charting. Regardless, I should probably talk about the album because I have listened to Man on the Moon III: The Chosen, Cudi’s highly-anticipated follow-up to his last two Man on the Moon records, both of which are pretty damn great, and this one isn’t far from it either. I liked it a fair bit and even if its derivative first few tracks means it gets off to a slow start, there are absolutely moments on this album where we see a classic Cudi matured and aged, and able to talk about mental health in shallow detail as always but from a perspective where we see a Scott Mescudi that has settled down and is happy with life. While it’s far from a perfect album, I won’t lie and say it wasn’t heart-warming to hear Cudi like this considering how much he’s struggled in his decade-long career, and it’s backed by great, psychedelic production as always. “Show Out” is a complete abandonment of all of that, acting as a shallow turn-up drill track with a massive posthumous hook from the late Pop Smoke’s booming voice, accompanied by an Auto-Tuned Cudi mumbling over gorgeous string samples, which don’t feel like they’re watered-down by the overwhelming drill beat and instead accentuated, which I think is missing from a lot of UK drill. It helps that Skepta is here to slide effortlessly in his verse. He’s selling out shows and shooting guns “the same size as Kevin Hart”, and whilst the verse feels a little short, he absolutely steals the show when he’s there. That’s not to say Cudi doesn’t spit endlessly on his verse, which is also fire, before an atmospheric bridge where, in the midst of the gang violence and hedonism, he calls out to God to ask what the cost of it is. It’s the one part of the song that makes it make any lick of sense in the context of the album, but it’s also the one part I’m never so sure on. It sounds pretty jarring between Cudi’s verse and the hook, and it’s not cathartic when Pop Smoke comes back in so I think it could have been better used as an outro if anything. Other than that, the song is still really hard-hitting and one of my favourites from Man on the Moon III. Songs like “The Void” and “Rockstar Knights” with Trippie Redd blow it out of the water though.

#19 – “no body, no crime” – Taylor Swift featuring HAIM

Produced by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner

As you probably know, Taylor Swift dropped a new album last week called Evermore, which is basically a much weaker collection of B-sides from the Folklore sessions. I’ll discuss my gripes with the album more as we get onto “willow”, so I’ll give some short individual reviews here. This is one of my favourite tracks on the record, mostly because of how it takes Taylor back to her country roots but in sharp contrast to the original bubblegum country-pop style she had on her first few albums, she and HAIM of all people perform a pretty convincing true crime story about a missing persons case that might just end up being a murder. With a catchy chorus, oddly eerie and menacing delivery from Taylor Swift that sounds determined and honestly kind of badass with those electric guitars in the post-chorus, as well as some descending melodies in the verses I admittedly love, this is one of the best tracks on the album without hesitation for me. It’s one of the few tracks on Evermore that feels like Swift’s storytelling, knacks for infectious choruses, and the more serious, rootsy acoustic guitar-based instrumentation, are in perfect harmony, even if it is a bit short and much like the rest of the album, it falls victim to the meandering nature of these songs and their aimless bridges or outros. Either way, it’s good. Check it out if you haven’t already. It’s cool to see HAIM back on the chart too, by the way.

#15 – “champagne problems” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner

When I was listening to Kid Cudi, Avalanches and Taylor last Friday all in one session, I was constantly engaged even through the duller parts of the second half of We Will Always Love You or the most rote, derivative Travis Scott rip-offs present on Man on the Moon III. I was only awake for about three and a half hours when I first went through Evermore, but you know that feeling you get in your eyes when you start feeling tired or exhausted? Maybe that’s just a me thing, but “champagne problems” is that feeling when your eyes start to sore a bit and you start blinking a bit more. The storytelling isn’t as engaging as it usually is on this track, and although I do like the main narrative, it takes a detour and doesn’t decide whether it wants to focus on that or a vaguer metaphor about mental illness and how it’s affected Taylor as a celebrity. I care about that on Reputation but I do not give a damn when it’s presented with this uninteresting chasm of piano melodies and a really awkward, pointless outro, once again, that’s out-of-place if anything. I wish anything on Evermore was as good as “seven” but that’s wishful thinking. Anyway, let’s start rambling, because it’s the big-boy debut time now.

#3 – “willow” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Aaron Dessner

I have nothing to go off when judging Aaron Dessner’s production. He’s the frontman behind The National and he does contribute to the album vocally on one of the worst tracks but usually takes a backseat in production. On Folklore, although Dessner was still greatly involved, it felt a lot more varied and interesting from Taylor particularly, who went on unexpected songwriting angles and some melodies I genuinely love. I’m not a fan of the indie-folk direction for her – I think her style of writing and vocals actually fits better on pop tunes, which might be a hot take but I mean, my favourite album from her is Reputation so I’m full of those when it comes to Taylor. I can appreciate when it’s done well, though, and I like her storytelling abilities most of the time, unless of course the song itself is nothing to be interested in... and, I’m sorry, but half of Folklore was aggressively dull, particularly the back half, and I can barely make it through songs like “exile”. Maybe I just don’t “get” it, maybe I’m just not “listening hard enough”, or maybe, perhaps, I’m just not a fan of Taylor doing exactly what she usually doesn’t do on her albums, which is bore me. Say what you want about Red, 1989 or even Reputation, and ESPECIALLY Lover, but they take risks, intriguing ones at that and whether they’re successful or not is obviously up to listener’s interpretation, but regardless, it makes for a listen that is unpredictable and often fascinating. Lover is an absolute mess full of pretty mediocre attempts to do... well, anything, but it’s a better listen than Evermore out of sheer intrigue alone. It’s interesting to hear Taylor try all of these different musical ideas, whether it’s her trying obnoxious bubblegum-pop on “ME!”, ballads with the Dixie Chicks, 1980s-style synth-pop on “Getaway Car” and the majority of 1989, or even industrial-pop rapping on “...Ready for It?”. It’s not interesting to hear her make 16 quite similar songs and less than half of them have a unique flavour to them that makes the hour-long listen feel like you gained anything from it. It’s not just the album experience either that Folklore and Evermore lack, but it’s also the songs themselves, particularly in Evermore. Let’s look at “cardigan”, one of the best songs on Folklore, with Swift’s pretty low-key but emotive delivery, a noticeable and profound refrain, songwriting that evokes a pretty sweet metaphor and tells the start of a story that runs throughout the record in a way that can detach itself from the rest of the record, infectious choruses (even if they are cribbed somewhat from “Wildest Dreams”) and that subtle drum machine with pretty intricate percussion patterns covered by gorgeous string compositions, and a four-minute runtime that feels worth it, especially for that last chorus and verse, an effortless switch-up. Now let’s compare it to its equivalent lead single “willow”, a track with a checked-out Taylor singing pretty janky, awkward melodies over a cluttered mess of guitar strumming, with absolutely none of the very few ideas Taylor has musically actually succeeding. The song has to drop out entirely because Taylor and Dessner apparently can’t handle the three over-lapping ideas just in the first two verses and choruses, and whilst it still has that switch-up for the third verse/bridge, it does not feel worth it because there is another, over-long chorus with no lyrical adjustments to the hook that made the subtleties in “cardigan” so special. The song is 20 seconds or so shorter than “cardigan” but feels a lot longer because of how directionless the outro is, and none of it feels like anything other than a pretty folk-pop tune (which is barely qualifies as anyway because of how ugly these acoustics are, and how meandering Taylor’s cadence is throughout). She tries out the chorus with and without the falsetto for no reason other than to extend the song by the end and it makes effectively no change to how the chorus feels like it’s delivered. I’ll give “willow” credit that it’s listenable and a lot less boring than other tracks on Evermore but I can’t see this as anything more than a failed attempt that should be met with a “game over, try again” screen. I’d accept the musical chaos of misshapen ideas if I ever felt it was genuinely warranted. On Evermore, nothing Taylor does is what the audience deserves accompanying – or maybe even improving on – Folklore. Sorry.

Conclusion

Yeah, “no body, no crime” by Taylor Swift featuring HAIM takes the Best of the Week, but it was a toss-up between her and Kid Cudi, who gets the Honourable Mention for “Show Out” with Skepta and Pop Smoke. For the Worst of the Week, it’s really picking your poison between sickly Christmas duets, but I’ll ignore them and give it to Becky Hill for absolutely butchering “Forever Young”, with a Dishonourable Mention also going to Taylor Swift and “willow”. Here’s the top 10 for this week:

You can follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more ramblings and Taylor Swift hot takes, if you’d want to see that. I won’t post another episode before the 25th so, if you’re reading this, merry Christmas, everyone, and I’ll see you on Boxing Day!