#911: snippets

[actuallyrandompersondaily]

The first time Eddie saw Buck take care of Jee-Yun, he slightly lost his mind.

It shouldn't have been a surprise. He knew Buck was good with kids — he was Christopher's best friend for a reason — and had seen Buck handling babies and toddlers plenty of times on the job. But something about seeing him with a baby that he didn't have to immediately hand off reached deep within Eddie's psyche and made it clear that yeah, he was definitely interested in guys.

Buck hadn't noticed, thank god. Eddie wasn't sure how. He didn't think he'd been particularly subtle about his reaction to the sight of a small baby cradled within Buck's (unfairly large) arms. And he definitely wasn't subtle about practically swallowing his own tongue the first time he entered the loft to find Buck rolling around the floor with her, nor the bright grin Buck had shot his way as Jee babbled a hello.

"Gotta beat Albert for that 'favourite uncle' title somehow, right?" Buck had said, still grinning, and Eddie could only nod in response.

[moonydanny]

Little fic idea I had... Maybe if you guys like it I can expand it a bit?

After Eddie drops the bomb that he’s leaving, Buck holds it together.

Honestly, he’s kinda proud of himself for that. He does help with the video call with the realtor. Helps Eddie pick a house. They have a beer after. And he holds it together.

When he goes to leave, he gets into his Jeep and starts to feel himself losing it. But he knows he has to hold it a bit longer. He’ll let go when he gets to the loft. Only he doesn’t drive to the loft. Without realizing it, he ends up in front of Tommy’s house. And he sees Tommy’s truck in the driveway, so he knows he’s home.

He sits there for a minute, two, trying to find the strength to drive away, but his resolve is crumbling, and he needs Tommy. So he walks to the door and knocks before he can change his mind.

Tommy opens the door, and the surprise is clear on his face. And god, how Buck has missed his face. 

“Hey. What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

And that’s what does it, what breaks the dam. His eyes fill with tears, and through his blurry vision he sees Tommy’s expression morph into genuine worry.

“Eddie is leaving for Texas”, he says, voice barely above a whisper, the words only just going past the lump in his throat. Tommy’s eyebrows go up in disbelief and his eyes go all soft as he looks at Buck.

“I—Tommy.”

Next thing he knows, Tommy’s arms are around him, holding him tight as a sob finally tears from deep in his chest.

[bieddiediaz]

“I thought—” Eddie gasped, eyes fluttering shut and head banging against the wall, “—you said—” another twist, another shaky breath, “—you were celibate.”

The man in front of him huffed out a laugh. “You said you were straight.” He pressed Eddie even further into the wall, if that were possible. Eddie moaned as the hand around him tightened and a thumb ran over his cockhead, his own hands gripping onto shoulders for dear life.

“I think we established—ah!—that I’m not good at letting myself have things.”

“Well,” a kiss on his throat, a tongue moving down to his clavicle, a mouth sucking on his neck. “You can let yourself have this.”

Eddie moaned again, barely able to focus on anything other than the body pressed up against his and the hand on his cock. He ran his hand down his muscular back, down a spine, gripped his ass. Hips jerked into Eddie’s, and all Eddie could see was white.

“It’s okay, Eddie. You can let go.”

It felt like sacrilege and it felt like salvation as he came, and came, and came.

[wikiangela]

wip wednesday

tagged by @theotherbuckley

hello, I need to start posting more snippets again, I have too many wips I need motivation for lol

here's my "8x11 morning after going differently fic" where im giving them the counter make out they deserve lol it uses some of the dialogue until a certain point, but then it's going how it was supposed to idc lol

(lowkey set myself a cut off point in the episode dialogue to change stuff from then on and got stuck but I rememberd I can change stuff at any point actually, who knew lol)

___

"Honestly?" Buck scans Tommy's face, leaning in slightly. He can't help his eyes falling onto his lips, that perfect cupid's bow he needs to taste again. "This was the best night I've had in this place." He smiles, feeling so light and well-rested for once, and so happy. Just, he feels right, sitting here with Tommy so close. "To be fair," Buck adds, "it's also the first night I've had in this place, but, uh, still." He licks his lips, not even hiding he's looking right at Tommy's. Craving another taste.

Buck squeezes his thighs around Tommy's hips, reaches out to wrap his arms around Tommy's neck and bringing him closer. Tommy's not protesting, his smile only growing, hands inching a little further up on Buck's thighs.

"Yeah?" Tommy tilts his head, gaze stopping on Buck's lips.

"Mhm." Buck's eyes flutter as he leans further into Tommy, their noses brushing.

"Wonder why's that." Tommy hums, and Buck laughs, shakes his head slightly, enough to not lean away from Tommy.

"I always sleep better with you next to me." Buck whispers, and hears Tommy's breath hitch before he presses his lips to Tommy's.

___

no pressure tags

@dr-shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @diazpatcher @monsterrae1 @pirrusstuff @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @diazheartsbuckley @giddyupbuck @thewolvesof1998 @underwaterninja13 @your-catfish-friend @gaytommykinard @beyourownanchor6 @weewootruck @kirkaut @quillvice @wildfluorescent @bucked-it-up @drcloyd @girlwonder-writes @dadbodbucky @loullaby @aringofsalt @actuallyitsellie @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @hyperfocusthusly @cornerofspace @tommybuckleys @romanbridgers @evansbuck-ley @champagnetommy and anyone who wants to idk <3

[trombonechurchill]

Growing Sideways

BuckTommy, 930 words, rated G

Years of therapy and reflection and clawing himself out from under the chip left on his shoulder, Tommy was still his father's son. He was not someone to trust with fragile, gentle things.

Tommy brings Buck home after he gets his wisdom teeth out. Buck, more than a little high on anesthesia, lets a few thoughts slip that throw Tommy for a loop.

Read here or on AO3

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The smile Evan gave him when Tommy finally got him situated on the couch was beatific. At least, Tommy assumed it was directed at him. Evan's eyes were glassy from the leftover sedation and it was highly possible he was smiling dreamily at the wall behind him. Or maybe Tommy's ear.

"Come on, arms in, let's get you set up," Tommy said gently, herding Evan's wayward limbs with a patient smile, fending off more than a few seeming attempts at wandering hands as he fluffed pillows and tucked the blanket more securely around Evan's knees.

"Okay, doctor said you can have your next dose of pain meds in a few hours so until then we have applesauce, soup, and that whale documentary ready to go," Tommy said, plopping himself on the cushion next to Evan and hefting up the remote. The motion seemed to dazzle Evan for a extended, gossamer moment before foggy eyes drifted back to Tommy's face (ear).

"Gosh you're amazing," Evan said with a sigh, voice fuzzy around the gauze in his cheeks.

"The feeling's mutual, you have no idea," Tommy said softly, running a palm over Evan's hair and smiling fondly as Evan pressed into the motion like a cat.

"No, no, you're so amazing," Evan said, struggling and squirming against the pillow battlements Tommy might have gone a little overboard in setting up around him, a flailing hand coming to rest with a rather enthusiastic smack on Tommy's cheek, thumb dangerously close to inserting itself into Tommy's nostril in the process.

"Thank you, Evan-" Tommy started, already moving to disentangle Evan from where he was lovingly palpitating his cheekbones.

"So amazing, you take such good care of me." Tommy was startled to see tears forming in Evan's eyes as he gushed, his fight with Evan's hand momentarily forgotten as he moved to reach for Evan's face instead.

"Shh, hey, it's okay, I love it. I love taking care of you," Tommy said, brushing a thumb feather-light over the apple of Evan's already swollen cheek.

It had maybe been a mistake as Evan returned the gesture with far less grace and Tommy had to quickly reroute a few fingers before he lost an eye, patting Evan's hand affectionately.

"Wanna make a million babies with you," Evan hiccuped, undeterred by Tommy having snagged his hand, seemingly content to simply capsize against Tommy's chest, head coming to rest against his sternum.

Tommy laughed, shifting back to petting the back of Evan's head as he continued to mumble into his chest. "Not sure that's on the cards for us biologically, babe," he told Evan gently, carding his fingers through his head.

"Take such good care of me," Evan repeated again with another sigh. "You're gonna be such a good dad."

Tommy froze.

There was no doubt Evan and kids were some sort of inevitability. You only needed to spend a moment with him to see how badly Evan wanted a family, how fatherhood would make him glow.

No one looked at Tommy and saw a father.

It had been a cold comfort when he was younger, shoving pieces of himself back into the closet, to know that at least he'd never have to worry about that. Being like his father.

Evan was still pressed against Tommy's chest, heedless of how Tommy had gone still beneath him as his body went loose and pliant. Tommy levered him gently into a move comfortable position, taking in Evan's now slack face as he arranged them both on the couch, heart in his throat. He looked totally at ease, resting on Tommy's shoulder. It was terrifying.

Years of therapy and reflection and clawing himself out from under the chip left on his shoulder, Tommy was still his father's son. He was not someone to trust with fragile, gentle things.

Tommy wrapped one of Evan's curls around his finger, watching them twine together. Evan wanted kids, a family, a place to set all the love brimming inside him. And Tommy would ruin it. Sharp words and hard edges that he could never fully file away. Tommy's neurosis couldn't be so easily childproofed.

When he'd been five, Tommy had tried to fit into his father's shoes, tie wrapped untidily around his neck like a rip cord, gait unsteady as he practiced walking with the same spine straight steps as his father did.

He'd never gotten them to fit, his father had been a large man. But Tommy had learnt how to hold his spine rigid, how to walk and move in the way everyone wanted him to whether he liked it or not.

Tommy could never do that to someone else. To some other kid with Evan's eyes and open, bleeding heart.

But even as Evan flung his arm across Tommy's stomach with a snort, Tommy knew that wasn't why the comment had made him freeze. Fight, flight, or freeze, Tommy had always been a runner. But the idea of it, of a family, with Evan. It hadn't made him want to run.

Arguably, that was a lot scarier of a thought.

Because he could see it, unspooling in front of him with the same certainty when Evan had asked him for a second chance, to come to Howie's wedding, to come back to him. Because Tommy, with all his hard edges, the need to run, to hide, he wanted to stay.

"Why don't we talk about it when you're not high on Valium," he said quietly, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of Evan's head.

Maybe some things were worth being scared for.

[tevanbegins]

Interview snippets about Bucktommy and other Buck S8 storylines (Sources: Screenrant, TVInsider)

EDIT:

More snippets from Tim Minear's interview...

(Source: TV Guide)

[salty-autistic-writer]

Tommy talks to Maddie. (Spoilers for episode 15, grief)

Evan is asleep. Finally, after hours of shaking and crying, his breaths turned even. He's curled up on his side, the pillow wet from his tears.

After a last checking glance at Evan, Tommy carefully leaves the room and gently closes the door behind him. He can’t sleep yet. His body still caught in a state between agitated disbelief and the urge to do what he can to take care of Evan in his heartbreaking grief.

When Tommy steps into the living room, he sees Maddie sitting on the couch. She nods at him, her face pale and eyes red rimmed from her own tears. While Tommy is here for Evan, she’s here for Chimney.

“How’s Buck?” Maddie asks quietly.

Tommy leans against the table. “He’s sleeping now.”

Maddie nods, sighing softly. “Chimney too. Finally. How are you doing?”

Tommy shrugs. “Right now, I’m feeling pretty numb. I haven’t been able to cry so far, even though my head feels like it might burst any moment. Maybe I won’t be able to stop crying later. I don’t know. I have no idea what will happen. Until now, I only had experience with the death of people I stopped caring about.” He falters, blinking, realising he talked an awful lot instead of answering the question with a short okay or something. “Oh. I’m sorry. I think I just overshared.”

“It’s okay. Everybody grieves differently,” Maddie states quietly, reaching for a pillow and pressing it to her chest. “Thank you,” she adds, looking up at him. “For being here for Buck. And … For helping to save Chimney. I was so scared when … when I saw him. He looked so sick. So pale. So … Close to death. If he hadn’t gotten the antiviral in time …”

She stops, twisting her fingers into the pillow, her eyes staring into the void and filling with new tears.

Tommy knows what she wanted to say. 

If it wasn’t for the antiviral, Howie would have died too.

Tommy swallows. “Howie saved my life,” he says, remembering waking up in a hospital bed, surprised by Howie’s face hovering above him, smiling and holding a sandwich. “He’s my friend. I will always be there if he needs help.”

Or anyone from the 118 really.

“I wish I could have done something to save Bobby,” Tommy admits, his chest clenching. He felt so lost when he was watching it all happen on the monitors. So helpless.

Maddie nods. “I think we all wish that,” she says, wiping at her eyes. “But no one could have helped him. He knew that. It was his choice to die like this. It was his choice to make sure his team, his family, got out of that lab alive. We have to honour it.”

“Yeah. It’s just so hard to imagine a world without Bobby Nash,” Tommy says, remembering the moment when Bobby encouraged him to transfer. I’m sad to see you go, but happy you get to chase your dream , he had said with that honest smile. And then he welcomed Evan to the 118 table. The father I never had , Evan told Tommy once. And now … that piece was torn from the world, yet it’s still turning. It’s surreal.

Maddie gives him a sad smile. “Well, we all somehow have to live in that world now,” she says, getting up and hugging him, which surprises Tommy, but also fills him with a warm glow.

“We should try to get some sleep too,” Maddie tells him. “Tomorrow is going to be tough for everyone."

She slowly leaves the room, running a hand through her hair. Tommy watches after her, his head aching. He can feel pressure behind his eyes. Maybe tomorrow he will be able to finally cry.

(AO3 Link)

[vivalafxxku]

Run to Me

Buck spent his whole life running. Running after his parents' love, running away from home, running for a place to belong, running through the academy, running to the 118, running after every pretty thing that looked his away.

He finally stopped running when he met Abby. He finally felt settled. She was it. She was supposed to be the one, so he waited.

And what a mistake that was. She left and he was left waiting.

So he's back to running. He's running after his sister, running after Ali, running through physical therapy, running from a fucking tsunami, running for Christopher, running for his job, running after Taylor, running to the hospital, running away from the hospital.

And he's so, so, so fucking tired.

He just wants to stop.

He says as much to Eddie after one too many beers.

He wants to stop running, he wants something — someone — to run to him, to stay. What was so wrong with him that he had to run after everything he wanted? Why was he always running? Chasing?

"Run to me." Is all Eddie says.

Buck blinks, choking mid-swig. "What?"

"Run one more time, run to me. Or wait for me and I'll catch up. I don't care, Evan. Just give yourself to me. I'm here if you'll have me."

(I just want someone to be chasing after Buck the way he deserves)

[actuallyrandompersondaily]

"Hey husband," Buck said, flashing Eddie a warm smile.

He felt an answering grin stretch across his face, and reached out to wrap an arm Buck's waist.

"Hey baby," he replied, leaning closer to brush a gentle kiss across Buck's lips. "Feeling ready to go back to work tomorrow?"

Buck laughed at that, relaxing into Eddie's loose hold.

"Is anyone ever ready for that?" He asked. "I'm excited to see Chris again, but I'm not ready to jump back in after two weeks of honeymooning, no."

[elvensorceress]

saturday snippet of longing and pining and being completely unaware of your own feelings! (feelings are hard, okay)

@tizniz @hippolotamus @livinginsunnyhell @eddiebabygirldiaz @spotsandsocks @thelikesofus @monsterrae1 @ronordmann @wh0rebehavi0r @epicbuddieficrecs @chaosandwolves @singitforthegirls @daffi-990 @lonelychicago @sofa-king-lame @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @blutterlie @sazanahashi @smilingbuckley @inell @bekkachaos @evaneds @rainbow-nerdss 💕

more of this 🥰

"I don’t know how anyone could not want you.”

Buck stares at him again with that piercing, soul-rending gaze that skewers directly through Eddie’s chest. But then Buck closes his eyes and shakes his head with a sardonic huff. “He’s straight. So. Doesn’t really work that way.”

Probably says something that Eddie’s first thought is, why not?

Why would it matter? Who would even care about sexuality if it were Buck offering his heart? Attraction is made up bullshit anyway. Who actually looks at someone and wants them when you know nothing about each other? Who wants to fuck just because they think someone is good looking? No one falls in love at first sight. It’s romanticized, telenovela fiction. And people lying to themselves because they’re lonely or want attention or orgasms or whatever. 

There’s a lot you can convince yourself of when you’re lonely, heartbroken, afraid you’ll die alone, afraid you’re a failure as a person, a husband, a partner. There’s a lot someone might do to be what other people want. There’s a lot that gets cut out and tucked away in order to be what you’re supposed to. 

All the more reason Eddie judges and dislikes anyone Buck dates. He’s totally justified. None of them get him and they don’t adequately appreciate him at all and Buck deserves all the love in the universe. At the very least, he deserves someone who will love him just as much and just as fiercely as Buck loves them. 

“Weren’t you ‘straight’ until Tommy?” Eddie asks. “Or— not that it was dependent on him, not that he did anything— but you thought you were straight until you realized you liked him. Right?” 

Buck looks at him, stares too hard at him for far too long and it makes goosebumps wash all over Eddie’s skin. The hair on the back of his neck prickles and swishing, churning flips through his stomach. 

“Yeah,” Buck answers quietly. “I don’t think that’s the case here though. Doesn’t matter. It’s not— It’s late. Too late. It’s really too late. We should sleep.”

Yeah. They should. Eddie has a long day of more packing to do tomorrow and another long distance tour with the realtor. Even if thoughts are whirling in his head. Too many thoughts. 

How does Buck know it’s unrequited? How does he know what he’s feeling now if he didn’t before? Did something change? How the hell would Tommy supposedly know if Buck didn’t know? 

How does Buck feel when he likes someone? 

How does anyone feel when they like someone? How do you know if you do? Is there supposed to be something you feel when you’re looking at someone beautiful? How would you know they’re beautiful if all you know about them is how they look? 

How do you feel anything for someone? Especially if you don’t know them? People say sex is better with someone you love, but is that more romanticized bullshit? Probably. Sex is overrated honestly. It’s fine. Mostly. Just. Not what everyone seems to say it is. Nothing earth shattering or life changing. Nothing all that intimate either. Not technically. It’s just distant, avoidant, using each other for a moment of relief. He and Shannon did it so they didn’t have to talk. When they didn’t want to talk or actually be close. They didn’t have to go on dates or bare their souls or anything. They could just take off some clothes. 

Isn’t that what everyone does? Isn’t that the difference between dating someone versus being friends with them? 

Is it supposed to be different? Is that why people like sex? Because it’s different for them? 

Does anyone actually feel the kinds of intense, fervent, passionate emotions that people make up stories about? Isn’t romance just another fantasy? Like fairy tale magic and otherworldly phenomena? Like dragons and unicorns and mythical creatures? It’s a nice fantasy, but still a fantasy. None of it is real. 

Love isn’t sex or attraction or beautiful people being beautiful. None of that is love. 

Love is sacrifice. Connection. It’s blood and battle and being torn apart. Giving up everything because there’s no alternative. Because you’re not whole anymore without the person you love. They’re part of you. So losing them is losing yourself. 

Is that all love is? Loss? 

Eddie reaches out and holds onto Buck’s shoulder. They should sleep. He’s tired, too. But there’s heaviness in his chest and a swirl of despair whirlpooling inside him. It’s small now, but it’s been growing and he needs to hold onto Buck. 

When it’s not enough to just grip his shoulder, Eddie lets his hand slide down until it’s again resting on Buck’s chest and he can gently rub back and forth a few times. He hopes it’s comforting. He hopes Buck knows he’s not alone. Eddie won’t let him be alone. Someone will love Buck the way he should be. 

A wave of envious aching crashes through Eddie’s chest and he swallows hard. Buck should be loved. Buck is loved. Maybe not the way he wants. But Eddie loves him. Every beat, every breath, every single shred of his soul holds love for Buck. It might not be enough, but it is there. Eddie would love him until Buck finds someone he wants who loves him properly. 

Eddie would love him after that, too. Even when Buck is happy and settled and doesn’t need him anymore. 

Buck takes Eddie’s hand and holds it tightly as he closes his eyes. He doesn’t turn back around. And he doesn’t let go. 

Eddie just wants to inch closer and hold tighter. 

There’s something faded, slipping away like tides and wet sand through his fingers. 

Why can’t he keep this?

Why can’t this be the answer? Why can’t Eddie love him the way he wants? Why can’t Buck love Eddie this way? Why can’t they be in love with each other? 

[moonydanny]

Another little fic idea, I hope you like it... Should I expand it?

After they get back together, Tommy really tries to be more open.

Evan had told him—and damn if neither of them had actually noticed back then—that he’d realized that he’d been so pleasantly thrown by how attentive Tommy was, how nice it felt to be doted on after always being the one who doted on others, that he had neglected to do the same in return for Tommy.

And Tommy, well... Tommy loved doting on Evan so much that it never seemed like a priority to ask for what he needed (which, to be fair, most of the time what he needed was to take care of Evan). So one of the promises he’d made to Evan during that long and hard conversation that led to them getting back together was to let Evan take care of him too, and to ask for what he needed. 

And Tommy was really trying. 

So one evening, he gets home to Evan making dinner in the kitchen, and his shift was so incredibly gruelling he feels hollow. He drops his duffel, toes off his boots by the door, and beelines to where Evan is in front of the stove to plaster himself to his boyfriends back.

“Hey, baby. Dinner’s almost ready.”

Tommy hums and just tightens his arms around Evan’s middle. Evan must sense something in Tommy because he turns off the burner and turns in Tommy’s arms and looks at him with those beautiful, earnest eyes.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

And Tommy feels the lump he’s had in his throat since getting back to Harbor from that last rescue getting bigger. 

“What do you need, Tommy?” Evan says it so sweetly, with so much love, and Tommy’s eyes fill with tears.

“Can you—Can you just hold me for a second?” 

“Of course. Come here. I’ve got you.”

They end up lying on the couch, Tommy half on top of Evan, with his head on his chest and Evans arms tight around him. And he let’s himself break apart. He’s never liked crying in front of people, but with Evan, he feels safe.

After a while, when he’s calmed down a bit, he tells Evan about the rescue that had gone wrong. About the kid that had escaped from home after yet another beating from his dad, and how he’d ended up on the side of a cliff and hadn’t made it to the hospital. 

He thanks Evan, for comforting him. 

“Thank you for asking for what you needed, baby. I’m so proud of you.”

And if Tommy sheds a few more tears after hearing his Evan say that to him, well. He’s safe to do so. 

[bigfootsmom]

Tease tidbit Tuesday

I was tagged by the lovely and talented @loserdiaz, @devirnis, @smallandalmosthonest, @tizniz, @bidisasterevankinard

I have….started a new au. Girl dads bucktommy with transmasc buck getting to be a seahorse dad so content warning for trans pregnancy and mentions of labor. this au has bewitched me body and soul and I’m dragging @try-set-me-on-fire down with me <3 <3 so here’s a doodle of happy dads with their fresh baby (Bobby took the picture)

And a snippet! :3

When Eddie grabs Tommy by the crook of his good elbow, Tommy falters. He feels off balance, his stomach swooping and head spinning as he tries to keep up with Eddie’s rapid pace. “Eddie— wait, wait— what’s going on?”

Eddie stops, staring at Tommy before his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “You don’t know? Fuck— of course you don’t know, shit.” Eddie smacks his forehead with the heel of his hand.

“Don’t know what?” Tommy can feel his stomach sinking, “Eddie, what don’t I know?”

“Buck is here at the hospital. He’s in labor.”

It feels like the world shifts under Tommy’s feet and no amount of hospital grippy socks will keep him from falling. He sucks in a shuddering breath, and then another when it feels like the first one doesn’t ever reach his lungs.

“Wh–what? But, but he was fine– he wasn’t–” The backs of Tommy’s knees hit the edge of the bed and he sways, only his white knuckle grip on the bed rail keeps him from crashing backward. His next breath comes in too quick, whistling between his teeth as his vision tunnels.

Tags <3

@usersiren, @honestlydarkprincess, @swiftietartt, @holdmygum, @morganofthefairies

@underwaterninja13, @father-salmon, @giddyupbuck, @monsterrae1, @bibuddie

@princessfbi, @mellaithwen, @homerforsure, @bisexual-buck, @maygrantgf

@boykisserbuckley, @loveyouanyway, @watchyourbuck, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @shyaudacity

And YOU if you’re reading this and want to post <3

[wikiangela]

tease tidbit tuesday

hiii, I haven't done one of these in a whiiile omg

i was very focused on winterfest but im back to my regular wips now, and there's a few 8x11 fics in the works - first, bucktommy 8x11 phone call lol

___

“God, Evan, you’re so adorable.”

[...]

"You still think so?" Buck asks teasingly, but his voice wavers and he bites his lip hard. He wants to thread carefully, this conversation feels big, like if he messes this up, he might never get another opportunity to fix it. And damn it, he wants to fix it.

"Yeah, of course. Why would that change?" Tommy asks so casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, a lot changed. I just assumed." Buck shrugs, even though Tommy can't see him.

"Hm." Tommy hums. "Maybe we both should stop assuming so much," he mutters quietly, almost under his breath, so quiet that if they weren't in silent rooms and his voice wasn't directly in Buck's ear, he might've missed it.

"Is that our problem? Assuming?" Buck flips onto his side, his phone between his cheek and his pillow. He feels restless. He wishes he could curl up under Tommy's arm, press his cheek to Tommy's chest, feel his heartbeat. He misses that so much.

___

no pressure tags (copying from the last one I did, if you want to be added or removed, pls lmk):

@dr-shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @diazpatcher @monsterrae1 @pirrusstuff @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @diazheartsbuckley @giddyupbuck @thewolvesof1998 @underwaterninja13 @your-catfish-friend @gaytommykinard @beyourownanchor6 @weewootruck @kirkaut @quillvice @doctorkinney @bucked-it-up @theotherbuckley @drcloyd @girlwonder-writes @dadbodbucky @loullaby @aringofsalt @actuallyitsellie @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @hyperfocusthusly @talktonytome @cornerofspace @tommybuckleys @kinard-buckley and anyone who wants to idk <3

[setmeatopthepyre]

Hostage [@118dailydrabble day 41] [part of antarct-fic | bucktommy | 118 words] [precedes this]

Lucy likes Tommy, she really does. He's a good guy, an excellent pilot. His gallows humor plays well with hers. Even better, he never objects to a risky rappel, encourages it, in fact, if it means he gets to try an obscure maneuver with a name like aft skid cobra. He holds his own at karaoke.

The problem is that Tommy is also a dramatic son of a bitch who would rather eat glass than admit he's struggling.

...unless he's had a drink or two.

Hungry Heart appears in the up next-box on screen. Lucy lunges.

She gets his arm. “Aaand you're done holding everyone hostage with Springsteen. Time to talk about feelings like a grown-up. C'mon.”

-

this drabble was made possible by @frogsinflannel (for sending me the kindest message ever and reminding me how fun writing tommy+lucy banter is) and @rcmclachlan's tommy is batshit insane actually post (that is 100% canon to me)

[buddieisgoingcanon25]

OMFG. What could this mean? Especially putting the quote with that Buddie pic…

[livesincerely]

Eddie leaves and Buck bites his lip until it’s bloody, holding back every single question that wants to burst out of him.

Doesn’t ask if he’s gotten any offers on his house here in LA, if there’s already a new family waiting to move their things into all the nooks and crannies he knows like the back of his hand. Doesn’t ask if Eddie’s already been assigned a station in El Paso, or if he’ll be on the roster as a floater, or if he’s going to take the opportunity to work on his Paramedic Certification.

Doesn’t ask him if he’s really, definitely, absolutely sure about this.

Because he’s learned—finally, finally, learned, like that saying about dogs and tricks, like a number that’s finally up, like seven years of borrowed time that’s finally run out—that it’s not his place to ask.

Maybe it’s for the best, since he’s not sure he can bear to hear the answers.

Instead he plasters on a smile and tells him to drive safe.

“I’ll call you when I get to the hotel for the night,” Eddie says.

Will you? Buck wants to ask.

Don’t, he thinks. Don’t drag this out. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.

Call me when you cross the state line, he wants to plead. Call me at every gas station and drive-thru, call me every hour, call me the moment you pull away from the curb and just leave me on speaker the entire way. We don’t even have to talk, I’ll just listen to your terrible oldies playlist in the background and the whisper of your breath and pretend I’m sitting there with you.

Block my number, he begs. Block my number because I’ll never be able to block yours, and I don’t know how to let you go without a clean break. Maybe not even then.

“Sure,” he responds aloud.

He can’t resist one last hug, but he makes himself pull away first. Lets himself wave goodbye but doesn’t stay to watch Eddie’s tail lights fade as he turns the corner.

He doesn’t turn back to look, no matter how much he wants to.

Eddie leaves.

Eddie’s gone.

And Buck bends at the waist and hurls directly into the bushes in front of Eddie’s house.

No, Eddie’s old house. Eddie’s old house, from Eddie’s old life.

The thought almost doesn’t hurt, funnily enough: like tissue so scarred that the nerves don’t register pain anymore.

Numb and sensationless.

Buck wipes his mouth. Takes a shuddering breath.

He’s always known that Eddie isn’t someone he’s allowed to have, allowed to keep. He knows he has to let him go.

So he does.

And whether Eddie knows it or not, Buck’s heart goes with him.