99 Bad, 1 Good: Jeonghan
You could think of the many reasons why they were bad for you, toxic, deadly, harmful. But why was the one good reason enough for you to stay?
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warnings: i went slightly easier w the angst and tried to make it slightly fluffy at the end. just to make it up for the hard angst im uploading later :)))!!!! happy bday my angel + devil!!!!
His smile that’s alluring in the best and worst ways possible. How can someone master being an angel and a devil so easily?
His hair that he always runs his fingers in, the movement hypnotizing you
His innocent giggle with mischievous undertones
When he uses his giggle to get himself out of anything
“Jeonghan, why aren’t the dishes clean?” “I don’t know *giggles*”
How you love the way he laughs that you begrudgingly always let him get away with it
When he crashes at your place out of the blue
“Because your bed is comfier” is his constant answer
How he always misses your appointments bc he was busy napping
How he naps e v e r y w h e r e
On your bed
On your couch
On your kitchen counter
In your car
On your backpack
On your shoulder
How he could get ten hours of sleep and still wouldn’t be able to get up on time
When he senses your downcast expression and moves in to hug you
Either a back hug but his arms are around your shoulders rather than your waist, or a bear hug
When he softly kisses your head and pats your back saying that things will be okay
How you would be sitting and doing your own thing when he abruptly shows up and puts his head on your lap
“What are you doing?!”
He would close his eyes, his arm slung over his eyes
A slow sad smile would creep on his beautiful face and the only words he would say are, “it’s been a long day”
How you instantly feel bad after studying his slow breathing and the way he wouldn’t be as talkative as usual
So you let him use your lap as a pillow and don’t question it for the rest of the day
When he uses aegyo
For literally anything
“You have to clean up!”
“Aaah~~~ but you wouldn’t let me do that after such a tiring day, right??~~~”
“That’s too expensive, Jeonghan….”
“I’ll treat you to dinner afterwards at your favorite restaurant~~~”
How you’re lowkey really weak for his aegyo
How he’s just so protective
And bombard you with questions about who you were talking to
“That was the TA in my class, aka the person who grades my papers”
“Um you were too close :/”
When he casually links your arms together or even sometimes holds your hand
When you’re nowhere close to being together
When he would just smile and say he wants to show you he cares about you
And you curse yourself for allowing him bc it just gives you false hope
How he would always steal a piece of your food whenever you’re not looking
His sheepish grin every time you glare at him with your food in his mouth
How he relentlessly teases you whenever you have even the slightest crush on someone
And then when he sees you smile really widely he gets all pouty
“But i’m practically your boyfriend from all the time we spend together!!”
And all you do is sigh and hit him playfully
When he needs you to cover a shift for him
But you can’t say anything about it bc this boy goes all out to make it up to you
The way he laughs so carefreely with the windows down and the wind in his hair
The way he always whines at parties and wants to go home to sleep
The way he insists on having study dates and then ends up distracting you 80% of the time
When he invites you over to play video games
And demolishes you at all of them
But he would let you win if you’re pouty enough
The way he’s leaning towards you too close for comfort when you play games
To the point where he’s pushing your body to the side and you’re leaning the opposite way too much
The way his entire persona would light up as soon as you walk into the room
When he goes to you for girl advice
And you can’t help but feel a pang in your chest
But all you do is muster up your best smile and give him pointers
When he smiles after you do and hugs you tight
When he thanks you for helping him
When he suddenly calls you up randomly late at night
When he tries again. And again.
How excited and giddy he sounds when you finally pick up after scolding you for not picking up sooner
How you should have been happy when he told you she said yes
And you were grateful he couldn’t see your face at the time
When you felt the bitterness leaving your mouth as you congratulated him
When you found out it was someone who only liked him after he cut his hair to look “more masculine”
How you always saw them from afar doing cute things
Holding hands, holding each other close, innocent forehead kisses…
When your heart broke even more as he noticed you and instantly waves to you
The way he treasured his partner but you didn’t see her reciprocating nearly half of what he was
How his entire persona would light up when she walked into the room
The way he doesn’t know why your mood always declines every time she’s there
Or the way you seem to be more down lately
He’s just utterly hopeless
And hopelessly in love
But you didn’t have the heart to say anything
When he slowly stopped talking to you as often as their relationship progressed
How you pathetically waited for a text, any text but never getting one
How as a month had passed he hadn’t spared you the slightest bit of attention
When he finally stood on your porch about two months later in the pouring rain
And you couldn’t tell whether the redness of his eyes and his drenched face were his sensitivity from the storm or the release of his tears he’s never wanted you to see
How before you could even finish asking what he was doing here, he stepped closer to you and embraced you so tightly his wet clothes were seeping into yours
How even though you were all kinds of upset at him, it all melted away when you saw and actually felt his shoulders shake
How you had to swallow your bias and comfort him when he said she ended it
How you would let him mourn around you for weeks
How when he finally did show signs of moving on, he started to get detached again
When he tried to keep his feelings in check the day you both graduated months later
How he bear hugged you again with melancholy and sorrow painted on his features
When you cleaned out your bag one day and saw an envelope addressed to you in very familiar handwriting
When you opened it up, it said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t do it in person. You deserve better.”
And you try calling him but to no avail
A little folded picture falls out and it’s of you and him playing video games
“You may have lost the game, but you won my heart a long time ago”
When the next time you run into him, he’s sitting calmly in the corner of the cafe you went together in your college days
He freezes and slowly stands up as you approach him
“You’re right. I do deserve better. So confess properly now.”
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