#A LOT. A LOTTTT

[anyataylorjoys]

start showing female and/or smaller body types in men's clothing on websites for comparison. better yet, stop advertising t-shirts as "mens fit" or "women's fit" and start making more clothing lines universal and genderless. start producing "men's" shoes in sizes for smaller feet so women and nb people who wear a size 7 shoe and under in "women's" can actually fucking wear them!! these dumbass companies would benefit from being more inclusive because they'd make a whole hell of a lot more sales. I am so sick of being forced to shop in the women's section for shoes when I'm looking for something unisex styled because women's shoes are NOT unisex in style most of the time and lets be honest, men's shoes are made sturdier. god forbid small women (and genderqueer people) want a solid-made tactical boot and not some 2 cent sweatshop h&m heeled garbage that breaks after a single wear.

it's so eternally annoying to me that men's clothing (including shoes) can be considered the most universally genderless and yet, the sizing is exclusive to what is ~typical~ while it's so hard to find women's clothes that can be considered "genderless". every shoe has a heel, every shirt is cropped or has restrictive sleeves.

Women: you can dress like this and this only! No dykes allowed!

[turtleblogatlast]

“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo

[blindmagdalena]

thoughts on ep 4?

ohhhh man this is gonna be really long and disjointed because i just finished the episode. i'm just gonna be focused on the homelander stuff here bc i feel like that's what we're all here for lol

the energy he brought to that whole situation gave me the most intense anxiety. i feel like not even he was entirely sure how all of that was going to go down, but as soon as he was there, all these memories that he had repressed started flooding to the surface. obviously his relationship with Ryan is causing a lot of his trauma to come to the forefront, and this is the culmination of that.

i think what caught me the most off guard was how run down the place looked. a concrete basement with shoddy computers and post-its everywhere. a bunch of techs. it was so small, and yet it's like homelander said. it was a lot bigger when he was a child.

it was their day job. it was his whole world.

that very first moment when Marty calls him John, and he corrects "Homelander," in that boyish voice, i almost burst into tears.

the moment where he's staring at the incinerator made me feel ill for him. i already knew what was coming, and it didn't disappoint.

"I had nightmares about that exact moment, and you can't even remember it."

i had chills throughout this entire scene. it was such a succinct way to lay out how dehumanized he was his entire life. that so many people stood by and were so desensitized to his torture. they tuned out his screams entirely and played little games to pass the time. all while he watched.

this time, when Marty calls him John, there's no quiver in his voice. "Homelander," he corrects firmly, smile tight and closed. direct eye contact, waiting for a challenge. but they won't. he knows no one will stop him. not just because they can't... but because they simply won't. they wouldn't save a child. why would they save Frank?

"You're sorry? Now?"

this whole scene is such an interesting parallel to his conversation with Vogelbaum in s1, where he asks, "You want forgiveness? Now?"

something he rightfully denied Vogelbaum. in this instance, however, we see Homelander enacting his vengeance and giving that forgiveness... but only once they're dead. only once they'd paid his price. once they've suffered as he did. I forgive you.

the only time anyone expresses remorse for what they've done to him is when they're faced with it. when the regret eats away at them not for the harm they caused, but the damage done to the world, or to their own safety.

immediately following that, we see him call Marty over and not just apologize, but very specifically he asks, "Can you forgive me?"

it's perfect foreshadowing for what he's about to do to him. can he forgive the same thing Homelander is about to?

the scene that follows is so profoundly uncomfortable i had a lot of trouble watching. the reality of Homelander's life and teenage years is something that we as a fandom have always been very cognizant of, but seeing it addressed so plainly on screen was both nightmarish and vindicating.

i remember being really squicked out by his comment regarding Ryan getting Zoe pregnant, but it makes total sense that raising Ryan is bringing a lot of his own childhood sexual trauma to the surface. there's SO MUCH to be addressed here that it could be it's own post. but what's great is when Homelander calls an end to it: it's the moment Marty says he's sorry.

"I forgive you, Marty."

this is all about Homelander accepting what happened to him. facing it and the people who were part of it head on.

speaking of...

BARBARA. i know she's public enemy #1 right now, and rightfully so, but i found her so profoundly interesting. did she know Homelander was there? she didn't seem surprised at all. why would she come without backup? how did they even contact her with everything shut down? i don't know, but whatever the case, i really got the impression she already knew what she was walking into. she made a real attempt to get Homelander away from the other scientists, but he wasn't going to be swayed. they were already doomed.

she antagonized him. They were just doing what I told them. It's not their fault. It's mine. Leave them alone.

it's very apparent to me that among his fractured personalities, she represents the kinder motherly one. she, like Stan Edgar and Vogelbaum, are elevated above the other scientists. she's a figure of authority and she spoke to him as such.

"They were scared."

"I was a child."

"They were scared!"

and he does recoil at that. we KNOW Homelander hates being feared. it was his trigger with Madelyn, it's what kept him from lasering that crowd, and it's a blatant, desperate lie when he says to Starlight, "...being feared is a-one okie doke by me."

"Everyone was terrified of you from your first breath."

she breaks his heart a hundred times in this scene. from the reveal that he killed his mother in the same way Vogelbaum told him his son did—the source of that lie?—to the statement that their greatest success was making him obedient by withholding love. by turning his heart into a pit of need.

a sharp juxtaposition to Vogelbaum's You're my greatest failure.

and then she says to him no matter what you do, you will always be human.

here's the thing about Homelander's humanity. he doesn't associate it with kindness or love. he associates humanity with all the worst things that have ever happened to him. cruelty. selfishness. betrayal. his entire life he's been used and abused by the people who were supposed to protect him.

of course he doesn't want to be human. doesn't want his SON to be human. look at what humans have done to him. they're vile, they're vicious, they're dirty.

in another life, that desire could have been his drive to be good. if he'd only had a single fucking example of it.

"I'm not human. And neither is my son. And I'm gonna raise him so that he knows it."

in other words, he'll raise his son the way they failed to raise him. Homelander wants desperately to raise his son with the love he never had. he just doesn't know how to.

ultimately, like Vogelbaum and Stan, Homelander can't bring himself to kill her. he tears apart the people she tried to save, and he leaves her to stew in her own fucking mess.

[menlove]

Do you know what to make of john and cyns relationship?

to meeeeee it reads very much as a "oh shit gotta get married because of the baby" comphet situation. for john especially, but cyn too even though she's straight. there's just this expectation for women to get married and life for single mothers is already hell but back then it was soooo so much worse. i mean she even said in her book that it wasn't really like a real marriage in those early days & i think about that a lot. i think obviously there was a lot of love there, but i don't think john was sexually attracted to her (or even romantically, really- he OBSESSED over her in the beginning but that's a different thing entirely).

and then of course there's the fact that he hit her when they were younger (whether or not he Continued to hit her is a question i'm not qualified to answer lmao it depends on how much you believe her saying that he only hit her the once vs his general violent behavior towards both men & women in his life) & even if he hadn't he was a shit husband & father who was not around. and when he was around he was getting high and isolating. i think that was probably an INCREDIBLY difficult period for her & i am very glad they got divorced bc both her and julian deserved a lot better than what he was giving & there's 0 excuse for the way he behaved towards them

honestly to me it just reads as a tale as old as time that most people watched their own mothers go through. woman marries a shitty man bc she got pregnant or felt societal pressure to marry, man is abusive in some way & falls into substance abuse, man is closeted as fuck and takes it out on other people, kid winds up in the crossfire of the whole thing.... it's just. well. it's a depressing relationship and it's one i've seen time and time again in real life. but she did love him. a lot. still did up until she died. unfortunately i don't think he gave like even half as much of a fuck about her as she gave about him.

[hydrasango]

infeced drollingz

[hood-ex]

Honestly amazing to me that fic crossovers between the same characters from different universes aren't more popular in our fandom. Like where's a fic where main universe Dick, Talon Dick, Earth 3 Dick, and Dark Knights of Steel Dick all end up in the same universe and have to work together?

[jabeur]

all the wta singles matches in a slam being during the day is evil many people have jobs and why would i spend my evening watching a domestic abuser instead of paolini rybakina

[ruvviks]

would people be interested if i like. wrote up a timeline for the cyberpunk extended blorboverse to quickly bring you guys up to date (sorta) with what's going on in there. i know i still have to finish the powerpoint AND the wiki but i feel like typing out a timeline is. a lot quicker

[juney-blues]

if i hear another person talk about a retro game, system, or computer having a specific "soundfont" i think i'm gonna lose all will to live and spontaneously drop dead in front of them

[mcnuggyy]

ugh trying to prepare myself for the worst possible outcome in terms of my immigration process at this point cause it’s been nothing but bumpy, long, and tedious and ofc I already knew it would be this way… it took my grandparents over 12 years for their documents to get approved but it only took 6 months for my parents… like man!!!! I thought it would be just a little easier than this 😭

to keep things short… a document I need to improve my application will not get to me til August. And my flight to return is in a week… and I NEED to get my application submitted before I return…. So… looks like I’m going to have to stay with my parents longer… unless they decide to move forward without the joint bill… but I doubt it ough!!!! 😞

[eskawrites]

Director's commentary:

CFDAU: “Aren’t you sick of lying?”

Was this always the line? Did you try other things or was it always going to be this? I know you must have had this scene in your mind for so long writing this fic (or did you write this scene earlier?), like, its THE scene. And this line hits so hard. I just want you to talk about it. If you want. (the line specifically but also the scene and also of course anything else you want to say)

i love questions like this because it forces me to go back through my original cfdau notes and that's always a trip

so i'm not sure exactly when that scene itself became a thing, because actually originally robin and nancy did not have that long of an affair, and they were mostly just fooling around occasionally up until the cast reunion in 1997 but then cfdau nancy went and got extremely soft on me so their relationship became a lot more intense and started a lot sooner

but that changed pretty early on in the process, i think before i even started seriously writing the fic. and in my original timeline notes that scene is there and very similar to what ended up in the fic:

And it’s harder, lying to Nancy. Even before Nancy starts giving her a terribly knowing look. she doesn’t think she’s convinced her, but Nancy does start to leave. Until she doesn’t, and she pauses in the doorway, turns enough that Robin can see her brow crease with a thought she’s so clearly weighing. Robin studies every detail of her face, knowing that whatever happens next will be one of those heartstopping, rushing moments that changes everything. Nancy opens her mouth, looks up to lock eyes with Robin, and says, “Aren’t you sick of lying?” And Robin freezes. “Steve and I—” “No, not Steve. Just you. Do you ever get sick of the lie?” And her eyes are burning, and Robin can’t look away. She finds an answer spilling out of her before she can second guess what Nancy means. “It’s not like I can do anything with the truth.” “What if you could?” “Nancy?” “Is it safe here?” “What are you—?” “Is it safe here.” Robin swallows. “Forty stories up. The doorman is great. We’ve never once had a problem here.” And Nancy moves closer with every sentence Robin says until she’s so close they nearly brush with every shaky breath. “I’m sick of it, too.” Robin closes her eyes until Nancy’s hand is on her cheek, small and strong and cool. “Nance,” Robin breathes. “I don’t want to lie anymore,” Nancy whispers. “I want honesty, even if it’s just for tonight.” And she stands on her toes, hovering an inch away, eyes searching Robin’s. So Robin kisses her.

it's definitely one of those scenes that just came together so immediately and instinctively. but what's interesting is that i never thought that line specifically would be what got everyone's attention. i obviously knew that scene was going to be big--it's a huge turning point, the start of a new act in the fic, and it's the moment that so much of the story builds up to. but in my mind, originally, the peak of that buildup was the kiss itself.

i don't really think that's true anymore. that line really is the turning point in and of itself. this story really is just an exploration of lying--why and how we lie, who we lie to, when lying is good and when it's bad and when it doesn't matter if it's good or bad because it's just plain necessary. so nancy calling it out so directly becomes the actual moment when she and robin finally collide after so many years resisting: when they both decide they can't lie anymore.

that's also why i ended up writing that scene out in the nancy pov, even though i was afraid to touch it again from a different perspective and not have it live up to the original. but 'aren't you sick of lying' is just as important to nancy as it is to robin. it's her own admission, her own breaking point, and i realized while writing nancy's pov that that one line is more important and more consequential than finally letting herself kiss robin. which is wild, because kissing robin is a very important thing that has haunted her for a very long time!

anyway long story short 'aren't you sick of lying' has been in there for a very long time. it was one of the earliest, clearest iterations of what this story was actually about, and the rest of the fic sort of evolved to make that moment as meaningful and impactful as it is

[wowa-bublord]

guys are there any other roche/johnny ship artists out there. im screaming into the void. any fics or fanart or anything. PLEASE ITS SO DARK IN HERE PLE

[shopcat]

i love that the aizawa we get in canon is already an incredibly inwardly kind/outwardly passive about it older adult figure (if not paternal figure to be honest ALREADY like a lot of the time people say that and it's just some guy who happens to hang around people younger than him but i will acquieisisise on this one) who has a foster daughter he takes care of + one mentee who he imprinted on like the opposite of a duckling situation he was just like i'm taking this kid and teaching him to kill people with his minddddd Plus this crazy weapon i gave him. and then on top of that literally two whole friends who he pretends he hates.

and then everyone was like YEPPPPP you're actually gay married undercover to that guy and the kid you mentor doesn't have parents because he's a minor character so they haven't been invented yet which means he's your son now too and you've got a couple cats as well because what the hell am i right. congratulations ☺️. it's like the only time i've seen a fandom hc situation that actually just expands on the stuff that is already there in the funniest way possible. from shabby teacher to married 10+ years and two kids good for you buddy.

[niko1neeks]

OC alert

greek mythology based, if you cant tell ermmm

i love them they are very dear to me

[bells-n-doodles]

For the oc asks thing: 19 and 28? :D

Okay this actually took so long to answer because I never had time to formulate one LOLLLLL

BUT HOLY SHIT JHDASHKGDASHJGDSWJHGJHDWSG THANK YOU FOR ASKKKK

this is gonna be long so under the cut we go

#19

These two! Zalene and Bilu!! (Bilu on the left, Zalene on the right) They’re two of the main characters in my original story The Linking Gardens and I love them sooooooo much they’re amazing

They’re kind of my comfort characters as well as some of my favorite characters I’ve ever made and they’re just amazing and I don’t know what else to say

Ive also drawn them a lot. For a long time. (They’re 3 years old by now)

#28

HER.

This is Artemis, aka my most mentally unstable OC. Driven to her goals no matter what and with the curse/gift of feeling everyone’s emotions constantly, she ends up going insane and being locked inside of this weird…prison crystal thing… for eternity. Then she gets out. After being subjected to sensory deprivation for 8 years. She’s just fucking insane. She will attack everyone in sight. She’s fun.

she also has like… the highest kill count and ruining people’s lives count out of all of my ocs.

she’s also a comfort OC in regard to her intense empathy, which is something I also have :/

but yeah!! I love her, and she’s also really scary! 🥳

[karda]

well it's what gets them views (in regards to the mindless same content youtubers). like i feel like there's a bunch who do want to try new things but because that's their main form of income or whatever they don't want to risk it and there's other youtubers don't care as long as they're getting the views there's a youtuber i used to watch who got like millions of views on her old stuff but she started branching out into shit she was actually interested in doing and making and lost a ton - like she's now getting like 1.7k views max per video there's also those people who - i dunno how to describe this without giving examples - like a bunch of uni vlog youtubers who also lose all their content when they graduate and try to still like make relatable university and study and school videos when that's not something they're doing anymore? like, their content was situational but the situation changed but the viewers liked the old situation so they're trying to...imitate it even if that's not the case anymore and it's kinda weird cos it's like...why are you pretending to go to school when you've left it? there's a trick to it i guess, balancing what you like with what viewers like and yeah it is frustrating to just see the same things over and over again. idk just thoughts lol

oh yeah 100% . a lot of youtubers get stuck with a niche and get pretty repetitive. those arent really the ones im talking about, even though it is strange when someone does school videos when theyre not in school. im more talking about like big commentary youtubers, they talk in circles. one making a video and then three more making the same thing. like imallexx and all his friends