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spooniemumoftwo · 5 years ago

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This is me!

Have you ever heard of ME CFS? Do you know anyone with ME CFS? Have you ever heard the phrase ‘counting spoons’?

Having read a huge number of blog posts on ME CFS over the past few years, this is my own answer to some of these questions. Please bear with me – this has been a work in progress for a while now.

Me – Could I have M.E?

As a teenager, and even recently, I never imagined that I would find myself writing about my experiences of life with a chronic illness, and yet, here I am. I am 33 years of age, a wife and mother to two beautiful children, and I have a diagnosis of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME CFS).

Over the past few years, I have come to realise that ME CFS is something you can’t fully understand or describe to someone unless you have the experience of this debilitating illness yourself.

Where do I start?

Over the last three years, there have been ups and downs; life has been interesting, and the learning curve I have found myself travelling on has been almost vertical at times. I am not there yet.

Back in Summer 2017, I woke one morning to find I had no voice at all. This was unusual for me but not the first time it had happened. Things had been busy and a little fraught with two small children, whilst I was also working almost full time, so I thought nothing of it. I now suspect, as do the consultants I have spoken to since, that this was my body’s way of fighting the Chicken Pox virus, as my youngest came down with Chicken Pox two weeks after I first lost my voice. A week without my voice went by, writing notes for my husband to ignore as he felt appropriate, and giving my children 'the look' instead of telling them what I was thinking, and I spoke to my GP who diagnosed me with Acute Viral Laryngitis, and prescribed me three weeks off work and TOTAL voice rest, much to my husband’s delight and amusement. Three weeks later I returned to work, having slept all day for at least two of the three weeks I’d had off work. I was shattered. I never imagined returning to work after only three weeks off would be that tiring, but I did it. I underwent a further six months of speech and language therapy sessions (ironic considering my own role as a speech and language therapist) to help me work on my returning voice and my worryingly limited breath support, something I had only noticed since losing my voice.

Nearly twelve months on, in April 2018, I found myself signed off work again, this time with suspected Labyrinthitis. I experienced dizziness on and off, and again, I slept for most of the time I was off work. I was finding it hard to put sentences together, and felt like my whole body was being held down by a weighted blanket. Three weeks off work again and then I returned to work and my usual routine, with a promise to myself to take things easier this time. The dizziness continued but not enough for me to be off work, so a referral to a cardiologist followed to check it was nothing cardiology related. A 24 hour ECG followed by a 32 day ECG test demonstrated nothing significant, and therefore this was put down as yet another symptom I had no answers or reasons for.

By August 2018, I realised I had spent the majority of the summer term in schools telling myself ‘if I can make it to the summer holidays, I will be okay’ and yet, there I was, at the start of the summer holidays, and I hadn’t allowed myself to slow down at all. I have always, even as a pre-teen and a teenager, worked towards the school holidays, and continue to do so as an adult. I recall, as a teenager, regularly sleeping for the first one or two days of a school holiday, or suffering with a cold and feeling generally unwell for the first few days after allowing myself to slow down or to relax, and yet, here I was, putting the same pressure on myself as I always had. This time, however, I did not allow myself to rest. I knew what would happen if I did.

August 2018 saw me celebrating my own mini achievements regarding my engagement in a Couch to 5K running programme. I have never been sporty, and running was my least favourite exercise. However, for some reason, in 2018, I decided I was going to make myself enjoy running! I soon found running gave me time to myself with my thoughts, (unless accompanied by one of my chatty little people who often wanted to go with Mummy on a run) and running was my 'me time'. I managed to complete my first ever continuous 20 minute run in the middle of August, a very small achievement for many, however for me this was huge! I was becoming a runner, or so I thought. I only ran once more that month, and haven't managed a run since…

The summer holidays passed by and at the end of August, we celebrated my eldest child’s 5th birthday. I will never forget the call we received first thing that morning, to tell us that my grandfather had sadly passed away in the early hours of the morning. On my daughter’s birthday. I held myself together and threw all of my energy into celebrating my daughter’s special day. I was heart broken, and yet, as always, my children came first, and always will. The day after, we hosted a party for our daughter as we had planned. I could think of any number of places I would rather be, than hosting a children’s party, but for my children, ensuring they were happy, and maintaining the usual normality, especially things they had looked forward to, was essential. After we had cleared up, and the children had been put to bed, revelling in the excitement of the day, I took myself off to the gym, and pushed myself to run as far as I could. I managed a 35 minute continuous run, telling myself “it was just for you, Grandad!'’ I was exhausted, mentally and physically. Running had allowed me time to myself to clear my head and my thoughts on many occasions prior to this, however that night, I was broken. I could do no more. My head hurt, my legs hurt, even my breathing was draining me. I was done.

Two days later, I lost my voice again, and this time, I listened. I listened to what my body was saying, and started to put a few of the pieces together in my story. I have always pushed myself as far as I could push, but I was spent. Emotionally, and physically, I had nothing left. I spoke to my GP in view of my previous significant voice loss, and was instantly told to take some time off work to recharge and rest my voice. I reluctantly agreed to take a week off to recharge before going back to work.

A week later, at the start of September, I saw my GP, accompanied by a very good friend, to make sure I gave the facts and was honest about what was going on. We talked about everything. With the support of my friend, I listed all of the symptoms I had been experiencing, and yet not acknowledged, things I was finding difficult - sensitivities to light and noise, complete physical exhaustion, difficulties concentrating, poor spatial awareness - there can only be so many times a person can walk into the same photocopier in the same position on the same day. (My record was five times one day.) I described the difficulty I had in expressing myself and communicating with others at times, and my concerns about the slightly narcoleptic speed at which I could fall asleep and still feel totally unrested when I woke up, no matter how long I slept for. I raised my concerns and questioned whether I could possibly have some signs of ME CFS, however my GP said that at this stage, she did not feel I had ME, and that there were a huge number of reasons I was feeling as I was at that time. She was right about that, there had been a lot going on. I reluctantly left the doctor’s surgery with a certificate signing me off work for four weeks, and I was under strict instruction to rest completely, and not to return to work within the next four week period. I have never taken time off work willingly, other than for the usual expected absences due to the usual common illnesses, and therefore this went entirely against my work ethic. But this time, I had to - I was spent. I had no idea what was wrong with me, and how long it would last. I was worried and totally exhausted.

A month later, I returned to my GP to try and persuade her I was ready to return to work. We talked about how the last month had gone, how I was feeling, and what my thoughts about work were. I tried to list the positives to show I was feeling better but what were they? I was sleeping all of the time other than when I had to be awake to do a school run, or to look after my children, which I had been doing mainly from the sofa whilst they amused themselves in my sight. I was finding it difficult to carry out simple and regular tasks such as showering, which left me incapacitated and lay on my bed for some time before I could continue with the day. Cooking and preparing meals were a challenge, as this involved me being upright for longer than was comfortable. Having a conversation on the telephone was exhausting, and yet talking to someone in person was strangely slightly easier. I was often disorientated and a slight change in plans left me confused. On really bad days, I frequently could not have a conversation without losing what I was saying, and found it difficult to think of the words I wanted to say. My mind went blank. None of this made sense. I was 31 years old and generally healthy. What was wrong with me? I sounded like I was making this up and began to doubt myself. My GP informed me that she had been thinking about me, and had spoken to a colleague of hers for some advice. She advised that after some thought, she felt a referral to a specialist in Chronic Fatigue may be worthwhile, as it was possible that some of my symptoms could be signs of ME CFS. That made me anxious. I had suspected that this may be the case for me for a while, but to hear a clinical professional confirm my suspicions and want to investigate further sent chills right through me. How and why was this happening? We agreed that I would be referred to the consultant specialist, and I left the appointment with another four weeks off work, and a hope that I would return to work after another month, IF my energy levels had increased sufficiently.

Another month later, I returned to my GP, and despite me still experiencing significant fatigue, I was desperate to return to work and some normality. My GP reluctantly agreed to a phased return to work which would be monitored closely by her. I returned to work, initially for two half days a week, with a view to being back to my normal thirty hours a week by the end of December. I was still exhausted. Each day was a huge challenge, but it felt so good to be back at work! I tried to take things as easy as possible, as I was mindful that I needed to read the signs and listen to what my body was saying. I didn't feel like the person I was before, and yet just being 'me' again, in my usual workplace was a tonic.

In February 2019, I saw a consultant specialist in chronic fatigue, accompanied by another amazing friend. We talked through everything, literally everything! For a whole two hours, we discussed things I was able to do and things I couldn't do. Things I enjoyed and things I didn't. We talked in detail about my childhood, family history and medical history. I was referred for a sleep study to rule out sleep apnoea, and was advised that if the results of this study were unremarkable, then yes, I would be diagnosed with ME CFS. Otherwise, the diagnosis would be sleep apnoea. I felt sick, but with support from my friend, my husband and my family, we talked things through. But there were still no answers.

I am so lucky to have an amazing family and so many loyal and caring friends around me who know me better than I know myself at times. I can't express my thanks to each and every single person who supports us. Those who are there for me, to listen, advise and give the best hugs, and those fabulous friends who just know what to say and do when its needed. Those who try to understand what's going on, and those who know me best! My amazing family and friends regulate me and aren't afraid to tell me what I need to hear, despite this often being the harsh reality that I can't see (or don't want to!). I am often told to rest and that I need to put myself first, but that's not how I work, or it’s not how I've worked in the past anyway. I know I unintentionally frustrate the people I am closest to with my stubbornness and drive, and my reluctance to 'give in or give up', and I am so grateful for the support of so many people.

I finally received my appointment for my sleep study at home at the end of May 2019. I was shown how to fit the oxygen tubes, oxygen monitor and all the gubbins that go with it and was sent on my way. Honestly, the sleep study was not the best night of sleep I've ever had...it turns out I'm a little more claustrophobic than I thought I was. But, by the following morning, the test was done and the equipment was safely returned to the hospital. My pending diagnosis was in their hands now. I received a letter at the start of July 2019, to say that I didn't have sleep apnoea, so there it was. A diagnosis of ME CFS. Mixed emotions flooded me...relief that I wasn't going to have to wear a mask to sleep, and yet dread at reading the words I knew would be in my next letter from the consultant! On 25th July 2019, my letter arrived in the post. It simply said 'I can confirm that this patient has ME CFS. I will refer her to the local ME service for support'. I was numb.

So many questions!

How will this affect my children? What will happen next? Where do I stand with work? Will I need help? What does the future hold? All these questions filled my head. Many questions remain unanswered even twelve months on from receiving this letter. With no cure or successful treatment for this, I felt a mixture of panic, sadness and dread and telling my husband the results we didn't want to hear was hard. How would I be able to be the wife and mother I so wanted to be with this chronic illness? My children are still so young. My husband didn't sign up for this! This all felt so unfair!

Since my diagnosis, I've been supported by the local ME CFS service and their advice has been invaluable. The learning we have done as a family about the illness, the symptoms themselves and life as we know it, has been intense. I am able to recognise some of my triggers and my responses, though these constantly change and have increased in severity lately, but my husband, family and close friends will agree that I'm still pretty rubbish at really listening. I cannot seem to take it all in. I am on overload. I am a giver naturally...I don't come first in my head. I think of everyone else before myself - my children, my family and my friends. That is just me. But it wears me out.

My children

When I was diagnosed with ME CFS, my first thought was not for me, but for my children. This is not how I imagined parenting my own children. I felt a huge sadness that this would mean they had to grow up more quickly, to understand things a young child shouldn't have to, and that we may not be able to do all the lovely things we did when I was a child. I made a promise there and then...ME CFS wasn’t going to stop me doing things with our children. Our promise to our children even then, was that they would come first and that my husband and I would get through this together. This is not my children’s problem, it is mine.

My husband and I agreed very early on, not to give our children the details but just to explain, when needed, that Mummy just needed to rest. This worked for a while and kept questions at bay. I recall one lunchtime when I had prepared a 'picky lunch' at the request of our three-year-old son. I had laid on the sofa while they ate and watched a film. My daughter, aged around five at the time, touched my arm gently and gave me a crisp she had found, saying “Mummy, please have this heart-shaped crisp. It will give you more energy”. Wow!! I'm not sure how I held the tears in...I was completely taken aback! Without telling her anything other than that Mummy was sometimes a bit tired, this little sensitive soul had put two and two together and made her own conclusions. I knew we had to tell her a bit more now, if anything, to make sure she wasn't making her own ‘wrong’ deductions.

We have recently been introduced to a fabulous book which has been integral in our challenge of giving our children the facts they need whilst not giving them too much. This book, 'Supercharged Superhero' by Gemma Everson has been written to help children understand why a parent with ME may not be able to play all the time, and that they can have fun in different ways with their family. We love this book, and my children often ask if we can look at it again. We've spent many hours reading through the story, chatting about the pictures and thinking of our own ways to have fun which I can join in with too. Find out more about ‘Supercharged Superhero’ and get your own copy of this gorgeous book.

The Journey so far – September 2020

My journey through diagnosis and learning to adapt so far has been uphill. There have been some huge changes I've had to make to my lifestyle, specifically our pace of life and my priorities. Having never been able to say 'no' to anyone or anything in my adult life, my major challenge is to start saying ‘No, no, no!’ Such a simple word, and yet I just can't do it! Others always come before me; my family and my friends, and yet I know I need to work on this. I know I unintentionally drive my husband and close friends to distraction...they know me better than I know myself often, and I am always being told to slow down, or to put me first, but I can't. Only when I have no option otherwise.

I spend my life falling asleep without planning to. I rarely see the end of a television programme or film. As a family, we often plan to go out on adventures in the mornings or early afternoon, as my more unpredictable time of day is usually mid afternoon to early evening. With careful planning, we do go out and make memories as a family of four, and we have lots of fun together.

Everyday, I spend huge amounts of energy putting a brave face on to hide what I'm really feeling inside. I can’t do this anymore! I feel like most people only see me in a disguise, only my close friends and family know enough to understand what's really going on, and many of them can read me like a book. Conversely, I am constantly told I look really well, when in reality, I can barely stand up some days! When things are really bad I can't easily hold a conversation, and I often focus all my energy on getting to the end of a day, an hour, a meeting or some other mini target I've set myself. I am wishing time away just to ‘get through’. My illness is an invisible illness, and it is called that for a reason...it IS invisible!

On paper, my symptoms are fairly mild in contrast with others who have the same diagnosed condition. I am able go to work four days a week still, I am able to take my children to the park or on carefully planned day trips, I can still do some of the things I do for me, to allow me to be 'me', although these ‘things’ for me, are usually the ‘things’ I cut out if I need to slow down - leaving no time for Me!

The Present and the Immediate Future

In recent months I have seen a huge flare of my symptoms and have been much more debilitated than previously, but I am hoping this is just a blip in my journey. Working from home and home schooling two young children during the Covid 19 pandemic has not helped. Life has been a bit mad for us all lately, hasn't it?! I can only imagine how people feel, who have much more significant symptoms, and I try to empathise with those whose symptoms are much more severe than mine. ME CFS is so varied and different for each and every person diagnosed with it!

ME CFS is not well understood. As it is ‘invisible’, others do not know I am suffering symptoms that often debilitate me. I cover it well by pretending I am ‘ok’ until I finally crash and burn at home. This is my reason for sharing my story, living with this condition, to promote awareness so that others may benefit from learning about how it affects a person and how people can make allowances. It is not going away!! Maybe I was ‘given’ this condition because I am naturally a strong person who is ‘driven’ to come through everything, no matter what. I do not know. I know that sometimes, I just can’t and I am worn out ‘pretending’. So I have chosen to share this and maybe I can make a difference to someone else. Acknowledging symptoms is just the start. Getting a diagnosis is paramount, and getting the right help is vital for any kind of future.

You've got this far, well done! Look out for how my story unfolds. Until then, we must stay positive!

XxXx

#chronicfatiguesyndrome #chronicfatigue #mecfs #me #myalgicenceohalomyelitis #cfsme

#myalgic encephalomyelitis #chronic fatigue syndrome #spoonie #mecfs #fatigue #low energy #cfswarrior #spoonies #pwme #chronic illness #cfsme #cfs/me

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sheilacwall · 6 years ago

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Jay-Z & Numerology – 444

Jay-Z & Numerology 444

It feels surreal writing this on my birthday, being 44 and born on the 13th.

Jay-Z’s 13th album was named 4:44. Most rappers see themselves as “street prophets” and whilst Jay-Z has done tracks such as “Lucifer”, his wife Beyonce is deeply religious, being brought up singing in church in Houston, Texas.

Beyonce also bought a church in New Orleans for $850,000.

To understand 4:44, you need to understand the background with Beyonce writing an album, “Lemonade” in response to Jay-Z’s cheating. 4:44 is Jay’z response. His apology.

Jay-Z on the Meaning of 4:44

Jay was giving nothing away, leaving it for the listeners to find out and buy the album:

“4:44′ is a song that I wrote, and it’s the crux of the album, just right in the middle of the album. And I woke up, literally, at 4:44 in the morning, 4:44 AM, to write this song. So it became the title of the album and everything. It’s the title track because it’s such a powerful song, and I just believe one of the best songs I’ve ever written.”

In Dec. of 2013, just one day before he turned 44, Jay revealed he and Bey would go vegan for 22 days. The duration of the diet seemed somewhat random; however, the rapper explained that the number four played a huge part in deciding the time span:

“Why now?” he wrote on his blog, Life + Times. “There’s something spiritual to me about it being my 44th birthday and the serendipity behind the number of days in this challenge; 22 (2+2=4) coupled with the fact that the challenge ends on Christmas day…It just feels right!” And we should also remember that Jay once took the number four to linguistic extremes with his track “44 Fours,” a latter-day sequel to his 1996 track “22 Two’s.”

4:44 was released on 30th June, 2017 – if you add these numbers up, it comes to 26.

Biblical Meaning of 4:44

As our Biblical timeline of Jesus’ life shows, his ministry began on September 11 in 26 A.D. the same day the devil began his forty days of temptation. This day fell on a Wednesday, the 4th day of the week.

September 11 was not only the Day of Atonement in 26, it was the start of the Jubilee year (Luke 4:16 – 21, see also Isaiah 61:1 – 2). In Jesus first recorded public address in Nazareth, he links his ministry and message to this special period of liberty and freedom which occurred every 50th year and was announced on Atonement (Leviticus 25).

September 11 in 26 A.D. is thus an incredibly rare and momentous day in human history! The four-fold major events that took place, or began, on this day are the Day of Atonement, the start of the Jubilee Year, the start of Jesus’ ministry, and the beginning of the devil’s efforts to derail God’s plan to save humans.

So, take your pick, is Jay-Z atoning for his sins or is it the start of the devil’s plan to derail civilization, lol?

Jesus’ public ministry ended on a Wednesday, on the same 4th day of the week it started. It ceased in 30 A.D. when he was crucified and died on April 5 (the day portion of Passover) as a sacrifice for mankind’s sins.

The Day of Atonement in 26 A.D. corresponds on the Hebrew calculated calendar (used to determine God’s annual Feast Days) to Tishri 10 in the Hebrew year 3787. Jesus’ death in 30 A.D. corresponds to Nisan 14 in Hebrew year 3790. This means his entire ministry lasted 44 months (Hebrew years 3787 and 3789 had 13 months in them) and 4 days for the number 444!

Numerology & Other Meanings Surrounding 4:44

The 44th President of the USA is Barack Obama, a good friend of the Carters

Jay-Z’s birthday is December 4, while Beyoncé’s is September 4. (Bey’s mother, Tina Lawson, also has a birthday on January 4.)

The couple were married on April 4, 2008, which means their anniversary is 4/4 each year.

The singer went a little bit deeper during her 2011 Live at Roseland: Elements of 4 concert series. During one of the four performances, Bey claimed her entire wedding date was significant, not just the day and month: “On April 4, 2008—eight divided by two is four—[Jay Z] put a ring on it.”

Oh, and shortly after the two tied the knot, they got matching tattoos on their ring fingers of the Roman numeral 4: “IV.” That number is also seen in the middle name of their first child: Blue Ivy Carter – Ivy is the phonetic spelling of the Roman numeral.

444 was the street address where Jay-Z had an argument with Beyonce’s sister, Selange, in an elevator.

Don’t forget that Jay-Z is the king of the “triple entendre” and 4:44 may represent that.

The album also followed 9 years after Kanye’s “808 & Heartbreaks”. If 808 represents a heart and it is broken, that becomes 44.

Jay-Z – 4:44 (Music Video)

4:44 the song opens up with a small boy singing Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” performed in 1965. But, she didn’t write it. It was actually written by English composers Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse for the musical The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd.

In the show, Price’s character is asked to perform a game against the show’s hero “Cocky”, but as “Cocky” and his master “Sir” argue over the rules, “the Negro” reaches the centre of the stage and “wins”, singing the song at his moment of triumph. It was described as a “booming song of emancipation”.

As Bob Marley says, “Emancipate Yourself from Mental Slavery”, which Kanye West clumsily rebooted and was made a sacrificial lamb for, but ended up pushing him closer to God. His falling out with Jay-Z made him not only become closer to his wife, family & religion, but reunite with his father.

“My dad came to visit me at one of our ranches in Cody, Wyoming. He talked about his love for fishing, and how he could come here in the summers,” Kanye wrote. “It took me 42 years to realize that my dad was my best friend.”

“He asked me, ‘How many acres is this?’ I told him 4,000. He replied with these three words: ‘A black man?‘” Kanye continued.

Kanye continues to reach out to Kanye, both on Brothers and on “Closed on Sunday”.

Remember Beyonce’s album “Lemonade” and Jay-Z & Kanye did “Watch the Throne” together.

I believe Closed on Sunday is also refencing Jay-Z and Beyonce. Wanting their kids to play together.

[Chorus] Closed on Sunday, you’re my Chick-fil-A Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A Hold the selfies, put the ’Gram away Get your family, y’all hold hands and pray When you got daughters, always keep ’em safe Watch out for vipers, don’t let them indoctrinate Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A You’re my number one, with the lemonade Raise our sons, train them in the faith Through temptations, make sure they’re wide awake Follow Jesus, listen and obey No more livin’ for the culture, we nobody’s slave

[Verse] Stand up for my home Even if I take this walk alone I bow down to the King upon the throne My life is His, I’m no longer my own I pray to God that He’ll strengthen my hand They will think twice steppin’ onto my land I draw the line, it’s written in the sand Try me and you will see that I ain’t playin’ Now, back up off my family, move your hands I got my weapons in the spirit’s land I, Jezebel don’t even stand a chance Jezebel don’t even stand a chance

Anyway, it is Jay-Z’s most honest song at an attempt at atonement.

You can read a full explanation of the 4:44 video here.

The post Jay-Z & Numerology – 444 appeared first on Hip Hop World Music.

from Hip Hop World Music https://hiphopworldmusic.com/jay-z-numerology-444/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=jay-z-numerology-444 from Hip Hop World Music https://hiphopworldmusic.tumblr.com/post/189034252063

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cheesyramynry · 7 years ago

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tag time

mel tagged me in a lot thanks bro

aye aye aye thanks to he homegirl @starlightjeongin ily so much melly and you’re an angel <333 eskgetit!!!

also,,, there are like,,,, 4 tags in this so uhhhhh have fun

Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

> so um if you read this you are tagged now congrats <

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

> i dont know/remember enough blogs to tag im sorry <

A: age? > 15!!! <

B: birthplace? > californiaaaa <

C: current time? > 4:43 pm <

D: drink you had last? > water bc its good for you <

E: easiest person to talk to? > my irl homie @realmzenith , the most fantastic perosn i have ever met on this site and of whom my soul burns with affection for @starlightjeongin , and my rad friends in my got7 amino groupchat - selena, haru, apple, and emi :) <

F: favorite song? > oh boy i dont have a favorite favorite song bro i guess the first things i can think of is either danzon no. 2 by arturo marquez, martini blue by dpr live, and home run by got7 <

G: grossest memory? > asdf uhh when i went hiking with my pathfinder club and we went through a “long-cut” and went off the trail and we had to walk up this super long river, and then to get out of the river to land we had to walk through these riverbed plants and this gray mud stuff and i had to put on my socks and sneakers and it was disgusting <

H: hogwarts house? > i say that im a hufflepuff, lately i got placed in ravenclaw but i dont agree <

I: in love? > in love with the fact that im old enough to be a little free, in love with my kpop faves, in love with all of my friends who tell me they appreciate me, in love with the idea of being productive, in love with music and daydreaming <

J: jealous of people? > tbh i catch myself being jealous of other people’s artistic abilities, but i turn that into a need to become better/daydream about myself being that good so uhh???? yeah <

K: killed someone? > i was playing overwatch with a friend late last night and one of our comp matches there were these two dudes who played tank, one in particular imma call CTL who was rude to me and the whole team (my mic doesnt work so i couldn’t talk back but he was still a bing bond :( ), a few rounds after we left that one we got placed against the two mean tanks, and me, a mercy main with crappy aim, 1v1ed CTL who was playing mccree and i was HAPPY. we lost but binch i teabagged the heck out of his douchy body <

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? > walk by again im staring at you either way <

M: middle name? > danielle!! <

N: number of siblings? > i have a younger sister!! <

O: one wish? > tbh to be better at what i want to be better at, like someone please give me like a stat 100 potion or something <

P: person you called last? > last person i called was my friend mikey of whom i was playing overwatch with lmao <

R: reasons to smile? > music!!! art!!! alan menken said that there will be a musical production of hercules in the future!! <

S: song you sang last? > the finale of newsies bc my sister left it playing on the tv as i ate nine (9) quesedillas

T: time you woke up? > techinally 6:30 am bc my dog was scratching my door, then 9, then 11 am <

U: underwear color? > mint blue and gray <

V: vacation destination? > i think i would love to go to the places in europe where composers lived, that or i would love to visit every place my internet friends live :D <

W: worst habit? > probably sleeping until noon, forgetting to do important responsibility things, reading a text message/email and then not responding bc i forgot about reading it

X: x-rays? > i got an x-ray on my right arm when i fractured it in kindergarten, some on my stomach when i ate like three whole mangoes with the skin on them, and some of my teeth before i got my braces <

Y: your favorite food? > thai food, stuff from panera bread, or pretty much warm foods with rice <

Z: zodiac sign? > im a virgo!!! <

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

> green or purple!!! or like whatever im feeling lmao but those are my first choices <

2) Favourite song at the moment:

> asdkfjas;ldfkjsdlkfj bro i cant choose okay im going to shuffle my fav songs playlist adn put the first thing that comes up: damdadi by golden child

3) Last book you read:

> i think its my history textbook lmao finals are this week for me <

4) Last TV show you watched:

> my friend’s younger sister showed me clips from Stranger Things but i never have watch it before, i also watched a few dramas at a friend’s house but idk the names of them lmao

5) Last movie you watched:

> oh golly uhhh i think its enemies in-laws on netflix <

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

> i have a doggo(?) named tucker <

7) If you have siblings how many?

> i have one younger sister!1! <

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

> i think resting, getting up to date with my million notifications, just scrolling through the internet, or writing <

9) Best tumblr friends:

> on tumblr i have the amazing wonderful fantastic showstopping gravity-defying dabtastical @starlightjeongin aka mel aka melly aka melmel aka infant aka like the coolest and raddest person i have ever meet

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

> idk if this is hard to explain but sometimes i do things people dont expect, like i was using my friend’s neighbor’s airsoft gun and like they were surprised that i have pretty good aim and that just makes me feel really good yknow <

11) Favourite memory:

> back in april 2017, during my band’s new york tour, in our hotel when i asked my friend what she was watching (it was got7′s m/v hard carry)

12) 3 weird habits:

> i turn on all of my nightlights in a specific order, when its dark in my room i like to dance to music and watch myself in the mirror, i tend to randomly scream i think <

13) What would you call your style?:

> i like to wear large clothes, even though im like a medium small bc ahaha i have slight body dysphoria, i also like to wear button-ups from the men’s section that have weird designs, suspenders, and i guess things that make me feel aesthetic and free <

14) Odd talent:

> i can clap with one hand and me fingers bend weirdly <

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

> i have a big ol friend crush on my dear friend mel and a lot on the gr8 ppl of the aroha fandom <

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions! Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

> lmao i learned about them when it was rumored that jyp was going to have a new boy group, and i followed the updates until the announcement of the webseries/release of hellevator. i didnt want more ppl to remember on my plate until december 30ish when i finally gave in to mel so here i am <

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids?

> im actually going to watch it right after i finish this tag post lmao ive never watched it before but i think ive seen clips??? when the boys were vlogging themselves packing idk if thats part of the webseries but thats cute <

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

> I DONT HAVE ONE OKAY I DONT WANT TO TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT YET IM SCARED i legit like,,, dont know a whole lot about each member but i know their names but,,,,,, i think,,,,, before i start truly getting into them myself,,,, is probably seungmin,,,,, i think,,,,,,,, maybe,,,, whoops i just remembered woojin existed uhhhHHHH idk <

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

> (im listening to ailee’s i will go to you like the first snow rn and im so emo while doing this tag) i love all of them!!!! probs chan or changbin or jeongin bc they are so sweet!!! <

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids?

> idk the team compositions of stray kids so i will get back to you on that one until i watch the series lmao <

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids?

> of course hellevator lmao <

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha?

> FRICK actually i dont know bc melly showed me vids of them performing live but i dont know what the song was :( <

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

> legit only have listened to hellevator and grrr so um ill say grrr?? <

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

> SUSPENSE!!! idk if that ‘s hard to explain but like something with a story in the background, maybe like a spy concept with a nice orchestration i think they can do it <

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

> ahhh!!! i dont know they all too too well but i would love to tell them that i feel that they are different from any other kpop group i have ever seen, bc they all seem genuinely happy and they are like the coolest bros and their friendship with each other is something that i could only dream of!! also ive heard that their songs have rad lyrics and they work super hard so i look up to them for that!!!1!!! <

#tags #i was tagged #krys!!!

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chaoticsoulzzz · 8 years ago

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Restart Your Life #AtoZChallenge Day 18

Restart Your Life #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z #atozchallenge #azchat #atozer #restartlife

Day 18 | Letter: R (more…)

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#a to z #A to Z april Challenge #a to z april challenge 2017 #a to z challenge #a to z challenge blog #april challenge #love you zindagi #Restart your life #restarting life

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kiwinana71 · 8 years ago

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C is for Chipmunks #atozchallenge

A to Z April 2017 Challenge – Animals Birds & Insects Pantoum Poetry

4 April 2017 – C is for Chipmunks

#atozchallenge Photo Credit – Siberian chipmunk, in South Korea

Chipmunks are small, striped rodents of the family Sciuridae same as squirrels. Twenty-five different species of chipmunk living in the North American forests Chipmunks have extensive underground burrows, can be more than 3.5 m…

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#atozchallenge #a to z challenge #April 2017 #blogging #C is for Chipmunks #Pantoum Poetry #wordpress

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anne-m-bray · 5 years ago

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#AtoZchallenge 2020 Theme Reveal

Truck back ends!

The most perfect A to Z truck. Captured 5/28/19.

Which I’m sure comes as no surprise to those familiar with this blog, being the fourth year I’ve made this collection from my #dailytruck series. 2019 2018 2017

To commence, as always, April 1st. Curious? Read more about the A-Z Blogging Challenge here.

Note: In case you’re new to this series, here’s how I create these: The A to Z…

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#AtoZchallenge #california #commute #digital #phone apps #traffic #truck #waterlogue

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whispersandwhiskerburn · 8 years ago

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Much Ado About SPN

Friends, writers, tumblr people, lend me your ears...

For those of you who do not know, I (Angel, @whispersandwhiskerburn) am a teacher. I love to teach writing and reading to students—and I love reading and writing fanfiction. So, when I reached the AMAZING milestone of 1.5K FOLLOWERS, I decided to celebrate with my fellow writers with a challenge that marries the two—my love of teaching literature and writing and my love of spn fanfiction.

Every writer goes on a journey. They start with the ABCs and it's amazing how many wonders just 26 letters can create—it's all about how you use them. Of course, reading helps; good readers become good writers, and good writers are always looking for a way to challenge themselves, in reading and writing. One of the most challenging, most famous, and best writers that ever lived made wonderful stories that are read and taught to this day—all with the same 26 letters that we use.

So, that's the inspiration for this challenge. The letters of the alphabet—and one of the greatest writers of all time: William Shakespeare.

The idea is to use at least two (all three if you can) of the alphabet prompts AND the Shakespeare line—you do NOT have to use Shakespeare's wording, just be inspired by the theme of the quote.

Rules and Accepting the Challenge:

1. Must be following me....it's a follower celebration, so yeah. New followers are welcome though, so feel free to follow, then ask. :)

2. Send an ASK with your requested prompt by letter and quote number. First come, first choice—and there are only 25 prompts (I deleted x) so you'd better hurry! I want to give everyone a chance to sign up, so don't ask for a second prompt until after March 10th, please! NOTE: If you ask anonymously...you're silly. I can't sign you up if I don't know who you are?

3. Any character from the show is welcome, but not cast members for this challenge (Dean/Sam/Castiel etc., not Jensen/Jared/Misha). Ships are fine, (exceptions: no non-con and no Samifer, since Lucifer totally raped him) but reader-inserts are preferred.

4. Any genre: SFW, NSFW, AU, angst, fluff, smut, or any combination thereof, just please tag appropriately.

5. No maximum length limit, but if it is more than 800 words, include a read-more link, or I won't reblog it. Should be at least 500 words. One shots, drabbles, series pieces, combinations with other challenges/requests—all are totally cool.

6. Tag me (@whispersandwhiskerburn) in the header somewhere. I will reblog these with feedback and add them all to a masterlist. I want to post the masterlist on Shakespeare's birthday which is celebrated on April 23rd, so the deadline for fics is April 20th. Also, please tag the fic with #MuchAdoAboutSPN and #Angel's1.5k within the first 5 tags.

7. Try and post your fic on or before the day it’s due, April 20th 2017, but it’s okay if it’s late. Life happens!

8. Have fun!!

Sign Ups! Once a prompt combo has been chosen, I will write the blog's name beside the letter and move the Shakespearean quote to this list. Any Shakespearean quotes still under the prompts lower in this post are still up for grabs. If the letter in this section has a blog tag beside it, it's taken, so ask for a different one! Happy writing everyone (and if you want to discuss your quote, please message or ask me—I'm an English teacher who loves Shakespeare, so bring it)!

STATUS: Prompts are closed everyone! Deadline is April 20th, and I look forward to your fics!

A @buffylovesfoxmulder, 8. “This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man” (Hamlet I.3).

B @arlaina28, 31. “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother” (Henry V IV.3).

C @bringmesomepie56, 15. “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” (Twelfth Night II.5).

D @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog, 1. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” (Hamlet II.2).

E @littlegreenplasticsoldier, 20 “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once” (Julius Caesar II.2).

F @whatareyousearchingfordean, 39. “What's gone and what's past help should be past grief” (Winter's TaleIII.2)

G @therealdeanwinchester13, 10. “Lord, what fools these mortals be!” (A Midsummer Night's Dream III.2)

H @rachelladytietjens, 33. “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” (Hamlet IV.5)

I @ive-been-told-that-im-fangirling, 7. “If music be the food of love, play on” (Twelfth Night I.1).

J @avasmommy224, 36. “Tempt not a desperate man” (Romeo and Juliet IV.3).

K @kalliravenne, 11. “I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?” (Much Ado About Nothing IV.2).

L @hellssarcasticqueen, 19. “The miserable have no other medicine, but only hope” (Measure for Measure III.1).

M @wi-deangirl77, 22. “I am one who loved not wisely but too well” (Othello V.2).

N @destiel-addict-forever, 40. “You pay a great deal too dear for something that's given freely” (Winter's Tale I.1).

O @little-red-83, 18. “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt” (Measure for Measure I.4).

P @mrsbatesmotel53, 25. “We have seen better days” (As You Like It II.7) and (Timon of Athens IV.2).

Q @roxy-davenport, 5. “Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall. Some run from breaks of ice, and answer none, and some condemned for one fault alone” (Measure for Measure II.1).

R @deansarms, 6. “I burn, I pine, I perish” (Taming of the Shrew I.1).

S @atc74, 35. “Friendship is constant in all other things” (Much Ado About Nothing, II.1).

T @chaos-and-the-calm67, 3. “The wheel is come full circle: I am here” (King Lear V.3).

U @besslincoln-bruh, 30. “Strong reasons make strong actions” (King John III.4).

V @plaidstiel-wormstache, 21. “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?” (Merchant of Venice III.1).

W: @waywardjoy, 2. “Is this a dagger which I see before me...or art thou but a dagger of the mind, a false creation” (Macbeth II.1).

Y @thegreatficmaster, 24. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here” (Tempest I.2).

Z @thegreatficmaster, 38. “Pray you now, forget and forgive.” (King Lear IV.7).

Alphabet Prompts (A-Z): Choose a letter and (if I give you the okay!) include at least 2 (3 if you can) of the associated SPN topics in your fic.

**You'll notice that none of the major characters of the show are listed—anyone can write about Dean, even if they don't have the letter D. These characters/objects/themes need to appear in your fic, and should have some importance to plot, but just because you choose Meg Masters, it doesn’t mean you have to write a Meg x Reader fic (though, if you want to, that’s cool too), savvy?

Shakespeare Quotes/Phrases (1-40): Choose a Shakespearean line and (if I give you the okay!) let it inspire your fic. You certainly can, but you do not have to include Shakespeare's actual words in your writing. Like I tell my students, “The Bard (Shakespeare) wrote in a different time and the language has changed. That doesn't mean that what he has to say isn't still relevant—you've just got to look harder.”

The LEFTOVERS....

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts” (As You Like It II.7).

“I would give all my fame for a pot of ale, and safety” (Henry V III.2).

“Action is eloquence” (Coriolanus III.2).

“(Life) it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing” (Macbeth IV, 5).

“Live a little; comfort a little; cheer thyself a little” (As You Like It II.6).

“Come what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day” (Macbeth I.3).

“Self-love... is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting” (Henry V II.4).

“The course of true love never did run smooth” (A Midsummer Night's Dream I.1).

“I am a man more sinn'd against than sinning” (King Lear III.2).

“We would not die in that man's company that fears his fellowship to die with us” (Henry V IV.3).

“excessive grief the enemy to the living” (All's Well That Ends Well I.1).

“There are more things in heaven and earth...than are dreamt of in our philosophy” (Hamlet I.5).

“I will wear my heart upon my sleeve” (Othello I.1).

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain, but Lust's effect is tempest after sun” (Venus and Adonis).

“If it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most offending soul alive” (Henry V IV.3).

Go sign up quick!

A giant THANK YOU to my bestie, @waywardjoy, who helped me plan this whole challenge. You rock, chicka, and you make tumblr home. :D

Forever Tags:

@2wonderinsighlents, @adaliamalfoy, @alcpegasus22, @andrastesflamingtitties, @angelofwinchester17, @alexastacio, @anokhi07, @ariethegreat98, @arryn-nyx, @autopistaaningunaparte, @avasmommy224, @bennyyh, @blackcatstiel, @bringmesomepie56, @bucky-thorin-winchester, @but-deans-back-tho, @casownsmyass, @cfordwrites, @chaos-and-the-calm67, @dancingalone21, @d-s-winchester, @deafgirlsarecooler, @deandoesthingstome, @deanscherrypie, @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog, @deanwinchesterforpromqueen, @deliciouslyshadowymilkshake, @demonangelimpala, @demondeansdomme, @faith-in-dean, @fandommaniacx, @feelmyroarrrr, @fiveleaf, @i-is-for-inspiring, @ilostmyshoe-79, @impala-dreamer, @jalove-wecallhimdean, @jencharlan, @jensen-gal, @jotink78, @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms, @katnharper, @kittenofdoomage, @kristaparadowski, @lipstickandwhiskey, @littlegreenplasticsoldier, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, @lunarsaturn88, @marilynnlew, @millaraysuyai, @moonstonemystyk, @mrsbatesmotel53, @mrsjohnsmith, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mzpearlz, @notnatural-supernatural, @paintrider13-blog, @pinknerdpanda, @plaidstiel-wormstache, @rizlowwritessortof, @roxy-davenport, @rushernparadise, @salvachester, @scorpiongirl1, @skathan-omaha, @spnrvt, @supernatural-jackles, @supernaturalyobsessed, @theafinnerup, @thegreatficmaster, @torn-and-frayed, @vote-for-pedro, @waywardjoy, @wevegotworktodo, @wi-deangirl77, @withoutaplease, @writingbeautifulmen, @xtina2191, @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou

Those who requested a shout out, but who aren’t on the forevers list (but who are welcome to sign up for that if they want to!):

@eyes-of-a-disney-princess, @wayward-mirage, @megansescape, @arlaina28

Thanks for following me everyone!

#remember when you were in high school reading Shakespeare and thinking you'd never see it again?#hahaha #evil teacher laugh #spnfanfic #writing challenge #angel's1.5k #muchadoaboutspn #shakespeare #spn #spnfamily #abc

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weekendsinmaine · 7 years ago

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One of my favorite cold weather activities is hiking. Fortunately, we have an abundance of trails in Maine but I don’t always blog about every hike that we take. So, for today’s challenge post, I’m sharing pictures from four different hikes we took this past winter.

Have you ever played Scattegories? It’s one of my favorite games. The basic premise is that you roll a letter dice, and then you have to think of words that begin with that letter for various categories . If you come up with multiple words that start with that letter for a category, you get extra points. This post gets extra points since the name of three of the four trails that we hiked also begin with the letter F.

Do you enjoy hiking in the winter? Do you have a favorite hiking spot?

Falmouth Land Trust | Blackstrap Hill Preserve – Falmouth, Maine. Hiked March 17, 2018 – Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Fore River Sanctuary – Portland, Maine. Hiked December 16, 2017

Fuller Farm Trail – Scarborough, Maine. Hiked March 11, 2018.

Mill Brook Preserve – Westbrook, Maine. Hiked January 14, 2018.

I’m participating in a Blogging A-Z Challenge for April 2018. I will be posting new content every day this month except most Sundays. Each post is associated with a letter of the alphabet, starting with A and ending with Z. My theme for the challenge is Winters in Maine. To read more of my A to Z posts, click HERE.

You are following this blog

You are following this blog, along with 621 other amazing people (manage).

#AtoZChallenge | F is for Four Winter Hikes and Extra Points in Scattegories One of my favorite cold weather activities is hiking. Fortunately, we have an abundance of trails in Maine but I don't always blog about every hike that we take.

#a to z 2018 #a to z blogging challenge #hiking #nature #winter

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penguinswander · 8 years ago

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Friends - in April I'm running a FREE workshop on self discovery. As a group we'll discuss the day's reading, and work through questions designed to aid self awareness. We'll explore various ways to see how travel, nature, and art help define us. Identifying what is currently working in your life will aid your feelings of self worth. This will be a safe environment for participants to exchange viewpoints and observations. Please join the Penguin's Wanderlust Facebook group. The posts will appear in the Self Discovery section of my web site. It's link is in my profile here. The workshop is being developed to coincide with the A to Z Blogging Challenge for April 2017. I'm excited about this!

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chaoticsoulzzz · 8 years ago

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Price Tag Mechanism #AtoZChallenge Day 16

Price Tag Mechanism #AtoZChallenge @AprilA2Z #atozchallenge #azchat #WeightLoss #Mechanism

Day 16 | Letter: P (more…)

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#a to z #A to Z april Challenge #a to z april challenge 2017 #a to z challenge #a to z challenge blog #Mechanism #New Tricks #Price #Weight loss

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kiwinana71 · 8 years ago

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My Posts A to Z Challenge April 2017 Photo Credit My Posts A to Z Challenge April 2017 Animals Birds & Insects Pantoum Poetry…

#April 2017 #blogging #Pantoum Poetry #Post A to Z Challenge #wordpress #writing #X-ray fish

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uncrcow · 8 years ago

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Q: Are we in the Matrix?

A: Free your mind...

What is the Matrix?

In the Wachowski Brothers’ 1999 sci-fi flick, The Matrix, computer-hacker Neo discovers the truth: [spoiler alert] the world he lives in is really a giant computer simulation developed by sentient machines to harvest human energy inside a much darker reality. Badass action sequences bending every law of physics ensue.

The original motion picture debuted in the midst of the 20th-century’s rise of the machines, spawning an instant cult following, two sequels, a series of video games, numerous print publications, and even a religion.

The film’s apocalyptic premise may leave you feeling a bit dystopic about the future – but add in the recent pop-culture takeover of information technologies including 3D simulations, virtual and augmented reality, and artificial intelligence to the mix – and it leaves one to wonder, what is the likelihood ‘the matrix’ is more than science fiction?

Are we in the Matrix?

While a life of ones and zeros might be a hard pill to swallow, the idea may have scientific merit.

Renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has stated “the likelihood may be very high” that we are all living inside a simulation. “[I]t is easy for me to imagine,” said Tyson at the 2016 Isaac Asimov Memorial Debate at the American Natural History Museum, “that everything in our lives is just a creation of some other entity for their entertainment.”

The debate first gained momentum in 2003 with the publication of Nick Bostrom’s Simulation Argument: If we believe a posthuman species could progress to the point where it would be possible to create a matrix-type simulation, argues Bostrom, it follows that we are “almost certainly” already living in one.

There are more than a few supporters of Bostrom’s logic in the scientific community. Elon Musk, billionaire founder of PayPal, SpaceX, and Tesla, declared last year at San Francisco’s Code Conference, that “the odds that we’re in base reality is one in billions.” Moreover, “we should hope that that’s true,” reasons Musk, because alternatively, civilization will (someday) cease to exist.

How can we know?

One potential solution is the Cosmic Ray Test:

If the programmers of this simulation were subject to limited computational resources, the simulation would be imperfect and therefore it would be possible to discover a ‘glitch’ in the matrix. Assuming the universe is built on a computer-simulated grid, cosmic rays – charged particles that travel through space approaching lightspeed – would likely travel along the lines of the grid, and not at random.

The test makes a lot of assumptions about our future overlords, however, and humanity could well go extinct before technology makes sufficient advances to test the theory.

If we truly are living in the matrix, what would it mean for humankind, and the true nature of reality?

Am I real?

Are you?

Does it matter?

What is real?

Reality refers to things as they actually are – but as human beings, we conceive of what is real only through the lenses of our own perception.

Michael Abrash, chief scientist at Oculus, said in his presentation at the Global Grand Challenges Summit, "all reality is virtual… the reality we experience is a construct in our minds, based on highly incomplete data." Or as Morpheus tells Neo, “real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”

Until then, check out the Undergraduate Library’s new Virtual Reality Gaming Station! Visit library.unc.edu/vr to reserve your slot today.

Resources:

Abrash, M. (2017, July 24). VR’s Grand Challenge: Michael Abrash on the Future of Human Interaction. Retrieved August 07, 2017, from https://www.oculus.com/blog/vrs-grand-challenge-michael-abrash-on-the-future-of-human-interaction/

AMNH. (2016, April 08). 2016 Isaac Asimov Memorial Debate: Is the Universe a Simulation? Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/podcasts/2016-isaac-asimov-memorial-debate-is-the-universe-a-simulation/

Ball, P. (2016, September 05). Earth - We might live in a computer program, but it may not matter. Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160901-we-might-live-in-a-computer-program-but-it-may-not-matter

Bostrom, N. (2003). Are You Living in A Computer Simulation? Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://www.simulation-argument.com/simulation.html

Bostrom, N. (2003). Why Make a Matrix? And Why You Might Be In One. Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://www.simulation-argument.com/matrix2.html

Boult, A. (2016, June 03). We are 'almost definitely' living in a Matrix-style simulation, claims Elon Musk. Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2016/06/03/we-are-almost-definitely-living-in-a-matrix-style-simulation-cla/

Elon Musk. (n.d.). Retrieved August 07, 2017, from https://www.forbes.com/profile/elon-musk/

Enter the Matrix (Video Game 2003). (n.d.). Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0277828/

Howell, E. (2016, April 21). What Are Cosmic Rays? Retrieved August 07, 2017, from https://www.space.com/32644-cosmic-rays.html

Matrixism: The path of the One, The Matrix religion. (n.d.). Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://phosphoressence.tripod.com/

Merali, Z. (2003, November 14). Do We Live in the Matrix? Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://discovermagazine.com/2013/dec/09-do-we-live-in-the-matrix

Neil deGrasse Tyson. (n.d.). Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://www.haydenplanetarium.org/tyson/

Nick Bostrom. (n.d.). Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://www.nickbostrom.com/

Oculus. (n.d.). Retrieved August 07, 2017, from https://www.oculus.com/

Reality. (n.d.). Retrieved August 07, 2017, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reality

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The Matrix 101. (n.d.). The Books. Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://thematrix101.com/books/

VR in the Undergraduate Library. (n.d.). Retrieved August 07, 2017, from http://library.unc.edu/vr

Image Resources

GIPHY. The Matrix GIF. [Digital Image]. Retrieved from https://media.giphy.com/media/l0Hlyj0fsHlNMxj8I/giphy.gif

GIPHY. Time GIF. [Digital Image]. Retrieved from https://media.giphy.com/media/p2HSo534M8Is8/giphy.gif

Singh, S. (2016). The Matrix Movie Quotes. [Photograph]. Retrieved from http://www.escapematter.com/2016/11/the-matrix-movie-quotes-that-make-you.html

Sarma, D. (2012). The Matrix. [Photograph]. Retrieved from http://writeriot.blogspot.com/2012/07/

You|Need|Me. (2010). Matrix He is the one 1080p Full HD. [Film Still]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYwdzYC3uUc

Written by Tabitha Frahm

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