#AHHH i swear i am normal oh crap. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hopesbarnes · 6 years

Text

Unconventional Life

Summary: Y/N Stark lives a strange life. Her dad’s Iron Man, her mom runs a multibillion-dollar company, and her boyfriend is Spider-Man. She loves it though. The only problem is her dad would kill her if he knew she was dating his protege.

Pairing: Stark! Reader x Peter Parker

Warnings: Few curse words and a slightly heated makeout scene

Being Tony Stark's one and only child was a feat, to say the least. Paparazzi followed you from an early age, trying to get pictures and when you could talk, an interview. Dad wasn't the most attentive father, and you couldn't fault him for it it's just the way he was. Pepper did most of the actual raising part of raising a child since your mother didn't bother to stay long enough to do it. But you'd be lying if you said you didn't love your unconventional life. Not many people can say they've traveled the world, had an absurd amount of money to spend, and have built technology far behind a normal person's ability. Also, the fact that you're only 17 makes it all the cooler.

Dad has always been super protective of you, you'd scrape a knee and it was like you were dying. Every person you've liked or tried to date never lasted too long. So this time you decided just not to tell him, hard to scare someone away when he doesn't know there's a reason to. Pepper knew you told her, but even she agreed keeping him out of the loop would be for the best. It's not that you thought dad would hate your boyfriend, quite the opposite actually, you just knew he would hate that you were dating someone.

Peter was the sweetest guy you've ever met. You went to school with him for years but never really talked to him until this past year. You tried to talk to him before, you did always have a crush on him, but every time he'd stumble over his words and awkwardly walk away. But that kind of changed when you ran into him inside the tower, in the spiderman costume minus the mask.

"Hey, Y/N what's up?" he asked nonchalantly.

"I- uhm nothing, you're spiderman?"

"OH CRAP, yeah I, I'm not so good with this whole secret identity thing yet. Guess it's a good thing you're the one who saw me not someone else right?" he shrugged and went to the other room to change.

While doing this your dad walked out, "Hey dad, were you gonna tell me that Peter Parker is Spiderman?"

"No why?"

"Maybe because I go to school with him, and he's my age," you say sarcastically.

"Huh, guess he is." Peter walked back out now, this time in jeans with the suit in hand.

"The suit keeps malfunctioning and Karen keeps speaking German. Can you fix it Mr. Stark?" he asks but your dad's head is in another world.

"Here I can fix it, come on to my lab." you grab the suit and walk down the hall.

"You have your own lab?!"

After that day the two of you spent most of your free time working on the suit, or other technology in your wing of the tower. You guys became friends fast, and Peter seemed beyond stoked to share the superhero life with someone besides Ned, your father, and Happy. Your crush went from just a small one where you thought he was cute, to a full-blown one where all you thought of was Peter. Was he hurt? How did his Spanish test go? Did he like how you looked in this dress? etc. One day after he left a study session in your kitchen, Pepper found you daydreaming.

"You should tell him" she advised.

"Tell who what?" you inquired.

"Tell Peter you like him, I think he feels the same way."

"He doesn't, I don't- we don't like each other. We're just friends." you stutter. Pepper just hummed in disbelief.

Things stayed this way for a few months until one night when he came to your window hurt.

"Peter, what happened? Are you alright?"

"Not so much, think you can help me?" he grunted in pain. You tried not to show how worried you were, but seeing him in any kind of pain was hard to do.

"You should be in the medical bay, let me go get my dad."

"No, no, NO. You can not get Mr. Stark. He can't know I went out. I promised I'd leave this one alone and if he found out I got hurt, I'd be in so much trouble." If anyone knew what it was like to disobey Tony Stark and have him figure out, it was you. So you went and got a first aid kit. Luckily when you were 15 you took a couple first aid courses after a series of minor injuries in the lab that you didn't want to worry your dad over. It took an hour or two but you fixed him up, and it wasn't anything serious anyway. It was a nice night out so you guys moved out to your balcony with a blanket. He told you the entire story of what happened that night, and somewhere along the line both of you fell asleep in each other's arms.

After that night Peter pulled away. He stopped coming over to study, stopped showing up in your lab to work on projects and avoided you in school. You raked your head for what had happened but came up blank. Thinking he just maybe needed some time apart you gave him two weeks. But after zero contact for those two weeks, you had enough. You decided to corner him at his apartment after school. May answered the door and invited you in, saying you could go to his room where he was.

You knocked, and heard "Yeah May, come in!" so decided it was okay to go in.

"Hey."

"Hey." Since when had things been this awkward between the two of you.

"I haven't heard from you in a while and thought I'd check up on you. Is everything okay?" you said quietly.

"Just been busy, sorry." You decided taking the sweet approach wasn't working.

"You're always busy, but before you made time for me. Why are you avoiding me?!"

"God Y/N I don't want to avoid you, but maybe it's better we stop hanging out."

"Bullshit. I am calling bullshit. Tell me what's really going on."

"I LIKE YOU, okay? I like you and hanging out with me is a bad idea. I get hurt, and you looked so worried a few weeks ago when I came in injured. And it sucks knowing you don't feel the same way." He liked you, Peter liked you.

"You do know that my dad is Iron Man right? Everyone I know is always hurt, and I'm always worried. Also, who said I don't feel the same way. I have had a crush on you for years." his eyes widened at the last part.

"You do? I uh- you like me?" He may be a superhero but man was he a dork.

"Will you kiss me now?" you smiled and he pulled you close to him. He reached up and cupped your face and tentatively met your lips.

Kissing Peter was by far the best thing you've ever done. At first, he held back, not wanting to hurt you in any way. But after you grabbed his hair something switched. When you pulled away both of you started giggling.

"You dork."

"Hey!"

Dating Peter was like a dream. He always made sure to text you good night, take you on dates after his spider duties. (Your favorite dates were the ones where you just sat on top of buildings talking.) It had been four months of you being the happiest you've ever been. But while in the beginning sneaking around was fun, you really hated lying to your dad now. Whenever Pete came by you would have to act like friends, no touching and definitely no kissing. As things became more serious the two of you decided you had to tell your dad. It was all planned out, on Saturday both of you would have dinner with dad and Pepper, and tell him calmly.

The Friday before telling him the tower was empty, which had to have been a first for the place. You and Peter walked in planning to study but instead took the emptiness as a blessing.

"FRIDAY is anyone but us in the top floors."

"No Y/N."

"Where's my dad?"

"Your father is at a SHIELD meeting across town and not set to be back until 8 pm." It was only 4 pm.

"Pete, my room?" you said not even waiting for a response. The two of you ran to your room like the teenagers you are.

While at the beginning of your relationship Peter was nervous about kissing you, now was a completely different story. The minute the two of you made it to your room he had you pressed up against the door with his mouth moving ferociously against yours. You could practically hear your heartbeat thumping out of your chest. One hand of his was pressed against the wall, the other holding your hip. The groan that came out of his mouth when you broke for air sent shivers down your spine. You pulled at his shirt, wanting it off but not having a clear enough mind to convey that to him with words. He got the hint though and threw it across the room before hoisting you up and carrying you to your bed.

You loved Pete for who he was, but the muscles in his chest were just the icing on top. As you kissed your hands mapped every inch of his body. He was all yours. In a moment of bravery, you rolled over so that you could be on top of him, straddling his hips, and removed your top. Not wanting to waste a moment you met his lips again and started to slowly grind on him, releasing little moans of pleasure. The door to your room then swung open suddenly.

"Hey Y/N, I got out early and was thinking-AHHH" your dad screamed and you tried to cover both you and Peter but the damage was already done.

"CLOTHES ON, LIVING ROOM NOW," he said walking away. Poor Peter looked as white as a ghost.

Walking into the living room you see your dad sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Peter is right behind you and your dad calls Pepper on FRIDAY. You awkwardly wait for her to come, but secretly are glad to have an adult on your side. When Pepper enters she looks between you, Peter and your dad before saying

"I thought we were waiting until tomorrow." You try and motion for her to not finish the sentence but she did.

"YOU KNEW?" dad yells. "YOU KNEW THEY WERE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME. SHE'S MY KID AND HE WAS CORRUPTING HER."

"Uh Mr. Stark, I didn't do anything she didn't want to. In fact, she was liking it very much." Peter stutters.

"PETE SHUT UP" you yell. Your face is the color of a tomato and you swear that this is the single most embarrassing moment of your life. Dad points at Peter, then you.

"I- nope. This isn't going to happen."

"Tony, this has been happening." Pepper chimes in.

"How long?" when nobody goes to speak he asks again. "How long!?"

"4 months" you mumble.

Then dad looks at Pepper, "How long have you known?"

"Since before she realized she even liked him," she says smugly.

"Mr. Stark I-"

"No, zip it not another word from you. I need a minute" he says. Everyone then goes quiet and all look at your dad. After a minute or so he finally speaks. "Okay, but if I see what I saw again, or I see any sort of prequel to it then I will kill him." You smile and hug Peter. "What did I JUST say?"

"DAD it was a HUG"

After your dad found out things eventually went back to normal. As normal as they could be at least with having a dad as Iron Man, and a boyfriend as a part spider superhero. Dad and Peter seemed to get over the awkwardness after a few weeks. Although you did have to hear both of them complain about the other more frequently. Being a mediator when they fought over what movie was better was actually physically draining. Maybe this was an unconventional life, but you wouldn't trade it for the world.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x stark!reader #stark!reader #spiderman #spiderman x reader #marvel fluff #marvel one shot #one shot

300 notes · View notes

spn-ficfanatic · 6 years

Text

Halo- Chapter 1

SPN-FICFANATIC MASTERLIST

"HALO” MASTERLIST - CHAPTER TWO - CHAPTER THREE

Fic Summary: You’ve lived next door to Jensen and Jared for a year and have had a somewhat strained relationship. After a recent and massive change in your life your paths cross again and they discover the cause of that, and bridges start to mend in unexpected ways.

Characters: Jensen x Reader, Jared x Platonic!Reader

Chapter 1 Words: 2664

Genre: Angst mostly

Warnings: Swearing (the reader is a bit of a pottymouth). Blood.

Trigger Warning: Descriptions of domestic violence.

A/N: I’ve had this one on the backburner for soooo long, you have no idea! I probably finished it 6 months ago and have just had it sitting in my WIP folder trying to get up the motivation to post it. I hope you all enjoy :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Their neighbour had been complaining about their “loud” music all year, so when your music started blaring through the wall separating your apartments Jared and Jensen could only look incredulously at each other.

“Is she kidding?” Jared snapped, pausing the game and putting his controller down.

“It’s pretty unusual,” Jensen commented, doing the same and looking at the wall separating them from you. They could hear shuffling against the wall also, not a sound they were familiar so they were having trouble placing it.

“What do you think?” Jared asked with a frown.

“I think she’s been pissy at us all year for our loud music, and then the first day off we have in a week to play video games she blasts hers? No deal,” Jensen replied with a huff, putting his controller on the ground and standing up. Jared followed him as they walked out the door and headed to yours, knocking loudly to try and get your attention. They weren’t normally the “mean neighbours” but your incessant irritation at their music choice, asking them to turn it down when it was already as low as human ears could hear, was tipping them over the edge.

The woman they expected to see when the door opened was not the prim and proper uptight Y/N they were familiar with though. Your hair was in low pigtails and you were dressed in a simple white t-shirt and overalls, and for once you had a smile on your face. The usual caked-on make up was gone too, showing off your actual face for the first time.

“Oh, hi guys!” you greeted them with a wide smile which lit up your entire face. Jared and Jensen just gaped as they stared at you, stunned by your unexpected look and demeanour change.

“Is everything o… Oh shit, I’m so sorry my music!” you realised with a gasp, taking your phone out of your pocket and turning the volume down, activating your Bluetooth speaker in the middle of the room. “Shit, I’m so sorry, that must have been so loud on your side. There was a quiet song and I turned it up and then I forgot and the next song played and I just kinda got into the rhythm and… sorry, I’m rambling.”

“Umm, yer,” Jensen replied, clearing his throat to try and form coherent sentences.

“It’s err, it’s fine. We’re just trying to play Xbox, you know, and …” Jared started but you cut him off.

“And my music interrupted you, of course. I can’t apologise enough, especially after how I’ve acted this whole time. Actually, hang on, I have something for you guys,” you said, suddenly disappearing to what they presumed was your kitchen. They poked their heads in and saw the floor was covered in tarp, and a bucket of water and a sponge mop were leaning against the wall you shared. Jared was about to comment when you suddenly reappeared, practically bouncing into the door frame holding a large basket.

“This is for you guys, just a little something to say ‘sorry’ and ‘I hope we can start over’,” you said clearly embarrassed, handing them the basket and backing up a step.

“Um, wow, this is… unexpected,” Jared commented, looking at Jensen who for some reason couldn’t take his eyes off you. He nudged his shoulder, knocking him out of whatever world he was in and stared pointedly at the basket to bring it to his attention.

“Err yer, Mrs Y/L/N isn’t it?”

“Oh god, please call me Y/N. And you’re Jared and you’re Jensen so that’s the introductions out of the way. And it’s nothing really, I know I’ve been hard to live next to this year. For what it’s worth I think you have brilliant taste in music! But my husband, well, ex-husband now. Wow, I don’t know if I’ll get used to saying that. Anyway, he had this thing about music, he liked what he liked and damn anyone else you know? And anyway he’d, sorta, send me over whenever he wanted you to turn it down. It’s shit really cuz I couldn’t listen to music any other time but if I didn’t go over he’d, well, anyway… I’m sorry is basically what I’m saying, you know?”

You took a breath to fill your lungs after your ramblings, and Jared and Jensen watched on with wide eyes.

“Wow ok, yer, it’s fine. Really, don’t worry about it,” Jensen stumbled out, scratching the back of his head and looking at you in concern. Jared’s attitude had also taken a complete 180, and he also watch you with a worried expression on his face.

“This is… you really didn’t have to. It’s nice that you did, maybe you could come over tomorrow and we could share the goodies?” Jared suggested with a small smile, hoping you would agree. They were both saddened when you shook your head.

“Nah, it’s ok. I mean, it’d be great to have a beer sometime but I sorta have plans.”

“You’re not talking about painting the walls are you? Because I promise we’re a lot more fun than literally watching paint dry,” Jensen said with a lopsided smirk and you let out a giggle.

“I hope you are. And yes, I AM painting but this is kinda, well, it’s dumb. It’s a bit like therapy I suppose. I always hated this colour, HE picked it out so I just need to change it like now, you know?” you asked, blushing a little and hoping you didn’t sound like a crazy person.

“I get it, makes total sense,” Jensen replied with a genuine smile, hoping to put you at ease. “We’ll let you get back to it, if you like.”

“And you know where we are if you feel like a beer or something ok?” Jared added, shuffling his hand out from under the basket to pat his hand on your shoulder. You smiled at the friendly action and swallowed down the tears that you could feel coming to the surface. You nodded and gave a small wave before slowly shutting the door and turning back to face your mission for the weekend.

“Well, THAT was unexpected,” Jensen said once they were back in their apartment.

“No shit, and what about that crap with her husband? Did you have any idea?” Jared asked, putting the basket down on the kitchen counter. Jensen shook his head.

“Nah. God, how did we never notice? I mean, looking back she was never around, you know? And the rambling? It was almost like she was worried we’d interrupt her before she finished or something.”

“It sucks man, I reckon we go over with breakfast or something tomorrow. Let her know we’re cool.”

Jensen nodded, deep in thought. He couldn’t help but look back over the last year since you and your husband had moved in, and the little signs started to become more obvious. The long sleeves in summer, the fact you never left the house only to water the lawn and get the mail. Christ, you even had a black eye once.

“Fuck man… are we idiots?” Jensen asked sadly, flopping down on the couch before Jared joined him.

“I’m starting to wonder that myself.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your basket of goodies turned out to be entirely home-made. Biscuits, croissants, muffins, a pie…. It basically turned their kitchen into a bakery. And each bite the guys took only caused further guilt to pile on. Both went to bed that night feeling uneasy, both vowing to themselves to make sure they reached out and looked out for you.

It was an unwelcome turn of events that the following morning Jared was called into set. They were supposed to have the day off however they needed a shot and they needed it ASAP. Jared grabbed a muffin on the way out the door at 8am, leaving a note for Jensen explaining he’d be back “sometime after lunch (hopefully). PS. Don’t eat all the pie. PPS. I mean it Jay, don’t.”.

Jensen would have loved a sleep-in but his mind had been racing since 7:30am from the events of the previous afternoon. He’d heard the muffled conversation from Jared’s room and made the correct assumption he was headed to the set, but opted to stay in bed instead of getting up and being forced into conversation at such an early time. A shower and a cup of coffee later, Jensen was ready to face the day of basically doing nothing. His gaming buddy was out for the count and he didn’t have any scripts to read through. When the soft sound of music floated through the air he smiled and headed for the door, before remembering what you’d said. This was your therapy, and you didn’t need him interrupting that. He groaned in annoyance and picked up the Xbox controller, throwing in Halo 3 for the hundredth time.

It was around 10am that he heard the unmistakable sound of a gasp followed by swearing. Hitting the mute button he tried to figure out the problem before racing over and embarrassing himself over a stubbed toe.

“Fucking shitballs! Ahhh ok, shit, you’re ok Y/N. Just a bit of blood, you’re fine…” you muttered to yourself, and at the mention of blood Jensen was already up and out the door.

The blood was starting to spread across your shirt, and you were limping to the bathroom for the first aid kit when a loud pounding came to the door. You were startled, but calmed down when you heard Jensen on the other side calling your name. You took a deep shaky breath and headed over to the door and opened it just slightly, enough to block his view of your bleeding abdomen.

“Jensen, hey, how’s it going?” you asked quickly and with a strained smile, holding your stomach out of his view.

“Is everything ok? I thought I heard swearing,” he said rushed, concerned plastered over his face. You sighed and closed your eyes before resting your head on the door, berating yourself internally for bothering him.

“Shit, I’m sorry about that. I’m fine really, you can go back to Halo…”

“No I think maybe I- wait, how did you know I was playing Halo?” Jensen cut you off, looking at you confused. You laughed.

“I think we’ve established at this juncture that the walls are paper thin Jensen. I’ve played 1 and 2 and recognise the music. You suck at it by the way, I can hear your terrible aim from here” you giggled, standing up straight again and enjoying the gentle banter you seemed to have quickly developed. Jensen laughed too, happy to see your eyes light up if only for a moment. The moment passed quickly though when he spotted the blood on your shirt, and he gently pushed the door open further to get a better look.

“Shit Y/N, your stomach,” he mumbled as he reached out to lift your shirt. You stepped back with surprise at the sudden physical contact and he apparently picked up on that.

“I mean… God, I’m sorry Y/N. I’m just worried, can I please check your stomach? I’d never forgive myself if you bled out after I went back to gaming,” he told you, lifting his hands into a surrender pose to show he meant you no harm.

You bit the corner of your lip, sizing him up and down. He was a big strong guy and you were alone in your apartment with him, but he had proved himself nice enough so far so perhaps it was worth the risk. You nodded slowly and pointed to the bathroom.

“First aid kit is in the vanity, I’m just gonna...” you gestured to the couch while he headed to the restroom for the bandages. By the time you were seated he was back, kneeling on the floor in front of you and opening the bag.

“What happened?” he asked as he rummaged through, looking for the antiseptic.

“Um, popped a stitch I would wager,” you replied quietly, looking down into your lap embarrassed. He looked at you confused as you gently lifted your shirt and peeled back the blood-soaked dressing to reveal the wound on your stomach. A couple of inches long, it looked red and angry and Jensen’s heart broke a little when he laid eyes on it.

“Shit Y/N, what happened?” he asked again.

“I guess you guys were out a few nights ago?”

“Um, yer, we’ve been on set late all week.”

“You missed all the excitement then, kind of explains your coming over yesterday looking like deer in headlights,” you sighed. “Michael, err, my husband… EX husband. We got into an argument while he was chopping up vegetables for dinner. Apparently the dishes don’t go in like I put them in and he could only tell me so many times and one thing lead to another and, well, let’s just say I gave Mrs Krandle across the road a mini-heart attack when I stumbled from the house bleeding,” you rambled, shutting your mouth quickly after your confession. Jensen stared at you with his mouth agape, astonished with what you just told him.

“Um… shit. That’s-”

“Fucked, yer. In a way it’s good though. It got him out of my life and the police reckon he’ll be going to prison for some time. And you know, I’m not dead so that’s always a good thing. And hey, I can stack the dishes anyway I like now so yey for that bit of freedom,” you laughed, trying to make light of the situation but when your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes Jensen could tell you were putting up a front.

“Hey,” he said, lifting your face to look at him. Your eyes were glistening and you were swallowing hard, trying to keep the tears at bay. “There is nothing ok about any of this. And I’m sorry we never noticed. We feel like such idiots for leaving you to deal with him.”

“Oh God, please don’t blame yourself. I literally don’t think I could take that, please,” you begging him, the dam overflowing and the tears falling freely now. “He was smart enough to only hurt me when he knew you were out. He was manipulative and cruel and a complete douchebag and I was too blind to realise he was playing me like a fucking fiddle. And now even after he’s gone I’m jumping at every noise and every shadow in the corner of my eye, and the damn music can never be loud enough to shut up the voices telling me I’m not good enough and that he was the only one who would want me and-”

“Y/N stop,” Jensen said firmly and you pursed your lips shut, blushing when you realised how much you’d revealed.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, this was absolutely not meant to turn into an episode of Ricki Lake or anything. You can go, I can handle this I promise,” you told him, moving to grab the antiseptic wipe packet Jensen had yet to open. He pulled it back and stared at you with worry in his eyes.

“Not a chance. Just… lay back and I’ll fix you up. And then if you want to we can talk about all that crap, or we can go next door and play Halo together. Whatever you want… Deal?”

You nodded timidly, and decided silence was golden while letting him clean you up. After declaring further stitches were not required he gently wrapped a bandage around your waist and stood up to put the first aid kit away. When he returned he looked at you, not with pity but with determination.

“So, it’s up to you. We can hang out here and talk, or you can come next door and play Xbox. Painting is so completely off the table. What do you want to do?”

Chapter Two coming soon

SPN-FICFANATIC MASTERLIST

"HALO” MASTERLIST - CHAPTER TWO - CHAPTER THREE

Tag Lists (Open) Halo Series taglist: @ocean-waves-that-misbehave, @flamencodiva @krys198478, @lostnnot2befound, @deansyahtzee “Dean/Jensen” taglist: @lilydarcy (won’t tag *SOB*) “Everything” taglist: @angelsandwinchesters, @grace-for-sale, @growningupgeek, @iamnotsaneatall, @nanie5, @waywardasfudge, @ronja-uebrick, @im-dead-inside05, @julzdec, @adoptdontshoppets, @meghanbeinghappy

122 notes · View notes

proxylynn · 5 years

Text

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #19

Chapter 19: Progress WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Once in Sans room, I keep my word in behaving as we dine on what tastes like Papyrus's best version of lasagna to date. There is no sound during this time apart from the occasional gulp or sound of satisfaction. I let him have his peace as needed. Poor guy needs it. He puts up with so much and much of it is because of me. Some quiet time is the least I can do. "so..." He tosses his empty plate to slide across the floor. "ya got something in your pocket or are ya just happy to see me?" I suppose he's ready to chat now. I set my scraps aside and stand up with a smirk. "A little bit of both, Sansy-boy. But mostly just a surprise." I pull the bottle of mustard and shot glasses out of my pockets. He looks surprised. "heh...these types of surprises i could get used to." "I told you you'd like this." I sit down beside him and pour him a glass, making him look at me funny. "What's that look for?" "there are two glasses." "Yeah?" He snorts. "you're gonna drink with me?" I shrug. "Sure, why not. Wouldn't be the first time I've drank a condiment for the hell of it." He sniffs the glass as I pour my own. "uh...where did ya get this stuff?" "I took from one of the ones in the back of the fridge. I figured the colder the better. Why? Did it go bad?" He's still for a moment...then...he grins. "no, this is fine." He downs the glass with ease. "see? go on. try it." My prank sense is tingling but I choose to ignore it and shoot the yellow stuff down in a quick go. "Woohoo...That is tangy." "well?" "Honestly...Not bad." "how about we do a little test." "A test?" "to see if you can really handle this. how about every time i drink, you drink as well." "Dude, it's just mustard. I can handle it." He smirks as he drinks and I do the same as per his little test rule. "heh...this is gonna be a fun night." Now my foreshadow sense tingles and I put the pieces together. "This is the alcoholic mustard, isn't it?" The playful smile that teases his skull is all he needs to say. I sigh and pour us more mustard. "Well...I know I have no tolerance. But let's see if I can hold it better." He cocks his brow. "is that a challenge?" "Let's call it a test." "oh, you are so gonna regret this. there's no way in hell you can hold your own against me." "We shall see, good buddy." We clink glasses and drink. "so...was this your plan all along or did pap send ya up here?" I refill our glasses. "I came to you for many reasons. Talk is one, the drink is another, and your bro is also on the list. So what dumb thing did big mouth say this time?" He scoffs. "he was talking shit that he had no right to say, let's leave it at that." "Typical Papyrus." "yep." "Do you maybe...?" "no." "Just checking." We drink and I pour once more into our empty glasses. "so what happened with the whole mettaton calling you thing?" I swirl my glass a little. "It was awkward." "how awkward?" "Like we might need more mustard awkward." I down my drink and he shakes his head. "great. more crap to deal with." "It gets crappier." He groans and shoots his glass. "i'll be back." "More mustard?" "yep." Sans teleports and returns to his spot after a bit with armloads of mustard bottles. "is this enough to drown the awkwardness?" I blink a couple of times before smiling. "For the record, I have been told I'm a very honest drunk. So...You might get more than you bargain for." He hands me a bottle. "i think i can handle it." "No more glasses?" "get on my level, kiddo. or can you not handle it?" I glare playfully and put my glass down before taking his offered bottle. "Oh, you are so on, skele-dude. But on one condition." "what's that?" "For the rest of the night stop calling me kid or kiddo." "only if you don't call me sansy-boy." "Deal. Now...Let's drink till we don't feel feelings anymore!" "here-here!" We tap bottles together and drink. [Ten minutes later] "...So then, get this, he starts faking the call is breaking up and hangs up while saying 'see you soon'. I swear he's gonna pull some other stunt that ends with my butt in Hotland." I drink as Sans scoffs. "over my dead body." I snicker. "As a skeleton...Aren't you already a dead body?" He blanks for a moment before he stifles a chuckle. "heh...that was bad." "Whoa...Talking skeleton. You are blowing my mind." He punches my shoulder playfully. "shut up and drink, dummy." "Who are you calling dummy? I am far from being a manually articulated performative Kinesio maquette." "...i don't know if i should be impressed you can say that while drunk." "That feeling will be gone soon." "why?" "Because I think I'm tipsy enough to laugh at even the most juvenile thing." "...boner?" Mustard snorts out my nose as I was in mid-drink when he said that. "Ahhh...It burns!" He laughs his ass off as I blow the remnants onto my shirt. "Oh, you are so gonna get it now." [Twenty minutes later] "hey, mind if i try out a few bar jokes on ya? i get the feeling grillz is gonna need a distraction when he eventually sees your face." "Sure. I think we both don't want him having a meltdown." Sans chugs his third bottle a moment. "what did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?" "I give. What did it he say?" "please, no stories." "Meh. Needs a rewrite to be a bestseller. Try again." "what did the bartender say after charles dickens ordered a martini?" "What?" "olive or twist?" I have to stop and think about that a moment. "Clever. Not sure how many would know that reference down here." "what do you get when you mix an english class with alcohol?" "Hmmm?" "tequila mockingbird." "Ah. Very nice." "then why aren't ya laughing?" "Dunno. Maybe my head is just bubbly enough that the stupid stuff makes me a giggling idiot." "so if i say the word duty...?" I snicker. "You said duty." He groans. "fine then, little miss tipsy, why don't you say some?" I shrug and drink halfway into my second bottle. "Why did Mexicans create tequila?" He eyes me a moment. "why?" "So ugly people would have a chance at having sex." He nearly chokes on his breath from that. "Too much?" "no...just...i never expect the dirty stuff from you for some reason." "But it's a good joke, right?" "yeah! tell me another one." "Oh. Okay...um...What is the difference between an alcoholic and drunk?" "what?" "A drunk drinks until they pass out. An alcoholic drinks till the house burns down with them in it." "that actually happened once down here." "Really?" "yeah. and in waterfall or all places." I giggle. "I have one more." "go for it." "Alcohol doesn't turn people into somebody they're not. It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves." He pauses and stares at the bottle in his hand. "getting philosophical on me now?" "Maybe. Just was something that popped into my head." "meh. no biggie. they all can't be funny." "True. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs." He looks at me funny. "are you okay?" I guzzle the remains of my bottle and drop it on the floor. "Dude, I am feeling good right now and it's awesome. Got any more jokes?" He cocks his brow and slowly hands me another bottle. "okay... a man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket. he does this over and over again. finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterward looks into his pocket. the man responded, i have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home." The giggles leave me with ease. "That's a good one. I knew you could do it." He smiles a little. "a guy talks with his friend about his marriage. the man says, it's getting bad these days as my wife spends her evenings going around the bars of the city. the friends asks, is she an alcoholic? the man shakes his head and tells him, no she's looking for me." That got me laughing as we continue to drink. [Thirty minutes later] "what's worse than waking up at a party and finding a dick drawn on your face?" "What?" "finding out it was traced." "*giggles* Why are hurricanes normally named after women?" "heh...why?" "Because when they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them." "*chuckles* how do you make a pool table laugh?" "How?" "ya tickle its balls." "*snickers* What is Moby Dick's dad's name?" "heheh...what?" "Papa Boner!" "*laughs* oh, oh, wait...i got one...what do you call a dictionary on drugs?" "*chuckling* What?" "addictionary!" We crack up like the biggest fools after six bottles each. [Forty minutes later] Ten bottles down and things are not like how this started. Not at all. "*sniffling* w-why is he such an asshole? i can't help that i have 1 HP. he doesn't have to throw it in my face." "Shhhhh...I know. He's just lashing out. He doesn't mean to hurt you." "*sniffling* then...then what is he trying to do?" I hold Sans close and rest his head on my shoulder. "I'm sure he thinks of it as a form of 'tough love'. Pushing you to do better through negativity. That, if he pushes you hard enough, you'll force yourself to do things like him. Or at least try." "but i do try! *weep* i try and i try...i try so damn hard...he has no idea what i do or what i've been going through." "Let it out, buddy. I'm here for you." He clings to me rather tightly, his claw-like fingertips digging in. Good thing I can't feel pain right now. "day after day, i work myself to the bone. for him. for all monsters. for the whole dam universe. and all i want in return is one small nod of approval or thanks. but what do i get? that's not enough, sans! work harder, sans! stop being so lazy, sans! why are you so weak, sans?! nothing i do is ever enough for anyone!" "That's not true." "yes, it is! i don't even know why i bother trying anymore. i'll never be good enough for anyone. and yet i still have this twisted hope that somehow, someday, maybe he and i will act like real brothers. but i guess that's asking for too much. because i've tried everything. no matter how many resets...i've tried to make him proud...yet i just...i can't...*sobs*" He weeps with pain and it's so pure that I can feel my own eyes water. But I do my best to fight that feeling. He needs comfort more than another sobbing mess. I pull him onto my lap and move him around to have his chest to my own, his head nestled under my own. One of my hands rubs gently along his back while the other cradles the back of his skull, my thumb rubbing small circles on the smooth bone. "Sans..." "i'm scared, lynsie!" "Of what? I know you're stronger than anyone knows. I bet all the money on Earth you can beat the likes of Asgore and Papyrus at the same time. What possibly rattles your bones?" "that's just it. i have all this power but at what price? i'm losing my mind. i see things. i have near constant nightmares. i don't even feel like a real person most days. and it terrifies me. i'm not even scared of dying anymore. i'm scared that one day i'll have taken all i can take and give up. that i'll stop caring and do something stupid. that he'll push me to my breaking point and i'll have to live with the consequences of knowing i hurt my own brother. i can't live with myself if i do that. i just can't." He's shaking like a leaf about to fall. "You won't do it." "but what if i do?" "You won't." "how do you know?!" "Because you're too nice to kill anyone. Let alone Papyrus." "i ain't nice." "Yeah, you are. Otherwise, you would've killed me in an instant when the Black Soul had me." He flinches. "I'm not saying you can't kill. Anyone can. Even small children, which I find very disturbing how easy and okay they are with doing so. But you are strong enough to NOT do it. True power is not in how you use it...but how you choose not to. That is how I know you're good and will never harm Papyrus." He's quiet now. The tears are still coming but he's dead silent. "Wow...I got mushy there. Sorry if that was weird." "..." "Sans? Come on, buddy, say something." His grip suddenly gets harsher and he sits up, sitting on my legs to look me in the eyes. "you're wrong about me." Things feel intense all of a sudden. "Oh?" "i have killed before." I tilt my head. "In the past timelines? Who?" "frisk." My thinking gears are jammed with alcoholic mustard. I got no clue where this is going. "Why?" "...they killed my brother." And just like that, my brain decides to shut down. "W-What?" "you heard me. that kid killed my brother. but not just pap. they killed everybody. even me." Trying to process this on a messed up mind hurts. "Um...b-but...They were just a kid, right? W-Why would they...?" "do ya really think i haven't asked that very question? to this day, that kid haunts me. not like you with chara. that's a whole other weird ass thing." "But..." "you said it yourself, kids are disturbingly easy with their ability to kill. is it really so hard to believe that kid could be genocidal enough to fuck up the timeline of the entire world?" "Just a little bit. But when magic is involved, it's easier to agree in the possibility than not to." "believe me. that kid...i've lost track of the number of timelines that were made and destroyed. the number of times i've had to fight that kid. the times i've killed that kid and they came back and killed me. *wearily* the times where they spared everyone and brought us to the surface...only to cruelly reset everything back to this hellhole. *sad* it wouldn't be so bad if i could forget it all like everybody else. living with all these memories. seeing the faces of people dying flash randomly before me day in and day out. never knowing if one day, any and all progress made will just be undone by the will of some fucking kid!" He's shaking so hard now, both in despair and rage. I know he hates it, but I see no other option in trying to settle him. I hug this emotional skeleton and hug him tight. I want him to feel safe. Much to my surprise, he doesn't fight this. He just goes limp against me. Feeling bad, I nuzzle his skull softly. "...what are ya doing?" "Well, I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't try to make you feel better." "you know i hate hugs." "Embrace the friendship, Sans. Because as long as I'm here, I'm gonna do what I can to replace those bad times with good stuff." "you're such a dork." "A dork that wants to be your best buddy. Well...second best to Grillby. I can't compete with someone so awesome." "that is true." "So? What do ya say, buddy?" He huffs into my neck. "you're only being this way because of the booze." "You know me better than to believe that. I'm just as nice without drink influence." "really?" "Okay...I'm nice to the ones I like. Better?" "...booze really does make ya honest." "Don't forget stupidly lovable." "not the words i'd used but...sure, why not." "*gasp* Really?!" "eh, you're not so bad...for a human." "Oh, Sans!" Playfully I plant a big smooch on his forehead and he snarls but it doesn't seem as threatening. "don't ruin the moment. i'm starting to actually feel better." I smile and shut my trap, returning to rubbing this back. It's really neat how he's able to fill his clothes. There is, of course, a lot of empty slack in the midsection but when you got a hollow body that's no shocker. Much like his fingertips, the ridges of his spinal bones are sharp and curve like shark fins. "mmmm...that feels nice. do ya know these bones too?" "I think I might. Just...give my head a moment to think straight." My head hurts trying to think of these things while inebriated. "Ugh...If I remember right...There are thirty-one spinal cord nerve segments." My hand starts at the very top under the base of his skull. "There should be eight cervical segments..." I count my way down each bone. "Then twelve thoracic segments..." He sighs pleasantly, almost like a coo, and I blush a bit. "Then there are five lumbar segments..." I stop following the bone trail because I don't want to kill this good time by feeling his bony ass. "What's left is five sacral segments and one coccygeal segment." He makes this odd sound that doesn't sound bad but is still weird to me before suddenly putting his arms around my neck in a tired way. "you make a good pillow." God, he's adorable like this. "lynsie..." "Yes?" "can i be honest with ya for a sec?" "Sure." He makes himself cozy. "now, this might be the booze talking or my good mood, but...i'm glad you came to the underground." Was that...genuine sentiment? The feels. It makes my eyes water and my heart hurt. I'm not used to someone showing actual care without a motive before. And in this current emotional flux going on in me, well, something doesn't quite connect properly. [Error. Lynsie.exe has suffered a crash. Please reboot to repair.] [Rebooting start...6% complete.] Mentally, my lights are off and yet I'm still fully aware of what's going on. He notices my lack of movement and looks up at me. "yo, you okay?" [Rebooting...18% complete.] Well, this is new. I've had breakdowns before. But this is just silly. "hey, come on. don't make me regret saying that. not like it matters anyway since you won't remember." [Rebooting...34% complete.] Is this what a coma is like? It's freaky. Like I'm a living doll. This feeling increases when he snaps his fingers in my face and my reaction time in blinking is extremely slow. "wait a sec...this isn't the booze, is it?" [Rebooting...52% complete.] "can you even talk?" That is a good question. All that I can manage to force out is a slight wheeze. This makes him laugh hard enough that he rolls off me and teleports for some more mustard. "now this is funny. you're so messed up you actually crashed. i haven't seen someone crashed in ages." [Rebooting...79% complete.] He returns and plops down sleepily beside me, already guzzling the bottle. "i guess this means i win our little game. because this is the last one and i ain't getting any more." [Rebooting...100% complete.] [Restarting ...now.] I blink rapidly as life returns to my brain. "Whoa...Dude...That was trippy as hell." He snickers. "just be glad it happened here and not out in town. crashing in public around the wrong people has lead to a lot of easy kills. or so i've been told." "Wait, so that's a normal thing that happens down here?" "kind of. like i said, it's been a while since i've seen it happen." "Then what causes it?" "no one knows. my guess is that it happens when something clashes with what the person is used to." Huh...Makes sense I guess. He's about to finish off that last bottle when I put my hand out. "what?" "Can I have some?" "no way. this is mine." "I just want one sip." "i said no." "Please? I'll take the remains. I just want something to wet my whistle." He snorts. "what are ya? some old-timer in a saloon?" "What do I need to do to get a sip?" He pauses for thought. "well...nah. you'd never do that." "What?" He looks at me, then the bottle, and then back to me with a smirk slowly forming. "how bad do you want some of this?" I look at him funny. "don't give me that look. i ain't no perv. i only mean to offer you a dare." "...I'm listening." That smirk of his grows. "i'll let ya have the rest of the bottle, if...you can keep from laughing at one last little joke." "...That's it?" "that's it." "Okay...What's the joke?" "heh...what do you call a skeleton with benefits?" I tilt my head and shrug. "I dunno." He motions me to lean in closer and doing so lets him whisper in my ear rather huskily. "a bone buddy~." The urge to giggle is almost stronger than the weird 'what the fuck' feeling his tone gave me or the suggestive wink he gives me when he pulls away. Just when my head comes up with something to say as a result of this, he starts to snicker and slaps his knee. "heheheh...oh man...you should see your face right now. oooooh, that was so worth it. here. it's yours." He hands me the bottle. I just look at him and then the bottle before looking back at him. "what?" "Gonna be honest here...I...I can't tell if you were really joking." He grins like a saucy Cheshire cat. "maybe i did. or maybe i didn't. the world may never know, kitten. now are ya gonna drink or not?" This is a weird moment. But a rare one. And my bubbled brain isn't sure what to do other than drink. "Don't make this weird, Sans." I take the bottle and drink. "weird? this ain't weird. wanna see something really weird?" "...You have my attention, good sir." This night is just going to get odder the longer it goes. [Many hours and lots of empty mustard bottles later] Sans's senses fought with themselves on whether or not to wake up. It has been a long time since he slept this soundly and this peacefully. The mattress wasn't lumpy. The pillow cushioned his face just right. A soothing warmth that evenly spread throughout his bones as no blanket has before. The only things that were drawing him to the waking side of the force were this sweet musky smell and a soft wheezing sound that randomly came to him that made the bed vibrate. Wait...vibrate? Come to think of it, since when did his mattress move at all? Slowly he reluctantly opens his eyes and instantly regrets doing so. He wasn't laying on his mattress and his head was definitely not on his pillow. Not only was he laying on top of the human, not only was his shirt off, not only was his face resting atop her grand tetons, but he found his soul was out and pressing into her. His skull burns bright red and he teleports halfway across the room in a cold sweat then forces his soul to return. What the fuck happened? How much did he drink last night? [BANG BANG BANG] Already on edge, the door being attacked didn't help. Though to his surprise, the human didn't wake up. "SANS! WAKE YOUR LAZY ASS UP!" "i'm up, pap!" "OH...WELL...GOOD." Papyrus walks away and Sans does his best to settle down. As uncomfortable as this was, he was grateful that she was still out. Though in the back of his mind he did wonder why. Gaster is a likely reason. She did tell him that they had this weird deal of sorts. Dumb girl has no clue what she's doing. Casting thoughts of the human aside, mostly because they were making him incredibly uncomfortable, Sans gathers his clothing for the day and heads for the bathroom. He needed a cold shower to reset himself. Damn woman is getting to him. How else could he explain how he woke up? He never would be that comfortable around her unless he was wasted. Sans is no pushover to the hard effects of booze, but even he would be susceptible to alcohol after a limit was met. It was under such influence that Drunk Bun took advantage and caused the gross amount on his tab. It's something he made Grillby promise to not let happen again. But this wasn't the bar. This was at home. And she needs to go home. Out of the shower, fully dressed, and wishing the woman in his room would vanish, Sans ventures down to get some food in him before having to sit outside for the rest of the day in the elements. "what's to eat?" Papyrus just slides a plate of lasagna on the counter without a word. "pap?" Papyrus leaves the room with his own plate and Sans is confused. Papyrus being like this is unsettling in the morning. Maybe things were still off from last night? He did leave before Papyrus could make his shitty attempt at an apology. This could be interesting. If Papyrus felt something, other than his vanity and narcissism, it might be worth letting him stew in it for the day. With how often his brother made him feel like crap, it was karma long overdue for Papyrus to feel the same. With this scheme in mind, Sans adjourns to the living room to eat and go about the day without speaking to his brother. This silence lasts long after the eating is done and they leave the house. Nothing is none the wiser to their absence from the home. Not the slumbering flower. Nor the unconscious human. For long at least. [Some hours later] Wearily I come awake from a very deep dreamless sleep. Everything feels heavy. My eyelids are like sandbags and my limbs like lead bricks. I can't recall most of last night but I know if I don't get out of bed I'll either be yelled at or some other bullshit. I roll off the mattress and groan. I have never felt so lethargic in my life. But even laziness must give way to more important things. Like calling Toriel. [RING-RING] "Good afternoon, my child. I take you are calling to apologize." This confuses me. "Apologize?" "Do not play dumb with me, young one. You have failed to maintain your phone calls to me for the last, by this hour, two days." Wait...no...no her math is right. God damn, I have fucked up. "Nanny, I am so sorry..." "Save it. Once was bad enough. You are in big trouble, young lady." "Please don't start wigging out on me right now. I have had so much happen to me that I can't deal with you getting mad." I hear that telltale cracking when she gets upset and squeezes her phone. "Are you talking back to me?" I'm digging my own grave here. But I'm too fuzzy mentally to give a shit. "Why didn't you tell me about soul maturity?" Her side of the call gets a little garbled. She might have finally ruined her phone. "The irony of it all, Nanny, is that if you had told me about it I would've stayed home. Now I'm dealing with random surges in magic, emotional flipping, and I am losing my damn mind in hormones! And I'm doing all this around guys! It's fucking humiliating! But that's fine. Phone calls are more important than making sure this doesn't make the Black Soul come out more often and make me go on a genocidal killing spree. So go ahead. Reprimand me. Be mad. Meanwhile, I have to make sure a grumpy skeleton doesn't threaten my life while his brother makes jokes about it." "*crackling* I...You don't...Young one...Come home...I..." "Your phone is breaking up, Nanny. *sigh* I'm sorry I snapped. I love you, mom. I'll talk to you later." [CLICK] This is not how I wanted my day to start. With that done, I drag my heavy body to the door. Even reaching up for the knob feels like overexertion of energy but it can't be helped since I can't just stay in Sans's room all day. I actually consider tumbling down the stair for a moment till reasoning kicks in and I childishly crawl backward down them instead. "Lynsie? Are you okay?" Flowey looks at me funny as I yawn. "Dude, what time is it?" He shrugs. "I don't have a clock. But it's been super quiet since I woke up." I sigh. "Have you eaten yet?" "No." "So...It's quiet and no one feed you? *groan* They left us." It takes a minute for that to sink in and the wicked grin to smear my face. "They left us..." "We can finally get out of this crazy place and get back to Toriel!" "Yeah! We can leave...Snowdin..." Suddenly this doesn't feel as right as it should. "What's wrong? Why do you sound uncertain? You...You're not thinking we should stay...Are you?" I pick myself off the floor with a sour face. "I'm an idiot for this, but yeah. I'm second guessing it." Flowey is not happy and flails his leaves. "Are you out of your mind?! Do you actually like being beaten?" "No, of course not." "Then why are you second guessing this? We need to go home!" "I know that!" I rub my arm, rolling up the sleeve a bit more with each stroke. "But what if this is a trap? They are posted right outside of the Ruins and Sans can teleport. If we can't make it through those doors then everything else we've been through won't compare to the punishment that will come from fleeing." "But staying here is just as bad." This is a head scratcher. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I probably could slip past Papyrus, because those dogs are not a problem, but Sans is the real threat. If he knows I'm running he is more than capable of stopping me. Dude can stop time, summon laser skull cannons, manipulate gravity on souls, and who knows what else. I need to think this out more. "We're staying here, aren't we?" "...I didn't say that. But it's a good chance." "What about Napstablook? Are we ever going to see him?" A bad nervous habit I have when feeling stress is to claw myself. My nails dig into my skin and I drag them a couple of times. There's just so much on my mind and it makes me want to jump off the roof! "Lynsie?" I dig a little harder and one of the red welts trails a streak a crimson in its wake. "H-Hey! You're bleeding!" I don't even feel it. I just look at the blood before licking it away and fixing the sleeve, much to Flowey's disgust. "Flowey...Why do stay with me?" That threw him off a little. "Huh?" "You didn't have to come out of the Ruins with me. And you have a better opportunity to leave than me. So why? Why do you stay if you want to go so damn badly?" He's stunned slightly. "I...I can't leave you here alone." "Why not?" "Why not? What do you mean why not?" "I mean, you don't have to stick around. I'm not your problem." "But..." "The ground should connect from here to the Ruins. You should be able to make it back with no issue." "I'm not leaving you here." "Fine then. You can stay. I'm going out." I head for the door. "Wait...Where are you going?" "I need a drink" "The fridge is the other way." "It doesn't have what I need." I walk out and head for Grillby's, but I pop back in for one last thought. "I'll be back later. And maybe...I'll be brave for us both." He looks confused as I shut the door with a sigh and continue on my way to the bar. I don't intend to do any hard drinking. I think I'm still feeling it from the mustard last night. All I want is to talk with a close someone. He seems to get me even when I don't. I just hope today is a slow day and the usual guests are feeling like home is where they want to drink. The door to the pub feels heavier to me, probably due to that tired feeling from earlier, and I keep my head low as I enter. "Pussycat!" Grillby's voice has an emotion I'm not used to hearing. He has the voice of someone that's happy to see me. It makes me smile. "Where were you? When they didn't come in today I was thinking the worst happened." There are a few patrons in here, about two or four that I see. They see what I'm trying to hide before he does and he only sees it when I take my seat at the bar. But I know he's pissed by how hot it gets. "A loaded omelet and strawberry milk please." Grillby leans on the bar and grabs my chin, making me look up at him to better see the damage. His eyes narrow. "Is this what happens when you 'handle it'?" I glare weakly. "I'm not talking about this out here. But no, this was something else. Papyrus did this." Smoke escapes the sides of his mouth. "Open your mouth." I sigh through my nose. "The tooth is chipped if you thought you saw something odd." He growls low and deep. "Say the word and I'll make sure he won't touch you again." I won't lie, knowing he's willing to defend me is attractive as hell. But nothing good cones from impulsive actions. I take his hand off my face and hold it in both of mine. "You are my knight in burning armor, Sir Grillby of flame." I kiss his hand and the sudden sweetness mellows him out a bit. "Heh...Buttering me up won't change the subject, pussycat." "Not trying to. Just lowering your burner a little before you overheat." He smiles a little and calms down, his temperature getting less intense. "Thank you, Grillz." "I meant what I said, Lynsie. I'll make him stop. You don't have to put up with this." "I know. But I...*groan* It's complicated." He frowns. "Will you at least talk about it with me?" Oh, Grillby...There is so much I want to say and yet so much I can not. "Yeah. Just...let me get a little comfortable before I do." That lifts his spirits up and he kisses my forehead. "Take your time, dear. I'll be back with your breakfast." Grillby heads to the kitchen and can't help but feel lucky that I know him. If I had known someone like him was down here I would've jumped a hell of a lot sooner. The guy is kind, caring, understanding, and was willing to lay down his life to protect me...at least in that dead timeline he did. Mmmm...It doesn't hurt that he's hot too. Those glasses and that uniform of his. I don't know if these feeling started because of that dream I had but right now I'm glad to have them. Zoned in these thoughts, I fail to notice his return and nearly jump when the plate clatters on the bar. "Daydreaming, pussycat? Hope I didn't interrupt anything interesting~." I snicker to hide the small blush that threatens to show. "Maybe. I do believe it was about this really hot guy. Maybe you know him?" He smirks while he makes my drink. "Maybe I do. What does this hot guy look like?" "Look in a mirror." He chuckles with a small blush. "If I didn't know any better, pussycat, I'd think you were flirting with me." I shrug. "I could be. Or you're just wishfully thinking." He puts the finished glass down in front of me and grins. "You're in a playful mood, pussycat. Is this your way of stepping up our game?" I take my milk and sip it. "I'll let you know when I'm ready for that, Grillz." "Heh...Playing it cool? Fine by me. But just so you know..." He leans in by my ear. "I'm ready for when you want to heat things up~." He backs away smugly and moves on to doing work while I get all flustered. Damn smooth talking flirty fire hottie. Making me all goofy and dorky looking. I hope my burning cheeks offset some of these dark bruises, I doubt it though. But this game of ours, it needs some evening out, he's got more points over me and I don't like that. No...I think it's time to step up my skills. But how? I eat my omelet and think this over. There's got to be a way to mess with him. Something he wouldn't expect from me. By the time I've finished eating the few patrons that were here surprisingly left the bar. "Where'd everybody go?" "It's a mandatory thing in town that once a month the guard takes count of the population. Everyone lines up outside their home for the census. Shopkeepers can remain in their place of business but must leave their doors open." "Oh. ...Fuck." I chug the remaining milk and take my dishes as I hide behind the bar with him. This confuses him but Grillby is a smart man, he figures it out with ease. "They don't know you're here, do they?" I shake my head as the door's bell rings with someone's entrance to the bar. "*whisper* Keep still and doesn't make a sound." I nod and he walks around to meet this guardsman. "What can I do for you, Doggo?" "You know how this goes. Same thing every time." There's a click sound, a pen maybe. "All this normal crap is out of the way. Gotta love it when you can auto-fill more than half this crap without asking." "Makes things easier when nothing ever changes." "I hear that. Speaking of which...Any new additions to your current living space?" "Such as?" "You know. That girl you mess with. She moved in with you?" There's a faint crackling sound. "H-How fast do you think I move on someone?" "I don't know. The way you two go at it I was betting you managed to snag her and had that bone on locked down." "What?" "Yeah, then again, I guess it's not worth it. What with her being passed around by those skeletons." There's a deep threatening growl that's followed by a hard slam. I'm tempted to look but I know better. "*whimpering* Y-You...You hit me?" "Get the fuck out of my bar...NOW!" Grillby's voice has a searing deathly burn in it and it's not long before that bell over the door rings harshly in Doggo's retreat. There is some huffing and puffing from Grillby's calming fume. This concerns me. Dishes cast aside to a small shelf, I creep around the bar and see him standing in the center of the room, his hair billowing high in his anger. Poor guy. I move close to him and feel his heat. "Grillby?" He lets out a large puff of smoke. "Give me a minute...please." I frown in worry. "Okay. But I'm here for you." His arms are shaking. He's settling down slowly. That's good. Yet I feel like I can help. I lightly put my hand on his back and he flinches. Though he begins to relax when I rub my hand up and down along the curve of his back. "Mmmmmm...That's nice." His flames die down and he turns around to me. "Thank you, pussycat." "Thank you for defending my honor again." His face holds such softness. It's cute. "I don't punch Royal Guardsmen for anyone else." There's a warm spot in my heart and I know it's for him. He's earned a reward. "Grillby..." "Yes?" "I don't kiss anyone else." His eyes widen when I yank him by his tie and kiss him, though his surprise doesn't last long. He practically coos when I let him go. "I need to hit Doggo more often if this is what it gets me." "Silly boy." "Well, you like this silly boy." "Yeah, I do." He puts his arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck. "You're comfortable with this, pussycat?" "If I wasn't, I wouldn't be letting it happen, would I?" "Heh...You're cute when feisty." "Cute? With this busted face?" "All you need is some healing. Don't put yourself down." "How can I put myself down when all you do is lift me up?" He chuckles and kisses my forehead before resting against me, his breath is steamy yet enjoyable. "You make it very hard not to do more and respect this waiting when you get so damn adorable." He has a point. It's not like I don't like him. Maybe it's worth exploring this with him. As they say...You only live once. Might as well live knowing happiness. This will really surprise him. That's for sure. I lean back slightly and he looks confused as I move into his neck to leave a few kisses. This gets him blushing and his grip tightens a bit. "Mmmmmm...Now you're not playing fair, pussycat." "Who said I'm playing?" His body stiffens. "W-What?" "I told you earlier..." I look him dead in those fiery eyes of his. "I'll let you know when I'm ready for our game to level up." He blinks quickly as that sinks in. "You...You're serious?" I stroke the back of his head, letting my fingers play around in his flames. "I think you've earned it. Unless you'd rather stay in this friendly type thing?" He pulls out of our hold and steps back toward the door. "Grillby?" When he reaches the door he flips a sign, locks the door, and shuts the blinds on all the windows. This makes me feel like I just fucked up. "Why are you doing that?" "Don't freak out. I'm just closing up for a quick break. Mostly for two reasons." "And they are?" "Well for one..." He starts heading back to me. "I don't want to deal with any of the guards due to Doggo's bitching about being punched. And the second reason..." He reaches me and cups my face. "I want nothing to ruin this." If it weren't for the glow of his hands I wouldn't have any clue that he was healing my bruised as hell face, well, that and it tingles a bit. That warmth in my chest starts that getting hotter as he leans in and kisses me softly...at first. Now knowing he has the okay to do more, Grillby carefully guides me over to a table and sits me on it so I'm a bit more at level with him without breaking the kiss. This is giving me vibes similar to that of the naughty dream yet he's being less aggressive then dream Grillby was. His tenderness allows me to relax, my hands rest on his chest and enjoy the satin feel of his uniform's vest. He trails his kisses across my cheek then down my neck under the bandanna, nipping lightly at my nape and I shamefully moan when he nibbles a sensitive spot. This reaction has the both of us blushing yet he's smiling at me. "Did you just...?" "Grillz..." "Oh my god..." "Grillby, please." "That was the cutest fucking thing I have ever heard in my life." I groan which only makes him laugh. "Come on, it's nothing to be embarrassed about." "Don't tease me." "No, I liked it. In fact...I want to hear it more~." "I don't think tha-!" He cuts me off when his mouth clamps around that spot and begins to suck like a vampire for blood. This has me mewling by, what I can only guess is, his ear and he is very much pleased to hear it all. His bite is sharp yet harmless. He keeps this up a good long while as I cling to him and drag out his name randomly in those lewd sounds he enjoys so much. Eventually, he releases my neck and his smug satisfaction is suddenly alluring to me. It's probably confidence. We chicks dig a confident man. "There. Now you look even better with my mark~." I'm a bit too loopy to understand what that means. Plus the heat I'm feeling is flooding my system and he is becoming more attractive by the second. He nuzzles into my cheek with a few kisses peppered in. "I take it this is your first hickey too?" I nod with a lightheaded smile. All this heat is getting to me. Making it harder to think straight. "So cute." He graces me with a smoldering kiss that lingers long after he's pulled away. This is all too much for my soul to take and the pink heart emerges from my chest much to his shock but also interest. "Easy there, pussycat. While very flattering, I don't think you're ready for that level yet." "Can't help it. It likes you so much." He smirks while giving me a hug. His warmth making my soul feel strange, but not unpleasant. "You are way too sweet to be down here." "And you are way too attractive for your own good. Wait...Did I say that out loud?" He laughs and nuzzles that tender part of my neck as I hug him back. "You know...My offer still stands. You can stay with me and not them." I want to say yes. Everything in me is screaming to yell yes with all my might. But I can't muster the will to do so. Not when Flowey pops into my head and from him spring up all the other people I can't just forget to be with him. My silence gives it away to him. "You can't, can you?" "I want to. But there are things I still need to do. I can't forgo what I already promised. I'm sorry." He looks disappointed for a second before petting my head. "You're a good girl, Lynsie." "You're not mad?" "No. How can I be mad at you when you're honest with me? Besides, it's not like you shot me down. I can wait for when you're able to accept my offer." I sigh with relief as my soul calms down and I smile at this sweet man of flames. "Thank you, Grillby." "No thanks needed. I get it. You've probably got a lot on your plate and being a forced 'house guest' doesn't help matters much." "Yeah." "Was is it that you need to do anyway?" "Well...The whole reason I left the Ruins was to see my friend in Waterfall." That puzzles him. "Who do you know in Waterfall?" "A ghost named Napstablook. He visits the Ruins a lot and we became buddies." "Ah, makes sense now." "I just don't know how to get there without tipping off the guard. He mentioned something about a fast travel thing that would take me near his home from here, but I have no clue where that thing is or what it even is." "The Riverperson." "Huh?" "You're talking about the Riverperson. They take people from area to area on their boat." The pink in my soul starts to transition into white. "Do you know where they are?" He nods and steps back a bit. "Once out this door, you make a left into the housing area and keep going straight. There's a spot where it docks its boat. You can't miss it." Finally. Finally, something that helps me move forward. My soul turns fully white and retreats to my body. "Is that normal for you?" "What?" "Your soul. It changed colors." "Oh, that? Yeah. You get used to it." I scoot off the table. "Thank you, Grillby." "For what?" "Where to start? For defending me. For understanding. For caring. For the companionship. Just thanks for being you, you awesome sweetheart." This has the man of fire burning with a less than intimidating hue as he becomes flustered. I love it. "Awww..." "What?" "You're adorable." His flames burn brighter. "I am not." "And here I thought you liked my honesty." He turns around to get control of himself and I make it worse a little by hugging his back. "Would it help if I said you were hot as hell?" That seems to lighten his embarrassment. "It's a start." "That's the spirit." I kiss the back of his neck and he shivers. "Oh? Did I just find a secret spot of sensitivity?" "Heh...Maybe." "Good to know. Makes our game a bit more even." "And what does that mean?" "You'll have to wait and see, hot stuff." I kiss the back of his neck again and this time he shudders. "*flustered* Really making it hard for me now, pussycat." "My bad." I let him go. "It's probably for the best that we stop anyway. You need to run your bar and I have to get my bro so we can finally finish this longer than it should've been quest." "Heheh...Cute. But you make a point. If I'm closed for too long than the local drunkards will bitch like there's no tomorrow." We both head for the door. "So...You won't be in Waterfall for long, will you?" "Worried I'll get my ass kicked?" "The monster there are stronger than the ones here. Not guard level, but still stronger." "It's sweet of you to be concerned. But trust me, I don't intend to fight anyone." "I'm more worried about you running into Undyne." "The Captain? Yeah, Blooky mentioned she lived there. It's why I'm gonna use the boat to bypass running into her." "Clever girl." I pull up the blinds us as he unlocks the door then turns over the sign. Already there's a line outside of patrons wanting to enter and when they can, they head for their normal spots ready to order. "Looks like you're gonna be busy today. Heh...Sucks to be you, boss." Grillby sighs. "It's going to get less busy later. It's lady's night tonight. Not many women show up." "Horny dudes try to schmooze on the ones that show up?" "Bingo." "Called it!" I move out the door. "Later, hot dude." "Wait!" He grabs my arm at the last second. "Dude, you okay?" He stares at me hard before releasing his grip. "Do you have a phone?" Okay, that random. But not completely out there. "Yeah. Why?" "Let me give you my number. In case something happens." I give him a warm smile and my phone. He adds his number to my contact list and hands it back. "Promise you'll call at the first sign of something going wrong." I hug his neck and kiss his cheek. "I promise. I'll come back to you." He nuzzles my neck and lets me take my leave, allowing him to return to his work while I head back to the skeleton house. The path has been clear to me now. I can make to Napstablook's place. Problem is, if I do, I run the risk of setting Papyrus off. He'll think I escaped. Sans will think the same, but he'd know where to look for me. If that happens, I can hide out at Blooky's for a bit before returning and making a break for the Ruins. Maybe...Maybe if Flowey can help in case we get spotted...Argh! There are so many variables for things to go wrong! I hate it! I enter the house and plop on the couch. "So...You feeling better now? Or are you just drunk?" I look over at my flora brother and see he made something for himself to eat. I did leave in a huff, forgetting to feed him. I owe him more than what I give. "Hey! Your face looks better." "My buddy at the bar did that. He's nice." "Huh? So there are nice monsters." "I'm sorry for earlier. I was a dick. I could've fed you before leaving." "That would've been nice." "Again, I'm sorry. There's just...*sigh* A lot of stuff is on my mind and I'm dealing with a body that is going nuts. I don't mean to take it out on others, especially you. Hell, I even tore into Mom." "Are you insane?! I mean, you have to be if you did that." "I'm not even sure we can call her anymore. Her phone was breaking up really bad." "So we can't get in touch with her at all?" "It's a possibility. I'm hoping more that her battery was dying. Mine's not looking too good either what with no charger and the constant Mom calls." "So we're screwed?" "Not necessarily. The phone is still an option until proven otherwise. But other than that, you can still try going underground to inform her or Blooky could do it." "And how would you get him to do that? "I'll ask him when we get there." That makes him pause. "Are you joking?" "Do I look like I am?" "W-What about the skeletons?" "If we leave now and not stay too long, they shouldn't be none the wiser to our little 'escape'." "And if they do?" I remain silent. "Oh." "We'd have to hide out and either make it to the bar or to Ruins." "Why the bar?" "The owner likes me." Flowey shivers uncomfortably. "Don't be that way. Mom approves of the guy." Technically this is a lie but it's not like Toriel ever said she didn't like Grillby. "So...I'm guessing you have an idea of how to get there if you're suggesting we leave." "There's a boat that'll take us. I just need to know if you're okay with this." He flinches. "Why are you putting all this pressure on me?" "Because I'm sick of being the one with a noose around my neck. Now make a choice. We stay or we go?" He nervously rubs his petals. "Um...uh..." "We don't have much time. Every second wasted allows them to find us sooner." "We go!" I stand up and go over to him. "You'll help me if needed. Right, bro?" "I don't know what you expect me to do. But...sure." "Alright then." I gather my bag and don my gear before collecting Flowey then taking what could be our final leave of this place. Following the directions Grillby gave me, I head into the housing area and notice some different monsters that I didn't know lived here. Of course there are rabbits, a boy awkwardly watches a girl as she walks her little brother on a child leash. A family of slimes take part in what looks to be a parody game of gladiators with the father presiding as judge. I can only guess that this play fighting prepares them for real fights in the future. Then located a little eastward of the slime family is what looks to be a very buff wolf monster behind a gated area throwing mass-produced giant ice cubes into part of the river stream. His fur must be very warm because this hunk is naked. I'm tempted to wolf-whistle at him but I don't need the attention right now. I continue my way past the houses and end up in a small secluded spot surrounded by trees that leave enough space for something to sit by the water. "You said there was a boat. I don't see a boat." "Don't get fussy. Like any ride, we need to wait for the driver to come back." Flowey huffs with a shiver and I put him in the backpack so he's out of the chill. I just have to wait now. [Ring...ring...] Huh? That's a strange ring. And looking at this is even weirder as it's an unknown number. Eh, it's probably Mettaton calling to be creepy again. "Hello?" "Hello! Can I speak to G...Wait a second. Is this the wrong number?" Okay, definitely not Mettaton. And this voice...Why does it sound like I know it yet don't? Creepy! "Um...Yeah. I don't think you meant to call me." " Oh it's the wrong number! The wrong number song! We're very very sorry that we got it wrong! Oh it's the wrong number! The wrong number song! We're very very sorry that we got it wrong! " [Click...] Well that was random and weird as hell. "Tra la la..." I'm spooked by the sudden appearance of a fully cloaked figure in black on a wooden boat parked before me. "I am the riverman. Or am I the riverwoman...? It doesn't really matter. I love to ride in my boat. Would you care to join me?" The hell am I getting myself into here and why does this person sound like the phone weirdo? How would it even have my phone number? "Uh...yes?" "Where will we go today? Waterfall? Hotland?" "Waterfall please." "Then hop aboard and we'll be off." "How much?" It shakes its head. "No charge." Really? I can live with that. I step onto the boat and sit down before it begins to move in the water. How the boat is being controlled when the captain is not doing anything is a mystery I can't begin to think of. "Tra la la. What's inside an acorn? It's really just a mystery." I stare at this weirdo and grow in confusion. Is it just my imagination or paranoia that it also used the word mystery? "I'm pretty sure it's just a tree seed that squirrels really like. But who's to say they aren't just nuts." The pun is accidental. But it makes the figure look back at me. Nothingness. That's all there is in that hooded face. Just dark nothingness. "You need to be careful, little one." That name. That name sends chills down my spine. Only Gaster calls me that. Maybe it's just a coincidence. "Trust in the man who speaks in hands." ...Or not. "What did you say?" It nods. "Trust in the man who came from the other world." "Hold on...How do you know him?" It doesn't speak and this pisses me off. "How you know him?! How do you know about Gaster?!" My shouting stirs Flowey, who merely peeks his head out of the bag. This gets the Riverperson's attention. "Tra la la. Humans, Monsters...Flowers." I feel Flowey jerk back into hiding and I snarl. "Leave him alone. Quit being cryptic and get to your point! You obviously know things others don't." "The angel is coming..." Its voice is low with a warning and it turns away from me to face the water ahead of us. "You'd be wise to get that soul of yours under control...Tra la la." My blood runs cold. I know not what this "angel" is, but the warning of my soul is not good. This being knows more than it lets on. I don't like it. I only hope my actions haven't set up a disaster in the future. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My head canon for Fell drinking: Fell Lynsie reverts to Original Lynsie in terms of personality, she is kind, loving, goofy, and honest. Fell Sans has a strong tolerance but when he hits his limit he becomes bold, emotional, trusting, and more likely to be comfortable around others. So if they were acting funny/familiar to you, now you know the reason why.

#undertale #underfell #Anomaly #Lynsie #sans #papyrus #gaster #grillby #grandpa semi #chara #frisk #flowey #Asriel #asgore #toriel #napstablook #mettaton #undyne #alphys

5 notes · View notes

themanicgalaxy · 3 years

Text

SPN 7X7 The Mentalists

This Week has been ABSOLUTELY dfa;os'ias, I am Tired, and my schedule is WACK, but

eh...I think I need an episode here, comfort shitshow here we go

ah yes angsty Sam

ah a medium

ouija board

man literally nothing good happens on a ouija board

there is science somewhere in there

huh what was her reaction

what was that face

sir the important papers?

this is not going to go well

uh oh

vengeful spirit?

oh god why are you ANGERING THE SPIRIT

oh boy actual spirit signs

HOLY SHIT THE PSYCHIC IS FUCKING DEAD

he's stealing a car? huh?

he looks so disgruntled

THE FUCKING RADIO

AHAHA HE FOUND A JOB THROUGH SHITTY RADIO

bruh where's the Impala, isn't the impala always with Dean?

I was gonna say they should call Cas and then I remembered :(

ah he notices the lil know..fake psychic stuff

ooo vibe

he's gonna say something incredibly out of pocket isn't he

BEN ACKER AND BEN BLACKER WROTE THIS AHAHAH

this is a fun themed cafe tbh

"special of the day: you" LMAO

ah hippies

DEAN'S FUCKING FACE

LMAO SAM'S WORKING THE SAME JOB

Sam's gonna be a lil bitch about this

I miss Pamela

I miss Missouri

WHERE IS SHE

"virile manifestation of the divine"

DEAN'S FACE

HE'S SO PRESSED THAT SAM DOESN'T CARE

...it is a little bit like Sam cares too little and Dean cares too much

"we're not the winchesters, lmaooo we get that a lot"

"we're completely harmless" LMAO

"energies" "completely gentle"

what the actual fuck is going on

"I'm Russian, I can spot the law"

THIS IS HILARIOUS

ooo a necklace that passes down the next of kin through fake psychics? interesting

"he broke my spoon" he's so huffy

they're literally both so huffy

"It's an honest living"

S I R WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR JOB IS

ah she's a profiler

body language

"I've got a open mind"

oh they're FUN tho

she's also a nonbeliever like he was, but they both kinda read people? I think?

Sam sorry bud ur third wheeling gain

"we did NOT know"

b r u h can you maybe chill

THE SIMULTANEOUS BADGE RAISE

bruh EVERYONE CAN READ THEM LIKE A BOOK THIS IS HILARIOUS

like yes I know I'm supposed to find this sad, but it's so funny how they're like "oh we can work together and bury things" AND THEN EVERYONE LITERALLY READS THEM LIKE A BOOK AHAHAHAAAA

ah man not the Russian

oh god not the fork

oh god nonono

I SWEAR TO GOD SINCE WE CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT IT'S EVEN MORE GRUESOME NOW

OH GOD NO PLEASE CUT AWAY

WHY DIDN'T THEY CUT AWAY

WHAT THE FUCK

OH MY GOD

I have no idea what the hell the tone is supposed to be anymore

"agEnT bouRNe"

"chest full of cutlery" lmaooo

"it's either this or los angeles" (in terms of policing)

they're both different kinds of cynical ha

they stopped talking like FBI agents

his FACE aHHH

self recognition through the other yada yada

is lily dale really like this

wait HOLY SHIT THEY ARE APPARENTLY LOTS OF PSYCHICS

"I hate this town" of COURSE YOU DO DEAN OF C O U R SE

this is not sarcastic it's literally everything he would hate

"family is a pain in the ass anyhow" LMAOOO

"thank the spirits" Ma'am this is a wendy's

"now will that be cash or credit"

it really must be lucrative

huh oh there we go vision of death

ah accent gone

and she called the girl, who brought Dean

they're all kinda phony

ah the camera

there we go caught on camera

ah chokes from behind

two am huh

oooo and she gives people visions of their death interesting interesting

heh sibling acts

the costume design is really cool though, honestly the concept is kinda cool

lmaooo ham fisted "sibling acts never work"

...the campbells

ah they were gay

DEAN YOUR FACE

bro the adr in that one bit sucks

lMAO THE PARALLEL

"no magic powers(full of crap) but took care of her younger sibling with Magic" aka Dean and Sam

ELLEN?? TELLING HIM NOT TO BE STUPID?

THANK GOD FOR FUCKING ELLEN I LOVE HER

"you lied to me and killed my friend" ok finally mention her

bruh and you didn't kill Sam

"That's what family does, the dirty work"

he is kind of acting like a dick though

AHAHA THE BAD SIBLINGS HAVE TO DIG

what if one warns and the other doesn't

Dean doesn't want the powers lmao

DAMMIT I THINK SHE WAS WARNING YOU

Always the fucking lighter

that was a fun design though

aw they're vibing that's fun

aw she'll stay with her

uhhh

SHIT YEAH THEY DIDN'T KILL HER

THE SALT

HOW ARE YOU OUT OF SALT

AH THE IRON

ah yay dies right in front of her

ah of course Dean hug

good sis bad sis

aw he's mad he killed an innocent ghost

they really focus on Dean I swear to god

ah the questioning

she was smiling ah jesus christ

ah they're doing it in the morning

ah the juicy lighter

ope bones are gone

the headliners of a specific carnival?

top psychic dogs

ah it's her next of course

ah sand circle

"does it hurt 'em"

"never thought about it"

OH AND HE ACCEPTS IT BECAUSE SHE'S ALSO A SKEPTIC

Ah here we go

find the bones before she kills them

this is like genuinely creepy tho

ooo vibes

ah a gun

OO TRAINING

"I hate when they do that" LMAOO

ooo the dual monologue

real thing isn't pretty or entertaining ok

"I can't pay my rent"

Is...is there a cultural appropriation thing in there

he missed

wasn't Sam also a psychic

ah the yellow teeth

ah JEEZ

bro poor Melanie jesus

"he was boning her"

it was right there

THIRD WHEEL SAM YA BOI

heh she got him

"I wish I had better weeks

bruh his eyes are SO GREEN wow

wow one episode to get over Amy huh

no Dean is not ok

"ever since cas, I'm having a hard time trusting anybody" UH

"we're poster kids of functional family life"

SIR

1. horror. Ok here's the thing. It's less vibe-y, but it's clear as day, it really drives home the mundanity of the horror. Like it could happen to anyone is the thing, and since the thing is bright, lit normally, it drives it home. Seriously I think the horror(when done well) works better.

2. Dean and melanie. Listen. He understood her bright-eyed questions and considered them better not because she was hot(let me have this) but because they were both skeptics. Like bright eyes without the bright eyes, yk?

altho third wheel Sam lmao

3. concept. Listen the concept of a cursed locket, but then it's the sister ghost and then the other sister was really fun! like it was an actual mystery, and lily dale itself(being a town of frauds, Dean feeling like fraud, Sam having to be the one that confronts the real psychic) was excellent, I liked that concept.

they were annoying as shit to deal with tho.

4. reading people! I just like that the whole idea was based on reading people(something neither of those fuckers can do) and how they, with the lies and repression, were uncomfy with it. I thought that was neat.

5. the cultural...appropriation? Like it kinda reads as "I wasn't as Flashy or Palatable so I starve and everyone else gets to be fine and profit off of what's fake versions of mine. Like..you can make the reading. The way it was done makes me uncomfy, but also that's a kind of real reading.

6. Sam(and Amy?). IT felt like Sam forgot about the fact that Amy was his friend and was more angry that Dean lied to him. But his lil Huff was in character and made sense for Anger Issues Winchester.

7. Dean's spiral(CAS). Dean's guilt spiral and trust spiral literally after Cas? Like the man is fucked, Ellen from beyond the grave is trying to tell him to shut up, and it's basically...entirely hinging on Cas and his feeling of doubt and insecurity there.

Bro I'm sorry but what the fuck even when he's not here he's here

#pawswatchesspn #7X7 The Mentalists #I mean decent episode #but fuck this also felt really good #this really is my fucking comfort show #good lord

0 notes

2indecisive4this-blog · 7 years

Text

Poison Ivy

“I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor”

Request 85

Kaitlyn x MC

Funny, fluffy?

***

You release a dramatic yawn, your shoulders arching as you thoroughly stretch each your tired limbs. Your eyes crack slowly open. Your eyes widen and rogue scream escapes from the confines of your lungs.

As opposed to your normal routine of waking up to Kaitlyn’s beautiful, delicate features, you’re alarmed to find large, twizzler-red lips replacing the soft pink ones you’re used to. Her eyelids swollen shut and her skin is puckered and pink. She jerks awake suddenly, startled by your shriek.

“What?!”

You can tell she’s trying to read your face, but you honestly can’t tell if her eyes are open through her swollen eyelids.

“Uhh Kait?”

She scratches her face furiously. “Yeah?”

“ Can you breathe..?”

“Yeah, I can breathe just fine, but these new black-out curtains are strong”

“Kait..” you stifle a laugh “It’s not the curtains..”

“Huh?” She pauses her scratching.

You lift your bedside mirror before her. She resumes scratching with one hand while pulling the mirror close to view herself through squinting eyes. You throw your head back in a laugh as her eyes widen, finally becoming visible.

“HOLY CRAP!” she shrieks “Is that really me?!”

You nod your head frantically, struggling for breath as you howl in laughter.

“Please tell me something just ate me in my sleep and that’s what I’m looking at!”

Laughing every other word “I wish..” You wipe a tear from under your eye “I could..tell you..that was..the case”

She grabs either side of your head between her palms, allowing you an unabridged view of her situation.

“This is serious!” Her voice cracks between words “I’m a tomato!”

Your teeth gnaw painfully on your lower lip as you bite back building shrieks of laughter. You control it long enough to respond “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you see a doctor”

“Well what the hell are we waiting for?!” She leaps to her feet, your collar gripped in a clenched fist “Now!”

You swallow, complying, quickly getting to your feet and running at her heels toward the door.

***

“Poison ivy?!” Kaitlyn shrieks. Your fingers plunge into your ears, muffling her piercing yells

“How the shit did I get that?!”

“Have you spent any time in the wilderness recently?” The doctor inquires

“Well.. we spent some quality time on a wilderness picnic last week..” You chirp in.

And quality indeed..

You smile to yourself, remembering it fondly.

Kaitlyn, clawing feverishly at all exposed skin, snaps “Well it sure as shit wasn’t worth this”

“You kids…” the doctor muses “You know, a blanket goes a long way..”

Kaitlyn turns in your direction.

Is she looking at me? Shit, I honest to god can’t tell.

Though her facial expression proves indiscernible amidst the swelling, the context and harsh, seething, tone of her voice more than tell you she’s pissed.

“Then how come you didn’t get it?!”

You shrug, raising your hands defensively, creating a buffer between her you and her antagonizing extended finger.

“I..I don’t kn--”

“An estimated 1 in 10 are immune” The doctor explains “Maybe your friend here is one of them?”

Well shit.

***

After picking up several prescription drugs, including various topical creams and oral medications, you head home. Kaitlyn takes a running start, prepping herself to hop into your bed when you interrupt her;

“Kait,” she turns to face you “The bed could be covered in poison ivy, so unless you want it to spread..” She sighs, blowing tired raspberries your direction.

“To the cubicle!”

You grin, stumbling eagerly behind as she drags you by the wrist.

***

Kaitlyn hops onto her bed, fingernails digging absentmindedly into her skin all the while.

“Honey…” You lower yourself onto the bed, leaning over her sprawled figure.

“Hmm?”

“You have to stop scratching” You insist, gently taking her dainty wrists in your hands “You’ll scar”

“Pffffff” She rips her hands away; one jumping to attend to the back of her neck, while the other scratches the underside of her exposed elbow.

“Kaitlyn, I’m serious”

“And I’m seriously itchy!” She snaps “But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

Ouch. She has a point.

Your hand finds its way to the back of your neck, scratching nervously as you choose your next words carefully.

“Alright, alright. Fair enough” You reach into the crumpled white pharmacy bag “Will you at least apply your meds first? You know, before skinning yourself alive?”

“Hey I’d love to pay tribute to ‘Skin Goblins’..” she muses “After all, it was my favorite goblin mo--”

Her words make way for thin groans as you begin massaging lotion into her steaming skin.

She must be a thousand degrees..

“--so.....cold....” Her words escape in staggered moans as she shudders at your touch.

Your lips curve into a smirk as your fingers make their way up her abdomen, rubbing the lotion into her hot skin.

“Mm…”

Wow..she’s really covered.

You slowly make your way up to her neck, pausing to adjust for a better angle. One of your hands moves to reach out for facial cream while the other lightly scratches the back of the first.

Why is there a special face lotion, anyway?

“Noo..” she pouts “Not my face, it’s too cold..”

She puts up little reluctance, however, allowing you to easily straddle her waist. You lean comfortably over her and ready the lotion.

Using your thumbs, you begin at her chin, rubbing spiraling circles into her skin, spreading out to her cheeks and growing over her nose.

Her body relaxes, her increasingly rhythmic breathing intoxicating.

Your fingers gently rub her ears, then crawl up the bridge of her nose to press gently into her forehead.

“Mm…”

Your lips slip into an easy smile as wriggles gently, cozying herself amidst her bedding. You lean down and place a light kiss on her forehead. Your lips tingle. You suppress a gag.

Big mistake.

The lotion tastes bad.

After hastily wiping your tongue on your arm, your fingernails follow, dragging across reddening skin.

Sweat tastes better than hydrocorti..hydro cuticle..hydrodynamic...whatever, poison ivy cream

You tap your index finger lightly atop the tip of her nose.

“Boop”

She smiles softly, her eyes opening slightly to gaze into yours.

“Hey”

“Do you still love me in tomato form?”

“You’re not a tomato..” You press your lips lightly against hers, tingling sensation returning. You suppress another gag “..You’re a sweet little cherry”

“Even still?”

“Yes, but let’s hold off kissing..” You smile tiredly.

“Oh.” Her eyes drop from your gaze to the fingers she now kneads anxiously. Yours match hers, digging roughly into skin above your knuckles.

Ahhh

“..You’re still sweet, but the cream you’re covered in sure aren’t”

She gives you a smirk, playfully shoving you off of her to plop heavily to the bed beside.

“Hey!” You scratch indignantly behind your ear. She turns to face you, uncertainty clouding her beautiful, dark eyes.

“I’m sorry, about before..” She begins slowly, concern creeping through her lips.

“For what?” You lift an eyebrow quizzically, a fingernail lifting to scratch around it.

God damn it..

“For snapping at you like that” She takes your hand tentatively, her eyes glistening nervously back at you “I don’t really want you to be itchy too, I just--”

You place a finger assertively to her lips.

“It’s okay, I understand”

She shakes her head, and your finger, loose, allowing it to scribble with convolution across the bridge of your nose.

“No, it isn’t. Just because I’m itchy doesn’t mean I should wish the same hell unto you, you know?”

You nod appreciatively “And if it makes you feel any better..” Your nails dig feverishly into your cheek, leaving burning trails of mercy.

Ahhhhhhh...

“It was the itch talking, I swear” she continues “I don’t want you to be--”

“..I think I’m getting it too”

“--itchy”

***

Your nails dig furiously into all exposed skin as Kaitlyn squeals beside you, wriggling in glee against the dark purple bedding you picked out for her ages ago.

Still soft.. Guess she hasn’t made enough use of it to ruin it yet.

“Kaitlyn?”

Her squealing subsides.

“Hmm?”

“Quit happy dancing” She looks to you indignantly, scoffing.

“Whaaaat? I don’t know what you’re--”

“You haven’t stopped squealing since I mentioned the itchiness”

“I’m not--”

“You’re wiggling!”

“Am not!”

She pauses her wiggling briefly before resuming with equal, if not more, enthusiasm.

Yeah, right.

“It was funny for the first minute or two, but half an hour is excessive”

“I’m just scratching my back!”

“Against a down blanket?”

“Hey, this only has a thread count of 800!”

“It’s softer than a cloud!”

You test it, wiggling to no avail against the cloud-like comforter.

I knew it..

***

“I have sensitive skin!”

***

95 notes · View notes

diyunho · 8 years

Text

The Joker x Reader - “How to make a baby”

The Joker really wants a baby and doesn’t know how to approach the subject. Last time you two talked about it your answer was an unmistakable no and he doesn’t take that kind of negative attitude from anybody, including his girl. Or so he likes to believe…

You are reading a book in front of the fireplace, sitting on the soft rug and leaning your back against the couch. The Joker is resting in his favorite armchair, reading articles about How to make your girlfriend happy on his cell. He wants to convince you to have a baby with him and things have to go the right way because he is aware he can’t force you on this one. J reads the list again and decides to try the stuff he found, maybe it will work.

1. Tell her you love her

He holds his phone with two fingers like it’s infected with some contagious virus, takes a deep breath and utters with emotionless voice:

“Pumpkin, I love you.” It sounded so cold, flatter than the flat green tea latte he orders from Starbucks all the time. He hates the taste but it’s green. Yeah, well… it makes sense to him.

“Awww, that’s nice J,” you mumble, not really paying attention. You always have to sift through what he says because he sure says a lot of things. Most of the times you just pretend to listen and find it easier to just go with the flow.

It didn’t seem you cared about his first effort and he passes his fingers through his hair, annoyed: “What a bunch of nonsense, who wrote this crap?! I should kill them,” he thinks to himself and notices there is/are no name(s) at the end of the article. Dammit, how is he supposed to punish the culprit if he doesn’t know who it is? That makes him even more irritated but decides to continue.

2. Tell her she’s beautiful

For this one J believes he needs to change spots so he comes on the couch behind you and sits so you are trapped between his legs. He starts massaging your shoulders, his gold bracelets clinking in your ears.

“Ahhh, it feels nice,” you whisper, closing your eyes, enjoying the relaxing moment.

“You’re such a pretty doll, Princess,” he leans over and tells you, waiting for a reaction. You take his hand and kiss his laughing mouth tattoo, then keep it on your face, going back to reading. That worked better, he smiles, satisfied with the accomplishment so he continues:

“Do you remember when we first met? You annoyed me so much at the meeting I followed you to your car because I wanted to kill you.”

You snort at the memory and turn the page:” Oh, yeah, how could I forget?”

“…and then I saw you bending over to reach your glove compartment with that short skirt and I realized you had no underwear on.”

“Excuse me?! I did have underwear on,” you protest, looking up to him.

“That little string doesn’t count,” he smirks and you slap his knee.

“Does to! Plus, I totally busted you staring. Are you enjoying the view, Mister J? “ you recall the question, amused.

“Remember what I answered? I would like it even better from the top.” You both start laughing like crazy; it sure was one of the most daring pickup lines you ever heard but it worked.

“Such a charmer, baby,” you sigh, chuckling, turning your attention towards your reading again.

“I know,” he has to admit, grinning. “ I sure felt I have to ask if you would like to go on a heist together sometimes.”

“ I was impressed with your approach on asking for a date so I said yes,” you rest your head on his knee, closing your book for a few moments. “It sure was lucky you had a robbery planned for that night, I never had so much fun on a first date,” you have to admit and The Joker’s heart beats faster, happy to hear the confirmation of his awesomeness. Man I’m good! he believes without hesitation and takes a quick glance at his cell again.

3. Buy her flowers

“Y/N, I got you flowers,” he boasts before he grasps the idea he didn’t get shit.

“Oh, did you? How sweet, I love flowers,” you admit, picking around to see where they are and it clicks for J: Fuck, I have none. “Ummm, I forgot them in my car, I’ll go get them,” he gets up and heads towards the elevator, not knowing how is going to pull this one off.

“Thank you, baby !“ he hears before the elevator’s door close. You move close to the fire, wondering why he’s behaving weird but you kind of like it.

On the way to the underground parking, he passes by Frost’s office and since he always has the door opened, J sees the huge bouquet of flowers on the coffee table, no doubt a gift for his girlfriend.

He shamelessly walks in, giving Jonny a mean look and growls:

“These are mine!” and yanks the bouquet away.

“Of course, sir,” Frost is fast in agreeing since he knows better than not to keep his mouth shut at his boss’s behavior.

************

“Here, for you Pumpkin,” J gives you the flowers, kissing you and you really feel excited.

“They look so beautiful, I’ll keep them by me for a while,” you determine with such a glowing smile it makes him intrigued: Why do women always like this stuff? It’s so stupid. He goes back to his spot behind you and starts playing with your hair. He thinks he got this so he begins talking:

“You know, Pumpkin, you’re only getting older and…”

“What?!” you snap, finally paying attention. “ You’re so rude!” you pout and move away from him, placing yourself on your tummy in front of the fireplace, slamming your book around before you calm down a bit. “You’re old!” you hiss at him over your shoulder and he deeply inhales, not understanding why the truth is upsetting you so much.

It’s finally time to glance at that list again because apparently going rogue on his own it’s not working too well.

4. Show interest in what she likes

J crawls down by your side and imitates your position, staring you down.

“What are you reading, Doll?”

“A book about villains,” you reply, frowning, bouncing your legs up and down.

“Am I in there?” he asks, getting closer to you and places his chin on your forearm.

“Nope,” you shortly answer, sniffling.

“I should be,” he states with confidence, pretending to read what you are.

You lift your shoulders up and try to ignore him. He takes a quick pick at the phone again.

5. Let her know you’re lucky to have her

“I’m the most important one around here but I guess you have your fair amount of usefulness,” he seductively mumbles, thinking it’s the best praise he came up with so far.

“Huh?” you get upset, turning towards him and watching his silver teeth shinning in the firewood light. “Shut up, J !” and you push him away, sulking.

What the hell?! I thought she will love this for sure.

“I guess what I’m trying to say, Princess, is that it’s OK having you around,” he corrects his earlier statement, hoping for a more positive outcome.

“Whatever,” you grumble while he slowly uses two fingers to walk down your back until he reaches your shorts.

6. Cuddle up with her at home

The Joker gropes you and uses you as an anchor while really shoving himself into you. Your hair being yanked in the process doesn’t make you receptive to his tactic.

“Ouch, what are you doing?” you look at him again, suspicious. “Are you trying to tell me you wanna have sex or something? Because you don’t need all this, I always want you,” you bitterly admonish him by admitting to the truth. It flusters you how you can’t fully hate him, at least not for long periods of time.

“I’m just trying to get in your pants, literally. Why are they so hard to pull down?” J tries again and no luck, blowing a rebel strand of green hair off his face, irked because he usually doesn’t have trouble undressing you.

“Wow, that’s why you’ve been acting awkward?” you finally smile, contemplating if you should still be mad or not.

“I was acting…normal,” he grunts, fighting with your shorts and it makes you snicker at his struggle.

“Which means weird for you,” you are fast to point out. “So what’s going on?”

“Dammit, stupid shorts!” he slaps your butt and you lift yourself up a little bit so he can finally succeed in his mission. “Ohhhh, strings again,” he delightfully growls, biting his lip.

“You know I always wear this kind of stuff because it apparently saved my life,” you roll your eyes, feeling there’s more to this behavior of his. “Hey, my eyes are up here!” you lift his chin up from your cleavage, interrupting his fun. “Tell me what’s going on.”

He takes a deep breath and swears he’s going to get rid of you if you don’t agree with him:

“Pumpkin, we should really have a baby.” And now he waits.

You stare at him without blinking for a few long seconds and it makes him uncomfortable. He never feels uncomfortable.

“Are you…are you for reals?!” you furrow your eyebrows, gasping.

“Yeah, we should have a baby, I told you before I want one,” he grinds his teeth and you sure don’t seem thrilled.

“Really???!!!! I told you I’m pregnant when you were sitting on your stupid armchair, playing on your stupid phone with something stupid for sure! You didn’t seem to care!!” you raise your voice, mad again.

His mouth just opens, he surely didn’t hear that, concentrating too much on the article that was supposed to get you to the point of wanting to have a baby.

“Oh my God, Princess, I’m gonna be a dad?!” he blurs out, his blue eyes lighting up in a way you didn’t see before and it kind of lowers your defense.

“I hope you’re going to be a better dad because as I boyfriend…I don’t know…”

He is not paying attention again.

“The Joker is gonna be a father,” he whispers, absent minded and you have to make him focus again:

“Do you still want to get in my pants or what?”

*************************

“Hey Princess!” he shouts from his desk and you turn around in the same time with your 5 year daughter that’s playing on the ground with her toys: “Yes, Daddy?” she giggles and J starts laughing in his crazy way that would normally make people cringe. The two of you are so used to it you don’t even care.

“Come sit in Daddy’s lap, would you?” he gestures and you head over with Evie running in front of you wanting to be first one. She gets on his left knee and you sit on his right one.

“Which one of us, baby?” you pull on his hair, aggravated.

He smirks, gratified on how sneaky he can be:

“Does it matter? I got you both trained!”

“Did you hear that, Evie? Daddy got us trained. What do we do when Daddy is being a smart-ass, hmmm?” you kiss her forehead and she charges at his neck, screaming:

“We bite him!!!”

“Ahhh, good girl,” you snarl, watching The Joker squirm and snicker under attack while reaching for the book you set on his desk earlier.

“Did you have time to look at this?” you ask him while he has fun with Evie and he nods no, whimpering at the small teeth grazing his skin. “Here”, you open the book in the middle, showing him what you customized for him online. “ I got you a whole chapter in the villains book, wrote it myself. This way you don’t have to wait until you die like the others.”

His eyes get big and he grins, so pleased with what you did.

“Daddy, play with me!” Evie tugs on his shirt when she notices he is paying attention to something else. She starts bouncing in his lap, impatient and you get up.

“You did this for me, Doll?”

“Oh, yeah, because I really want to get in your pants tonight. Literally,” you whisper in his ear, biting his neck too.

*********************

You’ve been making out for 10 minutes now when he stops for a few seconds to unexpectedly say: “ I love you, Pumpkin” with that emotionless tone he uses when he’s at a loss of understanding his own complicated emotions.

“Aww, that’s nice, “ you snuggle more to him and he continues: “You’re such a beautiful doll, Princess.”

Something feels…strange.

“Y/N, I got you flowers,” he moans while pulling down your bra straps. It suddenly clicks for you and you get off him, panicked.

“Oh, no! No, no, definitely not!” you back out, heading for the door.

“What?” he pretends to be all innocent. “We should have another kid, look how cute Evie is.”

“Out of the question, you know I had a horrible pregnancy,” and you run out of the door when he stands up to follow you, fed up with your rebellion. You lock yourself in the bedroom that’s the furthest from your daughter’s room so you won’t wake her. The Joker comes and softly knocks on the door, amazed he’s not pissed yet:

“ Y/N, open up! What are you going to do? You’ll never sleep with me again?!”

You debate, thinking of all the fun you have all the time, that’s why you sound doubtful when you reply:

“Ummmmm…yeeeess….”

“Open the door, don’t make me mad! Daddy wants you! Or do I have to find myself another woman?” he bangs his head against the door, sighting.

“NO!!!” you kick the door from the other side, gulping. “That’s blackmail, J, it’s not fair!” “This is what we do, Doll, you don’t like it when you are the lucky recipient?”

“NO!!!” you pout, kicking the door again. “I don’t like it!”

“Open up, yes? I want to get in your pants!” he tries the strategy and he hears you snicker. I didn’t lose my touch, he compliments his skills to his own self.

“I don’t have any pants on,” you crack the door open, hating yourself for wanting him so much.

He rests his head on the wood frame for a little bit before pushing his way in.

“Even better, makes it easier,” The Joker grins, slowly closing the door behind him.