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gusu-emilu · 4 years ago

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seven nights to turn: author's meta

Symbolism & Parallels

Time to be self-indulgent. Am I significant enough to be posting about my own fic lore? Probably not, but here I am. Blame @eldritch-elrics and @qi-ling for telling me I was allowed to do this.

I also want to journal for myself about this story before I forget my thoughts months later. A little fic diary, if you will.

I'm going to talk about the meanings of:

counting nights and days

pruning plants

branding and insignia

kneeling

Counting Nights and Days

Jiang Cheng's state of mind in Chapter 1 is very different from Chapter 4. In the beginning of the story, he is bitter and restless. His memories haunt him. He counts time by nights—has for years—because the nights are harder to make it through.

By the end of the story, he is openly grateful in his narration for Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling's safety, and he has gone from calling himself selfish to giving to Wen Ning out of something more than just guilt. The shift from counting nights to counting days reflects this.

I also played with this concept in the titles and section headers. As a refresher, the chapter titles are 1) from first to fifth night, 2) from sixth to seventh night, 3) turn, 4) from first to fifth day. And of course, the story is called Seven Nights to Turn.

Jiang Cheng "turns" in multiple ways. The surface level turn is from counting nights to days. The emotional turn is how his perception of Wen Ning changes. The physical turn involves kneeling...and I'll talk about that soon.

Wen Ning also has a turn of his own, as he realizes that he isn't as repulsive as he thinks, that he isn't as responsible for the past as he thinks, that Jiang Cheng didn't give him the talismans and tea for the reason he thinks. That he is allowed to express negative emotions once in a while. He can have some catharsis by confessing things to Jiang Cheng that he feels like he can't say to Wei Wuxian or Lan Sizhui. And at the very end of the story, he "turns" to travel to Tanzhou and meet Song Lan, starting a new direction in his life as he can begin to heal and grow on his own. Before coming back to Lotus Pier, of course *wink wink*

Now for the section headers. If you didn't translate them while reading, I'll do that now. Until the "turn," the nights are marked 第一晚 (First Night), 第二晚 (Second Night), etc., and the days are marked 白天 (Daytime). Wen Ning's POV in Chapter 2, aka his breakdown, is marked 未知 (Unknown), because the reader can decide for themselves when that scene happens. It also represents that Wen Ning feels lost in that moment. After the "turn," the night is marked 晚上 (Nighttime), and the days are marked 第一天 (First Day), 第二天 (Second Day), etc. So, the shift from counting nights to days happens on several levels.

Pruning Plants

In Chapter 3, after Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning reach some form of peace, if not a full reconciliation, they sit at the tea table in Wen Ning's cabin, talking about their families or sitting in silence. Wen Ning brings over one of his plants to prune while they sit together.

Snipping away the leaves represents how, throughout the entire story, they bring up moments from the past and find a way to release them. Before they were able to reconcile enough to sit at Wen Ning's tea table (without Jiang Cheng wanting to flip it over), they had to go through explosive confrontations about the past. But finally, some of those grievances are addressed. They can trim away those leaves, and new shoots can grow, because at last they are talking without animosity and beginning to bond.

Trimming away a few leaves doesn't change the plant. Its base is still the same. They can't change or fix anything, but they can make what they have a little less messy.

Actually, I was originally going to have Wen Ning show Jiang Cheng how to prune the plant, and they would trim it together. Now I'm regretting not doing that lol.

Branding and Insignia

I'm just going to pull quotes for this one to show everything in one place. Half of these ideas came from my beta @lady-of-the-lotus.

He wonders if Wen Ning is trying to leave a mark of his own, to carve another scar, to sear a brand of the lost Wen Clan into his skin. (Chapter One)

Jiang Cheng thinks about receiving another permanent mark of the Wen Clan during the hate sex...

A pendant in the window casts a sun-shaped shadow on his face; a faint circle, spoked and distorted. He doesn’t look in the mirror again after that. (Chapter Two)

And the morning after, there's the mark of the Wen Clan, if only in his imagination. Yet another thing to haunt him.

Wen Ning saw. Saw the guqin brush, with its red handle, its black rim and golden tassel. The exact colors of the Wen insignia. (Chapter Two)

But by the end of that chapter, Jiang Cheng begins to empathize with Wen Ning and come to terms with his guilt, and he consciously selects a symbol of the Wen Clan to give to Lan Sizhui as a gift.

The design on the bottom of the cup has burned the red outline of a lotus flower into his skin. (Chapter Four)

By now, Jiang Cheng understands how much Wen Ning sacrificed and suffered, and he wishes he could take away the pain. He heals the burn wound, removing the brand of the Jiang Clan from Wen Ning's skin, and later thanks Wen Ning for saving his family.

As he follows the path of the veins, he realizes how endless they are. Jiang Cheng’s own scars have a clear start. A clear finish. Where does Wen Ning’s suffering end? (Chapter Four)

Wen Ning's black marks are the brand of death.

The rest of the scar/vein symbolism is pretty clear in the story, I think, so I won't discuss it much beyond that.

Kneeling and Parallels

Here's the physical "turn." I didn't intend for this to happen while writing, but it actually has a connection to a scene in CQL.

One of the most emotional scenes in The Untamed is in Episode 36, after Wei Wuxian pulls the nails out of Wen Ning's head to restore his consciousness. Wen Ning, overcome with guilt, kneels at Wei Wuxian's feet. Then Wei Wuxian kneels.

This is a beautiful moment in their relationship. Ningxian (you can interpret that romantically or platonically) always has this...slightly uncomfortable power dynamic? as much as I love them, but in that scene Wei Wuxian physically shows how much he appreciates Wen Ning. That he is sorry. That they are both indebted to each other, but the past wasn't Wen Ning's fault, and they are equals as they kneel in front of each other.

Back to Seven Nights, where there is a lot of kneeling going on, and the meanings are a bit similar.

This story was a challenge to tell mostly from Jiang Cheng's POV, because there is so much in Wen Ning's head that I couldn't put on the page since Jiang Cheng just doesn't know what he's thinking. The reader gets to learn about Wen Ning through Jiang Cheng's eyes, and speculate about the rest of what they don't learn.

But during the hate sex scene, it's significant that Wen Ning is the one kneeling. Despite how much resentment he holds toward Jiang Cheng, he still feels guilty! (He really isn't to blame, but he feels like he is.) He killed Jin Zixuan! That caused Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli to die! He's a corpse, what is he doing touching someone? Expecting that Jiang Cheng would've reached out to him to make peace? Wen Ning is very confused about how he feels about Jiang Cheng, has a complicated relationship with his own humanity and self-confidence, and that leaves him kneeling even when getting revenge.

There's also the attraction element, of course, the classic trope of "enemy sexy," but we're not talking about that right now lol

The next time somebody kneels, it's Jiang Cheng. His guilt toward Wen Ning used to do nothing but torment him. Now he is taking action, physically showing the change in their relationship, kneeling at Wen Ning's feet and healing his hand. The talismans and tea in the first chapter were nice (if misguided) gestures, but he didn't kneel to present those, did he? The sentiment in the first chapter is very different from his treatment of Wen Ning in the last chapter. He understands Wen Ning much better. Admits to himself that he cares about Wen Ning as a person. He's not just caught up in the concept of "unfinished business." He's not held back by his ego.

And then we come full circle, an inverse of the hate sex in the first chapter. This time Jiang Cheng drinks the tea, kneels, and gets to work. And Wen Ning orders him to, which I find very satisfying.

But once he finishes...Wen Ning kneels, too.

They go through both versions of the power structure, and by the end they are stripped, raw, honest, kneeling in front of each other and wrapped in each other's arms. They both had to knock down barriers to get to this point, and it broke them both a little in the process, but now they can start again and move on to something more hopeful.

Just to be clear, this was not planned from the beginning. Wen Ning was never even going to go to Lotus Pier. And once I decided to add that chapter, I only decided to add sex to it a week before posting. So this just kind of happened on its own.

...And I think that's it. I wish this story was longer lol. Seven Nights was supposed to be a 6k oneshot, turned into a near-30k multichap, and I still want to write more. T.T

I might post again about planning/conception for the fic, another diary entry so I don't forget what was going on in my head months or years later when I look back at this story. Idk. Anyway, thanks for reading!

#seven nights to turn #emilu creations #emilu fics

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jmkitsune · 4 years ago

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All of the Happy Asks 💫! 😏😏

Sunrises: What is something you are looking forward to?

cooler weather, the heat is KILLING ME T.T

Honeybees: What is something you have done recently that you are proud of? It can be anything at all, even just waking up every morning.

mmm tried more and more looking for agents for my book series, like its the most annoying/stressful thing for me and causes a LOT of imposter syndrome but still gotta do it

Roller skating: What are your hobbies?

-writing -streaming -gaming -music/tv shows/movies -reading -lego/gundam model building

Stars: What are your favorite blogs?

uuhhhh RIGHT NOW anyone I've been reblogging A LOT from lol like if I reblog your stuff a lot- youre the current fave

Poppy flowers: What are your favorite flowers?

roses, water lilies, sakura blossoms

Lemonade: What is the sweetest thing anyone has every done for you?

uhh good question I wanna say that someone in my twitch stream one day decided (to be spiteful and funny) dropped like 500 bucks in one stream and I legit was speechless and didn't know what to do

Dogs: What do you look for in friends?

shockingly I don't "look for anything" other than

- dont be conservative, don't be a bigot, uhh pretty much dont be a dick

Painting: If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be?

I've dyed my hair blue before, doubt I'll dye it again

Smiles: What is the greatest compliment you have ever received? What is a compliment you wish someone would give you?

uhhh mmm good question, honestly probably that I was good enough

Fairy lights: If someone wanted to get to know you, what should they read/watch/listen to?

star wars- A L L of it a lot of 1990s-2000s anime listen to a LOT of music from the 2000s read a lot of stuff like the looking glass wars, PJO series, HP, GoT, Golden compass books

Dancing: Describe your dream date.

gonna be honest with ya- i dont like dates in the capacity of like "look forward to them" I'd be happiest just hanging out around the house or whatever and not "having anything to do" just relaxing w my partner I don't do "dates" before a relationship (many people don't get it I know)

Rainbows: What always makes you feel better when you’re sad?

time, like I just need to be sad then I get over it

Beaches: If you could go anywhere in the world, right this moment, where would you go?

the ocean, I haven't been there in FOREVER and would LOVE that coooool sea breeze while standing in the ocean for a bit

Cats: What do you like to do on lazy days?

....work lol I dunno how to relax I'm always working >.<

Sunflowers: What do you want other people to think of you?

uh that's im good enough and that what I make is good enough to support?

Laughter: List 5 things that make you happy.

friends, music, video games, foxes, sleep (when I can have it)

Balloons: When do you feel most like yourself?

honestly, when I am streaming or writing

Daisies: What is your favorite quote?

"when someone says impossible, they usually mean improbable"

Trees: Name one thing you have learned this past year that has made you a better person?

that no matter HOW SHITTY I AM- at least I didn't think that covid was fake, and that vaccines were gonna be tracking devices/believe in the conspiracy around that bullshit AND EVEN MORE - no matter how much I hate our goervnment- IVE NOT tried to openly revolt so shittily like in January

and that makes me feel good bout myself

Polaroids: What is your favorite thing about yourself?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

thats my secret tumblr...I dunno

Sunsets: If you could paint the sky any colors, what would they be?

uhhh *insert do you like the color of the sky meme here*

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farawaysoph-ie · 5 years ago

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Yes, yes I know I've been obsessing but I've just finished Psychopath Diary and well, wasn't that drama Amazing? So here's a spoilers-full list of stuff I can't get out of my mind

This drama proved that Yoon Shi Yoon looks good in anything, the grandma outfit ✔, the prison uniform ✔, the red hat ✔

Playing someone like Dong Sik must have been so much fun, he was so dedicated to make that dork over the top in ANY situation

The real scene stealer of the drama though was Park Sung Hoon, he possessed the last brain cells of the entire cast and it showed. He was an antagonist I respected and was fascinated by. He was evil, cold and totally obessed with our main guy.

Dong Sik being a drama queen and overreacting was so fun to watch, especially in the beginning when he had embraced his psychopath self

All the films and monologues he went around quoting

The stupid questions he asked jerk director while pretending to be Jigsaw

They threw around the word psychopath, predator and profiling a bit too much for my liking, but I've seen worse in other thriller dramas

The ost for this drama was nice, especially the theme that always played at the end of the episodes

The whole copycat thing was distracting, but it made sense story-wise

The accumulated guilt dong sik started feeling episode by episode broke my heart

Officer Shim is a precious leading lady

I love that she is like so small but they never made her wear heels, that she was smart and competent until the end, that she had a moral compass like no other

I love the fact the she was not there just to be in danger: she was targetted by the murderer because of her father, because of her digging for the truth no matter what

I love that she doubted herself during the process, most of the times you see these characters that have so much misplaced confidence that I'm like... how?

Also my girl shoot the psycho in the end and took a bullet in the arm

Taek-Soo and Chil-Sung were so precious

Take-Soo thank you for showing that friendship is real and you don't have to romantically like your female senior colleague to respect her

"I see your beard is growing nicely"

Blood Brothers T.T

How could you think he'd betray you (my heart seriously)

Dong Sik family omg, you usually see so much conflict with stepmothers and stepbrothers (see psycho-boy family), but they just... loved each other so much? and I was like... is this really happening? did kdramaland gave us a functioning extended family...? Is this the real life?

The whole plan Dong Sik had for being a serial killer was actually getting beaten up and smiling like a maniac. But even then he ended up saving people. We stan one precious boy.

Thinking about it Dong Sik was actually the leading lady of this drama: nice to a fault✔, mistreated✔, not the brightest out there✔, has a rich guy take a liking to him✔

Park Sung Hoon was mesmerizing with his outfits and evil laughters, he slowly became the puppeteer pulling all the strings

The whole thing started with him being fascinated by Dong Sik, the elevator scene had me screaming, the music was so perfect but you'd still think they were flirting, c'mon

He thought he'd found someone who could understand him and then he discovered he was a weakling with amnesia, and how dare he be!

But ah! too late, he was obsessed so he wanted to take Dong Sik to his level and then defeat him

The dude actually set up cameras to watch Dong Sik murder the detective! Ehm sir you could have continued with being drinking buddies, this is all very intense

I think he was so intoxicated with these games that he slipped, he understimated other detectives, forgot other players, provoked Dong Sik the ultimate selfless guy

Dong sik escaping prison Only when officer Shim was being threatened (how is he so... good?)

The phone call was pure genius

Both of them

The glasses trick, yes take that, psycho boy, his blood brother taught him that

I'd have loved to see more of Detective Shim in action, the actor was amazing

Dong Sik letter to his mom T.T

It's not a fault to be nice

All the scenes in the escape room were hilarious (okay not the first attempted murder, that was just intense)

The team plans to go against the killer were satisfying, you could see them holding on against evil

The family reunion healed my heart, together with Dong Sik's dad shouting in order to drive away his son and not let him get caught by detectives

When Dong Sik showed up, painted his face with blood and then gave us the purest smile in the history of smiles

Did... did Dong Sik start throwing random stuff at a serial killer with a gun?!

And there I thought this drama could not pleasantly surprise me anymore

I loved that Dong Sik became a writer, I'd say that it suits him

Also they were giving me Castle and Beckett vibes in the end😍

All in all this drama was a rollercoaster, it went from hilarious to sinister in a heartbeat and delivered so many satisfying moments.

It wasn't perfect, but you bet it's one of the greatest kdrama I've ever seen and it made my top5, no doubts.

(Also I may add stuff to the list, I am so forgetting something)

#your gif are all so amazing #psychopath diary #psychopath diary spoilers #tvn #kdrama #incoherent whatever

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mkenvs3000 · 4 years ago

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Is the Past Like a Jigsaw Puzzle?

There is no peculiar merit in ancient things, but there is merit in integrity, and integrity entails the keeping together of the parts of any whole, and if these parts are scattered throughout time, then the maintenance of integrity entails a knowledge, a memory, of ancient things. …. To think, feel or act as though the past is done with, is equivalent to believing that a railway station through which our train has just passed, only existed for as long as our train was in it.

(Edward Hyams, Chapter 7, The Gifts of Interpretation)

Ask yourself... What gives something meaning? Who determines it’s worth? Why is it valuable? Is it the lessons that an ancient artifact teaches us or is it the deeper understanding of its historical relevance that deems its significance?

I believe that posing these questions enables us to unpack Edward Hyams’ powerful quote regarding the integrity of the past. The author articulates that “There is no peculiar merit in ancient things.” Rather he exclaims that there is merit in integrity. I interpret this integrity as an honest account of the past - warranting all it’s injustices, hardships and challenges, but also, remembering society’s successful accomplishments, triumphant battles and all the outspoken truths that history entails. This claim is emphasized in the textbook as evident in the statement, “To remember not only that happy stories ever passed, but also the tragic ones” (Beck et al., 2018). This quote can be used as a reminder to us that although it may be difficult to share and uncover heart-wrenching stories of the past, it is important that we recognize these stories' significance in shaping a greater future. Passing on despairing memories from generation to generation, motivates us as a society to grow and learn from past mistakes, in hopes of not making those same mistakes again in the future. I am reminded of the famous quote by George Santayana (1905) stating “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” yet many of us still disregard the actions of the past.

We most learn from the past, to live in the present and create a promising future. Retrieved from Brian Freeman

Moreover, Edward Hyams’ quote describes how meaningful pieces of history are scattered throughout time and space. I envision thousands of puzzle pieces spread out on a table waiting to be connected together to create the bigger picture. At the beginning, it can be hard to figure out where to start, but eventually patience and dedication allow us to connect the missing pieces. As we continue the pieces start to come together, changing our perspective to no longer seeing the puzzle as separate pieces but rather as a whole story. Yet, history is like a jigsaw puzzle that is never quite complete as new pieces we didn't even know existed begin to be found.

History is like a jigsaw puzzle. Retrieved from Your Life Is a Puzzle and Only You Can Place All the Pieces Together.

In turn, I believe that it is the job of interpreters to find, decipher and interconnect these pieces in an integral manner in order to reveal the whole truth about the past. To achieve true authenticity, it is necessary that we understand who, where, and how we currently live in this precise moment of time. We must establish our connection to the past to learn invaluable lessons that help us grow as people and as a society.

I can visualize “To think, feel or act as though the past is done with, is equivalent to believing that a railway station through which our train has just passed, only existed for as long as our train was in it” as a society we are constantly rushing to move forward that we often disregard our connection to the past, preventing us from truly moving forward. We forget that the past is always a part of the present as there are always memories and emotional connections attached to events and objects. As we learned from the textbook, we can preserve history by sharing collective memories, stories and traditions (Beck et al., 2018). I truly believe that Edward Hyams quote remains relevant as it provokes the reader to think critically about the past and to take action to create a brighter future as understanding the past is the most difficult puzzle we’ll ever have to do.

I leave you with the question:

Do you think that the past is like a jigsaw puzzle?

Thanks for reading!

- Marissa

Retrieved from Your Life Is a Puzzle and Only You Can Place All the Pieces Together.

Beck, L., Cable, T.T., & Knudson, D.M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage for a better world. Sagamore-Venture Publishing.

George Satayana (1905). Wikipedia Contributors. (2021, February 20). George Santayana. Retrieved February 26, 2021, from Wikipedia website: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Santayana

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dreamersscape · 6 years ago

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The Raven Cycle: A Liveblog (Part 4)

(Let’s just pretend the gap since my last installment was a much shorter and more reasonable period of time than it has actually been, shall we? I tried to make up for it with the length of this edition. Suuuuuper long post under the cut.)

Me, reading TDT’s opening quotations: Okay, yes, good. Taking things out of your dreams into the waking world. Got it.

Me, reading the last quote: ‘I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.’?

YOU UNDERSTAND NOTHING OF MY PEOPLE, AUSTIN STRINDBERG. GET THEE HENCE.

‘He always returned with gifts, treasure, and unimaginable amounts of money, but to Ronan, the most wondrous thing was Niall himself. Every parting felt like it would be the last, and so every return was like a miracle.’ RONANNNNNNN. (Is it weird that it feels like Ronan is supposed to be my favorite bc he seems closest to my type and goodness knows I can relate to the grieving-a-father feels, but that’s not really the case so far? I love him dearly, but it feels like I should love him more. Weird? Not weird? I dunno.)

*carefully takes notes about the alleged details of Ronan’s birth because I know now every minor detail is actually Very Important*

‘Theoretically, Blue Sargent was probably going to kill one of these boys.’ Oh, good, it’s only a theoretical death. Glad we got that sorted out. Guess I can stop worrying about it now, right? :P

'Adam’s hand glided over her bare elbow. The touch was a whisper in a language she didn’t speak very well.’ I really like this line! Also, somewhat sadly, relateable.

'It had five tiny white buttons: four arranged in a cross shape, and one off by itself. To Blue, that fifth button was like Adam. Still working toward the same purpose as the other four. But no longer quite as close as the others.’ Oh, so we’re going to make my heart hurt over Adam Parrish in the first ten pages of the book. Fine.

'In that moment, Blue was a little in love with all of them. Their magic. Their quest. Their awfulness and strangeness. Her raven boys.’ Aw, those lines sound familiar. ;) And we’re all right there with ya, Blue.

'The dorms were emptier than they would’ve been during school term, but they were not empty.’ Whoops unrelated-to-TRC-but-nevertheless-on-brand feels ahoy.

So it’s been long enough since I read TRB that I can’t recall if I had any particular feelings about Declan then, but definitely feeling pretty sympathetic towards him now, what with his father’s seeming dismissive attitude toward him and the assault from this Gray Man. Also, have I read the word Greywaren before? Not sure.

Oh. So Ronan is the Greywaren, then. Guess that answers that.

’Mom is nothing without him’? Woooow, Declan. Wow. A bit less sympathy, now. (Maybe there’s something about their mother I don’t know yet, but still…)

’Creature was a good word for him, Ronan thought.’ Oof. He’s gonna make me eat my words, isn’t he? I already said I love you dearly, Ronan!

And now he’s gonna divert himself from his unpleasant thoughts with an external distraction. Oh good. That doesn’t mirror any of my other favorite characters at all.

'Back then, it had surprised Ronan; he hadn’t realized yet that Gansey could persuade even the sun to pause and give him the time.’ [drags a hand slowly down my face] Don’t do this to me, Maggie. Haven’t you already put me through enough with Adam and Gansey?

'His thoughtless expression was one of wonder or of pain; with Gansey they were so often the same thing.’ Well that–that’s a sentence.

’“Ronan, there’s no reason for that,” Gansey said sternly, as if Ronan had hurled a toy on the floor.’ Gonna start listing all the mom-friend!Gansey moments, 'cause I gotta.

'He laughed enough that Chainsaw abandoned her paper shredding to verify he wasn’t dying.’ This is cute, other than the implication that Ronan genuinely laughing is a all-too-rare occurrence.

’“So what you’re saying is you can’t explain it.” “I did explain it.” “No, you used nouns and verbs together in a pleasing but illogical format.”’ Hee!

I half expect tired-of-potential-and-only-being-useful-needing-something-more!Blue to break out singing ’I want much more than this provincial life/I want adventure in the great wide somewhere/I want it more than I can tell’ and I don’t say that at all in a disparaging way, that’s just what it made me think of. It’s a very understandable desire on Blue’s part.

’“Jane!” Gansey said joyfully.’ I will never tire of this. :)

'When she returned, she leaned on the table beside Adam, who touched her wrist. She didn’t know what to do in response. Touch it back? The moment had passed. She resented her body for not giving her the correct answer.’ So! Freaking! Relateable!

'Kavinsky headed directly to the large table in the back, and the postures of the other boys all changed drastically….Gansey stood, leaning against the table, and there was something threatening rather than respectful about it.’ I live a protective!Gansey appreciation life.

The Gray Man is quite a character.

Ummmm so chapter eight just hurt my soul a whole lot? Here’s a list of the culprits:

'He’d spent just two hours at the easiest of the jobs — Boyd’s Body & Paint, LLC, replacing brake pads and changing oil and finding what was making that squeaking noise there, no, there — and now, even though he was off, he was ruined for anything else. Sticky and sore and, above all else, tired, always tired.’

'The only rub was, Blue was another troubling thing. She was like Gansey in that she wanted him to explain himself. What do you want, Adam? What do you need, Adam? Want and need were words that got eaten smaller and smaller: freedom, autonomy, a perennial bank balance, a stainless-steel condo in a dustless city, a silky black car, to make out with Blue, eight hours of sleep, a cell phone, a bed, to kiss Blue just once, a blister-less heel, bacon for breakfast, to hold Blue’s hand, one hour of sleep, toilet paper, deodorant, a soda, a minute to close his eyes. What do you want, Adam? To feel awake when my eyes are open.’ (This hurt less than the 'to go home, to go home, to go home’ passage, but ONLY JUST.)

'He’d already seen the ignored, unopened envelope emblazoned with Aglionby Academy’s raven crest. For two days he’d been stepping over it, as if it might disappear if he failed to acknowledge it.’ (Ah, hello avoidant coping skills, my old friend.)

’[Adam] ached inside.’/'He still ached.’/'his spine aching, shoulders aching, soul aching’

'They stared at each other, both hurt.’/'He tried not to let it sound like he was still hurt, but he was, and it did.’/'She tried not to let it sound like she was hurt, but she was, and it did.’

’What do you want, Adam? He didn’t even know.’ (T.T)

'His wide eyes and gaunt face peered back at him, troubled but not unusual.’

I’m so done, he thought. No more. Please, I can’t take any more.’ (SAME.)

'The difference in tuition between this year’s and next was twenty-four hundred dollars. That number again. It couldn’t be a coincidence.’ (SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE GANSEY/ADAM TENSION/CONFLICT/FIGHTING. WHEN DO WE GET TO THE GETTING BETTER PART?)

'They couldn’t hurt Gansey. Nothing could hurt him; people who said money couldn’t buy everything hadn’t seen anyone as rich as the Aglionby boys. They were untouchable, immune to life’s troubles. Only death couldn’t be swiped away by a credit card.’ (Oh Adam honey, you don’t even knooooow. :()

Adam! Some people show and feel love through acts of service! It’s not an inherently bad thing! Concern and the desire to help are not the same thing as pity!

Also, Blue’s “Then don’t be pitiful!” response was kinda strange, even for an impulsively perturbed remark? Just felt weird.

'She was looking at the box that served as his nightstand. Somehow it had moved several feet away from the bed. The side was badly dented, its former contents scattered violently across the floor. Only now did he remember the act of kicking the box, but not the decision to kick it.’ (Crap.)

'He calmed enough to remember that if he waited long enough, carefully analyzing how it felt, the emotion would lose its inertia. It was the same as physical pain. The more he tried to mentally decide what made pain hurt, the less his brain seemed able to remember the pain at all.’

'He’d never escape, not really. Too much monster blood in him. He’d left the den, but his breeding betrayed him. And he knew why he was pitiful. It wasn’t because he had to pay for his school or because he had to work for a living. It was because he was trying to be something he could never be. The sham was pitiful.’

'Some nights he lured himself to sleep by imagining how he would word the favor for Glendower. He needed to get the words exactly right. Now he rolled phrases around his mouth, desperately reaching for one that would comfort him. Ordinarily, words would tumble and lull through his mind, but this time, all he could think was Fix me.’ (On a related note, I’m dead.)

'He had a strange, disconcerting feeling that he couldn’t trust his senses. Like he was tasting an image or smelling a feeling or touching a sound. It was the same as just a few minutes before, the idea that he’d glimpsed a slightly wrong reflection of himself. Adam’s previous worries vanished, replaced with a more immediate concern for this ragged body he was carting around in. He’d been hit so many times. He’d already lost his hearing in his left ear. Maybe something else had been destroyed on one of those tense, wretched nights.’ (*Spontaneously revives to continue worrying myself to death over Adam Parrish* WHY CAN’T I TAKE CARE OF HIM?)

'Ronan, Noah, and Gansey were at the Dollar City in Henrietta, loitering. Theoretically, they were there for batteries. Practically, they were there because both Blue and Adam had work, Ronan’s shapeless anger always got worse at night, and Dollar City was one of the few stores in Henrietta that allowed pets.’ These stupid codependent teens.

“Hello? Oh, hey,” Gansey said to the phone, touching a notebook with a handgun printed on the cover. The oh, hey was accompanied by a definite change in the timbre of his voice. That meant it was Adam’ [tries to feel the joy I deserve at this past my intense anxiety about the probable clashing over the tuition thing]

'Ronan rested his forehead on the topmost shelf. The metal edge snarled against his skull, but he didn’t move. At night, the longing for home was ceaseless and omniscient, an airborne contaminant. He saw it in Dollar City’s cheap oven mitts — that was his mother at dinnertime. He heard it in the slam of the cash register drawer — that was his father coming home at midnight. He smelled it in the sudden whiff of air freshener — that was the family trips to New York. Home was so close at night. He could be there in twenty minutes. He wanted to smash everything off these shelves.’ He and Adam both want to go hoooome and I wish I could provide that for them and turns out I am actually Gansey.

'“Glitter,” whispered Noah reverentially, giving it a shake.’ Truly Noah is their light in the darkness. I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHH.

'Farther down the aisle, Gansey suggested to the phone, “You could come stay at Monmouth. For the night.”’ Like I said. Also, I really, really wish I could hear both sides of this phone conversation.

'Sometimes Ronan thought Adam was so used to the right way being painful that he doubted any path that didn’t come with agony.’ I mean, fair. And heartbreaking.

'Gansey’s back was turned to them. “Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ramirez? I didn’t talk to anyone at the church. Yes, twenty-four hundred dollars. I know that part. I —”’ Oh no. It’s happening.

'But one of the marvelous things about being Ronan Lynch was that no one ever expected him to do anything nice for anyone.’ I would hug you Ronan, except there is now more Adam 'n’ Gansey friction and I’m really bad at handling it!

'Abruptly, Ronan’s entire body went cold. Not a little chilly, but utterly cold. The sort of cold that dries the mouth and slows the blood. His toes went numb, and then his fingers….Then Noah reappeared in a violent sputter, like the power crackling back on. His fingers clutched Ronan’s arm. Cold seeped from the point of contact as Noah dragged heat to become visible.’ Oh, so Noah can do that with Ronan too? Because of his greywaren-ness?

'“I lost …” Noah struggled for words. “There wasn’t air. It went away. The — the line!” “The ley line?” Gansey asked. Noah nodded once, a sloppy thing that was sort of a shrug at the same time. “There was nothing … left for me.”’ Not allowed. Just saying.

'He didn’t say, Or maybe something terrible happened to Adam that day he sacrificed himself in Cabeswater. Maybe he’s messed up all of Henrietta by waking up the ley line. Because they couldn’t talk about that. Just like they couldn’t talk about Adam stealing the Camaro that night. Or about him basically doing everything Gansey had asked him not to. If Adam was stupid about his pride, Gansey was stupid about Adam.’ Yes, we know. :)

'From Ronan’s room, he heard Noah’s laugh. He and Ronan were throwing various objects from the second-story window to the parking lot below. There was a terrific crash.’ Having witnessed my younger brother doing basically the same thing once, I can vouch for the authenticity of this teenage-boy activity.

'Once, he had dreamt that he found Glendower. It wasn’t the actual finding, but the day after. He wouldn’t forget the sensation of the dream. It hadn’t been joy, but instead, the absence of pain. He couldn’t forget that lightness. The freedom.’ Yeah, don’t we all dream about the absence of pain. *buries face in hands* OH GANSEY BOY.

’“Do you want me to talk to her?” This was something he definitely, 100 percent felt certain in his guts that he had no interest in doing. “I’m really bad at talking, Gansey,” Adam said earnestly. “And you’re really good at it. Maybe — maybe if it just comes up natural?” Gansey’s shoulders collapsed; his breath fogged the glass and vanished. “Of course.” “Thanks.” Adam paused. “I just want something to be simple.” So do I, Adam. So do I.’ This right here? This A Whoooole Lot. Is there anything you wouldn’t do for Adam if he asked, Gansey?

'Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, “He threw me out the window!” Ronan’s voice sang out from behind his closed door: “You’re already dead!”’ OH. MY. GOODNESS.

’"You should come over.” “Not tonight,” replied Adam. I’m losing him, Gansey thought. I’m losing him to Cabeswater. He had thought that by staying away from the forest, he’d keep the old Adam — put off the consequences of whatever had happened that night when everything started to go awry. But maybe it just didn’t matter. Cabeswater would take him regardless.’ I dream of the absence of pain!!!

'His skin shivered and crawled, and he realized it was crawling with hornets, the ones that had killed Gansey all those years ago. There weren’t many this time, only a few hundred. Sometimes he dreamt cars full of them, houses full of them, worlds full of them. Sometimes these hornets killed Ronan, too, in his dreams.’ Oh, Ronan.

’Arbores loqui latine. The trees speak Latin. “You’ve done this before,” she said. Time was a circle, a rut, a worn tape Ronan never tired of playing.’ Huh. Has Ronan been dreaming of Cabeswater for years and years?

'Curled on the mattress, [Adam] covered his face with his summer-hot arm. Sometimes, if he blocked his mouth and nose, just this side of suffocation, sleep would overthrow him.’ THAT DOESN’T SOUND HEALTHY, MY BOY. :(

'He was awake enough to think of the invitation from Gansey. There might be an internship in there. Adam knew it was a favor. Did that make it wrong? He’d said no for so long that he didn’t know when to say yes….He hated the careful way Gansey had asked him about it. Tiptoeing, just like Adam had learned to tiptoe around his father. He needed a reset button. Just push the reset button on Adam Parrish and start him again.’ I am sad. (But maaaaybe he’s starting to reconsider the idea that he can never accept hep of any kind?)

'After he had exhausted this line of thought, Ronan gave in to the brief privilege of hating himself, as he always did in church. There was something satisfying about acknowledging this hatred, something relieving about this little present he allowed himself each Sunday.’ Oh, Ronan.

'“Hey, pal,” Matthew whispered. He was the only person who could get away with calling Ronan pal.’ Awww. :)

'Matthew Lynch was a bear of a boy, square and solid and earnest. His head was covered with soft, golden curls completely unlike any of his other family members. And in his case, the perfect Lynch teeth were framed by an easy, dimpled smile. He had two brands of smile: the one that was preceded by a shy dip of his chin, a dimple, and then BAM, smile. And the one that teased for a moment before BAM, an infectious laugh. Females of all ages called him adorable. Males of all ages called him buddy. Matthew failed at many more things than either of his older brothers, but unlike Declan or Ronan, he always tried his hardest.’ Whoops, I’m attached.

'Ronan had dreamt one thousand nightmares about something happening to him.’ *rubs heart*

'A lady reached over the top of Noah to pat Matthew’s head fondly before continuing down the aisle. She didn’t seem to care that he was fifteen, which was all right, because he didn’t, either. Both Ronan and Declan observed this interaction with the pleased expressions of parents watching their prodigy at work.’ Once again: Awww. :)

'Blue very much liked having the boys over to her house. Their presence at the house was agreeable for several different reasons….And the third reason was that it suggested permanence. Blue had acquaintances at school, people she liked. But they weren’t forever. While she was friendly with a lot of them, there was no one that she wanted to commit to for a lifetime. And she knew this was her fault. She’d never been any good at having casual friends. For Blue, there was family — which had never been about blood relation at 300 Fox Way — and then there was everyone else. When the boys came to her house, they stopped being everyone else.’ THEY’RE FAMILY NOW. <3

'Crossly, Blue realized that Gansey had now called her Jane so often that it felt strange to hear him say her real name.’ Embrace it, Blue. Embraaace it. :D

'He hid the insatiable wanting well, but now that she’d seen it once, she couldn’t stop seeing it. But he wouldn’t be able to explain it to Maura. And he would never really have to explain it to Blue. It was his something more.’ Awww. :)

(Sorry this liveblog is devolving mostly into either EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE or But this is cute! and if that is starting to become boring…)

’"What did they die of?” “Mom always said ‘meddling.’ Gansey completely forgot they were being secretive and let out a tremendous laugh. It was a powerful thing, that laugh. He only did it once, but his eyes remained shaped like it. Something inside her did a complicated tug. Oh no! she thought. But then she calmed herself. Richard C. Gansey III has a nice mouth. Now I know he has nice eyes when he laughs, too. This still isn’t love. She also thought: Adam. Remember Adam.’ 1.) I hope this line of rationalization works out for you, Blue. ;) 2.) I am still feeling torn, though. Blue and Adam are cute together. 3.) I’d be okay with a Blue-Gansey-Adam OT3 though.

'Maura frowned. In a low voice, she said, “I think I need to have a conversation with that boy.” “Someone does,” Calla replied, heading up the stairs. Each stair groaned a protest for which she punished the next with a stomp. “Not me. I’ve outgrown train wrecks.” Blue, alarmed, said, “Is he a train wreck?”| Her mother clucked her tongue. “Calla likes drama. Train wreck! When a train takes a long time to go off the tracks, I don’t like to call it a wreck. I like to call it a derailment.” From upstairs, Blue heard Calla’s delighted cackle. “I hate both of you,” Blue said as her mother laughed and galloped up the stairs to join Calla. “You’re supposed to use your powers for good, you know!” After a moment, Adam said to her, without lifting his eyes, “I could hear y’all, you know.” Blue hoped fervently that he was only talking about Maura and Calla and not about her kitchen conversation with Gansey. “Do you think you’re a train wreck?” “That would mean I was on the tracks to start with,” he replied.’ I would just like to say that I am miffed by this passage on Adam’s behalf. Thank you.

The chapter where Mr. Gray comes to 300 Fox Way was… interesting.

'Gansey, a furious sun, glowed from the other side of the universe, his gravitational pull too distant to affect Adam.’ WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME MAGGIE I CAN NEVER RECOVER.

So yeah, I just read the part where Adam is thinking back to how he and Gansey became friends and I think my heart just burst from emotional overload.

'Sometimes Adam wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t stopped that day. What would be happening to him right now?’ Sometimes, Allan wondered what would’ve happened if Robin hadn’t stepped out of the trees that day. What would be happening to him right now? SORRY, I HAVE A PROBLEM.

Also, it only just occurred to me that Allan and Adam are A-names and Robin and Richard (even if that’s not what Gansey goes by) are R-names. This makes me so unreasonably happy!

'Gansey was giddy now that they’d decided to go back to Cabeswater. He hated nothing more than standing still. He ordered Ronan to put on some terrible music — Ronan was always too happy to oblige in this department — and then he abused the Camaro at every stoplight on the way out of town. “Put your back into it!” Gansey shouted breathlessly. He was talking to himself, of course, or to the gearbox. “Don’t let it smell fear on you!” Blue wailed each time the engine revved up, but not unhappily. Noah played the drums on the back of Ronan’s headrest. Adam, for his part, was not wild, but he did his best not to appear unwild, so as not to ruin it for the others.’ REEELATABLLLLE!!!

'Adam felt like he was watching it all from outside. He felt like he was about to catch another image, like a flick of the tarot cards he’d looked at earlier. Was that someone standing by the side of the road? I can’t trust my eyes.’ Leave him aloooone. :(

'Gansey leaned back, head thrown to the side, drunken and silly with happiness. “I love this car,” he said, loud to be heard over the engine. “I should buy four more of them. I’ll just open the door of one to fall into the other. One can be a living room, one can be my kitchen, I’ll sleep in one …” “And the fourth? Butler’s pantry?” Blue shouted. “Don’t be so selfish. Guest room.”’ He’s adorable.

Huh. Cabeswater’s gone!

'Adam felt that the Pig’s status perfectly encapsulated how he felt. It was not really dead, just broken. He was held inside the question of what it meant for him if Cabeswater was gone. Why can’t things just be simple?’ While this is a legitimate concern, Adam, to be fair, just a few moments ago you were worrying about was going to happen when you returned to Cabeswater for the first time after your sacrifice. Poor guy’s anxious over everything. :/

'Ronan leapt out of the car and slammed the door. The thing about Ronan Lynch, Adam had discovered, was that he wouldn’t — or couldn’t — express himself with words. So every emotion had to be spelled out in some other way. A fist, a fire, a bottle. Now Cabeswater was missing and the Pig was hobbled, and he needed to go have a silent shouting fit with his body. In the back window, Adam saw Ronan pick up a rock from the side of the road and hurl it into the creeper. “Well, that’s helpful,” Blue said tersely.’ 1.) [Fond but exasperated] Oh Ronan. 2.) I appreciate your reaction, Blue. You’re not wrong.

'“I’m calling Declan,” Gansey said. “And telling him to bring a battery.” Ronan told Gansey what he thought of this plan, very precisely, with a lot of compound words that even Adam hadn’t heard before. Gansey nodded, but he also dialed Declan’s number. Afterward, he turned to Ronan, who leaned his cheek hard enough against the top of the window to make a dent in his skin.’ Please stop dealing with difficult emotions/situations by causing yourself pain, Ronan, honey.

'Gansey rounded on Adam, clutching his own headrest and looking behind him. “Why is it gone?”’ Why is my mental picture of this so endearing?

'Declan’s Volvo glided up, as quiet as the Pig was loud. Ronan said, “Move up, move up” to Blue until she scooted the passenger seat far enough for him to clamber behind it into the backseat. He hurriedly sprawled back in the seat, throwing one jean-covered leg over the top of Adam’s and laying his head in a posture of thoughtless abandon. By the time Declan arrived at the driver’s side window, Ronan looked as if he had been asleep for days.’ Oh, Ronan. What am I going to do with you?

'And as he sat there, observing the set of Declan’s shoulders and the way his eyes looked, he realized something startling. Declan was afraid. Probably it wasn’t apparent to Gansey, who was fairly oblivious, nor to Blue, who didn’t know what Declan looked like ordinarily. And Ronan’s feelings about his older brother were like blood in the water; he wouldn’t be able to see through the bilious clouds. But to Adam, who’d spent a fair amount of his life afraid — not only afraid, but trying to hide it — it was obvious.’ [Gansey voice] I am right to have Allan feels here and I will not be made to feel bad about it! (Also, in blast-from-the-past news, I’m really close to finally done with putting my anxiety-and-Allan thoughts into words and I’m excited for that.)

I love when Noah senses one of the other boys is in distress and goes to them and does his ghostly best to comfort or assist them. <3

'He thought about the day he’d been stung to death by hornets and lived anyway. Gansey ran over the memory until he no longer felt the thrill of hearing Glendower’s name whispered in his ear, and then instead gave himself over to feeling sorry for himself, that he should have so many friends and yet feel so very alone. He felt it fell to him to comfort them, but never the other way around. As it should be, he thought, abruptly angry with himself. You’ve had it the easiest. What good is all your privilege, you soft, spoiled thing, if you can’t stand on your own legs? ’ OH HONEY :( (But Noah does try!)

'“It’s not just the blood,” Ronan said. His chest moved up and down with his breath. “Something else got out, too.”’ Uh-oh.

Phew. They dispatched the nightmare creature while remaining mostly unscathed. Although they needn’t go around asking each other, "Are you murdered?” with the reply, “I think so.” anymore, please.

'“There was another one,” he said. “It got away.”’ Well, that’s not good!

'“It’s for the distasteful thing,” Gansey said. He plucked at the T-shirt with deprecating fingers. “I’m rather slovenly at the moment, I know.”’ [Fond, amused sputtering]

Oh, they’re going to the Barns!

'Gansey, a bit of the gallows in his voice, advised, “Poke its eye.”’ [Confused, taken-aback sputtering]

'“It feels the same as when you guys lived here,” Gansey said finally. “It seems like it should be different.” “Did you come here a lot?” Blue asked. He exchanged a glance with Ronan. “Often enough.” He didn’t say what Ronan was thinking, which was that Gansey was far more of a brother to Ronan than Declan had ever been.’ Brothers <3<3<3

'Ronan loved it so much. He nearly couldn’t bear it. He wanted to destroy something.’ That’s…one reaction to profound love. (Yes, I know. Profound love for something that’s been stripped away from you.)

'“Ronan Lynch,” he said. It was the voice Ronan couldn’t not listen to. It was sure in every way that Ronan was not. “Stop this right now. Go see your mother. And then we’re leaving.”’ More Mom-Friend!Gansey.

'Ronan walked directly up to her, close enough to see that she had not changed a bit since the last time he had seen her, months and months ago. Though his breath moved the fine hairs around her temples, she didn’t react to her son’s presence. Her chest rose and fell. Her eyes stayed closed. Non mortem, somni fratrem. Not death, but his brother, sleep. Blue whispered, “Just like the other animals.” The truth — he’d known it all along, really, if he thought about it — burrowed into him. Blue was right. His home was populated by things and creatures from Niall Lynch’s dreams, and his mother was just another one of them.’ Huh.

'My soul’s in enough peril as it is.” At this, Gansey’s face turned to a genuine frown and he looked as if he was about to say something. Then he just shook his head a little….“She didn’t try to see the future. It’s not something she became; it’s something she is. I could just as easily say that you’re evil because you can take things from your dreams!” Ronan said, “Yeah, you could.” Gansey’s frown deepened. Again he opened his mouth and closed it.’ Same, Gansey. Same.

'Ronan looked at him. That look, Blue thought. Ronan Lynch would do anything for Gansey. I probably would, too, she thought.’ If only he knew it. *rubs heart*

'Blue and Gansey exchanged a look. Blue’s look said, I’m so, so sorry. Gansey’s said, Am I the pretty one?’ Bless his cotton socks.

'Ronan thought of what Declan had said all those months before: Mom is nothing without Dad. He’d been right.’ Okay, but does Declan know about this stuff and how it works?

'Ronan interrupted the silence. “Cabeswater. Cabeswater is a dream.” Calla stopped rotating. “You don’t have to tell me I’m right,” Ronan said. He thought of all the times he had dreamt of Cabeswater’s old trees; how familiar it had felt to walk there; how the trees had known his name. He was tangled in their roots, somehow, and they, in his veins. “If Mom is in Cabeswater, she’ll wake up.” Calla stared at him. Silence was never a wrong answer.’ Okay then.

'But those words of Declan’s needled Ronan: She’s nothing without Dad. It was like he knew. Ronan wanted badly to know how much Declan knew, but it wasn’t like he could ask him.’ No, that would be too easy.

'“Says you and Dad were both dreamers,” Matthew said, “and you’re going to make us lose everything.” Ronan sat very still. He was so still so quickly that Chainsaw froze as well, her head tilted toward the youngest Lynch brother, purloined tuna sandwich forgotten. Declan knew about their father. Declan knew about their mother. Declan knew about him.’ Curious. Very curious.

The Gray Man is going to Monmouth Manufacturing!

'He had spent forty-eight hours more or less awake and restless and then, on the third day, he had bought a side-scan sonar device, two window airconditioners, a leather sofa, and a pool table. “Now do you feel better?” Adam had asked drily. Gansey had replied, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Hey, man,” Ronan said, “I like the pool table.” The entire situation made Blue apoplectic.’ Tag yourself; I’m Adam with a dash of Ronan. Pool tables are cool.

’"You are still wearing those incredibly stupid boat shoes, and of all the things that you have bought, you still haven’t replaced them!” Gansey, bewildered, observed his feet. The movement of his toes was barely visible through the tops of his Top-Siders. Really, in light of recent events, these shoes were the only things that were right in the world. “I like these shoes.”’ Update: he’s still adorable.

’[Gansey] exchanged a glance with Adam, because it had to be done’ 1) What does this mean? 2) I love them SO MUCH!

'In some parallel universe, there was a Gansey who could tell Blue that he found the ten inches of her bare calves far more tantalizing than the thirteen cubic feet of bare skin Orla sported. But in this universe, that was Adam’s job. } He was in a terrible mood.’ Oooooh. 👀

'So these were the people Greenmantle had warned him about. Fellow seekers of the Greywaren, whatever it might be.’ Curious and curiouser.

'Blue cheerfully spit a mouthful of brown water on his boat shoes. It pooled in the canvas over his toes. “Good God,” he said. “Now they’re really boat shoes,” she replied.’ Blue’s crusade continues.

'He knew what it was. He just didn’t know why it was. He said, “Well, that’s a wheel off the Camaro.” And it was. It looked identical to the wheels currently residing on the Pig — except this wheel was clearly several hundred years old. The discolored surface was pocked and lumpy. With all of the deterioration, the elegantly symmetrical wheel didn’t appear that out of place beside the shield boss. If you overlooked the tattered Chevrolet logo in the middle. “Do you remember losing one a little while ago?” Ronan asked. “Like, five hundred years or so?”’ Aggressively the Most Curious.

'Blue held his gaze, unflinching. Crisp, she replied, “None at all.” And it was a lie. It should not have been, but it was, and Gansey, who prized honesty above nearly every other thing, knew it when he heard it. Blue Sargent cared whether or not he was interested in Orla. She cared a lot. As she whirled toward the truck with a dismissive shake of her head, he felt a dirty sort of thrill.’ Oh, you kids.

'“Hey, Noah.” He was too busy being ghostly to attend to her, however. Currently, he was engaged in one of his creepiest activities: reenacting his own death. He glanced around the tiny yard as if appraising the forest glen containing only himself and his friend Barrington Whelk. Then he let out a terrible, mangled cry as he was struck from behind by an invisible skateboard. He made no sound when he was hit again, but his body jerked convincingly. Blue tried not to look as he bucked a few more times before falling to the ground. His head jerked; his legs bicycled. Blue took a deep, uneven breath. Though she had seen him do it four or five times now, it was always unsettling. Eleven minutes. That was how long the entire homicidal portrait lasted: one boy’s life destroyed in less time than it took to cook a hamburger. The last six minutes, the ones that took place after Noah had first fallen but before he actually died, were excruciating. Blue considered herself a fairly steadfast, sensible girl, but no matter how many times she heard his torn-up breath seizing in his throat, she felt a little teary. Between the twisted roots of the front yard, Noah’s body jerked and stilled, finally dead. Again.’ I feel w o u n d e d.

'They wandered to the door like that, a pretzel of dead boy and not-psychic girl.’ Don’t even look at me!

'Gleefully, Noah said, “There’s a pool table now! I’m the worst at pool ever! It’s wonderful.”’ THIS SWEET CHILD IS GIVING ME EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH.

'Gansey, pacing next to his ruined miniature Henrietta, set his eyes on Ronan. There was something intense and heedless in them. There were many versions of Gansey, but this one had been rare since the introduction of Adam’s taming presence. It was also Ronan’s favorite. It was the opposite of Gansey’s most public face, which was pure control enclosed in a paper-thin wrapper of academia. But this version of Gansey was Gansey the boy. This was the Gansey who bought the Camaro, the Gansey who asked Ronan to teach him to fight, the Gansey who contained every wild spark so that it wouldn’t show up in other versions. Was it the shield beneath the lake that had unleashed it? Orla’s orange bikini? The bashed-up remains of his rebuilt Henrietta and the fake IDs they’d returned to? Ronan didn’t really care. All that mattered was that something had struck the match, and Gansey was burning.’ #JusticeforMiniatureHenrietta

'“Don’t say anything stupid to him,” he told Gansey.’ Did I read that right? Did Ronan really just advise Gansey to be careful?

'The Gray Man recalled the buzz of his phone and patted his pockets. His phone was missing, however. Maura Sargent had stolen it while they were making out. In its place was the ten of swords: the Gray Man slain on the ground and Maura the sword driven through his heart.’ Interesting. Sorry that always seems to be my reaction to the Gray Man, but there it is.

#emily reads the raven cycle #status: tdt pg. 230 #jammeke #exlibrisfangirl

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snkpolls · 7 years ago

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SnK S3E08 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 368 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 352 Responses

84% of total respondents gave the episode a 4 or 5 star rating. The episode this week was overall considered very enjoyable!

kinda average,some cuts didnt make sense,lets see if the next one is good.

This episode was so great, I really enjoyed it! But there are still things that are bothering me.

This episode was fricking amazing.

All in all, one of the best episodes in the season for me, hands down.

I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to the next ep.

Amazing as always! ❤️

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SCENES WERE YOUR FAVORITES? 356 Responses

Eren making his move in order to protect his friends was the overall favorite scene of the episode. Closely behind is Squad Levi showing up to save Eren and Historia. Despite some upset about the change, the scene where Levi tells Historia she has to become the queen ranked third.

The hardest question for me to answer was what my most favourite scene was because frankly speaking, none of the “big” and “impressive” scenes made an impact on me. I just rewatched S2 and was blown away by how the last few episodes especially were so well done. I wish this season makes me feel the same way later on.

Historias Speech before Levi squad gets there had so much feels

WHICH CHARACTER INTERACTION WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 354 Responses

There were lots of good character interactions this week. Most shippers seemed quite happy with theirs. The most loved moment of the episode, however, was Mikasa joking with Historia that she should punch Levi in the face. Closely behind was Levi lamenting having to tell Eren to make a choice again, and in third was Historia’s speech while saving Eren.

ALL OF THE ABOVE. YOU CANT MAKE ME PICK ONE HOW DARE YOU

They cut it out T.T

Oof, too many can't chose. Historia and Eren, Mikasa saving Historia, Jean and Historia motivating Eren, Levi apologizing to Eren, Sasha and Eren, Eremin hand touch <3, Levi and Erwin, Hange and Historia, Jean and Connie stepping in for Historia.....

Historia refusing the plan to let Eren be eaten by Rod-EREHISU4LYFE

That beautiful "Danchou" made me WEAK.

I like two: Mikasa x Historia and Mikasa telling Historia to punch Levi.

Every Levi & Eren interaction! So many Ereri moments in this episode ~

Kenny

MikaHisu is sailing hard

Levi and Eren interactions were amazing ♥

bjitch you think I'm neutral enough about snk to pick one think again

Character moments and interactions are what truly make this series for me.

I really enjoyed Hange's contribution to the discussion about Eren's and Rod's fates. The music, the flaming titan in the background, Hange pointing at it, and the overall drama of the conversation was on point!

BEST TITAN STEAM WINDBLOWN HAIR: 357 Responses

Levi won this overall, but plenty of voters appreciated that we put Connie in the rankings despite being bald! ;)

ROD REISS’ TITAN IS ALL CGI - HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS? 356 Responses

Nearly half of voters were surprisingly content with the CGI and thought that it added more disgust and hugeness to Rod’s titan. Looks like WIT utilized the CGI well this time around!

Hi WIT what the fuck

I didn't really like the CGI in season 2, but to be honest I expected it for the turkey titan and holy hell does it look big 10/10

I don't mind it too much, but i think traditional animation would be better.

I remember this feeling of absolute horror and disgust when I first saw Rod Reiss' titan back in the manga but the memes over the years made me forget. Wit has very successfully brought those feelings to the fore again, and goddamn I get shudders even now and I've rewatched the episode twice already.

I'm halfway though... A part of me wanna see turkey titan moving. A part of me actually prefer worm titan coz it is more disgusting. Anyways CGI are overdone in this scene. Wonder if the face reveal will be as disgusting as the rest of the body

I was worried about it at first glance as the Colossal Titan in season 2 was too out of place, but it worked and probably helped that Rod’s Titan can’t stand upright.

It’s tacky but I’m here for it

Looks great in some scenes... kinda shitty in others :/

MEEEAAAAAATTTTLLOOOOOAAAFFFF

The cgi is disgusting but I like it like that. It's like your ugly child, you still like it. Plus if it's allows them to reduce the time and the cost of the animation I'm fine with it. I'd rather have an aime with a bit of cgi every year than no anime at all or a season every 4 years.

im scared

Yummy yummy meatloaf.

DO YOU THINK KENNY CARED FOR HIS SQUAD? 357 Responses

Overall, the majority of voters agree that Kenny cared about his squad. Only slightly less than half of those voters believe that he still valued himself more, though.

He was concerned for their safety but was also probably like "do you guys not have any self preservation?

Maybe? I don't know, lol. We didn't see him interact with them much.

Kenny probably cared about them a bit but didn't feel any deep bonds with them.

I think he mostly cared about Traute because she was his second in command, not to mention her nihilistic nature was exciting for him.

Idk

WHOSE PEP TALK TO EREN WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 355 Responses

HIstoria’s words to Eren while he was certain they were all going to die won for the best pep talk. Not far behind was Levi telling Eren to make a choice. Jean’s commentary about Eren never being able to do anything by himself also got a decent amount of votes!

YOUR REACTION TO EREN’S DECISION TO BELIEVE IN HIMSELF? 355 Responses

Overall, voters had a positive reaction to Eren’s decision to believe in himself instead of his friends.

EREN WAS GREAT AND I M SO PROUD.

Attack titan's big dick energy saved them all.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT JEAN AND CONNIE’S COMMENTS DEFENDING HISTORIA? 351 Responses

73% of voters were happy to see Jean and Connie sticking up for Historia. 17% weren’t invested, while others think that the scene was shoehorned in and unneeded.

Connie and Jean are definitely best boys (and underrated imo) and I loved that they gave them this filler scene but I feel like it would've made even more sense if they would've animated the wall scene from Chapter 51. Still loved this though. <3

Poor Connie, he didn't know what words to use. I'm glad Jean helped him out :) They're great friends.

I felt like they (WIT) messed up a great scene from the manga and didn't add anything of a value to that scene

It makes a lot of sense that Connie would jump in Historia's defense to prevent her from taking another role given that he was there to witness her shedding one during Utgard. And while Jean's is great, it works better at cementing his tumultous relationship with Levi and how he works as the voice of Springlestein.

While I like the concept of the 104th kids showing their concern for Historia, the dialogue pretty much spelled out Historia's character arc and felt incredibly forced and on the nose

It's a decent part of a scene that shouldn't have been changed.

On the fence because it seemed very filler

Connie and Jean r protecting their wife

WHICH OF LEVI’S DOUBLE ENTENDRES WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 352 Responses

It was a hard choice, but the majority of you appreciated those classic double entendres--with “That’s what I call hardening” taking the lead while 34.9% of you made us feel really attacked.

EREN MENTIONED INVESTIGATING HIS OLD BASEMENT IN SHIGANSHINA - WHERE’S THE KEY? 353 Responses

41% of voters believe that Eren is still in possession of the key but that the detail is simply overlooked Because Anime™. 30% believe the key was stored away for safekeeping due to the potential of Eren getting kidnapped. A small percentage believe that either Levi, Mikasa or Armin had it the whole time. A few of you think Eren is hiding it in less appropriate places and make us very concerned.

Shit. Fuck. I completely forgot about the key...

Erwin has it

I never noticed that even in the manga LMAO

Hell if i know

I didn't even care before this question and I won't start caring now lmao

Plothole

Stolen by Rod when they took his shirt. He just hasn't realized it yet.

this question is going to haunt me for eternity

Eren hid it in his asshole. No one would look there, that smart guy!

He keeps key in his ass

In his ass

up dat booty

HOW’D YOU FEEL ABOUT JEAN CALLING EREN A “TOPLESS WIMP” INSTEAD OF A SHIRTLESS WONDER? 356 Responses

The votes on this question were relatively balanced. Most voters just see it as a translation difference with no other meaning to it, while closely behind are those who preferred “shirtless wonder”. A small amount are looking forward to hearing how Funimation chooses to script this in the dub.

DID YOU MISS LEVI’S SALTY COMMENT - “JUST HOW SHITTY CAN THIS DAY GET”? 357 Responses

The majority of voters agreed that salty Levi would have been nice to keep around. 33% didn’t even realize the quote was missing!

more salty levi is required

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM ANIMATING THE COLLAPSE OF THE CHAPEL AND THE GROUND? 354 Responses

Nearly 77% of voters were thrilled to see the chapel and ground collapsing. 12% didn’t think it was all that special.

WERE YOU EXCITED TO SEE EREN’S HARDENING POWER ANIMATED? 356 Responses

65% of respondents were happy to see the hardening in action and thought WIT did a great job with it. 14% were happy to see it, but felt a bit underwhelmed. 11% preferred the mystery in the manga.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SCENE WITH EREN CALLING ROD TITAN A MIDGET AND PUNCHING THE AIR BEING REMOVED? 357 Responses

Nearly half of voters aren’t happy that WIT cut this detail out, because it showed that Eren can’t activate the coordinate as he pleases. 23% are confident that the scene will be moved to on top of the wall in the next episode. 14% didn’t care.

Why didn't they do the scene with Eren yelling at Rod's Titan?

I don't think that comment would've fit the tone of the scene. I'm hoping that it will be made clear that Eren normally can't use the power some other way.

I am so so angry that this scene was cut!! Not only was it HILARIOUS but it was a small moment of reprieve from the heavy atmosphere and I am so bitter about its removal!

I’m guessing they’ll be moving that scene to the top of the wall in the next episode

I’m okay with what WIT did, but it would’ve been nice too to see it animated.

I’m just salty it got removed. I personally thought it was hilarious and added comedic relief. Same goes for hange telling Erwin she’s ok - they really cut that scene down.

I miss that it was removed, but it was a bit comedic and would've added some flak to the scene

Very very disappointed. But not because it erased the hint about how the axe works but because of Levi's reaction! Goddammit wit not again!

I don't remember that one o.o I should re-read the manga I think XD

They'll probably move the scene to the next episode or have an equivalently expository scene later.

WE FINALLY GOT THE SCENE WHERE LEVI TELLS HISTORIA SHE NEEDS TO BE QUEEN - WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? 354 Responses

With the top two options being at nearly a tie, 25.1% still believe that the scene should have been included before the kidnapping - brutality included - and 24.9% were just happy to have it although the characterization of Historia and Levi feels changed. 23% agreed that the change was needed as Levi lifting Historia at this point in the story would no longer make any sense. 17% preferred the change and felt it gave Historia more agency over her situation.

Considering this scene took place after the kidnapping it wouldn’t make sense for Levi to get angry and attack her but the scene was pretty underwhelming compared to the manga. Although I’m just glad that this means we still get to see Historia punch Levi (even if he hadn’t really done anything to deserve it in this version).

I feel like Historia accepted her fate as the new queen way too fast.

They should’ve added it before the Levi Vs Kenny fight. It was important to both of their characters and I’m still pissed WIT cut Levi’s speech out.

While it would have been great to see a little more irrational side of Levi, the change fit in very well and helped establish the relationships of Squad Levi

It should have being either included in it original form before the kidnapping or dropped all together including payoff with punching and smiling. Now it makes little sense for Mikasa to suggest something like that or for Historia to feel that way, we also lost asshole Levi moment, which would had add a dimension to his anime version. But oh well.

They should’ve added it before the Levi Vs Kenny fight. It was important to both of their characters and I’m still pissed WIT cut Levi’s speech out.

Meh. Anime wants to have a cake and eat a cake. At least they are hilarious!

Why do you guys want to see a grown man throw around a little girl so much? Gross! Grow up! I couldn't be happier with the way that scene change went! As well as Mikasa's being the one to get Reeves' line about punching Levi - I think it both fits and is unexpectedly cute.

i wish they kept the scene like in the manga because it really builds up anger in historia that she later releases by her big AckerPunchTM

MIKASA TELLS HISTORIA TO PUNCH LEVI INSTEAD OF DIMO REEVES. WAS THIS A GOOD CHANGE? 357 Responses

At a pretty even split, the most votes went toward believing that the scene was okay, but still preferring the manga’s turn of events. 24% believed that the way WIT did it was funnier. 22% feel like Mikasa’s comment is out of the blue. 21% are just happy Mikasa saved Levi’s smile.

The feeling that I got from Mikasa's smile/smirk was that she JOKINGLY suggested that Historia hit Levi, mostly because she's not his biggest fan and she enjoys messing with people (for example, eating the bread in front of Sasha, and the funny expression she elicited from Historia by saying this). Mikasa is going to be surprised (and ofc delighted) when she realizes Historia actually took her literally lmao

Why did Mikasa told Historia to punch Levi? Historia has no reason to punch him since he did nothing to her. It doesn't make any sense for her to hit him just because Mikasa told her to, or at least it has so much less meaning than in the manga…

About the punch, I still prefer the way the event happened in the manga but IM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT NOW WE KNOW WE GONNA SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL SMILE

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 358 Responses

32% of voters are pumped to see Rod’s gruesome titan face looming over the wall. 25% are excited to see Eren punch the brat out of himself, 20% are ready for Smol to chat with Tol an 14% are looking forward to seeing Eren fighting in his titan form again.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

A lot of people yelling at WIT. Sure, I miss some of the exclusions too but the pacing change was needed and stuff has to be cut. The important bits of the story are still all there. I think they're doing a fantastic job and I'm almost sure Isayama gave his thumbs-up for all the changes.

Thanks wit for giving us so much mikasa this episode. My daughter deserves all that screentime ❤️😍

i get meatloaf titan and eruri. i am a happy boi.

The soundtrack was fuking amazing 😚👌 as always

Since there were no questions about the soundtrack I'll use this place to try to convert everybody to the Sawanism. God the music was a masterpiece!

The CGI worm titan was such an alienating thing to witness that it took away from the horror of the situation. It might have looked really hideous as this creepy-crawly giant thing of a titan, but sadly it just didn't work. On second viewing, it didn't bother me as much as the first time, though, so I guess one can get used to it.

I don't know if any of the music was new or not but wow!!! It made those scenes feel so much more emotional

RIP Traute Caven, our nihilist queen

Levi is a much sweeter version of himself in the anime, I've noticed. In fact nothing is as dark as it was in the manga. But Accordion Titan is way creepier animated so no complaints there.

I'm kinda disappointed that WIT remove some Frieda flashbacks, (last episode with the possessed Frieda scene missing, and here Historia not thinking about her alongside Ymir) it reduces the impact she has on Historia's life/development.

I was watching it in the night, so it gave me some double thrills :D Rod's titan was really creepy and Sawano's music made him to be even more scary. In my opinion the animation was awesome. It looked much better than I expected. The whole extreme moments in the cave was also amazing and I truly liked them.

For once WIT did eremin some justice with their reunion touch (my heart!), every mikahisu moment was perfect (yes, even the one at the end where mikasa tells historia to punch levi) and I ADORED that they gave historia so much agency in her decision to become queen! Honestly if I had to watch Levi rough her up at this point in the series, I probably would've vomited. It would've been incredibly unnecessary (which is likely why isa changed it, don't y'all think?) and this way was SO MUCH BETTER. Plus jean and conny being so concerned for her was THE BEST THING EVER, they're just like "but dad, what about my friend's FEELINGS?" and I LOVED IT. That's snk at its core tbh. Historia definitely deserves it too. And her power walk into the briefing room afterward was everything! In conclusion! Eremin is real! Mikahisu is real! And erurihan is fuckin real! That "danchou" had me FLOORED and we already know how much both erwin and levi love hange so like.. get with the winning team y'all.

Armin described the moment Rod's titan came out from under the chapel as something like "the end of the world". Between the music and his nightmarish CGI look, I was sold on that description. Oh, and since I mentioned music, Sawano's at it again, the absolute madman! Will he ever stop coming up with good tunes? The answer is never.

My ovaries are ready for wet cast in next episode!!

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 337 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again on Tuesday!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #snk s3 #poll results

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tplenvs3000 · 5 years ago

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Nature Through Art

Art has been used for many centuries to express the beauty behind nature. It can appear in many forms from realism to abstract and mimic how nature can make you feel in an exact moment. Nature has been expressed through art in history, for example how some of the first humans alive used to draw on cave walls. The drawings would consist of visual representations of the landscape, and animals on the land that are hunted for food, expressing their daily interactions with nature. It is said that ancient cave drawings may have been the cause of how we use language today to communicate (O’Neill, 2018). The following photo and link are examples of historic drawings that have made history and how we as humans communicate today (O’Neill, 2018): CHECK THEM OUT!!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-5419511/Ancient-cave-drawings-led-modern-lanuages.html

The textbook presents one of the ways I interpret nature through art. Experiencing art through art museums, music festivals, nature photography, expressive sculptures, and theater performances have all given me different nature perceptions and emotions (Beck, Cable, & Knudson, 2018). For example, when I was younger, I saw a skit performed at school that portrayed the message of how important nature is. The importance elaborated onto how we have to treat nature with kindness and respect, which in tern will leave you feeling comforted. Since this moment I have always been environmentally friendly and strive to be a 100% green consumer so I can help preserve the beauty of nature. One quote from the textbook that really struck out to me was “If the songs are not sung and the stories are not told, the land will die” (Beck, Cable, & Knudson, 2018). This really touched me emotionally because for centuries the beauty of nature has been expressed through art, singing or drawing about it gives a larger meaning to nature. Without the songs being sung and art being created, who knows how people would interpret nature. Who would know anything about our ancestors and the first people who walked on Earth? Ask yourself, when was the first-time art had taught you something about nature?

The Group of Seven were Canadian landscape painters that travelled around visually representing what they saw. This is the second way I began interpreting nature through art. In school as a child we are taught about this group of painters and it influenced me to begin nature photography (I couldn’t paint very well so this was the next best thing). I now as well travel around to capture some of Canadas most beautiful landscapes. Like the photos below. Because their art interpreted the beauty of the Canadian landscape, they became apart of our history. Now that they’re apart of history, children have the chance to learn about the beauties of this country from a young age. Just like it influenced me, it can influence anyone.

Oxtongue River, Ragged Falls in Muskoka, Ontario.

St. Marks Summit trail, British Columbia.

The above photo is of inukshuks. Inukshuks are structures usually built by Inuit people as a traditional landmark sign. They symbolize safety, hope and friendship within nature. I as well interpret nature through art as a symbol of comfort, hope and happiness. Thank you for reading, see you next week!

References:

Beck, L., Cable, T.T., & Knudson, D.M. (2018). Interpreting Cultural and Natural Heritage for a Better World. Urbana, IL: Sagamore Publishing. ISBN/ISSN: 978-1-57167-865-2

O’Neil, M. (2018). Ancient cave drawings may hold clues on the origins of language: Experts say prehistoric people created artwork in 'acoustic hotspots' to enhance sounds that went along with their pictures. Retrieved from https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-5419511/Ancient-cave-drawings-led-modern-lanuages.html

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aja154ever · 8 years ago

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GRANRODEO LIVE TOUR 2017 Pierrot Dancin’ Zepp DiverCity Tokyo - 06/09/2017

Set List

Pierrot Dancin’

TRASH CANDY

ナミダバナ

Glorious days

FAT SHAPER

君に one way love

日常ホライゾン

Fake lover’s true heart

HARD DRIVING MIDNIGHT

ボルケーノ

The Other Self

終わらぬ夢

BIG SUN

Darlin’

NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE

カナリヤ

modern strange cowboy

UNDER THE SKY

Once & Forever

Y.W.F.

Can Do

The fan report I thought I couldn’t write - because it was so hard to put these feelings into words. But still wrote anyway, for recording purposes. As in my previous GR report (March mini live), this may not be arranged in order. And warning: a very Kiiyan-centric post.

I’m relatively new to the GR fandom, though I met Kiiyan from UtaPri and has been a fan of his singing voice from the first time I heard it. This is actually my first time to attend a GR full live so yeah feelings, feelings, and feelings. This is my 4th time to watch and hear Kiiyan sing live though, and among those, his voice was in the best condition this time.

I was already expecting Pierrot Dancin’ to be the first song plus it’s no longer my first time to hear it live anyway, but no, I was not prepared at all for Kiiyan’s voice. The acapella intro was SO devastatingly good that my heart jumped out of my chest. I wasn’t able to yell cheers and get pumped up with everyone because I stood there as if I was struck by a lightning lol. It.was.that.good. But later on as the song progressed and the music joined Kiiyan, I think the performance was a bit off - except for today’s intro, it was better the last time I heard it.

But aside from Pierrot Dancin’, I think everything else was good.

TRASH CANDY - Oh this song will always be special to me as this was the first GR song I heard live, thanks to the Bungou Stray Dogs event. And I LOVE BSD, and Kiiyan reminds me so much of Chuuya that I can see Chuuya singing this song. I love them both so so much T.T

The stretch (idk what to call it) for the last word in ナミダバナ (知れ-Shire) was magnificently done receiving cheers from the crowd.

Everyone, including the crowd, did better in FAT SHAPER and Fake lover’s true heart today than the first time. Oh both songs was a blast!

Really good vocals for HARD DRIVING MIDNIGHT OMG

The Other Self - another GR song close to my heart.

Nanno tame ni ganbaru no mada mienai kedo Sore demo yukundarou Sore dake wa shitteiru Chii ya meiyo dake nanka janai ze Mukau saki wa mae dake de ii Shita wo muitatte jimen shika mienai Dakara ikeru toko made

(“For what purpose are we doing our best? We cannot see it yet. But even so, we will still go on, right? That’s the only thing we know. This isn’t just for status nor prestige. Where we should face is only towards what’s in front of us. If we look down, there’s nothing to see but the ground. So we should go wherever we can”)

This lyrics strikes me personally that I actually quoted it in a speech contest I joined back at school. And hearing it live straight from Kiiyan for the first time, so you expect tears from me. Yes, Kiiyan, no matter how harsh life is, I’ll do my best. Thank you.

終わらぬ夢 - THIS. THIS. THIS. This is one of my personal favorites in the latest album and have been wishing badly to hear this live. So when I learned that Kiiyan sang this in the Hokkaido tour, I said I’m gonna die when this moment comes. Now what. I just can’t describe. It was astoundingly beautiful. Kiiyan how could you sound just the same or even better live? I apologize to the people beside me but I did my best to control my overwhelming emotions. I cried more when Kiiyan sang the line, “dakara nakanaide” lol

Glorious Days and BIG SUN sound so good live! I REALLY loved the live version more than the CD. Kiiyan forgot some lyrics in BIG SUN’s chorus though. He just sang “tenenenen.” LOL KIIYAN PLEASE

Darlin’ - NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE - カナリヤ - modern strange cowboy - This was a very exhaustingly fun line-up. Crowd participation at its best. But can I just say that I love Darlin’ so much yayyyy

UNDER THE SKY - THIS. THIS. You know Kiiyan’s voice is always beautiful but slow songs like this really kill me. Again he sang this REALLY well. Oh please I’m running out of adjectives. I badly wanted to shout “I love you too” after he said the last line, “I love you.”

Once & Forever - Y.W.F. - Encore. Everyone was already so wild at this point. Can this not end please. I just want to jump and bang my head all night.

Can Do - Ending the night with this made me reflect as this is where everything for me began. I met GRANRODEO from Kuroko no Basuke, and so basically Can Do is the first GR song I learned. It will forever hold a special place in my heart. This was the last song so I just went all out yelling, jumping, singing, dancing, everything.

MC points

It’s been 3 weeks since the Hokkaido live, which was the first leg of the tour. And so they said it felt like the first day again. e-zuka said that he was nervous and joked the crowd not to look at him as he wants to focus.

e-zuka teased Kiiyan about crying in the Utapri Live. Introducing the next song, Kiiyan suddenly spoke in a cool voice that caught e-zuka’s attention. He said, “I thought you already left that good voice and the tears in Seibu Dome.” Kiiyan got embarrassed and replied that what was circulating on the internet about him was a lie (just like what he said in his tweet lol). He told us to watch the Blu-ray when it arrives, and see that he had that scene cut out! Oh tsun-tsun Kiiyan kawaii

They talked about the fact that drummer Shin has not revealed his age yet to the public, but they do know it. e-zuka hints that Shin actually came from school with a ランドセル on his back. (You know the big backpack that Japanese grade school kids use). Kiiyan laughs saying, “That’d make him Shin-chan!”

Kiiyan talked about the rainy season and the coming of summer. e-zuka then sang and played Happy birthday with his guitar. (Kiiyan’s birthday’s coming up yay!) Speaking of birthdays, they asked if anyone in the crowd was celebrating her birthday today, and there were actually some. They greeted them and thanked that they were able to come even if it’s their birthday. Incidentally, there was also a couple who was celebrating their wedding anniversary. Kiiyan also mentioned that today also happened to be Johnny Depp’s birthday. e-zuka then thanked everyone and introduced himself as Johnny Depp.

They mentioned that there are still a few tickets left for the additional Osaka tour in August. They said that they also mentioned this in the Hokkaido tour, so why are there still tickets left even after 3 weeks?? Lol I always find it cute when Kiiyan awkwardly self-promotes. Kiiyan said that on the contrary, it was apparently difficult to get tickets for the “Yama no Hi (lit. Mountain Day)” live, and he wondered why. Lol. It just happened to fall on “Taniyama no Hi (Taniyama’s Day”) and I’m so bitter I’m one of those who has not gotten one tho I got Aug 10 but still huhu

Kiiyan’s MC was interrupted at some point when sweat kept on flowing into his eyes. He then wiped his face with a towel. I just want to mention this because it was cute lol

When they announced that G7 will be held in Okinawa, Takita-san asked if he will be coming along too. Kiiyan said of course because he and e-zuka can’t do it by themselves. Takita-san said that he has actually not been to Okinawa which gained an “EEEEEHHHHHH?” from the crowd. Takita-san asked why they are making such EH reaction, “Is it that bad (that I haven’t gone to Okinawa)??”

When Kiiyan announced that there’s only one song left, he received a sad “EEEEHHH” from the crowd. Kiiyan grunted, “Why are you looking so dissatisfied? I just said that I’ll still be singing!” Lol Kiiyan we’re so satisfied but we just did not want this to end

Kiiyan said that it was so fun that they do not want the live to end. The crowd suggested to start over again. e-zuka enthusiastically responded, “Let’s do this again together!” as he pointed out that live performances are done by them and the audience together.

Photos/posts from official accounts:

(This was posted on the 2nd day but I just want to post this photo that had me laughing on the floor Kiiyan please why)

Wew. Wew. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this but still, I’m saying this again - that Kiiyan’s singing voice is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. While listening there live, my thoughts were like, “Everyone should listen to this! It’s too unfortunate that some people do not know about Kiiyan.” No single word exists or not even an essay can suffice to describe Kiiyan’s voice. But even so, as a fan I admit that Kiiyan’s singing is actually far from perfect. I mean voice quality and singing ability are two different things. Moreover, I actually had hesitations before as it seemed that Kiiyan sounds better in CD than in live. But no, I have really affirmed today that he can sound pretty much the same whether recorded or live. Or that he can actually sound better in live. Damn I heard him sing 21 songs this time okay. Sure there were glitches at some parts of the song, but I want it raw and I’m embracing all his imperfections. I was torn between keeping my eyes open to watch him or closing my eyes so I can listen to his voice more intently. I really love watching Kiiyan as I can feel his love for music, singing, and performing. Because that’s one of the most valuable things, right? That the performer himself is having fun with what he’s doing.

It was a very, very fun and gratifying night; but more importantly it was a night full of admiration and gratitude. And I thank God again for bringing Kiiyan and GRANRODEO into my life. See you next live! ❤

#granrodeo #taniyama kishou #kiiyan #kishow #谷山紀章 #e-zuka #iizuka masaaki #飯塚昌明 #pierrot dancin #seiyuu #granrodeo live #music #zepp diver city tokyo #my original content

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