#AND IM STILL NOT SATISFIED WITH THE END RESULT

[staruborn]

tap on image for better quality

All I know is pain and suffering

also new avatar :O

[kyokod]

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ᡣ𐭩*·˚ lucky girl syndrome

@khyeins ‧₊

[britneyshakespeare]

three thoughts

1) drawing myself in the mirror, i expected, would be very hard w my body image issues. they are deeply ingrained from childhood and though i cope w them better nowadays they are not gone, and they have taken me to very dark places before. i’ve mainly coped w it by not looking at myself for too long since fixating on my appearance can make me spiral. but once i sat down and actually started drawing, it wasn’t that bad at all. i didn’t have the fear of whether or not my arms were too big or my belly too folded since i was only thinking about how my shoulder was aligned with my collar bones and at what angle those are in relation to my elbow, etc. looking at the plain contours of my body in relation to each other, objectively, that wasn’t so bad at all since i wasn’t worried about whether the product was “beautiful” as much as if it was accurate. and, i wasn��t looking at my body as a whole until i finished the drawing. i was looking at parts of them, though not the parts i normally fixate negatively on. i was just trying to navigate the landmarks. it was kind of healing to realize i could do this. normally when i feel detached from my body, it makes me resentful of the fact that i live in one. today i was not resenting my body but just looking at it for what it was. a thing that exists. like anything else.

2) wow, i mean. i always know i’m flat-chested. but i’m flat-chested.

3) my back hurts.

[generalsmemories]

Ginkgo leaves

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ based on the ask: Since reqs are open, you think you could write jing yuans reaction to his lover being Mara-struck? Thank you! - requested by anonymous

✧ contents: established relationship, angst, hurt/almost no comfort lmfao, implied character death, mentions of other characters, pov mostly written in jing yuan's pov, still usage of 2nd pov (referring the reader as you), mayhaps ooc because jing yuan is an emotional wreck.

✧ a/n: when i tell ya'll i legit struggled to be able to write this entire thing. there's been like 3-4 scrapped drafts because halfway through writing i would just NOT be satisfied with the result. to the anon who requested this, i'm so sorry it took this long - but i hope the upcoming trainwreck makes up for it! a trainwreck im still not actually satisfied with LMFAO. but it's better than the other 5 scrapped works. also not beta-read so fellas if u see a spelling error - no you didn't.

p.s: some mara-struck information i give here are totally fanmade for the purpose of this fic alone, as such don't take whatever i write about mara here as what actually happens canonically to characters (then again most of the playable characters have different symptoms of mara themselves).

"Benefactor, am I correct to believe you're asking me if the general has any specific interests?" Tingyun asks with a snicker, the trailblazer looking away from her prying eyes while mumbling a quiet yes.

"Some of the younger... Can I call them younger? Anyway, some of the younger Xianzhou citizens are very infatuated with the general. Seeing as I've been announced as his honory guest, they do often come and ask me various things to try and gain his favor. So yeah, anything at this point will work - so please!" the trailblazer hurriedly explained, clasping their hands together in a desperate attempt to get anything from the foxian amicassador leaning back with a quirked eyebrow.

"Ahh, love truly makes someone go blind doesn't it," she muses out loud, the trailblazers' eyebrow furrowing together in confusion over the foxian's lady choice of words, "... You're not entirerely wrong with that statement..."

"Do you want to know what his favorite flower is?" Tingyun asks, ignoring the confused question that had been uttered to her, snapping her fan open to hide the cheeky smile that spread across her lips - but anyone could still tell that her eyes were gleaming with mischief as the trailblazer nodded their head.

"He doesn't have one."

"Then why did you even-"

"But he likes ginkgo leaves."

The trailblazers' eyes widened in shock, and rightfully so because the very thing ginkgo leaves are associated with are after all...

"He had a lover once, and as far as I'm aware, his last moment with them while they still had their consciousness intact was surrounded by ginkgo leaves."

Jing Yuan whilst having forgotten almost every single moment with you, does unfortunately remember the exact details of the day that your descent into madness started. Because what he witnessed wasn't a futile struggle you had with yourself to not to destroy everything within your vicinity. Instead, he witnessed the slow process of your bright self becoming an empty shell, only capable of uttering a few words.

It's comical really, even when faced with a curse that struck everyone mad - he found out that it oddly fit your character to not go mad, but instead become the complete opposite of your gentle self. A hollow shell of the person he fell in love with all centuries ago.

Jing Yuan knew he had to end your suffering right then and there when you first started to show signs.

But he couldn't - This wasn't something that had to be immediately dealt with, his hand wasn't forced like it was back when he had to slay his own master down before she took more lives.

No, this was a normal afternoon on what would've been another normal, mundane day in both of your lives. But everything went wrong the moment Jing Yuan heard the breaking of glass, and how there was a lone gingko leaf inside the palm of your hand - a ginkgo leaf that you were staring wide-eyed at with a trembling hand.

You were too far from the veranda to have a ginkgo leaf in your hand.

General Jing Yuan would've ended your suffering the moment you turned around to lock eyes with him, your own face twisted into one of utter fear.

General Jing Yuan would've reported you the to Ten-Lords Commissions as the law had stated. But Jing Yuan couldn't - because Jing Yuan knew that the moment he did, he would never see you again.

So he decided for once he would be selfish. Jing Yuan rarely made choices lately that was based off of his own feelings, but his time with you was cut too harshly, so once again he chooses to be selfish. Even if that meant that it would prolong your suffering just a tiny bit more. "... We can figure something out," was the only thing he could muster up the courage to say with a shaking voice. You didn't say anything, your mouth wobbling a tiny bit and your breathing getting harsher by the second.

But still you indulged him - you always did. So with an equally wobbly smile, you only nodded your head slightly, "... Sure."

That wobbly smile and expression of utter fear was the last genuine expression that truly came from yourself.

The descent to becoming fully mara-struck is usually a fast process, the curse able to completely overtake someone's mind within the same day the symptoms appears - rendering the person completely vulnerable with the only alternative to either hand themselves in to the Ten-Lords or wait for the Ten-Lords to come to them personally.

Your usual easy-going smile was gone, in its stead was eyes that kept going in and out of focus. Almost as if you were desperately trying to keep yourself grounded - a battle you both knew would end with your defeat.

Jing Yuan didn't dare to venture outside of the house. One step out and every Cloud Knight would've been on you within seconds to subdue you. He had first initially resorted to just holding you within his arms for as long as he could, to be able to remember how you felt like after your death.

But with the minimal strength you had left, you had wobbled to the garden, every step taken only making you pant heavily. But even with heavy breaths of air leaving your lips, you had refused to take Jing Yuans hand or offer to even carry you out to the garden. When you had managed to reach the ginkgo tree standing tall at the center of the garden, Jing Yuan was sure you were going to collapse in front of it, taking a quick step to catch you.

But instead you had merely reached your hands up, the falling leaves fluttering gently down onto your palms. And while you were in indescriable pain for the last couple of hours - Jing Yuan could only see a serene expression when you looked up at the ginkgo leaves that were continously falling down.

"... They're beautiful... aren't they... Jing Yuan? It's almost a pity... that these beautiful... leaves are associated with our doom," you said softly. Jing Yuan could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you uttered his name.

You're obviously struggling to convey whatever thoughts you still had to him properly, taking a moment in between words to catch your breath, eyebrows furrowed slightly as you fought against the searing pain that was spreading through every nerve in your body.

There's a sudden gust of wind which causes the pile of leaves in your hands to flutter away from your grasp. Your hand stretches out slightly, almost in an attempt to reach out for them - stumbling a bit in your step. The limp causes Jing Yuan to take a quick step forward with his arms outstretched. Perhaps seeing him in your peripheral vision causes you to stop the futile attempt to catch the escaping leaves, arms going limp against your side as you turn to face him - your once blank expression turning into a somber smile instead.

Jing Yuan thinks that it's unfair how normal you look in front of him - almost as if you haven't been becme mara-struck. Like nothing has happened to you aside from the ginkgo leaves fluttering from your lips whenever you cough. The same cough that causes the general of Luofu to flinch every time - without fail.

And perhaps you can see his inner turmoil, the way he tries to make eye contact with you, but is unable to after a few seconds. The way his hands clench too hard into fist to the point droplets of blood fall down to the grass and stains it a deep red while he bites his own lips to not say a word - lest he says something that he will regret.

And you truly wish that you could tell him everything is okay like you usually do.

But for the first time since the day he lost his friends, you can't.

"... I'm sorry," you finally say, the apology making him whip his head up to you again. Mouth opening to say something to comfort you, to tell you that it's not your fault. But the words are unable to leave his mouth when he sees your arms slightly outstretched towards him with a small smile.

And he can't hold it in anymore.

It only takes him a few wide steps to reach you from his position before he cradles you within his arms. The grip is tight, unbearably tight to the point it hurts, but you don't complain. You're limp in his hold, and if this was any day he wouldn't comment, but the fact that you're not moving a single muscle terrifies Jing Yuan to the core. "... Please," he finally manages to whisper, the rustling of ginkgo leaves around you almost drowning out his quiet plea.

"Please don't make me do this again."

He doesn't ask if the tensing of your body is caused by the pain that's rapidly increasing or if it's caused by his silent confession. He can however feel the gentle hand that rests against the lower part of his back and your head resting against the side of his own. The reassurance you try to give him does nothing to help because he's aware that it probably brought you unmeasurable pain to try to move those limbs - instead the general buries his face closer to your neck and squeezes you tighter.

"... You won't." you whisper quietly.

It takes a moment for Jing Yuan to process the meaning behind those two words.

But it's a moment too late, because before he can get his phone out to usher a command, a few resounding knocks can be heard throughout the quiet mansion.

"General Jing Yuan. This is Xueyi of the Ten-Lords commission. I've gotten information that there's currently a mara-struck within these premises."

Jing Yuan feels his blood run cold, he pulls himself away from you to stare at you properly in disbelief.

You're still staring at him with the same somber expression, however he can tell there's a small pitiful smile grazing your lips, "I'm sorry," you whisper once again.

"I asked her... personally," you start, finally letting yourself rest now that the end is near, slumping down onto Jing Yuan's chest, your ear settling itself against his heart to hear his rapid heartbeats.

Jing Yuan loathes the fact that it's at this moment, with the Ten-Lords commission outside of your door and with him completely broken do you actually look at peace - like your battle against time has finally come to its conclusion.

And naturally, the one who lost is you.

"Half a day... with you. Then she would come and bring me there. You won't have to... do this again."

You're not able to see Jing Yuan's face - and Jing Yuan wouldn't want you to see how he looked like right now. The arms around you is trembling, his mind is racing - trying to come up with anything to give him a bit more time with you.

But for once, the general that had a plan for every situation had nothing in mind.

He's lost. And the prize of the loss this time is losing you forever.

"General, I apologize for the rudeness of what I'm about to do, but this is for both of your safety," Jing Yuan hear Xueyi mutter from outside of the door, before he hears the rattling of the door frame start to slide open.

"Wait- no," it's a quiet request that gets ignored as Xueyi strides in alone, the lack of company making Jing Yuan's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"... Their last request along with the request for my late arrival here was for the Cloud Knights to not see you like this. Naturally I won't tell anyone of what I've seen today."

Jing Yuan doesn't care about that, he could care less about his image right now, pulling you closer to him while his eyes are downcast - he makes no move to hand you over to the judge.

The puppet judge before him does not say anything - nor does she make a move. What she does however is wait, wait for the general before her that has been utterly crushed and broken by the person in his arms start to accept the harsh truth once again.

If he doesn't handle the mara-struck himself, someone else would - but the end result only serves to punish him in the end, the one left behind.

Xueyi hears a silent breath be let out by the general, her once closed eyes opening up to see the general pull slightly away from you, one hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. Your eyes have long since closed, and you're most likely not even conscious to hear what he's about to say.

"My dear... I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer before we can meet again," he whispers, bumping his forehead against your own gently, "I hope you won't fault me for that."

A long ginkgo leaf flutters right between the two of you, eventually settling down on your chest.

Jing Yuan sucks in one last deep breath, "I'm sorry I kept you here for so long - I'm sorry you had to be in pain for so long because of me," he leans in to slot his lips one last time over your own, whispering something that Xueyi can't hear before he rises up, your body limp in his arms.

"Thank you for your service Miss Xueyi, please see them off appropiately." Jing Yuan says, voice sounding eerily calm - almost like his usual self.

When he turns around to finally face her, the puppet's lifeless eyes seem to grow a bit in surprise. Before her is the general of Luofu, his usual easy-going smile present on his lips.

Like he wasn't carrying his mara-struck lover in his arms.

"As much as I would want to accompany you to see them off, I'm afraid I have some urgent matters to attend to," he informs, handing your body over to Xueyi - she doesn't comment on how his hands are still slightly trembling or how he immediately turned a bit to the side to ignore staring at her head-on.

Even though Xueyi doesn't want to ask, she still asks either way, "What are your plans from here on, general?"

Jing Yuan only gives her a close eyed smile, turning his gaze towards the large ginkgo tree with his hands behind his back. He gnaws a tiny bit at his lips, finally breathing out.

A couple of seconds passes by before he opens his mouth.

"I think I'll meditate a bit under this tree before heading back to the Seat. I can't leave Luofu without me for too long after all."

5 SCRAPPED WORKS AND I'M STILL NOT ACTUALLY THAT SATISFIED BUT IF I KEEP THIS PIECE LONGER IN THE WORKS THE MORE I'LL BUTCHER IT SO HAHA - THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO AFTER 3 MONTHS OF CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH FELLAS. I HOPE IT SQUEEZED YOUR HEART A TINY BIT NONETHELESS.

[saintvainglorious]

My First Fanbind! A Black Sails Fic Anthology Series

It took me a year (and a lot of anxious research) before I worked up the courage to bookbind fanfiction, and after months of on-again-off-again work, my first fanbind is finally done!

I knew that if I was going to bookbind fic, I had to bind something from the Black Sails fandom, aka the fandom and show that have had the biggest impact on my life. Y'all, I almost went into academia to study slavery in the 17th-18th century Caribbean because of this show - when folks say this show rewires your brain chemistry, they are NOT kidding. THEE show of all time. Happy 10th anniversary to Black Sails! This fandom is small but mighty. May we continue to get our hearts and souls blasted to smithereens by this show for many years to come.

Ao3 abounds with magnificent Black Sails oneshots, so I decided to put together an anthology of my favorite Silverflint fics under 20k, which I split into two volumes. Included are works by @justlikeeddie, @vowel-in-thug, @balloonstand, @annevbonny, @francisthegreat, @nysscientia, and more! Thank you, thank you all, you brilliant wonderful people, for gracing the Internet with such amazing writing. When I read the fics in these anthologies I want to fling myself into the sun.

More on the design and binding process below the cut!

Vol. 1 Page Count: 270 (12 fics) Vol. 2 Page Count: 248 (11 fics) Body Font: Sabon Next LT (10.5 pt) Title Font: Goudy Old Style Other Fonts: IM Fell English, pirates pw

The typeset (which I did in Word) took a while, mainly because I'd never done it before. Manually adjusting the hyphenation line-by-line was especially tedious. After making these books, I abandoned Word in favor of InDesign, in large part because InDesign gives you way finer control over your justification and hyphenation settings.

Regarding my actual design choices, I'm happy with how the ocean motif on the title page turned out (it's not the same pattern as my endpapers, but they're complimentary) and I'm very fond of my divider dingbats, which are little swords! Goudy Old Style was a fun title font to use, since it's the font that Black Sails uses as its logo. The stories in Vol. 1 are divided into parts based on what Silver WAS at that point in the show (cook, quartermaster, or king), and Vol. 2 is split up into comedies, histories (AUs set in the canon universe) and tragedies - befitting Black Sails' Shakespearean ~vibes~.

I stuck to a flatback binding, as I wasn't feeling quite ambitious enough to try rounding and/or backing. I've learned that I ~Anakin Skywalker voice~ hate sanding, enjoy folding/sewing, and don't LIKE edge trimming but enjoy the results enough to make it worth it.

The real adventure was decorating the cover, which remained bare for months. After agonizing over Illustrator and experimenting unsuccessfully with HTV and lokta paper embossing, I ultimately turned to using stencil vinyl to paint on the designs. There was a bit of seepage under some of the stencils, but I was able to scrape off the excess with my Cricut weeding tool without damaging the coated surface of the bookcloth (probably Arrestox Blue Ribbon from Hollander's). Even though it was very time-consuming, I'm so happy with the end result of the stenciled paint job and I intend to stick with stencils for my foreseeable future binds.

Are there things I would change? Sure. It was humid out when I printed, so the pages have got a wave. There’s an extra two pages in Vol 2. that I have no idea how I missed, and I got a line of glue in the middle of one of my Vol. 2 endpapers. I’m pretty sure I didn’t case in quite right, since my endpapers pull away from the case at the spine. I think the inner margins are a bit too big, and despite going line-by-line there’s still some wacky justification spacing in the typeset. But man, am I proud of these books! It is so satisfying to learn a new skill - MANY new skills, if we’re being honest - and to make something both beautiful and practical. If I’m still binding in two years or so, I can see myself redoing the typeset in InDesign, cutting out the existing text block, and reusing the cases. I’m also already planning for Vol. 3, which will be Silverflint Modern AUs.

Thanks for reading!

[particular-one]

hello!! how are you? i hope youre doing well!! im not sure if your requests are open, so feel free to delete this ask if your reqs are closed <33

soo my idea was a dan heng x gn!reader. angst with comfort/fluff? basically reader is a bit unsure and insecure of their relationship and thought of maybe that dan heng deserved a better partner, so they decided to distance themselves a little and slowly broke up with him.

i'll leave it up to you for the ending and dan heng's reaction! please take your time with this request and feel free to reject it if you dont feel comfortable with it!! also im unsure if u made smth similar to this so um yeah ansndjd HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

what if it doesn’t end well?

pairing. dan heng x gn! reader author's note. dunno if you read my mind or smth anon... but i had literally been thinking abt writing smth along these lines before you sent the ask, so i was so jawdropped seeing this in my inbox SJDJDKSJD sorry for the wait anon! i hope you liked this :>

you very well knew just how lucky you are to have someone like dan heng as your partner, your other half.

dan heng, who would, without fail, place a warm blanket or his own coat over you when he found you sprawled on the couches of the express. dan heng, who would wake you up to the smell of freshly cooked cosmic fried rice for your breakfast — which resulted to march and pom pom complaining where their shares are.

dan heng, who would give your head a pat, before bringing you into his arms for the tighest embrace whenever you looked even remotely down.

he was good. too good for you.

you had always imagined that your perfect partner would be someone like him, so your relationship was indeed, a dream come true. your thoughts should have ended already, there and then.

except, it had constantly wandered to the deep end— to the dreaded land of uncertainty and insecurity.

somehow, you saw how dan heng would barely be able to stifle his laughter when march would say something hilarious. you'd watch as how dan heng would look like he would be out of breath, but no doubt having way more fun when he was out adventuring with the trailblazer. even with welt, there was a certain change of demeanor that you didn’t see when he was around you.

bit by bit, your worries had gotten the better of you. could he have been merely settling for you? what if you weren't actually his dream partner, and you were just shackling him down?

"y/n?"

you had been too preoccupied with your own thoughts that march had been looking over at you worriedly, a can of bottled soda in her hand. your eyes had glanced over to dan heng, who had been equally staring at you, but his expression was inscrutable.

that was the hardest part with dan heng. you could never quite tell what he was thinking.

you cleared your throat and forced a smile. "yeah, i'm fine." though dan heng did not look all that convinced, march seemed rather satisfied with your reply and returned to rambling animatedly.

you actually felt bad that you had been zoning march out, but your worries had only multipled in magnitude as of late, when you had been mulling over your relationship for the past few days. your fingers were absentmindedly grazing over your cup again when you heard your name again.

"yeah, y/n! just how were you able to break down the cold exterior of dan heng, anyways?" the question had taken you by surprise, and at the corner of your eye, you could see dan heng had been looking at you with a careful expression — again, you still couldn't completely tell what he had been thinking.

"uh..." how did you, actually? the both of you had only been dating for a little over two months now, but you couldn't... remember. had it been you or dan heng that had approached the other for the possibility of a relationship?

"i... well, i guess dan heng had just allowed for it to happen, honestly." you weren't so sure of your answer, but your heart sank a little when you saw dan heng's expression change, his eyebrows raised.

though he was quick to conceal it, the fact that you had seen it only confirmed the worst of your nightmares. "oooooh, is that true, dan heng—?"

"sorry, i don't.. feel so good right now. can i excuse myself?” eyes were on you again, but before they could say anything to stop you, you bowed briefly and took your leave.

just as you were making your way to your room on the express, you could hear footsteps behind you. unmistakably, his footsteps. “y/n.”

“mm-hm?” you mumbled, not even turning back to face him. the last thing you wanted to see was dan heng’s inscrutable expression again. there was a pause, before he spoke again. “are you sure you’re okay?”

without missing a beat, you laughed, hoping it did not come out bitterly. “yeah. i am, don’t worry about me. you can go back to them.” you still didn’t want to meet his gaze, just as you heard him step towards you.

you had half expected that maybe, dan heng would wrap his arms around you in comfort, or that he’d declare those three words to you just to give you some semblance of security. you waited, just as you had his back on him.

silence, before you heard his footsteps once again, but they only grew fainter in sound.

so he chose to leave. that’s okay. it's okay.

you could hardly blink back your tears as you ran back into your room in a hurry before anyone on the express would ask you that same dreaded question again.

no. you weren’t okay.

━━━━━━━ ˖°˖ ☾☆☽ ˖°˖ ━━━━━━━

the following days involved a wild game of hide and seek from dan heng. which ... wasn't all that easy when you live in the same train as him. the longer it dragged on, the harder it got, but you just wanted to avoid seeing dan heng as much as possible.

you could feel dan heng's stare pierce your back each time you darted away or when you made up some excuse that you needed to be in the room that he wasn't in. the fact that you even offered your cleaning services to pom pom so you would busy yourself with thoughts that did not concern him.

"you sure nothing's going on, y/n—?" you nodded absentmindedly, just as himeko set down a heaping plate of food and a cup of her infamous coffee in front of you. "you know, typically you'd ask dan heng for breakfast..." you easily took a large gulp of the coffee in your mouth to avoid talking about that, instead shaking your head. you regretted that almost instantly, the bitterness of the coffee making you cough unprompted.

"n-nope! nothing's wrong."

it'll probably take more than that to convince himeko, who had leaned back against the couch with a raised brow just as march entered with a jovial smile and greeting with welt after her.

and dan heng. oh shit.

your utensils fell on the table with a clang, as you mumbled yet another excuse to get out there — you felt bad to see himeko's face fall when you just abandoned that good plate of breakfast like that, but you were much more concerned with your distancing mission.

"y/n, wait—" but you couldn't wait. you did not need him to cloud your thoughts any further. you pushed the door past where march and the others had entered from, as your pace quickened.

"y/n." no. don't. you didn't want to run, but you were growing desperate.

"y/n!" you felt a hand on your shoulder and you finally whirled back to meet his gaze for the first time in days. you had been anticipating to see that unreadable expression of his, but you were hit with a wave of surprise and a pang to the heart.

he was staring into your eyes, his eyes brimming in worry and concern. dan heng always had a piercing gaze, but even if this one still sent shivers down your spine, it had an odd way of enveloping your body with a sensitive warmth that only brought out the worst of your emotions out.

he still had that effect on you; he'll always have.

"y/n, what's wrong?" he kept his distance, save for the hand on your shoulder just as you cast your eyes downward. "you've been avoiding me since that night. i.."

"i think we should break up." you were almost grateful that you hadn't been looking at him when you finally blurted it out loud. only, you had regretted to look up and see his reaction.

dan heng had always been distant and unreadable; even when you were going out, you knew there were always things that he hid from you. yet, at that moment, you could have sworn all his walls broke down to unveil the pained soul underneath.

"is it something i did?" it was a simple question, but even the way dan heng said it quietly made your heart clench. "no, no, no. it's not. you've done nothing wrong."

"is it me, then?" even when you had withstood the harshest of battles, nothing quite like this had ripped your heart out before.

"no— dan heng, it's not you, or something you've done, or anything about you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me—"

"then why?" his last question come out choked in emotion, something you had not been prepared for to witness at all. it just made your heart break even more, just as you were unwillingly breaking his. you're shaking your head, just as you turned your back on him again, but his hand held onto you tightly, not letting go.

"y/n, i don't understand why—" "it's because you're too good for me!"

"you're dependable when i'm the opposite, you've always made sure that i would be warm with a blanket when i foolishly fall asleep outside of my room again. hell, you're one of the pillars of this express, and i ... i..." had you been screaming? you felt like you were already out of breath, your heart was starting to throb as if you had forgotten how to breathe, but everything just kept tumbling out. "i just- i just don't know what you see in me—."

you could hardly register what was going on when dan heng cupped your face before kissing you mid-sentence. you could feel even the heaviest of your emotions evaporate as you allowed his warmth to finally envelop you in a calming embrace, the very touch you had been undeniably craving for for the past few days.

dan heng slowly pulled away from you, just as he brushed a tear rolling down your cheek. "hey. i love you, okay? i love you, even if you're picky about the food i cook. even if you'd constantly forget my reminders about not staying out late, i still love you." you had nodded, just as you wrapped your arms around his chest tightly. dan heng wrapped his arm around your head and tucked you in his embrace.

"but what if things don't end well?" you murmured, just as dan heng pulled away to hold your face in his hands. "then i'll stave that off for as long as possible." he gave your forehead a soft kiss, before giving you a smile.

"and if you think you're only good for nothing, know that you'll always be everything to me."

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

[taking-a-cupcake]

fem!beast dazai x fem!reader idk

content warnings: overstim, orgasm denial, fingering idk, kissing, wlw ;-;

——

Your breath comes out in shaky gasps. Her long, messy dark brown hair falls in waves around her face, she was literally so so fine (guys im drooling)

You knew she was the port mafia boss—

Without a word, Dazai takes your hand and leads you into her bed. She pushes you down onto the soft sheets and pins your wrists above your head

With that, she begins to kiss and nibble down your neck, her fingers tracing lazy circles on your skin. You let out a moan as she sucks on a particularly sensitive spot, and she smirks against your skin. 'So responsive, aren't you?' she teases.

Dazai continues her exploration, leaving marks on your thighs and a few bite marks between your legs. Your body is already aching for release, but Dazai has other plans. She leans back and looks at you with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Dazai just leans in and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. Her hand slowly trails down your body, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. She reaches between your legs and starts to lightly stroke your clit, making you gasp and arch your back.

Just when you think you can't take it anymore, Dazai stops and pulls away, leaving you aching and desperate for more. “Please.” You beg, trying to buck your hips against her hand.

She just laughs and shakes her head. 'Not yet,' she says, her voice husky with desire. 'I want to hear you beg for it.'

And beg you do, as Dazai continues to tease and torment you with her hands and lips. She brings you to the brink of ecstasy and then stops, denying you release once again. But just when you think you can't take it anymore, she changes her tactics and starts to overstimulate you, her fingers moving faster and harder against your slick walls.

The pleasure is almost unbearable, and you can feel yourself on the edge of climax. 'Dazai,' you moan, your voice pleading for mercy.

But she only speeds up her movements, sending you over the edge into an orgasm. You cry out her name as waves of pleasure wash over you, your body trembling and shaking beneath her.

Dazai finally stops and looks at you with a satisfied smirk. 'You're so beautiful,' she says, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face. 'I could watch you all day.'

You're too weak and sated to reply, but you can't help but smile at her words. Dazai leans in and kisses you softly, her touch now gentle and loving. 'I hope you're ready for more, because I'm not done with you yet,' she whispers, a glint of mischief still in her eye.

And with that promise, Dazai continues to show you the true meaning of pleasure, leaving you gasping and moaning under her skilled touch. And though she may deny your orgasms, the end result is always worth it.

…

ermm…..

[biibini]

Could you possibly write something for modern mizu with a gf that bakes alot during the odd hours at night due to insomnia to past the time :^ due to this, mizu gets gifted a bunch of sweets and pastries

modern!mizu x baker!reader (request)

a/n: this is such a cute idea omg,,, personally im more of a cook over baker (my roomie bakes more than me) but i do like a good pastry. time to add my fav gif of mizu … isn’t she just so dreamy 😻

the first few times u stayed over, u were able to sleep in peace with mizu

surprisingly, ur insomnia didn’t keep u fully awake while ur gf was sleeping

feeling her warm arms wrap around ur body made u feel more secure as u started to slumber

u weren’t fully knocking out every night but it became easier to fall asleep and stay asleep for a good duration of the night

it felt so satisfying to finally sleep through most nights

as midterms became closer & closer, the quality of ur sleep began to decrease dramatically

most nights spent with mizu ended up into some

and then some nights became few

at first, u attempted to hide ur insomnia with using homework and projects as an excuse

initally, they weren’t excuses but u had played the card so much that it started to become one

It was a week and a half before midterms week, aka hell on earth. You and Mizu had just finished dinner, now relaxing on her bed. While she was busy on her phone, you were preparing to find the best way to fall asleep successfully. Staring into your laptop in front of you, you felt her get up from the bed.

She walked over to the bathroom and getting ready to go slumber. You on the other hand, are still mentally stuck on how well you will sleep tonight.

Having insomnia meant having many off days and nights. During high-school, it was more difficult to manage your sleep schedule due to the amount of extra-curricular activities and schoolwork you had to balance while growing up. You’ve found a few ways and simple tricks to fight against it.

One way that helped you calm down during high school was baking. A messy task, yes, but the end result was worth it. It had been a few years since it’s gotten this bad. Junior year was a while ago, and the thought of college during that time sent your stress levels through the roof.

Maybe bringing back baking wouldn’t be so bad…

“Hey baby?”

You snapped out of your empty stare and look up at Mizu.

“Yes?”

“Are you going to wash up soon? It’s past midnight and you have a 9 AM tomorrow.” she reminded. Mizu knew how grumpy you could be the next day if you stayed up too long.

“Yeah, um” you glance at your computer only to find a title slide on a history presentation, “I’ll sleep soon, I just want to finish my part of this project.”

Mizu nodded as she turned off every light except for the night next to you. You look up to her, a small smile growing on your face.

“M’kay,” she placed a hand on your cheek and planted a soft kiss on your forehead, “Just not too late.”

She moved to your lips, giving them a good night kiss.

“I’ll try.” You say as you reach for her face to share another good night kiss. You lower the brightness of your laptop as Mizu tucks herself in next to you.

An hour later, you end up finish your part of the presentation. You check your phone to let your group know about your completion. Putting it down, you read the time. 1:30 AM.

Fuck, you should really get some sleep for tomorrow’s lecture.

You slowly get out of bed, checking to make sure Mizu hasn’t waken up from your movement. All you hear is a turn to the other side away from you.

Whew.

You plug in your laptop quickly on the desk, making sure that all the lights in the apartment were closed. You gently tugged at the sheets, tucking yourself in as quietly as you could. As you started to close your eyes, you took a deep breath.

In. Out.

In. Out.

In. Out.

A grumble could be heard from Mizu, turning back towards you. You feel her hands try to find you, slowly grabbing what she could find. As she pulled you closer, you continued to relax your body.

Eyes closed, mind empty.

Yet, your mind does reach a thought. An anxious thought.

What if I wake up tired, like before?

You try to shake away the thought, enveloping yourself with Mizu’s presence. Forcing your eyes shut, you continue to take slow & deep breaths.

2:30 rolls in and you’re still stuck trying to fall asleep. Technically, you should be in dreamland right now instead of being awake. Your eyes are heavy but they not too heavy to completely close. Your body is still yet your mind keeps racing.

You trusted your old tricks would help you fall asleep. Hoping that they would work, your mind finally begins to clear up and rest.

as the days went by, it got progressively worse and worse

it went to the point where u were just always up, maybe spare an hour or two for a nap, and then the nightly attempt to fall asleep next to mizu

ur aware of what was happening yet ur mind wouldn’t stop running at full speed

u wish ur mind would just shut off

and if it wasn’t ur mind staying awake for once, it was ur body keeping u awake

it was so tiring to think ab peace night after night after night, hoping for a good nights sleep but to end up feeling drained and half awake once the sun rose

on nights where ur mind or body wouldn’t shut down, u ended up succumbing to ur old habits and took out the baking pan & sheets

u thought u could stay quiet like a few years before

on the other hand, mizu began to notice the slight changes in the house

whenever she would wake up for morning workouts, ur laptop would open and on ur lap

or the baking pan and whisks and mixing bowls would be dripping wet on the drying rack

once she found a new loaf of bread in the pantry, something was up

she figured u were just up cleaning late at night as a break from the late night homework grind

but with the random loaf, it didn’t quite fit the story she had in mind

one early morning, she heard a metal noise mid toilet and tiktok session in

(a/n: i’m guilty of doing that too sorry)

concerned, she went go check in the bedroom to find an empty bed

“Y/N?” she quietly called into the hallway.

God damnit.

You had accidentally banged the baking pan on the oven’s metal rack. You quickly slid the pan into the oven, hoping the croissants u had just prepped wouldn’t be seen. You peeked over your shoulder to see Mizu’s eyes half awake, trying to comprehend what she was seeing.

You quickly checked the time on the clock. No way it was already time for her workout.

5:30 AM.

“Morning, Mizu.” A weak smile spread on your face. You felt blood rushing to your cheeks, stemming from the embarrassment of getting caught in the act.

“I just went to the bathroom and heard a noise. What’s going on, Y/N?”

She looked down into the oven, spotting the croissants.

“Did you want a sweet treat that badly?” her voice questioning you and slightly concerned. She walked towards you and gently pressed your hand.

“No, it’s just that…”

“That?”

You took a deep breath as you glanced down at her hand grasping onto yours. You look up to her eyes, ready to tell the truth. Her blue eyes seemed more awake and ready to listen, almost glowing in the dark.

“I have insomnia.” You let the truth spill out. “It hasn’t been this bad since high school but coping with it has been a bit difficult these days. I’ve tried so many ways to shut my mind off but nothing’s working.”

“Aw, baby…”

“And the best way I managed it back when it was worse was baking. It helped me keep my mind off things and pass the time.” You took a step back to find your phone and put on a timer for 12 minutes.

“So here I am. Back to old habits.” You ended, sighing in relief. You weren’t sure of what Mizu’s reaction would be. A little part of you was frightened, anxiously waiting for her response.

You didn’t expect her next actions. She let go of your hand and headed toward the sink, calmly washing the bowls and other dishes that have collected over the night.

Stunned, you watched as she continued to wash up. You looked over to see her reaction only to find a calm face.

“Mizu?” you asked, still confused about her response.

She looked up, her hands still cleaning the mixing bowls you had used.

“Did you need help with anything else before I go to the gym? I know insomnia must be hard to cope with but if this is what helps you pass the time,” Mizu finishing the final bowl, placing it gently on the dishwasher rack. “I’d like to help out in any way I can.”

“No, I’m okay but thank you for cleaning up for me.” Coming up to her, you give her a kiss on the cheek. She smiles at you and nods.

“Anytime, hon.”

She takes a glance at the clock. 5:40 AM.

“I’m gonna get ready now. Let me know if you need anything or any ingredients.” She hurries into the bedroom, getting ready to change into gym clothes.

“Okayyy.” You say, checking your phone for the timer.

A thought comes to mind.

“Actually, there is one thing you can do.” You say, following her into the bedroom. Mizu, mid-tying her hair, paused and gave you her full attention. “You can be my little taste tester.”

She chuckled as she fixed her hair into a bun.

“I get first dibs? For lil ol’ me?”, she says playfully as she grabs one of her light zip-up jackets from the closet, completing her workout outfit.

You nod happily. “Mhm. You can even request a recipe or two.”

How enticing, Mizu thought.

if u were up during her workout days, she would always find a fresh batch of pastries sitting on the dining table

on days that her or ringo had classes, u would leave a little bag or container of pastries that they go bring to school

u would always leave a little love note with a little heart and a “To my Mizu”

mizu loved the little gifts, especially if they were at her request

one night, she asked for a peach cobbler pie

woke up the next morning to find a slice in a container and a sticky note atop reading “a request for my love ♥︎”

she placed the sticky note by her desk

and brought the slice to school with her

after her class she shared with akemi, they decided to get some late morning tea by the coffee shop nearby

mizu’s eyes widen after the first bite settled in

it was bomb

peaches were practically bursting in her mouth

she continued to eat, trying to contain the deliciousness of the pie

she would text u later ab how good it was

in full detail

many paragraphs

many positive critiques

and end with a thank you for ur baking ♥︎

[saetoshis]

FULL NELSON W MUZAN?? IT WILL NOT LEAVE MY MIND OMGOSKF hes so strong imagine like saying “i bet you cant hold me in the air while fucking me” AND HE TAKES IT AS A CHALLENGE. you’ve never been shut up so quickly in all of your life. he’s calling you a “greedy little slut” for saying that just so he’d fuck you until you’re begging him to stop but even then he wont, not until he’s satisfied now that you worked him up

OKAY IM GONE NOWCMOAMF

YOUR BRAIN??:);)2)($$3 FUCK MEEEE I WANNA MARRY IT.

[‹ MATURE CONTENT WARNINGS ›]

fem!reader, bratty!reader, dumbification, degradation, strength/size kink, he fucks you standing up, shoves his fingers in your mouth, rough sex, creampie, [mentions of multiple creampies]

“i bet you’re not strong enough to hold me up and fuck me… actually, i don’t know if i believe you’re even strong enough to hold me up at all.”

muzan’s eyebrow twitches as that infamous forehead vein bulges out to make an appearance, crimson gaze full of utter disbelief as your words boggle around in his head - what did you just say?

the smug look on your face says it all, and muzan can't possibly choke down his need to prove you wrong with every thrust until you're falling into dumbness on his cock. he could imagine ruining you in so many different ways right now, but the ending always results in his name tumbling out of your drooling mouth like a chant with load after load of his cum stuffed inside of you.

"hm, is that so?" muzan's low tone drips with condescendence, tantalizing lips just inches from yours as his brawny hand grips your jaw. he relishes in the meekness glimmering in your eyes, his grasp on your face forcing your neck to crane up at him. "didn't anyone ever teach you not to bite off more than you can chew?"

your brain was already so hazy and riddled with lust that you barely processed the way he tore your clothes off, his thick fingers digging into your ass as he lifts you up - your knees hooked over his arms.

“okay… so, you picked me up. big deal, but that still isn’t enough to prove me wro-“ your words stifle as his cock pushes inside you to bottom out, one hand holding you up as the other shoves two fingers in your mouth.

“you really don’t know when to stop running your mouth, do you?” muzan’s rasped tone is biting, his brawny grip bouncing you on his cock and driving jolts up your body. “still have something to say? still think i can’t? why don’t you just watch me, then?”

you’ve never been humbled so intensely in your life - every rough rock of his hips drives his cock into the hilt of your pussy with a brash smack, his fingers fully delved in your mouth as you whine and whimper around them.

“you’re nothing more than a greedy little slut, isn’t that right?” muzan sneers out, pearled fangs baring as he watches your eyes flutter and your drool slip down his knuckles. “being a brat isn’t in your favor. i thought you would’ve learned that by now, but i guess i was mistaken.”

your every murmur of ‘m-muzan! too big- too much’ is muffled and incomprehensible, falling on deaf ears as he bounces and grinds your hips and fucks your precious cunt however he pleases. you swear that each drive of his cock makes you see stars, brain foggy as your whole body tingles in euphoria.

“‘too big’, hm? should’ve thought of that before you mouthed off to me,” muzan leers out between heaving pants, brawny muscles flexing from every movement. with every second that his climax ticks closer, his ministrations only get rougher and more unrelenting. “but i guess you were just desperate, weren’t you? go on, admit it.”

“yes, yes, i’m jus’ desperate,” you mutter out onto his fingers, your whimpers and stifled breaths making it sound more like a drunken babble. your wet lashes flutter shut, the raw pleasure pervading through your body like poison as it completely takes over you.

“that’s right,” muzan’s ruts start to get sloppy as they shift into an inhumanly rapid pace, each wet smack and rough growl rattling in your thoughtless head as if it’s the only thing you’ve ever known. his climax twitches in his cock, each tight squeeze of your cunt practically begging for his cum. “slutty pussy wants all my cum inside, doesn’t it? say ‘yes, muzan’…”

“yes, muzan!” you muffle out, drool smothering his hand as he fucks into you with only one goal in mind - to fill you up again and again, just to watch you squirm and admit that you were, in fact, wrong.

“there you go, so obedient for me,” muzan mutters out condescendingly, a leering smirk on his face as his muscles shudder from the euphoria simmering in his body. with a chuckled grunt and his cock bottomed out in your pussy, ropes of white spill inside you to the hilt and drip down his shaft.

“you’ve learned your lesson now, didn’t you? but i don’t think i’m done teaching you yet.”

2022 MUZANS.

[secretivemessenger]

long time no see... 🫣

Sugarbaby!BtmZhongli x ProviderTop!MR

Now everybody and they mfing mama know zhongli broke asf 😒..

but the past few days he's been "working" with you he's begun to grow some affection. You specifically told him not to catch feelings and what does he do? catch fucking feelings. Good thing you don't know that...or maybe you do and you're just not saying anything? Maybe you're waiting for a chance to humiliate him? He wouldn't be mad if you did.

he pondered and pondered, going insane from the thought that you might reject him. Anytime he'd see you walking the streets of Liyue he'd immediately walk the other direction, just hoping you didn't see him. Too bad the feeling of desperation eventually came up to him and he was left touch starved, so he thought of the most reasonble solution.

pathetically ask for Mora because he totally did not spend it all on random shit so he could have his sweet moments with you.

TWS!

Spanking, Impact play, humiliation, begging, deep throat, gagging, ect.

I have a feeling a fangic like this had already been made but I much prefer to see you write it

Failed Contract

Bottom zhongli x top male reader

Rating: NSFW

warnings: Friends w benefits! Unrequited love! Mean reader! Deep throating! Face fucking! Spanking! Orgasm denial! Multiple orgasms! Fingering! Angst at the end?!

Author note: ahem- so uh… i know this took sooooo long to come out 😀 so long like more than three months. Im sorry 😭 but is just that I never had the motivation to do it but now i do (somehow).

Kinda hate this ngl-

The moment this all began, the both of you agreed on one thing thats considered as a part of the “terms and conditions”. And that was, don’t catch feelings. do and this is all over. - These were your very own words.

He thought it would got smoothly for him. Getting the money from you in exchange to you using his body however you like, then you’ll just continue to live on your life like it never even happened. And he never worried about “catching feelings” or such.

He took this a bit too lightly for his own good. After spending more time with you without even realizing it, he was head over heels for you.

And so he broke the only rule you had set for him. He knows if you found out this would all be over, but he doesn’t want that. He still wants you, he still wants to feel your hands on him. Even if he knows he shouldn’t be feeling this was, he still want his heart to continue beating for you. But he’s sure as hell you don’t feel the same. And he knows that it would only end badly if you were to find out.

So the only logical option is for him to distant himself. Because he knows how bad he is at holding himself back when near you.

Well spoilers: that did not work. It only resulted in him being more desperate then he ever was. It felt like torture away from you, and you didn’t approach him first and it made him even more desperate.

Till he said “Fuck it” and hurriedly went running looking for you. He just wants to be near you and held by you, even if it’s only you holding his legs up to give yourself better access inside him.

Once he found you he knew exactly whats the magic word that he had to say. “Got any mora to spare?”. Per your agreement, if he wanted money he had to satisfy you first.

Without a word you went back to your house with zhongli following behind like a little puppy. Upon reaching the house and closing the door he didn’t waste a singular second and sat down on his knees mouth wide open waiting for you to do however you please.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the obvious desperation in his eyes. Along side the adorable desperate eyes is an eager one, wanting to please and be pleased already.

Saliva dripped down his opened mouth, with his tongue sticking out. You always found the shape of his tongue so fascinating. it was paler than normal human tongue and much more longer. You can already imagine how it would feel like around you.

You pressed your index to the surface of his tongue. observing his reaction as you moved your fingers deeper, tracing his tongue as you made your way down his throat.

He looked so majestic. Slowly gagging at your fingers invading his mouth, almost at the verge of tears. You made his body twitch needly because of the way you looked down at him. Almost like he was some type of a dessert, and you were ready to eat him whole.

Soon the desperation turned to arousal which turned to greed. He wanted more of you rather than just fingers, even if he didn’t say it directly you can see it deep down his eyes. He wanted to be messed up, so why deny him?.

You wasted no time in undoing your pant, already half hard. The sight of your cock always made his mouth water and eyes shine with lust. Wanting you inside of him sooner rather than later.

Slowly guiding him to take you in his mouth. His tongue wrapped around your cock hungrily. His oh so warm mouth, it made you pant loudly. “Amazing as always” you said it with a hint of amusement in your tone of voice. You grunted while throwing your head back, it felt fucking incredible. His tongue working your cock so good, throat so tight around you “such a good boy, doing so good for me”.

Zhongli felt his whole body shiver and shake at you words, it brought him to tears how much of an effect you have on him.

Yes he’s a good boy only for you <3

He just wants to continue being good for you, he wants to be the source of your pleasure. If he can’t have your love, he’ll be enough with being able to make you cum because of him.

He continued teasing your tip with the back of his throat, while tracing the veins with his tongue. By time it became even harder to hold back, if this continued you’ll just burst completely. Even so you didn’t pull out instead you pushed his head impossibly more deeper, putting up a tight grip on his hair. It made him let out an adorable whimper as tears streamed down his face, it just left you in “aww”.

As you fucked his throat like a little toy you noticed his body reacting to your thrusts. His body arched so beautifully all of a sudden. Soon your confused sound turned to hysterical laughter. Looking down you can see a large spot on his pants.

He just came inside his pants. Why? Just because you acted a bit roughly with him. How funny for none other than the geo archon to cum all over himself like a virgin.

“If i knew fucking your throat is all it takes to make you like this I would’ve done this sooner”. Soon your laughter came down to a stop. “But i don’t remember giving you the permission to cum”.

Zhongli’s embarrassment disappeared once he heard your words. Grabbing his hair and roughly pulling him away from your cock made him whine in pain. “You better Handle the consequences of your own actions, Morax”

You almost ripped his clothes apart from how rough you handled him. It made him gasp loud in surprise. Stripping him naked, you harshly pushed his head against the wooden door. Looking at his quivering body turned you on even more. His thighs covered in his own fluid from a while ago.

His ass too clear to your liking. You raised your hands just to bring it back again on his ass, his body jolted in surprise. he let out a choked out cry as your hand’s smacked his ass again and again, until you felt satisfied enough. The clear skin now had obvious handprints on it. His face couldn’t look more fucked up than it is now.

Swallowing his moans. He looked back at you with beginning eyes as he huffed out in between hiccups “please, do it already”. Spanking was a good punishment, but you still wanted to bully him a bit more.

“Do what? You know I can’t read minds” you said with a wide mischievous smile on your face. It would usually make him so embarrassed, but now he was so desperate to have you inside of him that he lost all the self dignity that he had. He does not care anymore about how shameful it is to beg, he just wants you so so bad.

“Please, i want you inside of me” he cried out “please pleaseplease, pleasseee”. You wanted to laugh at his pathetic pleadings. But the way your cock twitched at the sight. It felt impossible to hold back anymore. Yet you still somehow did it.

Due to avoiding you for quite sometime means thats his hole is absolutely not stretched enough to handle you yet. And You weren’t ‘that’ mean to just ram inside of him without preparations.

So you spat on his hole before using your fingers to spread it all around his rim. A mixture of ‘please’ and whines of your name escaped his mouth.

A loud yelp was what you received when your fingers went past his rim. Determined to stretch him well enough that you can fuck him for continuous hours without stopping.

One finger became two, two fingers became three which soon turned to four. Four fingers stuffing him full. He would’ve came so many times if it wasn’t for your other hand squeezing his tip. Denying any droplet of cum to escape. Which left zhongli a breathless crying mess. Until you deemed him ready.

You didn’t have much energy to tease him or hold back anymore, so you took your chance and rammed your cock all the way hitting his prostate first try.

With that singular thrust he came all over himself, painting the brown door white “Hah, you came just because i put it in? Thats pathetic of you morax” you teased him which resulted in his face becoming full of shame as it dusted dark pink. But it didn’t last long till you started railing him hard again.

You could swear everyone is hearing you two right now from how loud zhongli was being. Moaning out like a needy slut. Screaming your name so loud you actually suspect he’s doing it to show off how much of a whore he is for you.

Going in and out at a fast pace, hitting his prostate with every thrust you make made it all more pleasurable. And from the overstimulation he went through when you denied him his orgasm multiple times made him extra sensitive. And it didn’t take him long for him to cum all over himself again and again, till he can no longer cum anymore.

Chasing your own orgasm. You wrapped your hands around his tummy going in slow and deep, just to feel every part of his warm hole around you.

You both were in such intimate position that it almost made him forget that your weren’t actually together. You were connected together but it still wasn’t what he wanted.

“You like me don’t you” a confused ‘huh’ was let out by zhongli. He looked back at you confused, then that confusion turned to a terrified expression. You never stopped your movements, still fucking into him.

He couldn’t think of a word to say as you kept your steady motion. Before you grunted and pulled out. Jerking yourself off just to cum with a loud sigh. Painting both his back and ass with your cum.

Once you were done his leg’s finally gave up on him and he fell down to the floor. He didn’t know what to say so you talked instead of him.

“As the god of contacts, to break one of the rules of the contract must be a huge sin, eh” silence was what you received so you continued “as per contract, since the only rule was broken. The contract is cancelled.”

“Take this last session as a parting gift” you said as you turned to leave before remembering “oh and have your portion” you said as you threw a bag filled with mora his way. “Never see me again” was all you said before leaving zhongli who’s seated down on the floor being as speechless as a rock.

He was just dumbfounded that he got thrown away like that, thrown away like nothing but a cheap expired toy.

“This was all just a big mistake”

🏷️: @gaybitchfx @vyloy

[flwersgarden]

do you think you could maybe write for Yandere James Patrick March ? 🫣

note: U ARE SO REAL FOR THIS ONE #YAS OF COURSE IM GONNA WRITE FOR MY BAE

“ darling? ”

that voice. it makes you roll your eyes.

can you die again? sometimes you feel like you're getting suffocated whenever you even think about him.

“ oh! there you are, my sweet bee. ”

you grimace before quickly turning around, changing your expression to a smiley face.

“ james. ” you say with a small bow before extending your hand to his lips.

he quickly understands the motion and crouches in front of you, taking your hand delicately in his before kissing each one of your knuckles with soft kisses. in the third kiss you suddenly rip your hand out of his hold, james just shudders in excitement before standing up.

“ you are a goddess, my darling. ”

you were used to his... antics, been dead for a hundred years and half of them were spent by him pestering your time. claiming to be absolutely in love with you.

“ i know, james dearest. ” you turn around, grabbing a bottle of alcohol, pouring it into a fancy glass. “ what do you want. ” you harshly say, downing the whole glass in one go.

james raised his eyebrows a bit, still smiling, before screaming an, “ of course! ”, shaking his head while you grit your teeth.

“ i'm going to throw a party and i would like for you to be my guest. ”

you turn around, the glass forgotten as you slammed it into the small table. “ a party? for what? ”

you were used to james' weird impulses of showing to everyone just how pretentious he could be but the mention of a party just made you confused.

“ yes! exactly! ” he exclaims with his hands raised. “ why should anyone have a purpose to do a party, hm? ” he trails as he walks from side to side, not leaving your room just yet.

you roll your eyes for the second time. “ stop talking. ” you puff out as you sat in a chair, james immediately shutting his mouth.

one thing you did like about him is how well he takes orders.

“ i get it. i'll go to your... whatever. ” you trail off a bit before finishing with the swish of your hand but before your hand could go to your lap again, james catches it with a much bigger smile on his face.

uh-oh.

you fucked up.

“ my dearest beloved! ” he squeals like a teenager being told yes to prom, his knees hitting the floor with a grimacing sound. “ you won't regret it- i swear it on the moon and stars! ” he starts a trail of kisses from your hand to your shoulder and before he could reach your lips, your other hand pushes him.

“ then don't waste the chance. ” you stand up, leaving james sitting on the floor with the biggest smile on his face.

️️ ️️️️️️️️️

next time you see him, you are called by liz to be on the dining room by eight.

you get yourself to look even more beautiful than ever and when you're satisfied with your results, you go down the stairs.

when you reach the end of them, though, you notice the hotel is too... quiet.

very quiet.

you frown as you look around, perhaps everyone's pranking you and are hidden... perhaps-.

“ y/n. ”

liz's voice startles you, turning around quickly to where she stood.

“ he's waiting. ”

you take the last step and walk to the dining room.

you don't know why did you expect everyone to be there, deadly silent. but the only thing that welcomes you is james standing in front of the table, opening his arms when he sees you; his eyes even lightning up.

“ bumblebee! ”

you give a tight smile. “ where's everyone? ” you ask, clearly ignoring james' attempt of hugging you.

he gets the idea and his arms stand by each side of his body again. “ here! ”

you incredulously look around, scoffing at the sight. “ i just see two. ”

he laughs while nodding, opening his arms again; this time to state a fact. “ a party of two! ”

oh, you could rip him to shreds.

if he wasn't already dead, his head would be hanging on the ceiling with half of his body missing.

instead of killing him, you just walk to the chair sitting on the end of the table, james jogging to catch up and giving you a seat, like the true gentleman he is. he chuckles as you sit before walking to his own seat, clearing his throat.

“ dearest, i hope you know. ” he seems to want to blush, looking at the empty plate in a way to avoid your piercing gaze. “ that i love you so much. ”

“ clearly. i am aware. ”

“ splendid! ” he claps, his elbows resting on the table. “ then you understand how people like me show their love? ”

you nod, clearly not interested in anything that came out of your plan. you were still planning his... second death?

“ perfect. ” he slightly raises his head as the doors of the kitchen opens behind him.

two people reach each other, one serving you wine and the other one serving him champagne. james quickly dismisses them while his eyes still saw you as if he was trying to memorize every single detail in your pretty face.

you drink a bit of your wine.

“ ah, the food! ” he chuckles, finally letting you breathe as he looks at the silver plates that were reaching the both of you.

you expect to find one of those expensive meals james brags about.

but the moment both waiters raise what covered the food, your breath hitches.

there it was. your closest friend's head, with theirs mouth open and eyes wide.

you befriended them when they asked for a room in this ugly hotel, they found you an interesting person and you did too. you must admit now that you were feeling a slight crush.

it seemed like james found out longer before you did.

“ i don't like when you show other people attention. ” james suddenly says, your eyes traveling from the grotesque head to his face.

he swirls his glass before taking a sip of his drink.

“ you hate my affection yet you crave others? ” he asks you while his eyes went from the glass to yours. you tremble in your seat.

“ it seemed like you forgot, darling.. who's in charge of this hotel and therefore you. ” his tone is harsh, no longer the sweet enamored tone he always uses when he addresses you. “ you truly think i can't torture you now that you're dead? ”

you look down to his plate, it had a heart in it... still beating, it seemed.

“ oh, dear. ” he feigns pity. “ i will always find nee ways to torture my way into your heart. ” he ever but softly says, mocking you and the break of your heart.

a clap makes you jump as you looked at him.

a beat of silence.

“ oh, isn't this romantic? ” he says as he rests his chin in the palms of his hands, looking at you with those same crazy eyes, his whole demeanor changing from threating to lover boy. “ you look so adorable, i could kiss you. ”

you could kill him.

[sopebubbles]

Lone Wolf chapter 16 teaser

Chapter summary: getting closer with the pack means you'll have to learn to live with Kim Namjoon.

A/n: i applogize for taking so long and for this not being exactly what i want it to be. Honestly my health is making it really hard to write because im either in too much pain or have too little energy to write. But I don't want to put this story on haitus, so I'm going to try to modify my plans for this story to give you all a satisfying resolution before the end of the year. Thanks for sticking around and being so patient.

Chapter 16 coming Saturday October 28th!

Teaser below the cut

"Are you hurt?" Yoongi asked as Taehyung set you down at the edge of your nest. He shouldered the younger alpha out of the way to examine you. You were still too stunned to answer, but it didn't really matter; Yoongi was going to look over every available inch of you regardless. He gently tilted your face this way and that to make sure it was unscathed before he moved onto your arms, lifting and twisting each in turn to ensure your skin was unharmed. There was a small cut on your forearm and he frowned. It wasn't even from the incident that had unfolded moments before. It was from work earlier today, and the blood was already dry—you hadn't even felt it at the time.

"Jimin, go get the first aid kit from the bathroom," he instructed, holding your arms carefully.

Feeling Yoongi's steady hands on you helped to ground you and bring you back to your body, out of your shock and panic. You took in a deep breath and breathed out, "I'm okay."

Jimin shuffled back into the room carrying the first aid kit and handed it to Yoongi. The alpha plucked out an alcohol pad and ripped open the packet with his teeth, spitting out the torn piece.

"It's gonna sting," he whispered, but you didn't react as he swiped it over your skin. "It's dry." You looked down to the very minor wound he was tending to.

"That was from work. It's fine," you told him, but he didn't seem to hear you. He had already taken a bandage from the kit—neon pink—and gently but firmly pressed it over your cut. "Yoongi?" He looked up into your eyes and you could see his own were full of worry. He shrugged.

"It makes me feel better."

You cracked a genuine smile and it lifted some of the weight off his chest.

"Are you sure you're okay, sweet little?" Taehyung asked. His hands were still shaking from the course of adrenaline when he thought you were in danger.

You nodded. "I'm okay. I was just scared. I'm not hurt."

"You shouldn't be scared at home," he replied.

"Come sit with me," you said softly, patting the spot next to you. Your heart ached to see how distressed he was over you. Taehyung lowered his head and came to sit near you, not quite in your nest, but just outside of it. When he got close you realized something the rest of them hadn't. They'd been too worried about you to assess their own well-being.

"Tae, you're covered in beer."

He had been standing closest to where the bottle had hit the wall and, as a result, had gotten sprayed with the contents as well as some glass.

"You're bleeding," you added. "Yoongi, your patient is right here."

Your alpha smiled weakly at how brave you were trying to be. He could tell by the way you were still shaking that you weren't as calm as you pretended to be, but he would talk to you about it in a little while when things settled. For now he turned to Taehyung. Without a word, he began to clean the man's wound, and you held his hand while he winced through the burn on the alcohol. You pulled a neon pink bandage from the box beside you and handed it to Yoongi to apply.

"Now we match," you told him, and it brought a bright, boxy smile to Taehyung's face.

[actuallyimspiderman]

soothing the pain~

alrightyyy this is my very first story that i thought of while i was literally just watching atsv edits🧍🏾‍♀️ its abt the reader having a little bit of period pains:( and our lovely bf hobie wants to help soothe us just a lil🤏🏾🤭 hope you enjoy babes（╹◡╹）♡

warnings: fem readerxhobie, implication! of period sex, just some fluff and a little teeny weeny bit of smutty at the end

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it was a couple hours after you got your results for your final test for the week at uni and you were more excited to show hobie how great you did. althoughhh there was something kinda killin your vibe. " 'bieeeee, hurts s'much" you said while tugging on his arm so he could face you from the edge of your shared bed. "and wha exactly "hurts s'much" lovey?" he respond grabbing your hand that was tugging on him. you look at him and pout slightly, "well what do you thinkkk? i've been studying and working so hard all week that i've barely been able to use my heating pad, take any kind of pain killers, or buy an unhealthy amount of snacks." hobie smiles slightly down at you, "awww my poor babydoll" he says a little mockingly. you sit up straight, "i'm being serious, i was so excited to tell you how good i've been doing but this killing my mood fr." hobie pulls you into his lap, "i know i know, im sorry alrigh? wasn't makin fun of ya, just tryna raise your spirits a lil bit duck. i'm proud of ya, yk that righ?" you simply nod still holding your stomach in attempts to make it feel better...it wasnt doing any good. "alright lets see-" he grabs his phone keeping one hand on your back, " 'things to make cramps go away' hmm... we've got chocolat, exercise, heatin pad ofc, advil and ..." he stops before he can finish the list. "well? what's the last thing hobes?" you say trying to peek at his phone. he whips it away before you can see it. "anddd..." "anddddd...???", you question as he moves closer towards your ear whispering, "sex." you immediately place your hand on his shoulders and yank him back "h-huh?? sex...are you making that up hobie brown?" he shakes his head kissing one of your hands resting on him. "well...-" you rest him on his back "i can get chocolate from the store-" you end of each thing off the list with a kiss somewhere on him "i can go to the gym for exercise but do i really feel like it? no. (a kiss on his neck) my heating pad is in the closet, (a kiss on his ear), and the advil is in the bathroom (a kiss on his cheek)." you straddle hobie's hips, "but where in the world could i get the last thing from, hobie? got any references?~" hobie sits up and adjusts you on his lap, "yea i've got one love, and based on one of 'is...very consistent clients, he works pretty well babe" he says as his eyebrow is raised and has found a new home for his hands (on you ofc). you lean in close to him so that your noses are touching, "i'll be the judge of that one~" "yeah? then be sureee to give me 5 stars babe" he's already began to lift your shirt with one hand while unbuckling his belt with the other. "then be sureee to satisfy me~"

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hobie stays on my mind 24/7 i swear. i need him irllll😫. buttttt i hope you enjoyed!! feel free to give feedback so i can improveee, love ya!

[shesmore-shoebill]

since you mentioned an angel in neon blue as one of your faves…..your top 5 amangela fics perhaps? some honorary mentions too if there’s too many? 👀

Sorry for the delay on this, life got busy and then more busy instead of less busy and I wanted to give this ask its deserved amount of consideration.

anyway. Five is HARD. I will do my best. Order is not indicative of anything bc I've agonized long enough as it is. I've tagged folks + linked directly to their posts where I could find their associated tumblr post, and links to AO3 where I couldn't.

Also I cheated and made a separate list for NSFW ones. Partly because I know some people don't want to read NSFW. and to cheat a little on the 5 restriction.

As always, RPF with F as in fiction. From what I recall, none of these are attempting to speculate or make any actual statements about real people, they're all just works of fiction I like.

if anyone wants me to remove a link to their fic or a tag for any reason, let me know.

close my eyes (and fantasize) by @baflegacy

listen. I am a fucking sucker for well intentioned and realistic miscommunication that stems from care and then goes wrong. I love a thing where someone cares about someone and thats why they're worried and the worry also means they are a little mad and a little hurt bc fuck, i want to help you, why arent you talking to me about this, did i do something, crossed with the other person doing everything in their power to do the exact thing driving them up the wall, because they genuinely care so much about the other person that its skewing their judgement. People who care and people who fuck up. I'll eat it up every time, and this one is written in a way that feels so real. 👌👌👌👌

the devil is in the details by @skiespeaches

this is a newer fic and its still in progress atm and so theres a chance it gets bumped into NSFW territory 😅 but im really enjoying it!!! The dynamic between Amanda and Angela takes the competitive edge we can see in videos and makes it into something phenomenal. Its got such strong tension and pacing, and its also got. REALLY GOOD COMMUNICATION. People react realistically and have reasonable fears and doubts but everyone also talks about them and trusts each other and its just so satisfying to read as a result. And it STILL does the tension and the 👀👀👀👀👀 so well. Guess its kind of funny to put this and the prior recc right next to each other but I genuinely love both of these. Communication and humans are weird.

not strong enough by @moviemandy

i love a disaster angela fic as much as anyone but because I feel like that trope is established among smosh rpf, I love having that get subverted even more. More Amanda getting comforted!!! yeah!!!!!And the way the dynamic and emotions are written in this one is especially satisfying to me, they all feel very real, and sweet. :') Also, Im always a sucker for the trope where someone tries to deflect from their issues by taking care of someone else and then gets CALLED OUT FOR IT. also, double bonus, this fic can be read completely platonically. :]

a field of yellow flowers by @unknownteapot

gah this one has so many layers and elements to it, its such a damn delight to reread. the bittersweetness of it all really 👌👌👌👌. Grudging respect and admiration in an awful space, magnetism of people who both deeply want to love each other and really don't (but they do). The world feels very realized and that's so important bc the fic clearly sets up the interplay as like. The two of them and also the world they are in as a distinct three players in the story. This fic has so many emotions!!! gut punch of an end! you feel for both of them so deeply by the end.

i've been having revelations by @poppyfamily

slight cheating bc this is courtmangela but it should still count imo!!! It contains another classic trope of people who care about each other deeply and it being percieved by other people before they clock it themselves. Its something I like specifically as a writing trope and only executed in specific ways- caring deeply and being affectionate does not HAVE to mean you want to sleep with or are in love with someone, and IRL assumptions about that can be. Infuriating. But love how this fic does it. :) Also its funny and it feels very genuine and the voices all sound. right. I love fics with lots of cuts where so much is said in tiny details and tiny moments, it makes the world feel very fleshed out. Also, Courtmangela as a band is just a blessed concept.

NSFW fics:

lets make this bed get squeaky by baflegacy

This rewrote my goddamn brain chemistry actually. Like yes, this one is hot, but the parts that really hooked into my brain are not exclusively the spicy bits. Pining RPF Amanda is SO important to my brain, and that dynamic of an Amanda silently losing her mind and Angela also silently losing her mind but slightly more at peace about it, combined with their very genuine friendship keeping things fine and then. and THEN. well.

personal leisure by unknownteapot

hey this fic is hot as hell. Its extremely well written. But also besides the nsfw parts the banter and the sort of instant connection all feel very real and unforced and i love that the end of the fic feels so open ended but also so light and hopeful and sweet. choosing to believe they meet for coffee the next day and it all goes swimmingly.

like she wants to try me on by baflegacy

this fic is about amanda in the submissive and breedable outfit and angela. It accomplishes eveeything you could want from that. Its Very nsfw. its VERY good. Writing smut is difficult on multiple levels- keeping it logistically and emotionally sound while keeping it spicy. It does all three really well. also the aftercare moment is really sweet. :]

bonus: its the subject of this ask so i didnt include it but shout out to an angel in neon blue- the tension is INCREDIBLE and the way the ending recontextualizes everything and leaves you unsure who was really in control the whole time is like. really impressive. The characterization is SO strong and feels so true to the Sarah Christ we know and creates an equally strong Creekside Killer characterization to juxtapose it. 👌

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Ep. 15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived" Review

To say that I am happy is an understatement. I am beyond satisfied with the finale of TBB. For me, it was perfect and I cried several times. This was about a family. Of course, there are small things I would've liked to see more of, but that's more nitpicking. I watched the finale twice today and I am happy. I guess if I had to say anything, it's that I wanted more. I love these characters and I could spend hours with them.

From a more constructive criticism side (just to get it out of the way): I definitely think the writers needed more time overall with this show. There are corners that had to be cut and you can see it. The pacing is rushed at times. While I'm still happy with the final result, you can tell it really needed more time for character moments. I don't necessarily blame the writers; I blame Disney for not giving them more time. Jen and Brad are very capable of both action and character depth, but it's clear they didn't have the time for both.

On another note, the music and animation were phenomenal. The rain animation looked so real to me, especially when dripping off of the characters. Everything was stunning. And the music, like my gosh. The Kiners popped off here. Crosshair's theme and Omega's theme are two absolutely beautiful pieces of music and I really enjoyed hearing them throughout the episode. And my gosh, tension during the final stand against Hemlock was perfect. The music was incredible and I rewatch that sequence because of it (and other things).

Spoiler time; you know the drill 😎 This will be long, fair warning.

Crosshair's conversation with Wrecker and Hunter was truly heartbreaking. You can hear the guilt in his voice, especially when he admits he feels like he deserves to 'Plan 99' himself. To hear Crosshair admit that hurt. His past mistakes weigh heavily on him. However, I loved that Hunter stepped up and told him no. Family sticks together no matter what. It's a far cry from S1, where Hunter and Cross both left each other. But now, nothing will split their little family up. Crosshair's theme playing over that whole sequence had me in shambles.

The whole fight sequences with the operatives was also really well done. I can't imagine what would've happened if Hemlock managed to condition the boys. Omega got Cross out at the right time; if he'd stay'd there a few weeks longer, then Hemlock would've definitely adjusted the conditioning machine in time to fully break him. Luckily, Crosshair avoided that fate. Still, to know that he suffered in that machine for 5 months is heartbreaking. The operatives are true killing machines, devoid of life.

I can't believe I live in a world where Crosshair got Jaime Lannister'd. AND IM A HARDCORE JAIME STAN. This wasn't on my 2024 bingo card! I will say though, I can see why some people personally don't agree with it as a writing decision. Cutting off his had doesn't magically "fix" anything; it honestly will just add to his trauma. But at the same time, I love whump and there is symbolism of Crosshair being truly free. He is now just Crosshair and that's enough.

Omega really learned from the best, didn't she? Seeing her help the other kids and free the Zillo was epic. I got so many Ezra vibes from her as she slipped in and out of the vents of Tantiss. The faith and trust she has in her brothers is truly heartwarming. And it makes the epilogue feel even sweeter. Omega knows they raised her well and she can take care of herself because of that. She's grown so much since that first time seeing her on Kamino. It feels like looking in a mirror sometimes, at least for me. I see a lot of my life reflected in her, just like I do with Crosshair. It hits home.

The final standoff with Hemlock was definitely my favorite part outside the ending. I loved the music, the animation, and seeing Hunter and Crosshair work together. There is such trust between the brothers and Omega. Despite Crosshair's worries, there is no moment that Hunter doubts Crosshair's abilities. Hunter knows Cross will make it. He assures Cross that Omega also trusts her brother's abilities. And the hug after Hemlock died was so beautiful. I love that Omega hugged Crosshair first; he needed that.

Hemlock's demise was perfect. I kept joking that I just wanted him to fall off of Tantiss because it would be so pathetic. And guess what? He did fall off of Tantiss (after getting shot before hand).

Echo of course was awesome! Loved how he commented that he knew Omega was the one to release the Zillo. I also loved how he did get to fulfill his wish of freeing the clones and even lead them into battle against the operatives. The last domino still stands and I couldn't be happier. (Also glad that Emerie lived. She deserved it after realizing how messed up everything was).

Nala Se and Rampart were also handled well. Rampart never changed and I'm glad he didn't. Some people are just not nice, even after getting served humble juice. Meanwhile, I will cut Nala Se some slack. I will never forget Fives. However, she did save Omega so there's that. And she took out Rampart.

Overall, I'm just really glad that everyone made it out in the end. I would've been fine with a sacrifice, but the Batch was constantly being forcibly split apart, I'm glad that they now get a break and can be family. (Tech lives on in all their hearts). They will be ok and they know that. TBB was my comfort show and seeing that final shot of the Batch reminded me that I will be ok. Stuff happens, but somehow, things will work themselves out.

And the epilogue! I wish we got old man Crosshair and Wrecker (maybe one day we will), but it makes sense why it was only Hunter and Omega. He's her primary father figure and their relationship has been one of the driving forces of the show. For so long, Hunter has been very protective Omega, almost going too far at times. However, he learns to let her go and trusts that she will be ok. He is at peace knowing he, Wrecker, and Crosshair (and Tech + Echo) raised her well. It reminded me so much of my own experiences with my parents and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect epilogue. It also hit hard seeing Omega as an adult; she was so tiny in the beginning.

Anyways, that was a long review. I am overall thrilled with the final and I'm glad everything wrapped up neatly. I'm sure we will see Wolffe, Cody, and Rex in another project; their story isn't over. But Clone Force 99's is. They struggled so much and are now finally able to rest. The epilogue confirms that Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair got to grow old and watch their kid grow up. For me, there's such a beauty to that. In a galaxy that is riddled by war and darkness, there is hope for a better future. The Bad Batch started as a group of "defective" clones, but in the end, they became something so much more: a family. And in my eyes, that is the perfect ending.

[poomphuripan]

how do you feel about the changes from the original source in episode 2? personally i love how much more screentime women get compared to the novel—the brother-sister dynamic they added was such a nice touch and showing more of Ming’s family life early on really humanizes him. i also like that sol’s motivation for rejecting joe is different. it kind of got into gay-for-you terrority sometimes 😭 sorry for the ramble!

okay nonnie so my current verdict is I'M IN LOVE but i'm also wary.

before this series was even out, i had MULTIPLE conversations with different people on managing expectations for a better experience watching my stand-in because any novel reader would know it's NOT an easy novel to adapt considering its source material. you need a fine balance on how to make the scum ml as terrible as the story needs him to be for the emotional payoff to be as satisfying as it did in the novel, while not to make him so terrible that he's irredeemable in the audience's eye (which i'm sure not all novel readers felt yan ming xiu had redeemed himself yet at the end).

watching the first and only trailer, my fears heightened because it definitely has a lot of sweet ming and joe scenes than i expected it to -> the impression i had then was that 'oh no they're going to softening up yan ming xiu and make him less callous towards zhou xiang' -> i told myself alright it's an adaptation, i will be happy if they just get the major PLOT points (as you can see my expectations bar were on the floor because i didn't wanna get my hopes up, that's how much i liked professional body double)

but so far, i think i've been loving the changes in this adaptation because it feels liket the same story but slightly different characterization and pacing.

so first let's talk about yan ming xiu aka ming. as i mentioned my fear of him being softened, i think that fear has gradually dissipated while we ease into ep 2 because i think the series does a GOOD job of recharacterizing yan ming xiu to fit with up poompat.

so a bit of !!!!!novel spoilers warning but not really because im being very vague about it!!!!! but i always felt like yan ming xiu wasn't really well depicted in the novel since the novel is written from zhou xiang's perspective, yan ming xiu is so often to be looked through this rose colored lens of his to the point where i felt like ymx was a rather one dimensional pretty, arrogant, spoiled brat. reading the novel back then, i felt what a lot of average audience is currently asking from the series: SO WHAT DOES ZHOU XIANG SEE IN YAN MING XIU, is his dick that worth it?

but like you mentioned, the series does well in humanizing ming and i would argue that the series has answered the question above better than the novel as joe makes it explicitly clear why he likes ming so bad (bonus is getting ming to hear this as well). with series!ming, we get to see aspects of his family life, the people around him and his general background whereas it took the novel 2/3 of the way for them to start introducing ymx's family to us but not for a very good reason but rather for a cliche subplot which i dislike (that i need the thai adaptation to do something better with this one).

so rather than fearing the 'softening' up of ymx, i feel like this humanization treatment the series is giving ming is a better way of adapting novel!ymx because my stand-in doesn't shy away and unapologetically makes ming a terrible red flag...

... yet simultaneously gives the audience some clues as to why ming is a red flag the way he is and it's not a seemingly inherent callous nature like other 188 novel scum mls. don't get me wrong, he's still a scum ml nonetheless but if you look at ymx's inherent level of maliciousness, it's nowhere near other scum mls written by the same author. and i think what my stand-in does well. because it is making the point 'ming is a terribly mean person but it's the result of his jealousy, his inability to listen to his own feelings and stubbornness, rather than an intentional aim to emotionally deceive joe' across much better than the novel did with just two eps.

so far in terms of changes, i also like how the comedic elements are in here but they're not dominating the tone of this series and balances well out with the drama/angst going on. i guess this can also be credited to the actors/production team because they've always promoted my stand-in as a '120% sweet, 200% bitter romance DRAMA' series so i did not go in with the expectations of so much light hearted moments

it's not to say that there weren't comedic elements in the novel, as the infamous 'and they were both top' scene is an exact adaptation of their first meeting in the novel.

but being an adaptation, not to mention being a thai one nonetheless, my stand-in does well incorporating its way of doing humor into the original work seemlessly. joe's mood swings (affected by ming) were presented PERFECTLY through his three training session with his juniors. i feel like this is the kind of humor that could only be achieved through series/tv format as opposed to novel zhou xiang whose mood swings affected his acting work.

on my beloved sol aka novel lan xi rong, i actually really like that they made him a former stunt actor as well and us getting to see porsche tanathorn doing all this action sequence (yes go yyds, rig your actor some of that screentime). but i thought it was very similar though, the reason for rejecting joe and his realization that joe was the only kind hearted genuine guy he's ever met once he's actually 'been in the industry'. i sure hope they don't characterize sol like how they did novel!lan xi rong 'i'm only gay for you'. give this man his own LOVE INTEREST (i'm actually betting my whole wallet on a brand new yim/sol loveline. i see it happening. it would not be a thai bl without at least one other side bl couple).

all that being said, my only worry is that i feel like they've already adapted so much of the novel within 2 eps and thai bl adaptations have a tendency to diverge greatly from the original source material. so i have worries for the possible new subplots they might add into this series.

tldr: i love my stand-in so much right now as a novel reader but i hate how i can't figure out what they're going to add in future eps ಥ_ಥ