#AND he's going to see the banshees of inisherin with me and wants to do that soon

[korusalka]

.

[communistkenobi]

I don’t know how to describe the way banshees of inisherin is affecting me. It tells an extremely specific kind of story, the sudden realisation that you are now strangers with a person you love. Not because of a fight, or because of illness or death, but because you didn’t actually know them as well as you thought you did. Padraic says to Colm - “maybe you were always mean.”

And despite this estrangement, this person you love is still active in your life. Colm helps Padraic home after the cop punches him, and then leaves without a word, indifferent to Padraic crying. Colm apologises for the death of Penny, and the apology feels genuine, but he doesn’t offer anything else. He even thanks Padraic for caring for his dog. There is some hint of intimacy present, but it’s backed by nothing. The person you love cares for you still, but they’re a stranger, they feel alien. And the way that they hurt you throughout this process feels as grotesque and impossible to anticipate as Colm’s brutal self mutilation - which we then seen actively prevents him from playing music at the end of the movie, despite his stated reason for suddenly dropping Padraic is that he wants to focus on his music. There is a very particular kind of interpersonal violence here, one where someone, suddenly, behaves so irrationally, in a way that could never have possibly occurred to you to anticipate, that they become this void, this alien that you don’t know what to do with. Colm tells Padraic to leave him alone, and Padraic doesn’t listen, but Colm breaks that rule on multiple occasions as well. There’s no underlying rational pattern to his behaviour - he just becomes a stranger, still present in your life in some way while remaining alien.

And we see Padraic lose people in multiple ways - his sister leaves, his donkey dies. These are “straightforward” kinds of griefs. And at the end of the movie he is completely alone with Colm, where he comes to the conclusion that the only way to respond to Colm’s insane, self-destructive, horrific behaviour is to behave the same way, making a promise at the end of the film that the both of them will end up dead because of this, that they will kill each other.

And I remember while watching the movie, the entire time I was hoping for a reveal of some kind. That Colm would be losing his mind, or dying, or that there was some other larger conflict hidden beneath the surface, but it never comes. And I like that the movie refuses to ever rationalise or explain his behaviour, instead going to considerable lengths to demonstrate that there is no possible justified explanation you could give for why Colm would decide to start cutting his fingers off to spite Padraic for trying to talk to him, or even why you would suddenly one day tell your closest friend you don’t like them and don’t want them to ever talk to you again in the first place.

Suddenly, violently unknowing a person you love in this precise way is something I haven’t seen explored in a lot of other art before. It’s the exact kind of experience that makes it impossible to grieve or move on from, the kind of thing that drives you to light their house on fire because you don’t know what else to do

[sneakystorms]

Thoughts about the Banshees of Inisherin in no particular order because I'm insane and I spent at least a third of the screening with tears streaming down my face

Padraic starting out the film happy and one by one realising how few things he was relying on to stay that way, just the dreadful hit after hit as he loses his friend, his sister, his donkey and even the village idiot he couldn't get to leave him alone

Something which reminds me of the most painful moments of catcher in the rye or lord of the rings - having a protagonist who does not suffer stoically, does not repress his emotions until a breaking point, but laments and begs for help and reaches out again and again and is broken by the pain inflicted upon him and is not strong enough to survive through it

The most horrible sight to behold in our culture - a grown man crying

In general that whole scene. Padraic standing up to the shithole cop, getting assaulted, Colm wordlessly helping him up but refusing to comfort him once he broke down or stay with him past the crossing

Jenny being buried in padraic's blanket

The hooked stick.

The second confession scene containing both "kind of weird, but strictly speaking not a sin" and "you got me there"

"and what about the despair?" "It's back a bit" "but you're not going to do anything about it, are you?" "No, I'm not"

I wish I knew enough about Irish or English history to say something more about the civil war's significance to the story but I can at least say the faraway conflict gives an eerily absurd tone to Padraic and Colm's feud, like they are simultaneously squabbling over nothing and waging some great existential battle

Speaking of which I was absolutely astounded to see a genuine discussion about the meaning of life in like the first ten minutes of this film. Padraic represents my own belief that a life spent enjoying yourself and making others happy is well lived and valuable, while Colm is obsessed with being remembered and believes his life will only have been worthwhile if he does something remarkable, if he leaves something behind. I kind of wanted Padraic to ask him what it matters to him how someone will feel about him long after he's dead in the ground, but regardless this was a genuinely compelling and shockingly well laid out philosophical conflict

In general I'm stunned by how seamlessly and plainly the themes are interwoven with the story. It's hard to put into words exactly but it's some damn good scriptwriting

I called this movie a masterpiece of small scale tragedy on letterboxd and I fully stand by this. This microscopic in the grand scale of things drama - made to look even smaller by the fact that it's two grown men having it - is simultaneously shown very clearly to encompass padraic's entire world. The tiny island setting is used wonderfully to emphasise this

Speaking of which, I have a massive soft spot for stories where the location is a character unto itself, or in any case has a huge role to play. This is a perfect example of a story like that

And speaking of the tragedy genre, this is maybe the best example I have ever seen of comedy and tragedy/drama woven together completely seamlessly? I can't think of a single moment where the tone shift felt jarring or the mood felt inappropriate. One of the moments I remember most clearly as integrating humour with drama is when Siobhan sees the first finger and padraic's comically stunned reaction combines with her comically realistic one to create a genuine air of tragedy somehow. It's also a good example of the similarly seamless weaving together of naturalistic and stylised storytelling

Not only the horror of loving someone who hates you, but of having that person leverage your love for them in order to keep you away

In general, most heartbreaking film I think I've literally ever watched. 10/10 masterpiece probably will not watch again all the way through because it's too painful

[zozobruh]

Tag game to better know you

Iva, my dear, tysm for tagging me @b1uetrees <3

what book are you currently reading?

I finally got around to reading Dune! It's going really sloooow since I have been working and trying to write my thesis at the same time, but so far so good! (The 1st movie def didn't do justice to some things oops) 

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I haven't really been to the cinema this year. Objectively, I would say it was Banshees of Inisherin (which I saw with Iva ofc hehe). In terms of the experience of live screening it def was The Rocky Horror Picture Show! It was so fun, I loved people singing and making comments to the plot, epic

what do you usually wear?

Most days of the year you'll see me in mom jeans and a shirt tucked in them or a sweater over them for colder periods of the year. Recently I bought high-waisted wide-leg black jeans and I AM IN LOVE. For shoes I prefer the vans sneakers and dr. martens boots.

how tall are you

157 cm (5'2)

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Taurus. For celebrities ik that I share my bday with Pierce Brosnan, Megan Fox and Thomas Brodie-Sangster lol

do you go by your name or a nickname?

I go by my name (Klara). The only person that actually calls me Zozo is my boyfriend haha

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Def not, but I still think child me would be pretty impressed with what we achieved and would probably think the adult me is cool af haha

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one?

Yes, going strong for almost 4 and a half years. I love my bf and I wouldn't trade what we have for the world. MUST protect <3

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

Honest answer is that I think I'm average at everything lmao. I guess I'm good at planning, organizing and respecting deadlines. I'm bad at maths and quick thinking haha

dogs or cats?

I always say both, but if I'm put in a spot and have to choose, I'll say cats. I feel like kitties are just closer to my personality and I like their dynamic.

if  you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite  picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this  year?

I have been writing some rather emo poetry since highschool (I'm okay), so earlier in April, I wrote a little poem I liked:

Daffodil The reflection of water on the wall Mercilessly moving The time is taking its toll The tall glass vase on the table Mercilessly staying still The time is writing its fable As it slowly comes to kill A beautiful yellow daffodil

Recently, I got back into writing fanfiction bc of watching KP, here's my fave line from my fic (ofc titled after MCR) The world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me:

Kinn sits up and studies the night in Bangkok. The bright yellow lights of the buildings are reflected in the darkness of the river. The Theerapanakul headquarters are amongst the brightest shining buildings, shaping the skyline of the city.  Sometimes the building feels like his home, swarming with memories of his brothers and him playing, of his mother reading them stories and preparing them for bed. Growing up made it feel like a prison in which he exists, simply fulfilling his destiny.

what is something that you’d like to create content for?

Before I got into KP brainrot, I really wanted to write for Beyond Evil, but never got to it. But now, I do have a pretty well-developed idea for a BE fic! Everything is on hold until I finish my thesis tho

A wild part of me also wants to stream The Sims4 let's play hahaah

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

My brain got a bit too tired to be obsessed in the purest sense of the word, but I'd say KP (and the actors who play them) still has a pretty strong chokehold on me.

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Honestly nothing. The things I was excited about were great, but the things I wasn't excited about were shit so lmao, as expected

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

Don't think I have one

are you religious?

I'm not, however, I'd still say I'm somewhat spiritual. I grew up catholic, but I realized it's just not for me. Since it's hard for me to believe there's nothing at all, so the closest to what I'd label myself as is agnostic.

what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

a finished thesis, so i have more time to relax and do my hobbies after work, one can dream ah

A no pressure tag for @tr1edandtrueblue if you feel like doing this :3

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

M have you watch saltburn? I don’t think i have anything with the actors(barry/Jacob) nor have i seen anything from the director. I have been seeing tiktok about the movie. I found Barry interesting if you have watched any movie with him wich one do you recommend. I just don’t want to go straight into saltburn.

I haven't seen it yet and I don't know when. I checked all the local movie theaters and it wasn't in the program and I have a feeling I'll have to wait until it gets online. Which sucks btw.

I know Jacob Elordi from Euphoria and I think he was in the Kissing Booth series which I heard he is trying really hard to distance himself from them. Which I understand, they're some teenager/silly, bad Netflix productions. And there's Priscilla as well (still haven't seen that either).

As to Barry, when I looked him up on imdb, I realized he was in a few films that I watched, but honestly, he didn't stuck in my head. He was in Dunkirk, The Killing of a Sacreed Deer, Chernobyl (all which I recommend, but perhaps not for his performance).

What I do remember him in was The Banshees of Inisherin in which he was really good, I think he even got nominated for an Oscar. But his role was more substantial as well, so that played a big part.

I'm interested in Saltburn. From the press rounds and statements, it sounds a bit crazy, but I've also read criticism that an upper class director perhaps is not best suited to make a commentary on class struggle by taking an "eat the rich" approach. And that is more style over substance. Oh well, that won't stop me, I want to see at least how good that style is, yk?

[shipcestuous]

I was SURE you had some kind of commentary post on The Banshees of Inisherin, so after watching it for the first time yesterday, I went looking for it to see what you thought about the relationship between the main character and his sister... but it seems I either imagined that post or confused The Banshees with another shippable movie set in Ireland!

Anyway, I really wanted to rec you the movie, in case you haven't seen it yet. It's very... I almost want to say "literary", because while I don't know if it's based on anything, to me watching it felt very like reading one of those novels written in a very literary style where the idiosyncrasies of a small, isolated community take on increasingly surreal, ironic, bittersweet, and eventually tragic tones... but always in a very "matter-of-fact" way, if you get what I mean, and with the quiet shadow of a civil war looming in the background. Very entertaining, if you like that sort of thing.

The story is set in 1923 and revolves around Pádraic, a nice, "salt of the earth" but insecure farmer, and his friend Colm, an ill-tempered aspiring musician and singer. The two meet every afternoon to drink and chat at the pub, until Colm suddenly decides Pádraic is too dull and boring and that it's all his idle chattering that's been keeping him from composing a song truly worth being remembered, and just as suddenly chooses to break off their friendship and never talk to Pádraic again. Pádraic can't wrap his head around this, and his stubborn and increasingly desperate attempts to get things to go back to the way they were will affect not just the both of them, but also many other people in their lives, changing Pádraic himself as a person and spiralling in a dramatic climax.

The only mention of canonical incest is between young and mentally fragile Dominic, another friend of Pádraic who is temporarily forced to rely on his hospitality, and his abusive father, who beats him and sexually harasses him. The whole thing is treated, again, in a very "small community" way: it's clearly not a good thing, but it's an open secret people aren't really supposed to say or do anything about, especially because Dominic's father is a cop. But as you can probably tell, talking about that relationship isn't the point of this ask.

See, Pádraic is generally liked by the people of Inisherin, but the only beings he seems to be actually close to are Dominic, Colm, his beloved donkey Jenny, and his sister Siobhán. Pádraic and Siobhán live together, with all the arguments that might be expected from two adult siblings sharing a house: could Pádraic just stop letting the animals inside, since it's Siobhán who has to clean up after them? Could Siobhán just warn Pádraic before she brings her weird friend home? The fact that they're very different people, with Pádraic being generally satisfied with his life as a farmer in Inisherin and Siobhán being the smart, bookish sister who doesn't really fit in, doesn't help.

However, the two of them genuinely love each other. Siobhán loves Pádraic for his kind nature, and despite being aware that he is indeed kind of dull, she initially attempts to defend him against Colm, whom she tries to talk into being his friend again. Pádraic loves Siobhán for her intelligence as well as her goodness and, even while trying to get her to be more sociable, he can't really imagine anyone genuinely not liking her.

When Siobhán finally has enough, both of her suffocating, monotonous life in Inisherin (where people do in fact consider her weird and unlikable) and of Pádraic increasingly dramatic and deranged feud with Colm, she accepts a job in the mainland despite being warned by others (and knowing herself) that Pádraic will be devastated by her leaving. Which he very much is! But he doesn't stop her. When she has settled into her new house and job, she writes him a letter, telling him about her new experiences but also asking him to move in with her, leaving his animals in Dominic's care and leaving the feud and everything else beyond.

Unfortunately, by that point something terrible has happened... so Pádraic sends back a letter with one harsh truth and a bunch of reassuring lies to make her think little else has changed and that he's okay, then goes right back to what his life has become, with all its bitterness, loneliness, and hatred. You've got to wonder if he will ever tell her what really happened...

One interesting thing is that Pádraic has no love interest, while Dominic is in love with Siobhán and clumsily teases her as he tries to flirt with her, but deep down he knows he doesn't have any chances with her, and when he confesses his feelings, she confirms right away that she could never love him that way.

Hi Anon!

You were not wrong. I did make a post about The Banshees of Inisherin, which can be found here. With some additional discussion in the tag here. I am so sorry that it was difficult (impossible) to find! In related news, I am going to remove the search bar from my sidebar because, for whatever reason, it doesn't work anymore.

For future reference for everyone, I list everything on this page (referred to as the relationships or ships index in sidebars and link lists and things like that, but it only gets updated every few weeks), and googling shipcestuous + the title of what you're looking for usually (not always) works pretty well.

Now that so many people favor mobile and tumblr's default is to present blogs in a dashboard-style, a lot of the sidebar links are almost obsolete and it complicates navigation things.

Anyway, I'm glad you took the time to describe the movie because it was such a beautiful description and you went into detail on things that I didn't or described things a different way so that's so valuable to have on the blog. I'm honestly giddy to have another Padraic/Siobhan shipper on board because I really love these two.

I just want them both to be happy and be together. Is that so much to ask?

[vibrantlifeboringdeath]

Tag Game to Better Know You

tagged by the very lovely @zozobruh thank you SO much for thinking of me <3

What book are you currently reading?

it WAS Time is a Mother, the poetry collection by Ocean Vuong, but it's currently lost on the london subway :( next on the list though is Secret History, my friend got it for me for christmas and I really wanna start!!!

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I'm ngl I don't think I've been to the cinema yet this year!! But I'm very excited for Asteroid City (which I might get to see this week) and Barbie. I am becoming very unhinged about Barbie tbh-

I will say though, I REALLY wanna see Banshees of Inisherin that u mentioned in ur own post!!!

what do you usually wear?

monochrome (with the occaisional splash of red or blue), short skirt & long jacket (like the cake song), lots of jacket pins. I wore a dress on saturday that was a bit risky in terms of my dysphoria but i FUCKING LOVED IT ACTUALLY. I also adore my new barbie crop top-

how tall are you

5 foot 10-ish I think??

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

I'm an aires and I have the same birthday as Nathan Fillion, Mariah Carey, Christine Sydelko from Vine & apparently a bunch of tiktok stars I've never heard of lmao

do you go by your name or a nickname?

my name, Envy. A couple of people have tried V against my will, I hate it tbh

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

When I was a child I did not even know I was a girl lmao. I wanted to be a rockstar and I *am* in a band though, so????

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one?

oh boy lmao (I'm single and mostly fine with it. I think I need to figure myself out a bit before I think too much about this one)

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

I am good at playing guitar. Not great, competent. I lack the focus to really grind out the practice to break the barrier into being Really Really Good at something. So I guess I'm bad at learning??? But my actual answer to that is I'm bad at picking up on social queues/figuring out where I stand with people

dogs or cats?

I love them both, I love going to someone's house and they have a dog, but I'd personally rather live with a cat

if  you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite  picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this  year?

A lot of what I've written this year are song lyrics that are NOT ready for anyone else's eyes lmao. You can have this little snippet from an Our Flag Means Death fic I'm working on though:

The dull Toronto sky barely seemed real as Ed stared gloomily out of his studio apartment window. The whole city felt fleeting, a hastily-painted backdrop to an imitation of life that looked as if it could start peeling away at any moment. He remembered coming here with his mother as a teenager, resenting the city’s skyscrapers for blocking his view of home, all the friends he had to leave behind. It was childish to feel that way again, Ed thought, but he also knew he couldn’t help it. Stede made him happier than he’d ever thought possible, and everything that came between them was cruel in its indifference. They hadn’t arranged when to see each other again – that was normal, Ed needed to know his schedule before he could commit, and he normally called from a payphone once he had something to offer. But the wait until then didn’t make it any easier.

what is something that you’d like to create content for?

I want to make a video game lmao. I started designing a top-down shooter a while ago to see how it felt and I. It activated all the special interest neurons in my brain I want to make game mechanics and spend ages making little pixel art icons bc I will get v obsessive about the art style and- but that's not really what the question was lmao. Uh. I've only recently started getting into writing fanfic and stuff, I'm writing for Our Flag Means Death right now but I had some ideas in high school for Doctor Who fics that I might dust off at some point-

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

YuGiOh, our flag means death, whatever Ryan Gosling has going on right now

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

my year has NOT been going how i expected it to at all and some of it stings a bit, I won't lie, but that's unfair of me because things are really, really good when I get over myself and really think about it. I am happy, I'm just a little bit insane, but I'm leaving the place that is making my mental health tank in about a month so things are looking up!! and they were already good, I just!!!

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

I am good at So Few Things, I would not hide a talent, I am trying to seem like a good hire

are you religious?

No, but I think the sense of community and catharsis and connection to something so much bigger than myself I get when I see my favourite artists at a concert is close to the feeling I think a lot of people are chasing, and can feel, when explorign their faith. I would say I'm some kind of spiritual but I think that feeling just comes from Us, not because there's something Bigger out there

what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A reason to leave this island Right Now I'm moving up north to be with my friend in a month and I could NOT be more excited but this is going to be the longest month of my life lmao

going to tag @school-marm-charm if u fancy sharing!! No pressure though <3

[clockwork-fayz]

Macey’s Review of Best Picture Nominees 2023*

2022

*Now featuring Crying Factor! 

Women Talking: 10/10

Words cannot describe how I felt watching this movie. It takes place in the span of one day and is literally just women talking, yet it felt like the stakes were higher than any action movie that came out this year. It was my first watch of the season and it is a strong contender. I wish they could have brought August with them.  Crying Level: 3/5 though it was more like I was shell shocked. 

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once: 9.8/10

This movie made me sob. It made me laugh. It made me uncomfortable, but damnit if it didn’t have the best message out of all these movies. Did it top Women Talking for me? YOU CAN’T COMPARE THE TWO, WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT? The ONLY reason is is not getting a solid 10 is because of the butt plug scene and the hot dog fingers in the mouth. Crying Factor 5/5 I was not expecting to bawl my eyes out and want to change my life 

The Banshees of Inisherin: 7/10 

This movie aggravated me to no end at how bleak everything was. What did we learn from this movie? That if you are depressed, ruining someone else’s life isn’t going to make you feel better. That I want a hook on a stick. And if someone threatened to sever a finger every time I talked to them, I would go out of my way to talk to them every time I saw them. I’m not getting hurt, good luck doing things without fingers mate. Crying Factor: 3/5 Friendship breakups are harder than regular ones. And donkey deaths are harder than regular ones too. 

Tar: 4/10

It is important to remind people that I am dumb and some movies are just too psychological for me. Even the internet seems confused about what the purpose of this film was. I was so bored and I don’t trust Cate Blanchet ever. Even in Lord of the Rings. Crying Factor: 0/5 unless you count when I saw how long this movie was

Top Gun Maverick: 8/10 

Don’t be fooled, this is a sports movie. I know what Harry Styles meant now when said “it feels like a movie” cause this sure is a movie. It has drama, romance, great music, Miles Teller; Grade A casting right there, damn that was spot on for Goose’s son. I bet if you grew up watching Top Gun (unlike me) this was equivalent to me watching the Force Awakens in theaters. Is it Oscar worthy? No. But is it a good time? Yes. Crying Factor: 2/5, personally it didn’t hit for me but for others it might

Triangle of Sadness: 5/10

This is parasite all over again. You root for no one, everyone sucks, life sucks and the ending is of course open ended which sucks. Stupid film festival movies. The only character I somewhat liked was YaYa because I felt like she respected the grind. Minus points for making me sea sick, minus points for killing children, and minus a thousand because I could see the dead lady breathing. Crying Factor: So much death, yet you have no one to grieve. 

All Quiet on the Western Front: 7/10         

It’s nice of filmmakers to remind us at least once a year that war sucks. What does this movie have versus others? Daniel Bruhl, and outstanding debut performance by the lead actor, and cinematically amazing. But in a few years will I remember this movie or the greatest beer run ever? I think you know the answer. Crying Factor: 3/5 you don’t love the characters enough to mourn them.

Elvis: 8/10 

It took about twenty minutes to remember that this was a Baz Lurhmann film and I was not having drug induced hallucinations. Luckily it calmed down about halfway through. The ending though, with “Unchained Melody” and the real Elvis footage, that is how you end a biopic people! Crying Factor: 2/5 I really love “Unchained Melody”

The Fablemans 7/10 

#LET MICHELLE WILLAMS BE IN A HAPPY MARRIAGE #AND GET HER INTO THERAPY.  The beginning was just darling when he was a little guy and I kind of wish that the plot focused only on his filmmaking and not the rest of his messed up life. Crying Factor: 1/5, maybe if you can relate to little not Stephen, then you would get misty eyed, but I was just pissed as hell at the mother. 

Avatar Way of Water: 7/10 

You go through a lot of phases watching this movie. First you are unerved from the CGI. Then you get used to it and you are like okay this is a compelling story. Then you get unnerved because wtf the whales speak sign language? Then you accept that because this movie is literally whack, of course they speak sign language. Then the last 45 minutes you go back and forth between wow this is a good final battle to wait it’s still not over? But one things stay the same the whole 3 Hours: the feeling to scream JAKE YOU DUMBASS at your screen. Crying Factor: 4/5 That scream from Zoe Saldana tears you in two, even if it is coming from a computer generated alien

[peerbear]

Cinematography Class - Exercise 2 - Interior Mood Change

A Trip in a Trunk to Rio

After class last week I spoke with Eva about the project task for this week as we often do and she spoke about smaller spaces and how these are easier to to change and manipulate. This got me thinking and I decided to use a very small space and see what I oculd do with it, namely my grandpa’s old suitcase/trunk that he had when he was my age. As was common back then it has his initials on it, H. B. stands for Hermann Bank. At the moment I use the suitcase as my art box so it houses my paints, inks and mixed media for making art. So I took photos of the suitcase with the contents inside but then deicided to empty the box as I felt this would tell more of a story and look much more interesting. It also highlights how old the suitcase is and how these days its not used for its purpose and its owner is gone just like the contents that were once in it.

I thought about how I might change the mood of the box, starting off with an empty space that looks as I said quite old and moody, almost crumbling into earth. I then thought about the journey that the box has been on and the narrative that it tells now versus what it told in the past. My mother’s parents are German and Brazilian, and for me this is a big part of the trunk’s story. In World War II my grandpa was initially too young to fight in the war, but when he was called up to fight for Germany he and his best friend fled the country as they did not believe in the regime and didn’t want to fight for it. I asked my mother if he would have taken the suitcase with him, but she told me he fled by bike to Austria, so he didn’t have room or time to bring the suitcase with him, he used it for much larger (safer) trips. Sadly he was caught on the boarder to Austria and was forced to fight in the last couple months of WWII. However, this trunk has a much happier story. After the war my Grandpa joined his father’s gemstone company and enterprise for which he travelled all over the world to mine gems and to trade them.

For the concept of this project I imagined that he took this suitcase with him on a special trip to Rio (which is very likely, but not definite.) His father sent him there to get aquianted with one of his friends, and we are unsure if it was a set up, but the daughter of this friend was my grandma, who he met there and fell in love with. He then took her back with him to Germany where they started a family together, and that’s a wee part of where I come from. But I focused on and imagined what my grandpa might have taken with him on the way there, because I know how the journey back went. I packed the suitcase with clothes and books of Brazil as if I was him and then tried to create a dreamy magical world where the box with his clothes and belongings gets taken over by plants as he enters the Amazon rainforest surrounded by cloudlike waves (which are actually my duvets). I imagined him going there falling in love in a dream like world, which is so different to where he is from. The mood change I went for is from melancholic to dreamy and nostalgic.

I feel I took more of a production design approach to the project as the props are great, but the lighting and shots are not as diverse and strong as I hoped. I really struggled with lighting and covered the window above the case with a white sheet, this did help, however, I really struggled to control the lighting in the exact way that I wanted.

I really enjoyed coming up with the concept for this project, although I feel the photos have come out a little rushed. This is because I did not leave enough time on the weekend to do it, however, I really enjoyed doing this exercise and I think it has turned out pretty well.

Here are the photos again for more details:

Article from ASC:

Irish Drama The Banshees of Inisherin Explores a Fractured Friendship

In sound class the other week we looked at or rather listened to a section from this film from the point of view of sound recording and more specifically sound design, my other specialism. We established that a lot of the sound track of this film was music, but however a great deal of effort had gone into the sound recordings as the film was shot on a stormy Irish island called Inishmore - which is a sound person’s biggest nightmare but a cinematographer’s dream. It only felt right to look at something that would conflict with my inner creative brain and look at it from another angle.

To start off I’m going to say the obvious, the shots are BEAUTIFUL. This is not only thanks to cinematographer Ben Davis, but also the landscape. It is a key characteristic of the film and offers a clear but ‘muted’ base colour palette to the film. This is something that director Martin McDonaugh wanted to portray - the landscape’s beauty rather than its drearyness. Davis describes the landscape as meloncholic and almost claustorphobic, I can see the melancholy, but in terms of clausterphobia he might be refering to being trapped on an island, but I personally don’t feel that in his shots, I rather find them freeing.

For the project they used a limited crew of 75 people and gear as the location was so remote and inaccessible with larger vehicles.

The narrative of the film follows old friends falling out and as a dark comedy is meant to reflect the genre of a Western. From what I have seen in sound class and in the trailer I can see this genre coming to life in the wild irish landscape. I feel this is highlighted in many wide landscape shots.

Davis describes many of the shots as ‘threshold work’ which are shots through doors and windows. I feel through these he get the feeling of the conflict and shows how the character’s are literally on the threshold of their friendship.

They wanted a specific view that shows the remoteness and roughness of the landscape, but there were no old houses that looked over bays in the way that they wanted so they purpose built Pádraic’s house and the pub. Due to this they were able to install up to 30 Dedo lights so they could really control the lighting on set.

Davis also commented that for some of the costumes they drew inspiration from Post-Impressionist artists Rembrandt and Van Gogh’s colourful paintings. I really liked that they drew inspiration from artists that lived and created works so long ago, because it shows that you can be inspied by anything and anyone.

What really surprised me was that they used an Ari Alexa Mini with Signature prime lenses and filters, which is a camera that we have access to at university which was a reminder of how good the equipment is that we have access to, that it is really industry standard.

To end with I thought I’d mention how Davis said he wanted to shoot from “landscape to faces”, to show the weather on the characters faces. For me this quote reminds me of Agnes Varda and JR’s Faces Places documentary where they tour in his van and take photos of different people and paint/print them as murals onto walls and different surfaces in different places. In both projects I feel they achieve showing how people’s surroundings affect them and their way of life and vice versa. For me this ties in nicely again to my task of the week where I have tried to show a part of my grandpa’s story through a small space and I like that any space can reflect a person and their story.

[gretavanfleetposts]

Tag Game To Better Know You!

Send this to people you'd like to know better!

Thanks @samkooszka for tagging me. Love you, bitch 😚

What book are you currently reading?

Don't know how to read 🤷‍♀️

What do you usually wear?

Usually this bodycon dress I got from Aerie that I bought in three colors and a sweater overtop. That's my go-to at the moment. It's easy

How tall are you?

5'3 or 5'4. I had surgery for scoliosis as a middle schooler and grew 4 inches then settled back in an inch or so

What's your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

I’m a Taurus and I share a birthday with the queen herself, Aidy Bryant

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

I go by a nickname! Love it when people call me Em

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?

A little bit? Maybe? I wanted to be a writer when I was a kid and I do in fact do that now, although it isn't my career. I count it though

What is something you’re good as vs. something you’re bad at?

I’m good at math which is embarrassing but I did win an award for it in college lol and I'm bad at literally every sport I've ever played

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

It seems like a stupid one but probably "We won't start keeping score" near the end of Valence. I love Valence Josh and he's really all I want to write now

Dogs or cats?

Dogs I think but it's hard to choose

What's something you would like to create content for?

My retirement fund. Gotta set that baby up

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

This is so dumb but I recently watched The Banshees of Inisherin and now it's my comfort movie even though it makes me violently melancholy

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

I'm gonna go with last year but I was supposed to see another DIG show and then I got covid :(

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I can redecorate my living room in a manic episode all in one night

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

A glass of wine and tomorrow off

I'm tagging @shutupdevvie, @lvnterninthenight, and @gretasmokerising and also anyone else who wants to!

[cidnangarlond]

What were some of your fav films from last year, Jack? I haven't caught up on much of em yet so mine may just be the Weird Al biopic lol, but Glass Onion was fun too

See due to many reasons I wasn't able to go see really anything in theaters, if the movie had a theatrical release, so what I say here is based on opinions I've formed from various reviews, clips, posts, etc etc. That said, Glass Onion did seem to be a very good film, and the Weird Al "biopic" (I have it in quotes because making a movie about your life where every detail is completely wrong and is all fabricated on purpose is such an incredible move) I do very much need to see.

I did go and see The Batman in theaters which I enjoyed a lot and didn't even realize it was as long as it was. I did also see The Northman and enjoyed that too, but I do wish Mr. Skarsgard showed hog because it's only fair to have full-frontal male nudity if female actresses consistently do it. Barbarian I had a great time with because I'm familiar with the director-writer Zac Cregger's comedy work in Whitest Kids U' Know and it's great to see him transition into horror so smoothly.

Skinamarink personally is up there, people are of the opinion that it's a deeply polarizing movie and either you love it or hate it, and I loved it. I did also watch Banshees of Inisherin and didn't completely care for it or get the hype, I just wasn't crazy about it. Interesting story but I don't necessarily understand the amount of praise it gets, especially when people are praising Barry Keoghan for playing a man that is said to have some kind of mental slowness, or at least heavily implied, and people saying the scene between him and Kerry Condon where Dominic tries asking her out as she gently lets him down as "heartbreaking" like would it still be heartbreaking if he was just a guy and not "slow." It felt weird to see that opinion and people agree you know.

A lot of nominated and not nominated movies I still want to see when I have time, like X, Pearl, Everything Everywhere (desperately hoping it wins something major at the Oscars), Puss in Boots, Triangle of Sadness, Tár, Decision to Leave, another adaptation of All Quiet On The Western Front (but I still believe the 1930 adaptation will always be best regardless so I'm going into it biased here), Nope, RRR, Aftersun, The Menu, Babylon for shits and giggles.

I don't really care about The Whale because I'm not a fan of Darren Aronofsky - and people were saying The Whale felt exploitative, and it probably was because this is Aronofsky we're talking about what did you expect - likewise The Fablemans doesn't interest me I don't particularly care but I know Spielberg is going to get something because his name is attached to it aside from the fact it's a deeply personal movie but I'm just not interested. I'm not watching Top Gun: Maverick because I could not care less about it, Hollywood's nostalgia, Tom Cruise, and the insane amount of USAmerican military propaganda within it. The same goes for Avatar: The Way of Water because it's also shit and James Cameron's comments on Native Americans are deeply offensive and he should choke. I also don't care about Elvis but Hollywood loves a dead musician to make movies about

Unfortunately I do think Avatar, Top Gun, and Elvis will win a lot because The Academy is what it is, which is mostly rich, white, old nostalgia-loving people, which will be slowly but surely changing as the eldest members die off but it is what it is. I'd love Everything Everywhere to win a lot, I'd love to see Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan win, it'd be nice for Brendan Fraser to get an award but after what Hollywood did to him it would feel so disingenuous even if he did turn in what I heard to be an amazing performance. Jamie Lee Curtis is probably going to win Best Supporting Actress over Stephanie Hsu.

But these are just my thoughts and opinions and I would desperately love to be proven wrong dear god let the Academy prove me wrong. But after last year I am keeping my expectations so low. Take a shot for every joke or reference about "the slap" and you will be dead before the end of the night.

[mygreatadventurehasbegun]

It’s Oscar Night tonight!

I was able to catch up a bit on some of the nominated movies, but sadly didn’t get to check them all off the list (which is kind of ok, because I have no desire to see Avatar, Top Gun or Blonde).

Anyway...here’s my personal ranking of the Best Picture nominees, from best to worst (for me personally).

1. Everything Everywhere All at Once

2. Women Talking

3. All Quiet on the Western Front

4. The Fablemens

5. Tar

6. Elvis

7. Banshees of Inisherin

I really wanted to like Banshees, but honestly...I was so bored.  I may like it more if I watch it a second time, but it felt longer than it’s 1 hour 54 minute runtime. While I didn’t particularly like Elvis, the amount of spectacle at least kept me engaged, and I could be impressed by Austin Butler’s singing. 

For me, Women Talking is the most underrated movie of the year.  I really wish it had gotten more recognition...particularly in score, director and the acting categories...but it’s pretty much a lock to win Best Adapted Screenplay, and rightly so.

Best Supporting Actor

I think this is the only 100% lock in the acting categories tonight.  While Ke Huy Quan didn’t sweep (thanks BAFTA’s...seriously?), he’s been nominated and winning pretty much everything, so I can’t wait to hear his speech, because he’s probably going to make me cry.

Best Supporting Actress

This is probably the toughest one of the night...I honestly don’t know who is going to win.  *And I love that we have an honest-to-God race in three of these categories*  Angela Bassett won the Globe and Critic’s Choice, Kerry Condon won the BAFTA, and Jamie Lee Curtis won the SAG.  It’s really anyone’s guess at this point.  Angela Bassett is probably the least likely of the three, because she lost the momentum she had at the start of awards season.  Some people think Kerry Condon is going to win because of the BAFTA (it’s apparently a better predictor), but actors really like Jamie Lee Curtis and they do make up a large portion of voters.  What I would love to see happen (it’s not going to, but I’d love it), is for those three to split the votes and the award ends up going to Stephanie Hsu, who I believe gave the Best Supporting Actress performance this year...she’s who I would vote for.  Gold Derby is predicting Kerry Condon, but we’ll see...it’s funny, because if they had campaigned Michelle Williams in Supporting instead of Lead Actress, she’d be winning this year.

Best Actor

This is another tight race!  If you go on Gold Derby, you’ll see that Brendon Fraser is behind Austin Butler by about 70 votes (in terms of who is ranked first or second in likelihood to win) so I feel like it’s too close to call.  Austin Butler won the Golden Globe and the BAFTA, while Brendon Fraser won the Critic’s Choice and the SAG...it’s really anyone’s guess which way it’ll go...I wish I had been able to see The Whale before tonight so I could at least have an opinion on who I’d like to win, based on performance!  I kind of want Brendan Fraser to win...but Austin Butler did give a very strong performance, so it would definitely be a deserved win if he does.

Best Actress

Cate Blancett?  Michelle Yeoh?  Another tight race...though I do think the winds have shifted a bit in Michelle Yeoh’s favor (I HOPE BECAUSE I REALLY WANT HER TO WIN).  Did Cate Blanchett give the best performance of her career?  Probably...and in any other year, I’d want her to win her third Oscar...but Michelle Yeoh’s performance 100% deserves that award.  I am totally here for an EEAAO sweep.

We shall see how the night goes!!!

[voidcommascreamintothe]

My ex came crawling back a few days ago, asking for a second chance. This isn't the first time he's done this. Every few months or so, he dms me, sends a picture or a meme, likes my insta story.

And every time the conversation is the same: "Hi, I miss talking to you," he would say. I would skirt around his bid for attention, give him one word answers and we would leave it at that. Until a few days ago.

I asked him not to contact me again. "Don't write, don't reach out, don't tell me you are around," I pleaded, "It's painful. I don't wanna know."

"Not even tell you? Wouldn't you want to see me if I visit your country again?" He asked, sitting comfortably in a much better part of Europe than mine.

"No," I replied, "I wouldn't want to see you or meet up."

"I don't think I deserve that."

"And I didn't deserve to be ghosted in the middle of a vulnerable conversation all those months ago, but alas," I angrily typed out the words and hit send, the button blurry from unshed tears in my eyes.

We ended it, agreed on no contact, he came back and then ghosted me when I let it all out. I tried to keep our break up conversation civil and omitted some details about how I was feeling. We were long distance had seen each other only a few times. There were not to many strings attached, but for me they ran so deep sometimes it felt like they cut me in half. I realised I was the only one invested and I was the one to end things. He agreed but still misses me.

After I asked him why he did what he did, point blanc, he had to answer. His explanation was, "I felt like it was too much for me and I couldn't deal. I apologise."

And there was my answer.

The conversation was running smoothly, we were joking around right before this, and I was tempted. Oh, I was teetering on the verge of agreeing to meet up again and reconciling. But he told me he felt like my confession of just how deep my feelings were was too much for him. "I don't know what you've done to me woman, but I can't stop thinking about you. I still dream about us, I still hear your moans."

I reread the text a few times, uncertain of how to respond. I've never had this effect on someone, and with very little guilt I admit that it's a nice ego boost. He is saying all the right things in all of his other messages. He says, "If I come over to see you and say I'm ready to commit, it this between us happening?"

A year ago I would've been thrilled to whiteness this confession from him. What I wouldn't have given back then, to have him say this to me. So why does my stomach do somersaults? Why do my lungs and diaphragm feel like they are pinched together?

"I'm not sure," I replied, not knowing what else to say. "I have already moved on; it's been about two years."

"And I'm happy for you, but no other woman I've met compares to you." The three little dots went up and down a few times before his next text came through, "What do you say?"

"I'm exactly like other girls," I never considered this kind of sentiment to be the compliment men think it is. "You need to move on, my love. I have."

He changed the subject, and I was grateful. We talked about Saltburn, how he still hasn't gotten around to seeing Banshees of Inisherin, but the entire time my heart was racing.

I spent the next couple of hours spiralling. My brain cannibalised itself trying to digest this conversation. As I was staring at my ceiling that night, unable to sleep, I realised why I felt like my intestines had turned to snakes. Why I felt like there was an iron mask over my face.

I had moved on.

Too much time had passed, even though it was simultaneously still to soon for me to see him again. He was asking of me something I was willing to give a year and a half ago. He knew me then, the way I was back then. Going back to him meant going back to that version of me.

It meant going back to a dark, dark time in my life that will forever taint my experience with him. Not of his doing, he is a very kind man. But life is unfair. I had gone through hell and back, twice over. It changed me, it made me suffer and however unfair, it tainted an otherwise easy kind of love. He's right, he doesn't deserve our potential future being cut clean off because of what happened, especially since it had nothing to do with him. But I didn't deserve what happened to me either.

I bear no shame in admitting just how desperate I was to get out of that bottomless chasm.

I bear no shame and freely admit how I desperately clawed my way out, continuing long after my fingers bled. I got out, I climbed that mountain, and now I sit on the summit breathing fresh air.

My intestines no longer feel like serpentine creatures threatening to devour me from the inside. My breaths are even and no longer feel like I'm breathing the last of my oxygen in a coffin. I watch the sunsets with a smile on my face instead of dread creeping up like bile because a new day will come tomorrow.

He's a sweet man, but we wanted different things. I will not let him convince me to climb down from the very top of my mountain, even if it means sacrificing a potential future of blissful love.

I am no longer an understanding victim who acknowledges that it's unfair and tries to console him. I am a hardened, tested, cut-throat bitch. It's unfair but tough shit, such is life.

I look down to the root of the rocky mountain I climbed and I see the version of me that I will forever associate with that time period. I know what she need, she knows what she need, but now I'm the one strong enough to not compromise and to stay firm. No boundaries will be crossed, no one will beguile me (or her, for she is with in me) into going back to a place where the worms eats our brain and the snakes in our stomach try to crawl out through our belly button.

I remain, steadfast.

I am the rock against which the surf crashes.

Nothing can break me.

[aspiring-holistic-otaku]

Season 3 Ramble#6 - Just Jump In! ver.3

This month’s episode is about the jump magazine line published by Shueisha(spell). I've done this twice before, hence v.3 but this time I decided to focus on all their magazine lines except weekly shonen jump, which is their most well known line around the world.

In previous rambles I gave details about the jump magazine line, it's publishing company shueisha, their target demographics and so on, but this is v3 so what I'm gonna do is skip all that and welcome you to check out my just jump in v1 or 2 rambles if you haven't or watch the ultimate guide to every jump magazine by manga crash on YouTube. that's the video's literal title btw. big shouts out to crash for the amount of research he put into that video. lots of great information on the intent of different lines and he shines light lines that have run from anywhere between a day and a decade. great channel and twitter in general and blah blah,, yh,, check out all 3 or none at all it's up to you.

but in any case what we're doing here today. in the present. that's different from all of the above, is focusing on reading everything that's not weekly shonen jump, which as I said is their most popular and definitely most financially successful magazine.

and for what it’s worth, it's also one of, if not their most accessible outside Japan, especially if you only entertain certain quality standards, so that being said I didn't get in that many new reads in this month. literally just 5 so I'm not even gonna really do the format thing I usually do and just jump right in fr.

This month’s reads

#5 Shadow Lady (Masakazu Katsura, complete w 24 chapters, V Jump)

The premise here is that a young shy girl turns into a sultry phantom thief at night by putting on magic eye liner.

Picked this up because I really dig zetman and video girl which this guy also did. still wasn't really expecting anything too crazy, would’ve welcomed something crazy, but it wasn't. what it did have going for it was the art though, if you've read any of this guy's other manga you'd know his art is definitely a winner + it's got that old school kinda charm ++ it's one of his older works. that charm also comes out in character dynamics as her main love interest is ofc a police officer that wants to catch her but doesn't know her secret identity. steamy hijinks ensues and there's laughs and everything but it's number 5 on a list of 5 things, 25 chapters. short read. not so sweet but we move.

#4 The bones of an invisible person(Jun Ogino, complete w 22 chapters, Shonen Jump+)

The story here is about a young girl in an abusive household that gains the power of invisibility, how she uses her powers, and the fallout of that.

Pretty melancholy vibe throughout but the kind that's like trying to carry itself through the muck, though it is the muck itself,, I hope that lit up the circuits in your brain I intended,, but if not a manga comparison can be found in pretty much all the works of inio asano or more closely in shuzo oshimi’s manga like happiness or drifting net cafe. you could also make a non manga comparison with media like Melancholia or The Banshees of Inisherin, great films that highlight the less dramatic, more subtle swamps of mundanity and how they can be born from and in turn give birth to the more dramatic aspects of life, both positive and negative. it also eeriely reminded me of a one shot from hiroki Endo’s short story anthology collection but I'm rambling now and I know it …

in any case, melancholy is a vibe and it's always great to see a melancholy ruminating girl in my media. #diversitywin. also always neat to see the more unsavoury side of supernatural powers, and not in the “what if Superman was evil?” kinda way but in the more “these powers are kind of like a burden actually" kinda way… pretty solid art. not that many characters but they tended to carry some nicely smoldering warmth which was a great contrast to the overarching vibe.

22 chapters. short and neat. short and sweet. would recommend.

#3 Neko Majin (Akira Toriyama, complete w 8 chapters, Monthly Shonen Jump)

Firstly. we can never say thank you enough to Akira Toriyama. his parting was an inevitability of his life so we're glad we had him and I'm super thankful for all the work he did and all the love he so clearly did it with.

that being said. there's no real story here. sir Toriyama just drew a silly little dude. specifically a silly little cat. that's been trained by another silly little dude. who goes by the name of Goku, you may have heard of him. definitely a gag manga, no I didn't get any crazy life threatening laughs from it but there's something about Toriyama's art that draws a smile on your face. ..crazy to think his style will come to be called “old school” in a few but that too is life… rest in power Akira Toriyama sensei.

#2 Kono Oto Tomare(Amyuu Sakura, 114 chapters ongoing, Jump Square/SQ)

First off. very important note. for those who don't know, the koto is a traditional Japanese instrument and is actually their national instrument. Personally I knew neither of these things before reading this manga. While reading though I tried intentionally listening to some koto music and it was pretty rad, like aside from the manga I'd recommend checking out some koto music and just traditional Japanese music overall tbh. pretty rad.

In any case, this manga is about a highschool koto club on the brink of being disbanded for not having enough members and the cumulative effort of overcoming that, led by a delinquent freshman.

I've seen it mentioned by quite a few people, a good number of people whose taste's and their analysis even, I have a lot of respect for, but I still wasn't expecting much. now that I've read it and experienced the awesomeness I'm pretty sure a lot of that came from not knowing what a koto was and not really caring. I thought the manga trying to make me care about it would be an uphill battle but the way they paralleled the different club members' development as individual and collective human beings, with their ability to produce unique sounds through the koto, again, both individually and collectively, was pretty phenomenal.

the ultra creative illustrations in art focused manga is pretty much always a winner for me but yet I still somehow I feel like I keep getting sucker punched by it,, especially here with the koto like going into this I had almost zero reference for how they sounded but I don't know what to tell you man they drew the shit out of that sound. ftr the art is pretty great all round. It has a bit of a shoujo feel, even a pinch of BL if your mind wanders down those roads but even at the surface level, the dynamics are pretty well orchestrated with a generally natural feel in any case.

The pacing is great and it looks like it's coming up to its climax,,, or crescendo if you want to force the pun, great time to pick it up and I definitely highly recommend.

side note. if you're wondering what I mean by art focused manga then I'd recommend listening to my rambles all about art and all about art v2.

#1 Cyborg 009(Shoutarou Ishinomori, 114/206 chapters, monthly shonen jump)

From reading this and reading about it I came into the knowledge that the creator of cyborg 009 was actually an assistant on tetsuwan atom, better known as astro boy here in the West. I just wanna take a moment here and say that astro boy is cool and all but this is the real greatest robot on earth.

The setting is the latter half of the twentieth century and sadly war is still a thing and sadder still the entire world seems engaged in it. looking into the camera like I'm on the office ofc. This is all fueled by a terrorist organization known as black ghost, that mainly profits by creating and selling more and more advanced weapons. again. the camera. So the world is so full of war, so full there's almost no room for anymore,, which interferes with profits and we can't have that. not in the good ol free market. so black ghost comes up with the ingenious idea of expanding the frontiers of fighting by creating 9 highly advanced cyborgs who can take the fighting below and above earth, sea, sky and even space. and they would've gotten away with it too but the cyborgs along with a remorseful rogue black ghost scientist, have retained enough of their human hearts to fight against this evil.

To start, because of how old it is, coming out in 1964, I thought I wouldn't be too into the action and have to really dig into the themes and so but it was pretty solid, usually effectively conveying their grand dramaticism if not always so smooth in choreography. great variety, which I really appreciated,. a lot of media say they have these fighters that can go at it anywhere and do anything but for some reason they usually end up just punching it out in some business district or something, but here? these guys were fighting anyone, anywhere, fr… for a cause..

cool dialogue and dynamics. fights trying to end fighting tend to generate that.. it’s always cool to see beacons of humanity shining through a mechanical lens, lots to say and unpack, but one thing I will definitively speak on to say I liked was the inner turmoil of the fighting. again, a lot of media just have folks punching out, granted they do tend to be for some higher purpose like saving the world or a loved one but fighting is still difficult more often times than not. yes physically so but mentally and emotionally, yes someone needs to fight but why does it have to be me, why do I have to fight this way and what does one become through fighting, win or lose? great stuff, especially as I said through that mechanical lens.

Old ass art but it's got charm, sadly the messages are still very potent to this day, really wish it were a case of looking back like man humanity was so foolish then huh?? but in any case really really great read, had always dug the aesthetic from the glimpses of one of the anime adaptations I saw every now and then as a kid, really really glad the actual content matched and even exceed that. highly recommend but grain of salt due to translation hell.

Things read before this month

[split into different lines mentioning finished reads first then ongoing]

-V Jump

Go! Go! Ackman

-Jump SQ

Claymore

Show ha shoten, World Trigger

-Jump+

summer time rendering, fire punch, I sold my life for 10,000 yen a year, moon land

CSM part 2, sxf, tis time for torture princess, you and I are polar opposites, ruridragon, magilumiere co. ltd., dandadan, thermae romae redux

-Monthly Shonen Jump

Astro Boy

~Seinen~

-Weekly Young Jump Magazine

Tokyo ghoul series, golden kamuy, usogui, liar game, tough, sidooh, gantz, zetman, all you need is kill, Beshari-Gurashi, the climbe

Choujin x, real, boy’s abyss, dogs red, kowloon generic romance

-Business Jump magazine

One Outs, Battle Angel Alita, Sing Yesterday For Me

Golden Boy 2

-Super Jump Magazine

Kurozuka

Golden Boy

-Ultra Jump Magazine

Suicide Girl

JJBA Part 9 Jojolands

a lot I haven't gotten to, every word a single drop, give thanks for sticking around till here, jump into the ramble of you want to listen in to the post ramble ramble o7

[girltomboy]

Week & weekend recap

So last week I finally came home on Monday, and I told my parents I'd start work Tuesday but in reality I took Tuesday off because it was my boyfriend's birthday and I just wanted to hang out with him and do stuff together - on a video call. And we played some games, watched stuff, took a little nap, ordered pizza, the usual chill stuff. My boyfriend finally got a new phone last week, and it's been great receiving spotify links and photos he took and edited, etc. but I'm mostly glad he got rid of that cracked brick. Not that his new one is not a brick too 💀 Anyway, after that I started going to the office and seeing my work bestie again, we went to quiz night and I asked my other coworker - organizer of quiz night - to bring me a jacket because it was so fucking cold. And she did, so the next day I made her a cute little drawing and put it in the jacket's pocket before returning it. And on Thursday M and I went out for dinner, but I decided to order something new, like a salad. But it was terrible, I never thought a salad could come out so fucked up. It might have had some teriyaki sauce or something cause it was awfully sweet and I hate that shit in salads. But at least we ate something, and afterwards M was ready to go home. I was like "you wanna go for a short walk first? Or maybe go say hi to A (our quiz-organizing coworker who was presenting another quiz night at some other place)?" to which she agreed, so we went there and sat outside where we could still hear A, and had 2 mugs of mulled wine and talked and laughed for hours. So this time I was the one who convinced her to stay longer. And on Friday we decided to work from home, and I got my period too AND had to prepare for my bf to come spend the weekend with me, so that was a good decision.

My bf arrived Saturday morning, I greeted him and we both went back to sleep because it was the crack of dawn. After we woke up I took a shower and we exchanged gifts, mine was for his birthday and his was for our anniversary. We had breakfast, kissed a lot, got stoned and watched stuff. In the afternoon we took a nap and then woke up to go out for dinner. I took him to the place M and I usually eat at (the one with the dogshit salad), and we both had some really good filling meals, and drank hot chocolate. After that we went to the store our friend works at just to say hi, since he was about to start his night shift. So we waited for him a bit and then smoked a cigarette when he finally came, then we went home. We started watching The Banshees of Inisherin, but we were way too sleepy to finish it, so we went to bed and left it for the next day. On Sunday my bf got us hot dogs and we finished the movie. We were both absolutely smitten with it, it deserved every bit of praise it received. It also reminded us both of two of our friends who decided to end their friendship (one of them we visited Saturday night before his shift). We also finished King of The Hill and this show was so fucking good we were in disbelief it ended. We looked up info about the reboot but apparently it's still in the works for 2025. Sunday evening we got dressed to visit our friend and his sister, my boyfriend gave them both cake for his birthday, and our friend showed us how he smokes weed on his "balcony" which is just a wide windowsill lmaooo and it was so weird it was like we were on a stage because he lives on the ground floor. So everyone walking by could just see us there 💀 but anyway we hung out a bit and he gave us some booze and a really terrible cocktail. Sometimes he nails them, but other times they're worse than my make believe potions from when I was 6. We went home super exhausted and went straight to bed.

And on Monday he had a uni-related errand to run, so he went there early, came back with food from the cafeteria for me 👉👈 and then he just sat quietly next to me while I worked. He didn't even want to nap. After I was done we placed a food order and lay in bed a little, just dozing off and cuddling. We had dinner and then finally watched the first two episodes of Breaking Bad. It's been interesting seeing them again, the first time I watched it I was in high school and mostly did it as a distraction. For some reason watching old stuff I used to watch doesn't hit the same because I just don't remember any of them being so corny. I'm mainly talking about Breaking Bad now, but Orphan Black is another example that comes to mind. A while ago I tried rewatching the pilot and it was a nice trip down memory lane, but I had to stop at some point. I don't even know why they seem corny to me now lol. But my bf enjoyed them and is excited to continue watching, and so am I.

He left this morning and I burst into tears as soon as I heard the downstairs door close because I'm just gonna miss him so much. Obviously we talk and see each other daily, but feeling him close and getting to be around him and touch and smell him and kiss him all the time doesn't even compare to seeing him in my phone. Like I always think I'm used to us being long-distance temporarily, but it's only after he leaves again that it starts feeling heavy and sad. I mean I AM used to it, I just wish we didn't have to be used to it.

[kashilascorner]

Originally posted this as a comment on this video but I just finished The banshees of Inisherin and I have some thoughts I'd like to put here (obs spoilers for the film)

To be honest, the second half of the film made me quite uncomfortable due to the self m*tilation. I really don't "get" Colm other than he's probably depressed and for whatever reason he looks (by the beginning of the film) as unnecessarily mean to Padraic who is overall a nice guy. But is he really? It's interesting how Padraic becomes increasingly ''meaner'' as Colm becomes increasingly ''compassionate'' (taking as reference the beginning of the film), as shown by Padraic's lies to the visiting musician, his words to Dominic, his demands to his sister and his final actions, and shown in Colm helping Padraic after the policeman knocked him down, recognizing how interesting he can be after his drunken discourse at the pub, and feeling sorry for accidentally killing Jenny the donkey.

Colm felt more of a catalyst than a fully fleshed character, which is very interesting because by the end of the film I ended up with a vague impression that there were two banshees: the first banshee (allegorical or real) is obviously the old lady. But Colm himself is a bringer of death (though also because of Padraic's fault), a grim, bloody figure in his own right and most importantly, someone who seems to (unknowingly?) announce/bring upon calamities. Hell, he literally wrote a song called The Banshees of Inisherin. The most prominent one would be the end of his frienship with Padraic (a sort of death, arguably a "killing" of said relationship on Colm's part at the start), though the most obvious would be the donkey's death. But there's also his own demise. Colm is a musician, therefore cutting off his own fingers not only shows his unwillingness to compromise and reflects what the priest refers to as his "despair", it's beyond m*tilation. He's quite literally sealing his fate and writing his own death: without a livelihood, without his craft (and mind you, writing songs was at one point one of the arguments he had for cutting off ties with Padraic), his very self identity.

On a textual level, it's obvious that Colm needs help and though it's perfectly understandable people around him had no idea how to deal with that, it's frankly appalling that they just don't do anything at all (the scene of his hand bleeding all over the music sheets as the musicians play and he feasts in the pub being genuinely horrifying), no apparent attempt at talking about it, no doctor called, nothing --except fot the very mild attempt of the priest during both confessions... And Padraic's ultimately misled but headstrong attempt to understand and just be by his hide. The thing is Padraic wants his old friend (and perhaps most importantly, his routine) back, so to which point is he actually willing to accept an ill (mentally ill) Colm? He does discuss it with his sister Siobhan, so I think he tried to help in his own way, but by the end we see a lot of it was based on selfishness and his fear of loneliness. A fear that came true.

On a more subtextual level, Colm's mutilation is more of a metaphor and he is just someone who wants to let go. I have been in that situation too, having a friend go away and never return without any possible explanation. It just happens sometimes that people drift apart. And it hurts like hell, but we all do it. In this level of analysis, Colm is not destructively self isolating but just genuinely wants to cut ties and be on his own and with other people and move on while Padraic -desperate, needy, lonely and simple Padraic- won't let him. Colm hurts himself (or in other words, he suffers by being forced to stay in a relationship he wants to leave) in an attempt to drive him away but maybe Padraic doesn't care enough for his friend and instead cares more about his own feelings, his own loneliness, his confusion, his own fear. I think both layers interact, and in both Padraic's confusion and need for an explanation, refusal to accept the new situation and yearn for closure are central. Both Padraic and Colm sin in their blindness towards each other, and leave victims on the way (the victims being third parties, but also themselves).

While I tink the movie wasn't satisfying (not much happens and as pointed out in tbe video, nothing gets solved) it was definitely thought provoking, very well made and modt of all, stunning to look at.

Also to me it wasn't comedic almost at all (it is listed on verious sites as a "black tragicomedy") but it certainly felt absurdist. My favorite scenes were the one in which drunken Padraic confronts Colm and reflects on niceness vs leaving something "important" for posterity and the scene when Padraic finds the poor donkey (and since Siobhan had left, Dominic was presumably already dead, so Padraic is now really all by himself). The last scene is superb too, with the old woman taking Colm's chair and sitting to watch the pair's true breakup talk (here too, there are two chairs in the scene: one tumbled down which I presume Colm used to break the window and scape the fire, and a second chair besides. The old woman/banshee takes up one and the other one is left empty apparently for Colm, according to my opinion of Colm himself being sort of a banshee figure too)