#ANYWAY I GET TRAILED OFF AROUND THE MIDDLE BUT W/E LOL

[tragairem]

warning : long n rambling n lots of death talk as per usual

@friendshauna

okay but first ... lets talk about the parallels between serena elizabeth carlisle and first treasury secretary alexander hamilton : they were both immigrants , coming from a rough household and forcing their way into the world , having to scream and shout to prove themselves to a world that was trying to push them out of it . ‘ alex, you gotta fend for yourself ’ serena has always done that as well , not just fending for herself , but for her little sibling as well . serena came from the bottom , and when she got her shot , took it and ran with it !! like serena was a wonder - kid , she had brains , beauty , strength !!! she had a good heart !

but there are also strong differences in that serena is incredibly soft - spoken , but when it matters , she won’t back down with her beliefs . SERENA WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON ELIZABETH SCHUYLER GET FUCKED A DOT HAM

shauna’s got a ton of similarities with eliza ; loving serena not because she was creating a fantastic life for herself , not because she was going to be famous , not because serena was the future champion in the making no doubt about it ! if it was for that , shauna would’ve easily fallen for calem first . but shauna’s affections are for the protag aka serena in this case !! serena , at her core , is a very scared , but determined , friendly , yet brutal woman . shauna basically took serena under her wing when serena didn’t know anything .

shauna loves serena for who she is at her core . not what the world created , not what serena created . 

the bad thing about that is that shauna would probably follow serena anywhere ????? when serena is also fundamentally very gray - morally . this can also be good though because shauna can remind serena of who she is ... the fact that serena actively chooses to be a good person and shauna is a good reminder of the reason why she does it , even when things get hard ...

shauna also understands who serena is ! she understands serena is justice driven , believes that the ends justify the means , etc , and can forgive serena for her mistakes . shauna knows serena is self - sacrificing as FUCK . serena proves it by dying for her and calem . and you can’t tell me shauna doesn’t know . that shauna didn’t immediately put two and two together but had no option other than to go .

literally all shauna wants is to be a part of serena’s life , no matter where that leads them . shauna’s love for serena is the purest love in her entire love imo !!

whereas calem’s love for serena is very ego driven , in a way , but getting serena to fall in love with him , it’s a win . calem’s is also very superficial ; serena is unattainable . she’s an angel , a goddess . she stole EVERYTHING from him ; not on purpose , but regardless . she also is someone calem can’t beat . and he when she leaves , calem is both upset , and thrilled . but he didn’t beat her .

the reason that calem is the one who ‘ lives ’ , is because in the end , he still isn’t the one who gets the glory , the fame .... even when he becomes champion , kalos still loves serena . serena is their heroine . he will always inevitably be seen as serena’s ‘ replacement ’ . calem gets to grow old , but he doesn’t preserve serena’s story -- he tries to forget . he later , begins to think the worst of serena and it’s only after he fully understands her that he’ll understand that the world was ‘ wide enough ’ for himself and serena . 

calem will ONLY understand and appreciate serena when she’s long gone , he will never be able to love her properly . 

shauna does . shauna is the one who would protect serena’s legacy . she’s the one who would give serena’s things to museums , tell her children about serena’s light , even when serena is long gone and no longer visits shauna anymore , shauna still remembers ; she tells her grandchildren . shauna is the one who lives the longest , the one who carries on what serena started ; making the world a better place .

‘ i ask myself what would you do if you had more time ? the lord in his kindness , he gives me what you always wanted , he gives me more time . ‘

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SERENA WANTS FOR HER . serena dreams of shauna growing old and being happy and loving life and having a bunch of kids and just ... god !! serena almost could’ve had that !! i bet the last time serena sees shauna before she dies she fucking tells her this too , tells her to live , tells her all this .

and shauna only ever wanted to bring serena peace . in a moment of panic , when serena was dying , when serena was recovering ; it was shauna who brought calm . shauna , who was the eye of the hurricane of her mental breakdown . 

serena just wants to die at the time of her death . serena is suicidal and has always wanted to die in such a fashion . it’s the perfect way for her to go . but you know who she thinks of ? shauna . she realizes her time is completely up , sees her friends and family when she dies , but when she thinks of shauna , she doesn’t want that . there’s a split second where she thinks , no !

‘ and when my time is up , have i done enough ? will they tell our story ? i can’t wait to see you again ... it’s only a matter of time ... ‘

shauna knows damn well she will see serena again , no matter how much time passes between it . 

shauna tells serena’s story . and serena is at shauna’s side when she dies . 

like i can imagine shauna dying with all her friends and her family around her , but they start to clear out , and eventually , there’s one person left .

and it’s serena . 

still looking the same way she did the day she died herself , and serena can help shauna and just !!! this is where i’m geTTING EMOTIONAL SERENA BEING THERE WHEN SHAUNA DIES AND HELPING HER STAY CALM AND TELLING HER ALL THE GOOD THINGS SHE DID FOR HER .........

‘ when i needed her most , she was right on time . ‘

[davidobitch]

16 w colby? your writing is 10/10 would recommend

first of all, i’m so so so sorry this took forever. and it’s probably shit. my brain is literal mush and i’ve been trying to write this forever and nothing i wrote was good enough. But if yall like this enough maybe i could pull off a part 2 somehow???

anyways requested from here

“Dude, hurry up. We’re gonna make it there by next year if you keep taking your time!” Sam yelled at Colby, hoping it would make him move faster. “We’re literally going to be in the middle of the woods, why the hell are you making yourself look good?” 

“Bro what if we run into some cute girl? I don’t want to be looking like a mess.” Colby said, poking his head out the door, “I gotta stay impressing.”

Sam’s eyes widened, laughing at what his best friend just said, “Colby! We’re gonna be in the woods!” 

Colby rolled his eyes at Sam and finished getting ready, only to see that Sam was busy editing a video. “Wow so now that I’m ready to go, you decide to edit your video?” Colby joked, shaking his head at Sam.

“Ok ok,” Sam threw his hands up in surrender, “Let me just save this and I’ll be down in a second.”

***

“I’m gonna have to stop for gas, we’re almost on E,” Sam shouts over the music blaring through the car speakers. Colby nods as he pulls into the gas station. The boys venture into the convenience store while they wait for the car to fill up.

“Are there bears?” Jake questions as he trails behind the group, “What about mountain lions?”

Corey and Jake started arguing about woodsy animals when Corey slightly shoved Jake into the aisle.

Colby turns around from the counter just in time to see Jake falling into another person, “Dude watch wh- woah hey are you okay?” His hands reach out to help them off the floor.

Words couldn’t describe the feelings rushing through Colby’s body at this very moment. Amazement. Nervous. Flustered. Infatuated even.

His eyes were glued to the girl in front of him. The most beautiful girl he’s ever seen in his entire lifetime. Long black hair, her tanned skin making her blue eyes appear almost as bright as the morning sky.

“Oh shit, my bad,” Jake chuckles, pulling Colby back to reality, “It was his fault,” He said, pointing his finger at Corey, who already had his jaw to the floor and his hand covering where his heart is.

“I did no such thing, sir!” Corey practically shouts, causing the cashier to yell at the group to stay quiet. 

Your face grew redder by the second when you caught Colby still looking at you. Should I say something? 

“Sorry, I’m Colby,” He blurts out, almost like he read your mind, “That’s Jake, Corey, and Sam,” pointing to each friend as they were named off.

“(Y/N), and this is my sister McKenna,” you step to the side, introducing her.

Neither you nor Colby took your eyes off each other while everyone made small talk.

“Yo, we gotta go, if we want to get there before dark,” Sam says as he throws his arm around Colby’s shoulder guiding him out the doors, “It was really nice running into you.” 

“I see what you did there,” you chuckle, shaking your head, “It was nice meeting you guys. We have to get going, too,” You and your sister start walking away from the boys as they do.

Just as you were about to reach your car, you glanced over one more time to see Colby, once again, looking at you, but this time a smile plays on his lips as his eye drops down to wink at you. 

**

“Why didn’t you tell him you were a fan?” You sister asks on the drive home.

You shrug your shoulders, not really having an answer, “I don’t know. I kind of just froze up,”

It was silent for a couple more minutes until you realized how stupid you were, “Oh my god,” you groan out, throwing your head against the seat, “I didn’t even ask for his number. I’m such a pussy!”

Your sister laughed next to you, agreeing with your statement, “Dm him on instagram! Maybe he’ll actually see it and reply?”

You were hesitant at first. With your luck, he wouldn’t see it and all you would have to remember is the 5 minute interaction.

“Fuck it,” you mumbled under your breath before pulling your phone out. 

your/ig: hi. so this is probably totally weird, but we ran into each other earlier today and i really don’t know where i’m going w this. but i guess i’m shooting my shot?

Letting out a deep sigh. you crossed your fingers in hopes that he would see it.

**

“Any update?” you heard your sister ask as she took a seat next to you on the couch. You shook your head, not bothering to check your messages again.

It’s been 3 days since your run in and Colby hasn’t replied back, let alone even read your message. You knew not to get your hopes up, but part of you had a feeling that just this once, things were going to go your way.

Your sister drops the subject and turns her attention to the movie you put on. About half way through you ended up dozing off but were suddenly woken up by your sister letting out a blood curdling shriek and shook you awake, “(Y/N)! Wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up!” You were blinded by the light bouncing off your phone onto your face, “You phone kept beeping and it was annoying me so i went to go turn the volume off and-”

When your eyes finally adjusted to the small screen in front of you finally saw what she was getting overly excited about.

“Holy shit, she dmed me” you muttered under your breath, “McKenna he fucking dmed me!” This time your voice was booming.

colbybrock: hey! I hope you’re still shooting your shot. We just got back from our trip, otherwise i would have replied a lot sooner

colbybrock: i’m glad you dmed me. I was stupid enough to not ask for your number. 

“Are you gonna message him back?” McKenna squeals, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

Just as you went to reply, Colby started typing another message to you, “He’s typing!” you shout, accidentally throwing your phone across the couch.

Your phone went off, signaling the message from Colby.

colbybrock: here’s my number. It’ll be easier than instagram lol

“Wow my sister is dating a famous youtube boy,” McKenna jokes, shoving you lightly.

“Kenna, he literally just sent me his number. Don’t be crazy,” you roll your eyes. 

But maybe eventually.

[shirtlesssammy]

8x01: We Need to Talk About Kevin

Then:

P U R G A T O R Y

Now:

100-Mile Wilderness, Maine

1 Year Later

A couple is sleeping peacefully in the forest when a bright light fills the sky, waking the woman.

The couple goes out to investigate when they hear rustling outside. It’s a deer! Close...it’s Dean! He’s looking more like a feral rat than a deer. I would not want to run into someone looking like Dean in the middle of nowhere, that’s for sure. He pulls his gun, asks where the road is, grabs a bag of their stuff, and skedaddles. Yikes. First, for anyone not caught up, let’s all collectively scream what we all thought on our first viewing: Where’s Cas??! Second, who the fuck hikes anywhere, let alone the 100 Mile Wilderness trail with that kind of gear?! Camp chairs? A lantern the size of a dining room chandelier? A tent that’s making Harry Potter quake? Anyway, I lol thinking this is the most unbelievable part of this scene, and not the dude who just got back from Purgatory. 

Clayton, Louisiana

4 Days Later

Cue up Styx “Man in the Wilderness”, and sit back and watch one of my favorite montages. Watching Dean walk down a road never gets old. He walks to a cemetery and digs up a grave. He chants an incantation over some bones, and voilà, he brings back to life a vampire! They embrace.

Wait, what? 

In Kermit, Texas, Sam’s ditching on a woman AND a dog. He drives to Rufus’s cabin in Montana, where a hiding Dean assaults him with all the monster tests. They both pass, and hug. Sam is shocked. “I guess standing too close to exploding dick, sends your ass straight to Purgatory.” Dean explains the situation with the first dick joke of the season. Sam has further questions, and Dean is vague on the details. Sam also wonders about Cas. Dean shuts down a little more and admits, “Yeah, Cas didn’t make it.” 

Sam presses the matter. “Something happened to him down there. Things got pretty hairy towards the end, and he... just let go,” Dean adds. So, he admits that Cas let go here, did he alter his memory after this? In any event, Dean’s really broken about it. 

Sam then admits that he got out of the life, tossed all his phones, etc. “Something happened to me this year, too.” Gah, like a complete breakdown and fugue state, but I will reserve my thoughts for my non-existent essay on the state of Sam’s mind when Dean and Cas were in Purgatory. That sends Dean into an anger spiral. (Natasha: LIMES)

He listens to all of Sam’s phone messages --the increasingly desperate and eventually disillusioned pleas for help from Kevin. 

He was their responsibility, and Sam just ditched him. Uh, because he was in complete mental failure! Sam hears something in the background of the last message and is able to isolate the sound to a bus station. They track him to Michigan, where his girlfriend, Channing, is attending college. 

Once at the motel, Dean sees two boys playing with their toy guns, which sends him into a memory spiral. He’s chasing a vamp in Purgatory and eventually catches him. “Where’s the angel?”

WhEreS tHe aNgEl?

W H E R E ‘ S  T H E  A N G E L?

??

?

(Don’t touch me.)

“You’re him. The human.” 

Like, excuse me? The monsters are all meeting up talking about the human wandering around Purgatory looking for that angel? LIKE PLEASE. No, please STOp. I can’t take it, even after all these years. 

Anyway, Dean keeps demanding to know where that goddamned angel is. The vamp refuses to say so Mr. Dramatic lops his head off set to a very elegant camera angle. 

Another monster attacks but Dean’s too far from his machete. Then ANOTHER monster attacks THAT monster. Spoiler: IT’S BENNY! 

Later, in the motel, Dean suggests moving on, but Sam thinks he should get some rest. Dean goes into another anger spiral --probably because he couldn’t sleep for a year and all Sam did was sleep due to his complete breakdown. Sam trying to ignore that he didn’t have control of his world isn’t helping him with Dean. Sam found “a girl.” Well, actually, she was a fully grown woman, but go on… Listen, I don't like the Amelia stuff as much as the next person, so I have a very elaborate headcanon of Sam’s mental break and the symbolic fantasy world he created while he barely existed at the cabin. 

Anyway, Sam asks Dean what Purgatory was like. “It was bloody. Messy. 31 flavors of bottom-dwelling nasties. Hell, most days felt like 360-degree combat. But there was something about being there.”

“It felt pure.”

It fElT PuRe

I T  F E L T  P U R E

Flashback to Purgatory, where Dean’s life is still saved by Benny, the vampire. Dean threatens to shiv him up the ass so...every friendship needs to start somewhere? The vampire knows an escape hatch out of Purgatory! But it’s only for humans. He’ll show him the portal as long as Dean smuggles his soul out of Purgatory. 

The first rule of Purgatory is you can’t trust anyone. Dean doesn’t trust Benny - not an inch. But he does need allies. He tells Benny that he’ll agree to that tenuous deal as long as they find “the angel” first.

At a college, the Winchesters interview Channing. She hasn’t heard a word from Kevin and furthermore, would spurn his love forever now that he’s no longer going to Princeton. Ouch! After they leave, Channing’s eyes go black and she slices her roommate's throat so she can make a phone call. DOUBLE OUCH! She reports that Kevin still hasn’t gotten in touch with her, but Dean Winchester is back.

Trying to get some work done amongst the students, Sam experiences his own mournful flashback. He hit a dog! He shouted at veterinary hospital employees! Damn it, this is an animal hospital!!! I hand you a bloody dog, you fix! Shouting helps things happen! 

Sam bby.

Dean arrives with a burger in hand, reunited with one of the loves of his life at least. Sam reports that he’s tracked Kevin to Iowa.

At a run down church in Iowa, the Winchesters pay a house call. Kevin immediately confronts them with a Borax-loaded supersoaker. Once he figures out they’re human, Kevin gives them the tour of his new digs. He’s learned how to ward against demons. And then while explaining his recent past, Kevin has his own flashback! Everyone gets one! 

In Kevin’s flashback, he’s been captured by Crowley who sits him down to work on another tablet. A DEMON tablet! Dun dun DUN! Kevin mines its secrets and tells Crowley that there’s a hell gate in Wisconsin. (Made out of cheese?) Demons gather ingredients for him and Kevin gets to have a MONTAGE of preparing a spell to open the gate. Only…

...Kevin was hoodwinking the demons the whole time. 

He’d found a demon bomb recipe and blasts away his guards while Crowley waits on a distant Wisconsin farm. 

Back in the present, Kevin’s stowed the tablet somewhere safe but before he did that, he made sure to memorize one more important spell from the tablet: a spell to close the gates of Hell...FOREVER. 

Dean and Sam head outside to the...second story church deck?...to chat. Sam’s disappointed that Kevin seems further into the hunting life than before. Dean’s proud of the kid - “he’s in it whether he likes it or not.” Oof. Dean, your Winchester is showing.

Sam heads down to the candle-lit church. He apologizes to Kevin for bugging out on him - and on everything hunting related. It’s definitely staged like a confession.

Kevin admits that he’s perturbed when he really stops and thinks about his life, post-prophet-revelation. Sam assures him that “it gets better.” Hmm RLY? Sam’s an optimist, and continues: if they can banish all the demons, Kevin might actually be free to live a good life. BRB weeping and shouting angrily at this show!

In Sam’s hazy flashback, he waits anxiously for the news from the vet. She reports that his dog will be okay. Sam corrects her - the dog isn’t his! She double barrel blasts him with sarcasm, implying that if he doesn’t take care of the dog he hit then he’s the worst person in the world. Which. Okay. I generally don’t mind Amelia though I think she demonstrably has terrible luck picking stable, healthy relationships. But this scene always has me rolling my eyes. It’s so normal to foist a dog on a stranger! Everyone has the means and time to care for a dog, not to mention a dog who has been seriously injured! A vet would not do this! Amelia, plz. 

Amelia puppy dog eyes Sam, and he’s toast. He’s spent so many years working on his offensive puppy eyed tactics, he never thought to work on his defense!

The church begins to shake and wood splits apart Kevin’s devil’s traps. A couple of demons arrive, armed with more swagger than weaponry. There’s a zappy flashy kicky fight and then Crowley and Channing arrive. Crowley demands the tablet for Channing’s life. He flashes Channing back into control for a moment as proof of life. Kevin offers himself up in exchange for Channing’s freedom and heads off to “pack up.” Then Kevin lures Crowley and Channing to a holy water trap.

As they’re being doused, the Winchesters and Kevin escape. While they drive away, Crowley orders the demon out of Channing and then kills her. Oof. 

Later, Dean gets a phone call as they stop for gas and snacks, and then passes it off as a wrong number. Kevin passes on donuts and beef jerky. He just saw his girlfriend die and that doesn’t lend itself well to gas station snacks. 

Dean offers up words of Winchester Solace™. “You’re in it now. Whether you like it or not you do what you gotta do.” Good talk, Dean! 

On Dean’s pee break, he furtively places a phone call. It’s Benny, the vampire from earlier! He’s lurking on the edges of a funeral in a not-at-all-suspicious way. He figured out cell phones! But not fashion.

Dean tells him that they shouldn’t talk for a while since they’re both adjusting to life. Benny wistfully tells Dean that Purgatory WAS pure and he should have appreciated it more while he was there. They both admonish each other to be good (and presumably not go on a murderous rampage). Good talk!

WHERE’RE THE QUOTES?

We made it, brother

I don't know whether to give you a hug or take a shower

Nothing says "family" quite like the whole family being dead

Where’s the angel?

Hey, the rules are simple, Sam. You don't take a joint from a guy named Don, and there's no dogs in the car!

So you're looking for a soul train

There's a demon in you, and you're going to your safety school

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[sincerlyyme-blog]

Walnut (Evan Hansen x Reader)

TW: SMUT, really smutty, like use of the word boobs and condom

Words: 2,176

Requested: Nope lol

Disclaimer: this is my very first smut... ever. if i am absoloutley garbage - please tell me. seriously. i will stop lol. anyways, this is a super fumbly/nervous smut thing bc lets be real... evan would not be the most confident in this region. 

Yours and Evan’s relationship seemed to fall into a format that could be related to English literature: repeated and rhythmically patterned. The moment you two start doing something, you couldn’t stop. After your first kiss, Evan would not stop pecking you on the lips. After your first time holding hands, Evan couldn’t bare not capturing your fingers and intertwining them with his. Just last month, you and Evan had your first make out session.

It was strange at first. It took a while to getting used to. It would start off with a kiss, standing up. Then Evan would have to break away to control his breathing from excitement. It took a while to find a sitting position where you were both comfortable to lock lips. A few fumbles and bumped heads later, it was decided that the best spot was if you straddled Evan’s lap whilst he sat on his bed - leaning against the wall.

The make out session would include straddling and hair pulling at the bare minimum. It was so new to both you and Evan that you had to make a code word. Every time one of you got a little too excited, you would murmur the word walnut. That would give you or Evan time to calm down before continuing in kissing. At the beginning of the month, it was quite rare that the word would need to be used. 2-3 weeks into the make out month, Evan had used it 6 times and you twice. Now, at the end of the month, Evan needed a break every 10 minutes.

           Today was like every other day of the month. Evan greeted you after last period with a kiss. You two would walk to his house, holding hands. Stepping through the door, he led you upstairs. The two of you giggled like children. Evan’s mom was rarely home. Which could give you the range of make out spot possibilities, but Evan didn’t like change. Evan liked security and being able to know what goes on around him. Because of that, each afternoon snog would be in his room, with the door shut.

           You reached up onto your tip toes and grabbed Evan’s face in your hands. Smiling widely, you connected your lips together. Evan immediately placed his hands on your hips, pulling you into his lanky frame. Smiling against his warmth, you slowly led him to the edge of his bed so he could scurry against the wall; for you to get into your regular seating position. The moment you swung your legs around his hips and sat on him, his eyes grew wide.

           “Walnut,” he whispered, as if the world could hear him.

           “Already?” you question curiously.

           He nodded quickly, swallowing hard. You nodded with a small smile, obviously respecting his wishes to take a quick breather. After a few moments passed, he gave you the nod to keep going. You pressed your lips back to his, moving your mouth in sync. Your hands brushed up his blue polo and into his sandy locks. He let out the smallest of whimpers. It left butterflies in your stomach. Evan’s hands ran up and down your sides. Pulling away from his lips, you looked into his sunken eyes.

           “We are going to try something a little different, okay?” you searched his eye for approval. He gulped and nodded slowly.

           You continued to kiss him, then slowly trailed them down his neck. About two inches away from his ear, he seemed to become weak. You applied the smallest amount of pressure, and you felt his body stiffen.

           “Walnut,” he stammered.

           You kept going. Taking his hands in yours, you slowly guided them north – up to your breasts. 

          “Walnut,” his eyes flew open and watched intensely as to where you set his hands. You held his hands there, making them apply pressure to the new destination. 

          “Walnut, ohmygod, walnut,” he pracitcally hollered. 

            You pulled away quickly, looking at your loving boyfriend. His hair was sticking up, his lips were swollen, eyes were wide, and a small tent forming in his khakis. 

             “I-It was a really close call this time,” he breathed out, blushing like a mad man. 

              “Evan, we should really talk about this,” you looked at him with wide eyes.

               “Ohmygod, you think I’m so weird, don’t you? I-I can try my best, next time? I will try and last as long as I can without saying it-”

               “No, no, Evan. It’s not that,” you chuckled. You could hear him sigh with relief. “I’ve been thinking about this whole thing. You have been saying the code word so often, that it’s just- I don’t know-”

           “W-What is it?” he scrambled to hold your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles.

           “You’ll find it silly,” you laughed sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

           “Me? F-Find it silly? No way…José,” he gave you an awkward, toothy grin.

           “Okay, okay, I was just thinking – God, I don’t know, - that it’s silly how we go so far and you get so worked up and then we never… I don’t know… finish?”

           “Y-You mean, you want to-“

           “Only if you want to-“

           “W-Well maybe we could-“

           “Oh my gosh, Evan, i-it’s okay-“

           “No,” he took both of your hands in his, looking up into your eyes. “I want to. I-I really want to.”

           Evan’s mom was coming home in an hour. So you and Evan decided that tomorrow evening would be the best.

 -

 It was the next morning; you had just gone to the guidance counselor to ask for a condom. You asked Evan to pick up a package of them at the corner store, but he was afraid that somehow – they would end up telling the whole town.

The entire day was filled with excitement. Yours and Evan’s face stayed a shade of firetruck red all afternoon. During lunch, Evan rested his hand on your thigh, which only made your blushing worse. Of course, Jared picked up on it and made an obnoxious comment. Something the along the lines of being “fucking gay”, and calling Evan a “weird sex freak”.

The final bell had rang and you practically ran into Evan. You giggled at each other, knowing that he had rushed to meet you too.

-

 Evan closed his bedroom door and suddenly got nervous. You frowned when you saw him fumbling with the material of his shirt.

“What’s wrong, Evan?” you asked softly. You sat him down on his bed, sitting next to him. Running your hand up his arm, you tried your best to comfort him. He shrugged in response. “We don’t have to do this,” you reminded him. “I’m more than happy to wait. This is a consensual thing. I love you, you know that, right?” you cracked a smile, and saw him crack one too.

            “I-I want to do this. I-I’m just scared. What if I mess up? What if I…” he began to trail off. He looked up at you and whispered, “what if I cum too early?”

           Your face turned red to match his. “It’s okay if all of that happens. This is a learning experience for the both of us. We can go slow,” you kissed him gently on the cheek. You waited for him to respond. Obviously, you would never pressure him to do something like this.

           Evan turned to you, “can we still use walnut?”

           Giggling, you nodded, “Of course.”

            Evan scooted to rest his back on the wall, pulling you up onto his lap. “I-I’m ready,” he whispered against your lips.

           You two started out as per usual. Evan didn’t use the code word once. You were kissing his neck, until he pulled away, gesturing to his shirt.

           “Should I take this off?” he asked very calmly.

           You nodded, helping him remove his polo. You were breathless at the sight. His pale form was structured like a sculpture. Every muscle, vein, and freckle was beautifully scattered on his flesh. Birth marks, moles, and little chest hairs dusted his torso. You ran your fingertips along the stretch marks that had been placed there from his middle school growth spurts.

           “You, Evan Hansen, are beautiful,” you reminded him. Evan turned an even deeper shade of red.

           Taking his hands, you guided him to the hem of your sweater. You allowed him to pull it off of you, revealing your bare skin and plain push-up bra.

           “Wow…” he breathed out, absoloutley mesmerized. You began to feel the familiar tent beneath your lap.

           “You can-um, you can touch me,” you reminded him nervously, with a small giggle.

           He reached up shakily, cupping your bra in his hands. He felt you cautiously, as if he could easily break you. He was speechless. It was the first real pair of boobs he had ever seen.

           You giggled at his expression, reaching behind you unclasping your bra. As Evan kneaded your skin, he gasped as the material fell off of your breasts. His tent grew tighter and his eyes became wider. You guided his hands to your nipples, letting him touch the sensitive nubs. You threw your head back with a whimper. Evan was shaking. 

“W-Walnut, ohmygod, shit, walnut,” he whispered between his teeth. 

You nodded, watching as his eyes shut tight and his hands froze in place. You could tell that he was trying to calm his breathing. You were surprised at his sudden colourful language. A few moments passed, and your boyfriend slowly opened his eyes. 

“Did you-”

“N-No, I’m still- um- full,” he mumbled back quickly. 

You giggled at his word choice and placed his hands on your hips. You pressed your lips to his, trying to give him a feeling of familiarity. Evan soon became comfortable, taking the slightest bit of control. His fingers traced down to the hemline of your jeans. He popped open the button. Climbing off of him, you laid down beneath him, watching him hover over your body. He slid your jeans down your legs, placing the material to the side. His eyes gazed over your body, drinking the sight before him. 

“Walnut,” he whispered. 

You sighed, leaning your head back on the pillow as his eyes shut tight again. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just that- You’re laying there- fuck- you just look so good. And holy hell I don’t know if I can-” 

Giggling, you stopped his rambling. “Ev, it’s okay. I will wait as long as you want me to.” 

After the second walnut calling, everything went smoothly. You were finally fully bare, and Evan was left in his boxers. 

“A-Are you okay for me to take these off?” you asked him, placing your hand on the band of his underwear. He nodded quickly, watching your every move. 

Carefully, you pulled the white cotton off of his pelvis. His length sprung out of his boxers, hitting his stomach. You looked at his newly exposed flesh, then back at his face. “You’re doing great, Ev. You really are,” you whispered to him. Slowly, you reached out your hand and stroked him once. 

“S-Stop, or I’ll-” he whimpered out. 

“Okay, okay,” you nodded, reaching over to grab the condom before he stopped you. You raised an eyebrow to give him a questioning look. 

“I-I want you to cum, too. And I... I won’t last that long,” he mumbled sheepishly. You smiled at his concern, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He was doing so well, and you really admired that he thought of you and your pleasure. 

“Is there any way to get you, um, closer before I... ya know...” he asked quietly. 

Nodding slowly, you guided his hand to your heat. You let him rub you in a repeatitive motion. Soon, Evan got the hang of things, letting you put your hand on his shoulder - rather than guiding him. His thumb found your most sensitive nub. 

“What does this do?” he asked in a whisper, lightly tapping it. 

You inhaled sharply. “That felt really good,” you admitted with an even bigger blush. 

 His continuous tapping brought you closer and closer to a high. You stopped him when you were almost at your breaking point.

“O-Okay, I’m ready,” you whispered up at him.

 Evan opened up the condom, rolling it on to himself. He looked at you once more for permission. You gave him a nod, smiling. Before he entered you, he whispered against your lips.

“I love you.”

 He slid into you, neither of you lasting more than 15 seconds. Evan hit his orgasm first, absolutely melting in your hands. His whole body shook. Then it was your turn, grappling your finger nails into the flesh on his spine.

-

Hedi came home around 10pm that night. You and Evan were cuddled on the couch, bones aching and hearts swelling. She opened the door with bags full of groceries.

“Aw, my two little lovebirds,” she mumbled. Putting down the grocery bags, she pulled out a plastic container. “Do you guys want some candied walnuts?”

Evan turned red.

[jejublr]

Super!Mingyu

A/N: Hi guys~ This is my first AU! This was inspired by posts by other amazing writers and prompts so I decided to make a bunch of them. This one is a mash between Best Friend!AU and Super!AU and is quite long so buckle up! Be sure to be on the lookout for upcoming Super!Seventeen posts and thank you for reading! Enjoy! :D

P.S. Many fart jokes. Mentions of gummy bears. 

 lmao ok where do we even start with this guy

You've basically known Mingyu from kindergarten

He's a pretty low key kid tbh, you never would've thought he's a super

So the story starts when one day, in kindergarten, in the middle of the finger painting class, you farted ya it's gross, get over it. Kids only eat, sleep poop and cry while farting inbetween.

So you’re kind of the silent-killer type of farter ok aka no sound but deadly

There's another kid in class who's infamous for having farting episodes 

So the whole class plus the teacher was like "ugh not again Kevin wstg we have enough of ur sh**" and are accusing him of this crime poor Kevin

Nobody suspected it was you ('sorry Kevin')

B U T  T H E N

You feel a tap on your shoulder and turned around to see this one kid with a bad haircut and trail of snot on his face

And you can't help but zone in until he said

"I know it's you"

Lol you’re f***ed.

Your know you gotta do something before he reports you to the teacher and you can’t have your entire kindergarten career and reputation just crumble into dust over a fart 

So what did you do?

"I'll share my gummy bears with you but you will n e v e r tell a soul"

"Ok" 

Well that was easy

Anyways

From that day on Snotty aka Kim Mingyu follows you around like a lost puppy and sits with you during snack time for the sake of gummy bears kid knows his priorities

Everytime you won’t share your candies with him, he blackmails you by threatening to tell the teacher that it was you who farted that One Faithful Day

You kinda regretted it now that you have to sacrifice your gummy bears but h e y, better than getting your reputation ruined and get called Ms. Fartsfor the rest of kindergarten amirite?

So fast forward to elementary school

Surprise surprise you're going to the same school as Mingyu 

He still follows you around btw

Also, you outgrew him so you call him Shorty now instead of Snotty

“How’s the air down there, Shorty?”

“Walk in traffic, Y/N”

Still asks for gummy bears during lunch period

Tbh it's getting annoying at this point bc whenever you whip up your lunch bag he'd go nuts

"Is that spaghetti I smell?”

“Bring your own lunch, Mingyu.”

But then it starts to happen every time

He'll know what you bring for lunch even before you unbox it

You're getting suspicious

Is he half dog or something? How does he even know?

And then things get weirder

So basically Mingyu becomes the class guard aka that kid that stands in front of the classroom when there's no teacher to inform the class when the teacher is coming

People starts complaining because Mingyu would come in and be like "The teacher's coming ! !" but there's nobody in the hallway?? so Mingyu pls explain???

"No I swear! She's coming!!!"

Ofc nobody believed him and the class was in utter chaos when the teacher finally came in

"Mingyu, how did you know?"

"I heard her walking" 

And you're like "lol what"

Anyways

He also becomes that annoying kid in class 

He'll say that the class is too hot/too cold when it's totally fine?? 

And when a teacher raises their voice he'd cover his ears

Also there was a time during a math test you and thought that you were going to ace the test because you're top in class at least in elementary school if you’re bad at it lmao but surprise surprise Mingyu aced it too

But later during the day he comes up to you and apologized and said that he copied your paper

And you're like ???? 

"Mingyu you sit two seats behind me how is that even possible???"

 He'll be the first to know when it's pizza day ("I can smell the pizza lol")

But brings his own lunch to school

Claims that the cafeteria food smells and tastes weird

he never eats the food from school bc he claims that it smells weird and because he’s a picky eater

But basically Mingyu is physically hypersensitive to everything and people think he's just whiny and annoying so the only friend he got is you

So you kinda took pity in him and you started to enjoy his company anyways so you let him hang around

 As long as he has his hand sanitizer with him at all times

 Fast fast forward to middle school 

Yayy time for puberty and hormones! fun fun fun 

Except it isn't fun

Puberty is as fun for supers as it is for normal teenagers

It’s terrible enough to suddenly have a bazillion of zits appearing on your formerly-smooth face

But the fact that Shorty had a major growth spurt over the summer and is basically a f***ing tree now 

“Who’s short now, Y/N?”

And brags about it every time he has the chance

It’s also around this time that Mingyu has been acting even stranger

He’s easily distracted by a background noise, even if others don’t seem to hear it

He’d jump right out of his seat whenever the bell rings or any loud noises really 

At one point, a teacher got so angry and started shouting and when you looked at Mingyu he’s cowering in his seat with his hands low key on his ears, wincing every time the teacher raised their voice

He also becomes more secluded

Leaves the classes right after the bell rings, decided to take his lunch to a more quieter place under a tree at the school yard, avoids group projects..

You’re really concerned for him although you’re a bit hurt that he seemed like he’s keeping something from you

So you decided to ask him one day

"Mingyu are you ok? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Hahaha w-what makes u say that" 

You gave him a pointed look and it's scary and he got reminded that time during elementary school you bit Sarah in the arm for cutting the queue

If that's what ppl get for cutting your queue then what would happen if you find out that he's different

He’s scared that the only person he’s been friends with for years would abandon him when they finally realize that he’s a freak

At that point of time, he just wishes that he could be like the other kids

But he also remembers that you've been there for him after all these times

You (kinda) tolerated all the times he sneezed in your hair 

“One more time, Mingyu and I will cut you.”

And the times he broke your toys after not realizing his own strength 

Also that dark time during elementary school when Danielle and her group of friends verbally bullied him for being “weird” and “different”

You stood up to them for him

You got yourself suspended and your parents called for punching the bullies in the face

That night you came to his house with a bag full of gummy bears and both of your favorite movies and you guys just hung out in his room

That when you said “Mingyu, I know you can’t even hurt a fly so if you need me to punch someone in the face I will”

Wow when did you become such a violent kid

But he knows it’s just your way of saying “I’ll always be there if you need me”

And honestly, you're already a knight in shining armor to him the second you broke Danielle Davis’s nose

So he decided to tell you

How he knows what you’ll have for lunch

Why he’s so distracted all the time

And why he’s such a sensitive kid

He has heightened senses

*silence ensues*

He can’t help but starts to sweat as you stare at him, unblinkingly 

He wanted to strangle you, to force you to talk, to just say something

And then you do

“Wait ok so in kindergarten, you knew it was me who farted because of your super senses?”

lol. ded.

He just looked at you disappointedly “Seriously, Y/N, that’s the first thing that pops into your mind?”

“Well I’m sorry I can’t help it. But really can you really tell who farts in class. Also I’m really sorry for you, dude, smelling farts in HD must’ve suck.”

Ok but you’re kinda offended and sad why he kept it away from you for such a long time but soon realizes that people are judgmental jerks who’d just label Mingyu as an outcast if they find out

But basically, Mingyu is super duper relieved that you’re totally cool with it and you guys moved on from it

Fast forward to high school

*Achievement Unlocked: You got an S/O*

It’s not Mingyu ok

You met your S/O the first day of high school

They’re really sweet and caring and overall a nice person

Mingyu was more skeptical and protective when you first started to date but took the backseat when he realized that you can take care of yourself (lol remember Sarah and Danielle?)

Cheers you on your relationship and becomes your confidante and go-to person to talk about your relationship

He doesn't mind at all.

He’s just happy that you’re happy what a cinnamon roll ;A;

Until one day he saw your s/o at the mall, hanging out with some girl he doesn’t recognize

They seemed pretty close and their arm would ever so often casually hangs on the girl’s shoulder

Mingyu’s general perception of your s/o has been good so far so although he was kinda surprised to see them hanging out with a girl that’s not you, he just thought that she might be their close friend or a family member or something so he brushed it off

He checked with his superhuman hearing and it’s not like they’re talking about anything suspicious or anything

But Mingyu being Mingyu, he was curious and wanted to look out over you

So he figured, if your s/o was up to no good, he’d have to find out himself

So he began to stalk investigate your s/o

You kinda picked up and would jokingly said “Don’t you dare steal them from me” and he’ll be like “No, no its not like that!” (lmao also he wouldn't dare ofc)

But then Mingyu found out that your s/o has in fact, been cheating behind your back with a girl from school

He’s so surprised and more importantly, enraged that they would even do that to you

What have you ever done to deserve such trash of an s/o??? You deserved to be served and taken care of like royalty

That evening he went to your house to break the news to you

“Y/N, I have something to tell you”

You don’t believe him. You don't want to believe him.

Your s/o has been such a caring and thoughtful person. They wouldn’t do that to you right?? 

So you do what you thought was right.

You got angry and told Mingyu that he was just being jealous, that he’s just mad that you now hang out with someone else. You told him to make some friends so he can get over it.

Mingyu got even angrier over the fact that you chose to defend your s/o and is hurt that you wouldn’t believe him, your best friend

But at that exact moment he also had an epiphany

He was jealous

He was sad that you now have someone else to hang out with

He was sad over the fact that you might drift away after all these years

He also realized that he cares so much about you

So so much that maybe it’s not the friendly kind of caring anymore

He realized that after all this time, he might be in love with his best friend

But he’s so angry so he decided to storm off and have you find out yourself, knowing how stubborn you can be

You don’t talk for the next few weeks 

He decided to avoid you completely and would change seats if you’re in the same class as him. He wouldn’t even spare you a glance in the hallways

You sit alone at lunch, with nobody to eat your gummy bears

This is the first time you guys had a fight this big

One day, during class, you decided you had enough and you made a mad dash out of the classroom to find Mingyu and tell him you were sorry (Teacher: kids these days smh.)

Otw there, you passed the janitor’s closet and heard some noise

You decided to be a snitch and took a peek

And there they were, your s/o and a girl, making out in the small cramped space, unaware that you're watching

At that moment, all you can feel is your heartbreaking

You feel tears well up in your eyes, your body grows rigid and cold

You felt so so betrayed and lost that you don't even have the energy to barge up to them and beat them yourselves

So you took a detour to the nurse’s office, your mission long forgotten

You laid down on a cot for a good half-an-hour before you heard the curtain being opened and at first you thought it was the nurse who decided to kick you out but then you felt a large hand brushing the top of your head ever so gently

And by God, nobody was allowed to do that to you except for

“Y//N, I came as soon as class is over, are you feeling ok?”

You looked up and there he was, looking at you with concern and yet with the softest face

And it felt so sincere that you broke down completely in front of him

He just held you as you cried into his shirt, blabbering nonsense and being a snotty mess

When you were much better, you told him what happened

And then he had a look in his eyes

He kissed your forehead and just left 

You’re confused because Mingyu?? what are you doing m8???

You didn't heard from him until later in the afternoon

He got suspended

For punching your s/o smack in the face

You didn’t know what to do. Should you thank him??? be concerned???

Since when did he become so violent?

lmao he learned from you

But later in the evening, you came to his house, a bag of gummy bears in one hand and your favorite movies in the other

Neither of you said anything at first. You didn't need to.

You both just climbed up his bed and started eating and watching the movies

Halfway through the movie, you glanced up at him

“Thank you”

He didn't take his eyes off the screen “He deserved it. Should’ve know what was coming for him.”

You’re not satisfied so you sat up and took his face in your hands and his eyes finally finally met yours

And oh how lovely you looked in you sweatpants and oversized t-shirt, and yeah looking up kinda hurts his eyes because of the light but it’s casting a soft halo around you and when he met your gaze, it’s fierce and determined

Your eyes are still a bit red and puffy from all the crying earlier but to him, at this very moment, you're perfect.

You said “I’m sorry for not listening to you. I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I’m sorry for saying those hurtful things to you-”

But he cuts you off, his lips ascending onto yours into slow searing kiss

You lost your train of thoughts and while you thought that he’s the one with the heightened senses here, at that very moment it’s as if you had it too

Everything felt so warm and you don’t even know whether it’s from the close proximity, your body heat or the room. Your heart went overdrive and you're scared that he might hear it He totally could

But most of all, it felt right

You know maybe you should’ve been aghast or the very least, disgusted, that you’re actually kissing your own best friend but it doesn’t feel like that with Mingyu

You can feel all his emotions in that one kiss and nothing ever felt so sincere and so warm

You didn't know but at that very moment, Mingyu was experiencing the exact things, although everything is thrice more intense

After what felt like an eternity, he finally pulled away and there you are, gazing into each others eyes, breathing fast, cheeks flushed

“I’m sorry I did that.. and no! before you kill me, you’re just the most beautiful person I’ve ever met and you deserve someone who can see that and appreciate you and take care of you with all his hea-” he said before you pulled him up for another kiss

“I love you, too, you giant idiot.”

And at that very moment, you realize that after all, you might been in love with him

You remembered the kid with the weird haircut and snotty nose who caught you farting back in kindergarten and thought: “Who would’ve thought?

[anonymous-scapegoat]

14, 21, 28, 29, 41, 49, 51, 55, 58, 60, 66, 81, 86, 91

this got rly long ^^”

14. if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

i like this question a lot it makes me happy ^^ it’d be warm and a little messy, as many windows as we could get, lots of plants just all over the place i think, and books everywhere ^^” not pretty necessarily, but it’d feel like home - instruments and art supplies somewhere or everywhere or something in between, lotsa blankets, i feel like there wld be a lot of granola bars lol. i’m not sure what city it’d be in ! wherever we ended up ^_^ 

21. talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces

ngl i have a super rough track record with bags - they break or they get to be too small or what have u… but my first xc bag i’ve had for 4 yrs now and i love the thing - its falling apart and stained and fraying but it’s been through a lot so i understand ^^ its really big and perfect

28. sunrise or sunset?

sunset!! there’s more going on there i think ^_^

29. what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

ahhh this is fun i’m gonna talk for y e a r s anyway ur getting more than one friend - simona gets really excited abt things and i love the way she types, like when she texts its just very “!!!!” and i lov it, alex calls everyone “kiddo” which i think is such a neat lil thing, gabs calls people “nuggets” a lot which is !! and also the way they get so excited for other ppl is way *heart eyes*, isabelle used 2 carry around a blow-up alien in her car and ik she doesn’t anymore but she still owns it and i just always found that, i mean funny obvs, but also just?? a cute lil isabelle thing, kristen gets so !!!! abt hockey its so fun to watch i lov her, faith has this little dance move thing that she does w her fingers that idk how 2 describe but its so !!!!, and tori always says “ily” like phonetically which is a Her Thing that i’ve picked up on and i love, morgan has this tone of voice she uses when we’re doing Stuff We Shouldn’t Be and im p sure it’ll b the way my conscience sounds inside my head for the rest of forever, and the way kelly talks is my fav thing in the World like her intonation and her word choice and??? idk how 2 explain Why but i love it i love her, n lydia has So Many Quirks and her genuine excitement abt like,,,,, Everything, is just !!!, and gabby takes pictures of all of us and of everything like All the time and i Love, and ANYWAY this got SUPER LONG it is NOT MY FAULT that i’m a LITTLE BIT IN LOVE WITH ALL OF MY FRIENDS SORRY

41. what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

right now i’m reading dragonwatch? and i’m just cryin there’s so much Nostalgia™ and i’m so excited i love

49. do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i don’t buy CDs so much for a couple reasons, 1 being that i don’t rly have a reason to and 2 being that i do buy a lot of records!! and my player has a converter so i can make CDs out of whatever records i buy ^^ the last record i got was !! sometimes i sit and think and sometimes i just sit by courtney barnett ^_^ 

51. think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

gabby, “i wear glasses” by mating ritual and “without you” by oh wonder ^_^

55. what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

i wish i were a more dramatic person tbh, the only thing i can think of rn is that i wore hats like Nonstop after getting my hair cut short bc my mom told me i wouldn’t look good in hats if i cut it ^^” 

58. who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? 

i don’t know why i would assign wine mom to morgan but i feel like i should, it’s just a //vibe// idk idk - and as far as vodka aunt, who knows man

60. do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

love !!! most things by clementine von radics and rhiannon mcgavin, specifically “art class” by rhiannon mcgavin (it makes me cry i’m so), i like imagism a lot bc i like 2 be able 2 taste my poetry, almost anything by gabs and simona… words are so good!!!

66. what would your ideal flower crown look like?

this is so cute um… i love orchids a lot but idk if they?? ok i googled it there are flower crowns with orchids in them and they’re beautiful1!!!! those 100% ^_^ but w/e it is, smth mellow and minimal, i’m not abt anything super Busy

81. describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of

a deep breath in the middle of your favorite hiking trail, the dead of summer. humid, earthy, each breath cuts through the air like pine needles do, yknow? staring into the flat clear surface of the lake your family has fished in for years, sunnies darting out from under the rocks, grass prickling between your fingertips as you lean forward for a better look, knowing that if you dipped a finger in the water it would be warm, too. springy like the grass you find at the farms a couple miles out, springy like the way a fishing pole feels when you’ve got a bite, springy like bare feet in fresh mud the first time it’s been warm enough to take your shoes off all season. anywho ! 

86. do you like concept albums? which ones?

ngl i think the only concept album i’ve ever listened to has been crybaby by melanie martinez, which i liked and i own ^^ other than that?? idk? i mean gabs n i r writing a concept album so i feel obligated to like them lolol

91. where do you plan on traveling this year?

ireland and london on a school trip ^_^ and yknow anywhere else i get the opportunity 2 go ! 

tysm for asking!!!