#Allison grieving her daughter and basically going through it

[thehargreevesfam]

Does anyone have any predictions for s4?? I tried to think of some but I’m coming up completely blank

[absentfather]

Allison’s anger was valid this season (Except for the Luther scene) as she has basically lost her husband and her daughter all in the same day/week while having no time to grieve for her loss but is no one going to talk about how she killed Harlan, a man who Viktor kinda viewed as his son and was Viktor’s only link back to Sissy because she was going through pain of losing her family, only to do the exact same thing to Viktor. I hope Harlan or Sissy are brought back in some way because honestly, I think it would have made much more sense if it had been Reginald who had killed their mothers rather than Harlan as he was the one who adopted different kids after meeting them in the 1960′s and who knows what type of connections he has.

[toongrrl-blog]

Body Image 2021 in the Media

We should all feel like Joan when we look in the mirror...

Okay so onetime I read this article and I thought: “Lovely lovely, but there is something about it that is bugging me...” Then it hit me that the representation wasn’t diverse in that article and I know 2021 had media depictions that would expand the conversation regarding body image. 

So here are my picks:

1. Never Have I Ever (Season 2)

It wasn’t the best decision Devi made when she blurted out that the new girl (and her fellow comrade as being the token Indian girls at their school) Aneesa, is recovering from an eating disorder that she picked up while at a all-girl’s prep school where she was the only Brown girl (and only Muslim at that) where she was ignored except when receiving positive feedback about her slim figure, thus triggering her disorder. 

Sadly WOC often are overlooked when eating disorders are discussed, in favor of privileged white girls (thin ones at that), and recovery is often presented as accessible and overnight. But Aneesa shows that even the most together person could be struggling with something and given how little her bites are, her ED habits don’t disappear overnight. It’s also important to note that Aneesa picked up her disorder in a high-stress (especially in academics), upper class environment where racism was in the air. Aneesa felt the pressure to fit in, her body was the only thing that gained some semblance of approval from her white peers, it made sense that she was determined not to lose it. 

That said: the series does a good job putting women of color (and their experiences) front and center. From the Indian American Devi (a flawed and relatable character played by newcomer Maitreyi Ramikrishnan), her Afro-Latina friend Fabiola (who refutes the Sassy Black Woman stereotype with her quiet nature and holds STEM interests and explores her lesbian identity), Chinese American Eleanor (who is loud, dramatic, loving, and bold in her presentation), the Indian American Aneesa (outwardly confident and easy-going), Devi’s grieving and strong-willed mother Nalini, and Kamala (Devi’s “perfect” cousin who starts to push back against the expectations put on her as a South Asian woman from both her family and her professors). 

2. Why Women Kill (Season 2)

Classism, Ableism, Fatphobia, Social Totem Poles, Prejudice. These issues are at the core of the characters who struggle with self-image or desirability in the second season of this (highly underrated) anthology series of the dramedy from Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry. The story centers on the seemingly meek and hapless “frump” Alma Fillcott (played by a drabed down Allison Tollman) who envies and wants to join the garden club presided over by the beautiful trophy wife Rita Castillo (Lana Parilla who ATE this role); Alma deals with a lot of slights her direction due to her appearance, despite the love of a devoted husband and a daughter (Dee, who is heavier than her mother and more fashionable and prettied up) while Rita deals with an elderly and abusive husband (who refuses to die) that throws her former life as a sex worker in her face. We learn that Alma was cheated on by her high school boyfriend at senior prom for a thinner and more glamorous girl, Detective Vern (Rita’s detective and Dee’s eventual husband) dealt with being dumped after a disfiguring injury he gotten in World War II (did I mention this story was set in 1949?), Dee puts up with men who only see her in secret due to her weight, and Rita came from a poor family that was regarded as dirt by members of the community she grew up in and ended up in a physically abusive marriage until her cousin shot the guy (sadly turned out to be still alive) before being in her current one. Through the Garden Club, we see how social privilege and prejudice can be weaponized to climb up on the necks of other members (basically hierarchies are very predatory). 

3. The Baby-Sitters’ Club (Season 2)

Back when the original book series came out in 1985, Stacey McGill made history as a character with a chronic health condition/disability (Diabetes) whose character wasn’t defined by her illness. She was glamorous for girls her age, sophisticated and somewhat mature, she was pretty as a model, boys liked her (currency in middle school), the kids she babysat adored her, she had well-coiffed and fashionable blonde hair, she was super good at math; she was proof that a person with a chronic condition/disability could be relatable, natch, even aspirational. 

The sadly now defunct Netflix series updates the story and goes further, with Stacey; showcasing how social media and the shame projected upon by a parent can hurt a child. Instead of pricking her fingers, Stacey has a insulin pump that her Mother (at first) wants her to conceal, therefore making the girl feel she needs to be ashamed of her appearance and while she was harassed at her old school for fainting at lunch and missing school and wetting the bed at a sleepover, Stacey had a seizure in the lunchroom that was filmed by a classmate. Therefore Stacey endured her shame going viral online (this goes hand in hand with Monica Lewinsky’s story as she details in 15 Minutes of Shame and in our last entry of this post) and after moving to Connecticut, has to revisit it there too where parental skepticism (unconscious ableism) even forces her and her friends to defend her competence and skill as a babysitter. That same season also sees Stacey live life as usual, being boy-crazy and babysitting her charges before she confronts one of her former tormentors at summer camp, gifting some catharsis despite the result of poison ivy.

Season Two sees Stacey with bickering parents and struggling to reconcile her image of a young person positively managing her condition with the ambivalence she feels about her disability, especially when she tells a friend (a talented ballerina) that she envies the girl’s body for being able to make these elaborate and demanding movements while Stacey has to work hard to make sure her body functions regularly. 

Stacey’s storyline showcases a disabled character who is a full person in her own right, with the important caveat that if you can’t reach body positivity, body neutrality is just as sufficient. 

4. Encanto.

I have problems with this movie and many of it’s characters; that said, lets get into the good, the bad (well how it depicts the bad with some awareness), and the not really “unspecial” on what this film says about body image. 

Good: FIrst, the family and the villagers showcase a mixture of skin colors, body types, sizes, shapes, heights, hair textures without depicting one or the other as worse or better; facial features are brought into the mix with the large noses of Abuela Alma, Pepa, Bruno, and Isabella, Indigenous and African and Mestizo and European features are in the mix, Mirabel is a young woman with a short-ish, “average” body type with a wide nose and curly hair while older sister Luisa is depicted as muscular and feminine.

The Depiction of the Bad: The film depicts (subtly) how beauty ideals can poison family relations, especially who is the most pressured or ignored. Abuela Alma ignores/disrespects her average-build and regular-cute with wide nose and curly hair and bespectacled Mirabel while forcing the muscular and large Luisa to be a workhorse and Dolores to be used as a snitch despite being as pretty and slender as Isabella with her long, straight/wavy hair. Let’s not get into how Mirabel’s lack of powers can be an allegory for disability, something that society has used as an excuse to dehumanize and see as “surplus”, and sadly an attitude that hasn’t gone away (environmental fascism and straws). I also wanna look at how Luisa’s body marks her as a workhorse who gets no rest or relaxation (not even on her cousin’s ceremony or sister’s engagement dinner) by her grandmother and that raggedy ass village while Isabella gets to be the ornament and how Isa getting her “imperfect” white blossoms plucked by Abuela after she stresses out stands in for the many times that women, like myself, could be doing or talking about anything but the focus is still on our looks rather than our substance. 

Not Really “Unspecial”: The film points out, like The Breakfast Club did 36 years before, it’s a grave mistake to reduce people to “the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions”. Luisa is more than the muscle, she is a sensitive and loving person who needs a rest; Mirabel lacks magic powers but she is a loving and devoted girl (too devoted, I say) with talents in parkour and fashion design; Isabella is more than the beauty queen, but is a creative agriculturalist; and Bruno is a loving man who keeps it real and a creative who acts out plays with his rats. 

5. Spencer.

A jarring and beautifully creative look at a woman struggling with her eating disorder and her dying marriage under the weight of in-laws who don’t respect her boundaries and see her as just a ornamental broodmare. We see Princess Diana in the final days of her marriage as she experiences the Christmas Holiday at Sandrigham where the family is ceremonily weighed before and after the festivities, the movie left me breathless, like texts I read for Women’s Studies classes in college and plus we need more car scenes like this in the cinema again. 

6. American Crime Story: Impeachment.

Monica Lewinsky is my dream wifey. She is also someone who dealt with having her sexuality and body bashed and demeaned in the media either as a grotesque for her fluctuating voluptuous figure (this was the age of heroin chic) or as a girl with more looks and breasts than brains or a venomous femme fatale. 

Monica’s struggle can be tied to the trope of The Bombshell, who is either adulated for her beauty (like Bill Clinton and Linda Tripp did when meeting her) or treated like an animal for her sexuality (the media fallout and how her ex lover and ex friend betrayed her); like I feel so angry for Monica to the point I wanna fight Bill, Linda, Ken Starr, David Letterman, and Jay Leno. Like I am mad that Monica, young and gorgeous and educated was raked over the coals so hard. Like people acted like she wasn’t it, then again those folks thought Hillary wasn’t hot enough for Bill (NEWSFLASH: From what I saw some Gen Z thought young Hillary looked like Sabrina Carpenter, who is Disney Star pretty, while Bill is meh in presentation); how could they see Monica with that broad, gleaming smile, those soft cheeks, the babylike skin, the long and thick shiny hair that was the hottest thing to have in the 90s, the square jawline that made Brooke Shields launch a standard of beauty that lasted more than a decade, the full lush lips that no amount of collagen injections could replicate, the green eyes with the dark lashes, symmetrical face that fit most Western standards of beauty, and the curvaceous figure with breasts and hips and everything....but she was made to feel bad about those features because she grew up in Beverly Hills where (as Mo’Nique said) they prefer knitting needles with boob jobs to hourglasses and pears. Let’s not get into how every woman in Bill Clinton’s orbit was look shamed in the media: maybe his Momma, Hillary, Chelsea, Betty Currie (like Linda was portrayed in drag on SNL, but funny we don’t get much shine on that), Monica, Paula Jones (despite being one half of Ugly Guy, Hot Wife, was shamed into a nose job), Linda Tripp (hack hack hack), Janet Reno. 

As an aside, as much as I loathe the late Linda Tripp (my TikTok could be considered a Linda Tripp Hate account), the mocking of her looks skewed as fatphobic and transmisogynistic. We can talk about what a shitty person she was and make fun of her without throwing marginalized people under the bus, people. Plus she is a look at how the Plain Jane type can have the potential of churning her bitterness over rejection into directing it at other women, especially prettier women. Hurt people, hurt people and I believe that Linda was a Karen of the highest order, a lady in waiting to Carolyn Bryant and a DUFF to Yolanda Salvidar with Phyllis Schlafly’s raggedy weave. 

I was a kid then and I wondered what pretty Monica, who looked like a movie star had to do with the President. Good thing I didn’t know how bad it was, would’ve made me wanna die. I’m so happy she is telling her story, which is why we are all here today.

Now I think we need to end this post with this bop to carry out your day

[shockdowndefiance]

1, 7 and 11 for Allison Shepard and her preferred love interest?

Answering from this post here. Not specified which sections so I'm going to do one question from the top 3.

This is for Allison Shepard and Kaidan Alenko

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

In a Systems Alliance base in Jacksonville, FL, where Kaidan and Joker were joking/veering on mocking who their new XO would be, when Kaidan notices a Staff Lieutenant* in fatigues and with a sea bag over her shoulder. He doesn't think much of it - this is an Alliance base (one of the busiest on Earth, up there with Vancouver, Shanghai etc.) and being his polite self he asks her if he can help her with anything.

Allison doesn't say anything for a moment, eyeing him up, then Joker, then the ship, then back to Kaidan. As soon as she starts to speak all the pieces fall into place and he instantly recognises her the moment she says "Staff Lieutenant Allison Shepard. I believe I'm your XO."

* Yeah I got fed up with the ranks as they are in game/canon, so I made my own system. Shepard is a Staff Lieutenant, Kaidan is a Lieutenant, Ashley is a Gunnery Sergeant as of ME1

GENERAL

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

Allison. No question about it. It's not that she's necessarily the more forward or outgoing of the two, but being a War Hero (and before that, daughter of a First Contact War veteran) she's more than used to plastering on a smile, making casual small-talk, and lending an ear to someone for one task or another, but always making sure to never promise anything completely.

As of ME1 Allison's been in the limelight for near-on seven years, received invites to multiple high class events (and when a tour of hers accidentally or accidentally overlaps, oh I'm so sorry I would have loved to come but duty calls) and is basically the Alliance's biotic, N7, and later Spectre poster child.

Kaidan is definitely the more withdrawn of the two, though he opens up enough around close friends and maybe a little alcohol in the mix. When he and Allison are out about their relationship, I imagine that he is quite affectionate in parties, always wanting to be by her and touching in some way (hand on elbow, holding hands, knees touching).

LOVE

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

Hoo boy. I have a playlist of 88 songs, totaling almost 6hrs. This does cover the entirety of Allison Shepard's story up to (and a bit beyond the Reaper War) so not all of them are romantically linked. Of the ones that are, these are my favourite/tell the story in the best way:

Mass Effect 1:

Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love - more for the melody and the title than the lyrics themselves. Allison is a Spacer, so there's a bit of romanticism around stars, the galaxy etc. around their relationship.

Sixx A.M. - Starts (Explicit Lyrics) - "Do you wanna go to heaven tonight...Do you wanna be my lover tonight...Do you want to see the stars before they fall". The romance scene between Shepard and Kaidan on the way to Ilos. Again a cosmic-linked song but the moment I heard this it became the Shenko song for me. Remember this one

Black Stone Cherry - Remember Me & Johnny Cash - Hurt - "Today was a hard day, I still can't believe that all of this is true...When I am gone, will you stay strong, don't cry, this is not a dream. When heaven calls, and stars they fall, believe, will you remember me?" & "What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know, goes away in the end"

AKA the ooof ow my heart songs. Needless to say this is after the destruction of the Normandy SR-1, both from Kaidan's viewpoint. The relationship between the two of them wasn't expressed, so while Allison's family can grieve and mourn in public, Kaidan cannot - and even to a point where he can't be that upset over his CO, can he?

Mass Effect 2:

Shinedown - If Only You Knew - "If you only knew, I'm hanging by a thread, the web I spin for you. If you only knew, I'd sacrifice my beating heart before I'd lose you." This is Allison post-Horizon, when things are heavy. She's pulled her head above water somewhat, but Horizon pulls her back down.

Shinedown - Through The Ghost - "Speak of the devil, look who just walked into the room, the guilted and faded notion of someone I once knew. All the perfect moments are gone, all the precious pieces are wrong." This was originally an ME3 song (Vancouver) but story-wise this now places at the end of ME2, when Allison is heading off to Aratoht. Hackett sends along Kaidan and this echoes her feelings when she sees him.

Mass Effect 3:

Sixx A.M. - Stars (Cinematic) - I told you to remember this one. In any official soundtrack this would be a reprise, the same song but in a more mournful way. Allison and Kaidan are now officially together, and while the spark of what was back on the ME1 is still there, the galaxy being at risk puts a damper on their ability to take time and enjoy being with each other.

Florence + The Machine - Bedroom Hymns - pure romance scenes song. Nothing else to add. Smutty lyrics.

Conchita Wurst - Heroes - "So let the walls come down and the colours light up the sky. We could be heroes, we could be heroes, tonight. Where the hearts break loose and love is like a battlecry, we could be heroes, we could be heroes, tonight".

This one takes a bit of explanation. On the approach to Earth for the final assault, in the small hours of the morning, a thought pops into Kaidan's head. He turns to Allison and simply says "Let's get married." Allison half-laughs but goes "Sure. When?" and 30mins later they're in the shuttle bay, wedding officiated by Joker.

This song (or at least the chorus) is what I imagine whenever I think of that scene. Allison and Kaidan do quick vows, exchange simple fabricated rings, and prepare for the assault. Their wedding day, not that they know it at the time, is also the day the Reaper War ends.

And Beyond...

Black Stone Cherry - Sometimes - "Couldn't we pretend that I'm fine, and this ain't my life. It's not the way it ends for me. Couldn't we pretend, you're not gone, you're still here, it's not true. It's not the way it ends for you.". I spent so long swapping this and Remember Me (in the ME1 section) around and I think I am happy with their placement.

The Reaper War is over. Casualties are many. Allison Shepard is in the hospital, in a medically induced coma, with multiple injuries. The Normandy and her human crew are reported as MIA with no one knowing their status.

This song is, in my mind, a duet sung between Allison and Kaidan, Allison on Earth and Kaidan who-knows-where in the galaxy. They both believe the other dead, and this is them both wishing that this is not the case, that maybe the other can find a way back to them.

In short, another ooof ow my heart song

Skylar Grey - I'm Coming Home Pt. II - I'm sure this is on a lot of people's lists. The Normandy systems are functioning, they're going to make it to Earth, and Kaidan finally gets in contact with the Alliance in London. He discusses what happens with the brass, and turns his head and hides a sigh when yet another higher up is introduced to him.

"Alenko. Good to see you again."

"Allison?!" His eyes snap back front and centre. She's alive, standing in front of him in the QEC. It's a hologram, but it's her. She's alive, on Earth. They made it. Both of them.

And the blood will dry Underneath my nails And the wind will rise up To fill my sails So you can down and you can hate But i know no matter what it takes I'm coming home, I'm coming home Tell the world that I'm coming home

❤️

[singofsolace]

Miranda Otto’s Filmography as seen through a specific lens

otherwise known as: I watched some of these things so you don’t have to. But more specifically, I want to share basic information about which of her films and tv series require trigger warnings. Honestly, I’ve never recovered from some of them (thinking about In Her Skin... but also Homeland... because what the actual fuck, Saul?)

This isn’t a complete list. It’s only 21 of over 60 credits Miranda has to her name, but I think these are probably some of her most famous roles. Please let me know what you think of these brief descriptions, and whether anything should be added or removed.

It should go without saying that there are spoilers below. Read at your own risk.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina:  Zelda Spellman

A powerful role, but be aware Zelda is abused, raped (implied), and violently murdered (twice)

Downhill: Charlotte

I love this woman with all my heart, okay? Miranda Otto is supposed to be playing the most heterosexual woman ever, and instead manages to make every single scene gay as fuck.

The Silence: Kelly Andrews

Gets her leg mutilated (also it’s implied that she and Kiernan’s character would be made sex slaves by this random cult that shows up... which is super tasteful and not at all disgusting)

Annabelle: Creation: Esther Mullins

Face mutilated, eventually murdered (I think? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this one)

24: Legacy: Rebecca Ingram

Powerful woman kidnapped, tortured, and violently murdered

Homeland: Allison Carr

Powerful woman violently attacked by her former lover in full view of her coworkers. Riddled with bullets while she is curled in a trunk.

The Daughter: Charlotte

I’ve made a whole post about how I think Charlotte was raped by her employer, and that it therefore shouldn’t be framed as a sexy affair… but here we are.

I, Frankenstein: Leonore

Powerful woman kidnapped and used as a bargaining chip. I’ve also made a post about this one, and how Miranda Otto claims this part could have been played by a man, but the blatant sexism around the kidnap and ransom—making a woman who is the leader of warriors powerless to fight back against her attackers, and having her rescued in a way that frames her as a damsel in distress (complete with bridal carry)—makes me believe that Miss Otto doesn’t notice just how much sexism was written into the role.

Reaching for the Moon: Elizabeth Bishop

While as a whole, this movie is beautiful and wonderful and one of my all-time favorites, we need to still acknowledge that Lota and Elizabeth were in an incredibly toxic relationship—which I actually think is great representation, because abuse doesn’t just happen between a husband and a wife, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend, it can happen to anyone with any partner.

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: Lydia Andrews

I unapologetically adore Miranda in this one. She is so convincing as the grieving widow that the plot twist caught me completely by surprise. This is perhaps the only role that I’ve seen Miranda play where a bad woman was brought to justice, but in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with her gender. Justice was neutral and exacted without prejudice, in this case.

In Her Skin: Mrs. Barber

This is one of the most upsetting and disturbing films I’ve ever seen. Miranda Otto is brilliant in it, but playing the role of a mother whose daughter went missing (and then was brutally murdered) definitely took its toll. I will never understand why the movie released an interview during which Miranda was clearly distraught. She breaks down into tears multiple times just trying to talk about this movie (which was a real-life murder case).

Cashmere Mafia (TV Series): Juliet Draper

Okay, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Juliet Draper. I would cherish her and dote on her for the rest of her life if she were my wife. But in the actual show, her husband is a serial cheater. When her friends find out about it, they don’t judge her broken marriage, but they do give her the courage she needs to leave him. They tell her she deserves more—and she does!! But in the final episode there is a pretty disturbing plot about a multi-millionaire who wants to buy not only her Hotel company but also her… which is exactly as bad as it sounds.

War of the Worlds: Mary Ann

Miranda Otto is heavily pregnant and glowing in a grand total of five minutes of this movie, but oh, what wonderful five minutes!!

The Lord of the Rings: Eowyn

This is the role for which Miranda is most famous. I have nothing bad to say about Eowyn, except that she ought to have been given more screen time, and that there shouldn’t have been that creepy plot about the King’s advisor or whoever wanting to have sex with her. It was incredibly unnecessary and frames Eowyn as a potential victim in the beginning, which was completely unnecessary in terms of character/plot development. 

Danny Deckchair: Glenda Lake

Glenda Lake is a precious cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Please for the love of Otto watch this film for baby Miranda in a sweet romantic comedy.

Julie Walking Home: Julie Makowsky

I don’t understand this film at all. It has one of the most absurd plots I’ve ever seen. Miranda’s husband/partner cheats on her and gets caught, and then he gets violent (in front of her children and multiple adult witnesses!!), and then their son gets cancer, and then she goes to Poland, and then a Healer tries to cure her son, and it works for a while, and eventually Julie (Miranda) has sex with the Healer, in order to teach him how to have sex? and then she gets pregnant by this man, and then her son’s cancer comes back, and then the Healer runs for the hills, and then her former partner takes her back so that they can all be a family again....?!?!?!?!

Human Nature: Gabrielle

This film made Miranda popular with a lot of creepy old men (okay maybe just Bruno Barreto based on this interview… (seriously I am so uncomfortable with the way he’s like… oh yes, I knew her from that film... and then later *places his hand on her bare knee/thigh* Lowell doesn’t give a shit about (Elizabeth/Miranda) being awkward! 

(the implication being that Lowell is only interested in getting Elizabeth into his bed...)

anyway… she plays a sexy French scientist, who isn’t actually French. There’s lots of lingerie, dancing, and kissing.

The Jack Bull (TV Movie) Cora Redding

Miranda Otto dies an incredibly violent death in period costume for no apparent reason besides generating male pain.

Dead Letter Office: Alice Walsh

Young!Miranda is so cute in this, but there’s a sort of ambiguously creepy older man-younger woman relationship… because Alice (Miranda) is looking for a father figure… and anyway I don’t remember this film well enough to comment more specifically, but I remember it being lovely except for the age difference between Alice and the guy in charge of the missing letters.

Doing Time for Patsy Cline: Patsy

I watched this purely for Miranda, and I do think it’s good, but only her part in it. Miranda plays the “busty bimbo with a heart” incredibly well. I remember being scared for her character, because her husband was a mean drunk/drug addict, but I don’t think any actual violence gets portrayed… but someone who has watched this more recently can correct me if I’m wrong.

Sex is a Four Letter Word

I only made it through half of this film before I turned it off. I wouldn’t watch it unless you’ve ingested/inhaled some substances and don’t mind people monologuing about their terrible sex experiences. 

...

Let me know if you’d like to know more about any of these films!

[itsjustaphase-mom]

Queer Eye: Umbrella Academy Edition

so the phrase “Luther on Queer Eye” came to me and I freaked out and uh yeah this happened... i basically wrote up how the Fab Five would help the Hargreeves siblings (its under the cut cuz it’s l o n g) (also Karamo signs them all up for therapy i didnt write that for each one because they all need it so bad) (oh also warning i dont know shit about anything these men are experts in so constructive criticism is appreciated thx xo)

Luther

Tan- surprisingly, Luther doesn’t seem to have any issue finding well fitted clothes, so Tan would probably just work on style- add some colour and prints, teach him how to make his torso look a bit smaller with the cut of his clothes and stuff like that

Antoni- big man need big food...find recipes that satisfy the monkey body??

Jonathan- Help that man deal with his monkey body!! shaving is an option buddy

Karamo- help him get over his leader complex and ALSO i was thinking about the fact that he doesnt realize how bad his siblings (namely klaus and vanya) were abused?? and that’s why he’s always brushing them off like that because he thinks his experience matches theirs even though he had superstrength and was their dad’s favourite...he just never stopped to consider that  they had it so much worse so fill him in karamo plz

Bobby-He needs space, he’s a big man. Bobby’d be able to hook him up with stuff that was big enough to help him feel normal sized again (and also they’d hopefully help him find an apartment because he doesn’t need to live in that house)

Diego

Tan-he needs some colour in his life... also imagine Tan finding outfits that can hide his knives better that just sounds hilarious

Antoni-please antoni this man ate a raw egg....help him

Jonathan- He has some scars on his face but they make him look cool (and I think he feels that way too) so Jonny could give him tips to cover em but i dont really think he’d want em...he’d probably just tell him to moisturize

Karamo-help him grieve Patch, he barely got a chance to with all the apocalypse nonsense

Bobby- he’d make Diego’s place look cool and edgy but also be hella functional it would look so cool

Allison

Tan-she’s absolutely gorgeous and all of her outfits are stunning and honestly he has his work cut out for him with the next one so it’s his day off

Antoni- he’d teach her how to make some real good stuff that she can teach Claire how to make!! it’d be so cute!!! Maybe Claire would join em!!!! guys!!!!!!

Jonathan-give her the haircut that Emmy has please for the sake of the gays i am begging you

Karamo-he’d help her get her daughter back (i know that’s out of his paygrade but shhh) and teach her parenting techniques to use instead of her powers

Bobby- he’d make her a chic, childproof home and it’d be the best

Klaus

Tan-fashion is a spectrum that ranges from Klaus to that guy in season one (?) that said his style icon was Frasier... Tan would be simultaniously LIVING for Klaus’ outfits from a proud gay dad perspective and appalled by the things he wore...he’d find a balance that was very gay but more befitting a 30 year old man (would Klaus actually wear it? probably not. he’d diy that shit and the look on tan’s face would be priceless oh my gosh im crying at the concept yknow the end when they all sit down and watch their routine? Klaus would go through his closet and look directly into the camera, holding up the “new and improved” clothes while tan just loses his mind)

Antoni- teach him how to make easy, good food. He needs some quick, simple, healthy recipes for when he’s not feeling it okay wait now im thinking about klaus getting addicted to cooking as a way to occupy himself when he gets too close to relapsing and guys guys guys we have a CONCEPT here oh boy i might have to do smth with that

Jonathan- honestly he’s pretty good? Probably a haircut and also GIVE HIM ROB’S NATURAL CURLY HAIR

Karamo-help him get sober. and help him learn that he can be more vulnerable, he doesnt have to laugh off everything. He doesnt have to hide everything. he needs to get help sometimes. also get him to do yoga because i feel like he’d love that for some reason??? idk the idea just popped into my head and i think he’d be a big fan

Bobby-give him a place that’s functional and neat, but with his sense of style. Quirky and artsy. Very easy to clean and keep organised, because his stuff is in such a state of disarray.

Five

Tan-just like.... go buy clothes that aren’t your old school uniform? Something that is befitting of a 58 year old man but doesn’t look too off on a 13 year old’s body... I feel like Tan and Five would be bros

Antoni-teach him that he cant survive off coffee...also teach him how to make his own damn coffee instead of whining about it all the time

Jonathan- Teach him how to shave and just generally take care of himself properly because he didnt have anyone to do that the first time around im not crying youre crying

Karamo- Make him less of a dick. It’s okay to hurt, and it’s okay to be confident but you dont gotta be an asshole about it. also maybe discuss delores.

Bobby-he needs a study with lots of space to write lmao ooh imagine the style is inspired by all his favourite time periods, whatever those may be that would be so cool plenty of antiques in that place

Ben - ok i know no-one but karamo could really do anything cuz he’s a ghost but pretend they could

Tan- he needs that colour boy he’s too emo (for Tan, i fully support emo rights)

Antoni- uhhhh he hasnt eaten in like 10 years feed him smth good

Jonathan- He’s perfect so nothing to change tbh

Karamo- honestly Ben is the most well-adjusted??? and he’s dead?? idk what karamo would really do besides getting him therapy

Bobby- He needs a place for himself!! There’s theories that he doesnt exist without Klaus which tbh I kinda believe so even then Bobby could incorporate a little space for him in Klaus’ place... get him some bookshelves!!

Vanya

Tan-absolutely nothing, her style is impeccable... ok fine tan would maybe make it more gay and fit better, accentuating what she wants instead of hiding everything under the baggiest shirts she can find

Antoni- comfort food that’s healthy (what? do i hear vanya and klaus bonding over using cooking to cope???)

Jonathan-GAY HAIRCUT UNDERCUT OR SMTH (but also her hair is adorable so i kinda dont want him to cut it......)

Karamo-help her realize she’s gay, just look at her karamo... but also work on her self esteem because shit dawg that could use some work

Bobby-fix up her apartment!! make it sleek and cool with hints of violins everywhere and also make it brighter because that colour scheme cannot be helping her depression

uh so yeah this was just me ranting for no reason lemme know what you think lmao

[just-jordie-things]

I Want You Here - Allison Argent

listen to the song here

An ache, so deep, that I can hardly breathe;

This pain can’t be imagined

Will it ever heal?

“y/n, y/n we gotta go!” A begging Scott.

“y/n please! Please just get up we have to!” A crying Lydia.

“We have to go, if we stay the police will be here any minute!” A pleading Kira.

But you couldn’t move, you couldn’t blink, you couldn’t look at your friends, you couldn’t breathe.  How could you even think about moving an inch, that would involve leaving the only girl you ever loved, the only one who ever loved you back, behind.  For good.  Your eyes were downcast, wide, wet, and staring at her cold and rigid form.  Her face paled, besides her dark lashes, and red blood covered lips.  There were a few tears on her whitened cheeks, some hers, some yours.

“We gotta go! y/n it’s time to go!” Scott yanked on you now, your girlfriend’s father taking the girl from your arms.  His own cries as he stared down t his only daughter, and the only family he had left.  You couldn’t fight against Scott’s strength so you just fell limp in his arms.

“Allison” Was all you whimpered out weakly as he whisked you and the others to Stiles’ jeep.

Your hand so small

held a strand of my hair

so strong

all i could do was keep believing

was this enough?

She giggled next to you, both of you snuggled together on the sofa as you watched the film.  Sure, a ‘dream first date’ wasn’t usually bing in pajamas and watching old movies while eating junk and popcorn, but you’d known the girl nearly your whole life, so it didn’t really feel like a first date.  You looked down at her, her head resting atop your shoulder as her eyes sleepily watched the film.

“I could sit like this forever you know” She said, an arm folding up on your chest, her elbow resting on your leg while her fingers found your hair, cascaded over your shoulders.

“Mm” You hummed, your head lying against hers.  “I know” You murmured back, and you felt her lips pull into a big smile.

“It’s nice” She added quietly, and just nuzzled more into your body.  You pulled the blanket that you had off of you, and more over top of her.  “I waited a long time for it”

“I did too” You admitted, not really paying attention to the movie anymore, but your gaze still on the screen.  “But it was worth it” The girl smiled again, and reached her open hand, the one not playing with your locks of hair, and intertwined your fingers with hers.  This drew your eyesight to your hands rather the tv.

“Indeed it was, Allison”

I wanna scream is this a dream?

How could this happen

Happen to me?

This isn’t fair

This nightmare

This kind of torture

I just can’t bear

You sat at the Sheriff’s station, body shaking from the cold and trauma.  You couldn’t really think straight.  Scott and Lydia was next to you on one side, Isaac on the other.  Lydia was leaning against Stiles, who was sat on the end, her empty hand held tightly in Scott’s.  No one touched you.  Maybe because they knew better, knew that you weren’t at the stage of closure, hell, you’d barely been in the stages of grieving at all.  You’d say you denied it, that she was still there with you, but you didn’t even know how to be in denial, when you barely understood anything happening.

I want you here

“It’s okay, y/n” The Sheriff said when you walked into his office.  “I want you to know that right now, anything you say, is completely off the books, it’s just you and me” The man was like a father to you.  No.. maybe an Uncle.  Basically he was family when your family couldn’t be.  Before the Argent’s, the Stilinski couch was a home sweet home sign to you.  You nodded your head, and sat down at the seat across from his desk.

You weren’t even planning on speaking, but suddenly it all came out.  From the beginning of the night, you and her giving each other a mini pep talk about safety, and to yell the second either of you needed help.  Even if it was for the smallest thing.  This was common, whenever anything dangerous and supernaturally involved happened, you reassured each other.  But what was different, was that it had ended with you telling her that you loved her.  A word you hadn’t used with one another yet.  Oni had showed up before she could say anything in return to you on the subject.

I waited for so long for you to come

Then you were here

And now you’re gone

I was not prepared for you to leave me oh this is misery

You told Sheriff Noah how you’d only looked away from her for a second, one tiny moment, a glimpse away.  But when you’d fought off the Oni attacking you, and turned to look at your girlfriend, it was too late.  There was already a blade piercing through her abdomen, and your whole world came crashing down in a matter of seconds.

Are you still there?

You didn’t even shed a tear through your entire story, any tears you had left had been splattered over her clothing as you’d pleaded with her to stay strong.  You begged and cried elfishly, telling her you didn’t know how to go one without her, that she was your purpose, your anchor.  But she’d shaken her head, and told you that you needed to find a way, because she believed you needed to be happy.

“Find someone new, you will”

“I can’t-”

“You can, y/n.  I love you, I love you so much”

“I love you too…”

“Then move on and be happy… please?” You couldn’t stop shaking her head at you.

“You make me happy, you’re the only person who will ever make me happy” She’d smiled, just barely, but you saw it.

“I love you, y/n”

“No Allison, please, please don’t, please” But it was already too late.  You gathered her close in your arms, sobbing and screaming, as her hand fell to the ground.  “But.. but I loved you”

I wanna scream is this a dream? How could this happen Happen to me? This isn’t fair This nightmare This kind of torture I just can’t bear

When you finished your story, you just stared blankly at the desk.  The Sheriff stood, in silence, and offered you a box of tissues, but you shook your head.  The man set the box back down, but not before noticing your hands in your lap, fists in tight balls, nails digging into the skin of your palms.  He almost said something, in fact his mouth was opening to say something, but you’d already stood abruptly and walked out of the room.  Scott stood, walking near you.  His arms were out just a little, and when you’d registered that he wanted to hug you, you pushed past him, and left the building.  You didn’t want some shitty pity hug.

I want you here You wanted her. God help me… God help me… Breathe…

You walked in the cold midnight hour, hands still in tight fists shoved into the pockets of your bloodied jacket.  Not all of the red substance being yours.  Some of your friends, some of the monsters, some of-

You went to the only place you felt you could release your anger, your sadness and pain.  The one place that was a safe spot for you and-

You sat at the Beacon Hills Preserve, right up on the edge of the overlook.  Your legs swung over the cliff, a fifty foot drop below you.  At one point in your life the height scared you, but you felt too numb to care about silly fears now.  Seeing that your worst one had come true when the love of your life-

You screamed, you screamed curses, words you’d never used before in your life.  You ran and stomped over the small area.  You ripped the flowers out of the ground, her favorites.  You crumpled them in your hands, accidentally holding them too tight, then throwing them off of the cliff, and watching them fall, still screaming about how fucking ugly they were without her holding them.  Then went back to kicking at threes, kicking up dirt, yanking on your hair as you screamed and screeched for anything.  Swearing, asking for God, asking for-

I wanna scream is this a dream? How could this happen Happen to me? This isn’t fair This nightmare This kind of torture I just can’t bear I want you here I want you here I want you here I want you here

The sad thing about this all, is that you were depressed long before the events that had unfolded tonight.  But it never got this bad.  Because you had a cure.  No, not the pretty pink pills in a bottle you took twice a day.  But your medication came in a tall brunette with round mocha eyes.  Your medication came in sweet random kisses.  Your medication came in dates to diners and old films.  Your medication came in soft hands holding yours.  Your medication came in whispers of forever while wrapped in white sheets.  Your medication came in banter all day long but promises of care.  Your medication came in driving around late at night with a blasting radio and loud but fun karaoke.

Your medication your happiness came in Allison Marie Argent.

An ache so deep

That i can hardly breathe

And it always would.