#Also these kinds of people drive me frickin insane

[royalarchivist]

Tubbo: You know what? You have attachment issues.

Phil: *sighs*

Tubbo: That’s right, I’m diagnosing you right now. As a Twitter user, I’m diagnosing you. I’m actually a licensed Twitter psychiatrist, you have attachment issues. I’m girlbossing you right now.

Phil: Oh wow. Really king, really?

Tubbo: Yeah really. I’m on Twitter, so I understand every single mental disorder ever. And I’ve diagnosed you. Being on Twitter is like having a psychology PHD, same thing.

[lexpressobean]

People have told me that I would make a great instructor in the future. That after I work my field for a sum amount of time, I should teach. That I have the "personality" for it as well. But I don't think so. I don't think I could do that, I do not have enough patience. My patience runs very thin these days, despite what others think. I'm just good at words and excusing myself before I snap. My study group drives me fucking insane and I'm better off studying alone and I am going to do just that from now on tbh because I can't be the group tutor every damn time.

I think I've lost just enough touch with my inner child to no longer relate things or remember what it was like to learn difficult things. Once I "got it" I rolled with it and never looked back.

And then (of course) I thought about Shino and how he struggles with teaching in Boruto. All the main kids consider him boring and he's trying so hard but it keeps blowing up in his face. These dumb lil tweens are such jerks, and middle school kids are the frickin worst.

But he still tries, because he wants to teach. It's what he wants to do so he keeps trying to be better. And even though he was always trying to act more mature as a kid himself, maybe Shino does still remember. Maybe Shino is still very in touch with his inner child, as wounded as it may be. Or maybe, more realistically, he more or less recently connected to it, and that's kind of what drives him to stay being a teacher.

Seriously, teachers are taken for granted and deal with so much sometimes. It takes someone who is upstanding and really cares to be a true teacher who does their job well, and someone dedicated to keep trying.

I love him so much. Couldn't be me tho. Maybe it's also because Shino really does like people a good amount despite his hesitations and self proclaimed "shyness". I don't hate people, I'm just selective with my time and engergy when socializing isn't part of an obligation, I guess, and that's okay too.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Ok so TOS S3E5, Is There in Truth No Beauty? is like???? So good???? So good for us aros????? It's late and this post is a mess but I needed to say it

So Spock and Miranda are set up as parallels right, and Miranda is one of the most well-written and developed women I've ever seen from Trek. She's super competent and honestly a queen but also has flaws so you know she's like actually round and can grow??

And she is 100% ARO. Like there's someone in the beginning section of the episode (another surprisingly well written character) who is super needy and says he loves her and she explicitly says, "I can't love you like you want me to love you." (WHOA big props for distinction between types of love!!) That person responds by basically calling her frigid, but when he starts thinking of murder, she (a telepath) doesn't judge him, but just tries to help him work through his feelings. He takes a jab at her for this too, but the point is she's framed as a very empathetic and caring person, although she follows the Vulcan philosophy in many ways as well (again, parallel to Spock) so she doesn't come off as exceedingly emotional.

Also when she's at dinner with the triumvirate, Jim is kind of coming onto her by saying "How did the men at the base not stop you from leaving? ...Well I'm glad they didn't, otherwise I wouldn't have met you," and then Bones says "How could someone so beautiful choose to spend her entire life being with someone so ugly?" (She is the companion/representative of an ambassador who is a very good being, but is so ugly that it drives anyone who sees it insane.) They then toast to her beauty (Spock refrains). And she says to Bones, "How can someone so full of joy and the love of life like yourself choose to spend your entire life being surrounded by death and disease? Eh, gentlemen?" ROASTEEEEEEDDDD anyways she makes a toast of her own (I think to progress?) and then Bones responds with, "To whatever you want, Miranda" in the most respectful tone and it's great.

ANYWAYS, Miranda eventually gets approached romantically by Jim (kind of as a ploy but kind of not), but she rejects him, and he proceeds to say what all aros have heard before: "You're young!", "Eventually, you'll want someone to love," "You're attractive. You want to spend your life with someone so ugly?" etc. and she just OWNS him and says no, she isn't interested in that, and anyway what right does he have to determine whether someone is too ugly or beautiful to be worth spending time with?

And then the issue between her and Spock is she doesn't want Spock to meld with the ambassador, because she's jealous and protective of the connection she's established with the ambassador and doesn't want him to take her place--which is a huge aro mood--but this jealousy is NOT because of some romantic motivation from her towards the ambassador!! And this is confirmed several times!!

Bones is trying to explain to Jim that Miranda wants to help Spock, and Jim is not buying it because "they're rivals" and Bones says "But not rivals in love!"

When the Ambassador is sharing Spock's body I was full-on ready for them to do the whole "I have a body and can kiss you now!" schtick but they DIDN'T and instead he just comforts Miranda and briefly takes her hand in a reassuring way (which he does in part because she's blind! So even cooler!!) and they are clearly close but they are friends!

And at the end she leaves with the ambassador, having gotten what she wanted (there's a cool moment about it when Bones is saying goodbye) which is a sense of security in her role/friendship with the ambassador. They DIDN'T DO THE WHOLE "I know how to love now!!" bit at the end!! We stay winning!

(Also Bones was written super well this episode because he noticed that she was blind and kept it private to respect her, and when Jim asked why Bones didn't mention it he said, "She'd have told you if she wanted you to know" so the respecting women juice was HUGE here.) She hadn't wanted to tell anyone she was blind because she hated being pitied, and she told this to Jim in their conversation as well, which means she intended it to be a comment not only about pity for her blindness, but also pity for her lack of romantic interest. She didn't want to be pitied for not wanting that with someone, which is a HUGE mood!

I was also ready for them to try something with shipping Spock and Miranda since they were so similar and they were having many other characters be interested in her, but NO they didn't do that either. She actually takes a jab at Jim about that, because as Spock is lying there comatose, she says, "You'd probably try to tell me to wake him with a kiss," and I'm like OWN HIM QUEEN bc he basically responds by calling her inhuman (rip aphobic Jim...he does this every once in a while). But no instead of having there be something romantic between her and Spock, she just saved his life and they had nice platonic conversations and respected each other greatly!!

But ALSO also what is great is (not to make this awesome woman-centric post into being about a man but):

Clearly all of Spock's interactions this episode were platonic, since he parallels her and that's certainly how they intended her interactions with him to be (and can I say how nice it is to see Spock interact with an intellectual equal--he even admits her telepathy is more advanced than his--and just have that respect there without that undertone of "are they trying to ship them...?" It's SO nice). Also a great moment at the start of the episode with Spock saying he declined the position Miranda has because "My life is here" (on the Enterprise) and thus reaffirming that Jim and Bones and what he has is more important than anything else

Because they are so similar, Miranda's aroness can easily extend into Spock being perceived as aro. Notably, Spock (unlike Jim and Bones) shows no (implied or not) romantic interest in Miranda, but simply demonstrates the deep respect which they both show each other. Also, both characters have moments this episode (explained above) in which they put their friends/platonic connections as higher priorities than romantic connections, and Miranda's connection with the ambassador is very similar to Spock and Jim's relationship. Really, we're supposed to look at them and go, "oh, they're the same type of people." So by Miranda being aro, it implicitly backs up the view of Spock as aro!!

Anyways yes I left this episode not only feeling validated as a woman because Miranda was frickin EXCELLENT writing, I also felt validated as an aro on multiple sides. And I needed to express that to y'all other starved-for-rep aros! So here ya go lol 😂

[gumnut-logic]

Thunderfam Appreciation Post

I’m giving this a new post to prevent scroll city, but the original and several reblogs can be found by clicking the above link. Also, it’s an excuse to post a piccy of Virg cos any excuse, really :D

Many thanks to @willow-salix for writing this question list :D

Before I start, I just want to say that I value every member of this fandom. I’m often hopeless at communicating in group settings so I don’t speak to many peeps, but that is my failing, not anyone else’s. You are an amazing group and you have supported me and each other just brilliantly over the last nearly three years that I have been hanging with you guys. Thank you ever so much for all your wonderful support and encouragement. I’ve had so much fun and created so much stuff…you guys are amazing. Thunderfam rock!

Please note that my memory is pathetic and I will fail to mention everyone. Please do not take any offence if you aren’t listed below. That does not mean I don’t value you, I do, it just means I have swiss cheese between my ears.

-o-o-o-

Your favourite writer of your favourite boy.

@i-am-chidorixblossom  You are a whumper and comforter after my soul. You speak the Virg :D @vegetacide I adore your turn of phrase and your description is to die for.

The person who's stories you will always read.

I try to read most fics that come across my dash, but there are a few that have me jumping up and down. @i-am-chidorixblossom , @vegetacide , @tsarinatorment , @scribbles97 , @the-lady-razorsharp , @janetm74 Of course, I regularly fail at this as some of you write a huge amount of fic and I am often playing catch up, but fic!

Who wrote the first fic you read in this fandom.

I landed on FF.net back in May 2018. I immediately ran into @the-lady-razorsharp who I knew from another fandom ten years prior and she was absolutely wonderful, drawing me in and introducing me around. I gobbled up several of her fics in the process.

Person you can talk to for the longest without a break.

I am hard to get started, persistence is required, but once started, it is usually hard to shut me up. @scribbles97 @vegetacide and @tsarinatorment have all discovered that. Dangle a Virg, a plotline and stand back.

Person you can't be trusted to be left alone with.

Um, @vegetacide and I have plotted out the entirety of Warm Rain together…poor Virg. Add @the-lady-razorsharp into the equation and Virgil ends up with a beard, dressed in leather and riding a Harley – that was a hilarious evening.  Between @tsarinatorment and @janetm74 Virgil gets grey hairs and has to go rescue Scott – because Scott inevitably ends up in the story :D  @scribbles97 gets the blame for Gentle Rain – expand your horizons she said ::headdesk:: But then there was the time I left one random line about Eos visiting Virgil in the shower and went to bed. I woke up to hilarity and chaos as Thunderfam took the idea and ran with it! Love you guys :D

Person whose fic made you cry the most.

I know there were at least two fics that made me cry, but for the life of me I can’t identify them. I did cry writing my own fic – Flannel – and don’t tend to reread it for that reason. Purupuss traumatised me with A Quiet Day to the point I had to put it down and walk away for a bit ::wails::

Person whose fic made you laugh the most.

I have no idea. I know there are fic out there and I know I’ve read it, but without a complete list of everything I’ve read, I don’t have a clue.

Person whose fic made you think the most.

Aaaargh, I don’t have a master list so can’t remember everything. Staring at my paltry favourites list on FF.net (which was mostly gathered three years ago and never maintained), Purupuss’ ‘Brothers in Arms’ and her whole Quiet series has me wanting to write a Scott-Virgil telepathic fic (and she has given me permission to run with the idea, I just haven’t actioned it yet). Counterpoint by Swallow and Amazon is amazing and likely contributed to Sotto Voce.

Person you have laughed with the most.

I’m really not liking this ultimate one person idea. I’ve laughed with a lot of people in this fandom. I’ve candy cannoned a bunch of you as well :P There has been mad plot cackling, evil conspiring, fic written to stir pots and delight on purpose. Hell, I’ve even written fic that was purposefully a giant virtual hug because I’m so far away that even if half the world wasn’t in isolation, I couldn’t hug most of you. Sure, I talk with some of you more than others, and there is laughter in those chats…oh, god, so much cackling, poor, poor Tracy boys. But then there are also so many smiles both vocalised and not. Thunderfam is one of my happy places. Bring on the belly laughs :D

Your comfort fic that you'll go back and read again on a bad day.

I will often resort to my own fic when I’m really down simply because it helps me get to sleep :D and it is kinda tailored to me ::grins::  (and my memory is that bad I often forget what I wrote anyway – yes, it is that bad) But there are also a few on my FF.net favourites list. Mostly hurt/comfort in a Virg flavour. Cheesycheese, nhsweetcherry, A Small Rescue by Nalina, Breathe Easy and Under the Weather by @loopstagirl – several of hers, in fact – the Virg ones :D Pretty much anything that has Virg fainting and being looked after apparently :D Chiddi and Veggie fic, of course.

Favourite piece of fan art.

I have never been so honoured by artists before. This fandom has some amazing skills and I have been gifted some beautiful works. You guys are amazing (I keep saying it like a broken record, but you are).

Again, I’m stuck on having to list one and I can’t. I think Fanart Appreciation Month in January pretty much summed up my opinion.

Who have you known the longest in the fandom.

@the-lady-razorsharp followed by @vegetacide both wonderful peeps. I can’t miss out on @weirdburketeer either for her amazing support almost from day one.

Favourite OC.

I have to say that I really enjoy reading about Ray from @i-am-chidorixblossom ‘s fics :D He is so gentle and kind and just ::sigh:: Virg likes him lots :D Selene by @willow-salix is, of course, a major presence in the fandom and amazingly written. @hedwigstalons ‘ Claire is lovely.

Person who supports your work the most.

The Thunderfam? There have been some wonderful people who support all the time. @hedwigstalons  @cg29 @janetm74 @weirdburketeer in particular have been amazing support liking and commenting on just about everything I write. I honestly don’t know how they do it. Plus several peeps over on FF.net and Ao3 who support me over there.

And then there are the poor souls who put up with me in chat and listen to my wibblies and whining and character checks and field random chunks of writing that get thrown their way. @scribbles97 @vegetacide @the-lady-razorsharp  @tsarinatorment @i-am-chidorixblossom @onereyofstarlight @godsliltippy  @willow-salix @janetm74 all have had random passages thrown at them at all times of the day and night by a crazy me begging for feedback. Does this work? Is this in character? Am I insane? What the hell is Scott doing? Is this John??? I give up, tell me what to do? Virgil is driving me insane! So, um, yeah

Person who's progress you are the most proud of.

I love those peeps who appear in fandom who start off poking around commenting and generally being lovely and then all of a sudden get out their own pens and start writing and they are frickin’ amazing! Both @janetm74 and @hedwigstalons come to mind in this department. Like holy cow – ‘here is my first fic and I’m not sure’ ::reads it:: Omigod! Where did you come from? That was amazing. Sit down here now, keep doing that writing thing, bloody hell! I think being brave enough to pick up a pen and join in is a major thing :D

Person who's story you think is underrated and should be read by more people.

If I find fic I like, I reblog it and shout about it. What I like is definitely skewed in a Virgil direction and this dictates often what I’m going to read first. I can’t reblog what I haven’t read. So, this equation will always be skewed by ‘reasons I haven’t read a fic’ which mostly involves either Virgil or the fact I’m juggling RL. So, my answer to this is if I think a fic needs to be shouted about, I shout about it.

Something you think people would say about you.

She’s nutty.

Silliest 'thing' you do with someone.

I’ve been known to write fic on the fly directly into chat windows to try and distract peeps going through shitty times.

Favourite pairing you now Stan because of someone's fic.

Virgil/Kayo because of @vegetacide for reasons I have blamed her for multiple times. @the-lady-razorsharp and @weirdburketeer were accessories to the fact.

Favourite headcanon from someone's fic.

Um, Virgil and coffee? I got that from somewhere and it has infiltrated my fic…a lot.

Ultimately, though, I feel most people I interact with contribute to my fic and how I’m feeling. This has been a wonderful experience. I try to return the support as much as I can, but sometimes it is a juggle between writing more, my stupid fluctuating mood, the demands of RL and my own creative drive. I hope I’ve helped a few peeps, because you guys have certainly helped me ::major group hug::

And yes, I hug a lot, because to be honest, I have no other descriptor to communicate how I feel, so you get buckets of hugs :D

Tagging the Thunderfam. Feel free to grab these questions and run with them. You’re all part of the gang whether you write, read, art, gif, screenshot, chat, babble, stare at Virgil all day...I know I do a lot of staring.

Nutty

(Thunderfam rocks!)

[akikaza-blog]

I just needed a place to put this.

I spent the last hour researching the best web hosts and CMS tools I could use to make a website about this, when what I really needed was a place to vent.

My ideals about privacy and security, however, kept getting in the way of me finding a haven for my thoughts. I didn’t want Google to have access to my words through Blogger, and I didn’t want to use WordPress just in case I ever planned on expanding this past what it is for me right now.

I don’t know why I chose Tumblr. I don’t necessarily trust them either. Perhaps because it’s an easy platform to get started with, and they’ve been integral to my life in the past.

I don’t know why I’m talking about any of that. None of it is relevant. What’s relevant is that I am at a complete loss. I mean lost. I’m not sure who I am or what I’m doing on this earth anymore. I haven’t been for quite some time. But recently, in light of me doing by (perceived) best to get myself in a better place vibrationally, I seem to have just attracted more and more shit for myself.

So I’m completely lost.

I’m not sure what to do, or how to dig myself out of this grave I seem to have jumped into.

My grandfather just had a stroke, and I can no longer understand what he’s saying most of the time. I saw him cry for the first time in my life today. My mother also has the same kind of facial paralysis, from a stroke she had while delivering my 2-year-old baby sister just a few years ago. Thankfully, my grandmother seemed to be in good spirits, despite the fact that she’s been mentally absent for most of the year.

Before I went to see them, my boyfriend tried to start a fight with me because of some perceived slight to him. He woke me up at 7 am this morning trying to tell me that he’d call his dad and was threatening to move out, because clearly I was just like my mother and only out to get him arrested and thrown in jail. I’d had a tantrum the night before due to overwhelming stress of being saddled with a lifetime of responsibilities. He never was going to go anywhere, though. It was all just a facade to try and make me “act better.”

I could go on and on about all the shit in my life that led me up to this point—the failed marriage and subsequent divorce, the molestation and the also maybe-rape, the suicide threats made to me, the suicide threats made by me, the cuts on my legs and the ones elsewhere that aren’t so visible, except the one of my left forearm that I didn’t really mean to end up there, the years of rotating through jobs, the mountain of debt, the depression, the anxiety, the nightmares, the fear of going to sleep at night, the constant looming existential crises—

The point was to say that I wouldn’t go on about all that shit, but then I did just that, didn’t I?

I’m just tired of not being sure of myself. I don’t know what I should do. I’m not sure how to create and maintain successful relationships. I’m not sure if I should find fulfillment in my career, and if so, how to go about it. I don’t know how to spend time with my hobbies anymore in a way that relaxes me. I can’t figure out what it is that I was put on this earth to do, and I don’t know if I care about finding that out anymore. If someone came by and killed me today, I think it would be a blessing. I’m not sure how much longer it will be before I try myself.

I’m not afraid of death. I think death would be a welcome respite from this life. A chance to start over. But if there’s one thing this life has taught me, it’s that the faster you run from something, the quicker you’ll reach that very same thing. If we are reincarnated beings, then my escape from this life will only find me living the very same one in my next body. There is no escape from the wheel of hell that is samsara.

And every thing I try to do to escape from it just finds me running faster and harder on this hamster wheel, tiring myself out and yet unable to die.

Why kill myself if I’m just going to end up living the same hell over and over again anyway? Should I not stick around and see how this one goes? Who knows what horrors await me in the next one? Perhaps it’s better to postpone those for a while.

I’m not sure what this blog will become, or if I’ll migrate it to its own website and try to start something there. If I do, there’s a few places that I might want to emulate, namely:

https://www.learning-mind.com/about-us/

https://lonerwolf.com/start-here/

https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/about-us/

https://pairedlife.com/compatibility/Existential-Crisis-for-Myers-Briggs-Personalities

But fuck, man, the thought of doing that, of ever producing anything that anyone would want to see or read, is laughable to me. Who would want to hear from me? My own so-called “loved ones” don’t want to hear from me. They interrupt me and berate me when I speak, chastise me for my thoughts, then beat me down when I become reticent and refuse to engage in discussion. It’s absolutely unfathomable to me that anyone would give enough of a shit about me to care about what I have to say. They all just think I’m crazy.

But I AM crazy. I know that. This world is driving me insane. And the only thing that’s ever helped me to process my emotions, that’s ever helped me to make sense of this neverending hell-hole, is writing.

It’s the only way I can get my thoughts out in a way other people will listen. It’s the only way I’ve ever gotten anyone to hear what I have to say. For some reason, no one cares about the words coming out of my mouth. But when I put them down on paper, then they want to stop and listen.

Besides, I need to get this thoughts out of my head, or they’re going to make me commit suicide.

At this point, all I can do is write.

So, here’s what I’m going to do. Whenever I start a new blogging endeavour, I like to do what’s called the Minimum Viable Blog test. That means that, for a profitable web business, I need to come up with 104 ideas which would equate to posting twice a week for a full calendar year. If I can’t think of 104 things to write about, then I shouldn’t be bothered with the blog.

So let’s have some fun real quick! Let’s see how many things I can think to ramble about on this Tumblog here. Here we go:

Interruption in conversation (Boyfriend, Aunt5 interrupting me and shutting down my speech so they can talk instead)

Twin flames, soulmates, etc. and whether or not they exist

Personality psychology and typology and how much I frickin’ love Myers Briggs (with a nod to the Enneagram)

The 14 billion or so odd years we’ve all been dead, and the infinity we’ll all be dead

Reincarnation and moving up or down the scale of life (will you be a bug or an angel?)

Why I keep getting strange impressions from a dead friend from high school, and how absolutely offended Boyfriend is to hear about them

3 am, the witching hour, and why I can’t sleep between the hours of 2 and 5/6am

Whether or not dreams are actually transporting us to different realities

What it means to cut yourself and why someone might do it

The day I found out I might have Asperger’s syndrome

How meditation has worked (and failed) for me as a practice

Why I listen to Abraham Hicks even though I can’t seem to quite put the Law of Attraction to good use

Needing insane systems, structure and rituals to make it through a fucking day

Why I watched a ton of horror movies and then decided to stop

Not being able to hold down a job and barely making it as a freelancer

The freedom I experience through creative (musical, written, lyrical) pursuits

The four years of living death I spent wading through a fated relationship

Playing devil’s advocate and what it does to different people

Why I can’t seem to express my desire for hypothetical conceptualization in a way that allows others to engage in productive dialogue with me

All the ways my INTPness has helped my life

All the ways my INTPness has hurt my life

Signs that I totally do have Aspergers

Signs that I really do not have Aspergers

All the times I was convinced I was going to kill myself

All the ways my family of origin functions much like a cult

My absolute inability to be in a successful relationship

Why Buddhism appealed to me so much

My fears of becoming a mother and ruining my children

The sorts of fantasy worlds I used to escape into as a child

My thoughts on astrology, energy, vibration, and the concept of ‘as above so below’

My conceptual fear of death and my apparent lack of it in actuality

Being run out of an apartment by crazy black men with guns

Wanting to merge with another, and feeling completely unable to when one does not think entirely as the other does

How yoga helps me stay in touch with my body and stop thinking about shit so much

My weird eating habits and how I have to stick to things like strict schedules and liquid breakfasts

Spinning in circles as a ritual to passageway through doors or portals

My eternal fight with the cracks in the ground or on the sidewalk while walking

Why I love flying and how free it makes me feel

Serendipity and the times when it absolutely fills me with joy

Whether or not I was raised by narcissists

Why I can’t seem to keep any friends

My love of computers, programming languages, and the Internet

Speaking of which, how I lived on the Internet for most of my life, my favorite sites, where I would go and what I would do

Symphony of Science and why I love it so much

Stephen Hawking as one of my greatest idols ever

The heat death of the universe, is it better or worse than a big crunch?

Can we escape to another universe?

Is everything infinite? If it is, will we inevitably live all lifetimes eventually? In that case, what need is there to fear death?

Worrying about what other people think of me

Should I keep my mouth shut to spare other people’s feelings?

Writing as a way to process emotions and understand myself, and feel understood by others

The absolute mess that was my freshman year of college

The absolute mess that was my sophomore year of college

The absolute mess that was my junior year of college

The absolute mess that was my senior year of college

The absolute mess that was my first year after graduation

Whew! Alright, I think that’s a good start. Look, all of this shit has been on my mind for a long time now, and there’s not really anyone in my life I feel like I can share it with. Not even Boyfriend, with whom I believed to be so close for so long. But recent life experiences have shown me that, in the end, I am utterly and completely alone. I can trust only myself, and look only to myself for happiness and fulfillment.

I think I’ll stop the list here for now, but I’m sure I’ll be back in just a few minutes with more ideas. As soon as the pressure is off, the water hose of creation just explodes and drenches me with possibilities.

Until then, I guess.

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

The Legend of Frosty the Snowman REVIEW:

Hello there everybody. My name is JoyofCrimeArt and welcome to the third review in my month long "Deviant-cember." special event. If you where here last time you would of seen my review of the 1992 holiday specials "Frosty Returns." But as I said at the end of that review, we're not done with Frosty the Snowman just yet. Because there's not just one, but two Frosty the Snowman sequels that came out after the fact that weren't created by Rankin-Bass. One was "Frosty Returns" and the other was 2005's "The Legend of Frosty the Snowman." which we are going to talk about today! 

 "The Legend of Frosty the Snowman," as previously stated, was a 2005 special direct to DVD special created by Classic Media and Studio B productions, and was designed to be a "broad strokes reboot." of Frosty the Snowman. Other then that, there's not much history behind this special other then the fact that they use to show this all the time on Cartoon Network when I was younger. How does this special hold up to the other entries in the Frosty mythos? Well, let's dive in and find out.  The special opens up in the dark and creepy attic of an old man...  ...Not the best place to start.  All jokes aside, this is where we meet our celebrity narrator, this time played by Burt Reynolds. He introduces us to the story, just like all of the past narrators have done in these specials, and he has an advantage over Johnathan Winters because he is not a scary gremlin man. So points to this special right off the back.  The special starts with a series of chained up crates being magically opened, with Frosty the Snowman's hat locked inside. The hat, free from it's shackles, flies out the window. The narrator tells us that Frosty the Snowman always goes where he is needed. We then get to see our main character of the special, Tommy Tinkerton, (played by Kaith Soucie.) Tommy, and his brother Charlie, are woken up by there father Mr. Tinkerton, and told to get ready for school.  Now might be a good time to talk about these three characters. Tommy, our main character, is rather bland. Now granted the main kid characters in all of the Frosty special where bland, with Holly from "Frosty Returns." being the closest to not bland, but still not quite making it. So Tommy being the boring "generic kid" character isn't really that much of a surprise. Tommy's brother, Charlie, on the other hand I actually kinda like. He's the stereotypical "big brother bully" character but with the added twist of, rather than being a delinquent he's actually a of a stickler for the rules, which is an interesting combination of traits that you don't see that much of in characters. It gives him a bit of depth, or at least by Frosty the Snowman standards, which is not much.  And then we have Tommy's dad, Mr. Tinkerton. He is the mayor of the town (called Evergreen) and also one of the whitest humans to ever white. This is appropriate because he is voiced by Tom Kenny, who is also one of the whitest people to ever white. This guy is a control freak, to a cartoonish extent. Granted, that's obviously the point of the character, and it's used for comedy, but still. It's a bit insane. He goes outside to inspect the city, I guess, and he goes to make sure that the sun rises at exactly six am. (Which by the way is frickin' earily for the sun to rise in winter.) He licks a sidewalk (to test how clean it is.) And then he "convinces." a flower to be in bloom despite it being winter. This Mayor is frickin' nutty to say the least.  He then goes back inside his house to "inspect." his family before the kids go off to school. Now I know this is all suppose to be played for laughs, and Tom Kenny's voice does make it much harder to find this scene terrifying, but all I'm saying was that if you put these scenes and played them off a little different it would come off as a LOT more cultish. It kinda comes off like that one dystopian future run by Ned Flanders in the fifth Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode.

(Look at those eyes. Those are eyes of true fear.)    Mr. Tinkerton inspects his kids and they they go off in there single file line off to school. The narrator tells us that the kids in this town never stepped out of line, unless it was on accident. Then as there walking they all slip on some ice, causing a massive chain reaction causeing Tommy to knock over a mailbox, which makes a car swerve into a fire hydrant. The fire hydrant burst releasing a massive flood of water that instantly freezes, causing the kids to slip more until they crash into city hall. And do you want to know what the messed up thing is? The special heavily implies that it was FROSTY who did this. Because right as Tommy is getting up after crashing into the wall of city hall, he see's the hat fly by and land on the school statue. And this special establishes that in this incarnation Frosty can use magic without being built, because the hat itself is sapient and magical in it's own right. And Frosty's consensus is held there.  What the heck Frosty, what did you do all of that for? To show them about non conformity by forcing them out of there line? I mean yeah, you did that, but you also nearly killed these kids! And what about that guy driving the car? He easily could of died, and now he has to ride the bus everyday to work! Frosty is just a being of pure Chaos!

FRICKIN' REK'D SON! (Part Deuce!)   Tommy goes and talks to his nerdy black best friend, Walter. (Cause you have to have a nerdy black best friend. "Danny Phantom" taught me so.) And talks about how he's going to ask out his crush, Sara, out. Walter teases Tommy, saying that he says that everyday by Tommy tells him that "There's something different about today."  Tommy makes it to school where he sees the flying hat again, and tries to tell the school principal, Principal Pankley, about it. Unfortunately for Tommy the head fly's off before the principal can see it, and he yells at Tommy telling him to get to class.  In the classroom we see that things are just as strict and cultish as they are outside. It seems that Principal Pankley is just as strict and uptight as Tommy's dad is, only he's a lot meaner about it. He also seems to stalk the classrooms watching the students just to make sure that the students are acting in line. Shouldn't he have like, paperwork to do, or something? Tommy once again see's the Frosty hat, this time outside the school window. But since hes in class there isn't much he can do about it.  The school day ends Tommy tries to talk to his crush, Sara, but he strikes out. We then cut to Tommy's house at dinner time where Tommy and his brother compete in an...table etiquette themed game show? WTF! (Which, by the way, stands for "What the Frosty." in this context.")

So yeah, just in case we haven't drove home the point that Mr. Tinkerton is a frickin' maniac, this scene is here to reiterate that this guy likes rules. Tommy's brother Charlie dominates the game and Mr. Tinkerton ends up giving him a number one pin for winning. While this scene is...dumb, it does sort of serve a point. Shocking, I know, but hear me out. This scene shows, in a kinda subtle way, that Mr. Tinkerton as a lot more in common with Charles than he does with Tommy, showing a bit of a parental favoritism. I wish the special dove more into this, but sadly it does not.  After dinner, Tommy is seen looking out the window and the hat appears to him one more time. This time Frosty shows off one of his many new superpowers. This version of Frosty can create an astral projection of himself, cause why the heck not, am I right? I mean if Elsa can use her ice powers to somehow make herself a dress in "Frozen" then I don't see why Frosty can't use his ice powers to make an astral projection of himself.  Tommy see's the astral snowman beckoning to him, but Tommy tells Frosty that he can't go outside because he's scared of getting in trouble and disappointing his father. This is very different from the most realistic response of "OH MY GOD! THAT FLYING HAT CREATED AN ASTRAL IMAGE OF A SNOWMAN OUTSIDE MY WINDOW! WHAT THE ACTUAL F#&K!" But I guess somethings never change with these specials. (I swear I think the traffic cop is the only one who ANY of the Frosty specials to actually react to Frosty!)

 So the hats like "Ugh, whatever, screw this kid." and flies off to find a kid who's more willing to be a main character! So Frosty's hat flies over to Tommy's best friend Walter's house instead. We see a bit into Walter's home life. We see that Walter is a very nervous child with a very loud and demanding mother, who Walter is kind of afraid of. Walter see's Frosty's hat tap on his window and...wait, what the heck is wrong with that map behind Walter?

(So is that weird land mass in the lower right hand corner suppose to be Australia? Or is this confirming that this special actual exist after some kind of nuclear Armageddon ravages the land and ends up reshaping the continents #CARTOONCONSPIRACY)  Anyway Walter opens the window and grabs on the hat, only for the hat to fly off with Walter holding on to the hat. Taking Walter flying over the city. Tommy see's this and opens the window asking where Walter is going. Walter response that he doesn't know. Tommy then proceeds to do nothing to help his friend and is nowhere to be seen for the rest of the scene. Man between Tommy and Holly I think there might just be a tradition of the main character of Frosty specials to be massive jerks to there friends.  So after Frosty kidnaps this child he then proceeds to bring him to the middle of the forest. #happyholidays. Walter admits that the flight across the city was fun a proceeds to put the hat on a snowman, thus reviving Frosty the Snowman, this time played by Bill Fagerbakke. In case you don't know Bill Fagerbakke is the voice actor of Patrick Star in "Spongebob Squarepants" and his voice really works for Frosty in this special (Though it can get a bit grating when he yells, though luckily that's not that big of a problem here because Frosty actually whispers a lot of his lines in this special.) As typical at this point Walter only seems slightly surprised to see a talking snowman. Though to be fair he did just fly across the city riding a hat, so by comparison I guess this isn't really that out of the ordinary.    So Frosty shows Walter about all the fun one can have in the snow when there not to concerned about rules and safety and the like. They have a snowball fight, the race down a hill, Frosty makes it snow (Showing off more of his reality warping Godlike powers.) And then Frosty walks Walter home. Walter talks about how he's scared to go inside, because he's scared of how his mother is going to react. Frosty ask why Walter would be scared of his own Mom, and asks if Walter's mom is some kind of hairy monster or something. Walter tells Frosty that his mom is just a normal lady and Frosty wonders why Walter would be scared of a normal lady. This gives Walter the bravery to go inside his house.  This is what I really like about this iteration of Frosty. He manages to combine both the dim witted nature of the original Rankin-Bass Frosty with the wisdom and insight of the "Frosty Returns" version of Frosty. He comes off as an idiot, but he actual ends up having some sage advice for the kids, weather on accident or on purpose. In fact, do you want to know what this version of Frosty the Snowman reminds me of? A better version of "Uncle Grandpa." Think about it for a second. He's a magical entity who shows up out of nowhere who only interacts with kids, and takes them on adventures where they learn about themselves while also acting kind of like an idiot. It's a pretty apt comparison! I remember at one point the creator of Uncle Grandpa said this during an interview with the website Cartoon Brew about the character of Uncle Grandpa.

He talks about how at the end of the day you don't know if Uncle Grandpa is an idiot or if it's all really planned. The thing is though, is that when you watch "Uncle Grandpa" it's made pretty frickin' clear that he's an idiot. We see him when he's not with kids and he acts like an idiot there to. However, I feel like this version of Frosty fits this description better. It is kept vague. There is a bit of mystery around Frosty, and how much he knows. You really don't know if his advice comes from genuine wisdom, or ignorance or both, and that's what I really like about this version of him.  So Walter walks inside and when his mother asks him where he was, he just says that he was "out having fun." and walks off. This disobedience causes his mother to faint. The next day Walter goes to school and, because he stayed out after curfew, is considered "the bad boy." of the school and everybody takes noticed. Including Principal Pankley and Tommy's dad. And because Walter stayed up past curfew, Principal Pankley decides to give him detention, which is...way beyond his jurisdiction. A principal can't punish a student for something they did after school. Also why is Tommy's dad here? He's the mayor! While he may have some kind of ability to punish Walter for breaking curfew he has no power to punish him in the school. Evergreen seems to be pretty much a dictatorship where the mayor and the principal have the power to do whatever the heck they want.  During lunch Charlie ends up threatening Walter, warning him that if he keeps up this delinquency he'll be sorry. Unfortunately Charlie pounds the table, knocking Walter's food off it, and the food lands all over the principal and Charlie ends up getting detention too. Mr. Tinkerton ends up removing Charlies number one pin. Mr. Tinkerton and Principal Pankley ask Walter where he was the following night and Walter tells them that he was hanging out with a talking snowman. Mr. Tinkerton has a weird reaction to this, but Principal Pankley just says that that's nonsense.  While all of this is going on, Tommy tries to stalk er, I mean "follow" Sara into the forest so he can tell her how he feels about her. But unfortunately for Tommy, he chickens out yet again. We see that Sara is building a model city out of snow in the forest because she dreams of being an urban planner. But her mom does not want her to become an urban planner, because even urban development is to much fun for the people of this town. But then, for like the ten billionth time in this special so far, Tommy see's Frosty's hat. Only this time he actually decides to chase the hat down. The hat ends up flying into the local library. Tommy runs around trying to find the hat only to trip on a secret lose panel in the library, leading to some kind of secret passage way.  Okay, now here is when things get a bit confusing. Even though we just saw the hat fly into the library we immediately see a fully formed Frosty outside the school window. (Which by the way how is he fully formed. Who built him the body this time? Did the hat just fly all the way back to where he left his body before showing up?) Charlie and Walter see him and leave detention through BECAUSE THERE'S NO TEACHER WATCHING THEM! (like I know they locked the door, but they where still able to leave the room through some off screen other door I guess!) and they go outside to go see Frosty. They goof around and Charlie begins to warm up to Frosty.  Then we cut right back to Tommy, meaning either this special is telling events out of order or that the scene with Walter and Charlie took place in exactly zero seconds. He's still at the top of the stairs that he started descending in the last scene! He goes down the stares through the secret tunnel in the library where we see Frosty's hat again! This leaves only three options, either  A.) The scene with Walter and Charlie takes place after this scene, and the specials telling these events out of order. (Which the special gives no other hints of.)  B.) Frosty entered the library (in hat form.) Then left the library and met up with Charles and Walter (in snowman form) and then came back to the library (in hat form again.) all in the span of time it would take Tommy to walk down the steps. Which would be like a couple minutes at MOST!  Or C.) THERE ARE TWO FROSTY'S #CARTOONCONSPIRACYAGAIN!  Anyway Tommy ends up finding a comic book in this library. This comic book happens to be a comic book ABOUT Frosty the Snowman, telling of his origins! (D-Don't ask why. Just roll with it.) We learn of the story of a small little boy who is the son of a magician (a magician who you may recognize if you've seen the original Frosty the Snowman, though they change his name.) This kid grew up never believing in magic since, being the son of a magician, knew how all the tricks where done. This was until he ended up putting his father's hat onto a snowman, and the snowman came to life. But after his first meeting with the snowman was unable to find Frosty ever again, and assumed he made it up.  It's a cute re-imaging of the origin story all things considered. Though in some ways it does seems like a bit of a self insert fanfiction, replacing Karen with this new kid. But whatever, it's neat.  But then Mr. Tinkerton enters the library and the librarian informs him that his son is here. Tommy quickly runs out of the secret basement and meeting up with his father. Mr. Tinkerton tells Tommy that he needs to rely on Tommy to help him keep order, and tell him if any more mischief comes up. He also tells Tommy that all of his rules are there to make sure that people don't have any unrealistic expectations when it comes to things like magic. Mr. Tinkerton gives Tommy the number one pin and gives him a hug. It's a nice scene that puts Tommy in the situation where he has to pick between his father's acceptance and what is actually the right thing to do. (Also I think the voice acting really sells it. This special might not be that "good" but it does have some great voice talent.)  That following night we see Sara, working on her piano scales, which she does not seem to find much enjoyment in. She tells her mother this, but she does not seem to care. That, or course, is when Frosty shows up. Sara mentions that nobody seems to listen to her and Frosty says it might be because she's talking to loudly. Because to paraphrase Frosty "The quieter you talk, the more attention you have to pay just to hear what your saying." See, this is what I like about this version of Frosty. He has this air of wisdom to him. It's a good lesson, as the loudest people aren't necessarily the ones who you should be listening to.  Sara says she wants to learn how to ice skate and Frosty obliges. He demonstrates more of his Godlike powers my making THE FRICKIN' MOON SHINE ON THEM, MAKING IT THERE OWN PERSONAL SPOTLIGHT! (Why can Frosty control the moon? This goes way beyond the power of ice and snow. Also Frosty vs Elsa "Death Battle" please.)

(Or maybe Frosty is just trying to activate his Oozaru Form.)    The next day at school it seems that all of Tommy's friends have turned against him because, now that he has Mayor Tinkertons number one pin, they believe him to be the enemy. Tommy mentions that Frosty's powers steam from his hat and walks off, unsure if he should chose his friends or his father to follow (even though his friends are kinda being jerks here, in all honesty.)  That night Tommy walks into his family room to see his mother scrap booking when he see's a photo of the boy from the comic book. It turns out that the boy from the comic book, the one who originally created Frosty was none other than...Tommy's father.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvcoly2i-3M

(Except, y'know, it was pretty dang obvious.)  The next morning Mr. Tinkerton goes outside to do his inspection and nobody is listening to him. The sun refuses to rise at 6 am (rising at 6:01 instead. Which I think is less a sign of disobedience and more just a sign of the season changing.) and nobody is following the rules. Even the adults, for some reason. Even though later we see that the adults are just as upset about the disobedience as Mr. Tinkerton is. 

(Here's something my older brother pointed out. This special is basically "Footloose with Frosty." It's Frostloose!)  Anyway this mild chaos makes Mr. Tinkerton spiral even further into his madness. Principal Pankley goes up to him and tells Mr. Tinkerton that he does not have what it takes to quell this rebellion, and so Principal Pankley decides to take matters into his own hands. Pankley ends up seeing Frosty while he was spying on the kids playing in the woods. (Which sounds a lot more eff'd up now that I right that sentence down.) and decides to take action. You see throughout the special Walter has been getting progressively more and more jealous of the other kids for stealing his time with Frosty, to the point to where he kinda becomes that clingy girlfriend type who always wants you to themselves. Principal Pankley see's this and tell's Walter that if he wants to have some time with Frosty all by himself he should go after dark when there less people around, and Principal Pankley agrees to chaperone the excursion since it's set after curfew. Walter ends up agreeing to the arrangement, even though this entire special has made it really clear that Principal Pankley is even more of a rule freak than Mr. Tinkerton is, and has made it pretty clear that he would never do something this nice to anybody ever.  Then, in case things weren't out there enough Principal Pankley decides to basically just, declare himself mayor of the town, in order to more efficiently take down the menace of Frosty the Snowman. Y'know I don't think a snowman running around is really worthy of bring out this kind of marshal law. And of course everybody in the town just kinda rolls with it, because why wouldn't they.

That night Tommy is reading the comic book, trying to looks for some kind of a solution when suddenly some more pages of the story are magically reveled to him. The books shows that the reason that Frosty never returned to Mr. Tinkerton as a kid was because another, jealous child had found the hat and locked it up. And that kid happened to be Principal Pankley! And the comic also reveled that Walter was at the lake with Principal Pankley right now. Thanks magic comic book for waiting this long give give Tommy the answers he needed. If you just had all your pages from the start maybe we could of avoided this, but no, you had to wait till the very last minute give us all the information we needed, because you wanted to be dramatic! Also how come Frosty waited this long to leave the trunk that Principal Pankley locked him up in? I mean he just kinda broke out of the box at the beginning of the special. It's not like anyone let him out. Why did it take twenty years to escape?  But whatever. We see that Walter is out in the middle of the woods...at night..with Principal Pankely...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgJYTeBynqA

And Walter is skating with Frosty. (Principal Pankley is hiding behind a tree so Frosty doesn't see him.) But while there skating the thin ice breaks and Frosty ends up falling into the water. What would of happened if the ice didn't break? This plan isn't very thought out at all. After Frosty melts Principal Pankley grabs the hat and leaves laughing.  Later all the kids have noticed that Frosty stopped showing up, and everybody assumes that it was Tommy who got rid of him. The think this on the ground that Tommy never spent any time with him, he has Mr. Tinkerton's number one pin, and he would have the knowledge on how to destroy him because he mentioned knowing his origin earlier. Principal Pankley begins to revel in his new found power. But Tommy decides that he has stop being scared and do whats right and save Frosty! He get's Walter to confess to his accidental role in Frosty's destruction and the hatch a plan to bring him back. He shows the comic to all the other kids and gets back to there good graces and then they storm to school to retrieve Frosty's hat. (Which is just in a frickin' glass case in the middle of the school where everyone can see it. Cause that'll stop the hat that broke out of like six chained up trunks.)  Principal Pankley chases the kids back to the frozen pond where they engage in a snow themed chase and snowball fight that is way less epic then the specials says it is. Everyone in town hears the commotion (because the glass case had an alarm.) and goes to the pond as well. The kids rebuild Frosty the F#&k Boi and all the adults see Frosty for themselves, including Mr. Tinkerton. He and Frosty reconnects and Tommy gives the pin back to his father. Frosty ends up hitting Walter's mother and an entire snowball fight with all the kids and adults break out as all the adults learn the error of there ways. As for Principal Pankley...

(Okay that doesn't happen, but let me have my version dang it!)  And the special reveals the shock twist. That Tommy ends up growing up to become...Burt Reynolds! Er, I mean the narrator. The narrator is a grown up Tommy. I like the twist, making the narrator have more of a point then just being some random guest star. Though it is a bit weird that the narrator isn't some kind of horrid uncanny valley version of Bruce Willis. It just feels like it's breaking Frosty tradition. Oh, and we learn that Tommy ended up marring Sara, and I definitely...don't care.  Oh and what happens to Frosty? Um...In don't know. They never really say what happens to him once the winter ends. Also they never really say what happens to Principal Pankley. I guess he's still the principal? And will continue to make life for the student miserable at school? I dunno, who cares? The special is over now.  So that was "The Legend of Frosty the Snowman." is it any good? Well, probably not, but it has some good parts. The voice cast is pretty good, including Burt Reynolds, who has a really good voice that adds a lot of gravitas to the narrator. (Also Bert Reybnolds sings, which is probably something that you won't here in Dukes of Hazard.) The animation is okay, kinda generic looking but they kinda make up for it by having a lot of nice colors, with lots of blues and whites. Also I really like this version of Frosty. I don't know if I like him more or less than the "Frosty Returns" version of him (as Bill Fagerbakke loud and oafish sounding voice he gives Frosty can get a bit grating at times, like I said previously, but It's prety good for like 90-95 percent of the film) I still think the voice is a perfect fit for what there doing with this version of Frosty, there are just a couple of times where it sounds a bit to much like Patrick Star yelling. (By the way, I like how this special has Bill Fagerbakke still being friends with Tom Kenny.) I love the idea of Frosty being this world traveler and I think this special does a good job combing elements from both the original and the "Frosty Returns" incarnation. It's a good reboot even if it's not the best story.  Unfortunately the film has a lot of problems to. Most of the kids are fairly generic. Charlie and Walter are kinda interesting but Sara and Tommy are both rather bland. Tommy has a good conflict in the story, and a good arc, but outside of that he's just a generic kid. And there love story felt very tacked on, like I think they only speak to each other a couple of times in the whole movie and they don't have any chemistry. We don't get a reason on why Tommy likes her other than "cause I'm the main character and she's the token girls so I guess we're suppose to be together! Also the story is pretty dumb and full of plot holes. They go to cartoonish lengths to show how uptight the adults are but it doesn't come off as funny. It's just another 'fight the establishment." story that we've seen many times before. Also Principal Pankley, while having some goofy and amusing moments is nowhere near as fun of a villain as Mr. Hinkle or Mr. Twitchell. Also this special is sixty six minutes long and it can be a bit of a drag by the end. They probably could of cut it down to forty four if they cut out some of the more filler-y scenes.  So do I recommend this special? Well, it depends on who you are. I think you can tell by reading this review if it's something that would be up your alley or not. It's dumb, cheesy and kind of bland but there are some creative elements in it that might warrant you checking it out. It available on Netflix and on DVD if you are interested.  So I hoped you liked my review. It's a bit longer than I was expecting but what are you going to do? Have you seen "The Legend of Frosty the Snowman?" and if you did what do you think of it. Tell me in the comments. I think discussion is a great way to never fall into a echo chamber so I'd love to start a discussion. Where does it rank with the other Frosty special? And what are some of your favorite Christmas specials that not that many people talk about? Do you have any ideas for things for me to review in the future? Leave all of that or any other thoughts in the comments down bellow and feel free to fav and follow if you liked the review. As you can hopefully see I put a lot of thought and time into so I would be very appreciative. I'll be back next Friday for the finale of "Deviant-cember." with the "2016 year in REVIEW!" Hopefully see you guys then and have a great holiday. (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/The-Legend-of-Frosty-the-Snowman-REVIEW-652910204 DA LINK

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World Class Free Film School - Lesson 1 - Sign Zee Papers!

Welcome to World Class Free Film School!

In the following series of articles of we will impart the hard-won knowledge that we have gained as successful independent digital filmmakers. And (drumroll puh-leaze!) we will do this for FREE!

Now, why would we do such a thing for free? Well, because we're sweethearts. Because we love you and want you to succeed in this sometimes tricky and crazy thing called The Film Industry.

Now, there are many fine filmmaking schools in this big old world. Places where an aspiring director or producer can attend to learn many of the skills necessary to make a film.

There are also many excellent books out there that you can read that will give you all of the essentials to make a film. Unfortunately, for the poor huddled masses, these film schools and books will cost an initial investment of time and money. This amount you end up spending may be in the thousands of dollars. Now, there is nothing wrong with you spending money to educate you. Perhaps some film schools may actually help improve your chances of getting a job in the industry too, however...

Almost without exception, the graduates of these film schools will go on to find out that making their first few films as Directors will end up costing them several thousands of dollars more. They'll learn the hard way that precious few filmmakers ever see any kind of return on the money they've put up for funding their first few films.

That has been the reality of the situation for the independent filmmaker, up until now. There have been way too many stories told of those starry-eyed wannabe directors who begged, borrowed, or stole to produce their first few flops. At the end those sad stories, the tragedy is they never actually finished their first film. Maybe they never got started. Maybe they ran out of patience or time. Or maybe they ran over-budget, found themselves financially in the hole, bereft of family and friends for favors they could not repay. End result? Oh, I don't know, maybe you end up a bitter ex-filmmaker, working a crappy day job, nursing a sore ego while feeling like a huge failure after spending so much dang money on film school.

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You'll gain the perspective of the lessons that I've won and follow me step by step as I explain to you how I wrote, directed, and produced my first money-making film and went on using that as seed money to grow an income generating film library. You'll learn the tips and tricks of creating film revenue streams while satisfying that creative spirit which brought you to this page in the first place. These revenue streams will allow you build your filmmaking equipment arsenal, fund, produce and self-distribute more of the same revenue streams, and, yes, allow you the financial freedom to produce the occasional non-commercial short film, without giving a fig about where the funding will come from!

Interested? Good! Check back frequently! This is a work in progress, and it will evolve as we go happily skipping down the danger-strewn yellow brick road together in this crazy thing called show-biz. I'm looking forward to sharing and giving back some of the knowledge and experiences that have allowed me to proclaim myself a successful filmmaker. Yes indeed, sometimes I puff out my chest and shout my barbaric yawp; "I am a successful FILMMAKER, dammit!" I admit that I do get some funny looks sometimes too.

That being said, I honestly believe that at the end of this course, if you follow the tasty advice that I dish out for you, I have no doubt that you'll be able to shout the same barbaric yawp!

So, c'mon, jump in head first and follow me! You've got nothing to lose, and everything to gain. It's fun, it's entertaining, and you might learn something.

Best part is; it's all FREE!

Lesson 1 - Sign Zee Papers!

Ok, so you've decided that you want to make a film and you're not going let anything stop you. It's time to make like Nike, and just do it. You've got your crew all picked out and they said they would work for free (or almost free and a credit). They're all totally happy with the fact that you're making promises about what they can expect on the back-end profits. Everyone is confident that this film is a sure-fire win at Sundance, it's going to get picked up by a major distributor and everyone is going to get rich, right?

WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!

One of the biggest downers in this crazy business (and don't kid yourself, it is a business), is that it can make ordinarily nice people turn into totally greedy, insufferably egotistical, and absolutely insane monsters. This is no joke.

I don't know what it is, but one day you're buddy-buddy with someone who came on to your project two months ago to help collaborate, everything is fine and dandy, you're cruising toward that Sundance Award, then the next day, BLAMMO! It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This previously "normal guy" has been replaced with an alien who grew out a pod last night while he was sleeping. Maybe you hired him to shoot some of your footage and he still has the tapes. He was supposed to start editing them, but now he says he wants a gazillion dollar advance, he wants 50% royalty on all sales, he wants complete creative control, and... Wait for it...he wants DIRECTOR credit on the film that was initially your idea two years ago.

OK, this is one of the most important tips that I am going to give you. Before you do anything else; get it in writing! Step one; when you finish the script, get it copyrighted. You can do this easily by logging on to copyright.gov, paying $35 bucks, and following their directions. Step two: when you bring someone on to your film to collaborate, use a contract! Spell everything out completely and make sure you don't give up certain things, like ownership. Make the terms as favorable for yourself as possible. Remember, it's your concept, your project, your business! As a business person, think of collaborators as employees. Employees whom you appreciate, take care of, and share with, but still; employees. To drive a film to completion, someone has to be the boss. If they want to be the boss, guess what? They can make their own frickin' movie! Even if they are working for free (or almost free), you need to be able to fire them if, say, they turn into pod-people. Don't be afraid to terminate someone if you need to.

Make the contracts as iron-clad as possible. Spell out what you are offering them and what rights you will retain. Personally, I would prefer to pay someone up front on a daily rate, rather than to have them work for free (or for some pie-in-the-sky by and by). It's much cleaner. Pie eating contests can get messy. Pay the cameraman a reasonable fee and have him give you the tapes immediately after each shoot, if you're doing the editing yourself. Or, if that's not feasible, go with him to his studio, wait while he captures the footage to hard-drive, then take the raw footage with you while he does the editing. When it comes down to it, he who has the raw footage in his possession, owns it. Doesn't matter if you paid him or not. He shot it and it belongs to him his until he hands it over. All this is a very good reason to learn how to do everything yourself, if you can.

It's hard to shoot, edit, and act in your own film all at the same time. You will probably need some kind of actors in your movie. This can be expensive unless you're shooting a documentary. That's why I like making docs. The talent tends to be free. Even then, you should still take care of the people who volunteer to be in your film. Feeding them is nice. Credits are a must. A complimentary copy of the film on DVD should be de rigueur. I like to give the folks in my documentaries the opportunity to buy extra DVDs from me, at production cost (50%) and let them hand-sell them for profit at the set retail price. It's actually a good self-marketing technique. You end up with a huge marketing team this way. They make 50% profit and you make 50%. But regardless of whether you decide to share the wealth, or not, be considerate!

One thing about getting people to work for free, please respect their time! If you say that a shoot will start at a certain time, be there. Nothing makes an unpaid volunteer more upset than taking time out of a valuable day and be left cooling their heels for a tardy director. If you're producing a narrative, you will need actors. Key words: be professional.

Try to keep it clean and simple. If you're able to, use SagIndie for talent. I know that it's not always feasible, but if you can, do it. It's only a hundred bucks a day and you will get quality performances. You can learn a lot working with professionals too. Maybe you won't need to do so many takes. And usually you will get better results than if you use your Aunt Mimi as the leading lady.

Either way, make sure you get talent and location owner's to sign a release form. Make sure that you make the release as broad as possible so that you don't get caught in a "aha, gotcha!" somewhere film alta definizione  down that yellow brick road. No bigger buzz-kill than squabbling over something that is supposed to be fun. Remember, that is our definition of "success"? Having FUN? Well, follow the advice in this lesson and have everyone sign zee papers. Then have fun!

[starksinner]

Real With You

Summary: As Y/N explores the streets of Brooklyn in search of a bar, she ends up with a gun pointed at her head when someone notices her as Wade Wilson’s girl. But before Deadpool can swoop in and save the day, she decides to take matters into her own hands.

Pairings: Wade Wilson x Reader

Warnings: Flirting, Harassment, Drinking, Heavy Mentions of Sex, Violence 

“God frickin’ damn …”

Y/N couldn’t help but clench her jaw as she felt the heat of a man following close behind her. He reeked the scent of whiskey and pine.

The streets of Brooklyn were roaring that night as people crowded outside of gentlemen’s clubs and huddled in alleyways notoriously known for their sketchy activities.

She wore a long, red trench coat that fit along every one of her impeccable curves. Peeking out from underneath was a simple black, laced dress that adorned nicely with her skinny, black heels.

Y/N needed an excuse to break into the night again. She wanted a strong drink and the familiar smell of cigarette smoke and weed to overwhelm the oxygen in the air. She couldn’t believe she missed that life.

“… Girls like you don’t come walkin’ through Brooklyn free, darlin’ …”

“Well, I’m one of a fuckin’ kind …” Her eyes were dark and deadly as she spun around. Her black heels clicked against the sidewalk as she took a step closer to the man. “… and I’m just not interested.”

A rebellious smile crept up onto the man’s face as he seemed satisfied with Y/N’s wrath of anger. He took a step closer to her and chuckled darkly as the woman seemed unimpressed by his confidant stance.

As she glared at him fiercely, Y/N couldn’t help but admit how handsome he was. The neon sign above reflected a purple glow on his skin that sent her mind into a frenzy of flashbacks from all the men and women she would pick up at bars and clubs. But that was her old life, she wasn’t the same person; not anymore.

Her eyes scanned his face as she admired his features and the attractive sight of grey and black scruff that ran across his jaw. The man wore a baggy leather jacket and dark jeans that seemed oddly familiar, but she couldn’t seem to piece the puzzle together as the cold and need for alcohol grew her impatient.

“Look, doll … I don’t mean any harm, but I just ain’t seen anythin’ like you before … You’re absolutely … magnificent …”

Y/N couldn’t do anything more then sigh as she buried her hands in her pockets and turned away.

“I am flattered …” She spoke loudly as the growing winds whipped through her hair. She stopped for a moment and turned towards the man as he stood stunned in the middle of the sidewalk by her smoothness. “I’m flattered … but I’m taken.”

The warm sensation of a cocktail swimming down her throat made her skin tingle in an almost soothing way.

The bar was filled with a hundred different conversations as people sat, drank, and ranted about their normal people problems in hopes of making themselves feel a little bit better.

Y/N sat at the bar with her hands tapping against the wood as she quietly appreciated the old rock music humming through the speakers. Familiarity was coming back, and it was coming on strong.

“Hey - Miss. Red Coat …” The bartender suddenly snapped her out of her thoughts as he rolled his eyes and slammed a glass of whiskey in front of her.

“I didn’t order this …” She lifted her eyes up to the younger gentleman.

“It’s from an admirer, I guess … They also passed me this.” He wiped his hands on a dirty, old rag and placed a folded napkin in front of her.

Back door to your left. Go alone, sweetheart.

Her eyes drifted from her left to her right as she crumpled up the paper and felt a stinging sensation tickle her spine. She thought about leaving as her feet carried her to the direction of the back door, but her stupid curiosity won the battle against her better judgement.

The whooping cold of midnight caused her face to flush red as her heels tapped against the narrow hall of the bricked alleyway. She glared in the opposite direction of the street to find no person in sight.

“… It’s a damn treasure … to be in the presence of such a wanted woman …”

She tried to keep herself calm and collected as she turned and came face to face with a tall, muscular man with a pistol nudged between the waistband of his pants. A deep smile fell across his pink lips as his British accent tapped at her hearing.

“… I’ve always admired your story, but to know, you sleep and kiss and kill with Wade Wilson makes my curiosity peek … Why would such a talented woman tie herself against such a filthy man?”

“Because … I’m much more filthy then to what meets the eyes …” She smirked, jutting out her hip. “Do you wanna see how naughty I can get?”

“I wanted to, sweetpea …” Another voice emerged from the smoke. “You just didn’t wanna let it happen.”

Y/N huffed aggravatingly as the man from an hour before, the handsome man under the purple neon sign, emerged out of the darkness and stood next to the man with a gun.

They were Gregory Terraerton’s men. They had his cowardliness written all over themselves. He’d been running after Wade for years after the Weapon X program. She’d heard things about him suddenly having come back from the dead, but she had no clue he knew anything about Wade’s personal life. She had no clue she was under his radar.

Y/N slowly hid her hands in her pockets and scoffed as the tall man took a step closer to her and wiggled around his gun.

“I would definitely love to take you back to my place, Miss L/N … I’d appreciate for this gun to only pose as a weapon of strength …” He reached out and ran his finger down the neckline of her coat, smirking at the way he noticed her squirm for his touch. He slowly raised the gun and lingered the barrel near her temple. “I don’t want to kill such a precious thing like you …”

“Mhmm …” She moaned dramatically. “I’d love to accept your offer … but I have other plans then a good round of sex …”

“It’s not really an offer, sweets … It’s a - let me say - a deal against death … You can come with us and have spectacular time … or I can bring you to the man himself-”

“I love a good man who’s in charge …” She purred, placing her hand against the man’s chest. “But baby … you … you make me wet … from your blood splattered all over my clothes …”

Before the man could resister the truth of her whisper, Y/N swiftly shoved the tip of her heel into his shin, causing him to groan and loose the tight grasp of his pistol. 

She quickly pushed him against the pavement and held his gun, causing the man to struggle helplessly as she bent down and pressed the tip of the barrel to his head.

“You’re a horrible flirt.” She grinned sarcastically, admiring the scowl that grew on his face. “You repulse me - but I’m proud of myself that I got you thinkin’ you actually had a chance to get me into your bed …”

She stood up straight and flattened out her dress, still aiming the gun at his skull. “I’m not usually this blunt when I kill … but fucking damn - you ruined a hella’ good night for me.”

The gun shot without warning as the air around the alley shattered. 

The man with the dark scruff swore under his breath as his gaze fell to his partner, who’s blood and brains were smashed against the concrete and splattered all over (Y/N)’s shoes.

“I was wrong … he didn’t make me wet, but my shoe’s are pretty fucked.” (Y/N) tilted her head to the side and raised the gun causally to the man’s chest. He wore a horrified expression as he cautiously backed away from her and held up his hands in surrender.

“G-god … I didn’t k-know you were bat shit c-crazy …” He whispered shakily.

“Do me a favor, darlin’ …” She unloaded the pistol and let the remaining bullets fall on top of the corpse at her feet. “Make the message known to Mister Gregory … Don’t any of you dare fuck with me or Wade Wilson - or next time it’s gonna’ be all your head’s smashed against the fuckin’ ground …”

She expertly threw the unloaded gun at the man’s feet and watched as he nodded quickly and ran towards the street. All she wanted was a fucking drink.

“Holy fuck!” A knowing drawl echoed in her ears. As her bloodied heels tapped against the ground and she turned her head, she saw Wade walking out of the back door, dressed head to toe in his ‘work’ attire. “Baby girl, the fuck are you doing back here with this man with no head - I think - is this your thing now?”

“I called you thirty fucking minutes ago you, dipshit!” Y/N grunted, slapping his arm angrily. “I was fuckin’ drinkin’ all alone and you decided to come now? Were you waiting for me to have sex with the bartender?”

“Did you?” He placed his hands sasily on his hips, jutting his butt out.

“No. I didn’t. I should’ve, but I didn’t because I was too - busy - killin’ this fuckin’ asshole in your honor because - you - decided you didn’t wanna have some bathroom, bar sex with me, even though I was horny and vulnerable.”

“Are you horny and vulnerable now?” Wade stalked closer to her, placing his hands near the sides of her breasts. 

“No. Now, I’m horny and aggravated. Just fuck me against this wall right now before I smear that man’s brains all over your suit and call it art.” She took a couple of steps until her back hit the wall, her pull dragging Wade closer. 

“Did you flirt with the guy? Seeing you in action always makes me understandably hard …” Wade pulled off his mask and pressed his lips feverishly against her skin. She was dripping with the scent of alcohol and lavender; she was driving him completely insane.

Y/N shut her eyes and smiled, pressing her head against the wall as she groaned from the feeling of Wade’s hard-on teasing her core. “You know I did, but, it’s only real with you.”

[cb01site-blog]

World Class Free Film School - Lesson 1 - Sign Zee Papers!

Welcome to World Class Free Film School!

In the following series of articles of we will impart the hard-won knowledge that we have gained as successful independent digital filmmakers. And (drumroll puh-leaze!) we will do this for FREE!

Now, why would we do such a thing for free? Well, because we're sweethearts. Because we love you and want you to succeed in this sometimes tricky and crazy thing called The Film Industry.

Now, there are many fine filmmaking schools in this big old world. Places where an aspiring director or producer can attend to learn many of the skills necessary to make a film.

There are also many excellent books out there that you can read that will give you all of the essentials to make a film. Unfortunately, for the poor huddled masses, these film schools and books will cost an initial investment of time and money. This amount you end up spending may be in the thousands of dollars. Now, there is nothing wrong with you spending money to educate you. Perhaps some film schools may actually help improve your chances of getting a job in the industry too, however...

Almost without exception, the graduates of these film schools will go on to find out that making their first few films as Directors will end up costing them several thousands of dollars more. They'll learn the hard way that precious few filmmakers ever see any kind of return on the money they've put up for funding their first few films.

That has been the reality of the situation for the independent filmmaker, up until now. There have been way too many stories told of those starry-eyed wannabe directors who begged, borrowed, or stole to produce their first few flops. At the end those sad stories, the tragedy is they never actually finished their first film. Maybe they never got started. Maybe they ran out of patience or time. Or maybe they ran over-budget, found themselves financially in the hole, bereft of family and friends for favors they could not repay. End result? Oh, I don't know, maybe you end up a bitter ex-filmmaker, working a crappy day job, nursing a sore ego while feeling like a huge failure after spending so much dang money on film school.

Are you ready for a paradigm shift? This is where World Class Free Film School is different! Here, you can learn all of the technical information for producing an independent film while NOT breaking the bank! In this free on-line film school, you will learn the basic principles of pre-production, production, and post. You will walk the path of a successful independent filmmaker and discover a self sustaining business model that I've followed from day one in the business.

You'll gain the perspective of the lessons that I've won and follow me step by step as I explain to you how I wrote, directed, and produced my first money-making film and went on using that as seed money to grow an income generating film library. You'll learn the tips and tricks of creating film revenue streams while satisfying that creative spirit which brought you to this page in the first place. These revenue streams will allow you build your filmmaking equipment arsenal, fund, produce and self-distribute more of the same revenue streams, and, yes, allow you the financial freedom to produce the occasional non-commercial short film, without giving a fig about where the funding will come from!

Interested? Good! Check back frequently! This is a work in progress, and it will evolve as we go happily skipping down the danger-strewn yellow brick road together in this crazy thing called show-biz. I'm looking forward to sharing and giving back some of the knowledge and experiences that have allowed me to proclaim myself a successful filmmaker. Yes indeed, sometimes I puff out my chest and shout my barbaric yawp; "I am a successful FILMMAKER, dammit!" I admit that I do get some funny looks sometimes too.

That being said, I honestly believe that at the end of this course, if you follow the tasty advice that I dish out for you, I have no doubt that you'll be able to shout the same barbaric yawp!

So, c'mon, jump in head first and follow me! You've got nothing to lose, and everything to gain. It's fun, it's entertaining, and you might learn something.

Best part is; it's all FREE!

Lesson 1 - Sign Zee Papers!

Ok, so you've decided that you want to make a film and you're not going let anything stop you. It's time to make like Nike, and just do it. You've got your crew all picked out and they said they would work for free (or almost free and a credit). They're all totally happy with the fact that you're making promises about what they can expect on the back-end profits. Everyone is confident that this film is a sure-fire win at Sundance, it's going to get picked up by a major distributor and everyone is going to get rich, right?

WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!

One of the biggest downers in this crazy business (and don't kid yourself, it is a business), is that it can make ordinarily nice people turn into totally greedy, insufferably egotistical, and absolutely insane monsters. This is no joke.

I don't know what it is, but one day you're buddy-buddy with someone who came on to your project two months ago to help collaborate, everything is fine and dandy, you're cruising toward that Sundance Award, then the next day, BLAMMO! It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This previously "normal guy" has been replaced with an alien who grew out a pod last night while he was sleeping. Maybe you hired him to shoot some of your footage and he still has the tapes. He was supposed to start editing them, but now he says he wants a gazillion dollar advance, he wants 50% royalty on all sales, he wants complete creative control, and... Wait for it...he wants DIRECTOR credit on the film that was initially your idea two years ago.

OK, this is one of the most important tips that I am going to give you. Before you do anything else; get it in writing! Step one; when you finish the script, get it copyrighted. You can do this easily by logging on to copyright.gov, paying $35 bucks, and following their directions. Step two: when you bring someone on to your film to collaborate, use a contract! Spell everything out completely and make sure you don't give up certain things, like ownership. Make the terms as favorable for yourself as possible. Remember, it's your concept, your project, your business! As a business person, think of collaborators as employees. Employees whom you appreciate, take care of, and share with, but still; employees. To drive a film to completion, someone has to be the boss. If they want to be the boss, guess what? They can make their own frickin' movie! Even if they are working for free (or almost free), you need to be able to fire them if, say, they turn into pod-people. Don't be afraid to terminate someone if you need to.

Make the contracts as iron-clad as possible. Spell out what you are offering them and what rights you will retain. Personally, I would prefer to pay someone up front on a daily rate, rather than to have them work for free (or for some pie-in-the-sky by and by). It's much cleaner. Pie eating contests can get messy. Pay the cameraman a reasonable fee and have him give you the tapes immediately after each shoot, if you're doing the editing yourself. Or, if that's not feasible, go with him to his studio, wait while he captures the footage to hard-drive, then take the raw footage with you while he does the editing. When it comes down to it, he who has the raw footage in his possession, owns it. Doesn't matter if you paid him or not. He shot it and it belongs to him his until he hands it over. All this is a very good reason to learn how to do everything yourself, if you can.

It's hard to shoot, edit, and act in your own film all at the same time. You will probably need some kind of actors in your movie. This can be expensive unless you're shooting a documentary. That's why I like making docs. The talent tends to be free. Even then, you should still take care of the people who volunteer to be in your film. Feeding them is nice. Credits are a must. A complimentary copy of the film on DVD should be de rigueur. I like to give the folks in my documentaries the opportunity to buy extra DVDs from me, at production cost (50%) and let them hand-sell them for profit at the set retail price. It's actually a good self-marketing technique. You end up with a huge marketing team this way. They make 50% profit and you make 50%. But regardless of whether you decide to share the wealth, or not, be considerate!

One thing about getting people to work for free, please respect their time! If you say that a shoot will start at a certain time, be there. Nothing makes an unpaid volunteer more upset than taking time out of a valuable day and be left cooling their heels for a tardy director. If you're producing a narrative, you will need actors. Key words: be professional.

Try to keep it clean and simple. If you're able to, use SagIndie for talent. I know that it's not always feasible, but if you can, do it. It's only a hundred bucks a day and you will get quality performances. You can learn a lot working with professionals too. Maybe you won't need to do so many takes. And usually you will get better results than if you use your Aunt Mimi as the leading lady.

Either way, make sure you get talent and location owner's to sign a release form. Make sure that you make the release as broad as possible so that you don't get caught in a "aha, gotcha!" somewhere down that yellow brick road. No bigger buzz-kill than squabbling over something cb 01  that is supposed to be fun. Remember, that is our definition of "success"? Having FUN? Well, follow the advice in this lesson and have everyone sign zee papers. Then have fun!

[mattbegins]

TW for trauma and PTSD

I’ve always had difficulty coming to terms with my various mental illnesses and this past year or so I’ve really had to wrestle with the notion of my (c)ptsd and my god it’s been so difficult but at the same time so worth it. It’s been worth it because I’m actually accepting this is something that’s happening to me I’ve been able to better understand myself and my limits and what I need to be doing to be true to myself and take care.

It also helps me realize that wow, I’ve been through some shit. It’s insane. Yes, so many people have things worse, but my bad is still bad. And no matter how it feels sometimes, it is the furthest thing from normal. I just kept pushing everything back and keeping clear of it and not dealing with any of that ugly mess inside, but now I’ve finally let myself be traumatized- meaning I’ve actually allowed myself to perceive my experiences as such- as trauma. It’s a bigger part of my life than I realized, and these past few months- hell, this past week- have been crucial in learning how to take my space to heal. I’ve had to make difficult personal decisions, as well as some easy ones, regarding the kinds of people I can have in my life because of their actions and words. I’m no longer putting it on myself to adjust to the way people are or suppress my trauma and trauma responses to make room for them because when the bad parts of people outweigh the good, when they push my limits and don’t stop- I can’t keep ignoring those signs and silencing the alarms in my head. So I quit doing it. Just like that.

And I feel so good.

This week I was having a really rough time dealing with some things that had happened to me recently and it was starting to show while I was at work and I eventually looked a coworker in the eye and outright explained “I have PTSD” and the wave of anxiety and relief was borderline paralysing because I’d never really said it, and saying it made it real, and she just looked back at me and said “I’m so sorry. I understand that’s a difficult thing to have happen to you. Let me know if there’s anything we can do to help, okay?”

And that was just jarring- not because of the overwhelming support I was getting for this, but because suddenly my PTSD wasn’t a part of me, it was something I was dealing with, it is something that ‘happened’ to me, and it didn’t happen because of me, it happened because of other people and what they’ve done to me and what they’ve done around me. My PTSD, my trauma, while mine, is not my fault. I learned that now.

It’s not because I’m weak, it’s not because I’ve failed, it’s because it happened to me. It is a difficult thing to have happen to anyone, and it happened to me, but it’s not any fault of my own.

My responses to certain things may come across as abnormal, but they are the result of trauma. And I now know they are also how I deal with that trauma. And I now know it is no one else’s place to criticize my reactions and tell me to change them to suit the needs of others or be ‘normal’. If I need to sleep with a table against my door or not be touched on my shoulders or stop talking for a bit then that’s okay. I know they’re not ‘normal’, but neither is what I’m going through or what I’ve gone through, and if I try to act normal then I’m ignoring the problem and I’m ignoring my solutions. Avoidance, I’ve discovered, is the most unhealthy symptom of my PTSD. So I’m done avoiding my trauma. I’m accepting and acknowledging it. Because that’s the only way I can fully heal and learn to live with it one frickin day at a time.

I’ve been through some shit. Awful, unfair things have been done to me. I have PTSD. And I will deal with my trauma in the ways that are right for me, not in the way others want me to or think I should. I get to decide what’s healthy for me. Maybe that means driving half an hour for lavender honey ice cream. Maybe that means a physical barricade from the outside world because I need a space I’m in full control of in order to work through my sudden surge of debilitating fear and paranoia. And that’s fine.

It’s so difficult sometimes, but I’m learning so quickly now that I’ve allowed myself to have these feeling and validate myself and my struggles. I haven’t had anything worse happen to me than what happened last week, and my PTSD knocked me down so hard I didn’t know how to get back up. But I looked the monster in the eye and stood up and god, these past few days have been the healthiest I’ve felt in so long and in so many regards.

I’m doing so good. And I’m so proud of myself.

That’s new. And I’m not letting go of that any time soon.

[latestnews2018-blog]

'The Bachelorette' Provides A Case Study On What Big Dick Energy Isn't

New Post has been published on https://latestnews2018.com/the-bachelorette-provides-a-case-study-on-what-big-dick-energy-isnt/

'The Bachelorette' Provides A Case Study On What Big Dick Energy Isn't

Thanks to the whirlwind romance of Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, many pop culture fans have spent the past few days trying to satisfactorily define the phrase “big dick energy.” It’s not literally about junk size — it’s about attitude. Cultural critics have pointed to a sense of quiet, untroubled confidence, a laid-back sensuality. 

But sometimes, the easiest path to comprehension is through understanding what a concept is not. If you want to know what “big dick energy” is not, Monday night’s episode of “The Bachelorette” provided an excellent case study.

Please turn your attention to Chris Randone, a 30-year-old sales trainer with a fascinating hairline and a taste for tequila and water (double water).

Chris garnered an early one-on-one date with lead Becca Kufrin, where the two wrote songs with Richard Marx and opened up about painful pasts. And during this week’s group date ― which made use of his new songwriting skills, as the group of men wrote versions of “Danke Schoen” under Wayne Newton’s shrewd gaze ― Chris was feeling himself. He’d had one-on-one time with Becca! They had a connection! 

ABC/Paul Hebert

Becca and Chris during a group date with entertainer Wayne Newton on “The Bachelorette.”

Flush with confidence, he decided to let Becca come to him during the evening afterparty. When she didn’t, and he ended the night without a rose or any alone time with her, his apparently rock-solid assurance crumbled into gravel.

He spent the rest of the episode treating the other suitors and the cameras to feverish monologues about whether he should just go home, why Becca doesn’t like him anymore, and his confusion that she would give up on such a great guy. During the cocktail party preceding the rose ceremony, he insisted on speaking to her on three separate occasions ― although, after the first conversation, it’s clear that she is no longer interested in spending more time with him that night. In each talk, he only succeeds in unmistakably conveying his desperation. 

Chris gets the rose, yes. But his lurches between try-hard swagger, childish sulking and overbearing desperation paint a fairly complete image of anti-BDE.

It’s all bluster, no substance; all cockiness, no confidence. 

ABC/Paul Hebert

On HuffPost’s “Here to Make Friends” podcast, Claire Fallon and guest Kate Dries picked apart Chris’ collapse:

Claire Fallon: It’s time for the cocktail party. Chris has been …

Kate Dries: … freaking out.

Fallon: But Becca grabs him first. It sounded like she was saying, “Chris, I need you to see me after class.” It’s like, the deputy principal walks up to you, and you’re like, “Oh man, did she find that vodka bottle in my locker?”

Dries: There’s something that drives me crazy about these “can I steal you” conversations, where the lead will never really interject between two people fighting. I assume it’s a combination of, like, they don’t want to look bitchy. And I’m sure production is like, let stuff play out. Don’t show favoritism as much as possible.

Fallon: I would also wonder if, as a lead, you want to know how both parties are actually going to handle it.

Dries: I think it must be just a combination of things, but I get so annoyed. So Chris has his time or whatever …

Fallon: I’m sorry, we have to talk about his time. Because as they sit down, he’s like, “I think you owe me 50,000 kisses.” And she’s like, “Excuse me? I sat down to give you a talking to, and you’re telling me that I owe you physical favors? Not a great start.”

They both try to talk about the group date incident, and it’s clear that they both feel aggrieved about how the other person acted, and he does not reassure her adequately at all. 

Dries: Yeah, he freaked out! They always have these freakouts. There’s one or two people every season who forget this is what they signed up for. 

Fallon: I mean, it’s an insane show. Obviously if you’re dating a person and you both are at a party and neither of you goes to talk to the other person, you might both have a case for being pissed. But in this case, she’s dating all these people. That’s the agreement. She’s going to give time to people who seek her out, and she has a lot of other things on her plate. It’s his one job to try to get time with her. That’s it. He didn’t do it. 

Dries: They have all this frickin’ time, it doesn’t go the way he wants, and then he goes back for more. 

Fallon: He can’t just say “I’m sorry.” He can’t say “It was stupid of me and I’ve learned from it.” Instead he’s like, “I don’t think you get how much I like you.”

Dries: Right, and if she doesn’t understand, it’s your job to demonstrate better.

Fallon: Finally she just walks away. 

Fallon: So we get another Chris and Becca conversation. Chris is saying some wild stuff. He’s like, “I’m the guy who’s genuinely here for the right reasons and ready to commit to the idea of being with Becca.” 

She says, “So, if you feel so strongly for me, why were you ready to jump ship the other night?”

And he’s like, “Well, it was the first obstacle, so I just thought maybe I wouldn’t try anymore.” Which is a really reassuring thing to hear from your future partner, that the first obstacle they’re like, maybe I’ll just throw in the towel, if there aren’t seven producers there to make me keep going. 

Dries: Yeah. Not worth it.

Fallon: She’s just staring blankly into space. Finally, he’s like, “Look at me. Do you see potential in me? No lie.” And she doesn’t respond.

Dries: I really would not have predicted that Chris would have been ― this whole episode was about him. The two-on-one was almost an afterthought, and usually the two-on-one is the big thing.

Fallon: He ends this conversation still unhappy, because Becca looks like you might look like during an actual breakup conversation. She can’t make eye contact with him. Her jaw is set.

He’s like, “If this one thing will jeopardize what we have, that will be the most devastating thing that could happen to both of us.”

Dries: Mmm. Love when people speak for me.

Fallon: It’s time for the rose ceremony, and shockingly, Chris does not go home. She has this tendency to see a guy really fuck up, and be very direct ― “I’m not happy with this, this was a big red flag” ― and then just keep them.

Dries: We don’t know that much about Becca, I don’t know her, but we saw that with her ex-boyfriend. They were together for a long-ass time and it seems like he was big dick for a lot of it, and she gave him a lot of chances. Clearly she did that with Arie too. … I think she’s just too nice.

Dries: At this point, she and Chris have only bad energy, and it doesn’t even seem like she’s sexually attracted to him, the way she is with Colton. And she has all that drama with [Colton], but she’s trying to overcome it …

Fallon: That I understand. She’s blinded by his big shiny teeth and his big goofy chin. She wants to put her face all over it. I get that! That’s an impulse I understand.

Dries: Right, but she and Chris just seem like polite acquaintances, kind of.

Fallon: It’s like having that horrible breakup conversation with someone you weren’t even dating, and in fact are not even friends with.

For more on Chris, and the rest of this week’s “The Bachelorette,” listen to “Here to Make Friends”:

Do people love “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette” and “Bachelor in Paradise,” or do they love to hate these shows? It’s unclear. But at “Here to Make Friends,” we both love and love to hate them — and we love to snarkily dissect each episode in vivid detail. Podcast edited by Nick Offenberg.

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D-Teens and Alcohol: No Bull from Uncle Wil

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-in-children-and-teens/d-teens-and-alcohol-no-bull-from-uncle-wil/

D-Teens and Alcohol: No Bull from Uncle Wil

Today, we bring you a special edition of our weekly advice column, Ask D'Mine. Your host, type 1 diabetes author and educator Wil Dubois has a few things to say about drinking with diabetes.

Got questions? As usual, email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Uncle Wil on Alcohol Consumption

One of my type 1 patients is in jail today. Something involving a firearm and a bottle of whiskey downtown. He was so drunk he was shooting into the air.

He's 15 years old.

Before this happened, his mother had specifically asked me not to talk to him about diabetes and alcohol. He wasn't that kind of boy, you see. She was afraid I might put ideas in his head. Ideas that were apparently very much there already. Ideas with no facts and information to balance them.

So today, instead of our usual Q&A format, I'm writing today's Ask D'Mine as an open letter to all my little brothers and sisters. To tell you what I should have told him.

Dear Type 1 Teens and College-types:

Today I'm going to teach you how to get wasted safely. I'm not saying you should. I'm not saying I want you to. But if you are going to, I want you to know the dangers, and I want you to know how to do it right.

Why? Because no one else will frickin' tell you. Your parents won't. Your grandparents won't. Your doctors won't. Your educators won't. Your teachers won't. Your priests won't. But I will.

I call all young type 1s my little brothers or sisters, but I today I'm thinking of you as my nieces and nephews. Yep, I'm the Uncle your mother really wishes would just join the Merchant Marines and never visit until after you're all grown up. I'm the perceived bad influence. The tattooed guy who swears, smokes, drinks, flirts with all the women in the room, and makes politically incorrect jokes.

But God puts people into families for a reason. And the black-sheep uncle has an important role to fill: the adult who cares but does not judge.

To drink safely you need to first understand how alcohol affects you and me differently than it does the sugar-normals. Do you know anything about your liver? It does all kinds of things for your body. It has more than 500 different functions, actually. But most importantly to our discussion today: It's a blood filter. It removes toxins from your blood. Toxins like alcohol.

But the liver only does one thing at a time. Everyone and everything else just has to take a number and stand in line until it's finished the job at hand. And on that list of 500 jobs is "remove excess insulin." Unless, of course, alcohol is in line first. Then the insulin just builds up in your blood while your liver is dealing with the alcohol. It takes hours for the liver to "clear" a good binge, and all that time the insulin stays in your system. It's like taking an extra shot of basal. Big-time hypos hit 8-10 hours downstream from last call, when you're sleeping it off.

Oh, and when you've been drinking, your body will respond more sluggishly to the treatment of those lows. The rebound will be a lot slower than you're used to. So don't panic, just be prepared for a 2-3 times longer "recovery" than you'd experience with sober lows. Booze also reduces your awareness of lows overall, and sometimes even triggers a temporary state of hypoglycemia unawareness. So be aware that you may not be aware, OK?

If you want to learn more about the biology of booze, check this out. But the important message is that booze screws with your diabetic body differently than it does for all your non-D friends. And you need to plan for that fact.

So Uncle Wil, you ask, how do I get totally shit-faced drunk off my ass safely? Look, the only way to play Russian Roulette safely is with an empty gun. Oh dear. Now I've gone and introduced your impressionable little minds to Russian Roulette, too. Your mother is going to throw me out of the house.

The stone cold sober truth: for people with type 1 diabetes, there is no safe way to get four sheets to the wind. Hang on! Keep reading! I know that sounds like a typical "adult" cop-out answer. But it's true, and it's why most adults just throw in the towel at this point and say "Just don't drink!" But I'm a realist. I know you will still get wasted, no matter what the risks.

I don't have any magic bullets, or secret formulas to let you binge in safety. No two young type 1s are alike, and no two binges are alike. That said, here are my tips for making this dangerous undertaking as safe as possible. Three things to consider before the first sip -

One: To bolus or not to bolus? Should you bolus for beer or mixers? Both have carbs. Sometimes a lot of carbs. Logically, you should cover those carbs. But the alcohol in the drink will supersize the insulin downstream, remember? What to do? There's no right answer here, and the drunker you get, the worse you'll count carbs, the worse you'll calculate the bolus, and the less you'll care. I suggest cutting your bolus down. Should you take half what you normally would? A third? Sorry, I don't know. But some amount less should be in your game plan.

Two: To eat drink and be merry requires eating. If you're not throwing up, and even if you are, I think you should eat a snack before you sleep it off. Something high in fat so that it takes a long time to work through your system. That slice of cold pizza on the floor will do the trick. Don't cover it with insulin unless you are insanely high at bedtime. You'll want carbs in your system to soak up the insulin that the liver isn't filtering away.

Three: No alcohol and heavy machinery. If you're wasted, can you drive a forklift safely? No? Then what makes you think you can drive an insulin pump safely? Or a glucometer, for that matter? If you are really out of it, can you make good treatment decisions? Smart adults choose a designated driver when they go out drinking in packs. Is there anyone in your group who can serve in that role? If so, does that person understand diabetes well enough to help? Is that person reliable? Is he or she the kind of person that'll wipe the vomit off your hands and check your blood sugar at 3 a.m. while you're sleeping it off? Or will they be passed out on the other side of the room?

Well, that's it. Alcohol supersizes your insulin and sets you up for epic lows hours later when you're likely to be asleep. It blunts your ability to feel those lows, and slows down your recovery if you do feel them and are sober enough to deal with it. But you can lower your risk of all of those scary things by thinking and planning ahead and...Oh, crap! I forgot to tell you about the Zombies.

My tattoo artist has a glass case in his studio with a faux chainsaw in it. Stenciled in bold red letters on the case is: BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF ZOMBIE ATTACK. So let's pretend there's been a Zombie attack. Steps behind you is a shuffling, stinking, moaning mob of the undead intent on tearing you to shreds, drinking your blood, and feasting on your flesh. You barely make it to the case in time, grab the hammer, and... Crap! The case is empty.

This doesn't look good for the home team.

You know what? If you drink too many Tactical Nuclear Penguins, your glucagon emergency kit case might just as well be empty, too.

I bet your endo never told you, but, glucagon does not work when you are drunk.

A drunk liver won't dump its stores of sugar on demand. I'm not saying your peers shouldn't try giving you a shot if you have a seizure, but realistically, it won't work. When you're drunk, the break-glass-in-case-of-emergency cabinet is empty.

The only way to save your life if you have a severe hypo when plastered is to get an IV of dextrose in the back of an ambulance or at the hospital ER. So wear your damn medic alert when you go drinking—if the paramedics smell booze on your passed out carcass, they probably won't think to check your blood sugar.

The lesson here, my dear nieces and nephews, is don't let your drinking get to the Zombie attack point. Plan ahead the best you can. If you drink to get drunk—or find you're way well down that road—please get the carbs in and get the insulin out. If you're pumping, turn down the basal or take the pump off. If you shoot up and you haven't taken your basal yet, take less, or maybe even skip it. If you've already taken your basal, skip the fast-acting insulin and eat a snack.

Can you get drunk safely? No. Not really. But now you have the tools to do it as safely as possible, because I want each of you to grow up and become a black-sheep uncle or aunt for the next generation.

Much love,

Uncle Wil

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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