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loverandservantoftheahlulbayt · 1 year

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🍃🕊🍃 The Connection between Imam al-Mahdi (atfs) and Imam al- Hussain (as)

🍃🕊🍃 Part 2 🍃🕊🍃

🍃 Mohammad Ali Shomali 🍃

This paper is the second part of a series of three papers on the subject, initially conceived as part of a series of lectures delivered by the author in London, at the Islamic Centre of England in Muharram 1433/November and December 2011, entitled, "Spiritual Struggle of Karbala."

🍃 Abstract 🍃

No doubt all the Imams are connected to each other and reflect the same light.1

However, there is a special connection and affinity between Imam Husayn and Imam Mahdi, that is, Imam Husayn is very clearly connected to what will happen in the End of the Time (Akhir al-Zaman) when Imam Mahdi comes. Part I included verses from the Qur'an and hadiths to demonstrate this connection. This part explains why there is such a close connection between the two and why Imam Mahdi refers to Imam Husayn in his universal mission for establishing justice.

Imam Husayn as a central theme in Imam Mahdi's movement

Imam Mahdi's universal mission will include Imam Husayn's case at the top of his agenda. Imam Mahdi is not only for the Middle East, Arabs, Iranians or people from subcontinents; he is going to lead humanity.

The question is why does the demand for the blood of Imam Husayn stand out in the agenda of a leader whose mission is universal?

If Imam Mahdi appeared today and asked for the revenge of both the killers of Husayn and those who approve of the murder, this discourse would not apply to a major part of the world.

Many people have nothing to do with this. How many people today are either pleased with or involved in killing Imam Husayn? Most do not even know about him, let alone be for or against him, and therefore they have not made any position in favour or against him.2

So what changes are going to happen in the world that would make Imam Mahdi's central reference to Imam Husayn's case relevant to the global community?3

Thus another question arises What should be done today for Imam Husayn to become well-known so that almost everyone would take a stand either in favour or against him? That type of world is the world which is near to the time of Imam Mahdi's advent. The following is my humble understanding. Before I say what my understanding is, we should see how important it is in Islam to have justice.

The Importance of Justice in Islam

Justice is not a value or virtue equal in merit to other values or virtues. In Islam, especially in the school of Ahlul Bayt, justice is the most

important value and the central virtue. Divine justice is a principle of our faith, but it does not just remain as a matter of theology or something that we should know and believe about God; rather divine justice is to be translated into personal and interpersonal justice.

According to the teachings of the Ahlul Bayt, justice is a condition for every important social position. A political, spiritual, or prayer leader4 - especially the Friday prayer leader5 - must be just and knowledgeable. Judges and witnesses in a court must also be just.

It should be noted that Muslim and many non-Muslim ethicists hold that there are values that are always good and there are values that may have exceptions. For example, kindness is a virtue although there are cases in which it is unwise to display it, such as a parent showing kindness when his or her child is eating something which is harmful to his health or is watching a game instead of revising for a test.

Constant kindness to children may result in spoiling them, thus harming their personalities. Though kindness is an admirable trait, it should be controlled, as with other good traits.6

However, there is one value that all our scholars believe that has no exception and that is justice. Injustice and oppression is never allowed.7

In Islam, justice must be established within and without. Other schools of thought restrict justice to interpersonal relations I have to be just with you, and you have to be just with me. The government has to be just. The leader has to be just. However, in Islam, it is both interpersonal and intrapersonal.

People are to be just from within, with respect to themselves. If a person commits a sin, he has been unjust to himself:

"He who violates the boundaries that Allah has drawn and goes beyond them has oppressed himself."8

And this is why we say "Our Lord, we have oppressed ourselves"9; or in Dua Kumayl referring to our sins we recite "I have done injustice to myself."

We do not have the right to be unjust even to ourselves whether it is harming our bodies, wasting our talents, or damaging our own reputation. And then we are to refrain from doing any injustice to others, with unbiased treatment

"…ill feeling for a people should never lead you to be unfair" (5:8).

For example, if the murderer of Imam Husayn were here today and put on trial, our responsibility is to be just with him, even if he is an enemy

"Be fair; that is nearer to Godwariness" (5: (8)

In Islam, piety and justice are inseparable with respect to ourselves, each other, and even with animals. Imam Ali, who earned his status as an icon of justice, says

If I am given seven continents and whatever is under their skies so that I would disobey Allah by taking the peal of wheat from the mouth of an ant I would not do it.10

When Allah speaks of the prophets' duties such as introducing religious practices such as praying and fasting, purifying people's hearts through character education and it comes to a universal value, Allah says that all the prophets have been sent to establish social justice

"Certainly, We have sent all the messengers with manifest truths and gave them book and scale (which means law) so that people establish justice." (57: 25)

As implied in the verse, messengers were not sent to miraculously establish justice; they were sent to guide people with specific instructions to establish justice. Allah does not want to establish justice by miracles; miracles are to establish trust in people so that they believe in the Prophets, but then the believers have to strive to establish justice. It will not work in the way the followers of Moses expected, when they told him

"Go ahead, you and your Lord, and fight. We will be sitting right here" (5: 24).

We have to get involved. The prophets were sent for people to rise and establish justice. This is the central position of justice.

Dignity

Another fundamental value is dignity. Although many believe the right to live is the highest right human beings possess - and even though the right to life is important - the highest right that we truly have is the right for dignity. A person's dignity is more important than his physical life, since life has no value with constant humiliation, such as being caged up, treated like an animal, and merely accepting the food thrown to us. In this condition, the most important right is definitely not life. More important than just living is to be treated as a human being with honour and dignity.

Therefore, justice is to give people what they deserve, and on top of everything to give them their honour and dignity. This is the most important right. This is something that Allah has planned to be finally achieved. Without this, the world will not come to an end. Without having a day at least in which humanity can live with justice and dignity the world will not come to an end. That must happen in this world. The kingdom of Allah must be established in this world before seeing it in the hereafter.

The Role Model for Establishing Justice

The one leader who will succeed in achieving a life of dignity for mankind is Imam Mahdi. Reiterating what was said before, rather than miraculously establishing it, we are responsible, otherwise we wouldn't be waiting. Though he will certainly be the leader, he will need helpers, people who are ready to establish justice.

These helpers will have first established justice in their own souls and hearts, then with their brothers and sisters within their community, then extend that justice to the larger social sphere, and finally to other living beings. Those who went out of their way to accomplish it can ask the Imam to include them in his movement, a movement that will establish worldwide justice.

When those who will strive for justice want to get inspiration and energy, when they want to realize that life has no value without justice and dignity, the best role model for them would be Imam Husayn. Those who want to help Imam Zaman and prepare for his appearance and then support him to achieve the justice that gives all people their honour and dignity cannot do this without remembering Imam Husayn.

Imam Husayn has shown that although life is important, there is more to it than physical life. Concerning dignity, the Imam said the following part of a poem on the Day of Ashura:

Death is better than losing you honor

And losing your honor is better than going to hell.11

Yazid ordered the Imam to pay allegiance, and this could have saved the Imam's life and ensured him a decent living, that of security and the freedom to teach and worship. However, Yazid had one condition the Imam was to pay allegiance to Yazid, to which the Imam said

A person like me does not pay allegiance to someone like him.12

A person who dedicated his entire life to obeying Allah does not pay allegiance to Yazid, an openly immoral, unjust, and oppressive tyrant who was going to lead the society to adopt his ways. Imam Husayn believed that there is no value in one's life, even if one spends it worshiping Allah when one gives up one's dignity and honour by taking an oath of allegiance to a person like Yazid.

Far from us is disgrace. God does not accept this for us. The Messenger and the believers would not be pleased with that. And those pure laps (on which Husayn was brought up].13

Husayn, The Best Source of Inspiration

Those who want to establish justice need Imam Husayn. No revolution or reform occurred in the Shi'a world unless they referred to Husayn. People and groups such as Mukhtar, the Tawwabin, the uprising of the people of Fakh and to the overthrowing the Umayyad Caliphate all referred to Imam Husayn. Even non-Muslim reformers who knew Imam Husayn learned from him. Gandhi is quoted as saying, "I learnt from Husayn how to achieve victory while being oppressed."

The question arises Why is it that other reformers do not use Imam Husayn as their source of inspiration? Because they do not know him. It is our fault that a few non-Shi'as and non-Muslims know Husayn only by chance because there exists no systematic introduction of Imam Husayn's movement to all people.

Many of us prefer to revel in our gatherings and do things we enjoy and keep him for us. Many of us think or at least act as if we have some kind of monopoly over Imam Husayn. And we are not serious in saying that we want to promote Imam Husayn. That is the last thing in our list. We first want to enjoy our mourning gathering in the way we are brought up with and we do not care much whether outsiders understand or not, whether it makes sense to them or not.14

Imam Husayn is always a source of inspiration for anyone who is concerned about justice. Husayn would be chosen over other role models as one who sacrificed the most for dignity and justice. If Husayn is not revered, it is because he is unknown. If you know who Husayn was and what he did, it is impossible to take anyone other than him as an exemplar of genuine struggle for establishing justice and dignity. Who sacrificed for justice and dignity more than Imam Husayn?15

For this reason, when Imam Mahdi wants to call for establishment of justice, he will refer to Husayn. This makes it clear what he wants and to what extent he is ready to sacrifice.

The Requirement

At this point, the following question arises What needs to happen for Imam Mahdi to start his universal movement by referring to Imam Husayn? When can he stand between Rukn and Maqam of Ka'ba to say, "I am calling for the blood of Husayn to be compensated?"

This will only happen when Imam Husayn becomes the central point of reference in the world, when everyone knows about him, when the conflict between truth and falsehood, right and wrong, and good and bad people will take form around Imam Husayn. In other words, the movement will start only when people of the world will be polarized around Husayn.

There will be many non-Muslims whom due to their good-naturedness will take the side of Imam Husayn. There are many people in the west who will be among the best supporters of Imam Mahdi. Imam Mahdi would give everyone his right and would treat everyone with dignity; all people of good will would benefit, since Imam Mahdi will be establishing nothing but justice.

Sharing the Real Husayn with everyone

For Imam Mahdi's movement to start, Imam Husayn must become known to everyone. Everyone must develop an idea about him either loving Husayn for his stand for justice and dignity, or disliking Husayn as a result of being unjust to oneself and desiring to humiliate humanity. Those who commit injustice or usurp or violate rights of people will not be in favour of Imam Husayn.

When will this idea of people being either in favour or against Imam Husayn occur?

Not until the Imam is known to everyone. And it is not just a matter of publishing some books or booklets. We are to ensure that the true Husayn - not the Husayn that some of us currently show and represent - is exposed to press and eventually the people of the world. What is most important is to show the real Husayn in our actions, rather than in the form of propagation.

Imam Mahdi's mission to establish justice and equity is deeply connected to Imam Husayn's movement against injustice and humiliation by the oppressors. Before the advent of Imam Mahdi, almost everyone will know who Imam Husayn is and what he stood for; those who struggle for justice would refer to him as their role model, and those who fight against them would question Imam Husayn and his followers, and finally they would support and show their appreciation of what was committed by Yazid and his people and as a result associate themselves with the killing of Imam Husayn and his family members and companions.

In the next part, we will discuss how one can help Imam Husayn and trough that help the Prophet and Imam Mahdi. What is the real challenge for us today is to see how can we help Imam Husayn and through that help Imam Mahdi as he himself quoted from the Prophet saying "Whoever helps Husayn has helped me."

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🍃🕊🍃 Sources 🍃🕊🍃

1. Of course, because of the kind of condition they were put in, Imams can give us different lessons.

This is why we have the peace treaty of Imam Hasan and then the uprising of Imam Husayn. This does not mean that Imam Husayn is braver than Imam Hasan. They were put in different conditions and thus acted differently so that we have scenarios ready for all different conditions today. In addition to having the experience of twenty three years of life of Prophet Muhammad (s), the Shi'a the experience of leadership and guidance of the infallibles is extended up to 329 A.H, when major occultation if Imam Mahdi (a) started.

So we know what we should do in different conditions. We also have our scholars who specialize in understanding the teachings of the Prophet and his Ahlul Bayt and lead the community when they lack direct access to the infallible leadership.

2. Perhaps this is one way of understanding why Imam Mahdi does not come today.

3. It might be said that there are people today who seem to support Yazid. Either they praise Yazid today or, for example, they attack those who go for ziyarat of Imam Husayn. Thus, these are the people that are going to be the enemies of Imam Mahdi. However, I do not think this illustrates the entire picture. How important are these people? Although what these ignorant people who kill themselves to kill others do is wrong by any standard and in a sense they are supporters of Yazid and do like Yazid, this is not the main problem of the world today and these people are not the main forces of evil today. We must look at it in a way that can appeal to humanity.

4. Normally we do not find this in other schools of Islam. They believe they can follow the lead of someone they do not know in their prayers.

5. This is a distinction that many, if not all, scholars make. If you want to be the leader of a prayer it is enough if people believe that you are just, even if you are not sure about your justice or you do not believe that you are just. People can make the intention of congregational prayer and you make the intention of individual (furada) prayer. However, a Friday prayer leader must believe that he is just. If he does not find himself just then he cannot undertake the leadership.

6. Another example is about telling the truth. Sometimes maybe to tell the truth can cause serious problems and you have to hide the truth. And if not possible to do that sometimes you may be required to tell a lie. For example, if by telling the truth I put an innocent life into risk then I have to hide it or if it is not possible tell a lie.

Of course, this is to save an innocent life and not a criminal one who is going to see the justice. Or if two people like a husband and wife have problem with each other you should get involved to help and if it is only by telling lies that you can bring them together you can do so. For example, you can go to the husband and say your wife very much loves you and go to the wife and say something similar and bring them together.

Normally our jurists permit lying for reconciliation. This is different from what some people think and lie for everything and say it is allowed, because there was a maslahah or expediency involved. There must be something which in the sight of Allah is so important that it overrides the value of telling the truth, and these are very narrowly defined by jurists.

7. Sometimes people wonder why we pray to Allah not to treat us with His justice like the following supplication

O our lord, Treat us with your favour, and do not treat us with your justice.

This raises a question for them since they think this is an exception for justice while it is not. When we ask God not to treat us with His justice it does not mean that we want Him to treat us with injustice or be unjust to us. No one would want that. On the contrary, what is meant here is that we want something even more than justice. This is because justice has two levels. The first one is to give one exactly what one deserves and the second one is to give one what one deserves or more. In this phrase, the first meaning of justice has been used.

Thus, when we say do not treat us with justice it means that do not treat us as we deserve because we are worried that what we deserve is not good. Therefore, we ask for more than what we deserve. Notice that it would have only been injustice if we had asked for less. So it became clear that this phrase is not an exception for justice where injustice is allowed. You do not find any case in Islam in which injustice is allowed. You always have to be just.

8. Qur'an 6: 51. The Qur'an also says

"And they did not wrong Us, but they used to wrong (only] themselves." (7:160; 2: 57)

9. Qur'an 7:23.

10. Nahj al-Balaghah, sermon 224 and Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 40, p. 163, chapter 107, no.57.

11. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 44, p. 192, p. 196, vol. 45, p. 49 and p. 50 and vol. 75, p. 128.

12. Ibid., vol. 44, p. 324.

13. Al-Ihtijaj, vol. 2, p. 300.

14. Unfortunately, some of us have kept Imam Husayn in prison of our own community. We have not let the light of Imam Husayn go and reach everyone. When people want to know who Husayn was what can they do today? For example if you live in a neighbourhood and someone wants to know about Imam Husayn what would they do?

He would probably decide to go to the gathering of the lovers of Husayn and see what they do. Do you think our gatherings are in a way that if an outsider comes would benefit or would understand what Husayn ideas are?

Or if for example he wants to know what was Husayn's idea about family life, do you think by looking at our families they will realize what Husayn wants? If he wants to see how a child must respect his parents can he look at our children and find that out? If he wants to know how Imam Husayn was saying about kindness and mercy towards your neighbours, would he see that if he looks at the Shi'a neighbours?

When we don't show the values of Imam Husayn and we say we are lovers of Imam Husayn we confuse people about Imam Husayn. We don't let them to have access to the true and original Husayn. They look at him through us and, instead of being mirrors to reflect the light of Husayn, we misguide people. Of course, this is not about everyone but some.

15. For example, today people from all over the world respect Nelson Mandela because he struggled for a noble cause. He spent 27 years in prison calling for justice. We too have respect for him, but can we compare what he has done for justice and what Imam Husayn has done?

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🍃🕊🍃 al-Islam.org 🍃🕊🍃

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tonystarktogo · 6 years

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An Unwise Murder (An Inconvenient Survival)

Summary: “Someone within SHIELD sold out an Avenger. That was their first mistake.” When Avenger Steve Rogers is declared killed in action, everyone expects his best friend and fellow agent Bucky Barnes to go on a rampage. It’s the quirky mechanic with a sharp tongue and a secret talent for less-than-legal hacking that throws the whole agency for a loop. Featuring: A dead Steve (but when is Steve ever dead), a very pissed off, fucked-up secret agent Bucky (so basically your usual Bucky), and a very civilian Tony (who is exactly as harmless as you’d expect Tony Stark to be).

Read on AO3

Here is, as promised, the first part of the Double-0-Bucky/Hacker-Tony fic! To most of you, this part will probably be familiar already, but we have to start at the beginning *shrugs* and don’t worry, the next part will follow soon. Enjoy!

Part I

Funerals aren’t meant to be a pleasant event, so Bucky doesn’t bother to put on a show.

His face could be carved in stone for all the emotion it conveys, and his muscles are tense, coiled, trembling faintly with the desire to grab his gun and pull the damn trigger.

Bucky isn’t sure if he’d stop shooting once he starts though. Not with how many tempting targets currently surround him. Not with how it would finally shut Pierce the fuck up. People tend to talk a lot less after you’ve emptied a magazine or two into them — and Bucky has always been a man who appreciates silence.

Fuck, Bucky doesn’t even know what he’s here for. He doesn’t attend mandatory events. It simply isn’t done. The few weeks of the year that Bucky spends in his own country, he wastes drinking and sleeping around, often both at the same time. What’s to stop him from walking straight out of this impersonally sterile room filled with people he doesn’t trust, and go back to his favourite rundown bar to knock back vodka until he can’t feel the cold on his skin anymore?

Oh right. His best friend just got himself killed in action. The lucky bastard.

On a fucking nightmare of a mission in France of all places. If it had been Russia or Iran or North Korea or even just Sokovia (and really, it takes skill to be wanted by all four sides of the conflict), Bucky could have dealt with it.

But France? Bucky takes that as a personal offence.

Avengers don’t get killed in France. Avengers get killed the way they kill: brutal and messy, with no one left behind who’d bother to avenge them. Because justice is a fairy tale, and every act of peace is built on the actions of someone smart enough to wash the blood off their hands before they step in front of a camera.

At least the acknowledgements are short and free of false sentimentality. A whole lot of bullshit, sure, but it’s not like there is another choice. Not when the truth amounts to Steve Rogers died on a mission we weren’t authorised to give, in a country he wasn’t supposed to be in, over intel that we won’t admit exist.

Bucky doesn’t laugh. Barely huffs a a breath, but the people on both sides of him twitch tellingly.

Like all Avengers, Bucky has sought out the back of the room, where he can keep his back to the wall at all times, has a clear view on all available exists and a good excuse to keep an eye on the crowd of mourners.

The thought that one of them — multiple ones, possibly — are faking their sorrow makes Bucky clench his fingers against the urge to start an interrogation right now, Avenger style.

“Don’t kill anyone you might need to sign you off on field work again,” Barton mutters to his left, the words barely audible.

Bucky forces the tense muscles in his shoulders to relax, adopts an at-ease position that won’t fool the other Avengers, but at least won’t traumatise the attending techies and lawyers. The psych department always makes such a fuss when you break their precious, civilian employees.

There’s no point in fooling his colleagues though — if the Avengers can even be called that. It’s not like he meets them for brunch or goes out drinking with them in his downtime. They’re the elite of a internationally operating spy organisation for a reason, and it’s certainly not their ability to play well with others.

Just hours after having one of their own killed in a SHIELD-issued safehouse, all the Avengers are on edge. More so than usual. That the entire op smells like foul play all the way across the Atlantic does about as much to deescalate the situation as throwing a hand grenade into a room filled with weaponized uranium.

Someone inside SHIELD sold out an Avenger.

That was their first mistake. Their second was taking Steve out without killing Bucky as well.

There’s a shift in Bucky’s peripheral vision. Natasha Romanoff, codenamed Black Widow, looks as affected of recent events as she always does: not at all.

Is she the traitor? Bucky wonders as he tilts his head ever so slightly in acknowledgement. The rivalry between Black Widow and Steve is no secret. It isn’t a friendly one either, not that any of the Avengers are the sort of person one might associate the word “friendly” with. She betrayed the Red Room at eighteen. What offer would it take for her to turn on a fellow agent? An Avenger at that? Is she tense because she expects me to do this country a favour by killing Pierce or is she afraid to be found out?

The service lasts barely twenty minutes — unsurprising, considering how much isn’t said, can’t be said, because living within the specter of the highest security clearance makes for a shoddy eulogy — but to Bucky it feels like forever.

It doesn’t help that half the people around him are waiting for him to fly off the handle in either grief or blind rage. Blind rage admittedly being the more likely outcome.

It doesn’t help that the other half undoubtedly suspects him to be the traitor — who better to kill Steve Rogers than his best friend, after all? Especially when Avengers so clearly don’t have best friends — though Bucky can’t fault them for the sensible assumption.

He’d suspect himself too. The black hole that is four years of being held as a POW on his résumé hasn’t left him with what one might call a solid standing within the agency. Or a stable life in general.

Bucky has simply been lucky that Avengers don’t have much use for stability as it is. (Also, Steve was planning a revolt, should they stop attempting to recover Bucky. Not that anyone likes to acknowledge that. Pierce’s secretary still pales every time she catches sight of one of them.)

He’s been lucky that he’s too useful to be killed.

That might change now — Steve Rogers’ death changes a lot of things — but if it comes to that, Bucky will make damn sure to take the traitor with him. Another outcome isn’t acceptable.

And Bucky is very, very good at getting what he wants.

But first, he needs to find someone clean — meaning unaffiliated with SHIELD in any way — who can take a look at the USB flash drive he’s found in one of his dead drops two days after Pierce declared Steve KIA.

Fuck, but the first thing Bucky is gonna do when he sees Steve again is punch him in the fucking face.

Tony has always had an interesting way of making friends.

For example, Tony meets his best friend Pepper during a hostage situation when he’s sixteen. He’s never before seen a girl throw high heels at a guy’s head with such a deadly accuracy. Suffice to say Tony likes her immediately — and promises to buy her all the shoes she needs to knock stupid people down, naturally.

They keep in touch afterwards, and it’s the start of something great.

He meets his brother in all but blood much the same way, only Tony barely remembers that one because those kidnappers were smart enough to drug him before trying anything funny. Luckily, Tony has Rhodey for the straight thinking part — or at least he does after that episode.

On another, memorable occasion, Tony befriended one of his kidnappers.

In his defence: they were some pretty alright people, for being criminals holding him for ransom. No unnecessary threats or bodily harm, and they actually gave him drug-free food too. Also, you have no idea how mind-numbingly boring being kidnapped is. Well, not the getting kidnapped part but the staying-kidnapped-whilst-your-kidnappers-fail-to-get-their-money part.

Sadly, some people still believe that Stark Industries will pay for the disowned heir Tony Stark’s safe return. And usually they don’t react too well to being proven wrong. That time being one of those rare exceptions. In no small part thanks to a certain member of the crew whose identity Tony will protect until the day he dies. Or something.

Never mind.

The point is, Tony is used to meeting cool people under very hazardous, extraordinary circumstances.

Which is why — as he will later explain to a very exasperated Rhodey and an even more distrustful Pepper — when Tony locks up his garage at 7.40 pm after a long day of changing oils and busted tires, only to suddenly find himself face to face with a hooded stranger — after he’s already locked the doors, though he won’t share that part with his friends — he doesn’t panic.

He greets the guy — there’s a twenty percent chance Tony knows him, okay, hiding their faces as they track him down isn’t exactly a rarity — like a civilised person instead.

“Hi there,” Tony says with his best customer smile. “How may I help you?”

The guy — who definitely has more upper body strength than Tony, not that he notices or anything — doesn’t so much as twitch. He just stands there, body turned towards Tony, face shadowed by his hood. Tony really should have switched out the broken light bulb ages ago, maybe then he wouldn’t have to squint at his visitor like a sceptical squirrel, trying to make out the guy’s features.

“Anthony Stark?” the guy asks after a moment, voice low and rumbling, like gathering clouds on the far end of the horizon, as a violent storm approaches.

It’s that specific, unfairly nice sound that decides it: Tony definitely doesn’t know this guy. There’s no way he would have forgotten a voice like that.

Tony lets his smile brighten a little because if he’s about to be kidnapped — is it that time of the month already? Tony wouldn’t know, his last calendar sorta had a small accident involving a fire and DUM-E using up all the fire extinguisher on Tony rather than the actual fire. It was a pretty sweet, protective gesture, actually. Tony may or may not have teared up, just a little, but that didn’t change that half his equipment had to be replaced — then he’d like to start their working relationship on a good note. The kidnapping attempts tend to have less violent endings that way.

Additionally, Tony really doesn’t want to start a fight in his garage. This is his work place — which is basically holy, ask anyone. His cars are in here. They are not acceptable collateral damage, no matter what Pepper says.

“Do you know a Steve Rogers?” is mystery guy’s next question.

Which is a damn shame because it takes all of Tony’s not inconsiderable self-control to not tense at that particular inquiry. Steve Rogers.

God fucking damn it.

Tony forces the memories, the reflexive questions — a bloodied, broken body, screams of pain, narrowed, blue eyes glaring at him even as strong hands push him out of the line of fire — down immediately, takes care to keep his expression calm and clueless instead. He’s got lots of practice doing that. It’s just like being confronted with an obnoxious reporter who won’t stop bothering him with stupid questions about why he denies his father’s legacy. Bloodthirsty reporters, bloodthirsty assassins, it’s really just more of the same.

Tony has been handling shit like this since he was nine. If mystery guy expects him to trip up and give up even a single piece of information the easy way, he’s got another thing coming. Tony Stark doesn’t do easy.

Especially not when it concerns people he almost considers tolerable. Those gems are hard enough to find as it is — well, among the boring, totally legal working crowd at least — Tony will protect them with all he has. Not that he wouldn’t do the same for people he doesn’t like, he just wouldn’t be as happy about it.

Mystery guy is in for a surprise.

“Rogers?” Tony furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “That doesn’t ring a bell.” Close enough to the truth to count.

Then, the grin slides completely off Tony’s face and his eyes narrow in open suspicion. “Not that it matters. I don’t make a habit of handing out contact information to strangers who can’t be bothered to introduce themselves. Client privileges, I’m sure you understand.”

And yeah, some sarcasm may slip into those words, but can you blame Tony? He’s been working for almost ten hours in that special place reserved in hell for customer service, and, frankly, Tony is done with the world for the day. That he’s most likely dealing with what’s either a very diligent mercenary or a very strange kidnapper does little to lighten his mood.

Both options are far less appealing than mystery guy’s sexy voice initially indicated. Tony feels a little cheated.

“Oh, I understand,” mystery guy murmurs ominously.

When Tony squints, he can literally see the shadows behind the guy blacken. On an unrelated note, he really needs to stop binge-watching those horror flicks. Clearly it’s messing with his mind.

Not that this keeps Tony from bristling at Mystery Guy’s threatening tone — if anything, it has Tony reflexively square his shoulders because he does not fold.

Mystery guy snorts, and Tony has the fleeting impression that the stranger has the gall to be amused by him. He kind of wants to deck the guy just for that.

“I can see why he liked you.”

Something in those words freezes Tony into place long before his brain has puzzled through their meaning. By the time his mind catches up to the past tense that refers to a person it should absolutely not refer to, mystery guy has already taken a few steps towards the only functioning light bulb in Tony’s garage and slips his hoodie back.

The bleak light reveals a pale, handsome face with a strong jaw and icy, blue eyes. Absently, Tony approves of the way the hoodie has messed up Mystery Guy’s wild hair into something untameable and unfairly attractive, but it’s kind of hard to melt into a puddle of appreciative goo when you’ve just learned of the death of a friend.

Or well, acquaintance maybe. Rhodey always reminds Tony that he can’t just go around, adopting friends left and right just because he wants to. And with Steve it’s hard to say. The guy is almost impossible to read.

Still, it’s Steve they’re talking about. And whatever mess he’s gotten himself involved in, Tony doesn’t doubt for a moment that Steve thought he was doing it for the right reasons. He’s annoyingly self-righteous like that. It sucks even more when you listen to him rant and realize he’s got a point, not that Tony will ever admit such a thing to his face.

Which will be hard to do if Steve is actually—

Tony presses his lips together and defiantly stares up at Mystery Guy. Who is, in fact, taller than him. There really is no justice in the world.

“Who the fuck are you and what the fuck do you want?” is what Tony settles on to summarize the maelstrom of confusing emotions wrecking chaos inside him.

The man takes a threatening step closer. Of course, it’s not that hard to come across as threatening when you’re half a head taller and made of muscles and steel. Still. The guy could at least try to keep his looming on the downlow.

Not that Tony does him the courtesy of giving up an inch. This is his garage, damn it. No one makes Tony feel afraid in his own home.

Mystery Guy growls and there is a lethal coldness in his eyes that Tony doesn’t think a human should be able to portray.

“I was Steve’s best friend. And you’re going to find the people who killed him so that I can return the favor.”

Thoughts?

#ReRe writes #An Unwise Murder Verse #Tony Stark #Bucky Barnes #WinterIron #Double-0-agent Bucky #Hacker Tony #Mechanic Tony #Tony has a peculiar way of making friends #Bucky's social skills leave something to be desired #to be fair he's had a rough day #betrayal #AU #fic

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infinitxes · 2 years

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for @fushizens

In all the years of Satoru’s admittedly succinct lifespan, the tumultuous events of the past thirty-six hours could easily have been said to number amongst the most bizarre.

Granted it was all relative. His preliminary biography (one which he’d already decided was sure to be a best-seller) already boasted something of a cumulative reservoir of oddities; and there was simply no disputing that he’d lived through a good deal more than what might have fallen into the range of conventional for an adolescent barely seventeen.

An adolescent who’d regrettably been subjected to no insignificant accruement of ventures into his murder, utilisation or capture- all failed objectives no fewer in number than that which he could count on both hands and feet two times over.

But he was an adolescent nonetheless. He was Satoru Gojo, still green behind the ears and unquestionably unwise, only ever versed in the abbreviated notion of strength which had been spoon-fed to him since his conception. Satoru Gojo, who’d always danced with the concept of death, bold in the face of danger and phlegmatic only from a lack of true comprehension.

Ignorance was bliss. After all, to live separate from cynical reality was a comfort only afforded to the sheltered few. He’d taken for granted this careless and childish glee that was naivety, an accessory bastion so delicate and parchment thin. Then the blade had gone through his chest and the first inklings of cold, icy shock had seized him; surprise akin to striding out onto a sunlit pavement and finding oneself plunging into icy waters of indeterminable depth.

Satoru had floundered, promptly collected himself, then repressed the surprise and fear that had immediately threatened to swallow him whole. He’d found himself in unfamiliar straits and resolved to turn to that which was familiar and reliable.

Red. Blue. His Infinity was wearing at the edges, tattered from misuse and fatigue. Yet, his power had been far from trifling even in such a state of exhaustion. The courtyard lay decimated even as the assassin’s blade had plunged into his leg, through his ribs, into his throat- injury sustained beyond logical quantification for a mind so weary as his own, over and over.

He’d lost.

Satoru’s knees gave out, and all he could register was the rubble beneath his cheek, a veritable bed of coals pressing into every inch of his aching frame through his shredded uniform. He was certain that he was more wound than man, and his every nerve seemed eager to confirm that assessment.

He was going to die. This realisation imbued him with a novel kind of fear, one that he thought deserved more of a response than what he could physically manage. Regardless, all he could do was stare, wide-eyed and gasping as he awaited his certain demise.

But rather than deal him that final, unhesitant blow through the skull, his assailant had dropped to his knees and produced a needle that glittered in the light. Satoru was far too dazed to differentiate horror, relief or whatever it was that dawned upon him at the sight- but he knew in that moment that there were fates worse than death.

Eternity compressed itself into an instant. Blood bubbled over his lips, gurgling in his throat as he sucked in a ragged breath and tried to protest through the hand tilting his chin up to expose his jugular, lining up a needlepoint which he could not see-

A pinprick of pain.

Fading rapidly from awareness, Satoru slumped bonelessly and fell into the welcome embrace of oblivion.

In the end, he’d only ever been human after all.

#fushizens #ic:satoru #verse:TMMT #//exposition my beloved #//please do NOT feel obligated to match my length!!!

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hieronymuscrow · 4 years

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Hey Billy, where you going with that song in your hand?

To my ears it is clear that Niela Miller's song, Baby, Please Don't Go To Town, provides the original foundation of Hey Joe, what became Jimi Hendrix's début release. She taught it to her then boyfriend Billy Roberts. Billy changed the lyrics and claimed the song as his own, along with the publishing writes. And so Niela was shunted aside while the boys pocketed the cash. There has been a lot said about the origin of Hey Joe, but in the main it all revolves around the capitalist logic of who got paid. For a while Billy was parted from the spoils too, but such are the ways of the music business.

While Niela may well have deserved her share of the money, a far greater disservice was the silencing of her voice: she had something to say of far greater artistic worth than what replaced it. If the purpose of art is to render the human condition intelligible, then the removal of Niela's voice, a female voice elucidating a female perspective, was a great disservice to those who would seek to understand our world. What replaced it certainly holds a mirror up to our culture, but perhaps not in the way intended by its author.

Hey Joe has become probably the best known example of a genre of folk song known as the murder ballad. These songs are narrative accounts of murders. They would fulfil the role of informing people about events in bygone times, acting as cautionary tales. Woman are the subject matter of much of these traditional folk tales, often portrayed as patriarchal stereotypes: good girls waiting for their true love, or bad girls acting as a corrupting influence. The murder ballad would often see the good girl getting murdered for making unwise choices, perhaps by a jealous rival, or a poor choice of suitor; or the bad girl getting her just desert?

Hey Joe tells the tale of Joe murdering his woman because "she ran off with another man". What is striking about it is the matter-of-factness of the violence, there is no questioning of the legitimacy of killing someone just because they have decided to leave with another. Again we see the capitalist ideals of ownership and economic freedom, only this time taken to their logical extreme: the ownership and dominion over a human being. Through out the song there is no inquiry into motive or expressions of remorse, it is totally bereft of emotion: Joe murders his woman then scarpers to Mexico, seemingly incensed that he cannot be "free" due to the authorities wanting to get a hold of him. It's a terribly disturbing aspect of our culture, that a problem of the magnitude of violence directed at woman, can be treated in such a blasé manner. Hey Joe is basically a paean to toxic masculinity. So what about Baby, Please Don't Go To Town?

Niela's song also address infidelity. It takes on the form of a boyfriend interrogating his girlfriend, asking her about where she is going. In the opening verse the woman is quite open, even brazen, about going to a bar where she will get drunk and flirt with the men there. By verse two she is spelling it out, she is going stay with those "young Men... all to-night till tomorrow noon". But she also addresses motive: "tell ’em how my Man, he really puts me down". The song explores the idea that by crushing her confidence the Man has been the author of his own problems: she is seeking to boost her spirits making her amenable to the attention of others. The final verse addresses how this can make her vulnerable to the mores of male aggression: "one of those Boys is gonna do you in", the boyfriend warns, and he won't be around to protect her. We see the irony that women need men to protect them, from men. Billy Robert's compounds this irony by turning it into a song about the woman being murdered, ostensibly for what happened at the bar, by the man who suggested she needs protecting! This notion of woman having to be careful when going about their business is a prominent aspect of patriarchal control. The fostering of fear in woman makes them dependent, less capable of living their lives as they see fit.

As an artistic statement Niela Miller's song has a grater depth, and a more subtle exploration of human relationships. It doesn't fit into to clearly defined patriarchal sterotypes that have been used to define and limit female expression.

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etherealcannibal · 4 years

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❄️Sub Zero ↠⋟ Verse Overview

Canon ↠⋟

The strong willed Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, his path to such a title has not been an easy one. Indeed, his life seems to have been paved in tragedy. But he is nothing if not resilient, and despite his trauma he has now dedicated his life into the protection of Earthrealm.

MK11 & Beyond & Canon Divergent

Tundra ↠⋟

Before Kuai Liang became Sub Zero, he was Tundra. A troublesome Lin Kuei student who constantly questioned the clans teachings. Nothing he ever does seems to be good enough anyway, so why even try? Little does he know, fate has plans for him.

Pre MK canon up until MK9

Cyber Sub Zero ↠⋟

Captured and cyberized against his will, Kuai Liang finds himself now stuck in a body that isn’t his own. Free of the Lin Kuei’s programming, he battles to find his place in this world.

MK9 & Canon Divergent

Revenant ↠⋟

Resurrected to be Quan Chi’s puppet, this revenant is a man of very few words. Cruel and calculating, determined to serve and protect his master at all costs. Somewhere, deep inside, the real Kuai Liang is trapped inside his own mind, crying out to be free once more.

MKX Comics & MKX & Canon Divergent

MKX ↠⋟

Revived from his time as a revenant, Kuai Liang seeks to make amends for the sins of his past. A cursed dagger is a setback, but once again fate has plans for the warrior known as Sub Zero, as he finds himself accidentally becoming the new Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei. He now has a chance to restore his clans honour, and he will do whatever he must to ensure it.

MKX Comics & MKX

Cyberpunk ↠⋟

LK-52O was always glitchy, a robot that seemed to react to things in a eerily human way. When he’s sent for recycling by his former owner, a sense of self preservation kicks in, and LK-520 manages to break free. Now on the run from Lin Kuei Robotics, LK-520, now naming himself Kuai Liang, seeks answers about his new found sentience.

Alternate Universe

Five Nights At Freddy’s ↠⋟

All his life, Kuai Liang has displayed a sixth sense, the ability to communicate and see the supernatural. Now a paranormal investigator and accompanied by his own brother’s ghost, Kuai Liang makes it his mission to talk with spirits and help them move on. When he hears about strange happenings at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, he decides to go and investigate.

Alternate Universe & Crossover (In conjunction with Noob Saibot’s FNAF verse)

Ghost ↠⋟

He doesn’t remember how he died, just that it was agony and someone he had trusted did this to him. Kuai Liang now haunts the apartment building in which he died. Unable to interact with anyone he occupies his time spying on his former neighbours and helplessly watching his brother’s spiral into self destruction. If only he could find someone who could see him, help solve his murder and save his brother before it’s too late.

Alternate Universe (In conjunction with Noob Saibot’s paranormal verse)

Incubus ↠⋟

The life of an Incubus, by nature, tends to be a sleazy one but Kuai Liang is a lot more bubbly than one would expect. Flirtatious and charming, he uses his good looks and sweet personality to get what he wants.

Alternate Universe

Killer ↠⋟

A college professor teaching literature by day, but by night, Kuai Liang is the serial killer known only as Sub Zero. His deep empathy for others suffering has pulled him down this path, killing only those guilty of the worst crimes and making them face retribution. He is the cold hand of vengeance, and his judgement is final.

Alternate Universe

Modern ↠⋟

Bright and intelligent, with empathy to match, Kuai Liang is one of the most popular professor’s at the college he teaches at. A well known writer, with many best selling novels under his belt, Kuai Liang desires to teach other’s to unlock their potential. Everyone has a story to tell, and Kuai Liang wants to help them be heard.

Alternate Universe

Vampire ↠⋟

He lives a solitary life, tucked away in a large ornate mansion where he lives alone. Still Kuai Liang is a social creature by nature, and longs for someone to share his life with. But his vampiric urges are strong, and he fears spending too long amongst mortals will cause him to hurt people. He isolates himself for the protection of others, waiting for someone who can help tame the beast inside him.

Alternate Universe

Yuki-Onna ↠⋟

Should you be walking in the mountains, you may come across this man, telling you that he can help you to safety. It would be unwise to go with him. Kuai Liang is a spirit, bound to ice and snow, who wanders the mountains finding those foolish enough to put their trust in him.

Alternate Universe

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forthehunger · 3 years

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SHE, OF MANY GRACES

NAME: Ashara Dayne ALSO KNOWN AS: The Lady of Starfall, the maid with laughing purple eyes AGE: 18-20 (default range, but verse dependent) YEAR OF BIRTH: 263 AC ZODIAC SIGN: Virgo ETHNICITY: Southerner (Stony Dornishmen) ORIENTATION: Bisexual Biromantic (cis-female, she/her) HOMETOWN: Starfall, Dorne

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

FACECLAIM: Bruna Marquezine HAIR COLOR: Dark brown EYE COLOR: Dark brown HEIGHT: 5 feet 5 inches BUILD: Slender, willowy PIERCINGS: Ear lobes SCARS: Faint stretch marks on her thigh and a light discoloration on her right knee

RELATIONSHIPS

MOTHER: Unknown Father ✝ FATHER: Unknown Mother ✝ BROTHER: Arthur Dayne (The Sword of the Morning) ✝ SISTER: Allyria Dayne PREVIOUS ROMANCES: Brandon Stark ✝ BEST FRIEND: Princess Elia Nymeros Martell ✝

BACKGROUND OVERVIEW

Ashara attended the tourney at Harrenhal in 281 AC, the year she turned 18 years old. At the tourney, she shared dances with many ardent admirers, most notable of whom was Eddard stark, the second son of the Lord of Winterfell.

Gentlemanly though the Quiet Wolf may be, Ashara’s eyes were set on his brother, the Wild Wolf. At the tourney, she and Brandon Stark shared a few nights together, and before she knew it, the Lady of Starfall was in-love. It was unwise, to say the least. Lord Rickard’s heir was promised to another, though that did not stop Ashara and Brandon from meeting a few more times after the tourney had concluded.

Their forbidden trysts eventually resulted in a pregnancy, and by 282 AC, Ashara had to be escorted back to Starfall before her belly began protruding in earnest. Parted from the princess Elia, whom Ashara considered her dearest friend, her pregnancy became a bleak affair, punctuated only by moments of joy shared between her and her sister, Allyria.

When Lyanna Stark was pronounced missing and Brandon and his father murdered by the Mad King, grief overcame the Lady of Starfall. Her hours of excruciating labor resulted in a stillbirth, and a yawning abyss of emptiness opened up where her heart used to be.

Nevertheless, when Arthur sent for a midwife to help Lyanna Stark on the birthing bed, Ashara secretly journeyed with her to the Tower of Joy. There, she would reunite with her brother for the last time, though both of them were unaware of it. The she-wolf’s labor was long and hard and bloody, and when Ashara left to return to Starfall, she was under the impression that she would soon die.

Grief after grief followed after. Elia and her children mercilessly murdered, her brother killed by a man she considered a friend. Not even a day after meeting again with Eddard stark, when he returned Arthur’s sword to his family, Ashara jumped off of Palestone Sword and into the sea, never to be seen again. Or so the story goes.

IMPORTANT LINKS

Headcanons Pinterest

#info: ashara dayne #personals do not interact

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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years

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[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Twenty-One: Whispering ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Itachi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Divine Light ] [ AO3 Link ]

“Did you hear…?”

“They say the princess was kidnapped.”

“By her own servant, no less!”

“I knew it was unwise to have a mage so close to the royal family…”

“There will surely be a ransom!”

“Whatever will the king do?”

“He has another daughter, you know…”

“You don’t mean to suggest…?”

“Shh, you never know who might be listening…!”

Pretending to fiddle the cinch of his horse’s saddle, Sasuke listens to the whispering. Ever since the princess disappeared, there have been all shades of rumors, and there’s no truly knowing just how much is fact, and how much fiction.

But he has a plan…

“Ready to go?”

“Of course. Just sampling the latest gossip.”

“Anything new?”

“No, the same old stories...kidnapping, ransom, magic…”

“Well, if it’s been repeated so often, there may be grains of truth to it.”

“Here’s hoping - I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like rescuing a princess just for the fun of it. I’d much rather have a sack of gold than a king’s good graces.”

Itachi can’t help a chuckle as he mounts his horse. “In an ideal world, we’ll have both.”

“I prefer to keep my expectations low as not to be disappointed. What about you? Any leads?”

“Potentially. Rumor has it they may be headed northeast. Vaguely-matched descriptions.”

“Hm...makes sense. It’s the nearest border. If the mage wants to drag her out of the country, that would be the way to go. And yet…”

“What?”

Sasuke gathers his reins, the pair of them slowed by city crowds as they head toward the north gate. “...that almost sounds less like a kidnapping, and more like…”

“A getaway?”

“Precisely.”

“My thoughts, as well. Something tells me we may find this tale to be deeper than the tales tell. But there’s only one way to find out: we’ll have to catch them.”

“Then we’ve no time to lose…!”

As soon as they clear the gate, the brothers urge their mounts to a swift lope, wanting to whittle down the miles before sunset.

It’s an odd situation. The eldest daughter of the king Hiashi has been - according to most - kidnapped by her lady-in-waiting. Hinata, the princess, was given a mage a few years her senior as a child to serve as her protector and servant. The elder girl had been a gift: a prize from the conquered lands Hiashi had recently obtained.

Sasuke had always found the notion repellent: the gifting of a human being like an object. It doesn’t help that he and his brother as mages as well, remnants of a kingdom long lost.

Hinata was, for most of her life, kept contained within the castle grounds. But any rare glimpse of her always showed the mage in her shadow, hovering in what did indeed appear to be a defensive, protective manner.

So why, after all this time, would a loyal servant suddenly turn on her mistress, kidnapping her for reasons yet unknown?

...it makes only partial sense. True, she was originally introduced to the princess as a thing, a prize, a slave. Perhaps resentment has only built throughout the years. But something in Sasuke’s gut tells him otherwise.

But for now...the truth doesn’t matter. What does is that the brothers are expert trackers, and like so many, are in pursuit of the pair in hopes of a reward in glory and gold.

“They have a few days on us,” Itachi then offers, breaking Sasuke’s thoughts. “But we can’t assume they have horses - if they’re so sought after, surely they wouldn’t be foolish enough to barter in the open.”

“But we don’t know what arts the mage is learned in - perhaps she can cast illusions as we can. Use that to steal what she needs.”

“It’s possible...but I doubt it. Even that would leave a trail. If she’s truly serious, and at all cunning, she won’t run that risk. We can neither over nor underestimate her.”

“A bit limited then, don’t you think?”

“Precisely. We’ll have to be just as cunning.”

“Did you speak to the ravens?”

“Of course. They’re scouring as we speak. But even then, word will take time to reach us. For now, we keep moving.”

“And if your lead is wrong and we’re headed in the wrong direction?”

“It’s a risk we’ll have to take. Either way, they’ll be getting further from us if we do nothing. And I trust my sources.”

“...very well.”

They ride until sundown, tethering their horses off the road and eating spare rations.

“So if this isn’t kidnapping...what do you think it is?”

“...I can’t afford to make assumptions. We’ll find the truth when we find them.”

“And if she lies?”

“The princess will surely tell us.”

“...unless she’s an accomplice.”

“A possibility, yes...but we’ll have to wait and see. I know patience isn’t always your foremost virtue, but we’re going to need it.”

The next morning, they leave at first light, coming across a simple mining town along the route. Itachi pauses to hear the gossip as Sasuke regathers their supplies.

“Have you had any women traveling alone? A pair of them, likely harried?”

Gathering his requested items, the shopkeep hums in thought. “...that does ring a distant bell, aye.”

“When?”

“Two days hence. Seemed rushed, hoods drawn. We see plenty a’ strange folk ‘round these parts, so I thought nothing of it. Friends of yours?”

“You could say that,” Sasuke mutters, handing over the proper coins with a nod. “My thanks.”

“Learn anything?” Itachi asks as they reunite.

“Sounds like they were here two days ago - the man at the general goods shop remembers a pair of suspicious women.”

“Well then, seems we’re on the right path. If that was only two days ago...they aren’t making good time. They must be on foot - or at least were when they arrived. I checked the livery - no horses have been sold.”

“Then we’ll soon catch them…!”

With a renewed vigor, the pair flee further north, pushing their horses as far as they dare. And then, midafternoon, a raven cries, swooping alongside them.

Sasuke’s heart leaps. “What news?”

“They’ve found them. Holed up in a cave...there’s a barrier at the fore.”

“A barrier…?”

“It’s not far - let’s go!”

Urging his mount, Sasuke keeps on his brother’s heels. They soon abandon the road heading toward a cliffside.

“See it?”

“...I think so. Dismount - we’ll go in on foot.”

They tether their horses, keeping weapons drawn - Itachi his sword, and Sasuke his bow. No matter their hypotheses, they can’t afford to assume anything.

“It’s just there...see it?”

A large crack in the cliff looks dark, but as Sasuke stares, he can see the faint glimmer of a barrier - otherwise unnoticeable. “...how are we going to get in?”

“By making another doorway...be ready. This is going to be loud, but they won’t have anywhere to flee.”

Nodding, Sasuke tightens his grip on the curve of his bow. An arrow rests, nocked and waiting to be drawn.

Sheathing his blade, Itachi presses a hand to the rock and soil near the barrier. Rather than dismantle it...he instead shifts the earth around it to make another entrance. And as promised, it’s loud. Stone grates and a faint rumbling builds.

...but no one comes.

Once there’s a slim but clear path, Itachi leads the way in, summoning a small lick of flame to his palm. The fire dances, casting shifting shadows against the walls of the cavern.

“Stay close…”

They creep forward, tense and ready for anything. It’s utterly silent save for their muted footsteps, leather boots quiet against the stone floor.

“...are you sure they’re here?”

“Yes, I’m s-”

With a flare of energy, another barrier blooms...and this time, it encases them both. Startled to a stop (and unable to flee), the brothers freeze.

Slowly, out of the darkness, comes a woman: hands raised and aglow with magic. Determination shapes her face. “...who are you?”

“I think the better question is who you are, rogue mage. Where is the princess?”

“She’s none of your concern. Did Hiashi send you?”

“No...we’re here of our own volition to get princess Hinata back.”

“She isn’t going anywhere...and certainly not back to that wretched man.”

The brothers exchange a look. “...you haven’t kidnapped her…?”

“No...she didn’t.”

Two pairs of dark eyes shift to look further back into the cave. Hinata emerges from the shadows, looking wary but calm. “...princess?”

“I wasn’t taken from my father. I was saved from him.”

“...well, isn’t that interesting…” Itachi muses.

“If you’re here to take me back...I won’t go. Not unless you force me…!”

“I won’t allow it, my lady,” the mage cuts in. Eyes narrowing, she in turn narrows the barriers around them. “We can’t trust them…”

“Wait! The king didn’t send us - we came seeking a reward!” Sasuke rebukes.

“Then you’re driven by greed rather than blind loyalty? Hardly better.”

“But so too are we guided by our morals,” Itachi offers, giving Sasuke a warning glance. “If you were indeed fleeing for your safety...we won’t usurp that. But that does beg the question of what really happened, my lady. Perhaps we could be of help. We’re trackers by trade...which means we also know how to evade them.”

Sasuke’s brows furrow. ...what are you up to, now…?

“We still have no reason to trust you.”

“Wait…” Hinata cuts in, placing a gentle hand on her companion’s arm. “...perhaps we should explain. If they are men of their word...it would only help us.”

The mage glances to her, clearly torn. “...yes, my lady. As you wish.” Her magic fades, and the barriers fall. “...but if they make one wrong move...I’ll crush them.”

“I know you want only to protect me...but we need allies. Perhaps we’ve found some.”

“As I said,” Itachi offers, gesturing politely to try and ease suspicion. “If returning you would endanger you further, we’ll not do so. We were under the assumption you were taken by force.”

“No...I fled. We both did.”

“But...why?”

“...to escape my father’s plot to have me murdered...and to place the blame on my closest friend.”

.oOo.

Welp, this is...super random, and also has a really evil cliffy, I'm sorry! But it's late and the piece was getting long ;;;;; I'll try to do more soon if y'all enjoy it! But actually, this is based on one of my very earliest RPs...which actually helped me in the early stages of developing my original fantasy verse! It's been...gosh...a looong time since that RP, and a lot has changed, but it was very nostalgic to revisit this old plot. It was VERY extensive, but this is (sorta) how it began! Anyway, I'd say more but I am EXHAUSTED. I DID get another prompt up earlier today since I skipped yesterday and had some time today. So I'm a lil wrote-out, lol - so I'm gonna call it a night. Thanks for reading~

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #uchiha itachi #divine light [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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rockandrollstorytime · 5 years

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Rock and Roll Storytime #8: The Rolling Stones at Altamont (AKA One of the Worst Concert Disasters of All Time)

The year 1969 had been a hectic one, both for the world in general (with the continuing Vietnam War, the Chappaquiddick incident, and the moon landings) and especially for rock and roll (with the death of Brian Jones, Woodstock, and the Beatles starting to head full-steam down the road that led them to their break-up in April 1970). Capping off this year full of highs and lows, there was Altamont, which has been labelled by many as the death of the 60′s. At the very least, it certainly brought a premature end to the idealism that the youths of that generation held dear.

Lord knows, I will always say that Brian Jones should have had a chance to get back on his feet and I’m super salty that he’s dead, but honestly, I’m glad he missed out on this one.

Before I tell the story of Altamont though, I must ask… Whose bright idea was it to hire the Hell’s Angels as security for a Rolling Stones concert and pay them with $500 of beer?

Well, to answer that question, I’m going to have to begin this story with the ending of another. Truly, the roots of this ill-thought-out decision lies within events that had happened that summer.

I’ve mentioned Brian Jones already, but to give those of you who are new to this the rundown, Lewis Brian Hopkin Jones was the Stones’ first guitarist, and at the start, he was the brains of the band. Seven years, a bunch of internal conflict with Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Andrew Loog Oldham, a messy relationship with Anita Pallenberg, drug abuse and alcoholism, two drug trials, and a fuck-ton of stress later, Brian was in a state we’d call “mental exhaustion” (didn’t help that his physical health was shit too). Where in 1966 he was contributing some of the best parts of the Stones’ early music, such as the sitar on “Paint It Black”, in 1969, he’d rarely show up to the studio, and if he did, he would usually be too intoxicated to properly contribute. In fact, on Let It Bleed, he only contributed to two songs: “Midnight Rambler” (congas) and “You’ve Got the Silver” (autoharp).

In June 1969, the Stones decided they wanted to go on tour again, but then, they found out that due to the fact that Brian had twice been convicted of drug possession, it’d be unlikely that he could receive a visa to perform in the U.S.A., if at all. Ultimately, Mick and Keith decided that their best option would be to fire Brian, and so, on June 8, 1969, they went down to Brian’s home, Cotchford Farm, to tell him that he would no longer be with the group. According to those present, Brian had been expecting this, and in the various press releases, it was made to appear as if Brian had left the band on his own terms. His statement read, in part, “I no longer see eye to eye with the others over the discs we are cutting. We no longer communicate musically. The Stones’ music is not to my taste any more. The work of Mick and Keith has progressed at a tangent, at least to my way of thinking. I have a desire to play my own brand of music rather than that of others, no matter how much I appreciate their musical concepts.”

At this point in time, whether Brian was accepting of this turn of events or not is up to conjecture.

In either case, the Stones brought in 20-year-old Mick Taylor (previously of John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers) to replace Brian, and at a press conference on June 13, the Stones announced that they would be holding a free concert on July 5 in order to properly introduce their new guitarist.

And then, just three days before the concert was set to take place, Brian drowned in his backyard swimming pool, being just twenty-seven years old. Although the coroner ruled it death by misadventure (which personal research seems to support), theories have long persisted that Brian was, in fact, murdered, but that is, of course, a story for another day.

The Stones in the Park concert quickly became a tribute to Brian Jones, and at the start, Mick read two verses of Percy Bysshe Shelley’s Adonais, and as the band launched into “I’m Yours and I’m Hers” by Johnny Winters (one of Brian’s favourite songs), thousands of butterflies were released, though this was against park stipulation, as they were voracious Cabbage White butterflies, and many had died due to the boxes not being properly ventilated.

What’s important to this story about the concert at Hyde Park is that the London chapter of the Hell’s Angels was there providing security that day. It is also important to note that the Grateful Dead (who, incidentally, also had a member of the 27 Club in their line-up) had also hired the Hell’s Angels as security numerous times.

Several months later, the Stones had been having a pretty good run with their American tour, which was able to slightly mitigate some of the shady business practices Allen Klein had subjected them to, but throughout, fans and journalists kept complaining about high ticket prices. If you ask me though, those bitches were lucky. I’d rather be paying three to eight dollars (equivalent to $21.21 to $56.57 in 2019) as opposed to a minimum of $159 that tickets to a Rolling Stones concert now sell for. Not to mention, Woodstock had happened in August that year, and that was a big success, so in Mick Jagger’s 26-year-old, immature, unwise brain, that obviously meant that they should have another free concert like the one at Hyde Park. Really, in his mind, the peace and love movement was only just beginning, so what could go wrong?

As Murphy’s Law will tell you, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”

Oh, and go wrong it did.

The first major problem was that they couldn’t get a venue.

The concert was set for December 6, and their tour manager, Sam Cutler, struggled to get them a venue. He tried San Jose’s State University, but there had been a three-day festival recently, and the city wasn’t exactly in the mood for another batch of hippies storming the city so soon afterward, so that was out of bounds. He then tried gunning for San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, but there was a football game between the Chicago Bears and the San Francisco 49-ers taking place in the same general location, which made use of the venue impractical. He then tried getting Sears Point Raceway on board, but disputes quickly arose over filming distribution rights and an up-front fee of $300,000.

Finally, just two days before the concert was set to take place, the Stones’ management managed to get a hold of Altamont Speedway (it helped that the owner, Dick Carter, apparently offered the venue for free).

As you can imagine, there was a whole shit-ton of problems that arose from that, and Rolling Stone magazine, in its piece on the tragedy, listed the following logistical problems:

“1) Promise a free concert by a popular rock group which rarely appears in this country. Announce the site only four days in advance.

2) Change the location 20 hours before the concert.

3) The new concert site should be as close as possible to a giant freeway.

4) Make sure the grounds are barren, treeless, desolate.

5) Don’t warn neighboring landowners that hundreds of thousands of people are expected. Be unaware of their out-front hostility toward long hair and rock music.

6) Provide one-sixtieth the required toilet facilities to insure that people will use nearby fields, the sides of cars, etc.

7) The stage should be located in an area likely to be completely surrounded by people and their vehicles.

8) Build the stage low enough to be easily hurdled. Don’t secure a clear area between stage and audience.

9) Provide an unreliable barely audible low fidelity sound system.

10) Ask the Hell’s Angels to act as ‘security’ guards.”

Most sane people would have quit while they were ahead, but this is the Rolling Stones we’re talking about. Between Brian Jones having five kids by the age of twenty-three, Mick Jagger allegedly sleeping with over 4,000 women (and don’t get me started on him and David Bowie), Keith Richards’ drug habits and his snorting his dad’s ashes, Bill Wyman dating a teenager while he was in his forties, and Charlie Watts punching Mick Jagger in the face, we are absolutely not dealing with the most sane bunch of individuals on the planet.

And let’s not forget that some idiot decided it’d be a great idea to pay the Hell’s Angels in $500 of beer (the equivalent of $3,535.43 in 2019).

Yeah, if you listened closely to the sounds of the earth in 1969, I can guarantee you, you probably would have heard a barely-cold-in-the-ground Brian Jones spinning in his grave over this stupidity (because he was acting as the band’s manager for a time in their early days before Andrew Oldham came on board).

Let’s also not forget that they hired a particularly notorious batch of Hell’s Angels from Oakland, California, whereas the Grateful Dead found their “security bikers” in Sacramento. Apparently, Grateful Dead manager Rock Scully even tried to warn the Stones about the “real” Hell’s Angels after seeing the footage from Hyde Park, but obviously, they didn’t take whatever warning he tried to give them to heart. The hippies in general had a romanticized image of the Hell’s Angels in their heads, seeing them as “outlaw brothers of the counterculture.”

No points for guessing how that worked out, but let’s continue regardless.

Set to perform that night were Santana, Jefferson Airplane, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, the Grateful Dead, and of course, the Rolling Stones.

They would all be performing on a stage that was just thirty-nine inches off the ground and surrounded on all sides by over 300,000 attendees. Apparently, this had been planned to create a more “intimate” experience.

From what I could tell, waivers were not involved.

For the sake of time, I can’t give you a minute-by-minute analysis of the event, but I can still provide a basic timeline of all that happened.

So, everything went relatively smoothly as Santana performed their set, but it was only downhill from there. As the day progressed, the crowd started fighting each other, and the “security” sure as hell didn’t help matters. At some point, someone knocked over one of the Angel’s motorcycles, which was likely an accident. However, the Angels were already pretty pissy, and plus, rule number one when it comes to the Angels is “Don’t mess with the motorcycles.” So, the Angels, already high thanks to someone spiking the beer with acid, started indiscriminately assaulting audience members they didn’t like with sawed-off pool cues and motorcycle chains, including a guy who was running around naked and someone else who was trying to take pictures of the stage. One woman who called in to a radio station the next day reported that she saw five fistfights, and the Angels were involved in every last one. She tried to intervene, but the people around her warned her not to, fearing for both their safety and hers.

During Jefferson Airplane’s set, Marty Balin was knocked unconscious when he tried to intervene in a fight between the audience members and Hell’s Angels. When Paul Kantner grabbed a mic and sarcastically thanked the Angels, Bill Fritsch grabbed the mic from him and started arguing with him about it. In addition, Denise Jewkes, lead singer of Ace of Cups, was hit in the head with a beer bottle and suffered a skull fracture. Her husband, Noel, had to lead his six-month pregnant wife through the sea of people so she could get medical attention. The Stones later paid her medical expenses. By this point, news of what was going on out front was beginning to seep into the backstage areas and even back to the Stones at their hotel room, but most of the acts decided to press on regardless. However, after hearing about what happened to Marty from Michael Shrieve, the guys from the Grateful Dead decided to book it.

Yeah. Thanks a bunch, assholes.

The crowd did calm down a bit for the Flying Burrito Brothers’ set, because really, who can say no to Gram Parsons? However, that calm was only temporary. When the Stones arrived by helicopter, it wasn’t even ten seconds before someone punched Mick Jagger in the face. Also, Bill Wyman missed the first helicopter out, so the Stones were already going to be late.

And then Mick Jagger decided he wanted to be all dramatic and shit, so the crowds were forced to wait until nightfall for the Stones’ set.

Meanwhile, during Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young’s set, a “stoned out” Angel reportedly stabbed Stephen Stills in the leg whenever he stepped forward to sing, leaving trails of blood running down his leg.

By the time the Stones were anywhere near ready to take the stage, things started to degenerate even further, to the point where the Angels (who already despised Mick’s scrawny, English arse) pretty much forced the Stones to go out on stage regardless of whether they were ready or not, just to prevent a full-scale riot.

It was in that moment Mick knew… he fucked up royally.

As Mick observed the constant fighting between the audience members and Hell’s Angels during the show as he sang “Sympathy for the Devil”, he desperately, defeatedly, pleaded for calm, his usual bravado completely absent for once in his adult life. However, it was clear that the Angels already weren’t going to listen to the flamboyant musician they clearly hated, and tensions had been simmering too long throughout the day, so Mick’s pleas for peace practically went completely unheard.

Mick Taylor later said, “The Hell’s Angels had a lot to do with it. The people that were working with us getting the concert together thought it would be a good idea to have them as a security force. But I got the impression that because they were a security force they were using it as an excuse. They’re just very, very violent people. I think we expected probably something like the Hell’s Angels that were our security force at Hyde Park, but of course they’re not the real Hell’s Angels, they’re completely phony. These guys in California are the real thing — they’re very violent. I had expected a nice sort of peaceful concert. I didn’t expect anything like that in San Francisco because they are so used to having nice things there. That’s where free concerts started, and I thought a society like San Francisco could have done much better. We were on the road when it was being organized, we weren’t involved at all. We would have liked to have been. Perhaps the only thing we needed security for was the Hell’s Angels. I really don’t know what caused it but it just depressed me because it could have been so beautiful that day”

(I feel so sorry for Mick Taylor. The kid was just twenty years old when he saw all this bullshit going down.)

Now, what I’m going to do with this go-around, before I describe what happened next, is tell you a little bit about Meredith Hunter. He was just eighteen when he went to Altamont with his girlfriend, Patti Bredehoft. The only reason he had a gun that day, according to his family, was for self-protection, given that he was basically a young black man with a white girlfriend in a sea of white people, at a time and place where racism was still very much prevalent. Allegedly, the gun didn’t even have any bullets in it; it would just be a last resort to deter anyone giving him trouble. Like most 18-year-olds, he was also a bit naive, and though his girlfriend wanted to leave, he convinced her to stay for the Rolling Stones’ set. At one point, he was already set upon by Hell’s Angels, but that time, it was only a scuffle. What is known is that he was high on methamphetamines, but what isn’t known for sure is his general demeanour. Some said he had a crazy look in his eye, while others said that he seemed calm, though he was upset at the violence.

And then, all hell broke loose.

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As “Under My Thumb” was ending, cameras found an opening into the crowd, into which stumbled Meredith Hunter. He grabbed his gun, a .22 calibre revolver, which was visible to cameras against Patti’s dress. When Alan Passaro saw this, he immediately assumed that Hunter was trying to shoot somebody, and started stabbing him (this was, again, in plain view of a bunch of cameras). Subsequently, he was repeatedly kicked in the head, trying to tell his attackers that he wasn’t trying to kill anybody. However, the Angels were convinced that he was attempting to shoot somebody, and that’s essentially what the narrative became- that a crazed black kid high on meth tried to shoot Mick or one of the other Rolling Stones (which, believe me, I’d be salty about even if I hadn’t read a Rolling Stone article about him).

It was little Mick Taylor who managed to keep things rolling (a bit) by suggesting they play “Brown Sugar”, which had only been recorded the previous Tuesday.

Somehow, after the vicious beating he’d suffered, Meredith was still alive, and a doctor at the scene looked at him and recommended that he get immediate medical attention, or else he’d die. However, the only helicopter at the scene was reserved for the Rolling Stones, and the pilot made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that no one else was allowed on board. Hunter ended up dying of his injuries while they waited for emergency responders.

I don’t quite know how well the situation was explained, but still, dick move on the part of the helicopter pilots.

In addition to Hunter, three other people died, one after falling into a fast-moving irrigation duct while tripping on LSD, and two others were killed in their sleeping bags during a hit-and-run accident. There were also four reported births, one of which occurred during Jefferson Airplane’s set.

The day after the concert, the Stones flew back to London, as the news slowly disseminated throughout the world.

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In 1971, a documentary about the tragedy, Gimme Shelter, was released to the public. However, in the years since, many have argued that is meant to excuse the Stones’ actions and is an apologist piece of media. Still, the footage itself does show a chilling account of what happened that day, if you can ignore that overall narrative (though you really shoudn’t ignore that).

Alan Passaro was later charged with Meredith’s murder, but was acquitted by an all-white jury, who likely either excused the crime due to racism, or just didn’t have the full story.

After Altamont, just about everybody turned on each other. The audience members, many of whom undoubtedly still live with the scars of that fateful night blamed the Hell’s Angels, whereas the Angels laid some of the blame on the audience members, and most of it on the people who hired them, whilst the Stones said they’d never work with the Hell’s Angels again (which, allegedly, almost resulted in some of them trying to assassinate Mick Jagger).

In my honest, humble, not-so-professional opinion, I say the blame should be laid with the Stones’ management, Mick Jagger, the Grateful Dead, and the Hell’s Angels. The concert should have been planned over a matter of months instead of weeks, held in a proper venue, and above all else, not had fucking Hell’s Angels as security guards.

While the Grateful Dead came out of it rather unscathed (mostly because they didn’t play), it’s been said that the Stones lost quite a bit of their edge. It’s easy to say that they grew up a lot because of this event, becoming a lot humbler, and a lot less greedy and risky as a direct result of this. It’s even to a point where people haven’t liked much of what they’ve put out since the 1980’s. Santana and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young declined to have their performances shown in Gimme Shelter, and have since spoken very little about the event. Meanwhile, Alan Passaro drowned in 1985, though the circumstances of his death are suspicious, to say the least. Meanwhile, Meredith Hunter’s family still deals with the trauma of his death, and aside from a $10,000 ($70,708.59) settlement, the Stones never even approached the family to offer their condolences, or even a half-assed explanation (I don’t recommend the latter approach). The Hell’s Angels also had their reputations as dangerous outsiders cemented by this event, given that they’d caused at least 75-90% of the violence that took place that day.

Keith Richards has maintained his “fuck-all” attitude about this through the years, even writing in his 2010 autobiography “In actual fact, if it hadn’t been for the murder, we’d have thought it a very smooth gig by the skin of its fucking teeth.”

There is a reason that many of the dreams of the 60′s died at Altamont, and all the evidence you really need is the footage that was shot that night and the words of the people who saw the fiasco first hand.

Sources: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/remembering-meredith-hunter-the-fan-killed-at-altamont-630260/ https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/the-rolling-stones-disaster-at-altamont-let-it-bleed-71299/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidchiu/2019/12/03/altamont-at-50-the-disastrous-concert-that-brought-the-60s-to-a-crashing-halt/#535871c31941 https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-chaos-of-altamont-and-the-murder-of-meredith-hunter https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/the-altamont-festival-brings-the-1960s-to-a-violent-end https://datebook.sfchronicle.com/music/altamont-wasnt-the-end-of-the-60s-it-was-the-start-of-rock-n-roll-disasters https://worldhistoryproject.org/1969/12/6/altamont-free-concert Altamont by Joel Selvin Life by Keith Richards https://allthatsinteresting.com/altamont-speedway-free-concert https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/lifestyle/altamont-rolling-stones-50th-anniversary/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altamont_Free_Concert https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Meredith_Hunter http://timeisonourside.com/chron1969.html https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/02/01/altamont-free-concert-in-1969/ https://www.ranker.com/list/altamont-free-concert-facts/jen-jeffers http://www.findingdulcinea.com/news/on-this-day/On-This-Day–Deaths-at-Rolling-Stones–Altamont-Concert-Shocks-the-Nation.html https://www.robertchristgau.com/xg/bk-aow/altamont.php https://westegg.com/inflation/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUlyVSfhgaM https://www.setlist.fm/setlist/the-rolling-stones/1969/altamont-speedway-tracy-ca-43d6fbb3.html https://slate.com/culture/2018/07/just-a-shot-away-a-history-of-altamont-by-saul-austerlitz-reviewed.html

#mick jagger #keith richards #brian jones #charlie watts #bill wyman #mick taylor #the rolling stones #jefferson airplane #santana #flying burrito brothers #the grateful dead #cw: drugs #cw: death #cw: racism #cw: murder #cw: assault #cw: violence #this concert was such a mess

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artemisegeria · 5 years

Text

The Best Timeline

Title: The Best Timeline

Rating: T

Word count: 3599

Warnings: minor language and innuendo, ridiculousness

Summary: Wanda and Vision find a mysterious package on their doorstep. They open it to reveal a glimpse of their lives in another world. Endgame Spoilers.

A/N: It’s been weeks, but I’m still bitter about Endgame’s treatment of Vision. And it’s Paul Bettany’s birthday, so I’m giving him the recognition he deserves. While my underlying emotions are very real, I exaggerated some of my complaints for comedic effect (hopefully). This is not meant to be taken too seriously. Other than the essential point that Vision (and Paul) deserved better.

Also, some parts of the movie may be out of order/misremembered/omitted.

Vision answered the door upon hearing the bell ring. No one was there. Instead, there was only a small package. He picked it up curiously to find a DVD. When he returned to the living room, Wanda asked, “Who was it?”

“There was no one there, but someone left this film called Avengers: Endgame. Very curious. The cover bears images of all our friends.” He handed it to Wanda for her to peruse.

The original six Avengers, of course, had the largest images in the center of the package, but Wanda also appeared on the back, along with a number of their space-based allies. Vision could only surmise that this movie came from an alternate universe where he and his friends were fictional characters. It was amazing that the actors chosen in that universe so closely resembled his real friends in his own universe. That would provide hours of fodder for speculation, but right now he simply wanted to see how events turned out.

He couldn’t help but notice that he was not featured on either side of the cover. That was perfectly alright. He was not upset in the least. Vision understood that there were many characters to take into account, but he still felt a pang in his synthetic heart that he did not merit one square inch of space. He was an Avenger after all, and a bearer of one sixth of the Infinity Stones. And his AI forebear had been important to Tony Stark far before that.

Enough time had passed that the worst of the pain surrounding Thanos’s attack had ebbed, but Vision was still concerned for Wanda’s well-being. However, she seemed equally interested in learning about this movie. “We should watch. Don’t you think, Vizh?”

“I agree.”

He slipped the disk into their DVD player. When he returned to the couch, Wanda cuddled closer against his side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Clint Barton appeared on the screen. Vision watched Clint interact with his family, only to see them disappear into thin air. “What kind of monsters would show that?” Wanda asked. “Everyone knows about the Snap already, or at least the cover said.”

“I do not know. Perhaps it is a devious attempt at emotional manipulation, encouraging the audience to forgive Clint a great deal when he reacts to their deaths.”

Then a logo proclaiming Marvel Studios appeared on the screen. He wondered if it had any association with Captain Marvel in their world.

The image shifted to Tony and Nebula, adrift in the vastness of space. Carol soon rescued them. “I know that Carol is powerful, but the odds of her finding them are almost incalculable.” Another item to put on his list for another time. Vision did enjoy these problems in the middle of the night while the rest of the world was asleep.

“Yeah, I’m glad she did though.” Wanda and Tony were now on a much better footing. His role in bringing Vision back was a key step in helping them reconcile after Wanda returned. When Carol landed the ship in front of the compound, Vision could not help but tear up at Tony’s reunion with Pepper. They truly were a wonderful couple. He had been so happy to attend their wedding with Wanda after they had defeated Thanos, and to become a godfather to Morgan when she was born a year later.

They watched the faces of the Snapped people flash by. Vision held Wanda more tightly when her face appeared. She nuzzled his shoulder. “It’s okay now.” He nodded against the top of her head, but kept her close to him.

When the characters on screen started planning to fight Thanos a second time, Vision and Wanda truly started getting confused. In their universe, the Avengers and their allies all worked together for five years, preparing themselves for battle and gathering Infinity Stones, before attempting to face Thanos again. They absorbed alternate universe Carol’s idea to go after Thanos immediately. Carol in their universe was rightfully confident as well, but others had prevailed on her that they should wait to prepare a battle strategy and only fight Thanos at their full strength.

When the small contingent boarded the aircraft to travel to the Garden, Vision muttered, “This plan seems most unwise.”

“Mmhmm.”

Vision began to question his assessment when the group easily restrained Thanos and removed the Gauntlet. But when Rocket flipped it over to see the empty slots and Thanos explained what he had done, Vision felt a small measure of triumph. The scene ended with a somewhat startling shot of Thor cutting off Thanos’s head and walking away.

This was far different from what happened in their world. In their universe, Thanos could not resist the temptation of keeping the Stones intact. He bided his time while the worlds he destroyed struggled to carry on. The only precaution he took was to scatter the Stones throughout deep space, keeping their locations to himself.

Next, a black screen revealed that five years had passed. Vision watched Natasha face the holograms of their friends who were working across the galaxies to keep the universe together. They were having a remarkably similar conversation to one Vision remembered about a garbage scow and an underwater earthquake, but he wondered why he was not present. Both he and Clint, who had come back to Natasha and the Avengers after his family had disappeared, had called into that meeting. Clint had been stationed in the Midwest of the United States, infiltrating a local militia that was attempting to usurp the federal government in that area. Vision had been sent to the remnants of the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland to act as a liaison once Bruce, Tony, and Shuri had revived him in 2020. Vision did not like to think about those days, but they were a part of him.

He watched Scott Lang detail his theory of how they could bring everyone back with time travel. Vision frowned. He remembered those debates that had endured for weeks about the feasibility of such plans. Firm lines had been drawn, confusion had reigned among those less versed in the science of quantum mechanics, and bitterness lingered long after they had decided that they would use a different plan. Fortunately, those feelings had been soothed by the time of the final battle, but Vision still did not want to dwell on it.

On screen Natasha, Steve, and Scott traveled to see Doctor Banner, now one with the Hulk. Vision had already accepted that the events in this movie were very different from what happened in their universe, but it was still odd to see the Avengers act as if they had not spoken to Doctor Banner for the full five years that had elapsed. In Vision’s own universe, Bruce had become an integral part of the team after the eighteen months spent merging with the Hulk. He had played a crucial role in bringing Vision back, along with Tony and Shuri. Working through the mostly successful project (in every way except that Vision had been left without any emotions) had been the catalyst to encourage the Avengers to trust and rely on each other again.

He still felt guilt over not mourning Wanda or any of his friends, though she insisted he could not help it. That is what Vision wished to forget, but maybe his emotionless logic had been necessary at the time. It allowed him to function without the grief that he would surely have experienced otherwise weighing down his thoughts and actions.

Vision forced his attention back to the movie. He and Wanda were even more taken aback when they reached New Asgard. Vision felt great compassion for that universe’s version of Thor. He was clearly struggling with guilt and anguish. Vision bristled when Rocket made a joke about his changed appearance. Rocket was not the most sensitive of companions, but whoever wrote his dialogue seemed to expect the audience to laugh at the joke. Thor’s depression was not something to be made the butt of a puerile joke.

It only grew worse as the writers continued to elaborate on making Thor a pitiful figure. What Thor had faced would be enough to make anyone turn to alcohol or food and to isolate one’s self from the world, but his character was unrecognizable from the one Vision knew. The Thor he knew continued to bear up admirably under the pressure of the Snap and had done everything in his power to help his people adjust to living on Earth. He had become a king in truth as well as name.

When the scene shifted to Tokyo, the rainy night suggested that it would not be a pleasant scene. Vision was still shocked at the blood and violence contained therein. Rhodes had mentioned that Clint was undertaking the murder of people he judged to be criminals throughout the world, but this seemed extreme even for him. When Natasha approached him, saying that she would not judge him for his worst mistake, Vision privately thought that the five years, more or less, of extra-judicial killings were far more than a mistake. Instead, it was an international crime spree that would take years to untangle in international courts, with so many countries battling for jurisdiction. Vision did feel vindicated in his assessment of the opening scene, comforting himself that none of this had ever happened. In their universe, Clint had tried to avenge his family by working to save what was left of the world and to bring them back.

When they reached the presentations concerning the Infinity Stones, Vision was once again somewhat affronted that they did not even mention him. This was the perfect opportunity to address his absence from the team and explain that his revival without the Mind Stone had left him without any emotions. Alas, they moved back to the time-travel debate.

Vision and Wanda watched as the teams split up, some going to Vormir, some to Morag, and some to New York in 2012. In their universe, everyone had hunted down the Stones together using a modified version of the device Rocket had used to detect Thanos’s second Snap. There was no more splitting up, only becoming a true team and unit.

Wanda shrieked with laughter at Scott’s comment about “America’s ass.” Vision frowned deeply, but he quickly smoothed out his features. He shifted his attention to the other events on screen. This section of the movie was a humorous look at the Battle of New York, though none of it had ever happened. Well, the events had likely happened in some universe if there were infinite alternate realities. He was drawn away from his contemplation when Captain Rogers started fighting an earlier version of himself and the camera focused again on his posterior while he admitted that it was “America’s ass.”

“Damn right, it is,” Wanda murmured with a smirk. Vision failed to hide his displeasure this time.

“I suppose it is aesthetically pleasing.” The tightness in his voice was clearly audible to Wanda. She paused the movie before looking up at him. She swung her legs over his lap and tilted his face down to hers, grinning at him.

“Not as much as yours.” She quickly paused the movie and leaned up to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her in place as their mouths moved together. They finally pulled apart several minutes later.

Vision felt foolish for succumbing to jealousy so easily. “Thank you, Wanda.”

“Sure thing, Vizh. Ready to get back to the movie?” Vision nodded. The action resumed with Tony and Steve traveling even farther back in time. This movie’s treatment of time-travel was growing confusing even to his own advanced synthetic brain.

When everyone returned to the time travel platform and broke to mourn for Natasha, tears started rolling down Wanda’s cheeks. He clutched her more tightly. “It’s alright. Natasha is perfectly well.” She nodded against him, sniffling, and he handed her a tissue.

They finally reached the point where the Avengers prepared to use the Gauntlet. He did not understand why they were arguing over who should use it when the clear solution was the one they used in their own universe, distributing all six Stones among six individuals, reducing the negative side effects. He could recall the painstaking construction of their own version of the Infinity Gauntlet. Tony had made a chain that connected all six Stones. Each Stone fitting had another chain that allowed one of the chosen Avengers to hold it. Vision, Thor, Steve, Carol, and Bruce had been the ones chosen, due to their superhuman physiques, along with Tony. Alas, Vision could not communicate through the screen to correct their plan. Instead he was forced to watch Bruce’s struggle with the movement and the serious injury that resulted from it.

The results of their channeling the Stones’ power were similar though. Clint had smiled shakily upon seeing his wife’s face appear on his phone in both universes. Birds suddenly started chirping and a tree that had been Snapped out of existence reappeared. The most startling result in Vision’s universe had been that the Mind Stone had merged with him again, granting him his emotions. He shuddered a bit in memory of how the wave of years of suppressed emotions had crashed down on him at once, bringing him to his knees and causing him to sob. He was grateful for Wanda’s presence in this moment; he rested his head against her chest as she rubbed his shoulder. She paused the movie again, letting him breathe.

After several minutes, Vision finally raised his head to look at Wanda, cupping her face gently. He placed a soft kiss on her lips, and she smiled at him, her own eyes watering. He said, “I am ready to resume the film when you are.”

The screen showed the disguised 2014 Nebula leading Thanos into the compound. Wincing at the sudden destruction of the entire building, Vision wondered how the remaining Avengers would stand against such a force, whether what came next would approximate what happened in their universe at all.

At the time, the others had rushed to comfort him just as Thanos and his forces had appeared outside the compound, drawn by the energy signature of their second Snap. Vision had tried to join them. He had to do his part. But Natasha urged him to stay back until he had recovered himself while the others moved outside to confront Thanos. Vision would never forget the helplessness he experienced then, but the thought of his friends out there alone and the refusal to let the world be at that monster’s mercy pushed him into action within 3.65 minutes.

Thanos had just finished his grand monologue about being inevitable and coming to take back what they had stolen from him when Vision met the other Avengers. The out-sized figure sneered at him when he saw the Mind Stone. “I will enjoy killing you again, Living Machine.” Vision did not honor him with a response. Instead, Steve, Tony, Bruce, Carol, Nebula, Rhodes, Scott, Natasha, Thor, Rocket, Clint, and Vision all moved forward as one. Then, the battle had begun in earnest.

What occurred on screen was quite different. With only Steve, Thor, and Tony facing Thanos, and everyone else cut off in various parts of the facility, the battle seemed even more unequal. There was still the same pedestrian monologuing, but Vision was curious to see the resolution. He had no desire to ever pay any mind to Thanos again.

It looked as if the Avengers would truly be defeated once and for all when the crackle of static alerted Steve to a new presence “on his left.” It was thrilling when the first portal opened and T’Challa, Okoye, and Shuri stepped through. As more opened, revealing Peter, Stephen, and the lost Guardians, and many others, the swelling music caught Vision’s mind, even though he was certain about what would ultimately happen.

Wanda swung her legs back onto the floor and leaned forward eagerly as she flew through a portal with Bucky and some Wakandan soldiers. “I look awesome here.” Her powers did look majestic. Vision was awed once again that Wanda had chosen him when she could have had anyone she wanted.

“Always, dear.” He quickly shifted his attention back to the television, not wanting to miss a moment. The one remark that passed through his mind before he became completely engrossed in the spectacle was that it was fortunate that the villains were following movie logic and stopped completely while the heroes were still dramatically preparing themselves for battle. But that all faded away when he saw Wanda stand alone against Thanos. He would never cease to be amazed by her strength. And slightly aroused, if he were being completely honest.

Wanda glanced at him and smirked. Patting his knee, she said, “Later, darling.” Both of them had no more time to spare when Wanda joined with the other women on screen, and they all began to advance together. It was a compelling sight, though Vision couldn’t help but note that these women had barely interacted prior to this moment. It somewhat undercut the power of the image.

By that point, Vision realized that he would not be appearing. He felt a slice of disappointment run through him. It was petty, perhaps, but pettiness was part of humanity. He embraced it as he did all of humanity. So he allowed himself a few moments of bitterness.

Vision was drawn from his brooding as Wanda clutched his hand when Thanos and his army began to flake away into dust. It was a supremely satisfying moment, even though much of the film was a complete fiction in their universe.

When the scene shifted to Tony’s funeral, Vision bowed his head for the fictional Tony. Though he supposed they never grew close in that universe, Vision thought of how his own universe’s Tony had eventually become one of his closest friends. He noted that he still was not present among the Avengers, so he supposed neither Shuri nor Bruce had repaired him yet. Later, the camera panned to a shot of only Clint and Wanda.

His own Wanda frowned at their conversation. “I know people react to grief differently, but I have no idea why any version of me wouldn’t at least say your name. And it’s weird that I didn’t mention Pietro either.” Vision had to agree. He knew that Wanda still felt her brother’s loss keenly, even after many years, but she still spoke of the happier times often.

“I do not understand it either.” He could not hold it against the fictional Wanda, as she was at the mercy of writers who had their own strange agenda, apparently.

His wife wrapped her arms around him again, and he returned her embrace. “I’m glad we don’t need to worry about that.”

“Indeed,” he whispered into her hair, breathing in her scent.

Vision checked the time. They were very close to the end now. The scene turned to Steve standing on a miniature version of the time travel platform from the compound. Vision murmured, “This all could have been avoided if they had done anything but time travel.”

Wanda elbowed him lightly, and he subsided. Mere moments later Steve was shown to be an old man sitting on a bench. They watched as he handed his shield to Sam. Wanda voiced her shock vociferously. “Sam deserves it, but I don’t think Steve would ever just leave his friends and the world he spent twelve years adjusting just to go back to a woman he had made his peace with.”

“I concur.” In their universe, Steve was alive and well. He had finally taken a leave to address the years of trauma that he had suffered and was still leading the team with aplomb.

They watched as Steve danced with Peggy and the closing credits began to play. “Well, I could see how certain audience members might find the ending pleasing, no matter how nonsensical it is.”

“I guess. That’s just not my Steve.”

“Nor mine.” The credits began to play, with highlights from each of the main cast members. They were particularly beautiful. Clearly the artists had paid great attention to detail, but he still did not appear. Logic dictated that that was the case, but it was cold comfort.

Wanda returned to the main menu. “Ooh, let’s watch some of the bonus features!” Vision was not feeling enthusiastic about watching any more, but he nodded agreeably. They played through the deleted scenes, where he was also not featured or mentioned once. Then, there was a brief history of all twenty-two movies in the franchise, where the actor who played his character was featured momentarily. Paul Bettany was also an actor in their universe. Vision loved his movies, and Wanda did like to tease him that the man bore a certain resemblance to Vision. He was gratified to have an actor of his caliber portray him. Though it made him bitter all over again that he was not allowed to be featured even once in the credits of the culminating movie in the franchise. He deserved it after seven movies.

Vision supposed that in the end it did not matter because in this universe he was alive and well. Wanda’s warmth was pressed against his side, and they had their whole lives ahead of them. He was truly living in the best timeline.

#fanfiction #alternate universe #vision #wanda maximoff #wanda x vision #scarlet vision #post avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #happy birthday paul bettany

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yellowdistress · 6 years

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I was wondering if you could write a short story of peter and Tony, after peter has accidentally killed his first person, maybe in the What We Are verse

THIS ONE GOT SO BURIED! I think it was because I looked at it and thought ‘that’s angsty gotta save it for when I have an appropriate amount of time’ and then I just kept forgetting about it. So sorry this one is so late, I’m starting from the bottom now to get the older ones answered.

Anyway, this is angst, so here we go. Sad Peter ensues. I’m not sure where to fit this ‘canonically’ in the verse, because I wanted it before Infinity War, but it was never mentioned in it Hurts to Become cause obviously it’s a prompt. I think I’m thinking too hard about this…haha, but can we consider this outside of canon What We Are? Because I feel if something this traumatic happened it would’ve come up again. So yeah, it’s What We Are verse, but after this little drabble it’s gonna disappear from ‘canon’ What We Are just cause I think it’d be unrealistic for it not to have been mentioned in It Hurts to Become.

It made sense for the world to smell like vomit and cigarettes on New Years.

New York often flourished in it on that holiday in particular. Strong vomit, caked in alcohol and pretzels, peanuts, party hats and the inhalation of fireworks and camel smokes. Peter’s nose was burning, he felt fried right at the top of his brain, staring into the sky where it had begun to rain cold needles into his skin. It wasn’t quite cold enough to snow, but it was icing over where it puddled underneath his horizontal body. His chest heaved, and blood filled his nose, tasting like pennies in the back of his throat.

Peter wasn’t supposed to be out.

He had told his dad he was going to spend New Years with Ned and Ned’s mother. But he had slipped on the suit, had told himself patrolling would only be an hour or two to avoid his father realizing the suit was in use. He probably wouldn’t be checking, he had taken the opportunity of an empty house to take Pepper out to some party, even though he swore he had aged too much for such things. It made the sneaking out easier…New Years was one of the biggest nights of crime in the entire year. People were being robbed, assaulted, stumbling home drunk. Peter had felt he had to go out, despite the fact his dad had forbidden it because it was ‘dangerous’.

Now Peter supposed he was right.

It had started with a guy mugging someone in an alley. Kicking repeatedly, bloody, until the guy lay limp in the vomit smell on the ground, and Peter had jumped down, had intervened, but the guy had hit him with a pipe…Then there had been hands on his throat, then Peter had grabbed the pipe…and then the rest was relatively blurry. But he knew his nose and head were gushing…and the man beside him wasn’t moving.

Peter hadn’t meant to hit him so hard, he really hadn’t.

“ - eter? Peter?”

The boy groaned, mind whirling. No stars to sink into above him, only water pooling. Peter sucked in, more blood slipping down his throat and into him. He rolled over in response to Karen’s voice, lifting the bottom of the mask to spit the blood onto the concrete. He replied hoarsely, “Yeah?”

“Peter, you’re injured.”

No shit.

“The laceration on your skull will more than likely need to be sutured,” Karen continued, and she sounded too loud in Peter’s ears, bouncing around, then out again, “Also, your nose needs to be set. I’m contacting your father - “

“No,” Peter snapped, sitting up and holding his ribcage, “No, don’t call him…Karen.”

Karen was silent, then, “I’m programmed to call your father whenever you receive an injury, despite your protests.”

“Do not call Dad,” Peter argued, “Alright? I’m fine, I’m getting up now…”

His voice trailed off when he looked at the man beside him. The man with the discarded pipe just a few inches away from his bloody forehead. Peter blinked, over and over again, trying to get his eyes to adjust, but he felt more confused than anything…Concussion. Definitely concussion…He couldn’t put one thought in front of the other. Peter tried to expand his chest…To open to air, but there was something stopping him and the world felt like it was imploding.

The guy was…definitely not moving.

Peter moved to his knees beside the guy who had attacked him…The guy he had smacked with a pipe. It appeared the victim from earlier had run off, because he was gone from the alleyway. Peter loomed over the figure, slowly reaching out and pressing his fingers to the guy’s neck. When he felt nothing, a shrill horror clung on and Peter spoke shakily, “K-Karen - Karen…is he…Oh God, is he…”

“He appears to be deceased,” Karen replied, clinically, “My scanners indicate a skull fracture consistent with your counter attack to escape his choke hold.”

The smell of vomit disappeared. Vomit and alcohol and pretzels and instead, it was replaced with just the smell of his blood in his nose. Peter fell back off his knees, onto his bottom, holding his hands out in front of himself. They weren’t red…not like the inside of his mask from his gushing head. But he almost expected them to be. A sense of drowning overcame him, and Peter tried to take in a deep breath, but it was difficult…Like his lungs had never learned. Peter supposed…well, he supposed at some point, he was bound to accidentally hurt someone. That was why his father was always so strict about him using his strength. And there were the repercussions, right in front of him. Repercussions for his actions. A dead person…

“Peter, you’re having a panic attack.”

But it didn’t compute - nothing was computing - not the lifeless corpse, not his inability to breathe, not the brokenness clinging into his joints as he grabbed both sides of his head in desperation to escape. To get out of his body. Peter barely heard Karen say she was contacting his father when he pressed the spider on his suit and freed himself from the cocoon. Ever since the ferry boat incident, he had begun to wear clothing under the suit. Just to avoid such a walk of shame again, but he was still exposed in his sweats and t-shirt, barefoot as he started to scale the wall behind him, ripping the mask off and dropping it.

In retrospect, it was unwise was abandon his suit in the alley with the dead man, but it was the only way to get away. From what he wasn’t sure. His father? Karen? The body? There were people cheering in the distance as Peter ran over the rooftop, pebbles digging into his toes. He wasn’t sure how far he ran as the rain continued to pelt him. But he could hear people counting down…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Fireworks bombarded him and Peter ducked under a ledge, flashing lights parading in the sky as he curled into himself, trying to hide from the cold water. He wasn’t bleeding anymore, his hands were clean, but he felt like there was something clotting under his nails. Like an existence he had stolen from the dead man in the alley. The dead man he had murdered. Peter dropped to his side, hugging everything close to him as he shut his eyes and shivered…trying to block the sounds of war - but celebration and he could have wailed.

…

Peter supposed he should have known his father would find him.

His father always found him.

There were no coherent thoughts, until Peter was cracking open his eyelids, and he found himself in his own bed…Not on some roof on New Years, with screaming below him, with blood on his face, though his nose did hurt. Everything was in a heavy haze, like when he had been bitten, and the fever had went through the roof, leaving him incapacitated for so long -

“Yeah kid…A fever.”

Oh…he must have talked.

Peter blinked, it felt like the movies with the blur at the edges of the screen. His father was there, standing above him, and Peter felt himself, he felt he was wrapped in a warm blanket. A calloused hand rubbed the side of his face and his dad went on, but he sounded like he was under water, “…almost froze to death.”

Which Peter deserved, but his father would never be able to see that. Peter swallowed, throat bobbing, and he wanted to say it, but it wouldn’t come. However, nonsense formed, and he whispered, “…the man…”

“Shhh,” His dad hushed, “We’re not talking about that right now.”

“It was an accident.”

“I know,” His dad said, “I know…I’m handling it.”

Handling it. It didn’t need to be handled. The hand continued to stroke his face, and Peter felt the fever taking hold again. His eyes burned, “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m handling it,” His dad repeated.

Peter tried to wet his lips…

“Am I…am I goin’ to jail?”

He watched as his father was standing, but suddenly he was sitting on the edge of the bed, as if Peter had blinked and he had teleported. Peter must have been so, so out of it…because it felt hard to see. His dad shook his head, “You’re not going to jail.”

“I deserve to go,” Peter felt warm tears, and he didn’t know why he was crying, because he couldn’t feel much under the clamminess of the fever, “I deserve…to get hurt or something.”

“Hey,” His dad’s voice lost all softness, and it was replaced by a vehement denial, “Don’t start that. That guy was trying to kill you. You did what you had to do.”

Peter could hear under his father’s voice…the dare to argue. But Peter didn’t have the energy and the haze was spreading fast. Peter’s eyes pleaded to close, so he closed them…murmuring, more off topic than anything, but it was the only coherent thought he could muster…

“I hit ‘em…I hit ‘em too hard…you always say to be careful but I wasn’t.”

He felt chapped lips press to his forehead, then, “Bullshit. You saved yourself.”

Murder didn’t feel like saving.

#what we are au #biological father au

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verdigrisprowl · 6 years

Text

Apr 9 Dancitron Movie Night - Vertigo

The characters were very easily hate-able. That made the movie, by default, very easily hate-able. It was actually a well-written suspense movie, it just had loathsome characters.

But there was a brief semblance of harmony—if not peace—as everyone in the room yelled at the screen.

Today Specs 7:40 pm *in comes a dragon! she bears comfort food this time, rust sticks and oil cakes and tinsel cookies shaped like glitchmice.* Hello, Soundwave! ItsyBitsySpyers 7:40 pm *Soundwave was hoping to get a moment of dancing in before everyone got there, but he'll abort that leg flick and sit right the frag down.* Specs 7:41 pm *the dragon would never judge you for dancing, Soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:41 pm *Ravage IMMEDIATELY pokes his helm out of the stairwell* =I SMELL TINSEL.= Prowl 7:41 pm *Prowl arrives and tilts her helm at the music* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:41 pm [[Good evening, dragon, Prowl.]] Specs 7:41 pm You do! I was just experimenting a little with it, since it's the right sort of thing... You like tinsel? Prowl 7:42 pm Good evening, Soundwave. *nods to Specs and Ravage too she guesses* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:42 pm *Ravage's optics are so pale they're nearly white. Oh, does he ever. It's like catnip for murder felines.* =What you are wanting for all of them?= Specs 7:44 pm *the dragon just passes that platter to Ravage* Just tell me if they're suitable according to your refined palate. ItsyBitsySpyers 7:45 pm *He takes the edge of it in his mouth - can't use his paws, and someone might grab it if it's in his feeler/tail claws - and murmurs a thank you around it as best he can.* Shocky 7:45 pm Good evening ItsyBitsySpyers 7:45 pm *Soundwave sits up straighter and looks over. What's this, then?* Specs 7:45 pm *Ravage is always welcome to help himself to anything she makes. It's her privilege to make these and bring them in, and her delight.* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:45 pm [[Good evening. From which universe might you hail...?]] Prowl 7:46 pm *stiffens visibly* Smokescreen 7:46 pm /Smokescreen's coming in and is going to go immediately for the drinks./ Shocky 7:46 pm I believe you might know it as the 'prime verse' ((i have no idea, my shockers is kinda a divergent)) ItsyBitsySpyers 7:48 pm *Nods.*

((what's the url?)) ((so i can keep track of which ones he talks to about what when they're here)) Bull 7:48 pm ((*goes to get munchies*)) Shocky 7:49 pm ((@illogicalshockwave but if you want the actual link its https://illogicalshockwave.tumblr.com/ )) ItsyBitsySpyers 7:49 pm ((OH! i know yours already, hello 😀 )) Prowl 7:49 pm ((*follows* Smokescreen 7:49 pm /Smokescreen's going to grab a few drinks, before going to sit next to prowl. setting one down/ Prowl! It's been a little while- what've you been up to? Shocky 7:52 pm *Shockwave sits a respectful distance away from the two, examining the music with a half curious half confused look* Prowl 7:52 pm *Prowl relaxes a notch at hearing Smokescreen's voice* Hello, Smokescreen. I've been up to a great deal. Ultra Magnus and I had to reassess the police force's goals and plan training for the newest recruits. ItsyBitsySpyers 7:53 pm *Ravage tries to fuss at Smokescreen and finds he can't sound angry with a tray in his mouth. He runs up stairs with it to set it in his room, then charges over to Smokescreen and swats at his leg with a claw.*

=Payment!= *Soundwave nods again at Shockwave.*

[[We are watching an Earth film from this music's time period. It seemed appropriate.]] Smokescreen 7:53 pm /Smokescreen's looking up at Shockwave, and waves!/ Shocks! I don't think I've seen you here before- you like movies? Shocky 7:54 pm I have never had the time to watch one. I am interested to see what this film is about however Smokescreen 7:54 pm Ohh- did that all go well, though? that sounds like a lot of work- sounds like we've both been busy with stuff! Education systems don't build themselves, apparently. Smokescreen 7:55 pm Wait. Wait, really? Man- I'd love to show you some sometime! Some of them might be helpful science-wise? /Smokescreen's looking through his subspace, and is offering out a half-full cube of low-grade/ How's this? Bull 7:57 pm [*has chips and halfa*] ItsyBitsySpyers 7:57 pm ((what's halfa?)) Bull 7:57 pm ((meant to use out of character 😛)) Shocky 7:57 pm ...Indeed? I am unsure as to how fictional films would aid in scientific discovery, but I would be willing to listen Magnum Ace 7:57 pm ((the next time you come by, you should bring some over)) Bull 7:58 pm ((It's a candy; either made from sesame seeds or flour based)) Prowl 7:58 pm It is. We've only had a few... awkward adjustments. Bull 7:58 pm ((found it at the store and decided to try it)) Smokescreen 7:58 pm It could give you different ideas! And there's multiversal documentaries- they might have science advancements that even you haven't found yet. ... Awkward adjustments? What kinda adjustments are those? Magnum Ace 7:59 pm -pings Soundwave. Mind them coming over for movie night?- Shocky 7:59 pm ((i'm so jelly, i have to be on a diet now q.q fitness is going to be a pain in the ass to get started in but ehh)) Prowl 7:59 pm My understanding was that these were non-fiction documentaries. Prowl 8:00 pm Recruits with the wrong idea of what an enforcer should do. Nothing we can't fix with time. Bull 8:01 pm ((I wasn't even sure what it was when I found it; got that and some gunpowder green tea and black rice)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:01 pm *Ravage growls louder.* =PAYMENT.= *SWIPE hard with the claws. Get some scratches, you.* Smokescreen 8:01 pm Ohhhh- oh, yeah. That kinda thing is pretty important! Come to think of it- I don't really know what's going on with law enforcement where I am Magnum Ace 8:01 pm ((you do find the weird stuff Specs 8:02 pm ((ayy gunpowder green tea)) Smokescreen 8:02 pm OW- ow, come on, Ravage. That was payment! What about helm pats? Orrr- I could tell you a story. From Alpha Trion. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:02 pm ((we will start soon-ish, get any snacks and whatever you need)) Bull 8:02 pm ((I want to get the ice cream cake looking deserts they had; and some Russian coffee)) Smokescreen 8:02 pm But I don't have any shanix. Prowl 8:02 pm I would advise you to ensure they're not abusing their position to abuse the civilians on your Cybertron. Magnum Ace 8:02 pm ((shhhhh, I'm getting hungry ItsyBitsySpyers 8:03 pm =Touch my helm and die, Autobot.= *Bares his glowing fangs.* =Story or items. Or bleed.= Bull 8:03 pm ((Then eat; I know you got yourself foods)) Specs 8:03 pm *this would be a terrible time to inform Ravage that he's the coolest cat this dragon has seen, but she's definitely thinking it.* *chimera, of course, is the cutest cat* Bull 8:03 pm ((and it better not just be Mountain Dew)) Magnum Ace 8:03 pm ((I did, but I want sweets now ((......... ((<.< Smokescreen 8:04 pm I mean- I don't really mind bleeding all that much, if I can still have the drinks! /Smokescreen's leaning down to take a sip of his drink./ Prowl 8:05 pm *lets out a small huff in amusement* Shocky 8:05 pm *Shockwave is just... baffled at how smokescreen is like this* annoying the hosts is most unwise, Smokescreen. Prowl 8:05 pm Just pay him, Smokescreen, before you wind up missing metal. Smokescreen 8:06 pm Hey, what? I'm not even trying to be annoying- and I've had worse ways of paying bots before. It's not like I'm letting Ravage rip off plating or something. Bull 8:07 pm ((I swear I will attack you with a leek next time I come over)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:07 pm *Specs should tell them both later. They'll appreciate it more then, for sure.*

[[Indeed it is. You should listen to Shockwave. Ravage has been known to bite thieves.]] Magnum Ace 8:07 pm ((OAO noooooo ItsyBitsySpyers 8:07 pm [[And he's not known for letting go.]] Smokescreen 8:07 pm Well- I guess Ravage'll have to get used to living in my quarters, then, if he won't let go. Bull 8:07 pm ((eat healthier then)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:07 pm ((we start at 8:15)) Smokescreen 8:07 pm ... But I guess I can give a story. VProwl 8:08 pm *Prowl has been here less than a minute, and he's already sick of Smokescr why is shockwave here* Magnum Ace 8:08 pm ((Maybe Shocky 8:08 pm What are the accepted forms of payment? Being a new guest to these events I am unsure if Shanix is, or something with more weight in the multiverse ItsyBitsySpyers 8:09 pm [[Anything we might find interesting or useful. We do not have a functional currency yet, and barter has been more useful.]] VProwl 8:09 pm *not what he needs. NOT what he needs.* Magnum Ace 8:09 pm ((ANYWAY, before I'm assaulted by leeks, should me and Bull just assume they're in the room now?)) VProwl 8:09 pm @Soundwave «Is he going to be sitting with you.» Bull 8:09 pm ((*has a bag of celery ready for the smacking*) Magnum Ace 8:09 pm ((PUT THE BAG DOWN ItsyBitsySpyers 8:09 pm ((crud was i pinged for a bridge? i've been scattered, lemme just--))

*Anyone who might've been asking for a way in now has one.*

@P: [[...No. Why would he?]] Bull 8:10 pm ((eat REAL food!)) Magnum Ace 8:10 pm ((I am! SHUSH! Smokescreen 8:10 pm I'm not a useful bot and you know it, Sounds. But for stories, stories... What kind of story would you want, anyway? Magnum Ace 8:10 pm ((and thanks snek VProwl 8:10 pm @S «I can't tell if it's yours.» *if he's not, though, Prowl is sitting next to Soundwave and making himself as unobtrusive as possible.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm [[Vital events in that bot's timeline's history. Ones he wouldn't already have easy access to, that is.]]

@P: [[It is not.]] *He'll gently bump a knee while pretending to shift for comfort.* Magnum Ace 8:12 pm -and he's just going to trot through the bridge at a quicker clip than normal- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm ((LAST SONG GRAB YO STUFF)) Bull 8:13 pm *Bull follows in after* Smokescreen 8:13 pm ... Oh. Well, that's pretty personal- he was pretty private about slag, and I don't know what parts you would know already. VProwl 8:14 pm @S «Good. I've had quite enough of—everything, lately. People. People who can screw up reality.» Magnum Ace 8:14 pm ...I think Meckel is a bit angry. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm [[Greetings, Ace, Bull.]]

*He'll nod over to the small stepladder stashed next to one of the couches. Zori proposed it as a possibly helpful item recently.* Prowl 8:14 pm *clasps her hands together on the table and listens to the music/room* Magnum Ace 8:14 pm Hello, Soundwave! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm @P: [[...He apologizes for that.]] Bull 8:14 pm I was not sticking around to find out. Hi, Soundwave Magnum Ace 8:15 pm I...might have had something to do with it? VProwl 8:15 pm @S «You're only involved in half of it.» @S «... That's not true. Sixty-eight percent of it.» Bull 8:16 pm What did you do? *Bull was already regretting asking the question* Magnum Ace 8:16 pm ....... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:16 pm ((WARNINGS: idfk i wanted to go into this blind, it's hitchcock, that means murder mysteries. so, uh. murder, mystery, probably fifties sexism, a blond lady in trouble or causing it, and then the rest is whatever it is tonight.)) Magnum Ace 8:16 pm I may have.....decided to exit through a window. Again. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:16 pm ((oh, and heights, i guess, probably. it is called vertigo.)) Shocky 8:16 pm *There is an awful lot of bots here. He'll shift a little further away from people and quietly observe from there* Bull 8:17 pm Why?! *There was a slight whine to his voice; not liking the idea of an angry Meckel* Magnum Ace 8:17 pm -oh, look, he's being distracted by climbing up to the table- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:17 pm *Soundwave settles in and half listens to the talk about Meckel while the movie starts.*

@P: [[He will endeavor to be as realistic as possible for at least three weeks.]] Specs 8:18 pm *be mindful of where you sit, Shockwave. the dragon is only the size of a fox, and she tends to perch on the back of couches where no one else is sitting* VProwl 8:18 pm @S «I think I'm going to need more than three weeks, but I appreciate the effort.» Magnum Ace 8:18 pm -Guilt, what guilt, he's fine- Bull 8:19 pm *Bull follows Magnum to their normal spot; still giving his fellow leaguer a look* Magnum Ace 8:19 pm .... Omicron 8:19 pm *Ice queen stepps in, looking around* Magnum Ace 8:19 pm The other exit was blocked. By Richard. -who he still hasn't talked to- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:20 pm (("guys we forgot to make credits" "uhhhh my kid's got a Spirograph set?" "good, use that") Bull 8:20 pm Oh... *that was understandable* Specs 8:20 pm Ice Queen! *here comes the fluffiest dragon, looking to become the fluffiest epaulette* How have you been? Shocky 8:20 pm *Shockwave half looks at the new comer before focusing on the strange abstract film opening* Smokescreen 8:21 pm /Smokescreen's going to go ahead and offer the cube of high grade to Prowl!/ Hitchcock, huh? He did that bird documentary, right? Omicron 8:21 pm *Icy ducks her head and chirps to fluffy dragon, offering a wing for them to climb up to her back with racer* Magnum Ace 8:21 pm ....Carl may have seen me do that. And decided to try... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm [[Yes. And the murder surrounding the key.]] Magnum Ace 8:21 pm -That's why Meckel was mad at him- Smokescreen 8:21 pm And that movie about clowning around? Bull 8:22 pm No, he didn't... Oh Silkie's not gonna be happy either. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm [[...About what?]] Smokescreen 8:22 pm You know, it was about clowns doing the slag that clowns do? VProwl 8:22 pm *oh, police offic— oh. never mind.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm *Well, that was an unpleasant opening.* Magnum Ace 8:23 pm He...did. He's being fixed, and...kinda my fault he has to be Specs 8:23 pm *floof floof* *dragon solidarity* VProwl 8:23 pm *oh, another police officer. one that's quitting but still.* Magnum Ace 8:24 pm .....he's really not going to be -he was bracing himself for that talk- Bull 8:24 pm *he really didn't want be in Magnum's place* Smokescreen 8:24 pm W. What saying I think she just wants to get rid of him Magnum Ace 8:25 pm -he's in for it- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:26 pm [[Ah. Then they do not date anymore.]] Smokescreen 8:26 pm War? Wait, what war? Shocky 8:26 pm *Shockwave likes this femme so far. Seems like a practical quiet sort* Omicron 8:26 pm *the big predacon settles in her spot to the side, crossing forelegs and gives fluffy dragon a lick, and grins as Racer tries to groom them too* Swoop 8:27 pm ((I'm ooc. Don't mind me.)) Omicron 8:27 pm ((what is the name of the movie?)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:27 pm ((Yo)) ((Vertigo)) VProwl 8:28 pm Perhaps they shouldn't have done that next to the window. Bull 8:29 pm He's got it worse then me. *knows what it's like to be afraid of heights* Specs 8:29 pm *the smaller dragon chirps at Racer, and gives him a lick back too. HE'S certainly clean, especially in comparison to smokescreen. as long as he's careful and doesn't tug out her fur, he can try to groom her as much as he pleases.* VProwl 8:29 pm He's got the right idea, though. Gradual desensitization. Omicron 8:29 pm ((thanks!)) Smokescreen 8:29 pm whoa that's a fancy desk Magnum Ace 8:29 pm You're getting better with yours ItsyBitsySpyers 8:29 pm [[Hmm. He wonders how Blades is doing these days...]] Bull 8:30 pm *Bull gives a rueful chuckle* I don't know if I should thank or blame the Deus. Prowl 8:30 pm He's a grounder now. Smokescreen 8:30 pm ... Man, it's been forever since I've since those rescue bots where I am- I wonder if they ever learned about, uh, stuff. Magnum Ace 8:30 pm Both ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm [[He knows that. He means afterward.]] ((... the phone rang once, stopped, and then about 30 seconds later rang once and stopped. what even?)) Magnum Ace 8:30 pm I'm surprised Windy isn't scared of heights after that though Omicron 8:31 pm Racer: *he's very clean! he just got groomed by one of his insecticon minders before coming! gives a rumbly like purr attempt as he tries to groom* Smokescreen 8:31 pm ....... Shocky 8:31 pm **That gavin fellow sounds an awful lot like the old senators* Smokescreen 8:31 pm . . . Bull 8:31 pm I think he'd hate volcanoes and lava more. Prowl 8:31 pm He avoids some of the higher roads according to Chase, but other than that, he's functioning well enough. VProwl 8:32 pm He's a fool. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:32 pm ((i was looking at the phone stuff, why is he supposed to be following?)) VProwl 8:32 pm Even if you don't believe those things, you investigate the situation to find out what's going on. Magnum Ace 8:32 pm True. I don't blame him, though. VProwl 8:32 pm ((this dude thinks that his wife is being haunted by someone dead and wants a retired detective to follow her and see what's up)) Specs 8:32 pm *chirps at Racer and licks the top of his head gently. the dragon's got a rough, catlike tongue, designed for grooming all that thick fluffy fur. not so good for cleaning metal.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm [[He has heard that Earth felines and Earth canines sense ghosts. If this human thinks his conjunx is being haunted, he should get her one.]] Magnum Ace 8:33 pm ...that entire trip was just one disaster after another Smokescreen 8:33 pm Do you really need to snoop into her life that much? Bull 8:34 pm More or less. *They all had their experiences on that trip* VProwl 8:34 pm Has he tried getting involved with HER yet? Ask her about those apparent gaps in her behavior? Call out her contradictions? Rather than involving either doctors OR detectives? Shocky 8:34 pm *These health conditions with their conjunx is uncomfortably close to touching with issues with his own* Prowl 8:35 pm Doubtful if he's asking someone else to do it. VProwl 8:35 pm He doesn't know yet whether she's possessed or simply lying, and already he's having somebody stalk her. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:35 pm [[That is a good point.]] Omicron 8:35 pm Racer: *doesn't mind one bit, reflexively gives a lick back, little smoother of a forcked glossa, no drools or left over energon though! ....she might get gold dust shines though* Magnum Ace 8:35 pm Hopefully this season goes better Smokescreen 8:35 pm Maybe she's trying to get away from him? Bull 8:35 pm If anyone says we should 'take a vacation' or that we should go training overseas, I'll say no thanks. Omicron 8:36 pm *Icy just watches movie, little confused, but liking some of the humans* Specs 8:36 pm *nothing wrong with being a little sparkly! as long as there's no energon drool on her, Racer's a good bean.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:36 pm *What went wrong on that trip, he wonders.* Magnum Ace 8:36 pm -snorts in laughter- I'm sure you won't be the only one Omicron 8:37 pm Interesting the difference between the views....wonder if any mech has been those cars Shocky 8:37 pm strange altmodes they drive in... Magnum Ace 8:38 pm I like my plating attached, thanks Smokescreen 8:38 pm They're ancient alt modes! Bull 8:38 pm I think I rather go training with Jurota in the mountains; gotta be safer. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:38 pm [[He will give the humans one advantage: it must be easier to follow each other in their cars since they do not identify each other by which one they are.]] Magnum Ace 8:38 pm -EVERYTHING went wrong on it- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:38 pm [[Or in their case, are driving.]] Omicron 8:39 pm this...is very stalker like Smokescreen 8:39 pm But can't they see each other inside the cars? Magnum Ace 8:39 pm ....just watch for storms. They get nasty up there Bull 8:39 pm Still; safer. Smokescreen 8:39 pm Her husband did pay him to basically professionally stalk because he doesn't want to talk to his own wife. Omicron 8:40 pm so...is smokescreen still not clean? *to specs* Magnum Ace 8:40 pm True. Less...everything that was that trip Specs 8:40 pm Unless I can prove he's taken a bath today, and it's not his first one this month? Absolutely not. Shocky 8:40 pm *looks at the one insisting on cleanliness and tilts his helm* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:41 pm [[Humans have terrible vision. They measure their visual acuity in lengths shorter than he is tall.]] Specs 8:41 pm *look, she grooms herself with her tongue. she HAS to insist on cleanliness. there's just too many bad things that happen otherwise.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:41 pm [[They would consider it a badge of honor to lay on the ground and still be able to see the glyphs on his visor. It is sad.]] Smokescreen 8:41 pm /Smokescreen's snooping, and is staring at Specs right now./ Omicron 8:41 pm .....*grings at the fluffy dragon* want to get him over here and I can make sure he's clean? at least for the evening Magnum Ace 8:41 pm Still, at least we shouldn't have to do that again ItsyBitsySpyers 8:42 pm *The useless facts you pick up when you're investigating octopus eyes...* Magnum Ace 8:42 pm Unless Owner has another relative that's playing dead somewhere Smokescreen 8:42 pm Seriously? Humans have vision that bad? But isn't that why some of them wear glasses? so their vision can be as good as ours? Prowl 8:42 pm Glasses? Specs 8:42 pm ...*ooh, she's considering that* Does that qualify as a disruption, you think? Bull 8:43 pm .... *now that he thought about it; no one ever talked about her mother* Omicron 8:43 pm *Ice Queen isn't sure, staaaaaaaaares at Soundwave, and give him a ping* Magnum Ace 8:43 pm ..... Smokescreen 8:43 pm Yeah! They're kinda like visors, but they have two pieces of glass that by- I'm not exactly sure how it works, but it gives them super good vision. VProwl 8:43 pm *looks at Soundwave* ... How do they drive? Bull 8:43 pm *Then again that was a can of worms Bull was NOT gonna pry at* Magnum Ace 8:43 pm -please don't- ItsyBitsySpyers 8:44 pm *Ravage stumbles back downstairs and over to the dragons. He flops down, flips onto his back, and whispers.* =Very... very good.= *PURRING AWAY. Content felinoid.*

[[Please, do not forcibly bathe anyone onthe premises. If you must remove the stink, take them outside and use a hose.]] Shocky 8:44 pm these close up shots are quite unnecessary Prowl 8:44 pm Ah. Smokescreen 8:44 pm It's supposed to show what the humans are focusing on! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm @Prowl: [[The humans? Haven't you had them driving you before?]] Smokescreen 8:45 pm ... Wait, forcibly bathing? Why would anyone do that anyway? Specs 8:45 pm *that's one delighted chirp from the dragon* I think I'll make that again, then! *always nice to see someone appreciate her cooking* Omicron 8:46 pm hm... maybe outside. *blinks, lowers head and sniffs at Ravage?* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:46 pm *Ravage goes wide-opticked and bats at the nose.* *He then DARTS THE HELL OFF and into a corner* Magnum Ace 8:47 pm -what the hell was that blur?- Specs 8:48 pm *poofs up* *well, that's something* Magnum Ace 8:48 pm -it looked cat shaped- VProwl 8:48 pm @S «I didn't know they couldn't see that far.» Omicron 8:48 pm *big dragon blinks, well...did she do that?* VProwl 8:49 pm *he retroactively feels much less safe.* Smokescreen 8:50 pm ... Sounds, do you know how glasses work? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm [[-He- would like a question like that. He doesn't see what the Midge human has against it.]]

[[Of course he knows how glasses work. Some Cybertronians require visual assistance as well.]] Magnum Ace 8:51 pm ...-tempted to ask for a baseball, to see if it was a cat- Smokescreen 8:51 pm But what about glasses for humans? How do they make the glass that lets them see better? VProwl 8:51 pm Her issue with it is that it clearly wasn't his original question and he's dodging the question. @S «... What's up with Ravage?» Prowl 8:52 pm Ah, so they are the same as visors. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:53 pm @P: [[Tinsel cookies. Something about the substance overstimulates his olfactory sensors. Temporary glitch.]]

[[He does not know how the glasses are made. Only the ones they put in their eyes.]] Omicron 8:53 pm *Icy turns back and gives her hatchling and fluffy dragon a good few licks, purring under them* Smokescreen 8:53 pm Wait- the ones they put into their eyes? They what? Specs 8:54 pm *purrs and chirrups at the predacon. SHE'S clean, at least* Shocky 8:54 pm this investigator seems quite the rude type... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm [[Sharp, isn't she.]] VProwl 8:55 pm Quite. Omicron 8:55 pm *Icy approves of the clean!* oh, thought you might like to meet someone new by chance. Likely won't get her out from under her hiding place Prowl 8:55 pm She should be a detective. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm [[And why rude, do you say?]] *Not that he disagrees. He just wants to know.* Specs 8:56 pm Oh? Shocky 8:56 pm They are too abrupt in their treatment, to stern with no manners it is slighly vexing. VProwl 8:58 pm Why wouldn't he tell his own spouse these things about her own history. He's a terrible spouse. Omicron 8:58 pm *Icy nods at her left wing, shifting a little so her passenger can just hear a protesting mew under* Specs 8:59 pm Are genealogy records simply not available to these humans? *blinks and turns her head. there's someone there!* Omicron 8:59 pm apparently not....or not easy to find? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:59 pm *SOUNDWAVE HEARD A MEW.* Omicron 9:00 pm *There was a tiny mew!* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *There is a cat in here and it is not Ravage. His screen goes ! and all.* Magnum Ace 9:00 pm -is there a cat in here?- -other than Ravage- Bull 9:00 pm !!! Specs 9:00 pm *chirrups and searches for the mewler* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *It then goes ! brighter and redder. She threw herself off!?* Magnum Ace 9:00 pm !!! Omicron 9:01 pm whaaa...what? !! VProwl 9:01 pm Maybe she's being "driven mad" by a husband that sneaks behind her back, stalks her, and keeps secrets from her about her own family. Prowl 9:01 pm That seems a great deal more plausible than a ghost. Omicron 9:01 pm *specs can hear another little mew as icy moves, and Racer just...jumps on the spot* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:03 pm [[...He's not going to explain why she is there without her outerwear?]] [[Or who he is? Or where she is?]] Shocky 9:03 pm *shockwave is frustrated with the film now* why not simply call their conjunx? would it not be more rational? Specs 9:04 pm Racer! *why he jump on the mewler. wait...* *the dragon actually turns and noses around- could this be a second hatchling?* Omicron 9:05 pm Racer: *bounces on Icy's wing, its strong enough that he doesn't hurt, then he's showing the other small dragon how to get in under the big wing, squiring over to his sibling* Specs 9:06 pm *follows Racer, and then gasps gently. it IS another hatchling! hello, little one. have a lick.* Prowl 9:06 pm Rational behavior seems to have died with the officer on that rooftop. Magnum Ace 9:08 pm -what just happened?- Omicron 9:08 pm *little sparkling meeps, wide golden optic at new person! omgomgomg new person- oh, a lick...sparkling calms down* VProwl 9:09 pm Their sexual tension is boring, unconvincing, and distracting from the far more important mystery at hand. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:09 pm [[Agreed.]] Omicron 9:09 pm I agree Specs 9:09 pm *chirps at the hatchling again, before curling up nearby and purring as strongly as possible. the dragon's no motorcycle engine, but she can manage a decent rumble.* Bull 9:10 pm And she's gone... Shocky 9:10 pm perhaps not the wisest idea to turn their back on them ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm [[He would not blame her for fleeing.]] Magnum Ace 9:10 pm ..... Prowl 9:11 pm Is that what the overly long wrist touch was meant to be? The audio description didn't go into detail. VProwl 9:11 pm Not at all. Omicron 9:11 pm RAcer: *noses his sibling, snuggling and loving on until little hands shyly reach out at take a small bat at fluffy purring thing-person of soft* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm [[He's following her AGAIN?]] VProwl 9:11 pm Yes, there was hand-touching and silent staring at each other. When characters silently stare at each other for no good reason, especially while touching, it's usually meant to indicate sexual tension. Prowl 9:12 pm Humans have strange ideas of what sexual tension is. Specs 9:12 pm *chirrups and licks the hatchling again. yes, she is a Soft and Safe purry furry dragon. you may touch.* Omicron 9:12 pm These are really strange humans.... Magnum Ace 9:12 pm -huffs- VProwl 9:13 pm *...... does his alternate have a conception of staring or is it all completely abstract to her. he doesn't know.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:13 pm [[One moment. How did he get both of their cars to his home location after the fall into the water?]] Magnum Ace 9:13 pm This is... Omicron 9:13 pm ....that is a good question Prowl 9:13 pm *has a very good idea but since she's never discussed her blindness with her alternate, he wouldn't really know* Shocky 9:13 pm he must of walked there after getting her home VProwl 9:13 pm ... Perhaps he towed it? *no, he wouldn't. and he feels like it might be rude to ask. so he'll just wonder.* Omicron 9:14 pm *little hatchling slowly inches closer...and then sniffs...she bops her head int othe soft fluff* Magnum Ace 9:14 pm ...a bit uncomfortable ItsyBitsySpyers 9:14 pm [[A little more than a bit.]] VProwl 9:15 pm "A bit." Bull 9:15 pm ...Getting even creepier. Specs 9:15 pm *oh, that's precious. the dragon continues to purr, and licks the hatchling on the head comfortingly. hatchlings are perfect beings.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm [[Drive off, human.]] VProwl 9:15 pm Leave without him. Magnum Ace 9:15 pm ...... VProwl 9:15 pm ... Well, as long as your stalker always knows where you are, you might as well always know where he is, I suppose. Prowl 9:15 pm Why are they pausing so much while talking? Is this another human sexual attraction thing? VProwl 9:16 pm Yes. I think so, anyway. Omicron 9:16 pm Racer: *wiggles over to flop on them both, going back to snuggling with his sister, and happy* ((9231y23tyhgsgsg!!!!!!!!!! That's WHERE I LIVE!!)) (Was part of this filmed in washington???) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:17 pm [[It's hardly the tree's fault she is an organic with a short life span.]] VProwl 9:17 pm ... So now she thinks she's the dead person. Has she thought that all along during their interactions? Smokescreen 9:18 pm wait frag I kinda got distracted what'd I miss Magnum Ace 9:18 pm .... Bull 9:18 pm .... *is getting a bad feeling* Specs 9:18 pm ((most of it was, probably- hitchcock either lived in washington or liked it a lot)) Magnum Ace 9:18 pm -same here, Bull- Omicron 9:19 pm ....the frag human VProwl 9:19 pm Oh, leave her alone. Omicron 9:19 pm (Mwahah! I know that rest stop) (good work with the camera angles to avoid it) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:20 pm ((lmao)) Magnum Ace 9:20 pm What.... Specs 9:20 pm *OOF. Racer is a good bean, but predacon hatchlings are so heavy! still, there are snuggles to be had, and hatchling foreheads to clean.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:20 pm [[He refuses to be responsible for Wheeljack forever.]] Shocky 9:20 pm *shockwave hides a quiet snort* Omicron 9:20 pm That sound like something my insecticons would say ItsyBitsySpyers 9:21 pm *Soundwave wouldn't have minded if Shockwave snorted out loud. It's a miserable situation and he knows it.* Magnum Ace 9:21 pm ...... Omicron 9:21 pm *new hatchling smiles at grooming, and she pokes her glossa out off and on, petting dragon* Prowl 9:22 pm Madeline thinks she's a dead human. She and the ex-detective are having sexual tension while he continues to stalk her as instructed by her... huzband? Magnum Ace 9:22 pm -what is going on in this movie?- VProwl 9:22 pm Husband, yes. A conjunx that uses "he." Magnum Ace 9:22 pm ........ VProwl 9:22 pm Eugh. Prowl 9:22 pm Oh, and the ghost is trying to kill her. Specs 9:22 pm *yes. this is perfect. this is a blessed day all around. if the dragon could purr any more vigorously, she'd be at risk of shaking herself apart* Omicron 9:22 pm .....what in Primus' name you strange organics Bull 9:22 pm That's gonna cause trouble Magnum Ace 9:23 pm -facepalms- Shocky 9:23 pm ..... ItsyBitsySpyers 9:23 pm [[...What.]] Prowl 9:23 pm Primus. Tarantulas 9:23 pm *guess who's super duper fashionably late to the party and gonna linger at the back of the room next to the snacks for a while* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:23 pm [[Could we not have had a film about this Midge human? He likes her far more.]] Prowl 9:23 pm Hm, agreed. Shocky 9:23 pm midge is indeed much more interesting VProwl 9:24 pm She's intelligent, she's competent, she's got her life together. She's not emotionally unstable enough to carry a movie. Omicron 9:24 pm *Icy sniffs at the air, and looks over at Tarantulas, gives a soft chirp* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:24 pm *Soundwave huffs. That may be true, but he'd watch it anyway.* *Soundwave pings Tarantulas hello.* [[Ha.]] Tarantulas 9:25 pm *ping for soundwave, and a spidery-limbed wave in icy's direction* Bull 9:25 pm .... awkward VProwl 9:25 pm *tragically, hasn't seen tarantulas yet.* Shocky 9:25 pm it is quite the pretty painting... Prowl 9:26 pm *conjunx that uses he...* Is there an English word for a conjunx that doesn't use he or she? Omicron 9:26 pm *Icy shifts her wing, grings at the chirp and mew and shifts the cuddle pile under her wing to a better balanced spot* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:26 pm [[Oh, don't ruin it over him.]] [[It was a good message.]] VProwl 9:26 pm I think all humans use he or she. All the ones I've ever met or heard about, anyway. Prowl 9:26 pm Ah. Omicron 9:27 pm *looks at Prow* I think 'they' is used a lot? at least one human my crew liked did? *does that help?* Magnum Ace 9:28 pm . . . VProwl 9:28 pm ... I've heard of /one/ person who uses "they." They aren't human, though. Maybe it's just rare among humans. Smokescreen 9:29 pm !!! /Smokescreen's waving to Tarantulas!/ Prowl 9:29 pm I've only spoken with one human and she used she. Tarantulas 9:29 pm *there's no way tarantulas is gonna be able to catch up and pay attention to the movie is there, not this late and with - a shOCKWAVE. THERE'S A SHOCkwave in here, act natural tara* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:29 pm [[Who were they?]] *Looking at Prowl.* Tarantulas 9:30 pm *for now he'll edge his way over to smokescreen and say hello via a pat on the helm* Prowl 9:30 pm Ratchet's human partner, June. Smokescreen 9:31 pm ... /He wasn't expecting Tarantulas to come to him, especially when Prowl's here. The helm pat gets his doorwings wiggling, and Smokescreen's reaching to pat Messy back!/ VProwl 9:32 pm Chimera. Magnum Ace 9:32 pm ........ VProwl 9:32 pm *...which prowl were you looking at, soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm [[She's clearly uncomfortable. Desist.]]

[[...He didn't expect you to remember them. Few others do.]] Omicron 9:33 pm .....I don't think 'kissing' is supposed to work that way? Bull 9:33 pm *is not liking this* VProwl 9:33 pm They don't know each other at all! They're being absurd. Bull 9:33 pm don't let her go in alone.... Shocky 9:33 pm this is quite unrealistic Specs 9:33 pm *see, hanging in a cuddlepuddle with the hatchlings is far better than watching this ridiculous movie* Smokescreen 9:34 pm ... Is this what human religious buildings are like? VProwl 9:34 pm *puzzled look at Soundwave* Why wouldn't I remember them? Magnum Ace 9:34 pm Oh...that's not good Bull 9:34 pm *doesn't like where this is going; starts to duck his head* Omicron 9:34 pm *icy's tempted to stick her head under her wing too* .......... Magnum Ace 9:34 pm .......... Omicron 9:35 pm ..........what....the....frag Bull 9:35 pm *doesn't look up; he knows what happened* VProwl 9:35 pm ... Excellent work, detective. Tarantulas 9:35 pm *near smokey, not loudly* ...Oh goodness, I've come in at the most wonderful time, haven't I. Magnum Ace 9:35 pm -pats Bull's shoulders- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm @P: [[They are sparkless, and a Cybertronian creation, not a Cybertronian as they are commonly understood. Most who discover that dismiss and ignore them. The rest simply forget because Chimera is too shy to appear in person most times. That is why.]] [[...How unfortunate for the Madeleine human.]] Specs 9:36 pm *shifts a little so that she can poke her snout out from beneath Ice Queen's wing momentarily* Did I hear Chimera's name? Smokescreen 9:36 pm /Smokescreen's starting to cling to Tarantulas a bit, nodding/ You did- you mostly missed this one human being a jerk. It's good to see you again! VProwl 9:36 pm @S «Hm. Well. ... I haven't forgot them.» Smokescreen 9:36 pm the husband can be blamed for everything didn't even try to talk to her Omicron 9:37 pm Racer: *head resting on the the dragon poof, blep at her* Prowl 9:37 pm *will move a little away from Smokescreen so his new visitor can sit down if he likes* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:37 pm @P: [[...Thank you, in all sincerity. He will tell them that.]]

[[Yes. They're upstairs right now, playing a dice game with Zori.]] VProwl 9:37 pm *longing side glance at Tarantulas. he's all the way over there.* Bull 9:38 pm It wouldn't help... It's never that easy. Tarantulas 9:38 pm It's good to see you as well, Smokescreen. *another pet to the helm, and he offers smokey some snacks he'd snatched from the back table - but he's not sitting down, no, seems to just be stopping by* Smokescreen 9:38 pm ... /He's happy to accept the treat, happy to have Tarantula's company while he can./ Specs 9:38 pm How fitting, the cutest cat and cutest scorpion spending time together. *returns to the hatchlings and licks Racer right onna nose* Prowl 9:38 pm *oh good, Prowl's not up for strangers* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm [[They often do, those two.]] Specs 9:39 pm ((...what the FUCK is going on here with that coroner. does he know the detective? is he just a bitch?)) Windchill 9:39 pm *He's here, sorry.* Omicron 9:39 pm [he's being an aft] Specs 9:40 pm ((wait, judge? coroner? whatever. aft confirmed.)) Shocky 9:41 pm *Shockwave has seen quite enough of this story. It is far too tragic and unsatisfying for his liking. He gets up to leave* Omicron 9:41 pm Racer: !! 😀 *licks back, then licks his sibling, tugging on a little kibble bits to get her to make sound and wiggle a bit. other hatchling hides her head under specs* Windchill 9:41 pm This is one of those talking movies, isn't it? Shocky 9:41 pm good evening all, thank you for the evening. Tarantulas 9:41 pm *a ping to smokey with a promise to visit later? words are hard for tarantulas right now while he knows his science idol's nearby and - is he leaving? oh nooooo* Prowl 9:41 pm I thought Chimera was a serpent? *that's what Mirage's one report that mentioned them said anyway* Are they a shifter of some kind, Soundwave? Smokescreen 9:41 pm Awww- bye Shocks! Can I show you some more movies later? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:41 pm [[Farewell.]] ((oof i'm sorry to anyone about the colors changing)) Windchill 9:42 pm *He's not going to bother sitting down this late in the game.* Omicron 9:42 pm *Ice Queen nods at Shockwave, wary, but polite * VProwl 9:42 pm *not a fan of the flashing colors. Would rather they don't.* Specs 9:42 pm *chirps at Racer, gently reaching out to boop him on the nose* No, be nice to your sibling. She can hide if she wants. Shocky 9:42 pm perhaps Smokescreen. Good night. *he leaves promptly* Windchill 9:42 pm *Snorts.* Smokescreen 9:43 pm /Smokescreen looks a little disappointed- is Tarantulas going there already? Oh... Well, he's going to pet Tarantulas a bit more, before letting go, letting him go over to Prowl if he wants./ ItsyBitsySpyers 9:43 pm [[Chimera is a serpent, yes. And a bird, and a feline, when it suits them. You could call them a shapeshifter, yes.]] VProwl 9:44 pm "Triplechanger," I'd think. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:44 pm [[Oh, that /would/ be closer.]] Smokescreen 9:44 pm ... What is that place and what is that thing Prowl 9:44 pm It would be much closer if they're limited to only those forms. Magnum Ace 9:44 pm ....... Specs 9:44 pm *sticks her snout out again real quick* Chimera is a good person. VProwl 9:44 pm *... he's been committed, hasn't he.* *tenses.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:45 pm *Overturns hand and pings.* Magnum Ace 9:45 pm He lost his mind, didn't he? VProwl 9:45 pm *... takes it.* Specs 9:45 pm *and there she goes again. gotta speak in support of that Good Chimera Friend* Tarantulas 9:45 pm *visibly loosens up a bit after shockwave leaves and comes over to vprowl - here, have yet another distraction* Prowl 9:45 pm I've never met Chimera personally. Smokescreen 9:45 pm Melancholia? Omicron 9:45 pm *The younger hatchling snuggles, then mews at the fluffy leaving !! she edges closer after, sniffing* Specs 9:46 pm *don't worry, little one. the fluffy returns. can't leave little bitlets unsnuggled for long!* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm [[A very good person. One of the best he's ever known, in fact.]] *Glances to the other Prowl, nodding at Tarantulas on the way.* [[He could arrange for them to drop by, if you like. They might like to have unusual company.]] Smokescreen 9:46 pm ... /shifting himself so he doesn't see Boxy Prowl or Tarantulas./ Prowl 9:47 pm *sorry Smokescreen, you're stuck with her* Bull 9:47 pm .... Smokescreen 9:47 pm /He's probably looking right at Rounder Prowl, scooting in again/ VProwl 9:48 pm *oh good. hello tara.* Magnum Ace 9:48 pm . . . Prowl 9:48 pm *can feel him scooting, yes?* Windchill 9:48 pm *That's a lot of red.* *He doesn't care for it.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:48 pm *Thinks it's fantastic.* Omicron 9:48 pm Racer: *gives licks, but soon he wiggles out to bounce around on Icy's back, leaving his sibling to snuggle* Windchill 9:48 pm *All things in moderation please.* VProwl 9:49 pm *in what ways can prowl latch on to you.* Prowl 9:49 pm Is he going to stalk some one else now? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:49 pm [[Is he following another-- that is what he wondered.]] Omicron 9:49 pm it looks like it Windchill 9:50 pm (( Is anyone else's chat shifting up and down? It's starting to irritate me. )) Magnum Ace 9:50 pm -is concerned now- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm ((OH there's a fix for that update uhhhh hold on)) Magnum Ace 9:50 pm ((yeah Omicron 9:50 pm (a little) Smokescreen 9:50 pm /Yep! Smokescreen's getting pretty comfy, but is giving Prowl a bit of space so she can choose if she wants to get closer./ ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm *Rubs thumb on Prowl's hand and delivers a question ping. Better now that he's out?* Bull 9:50 pm *Bull is internally noping* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm (( https://userstyles.org/styles/149395/rabb-it-css-fixup?utm_campaign=stylish_stylepage )) Tarantulas 9:50 pm *if vprowl's talking about latching onto tara - all the ways. he's settling in as near to prowl as he can get* Windchill 9:51 pm (( Okay no worries I was just wondering if it was me and I needed to update or something. Every time Rabbit does something new I suddenly don't know how to use it anymore. Me? Resistant to change? Yes. )) Prowl 9:51 pm *she'll allow him to hover nearby, that's close enough, but she's relaxed now that Shockwave has left* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:51 pm ((if it doesn't work right away refresh rabbit))

((and ye no prob we all hated it too, it's a bad update)) Specs 9:51 pm *that's okay. the fluffy is happy to ignore the movie and snuggle whichever hatchlings want snuggles.* Windchill 9:51 pm (( KK thanks! I'll update later now that I know I won't be plagued with it the rest of my life. )) Creepy. Magnum Ace 9:52 pm .... VProwl 9:52 pm *he's going to wrap a hand around Tarantulas's elbow.* Smokescreen 9:52 pm What a creep. Omicron 9:52 pm what...the frag human. Magnum Ace 9:52 pm .... VProwl 9:52 pm He's a jerk. He's been a jerk the whole movie and he's still a jerk now. Windchill 9:53 pm She could have kicked him in the nuts. Smokescreen 9:53 pm Are there really humans like this? Windchill 9:53 pm There are mecha like this. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:53 pm [[There are mechs like this as-- yes, thank you.]] Prowl 9:53 pm She should have closed the door in his face. VProwl 9:53 pm She should. Smokescreen 9:53 pm I know there are mecha like this- but are there really humans awful in this way? Bull 9:54 pm He shouldn't be there... He should just get away from there. Windchill 9:54 pm Humans aren't special. Omicron 9:54 pm There are some predacons alike too...but most of the time they will get bitten Magnum Ace 9:54 pm He...is a human I would not like coming near our compound ItsyBitsySpyers 9:54 pm [[She should have punched him and gone for assistance.]] Prowl 9:54 pm He should also know better than to follow others to their homes. Smokescreen 9:54 pm You don You don't have to apologize! He's the one being a creep. Prowl 9:54 pm No matter who they look like. Windchill 9:54 pm *Why is she taking pity on him, damn you script.* VProwl 9:54 pm I'd blame it on his emotional instability but he's been like this the whole way through. Prowl 9:55 pm Exactly. Smokescreen 9:55 pm I see bots that look like certain other bots all the time- doesn't mean I follow them and force them to feel bad for me. Windchill 9:55 pm Say no. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm [[Who in Primus' name would go on a date after that.]] Windchill 9:55 pm Damn it. Magnum Ace 9:55 pm ............. Omicron 9:55 pm *sparkling slowly inches up and careful flop of the fluffy dragon, she's about a third racer's side* Magnum Ace 9:55 pm -facepalms- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm [[Change hotels, human.]] Prowl 9:55 pm Foolish. Omicron 9:56 pm why...are you... leave woman Windchill 9:56 pm *Well, he might have, but he was in a darker place at the time.* Bull 9:56 pm *Bull ducks his head again* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:56 pm *Sits up fast* Prowl 9:57 pm Oh. Omicron 9:57 pm ...what the frag Smokescreen 9:57 pm Oh good she's getting out of there Windchill 9:57 pm One can hope. VProwl 9:57 pm Where'd she get a license from another state with someone else's name? Specs 9:57 pm *oh goodness. such a tiny little hatchling. so cute, so pure. snug snug.* Magnum Ace 9:57 pm Leave, don't...what? Smokescreen 9:57 pm Huh- she's left handed too? I heard that's unusual for humans. Prowl 9:58 pm Her real name? Smokescreen 9:58 pm Fake IDs are really easy to get if you know where to go Windchill 9:58 pm ...Huh. Omicron 9:58 pm what... VProwl 9:58 pm ... Aha. Windchill 9:59 pm Gross. Smokescreen 9:59 pm you know he's the kind to rummage through seemingly-stranger's trash though Windchill 10:00 pm It's that red again. Magnum Ace 10:00 pm ..... Omicron 10:00 pm *little sparkling gives a happy sound, tucks her arms and legs up into the snuggling* Prowl 10:00 pm Is there something wrong with the red? Windchill 10:01 pm I think they used too much. Omicron 10:01 pm *Icy lets racer down to sniff around the snack table* Smokescreen 10:01 pm They had a LOT of red paint Prowl 10:01 pm Ah. Windchill 10:01 pm Like a dark ritual meant to summon a headache. Smokescreen 10:01 pm Ugh. What a creep. You've gone one ONE date. Omicron 10:01 pm ......what the frag VProwl 10:02 pm You think you've known her one night. Magnum Ace 10:02 pm ....... Bull 10:02 pm Even if it was faked, he's broken... Magnum Ace 10:02 pm This is not going to go well ItsyBitsySpyers 10:02 pm [[She is no better for lying to him.]] VProwl 10:02 pm To be fair, in reality, he ALSO barely knows her. Prowl 10:03 pm She should have given him the letter and turned herself into the police for her part in the murder. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:03 pm [[And after having forced him through all of that.]] Specs 10:03 pm *oh, no. just when the baby's gotten all comfortable... five more minutes. she'll just keep purring and cuddling with the bitlet for now.* Windchill 10:03 pm Man. Smokescreen 10:04 pm The lying is wrong, but that doesn't make his behavior right. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:04 pm [[Neither should be anywhere near the other.]] VProwl 10:04 pm Hm. Of course, she should turn herself in. However, at this point I like him quite a lot less than her. And I don't like her. Windchill 10:04 pm She's got more paint on her eyebrows than I do. Impressive. Bull 10:04 pm *he knows exactly what he's trying to do* Omicron 10:05 pm Racer, go say hello if you want before its too late *Icy snorts, watches him scoot around to go doe that....then she snorts at the screen* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm [[...Is he attempting to dress her like the other?]] Smokescreen 10:05 pm ... Yeeeep. Bull 10:05 pm ...... Magnum Ace 10:05 pm ................ Windchill 10:05 pm What a control freak. VProwl 10:06 pm He needs to let go of her. Magnum Ace 10:06 pm He's a worrying type of human Smokescreen 10:06 pm Ugh. Omicron 10:06 pm ....little female smack him Specs 10:06 pm *the dragon stretches, and reluctantly scoots out from under Ice Queen's wing after giving the bitlet one last lick on the forehead* Good night, everyone! ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm [[Who is this 'we'.]] Smokescreen 10:06 pm ... There really aren't humans like this, are there? Windchill 10:06 pm Of course there are. Humans wrote this about themselves. Smokescreen 10:06 pm ... Specs 10:06 pm ((gneh. normally I'd be able to handle this, but... night, everyone!)) VProwl 10:06 pm ((night)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm ((night)) Smokescreen 10:06 pm ((aaaaa night night Prowl 10:06 pm ((night! Windchill 10:07 pm (( Goodnight! )) Tarantulas 10:07 pm (( night! Magnum Ace 10:07 pm ((g'night! Omicron 10:07 pm (good night!) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:07 pm ((next week's should be far more enjoyable and light)) Omicron 10:07 pm *icy gives a purr to her and a chirp goodbye* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:07 pm ((i think it's the whales Trek)) Prowl 10:07 pm It's only been a few days. Smokescreen 10:08 pm Did you really have that much fun? He kinda barged into your room Windchill 10:08 pm *Visibly shudders* Prowl 10:08 pm *thinks they should both be arrested at this point* Smokescreen 10:08 pm He's not worth it. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm [[It is her appearance! How does that not matter to her?]] Omicron 10:08 pm Why is she tolerating this.... even I can see this is unheathy Smokescreen 10:09 pm ... That's really bad. VProwl 10:09 pm She's saying "no" over and over, of course it matters to her. I think she's a far better judge of what matters to her than he is! Prowl 10:09 pm Because she believes she's in love with him. VProwl 10:09 pm *disgusted noise* Bull 10:09 pm ..... *Bull really does not like this* Omicron 10:09 pm *also gives a disgusted sound* Smokescreen 10:09 pm But that doesn't mean she has to change herself- she shouldn't have to Magnum Ace 10:09 pm This man is....uncomfortable Bull 10:11 pm One year is not enough time to get over such trauma. Staying in the same place only makes it worse. Smokescreen 10:11 pm ... This is like. If I went up to Megs and was like "I want you to keep leading Cybertron but can you change your alt mode to be a truck and also paint yourself blue and red" Omicron 10:11 pm love is not that, love is being able to lean on someone. To be able to let your guard down around them for a time. To know what energon they like and they know how you like it *grumbling to herself* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm ((man i had a slight spoiler that there was an impersonation somewhere in it but i had nooooo idea it would be this messed up a story. i mean i'm fascinated in that trainwreck way but damn.)) Windchill 10:11 pm *Blonde is not her colour.* Tarantulas 10:12 pm *hrm. tara's having a few uneasy thoughts but having little trouble shunting them into a mental box that might as well be a trashcan. not so much thoughts about the situation, but personal ones* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm *Is someone having a bit of an epiphany over there* VProwl 10:13 pm *makes another disgusted sound* Magnum Ace 10:14 pm -UNCOMFORTABLE- Prowl 10:14 pm *shakes her head* Bull 10:14 pm *Bull is fully noping again* VProwl 10:14 pm *and another for good measure* Omicron 10:14 pm Primus I'm glade racer has no interest in screens outside of consoles Windchill 10:15 pm If Ernie's is the red place I vote no. Smokescreen 10:15 pm ... Muss you? Prowl 10:15 pm Ruin her paint. Smokescreen 10:15 pm Ohhh. VProwl 10:16 pm ... Isn't she not supposed to— yes. The jewelry is a giveaway. Bull 10:16 pm *red flags again* Windchill 10:17 pm How long before one of them ends up dead? Bull 10:17 pm no.... no.... Prowl 10:17 pm Not long at this rate. Magnum Ace 10:17 pm ..... Windchill 10:17 pm He could crash the car and take them both out. Omicron 10:17 pm I would not imagine long Smokescreen 10:17 pm Nooo- Prowl, come on. That won't happen, right? Magnum Ace 10:17 pm Oh no Smokescreen 10:17 pm ... oh no VProwl 10:18 pm That's not ominous at all. Omicron 10:18 pm *snorts* Windchill 10:18 pm They've got a dark filter on the screen and everything! Omicron 10:18 pm Racer: *edging ever to sniff soundwave's pede* Windchill 10:18 pm *He's not taking this seriously anymore. Easier to cope that way.* Smokescreen 10:18 pm Primus Bull 10:19 pm Don't go back into the past... Smokescreen 10:19 pm Reliving this stuff only makes it hurt more Bull 10:19 pm *is ducking his head again* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:19 pm [[Scream for help, human.]] VProwl 10:19 pm He's done nothing but manhandle her the whole movie, regardless of whether they were strangers or lovers, getting along or fighting. Tarantulas 10:20 pm *ok now it's hard to ignore a brief flashback, tarantulas shivers* Magnum Ace 10:20 pm -burying face in knees- Bull 10:20 pm *this is leading to all sorts of bad places for Bull* Omicron 10:20 pm BITE him! Smokescreen 10:21 pm Why would you want to relive traumatic events anyway? It's easier to just... Pretend they didn't happen. And avoid the stuff- and I swear if he's responsible for her getting hurt again I'm gonna be Omicron 10:21 pm Something human VProwl 10:21 pm *felt that. He moves his hand to lace with tarantulas's fingers.* Tarantulas 10:22 pm *he's got no idea what's going on in the movie aside from someone impersonating someone else's loved one and being forced to relive the prior one's death, and while he knows prowl would never do that to him, still...* Magnum Ace 10:23 pm -nopenopenope- Prowl 10:23 pm *leans her shoulder against Smokescreen's, is certain she knows how this is going to end, either on purpose or accident* VProwl 10:23 pm *rest easy, tara. he likes your fuzz too much for that.* Tarantulas 10:24 pm *fair, but Trust Issues™️ * VProwl 10:24 pm *Trust Issues* Smokescreen 10:24 pm /Tensing up, leaning against Prowl as well- he doesn't like where this is going at all./ Bull 10:25 pm *is still not looking* VProwl 10:25 pm *disgusted noise* Windchill 10:25 pm How unsurprising. Prowl 10:25 pm *joins in with a disgusted noise of her own* VProwl 10:25 pm ... How did she—? She was nowhere near— Of all the stupid— Smokescreen 10:25 pm ... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:26 pm [[Well. That was horrid.]] Windchill 10:26 pm *Well. It wasn't a dead baby movie but it was pretty bad.* Magnum Ace 10:26 pm .......... Smokescreen 10:26 pm sounds why are there humans like that Prowl 10:26 pm That's it? No retribution for the murder victim? Her husband walks away free? VProwl 10:26 pm ......... *laughs* Bull 10:26 pm .......... Tarantulas 10:26 pm *is startled by the laugh, squeezes prowl's hand* Windchill 10:26 pm I think that was worse than Titanic, even. Omicron 10:26 pm *snarls at the screen* I dare say that was a flop. Sorry Soundwave VProwl 10:26 pm *he's just. gonna take back one of his hands. and laugh into it.* Windchill 10:26 pm Good job, Soundwave. You've outdone yourself. Smokescreen 10:26 pm I know, right? There's no real resolution, and- Primus, that's a pretty depressing end. VProwl 10:26 pm sh-she just fell. Bull 10:27 pm *knows he's gonna have flashbacks and nightmares tonight* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:27 pm *...Is mildly alarmed by this laughter, but.*

[[He has, hasn't he. He'll try not to break that record again.]] Prowl 10:27 pm Fell from her own clumsiness. VProwl 10:27 pm *IT WAS THE MOST ABSURD ENDING* Tarantulas 10:27 pm What are you - what do you mean? Windchill 10:27 pm *Applauds politely.* VProwl 10:27 pm *okay. okay. he's collecting himself. he pats soundwave's shoulder.* Magnum Ace 10:27 pm -pats Bull's back- VProwl 10:27 pm It was an excellent movie with detestable characters. Omicron 10:28 pm *icy shakes her head, checks on Racer to see who's pedes he's sniffing* Prowl 10:28 pm .... Smokescreen 10:28 pm ....... Windchill 10:28 pm It was as if they couldn't quite commit to writing him pushing her off himself. Smokescreen 10:28 pm Soundwave ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm (( 😀 )) Smokescreen 10:28 pm did you really just Tarantulas 10:28 pm (( lmao VProwl 10:28 pm A solid, suspenseful plot. It didn't stop being suspensefffff-- *SOUNDWAVE.* Prowl 10:28 pm *was just startled by the music, not... Soundwave, really?* VProwl 10:28 pm *he's laughing again, give him a minute.* Magnum Ace 10:28 pm ........... -seriously!?- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:29 pm *Morbid humor, dear baseball player.* Omicron 10:29 pm *back to shaking her head* Windchill 10:29 pm *More polite applause.* Prowl 10:29 pm *huffs in amusement* Windchill 10:29 pm *He approves.* Bull 10:29 pm *has no humor about that movie* VProwl 10:29 pm *"falling for you" indeed* Magnum Ace 10:29 pm -huffs- Smokescreen 10:29 pm Sounds have I mentioned that you stink smellywave ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm *Sometimes it's the only way to handle something deeply unpleasant. Soundwave's really, really uncomfortable with the idea of being controlled like that.* Prowl 10:30 pm *is still mad the murderer got away with it* Magnum Ace 10:30 pm Bull, are you okay? VProwl 10:30 pm I was—TRYING to say. Didn't stop being suspenseful, even when the mystery was revealed. Good. Tarantulas 10:30 pm *startled again, withdrawing from prowl a bit. their internal states are a tad dissonant* Prowl 10:30 pm I thought you were the one that was supposed to stink? VProwl 10:30 pm But loathsome characters. Omicron 10:30 pm agreed Smokescreen 10:30 pm Hey, what? I don't stink! I haven't gotten dirty recently. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm *Tries not to laugh harder at Prowl's comment about stinking.*

[[Very loathsome.]] Bull 10:31 pm .... no... I'm not recharging tonight *he is gonna avoid the nightmares anyway he can* Prowl 10:31 pm *chuckles* Windchill 10:31 pm *Why are these lyrics misspelled #offended* Omicron 10:31 pm Smoke screen have you cleaned since last time we met? Smokescreen 10:31 pm Well, no- but it's not like I'm particularly dirty. And I've been, uh, busy. Magnum Ace 10:31 pm ...I might join you in that ItsyBitsySpyers 10:31 pm ((also i've never seen james stewart be anything except that A Wonderful Life guy so this is very. very much a shock, i think)) Magnum Ace 10:32 pm How made do you think Meckel would be if he found out, though? VProwl 10:32 pm *looks at Tarantulas.* Sorry. *he's not sure what he did but it apparently drove Tarantulas away, which is very hard to do.* Magnum Ace 10:32 pm *mad Omicron 10:32 pm You said you washed a long time ago before that. It builds up mech Smokescreen 10:32 pm ... I mean, it's not that long ago. And I just haven't been up to get clean, anyway. Also Knock Out used all my polish anyway And he likes bathing more than I do- so I gotta save that stuff for him. Bull 10:33 pm I'll take his wrath... better than the alternative *Bull unconsciously rubs one of his wrists* Prowl 10:33 pm I'd have noticed if he stank. Omicron 10:33 pm You can see use a washrack without polish...I don't think I even have any Prowl 10:34 pm *interacts with an Ironhide that thinks medical attention means you probably stop the bleeding maybe* Tarantulas 10:34 pm *confused@prowl* Wh-? Why are you apologizing? Smokescreen 10:34 pm But the other soaps are also- I can't use them while Knock Out's at my place. He'll get way too upset if he doesn't have any. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm ((AND since I promised elsewhere: someone was gonna show this movie like a year and a half ago, and I couldn't stand the idea of watching it then and here is why it took until now:)) VProwl 10:34 pm Because I did something that made you move away. Omicron 10:35 pm Does your world have more then one washing area? or even worker insecticons? Magnum Ace 10:35 pm ...not a very good movie for you, huh... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:35 pm ((I watch Gotham and in it, the Riddler accidentally kills someone before he's the Riddler. Much later, this other very creepy lady who looks just like the first one appears and refuses to let him go. In an effort to make him love her, she changes her appearance to that of the first lady. How does this second lady look when she first shows up, you might ask? Well.)) Tarantulas 10:35 pm *hadn't realized he'd moved away, actually; attempts to settle back in* Oh - no, no you've done no such thing, hush. Smokescreen 10:36 pm Well, of course there are- but I just- I haven't been up to get washed. It's not that big a deal, really. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm ((complete with the evening dress, a necklace, blond hair, and the FUCKING SWIRLIES IN THE BACK)) Prowl 10:36 pm ((IsabellAH Bull 10:36 pm no.... Magnum Ace 10:36 pm ((hooooly shitcakes)) Windchill 10:36 pm (( HUH. )) Omicron 10:36 pm ... ....! *tilts head and listens to the music* VProwl 10:37 pm ((omg)) Omicron 10:37 pm *humms along* Prowl 10:37 pm ((fucking gotham still hasn't explained it and i'm so mad ItsyBitsySpyers 10:37 pm ((so everyone knew it was gonna be some kinda Vertigo play the moment she showed up, and that's how come i knew impersonation had Something to do with this movie but nothing else.)) VProwl 10:37 pm ((somebody in the gotham costume department is a hitchcock fan)) Magnum Ace 10:37 pm It's okay...we can talk later, okay? -scoots closer to pat Bull's back again- VProwl 10:38 pm I obviously did something, you don't need to pretend I didn't. Bull 10:38 pm *He wasn't sure he'd want to talk about it at all but nodded anyways* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:38 pm ((oh yeah, and like... i forgot to mark the time. i'll give 15 more minutes)) Omicron 10:39 pm *Icy worldless soft singing along to the tune, it sounds like something that's been played for her hatchlings* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:40 pm *Also: He saw that wrist rub. It is suspicious.* Magnum Ace 10:40 pm -Nods. Good. He hoped. Still, time to get going now.- You good to go home now? Tarantulas 10:40 pm It's not - *tiny sigh* You're fine, Prowl, it must've been your laughter, I'd wager. The movie - it was a tad disorienting. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:40 pm *Did someone lock them up? He's going to have to point that out to Prowl later.* Windchill 10:40 pm Well. *He shakes himself as if the grossness would dislodge itself.* I'm going to go home and invent something to complain about. VProwl 10:41 pm ... Oh. ... Sorry. It was—the end—took me by surprise. Omicron 10:41 pm Racer: *sitting beside Soundwave still...might be laying down really* VProwl 10:42 pm No, not—not surprise—just... the... non-sequitur-ness of how it was done. Magnum Ace 10:42 pm -stands up, and offers Bull a hand up as well- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:42 pm *Soundwave will idly stick a hand down to offer a quick pat to Racer before the youngling has to go.*

[[Goodnight, Windchill. Maybe your mate will have painted everything red.]] Tarantulas 10:42 pm I do think that was the point, wasn't it? *wry visor quirk, seems more at ease* VProwl 10:42 pm ... Was it? Windchill 10:43 pm Maybe... *he taps his chin.* Maybe I'll suggest it so I can complain about it. Bull 10:43 pm *After a moment Bull takes the offered hand to stand* Tarantulas 10:43 pm I hadn't seen the whole movie, but I do get the impression it was a sort of ironic twist. Omicron 10:43 pm Racer: *lifts his head into the pat, tryng to turn in into a pet, he had to say hi* Magnum Ace 10:44 pm -up to your feet, Bull. Time to get home to NOT sleep apparently- VProwl 10:44 pm Yes, but that doesn't mean the way it was done wasn't... absurd. Magnum Ace 10:44 pm -and he's helping him up- Windchill 10:44 pm *He won't, actually, he's caused enough strife without anything being painted red.* Prowl 10:45 pm *stands up with a flick of her doors* Goodnight, Smokescreen. Soundwave. *a nod to the rest of the room* Smokescreen 10:45 pm Aww- goodnight, Prowl It was nice seeing you again! Talk to you later? VProwl 10:45 pm Of course, somebody was going to fall. But after a movie where every element was precisely triggered by something that happened ten steps earlier, for it to happen by random dumb happenstance is—incongruous. Bull 10:45 pm Let's go... ItsyBitsySpyers 10:45 pm [[Goodnight, Prowl. He'll see about arranging for you to meet Chimera.]] Omicron 10:45 pm *Icy waves her free wing before getting up and streaching some* Magnum Ace 10:45 pm Yeah. Soundwave? Can we have a way home now? Windchill 10:46 pm *Creepy creeps away.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:46 pm [[Of course you may. Try to take care of yourselves.]] Prowl 10:46 pm I'm sure, Smokescreen, and thank you, Soundwave. I'd like that. Magnum Ace 10:46 pm Thank you. -and off he goes, tugging Bull behind him- Tarantulas 10:47 pm Ah - I see. *distracted by watching ppl leave and by settling down against prowl again, should he permit* Smokescreen 10:47 pm Oh yeah! Sounds- did you get the chance to share those educational documents? Are you guys close to setting anything up over there? Prowl 10:48 pm *and she's out the door* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:48 pm [[...It completely slipped his mind in all the ch-- in recent events. He will look into that soon.]] VProwl 10:49 pm *prowl will permit, but he doesn't reciprocate just yet. he still feels like he messed up.* Smokescreen 10:50 pm You know? That's fair- it's been pretty hectic. I haven't had the chance to do too much, either. Though I'm kinda wondering if there's any other public services like that that should be around, that'd make life nicer for everyone. Omicron 10:50 pm *rumbles and says something in predacon*

Racer: ...! *inches over to sniff at Prowls pede, not touching* pbbt...? biu? VProwl 10:51 pm *leans forward slightly and looks down.* Pbbt. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:52 pm [[Places for the public to make their own art and leave it on display until someone else covers it with their own. Buzzsaw would be furious if he didn't suggest that.]] Omicron 10:52 pm Racer: ! Pbbtowl! Tarantulas 10:52 pm *is rapt watching this exchange* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:52 pm ((two minute warning)) Smokescreen 10:52 pm OH that would be so cool- you know, I wanna see about getting that in. VProwl 10:52 pm Hello, Racer. ((a very loose definition of classical music, here)) Smokescreen 10:53 pm And maybe a proper theater of some kind? It'd be great for events that the outdoor theater in the gardens wouldn't fit as well. Omicron 10:53 pm Racer: *gives the pede a quite lick and bounces away in case of kick, then meeps at Soundwave as he starts to scuttle back to Icy* Smokescreen 10:53 pm Like performing or talks with larger audiences. VProwl 10:54 pm *huff. he can have that lick. prowl saw it coming so he's not going to kick for it.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:55 pm [[Indeed. He is in full support of theaters. But now it is time to close the building.]] *Soundwave beeps at Racer as he scuttles.* Smokescreen 10:56 pm Of course- thanks, Sounds. I'm gonna see what all we'll need to make those things happen. Have a good night. /Smokescreen's getting up and is starting to head home./ Omicron 10:56 pm *eerily quiet as she shifted up right then drops into a mock battle stance as Racer comes bounding over and floofs up at her, meeps as he's scooped up. She chirps a goodbye around her hatchling, might let the other one out next time if racer stays home* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:57 pm [[You're welcome. Goodnight.]]

[[And goodnight to you too, Ice Queen, Racer... unidentified young one. He looks forward to meeting you another time.]] Omicron 10:57 pm ((thank you for the stream,!)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:57 pm ((np!)) Omicron 10:57 pm *soundwave gets a mew from under a wing as the predacons leave* Tarantulas 10:59 pm *referring to the Pbbt-owl* When did /that/ happen? Have I been absent from movie nights for that long? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm *And now he'll look over at Tarantulas and bob his helm. He didn't get to see much of the mech past Prowl's chest and the events on screen.*

[[Several weeks. It's...]] Choose your words carefully, Soundwave. [[Quite charming.]] VProwl 10:59 pm Maybe you haven't been coming to the right ones. Tarantulas 11:00 pm Obviously not, hyeh. VProwl 11:02 pm He's a Predacon newbuild. He's been learning to make sounds. Recently he's been moving up to whole words. *with just the barest hint of glee:* He can say my name. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:03 pm [[He said half of his the other night. Yours is far more complete.]] *Confirming nod* VProwl 11:04 pm Mine's shorter. Tarantulas 11:04 pm That's absolutely precious. That is - I've seen Racer around, but - the linguistic development. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:04 pm [[And requires a difficult sound at the front. It is impressive.]] Tarantulas 11:05 pm He must have taken a liking to you, hm? VProwl 11:05 pm *with slightly more than just the barest hint of glee:* Apparently. Tarantulas 11:07 pm *leans in to briefly nuzzle his forehelm against, visor-smile, it's just too adorable* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:09 pm [[You've no idea. Prowl seems to be quite good with younglings. He's held conversations, pbbt-ed repeatedly, let the little one climb on him and attack his foot...]]

*Casually ticking things off on his fingers.* [[Much more patience and kindness than most show them, to be sure.]] Tarantulas 11:10 pm *sw you're making tara's spark hurt with the cute* VProwl 11:10 pm *where did this nuzzle come from?* ... Ah. Well, I'm getting along with /a/ youngling, we can say that much. Tarantulas 11:13 pm I suppose that simply means we ought to have more of them around to increase the trial sample size, mm? *has like 2% regret saying that but it can't be retracted* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm [[That is a tall order. He doesn't exactly have any lying around, himself.]] [[That one will have to do for now, unless someone else brings one.]] VProwl 11:15 pm I don't see any need to further experiment. But yyyes, that /would/ be the way to increase the sample size. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:16 pm *Hears the extended y in that yyyes and wonders if he missed something here.* VProwl 11:16 pm *it's a "that's how it would be done if it were to be done but why is it something you want to be done" yyyes* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:17 pm *Because he's damned curious by nature, and Prowl's the one who insisted it was /a/ youngling. Soundwave kind of wants to find like three more and see.* Tarantulas 11:18 pm *tara's curious too, but he's got his own personal reasons tied into it as well, shh* VProwl 11:18 pm ... There's one youngling who sends me bad jokes. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:18 pm [[Swoop?]] Tarantulas 11:18 pm What sort of "bad"? VProwl 11:19 pm No. Time... something. Timeframe? Timewarp? Something. "Bad" like "negative four degrees looks like a human defecating." ItsyBitsySpyers 11:20 pm [[Timeline.]] VProwl 11:20 pm Yes. Tarantulas 11:20 pm ......... ItsyBitsySpyers 11:20 pm [[...What does a cold temperature have to do with organic digestive functions?]] VProwl 11:22 pm I went around with her for a couple of minutes trying to figure it out. Apparently you're supposed to treat the numbers like a pictogram. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:22 pm [[That's ridiculous. The four doesn't even have a head.]] VProwl 11:22 pm That's what the degree sign is for. The negative sign is the defecated matter. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:23 pm [[He prefers Swoop's jokes.]] Tarantulas 11:23 pm *vague facepalming* VProwl 11:23 pm Oh, and the pictogram only works if the four is in a font that makes the top half look like a triangle instead of parallel lines. I told you they were bad. Tarantulas 11:25 pm ...I take it Timeline's at a slightly more advanced stage of development relative to Racer, yet far from full maturity. VProwl 11:25 pm She can talk. I don't know what her "full maturity" is supposed to look like. She has, for example, already surpassed Smokescreen. Tarantulas 11:26 pm *snorts and feels a little bad* VProwl 11:26 pm *Dead Serious* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:27 pm *Looks thoughtful for a second, glancing up to the ceiling. Then:*

[[He'll buy that.]] [[But there are a great many mechs who can talk and have nothing sensible to say with the ability. Smokescreen's not alone in that respect.]] [[Would that /they/ were the ones condemned to silence and /he/ could enjoy being able to talk.]] Tarantulas 11:29 pm *confused squint* What do you mean by that? VProwl 11:29 pm *soundwave you know you can talk, right* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:30 pm *...Pauses and looks back at both of them.*

[[In a 'will they /please/ be quiet, my helm hurts' sense and not a tyrannical denial of the population's right to say anything, mind you.]] VProwl 11:30 pm Understood. And sympathized with. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:30 pm *And yes, he knows. Someone else here doesn't.* [[...Though if they have something crude or cruel to say about minicons, he would just as soon not hear it.]] *You know what, he's going to be quiet. This hole is getting bigger.* Tarantulas 11:31 pm Sure, but - condemned to silence? Is there something I'm missing, here? *he's going to pry, he's never known or asked about sw's silence, but apparently now's the time* VProwl 11:32 pm *Prowl's not answering that. Go ahead, Soundwave.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:33 pm [[If he could speak, and avoid subjecting himself to the brains of mechs like Smokescreen, don't you think he would.]] VProwl 11:34 pm *... does it count as lying to tarantulas if prowl doesn't contradict this blatant lie.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:34 pm *That is a lie of omission, and he doesn't count those, himself.* VProwl 11:34 pm *...... well as long as Tarantulas doesn't ask Prowl.* Tarantulas 11:37 pm *calculating pause* .../Can/ you not speak? I suppose I never thought you could or couldn't, one way or the other. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:42 pm [[You've heard him 'talk' through recordings played over his speakers,]] *Motions to them* [[But replaying files is all they are good for. They are not connected to a vocalizer.]] VProwl 11:42 pm *... translation: his vocalizer is not connected to his speakers.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:43 pm *Not to the ones he gestured to, anyway.* Tarantulas 11:47 pm *slight squint, can't help but ask* ...Do you /have/ a vocalizer? And if yes, is it a voluntary choice to have it disconnected? VProwl 11:48 pm *Ah, and Tarantulas caught the dodge. very clever, Tarantulas.* *he feels like he's watching a hax match.* *Tarantulas is, as usual, playing very aggressively tonight. Can Soundwave continue to evade.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:51 pm [[He has one. It is erratic enough to be considered nonfunctional and irreparable, and that was not a voluntary choice.]]

*Soundwave has told a hundred lies to thousands of people about his voice. He'll dance this dance all night.* VProwl 11:52 pm *well SOME people are OVERLY JUDGMENTAL if they think his vocalizer is nonfunctional and irreparable.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:52 pm *Of course. And seeing as it's not fully disconnected, no choices were involved in its severing, voluntary or otherwise.* Tarantulas 11:52 pm But you've chosen not to replace it? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:53 pm [[It is his, and he has other forms of communication.]] VProwl 11:53 pm *he can say "greetings" and "one," what else does he need to say.* Tarantulas 11:54 pm True, of course - and far be it for me to dictate how one ought communicate oneself. I'm simply trying to understand what the situation is. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:55 pm *Nods.* Tarantulas 11:55 pm *is itching with a few other questions, but sits on them for now* You could simply tell me what happened, but I'm aware that's not your style. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:56 pm < -- soundwave rn )) Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers 11:58 pm [[No, it's not. There are some details about himself and his history he prefers to keep /to/ himself - and in the past, where they belong.]] Tarantulas 12:00 am *tiny snicker* I'd believe that if you hadn't just brought the topic up yourself, tangentially. VProwl 12:00 am ((if he ever wants to tapdance like that...)) ItsyBitsySpyers 12:00 am [[There is a difference between a widely known fact and the reason it /is/ fact.]] [[It's considered rude to ask Bumblebee what happened to his, and everyone actually knows that story.]] Tarantulas 12:01 am To be fair, /I/ don't, hyeh. VProwl 12:02 am And you'd ask him, too. Tarantulas 12:05 am Pft, you're not wrong - but it doesn't necessarily make it /rude/ per se. VProwl 12:05 am Soundwave just said it's considered rude. Rudeness is decided by social consensus, not by the actor. So it does necessarily make it rude. Tarantulas 12:07 am Hmmm, I'd think rudeness is determined by the person the so-called rudeness is directed toward - so, do you think I've been rude to you, Soundwave? VProwl 12:07 am ... Fair. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:16 am [[You've been invasive, and without asking if it is something you are welcome to investigate. He considers it rude, yes.]]

[[Being trapped in that Noisemaze for so long had to have had lasting effects of some kind, but you'll notice he isn't asking if your shyness around crowds has something to do with that.]] Tarantulas 12:18 am *squint* You're free to confirm with Prowl on that one - my relatively antisocial nature has been around longer than the Noisemaze has, to be sure. But - hyeh, I find that less invasive to talk about than you seem to find your vocal situation to be, so. VProwl 12:19 am ... I can't tell if this is cordial pecking at each other or bordering-on-hostile pecking, so I'm going to say now that if you two get into an argument I'm not refereeing. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:20 am [[Cordial with a mild hostility garnish. He dislikes it when a point or the area around it continues to be nudged at after he has made it clear he is unwilling to speak of it.]] *But hey, free factoid about Tarantulas.* Tarantulas 12:22 am I only nudged out of innocent curiosity, I promise. *the sincerity of that statement is yours to judge* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:23 am *He doesn't trust a single glyph, but he'll pretend he does.*

[[Naturally. Now, if we're done with that...? It grows late.]] VProwl 12:24 am *oh-so-slowly, oh-so-casually slides onto Soundwave's lap.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:31 am *Will oh-so-slowly-and-casually wrap a feeler around Prowl after Tarantulas is safely home and tug him backward down onto the couch. Tonight is a share a close space night, he thinks? It's been a while, and things having been what they were, well. It'll be good to remind each of them the other hasn't gone and isn't going anywhere?* VProwl 12:32 am *god yes, please. he desperately needs that reassurance right now. he's been a lot more shaken than he's letting himself show.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:34 am *Then he'll get it, and lots of it.*

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: SEASON THREE (29th December 2019)

There are ten songs in this top 40 that are not Christmas songs. There are 30 holiday singles in one chart, for the first time ever. That is one quarter of the chart left that isn’t festive in some capacity. I know I said last week was the Christmas episode, Christmas chart, Christmas special, or whatever, but the post-Christmas week, the first week of the next year, in this case 2020 (The end-of-year chart will soon be released in full), will always include Christmas tracking and hence have more songs. Therefore, you could argue that last week’s #1 isn’t the true Christmas #1. I’d disagree because out of the two #1s, it is the only one that made an evident campaign for the spot, although the campaign for the second #1 is only not evident out of sheer falsity, so it really is an open question. Despite that, I’ll say that for the sake of REVIEWING THE CHARTS, “I Love Sausage Rolls” by LadBaby is the Christmas #1 for 2019. In an awful twist of fate, however, that song is now at #57. Not even LadBaby’s last #1 dropped that far on its second week. I apologise for the third season’s first episode being complete shambles, but the events kind of called for a switch of the format. We have one non-Christmas song in the top 10. It would be unwise to talk about the rest of the top 10 as it’s overwhelmingly more relevant to the Christmas section, hence I present to you 2019’s final edition of:

IT’S CHRISTMAS INNIT

Top 10 (9?)

The #1 is Ellie Goulding’s “River”, up 10 spaces, with its only festive justification other than its vague Wintry content being the fact that it’s #1 on Christmas. It’s her third #1 and first since 2015, and the last #1 of the decade – or the first #1 of the 2020s decade. You decide. Goulding’s Joni Mitchell cover was an Amazon exclusive existing purely to push UK sales for a cheap #1, as Goulding’s increasingly irrelevant music would not get to #1 that easily, especially a fluke Christmas single that I have never heard, and don’t care to. I wouldn’t like to believe this is the true #1 but unfortunately it is, narrowly beating Mariah Carey, who has been steadily at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 for three weeks now, as her more deserving classic, “All I Want for Christmas is You”, is at #2 after a six-spot boost. Why isn’t it #1 in the UK, you ask? Greedy record labels vying for worthless chart spots that mean frankly nothing other than to boost the visibility of irrelevant acts that they want to cling onto for dear life so they can get a check, that’s why. Sorry, I’m way too passionate about this, I’ll just move on. Um, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! is up two to #5, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is up 10 to #4, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens is also up 10 to #6, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid is up 10 to #7, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John is up 10 to #8. Now for our second bloody Amazon exclusive, arguably the more egregious, “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” by John Legend, up 23 to #9. Seemingly this song was made for not only false chart points but also because of the novelty of John Legend covering a song by John Lennon. Well, I can’t find a reason to cover this song other than that, as making it an Amazon exclusive goes directly against Lennon’s thoughts on commercialism, and surely making a protest song about the Vietnam war meant to raise awareness about the destruction war causes to innocent civilians a cheap cash-grab would kind of soil the reputation of Mr. John Legend over here... and I don’t even like “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”. It’s a pretentious slog on its own and it certainly did not need a rendition from one of the duller R&B singers to come out of the 2000s. Curiously both Goulding and Legend have ties to Universal Music Group. Sigh, well at #10, we have “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard, up 19 spaces. That’s a better song.

Climbers

Let’s blast through this with no room for anger or dilly-dallying: “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé is up 13 to #11, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande is up 15 to #13, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis is up 10 to #15, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia is up 19 to #17, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is up 14 to #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade is up 12 to #19, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson is up 12 to #21, and that’s all. That doesn’t sound like 30 Christmas songs at all, right? That’s just 16. Well...

Returning Entries & New Arrivals

These kind of blend together at Christmas; I’m never sure if the song already peaked years or decades ago, and I’m just none the wiser towards any of it, or it’s never gotten this high into the top 40 before. I had to check the Christmas specials for 2018-2019 to see what songs I’ve covered before. I actually found out I’ve already covered “Underneath the Tree”, so I didn’t actually need to talk about that one a week or two ago, but my opinion had changed so I think it’s time well spent. If I accidentally cover a song twice, I honestly don’t care, but here are the returning entries I’ve already talked about: “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney is back at #37, “Stay Another Day” by East 17 is at #35, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love is at #33, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby is at #31, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Boys Choir or something to that effect is at #28, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber is at #27, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams is at #25, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea is at #24 and “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry is at #22. I know I technically didn’t “review” that last song per se since it wasn’t on streaming services at the time but it’s utter plastic garbage so there’s no benefit in doing so. Here are the songs I do have to review.

#39 – “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” – Dean Martin

Produced by Lee Gillette – Peaked at #12 in Canada and #15 in the US

This really could have just been called “Let it Snow”, right? Regardless, this is actually one of my favourite more traditional Christmas songs, although this is still pretty recent, being a 1959 rendition of a song written by Sammy Cahn in 1945, simply because it was a heat wave in July that year so he teamed up with composer Jule Styne in Hollywood to make a song imagining, in fact almost begging, for colder weather. Despite how controversial Martin’s cover of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has become, he really still is a talented singer who couldn’t get that song’s framing just right. Here, he seems more in his element and despite no reference to the holiday season, since it’s snow, people just kind of lump it in with more festive hits, especially on radio. I think I generally prefer this sweet, orchestral tint Martin’s producer gave to the composition, and the strings here sound really great, despite that vague drum beat not needing to be there, as it’s honestly quite stiff. I would have preferred this without much percussion at all actually. It’s less than two minutes, so it doesn’t overstay its welcome, which is one issue I have with Frank Sinatra’s decidedly un-Christmassy version, which just sounds really ugly to me today, with its squealing brass section and twee backing singers. The bridge is especially awkward. So, yeah, I prefer Martin’s version here, although I’d like to shout out Rod Stewart’s version as well while I’m on the topic. It was actually a pretty big adult contemporary hit in 2012. Go figure. It’s actually pretty sweet albeit simplistic and I don’t even like Rod Stewart, so check that one out too.

#34 – “Sleigh Ride” – The Ronettes

Produced by Phil Spector – Peaked at #17 in Hungary and #21 in the US

I swear I’ve covered this one before, but I couldn’t find it, so uh, I like the horse neighing. “Sleigh Ride” was also composed by Leroy Anderson during a heat wave in 1948, which is an interesting coincidence. The Ronettes sound okay, but the focus was never their voice. It was Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound production, as this appeared on his Christmas album. His production is maximalist and has a massive, vibrant, colourful sound to it... supposedly. I see it in some of his other work, but this song just sounds garbage. Everything feels concentrated to the centre of the mix and it renders as sludge to me, especially when the freaking strings come in. Does this have to be three minutes also? It’s just immensely boring and goes in one ear, out the other, unlike those second-degree murder convictions... you sick, sick man. Merry Christmas, everyone!

#32 – “Holly Jolly Christmas” – Michael Bublé

Nah, screw the production and chart info. I don’t care. It’s Michael Bublé, what do you expect me to say? It’s bland radio fluff white man capitalism whatever. Here are the lyrics to “Re-Rewind (The Crowd Say Bo Selecta)” by Artful Dodger and Craig David.

[Intro: Craig David]

Re-rewind

Enter, selecta

Ehh, yeah

Ehh, eh yeah

Ehh, yeah

Ehh

Enter, selecta

[Verse: Craig David]

Making moves, yeah, on the dance floor

Got our groove on dancing yeah, real hard core

From the front to the back that's where I was at

You know, you know, the Artful Dodger do it like that

With Craig David all over your (boing)

DJ it's all up to you

When the crowd go wild

Tell me, whatcha gonna do

[Chorus: Craig David]

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Bo Bo

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind

This goes out to all the DJ's

[Interlude]

Ehh, yeah

Ehh, eh yeah

Ehh, yeah

Ehh

Ehh, yeah

[Verse: Craig David]

Making moves, yeah, on the dance floor

Got our groove on dancing yeah, real hard core

From the front to the back that's where I was at

You know, you know, the Artful Dodger do it like that

With Craig David all over your (boing)

DJ it's all up to you

When the crowd go wild

Tell me, whatcha gonna do

[Chorus: Craig David]

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Bo Bo

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind

This goes out to all the DJ's

[Verse: Craig David]

Making moves, yeah, on the dance floor

Got our groove on dancing yeah, real hard core

From the front to the back that's where I was at

You know, you know, the Artful Dodger do it like that

With Craig David all over your (boing)

DJ it's all up to you

When the crowd go wild

Tell me, whatcha gonna do

Making moves, yeah, on the dance floor

Got our groove on dancing yeah, real hard core

From the front to the back that's where I was at

You know, you know, the Artful Dodger do it like that

With Craig David all over your (boing)

DJ it's all up to you

When the crowd go wild

Tell me, whatcha gonna do

[Chorus: Craig David]

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind (Ehh, eh yeah), Sel-lecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind (Ehh, eh yeah), Sel-lecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind (Ehh, eh yeah), Sel-lecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

#30 –“Jingle Bell Rock” – Bobby Helms

Produced by Joe Beal and Jim Boothe – Peaked at #3 in the US and Latvia

I don’t know what to tell you guys, I really have next to nothing to say for these Christmas classics. They’re simple, catchy compositions with dated and/or cliché production but make up for it by just being infectious and jolly. This applies to nearly all of these Christmas songs. The whole genre is based on these fundamentals and it’s not like they often take a detour – well, that’s coming up. I’m just so excited to talk about the last song here, so I really have no patience for this or “Sleigh Ride” or “Holly Jolly Christmas”. I have no idea how the hell this peaked at #3 in Latvia. I guess that’s something vaguely interesting about this song. I mean, it’s tolerable but I feel no pressure to write an essay about it or anything.

#29 – “Christmas Lights” – Coldplay

Produced by Coldplay, Rik Simpson and Brian Eno – Peaked at #2 in Italy and the Netherlands, and #25 in the US

In December 2008, Chris Martin wrote “Christmas Lights”, and even performed a segment of the draft on live television. Little did he know, that in my opinion, he wrote the best Christmas song of all time! So what’s “Christmas Lights” about? Well, it paints a very vivid picture of an aggravated relationship that brutally shattered on Christmas Eve, mentioned to be one of many but the date making it especially saddening. You could see it as a family breaking up and having an argument on Christmas, which is an especially common happening; 68% of families have a row over the Christmas break. You could also see it as a simple break-up song that just happens to take place over late December, but really it can be construed as both; Chris Martin plays it vague enough to apply to different situations but doesn’t allow for any wishy-washy lyricism, with some poetic specifics that really resonate. The first verse has almost a semantic field of liquid, all of which are somewhat acidic and all of which are overwhelmingly dangerous: “flood”, “poison”, “blood”. The line “Got all kinds of poison in—poison in my blood” reveals the reliance on alcohol as well as the sheer vitriol our narrator has built up for this person during this break-up, although much like alcohol and much like poison, once you take it, it’s quick and you won’t feel anything the next morning, if you feel anything at all, but the long-term consequences will be dire. This is a lovely metaphor that is illustrated throughout the song, and our narrator’s drunken stupor is even represented in the stammering and messy, incorrect structure of his sentences. The second half of the first verse details our narrator’s solution: he can confound into the Christmas lights, which are artificial, neon decorations lacking any meaning but in his dazed and confused state, he will have to rely on the exceptional displays of Oxford Street, which is directly name-dropped in the song, to guide him to some kind of home, literally or figuratively. One narrative would be that he simply cannot see his way home, but the other would be that he finds warmth in the lights that register memories of nostalgia, so much so that he’s able to reminisce on perhaps better Christmas Eves of his youth. The refrain in the first half of the song isn’t exactly referring to global warming when Martin talks about the snow falling; rather, he could be referring to waiting for the lights to come on and the dust to settle, or for the tensions to rise or even fall. It doesn’t feel like Christmas without family, and those violent arguments are the snow. He’s waiting for them to either stop or just come to a climax as the pain leading up to it is unbearable.

In the second verse, our narrator mentions candles flickering and floating; it’s iconic Christian imagery that symbolises Jesus Christ finding light in darkness. It links our narrator’s story to religion but also stars and destiny, implying fate has led him to this dark path. He seems to disregard the candles, though, instead focusing on the chandelier of hope that he hangs onto, once again abandoning tradition for the artificial, commercialised “Christmas light”, which is fascinating but something I’ve never truly been able to piece together with the rest of the narrative here. Our narrator undermines his panicked cries for help as “like” a drunken Elvis impersonator singing out of tune about how he always loved a “darling”, but this story rings true – karaoke is a staple at Christmas, and he might have very well been an Elvis impersonator singing out of tune one Christmas evening, but he now finds himself yelling in a drunken state whilst desperately attempting to calm himself down by remembering a more fun, simple time. After one refrain, we have our song, and I figure I should talk about the actual music now. The instrumentation starts simple, with a piano melody that sounds sombre and flat, especially when Martin’s dejected delivery, full of despair and hopelessness, drowns out all remnants of the composition as he has a stronghold on the mix. The strings are still somewhat decipherable, amongst awkward, ticking percussion, but they’re barely audible at this point, so the nostalgia is gone... until that refrain, where the atmosphere rises with the strings picking up in intensity and we have our first drop, which still feels slightly restrained, until that second verse comes in, and the drums kick in to represent the stupor our narrator is in, as they’re almost hypnotising in their unchanging pattern. Martin sounds chaotic as well, with his uncontrolled falsetto singing what might quite literally be out of tune. In the second refrain, ugly, plastic guitar loops play and I would usually criticise this but if anything this shows the two sides of the “Christmas light” concept better than I can word it: sure, it’s perfect and convenient for mass audiences, but does it really mean anything? It’s also pushed back into the mix and sounds kind of like “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, so I’m okay with it being there, especially since it assists the narrative. So we have our second drop and that’s the end; they swell gorgeously in a way I can only describe as perfect... perfect for a transition, as we are now entering the second half of “Christmas Lights”.

The “beat switch”, for lack of a better term, is mostly just an upbeat piano since the strings’ echo is slowly fading out, and it sounds like it’ll finish right there, but the moment when it doesn’t is pure catharsis. The second half of the song is much more anthemic in tone but the lyrics are even more desperate, reaching back to personal memories of the band, even mentioning where they formed: a mile away from Oxford Street, where the sea (River Thames) and city meet. This doesn’t take away from our narrative though, as the chorus is almost a prayer for these Christmas lights to strip him of all his worries, but it’s obvious from the start that his hope is dwindling, especially in the drunken panic state he’s still in. At this point, you can almost render our narrator delusional, especially due to the imagery being so mundane in modern British society. Everyone has Christmas lights, but his attachment is never fully explained, leaving an aura of mystery around our narrator, separating him from Chris Martin, and letting him become this figure that is relatable to most of the country over the Christmas break, which is supposed to be a time for joy, delight and most importantly, togetherness. That extra degree of separation isolates our narrator further, and in the second chorus, he says the oddest and least likely thing to happen: the Christmas lights bring her back to him. Who’s her? Well, we don’t know, but what we do know is that our narrator seems silly now, so we can’t take him seriously. The audience doesn’t exactly turn on the narrator, but we can take everything this drunken shell of a practically homeless man says with a pinch of salt now. He’s insane, or at least in a state that drains him of his mental capacity, and we’re forced to watch this man celebrate Christmas. It’s depressing, and he knows it’s depressing. In the final chorus, he takes a stance that is rather selfless, despite everything else we’ve come to believe about our narrator: he wishes “her” the same good will he wished the Christmas lights would bring him, and that his emotions are livened by the lights, in a great metaphor about bringing up the fireworks in him, almost as if he’s fit to burst... and he might have; “May all your troubles soon be gone” could represent the narrator, referred to here as her troubles, and our troubles at this point, being gone – dead, missing or just out of her life, whilst the lights just keep shining on, oblivious to this man’s delirious reliance on them for a guiding light. The composition here is just as sweet, with more actual rock instrumentation here that gives it a kick and a sense of stability, although the transitions between choruses are basically nonexistent, almost as if they’re another step towards his fate. The instrumental break is a short moment of realisation, and the chorus of “oh”’s, whilst acting as what is basically a millennial whoop, are the voices in his head coming to an agreement: to stop. The song ends abruptly after Chris Martin stops singing, with a dejected piano phrase stopping midway through and a loud, reverb-heavy thud. This is up to interpretation but I truly think that thud is the death of our narrator, falling to the floor, never to come back up.

This is a brilliantly-written song, and combined with the orchestration courtesy of freaking Brian Eno... This is Coldplay’s magnum opus, and an overall beautiful piece of music. It’s one of my favourite songs of all time, I’m so glad it charted, and Yellowcard’s cover misses the point entirely. Thank you for reading.

The Christmas Songs That Didn’t Make It

I am terrified by the creeping overflow of Christmas songs every year, and that I have to cover each and every one to some capacity, but since last year, there’s obviously been less to cover since I’ve talked about a lot of it already, and after 30 holiday songs, you’d think there’s no other songs that could possibly creep into the Top 40 and become part of the canon, right?

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“Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)” by the Darkness is at #42, “The Christmas Song (A Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole is at #51, “Somewhere Only We Know” by Lily Allen is at #52, “Like it’s Christmas” by the Jonas Brothers is at #53, “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano is at #54, “Santa Baby” by Eartha Kitt is at #55, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie is at #56, “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders is at #61, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Perry Como and the Fontaine Sisters with Mitchell Ayres and His Orchestra is at #63 (Thank God I don’t have to review that mouthful), “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra is at #65, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith is at #67, “Blue Christmas” by Elvis Presley is at #68, “Man with the Bag” by Jessie J is at #70 (I’m assuming that’s a song about Santa), “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses is at #71, “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” by Bruce Springsteen is at #72, “All I Want (for Christmas)” by Liam Payne is at #73, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue is at #74 and that’s just all the songs in the top 75. There’s probably a bunch more in the other 25 spots. I’ll see these guys next year, I guess, although there is some hope as a couple more Christmas songs I covered last year (Or even just last month) couldn’t make it in 2020. These are “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #46, “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” by Boney M. at #47, the aforementioned “I Love Sausage Rolls” by LadBaby at #57, “Into the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA at #62 and “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud is at #69. Yes, I’m counting the Frozen II song as a Christmas single because firstly, if that song isn’t, what’s “Stay Another Day”? And secondly, if we’re going to strictly limit our musical festivities, the only true Christmas song here is by Boney M... because it’s a literal re-telling of Jesus’ birth, even though he wasn’t actually born on Christmas apparently, or at least there’s no direct reference to such event happening on December 25th in the Bible. I don’t think I’m going to dig myself a hole with that one. I don’t know if there will be a chart rule stopping 30 Christmas songs from entering next year, and I’m not sure if I actually want that to happen, but it’ll be interesting to see how the Official Charts Company reacts to this, if at all.

Dropouts

Oh, it was a bloodbath. I’m not going to go in numerical order but I will start by saying that the album bombs from last week fared pretty okay, Harry Styles less so than Stormzy of course, but regardless, “Lessons” by Stormzy is out off of the debut at #9, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles is out from #18 and “Falling” by Harry Styles is out off of the debut at #39. The rest of the songs from both albums mostly survived, in fact “Lights Up” returned to #48. Otherwise, “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi is out from #15, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd is out from #20, “hot girl summer” by blackbear is out from #21, “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez is out from #22, “Falling” by Trevor Daniel is out from #26, “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD is out off of the return from #27, “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson is out from #30, “Heartless” by the Weeknd is out from #35, “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One is out from #37, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is out from #38, and “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo is out from #40. I might as well note whilst in this section that there are now at least two versions of each of these four songs within the UK top 75 right now: “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” and “Santa Baby”, which is also sampled in “Santa Tell Me”. That factoid was pretty useless, but kind of interesting. I guess I get it now when rockists say they think all pop music sounds the same, because there are nine in the chart that literally are the same.

What Survived

What little of the UK Top 40 chart prior has remained is not exactly hard to guess. All of the biggest and most consistent songs streaming-wise have stayed, barely. “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi is down nine spots to #12, “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa is down 10 to #14, “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas is down nine to #16, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is down 10 to #20, “everything i wanted” by Billie Eilish also down 10 to #23 (I’m starting to notice a trend here), “Adore You” by Harry Styles is down 14 to #26, “Pump it Up” by Endor is down 13 to #36, and that’s all of the pop songs out of the way, because Stormzy has three songs on the chart still even in the true climax of Christmas music, which is kind of commendable. “Own It” featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy is down three to number-five, making it the only non-holiday song in the top 10, “Audacity” featuring Headie One is down 22 off of the debut to #38 and finally “Vossi Bop” is returning at #40, for whatever reason. I’m not sure why or how but it’s here and it fills our quota for non-holiday songs. And now, I have mentioned all but two songs that are currently charting in the top 75, and for the sake of completion, “Memories” by Maroon 5 is at #60 and “My Oh My” by Camila Cabello featuring DaBaby is at #49. If you’re wondering how many total Christmas songs there are in the top 75, there are about 52. That’s 70%. I know that doesn’t seem too bad, but to put that into perspective, an album bomb is never allowed more than three songs at the same time. Surely Christmas songs are just as monotonous as an Ed Sheeran album, so why should they be under different regulation? I have a couple qualms relating to Christmas music, especially the charting of said music, but I’m nearly 2,300 words in and I haven’t even written the song reviews yet so I think I better shut up. I know this has been a long and somewhat messy episode, but I really had no option. Welcome to season three, everybody. Next week won’t be pretty, either, as all of those 52 songs will have completely and utterly disappeared.

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