#And I'm actually incredibly proud of this it took me like an hour and a half

[bugsnbites]

I was watching that clip of Scar and Grian putting on creeper costumes to scare Cleo and couldn't help myself. Scar and Gri scare Cleo by disguising themselves as Homeworld Gems, probably regret it immediately

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (31/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: The promised back massage - and friends help each other.

Warnings: 18+ (thigh riding, inexperienced!reader)

Word Count: 3.6k

series masterlist

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A/N: I'm so proud. Charlie won his home race! I'm still crying. feedback is appreciated!

"So?" asks Charles as you move further and further away from the beautiful house. "What do you think of them?"

You smile at him. "You have a really great family, Charles. Maybe a little wild, but it's obvious how much you love each other."

He looks at you briefly before returning his gaze to the road ahead. "I love them more than anything. Ever since my father died, we've taken every opportunity to spend time together." He swallows briefly. "We appreciate each other. And that's worth a lot."

You carefully reach for his hand, which is resting on the shift stick, and turn it so that you can interlace your fingers with his. You place it on your lap and stroke the back of his hand in gentle circles with your thumb. "Thank you for taking me here. It means a lot to me."

"Actually, I didn't have any other choice. I think my mother would have kicked down our front door if I kept you from her." Charles has to grin. "I definitely wouldn't have survived that."

"So that's how it is," you grin and let go of his hand with mock outrage. "So you only took me with you out of pure self-protection."

Before you can cross your arms in front of your chest, he grabs your hand again and brings it up to his mouth so that he can tentatively blow a kiss on your knuckles. "Do you believe me when I tell you that it's incredibly important to me that you know my family? And that you like them?"

You feel the heat rush to your face as he brushes his lips over the thin skin of your fingers. You take a quick breath and stare at him before nervously - and slightly turned on - looking away from him. "Maybe." You try to sound as nonchalant as possible and hope that Charles doesn't notice the tremble in your voice. "I'm definitely glad Arthur didn't do anything to you. I bet he was a kid back then who just bit other children."

Charles has to laugh at that. Loudly and fervently, and you don't know if he does it on purpose, but he presses your hand firmly against his muscular chest and holds it there. You feel the vibration under your fingertips and air rushing through his lungs, and his laughter is so infectious that you can't help but join in.

When he finally lets go of your hand, he wipes the tears from his face. He takes another deep breath before letting out one last laugh and then places his hand on your thigh like it's the most normal thing in the world. The warmth of his skin almost burns through the fabric of your clothes. You try not to let it show. "Believe me, mon amour. I should even have a scar from his teeth somewhere."

When you stop at a traffic light, Charles leans forward a little and pushes his back through. When you hear a few of his vertebrae crack, you grimace. "Does your back hurt?"

"A little." He leans back into the seat again, but stretches his neck to the side. "Not being able to lean back for hours is more uncomfortable than you think." When he glances at you out of the corner of his eye and smirks, you lightly punch his shoulder. 

"You idiot." Charles laughs in response. "You're just after a back massage!"

"You take what you can get." His hand squeezes your thigh. 

You roll your eyes. "You could have just asked for a massage, you know? I imagine the stool isn't the most comfortable piece of furniture."

Charles shrugs. "I didn't want it to be weird in any way."

Your gaze focuses on his slender fingers on your leg. "Do you mean because of this morning?" you ask meekly. 

"Actually -" Charles clears his throat. " Because of Arthur, actually. He was hinting at something and - I don't know." He steers the car onto the street where your apartment is. When he takes his hand off your thigh to change gear, you miss his touch. Without another word, he parks the Renault in the building's underground garage and without looking at you, you take the elevator to your apartment. 

The silence between you is a little awkward. The fact that you brought up the incident from this morning has somehow killed the mood and you'd like to slap yourself for it. You could have left it at that - after all, you had spoken to each other and agreed that everything was fine between you - but you had stupidly cast it in a different light.

You get ready for bed in separate rooms in silence. While Charles brushes his teeth in the bathroom, you change in the bedroom and slip into comfortable shorts and a shirt that you're not sure if it belongs to you or Charles. When you run into each other in the hallway, you don't look at each other, but pass each other with lowered eyes. 

In the bathroom, you splash cold water on your face and are about to bang your forehead against the porcelain of the sink. Until just now, the day had been wonderful. You met his wonderful family, had a fun evening and although you had a little slip-up this morning, Charles and you got on really well. Your friendship hasn't been tarnished and apparently you've been so good to each other that the Leclerc family think you're a couple. 

That's another thing you need to sort out. Between the two of you and definitely with his family. Even though you've only got to know the Leclercs properly since today, you've already grown fond of them and it doesn't feel right to fib to everyone. Above all, it doesn't feel right to Pascale, who has invited you into her home and insists that you spend Christmas with them. Pascale, who has such a big heart and didn't hesitate for a moment to take you into the family. 

It's not fair to her - even if a small part of you wants to keep things the way they are. Even if it doesn't reflect reality, the word girlfriend doesn't ring false in your ears. The thought of it makes you feel warm and somehow the blood tingles in your veins. 

You blame it on the long day you've had and the fact that you're too emotionally exhausted to put one and one together. How crazy would it be if you were actually Charles' girlfriend?

You immediately push the thought aside when you return to the bedroom and see Charles lying on the bed. He continues to scroll through his phone without looking at you and doesn't even glance at you as you slip under the covers on your side of the bed. 

You want to press your face into the pillow and scream, but you can't do that because it definitely wouldn't ease the tension in the air. You could also cry quietly to yourself, but Charles would notice even that. But you could also -

"Am I still getting the back massage?" Confused, you look over at your friend, who puts his cell phone aside and looks at you. He shrugs and then runs his hand through his hair. "You said I should just ask. And I thought I'd try my luck." His hand wanders over the comforter and when he finds yours, he intertwines your fingers. 

"Charles -" you begin, but you don't know how to finish the sentence. You're relieved that he doesn't take offense at your comment and wants to ease the situation by pretending nothing happened. You would love to kiss him for it. The thought sends a warm shiver down your spine.

"Sorry," Charles apologizes as he mistakes your awkwardness for hesitation. "It was a stupid idea. I just thought -"

"It's okay," you interrupt him and squeeze his hand, whereupon he squeezes back twice. "Apparently the stool was super uncomfortable. And friends help each other, don't they?" 

The Monegasque returns your gentle smile. "Friends help each other," he repeats, his gaze flickering briefly from your eyes to your lips and back again. " 'Um - should I take my shirt off? I think that would be smarter, don't you?"

Before you can say anything back, his hand disengages from yours and in one elegant movement he pulls the garment over his head and throws it to the other end of the bed. You watch the muscles in his back flex as he slides down the bed a little and lies on his stomach without hesitation, as if he can't wait another second. 

You have to strain to tear your gaze away from him. "I think I still have some body lotion somewhere." You quickly run back to the bathroom, where you spot the cream on the shelf next to the door, and sprint back to Charles, who has put his head in his hands and is smiling at you. You stand uncertainly in front of the bed, swaying from one foot to the other. "Where - I mean - how -?"

"Just sit on my legs," he says gently and pulls the blanket off him so that you can sit on top of him. "I think that's easier than from the side. Isn't it?"

"I - I don't know," you reply quietly and stop in your tracks. Of course, it would make more sense to sit astride his legs, but then you would also be sitting on him. And you definitely don't want things to get weird between you again. 

"Just sit down, please. I won't bite." Charles reaches out and grabs your hand to pull you towards him. He doesn't let go until you swing your leg over his and get comfortable on the back of his thigh. "See? It's not so bad, is it?"

You're glad he can't see how hard you're swallowing. The fine hairs tickle the soft skin on the inside of your thighs and heat shoots into your face as you slide your butt around to find the best possible position. When you finally find it, you remove the cap from the body lotion. "Careful, it might be a bit cold."

"It's okay, it can't be that bad - oh fuck!" Charles exclaims as you pour the contents of the bottle onto his back. Goosebumps immediately spread across his back and arms and you have to stifle your laughter. "Don't you dare laugh at me. My goodness, you could have warmed up the cream in your hand!"

"Sorry," you grin and close the bottle again before placing it on the bed next to your knee. "I thought it would be easier this way."

"It's definitely meaner," Charles replies, glancing over his shoulder at you. "You owe me a longer massage for that. At least half an hour." 

"No problem," you smile. You hope he doesn't notice your hesitation, because it takes a few seconds before your head commands your hands to rest on his broad back and spread the cream. With your fingers spread apart, you glide over his spine, his shoulder blades to his neck, where you feel the first lump under your fingertips. Slowly, but firmly, you press your thumb over the spot. 

And Charles moans shamelessly. "Fuck, that feels good." He closes his eyes as you continue to work on his neck. "I think you've missed your profession."

"You think so?" you ask softly. Your fingers glide to his hairline, his muscular neck and back over his shoulders. "Maybe I wouldn't be unemployed right now."

"I'd hire you in a heartbeat." As you press the side of his left shoulder blade with your thumbs, he exhales audibly. "Yeah, right there."

Smiling, you look at him before returning to your task. "I think you're too old for that stool. I'll sit on it next time."

"You're only saying that because you're hoping for a massage too." Charles' voice sounds rough and deep, completely relaxed. With his eyes closed, he enjoys your touch and misses you biting your lower lip. 

Your mouth goes dry at the thought of feeling his hands on your bare skin. You'd be only too happy to repeat this morning's incident if it meant that nothing would change between you. That you would remain friends. 

Nervously, you slide around on his legs. "Maybe."

You don't receive an answer. In comfortable silence, you run your hands over his back, pressing certain points in his muscles that make the Monegasque hum and moan softly. It's nice to know that he can let himself go with you and that you seem to be doing him good. 

Your hands wander down to the hem of his shorts and before you can really think about it, your thumbs slide just underneath so that you can massage the marks the shorts leave on his skin too. Charles takes a gasping breath and for a moment you think you've gone a step too far, but Charles doesn't even open his eyes as he speaks. 

"I miss this."

You tilt your head, even though he's not looking at you. "What do you mean?"

"Being touched," he answers your question quietly.

You pull your fingers out from under the hem and let them glide over his spine. "We touch each other."

Charles lets out a sigh. "I know. But - I don't know." His mouth twists into a thin line. "That's something else."

"Explain it to me." 

"It's been months since I've touched anyone, or vice versa. And I'm not talking about friendly touching. What we do," he explains. You don't know why your heart tightens as if it has heard bad news. 

Your fingers trail over his shoulders and then down his arm. Goosebumps spread under your fingertips. "Okay."

"Not that I don't think it's nice," he tries to get his act together. "I love it when I hold your hand or when we cuddle in bed. That's not even up for debate." When your fingers reach his wrist, he grabs them and squeezes them twice. "I don't know how to describe it." 

"What exactly do you mean by 'touch'?" you try to draw him out. "I mean, apparently there must be a difference between what you mean and what we do."

Charles shrugs and lets go of your hand so you can continue. "I miss having my hair played with. Or having my legs rubbed." Lying down, he runs his hand through his hair once, "I don't know."

You chew the inside of your cheek. "Do you mean - I don't know - like more intimate touching?" When you hear yourself say that, you try to turn it around again. "I mean - I'm not talking about sex. But rather that emotional connection? That you feel close to someone and touching them, like playing with your fingers or rubbing your arms, feels different?"

Charles turns his head in your direction so he can look at you. "I miss being touched more intimately. I really crave it." He turns under you so that he is now lying on his back. He leans on his elbows. You don't know where to put your hands, which is why you hold them strangely in the air. You try to fix your gaze on his face, but it flickers briefly to his abs. Something that doesn't escape Charles' notice. "What about you?"

"What about me?" 

"My relationship went down the drain months ago. It's obvious I'm touch starved." He sits up straight and reaches for your hands, placing them tentatively and hesitantly on his chest. "I can't stop thinking about this morning."

You can feel his heart beating under your palm and there's a sparkle in his beautiful green eyes. "We're friends," you state the obvious. The one you agreed on. 

Charles nods. "And I don't want that to change either. I really don't." He exhales and you feel his warm breath on your face. "But don't you miss it? Being touched? Being touched intimately?"

As he licks his lips, your brain shuts down for a moment. "I've never - I don't - I -" you stumble over your words and heat rushes to your cheeks. You don't know why you're confiding in him. You don't know why your hands are wandering from his chest up to his shoulders. The only thing you can feel is Charles' arm around you, pulling you closer to him. His one leg slides between yours so that you're sitting on his bare thigh. You just hope he can't feel your arousal pooling in your shorts.

"Mon amour," he whispers and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear with his other hand. From there, his fingers glide along the soft skin of your neck, over your collarbone, along your arm, until your fingers intertwine again. "Your shorts are pretty thin." He leans forward slightly and lays a feather-light kiss on your neck. You blow all the fuses. "I can feel you dripping for me. Let me help you." His hand settles on your hip and gently he pushes you back a little on his leg, but only to pull you forward again. Electricity shoots through your veins as you moan shamelessly into his face. "Friends help each other. All you have to do is say yes."

Something primal flares in his eyes as he brings your hand to his mouth and places his lips on your knuckles. A gentle gesture that is in complete contrast to how you feel inside. Fire blazes under your skin, heat coursing through your whole body as he places your hand against his cheek, then presses a kiss to your palm. "Nothing changes," you murmur, to which Charles nods. 

"Nothing changes," he confirms. "We stay friends." His hands slowly slide under your bottom, under the hem of your shorts. You feel his hot skin on yours as he rocks you back and forth on his thigh. "I promise."

Your crotch rubs against his leg with such relish and when the hem of your shorts catches on your clit, you burn out all your fuses. "Yes."

Charles' lips find your neck as his hands cup your ass and guide you over his leg. With your mouth open and your eyebrows furrowed, you dig your fingers into his shoulder blades. Pleasure pulses through your body as his mouth moves over your neck, sucking lightly on the thin skin but not lingering long enough to leave a mark. Each kiss is gentle, the complete opposite to his grip on your ass and the way he rubs you over him. 

"Charles." Your voice is little more than a sigh and you think you can feel his raging boner against your leg, but the thought quickly fades as one of his hands pulls away from you. Instantly you miss his touch, his skin on yours, but before you can do anything, his fingers reach into your hair to gently pull your head back. 

"I'm here, mon amour," he breathes against the newly won space on your neck. Gently, he sucks where your pulse is, and you think you feel his teeth against your skin for a moment. "I'm here."

You don't know where to put your hands, so you just use them to press his face closer to you. You feel his tongue at the point where your neck meets your shoulder and arch towards him. "Please."

You don't know what you're asking for, but Charles knows all the better for it. He rocks you over his leg, which is wet and slippery from your arousal, and as your knee gently bumps against his cock, he moans into your ear. 

Absently, your hands disengage from his hair and scrape down his chest to the hem of his shorts, but before you can go an inch further, his thumb and forefinger curl around your wrists. "Mon amour, today is about you," he murmurs, kissing your cheek as he notices your disappointed look. "Don't pout. Otherwise we'll stop here and now." 

You move over his thigh on your own and, without taking the chance, you nudge his boner again with your knee. "But you said -" you begin, but Charles lets go of your hands, only to hold them behind your back. 

"Nuh-uh." His lips find their place against your collarbone. Apparently he notices that you close your eyes, because his free hand rests gently against your throat. "Look at me, mon amour." His voice is no more than a gasp as you open your eyes and look up at him pleadingly. You want him closer, want to feel his lips on yours, his cock splitting you in half. You want him to ruin you for any other men.

You approach the cliff, willing yourself to plunge down it, but when you close your eyes again, Charles merely presses your lap against his leg, preventing you from moving any further. You look at him in shock. "Charles."

"Fuck, I love it when you say my name." He holds you tight, chest to chest, and you try to move somehow, to rub against him. And he lets you. His hand loosens from your wrists while the other continues to rest on the column of your throat, but doesn't squeeze. "Look at me, mon amour," he repeats to himself, shamelessly sliding his hand inside your shorts so he can cup your ass. With one final movement, he pulls you forward, the hem of your shorts rubbing perfectly over your swollen bundle of nerves and white lightning flashes through your veins. "Look at me when you come for me."

And you do.

[welcometomyoasis]

Seventeen with an s/o who is book smart but not street smart

Synopsis: What seventeen would be like with an academically overachieving, book smart s/o who is not the most street smart person in the world.  Svt x academic overachiever gn! reader | fluff, comfort | 1.78k words | warnings: lack of sleep, neglect of self-care, stress, food, minor injury, bullies, robbery | requested by anon and @nonononranghaee A/n: i feel like this is literally me… idk if this is good because i didn’t really know how to write this well… also yes i am aware jun's face is cut off in the photo but i'm too lazy to change the image rn...

Preamble: When your boyfriend first met you, he was taken in by your determination and your drive to succeed academically. He admired that about you. Your voice held so much conviction when you spoke about what you wanted to achieve in your chosen field. You had high aspirations and you told him straight up that you would stop at nothing to make your dreams come true. You would always be busy. You took extra classes, did extra research, and worked incredibly hard on all your assignments. You would pour over all your research for hours on end to make sure you had done everything perfectly. No detail would be overlooked. Your efforts always allowed you to have an edge over others, and you excelled. Your boyfriend was so proud of you for always pushing yourself to make sure your dreams came true. The only thing is, as time goes on, he starts to realise that your efforts and ability to excel academically came at a cost… 

✎ᝰ How are you still alive? 

Seungcheol, Joshua, Wonwoo, Dokyeom, Mingyu

𖠋 No offense to you, but uhm this is how you’ve been surviving? He’s actually in shock. Let’s start with the fact that your working environment is a mess. Papers and books are scattered all over your desk, there’s a million cups lying around with each one being filled with different types of caffeinated drinks. There’s snack wrappers everywhere. You haven’t eaten a proper meal in forever, and you’re running on 2 hours of sleep. 

𖠋 Then there’s the fact that you lack situational awareness. You’re often engrossed in pouring over your notes when you’re walking which means that there is more than once when you’ve bumped into other people/ things/ walls because you don’t notice what is in front of you. You have bruises and bandages littered on your fingers because you’re constantly dropping books and hot beverages on yourself. There’s been multiple occasions when your wallet or your phone has “gone missing” because you’re too busy looking at your work and you forget to keep your valuables that were left on the table. And if you do encounter unknown situations if you’ve gotten lost, you freeze not knowing what to do (like if your car breaks down or you’ve gotten lost).

𖠋 So, his question is just how are you still alive? You’re academically successful, and you can recite all the theories you need to know in your chosen field. But at what cost? Your health? Your safety? Your wellbeing? He’ll definitely need to teach you to be more aware of your surroundings. Like look up when you’re walking, be mindful of the people around you. If you get lost, look at a map or call him. In the meantime, he’ll have to be extra careful and take on the role of being your protector. He’ll make sure you don’t bump into anything, and he’ll scare off anyone who wants to take your things. 

𖠋 Besides that, his first priority is your wellbeing. He will pry you away from your desk and lock you out of the room while he helps you to clear up the litter from your desk. He’ll force you to take a break by bringing you out or forcing you to rest with him. He’ll also make sure that you’re well fed with food that he has cooked/ ordered. You need to be able to have a wholesome, warm meal instead of surviving off snacks. Of course, he’s also making sure that you’re going to rest so he’ll tuck you next to him either on the bed or at the couch for a nap or just a cuddle session. It’s to give your mind and body a break. 

𖠋 While he can’t help you with your work, you can be sure that he’ll take care of you and ensure your safety. Just please! Be more mindful of your surroundings… he’s had so many scares because of the number of walls you’ve almost walked into. 

✎ᝰ Why are you like this… 

Jeonghan, Junhui, Minghao, Seungkwan

𖠋 He’s just in disbelief. Sorry did you trade your common sense for being academically smart? Just how, and why are you so muddle headed? How can you be so smart, and yet so dumb (for lack of a better word)? He’s seen you read thick academic books about all sorts of theories in a day, but you can’t read a map? You can’t even find your way properly despite there being signs all around you? He’s seen you find a small minor flaw in someone’s research that could upset their whole argument, but you can’t find you keys? You have a key holder by the door, why have you misplaced your keys again? Also, did you just ask him if you should bring a jacket to the library even though you know you get cold whenever you go there? He’s just speechless. But this problem of your muddle headedness is easy enough to manage and resolve. 

𖠋 The bigger problem is that you’re too naive. You trust others too easily and are often taken advantage of. People in your course know how smart you are, and they want to know what you know. They see getting close to you and asking you about your research/ the previous days’ lectures, as a shortcut to getting an A in class. Because you’re more than happy to share, thinking of it as a way to gain new insights, you’re usually so open to sharing your notes with them. It’s just that they often don’t reciprocate your kindness and they make copies of your notes to be their study guide. During group work, everyone wants to be in your group, and you’re usually left doing all the work because you need it to be perfect. Regardless of how stressed you are, or how little work everyone else has done, you’ll take the extra effort to perfect your project. In the end, others who took advantage of you get their As at the expense of your wellbeing and effort. When your boyfriend sees this, he can’t stand it. 

𖠋 He teaches you that you can’t always be kind to them. Even though academics is about teamwork and collaboration, it is also competition. You don’t always have to share your work with others. Keep the good parts of your research to yourself. And when it comes to group work, everyone should do their fair share. Why should you have to put in the extra effort just to pull up the other weaklings in the group. He starts to keep a closer eye on you when you do your work. When you start to get too engrossed, he’ll break you out of that by giving you tea or snacks. He’ll make sure you take frequent breaks, and he’ll make sure that your research stays yours. He’s intuitive and because you usually tell him everything about your work, he will know if someone tries to take advantage of your work. In those situations, he’ll caution you to be careful, and to not let them get their way. But if they are too pushy and you find yourself in a bit of a pickle not being able to say no, he’ll step in. Whoever tries to take advantage of your intellect and work will have hell to pay. 

✎ᝰ You know what? He can’t say anything because he’s exactly like you.

Hoshi, Woozi, Vernon, Dino

𖠋 He sighs in exasperation, but doesn’t feel that he has the right to lecture you because he recognises your need to excel at whatever cost. Whatever you’re doing to succeed, the all nighters, the caffeine intake, the need to push yourself physically to complete whatever it is you’re working on, he’s done all that before. He recognises the bags that exist under your eyes, and it’s the same ones that appear under his eyes when he’s working on something. It’s a mark of your efforts, and the mark that you’re pushing yourself too far and too hard. He definitely feels bad, he doesn’t like seeing you so stressed and running on so little sleep. He feels helpless. He can’t help you to ease the burden you’ve placed on yourself, and he knows there’s no way of breaking you out of this self-destructive cycle until you’ve decided that you’ve done enough. Is this how the rest of his members/ family feels when they see him pushing himself? 

𖠋 He also admits that it is like you both lack common sense sometimes despite you both excelling in your chosen fields. Things that should come naturally to you don’t. If you feel unwell, you should rest, but no, you think it’s just one of those phases when you’ve hit a roadblock in your work and you continue to push on. If it’s raining, you should bring an umbrella, but no, you both usually decide to just hug your bag to yourself and run in the rain. If there is a puddle avoid it?? But no, you usually don’t even look where you’re going because your mind is racing from everything you need to do and you end up with wet shoes and socks. 

𖠋 You both end up laughing and bonding over your shared experiences. Still, because you both admit that this type of behaviour is self-destructive, you make an agreement to constantly keep an eye out for one another. Walks in the park, going out for dates, it’s all pre-arranged as a way to get both of you out from the house/ office. You both constantly remind each other that if you are unwell and stressed, there’s no way that you’ll be able to do anything because your body is fighting against being pushed too far. You both have to remember that it is better for you to take frequent breaks rather than to be out of commission for a long time because your mind and body have crashed. Only then will you both be able to do your best at all times. There’s also no rush since you’ve been putting in so much effort until this point. There’s nothing wrong with being kind to yourselves and taking a little break. You both do feel like broken records sometimes, but it’s necessary to make sure that you both don’t push yourselves too far. 

taglist: @weird-bookworm @wonijinjin @babyleostuff @wishing-fieshes @kwanienies @mayashu @megseungmin @porridgesblog @haecien @mirxzii @scoupsofcherries @eightlightstar @brownsugarbaybee @zaggprincess2 @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @treehouse-mouse

[homestylehughes]

wanna bet?

quinn hughes x fem!reader

summray: you make a bet with quinn, which of you will win?

wc: 2.9K

warnings: nsfw 18+ smut, unprotected sex, p in v (practice safe sex guys!), oral fem receiving, spitting, cussing, dirty talk. there's some plot but it's mostly smut.

an: OH BOYYYYYY... i'm a little nervous to post this... GULP. it's my first time writing smut, so hopefully you guys all enjoy!! it took me like 4 hours LOL! writing smut is hard guys... thank you to all of my smut writing warriors. ALSO i tried my hand at making a header for my work, i kinda like it?? i cant tell if i ate or not..LMFAO. anyways im done yapping. like and reblog if you like, as always much love as always.

happy reading <3

“We should make a bet.” I say to Quinn as we’re getting ready for a home game between the Canucks and Winnipeg Jets. 

He looks at me confusingly as he finishes tying his tie in the mirror. “What kind of bet are we talking about?” he mutters back. “I don't know, something spicy and fun '' I say, as I make my way over to him to fix his crooked tie. 

“Hm..i like the sound of that” quinn says, as he rests his hands on my waist pulling me closer to his body.  I chuckle at his sudden change in interest, finally fixing his tie, I rake my eyes over his face. 

“I have an idea,” I say as our eyes remain locked, “and what's that baby?” Quinn says, I can feel his gaze now locked on my lips. 

“If you score tonight, i'll let you do whatever you want to me.'' I say, as I slowly trace my hands around his neck to play with his hair, leaning my body further into his. “if you don't score, i get to do whatever i want to you, but you can't touch.” 

I can feel quinns breath hitch in his throat, as I press myself completely against his front, planting soft kisses down his neck and across his jaw. His hands moving from my waist, to my ass, griping is hard and pulling me even tighter against him. 

Quinn tips his head down to try and connect our lips together, I quickly move my head to avoid his kiss. “How do those conditions sound?” I say, looking at quinns now flushed state. 

“They sound really good, baby, they would sound even better if you'd let me kiss you.” he says, slowly moving our faces closer together. 

I slowly shake my head no, as I pull myself apart from him. “ I have to finish getting ready, and so do you.” I say, while looking at a wide eyed, flustered quinn. 

“You actually hate me, don't you?” Quinn says, looking at me, still wide eyed. “no i don't, i just like making you suffer.'' I grin back at him. 

“So are we shaking on this?” Quinn says, finally collecting himself. Without a word I held my hand out to him, waiting for him to grasp it. Our eyes are locked, as Quinn pulls his arm forward, his hand finally finding mine, pulling it into a firm handshake. “you're on Hughes,” I said to him. “No you're on, I'm scoring tonight, just for you baby '' Quinn says grinning at me like a kid in a candy store. 

I step forward and press a sweet kiss on his lips, pulling away before he has the chance to deepen it, “may the best man win” i say before turning away from him, to finish getting ready. 

I'm nervous, not for the game, but for tonight. My nerves are getting the best of me as I sit in the stands waiting for the puck to drop. My eyes follow Quinn as they warm up on the ice.

 I'm starting to think I'm a dumbass for even betting on this. Quinn is super competitive, he's not going to let me win, but damn do I want to win. 

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my head, I settle in my seat, gaze locked on ice as the first whistle signaling the game has begun goes off. 

      This is going to be a long game, a long night, I think to myself. 

The Canucks win in a shutout, 5-0. I couldn't be more proud of them as they skate off the ice. Most importantly I couldn't be more proud of myself for finally winning a bet against quinn. 

They played an incredible game tonight, with 5 amazing goals, not none of those coming from quinn. I couldn't help but secretly be happy that he didn't score. 

I leave the stands and make my way towards the locker room, waiting for Quinn to finish up with getting ready and press interviews. Around 45 minutes later, I see Quinn make his way towards me. I open my arms to him, grasping him in a hug, “good game baby” I say to him as he pulls away, whispering a small “thank you” in my direction. 

We start to make our way to the parking lot, silence surrounds us, it starts to make me nervous. “Any updates on Thatcher?” I ask, who went to the locker room during the second period, with an injury. “We don't know too much right now, hopefully we get some updates tomorrow morning on his status.'' Quinn says as he throws his bags in the back seat of the car, before sliding over to open the passenger door for me.

 “Hopefully he’s okay, I'm sure he is. He's a tough guy, keep me updated when you get any information." I say to Quinn, as he's pulling out of the parking lot. “I will.” he says shortly. I frown at his shortness, in the conversation. 

“Are you okay?” i ask him quietly, “yeah, im okay.” he replies back quickly. Not wanting to push, I decided that's a good enough answer, keeping my gaze locked on my lap the whole way home. 

The car comes to a stop, signaling that we made home. I quickly got out of the car, wanting to escape the tension that was starting to suffocate me. Unlocking the door quickly, speeding my way upstairs to the bathroom, not even looking back to see if Quinn was behind me. 

Closing the bathroom door quickly, I take a deep breath to regain my thoughts. Is Quinn mad at me? Is he upset over Demko? Upset that I won the bet? Upset that he didn't score? I don't want him to be upset with me, especially over this, this was supposed to be hot and cute and now i feel like it's blown up in my face. A bet that I don't even care about at this point. 

5 minutes later, after I've calmed myself down. I see Quinn on the edge of the bed, when I open the bathroom door. Taking another deep breath, I start to make my way across our bedroom to the closet. As I'm beginning to pass the bed where Quinn sits, I feel him grab my leg, pulling me back towards him. 

My nerves are rising again. I'm now in between Quinn's legs, looking down at my feet as I wait for him to say something. I feel his hands run up my thighs, gripping them with a slight pressure. Trailing them higher on my body, over the Hughes jersey that covers my upper half. Quinns hands, finding their home on my waist, for the second time today. 

“Baby, look at me,” Quinn says, gently but with authority. I slowly lift my head up to lock my eyes to his. “I think we have a bet to take care of.” he says to me, my brain doesn't even register what he just said to me, before i start speaking. “are you mad at me? I feel like you're mad at me. We don't have to do this, it's just a bet it doesn't really matter to me Quinn. I thought this was a good idea earlier but now i dont think it's a good idea. I know you're definitely mad at-” 

  I'm quickly cut off by the feeling of quinns lips on mine. Taking me by surprise it takes my body a few seconds to respond. Once I do, my hands are instantly finding his hair, as Quinn pulls me down so I'm now straddling his lap, our kiss getting more intense by the second. 

I began to grind myself on his bulge that I felt growing beneath me. Quinn begins painting beneath me, his mouth opening enough for me to slide my tongue into his mouth, pulling myself into him. Our mouths began to fight for dominance. Our bodies move against each other at a faster rate. Quinns hands pushed my waist hard against his, causing me to moan into his mouth. 

Quinn pulls back suddenly, causing me to wine more. “Does it look like I'm upset with you baby?” he asks me as he starts to suck on my neck leaving kisses in his wake, causing me to arch my back closer into his mouth. Pulling away from my neck, looking at each other as we’re both panting. “I was acting like a sore loser” quinns says while rubbing slow circles on my thigh, eyes still locked with mine. “I don't like losing, and I really don't like not being able to have my way with you, not being able to touch you.” he breathes out at me. I'm struggling to find my words while he's looking at me like that. 

“Quinn. I don't care about this stupid bet anymore, I want you now." I don't even wait for him to respond to me before I'm crushing our lips back together. The kiss is hot, with need and want. Our teeth and tongues clashing together. 

I find the will to pull myself off Quinn, now standing in front of him. Without saying anything, I began to peel off my clothes. Pulling off the jersey, leaving me in a black lacy bra, and my jeans. Quickly moving my hands to my jeans, unbuttoning them quickly, pulling them down with my underwear, kicking them off my feet. Reaching behind me and unclasping my bra. Leaving me completely bare in front of Quinn.

“I want you naked, now.” I say to Quinn, who moves in supersonic speed pulling off his clothes and throwing them somewhere behind me. 

“Fuck baby.'' Quinn says as he's pulling me into him again. “You look so hot right now, all for me too.” tracing his hands down my bare sides, causing my skin to erupt in goosebumps in his wake. 

Leaning forward he begins to press kisses against my stomach making his way down to my pussy, my breath begins to hitch, I'm afraid my legs are going to buckle beneath me. “Can I taste you baby? I want to taste your sweet pussy,  haven't in so long.” he says, as he slowly pulls my thighs apart. I can't find it within me to stop him, I don't care about the bet anymore. I need him to do something. “Yes please” I told him. He doesn't need to be told twice. 

Quinn quickly throws me down on the bed, my body making a small thud as it hits the bed. Quinn immediately pulled my thighs apart so he could rest between them.

 I'm knocked out of my daze, as I feel Quinn start to press kisses on the inside of my thighs, my breath is beginning to quicken again. “Look at me baby” he says, as he lifts his head to reach my eyes.

 I crane my neck to meet his gaze. Getting a good look at him, pupils blown with lust, his lips swollen and red, hair a mess, seeing him in this state turns me on even more. 

“Please Quinn,” I yelled out to him, shifting my body closer to his face. I need something, anything. ‘So impatient” Quinn chuckles, as he leans in closer to my pussy, so close I can feel his breath fan on my folds, causing me to slowly moan. “Keep your eyes on mine or I will stop. Got it?” he roughly says to me, nodding my head yes quickly. “Words baby” he says, “yes, yes quinn” i say urgently. 

Before I know it his face is diving into my cunt, his tongue instantly finding my clit, making arch my back into him. “Fuck” i say in a strangled moan, as my hands find their way to quinns hair, pushing his face deeper in my cunt. 

His tongue is lapping me up like a grown man starving, his hands are pushing my legs so hard and so far apart it almost hurts, but I can't find it inside me to care. His pace began to quicken, pushing his tongue in and out of my cunt. “Who got you this wet baby?” he mumbles into my heart. “You! Fuck right there baby” i moan out, as quinn slowly pushes 2 fingers in. 

The pressure is beginning to build in my stomach, between quinn fingering me and lapping and sucking on my clit is enough to push me over the edge. “Harder, faster, fuck quinn.'' I managed to push out, his actions now becoming faster and more aggressive than before. 

Before I realize, my peak is coming. My hips grinding themselves on quinns face,  desperate to cum. “That's it baby, there you go.” he says, as i begin to push myself on his fingers deep inside of me. Moving his thumb to now, rub my clit at a fast rate. “fuck quinn im coming” i push my head flat against the pillow as my body archs into him. “Fuck, don't stop. Quinn please don't stop, please please” i began to blubber out as i began to cum all over his fingers. Continuing to grind myself against him, taking anything that he’ll give me.

Quinns hands keep my thighs from closing shut and he removes his fingers and replaces them with his tongue. Riding me through the last of my orgasm. My moans and pants are filling the room, my breath leaving my lungs as I finally come down from my orgasm. 

Quinn slowly pulled his face away from my heat. “That was the hottest thing, ive never seen, fuck” he says before making his way on top of me, his lips finding mine. 

Wrapping my arms around his neck pulling his chest to mine. Our bodies rocking together, “quinn” i say breathless, as his tongue is attacking my neck, moving his mouth lower down my body. Grasping my left nipple in his mouth, gently biting it, then releasing it into his mouth, wrapping his hot tongue around it. The action causes me to moan loudly, pushing my already close body even closer, if that's even possible.

As good as his assault on my boobs feels, I need him inside of me now. “Quinn” I say firmer this time. Pulling his face to mine, “ i need you to fuck me now, please now” i say panting in his face. 

That seems to flip a switch inside of quinn, he's quickly lining up his cock, with my entrance, slowly pushing himself into me. Quinn goes as he fully enters me, our eyes locking for a quick moment before I lift my head to bring myself to his lips. This kiss is different from the others, love and passion filled, a kiss that isn't rushed. “Can I move baby?” quinn asks from above me, “yes please fuck me” i pant back into his mouth, bringing our lips back together again.

Quinns hips quickly snapping against mine, pulling out fullying before pushing himself back into me. The quick motion caused the both of us to moan loudly, “harder” I moan out to him. “You want me to fuck you harder baby?” Quinn says back to me. To answer his question I push my hips up to meet his thrusts, quinn moves one of his hands from my waist to my right leg, and pushes it above his shoulder. the new angle, hitting a depth i didn't know was even possible. Fucking me at a pace so good, that i didnt want him to stop. 

The sound of groans, moans and our skin meeting and slapping together fills our room, our bodies slick with sweat. My eyes flutter open meeting quinns eyes, as he fucks me so deep and so good, my mouth is hung open but no words are coming out. 

Grabbing my jaws he leans down and spits into my mouth “swallow” he orders, his eyes still locked with mine. I do as he says, swallowing every last bit.

“Fuck you’re so hot” quinn moans at me, as he continues to fuck me. “More more '' I moan loudly at him, Quinn then pushes both of my legs on his shoulders. Fucking me so deep i can feel him in my stomach.

“Im gonna cum, baby” Quinn breathes in my ear, his face dropping to my neck as he picks up his pace. I feel the familiar burn build up in my stomach again. “Don't stop, im almost there please dont stop” i wine at him urging him to go even faster. 

Grabbing our headboard, using more strength to push himself harder into me. One singular snap of his hips causes me to cum. “Quinn quinn, im coming fuck fuck fuck” i moan loudly. “come for me baby fuck” quinn says as he continues to fuck me though my orgasm. 

“Im cumming” he sputters out, his lips finding mine. Our bodies move together as we’re coming down from our highs. 

My legs slowly come down from his shoulders, Quinn slowly pulling out of me, wincing as he does. Collapsing beside me, our chests falling and rising together, pants fill the room still. I turn my body to his hand tracing his chest and neck. Pushing his hair that's fallen in his face back. Quinns arms circled around my waist pulling me closer to him. 

“So much for the bet huh?” he says while laughing, pulling me in for another kiss.

[me-loving-woso]

And all the days after that.

Hi everyone! So this is the last part of Today. Tomorrow. I hope you will enjoy this! Let me know what you think about it!

It was night when Aitana first arrived at the hospital. She had multiple missed calls from Ciro, heightening her worry. She quickly approached the nurse at the entrance of the oncology department. “I’m looking for Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Are you a relative or family?” the nurse asked.

“I’m her wife,” Aitana blurted out, the first thing that came to mind. It had a nice ring to it.

“I need an ID.” She handed over her ID.

“A real one, as if I’m supposed to believe you’re actually Aitana Bonmati.” For the first time, the nurse looked up from her computer and stared at Aitana. “Oh, you are actually her! Thank you for all the trophies! Y/L/N is in room 309.”

Aitana sprinted to your room. Peering through the glass walls, she spotted Ciro inside with you. He turned to Aitana and exited your room.

“How is she? Is she sleeping? Is she alive? Is she—”

“Aitana, you’re rambling. You’re sleep-deprived and extremely worried. The surgery went well. The cancer was a bit larger than expected, but they managed to remove it completely.”

“Her voice?”

“We’ll know when she wakes up.” He turned to look at you. “Go inside.”

Aitana nodded and gently opened the door, slipping inside as quietly as possible. You lay in the bed, a pale but peaceful expression on your face. She took a moment to absorb the sight of you, relief flooding her knowing the surgery was successful.

She approached your bedside, her heart aching at the sight of the tubes and monitors attached to you. Gently, she reached out and took your hand in hers, feeling the warmth of your skin. The room was silent, save for the soft beeping of the heart monitor.

Minutes passed like hours as Aitana watched over you, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts. She couldn't shake the fear of what might happen when you woke up, but she also couldn't deny the immense love and admiration she felt for you. You had faced this battle with incredible strength and courage, and she was determined to support you no matter what.

Aitana fell asleep sitting next to you, her head on your lap and your hand in hers.

-

In the morning, your eyes finally fluttered open. You looked around the room, your gaze eventually landing on Aitana. You squeezed her hand, hoping to wake her up. Her head shot up in discomfort, but as soon as she saw you, she gave you a soft, encouraging smile, squeezing your hand gently.

"Hey, beautiful," she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

You tried to speak, but your throat was dry and sore. Aitana quickly reached for a cup of water with a straw and brought it to your lips. You took a few sips, wincing slightly at the discomfort.

"Take it easy," she said softly. "Don't try to talk just yet."

You nodded, understanding. You gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and she leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"I'm so proud of you," Aitana continued, her eyes filling with tears. "You did it. You're so strong."

You couldn't speak, so you just caressed her cheeks, letting your eyes convey your feelings.

“I’m going to call the doctor. I’ll be right back.” She kissed your temple and left the room.

A few minutes later, she returned with your oncologist and Ciro in tow. Aitana resumed her place, holding your hand, while the doctor performed your check-ups. Everything seemed fine. The incision on your throat was healing properly. Now came the moment of truth: testing your voice.

Dr. Martinez smiled warmly at you. "You did very well, Y/N. Now, the moment of truth. I want you to try saying something, anything at all."

Aitana's hand squeezed yours reassuringly. You took a deep breath, feeling the slight pull and discomfort from the incision on your throat. Slowly, you tried to form a word, any word, in your mind. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out at first. Fear gripped you, but Aitana's gentle presence gave you strength.

"Don't rush it," Dr. Martinez encouraged softly. "Take your time."

You tried again, focusing on the word "hi." A faint sound, almost like a whisper, escaped your lips. It was weak, but it was there. You saw the relief and joy in Aitana's eyes as she held your hand tighter.

"That's great, Y/N," Dr. Martinez said, smiling. "It's a good sign that you can make any sound at all. With time and practice, your voice should improve."

Tears welled up in your eyes. You managed to croak out a hoarse "thank you," barely more than a whisper, but it was enough. Aitana leaned in and kissed you softly, her eyes shining with pride and love.

"We'll work on this together," she whispered. "Every step of the way."

Ciro, standing nearby, gave you a thumbs-up and a supportive smile. "You're a fighter, Y/N. We're all here for you."

Dr. Martinez finished his check-up and gave you some instructions for your recovery. "You'll need to rest your voice as much as possible, but I want you to practice speaking a little bit each day."

You nodded, feeling a mix of relief and determination. You were ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, knowing you had the unwavering support of the people you loved.

As Dr. Martinez left the room, Aitana stayed by your side, her hand never leaving yours. She sat back down, her eyes never wavering from yours. The room fell into a comfortable silence, both of you just soaking in the relief and the promise of a future together.

"You did great," Aitana said softly, her thumb gently caressing the back of your hand. "I knew you could do it."

You squeezed her hand in return, a small smile forming on your lips. "Thanks for being here," you managed to whisper, though it was strained and barely audible.

Aitana's eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "I wouldn't be anywhere else," she replied, her voice thick with emotion.

The hours passed quietly. Occasionally, Aitana would read to you from her phone, recounting funny anecdotes from her teammates to keep your spirits up. You communicated with nods, gestures, and the occasional whisper, growing more confident with each passing attempt.

When night fell, the hospital room was bathed in darkness. Aitana was preparing to sleep uncomfortably in the chair next to you once again. You took her phone from her and typed: 'Go home.'

“I’m not leaving until you are leaving.” She was stubborn, and you didn’t have the strength to fight back.

You made space for her on the bed and typed on her phone, 'Cuddles?'

“You know I’ll never say no to that.” She slowly sat on the small bed and rested by your side, planting a kiss on your clothed shoulder.

“Thank you,” you barely whispered.

-

The next morning, you woke up to find Aitana still by your side, her hand still holding yours. You reached out with your free hand and gently brushed a lock of hair away from her face. She stirred and woke up, her eyes meeting yours with a sleepy but affectionate smile.

"Good morning," she whispered, leaning in to kiss your forehead. "How are you feeling?"

You nodded, managing a soft, "Better." Your voice was still weak, but the improvement was noticeable.

Aitana's smile widened. "That's great to hear. Today’s a new day, and we'll take it one step at a time."

That morning you started doing some speaking and breathing exercises to help your vocal chords to fully heal, which you didn’t think would be difficult since you never had any problem talking. Needless to say, it was more challenging than expected. It felt as if you had to learn to talk all over again.

Aitana’s unwavering support was frustrating at times. You tried not to take your frustration out on her, but sometimes it was difficult. Thankfully, as the days went by, your voice gradually began to improve.

Progress was slow but steady, with Aitana's constant encouragement helping you push through the tough moments. She celebrated every milestone with you, no matter how small—whether it was successfully pronouncing a tricky word or managing a full sentence without pain, she was there, cheering you on.

-

-

You remembered perfectly the day you spoke to your oncologist before checking out of the hospital.

Aitana and Ciro were having breakfast, leaving you alone for one of the few times. As you changed back into your normal clothes, the doctor walked into the room.

“Y/N, how are you?”

“I’m good, thanks to you,” you replied, smiling gratefully as you sat down on the bed to tie your shoes.

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I think it’s best if we do another round of chemo, just to be sure. We completely removed the tumor, but that doesn’t mean all the cancer cells are gone.”

Your heart sank a little. You had hoped the surgery would be the end of it. “Another round?”

“Yes, I recommend it to ensure we’ve eradicated any remaining cancer cells. It’s a precautionary measure, but it’s important.”

You nodded, taking in the information. “Okay. How long will the next round be?”

“About six weeks. By April, you should be done with everything, but we’ll monitor you closely. If all goes well, this could be the last step in your treatment.”

You took a deep breath, nodding again. “Alright, let’s do it. I’ll talk to Aitana and Ciro.”

The doctor gave you a reassuring smile. “You’re strong, Y/N. You’ve come this far, and you’re going to get through this.”

As you walked out of the room, you saw Aitana and Ciro in the cafeteria. They both looked up, concern etching their faces as they saw your serious expression. You sat down with them, taking Aitana’s hand in yours.

“Ready to go? I can't wait to go home.” You sat next to Aitana and silently asked if you could take a sip of her matcha.

“Did you talk to the doctor?” Aitana asked.

“Yes, I did,” you replied, savoring the comforting taste of the matcha. “There’s something we need to discuss.”

Aitana and Ciro both leaned in, their expressions a mix of concern and curiosity.

“The doctor wants me to do another round of chemo,” you began, feeling the weight of the news settle in. “It’s just to make sure we’ve got all the cancer cells. They said it should be about six weeks. By April, I should be done with everything.”

Aitana’s eyes widened slightly, but she quickly composed herself. “Whatever it takes to make sure you’re okay,” she said, her voice steady though her expression turned somber.

The drive home was filled with a mixture of quiet contemplation and light conversation. Aitana and Ciro did their best to keep the mood light, discussing their plans for the next few weeks and how they would help you through this next phase of treatment.

When you arrived home, Aitana helped you settle in, taking your things to the bedroom and folding your clothes neatly into a pile, while you complained that she wouldn’t let you do anything.

“I’m not on the verge of dying Tani! I can do some stuff.”

“I know, I know,” Aitana replied, smiling gently. “But let me pamper you a little, okay? It makes me feel better too.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn’t help the warmth spreading in your chest. Her care was both endearing and comforting.

Once everything was settled, Ciro left for the men's game at Montjuic, leaving you and Aitana alone for the first time in a while.

You knew she had missed some practice sessions and two games to be with you during chemo and surgery. Sometimes, you couldn’t help but feel guilty that she was missing out on her best years to be with you.

As you sat together on the couch, you couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. The TV was on, but you weren't really watching it. Instead, you found yourself lost in thought, glancing occasionally at Aitana, who seemed perfectly content just being by your side.

“Will you promise me something?”

“Anything.” Her gaze softened as she looked at you.

“You won’t miss any more games because of me.”

“I only missed two games, and it wasn’t a big deal. I wouldn't have played anyway, and I got to stay with you.” She shrugged happily.

“But football is your life. I understand you want to support me, but you should focus on your career.”

Aitana sighed, her thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. “Y/N. You’re my partner. I know these months have been hard, especially for you, but I’ve never been happier than when I’m by your side.”

You could see the sincerity in her eyes, but the guilt still lingered. “I don’t want you to put your life on hold for me. I don’t want you to look back and regret missing opportunities because of me.”

She smiled softly, her eyes twinkling. “I won’t regret it. Being here for you is something I’ll never regret. We’ve known each other for what... six months? And yet, from the first moment I saw you... okay, maybe the second time... I knew I wanted you in my life. Football shouldn’t be my only priority; I should also take time for myself. I would miss an entire season if it meant being able to be with you. I love you, Cari.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, overwhelmed by her words and the depth of her commitment. “I love you too, Tani. I just don’t want to hold you back.”

“You’re not holding me back,” she said, her voice firm and tender. “You make me better, happier, and... honestly, I couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend.”

You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. “Thank you for being here, for loving me.”

Aitana leaned in and kissed you gently, her lips warm and reassuring. “Always, Cari. Today. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. And all the days after that.”

---

Two weeks into chemo, the treatments hit you hard. You started throwing up more and couldn’t walk more than ten steps without feeling pain.

Aitana had started the busiest period of the season, so she was often away. Thankfully, Ciro, Eva, and your other friends from work were great. They stayed with you during treatments and always brought a smile to your face.

One evening, after a particularly tough day, you were lying on the couch, feeling utterly exhausted. Eva was beside you, scrolling through her phone, while Ciro was in the kitchen making tea.

“Hey, look at this,” Eva said, nudging you gently. She showed you a photo of a Bernese puppy. It was adorable, and you couldn’t help but smile, even though you felt like crap.

“That’s cute,” you said weakly.

“He kinda looks like Ares when he was a puppy!” she exclaimed excitedly, showing you the picture again. Ares had been your childhood dog. You’d always had big dogs in your home; since he passed, you hadn’t thought about getting another one.

Just then, the front door opened, and Aitana walked in. Her face lit up when she saw you, but you could see the worry in her eyes.

“Hey, Cari,” she said, coming over to give you a gentle hug. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck,” you admitted, trying to keep your tone light.

Aitana sat down beside you, taking your hand in hers, you immediately leaned into her. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here earlier. Training ran late.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured her. “I’m glad you’re here now.”

Ciro came in with the tea and handed you a cup. “Here you go. Chamomile, to help you relax.”

“Thanks, Ciro,” you said, grateful for his support.

The four of you sat together, chatting and trying to keep the mood light. Aitana was just content to be able to listen to you and Eva joking about adopting the puppy from the photo.

“So when I ask you to adopt a puppy, you say no, but when Eva showed you a puppy picture, you immediately said yes?” Aitana pouted, crossing her arms childishly.

“Eva was only joking! And honestly, as much as I love dogs, we don’t have the space nor the time for a puppy. And you can’t even take care of yourself! I need to remind you of everything!”

Aitana pouted even more dramatically, mischief sparkling in her eyes. “I can totally take care of myself! I just like you reminding me of things because it means you care.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

Eva laughed, enjoying the banter between you two. “Well, if you ever change your mind about the puppy, let me know. I know someone.” She winked.

Needless to say, you didn’t change your mind about the puppy thing.

---

Your last chemo had been really emotional for you. It was April, and all of your friends, Ciro and Aitana were busy, so you were alone. As you sat in the treatment room, the familiar hum of machines and the sterile smell of the hospital enveloped you. The nurses, who had become like family to you over these past months, tried to lift your spirits with their kind words and warm smiles.

As the session progressed, you couldn’t help but reflect on everything you had been through. The fear, the pain, the moments of despair, but also the love, the support, and the small victories that had kept you going. Tears welled up in your eyes, a mix of relief and exhaustion washing over you. You were almost at the end of this grueling journey, but the emotions were overwhelming.

Just as you were about to succumb to the loneliness, your phone buzzed. It was a video call from Aitana. You quickly wiped your tears and answered.

“Hey, Cari,” she greeted you, her face lighting up the screen. She was walking outside in the parking lot of the training grounds. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there with you today. How are you holding up?”

“I’m good. I just want to get this over with. How was training? You ready for Chelsea?”

“Definitely. I cannot wait for another Champion’s League night. They are the best.” She got inside the car.

“Where are you going now?”

“To see you,” she said as if it was the most obvious answer.

You rolled your eyes at her, knowing not to argue. “I’ll see you in ten minutes then.”

In those ten minutes, you had finished your chemotherapy and went with your oncologists to do your last tests to check if you still had cancer. Unfortunately, you would know the results of the tests this afternoon.

You were done very quickly, so you told Aitana to wait for you in the parking lot.

As you walked out of the hospital, the sun was shining brightly, a stark contrast to the anxiety that weighed heavily on your shoulders. You spotted Aitana's car and saw her standing outside, leaning against it with a concerned expression on her face.

“I hate when you are concerned; your face scrunches up in a weird way.” You walked up to her and snaked your hands around her waist for a hug. Her face softened as she held you tighter.

“Cari, how are you feeling?” She pulled down affectionately your beanie, which was hers, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

You were about to tell her that you would know if your cancer was receding this afternoon, but you opted not to, as you didn’t want to give her false hopes. “I’m good. What do you think about doing something different this afternoon? We always stay at home.”

“Well, if you want, Ingrid, Mapi, Frido, and Esmee are all going to this new art exhibit downtown. They needed to go because the artist is the daughter of one of our sponsors, so we are basically forced to go.” Aitana suggested, her eyes lighting up. “We could join them. It might be a nice change of pace.”

You turned to her, raising an eyebrow, “Why didn’t you go, if you were forced to?”

“I wanted to stay with my Cari.” You raised your eyebrow even more skeptically, “Okay, I didn’t want to go. But my friends have been bugging me nonstop about me going; the artist is so annoying and so-“

“You played the ‘my girlfriend has cancer’ card?” You chuckled.

“Am I an asshole if I did?”

“Just remember that your girlfriend might not have cancer in the near future, so you’ll have to come up with another excuse.”

“Well, I’ll just force you to come with me to keep me company.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’ll see about that.”

In the car, Aitana quickly called Mapi to explain that you were coming too.

When you arrived, you were greeted by Aitana’s friends, who were excited to see you out and about.

They all hugged you gently, making you go on your tippy toes, to hug them back. As you all walked inside the art exhibition, you took Aitana’s hand and waited for the group to move forward. “You really have to explain your thing for tall women to me,” you whispered teasingly.

“I don’t have a thing for tall women, otherwise I wouldn’t be dating you,” she smirked playfully, earning a playful smack on the arm from you.

“All of your friends are at least five centimeters taller than you.”

“Yeah, it’s true.” She couldn’t deny what you were saying, but she didn't give any further explanations.

As soon as you saw the paintings, you already knew it was going to be a very lackluster art exhibition. It was really bad, but somehow they felt oddly familiar.

“It’s so beautiful!” Mapi said ironically.

“I just don’t understand if the artist is actually that bad or if it’s just her artistic vision,” Esmee wondered aloud, trying to make sense of it.

You looked into another room of the exhibition and saw a painting that you had already seen. You turned to Aitana’s friends and chuckled, “The artist is just really bad, believe me. And let’s just hope that I don’t have to see her.”

Isabel Vallejo went to Uni with you, and you couldn’t stand each other; you always had a very competitive and passive-aggressive relationship. Eva would always have a good laugh when you both saw each other. You immediately texted her to tell her.

“Do you know her?”

“We went to uni together. We never got along.”

As if on cue, Isabel walked into the room, her eyes widening slightly when she saw you. She quickly masked her surprise with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Y/N, what a surprise to see you here. I didn’t expect to see you in a place this refined.”

You forced a smile. “Isabel, it’s been a while. I see you’re still making... bold choices.”

“Art needs boldness. At least I create something. You just apply some product to some painting and call it a day.”

You were about to speak when Aitana grabbed your hand, trying to calm you down. Isabel lowered her gaze to look at both of your hands and smirked, “You have a cute girlfriend, best footballer in the world. I hope you keep her satisfied, or else she might be looking elsewhere.”

“Yeah, I do keep her well satisfied, just like I did with Maria, remember?” You smirked, fully knowing that your words would bother her. You simply walked away and returned to your group with Aitana. Round 1 was won by you.

“What the hell just happened?” Mapi chuckled, looking at you.

“We went to Uni together; we always talk like this.”

“I didn’t know you had this in you, Cari. You are always so polite,” Aitana chuckled, making you turn to her.

“She’s so annoying, makes me want to punch her,” you sighed, frustrated.

“Who’s Maria, by the way?” Ingrid asked you, making you blush lightly.

“We dated the same girl; she broke up with Isabel to be with me. She didn’t take it that well.” Your face reddened. “And that’s not the worst part. We lived next to each other, so whenever Maria visited me, Isabel could hear everything.”

Mapi and Ingrid burst into laughter, and even Aitana couldn't help but giggle. “No wonder she’s still bitter,” Mapi said, shaking her head.

“I never thought I’d see the day Y/N had a love triangle scandal,” Aitana teased, nudging you playfully.

“You know what’s the worst thing?… I don’t regret it!”

“Wooo!” You made Aitana’s friend group burst out laughing.

After the art exhibition, you all decided to get coffee at a place nearby. While you were walking to the coffee shop, you got a phone call. You had forgotten that your doctor needed to call you that afternoon. You stopped in your tracks.

“Tani, can you take my order? I have to take this.”

“Is everything okay?” Her face scrunched up.

You placed a hand on her chest and kissed her reassuringly. “Go inside.” She nodded reluctantly, and you watched her join the others before answering the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N, it’s Dr. Martinez. I have your test results.”

You felt your heart race, a mix of anticipation and fear swirling inside you. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“I have good news,” Dr. Martinez said, and you could almost hear the smile in his voice. “Your tests came back clear. There are no signs of cancer.”

A wave of relief washed over you, and you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Thank you, Dr. Martinez. Thank you so much.”

“You’ve been through a lot, Y/N. Take this time to recover and enjoy your life. We’ll continue with regular check-ups, but for now, celebrate this victory.”

“I will. Thank you again.”

You ended the call and stood there for a moment, letting the news sink in. You were cancer-free.

You didn’t know why, but you burst out laughing. After six months, you were finally free.

After taking your order, Aitana quickly instructed Mapi to take the two machas to the table and wait for them. Then she rushed outside to check up on you. You had just finished your phone call.

“Cari, is everything okay?”

“I’m cancer-free.”

Her eyes widened. “You are not joking, are you?” You shook your head.

“We are done, Tani.” She quickly wrapped you in an embrace, lifting you up in the air, making you giggle.

“You don’t know how happy it makes me!” She put you down, still hugging you, placing her forehead on your shoulder. You felt her shaking, so you gently pushed her away to look at her. It was the first time you had actually seen her cry.

“Don’t cry, meu amor. We did it.” You wiped her tears with your thumbs.

“They are happy tears. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“I love you, Tani. Today. Tomorrow.”

“The day after tomorrow. And all the days after that.” She finished the sentence for you.

You hugged her once again and then went inside the coffee shop, sitting next to your girlfriend. She wouldn’t take her eyes off you, giving you a lovesick look that made her teammates give her a disgusted look.

“Stop it, Aitana.” You poked your finger in her ear, making her snap out of her daze.

“Sorry. I’m just happy.”

“We just got some good news, and Aitana can’t act like a normal functioning adult.” You teased her. “I’m officially cancer-free.”

“Oh my god! I’m so happy for you!” Frido rounded the table to hug you, spurring the others to do the same thing.

You stayed with them for about another ten minutes before you remembered that you had to tell Ciro about the news, so Aitana offered to bring you home.

As soon as you saw Ciro and told him the news, he brought you in a big bear hug and didn’t let you go until he spurred Aitana to join the hug.

-

The next few weeks ahead, you started having more energy. You had lost a lot of weight when you had cancer, so with the advice of the doctor, you started going to the gym.

At first, you went with Eva, but then you figured out that you two didn’t work well as ‘gym bros’. So you tried going with Aitana, thinking that since she was already fit, she would give you motivation to push yourself. That didn’t work either.

Seeing your girlfriend with just a sports bra and some Nike shorts did things to you that wouldn’t make you focus. You thought about those thighs and shoulders way too much. Finding some excuse, you then told Aitana that you didn’t want to go to the gym with her anymore. She was sad, but after some coaxing, which meant a lot of kisses, she eventually agreed to help find someone else.

You were out for drinks with Aitana’s teammates when you were secretly having a cigarette with Alexia, and this topic surfaced.

"So I am trying to find someone to go to the gym with," you explained, taking a drag from your cigarette. “My best friend just goes to the gym to talk with people, so I tried with Aitana-”

“Never go to the gym with your girlfriend, you just don’t focus. I learned that the hard way.” She explained with a sheepish smile, making you nod in agreement. “Besides all that, I’m glad that you can get back to your normal life. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, Reina. It means a lot coming from you.” You nudged her teasingly, earning an eye roll from her.

“I might know someone who would love to go to the gym with you. She’s not a footballer, nor into any other sport.”

Intrigued, you leaned in closer. "Oh? Who?”

“Olga, my girlfriend. She loves meeting new people and her gym buddy just moved out. If you want, I can ask her.” You could see Alexia’s eyes sparkle when she talked about Olga. You wondered if you did the same thing when you talked about your Tani. Spoiler alert: You did.

“If it’s not a problem for you, I would love to.”

“Well, she should be here any moment. I’ll ask her when she arrives.”

As you and Alexia continued to chat, you felt a mix of excitement and relief. Finding the right gym partner was crucial for keeping your motivation high and ensuring you stayed on track with your fitness goals.

Just as you were about to take another drag from your cigarette, you saw Alexia's face light up. "Oh, there she is!" she exclaimed, waving enthusiastically.

You turned to see a woman approaching, her warm smile immediately putting you at ease. "Olga, this is my friend, Y/n, and also Aitana’s girlfriend." Alexia introduced you. "We were just talking about how you're looking for a new gym buddy."

Olga's smile widened. “Ale told me a lot about you!”

“Good things I hope.”

“Besides the fact that you both only smoke when the other one is around, she’s been saying only good stuff.” You hid your face in embarrassment, tossing the cigarette away with embarrassed.

"Hey, it's a social thing," Alexia said, trying to laugh it off.

Olga chuckled. “It’s not good for you, but you my girl, are one stubborn woman, so I won’t tell you what to do.” She said exasperated, they looked so cute, like a married couple almost. “So, do you want a gym buddy?” She turned to you again.

"Yeah, if you are up to it. I’m kinda out of shape, so I don’t want to stop you from having a good work out,” you replied.

“Don’t worry about it, Ale told me about your situation and I'm happy to help. We'll take it at your pace and make sure you get back into shape without overdoing it," Olga reassured you with a warm smile.

"Thanks, Olga. I really appreciate it," you said, feeling more at ease. "When do you usually go to the gym?"

"I usually go in the mornings, but I can be flexible. How about we start tomorrow morning and see how it goes?" Olga suggested.

"Sounds perfect," you agreed, feeling a surge of motivation.

-

The next day when you came back from the gym, you decided to go to Aitana’s house, since it was one of the few off days she had.

She was sitting on the couch intently reading a book when you entered her home with the pair of keys she had given you a couple of weeks before. As soon as she saw you enter, she put away her book and walked up to you, greeting you with a kiss.

“Hi, Cari, how was the gym?”

You huffed and sat down on the couch, waiting for her to join you. “I didn’t know that Olga was that shredded?! She looks like she goes to the gym every day!”

“I thought you knew that,” Aitana said, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I didn’t know! I found out later. By the way, she’s so nice and positive, but it’s so frustrating doing exercises with her! We were doing some arm exercises, and when we were done, she started to flex her arms and spurred me on to do it too. Her arms were so muscly, but when I did it: MY ARMS WERE JUST FLAT.” You pulled up your sleeve and showed her, your bicep almost non-existent.

Aitana burst out laughing. You gave her a glare while crossing your arms and pouting, which only made her laugh harder.

She eventually stopped laughing and tried to turn serious, but a playful smile still lingered on her lips. She maneuvered your body to make you sit on her lap. “In fact, I happen to love your flat arms. They might not fend off any enemies, but I do love them, just like I love every part of you. And you’ve lost a lot of mass in these months. It’s okay to feel a little weak, ya know.”

You sighed, leaning into her. “I know, I know. It’s just frustrating sometimes.”

Aitana kissed your temple. “You’re doing amazing, and I’m so proud of you. Remember, it’s not about how you look but how far you’ve come and where you’re going. You're taking back your life in your own hands, and that should be your biggest priority right now.”

“I know, I know.”

“But if you don’t like going to the gym with her, you can still come with me. I still don’t know why you don’t want to.”

You blush lightly, making Aitana turn her head curiously. “I don’t want to go to the gym with you.”

“Do I make you feel uncomfortable?”

“No no, you could never. You are always so focused and let’s just say that you distract me.” You whispered the last part embarrassed.

Aitana raised an eyebrow, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. "Oh, I distract you, do I?" she teased, clearly enjoying your discomfort.

You buried your face in her shoulder, muttering, "Yes, okay? You're too attractive, and it’s impossible to focus on anything else. Do you like hearing that?”

She laughed softly, stroking your hair. “Oh, I love it! Well, I can't help being irresistibly distracting. And you’ve never seen me naked…”

“Aren’t we cocky this afternoon?”

Aitana laughed again, a warm sound that made your heart flutter. “Maybe a little,” she admitted, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “But I can’t help it if my girlfriend finds me irresistible.”

You raise your eyebrow, “Well then I’ll let you in on a small secret.” You began kissing her neck where you knew she loved it, “When my woman gets too cocky, I like to put her back into her place.”

Aitana's eyes sparkled with curiosity and mischief, her smile never fading. "And how do you plan to do that?" she asked, her voice a playful challenge.

You stopped kissing her neck and looked into her eyes, a smirk playing on your lips. "Well, I have my ways," you said, your tone teasing. "But it usually starts with making sure she's completely focused on me.” You placed a finger under her chin and slightly lift her head to look at you.

“And when I have her full attention, I’d want to kiss her until I know that she doesn’t think she’s in control anymore.” She smirked not fully believing what you were telling her. “By the time I’m done with you, you’ll never wear that cocky grin ever again.”

You pressed your lips onto hers into a passionate kiss. As the seconds went by, the kiss became more impatient and sloppy. Her hands went inside your shirt, feeling your skin in an attempt to make you get even closer to her. You could feel that she was getting lost in the moment, so you immediately stopped, biting her lower lip in the process. She had her eyes still closed, then she blocked twice screeching up her nose. “Why did you stop?”

You stood up from her lap and offered your hand. She took it, and you led her to her bedroom. You began to kiss her once again, aching slow, trying to appreciate every second with her, as if she would disappear the next second.

You grabbed the hems of her shirt, trying to take it off from her. You reached her chest level, when she stopped you.

“Wait. Wait, Cari.” You removed yourself from her, giving her a questioning look. “Cari, are you sure you want to do this? It’s a big deal.” You nodded, smiling that she took a moment just to double-check if you were ready.

“I’m sure, Tani.” She took her shirt off then proceeded to sit on the bed, pulling you to her. She helped you take off your shirt and you immediately felt her hands on your naked waist, caressing soothingly your skin, she then quickly placed an affectionate kiss on the middle of your chest, then lifted her head up to look at you.

“You are so beautiful. I can’t believe how I got so lucky with you.”

“I’m the lucky one.” You pushed her on the bed, beginning to kiss her on the lips at first. Then you moved to her neck, taking your sweet time to feel each and every moan she would grant you, satisfied you began to trace a line of kisses in the middle of her chest to her toned stomach.

As you reached the hem of her sweatpants, you lifted your head to look at her, silently asking her for consent, which she immediately granted. You quickly took them off leaving two sweet kisses on each thigh before she nudged you to get on her level, bringing you into another searing kiss.

She unexpectedly flipped you over, placing her right thigh in between your legs, eliciting a silent moan from you as she increased the pressure of her leg on your center. You felt as if you had too many layers of clothes between the two of you, so you took matters into your own accords and lifted your pants off yourself. By doing that, you quickly moved slightly on your side, eliciting a curious look from Aitana.

You were about to lie down again on your back when she stopped you, holding you in place and focusing on your butt. “Is this the famous third tattoo you weren’t so keen on telling me about?” She placed a kiss on top of it before helping you to lie back down.

“A little heart,” you said innocently.

“Don’t act all innocent. There's nothing innocent about you, especially when you're barely clothed and silently begging me to touch you.”

“Stop talking dirty and put those words into action.” You impatiently brought her lips to yours, feeling the smirk underlying her already swollen lips.

-

That morning, you woke up with a pleasant ache between your legs and an arm holding you down. Aitana probably sensed that you were awake because you felt her arm tighten around you, accompanied by a small contented moan.

“Bon dia, Cari. How are you feeling?” She finally spoke, her voice still raspy from sleep.

You opened your eyes and turned to your side to better look at her. “I feel amazing! Last night was…” You struggled to find the words to describe the experience. It was amazing. Aitana had taken care of you in a way that nobody ever had before. You hoped that she enjoyed it as much as you did.

“Last night was amazing, cari. You are just incredible. There’s nothing I would love more than to lay in bed with you all day, but I do have to leave for training in half an hour.”

You sighed loudly, feeling a pang of disappointment. Though you understood it was her job, you hated the fact that she didn’t have a fixed schedule and was always on the go. “And you, Cari, you start working again! How do you feel?”

“I’m a little nervous, but I’m so happy! It’s going to be like a really hard job, but I’m excited!”

“It’s the Templo del Sagrado Corazon de Jesus, right?”

“Yep, some students from Barcelona Uni will be there to help me out, so I’ll never hear the end of their incessant questions.”

“I think it’s cute. They look up to you, Cari.”

You couldn’t help but smile back, feeling a sense of accomplishment. “Yeah, I guess it’s kind of flattering.”

“You’ll be great. Returning to do what you love, it’s one of the best feelings ever. You’ll be great.” She reassured you.

You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Thanks for always believing in me.”

“Always,” she whispered, kissing you back gently. “Now, let’s make the most of the next thirty minutes.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around her. “I like the sound of that.”

The next half-hour passed in a blissful blur of kisses, laughter, and whispered words of love. When it was finally time for Aitana to leave for training, you felt a pang of sadness but also a surge of determination.

-

As you got ready for your first day back at work, you couldn’t help but feel a mix of nerves and excitement. The Templo del Sagrado Corazon de Jesus was a monumental project, and you were eager to dive back into your passion. You thought there wasn’t a better way to return to work.

As you made your way to the church, you noticed a house for sale. You felt drawn to it for some reason. It was a pretty normal house, with a big garden. You couldn’t help but picture yourself calling it home one day. You quickly pushed the thought aside, trying to focus on your job.

“Good morning, everyone,” you greeted, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your stomach. “I’m Y/N, and I’ll be guiding you through this restoration project. Let’s get started, shall we?”

The students gathered around, notebooks and tablets at the ready. You launched into an explanation of the project, detailing the history of the church and the specific techniques you’d be using to restore its intricate details. The students listened intently, occasionally jotting down notes or asking questions.

As the day progressed, you found yourself slipping back into your old rhythm. You felt at peace. After six months of hell, you were finally back to your old life, doing what you loved most. Thankfully, the students didn’t get in your way too much. Many of them were still afraid of touching any artwork for fear of ruining it, which was something you reassured them would go away with time. You remembered your uni days and how curious you were when you first started this job.

.

As the day drew to a close, you were both exhausted and exhilarated. Driving home along the familiar route to Aitana’s place, your gaze was once again drawn to that house.

It seemed there was an open day to showcase the property to potential buyers. Unsure if it was mere curiosity or something deeper, you felt compelled to pull over. Parking the car, you walked up the path to the house, a mix of excitement and apprehension swirling within you.

The open house was abuzz with activity; real estate agents engaged in conversation with prospective buyers, and families wandered through the rooms.

Stepping inside, you were immediately struck by the warmth and charm of the place. The living room boasted large windows that flooded the space with light, while the wooden floors exuded a cozy ambiance. You could envision yourself and Aitana unwinding here after a long day, perhaps even hosting dinners with friends.

A real estate agent approached you with a welcoming smile. “Hello! Are you interested in the house?”

“I’m just looking,” you replied, still taking in the details. “It’s a beautiful place.”

“It really is,” she agreed. “Would you like a tour?”

“Sure, why not,” you said, feeling more curious than ever.

The agent guided you through the house, highlighting its features and potential. The kitchen was spacious and modern, ideal for cooking together or entertaining guests. The bedrooms were well-appointed, and the master bedroom offered a picturesque view of the garden. There was even a small study that could double as a workspace, which caught your eye.

As you strolled through the garden, your mind raced with possibilities. Aitana could train here, and perhaps you could finally fulfill your dream of getting a dog.

“What do you think?” the agent inquired as you completed the tour.

“I think it’s a place where you can build a life,” you replied with a smile, still envisioning yourself there.

“The owners are an elderly couple; their children have families of their own now, and they’re looking to downsize. They’d be open to renting the property for a few years if you’re not ready to buy outright.”

“I’ll need to discuss it with my partner.”

“Take your time to think it over. The owners are discerning, but this is a rare opportunity. Properties like this don’t come around often in Barcelona, especially at this price.”

“I understand…”

The agent handed you a brochure with all the details. “Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or want to arrange another visit.”

You thanked her and left the house, your mind buzzing with possibilities. Driving back to Aitana’s place, you couldn’t wait to share the news with her and gauge her reaction. Perhaps it was time to start thinking about the future, to contemplate what life could look like once you fully recovered.

-

Upon arriving home, Aitana greeted you with a warm smile and open arms. “How was your day, Cari?”

“It was amazing,” you said, enveloping her in a hug. However, thoughts of the house lingered in your mind, and Aitana soon noticed your preoccupation.

“What’s on your mind, Cari? You have that look like you’re holding onto a secret.”

Blushing lightly, you took her hands. “I’d love to talk to you about something, but I think it’s better if we have dinner first.”

Aitana ordered takeout pizza while you set the table, and over dinner, you both shared highlights from your day, carefully omitting any mention of the house.

“Have you ever thought about changing places?” you asked, catching her off guard. She blinked, puzzled by the unexpected question. Closing her book, she pinned the page and considered your question. “Well, I suppose I’ve never had a reason to move out. Don’t you like it here?”

“I love your place, Tani, but after everything with my cancer, I’ve been thinking about the future, you know?” You broached the difficult conversation with caution.

Aitana’s expression softened as she sat up, giving you her full attention. “I’ve been thinking about it too. These past six months have really got me thinking about the road ahead for us.”

“We’ve only been together for six months. Do you think we’re moving too fast?”

“Maybe we are, but the intensity of our experiences in these months—most couples don’t experience that in a lifetime or years of being together. We just… fit, you know?”

“I do. I feel like we’re meant to be. Mi media naranja. Plus we’ve gone through worse, I think we can handle moving in together.” You spoke sweetly, taking her hands. “I saw this house while driving to work today. It had a big garden, and I could see us living there. It’s close to both our jobs and has plenty of space.”

“Was it for sale?”

“Yes, I went inside. I couldn’t resist. It felt like a place where we could truly build a life together. I can’t quite explain it.”

“I understand,” she said, nodding in agreement.

“It may sound silly, but I’d like for us to have a place together. We don't have to buy a home right away, we could rent it for a while until we’re sure. I know it’s a big step, but it feels right for us.”

“So, are you asking me to move in with you, Y/n Y/ln?” she teased.

“Yes, meu amor. You don’t have to give me an answer right away, but could you think about it?” You replied earnestly.

She leaped into your arms, causing you to fall back onto the couch as she showered you with excited kisses. “I’ve already thought about it, Y/N! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!”

Laughing, you held her close, feeling her enthusiasm infecting you. “Really? You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” she affirmed, pulling back to meet your gaze. “There’s no one else I’d rather do this with. I love you, Cari. Today. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. And all the days after that.”

“I love you too, Tani. Today. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. And all the days after that,” you echoed.

-

The next morning, before heading to work, you called the real estate agent to schedule a visit to the house. She mentioned that the owners would be there, which made you a bit nervous.

Throughout the day, you and Aitana exchanged excited messages, discussing the possibilities and envisioning your future together in the new home. Finally, the time came for the visit. You arrived first, your heart pounding with anticipation. Aitana arrived shortly after, her smile reassuring you as you walked in together.

As you toured the house, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of belonging. The owners, an older couple, shared stories of their own experiences and the happiness the house had brought them.

Leaving the house, you and Aitana agreed to give them a response by the end of the week. You explored other options, but none felt quite right. In the end, you both knew—the house with the garden, the rooms, the overall atmosphere—was meant to be yours. By the end of the week, you made the call, and when Aitana hung up with a wide smile, you knew your future together was just beginning.

“It’s ours,” she said, her eyes shining with excitement. “We’ll have to wait in the summer, but it’s ours Cari.”

-

It was the end of April, and you were secretly in England for the second leg of the Champions League semi final. Barcelona was set to face Chelsea, 1-0 down on aggregate.

Aitana had been furious after the first leg; losing at home was something she despised. She couldn’t sleep that night, replaying the game over and over, until you finally had to snatch the TV remote from her grasp. Her mind was flooded with what-ifs, and she took the blame for everything.

Convincing her otherwise had been a struggle, but after a heated argument, you managed to help her see that the burden didn’t fall solely on her shoulders. She finally fell asleep, and the next day she woke up with a renewed sense of determination and confidence, ready to give her all in the next leg.

Initially, you told her you couldn’t come to the game because of work—the church you were restoring had been more demanding than you anticipated. However, with the help of a friend, you managed to finish the job earlier than expected and make your way to England. You wanted your presence to be a surprise.

You arrived at the stadium early, your heart racing with excitement and nerves. The atmosphere was electric, the fans buzzing with anticipation. You found your seat among the Barcelona supporters with Eva, hoping to blend in and not draw attention to yourself.

As the players warmed up on the field, you spotted Aitana. She looked focused, every bit the determined athlete ready to make a comeback. Your heart swelled with pride and love as you watched her.

When the match started, you were on the edge of your seat. Every pass, every tackle, every shot at goal had you holding your breath. Barcelona was playing with a fire you hadn’t seen in a while, and Aitana was at the heart of it all, directing play, making key passes, and encouraging her teammates.

Then, before halftime, Barcelona equalized on aggregate with with Aitana’s goal. She celebrated the goal by kissing the wrist in which she had your bracelet on, making your heart skip a beat, Eva teased you endlessly when she saw your expression full of pride and love.

The roar from the fans was deafening, and you couldn’t help but join in the celebration. You saw Aitana glance up at the stands, her eyes scanning the crowd, and for a brief moment, you thought she might spot you. But she quickly refocused on the game.

The second half was even harder for Barcelona, thankfully they were able to seal the game with Rölfo’s penalty.

You did have a jump scare, when they took off Aitana, and she acted like she needed a stretcher. You began to worry as you thought that she got injured, but then you saw her run to give a high five to Alexia, making you chuckle lightly. You loved that girl so much.

When the final whistle blew, you quickly ran to where the fans were asking for the autograph near the pitch, patiently waiting for Aitana to round the Barcelona part of the stadium thanking the fans.

As soon as she reached you, her face lit up with one of her biggest smiles as she sprinted over.

“Can I have an autograph??? I’m your biggest fan!” you begged playfully as she helped you climb over the bleachers onto the pitch. “I don’t think I should be inside the pitch,” you chuckled.

She enveloped you in a big hug. “I don’t care. How are you here! I thought you were working!” she said happily.

“Surprise!” She hugged you once again, lifting you off the ground.

You turned around, showing her the jersey you wore with Alexia’s number on it. “You like this new jersey?” you teased playfully.

Aitana's eyes widened in mock horror as she saw the name and number on your jersey. "Alexia? Really?" she laughed, shaking her head.

"What can I say? She's pretty great," you teased back, grinning.

Aitana put you down. “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for this,” she told you, feigning disgust.

“Come on, Tani! You know I love you, meu amor,” you said, covering your mouth, not wanting anyone from the stadium to lip-read your conversation. She wouldn’t budge, still giving you an offended look. “I’ll have a lifetime to make you forgive me.”

“You better start now.”

Your presence on the pitch became known pretty quickly. After you finished your conversation with Aitana, still offended, Mapi and Ingrid ran over to you, giving you a hug.

“Hey Y/n, I didn’t know you were coming!”

“I wanted to surprise my girl,” you said affectionately, turning to Aitana.

“You did,” she interjected, still bothered. You knew it was a ruse, but you still found it amusing to see her bothered like this.

Mapi and Ingrid turned to Aitana, looking confused at her tone. You turned your back, making them see the name on the jersey. They burst out laughing.

“How to break Aitana’s heart,” Ingrid giggled.

Aitana rolled her eyes dramatically, though a smile tugged at her lips. "You two are no help," she said, giving Ingrid and Mapi a playful glare.

"Hey, we’re just here to enjoy the show," Mapi replied, still laughing. "But seriously, it's good to see you, Y/N."

"Good to see you too," you replied warmly. "And congratulations on the win, all of you. You played incredibly."

As more teammates joined the celebration, you noticed Alexia approaching, a knowing smile on her face. "Nice jersey," she said, winking at Aitana.

Aitana groaned but couldn't help but laugh. "Alright, alright, I can’t be mad at you for so long," she conceded, pulling you close again. "But you're making it up to me tonight."

"Deal," you agreed, kissing her cheek.

-

As you waited for Aitana to finish her post-match duties, you met up with your gym buddy, aka Olga, who was waiting for Alexia. You took off your shirt, leaving you with just Aitana’s Barça shirt, and gave it to her.

“Thank you for lending me the shirt. Aitana’s expression was priceless.”

“No problem. I should do the same thing with Alexia!” She raised her eyebrow playfully.

“She would break up with you. My Aitana is the jealous type but she just gets mad, she doesn’t do anything about it. You can rile her up as much as you want. Alexia, on the other hand, I don’t think you can.”

“Yeah, but her face would be priceless!”

Aitana and Alexia appeared out of thin air. “You two are plotting something, I know that,” Alexia chuckled.

“I was just catching up with my gym buddy!” you said innocently, turning your back to show Aitana the jersey you had on.

“I quite like this jersey better,” Aitana said, hugging your waist and giving you a kiss on the cheek. “Are you ready to leave?” You nodded, then proceeded to say your final goodbyes to Alexia and Olga and left with Aitana to your hotel room, which unfortunately was in another hotel, meaning Aitana would have to leave earlier in the morning.

“Are you ready to make it up to me?” She said between kisses as you entered your hotel room.

“Maybe was my plan all along.” You smirked mischievously.

“You are such a bad girl. Riling me up just to have your way with me.”

“I just can’t help myself. You are just so hot. But don’t worry, I’ll be your good girl tonight.”

“Never. You know how much I like it when you act bad.”

You chuckled. “Take off your shirt and lay on the bed.” You instructed her, while she did exactly what you told her to.

-

May was the busiest month for Aitana, with two finals in two weeks. You attended all of her games, cheering the loudest whenever she scored a goal.

During the Champions League final, you were the most anxious person in the stadium. You decided to go to the game with Olga, wearing one of Aitana's jerseys. Knowing how much she cared about winning this game against Lyon, given their past matches, made you extremely nervous.

As you and Olga found your seats, you could feel the electric atmosphere in the stadium. The roar of the crowd, the sea of colors, and the anticipation hanging in the air were almost overwhelming. You glanced at Olga, who seemed to be handling the nerves better than you.

“Don’t worry, they’ve got this,” Olga said, giving you a reassuring pat on the back.

“I know, I just... I really want this for her,” you replied, your eyes scanning the pitch as the players warmed up.

The match kicked off with a ferocity that had you on the edge of your seat from the start. Lyon came out strong, and the tension was palpable. Every tackle, every pass, every shot had your heart racing. You cheered, you screamed, you held your breath with every close call.

Aitana was everywhere on the pitch, her determination and skill on full display. You watched her every move, feeling an immense sense of pride mixed with anxiety.

Even though Barcelona was dominating, in the first half there were no goals.

Everything changed, though, in the 63rd minute of the game. Aitana scored, putting her team up by one. As soon as you saw the ball inside the net, you screamed your lungs out, tears welling up in your eyes from the pride and joy you were feeling, especially when she kissed her bracelet and pointed at you in the stands.

As the minutes ticked down, Barcelona managed to hold onto their lead, even scoring an additional goal, courtesy of Alexia. And this time it was Olga who got emotional. Finally, the final whistle blew, signaling their victory.

The stadium erupted in cheers, and you felt an overwhelming wave of relief and happiness wash over you. You watched as Aitana and her teammates celebrated on the pitch, their faces alight with joy and triumph.

You made your way down to the edge of the stands, eager to share this moment with her. When she finally spotted you, her eyes lit up, and she ran over, pulling you into a tight embrace.

“We did it!” she exclaimed, her voice filled with emotion.

“You were incredible, Tani,” you said, holding her close. “I’m so proud of you.”

She quickly ran back for the medal ceremony, as you never took your eyes off her the entire time, until she finally came back to you. She helped you onto the pitch and gave you a bone-crushing hug.

“I’m so happy you are here!” She took off her medal and placed it around your neck. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

You hugged her again and whispered. “You would have.” You subtly kissed her neck, “My girl.” You said proudly.

Aitana beamed, her happiness radiating from her. “This is just the beginning for us, you know.”

“I know,” you replied, holding her tightly. “And I can’t wait to see what’s next.”

The team began to gather around, pulling Aitana into their celebrations, and you watched with pride as she celebrated her victory with the club of her life. You could see the immense respect and love her teammates had for her, and it made you love her even more.

As the night went on and the celebrations continued at a club, you and Aitana found moments to steal away together, sharing kisses and quiet words amidst the chaos. It was a night of pure joy. She insisted on taking pictures with you and the trophy, and she still refused her medal when you tried to place it around her neck, claiming that you were also part of the victory.

-

When you returned to Barcelona, you sadly had to see her leave again for the national team.

“We don’t even have time to celebrate before you already have to leave!” you said sadly as she packed her stuff.

“I know, Cari. I don’t want to go either, but I have to. Who knows? Maybe I’ll fake an injury so I can get back to you earlier,” she joked.

“You would never.” You giggled as she gave you a goodbye kiss and left.

-

The thing was, it was better that she didn’t joke about having a fake injury because not even a week after she left for Madrid, she came back to you on crutches.

You were already busy moving your stuff into your new home, wanting to surprise Aitana with everything ready before she came back from national duty.

You both decided to rent the house until you were sure about buying it. Her injury complicated things, though.

You juggled secretly bringing her stuff and yours into your new home without her discovering your plans and taking care of her.

She was in physiotherapy when you finally finished everything up. You still had to fix some stuff and bring more of Aitana’s belongings home, but you were finally able to surprise her, even though something was still missing. Fortunately, you fixed it before you had to pick up Aitana from physiotherapy. Everything was finally ready.

You drove to the Barcelona training grounds, waiting for Aitana in the parking lot. She greeted you with a kiss and then you drove toward your new rented home.

“Wait, where are we going?” she quickly realized that it wasn’t your usual route but toward her old home.

“It’s a surprise,” you said, grinning.

She looked at you suspiciously but didn’t press further. As you approached the new house, you asked her excitedly to place a blindfold on her eyes, warning her not to peak. As soon as you pulled into the driveway, you rounded the car and opened the car door for her. You dragged her excitedly inside the house and took off her blindfold.

The living room was warmly lit, and her eyes widened as she took in the sight of all your belongings neatly arranged.

“Welcome home, Tani,” you said softly.

She looked around, her eyes filling with tears. “You did all this?”

“These past months you have been my rock, helping me when I was sick, so when we decided to move in together I wanted to surprise you.”

Aitana hugged you tightly, still slightly limping from her injury. “I love it. I love you. This is perfect.”

“I’m glad you like it, I was worried I might have overstepped by taking some of your stuff here.” Aitana pulled back slightly, shaking her head with a smile. “You could never overstep. This is amazing. You’ve thought of everything.”

You grinned, relieved. “Come on, there’s more to see.”

You guided her through the house, showing her the cozy bedroom, the spacious kitchen, and the backyard with the garden you had talked about. Her eyes sparkled with each new discovery, and she kept squeezing your hand in gratitude and love.

“You even got my favorite coffee mug,” she said, spotting it on the kitchen counter.

As you led her back to the living room, she sat down carefully on the couch, still adjusting to her crutches. “I can’t believe you did all this while taking care of me and working. You’re incredible.”

“There is another surprise.” You couldn’t help but smile excited.

“I don’t think that there is something that could top this.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure.” You smirked playfully. “Stay here.”

You quickly walked inside one of the rooms of your new home and excitedly returned holding a huge puppy, a Bernese mountain dog to be exact.

Aitana’s eyes widened in pure delight as she saw the fluffy, adorable puppy in your arms. “Oh my god, Y/N! You didn’t!”

“I did!” You handed her the puppy, as it began licking all over her face, making her giggle childishly. “Hi there, puppy,” she cooed, stroking the puppy’s soft fur. “You’re so beautiful.”

The puppy wagged its tail enthusiastically, she sat down on the floor playing with it. You joined her enthusiastically as you both started laughing at the clumsy small dog, coming up with names for it.

-

Later, as the puppy curled up between you on the couch, Aitana leaned her head on your shoulder and sighed contentedly. “This is perfect, Y/N. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

You kissed her forehead gently. “I love you, Aitana. Today. Tomorrow. The day after tomorrow. And all the days after that. I can’t wait to see where the future will take us.

She looked up at you, her eyes filled with love. “I love you too, Cari. More than anything. Here’s to our future, our new home, and our little family.”

The puppy let out a soft, contented sigh, settling deeper into the cushions between you. You both giggled softly.

You turned to Aitana, with a soft smile expressing all your love for her. “I’m really glad you hit my car nine months ago.”

“I’m glad I did too.”

[lowtaperfeyd]

A Scintilla of Excitement (Chapter 1)

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Mentat!reader

author's note: This is the first chapter of the mentat series I am writing! I'm so excited for you to see what else I've come up with for this :D (It has now taken the spot for longest thing I've written.) Also go check out my beta-reader @zzleeper!!!!

warnings: house harkonnen, death, mentions of knives,

wc: 1529

You sat on the cold, metal seat of the ornithopter the Harkonnens sent to come and get you from the heighlinder. The scraping of metal startled you when they screeched unexpectedly.

 How tragic, you thought, my final moments will take place in a world with no normal sun. And no normal sons either. 

The entire two day trip on the heighliner was not so bad. You were allowed to wander the empty ship corridors and explore even up to the staff decks. The only part that was scary were the ‘servants’ aboard the ship. Their bald heads, that seemed to engulf any light that shined on them, made you feel uneasy. 

If this is how I feel when I see people like this, I wonder how I’ll feel when I see the baron. 

They always seemed to look at you as if you were an alien. Which I supposed you were. The color to your skin that made you look more alive than them. It probably scared them just as much as it scared you. 

As you continued to sit there in the cockpit, thinking about the heighliner, you fiddled with your fingers and did not sit fully still. 

“We have a nervous one I see!” Shouted a voice from the front of the cockpit where the pilot was. A voice that had a distinct inflection that just screamed Harkonnen, even if the owner of the voice was whispering, 

“Don’t worry the baron doesn’t play with his food.” The pilot laughed out, “But the Na-Baron, oh boy watch yourself around him!” 

As you sat there, mildly disturbed at what you just heard, the pilot went on and on about the things he had seen the Na-Baron do. Almost like he was proud of him,

“There was this one time Na-Baron took a butter knife off the table and stabbed one of his uncle’s advisors because he didn’t agree with what he was saying!” He exclaimed, “One of my friends was there, he barely survived with just one eye left. Told me all about the story.” 

“That's,” you swallowed so as to not hurl at what you heard, “really something…” 

FACT: HARKONNENS AND THE PEOPLE OF THE PLANET, IN GENERAL, ARE USED TO THIS VIOLENCE AND ENJOY IT. 

INFERENCE: DON'T ACT LIKE YOU HATE THOSE THINGS, BE VERY NEUTRAL ON IT.

HYPOTHESIS: IF YOU CAN ACT LIKE YOU FEEL INDIFFERENT ABOUT THESE THINGS MAYBE THEY'LL PUT IN A GOOD RECOMMENDATION TO KAITAIN. 

“It’s incredible, ” The pilot responded, “But the real question is, why does the baron need another Mentat?”

“Another good question is where’s the store that doesn’t sell chatty pilots?”(Y/N) retorted, feeling a little sick and tired from the traveling and what they had just heard.  

The snap seemed to shut him up just long enough before you landed on Giedi Prime. 

“About an hour before we land on the surface, Mentat.” The same pilot muttered in annoyance. 

Actually, 1 hour, 2 minutes, and 23 seconds. But who's counting or keeping track? Definitely not you. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the heighliner ramp went down, it allowed you to fully see the polluted land around Geidi Prime. The black sun changed the red, metallic bracelet you were wearing to a dark and shiny gray, almost sliver, instead of its normal vibrance. You saw the guards and their multitude of weapons and dark armor. 

If they were standing inside, that would be black. You thought, but that isn’t a surprising detail.

“Are you ready to walk down, Mentat?” one of the other workers on the heighliner asked.

“Yes.” You responded courteously, because you had a pretty good idea of what would happen if you disrespected someone with all the guards and important people around. 

The ramp underneath your feet was extremely slippery and steep and forced you to take very slow and precise steps to reach the end. At the rate I am moving I’ll get to the end after the sun goes down. You eventually got to the end of the ramp. But, you only looked at your feet the entire time. Once you looked up you saw a man with a black hood and robes, as well as the lip tattoo you had. 

That’s Piter de Vries. 

You took the final ten steps to walk to him. As you walked you noticed him look you up and down in an arrogant and almost disgusted manner. 

You put your hand out waiting for him to shake your hand. As you did this you said, “I’m (Y/N) (L/N), the new Mentat.”

Instead of him talking your hand he just continued to look up and down. Most likely reviewing the clothes you were wearing and the way you held yourself. Awkwardly, you put your hand down back to your side. 

“Well your arrival in the ornithopter was on time. But, the way you traversed down to the ground was quite untimely.” He remarked, “It must be quite exciting for you to have your first assignment.” He added sarcastically. 

Just a scintilla of excitement, it would be more if I was not here. 

“But, there is no time for talking,” he exhaled, “I can’t have you seeing the baron in such attire.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You looked around at the small bedroom you were given. The room had a hospital type of antiseptic-ness. The walls were bare besides small vertical groves and bolts into the walls holding things together. There was a little gray desk that had shelves that were indented into the walls above it. Beside your desk, was the little chest of belongings that were sent before you had departed from Tleilax. 

I’ll unpack that before I go to bed tonight. 

You turned toward your bed, a relatively small bed with dark covers and pillows. On top of that was a black butcher paper package. On the front of it, in clear print was, TO THE MENTAT, (L/N). In the package was a set of black clothes that looked similar to the ones you see de Vries as well as other people wearing, except without the cloak. On top of the clothes was a note from de Vries himself. 

(L/N), I have taken the liberty of getting rid of all the unnecessary clothes in your trunk and replacing them with more suitable attire for a Mentat. In your closet, you’ll find more of the same kind in the package.

De Vries.

What an asshole.

Quickly, you walked over to your closet and sure enough when you opened it. It was like the same outfit had been cloned over and over again. Black shirt, black pants, and a shiny black belt. Three pairs of black, leather dress shoes were in there too. At the back of the closet, there was a small amount of colder weather wear. A couple of insulated black coats and cloaks. 

Unwillingly, you shed your bright clothes from the academy for a dreary uniform instead. The fabric of the shirt was silking and smooth, but the pants itched badly when it met your skin. 

Once you were done, you exited your room to see two, bald headed, slave girls standing outside of your room. 

“Why are you here?” You questioned. 

“We are here to take you to the baron. Under the order of Mentat De Vries.” The girl on the left said timidly. 

“Alright…” you whispered as you closed the door behind you. 

As you walked through the halls of the Harkonnen’s castle you saw portraits of past rulers who were equally as bald as the next. After four minutes of walking, you ended up in front of a heavily guarded door. From outside the room, you could hear the sounds of yelling, screams, and a thud against the wall.  

Remember, indifference, and then you’ll get your way. 

You nodded toward the guard, signaling to him you were ready to enter the room. Slowly, the guard opened the heavy, metal door with a slight grunt. Walking inside, you saw a long table that had chairs on either side of it and a huge spread of food on top of it. But, there was only one chair at the head. The Baron was sitting there enjoying the elegant feast on the table. 

For the baron… all that food. 

You walked past important officials and advisors to Baron Harkonnen sitting in the chairs. You noticed De Vries sitting right next to the baron and opposite two bald headed men. These men were dressed not like the slave or advisors, but men of higher standing. 

The baron’s nephews Count Glossu and Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Rabban. 

Beside De Vries, there was an empty seat. As you walked to sit in that seat, you noticed the younger man who was sitting opposite of you, the Na-Baron, eyeing you down and biting his lips at the same time. 

He probably picks the member of staff that gets eaten when a couple mess up. Is he imagining me fried or boiled?  

“I appear to be late, I’m sorry about that, my baron.” You apologized as you pulled the chair out and sat.  “Don’t be sorry, Mentat." The Na-Baron jested, "It’s not a good look for you.”

[13thdoctorposts]

Highlights from Jodie Whittaker’s Gold Coast Panel

Host

So have you got any stories from Attack the Block?

A.

Can I think of stories from attack the block?

I would say that when we were shooting it just as a little like genius of Joe Cornish.

He is an encyclopedia of films and television. And every single element of it is some kind of homage to something you’ve seen. One thing that was really clever is there is no accidental lighting, so the entire thing is set at night so that every single light is deliberate. This stuff or that, like the kids train, is like, every single element is a choice. And you can't say that for most things, because the sun will just appear sometimes, and the sun can take full credit for the lighting. But in that film, he chose every single element. And that's why I think it's such a great film, because it's detailed beyond belief.

Host

Thank you. Wow. Can I see that.

Q.

What's your favorite memory of playing The Doctor?

A.

My favorite memory? There's so many, I'll tell you what, I'll give you a moment that's relevant to something like this. One of the highlights of playing The Doctor actually happened to me at a con, and it was San Diego, and so it was before the show would come out.

We were filming, and I got invited to come to this kind of the cosplay show. And when I got there, I was like, a special guest. And because I was just feeling really confident, I was like, can we not announce me? Can I pretend I'm a model?

I came out in my costume, slowly walking down, and I thought I was gonna get to the end to do some big reveal. But I must have a very obvious walk, because people started to realize, and the really narcissistic part myself, absolutely loved it because I got such a big round of applause just for walking. So that was a really amazing moment.

Q.

My question is about one night. Your character Tess has tattoos. They're only shown in two scenes, one in the first episode and one in the last I was wondering if they were both shot together, even though characters in different places, at different times, and the system of putting those tattoos on, because there's quite a lot.

A.

Yes, it was. It was one of the most influential stage directions I've ever read of a character when that doesn't necessarily feature as a main part of the story. So my character Tess, in a Australian show called One Night, I’m very proud of it is covered in tattoos and every tattoo was a choice, and designed by the incredible designer and all the creatives. And so there's no accident. But the first time we did it, it took about 4 Hours and we stood like this for what is a very small scene as well.

And then the next scene, which is however many months later, I think we got it down to 3 Hours but it was still, it was a long time.

But it was such an amazing character choice, the writer, beautiful writing that gave me so much, but I didn't have to necessarily articulate what that was. It was just she gave me this armor to be able to play tests.

And that is when I started to read it, it's only a few scenes into the first ep, I was like, I'm playing that part. I'm absolutely playing that part. because I just thought that was such an incredible choice.

Q.

I was just wondering, in regards to Doctor Who, was there anyone that you wanted to like come and appear on the show alongside you, like an old companion?

A.

Ah, I suppose I was spoiled for companions. So I think with that, I was, I would have loved, oh, it's difficult before, before we got to the point where I met my master, who is played incredibly by Sasha, and I adored every single scene I was in with Sasha.

There was a part that was like, oh, wonder if I get to work with Michelle. I thought that would have been incredible. So if anyone's out there and they write episodes of Doctor Who, I think that might be a good one.

Q.

Hi, and why did you decide to become an actor? Oh, that's such a good question.

A

When I was probably a bit younger than you i watched a film called goonies and if you haven't seen it highly recommend it stood the test of time and it is such an amazing film and i think what it does is it celebrates the inner child's because as a kid. I watched it and thought, oh my gosh, they're going on this amazing adventure. But then as I got older, I realized that could be a job, and then I got to play the Doctor. So it really is a job that you get to play pretend in the most epic scale, and anything is possible. So I think that's what I wanted to continually feel, was that I could be my inner child till I'm 99.

Q.

my question was, I love seeing, you know, Thasmin play out on screen in Doctor Who. And I know that you and Mandip had a bit of involvement in making that happen. So I was wondering, could you, explain how we got that.

A.

No, no we didn’t, so I think just the fact that Chris obviously knows us and knows how much we love each other. Yeah no we had no influence on any of the story lines. Obviously, we had that, the characterization, and we fully, you know, believed in and loved the direction that our characters went in, and it played out perfectly for me in my head. That is absolutely my kind of dream ending of where I saw my doctor. And the to the point of regen was with that side by side with Mandip .And for those two characters as well, I thought it was beautifully played out, but it was all Chris Chibnall. So I can take no credit, which also the video in the cupboard during lockdown.

I think people were really generous and thought I'd written it, but I didn't write that. Chris wrote it and sent it to me and said, I think it'd be really brilliant if the doctor could maybe, you know, say something. And so that was him as well. So I love that. I keep getting all this credit there. But, but I absolutely adored where our story line went.

Q.

You have obviously played such a diverse range of characters, and I'm just really curious about your process when you sort of get the script and how you create them.

A.

Do you know what? I can't write at all, and I don't want to be a writer. And because it's not within my skill set. And I think because of that, my appreciation the next level, I think 90% of my job is generally always done, I’m so lucky to work on extraordinary scripts, and a lot of your hard work is there, like I was saying about, Emily (one night writer), with one night. This wonderful stage direction is she's covered in tattoos. But those kind of details are just the best. Sometimes an entire character can be given to you in a tiny stage direction, or in a use of punctuation. Something can be a dot, dot, dot, and it has a completely different meaning than an exclamation mark.

I think that, for me, is the absolute side point. Take what you can from the script, and then I've been looking at what the directors and cast do it’s a really collaborative effort My main thing is, I don't like to decide or even kind of go there on how I'm gonna do something before you say action. Because if I do, I'm just a bit cluttered, and I overthink it, and I wouldn't listen to you. So however you were doing it, my brains go, well, I'm gonna do it like this, and it doesn't work for me. So for me, I kind of, I need to be kind of completely unprepared to be prepared, that not even answer. I don't think I should teach a drama school. Basically, not everyone can teach. And I can't.

Q.

If you could be in any episode of Doctor Who that already come out to 13, which would you choose? And why? The ones that you haven’t already been in

A.

I am furious if no one's seen it I'm REALLY sorry I'm furious I MISSED an episode with spice girls i Am Sorry… But how did that happen when i wasn't IN it? spice of your life i devastated, I was like, I'm sorry. What? But it's only because It was so amazing. Sorry if that's a spoiler.

Q.

I just wanted to see if you could tell us a bit about your audition process for Doctor Who.

A.

So it was an interesting one because it's secretive from the second the words are spoken. And my initial meeting was what I thought was just a cup of tea with my name Chris, because we did Broadchurch, and we were doing the junket and he was in town. He doesn't live in London. So we met up and we were chatting, and he’d been announced as the show runner. And I said, please, can i be a baddie? And then that was when it was, can you keep a secret? Depends. And it was, would you like to audition to play The Doctor? Um…I'm sorry? (Laughs)

But then it was a lot. It was quite a few rounds. It was about three And some of it was my husband taped me when, you know, at like, 09:00 p.m., when my kids asleep, and not gonna come in the room and ruin it. And I got, like, iphone wires and had to defuse something.

And we did it. Most tapes I've ever done, I've been sat on a couch and you make sure it's like a really tight two shot there. So my I was running around with an iphone as I was jumping on a couch and then trying to do the gobbly guke. And I say that with up most respect. And it was so stressful. And then when I got it, they were the most fun. I was so scared of those scenes more than anything. And, that's always the most fun when the doctor's just fizzing and working out. So, so it was over months, and it was very secretive, but then I finally got it.

Q.

I was wondering about your doctor. Is there a facet or an aspect of the of your doctor that you wish you could have explored more?

A.

I don't know. That's a good question. Um.

Is the one you like me to have explored?… No, just because I feel as if there's a lot of versions of The Doctor that I really enjoyed. And I love it, particularly around The Timeless Child, where there was this kind of deep rooted rage that would come out in a kind of slightly spitty, you know, frustrated way I enjoyed playing the distance sometimes when i wasn't quite connecting with the people that i was with i enjoyed THOSE elements because i follow such a contradiction to the not a contradiction. Just such a journey away from the kind of energized, childlike version of The Doctor that I loved to play But can you answer that? What would you have like me to have done it?

I think the depth of the distant of the doctor, was amazing But I think that I would have liked to see a bit more, um, a bit more unhingedness.

Okay, so we'll get an episode of me and Michelle, because we're really unhinged.

Q.

You've done so many roles that have legit, ripped my heart out. when is this trauma gonna turn into a villain arc?

A.

Oh, I know. I keep saying that, so keep, I keep contradicting myself, because I get asked specially after Doctor Who, what is it that you want to do? And I was like, oh, you know, I'd really love to play, like, I'd love to some comedy, maybe, or explore a character that has a lot of darkness and potentially not very likable. And then, you know, wanna kind of steer clear, maybe of, like, drama. And then I did one night, time. And this other thing. It's very emotional, and I don't know why, but I kind of keep breaking my own rules.But I would love to explore a villain. I mean, that was my initial thing.I want to be a baddie.But I'm glad Chris didn't listen.

Q.

I'm a big fan of Attack the Block, and especially the horror sections of Doctor Who, and I was wondering, what was your approach, and how would you think about doing the, your characters different in that sort of horror setting compared to other genres?

A.

Oh, do you mean, like, how would I do it or if The Doctor was in more of a horror genre or if me as an actor got to be in that?

Both. But you as an actor?

I'm into horror. That's kind of, let me say, to reference. It's like, one might be a bit young for it, but there was a classic horror for me that came out when I was like, 16, and it was right at the beginning, of the Internet so being able to have this mystery, because now we're so used to information been given to us by the Internet.

But when I was 16, it was that there was this found footage of these guys in a wood And then I went see the film. I was like, this really happened, oh boy, which it's really, really happened. And now you can't really create that that kind of, like trickery in a way, during a press junket, because we know it's a film. But I that kind of horror that plays that doesn't give you too much, I don't wanna see everything chopped up. I'm just not into it I'm too much for whim. But the psychological horror of the when you hear it, but don't see it. Those are the kind of things that I think brilliant to play.

But then when we did have things like that, with the Dregs, and we were filmed in I was chasing me and once you were stuck in a cage, and every time it hit the railing, it was really loud. And I go, ahhhh… I know the doctor's probably braver okay you know I, don't know how i did it ha ha.

Q.

Some Doctors have had input into their outfit. Others have been told by they can't have that. How much input did you have into the outfit?

A.

Well, so I had a hugely collaborative experience with the costume designer, and it started from the second we met. We met in a bar that he recommended. And the surrounding wallpaper was this petrol blue which became the trousers. I had a photo that I sent to Chris when I was trying to trick him into giving me the part I sent him all these photo references. And it was a woman. It's a black and white picture. I Don't know where it's from. I don't know if it's fake, black and white, and it's modern or I don't know but it's someone walking with purpose short trouser, tshirt boots so to me all of that, the coat was very much collaborative with ray because I would say things And he came back with the design of the coat that was so perfect.

I Didn't want buttons because I felt like it was pointless. Of course, wanted pockets. I wanted a hood, but I wanted the colors to be representative. Because of my first episode, I wanted to transition from was space through to Earth, sky. So the entire lining on the inside is a dark blue, black for space. The exterior is a kind of like sky blue light color. But also the into the the Suffragette colors are inside the sleeves. And it has my pride stripes everywhere, and yellow braces because it's my favourite color. So the whole thing, the jewelry was collaborative with Alex Monroe. It was amazing. I think I take more credit for it than it was me, because i felt like I'd go oh i came up with that and then actually, when i look back on it it was drawings that ray had done. Very much you gave him A pebble and he created a statue out of it. It was amazing.

Q.

I just first wanna say thank you for making a very queer, coded doctor. I just wanna quickly ask, we've seen David tenant come back for the anniversary just past, and we've seen doctors come back in the past. Would you ever consider coming back again and putting back on the coat and the zonic of everything?

A.

Hundred percent. I would love to, and I really, if that's not, I would be really offended, because I would love it, and it'd be so amazing. And you just, you never wanna say goodbye to It is the the gift role forever. And I'm still, I'm gonna grieve it forever. But I suppose the feeling is that you don't have to necessarily let go, because, like you say, other doctors have come back. There was loads in my last ep, so there's no reason for me not to bob up somewhere. But I want to.

Q.

Did you take anything from like the set, all your costume?

A.

I've stolen it all. I've got my jump suit, the prison jump suit. And just as a little fun fact about costume, all of the dates are personal to me. So there's dates all the way down the side, and there's a lot of Gallifreyan you know, kind of design. But all of them are a meaningful date to me. So that was, that's the kind of joy thing you can put into your doctor. So I've got that, so I've got my costume and me and Mandip very clearly heard ‘that is a rap in the TARDIS’ So we heard that on the last day of filming and she had a hold on the console that was like this massive ball thing. I snapped off the tiny mini TARDIS that spun And then, we hear and we're gonna do some pickup shots in the TARDIS without any actors. So I think there was a bit of swift editing there, because I absolutely wasn’t my fault. I heard cut.

Q.

When it comes to Doctor Who, do you have a favorite doctor from any era?

A.

I got asked this the other day. I'm not saying, it's not saying you don't like the other ones. I got asked recently about classic, and so I said, Sylvester But you said any you didn't say classic. I'm gonna say, Jo Martin. The episode to shoot with her, and the moment when her doctor is revealed and the costume and the energy she bought was amazing. And so, Jo Martin, hahaha.

Q.

I was just wondering, were you interested in doing the Big Finish audios? And if so, what kind of story would you like?

A.

I don't know. I get ask all the time. And I don't know. I mean, hopefully, is this something I ask them? Do they ask me? Big Finish? Well, obviously, if it, then if I was gonna do it, I'd really wanna do it with Mandip, but I would love to, I mean, this is, what is this job? You know, I've not been the doctor now for two other doctors, and it's amazing that you still get to experience it and be a part of it. So if being a part of things like big finish, or any of you the… I suppose, departments?, but all those other things that celebrate Doctor Who I'd wanna be in them all.

Q.

It's such a loved program. Is it what you thought it would be playing the Doctor like?So you're the figurehead of that program. You know, is it what you thought it would be? in as big as you thought?

A.

I think it's, it's bigger and more magical than you can kind of ever describe, because it's as a new whovian as well. And I'd said to Chris in the process of audition, look, I've not seen loads of it. I've seen, you know, bits when I was a kid, but we didn't have it on those in house. But then also, I've got mates that have been in episodes. I've done those auditions and not got in, you know, things like that. And so it has a very unknown quantity about it. To me, I was very much walking into something and going, okay, what is this? And I think from the second you get on set, and the crew, the crew I worked with, had been working on the show for twelve years. It was such a magical family and to shoot it in Wales.

Wales is one of the most beautiful countries you can ever visit.

So to be there and to be in this ready made family of something that all the hard work's been done because all the other doctors build up this family , you just shouldn't lose it. And so then to have our journey and our story lines, and to then have this opportunity where we went out to press or we met fans, and to have the interaction and to speak to people, to see how much it's meant to them through their life, is so extraordinary, because for me And I can definitely say it and for Mandip as well, that it's our happiest time as actors. We've never been happier, and we knew when we were in it. Ah, this is this. It's just so nice, and there's just so much, just wonderful about it. And I think that needs forever. This is so easy to talk about, so easy to be in this room and do it because I wouldn't have to, I've never fake how much I love it. I loved it, but as a new whovian. And I'm like, oh, I get it. Hahaha. I one of a family then. Haha. That's it. I'm in.

Q.

Do you ever get nervous when you're playing The Doctor?

A.

I was nervous all the time. I know The most nervous, I think I've ever been on a set was in my first week of shoot in The Doctor. It was my hero speech at the end of episode one. So my very first day involved jumping between cranes. Mind you I’ve only ever run around and cried on most jobs. So jumping between cranes was a whole new thing. And on day two, I think it was my huge kind of realization of, I know who I am, I am the doctor, and saying that for the first time, and thinking, if you mess this up, there's still time to recast I've been here two days. So that was the most nerve racking.

And I think sometimes another time when I was nervous as well, we had Stephen Fry come in And I was a bit like, you might not remember me, but I was in St. Trinian's And we kind of had a scene in St. Trinian's, isn't it was, you know. And so him being on set, I was just so nervous, because I was just like, he's a legend to me. So this is very… I think if you're not scared and you haven't got the adrenaline of nerves, you're taking it for granted.

Q.

Who is your least favorite doctor?

A

There's nobody, the craziest answer. I haven't got one.

Q.

Did you ever think you would have had such the impact on the doctor who community?

A.

The thing that's such a joy for me playing the Doctor, the thing that I really quickly realized was that it. I adore this community, and I feel that everyone in the fandom should feel represented and what I feel really proud of with ours, which has nothing to do with me, like you saying about, when, you know, with me and Mandip had credit to that story, and we didn't in that way, but it was, that was the beautiful transition of this gorgeous journey that we'd been on. And I think that because it then resonated so powerfully to so many people, that is the all of a Christmas Day gift, because what you want is you want your work to, to speak to people, and you also wanna feel as if everyone feels seen. And I think that that's what I'm really, proud of.

Whenever I have these wonderful interactions with people, they say that the doctor means this or someone else's doctor means that for me, that very often is having that wonderful moment where someone feels like that storyline really spoke to them. And I think I can't take any credit for it because I didn't write it, but I loved being a part of it.

[takofukkatsumi]

I was incredibly bored at office today so I spent an hour reading through the tags under Polina Graf's illustrations and cover for Moist von Lipwig trilogy and here are some of my faves:

Yes, that's just 6 Moist descriptions. And all of them on point. Especially the "squirming ball of very alarmed gerbils" one. That's my son. I'm proud of him.

AND HE SHOULD BE ONE ACTUALLY

The otp of all time: girl who can kick ass + simp

(I'm not even joking, almost every one of my m/f otps are like this)

Truly the greatest mystery of the Disc

This just took me out for several minutes

[akillerbeforeyou]

anything (part two)

(kai anderson x fem!reader)

part two of my kai anderson fic based on @fear-is-truth 's bot!! took me a long time to write because I'm lazy, not proofread either

content warning: smut, male receiving oral, pretty tame stuff

word count: 1.1k

read part one here

"Now... get on your knees."

I take a half second to rub my now incredibly raw wrists and arms before tucking my hair behind my ear and straightening out my dress before getting onto my knees. I move slowly and delicately as I feel Kai's gaze upon me.

"Good, good girl. Tell me, do you know what you need to do to gain my forgiveness?"

"I do know, sir" 

I look up at him with doe eyes and a tear-stained face, the air around us is thick and the room is dimly lit. breathing deeply, my hands glide slowly up the side of his pants. I keep my movements deliberately slow and sensual, as Kai watches intently from above. He enjoyed this position of control, of dominance, but most of all, he enjoyed seeing me surrender to him in this way. to be his for the taking, to have me in the palm of his hand. 

Despite this being an act I've performed countless times before, feeling his eyes on me only made me feel more nervous, but that's what it's always been like with Kai. no matter how qualified I am in doing something he always manages to make me feel like I would be lost without his direction. 

I bit my lip as I removed his cock from the confines of his boxer. moving closer to his length, I could feel his strong hand come and grip the back of my head with force- tangling my previously styled hair. I wrapped my lips around his member before letting him guide the way with his hand. 

Kai's breath hitches and his hands continue gripping the back of my head as he forcefully guides me along. He lets out a deep and almost animalistic moan as I continue to bob my head back and forth. 

"That's right, you're doing perfect for me...."

He speaks softly, his voice filled with the kind of affection most other members of the cult wouldn't ever have the pleasure of hearing. the atmosphere had now completely changed- the warm feeling of his approval and love overtook the darkness and fear I had felt not even ten minutes prior. I continued with his length in my mouth, trying (as well as failing) not to gag. 

silently, he pushed my head down faster and faster on his shaft. I continued to go down, looking up at him as if to send a message without actually speaking aloud. from just the look in my eyes, I made my best attempt to display my gratitude towards him. to show him how thankful I was to have a man like him taking such good care of me. He looked down at me and it was easy to tell he also felt an overwhelming wave of affection for me. It felt good, knowing I was his. Knowing He had never been more proud of another girl.

"fuck baby, just like that"

 His words of encouragement pushed me further, working hard to show him the way I worshiped every fiber of his being. I could feel his grip become tighter. He has told me many times previously how much he enjoyed pushing me to my limits, and now I could feel that he was about to reach those limits himself. His breath became shallow and quickening; his heart beating at a thousand miles an hour.

his hand stroked my head, the loving action was the juxtaposition from how roughly he handled me beforehand encouraging me to do better, to serve him better. no one made me feel as safe as I did in his presence, just like how I made him feel powerful.

"That's good, my little sheep..."

I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat as the man I was so infatuated with vocally expressed his appreciation for me. I continued as I felt him tense up for one final time before he reached the peak of his ecstasy. 

Even though I could feel the bruises start to form on my knees, as well as a dull throbbing on my arms and legs from the rope burn, feeling Kai release inside my mouth made the entire experience worth it. I pulled away and swallowed harshly before getting up to become face-to-face with the man I loved. Kai was speechless, which was unusual for him. He was used to me doing whatever I could to please him, but this was a new level of satisfaction. He once told me my skill was 'unparalleled', normally I would chalk it up to him paying me lip service, just another one of his tactics to keep me by his side. However, this time there was no need to join pinkies, the look on his face was proof enough that he had been telling the truth. 

I took a second to stare longingly into his dark eyes before softly giggling and embracing him- burying my face in the crook of his neck, nuzzling up to his warm frame and inhaling deeply to take in his scent. as I hugged him, I could feel his heartbeat pounding against his chest. A look of pure satisfaction settled on his face as he returned my affection. his large arms wrap tightly around me and pull me in impossibly close. I shut my eyes tight, enjoying his presence for a beat before pulling away to admire his face. gazing up at him, holding his hands so as not to fully break contact. I batted my eyelashes as I timidly spoke my next words,

"Do you forgive me, divine ruler? have I proved how much you mean to me?" 

Kai smiled softly, his eyes filled with affection and pride. His voice was uncharacteristically sweet as he replied with the only answer I could ever want to hear

"You have proved your devotion to me. And for that, I forgive you."

I smiled up at him, thanking my lucky stars that he truly did have a soft spot for me, because if someone else in the cult had messed up this big, they would be as good as dead if the second kai found out. 

I looked up to see that Kai was still grinning, filled with pride for his little lamb. I couldn't help but feel the admiration and attraction he radiated when he looked at me. It was so simple to tell what was on his mind. while he wouldn't say it out loud and risk our established dynamic, i knew the truth. that no one else could compare, they never would be able to. No matter how many new girls he got, he would always love how I worshiped him.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Rose Recaps Rose Tinted Glasses It's been three months since I made a post thanking this community for being a place for me to share my love of BL.

And since then, every day I feel a little bit more comfortable here.

This place is so special to me for so many reasons and the fact that I found it is a small miracle. I was talking with my friend Neely about something BL related and they told me that they think I'm doing much better since I came here. So thanks again.

I was never a part of any online fandom. And before BL I never really felt like I was missing something. Maybe because I always found someone irl that I could freak out about whatever I was watching I never really felt the need to go look.

And the people here are exceptionally kind. Before, I made a point to never engage much online, except for certain support groups, because of the hate that sometimes exists in certain spaces. So I was very much surprised by the kind humans that exist in this bl fandom in this corner of the internet.

Also. There is some serious brilliant people here. Look giffing is not easy, it takes a long time, sometimes you spend so much time with a set only to hate it by the end and never posting it. And sometimes you post something and you're really proud and crickets. And sometimes you post it just so it doesn't go to waste and all of a sudden it explodes. It's all part of the magic.

I keep my sets pretty simple so I'm in awe of how some people make these beautiful art pieces with layers and colouring and typography. It's incredible and I applaud your creativity and patience.

Speaking of brilliance, I'm constantly in awe of the meta writers. That shit is not easy.

It takes way longer than we think, to make it neat and readable, adding gifs or shots to illustrated a point, sometimes wasting so much time finding the gif you want in the mess that is the gif search (I understand it now, cause yesterday I was on the hunt and it would've been quicker to make the damn gifs), and reviewing it before posting, changing it in the process, sometimes leaving it in drafts because the idea is not completed. I'm tired just thinking about this. I'm not able to do that. Sure I can talk for hours about this stuff but actually organize my ideas into a coherent point of view and writing it down. Nope. Not me. So bravo meta writers. I applaud you.

And of course all the people that share the stuff that really matters. Like the colours, the wardrobe, the places we see, the news about what's coming, language nuances, pictures of the pretty people in sometimes ridiculous or beautiful outfits, sometimes the pretty people before shirts were invented, and some of the funniest commentary I ever encountered.

I don't wanna single people out by tagging them because truly there are way too many. So I just want to thank some people that helped me navigate this place and made this time so enjoyable. First and foremost. @twig-tea You were the first person I talked to here and you were so kind and patient with me and my awkwardness and lack of knowledge of how this place works. She also writes great meta and is brilliant and everyone should be following her. @lurkingshan because of the Sahara-Sensei post that you tagged me in and made me feel so seen. @pharawee because IFYLITA just wouldn't have been the same without your sets. @respectthepetty because she helped get the colour coded subs right and she appreciates the bokeh in all its glory. @itsallaboutbl for screaming with me in portuguese. @mikuni14 Because she's been so incredible kind to me. @iguessitsjustme because of many reasons. And If I ever reblogged anything from you, consider yourself tagged in this post. All of you are amazing. And finally...

@blmpff for a lot but mostly for the most unexpected and incredible moment I experienced in this short time. The day that a bird took over my dash. Khun Feathers was such a treat and this masterpiece was the highlight of the day.

image by @blmpff It's been a wonderful year and I look forward to see what happens tomorrow. Wishing you all a happy new year!💜

[wonderwithin-us]

The dream you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Guess who got their phone broken 💗 but it's alright, it's all ok now & I noted down all I did in the past 3 days. My exams were a little bad, really bad to be completely honest, but it's alright, it was my first time giving exams this semester and I learnt what I need to do.

11th of July, 2023 💕

100 days of productivity — day 5, week 1

Economic exam preparation ~ I was so confused, there were so many concepts I'd missed because of my sickness but I tried YouTube and notes online. Procrastination really did get the best of me. I need to lessen my use of insta, seriously, I think Tumblr is more safe in that regard.

Microeconomics — Introduction & Consumer's Equilibrium

Statistics — Introduction & Organisation of Data

I need to work on my graphs, practice more and overall concepts of microeconomics. Also, clear up my concepts on stats. It's easy, but revision is needed.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

12th of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 6, week 1

Economics exam, yikes. Next exam was Psych the next day, so I was really nervous because I wanted to score well in it! ❣️

However.

Procrastination got to me, again. I studied for a while then thought it was too easy and I could do it at night, which, evidently, I couldn't.

I think rather than seeing easy topics as something to skip studying or take easy, I should put more effort in them so I can get them perfect and let it pay back to me.

What is Psychology? & Methods of Enquiry

I need to work on my basic concepts, esp in ch-2, and notes. Visual learning works best for me, and making my own notes is essential to my learning 📖

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

13th of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 7, week 1

Dear god, I think my psych exam was the most terrible. Which hurt me the most.

I really did lose hope after this. Not only did my incredibly unclear concepts and no notes not help, but the exam was extremely tough, the questions were really vague and I didn't understand them, and the worst of all, I literally forgot I had a whole section to do as objective even after rechecking. I lost 5 marks from that, maybe more.

That really hurt.

Tomm was English exam! I had seen what had happened in the last papers, so I really worked hard here.

I mostly focused on literature, since the creative writing formats were mostly very easy and took less than an hour.

Chapters with details are hard!

Anyways, I was really anxious until the end, and kept a few detailed chapters to the morning after to revise.

I really need to work on studying chapters I've missed before the exams come. It was so messy and frustrating trying to understand all these chapters with online notes and summaries, especially when the chapters are so open ended and the teacher is so strict with answers 💌

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

14 of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 8, week 2

WAR!!! IS!!! OVER!!!!

Final exam day, I was nervous but it was actually quite alright!

I absolutely need to work on my speed, though.

Also, I almost always exceeded the word limit in answers. So, I need to practice my creative writing more, not just in my head, but actually on paper, and be more perfectionist in my answers in literature.

I went out with my big brother to eat street food and it was all very lovely 🍝

I also wrote a lot of poetry, which I'm really quite proud of. I also received some really good news! 💕

New week! The first week was really, really overwhelming, and I don't want my future self to end up like that again. It was exhausting and hurtful and I want to get better.

In the end, I've got a lot of stuff to work with and I'm really proud of my self to survive all this! ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* I hope nothing but peace upon my future.

[itsscromp]

Could I ask for Miles with a reader who admires his art and wants lessons :3

Miles morales x reader

This has to be the coolest miles idea I have ever received, Miles and Y/n would be the dream team !!. Word count:592

You were the newest student at Brooklyn Visions Academy, Enrolled for your passion in the arts. To say you were nervous was the biggest understatement of your life. It was like everyone ticked in they're natural subject of choice, Almost you practically didn't belong.

But when you entered your art class, Your eyes trained on the notepad of a young man, Wow this looked amazing. He had a free seat next to him so you took the opportunity.

"Wow that looks good" You said softly and shyly.

"Thanks, dude, Say... you're new here right ??" He asked curiously.

All you could do was nod and look at the desk shyly. Before he playfully nudged you with his arm.

"Hey, it's ok man. I was like that when I first came here, It was nuts. I struggled to find my first class of the day almost all the time." He chuckled.

"What's your name anyway ??" He asked.

"Y/n L/n"

"I'm Miles Morales." He stuck his hand out and you shook it in return.

The two growing closer every single day, Sharing their new projects every single time. You and Miles combined your amazing artistic skills to create the best artwork you both possibly could've imagined.

"Hey, y/n I got an idea !!" Miles said excitedly.

"What's up ??" You looked up from your notepad.

"The assignment that we gotta work on for our finals, I got the best one yet !!" He smiled and pulled out some spray paint cans. You knew that whatever this idea was, It was gonna be amazing.

The two then went to a location that Miles has scouted and got permission to spray paint on and gave some cans to you.

"OK, So I had this idea where we combined the sketch that we did last week and then visually enhance it."

"A very good idea, But then i thought we do this"

You then began to draw on the sketchbook and combined the two ideas, but then finally adding the final touch.

"How about this ??"

"This is absolutely perfect y/n, This should get us A's for sure, Come on lets get too work."

You nodded and then began the work, It was all coming together amazingly and perfectly, But the two never forgot to have some fun in between it. Like when you "Accidentally" Sprayed his jeans.

"Oh y/n, Those were my favourite jeans !!"

"What ?? My hand slipped" You smirked and went back to it.

Miles smirked back and then snuck up behind you and then painted the back of your shirt.

"What the hell miles ??" You scoffed playfully.

"Tit for a tat they call it" He smirked devilishly and ruffled your head.

And then after about 4.5 hours, It was finished, It was perfect. The way your ideas and creative flows just combined and shine brightly.

"This is amazing miles, I love it" You smiled so brightly.

You then set up your phone camera and activate a timer, Rushing back and wrapping an arm around miles, Both smiling so brightly at the proud work that you have done. You actually did end up getting A's on your report cards.

"Look at us, New York's next Picasso" You fist-pumped the air.

"I could say Banksy but yet again we revealed our identity so that's out of the bag" He chuckled.

"This was the best thing I've ever done miles, I'm really glad I complimented your art" You smiled, Incredibly grateful for the friendship you built with him.

"Me too y/n, Me too"

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

[itsjaywalkers]

Hii

What would James’s do to help reg when he’s feeling dysphoric? (Could be boxer or oby- you decide:) )

/dysphoric trans guy in need of fluff

<33

hi angel!! sorry it took me a bit to get back to u, i always wait until i have some time + mental energy to reply to any asks about hcs

oby reg and boxer reg are quite different when it comes to dysphoria and how they deal with it + how much or how little they allow james to help so i'm gonna do both at the same time <333

fluffy-ish hcs coming right up !!

oby reg can be more?? emotional?? about his dysphoria. when he's just mildly annoyed by it, he usually just becomes uncomfy, but when it actually hits he unconsciously seeks comfort from others (as in . ppl he trusts/is very close to). it used to be sirius but now he also has james <3

this mean he quite enjoys cuddles!! not with a lot of skin on skin contact, bc that just kinda . triggers him more?? but he goes for like . big jumpers and comfy sweats and drags james to bed with him!! depending on his mood he prefers to be the big spoon or the small spoon, but the point is that he needs to be very close to james and james is more than happy to glue himself to reg

boxer reg however turns into himself?? he becomes quiet and distant and isn't always okay with physical contact

that's why boxer james resorts to words <3 he makes sure to remind him how handsome he is, how loved, how sexy he finds his facial hair (while trying to convince him to grow a moustache), how good he is at fucking him and how obsessed james is with his cock etc etc

with oby regulus there's also a lot of body worshipping!! not at first, bc like i said, and when his dysphoria is at its worst, reg avoids skin on skin contact as much as he can. but when he feels better about it, james spends hours kissing his naked body, whispering compliments and sweet nothings and paying attention to every single detail

this isn't really sexual at all, and more often than not, it just makes reg tear up in a good way bc he feels so !! incredibly loved and appreciated that he gets overwhelmed (again, in a good way)

in the boxer au, james is more prone to acts of service?? kinda?? he's aware that reg doesn't want to be extra aware of his body so he focuses on . taking care of him in general, distracting him a lil, making sure he's comfortable and relaxed

he draws baths for him whenever he gets home from work, does the chores reg dislikes the most, cooks him his favourite meals, gives him thorough massages when he looks especially stressed or tense

in oby, despite reg being a lot more reliant on physical touch than interviewer reg and actively seeking it out, he also appreciates words of affirmation <3 james leaves him these sweet little notes filled with lovely statements and reminders all over their flat and drowns him in compliments when they're together!! he also sends him texts when he's at work

boxer james isn't as touchy bc interviewer reg doesn't really enjoy it when he's feeling like this HOWEVER there's a lot of like . casual contact?? brief and careful but also firm and intentional. a hand on the small of his back, a gentle squeeze on his hip, a caress on the side of his neck. little ways in which james reminds him that he's there always and he can come to him whenever he feels ready and that he isn't going anywhere

oby james does a lot of research on trans ppl and gender dysphoria and hormones and surgery and transitioning bc his knowledge is limited and he wants to be there for reg in any way he can!! they sit down and talk about it whenever reg is up for it and feeling well enough to speak about his struggles and how it feels and what he needs from james <3 james holds his hand the whole time and squeezes periodically and listens very very attentively, taking lots of mental notes. tells him how proud he is of him and how strong he is <3

boxer james is a lot more experienced in this field bc he's been with trans ppl and knows quite a lot on the topic + he's familiar with reg and how he deals with his issues so they don't talk that much about it but there's a lot of?? silent communication?? james gives reg space when he's aware that that's what he wants while being There at the same time yk?? he doesn't insert himself or interrupt when pandora or evan or both come over when reg is having a especially hard time but he's ready to hold reg when they're gone and he's Focused so he can read him correctly and give him what he needs

oby reg is quite spoiled, and hence all the jokes about james being a sugar daddy, and this also comes into play when his dysphoria gets worse. james has always been big on gifts but when reg isn't feeling okay he goes a bit . overboard . as soon as reg looks at something for a second too long james is getting it for him. it exasperates reg to no end but he also finds it incredibly endearing + he knows it's one of the ways in which james shows his love so it always cheers him up

interviewer reg is more logical and . harsh about his dysphoria, maybe bc he's a bit of a well-known/public figure and he can't always afford to break down or show any weaknesses especially in front of ppl who can and will use them against him. and it can be hard when his job also forces him to deal with a lot more transphobia for . obvious reasons . he tends to repress his struggles a lot which is also why he's more prone to isolating himself and distancing himself

james Knows and Understands this, which i've already mentioned, and he gives him space when he truly needs it BUT he can also be a bit stern when he notices reg is going too far or like . harming himself in the process of protecting himself. he'd never overstep or be cruel or pushy about it, but he's firm in his gentleness and tells it like it is. reg really appreciates this about him, and sometimes he needs the reminder that he can lean on james whenever he needs to

when it comes to sex in oby (and reg has been struggling with dysphoria), james checks up on him a lot while they're at it, and he also makes sure every single time that reg truly wants it + is in the mood. he's also always ready to stop at the first sign of reg being uncomfy or not enjoying himself

he also exclusively uses masc terms for reg's genitals. he's aware that he doesn't really mind, and it's one of those things reg has been confident about for a while, but it helps when reg is feeling bad or wrong about his body. he focuses a lot more on reg's pleasure too, and that's saying a lot, considering he already prioritises it over his own

in the boxer au, there's a lot of topping on reg's side. they don't switch as much as oby jegulus, due to preferences, but when reg is feeling especially dysphoric james bottoms A Lot. and they both enjoy it SO MUCH even if james keeps acting like he prefers topping a lot better bc he's annoying like that

interviewer reg takes full control but james doesn't give it up easily, which reg Loves. james knows he needs that fight and that he needs to win it fairly, so he resists all he can and doesn't go easy on reg At All. he still loses every single time bc reg and his strap always turn him into a begging sobbing mess, and james is obsessed with how rough reg can become

and that's all <3 i hope it was what u wanted, or that u at least liked it <3 sending all my love MWAH

[borderlinebox]

Sup! hope you’re having a great day 😮💗 having childhood best friend brainrot- “you have my back right?” x “lmao probably” cheesy but I eat that shit up every time

could you write a oneshot or headcannon

for chishiya? He’s gotten/done something that’s worth celebrating (maybe it’s his birthday, got first place or a hundred on his test, got into the college that he applied to) he’s never been told by someone that they’re proud of him not even from his old man so he went on with his day expecting nothing special

But but BUT chishiya hears the familiar patterned knocks on his window, how they managed to get up there without his father knowing is beyond him but he’s relieved considering his old man isn’t all that fond with them (In this scenario id imagine that chishiya’s father wouldn’t really like us bc of our shortcomings? something like that...and if he isn’t friends with our parents)

they sneak (more like drag) him out with a lot of convincing and celebrate by going into places he would tolerate or enjoy,,rip his friend’s allowance 💸 At the end of the night they both end up on a park bench with store bought cake with messy written icing “I’m so pr he I did it bitch!!” done by yours truly. they do say it to him and give him a short side hug before he gets back home tho

Feel free to decline this! take care ⭐️

Celebrate With Me!

Summary: Reader acknowledges Chishiya's accomplishments.

Pairing: Chishiya x Reader

Warning: That good cliche shit, FLUFF, cuteness overload, not proofread!!!, changed a few things up!

A/N: ISTG I'm boutta make a Chishiya X Bestfriend! Reader bundle because these requests are too cute!! Hope you have a great day as well and take care too ^^ <3 I am incredibly happy and proud on how this turned out!!! Spent a literal 2 hours straight on it because I lost some progress and I'm gonna have my ass whooped later but this should cover the blow LOVE YALL AND THIS REQQQ ♥

Feedback is highly appreciated!!!

Chishiya sat upon his desk chair, currently finishing up some notes. Just things he's learnt or felt like he found interesting. He could use it in the future. Distant music playing from his favorite band echoed softly in his room.

There wasn't much to do. He'd recently gotten a letter from a university he had applied to - which he was successfully accepted in. He could say he was happy for himself but it just wasn't that exciting or celebration-worthy to him.

He continuously tapped the tip of the pen against the table in a rhythm, re-reading the paragraphs of various words.

SMACK

The sudden noise caught Chishiya's attention as he quickly twisted his head towards the loud noise. There, on his window, a handprint was seen as it was slowly sliding down the window, failing to stick.

Its fingers soon danced on the window, creating multiple and small taps across the glass pane without a proper flow of beat.

Chishiya sighed and stood up and opened the window to reveal his friend struggling to hold onto his window's support,

"Y/N, What are you doing here?" He wasn't at all surprised. He was just more so concerned why you were currently hanging by a thread on his window.

"I'll tell you when I get inside. Right now let's focus on the part where you shoULD BRING ME INSIDE." You flailed your legs around as you struggled to even breathe properly.

He hissed at you to stay quiet and helped you up to sneak inside.

There was a voice, somewhere in his mind where he actually wanted to leave you hanging for a while to amuse himself but that would have been a bad idea.

Once you had both your feet on the floor of his bedroom, you dusted yourself off and took a much needed breather. You had been running to his house since 45 minutes ago. It was hard with the troublesome traffic and people yelling at you as you swerved your way through them, you're just glad you've finally reached his humble abode.

"Right, Explain." He said bluntly, doing his signature move; placing his hands into his pockets. "How did you even get up here?"

You shaked your hand profusely, deflecting the topic. "Never mind that-, guess who found out when your birthday iiiisss?" You looked up at him with a tired yet mischievous grin.

"I'm guessing you."

"Me," You announced proudly while facing your thumb towards yourself, chest up in victory. "And you wanna know what I'm gonna do about it?"

"Please don't." Chishiya sighed, point-blankly. Unfortunately, there was no hope of changing the situation's circumstances because he knew when you were hooked on something, it's sure that you'll be hell-bent on getting it, no matter how stupidly dangerous or ridiculous it may seem.

You laughed before dropping down to the carpeted floor of his room and picking up your sling bag. "Now, as I was saying," Your finger dramatically pointed towards the bag. "We gotta celebrate! So we're going out and hang!"

"I really rather not." He stood his ground, stubbornly declining your offer.

"Come on, you're gonna celebrate your birthday with me!" You teased with the same playful grin you gave him. He was always so stubborn when it came to things he accomplished or failed - whether you wanna celebrate it or cheer him up. Either way, you were going to be even more stubborn than him this time.

"No." He muttered out sternly.

"Yes," You pushed with determination. "We are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No"

"Yes"

"No-"

"Why not??" You broke the repetitive, single-worded debate and gave him a sad look. "You never celebrate anything. Don't you want me to show you how happy and proud I am for you, Chishiya?"

Chishiya seemed to be broken from his train of thought at his words. He was silent, but you could tell that he was processing your words and calculating a response as if he was some kind of robot. You'd have to be honest, he kind of is one sometimes-

"Fine, I'll go and celebrate my birthday." Was all he said, his condescending look seeming to have disappeared - replaced with an unreadable expression.

It didn't feel like an answer at all - you felt disappointed. But you decided to push away those feelings for later because you were still ecstatic about your achievement and that's what mattered.

"W-Wonderful! You go get prepared or something!" You told him in a panic frenzy and opened the window from where you cam from. "I'll wait for you to climb out the window!"

And before waiting for his response, the last thing Chishiya saw of you was you already dipping out of the window and landed on the lush grass, in pain - as he presumed. He quickly changed and made his way down the stairs, being granted the permission to leave.

Chishiya would probably be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little bit concerned for your well being when you jumped out of that window.

To his surprise, when he went outside, he saw you standing proudly with a little dirt in your hair and face.

"You goof??" He asked, eyeing you up and down.

"Perfect, Great! I didn't get hurt, totally didn't - I think I sprained my wrist but that's totally fixed now." You spoke quickly, not even giving him a chance to say another word since you had grabbed him by his wrist. "Now come on! We don't have all day."

-

"Was this necessary?" Chishiya mutters blankly as he takes in the view of the park. It was a rather quiet, and less populated park wherever you and Chishiya both lived. Not many people visited everyday but there were still some who came often. Parks that were more widely known had a bigger crowd and you know Chishiya enough to know that he doesn't like big crowds. Especially the noise that comes with it.

"It was either this or the carnival next place." You turned to him and raised your brow.

"I think I prefer the park." He shrugged. It wasn't a bad place at all - Fairly clean and a decent view. You would sometimes come here alone and think, maybe even attempt to bring Chishiya over. But he was either busy or too stubborn to go. Thankfully, you managed to corner him.

Even though Chishiya let you take him here this time.

Both of you took your time there, having deep talks which mostly started off with why he hadn't really celebrated many past birthdays, which made you frown a lot. Chishiya thought it was half a mistake to give you that information after you had told him that you were gonna celebrate his birthday for him every year instead.

He may be lying if he didn't appreciate it.

The rest of the time, both of you walked and talked on the more philosophical topics. Just the precious quality time between two great lov friends, walking underneath the cloudy weather with strands of sunlight pushing through and landing on the cobblestone pavements.

It didn't seem much as a birthday celebration to the regular human etiquette but you could care less because both of you were having. swell time. Even if neither of you said it. It was a bonding time that didn't need the use of an explanation and more of a feeling.

Your eye was caught by a flock of ducks roaming around a side of a pond next to a woman selling duck food or pieces of bread. Chishiya must've noticed this since you had fully stopped walking and stood in place, staring at them.

"You wanna feed the ducks?" His voice brought you out of your mini daydream, he had his natural high charm evident in his face and voice.

"I, well, if you want to. It's your birthday, not mine.." You mumbled out, it was a bit low for anyone to actually process your words, seeing that you would be a little upset that you didn't feed those ducks.

"Okay then," He lightly smiles and walks his way past you with a bored yet slightly amused expression. "Let's go feed those ducks."

Like a little kid who had been given permission to sleep over at his friend's house, you giddily smiled and practically swooshed right on past him and over to the woman selling the small bits of food.

You quickly bought two small bags and handed one over to Chishiya. He took the bag filled with small, multiple pieces of duckfeed into his hands and looked back up at you. "If I'm gonna feed the ducks, you've gotta feed them too." You told him with a bright smile before kneeling down to the ducks.

Chishiya opened the bag and shook around its contents before taking out a handful and throwing it onto the ground the ducks stood upon with a blank face.

However, you had a cute and dorky smile on your face while you handfed them all equally. Some of them bit you by accident but it was no more painful than a light pinch. Your smile was bright enough to light up a whole room, Chishiya thought as he held back the urge to smile at your antics.

A chuckle from the old vendor caught both of your attention. When she noticed she sighed softly, "Sorry,"

You smiled, "No worries! It's absolutely fine! Why were you chuckling anyway?" Hand finding its way to the bag full of duck feed to gather some more and hand over the pieces to the ducks.

She grinned at the both of you. "Both of you are so cute, are you a couple?"

The question caught both of you off guard. You could quite literally feel the tension rise in the atmosphere. You felt your breath hitch and your lungs close as it denied you to breath from the sudden question.

"No! No, heh, we're just friends." You shot up with an awkward smile at the lady who had understood the tension between her and you both. You look back up at Chishiya with a nervous look on your face. "Isn't that right, Chi?"

He appeared to have froze due to your question. Or was he just standing still and silent because he had zoned out? Was he deeply immersed in his thoughts?

"No, we're friends." Chishiya confirmed. You expected that answer but you couldn't help but feel the pang in your heart when he actually said it.

The vendor nodded and apologized once again for asking such a question. She went back to her small stand to mind her own business instead.

Now you and Chishiya kept on feeding the ducks until both your bags were completely empty, all in awkward silence. Not one of you tried to break the ice since it appeared that no one had anything to say after that question.

You turned to thank the lady before leaving with Chishiya without a word.

Upon arriving back at the park's entrance Chishiya decided to finally break the silence. "Well? Where are you dragging me off to next?" He asked, raising a brow at you. You had almost completely forgotten the reason why you had went out in the first place.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Slipping your hand into your slingbag, you pulled out a small crumpled paper and unfolded it.Chishiya tried to lean in and read but you pulled the paper closer to you. "Hey! Don't peek on the surprise." You pouted, forgetting all about the question for a moment.

He put his hand up defensively but it was no more than a sarcastic tease. "No peeking." He repeats before shoving his hands into his pockets once again. Chishiya was almost never seen with his hands outside his pockets outside of his home. It was almoat natural and expected.

Once you were sure he wouldn't peek again, you opened up the piece of paper before folding it once more.

"I got an idea."

"You looked at the paper which most likely had the idea.

"I have an idea." You repeated, dismissing his smart assness. "Follow me!" And once again, you boldly took a hold of his wrist and started to dash to whatever place you were dragging him to next.

-

The warm light of the welcome sign greeted the both of you as you stood outside a relatively new, and decently small café. And sketchy enough, the stores it was between in was a shady dentist's office and a run-down, forever closed drug store.

"This is the new coffee shop that opened last week." Chishiya noticed, looking up at the hangout's name to remember it. "It certainly has a sketchy location."

"That's cause this was the only place the owner could afford. In fact, they're actually quite creeped out by the stores beside it. I feel bad." You explained briefly, glancing at the side shops. "But that's not what we're here for, dear friend."

You pushed him inside the cafe and it was definitely much better on the inside than the out. It had relatively creamy walls and warm lights. You were surprised that the place wasn't filled with people. Tempting enough to keep this place as a secret, all to yourself.

"Sit the hell down." You brought Chishiya to a corner seat - which is, in a natural rule, one of the best seats a restaurant or any place could ask for - and sitting in front of him.

"It isn't a bad place, I'll give it that." Your bleach haired friend admitted, his eyes still roaming around. "What gave you the idea?"

A giggle escaped your lips, "I wanted to try it out. I actually visited the place a few days ago. It was completely different than now. They changed it a lot." You shrugged, "And I thought of you when I stepped in here. I thought you'd like the place."

Chishiya smiled lightly, which was again; rare. "It's good."

"Better than-"

"I haven't decided yet." He cut you off before you could finish which resulted in you giving him a cheeky smirk.

He couldn't help but feel good about himself when you admitted that you thought of him when you found this place. It felt truly honorable than his straight A's and cards with that big ol' red 'Accepted' on it. It was something near to a foreign feeling.

"About what that vendor said-" You were immediately cut off by a waiter coming up, asking for your orders. You coughed into your arm at the sudden surprise and ordered your preferred drink.

Chishiya glanced at you and the waiter, what was with the question? He quickly ordered his own drink as you thanked the waiter before they left.

Another set of an awkward silence filled between the both of you. He was curious about your earlier question but didn't want to push you, you looked embarassed enough after choking on your own spit.

"Don't think about it. She just made a mistake, it's fine." Chishiya wanted to say something else but decided to take matters into his own hands instead. "It's not that uncommon. Sometimes expected."

You nodded at his words. "Right.. I forgot, they have board games here! You wanna play?" You beamed up, changing the subject. He glanced his eyes to the side, finding the board games that you were talking about.

All of them were stacked on a small bookshelf that had a good amount of books on it as well.

"Sure, we'll play." He shrugged without a care. "Why don't you choose the game, Y/N?"

You hummed out a yes and took your time; reading all the board game labels. There were many of them but you wanted to try out something bold, something Chishiya would actuallu want to play with you. "Ah! Chess."

Why Chess? You finally processed your declaration.

"Oh, Chess?" Chishiya looked back at you. What a bold declaration of war. "Sure, why not."

You felt yourself gulp and begin to pray for your mistakes and for your well being, choosing a game like this against a guy like Chishiya. You've already made a decision and stood up and made your walk of shame towards the small chess board.

Bringing the board to your table, you gathered yourself the confidence and smacked the board down.

"Bring it on, Shuntaro." A smirk appeared on your face, a bold glimmer in your eyes.

-

"I think I'm gonna be sick." You burp out, watching your side of the chess board with bored and tired eyes. You've already accepted your death wish an hour ago.

Now you were here with two empty cups, 3 hours that passed by and found yourself with only a King and a Pawn against Chishiya's fucking army. You've paid for your drinks an hour ago and you were still here, suffering.

"You chose the game." He defended. He looked unchanged - just the same guy three hours ago. Meanwhile you sat in front of him, a hand in your hair and tired eyes.

You weren't sleepy, you were just tired of watching your entire empire fall.

"You're enjoying this, I know it. Behind those blank eyes of yours? You're enjoying this." An almost pathetically dramatic voice of sulking came from you as you connected your forehead onto the table.

You could feel him shrug in front of you.

"But alas!" You rose dramatically, "That was my plan all along!" You moved your king to the line of sight of his queen, making yourself lose. "I forfeit. Besides, we're gonna miss the best part of today!"

Chishiya watched as you obliterated yourself and throwing the chess pieces off the board and clean up. "Fun game." He responded to your actions.

"It was not at all fair." You pushed and closed the board up when you finished counting off the chess pieces and went off to put it back in respect. "You're far smarter than me and you know it."

"You chose th-"

"Yeah, Yeah. 'I chose the game' and whatnot, I get it." You echoed him in an immature tone of voice, but you'd never deny his intelligence. He technically carried you through physics and math.

He stood up and walked out beside you, hearing the same waiter who served you both give their thanks.

"The last stop shouldn't be too far from here." You were looking at that old crumpled piece of paper you had a while ago.

After just a few minutes, maybe 10, of walking, you found both yourselves in front of a popular convenience store joint that you and Chishiya always went to for a quick lunch or snack break when you were both in highschool.

You lead him to a black bench right across the small store and placed your things down, taking your wallet out your bag.

"Stay here." You smiled before running into the building.

Chishiya stared at the all too familiar black bench. No, he didn't sit, the black bench gave him an overflow of memories when you both hung out here. You and Chishiya would buy anything you both wanted and were able to buy from the store and sit out here, exchanging notes and occasionally jokes. He smiled at the thought.

"I told you to sit!" You pointed at him accusingly as you held a brown paper bag in your other arm. The sounds of the bells on the doors clinged together when you exited the building.

"I was." Chishiya turned his way to you.

"After almost 10 minutes of me being in there? Come on." You chuckled and decided to sit down on the black bench yourself. He followed right after you. "Check out what I got!"

You ruffled your hand into the paper bag with joy, tongue sticking out and biting softly on the muscle. "Boom!" You cheered when you took it out.

It was a small almost medium, cute pink cake - which was his favorite whipped strawberry flavor - with Chishiya's favorite cookies decorated on the outer curve.

You handed it to chishiya with the same dorky smile you had when you were feeding the ducks at the park. He observed the writing on the cake with narrow eyes.

'Hapi'

'You de'

'Congratatulations!!!'

Despite the spelling error, and the very messy writing, you still smiled like an idiot and Chishiya couldn't help but appreciate the fucked up cake. He actually showed you his smile that time.

Can you believe it? Making Chishiya smile 3 maybe even 4 times today?

It made yourself smile even wider that you had to put your chin on your hands.

"You spelled 'Congra-"

"I'm aware of my mistake Chishiya but there's clearly no more room for anymore mistakes on that cake." You pointed at the cake which really did have no more room for anymore icing.

He exhaled with a smile, his way of laughing or chuckling at you genuinely at best, before opening the plastic lid.

"Oh and, if you want anymore of your bland ass cookies, there's more in the bag. Can't understand why you like that crap." You jokingly gave him a cringed look and stuck your tongue out in disgusted exaggeration. But, you got it for him.

"Fork?" Chishiya asked, looking back up at you.

"Oh shit, yeah I forgot." You opened up your sling and pulled out two plastic forks. "I figured that there wasn't going to be any free forks in the store so I decided to bring some."

Handing him one, you were more than ready to eat the cake with him.

As both of you dipped in for the first bite, you both heard the sounds of popping in the sky which caught Chishiya off his guard.

Fireworks were in the sky. All different colors, blending in so well in the night sky.

"Would you look at that." You said in awe through the cake in your mouth. "I wonder who put that there."

"You did something, didn't you?" Chishiya looked at you, unamused but still appreciative. You could tell it through the way how soft his eyes looked. It was much softer and quite happier than usual, and you were proud.

"I may have asked some friends." You shrugged, meeting his gaze.

Both of you had not only the warm light emitting from the convenience store, but the different colors of the fireworks that temporarily glowed on both of your faces.

You thought he looked so pretty in all of the colored sparks of light. You could get used to his eyes if it were like this.

"I'm really happy and proud of you, Chish." You said all full of truth, hitting his shoulder playfully. "You need to hear it sometimes, no?"

"I guess." Chishiya answered with a shrug again, lifting another fork full of cake near his mouth. "Thanks, I think."

You chuckled, finally hearing those words come out of his mouth felt so satisfying to you. You were even sure he never really said it all to anyone. The sparks in the sky continued to flash in the sky all so beautifully. "Don't mention it."

Maybe he could get used to this, having someone like you. It made him feel all warm and proud for once.

[billthedrake]

SOULMATES

I know you're never supposed to believe a married man when he says he'll leave his wife for you. But Tim Rogers was living with me when he said it. Actually living with me, day in, day out.

It wasn't like that at first. I'd met Tim at the exurban gym we both went to. The kind of place with lots of weekend dabblers in the weight room. Tim and I stuck out as the guys serious about lifting without being outright meatheads. We became workout buddies and hit it off.

Half the time we'd lift, and Tim would come over to my place after. We'd talk. When it wasn't sports or work shit, the guy would unload his problems, and I'd listen. Tim actually could have used a real therapist, but he didn't have the money for that shit, and even if he did he would have been too proud to go.

So I heard about his shitty marriage, and I'd suck his cock. Then he'd suck mine.

I wasn't closeted, but I wasn't actually out and proud either. That worked for the ex-baseball player, who felt more comfortable coming over. More comfortable kissing and making out. He asked me to take his cherry, so I did. Tim fucking loved that. The next night he made an excuse to come over and get fucked again.

I had a great body. Being a single, gym-obsessed gay dude will do that for you. Tall and well-proportioned. But I couldn't believe I was having sex with Tim on a regular basis. He worked construction jobs, and that kind of manual labor had a way of aging you, quick. But Tim was 26 and goddamn beautiful. Blue eyes, dark brown hair, killer smile, dimples. Muscle on muscle that even the ex-jock padding didn't hide. Incredible ass that I'd bone up looking at.

He stayed over at my place whenever he and his wife had a fight. They were fighting more. We called them Doghouse nights, but the fourth was the last. Tim never went back to his wife.

I'm a red-blooded man, horny as any, I guess, but I was unprepared for Tim's amped up sex drive. I was ten years older than him, so teased me for being an old man. But I don't remember having a libido like his in my 20s. I blew him a couple times a day to take the edge off. And in the evening, every evening, I fucked him in my bed. Our bed, now.

My name is Mark, but Tim called me Cleve, after my middle name. Mostly to tease me, but the nickname stuck as a pet name. I called him Six Gun, or Gunner, since I'd once gotten him to cum six times in 24 hours.

The divorce came, finally. I found out Tim had been dragging his heels to avoid alimony. I told him not to worry about a thing. He had a place to live, and I wasn't gonna charge him any goddamn rent. We celebrated the day the papers were finalized.

The man got in shape. I mean he already had that incredible ex-jock muscle amped up from hard work and the gym. But he lost the beefy thickness and slimmed down. I didn't care, I loved it either way. But he seemed happier, more thrilled with his body and the way I pawed at him.

I don't even know why I didn't realize we were more than live-in fuck buddies, but I was watching Tim make his egg-white omelet one morning and it hit me hard. I was in love with the man. Deeply, tragically in love with him, body and soul.

I started crying.

"Cleve, what the fuck?" he asked. Thinking something was wrong.

"I love you, Gunner," I managed to say.

His concern grew to a smile. "I love you, too, doofus," he grinned as he mock punched my shoulder. "Damn you look like a wuss when you cry," he teased.

"Asshole," I shot back playfully. I knew this was Tim's defense mechanism, and it actually made me laugh.

I stood up and our bodies met as we kissed. Tim's omelet would have to wait. We couldn't get back to the bedroom quick enough. A BJ wasn't gonna cut it. I lubed up, put those strong legs on my shoulders, and entered Tim as we locked eyes.

"Love you, Mark," he hissed as I breached him. "So much."

"God, Tim," I grunted. "Gonna be hard to hold back."

I meant with my orgasm, but Tim took it a different way. "Don't. Fuck me, Cleve. Fuck me hard."

I did. Almost exploratory thrusts to see if he meant it. That ex-baseball jock did. Taking my hard shoves deep into his guts and looking up at me with a silent plea for more. So I fucked rougher. It was intense for him, but just fueled his orgasm as he jerked that thick tool. I pounded to fuck the cum out of him, then pounded to get off myself. It took seconds.

It was the closest thing to make up sex, because Tim and I never fought. He said he'd had a lifetime's worth of fights with his ex, and didn't want any more.

To the outside world we were roommates. If that was the kind of thing that bothered me, I would have moved from our town years ago.

Tim said he missed sex with women sometimes. "If you ever want to Gunner, you should," I told him. "I'm serious," I added when he looked at me skeptically.

He did, a few times. Each time he came back home, quiet. He never talked about it but the next time we fucked he'd ask me to go hard. Eventually he no longer went on Tinder and no longer hooked up with anyone else.

I got used to taking charge of things. Finances, household stuff, setting up retirement savings for Tim. So I was surprised when Tim booked a vacation for us.

"It's our fifth anniversary," he beamed as he showed off the place he'd booked. Not only a gay resort in Palm Springs, but one of those clothing optional places. "Figured we could use a little getaway."

"Anniversary of what?" I asked.

He shrugged. "My divorce papers. At least that's when I stopped pretending."

I didn't realize Tim ever pretended. Then I didn't realize he'd ever stopped.

The vacation was incredible. It was our first time having sex with others. Yeah, a part of me was nervous, but my boyfriend loved showing off his body and being the attention of hot guys. He loved looking at me with a giddy, kid like expression as some muscle dude blew him. His enthusiasm was contagious.

We went back home feeling like something had changed, in a good way.

As much as I craved routine, I had to admit it was a way Tim and I didn't deal with things. But now we mixed it up. He took on more of the household chores, and I tried to be the one to come up with the fun ideas for date night. Tim started going down on me before work, as a surprise. I asked him if he ever wanted to top me. He did, and while he confessed he preferred being on bottom, occasionally we'd switch, or even better, flip.

We were two men who weren't in touch with our emotions. We still didn't know how to talk. We got used to each other's nonverbal way of talking. That's why I wasn't surprised when Tim blurted out what had been bottled up. Out of the blue, while we watching some baseball game.

"We gotta move, Cleve," he said. Frustration in his voice, but I knew it wasn't frustration at me. It was frustration at his life, this town. "I've done the numbers. We'll probably take a hit on the house, but we can make it work."

He looked at me in a challenge. Ready for Mr. Routine to dig his heels in. Or at least ask why.

But I goddamn well knew why. "Yeah," I said.

We didn't fight, but we argued about where. Tim hated the cold, and I hated the heat. Being in construction, he'd find work more easily than me. Besides, I wasn't close to my family, but I hesitated to move too far away.

In the end, I let Tim pick. I was in love with him, now more than ever. And at 31, he was still the most goddamn beautiful man I'd ever known.

We got excited making plans, talking about our future. Then, right there on the living room couch, we made out and fucked.

[shuttershocky]

Top 3 characters from any MOBA you've played gameplay-wise

Ooh this is ridiculously hard... Ive played so many over the years that I liked...

1.) Shoichi (Eternal Return) — The only video game character archetype I like more than a gunslinger is a swift dagger wielding assassin, and Shoichi took that to the utmost extreme.

Blindingly fast, incredibly squishy, and extremely prone to dying off of a single mistake, Shoichi's whole deal was that he could reset a short range, instant dash by dashing over a dagger that he drops, while his Stab, knife throw, and spinning ult all dropped daggers around him (like a modified Katalina, from League of Legends).

He's so squishy that if he misses one of his skills and runs out of dash resets, he's quickly killed, meaning his gameplan was always to ambush a target with a full combo of all his skills as fast as possible, hopefully killing them before they even properly realized they were being attacked.

This feast or famine playstyle made him a big balance problem for ER, and he tended to either instantly kill a target, or miss one skill / run out of damage on a tankier target and then just die pathetically, but that's what made playing him so fun.

He's the closest a video game has truly got to really capturing Tohno Shiki as depicted in Tsukihime, far more so than Melty Blood's. I've uploaded a few Shoichi clips here on this blog, i'm not as fast as the pros are but I'm still real proud of them (especially the 1v2s or 1v3s ive won)

2) Rubick (Dota 2) — As the original MOBA upon which all others descended from, Defense of the Ancients contains a lot of Heroes with designs that became nothing less than genre-defining, such as Pudge's meat hook being replicated throughout many, many games, from League's Blitzcrank to Overwatch's Roadhog to Super Monday Night Combat's Veteran

Rubick however, is a character based around having an incredibly generic skillset, but with the most unique ultimate in Dota. He's got an instant stun that does no damage but can move enemies around, an honest nuke that bounces, and a passive that boosts his cast range, little in the way of an identity. But, Rubick's ultimate, Spell Steal, lets him copy the last spell an enemy hero used (including their ultimates) and temporarily use it in battle.

This makes Rubick's gameplay completely change every single time, as his possible moveset is determined by the enemy's lineup instead of him. His generic but crudely effective regular skills are meant to combo with as many different stolen spells as possible, creating a real chameleon of a mage that can use even your own ultimates against you.

Due to his simple basic skills, playing Rubick is very easy, but due to his ultimate, playing Rubick well requires mastery of basically every other spell in the game, and Dota is notorious for being the sort of game where it's quite easy to grief your own teammates with a bad spellcast.

I have played this character for a ridiculous number of hours since he first got ported from Dota 1 to 2 back in 2012, and I'm still only able to grasp him at a surface level. I love the pursuit of mastery far more than actually getting good, which is why I've been hot garbage at Dota for over 12 years now and I've never tired of it. Rubick is that feeling in a single hero.

3) Captain Spark (Super Monday Night Combat) — Although it pains me not to put a representative of my love Gigantic in here, Captain Spark remains unmatched. A Rocketeer + Shark Boy and Lava Girl parody, Captain Spark took the very common trope of the teleporting assassin in 2D MOBAs, and took it into 3D space.

With the ability to blink through walls and floors, Spark played with the 3D space in a way nobody else in Super Monday Night Combat could touch. He could come from anywhere, at any time. There was nowhere you could run where he couldn't follow, and catching a guy that could simply blink to another part of the map made chasing him almost impossible. It's the closest anyone's really gotten to replicating the idea of fighting a comic book speedster, where you have to catch them by surprise, or lure them into a fight they can't easily escape from and overpowering them with bulk.

One of my favorite moments playing as Captain Spark is when another player caught me offguard and pushed me off the map to my certain death. I simply looked up as I was falling, teleported through the floor, and ended up right behind the guy as they turned around assuming I was already dead. I shot them with Spark's secondary ray pistol just to get their attention, and when they turned around, I grabbed them and tossed them off the cliff they just chucked me from (because hey, one of Spark's skills is to grab and flip an enemy behind him, perfect for such situations).

I miss SMNC. Video games sure haven't made a weird Shark Boy wearing Rocketeer cosplay kind of character again.