#And just because Kili things he's being clever and subtle

[patchworkideas]

FiKi Week 2019: Day 4, Pet

Had been thinking about the Fair Folk and Elves some months ago and the idea ended up running away with my two favourite characters. I'm actually pretty proud of this one and after seeing the Prompt I couldn't resist posting this. Hope it's as enjoyable to read as it was to write.

 Can also be found on AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20002828

- 

Elves can be tricky, with an otherworldly morality system that no one quite understands.  

Kili finds that out the hard way.  

He has been sitting on the edge of Mirkwood for a few days now and the thought of leaving had been impossible until a few moments ago.  

All that he could think about was his star, his Tauriel. He hadn't even registered the words that echo so loudly through his mind now, as he's running away from a predator that thinks him an easy meal. 

In this unknown body he probably is.  

She bewitched him. Ever since she visited him in the dungeons everyday, he had been lost, unable to think of anything but her. Every time he saw her, just another opportunity for her to get her claws deeper into his mind.  

In the end, he left Erebor. Left his family, everything he cared about, because his mistress asked and he couldn't resist the sirens call.  

How long even did he stay in Mirkwood, a pet among the elves, unable to think for himself?  

If those Rivendell Elves hadn't come, hadn't seen, hadn't demanded that he was set free, he would probably still be there. 

If that thing hadn't tried to eat him, he probably would have waited there until she came to collect her pet back.  

But he has his mind back, he's awake and clear in what feels like the first time in forever.  

He runs, and he hides and he tries to hunt on four foreign paws, his fur dirty and his new senses almost overwhelming him.  

He makes it to the Lonely Mountain.  

He makes it unseen through the back ways, and runs like the devil through the places he can't hide in. Bides his time. He knows he's getting dangerously thin, that no dwarf will look at him and see something worth saving.  

None but one.  

And when the opportunity comes, he takes it. He evades Dwalins hands as he screams his brothers name, just the first syllable, his mouth grating and painful even around that. He evades everything grasping him while he weaves through his legs, hides behind him, calling, calling, calling, crying out through the pain and doing it again. 

Only Fili may lift him.  

May see his puppy eyes look that has never failed before.  

And it doesn't.  

Fili bathes him, brushes his fur, cuddles him close. He loves him, even if just as a pet. Kili returns the sentiment, even as his brother pours out his heart in front of him, crying in his empty room for the brother he thought lost.

He doesn’t understand his cats desperate tries of communication though. Scratched in runes are ignored, ink pots almost impossible to get his paws into before he is scolded and lifted away. 

He watches as his brother starts letters he never finishes, never meant to send. Tells his faithful feline friend that Kili is happy were he is. That he's choosen who he wants to be with and it isn't with him.  

Fili never stops mourning. Kili never stops comforting him, or trying to make him understand.  

Kili makes his choice, somewhere between protecting him from the would be assassin whose eyes he scratches out and the gold digging dwarrowdams that Thorin thinks might cheer up his brother, unseeing that Fili agrees to being miserable for the sake of duty and nothing else. 

He wants to give a tongue lashing to them all, to let it get this bad. It will have to wait, like so much. 

Eventually, it's Ori that ends up seeing a pattern. Of a too smart cat that keeps desperately scratching in the same shapes whenever he can. His runes have become almost readable by then, from all the practice. Fili indulges the Scribe when he sets out a small bowl of ink and an empty piece of paper. 

Kili takes his time, careful to make the runes as clear as possible. With paws a piece of paper is not a lot of room. "Get Gandalf." is what he has to settle with. There's not enough room for more. Not with his blasted paws unable to write smaller. 

Ori brings out another paper, but speaks clear and slow, as if he hadn't proved his intelligence countless times by now, telling him to write the same message again. 

He does.  

He manages it smaller this time, adding a haphazard "HELP!" onto it. Partly to be contrary, and partly to get his desperation across. 

He knows he can't tell them his name. Too much hurt comes with the mention, too much that could distract. 

And if Gandalf can't help... Better not to give hope where there might be none. Kili doesn't know if his brother will survive losing him twice. 

- 

In the end, Fili swears Ori to secrecy and smuggles out a message requesting Gandalf's help.  

King Thorin will be furious, and his cat is already fairly disliked for being impossible to part from him, the Crown Prince, as is. He knows his Uncle allows it because his pet has made him smile again.  

Even though it insist on driving away any possible match.  

Fili thinks about yesterday, how he stood up about not wanting to have children with someone who couldn't even handle a cat, and how cats only live about a decade anyway, would it truly be too much to ask to wait that long to look for a match? 

His King might have been displeased, but it was the first thing his nephew had asked for himself ever since the battle, so his Uncle gave in. 

He asks the raven to hurry, wrote Gandalf the same. 

He doesn’t know how old his cat is, doesn't know how long he has, but after all it helped him with, all the comfort and quiet joy he had thought lost forever, well, they can call him insane and punish him all they want afterwards, he's not going to let his little friend down. 

Gandalf does eventually come, though unfortunately Fili can't get him alone before the old wizard strides into the hall and asks what the emergency is. 

Fili knows he can't bring this back into smaller circles, that, if he's wrong, he's going to show his insanity in front of the whole damn Court, but before he can truly worry his Cat jumps from his shoulder and runs away, towards the wizard.  

He has moved after it before he realises it, snatching it up just before it reaches the tall figure.  Every eye is on them, and Gandalf looks surprised for a second before a small smile breaks through.  

"Well, that is an emergency, I suppose. You did good in calling me." 

And he touches Fili's cat with his staff, the top of it just barely brushing it's head before a blinding light fills his eyes and the fur under his fingers changes and he becomes unable to hold him up anymore. 

And it is a him that now rest in his arms. A shape that's burned into his memory with the force of a thousand dragons fire, never, ever forgotten. Fili whispers the name like a prayer into the hair of the dwarf before him, before finally opening his eyes upon hearing what his cat has been trying to tell him all this time. 

"Hey, Fi. I'm home." 

- 

There are long discussions of course, after Fili used his coat to hide his naked brother from prying eyes before leading him to a smaller, more private chamber, with only their most trusted friends around.  

Kili tells the story, how he was enchanted, trapped and how he broke free, finding his way back.  

Gandalf looks caught between sad but resigned and angry and frustrated. 

Apparently making someone love someone else is not considered a crime among the wood elves as long as the person in question doesn't ask for the spell to end. Which was obviously ridiculous, considering the fact that he hadn't even known he was under a spell until his near death broke him out of it. (And didn't that change her appearance in the battle, never leaving his side. She was right there to redo the spell whenever the battle woke him up.) 

Kili knew there would be consequences for that disaster. 

But he was currently more concerned with settling something else, something that had become clear during his time as a pet. His eyes caught Fili's and he sent a short apology to him before he explained in detail why he had intervened in Fili's matchmaking. 

He made sure that both his uncle and his mother knew that Fili hadn't wanted any of it.  

That Fili had never said no to them before, never hid from duty, so how "could they" ask him to marry and act like he actually had a choice in the matter. Why, they were all but selling him off to the highest bidder and Fili would have accepted a lifetime of misery for a short economic boon to the mountain. 

Kili had a whole rant, all thought out, words sharpened over month and months and months of this nonsense, but he didn't need much of it before his family gave him what he wanted, without realising that that had been his goal all along. 

Thorin and Dis insisted that their happiness was their highest goal and that they would not try to marry either of them off. Of course they could wait for their One, or not marry at all if that made them happier. The matchmaking had only been because they had hoped that Fili would feel better with a Companion. 

In the end, it only took a few words in the right places, how Fili would do everything for that bloody mountain so how could they know he wouldn't pretend to be okay with it at a later time, and they had both Princes swear an oath that they would not marry for anything but the love of their One.  

Kili's included a vow to keep him away from any elves in the future. 

His brother was of course looking angrily at him the whole time. He was the only one who still saw through Kili like glass. Knew the Theatrics were deliberate. Knew he had made it sound as bad as possible and that nobody would believe Fili in this matter for quite some time. 

They would fight about it, when all was said and done, and they were finally allowed back to their room, with no eyes to watch them. 

Kili looked forward to it, to the rough and tumble, to the heated words pouring out of both of them, to feeling the weight of his brother in his arms and feel his strength when he reminded him that he saw and heard *everything*.  

That they had promised to never hide from each other and Fili had broken that promise long before the journey. 

Kili had made his choice while kneading his brothers skin with his paws, letting his rolling purr drown out the sobs and his rough tongue lap up the tears while his brother called out to the One he lost, Kili's name on his lips every night. 

He would eventually do the same in his own body, swallowing Fili's cries along with everything else Fili had wanted to give and hadn't let himself, afraid of hurting his little brother. 

But they were equals and Kili would make sure Fili finally understood that. He had their whole life for it now, with the oath to never love anyone but their One, anyone but each other, after all. 

Kili couldn't wait, and behind Fili's anger, the confusion and the fear of losing him again, well, he knew his brother inside out, and he wouldn't have to wait long at all. 

They were One, and nothing would come in between, never again.

[luna-writes-stuff]

Hum... Kili having a touchy and flirty girlfriend (Only with him) (Sorry, bad request but I wanted to send something and I don't have good ideas 😕)

Double Trouble, Kili Durin

Girlie, I don’t care whatever you send me. All that matters is that you bother to ask me to write something. Thank you so much🥺

Headcanons, female s/o (but can be read as gender neutral)

Tw: idk? Kili being Kili?

- I feel like at least 70% of the Tolkien fandom just agreed with the fact that Kili is basically a puppy. And I’m here for it.

- That being said, he loves attention. It doesn’t matter what it is or how it’s received, he loves it.

- You wrap your arm around his while you’re walking? He quickly grabs your hand with his free arm and gives it a gentle squeeze.

- You run up to him to give him a hug? He stops whatever he’s doing and runs up to you in the same speed, engulfing you in his arms and twirling you around.

- You grow bored and braid his hair? He leans into your touch, letting out a content sigh and talks to you about his day. It often helps him sleep too.

- I could write an essay about physical affection with Kili. (I just might write about it soon👀)

- And his kisses are just the sweetest. He will give you one for literally any occasion.

- Goodmorning/Goodnight kisses, rewarding kisses, joking kisses, passionate kisses, butterfly kisses, hand kisses, forehead kisses etc. etc. etc.

- He cannot get enough of it. He loves giving you kisses but he completely melts when you initiate them.

- When you’re holding his hand, give it a little kiss out of nowhere. He’ll get all flustered and red and won’t even know how to respond for a good five minutes. It’s adorable.

- He’s usually very flirty, but when you start any form of affection with him, he just loses all the clever words he has stocked up.

- But when you’re flirting, he flirts back twice as hard. No holding back. And it fuels you on to win the flirting competition.

- It’s now to the point it just becomes stupid and terrible.

- “You must be exhausted, because you’ve been running in my mind all day.” “You know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u”

- Fili is so tired of you two.

- Kili is the sweetest, though. Even as the flirting has grown into joking, he’s not afraid to shower you with compliments the entire day.

- And it’s about the tiniest things that only he notices; “Are those new earrings?” or “That color is truly yours, isn’t it?”

- But he makes cheesy remarks too. He knows they make you laugh, so he’ll casually throw them in in front of others; “Darling, your dress really compliments your eyes owo” or “My, you look quite fetching today, my love ;}”

- Return his compliments with a “You look hotter than Smaug’s flames :>” and the flirting competition is back on.

- This man absolutely treasures you. Your energy just matches and he loves it so much. He feels completely at comfort with you and won’t hold back on jokes and behavior. He’s just so happy he can be himself around you, it makes him excited to see you again.

- He has to act all serious and royal all day, so when it’s the two of you, chaos has returned. This is also the reason Thorin keeps three chairs between the two of you during royal meetings. Kili likes to make funny faces when you’re directly in front of him and when you’re beside him, he keeps teasing you by tickling you or kicking his foot against yours.

- Not very subtle, though, because Thorin noticed after two meetings.

[imnotevenhere9]

Could you perhaps write thorin (and maybe some of the other company) taking a liking to the new member of the company that's a bit tinier than the others but an excellent fighter also incredibly sweet and is a bit of a joker/sarcastic and hard to get a embarrassed or strong reaction from. Maybe she could also be a skin changer that can turn into a pine marten [since those guys are sneaky clever but fierce lil things]

Type: fluff

Summary: Thorin taking a liking to new member of the company who’s a skin changer

Word count: 347

Warnings: none

A/n: Sorry if it's not your liking! Requests are open, so feel free to send something in!

Masterlist • Prompts • S/o match ups • Taglist

tries to be subtle about it (spoiler: not really good at it)

admires your fighting skills, still can’t quite understand how someone so tiny and fragile looking can fight so well

you walking in the front with him, Balin and Gandalf because he wants you to be near him

stays up with you when you have a night watch, claiming it’s because he doesn’t trust you enough, but in reality he just wants to spend time with you and get to know you more

places his bed roll somewhere around you, so if something attacked in night, he can protect you, even tho you don’t need it

makes sure that when you change back to your human form, you have clothes prepared so you don’t have to walk around naked

thinks your animal form is cute, but would never admit it, not even after you two are married

is a bit (very) jealous when he sees you being so sweet and caring for others, but not talking to him that much

loves your sassy comebacks whenever someone (especially Kili and Fili) tease you about something

would probably just bluntly stare at you half of the time, thinking about how good you would look with a crown on your head

silently laughs at Fili and Kili trying to get a strong reaction from you and failing miserably (honestly he loves that about you- he loves everything about you- even tho he won't admit it-)

puts his fur cloak around you when you're sleeping so you won't get cold, admiring how great it looks on you and how he wish you could wear it all day, and takes it back the first thing in the morning before anyone else would wake up

he's the type to take care of you very silently claiming everything it's because he doesn't trust you, you would slow down the company if this and that happened, etc...

at this point the rest of the company is making bets whenever he would tell you after reclaiming Erebor or wouldn't be patient and tell you before

[reshirement]

Sending one right back at you :) for the OTP questions, for bagginshield, 1, 6, 12, 27, and if you’re up for it 29 & 30! (no pressure of course I know it’s a lot)

hey, no worries @sunnibits! i love these! i used to have a friend where i’d post question lists that were sometimes a mile long, and she’d come into my inbox like ‘ALL OF THEM HAHAH’ so i’d have to spend two days writing an essay. 😂 not to say i didn’t do exactly the same thing 👀 but in any case thank you for the questions!

1. Who is the most affectionate?

This is a tough one because I think they’re both very affectionate, if in different ways. Physically affectionate, Thorin is going to top out on this one. If he wants to hold Bilbo (and Bilbo doesn’t seem to be in any kind of mood to stop him in a serious manner) he’s going to hold Bilbo or take his hand, give him a kiss, wrap him in his cloak and rest his chin on top of his head, that sort of thing so there’s absolutely no mistaking how he feels. 

Bilbo, on the other hand, while he enjoys that sort of affection very much, I think would show it more in other ways. Rearranging meetings or taking on additional projects in Erebor when he thinks Thorin has too much on his plate, making sure Thorin eats more than once a day and eats well by cooking for him (honestly he will feed this dwarf hobbit style if he can get away with it, food is important), having a warm hearth, hot bath and a filled pipe ready for Thorin when he returns for the day from wherever he’s been, little daily things beyond the physical that absolutely radiate love and care.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Hm. If you asked him, I think Bilbo would mention Thorin’s blue-grey eyes, the strength of his arms, the silver-threaded fall of Thorin’s hair. Things you can wax lyrical about in a sonnet or a story, things that make sense to share in conversation. But really, his favorite bits of the dwarf are probably more intimate, personal details, like the curve of his ear, visible on the rare occasions Thorin puts his hair back in a loose tie, the slight curl of the smile hidden just under his beard when he’s teasing. The roughness of his hands, the paler, almost dainty skin of his feet always hidden by heavy boots (once he stops chuckling about them, anyhow). Pieces of Thorin that feel like they’re just Bilbo’s, those are his favorites.

As for Thorin, I think he mostly appreciates Bilbo’s softness both in face and body (something the dwarf has not had much of in his life, and indulges in with Bilbo), watching the laugh lines develop around his eyes and mouth, the smirk Bilbo gives him when the hobbit feels he’s done something exceptionally clever, or when they share a private joke. 

I also think he probably also has a fascination with Bilbo’s ears, but never brings it up because that’s just asking for a teasing volley about their pointed similarity to the ears of elves (which Thorin would vehemently disagree with both on principle and because honestly they look absolutely nothing alike, he’s spent a lot of time considering this, you see).

12. Who initiates kisses?

Depends on which part you’d consider ‘initiating.’ Thorin, for sure, is the one to swoop in for a peck on the cheek, a full snog or anything in between whenever the whim strikes him, but Bilbo is what I like to call a kiss angler. He’s the one who is going to make eye contact and tilt his head just so, or lean in just a bit too close over Thorin’s shoulder to see what he’s working on, probably with an additional, unnecessary hand on the shoulder that will tilt their faces that much closer. 

This tactic is often subtle, and is meant to draw the dwarf in without technically shifting his focus from anything else, and honestly is such a common occurrence that the movement won’t even register with Thorin before he complies and Bilbo gets his kiss (not that he would mind in the slightest!)

27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

Both of them. Thorin has nephews he raised, so I’m sure that move would be old-hat to him, and as a lighter sleeper, it would probably be him most often rising in the night to see about a child’s distress. 

I think Thorin would absolutely sing to soothe a child as a go-to method, crooning a lullaby or two, and while I’m certain Bilbo would sing as well if a child wanted him to, he’d probably have to be asked first. After all, Bilbo’s a story-teller, and more likely to offer a tale over a song to calm and distract a little one from fears in the night.

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart.

I think Frodo is right, Bilbo knew the value of the mithril quite well, but I don’t believe he knew at first when it was given to him, or had any inkling of it’s value, other than as a gift from someone he loved (whether he realized it yet or not) that he was profoundly worried about given the dragonsickness and the armies at the time. 

But eventually, Bilbo found out. Whether from a dwarf friend visiting him in his home, or an old history book he was perusing years down the line, eVENTUALLY Bilbo learned what the mithril was, how incredibly valuable, how profoundly irreplaceable, and Thorin had handed it over freely with his heartfelt ‘It is a gift’ to Bilbo whilst in the throes of dragonsickness where he trusted not even his own kin.

Now as I said, years down the line, Bilbo’s at home, he’s coping, he’s living. He’s pushed it down in the traditional hobbit style of ‘I’m going to keep everything right here and then one day I’ll die.’ (considering the people he lived with in the Shire, there wasn’t exactly another option for him.) He’d loved Thorin then, and still does, but it’s a painful, perhaps romanticized  tragedy, one that exists solely in the writers’ mind. Perhaps other than a double-handful of small moments, there was no real tangible proof that Thorin felt as he did, and it would be easy to convince himself over the years that whatever connection they appeared to have was perhaps a one-sided one. That they were dear friends, nothing more. After all, it’s easier to grieve a personal loss if it’s confined to the tragedy, and not the shape your future might have taken.

But the mithril, once the gravity of that gesture truly sinks in, what it meant, what it means. I can imagine that unlocking some terrible floodgates, and all of a sudden the battle was only yesterday and he’s grieving because Thorin loved him too, and he’s angry, furious. Angry at Thorin, angry at the both of them for not saying anything sooner, angry at himself, the dragon, the armies, the sickness. 

Angry at what he lost, what they all lost, and I can’t imagine him being anything but horrendously overwhelmed, and feeling heartbrokenly alone. I think the mithril shirt would in that very moment go from a nostalgic comfort to a terrible burden, and I believe the night that Bilbo discovered the true worth of the mithril was the same night it ended up in the mathom-house. 

30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it.

Now that that godawful headcanon is out of the way, how about this one for the book!verse? After the Battle of the Five Armies, Erebor held too many ghosts. Thorin did not fall, (though perhaps he meant to fall, what with the leaving behind of the armor before making that suicidal charge) and abdicating was not only the best option considering his actions under the goldsickness and how that might impact Erebor and future treaties with neighboring kingdoms, but also he fact that he’s lived his whole life for his people, he has succeeded in securing their ancestral home, and maybe carving his own path is now a desired option. He’s free. 

Fili and Kili also live, but don’t want the throne. They’ve been raised in the Blue Mountains, and they love their uncle, love Erebor because of Thorin, and without him there, they’re not super interested in entering the line of succession, so Bilbo and Thorin travel to the Shire because Bilbo is adamant that it would be good for him, and Fili and Kili follow. It is closer to their mother, after all, to visit back and forth. 

And perhaps the book Bilbo writes is helpful to them staying on the down-low. Everyone important in their life is sure to know the truth, so what if these three unnamed dwarves are the other hidden residents of Bag End (or perhaps, just one hidden resident and two visiting nephews), kept safe from discovery from friends and family both, and Bilbo and Thorin, somehow, had their happy ending?

tl;dr: THE LINE OF DURIN IS FINE, EVERYONE IS FINE.

[xxsiriuslupinxx-blog]

He’s An Idiot. (A Hobbit Oneshot)

Author: SongByrd

Fandom: The Hobbit. 

Characters: Mostly everyone from the Hobbit

"Why is he bleeding?" Thorin queers. He just entered the scene. His head roams from side to side looking for the culprit. If not the culprit than someone who will answer his amused question.

"Because he's an idiot." 

Balin supplies leaning back against one of the trees that swarm the river bank. He examines his nails as though this is a common question. Based off of the behavior of the past few days it's not surprising.

"I didn't know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding from the nose." Gandalf muses; clutching his staff to he chest and sporting a far-off look in his eyes.

"I think it's a new phenomenon." Fili guffaws. "You had it coming Kili." He shrugs. Kili is just sitting on the ground, compressing his nose, stunned. He didn't think that, that was a possible outcome.

My light-set feet hardly give me away, normally. This is not a normal time though. Each squelch magnifies the magnitude of fury that, before this happened I would have denied was even possible. Least of all for me! My chest heaves rage fully. My wretched eyes are betraying me as they start to leak. (Hobbits do not cry).  My mouth is white from lack of blood supply and how much force they're under. Tense shoulders creep their way up towards ears. Hands are shaking, so they are then balled into fist to end that. The ground quakes as I stomp my hairy pads across the earthy sand morphing into the spongy, mulch-ous forest floor. My hair dripping and a shade or two darker as it is currently drenched with water. I angrily thwack away the low-hanging pine tree branch from my face. (In hindsight not a good idea as I then nurse my pour, abused hand). My thunderous steps lead me away from the brothers. Especially Kili. I have been nice… enough. These blundering, well, fools is too harsh. These blundering people I've had to deal with for three days are driving me past the point of insanity. The first sign was when I agreed to accompany them three days, seven hours, thirty-eight minuets, and two seconds ago. That was when these rabble-rousers have intruded -Oh pardon me- introduced themselves to me.

It was a violet hued rose-gold evening. Stars were flickering into existence. Wind brushed the hills and swayed the trees when one barged in as though he possessed my own wonderfully warm hobbit-hole and expected me to treat him as a guest. I, of course, stiltedly obliged. What else was I to do? Thorin- as he introduced himself to be- was told to look for a special mark on a certain door in my area, and I had heard from Gandalf, the friendly wizard, earlier that day not at that time knowing that he was the one who called all the oddities to my den. My eyelids furiously blinked of their own accord and simultaiously my mouth gaped with as much grace as a fish. My forehead needed ironing as confusion clouded my squinted eyes. Thorin brushed past me accepting my lack of articulation as awe. My confoundedness did not clear any time soon because just when I had retrieved my tongue another dwarf bumbled in. These other creatures clambered into my home slowly and filled out my table and chairs. As they sat down the seats squeaked and scraped with indignation, and with each and every merry pound of their meaty fists the table ominously rattled and quivered signifying it's emanate demise.

I do not consider myself an outrageous extrovert, but on the other hand, I do not count myself an anti-social introvert either. Thus, I like company. I enjoy throwing festivities, but only when I arrange it. If nothing else, I want to have knowledge that someone is coming -much less someones. These dwarves not only forsook the civility of warning the host of possible host-age, but the supplying of sustenance as well.

They took -excuse me- scarfed down my sweet, delicious, hard-earned sesame cakes. My thick, hickory-smoked sausages were inhaled without a second thought. The various cheeses I had cultivated were fair game. My mead, rum, and other beverages were dwindled and drained as though second nature. For Bombur, which I am sure is what the fat one is called, it very well may be. After a time -meaning the cavernous stomachs were filled- Gandalf enlightened the entire party that I, Bilbo Baggins, am to be their robber. I was stunned and said no; which apparently equaled yes in my shell-shocked mind, and that lead me to scampering across the plains of my home. I abandoned my refuge to quench my adventurous thirst. I have considered myself, in the past, clever. Clever: not wise. Which leads me to my present state of mind.

The first one I have grieved over previously. In fact it was that peaceful-before-the-storm evening. The infraction was the inability to R.S.V.P; that in itself is not a horrendous habit to cultivate. You could almost cast it into a positive light, as though it helps you keep your house in order. Not only did they come over uninvited, they also relinquished me of my own food and drink. At least they clean up after themselves. On the other hand they gave me a heart attack while doing so. Plates, cups, and forks are not meant to fly.

The second one I found out on the first day of our "adventure". I was denied my second breakfast. The only one who was empathetic to me was Bombur. As a hobbit I need only a few things. A nice, clean, warm, homely hole -which I sacrificed- a supply of entertainment -which I currently have either through Kili and Fili or through the dwarves singing- and food. I asked Thorin and he responded very business-like, not unkindly, "It is a waste of resources that we will later need." For him it was business. For Hobbits? It's starvation plain and simple. One cannot in good conscious and health skip second breakfast. I have already deemed myself mad though. The Took side of my lineage possessed my mind while I dawdled by the fireplace mantle that morning. Those fair, few seconds I hithered and dithered were seconds in which I was taken advantage of. It was of mine-own conscious that wronged me, but one-one needs to know.

The third and final straw was a handkerchief, or lack there-of. That dreadful morning I found that note left behind for me was the start of my undoing. I rushed around and out the door like a nincompoop without a change of clothes, money , or even a handkerchief. How I could have made such an egregious oversight I don't know. Because I was feeling so fretful about being left behind I think it acceptable that I left my stuff at my home. The dwarves, who are trying to reclaim their home, don't -in my opinion- have that excuse. They don't have any handkerchiefs. When they need to wipe something it would be wiped off unto whatever was in reach. A coat, blanket, sleeve, neighbor -in hind sight that was mainly Kili and Fili as they found that funny and they were the youngest. I was minding my business. Staring at the river that was rippling along side our troop. Trying to keep myself in check. The boisterous brothers -as I prefer to call them- were goofing off as normal. When, out of nowhere, I. Was. Pushed. Into. The. River. A little fact about Hobbits? They. Cannot. Swim. I was lucky this lethargic body of water was also shallow. Unlike Kili and Fili's grave is going to be. I am not even going to put them into separate graves. They don't deserve that.

I contemplate what has lead me to such a tizzy: In each of the days and night of which our begrudging alliance grows so does our familiarity of each others habits. Whether that is a good or bad thing? They jury is still out. For example, Kili and Fili are the two jokesters and jesters. They both lighten the mood, but which of the two is most funny? The world will never know; I do so wish that they would sort it out instead of dueling each other with pranks. Mainly because I am the innocent victim of their squabbles. Bombur, as I mentioned earlier, is … "thick-boned". He is always the one trailing behind, but not an enormously huge length. There are many other dwarves to be mentioned, but I am not well acquainted with them. One of the only things I am beginning to understand is that dwarves are of a determined and persistent race. They may look slow and cumbersome, but they can march. Not only am I being introduced to some of the dwarves subtle -if you can call it that- nuances, but to their negative quirks as well. These quirks have happened over the course of our time together. I am thrown back to what they where and when they happened.

"YO- YOU BUFFOONS! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST pushed me into the river." My voice drops to a deadly whisper. The brother's faces echo each other's fear and apprehension. Foolish, Tookish-ness is what got me into this mess. Clear-headed, concise Baggins is what will get me out. "I have kept quiet when you turned your harmless banter into hurtful derogatory remarks about me. My size, my weight. My weight for my size. I have helped as much as I could with least amount of external complaining as possible. I let you man-handle my dishes, my chairs, my table. But no more. You will respect me as a legitimate part of your group. I did not have to sign on. I could have left your bundle off at thirteen, but did I? No. No I did not. I may not be used to this kind of lifestyle, In fact I will freely admit that, but I would like to think that I have adjusted quite well if I do say so myself." I somehow finish off coolly. Throughout the entire monologue I remained aloof. How? I genuinely don't know. Then Kili had to speak.

" You're complaining now, so that kind-of contradicts everything you just said." Kili admonishes while waggling a finger at me. I freeze for a moment. Everything happens in a blur. A dream. The peaceful bubble that cold indifference creates burst. I run forward. My fist, which I didn't notice had formed in the first place, flies. My Baggins side screams in horror while my Took side congratulates me. Who knew enacting my Took side would feel so good?