#Atsushi-kun

[r26yz]

today!

[yanaichi]

old friend

[dapopine]

[shiroganeryo]

Silly doodle to relax as I wrap up the year! I saw one of those planters and thought Dazai would definitely have that on a t-shirt.

Atsushi doesn't seem to like it though 😂

[heartless-curr]

akutgawa has some extremely complicated feelings towards dazai that i'd like to take some time to explore here, as there's a tiny bit of a misconception that ryuunosuke follows dazai's orders to a t, and i'd like to go over some of the complexities of his feelings (and actions) towards dazai! this isn't going to go over everything of course — i'm just 1 person and this is just one post — but some points that i personally wanted to discuss!

one thing i've seen a bit of (which i believe is in large part the fault of WAN) is that ryuunosuke always listens to dazai's instructions to a t without question — this is provably false.

1. When Dazai and Ryuunosuke meet in the basement, Dazai says that Ryuunosuke was never the best student, and that he was too quick to jump to action. In the Dark Era, we also see Ryuunosuke getting punished for disobeying orders. If Ryuunosuke really did hsve a history of perfectly following Dazai's orders, he wouldn't be saying any of this.

2. When Ryuunosuke and Atsushi were ordered together to fight Pushkin, Ryuunosuke defies Dazai's orders and attempts to kill Atsushi — only to leave it be because Atsushi snaps at him. If Ryuunosuke was solely deidcated to following through with Dazai's orders, he would have never attempted to kill Atsushi — instead trying his absolute best to do exactly as Dazai said.

3. When Dazai calls Ryuunsouke and asks him to save the ADA, Atsushi, and the world, Ryuunosuke initially refuses — stating that he wouldn't save Atsushi. It's only after Ryuunosuke realizes that Dazai wanted him and Atsushi to be SSKK as a way to give his life meaning — aka an actual justifiable reason for this — that Ryuunosuke agrees to do it. ryuunosuke is more than capable of saying no to dazai if he thinks what he's asking is unreasonable, or if he simply does Not Want To Do It.

a lot of people are under the misconception that ryuunosuke listens to everything dazai says without question — and so the question i'd like to ask here is "why".

a part of it is definitely WAN portraying this sort of dynamic where ryuu will do anything and everything for dazai without question or fail — however, i don't think that's the only reason why. i'd argue that this scene is another main reason why this misinterpretion of ryuunosuke's character, and his dynamic with dazai, happens so frequently:

however, if it's not ryuunosuke being mindlessly obedient — why is he acting like this?

the answer is simple: he wants to prove himself to dazai.

ryuunosuke has been shown having a lot of negative feelings towards dazai; and if you examine those further, a lot of them can be explained by him resenting dazai for "tossing him aside," and "discarding him". when dazai plants the idea of atsushi being his replacement, he even physically lashes out (not even the first time he does this during the basement scene):

during this scene, ryuunosuke also makes a comment here that i think is relevant:

this seems to me as either a very targeted statement; or a bit of a freudian slip.

ryuunosuke is almost always the first one to bring up dazai's "betrayal" of the mafia, and in dead apple, he gets infuriated with dazai for working with shibusawa — promising to kill him. i'd postulate that it is, in part, because he's still hurt and betrayed over dazai's departure from the PM, so watching Dazai run off with another "enemy" is to ryuunosuke the equivalent of twisting the knife in the wound.

ryuunosuke, the few times we see him want to commit murder for personal gain, always seemingly needs a personal justification for said murder — and so obviously, he thinks about taking it here. dazai leaving the mafia 4 years ago hurt him in a way that he's still dealing with the consequences of.

it's also why he gets angry and resentful towards atsushi — he was told that atsushi is his replacement.

ryuunosuke wants to be seen as strong and worth something — he wants the man he dedicated his life to, who was supposed to be his reason to live and make his life worthwhile, to look at him again. he wants to be taken back in, and he's willing to do anything to convince dazai that he can do a "proper job" — hence the single-minded determination we see in front of dazai, and why he feels comfortable attempting to kill atsushi away in secret despite the mission. if the replacement dies where he succeeded, clearly dazai has no choice but to take the clearly superior original back, right?

there are a lot more complexities to their relationship than just this — especially when you start looking at dazai's end of this all. there is more to discuss on ryuunosuke's end, but for this post, this is where i end it!! thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings.

[banner by @reapers-edits]

[taserstunter]

[lordofthesillystraws]

18 hours of this guy. i can never get enough.

[atsuosohell]

死ぬな

[moeatsushi]

eek!!! unexpected emotional intimacy!!!!

[wewerebornsextuplets]

over by the window, there's a pack of cigarettes / not my brand, you understand, sometimes the girl forgets

[tottymatsuuu]

collab i did with @totmatsu where we color each others lineart ! here are my lines and the colors i did for his lines !

the both of us happened to have this idea so we decided why not hehe

find the other half of the collab here!

[uzi-x33]

they would be besties😞🙏

trust chattt😭 iruma is so gender and atsushi is so gay, they both have horrible parents nd have better parental figure now, they’re both very traumatized and have such similar traits and personalities TRUSSTT😭😭😭🙏

[yanaichi]

then vs now

[dapopine]

🌸

[ask-atsushi-kun]

so i can already kinda guess what your opinion of todomatsu is, but what about his brothers? have you met any of them?

"Oh yeah, I've met all of them! Karamatsu was the first of his brothers that I met, actually. I don't really get why most of them don't like me but I'm sure they'll come around eventually."

{teehee tjis is so fun}

[celiascarlet]

the atsutodo