#Autobot Guzzle

[driver270]

Lost Lesson 🤖☕️

Sentinel really should've paid attention to Guzzle's words, considering what happened to the Sparkabot on Garrus 9.

[mychlapci]

End of celibacy week celebration!!!

Megatron with 2 spikes fucking Deadlock and Ratchet at the same time. Deadlock's big milky tits press into Ratchet's back as he pulls him in to bite and lick his neck cables while he bounces on his master's fat spike. Ratchet is a drooling, whiney mess begging for Megatron to let him overload and all it gets him is Megatron's fingers in his mouth, shutting him up while he sucks on them.

Megatron's gonna get his new pet autobot and his pretty commander sparked up, it's a good thing the two seem to play nice even without Megatron around. They'll take turns spiking each other, but neither can bring each other to overload without their master's permission. Later on Megatron will let them sit in his lap on his throne, fucking Ratchet on one spike facing away from him and fully displayed for any passing decepticon and Deadlock towards him, pounding his spike into his gestation seal while Megatron guzzles energon from his tits.

Hgrhhh YES i have such a soft spot for these three, actually.

Megatron has two spikes... so he can fuck them both at the same time, loving to watch them squeal and moan as they cuddle and make out sloppily under him. They're such good little wives, especially when their bellies are swollen and their titties are leaking. He'll often come home to find his favourite commander and his favourite autobot rubbing their pregnant valves against each other, shaking with the effort it takes to wait for his permission to cum.

He'll gladly take them to the throne room and parade them around, fucking both Deadlock and Ratchet for everyone to see. And once their bellies are too big for the both of them to fit into his lap at the same time, he'll just have them sit at his sides and rub their bumps against his spikes until he overloads.

[yayasvalveplay]

In Earthforce, Mixmaster was actually in the business of dealing Syk to other Decepticons, keeping in mind this drug is banned by both factions. This is something Soundwave knew about thanks to his mind reading and kept hold of it for blackmail.

So imagine Mixmaster has this underground Syk ring that sells to mainly Autobots as a way to get more oil money for him and Scrapper. It’s mainly Autobots because they need the drugs to forget about their hell. Soundwave still knows and is still having it for blackmail.

Mixmaster and Scrapper are Megop children. Megatron wouldn't allow his kids near that kind of crowd.

He has those two under his arms, they are Decepticon loyalist. And thus they are very different from their og counterparts.

They are still loud and a bit rowdy, but they arnt oil guzzling bimbos who are lazy. They work, especially since they are the warlords kids. They have high expectations, and use that knowledge with pride.

It could be someone else entirely.

[brandwhorestarscream]

tfe tarantulas x tfe prowl

We don't know a lot (read: anything) about TFE Prowl, so I'm gonna improvise and say he's mostly true to his G1 iteration, if a bit more jaded and tired. He hasn't seen Tarantulas in Primus knows how long, probably several million years in a non-war context. We don't even know what happened to spider dad. Last we saw he was getting chased by GHOST trying to protect owl baby.

So I'm gonna say they're both on the run and run into each other while siphoning energy to make their own energon on the go. Prowl wasn't willing to work with GHOST or with Megatron, so he split and is now quietly in hiding. It's lonely, and the isolation is starting to get to him. He runs smack into his old flame (who's still hot). Neither of them want to fight, they're just trying to live and not be dragged off to be experimented on. One thing leads to another and they end up living together. They're both introverted hermits. They're perfect roommates lol

It's not long before they start casually facing, and soon after old feelings start to creep back in. It's hard not to, there's just. There's so much history there. Maybe this time, in this context, their relationship isn't doomed to fail. They're both bad at feelings and intimate communication but... they're trying.

I think, after the brief encounter with Nightshade, Tarantulas has caught a bit of baby fever. He's not actively planning it, god no, but he catches himself fondly recalling Nightshade and missing them. Thinking how nice it was to have them around, how they were so bright and full of potential and how good it felt to have an eager little student he could teach. He knew them for such a short time but he was and still is so proud of them. He wants that again. Craves it. And I think, with this desire, his body acts on it's own. Starts storing transfluid rather than filtering it out, dutifully filling his gestation tank to prepare for the newspark he clearly wants so badly.

It's not too long, maybe a year, before Prowl notices his partner acting strangely. He's getting weirdly moody and snappy, he's been spending more and more time in alt mode, and he's gotten strangely territorial. Often hissing at Prowl and stomping his front legs at him, guarding the door to his room (they've got an underground burrow-hideout thing). Even doing little faux charges at him to keep him back. Inwardly, he sighs: Tarantulas's psyche and instincts adapted and evolved quite a bit when he took this form. This is some kind of strange arachnid behavior and he's not sure what it is, but surely it will eventually pass, right?

Tarantulas starts guzzling all the fuel they have, gulping down cube after cube with hardly a breath between. Prowl's never seen someone binge like that and he's worried he's going to rupture his fuel tank! Tries to get him to stop and talk to him, and Tarantulas nearly bites him in turn. Promptly scuttles back into his room and begins webbing up the door. Prowl is at a loss.

Inside, Tarantulas has made so many webs there's hardly a clean surface left, and he's made himself a collection of hammocks strung up in corners and on the walls, everywhere he can reach. There's at least a dozen web slings, he has to have the perfect one!

Unlike organic tarantulas, he lays only 3 eggs rather than dozens. They're much bigger compared to his body though, and he very, very carefully wraps them up in an egg sac and nestles it in the warmest, safest spot of his nest. He then promptly collapses and knocks out for like 16 hours, because labor is a lot of work!

When he finally wakes up he's sore and still exhausted, but now his head is clear from the egg-haze and realizes he should probably-definitely talk to Prowl. He's... really nervous, honestly. It's not like they're bonded. The autobot could just walk out and there's nothing he could do to really stop him short of restraining and holding him captive. But that's an option he's really not interested in.

Prowl isn't surprised at all. He found a forum of spider enthusiasts on earth, plugged in all the symptoms, and basically got the response of "your girl is about to become a mama good luck lol" and he spent the last 16 hours frantically researching everything he possibly could. He knows plenty about newspark care but very little about spiders and he has no idea exactly how much of their biology Tarantulas wrote into his new alt mode when he was designing it, so he wants to be as prepared as possible. He lets Tarantulas break the news and his first question is just, "How many are there?" really hoping the answer won't be 20+ because that's a lot of mouths to feed. He's so relieved when it's only triplets. That's far more manageable.

The sparklings incubate for a few weeks in their eggs and it gives the expectant parents a bit of time to prepare, stockpiling fuel and making space and contingency plans for them. They already have escape plans if GHOSTs' hunters find them, but having bitties changes the game. Their survival becomes the top priority, and they have to make hard decisions about who will escape with them and how, who will have a better chance at keeping them safe and alive if or when they have to relocate.

Watching them hatch is an exciting ordeal, and they're all thankfully healthy: a little purple and white one, another that's black and green, the final one white and deep blue. Idk if Tarantulas was able to alter his very CNA when he changed his mode (usually that doesn't happen, but he's such a mad scientist he could theoretically have done so). If he did, at least one is a tiny spiderling. If not, then one has Prowl's original praxian alt mode, and the other two have their carrier's original mode, whatever that may be.

The triplets are just darling, painfully cute and very affectionate, tumbling out of their eggs and immediately reaching for their carrier and sire. They're good parents, all things considered, taking turns going on energon runs and making life underground as bright and fulfilling as possible for their children. They already have the whole... thing... with Springer, so parenthood isn't exactly new to them. They know what they're doing, for the most part, but juggling 3 at once is definitely more challenging! Tarantulas at least has extra limbs and webs to wrangle them, but they run poor Prowl ragged! He loves them so, so much though, and never complains.

Tarantulas would probably love to introduce them to Nightshade, someday, but I don't realistically know if that will be possible. Maybe, after GHOST is defeated, the little family decides to take a trip to see Tarantulas' little owlet 🤭 Nightshade would be all over them, and over the moon when spider dad asks them to be their honorary godsibling. I'd love to see the terrans babysitting while their parents are doing god knows what. Nightshade probably ferries them around the lab and tries to teach them Science™. Taraprowl are so proud :')

[anony-man]

Chubformers drabble #122!

Character: Starscream (TFA)

Word count: 1k

Earth was not changing him, he repeated under his breath, and he was not getting fat, no matter what Megatron seemed to think. It was a mantra that he had been reciting to himself all evening, and much to his disappointment, the empty words weren’t enough to make the belief stick. 

Starscream knew better than to let a few petty words from nearly every Con residing on earth get to him, but the balance between convincing himself that there was little to worry (or even care) about and actually believing his own self-assurances was challenging at best. It had only taken one crude comment from Megatron following an attempt at usurping the Autobots gone horribly wrong for the topic to come up, and only once was really all it took to get the flier’s gears twisted.

So maybe he had thrown the blame on his idiotic subordinates in a fit of absolute rage while he paced back and forth in front of Megatron’s perch while their disgruntled leader rubbed his face with a servo, all while punctuating the endless rant with groans and sighs. He wasn’t having any of it, that much was for certain, but Starscream still needed to convince him that the blame wasn’t to fall entirely on his shoulders, but on the other Decepticons, too.

Megatron was less tolerant of Starscream’s apparent temper tantrum, as he so eloquently described it, and was quick to put an end to Starscream’s furious attempts at explaining his own side of the story. Easier to blame one mech for the troubles of your team than pick out the actual problems, he supposed. Hell, if that bucket-helmed idiot would finally get some sense kicked into him, then—

“I’ve lost all faith in you, Starscream,” Megatron had said aloud, stopping Starscream’s long-winded rant in its tracks. “That slender frame grows bigger with every passing day, and yet your habit of saving your own aft and running your slagging mouth still prevails… Primus help us all, I really am surrounded by idiots.”

Muttered vents slipped past his servos between sighs wasn’t out of the ordinary for Megatron when his second was stuck in a flighty mood, but even that seemed a bit harsh coming from him. Starscream’s shouting cries and pointing fingers died out as he stood in place and sputtered over his words, a look of utter indignation replacing the fearful anger he’d worn only seconds before. 

“I—wha… b—BIGGER?” he shouted, his voice breaking out in static against the sheer pitch. “I am not—!”

The hushed snorting from the foolish Cons who stood by Megatron’s side proved him otherwise, and it was Blitzwing’s voice that rang out with laughter and followed him as he stomped out of the room.  

He wasn’t the one guzzling their reserves like it was the last thing left to do, that was for sure. Even so, it was one thing to adapt to a changing world when war was afoot and energon was low and another to adjust his livelihood to the semi-advanced world of earth in a big city. That was all hypothetical, of course, which meant Starscream still stood by his previous statements.  

He was not getting fat. He wasn’t! 

The evening was spent in a slump. When he wasn’t knocking back cubes of diluted energon like it was some high level alcohol sourced from their planet, he was slumped in his berth and pinching at the start of pudge poking through from the protomesh lining his frame or pacing the floors and asking himself just what he had done wrong here. 

Megatron’s words had stung, and Starscream was sure that that had been the intention. Still, there was something that lingered in the exasperation of his leader’s voice and the harsh reality of the insult—or dare he say statement, as there was obviously some truth behind the words—that left him feeling… unsettled. 

How long had they been stuck here on earth, scrambling for that stupid fragment? Starscream wasn’t sure, but he could tell by just feeling up his frame that things had definitely changed between leaving their planet’s atmosphere and landing here. 

This wasn’t possible, really. Most mechas experienced some forms of change at least once in their lives, but it hardly ever happened so fast. Unless, of course…

Unless…

“Curse him and his foolish words,” Starscream spat, still pacing the floors as he huffed and growled and prayed for the sudden downfall of Megatron’s success. “Curse him and his giggly band of idiots!”

Megatron, a mech of many flaws, so readily poked those unworthy fingers in Starscream’s direction. Megatron claimed that he of all mechs was taking far more than his fair share of their fuel while dragging along behind them. It was ridiculous. It was absolutely absurd!

Starscream gave the half-empty glass of energon in his servo a swirl, his face twisted into a permanent scowl. The near-constant string of repeated reassurances he told himself wasn’t doing much to quell his nerves, but something was better than nothing, and he would have rather made an attempt at putting an end to the mind games Megatron pulled on him than dare risk letting their leader’s words get to his head. 

His time on earth wasn’t changing him extraordinarily, that much he knew. Adapting to the new environment always meant some level of change, but that didn’t mean—well, that wasn’t an excuse for… Never mind. He wasn’t getting fat, and he wasn’t growing any bigger, much like Megatron liked to believe.

A sip of his glass turned into draining it all in one go. Starscream stared down at the bottom, watching the streaks of energon run down the sides and pool into a small puddle in the corners. He knew he shouldn’t, especially not when it meant proving Megatron right, but drowning his sorrows in another glass of fuel as he pinched at his protruding belly and moped over the realization that his leader was, unfortunately, probably right, seemed like the best course of action if he were to make any headway in actually convincing himself otherwise.

Earth wasn’t actually changing him, that was for sure. Megatron could believe it all he wanted, though, but Starscream knew the truth—or the side of the truth he wanted to believe. He just had to keep repeating it, and eventually it would start to stick.

[113-degrees-of-separation]

(Part 5) Bullets: A Last Stand of the Wreckers story.

Springer stood alone on the command deck of Debris, a crumbling Autobot space station in orbit around Klo, and stared at 12 names on a computer screen.

In his right hand he was holding an Autobot bullet (of sorts) that had been fired by a Decepticon (of sorts). The bullet was, in fact, a benign projectile: inside there was no vein of combustible energon, just a data chip containing the latest report from Agent 113, an Autobot working undercover at the Decepticon Justice Division. The name was misleading: it was the DJD's job to scour their own ranks for dissidents and turncoats, and then murder them. Information provided by Agent 113 often led the Autobots to Decepticons who, being dissidents and turncoats, were willing to betray their ex-comrades in exchange for protection against reprisals.

"Your friend has a funny way of making contact," First Aid had said when he'd got in touch three days earlier, and he was right. Terrified of being detected, the increasingly eccentric Agent 113 had developed a unique way of reporting his findings. Instead of, say, a midnight rendezvous on the steps of the Chomskian Embassy, he would wait until the DJD attacked some Autobots and then shoot the 'enemy' with a data-laced bullet. Springer had had to make sure that select medics at key facilities were always on the lookout for Agent 113's calling card: a single bullet hole in the right 'eye' of an Autobot symbol.

With his latest communiqué, Agent 113 had relayed concerns within the DJD that nothing had been heard of Garrus-9 since the Autobot prison had been overrun by Sky Quake's Predators during the early stages of the Surge. The DJD had despatched an exploratory force to investigate. They'd never come back.

Springer had shared this information with High Command, who- on the basis of an earlier report from Agent 113 - had originally concluded that G-9 had been utterly destroyed. They were now faced with the possibility that Fortress Maximus and Co had not only survived the Surge, but were repelling Decepticon invasion parties while waiting to be rescued. All of which had led Prowl to contact Springer to discuss plans for Operation: Retrieval.

Springer would have preferred a more inspiring name, but it was typical of Prowl to opt for something clinical and detached. Fort Max and his team didn't need 'retrieving', they needed rescuing. Drab name aside, Operation: Retrieval was why he was doing what Impactor and Crest and Hyperion before him had done: staring at names on a screen and deciding who he would ask to join the Wreckers.

Guzzle had never held the Matrix before.

The object in his hand was the perfect weight: heavy enough to matter, to tug on the wire sinews in his forearm, but easy to carry. A good size, too: portable, but big enough to stop Decepticons in their tracks. Best of all was the way it felt: the perfect union of holder and held, it sang in his grip.

Guzzle had never held the Matrix before and probably never would, but surely it could never feel as satisfying, as fundamentally right, as it felt when he picked up The Judge, his favorite handgun.

He'd lived an itinerant life of late, latching onto a succession of Autobot squads in the hope of recapturing the sense of belonging that he'd felt when serving in his old platoon. He'd decided to help with Dipstick's reconstruction project until he came across something better suited to his talents (those talents chiefly consisting of the ability to insert various deadly projectiles into various deadly Decepticons). And while the thrill of close combat hadn't entirely deserted him, this most unreflective of robots had recently identified a certain… hollowness inside him. His first reaction, of course, had been to seek medical help. Fixit had carried out a full body search and, finding no internal cavities, suggested that the hollow feeling was not an early indication of corrodia gravis but "an emotional response". Guzzle had pondered this at length, until a pang of acute discomfort had heralded the arrival of bona fide insight: he was in mourning. Most of his old platoon had died trying to rescue Kup, and he was still struggling to accept their deaths and the circumstances surrounding them.

His new life on Igue Moor - a fuel depot on the outskirts of Babu Yar- had settled into a reassuring rhythm. Every day, a few hours before dawn, he and The Judge would go outside and shoot statues. If he'd felt a flicker of guilt when he'd first started using the remains of Sacred Debating Chamber as a firing range, he hadn't recognized it as such.

He loaded a handful of tracer bullets into his gun and looked around for today's first target. On the statue of Babu Fost, the Great Pacifist, he found it: a forehead scar. He slid his green targeting visor over his optics and was beginning to squeeze the trigger when the unthinkable happened: he stopped. This frightened him; he'd always seen a gunshot through. He wondered whether his overworked trigger finger had seized up, but no, Fixit had only last week given him new digits. Which meant that this was something else entirely: another 'feeling'. Something, he sensed, to do with his own mortality. Thankfully, the moment passed quickly and he felt sufficiently at ease with himself to unload an entire magazine of tracers into the Great Pacifist's head.

For some reason the luminous green tracer trails did not fade away. Instead, they hovered over the floor of the Sacred Debating Chamber and began gathering themselves up. They started flickering. Then rippling. Then shimmering.

The Judge slipped from Guzzle's new fingers.

Previous | Next

[doctorleviathan]

Hey friends/mutuals/maybe followers who know at least an itty bit about my rats

If Other wins I'll just make a new poll Here's my toyhou.se of characters Read More for the characters and their dynamics

Pathtracer and Crankflight Happy autobot and grumpy ex-con make sweet hot love, con pretends he aint interested at first but would now die for that silly autobot

Wheeljack and Thermite They are good friends who love explosions and work well together

Guzzle and Jerkit Wrecker friends with benefits really, Jerkit adores the guy but knows nothing will come of it. Doomed Yaoi.

Spec and Krim Both had a strong passion for something, got it ripped away. Spec lost all passion, while Krim got it back even stronger

Boo and Cherri Lesbians who love eachother very much, Cherri is very outgoing while Boo is more quiet and a bit of nerd. I love these two so much

Atalas and Giwsk They have never even met, they're just probably the two oldest OCs I have lol

Spec and Starfall They often have to work together since Starfall is security and Spec is data management, Starfall finds Spec boring and passionless

[suleforgeraskmogahn]

Are we ever going to get a GI Joe X transformers crossover, like a actual one instead of Viper being in some GI Joe stories on Suleforger continuity?

Well theirs some good news on that, but I have to start with the bad news first.

Seeing as to how Suleforger Continuity has developed, I must tell everybody upfront that a GI Joe X Transformers crossover in the main continuity would be quite different then the official crossovers in TF canon. It won't be this big battle between the main Autobots and the Main Decepticons with Cobra and GI Joe as supports, it will be more of a skirmish with Viper and Munitia being the main villains.

That said, with some GI Joe projects in the works, I'm happy to announce on My writers behalf:

Transformers vs GI Joe will be one of the next miniseries made on Suleforger Continuity after the current Croc master 3-part special is finished being published, with Guzzle and Smokescreen being the main Protagonists!

[swordwing2117]

Guzzle  IDW Wreckers

[askvectorprime]

Why omega suprime was so weak in g1 season 3.

Dear Guzzling Guardian,

Decepticon domination on Cybertron by 2005 critically impacted the Autobots' war effort on Earth. Optimus Prime had the tough decision between rationing energon to the newly-formed Autobot City and Metroplex, or to Omega Supreme's deep space missions to attack Decepticon outbreaks throughout the galaxy. Optimus decided the right call was to fortify Autobot City and strengthen Autobot presence on Earth and withdraw from galactic skirmishes.

Omega understood the decision, and was reassigned to Ark defense—as a Guardian Robot he felt honored by the duty. However, he was wounded protecting the Ark during the Battle of Autobot City, and because energon reserves were so low, he was never fully re-energized until the Second Golden Age of Cybertron.

[rxng]

"Long ago, the world was split into a pyramid. An unfair, cruel pyramid. And those that survived long enough under it began rising up, taking up arms to prove their point."

"Some of that group joined the less-violent of those indisposed, forming a new faction. The first were Decepticons, then Autobots. And Autobots followed the last Prime, while Decepticons followed... a miner?"

"The War they waged guzzled up already poor energon stores. So everyone left Cybertron, ravaging the galaxy. Eventually, they came to Earth and..."

"... no. The rest is still foggy. It's-- a lot to recall."

"I was an... Autobot? I followed someone there. I think I debated, but... that person was very special."

"I don't remember ever wearing a badge. I think I kept losing it."

"... is that right?"

[driver270]

Better Out Than In 🤖☕️

Not my neighborhood, BTW.

[yayasvalveplay]

Gasoline is the junk food of the cybertronian world. After a bad break up you can find Autobots and Decepticons alike at the gas pump just guzzling.

Gasoline being the equivalent of icecream to us humans, is the funniest thing i have never thought about. But im useing it, if it ever comes down to that

[glovestudiosart]

Here's the largest commission I've ever done. The dimensions of the full piece are 88" by 68", consisting of 32 11"x17" inch illustration boards.

Took five years to finish in between other projects. All together it kind of makes a nice 35 year anniversary image for the franchise actually in my opinion.

Not every Transformers is represented here, but the following 140 characters plus three ships are:

#Primus

#Computron

#Smokescreen

#Cosmos

#SkyLynx

#Springer

#Superion

#Hubcap

#Trailbreaker

#Skids

#Mirage

#Sideswipe

#Arcee

#Kup

#WreckGar

#Hound

#Powerglide

#Rattrap

#Scrounge

#Doublecross

#Grotesque

#Repugnus

#Ark (Ship)

#Blurr

#Drift

#Broadside

#Brawn

#FortressMaximus (IDW)

#Chromia

#OmegaSupreme

#Metroplex

#Seaspray

#Beachcomber

#Quickswitch

#Tracks

#Wheeljack

#Ironhide

#Bluestreak

#Pipes

#Mainframe

#Ratchet

#Bulkhead

#Inferno

#Windblade

#Ironfist

#Guzzle

#Whirl

#Tailgate

#LostLight (Ship)

#RedAlert

#Huffer

#Windcharger

#Nautica

#Swerve

#Prowl

#Bumblebee

#Rodimus

#FortressMaximus (G1)

#Defensor

#Gears

#Eject

#Jetfire

#Impactor

#Rotorstorm

#Sandstorm

#Blaster

#Rewind

#Chromedome

#Steeljaw

#Aileron

#Jazz

#Optimus

#Ramhorn

#Outback

#Hardhead

#Perceptor

#Warpath

#Swoop

#Snarl

#Bumblebee

#Roadster

#UltraMagnus

#Elita1

#Sludge

#Slag

#Grimlock

#Gnarl (#Sharkticon)

#Menasor

#Reflector

#Galvatron

#Abominus

#Unicron

#Skywarp

#Breakdown

#Cyclonus

#Scourge

#Dreadwing

#Squawkbox

#Devastator

#Ratbat

#Buzzsaw

#Nemesis (Ship)

#Slugslinger

#Weirdwolf

#Starscream

#Predaking (#Prime)

#TidalWave

#Trypticon

#Lockdown

#Ramjet

#Bombshell

#Thrust

#Rumble

#Kickback

#Shrapnel

#Dirge

#Laserbeak

#Soundwave

#Nova Prime

#Bruticus

#Kremzeek

#Sunstorm

#Scorponok

#Megatron

#Predaking

#Overlord

#Thundercracker

#Ravage

#Blitzwing

#Needlenose

#TheFallen

#Tarn

#Mindwipe

#Vos

#Helex

#Tesaurus

#Kaon

#Frenzy

#Shockwave

#BlackArachnia

#Knockout

#Sixshot

#Octane

#Astrotrain

#Transformers #G1 #Autobots #Decepticons #Predacons #Prime #Wreckers #Protectobots #Combaticons #Constructicons #Dinobots #Aerialbots #Stunticons

[anony-man]

Chubformers drabble #49!

Character: Bumblebee (G1)

Word count: 636

Boy, did Bee enjoy his nights off!

There were certainly benefits to lingering in the common rooms on days like this. Ending week of heavy duties and long days with a night in was always the kickstart to a good break, and tonight, Bee was looking forward to a good bit of old-fashioned indulgence.

Not only was he one of the few bots left lounging in the mess hall, Bee was one of the only few coherent Autobots awake and aware. Some well-deserved stuffing was long overdue, and Bee was right next to his nearly infinite source… and with no risk of embarrassment, either.

A quick cube to appease his voracious appetite was always a requirement, and Bee guzzled the fuel as fast as he possibly could. Once he was finally satisfied, he could begin entertaining his sweet tooth—and dipping his pedes into a few of his favorite activities. No present audience meant Bee was free to be as gluttonous as he pleased, and the little scout spared no time in gathering up a sizable spread for his weekly routine.

To cleanse his palate, Bee had gotten a nice jug of the good stuff; the bubbly, fizzy engex that warmed his belly and left the sweetest aftertaste with every sip was definitely something he didn’t want to forget. In addition to the drinks, Bee had scrounged up some of the leftover treats from their weeks’ baking experiments. Half the foods on his plate were either stale or overly sweet, given that they’d been sitting untouched for days now, but Bee hardly minded one bit. He was mostly interested in the post-feeding results, after all.

Treating the spread like a platter of finger foods, Bee picked his way through each and every dessert as he drank the jug of engex. It was slow work, but nothing ever beat the feeling of his tanks filling up with each bite. The sensation was comforting, addictive, and Bee loved every second of it. However, in true fashion, he grew impatient rather quickly. Nearly half the plate was left untouched before Bee went in like a wild beast, servos snatching up handfuls of treats to shovel into his face.

Bee ate and ate and ate, and he chugged and chugged and chugged. Before long, his pudgy belly had grown into a sizable dome, the swell of fattened mesh pushing up beneath his chest plating. Bee fumbled with the armor for a few moments, struggling to get a good grip on it that would release some of the built-up pressure. Given his sudden increase in size, it wasn’t much of a challenge, and the plating was popping off in no time.

Bee gave a long, loud sigh of contentment… and then stopped, his optics going wide as he sat upright in his chair.

The relief was immense, but the sudden release of pent-up fat was almost too much for his poor stuffed belly to handle. Bee’s fingers hovered over the rumbling, quivering mass of his gut, hesitant to even *touch*. For a moment, he was almost afraid he’d gone too far. The rumbling seemed to reach its peak, and Bee leaned forward, hunched over his bloated belly, prepared for the worst—

BUUUUUUUUUUUURUP!

Ohhh, what a relief. With another dramatic sigh, Bee sagged back down into his chair. He gave his belly an affectionate pat, pleased with the results, and was more than ready to go back to chugging when he was interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open.

“Optimus!” Bee said, his optics locking with Optimus’ startled expression. “I, ah… sorry about that.”

“Goodness, Cliffjumper,” Optimus said, already lowering himself down into one of the nearest chairs—likely from the shock of it all. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Well then… wrong place, wrong time, he supposed.

[thanksjro]

Last Stand of the Wreckers PsyOps records- Can we PLEASE Hire Some More Mental Health Specialists?

Rung gets a lot of play in the Last Stand of the Wreckers bonus materials. He was still more of a play-on-words as opposed to an actual character at the time, so I suppose it makes sense.

Rotorstorm walked into his appointment with Rung and immediately started hyping himself up. That’s very telling. When Rung asked about his time at Simanzi, he sort of shut down and wasn’t able to hide behind his defense mechanism of being the funniest, coolest, bravest, all-around-bestest guy in the room.

Rotorstorm was basically born, then thrown into the Aerial Program, where all that awful stuff with Jetstream happened. Dude was beating up an infant.

Motherfucker’s got some trauma, obviously, but apparently that’s not enough to disqualify him from Wrecker duty. Wrecker duty that he didn’t even want, I should add.

You gotta sign up for the Wrecker roster; he’d been on it before, but had dropped out to teach instead. Either someone set this poor guy up to die, or Jetstream was wrong this whole time and he really just is that good. Not that it mattered much- the damage is done. Rotorstorm has crippling self-doubt, and is also dead.

Pyro suffers from a programming disorder known as primus apotheosis, identified by the sufferer’s need to emulate the great Optimus Prime. Many Autobots are afflicted with this disorder, and even a few Decepticons have been known to have it. The fact that Pyro had primus apotheosis makes panels like this:

-all the more sad. This is a guy who’s had his own personality overwritten- by his own hero worship- in an attempt to be greater than himself. Pyro is by no means a slouch when it comes to saving the day- he saved an entire platoon of Autobots as a member of the Resistance.

Then Simanzi happened.

There isn’t a ton known about the Simanzi Massacre, only that it was so bad, the Cybertronian population was halved by the time it was over. Pyro would have been just another statistic, had it not been for Optimus Prime’s intervention. Does survivor’s guilt have some part in his disorder? It’s certainly possible. All that can be said for sure is that nobody got out of Simanzi unscathed.

Pyro was approved for the Wreckers with reservations, seeing as primus apotheosis sufferers can and will sacrifice themselves for others if given any wiggle room in which to do so. The Wreckers were just lucky that Pyro wanted to go out in style. It didn’t really work for him, but points for trying.

Guzzle isn’t his legal name. Much like Chromedome, he’s called what he’s called due to meddling with the war. Originally Pneumatix, and a forklift of all things- the name being a play on the word “Pneumatic”, because forklifts work by using compressed air to lift things- he entered the Body Augmentation Program. This turned him into something called a ruination tank. That’s why his turret accounts for nearly half of his height- they basically turned a Mini Cooper into a weapon of mass destruction. Because he’s meant to be actually very tiny, his body compensates for the added stress by being so insanely fuel-inefficient, he has to constantly eat. Thus the nickname.

Guzzle didn’t exactly impress Rung at his appointment, coming across as a rather cold, distant individual when it came to his own emotions, describing his own near-death experience at the hands of the Decepticons in terms of what weaponry was used to try to kill him. Still, he was approved for the Garrus-9 mission.

It’s at this point that you have to wonder just how many people are actually on the waiting list for this group.

First Aid about had a panic attack when he thought Springer was inviting him to join the Wreckers, so it’s obviously a known thing that members don’t last terribly long, or at least, it’s something that can be inferred through reading about them.

Looking at past members, it’s rather telling what sort of person is attracted to the Wrecker lifestyle; Whirl is an emotional powder keg that’s constantly trying to light his own fuse, Impactor defied wartime sanctions to murder the his rivals, Roadbuster is a hardcore drug abuser who ripped someone’s spine out, and Kup can only function in polite society if he’s smoking medicinal marijuana at all times. These are not stable individuals. Springer is the odd exception, and I’m counting Perceptor as a borderline case, because he went through a massive personality shift that led him to where he was within the group. He may appear “normal” when compared to the others, but that guy’s for sure got some issues that he keeps close to his chest.

Given all of this, it’s not really much of a leap to say that Rotorstorm got thrown back on the list because they didn’t have anyone else who wanted in on this madness. It’s also not much of a leap to say that the only reason any of these guys got approved to join was because there weren’t any other options. The psych-screenings were probably just done as a professional obligation at that point. Rung, for all his faults, was likely working with what he’d been given.

I’m not exactly sure where these profiles were meant to reside within Last Stand’s timeline, given that Rotorstorm and Pyro are classified as being probably alive, whereas Ironfist is not.

Ironfist spends a good portion of his appointment with Rung fanboying over the Wreckers, as he is wont to do. When he actually gets around to talking about himself, he’s not nearly as eloquent or organized. Rung did not approve Ironfist for the mission, based solely on his lack of experience in the field of busting heads. He only got on the team due to Prowl’s interference, as has been established before.

Fisitron is revealed to have been a writer of many talents, publishing articles for all ages and reading levels. He was an author you could grow up on.

Impactor’s profile was written at the time of his probationary hearing, and it seems to imply that Rung may be a bit of an idiot. He had dismissed the guard who was present, in an attempt to get Impactor to be more open with him. This went about as well as that sort of thing usually goes for the only mental health specialist on all of Cybertron.

Looks like someone’s got a fear of mnemosurgery. With this little event in his past, it’s very surprising that Rung tried to offer it to Fortress Maximus in MTMTE #6.

Maybe Rung accidentally stuck a really big magnet to the side of his head at some point, thus erasing his memory files, because I know that I sure wouldn’t be offering that sort of thing if this was the average reaction to it.

After Impactor had had his moment, he shared some of his war stories with Rung- apparently his lack of a right hand was inspired by meeting Death’s Head.

Though Death’s Head isn’t directly named, it’s pretty obvious that’s who it’s intended to be, given that he’s mentioned as “ricocheting from universe to universe after leaping through an exploding time portal.” This is in reference to the events that took place in the Marvel UK storyline “The Legacy of Unicron!” This is also what happened to him prior to the events of Eugenesis.

Rung is aware of these events due to having read Wreckers: Declassified. I’m not sure how I feel about Wreckers: Declassified being a valid resource for Rung to pull from, considering Fisitron self-described with the word “dramatist” in “Bullets”.

The session had to be ended when Rung tried to psychoanalyze Impactor in a way he wasn’t ready for, as the man threatened to crush his brain like a grape between his fingers.

Lot of Eugenesis vibes in this entry.

We don’t get any history on Impactor, as it’s been scrubbed from the record at someone’s request. Is it related to his relationship with Megatron? The events that would eventually be revealed in Sins of the Wreckers? Maybe it’s just left like that to create intrigue for the eventual sequel series, Sins of the Wreckers. Who knows? I certainly don’t.

That’s the end of Rung’s reports, but we still have a couple more characters to get through.

Rotorstorm, Snare, and Swindle must go to the same body shop, because they’re the only guys who have eyes/visors that aren’t a primary color. It’s an interesting little character design choice, and I can’t help but wonder if there was some sort of reason for it.

…I genuinely wasn’t expecting an answer for that. Neat!

Snare’s kind of a loner, which works out pretty well for him, since he’s usually on surveillance duty. He’s also a sadist, having developed some nasty ways to keep prisoners in line. “Morphcore stimulation” is mentioned, and it’s less fun than it sounds, not that it sounds terribly fun in the first place. The fact that even Snare thought Overlord was a bit much is very telling.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term “morphcore”, don’t feel bad about it, because it’s only ever been used in one piece of media up until this point. Morphcores were a small bundle of nerves at the base of the Cybertronian brain that controlled transformation, as explained in Eugenesis. This term would quickly be switched out for the more well-known “transformation cog” for brand cohesion. The really funny thing is that that this section is attributed to Nick Roche. It would seem that TMUK is a hard state of mind to shake off.

This won’t be the only time Roche and Roberts team-up to completely miss the mark on how the IDW continuity functions- the Dire Wraith in The Revolution oneshot they wrote together was running off of the Marvel UK iteration of the species.

Overlord doesn’t have a profile, per se, but rather a transcript of a correspondence between Megatron and a guy named Gorelock.

Gorelock apologizes for not getting in contact sooner, explaining that the reason he’s been radio silent is because Overlord fucking showed up out of nowhere, after cutting and running from the Decepticause years prior. Whether Megatron had actually heard Overlord’s message or just figured it out from context clues isn’t clarified.

Gorelock super-duper promises that he and his guys didn’t just stand there pissing themselves in fear as Overlord strolled through their ranks, and they super-duper totally fought him until Gorelock decided to hear the guy out. For sure. Absolutely.

It turns out, Overlord was never actually dismissed from the rank of the Decepticons, which means that he outranks Gorelock, and Gorelock was therefore compelled to grant him a favor.

The favor is wrecking an entire empire’s shop. Gorelock complies with this request, purely due to being outranked. Absolutely. For sure.

Once the contract was completed in full, Overlord fucked off into space.

You know, not enjoying your hobbies anymore can be a sign of depression.

And that’s why Gorelock hasn’t kept in touch! I’m sure Megtron will be very understanding about this whole thing.

Or not!