#Azula would loathe you if you take her bending especially all the people who are involved with that

[prodogg]

"The avatar should take Azula’s bending because that somehow makes her good and healthy"

No, thanks

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Ten Sides (Part 24)

It is the quiet moments that get to her. The moments when she has time to think. Anger filters its way back in. Especially when she sees fire dancing in her palm. He had taken it from her. Nevermind that it was part of the plan, he knew what it had meant to her and he had taken it from her.

She finds herself conflicted all over again. Anger clashes with affection and both seem to be just as prevalent as one another. She can only seem to attribute that to good intentions having gone sour. She thinks that this has been lingering in her mind for a long time now. It has certainly been present the whole time even if she had set it aside for the sake of getting her bending back. For the sake of having a new friend. For the sake of...love perhaps? But can she really call him a friend, much less, a lover with so much anger beneath the surface.

She rubs her hands over her face. Why do emotions have to be such a mess? No wonder her father has fought so frivolously to teach her to repress them. She can’t handle them. She can’t make sense of them. Not like she can make sense of politics and war. She can’t scheme and connive her way out of this one. She can only face it head on and with such scant armor.

She takes a breath and gets to her feet. She supposes there is more dignity to be had in a spectacular failure than in cowering away. Somehow the silent and personal shames are worse than the ones that she has vocalized.

She opens her door to find Aang standing in it, arm raised to knock. And here she thought that she’d at least have the walk down the hallway to prepare some dialogue. Regardless, she gestures for him to enter.

“I need to talk to you.” Aang says.

“No.” Azula replies. “You need to listen to me.”

He is grinning for some reason. “Great! I was hoping that you would talk. I really need to know what you’re thinking…”

That makes two of them.

“Sit.” She points to a spot at the foot of her bed. She climbs upon the mattress and leans herself against the bedpost. She isn’t exactly sure where to begin, she almost regrets telling him to listen and not talk. “I am trying to decide how I feel about you, Avatar.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I want to…” she furrows her brows, “I want to...love you.” The words feel so foreign on her tongue. “But I am angry.” Furious actually.

“You can be mad at someone you love.” Aang points out.

“Can I be this mad and still love someone?”

“I think that the people who you love the most tend to infuriate you like no one else. Which is probably why you and Zuko are constantly going at it.”

“I don’t want to talk about Zuzu right now. This is about you and why I am mad at you. Zuko has done a lot of things to me but nothing like what you did.”

“Tell me what I did.”

She pauses for a moment, her brows knit. “There are several things but this is about what you didn’t do.”

He looks as confused as she feels.

“Why did you wait? Why didn’t you do something sooner?”

She has to give him credit for not needing clarification. But that is all the credit that is due. “Azula, we talked about this.”

“I want to talk about it again. Right now.” Now that she is herself again. Now that she has a perspective on things and a will to stand her ground.

“I thought that you…”

“Were just going to let you get away with taking my fire? Let you get a flimsy excuse for doing fuck all when I need you the most.”

He braces himself but she can tell that it still hits hard.

“You have a habit of doing that, don’t you, Avatar.” She hisses.

She waits for him to get up and yell at her, to ask her how she could say something so cruel? To tell her that he doesn’t want to speak to her anymore. That she’s lucky he bothered to save her at all. He doesn’t stir. Doesn’t say a word. But his expression… She bites her lip.  “I can’t... love you if I can’t say this.”

Aang tries his best to smile. “You can say it. I think that you need to. I think that I need to hear it.” He pauses. “So say what you need to say, you don’t have to hold back.”

She knows that he wants her to go easy on him, even if he insists otherwise. It doesn’t matter she only wants to know one thing. “Why, Avatar? Why did you let me cut my hair and…” She grazes her fingers over her cheek bone. “Why did you let it go on for so long?” Somehow she gets the feeling that the softness in her voice cuts him deeper than any biting remark could. Likely because it is raw. It is earnest. .oOo.

It hurts much more than he thought it would. It hurts because there is no anger. No malice. Just hurt. So much hurt. And he caused it. Worse, he let it happen when he had all the power in the world to stop it. Truth be told, he can’t even say why when thinking retrospectively.

She isn’t even looking at him anymore. Her eyes are fixed on her palms.

“I guess that it was just easier to deny it. To pretend like I was doing something good than to face that I was letting you get hurt. That I was hurting you. I-I’ve never hurt someone like that. And I didn’t know how to handle it.” Her replies quietly.

Azula grits her teeth and squeezes her eyes shut. Her lower lip trembles.

“You should be mad. I should have done more. I was passive, I was hoping that you would just...I don’t know…that you would just have enough and throw him to the ground.”

“You knew that, that was impossible.”

“For a second it really looked like you were going to.”

“Avatar. You knew that I couldn’t. You knew what you were doing to me.”

“It was idealistic and stupid and…”

“It was cruel.” Her brows knit. “You thought I deserved it didn’t you, because I’m…”

He reaches for her hand, this time she snatches it back and swats him away. “I don’t think that you deserved it. You’re right, I should have done more. I just really wanted to believe that I was helping and I really didn’t want to believe that I did so much damage. I still don’t want to.”  His stomach is twisting and turning and tying itself into all kinds of knots. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even agreed to touch your spirit energy at all.”

She finally looks up at him but he can’t make anything of her expression. It is so carefully guarded.

.oOo.

Acknowledgement alone is like a breath of fresh air. A reassurance that she hasn’t just been seeing things that weren’t there. To know that she actually has been wronged as deeply as she thought.

“And my bending?”

“We talked about that too.”

“I am unsatisfied with the answer.” She drums her fingers upon the mattress. “You know know what it means to me. It was all that I had left and you just ripped it right out.”

“I gave it back right away! It was--”

“Part of the plan? Did you really think that, that would mean anything? I had every reason to believe that it was gone for good.” Her voice seems to weaken with each word until it ends with a pitiful crack. She curls her fingers around the blankets. “You took a part of me. The last part of me.” She finishes in a near whisper. “I didn’t think that I was going to get it back.”

He swallows hard. “I didn’t have any other plan.”

She gives a bitter laugh and wipes at her eyes. “I’m good at scheming. You could have asked. I could have been in on it. I could have helped save myself. You took my dignity too. My…” she really loathes sounding like Zuzu, “my honor.”

“Azula...”

“All you would have had to do was pretend. Pretend that you altered my spirit and then pretend that you took my bending. I could have played dumb and nice. I could have been powerful and confident and you took that from me.” Now her voice falls somewhere between a sob and a growl. “You took my fire.” She clutches her hand against her stomach, where her fire chakra seems to pulse the hottest.

“You’re right about that too. I was scared. I’m not as good at scheming as you. I made an impulse decision.”

“You were weak and you are giving me weak excuses.”

“They aren’t excuses, they're the truth. I don’t know what you want me to say, Azula.” He frowns. “Is there anything that I can say?”

She isn’t sure that there is. The reaping of her bending was such a profound and invasive boundary to cross.

“I don’t think that there is.” He mumbles his agreement. “I guess that I’m just glad that we’re having this conversation.”

“Glad?”

He gives a said smile. “A while back you would have just let all of this go. I’d rather have you resenting and fighting with me than to see you like that again. Believe it or not, I like this sassy, fiery you.”

Azula folds her arms across her chest.

“I’m just glad that you’re you again even if that means you resent me, I guess that I can’t blame you if you do.”

“I...I don’t hate you, Avatar. I should though.”

Aang’s smile returns. “I’m glad that you don’t hate me.” This time she lets him take her hand. “Is there anything I can do to make it right.”

She nods. “I want you to help me get him. At the very least, when I kill him, I want you to stand by just as passively as you did when he was violating me.”

“I’ll help you take him down.”

[zutaraturtleduck]

Our Happy Ending

Summary:  How things could have concluded if Zutara was the endgame.

Read on: ao3

Zuko had been recovering well from his lightning injury but he still had a hard time dressing up, especially with all the muscles that needed to bend or flex. Things would be a lot easier if there were servants around, but Azula fired more than half of the Royal Palace’s staff. Also given how things turned out, Fire Lord Ozai losing his bending, Zuko ascending the throne, and the Hundred Year War finally coming to an end, people were still in shock and in confusion.

“Do you need some help with that?” Someone voiced out. Zuko’s eyes went wide. It was one of the people he wasn’t prepared to see yet.

Mai.

“Ma…Mai! You… You’re okay!” he stammered. He won’t be surprised if she wanted to use him as a shooting target given how he left her and what happened to them back in the Boiling Rock.

“The… They let you out of prison?” Why does he suck in making casual conversations?

“My uncle pulled some strings and it doesn’t hurt when the new Fire Lord is… your former boyfriend.” She answered a bit colder than she intended. Zuko noticed the pause she made before stating their current relationship.

Former boyfriend.

“I’m sorry Mai,” he said giving her a sincere apologetic look. He cares about her, no doubt with that, but sadly; his feelings for Mai is not enough to make him choose her over his honor and his nation.

“Cut the drama Zuko.” Mai said sternly as she grabbed his sash and tied it around him. “I do like you but I’m tired of competing with everyone’s honor and being used for it, yours, Azula’s and my father’s. Given your new position as Fire Lord, I think it’s best if we remain as acquaintances.” Her time in prison gave her a lot of time to reflect on things. She realized that she needed someone for who would love her for who she is, not because of what she could do to fulfill something in the other’s life.

“If it’s like that, I very much respect your decision.” Their separation helped them accept that they were no longer the same person the other had once had fallen in love with. He was no longer the confused prince who only sought his father’s attention and love and saw her as a symbol of the time he was actually happy with his life. She was no longer the grim lonely girl who had to act like a perfect princess to protect her father’s career and perceived him as the perfect boy who could give her a perfect life.

“What do you plan to do now?”

“I’ll be travelling with Ty Lee. I think it’s time for me to stop hating the world.” Mai took a step back to inspect Zuko’s robes. Satisfied with her work, her lips curved upwards a little. She stared at the golden eyes she once loved and asked him something out of curiosity before she let him go for good.

“Is it true that you saved that water tribe girl from Azula’s lightning?”

“It’s true. Her name is Katara, a brave and honorable woman. I was an idiot for endangering her by asking her to be with me during the Agni Kai with Azula.” Mai saw how proud he was saying her name and later on traces of regret across Zuko’s face. Her former self who loved Zuko would surely feel hurt, and would demand if he would do the same if she was put in the same situation; but then, she was no longer that person.

“Do you love her?” Zuko’s eyes went wide and looked at Mai alarmingly. The last thing he wanted was for Mai to feel cheated. But when his eyes landed on her, she didn’t seem to be hurting; she had her usual poker face and even had little traces of teasing.

“It’s something I can’t answer right now. I am the new Fire Lord now. I and my nation have a hundred years’ worth of hate and destruction to cope up with, which calls for my undivided attention and full effort for the first few years at least.” He replied with an honest smile.

“I see.” She smiled in return.

“Good-bye Zuko.”

“Good-bye Mai. Take care on your journey.” For the one last time, he hugged Mai.

“I will.” They let go and last words he heard from her before she disappeared in the hallways of the palace were: “Be the best Fire Lord this nation had ever seen.”

Mai was walking away from the Fire Lord’s chambers when she saw a water tribe girl walking hastily towards where she came from.

“Katara?” Mai unconsciously mumbled. She remembered her as the fierce girl whom she fought several times when she was still Azula’s pawn.

The girl turned around responding to her name being called. “Wha… What is it Mai?” Katara felt a bit awkward casually talking to a girl who used her as a shooting target a lifetime ago.

“Uh… Are you on your way to see Zuko?”

“Yes? Did something happen?” Katara replied agitatedly. She hardly left Zuko’s side, making sure that he recovers well and receives the healing he needed, except early this morning when Suki asked her to take care of Sokka while she orient the other Kyoshi Warriors about the new Fire Lord’s coronation.

She can’t help feel guilty and anxious when Zuko’s injury was the topic. They were supposed to be teammates, not a liability to him, or a replacement just in case the he goes out of commission.  She felt like she was that little girl again who can’t do anything to save her mother but she also knew she’s now better than that. She’s a master waterbender and a healer. She won’t give up Zuko without giving a fight.

Mai sensed Katara’s anxiety. “Relax girl. He’s fine, though he would definitely use some help.” Mai replied.

Katara felt like she could breathe again upon hearing Mai’s response. She murmured words of thankfulness then started walking again towards the Fire Lord’s chambers.

“Wait.” Katara stopped on her tracks and turned around again. She didn’t know if her brain was making fun of her but was Mai smiling at her?

“He might be the most hot-headed infuriating honor nut-head you’ll ever meet in your whole life, but he is surely a loving and caring person.” Mai run off before Katara could even react.

Katara entered the room and saw Zuko in his full Fire Lord regalia. Why does he look so sexy whether he is shirtless or in his Fire Lord regalia?

“Katara, is Sokka alright?” Zuko greeted, waking the girl from her daydream.

“Uhm… Yeah. He’s great. I just fed him before I left. Dad is taking care of him now. How about you?”

“I’m fine. Mai helped me put on these robes.” Honestly, she felt jealous.

“Are you two back together?” Katara felt stupid for asking, knowing that his answer would either rip her heart or leave her daydreaming for more. She was attracted to Zuko that she was sure of (or maybe, even greater, just denying it) no matter how hard she tried to act like she loathed him when he joined their group. It didn’t help that they did a lot of things together from household chores, bending training to finding her mother’s killer. Now that he saved her from that lightning that could have killed her, she didn’t know how to figure things out between the two of them – Is she going to hope that Zuko feels the same way she does? Or not, because whether it was her or someone else he would do still do the same thing?

“No, we ended things for good,” Zuko replied with a sad smile. Relief was written all-over Katara.

“I… I’m  happy” “I… I’m sorry,” she replied.

“No need to apologize, it was something we both agreed upon,” Zuko can’t help blush when he remembered Mai’s last question: Are you in love with her?

Seeing the pink tint on Zuko’s cheeks made Katara blush too. “I see,” she answered, twirling her hair around her fingers.

A Fire Sage knocked at the door, alerting them that the coronation is about to start soon.

Author’s Notes: There’s still a next installment for this. The teashop scene in Ba Sing Se~

Honestly, Mai’s character could have been cool, if she weren’t such a cold-blooded girlfriend towards Zuko.

Dedicated to all Zutara fans! Hope you enjoyed this!

[bellatrixobsessed1]

I’ll Meet You At The Bottom (Part 20)

“I’m sorry, Sokka.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She pressed her cheek into the pillow.

 “You should apologize to yourself, not me.” He replied, rubbing circles over her back, when that failed to soother her, he tried trailing his fingers through Azula’s locks. She seemed to get more comfort out of that so he kept it up.

 “I had to do it.” She muttered. “I couldn’t take it anymore.”

 Were it not tucked under her pillow, he would have taken her hand. “Maybe you should just focus on one thing first. You haven’t thought about cactus juice in a while.”

 “That sounds nice right now.” She replied. Her head was still beating. The only thing the intake of tears seemed to do for her was ease the tremors. At least for a few hours, they were back and worse than before. She found herself lapsing in and out of periods of confusion, periods where she couldn’t remember what she had said or done.

 Nights and days blended together. Three or four may have passed, but she couldn’t say for sure. It didn’t really matter how many had gone by, things didn’t seem to get any easier. She felt queasy and sore all the time. Her eyes burned and watered and her chest constantly constrained. The only thing that kept her going were the days she allowed herself a pinch of the tears—every other day, just enough to her a lift. Today was one such day. Combined with the cactus juice withdrawal, she knew she was in for another restless night. But she sprinkled some of the reddish powder onto the dresser regardless. She tired to get Sokka to step out for a moment, she could never seem to inhale the tears when he was in the room. It brought her a sense of discomfort to have someone watching her ruin herself. This time Sokka didn’t step out, instead he reclined in her armchair.

 “Not this time.” He replied. “I know what you’re doing, I don’t see what difference it makes to send me away.”

 “You said you paint?” Azula asked.

 He crinkled his brows, “what does that have to do with anything?”

 “Do you like people watching you paint?”

 “No, but…”

 “They know that you’re painting, so why does it matter.” Azula mumbled, pushing the powder around with her finger.

 “It just feels weird and uncomfortable.” He replied. “I feel like I’m being judged.

 “Exactly.” Azula agreed as she pulled him to his feet. With what remained of her energy, she tugged him across the room and heaved him into the hallway.

 “I won’t judge you.” He tried as she started to shut her door.

 “How about this, you show me that painting you keep talking about, and I’ll let you stay.” She offered.

 “Ya know what, I think I like it out here. This hallway is pretty nice.” He smiled. “That is one lovely vase.” His false interest was lightly amusing, she almost stayed to listen to him ramble on, but the tears called. Whatever he was painting he was protective over it. She decided that it must be truly mortifying if he would rather yield and let her inhale the tears in peace. Frankly, it peaked her curiosity—one day, when she was better, she would search out this mysterious painting. She stashed the pouch back to where she had retrieved it from and beckoned Sokka back inside. She sat herself down upon her bed and with her last minutes of coherence, switched out the dressings on her foot. It was taking a while, much longer than usual to recover from her infection and even from the trivial scrapes and bruises. It was becoming a nuisance, one she hoped would vanish when she finally found the strength to separate from the Ruby Tears once and for all. She fell back onto the bed and waited for her perception to alter. For a brief period she thought about what it must be like for Sokka to watch her stumble around and babble nonsensically. She ought to be embarrassed. She, for the first time, considered how odd it was that she was more uncomfortable with Sokka watching her take the tears than to witness her on them. The musings slowly muffled until they became no more, replaced by wispy and light music in pitches and melodies she’d never heard before. It was like spirit music, soft, lulling spirit music. She could have been humming along, she thinks that she was.

 .oOo.

 Azula is again lost in her own world. At least these past few times, her world hasn’t been petrifying, it seemed to make her happy. He just wished that her happiness wasn’t so artificial. She helped him realize that he’d rather be miserable and angry than engrossed in some kind of mock joy. For once she was rather mellow, she lie on the bed staring at something he couldn’t see; something that made her smile, that made her laugh. If only he could manage to do that, maybe then she wouldn’t have taken the tears.

Perhaps, he pondered, he should try it. His humor had ruined a lot of things, had pushed a lot of people away. But those people already had laugher. Maybe he could give his jokes to someone who could use them. Though he didn’t think his sense of humor was the same as Azula’s. It couldn’t hurt to try. If she took well to his jests, he might be able to tell them without fear.

 He sighed to himself, he was placing a lot on Azula whether she knew it or not. He felt guilty all over again. He was placing his wellbeing on her and she didn’t even know it. He was placing his peace of mind and happiness on someone who was struggling to maintain her own. Deep down he felt like he was using her more than he was supporting her. Not for the first time he speculated that he was helping her only to meet his own ends. Would he stick around if he found himself in a more stable place? Would it matter if he didn’t? She was always one to assist people when it would suit her needs, why should he care?

 “Hey, socks?” Her voice was soft. Innocent almost.

 “Sokka.” He corrected.

 She gave him a dismissive hand flap. “Thanks for staying with me.” She reached her hand out and snatched at something he couldn’t see, with a whispered, ‘caught it’, before she turned her focus back to him. “I’m happy you stayed.”

 In those four words he decided that it did matter if he used her. In those for words he knew that he would stick around even if he found that he didn’t need her anymore. And in those four words he realized that he couldn’t possibly be using her, he cared for her. As truly infuriating as she could be, he had told her the truth when she asked him if he did. Still, that didn’t change that he was placing a heavy burden on unsuspecting shoulders.

 Her look was very far away but she spoke again. “No one has ever stayed with me before. I’m glad you stayed.” She was on her feet and moving about as if seeking something or someone out. “I like you, Sokka.” She made off as though she were plucking something from the wall. She stroked whatever it was before pulling his arm out. In his palm she placed something she clearly thought was beautiful. Fleetingly, he wished he could see it too.

 She folded her arms around him and nestled her cheek against his chest. Against what might have been his better judgment, he returned the first gesture and let her coo kind things to him as she tapped her finger on his torso. Mostly about how he was helpful but with a sprinkle of comments on his abs and the like. He had to admit it has been some time since anyone has given him praise or acknowledgement. Coming from her, it seemed somehow more flattering.

He didn’t know how much of it was the drugs talking and how much of it was the princess herself. It didn’t matter, it felt good to be praised. Maybe just this once, he would accept a possibly false sense of joy.

 He hoped that she would remember the moment.  

He would.

 .oOo.

 Azula woke feeling dizzy and feverish, she didn’t know that she could even call what she had done waking up. It had become the norm for her to feel surreal sensations. Ambiances that she, even with all of the extravagant literacy she’d acquired, couldn’t describe. But the feeling that came over her was particularly indescribable. Whenever she thought she’d picked out a word for the feeling, it left her mind. It alarmed her, usually the trips didn’t last so long. She couldn’t recall a time where they lingered into the next morning. Something was different, she couldn’t place it.

 She remained in such a state for hours, slowly detaching from herself in a way she never had before. She couldn’t seem to feel her weight, couldn’t feel her body at all. She would move her arm, left and right, slowly and then quickly. Azula could see the motion, she knew she was moving, but she couldn’t feel it. It was like watching someone else’s hand.

 “Azula are you alright?” Sokka asked. “What are you doing with your hand over there.” He cracked a smile.

 And when she answered, the words didn’t seem to come from her own lips, “I’m fine, my hand just fell asleep.” She didn’t think that, that was a lie, but she didn’t know that it was the truth either.

She let him return to his book.

 When sensation did return, there was a fuzzy sort of electric feeling in her hand. Though she wasn’t working with her bending. The tingling continued. There was a peculiar taste in her mouth like copper maybe, mixed with salt. Azula ran her finger over her lips and on the inside of her cheek, they came up free of blood. Nothing explained the metallic taste. “Can you get me something to eat?” She asked, she wasn’t especially hungry but she would do just about anything to rid herself of the taste.

 “Sure, what do you have in mind?” He asked.

 “It doesn’t matter. Just no duck meat, I don’t like duck.”

 “I think I can manage that.” He replied.

 She rolled onto her side, waiting for the tingling to subside.

 .oOo.

 Sokka never knew what to expect when leaving Azula. He loathed leaving her on her own because she always seemed to have a surprise for him when he returned. He was growing weary of surprises. He greeted Toph first. “Long time no see.”

 “Long time, never saw.” Toph rose her eyes. “It’s good to talk to you again Sokka.”

 “How is Azula?” Aang asked. “Katara said she seemed better.”

 “I guess in some ways she is.” Sokka replied.

 “Does she need another waterbending session?” Katara asked.

 Sokka was hit with another pang of guilt. Lately all he’d been doing was coming downstairs to ask Katara to pacify Azula. “No, she needs something to eat. How have you been, Katara?”

 “I’d be better if you came down more often.” He could hear some resentment in her voice and he didn’t blame her for it. He would ask her to visit but Azula still didn’t take well to guests. She still had too many secrets to guard.

 “I’ll try to.” Sokka replied. He meant it, with any luck he could get Azula in a comfy enough state to leave her room for a few minutes. It would do her well to talk to other people. “I’ll see if I can get Azula to tag along.”

 “Good luck with that.” Toph grumbled.

 “I think that sounds great.” Aang smiled.

 He turned back to Katara as he prepared a meal for he and Azula. “Anything interesting happen down here.”

 “Zuko and Appa got into a fight,” Katara replied, “that was pretty interesting.”

 “He lost.” Toph added.

 “What was it over.” Sokka asked.

 “I parked him to close to where his palanquin is usually parked.” Aang explained. “He threatened to give me a fine.”

 “I think Zuko’s getting bored. He hasn’t had many problems lately so he’s trying to make some.” Katara rolled her eyes. “It’s very like him to do that.”

 Sokka laughed, he forgot how much he missed his crew. The price of caring for Azula was becoming apparent. He let himself dwell on it a bit more. Was he coddling her? She was doing well enough staying away from the cactus juice, it might not hurt to leave her by herself for a little while. He could go for some fresh air. “Maybe we can go have a picnic in the palace garden?” Sokka offered. “After I give Azula her food.”

 “That sounds wonderful, Sokka.”

 It struck him then that he hadn’t had a picnic since the one with Suki, suddenly his own suggestion lost its appeal.

 “You’re still alive!” Zuko laughed. “I didn’t know if I was going to see you again.”

 “Yeah.” He said rubbing his head. “I’m still around.”

 “Azula isn’t’ giving you a hard time, is she?” He asked.

 “Maybe a little.” It was and understatement. “She’s alright though.” Even as he spoke, he couldn’t help but think of what surprise she might have in store for him when he came back to her. Of all of the scenarios that played out in his mind—from her complaining about his cooking and refusing to eat it to her downing a bottle of cactus juice—he didn’t imagine the scene she actually had prepared for him.

 He thought he would give her a surprise of her own. Zuko was rather insistent on checking on her. So long as she was still in bed, she probably couldn’t get too angry. As always, she was one step ahead of him.

 He found her on the ground, her body twitching and spasming, a light froth bubbling between her lips.

 She must have hit her head on the way down, a steady flow of read trickled between her eyes. His platter collided with the floor. When he looked to his left Zuko was gone, likely to fetch Katara. Once again Azula would have the palace in turmoil. He snatched up a pillow and put it beneath her head. Agni knew how many times it had already knocked against the floor.

 Her eyes met his for a second before flickering away. She was in a perilous state and he couldn’t do anything for her. He clenched his teeth. He was going to lose it again. He couldn’t, not yet. He didn’t know if he said it more to convince himself or to convince her, “it’s going to be alright, you’re going to be just fine.” Sokka didn’t even know if she could hear him. But he took her hand and held it until the jerking came to a stop.

He wiped her mouth and stroked the back of her hand. Her awareness waned, he was cradling a limp body in his arms. “You just got back.” He mumbled, “you can’t leave me too.”

 Just like that he was gone again, thrown right back into the past when he held sea-logged Suki’s body for the first time. She was wet and cold and didn’t feel human. Her lips a sickly blue, skin unnaturally puffy. It didn’t matter that Azula’s body was still very warm nor that her skin still had patches of color. In that moment there was no separation between she and Suki.

 “You have to let go of her, Sokka.” Katara tried gently as she worked to pry his hands away.

 He wouldn’t let her do it, he wouldn’t let her take Suki from him again.

 “If you don’t let go of her, we can’t help her.” Katara tried once more.

 He clutched Azula closer. He wouldn’t let them burry Suki again. In retrospect, Sokka couldn’t hold it against Zuko. As harsh as knocking him out was, they probably wouldn’t have been able to take Azula in any other way. The firebender came to before he did. From the sound of it she was still dizzy and disoriented. Her voice sounding hazy and puzzled.

 Zuko left him with little time to regain his bearings. He could see the temper, so characteristic of his family, flaring in his eyes. As soon as Sokka sat up, the Fire Lord had him pulled to the side. “Sokka, what’s wrong with her?” He demanded quite roughly. “I want the truth this time.”

 Part of Sokka wanted to throw it back at him and ask when he started to care. Wanted to ask, where he has been this whole time. He didn’t have the energy for a fight, even if he did, he didn’t want a fight. But he didn’t want to sever the little trust he had acquired with Azula.

 “We can’t really help her if we don’t know what’s wrong.” Katara added. “Please, tell us what’s going on.”

 Azula was going to be pissed, very much so. With as much dejection as he felt he answered, “she’s on drugs.”