Tumgik
#BLAME IT ON THE SATELLITE THAT. BEAMS. ME. HOME.
unclescrunkle · 14 days
Text
james potter is a satellite
24 notes · View notes
redrcs · 1 month
Text
Crazy
We talked the other day.
her hands trembled with suppressed emotion.
You don't think I'm crazy, do You?
her eyes pleaded in that way
that those of us who skitter along
the edge know.
You know
that brittle glitter
like last year's christmas tinsel.
you're not crazy
(as I enfolded her in a bear hug)
not not not not not not
(in a monotone of emphasis)
you're just caught in a maze
of pressure that body and mind
don't want, can't find
the way out
yet.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sssssshhhhhhhhhh
I'm there
and I rock her like a little girl
till she falls asleep.
(The troubled words of a troubled mind I try to understand
What is eating you
I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since that I last slept with you
What are we coming to?
I just don't know anymore
Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home)
Lyrics by Radiohead, Black Star
22 notes · View notes
binvibin · 1 month
Text
“blame it on the satellite that beams me home” is definitely sirius talking about dumbledore
11 notes · View notes
cadavvera · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Blame it on the black star Blame it on the falling sky Blame it on the satellite That beams me home
So this is a product of conversation with Jeanbot
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And the reaction afterwards
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Don't worry I got payed
Tumblr media
95 notes · View notes
thatfuckinjester · 5 days
Text
blame it on the black star??? blame it on the falling sky??? blame it on the satellite??? that beams me home???
2 notes · View notes
hyp3rst4r · 1 month
Note
UUR LAYOUT IS SO COOL WHAT
💫🐈‍⬛👾(fanfic)🪽⛈️ hehehe :3
Tumblr media
First of all THANK YOU SOSO MUCUDJSUSISI
Second of all, that's alot of emojis... /pos but let's begin :3
Here's the wip! (💫)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Random lyric (🐈‍⬛️)
"Blame it on the Black star, Blame it on the falling sky, Blame it on Satellite, That beams me home. . ." - Black Star by Radiohead
Fav fanfic (👾) is Gentle hands and Gentle eyes by Dezace! It really makes feel go insane whenever someone makes these type of fanfic
Fun fact about me! (🪽)
During 2018, I was playing minecraft and I met danTDM on a random server, I even interacted him and told him I was his biggest fan! He was really nice :]
Advice! (⛈️)
Creating your OWN color pallette when you are editing a character, how? you may ask. Research about their personality and how they act, you'll have a higher chance to make an edit you'll enjoy! Think about the character and what color would match them!
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home
52 notes · View notes
Note
ST season finale has left me devastated, Eddie deserved so much better 😭 Got any good Steddie fic recs to ease the pain?
oh u bet i do !!!!!
is this the real life? is this just fantasy? - this one is still updating but its sooooo good and also my new favorite fic but its st3 but if eddie also worked at scoops
you got me running like a hurricane - this is a rlly cool concept for a death fix it for eddie and this fic literally haunts me it so good
blame it on the satellite that beams me home - st4 but what if steve and eddie knew each other from before that also still updating but rlly good
also u might have no interest in this bc its not stddie but its so good that i need to tell u abt it but persephone - its what if chrissy got involved in st3 and shes besties with eddie
also also not to self promote but definitely self promoting ive got three st fics of my own posted on my ao3 and the only steddie stuff rn is just them flirting i haven’t finished any of my fully fleshed out steddie fics yet but i will and will post them at some point
anyways hope u like these !!!!
8 notes · View notes
mossraven27 · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite
That beams me home
Troubled words
Of a troubled mind
I try to understand
What is eating you
2 notes · View notes
ot7cvnt · 8 months
Text
Kim Seokjin
Tumblr media
Age: 30
DOB: December 4th 1992
Tumblr media
Blame it on the black star, blame it on the falling sky, blame it on the satellite that beams me home.
Tumblr media
Black Star - Radiohead
Amoeba - Clairo
Duvet - Boa
Sign of the Times - Harry Styles
Dreams - The Cranberries
Love Song - Lana Del Rey
Sweet Boy - Malcolm Todd
Milk - Sweet Trip
I’m Yours / Nth - Hozier
Glacier Meadow - Cavetown & Field Medic
Tumblr media
0 notes
egonscarif · 1 year
Text
rogue one connections
new series where i basically connect rogue one to things i like and talk about how they connect… 😀
this ep - cassian and jyn to Black Star by Radiohead
the whole song isn’t a full connection to them but there are certain lines that really make me think of them for example the lines
“I know all the things around your head, And what they did to you
What are we coming to? What are we gonna do?”
in the first part of that line i feel like it could mean both Jyn and Cassian learning more of each other they see what the world/people have done to them. For Jyn the empire took her family away and saw had left her leaving her to fend for herself and grow cold to anyone near her, same for Cassian the empire changed his life and caused for him to not say goodbye to his mother properly, Cassian then went on to be a spy for the rebellion and do whatever acts they ask from him even if deep down he felt they weren’t right. They ask themselves once they see this “what are we coming to?” When they begin to realize that and “what are we gonna do” when they realize that they won’t just stand down anymore and will fight for what they have to.
The next set of lines
“I get on a train and i just stand about, Now that i don’t think of you
I keep falling over, i keep passing out, When i see a face like you
What am i coming to? Im gonna melt down”
This makes me think of how Jyn and Cassian wouldve been/possibly were with the passing of their mothers, the empire taking Jyns father/Jyn thinking her father has abandoned her. The question of what am i coming to being when they would have the second to think about how they have become cold to people due to the pain they’ve endured. They had to push down their feelings and moments of mourning in order to keep surviving and whenever they would get a glimpse of hope it caused them to break down.
The last set of lines
“ Blame it on the black star, Blame it on the falling sky, Blame it on the satellite
That beams me home
This is killing me
This is killing me”
oh this part hurts me a lot.. Black Star = Death Star and the falling sky = planet being destroyed/the sky closing in on them the line “blame it on the satellite” Jyn had to fix the satellite/use the satellite to get the messages out. “That beams me home, this is killing me” the beam of the Death Star killing them and the death allows for them to join their family.
note : was in the middle of battlefront when i was listening to Black Star and my mind made the connections..i had to stop playing bc i started crying 😭
1 note · View note
eljackgram · 1 year
Photo
Tumblr media
“Blame it on the black star Blame it on the falling sky Blame it on the satellite That beams me home The troubled words Of a troubled mind I try to understand What is eating you” #blackstar #thebends #radiohead #umamusicapordia #estrellagalicia #simplelife #rockit #rockmusic #rocksaves #salvation (em Canoas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CkpF-p7Lr899kH8lKq3P2NIkEpT0yIRfmlUo980/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
1 note · View note
meelvignetting-blog · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media
- Blame it on the black star Blame it on the falling sky Blame it on the satellite That beams me home #radioheadlyrics #blackstar #blackstarltdrive #bandpractice #production #meelvignetting #mv https://www.instagram.com/p/CkA5mCvDdL9/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
0 notes
pinkstreetlight · 2 years
Text
blame it on the satellite that beams me home etc etc
1 note · View note
rickgression · 3 years
Text
AO3 VERSION -- way more scenes.
Summary: Claire Vega agreed to babysit for minimum wage and pantry rights -- as well as for some help with her college work. Rick and Diane are just happy to have someone that Beth hadn't tried to kill.
Words: 5,686 // chapter 0
Note: I'll be posting this officially on AO3 once I fix some pacing issues (I want to add a few more in-between scenes, as well as debating if I want to dump this as a linear story, or if I want time skips back and forth. I originally wrote it for style practice + reference, but it's turned into a 12k nightmare. This is the first 5.5k~ of it.
BLACK STAR (0/?)
Blame it on the black star Blame it on the falling sky Blame it on the satellite That beams me home
...
1995.
“Wow, Beth’s fast asleep,” Rick said, his voice reverent. “And you’re alive. Impressive.”
“I read her my paper on wormhole travel and she went out like a light.” I worked the clasp of my backpack, to tuck my Walkman away. I’d just gotten The Bends from a friend to listen to, though I knew I’d buy it for myself the moment I had some spare cash. “I think she likes space stuff, even if she doesn’t understand it all.”
“Yeah, I used to read her theoretical physics books to put her to sleep when she was a baby, so,” Rick tongued his lips apart, his gaze pivoted between my face and my backpack. “This paper — we talking Einstein–Rosen bridge, or…” He waved a hand, as if in search of a word. “Exotic matter, man-made style? Heard the boys finally cracked the code on that one — worked out that the wormhole needs a negative mass rather than what, toothpicks, to hold it open.”
“I’m sure my professor would love a paper on a wormhole supported by toothpicks…
“Doesn’t work,” Rick cut in. “Trust me.”
“We’re just going through the theoretical element of it, not the functional kind. No one’s even close to that.”
Rick snorted, his gaze slanted to the sleeping girl on the couch. He reached out to stroke his daughter’s hair, who leaned into the touch even in her sleep. I watched in silence, fake-busy with my notes. I picked them up and put them back on repeat, looking for any excuse to not watch Rick.
“Oh, I needed to pee since we left the restaurant — sorry, too much information.” That was Diane, who’d rushed past me when they’d arrived home from dinner. She yelled something about the bathroom which left Rick and I alone with the sleeping Beth. “Sorry Claire, emergency.”
“I get it,” I replied as Diane appeared.
Diane had a ten dollar bill pinched between her fingers, as if afraid she’d get it wet from how she’d washed her hands. I accepted it without a word about the amount. I’d only been here for a few hours and they’d given me dinner, too. I was essentially being paid to do my homework — and I knew they were a single income family. It was a favor, more or less, as a thank you for the help Rick had given me for my paper. He’d given it unwillingly, but I worked the answers out of him with enough begging.
The Sanchez home was quaint, the mantle decorated with photos of the family, mostly Beth in embarrassing outfits — but she looked happy in them, as a mermaid, a pirate, a witch, an alien. All the furniture was mismatched, bits and pieces inherited or gifted. The walls had prints of landscapes and space. All of this masked the blood stain beneath the corner of the couch and the claw marks across the back of one of the throw cushions. A vase that held fresh flowers, arranged with care.
The Sanchez family had a reputation; it was a contest between the scientific genius of Rick Sanchez or his daughter, who’d put a girl into hospital last month.
“How’re you — ” Diane began, her voice slow with sleepiness. “Oh, gosh, how’re you getting home sweetheart?”
“I live close by, I’ll just walk.” I packed my physics notebook into my backpack, along with the thick textbook I’d been deriving my notes from.
“Give her a lift, Rick,” Diane encouraged, her voice quiet so she didn’t wake Beth. The girl had fallen asleep drawing crayon gore, a bunch of dead unicorns being cannibalized by a praying mantis. She had little footed pajamas on and a smirk on her sleeping face. She was angelic when she was asleep. “I’ll make sure Beth’s in bed when you get back.”
“C’mon Claire, I’ve got shit to do tomorrow,” Rick said, no room for arguing. He pivoted to kiss Diane goodbye, his hand lingered on her hip. I looked away, down at my bag to find my wallet. He’d headed for the front door, not waiting for me to follow. Diane split off through the kitchen to Beth’s room toward the back of the house.
“I’ll be fine,” I said, my voice level. I shot a furtive look towards the kitchen, a smirk on my lips. “Thanks Mr. Sanchez.”
Rick’s gait stuttered, his hand caught on the door frame. “D-Don’t do that. Get in the car.”
I smiled at Rick, devious as I skirted my way towards the front door. He watched me with absent amusement. I waited by the passenger’s door, my arms clamped around my backpack.
“You’re easy to persuade.” He prodded, a brow cocked across the car at me.
“I knew you’d insist on walking me — I’d rather you drive me home, so you can drive yourself back.”
Rick leaned on the roof of his car, his arms looped atop the metal. His gaze drifted over my face, lower, as if trying to find something. After a silent moment, he locked his gaze back onto mine. “People don’t fuck with me, Cee. I’d be safe, with or without the car.”
I climbed into the passenger’s seat, not eager to challenge his claim. Rick had a reputation in the neighborhood for his experiments, though no one was bold enough to face off with him. People at my college spoke endlessly about him and his achievements, though he was frowned upon by most of the faculty. I hadn’t told anyone I agreed to babysit for the Sanchez family…
“Surprised you lasted the whole night with her.”
“Beth’s sweet.”
“No, you can say it, she’s terrifying — she’s fucking unhinged.” Rick laughed, loud and unexpected. “She gets it from me, but even then, she’s — she uh, she scared most other babysitters off. No one’ll take her on.”
“I enjoyed it, honestly.” I smiled at Rick who gave me a skeptical sneer.
Rick hadn’t started the car yet, his thumbs drummed on the patent leather wheel. He drummed away for a couple of seconds before he jutted his chin towards the dashboard. “Open the glove box.”
“What?” My heart slammed into my throat. A glove box could have just about anything in it; a gun, a snack, a condom, all the possibilities shot through my mind. “Why?”
“Get the uh, the… The brown wallet. Diane gave you ten bucks, but that’s… F-For Beth?” He licked his lips. “I have f-funds, that she’s not… Don’t ask, just take the fifty from in it.”
I struggled between eagerness at the offer and modesty. I didn’t want to take advantage of this family, even if Beth was a handful.
“I’m tellin’ you to take it. Consider it a down payment for future services.” Rick turned a corner, harder than I’d been prepared for. “And don’t tell anyone I gave it to you. You’re a college student, aren’t you meant to be desperate for money?”
“What are you getting at?” I spoke, my voice slow and soft.
“Oh my God, no — I didn’t mean like — okay, yeah, I phrased that a little fucking weird.” Rick firmed his grip on the wheel. “I’m trying to do you a favor, Jesus, just take the fifty. Made a couple of grand from a drug deal, if that makes you feel better. Or — that’s why I can’t tell my wife about it, but I — God, you’re such a shit, I’m — I’m trying to be nice and you make me feel like a criminal about it,” he said, half-laughing as he swerved around a few slower cars.
“A drug deal is a crime, Rick,” I explained, slowly, as if he were a child. The condescension didn’t fly with him as he swerved hard enough to rattle me. I refused to scream but I clung tighter to my seatbelt.
“Listen kid,” Rick shot me a confused look across his arm, his face abnormally handsome in the dim light. “I got paid for a delivery of goods. It’s not like, blood money or something. I didn’t kill someone for it. Someone needed some coke, I provided, wham, bam, capitalism at its finest.”
I popped open the glove box and fished out the fifty. There were dozens of hundred dollar bills, some precious gems and a pearl necklace tucked into the glove box. I shoved it shut, my eyes blown wide at the stash of wealth. I didn’t question it, at least not verbally. For all the quaint trappings of their home, I had to wonder why he didn’t use this to put his family somewhere nicer…
But the homespun quality of the cushions and the comfy kitchen made sense for Diane and for Beth. Rick was the part that contrasted, not quite fit into the picture. I suspected he knew it too, that while Beth and Diane radiated warmth and light, he sat more like the — the ocean, maybe. The moon. Cool and distant, but immense. The likeness continued to form in my mind’s eye as I watched him, the street lights flashed above. His face coming and going between each stripe of light highlighted how angular he was and how deep set his eyes were.
I hated to admit it, but he was attractive. Not in a traditionally Hollywood way, not in a way that anyone else could be. The sort of attractive that exuded from cult leaders, charisma unbound from appearance — like he’d stay charismatic with or without the trappings of youth. It seeped from his pores, that confidence, the nonchalance. It was the reason I’d approached him at my college when I’d seen him stealing bleach. It was the same reason I’d panicked when he told me to go for the glove box. No matter how much I thought I knew about Rick, I knew nothing.
Just that he loved his wife and his kid; that he’d do anything to see them happy.
And even that I couldn’t be sure of.
“You can stop staring whenever you want.”
I pinched my hands between my thighs, palms flat against one another and my head dropped low. We pulled to a stop and I climbed out, desperate to get to bed. My morning class was with Mr. Rochester and he locked the door at nine, so if you were late, you missed the class.
“See ya Mr. Sanchez,” I said through the window, amused with myself.
“Flash your lights when you’re up,” he instructed flatly, his lip curled. I pushed away from the car, my backpack slowing my jog to my apartment complex door. By the time I got into my apartment, I rushed to my kitchen window. His car still parked outside when I got up to my apartment. I saw it down there, idling, the headlights bright. I flicked my kitchen lights twice and his car roared to life, louder than it should be, and shot like lightning down the street.
He’d driven fast to get here but he was gone in seconds.
2001.
“And that’s why you do your own research.”
“I can’t exactly go into space and test my theories by hand.” I crossed out several formulas that Rick had dismissed. He’d looked at them for two seconds and decided they were likely to get someone killed — and given his practice with limited space travel, I trusted him.
“You could go into space with me but you’re too chicken shit to try.”
“Sorry I’m an engineer, not an astronaut.” I pushed up from my desk, a small plastic one that Rick had tucked into the corner. I twisted my neck side to side until I heard several pops, the tension relieved.
“That’s the problem with schools, they want you to package yourself neatly for one job rather than just doing what you want — y’know? So fucking what if your skills are a weird mix of eclectic shit, at least it’s stuff you care about.”
“I’m still not going into space with you.” I scratched my temple with the back of my pencil.
Rick rolled his eyes. The garage felt like a sauna in the summer afternoon, my jeans and sweater a terrible choice for the occasion. I pinched the front of the sweater and ruffled it back and forth, the warm current of air only a fraction cooler.
“Ditch the sweater,” Rick said, leaned back in his spindly office seat. Where I expected a wink or an eyebrow wriggle, he kept his expression neutral. “The power grid’s already at maximum capacity so A/C is a no-go. I’m not risking another neighborhood blackout ‘cause you’re body conscious.”
I shucked off my heavy sweater and dropped it onto the shelves by the garage door. My gaze snagged on a white gun with a cracked blue crystal protruding from the top, one that stood out against all the silver and black metal. I didn’t touch it, given I’d been around Rick long enough to know shit was dangerous. “Working on something new?”
“Huh?” Rick looked up from his makeshift oven. His gaze shifted between the gun and my face. “I’m always working on something.”
“Well,” I said, in my signature way before I left. I didn’t mean to do it, it just happened. And like clockwork, Rick stood up.
“It’s still early, you got somewhere to be?”
“Sort of.”
“Ah, you’ve finally replaced me, I get it.” He nudged me with his words alone, in a way I wish he wouldn’t. Not tonight. Not about this. “Who’s the new tutor?”
“Um, it’s more like a dinner thing… With someone.”
“Just say you have a date,” Rick pushed some papers out across his work bench. “Diane told me earlier.” The way he said this sat wrong in my stomach, like when you swallowed the wrong way and your chest locked up.
“Did she?”
“Yeah. It’s some kid from your class, right?” He looked up, out of the corner of his eye.
“Uh, not class, but, school, yeah.”
Rick straightened up, his hands splayed on the papers. “What uh… What degree?”
I busied myself with my backpack, a habit I’d yet to break. “Accounting.”
“Oh my God.”
“Rick — ”
“Of all the… An accountant?” Rick rocked back, stuck between amused and pained. He pressed his fists to his face, teeth strained into a nasty smile. “Oh my God, Claire.”
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.” I yanked my backpack on, eager to head for the door. My sweater laid in the crook of my elbow and sweat had already began to form against it. Rick shot between me and the door, his arms outstretched.
“You’re really gonna go out to dinner with a guy who’s big ambition is working for the tax office?” Rick rolled his hands together gesturing to both of us, as if he had any part in it. “Is this what we’re doing now? Jesu-us.”
“We’re not doing anything,” I exhaled, my gaze pointedly fixed beyond Rick’s right shoulder. “I’m going on a date. I thought you’d be happy for me.”
“Happy that you’re going on a date? Sure, why not. But with a guy who sucks off the IRS? Yeah, not sure how you thought that was on the cards.” Rick made a low growl of a sound from the back of his throat. He tongued his teeth, his head tipped to one side. We kept eye contact for a long moment, longer than I felt comfortable. But I refused to back down, a blush formed along the back of my neck and across my cheeks.
And for the first time, he looked away first. But he remained bracketed against the exit of the garage and into the main house. His palm laid flat against the door frame, the smell of his cologne strangely familiar. I worked with him often enough, that shouldn’t be such a surprise. But we were rarely this close to one another. I wasn’t sure who kept it that way, him or I, but I noticed the closeness now. But even with that closeness, he wouldn’t look at me.
I stood immobile in front of Rick, afraid to move. My backpack weighted me down, which was probably the only thing keeping me steady. It used to be manageable but as I was in my final year of my Masters’ degree, it’d become cumbersome. I came over to babysit less and less, maybe once a month… Beth was almost fourteen and out of her violent phase, so her parents were letting her be alone more. She could call if she needed me, and I could drive over.
Now I just visited to get help with my homework from Rick. I’d see Diane every so often but…
My eyes drifted across Rick’s jaw, his neck, unsure if he was going to move or if he was waiting for me.
I couldn’t pinpoint it, but things shifted in the Sanchez household. The mantelpiece still had the photos of a young Beth throughout her Halloween years. The prints on the walls were the same, landscapes and space mixed together. The blood stain beneath the couch had been replaced by new carpet. The cushions had been replaced. The fresh flowers were refreshed weekly, though they looked a little dead today.
Music blared from the back of the house where Beth was going through her teenage angst. I saw her less and less, but I didn’t mind. It was part of babysitting, the kids would grow out of a need for you. It’d be creepy to insist myself back into her life as a friend, at least now. Maybe once she was a little older, if our paths crossed.
And Rick hadn’t looked at me again, his eyes unfocused on the floor beside me as I pushed past him.
That broke the moment and the silence, harshly enough for Rick to catch up with what was going on. “Enjoy your meal, talking about fucking tax brackets, or write-offs, or whatever the fuck those guys do for fun. Eat babies, probably.”
I wish I’d taken a moment longer to appreciate the home. The way the cream carpet broke into tiles through the kitchen. The unruly back garden with the overgrown trees. The simple lounge, the seemingly infinite pantry… The warm garage, a place I’d never see again. Maybe if I’d said goodbye to Diane properly, rather than rush past her in tears. It’s hard to know when things will end. Sometimes you have warning, like the end of your high school career, but most of the time it’s sudden and random.
The divorce hit me in a way I hadn’t expected. It wasn’t my family, or my marriage.
No matter what Diane said, I knew I was part of the problem.
Diane remained kind in the wake of her divorce. I’d wager because she had so few friends of her own, and no support network. Diane was the first of the pair to reach reach out after they split. She said thank you for the help over the years with Beth, and the babysitting. She promised over and over that it was personal differences, things that couldn’t be helped. She didn’t blame me. She gave me their new address and we connected once every couple of months. This ramped up when Beth became pregnant with Summer, as Diane had little in the way of family.
Rick contacted me too, much later and separately. He begged me not to tell Diane or Beth where he was, or what he was doing. But he’d breeze into my apartment once every couple of months to crash on my couch, in during the night and usually gone before I’d woken up. He’d always leave a fifty behind to pay for food or whatever he’d taken, a tooth brush, my whiskey, random things.
Other nights, he’d beg for stories about his daughter and his ex-wife. He was never sober, not in all the times he visited. I had to wonder if I dreamed all these visits, as there was no pattern to them. No proof, not unless you counted the missing items and the money left behind.
After a couple of years the visits dwindled to almost nothing. They were always ghostly, as he’d appear and disappear in the night. No mess, no hint that he’d been in my apartment, aside from the money left to cover whatever value he perceived. Sometimes the money was intergalactic, as I could think of no other way to explain the Monopoly-esque money. I couldn’t find it online and no vendors recognized it.
The worst nights were when he came into my room, to wake me up. This had only happened twice in the three or so years that he visited me. He’d collapse onto the floor and sob in my lap, talking in tongues. He’d tell me about an army he’d torn apart, or a planet that exploded. Heinous things, things beyond human comprehension. This was the shift I’d not noticed; how I’d gone from taking care of Beth to caring for Rick.
That was one thing Rick taught me. Things shift, and you either move with them or get the fuck out of the way.
But things shifted. I knew that for certain.
2001.
The the little Italian restaurant that Marcus and I had agreed to meet at had been closed for bed bugs. We ended up drifting around town until we happened upon a weird fusion diner that served French and Italian food, with a pun I don’t care to repeat. The waitress sat us in the back corner and laid a menu out for each of us, the corners curled and stained with sauces. I could smell nothing but garlic and tomatoes, unsure where the French cuisine fit into the picture given the Olive Garden vibes.
Marcus, as if prepared for the silent tension between us, had a series of hypothetical questions. What was more likely to win in a fight, a bear-sized ant or an ant-sized bear. Who was more popular in high school Santa Claus or Jack Frost. Weird questions, but I had fun with the hypothetical…
Until they stopped being hypothetical.
“What’s more likely, someone gets to the bottom of the ocean or someone goes into space alone?”
“Uh, both are pretty likely.” I smiled at the waitress as she laid out a plate of spaghetti in front of me. She put a large pizza in front of Marcus, who angled the pizza closer as if to signify I wasn’t to touch it.
“What do you mean — ”
“I mean, when you say go into space alone, you mean like… Someone makes their own space ship, sends themselves into space?” I took a bite of spaghetti.
“More or less. Just someone who’s not a huge corporation, or backed by a government. Like how people make their own go-carts.”
“Well then yeah, that one — my friend did it.”
Marcus narrowed his eyes at me over his slice of meat lovers pizza. He tongued the grease as he considered my answer, dubious at best. “Like an imaginary friend?”
“No, a guy I used to babysit for. He tutored me in astrophysics and theoretical physics… Engineering. Baking, too, he’s good at baking.”
“You don’t mean that Sanchez man that breaks onto campus to steal equipment, do you.” He fished some spaghetti from my plate without asking and I angled my plate closer to make it easier. It gave me some sense of control over the situation, given he looked like he might snap my wrist if I touched his pizza.
“Um, yeah. We go way back,” I snapped off a piece of garlic bread to distract myself from the look Marcus gave me at that.
“You don’t believe him, do you?”
I twirled my spaghetti around my fork, my gaze fixed on the plate in front of me.
“Claire, he’s… It’s literally impossible for him to go into space in a personal spaceship, you know that, right?”
“It’s not literally impossible, it’s highly unlikely.” I adjusted my posture in my seat, a sweet smile on my lips. “And I’ve seen it.”
“You’ve seen his space ship,” Marcus echoed, his voice thin.
“I have.”
Marcus looked like he was about to yell but tamped it down, his hands framed against his temples. His tongue poked from between his lips, an unsure smile replaced his tense grin. “Sure. Okay.”
“You asked the question; what’s more likely, someone gets to the bottom of the ocean or someone goes into space alone.”
“It’s meant to be a fun hypothetical,” Marcus rubbed his neck with the flat of his palm, his expression no less annoyed. “I just think it’s a little — um — I guess it’s nice, that you think that.”
I paused mid-bite and set my fork down. “I’m about to get my Masters in aerospace engineering.”
“And?”
“Nevermind,” I picked my fork back up.
2004.
“Swanky graduation, huh? You can smell the nepotism and fake meritocracy from a mile away.”
“Rick,” I smiled at Rick who’d deigned to wear a suit. It was a rare but welcome sight. I had my cap tucked beneath my arms, my weight rested on one leg. “Surprised you accepted the invite. I thought you hated the education system.”
“Oh, I absolutely fucking despise it. But they're not gonna take credit for my hard work."
“What work is that, exactly?” I sipped on the cocktail I’d secured from the open bar downstairs. It was the only reason Rick had attended, I was sure — aside from the work he spoke of.
“You,” he tucked his hands into his pockets, a nod of his head sent my way. “As if you’d have gotten valedictorian without my help.”
“So, it’s not thanks to my essay on the relation between time and light as — ”
“Eugh, shut up, you’re not impressing anyone with your pseudo-science jargon. So don’t even try that shit on me,” he sneered as he cornered me by the antique bookshelf. “I mean it though. You’re my achievement, not theirs.”
From anyone else, this might be a playful tease or a statement of pride. But from Rick, it landed heavier. He was possessive of his family, his friends… Anyone he deigned worthy of his time slotted into his proverbial trophy cabinet. When he said I was his achievement, he meant it.
His fingers danced along the spines of the books, as he’d occasionally tug one out to mutter the title.
“How do you figure that? Me, being your achievement?”
“The fact I have to explain it to you is exactly why you’re my achievement — I helped write your papers, I gave you topics, I proofread your shit. Don’t,” he shoved a book back in to loom closer, as long as he’d gotten in a long time. “Don’t fuck with me on this one, Claire.”
“And that makes me your achievement?” I tutted against my teeth. I expected him to break into his usual tirade, to yell about the shortcomings of the education system and how it’d failed dozens of other successful people… But it didn’t come. Instead he remained between the exit and I, the space far more limited in the low light. He was a little too close and a little too warm, like a radiator left on in the summer.
He reached out to move my hair behind my ear and I panicked. “I’m sorry, about Diane.”
“I don’t wanna talk about that shit tonight, Cee.”
“I know, but I haven’t seen you, to… To say that I was sorry, to hear about the split. Usually you’re black out drunk and beyond words,” I took another sip of my cocktail while Rick picked over the spines of the books.
“Yeah, well…” Rick tongued his lips apart. “I… If I’ve ever come to your apartment drunk, I’m sorry if I shit in your plants, or whatever.”
I didn’t have the heart to recount how many times he’d come to my house in the night to drunkenly cry. I was doubtful if he even knew that he did it, and given the distant look in his eyes, I’d wager he didn’t. “I sent you an invite through um, the number you left — I’m surprised you actually came.”
“And now that I’m here, you’re bringing my ex-wife into this.” He pried a book of poems from the shelf to flick through, his expression soured as he skimmed the pages. “Can’t imagine why I’d avoid you when you make everything about my divorce.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I’d watched his marriage with Diane deteriorate in a way I couldn’t help. It wasn’t for a lack of love, I could tell that much. Not with how he looked at me, the barest shape of remorse behind his eyes.
I got it though. Not in the sense that I agreed, as I’d watched Diane and Beth move on without him. But from a place of understanding, that Rick was a force of his own… His love of his family and his love of science, one had to win out. It was just unfortunate that he couldn’t find it in himself to choose his family.
“Don’t look at me like that, Claire.”
I pinched a smile up at him, my arms crossed so that my cocktail rested by my elbow. “I appreciate you being here. That’s all.”
“Yeah, well, who else have you got?” He dug in his suit jacket until he produced a flask, to top up his drink as well as mine.
“Marcus,” I said, my tone pointed. My gaze had slid to the doorway where Marcus stood, his brown cropped hair slick to his head. He was half a foot taller than me which made him a foot shorter than Rick. I’d never appreciated how tall Rick really was, not until he bracketed me against that doorway back in his old garage.
“Oh my God, you’re still dating Marcus?”
“She is,” Marcus said, his voice razor thin. “Is this Rick?”
A lump rose in my throat. For all the years I’d dated Marcus, he’d never actually met Rick. But he knew of the man, given he was my mentor and somewhat of a friend. Rick angled his body around enough to acknowledge Marcus, a lazy smile on his lips. Marcus took it upon himself to have a rivalry with a man I’d never so much as hugged, let alone had a romantic encounter with.
“And you’re the little accountant man.” Rick looked him over once. “Kinda fat, that’s a surprise. Didn’t know you liked that. Nothing wrong with it,” he whispered that out of the corner of his mouth.
“Yes, this is Rick,” I gestured to the jackass beside me, the one who’d stooped lower to talk more shit in a stage whisper beside my ear. “He was just congratulating me on my graduation.”
"Look, I’m not judging, he’s like a solid six, maybe — and, hey, I would’ve put on weight if I knew — ”
I elbowed Rick, a blush flared around my throat and cheeks.
“Yep, graduation, whatta time, what a time, huh Marky-Mark,” Rick huffed into his double shot of whatever was in his flask.
“Yes, took her long enough to graduate,” Marcus said with a laugh. “As long as you’ve known her, isn’t that right?”
“It’s a Masters degree,” Rick pivoted, his back to me as he looked down at Marcus.
“I just meant, she’s been in college a long time,” Marcus gestured towards me, his gaze fixed to Rick. I saw the spark of possessiveness flare behind Marcus’s eyes but it never eventuated into anything. He was too reserved for that. “Sort of like seeing your daughter graduate I’d imagine.”
“Nah, there were a lot more horses at her graduation ceremony.” Rick swallowed but kept the glass by his lips. “Half as many jackasses though.”
“I’m not going to be out for long,” I interjected. “I’m going to be doing my doctorate next. Not sure if I want to do it in aerospace engineering or theoretical physics yet, though.”
“Again?” Rick groaned. “You’re gonna come back to this hellhole? For a piece of fuckin’ paper?”
“I have to agree… Nine years of schooling to do space engineering, just seems like a lot, doesn’t it.”
“Woah, hey now fuck knuckle,” Rick waved a hand wide, with enough force to send half his drink flying. The books beside him began to sizzle from whatever liquid he’d been drinking. “She took four years for a bachelor’s degree, another two for the Masters’ degree — but Claire did the bachelor’s degree for theoretical physics alongside that, that’s six years,” Rick tallied off on my behalf. He took a long swig of what remained of his drink, his brow raised down at Marcus. “That’s twelve years of schooling, achieved in nine, which is uh, hate to have to explain it to you of all people — nine is a very good number for that. She’s also top of her class you fuckin’ — did your degree in sucking the man’s dick not teach you to count?”
“He’s been drinking,” I said with a gentle tug on Rick’s arm.
“I think you’re the one who’s drinking if you’re with some jackass who talks shit the second the opportunity presents itself.”
“Should I get security — ”
“Absolutely,” Rick said, his teeth gnashed against his bottom lip. “Bring ‘em in, I’m down for a fight. Tear this bitch up!”
“No, no,” I waved my hands as Marcus disappeared. “What the fuck was that?”
“What, honesty? That guy sucks.”
“He’s going to get security, we have to — ”
Rick pulled out the white gun I’d seen in his garage, but it held a green crystal rather than the blue from years ago. That day in particular stood out to me, as it’d been the last time I’d seen any of Rick’s inventions. But what I hadn’t expected was the green wobbly portal that appeared, the one that he disappeared into. He appeared back into the room, a sly smile on his face.
“It’s safe, trust me.”
“What is it — ”
“A surprise.” He vanished again.
57 notes · View notes
moonbeambucky · 3 years
Text
I Promise (Part 1/2)
Pairing: Chris Beck x Reader Word Count: 4106 Warnings: fluff, smut, pregnancy
Summary: Before heading to Mars Chris Beck reconnects with his best friend, unaware of the outcome of their night together. With the burden of his mission will Chris make a promise he can’t keep?
A/N: My first Chris Beck fic! Rather than a really long one shot I’m splitting it into two parts. A big thank you to my love Allie @all1e23​​​ for beta reading 🍕❤️ gif source (x)
Tumblr media
“Hey.”
The soft resonance of Chris’ voice brings tears to your eyes, ones you couldn’t help from slipping out. They fall down the curve of your cheeks past the uneasy smile you wore.
“I kept my promise,” he said. Chris flashed the top row of his bright white teeth, his mouth curving into a boyish smile that reached his eyes, the fine lines crinkling around them. He tilted his head as he looked at you through the screen, a comforting gaze that made you feel as if he was there with you. 
The quality of the video chat is near perfect making you almost forget Chris was millions of miles away. He looked the same, not that you expected him to look different. It had only been a few months since you last saw each other. 
His hair looks darker than usual but you suppose it’s the low lighting of the small room he’s in. He’s bundled up in a thick NASA sweatshirt and you can see several more layers he has on beneath the collar. Chris looks tired but that’s expected, what he’s doing right now is not a walk in the park. You know it’s the reason why it’s taken so long for him to contact you but you wish he did it sooner. 
More tears flood your eyes, burning their way out as you wished he never left at all. You can barely hear Chris over the sound of your own sobs.
“Please don’t cry,” he pleaded.
You lifted your head towards the screen and seeing the concern on his face only made you miss him more, wishing he was there to console you in person.
Your hand swept away tears from your cheek as your voice cracked saying his name. “Chris…” 
Tumblr media
The streets are simmering with the heat of a summer that couldn’t wait to officially start. Calendars be damned, it was hot. You indulged in a cool shower when you got home from work but time didn’t allow for a languid evening of staying in your towel as you applied serums and moisturizers, lotions and creams and every other post-shower pampering you normally do. Tonight was dinner with a friend and you needed to get ready.
Chatter filled the air of the patio, a small secluded outdoor space at the back of an Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side. It had an Old World Tuscan feel, from the stucco walls that looked purposely imperfect. Green patina shutters hung beside a wrought iron lantern that glowed in the early evening. Lush greens and bright flowers sat atop the half wall that surrounded the dining area making you forget you were in the city.
Chris looked the same, not that you expected him to be different. It had only been about two years since you’ve seen each other, right before he began training for his mission and now you can’t believe it was about to happen. Never would you have expected that the little boy down the block who became your best friend would actually be going to Mars.
For most of your lives you were in the same school, starting in Mrs. Kramer’s kindergarten class where you stuck together; two kids that were nervous about making friends and finding comfort in each other. As the years went on you weren’t always in the same classes but your friendship continued to grow. Chris was picked on for having a girl as a best friend and the girls always teased that he was your “boyfriend.” It never felt that way with Chris. He was your friend first and you never saw him as anything more. 
By the time you were in middle school Chris was already taking advanced classes in math and science and the only class you had together was art which he was famously terrible at. It was there you asked him a huge favor, whispering to him at the sink as you rinsed off your paint brushes. “Could you kiss me?” Chris turned as red as a boiling lobster, immediately sweating as if he was being roasted alive himself. It was later that day walking home from school that you clarified what you meant.
There was a boy, Justin Kaufman, who was the coolest kid in your grade. You had a crush on him like everyone else and you were shocked when he asked if you would go with him to the dance on Friday. You were worried he might try to kiss you and being inexperienced made you nervous. Justin was really popular and if you were a bad kisser then the whole school would know it. Chris was your friend, someone you trusted, someone you could practice with just to make sure you didn’t make a fool of yourself. 
You had no frame of reference for kissing back then apart from one sided smooches to pictures of movie stars that you had a crush on. But feeling Chris’ lips press back against yours was… nice. The best part about it was that things didn’t feel awkward after. Chris was still your best friend and nothing changed. 
A server hands you a menu and you thank him, scanning through it to see what you might be interested in. Chris looks up at the same time you do, wondering if you wanted an appetizer.  You nodded letting him choose, considering the limited food options he’ll have for over the next year. 
“Can you drink?”
Chris’ nose crinkled as he smiled. “In space? No. Tonight? Yes,” he chuckled softly. 
Two glasses of red wine were set on the table as you indulged in delicious food, catching up as much as you could before Chris’ mission. 
“So you’d love what happened today,” you began, leaning closer, “We filmed a restoration video and yours truly was in it.”
Chris’ eyes lit up as he gasped. “I love those! You have to send it to me. Hopefully I can see it before I go. What was it?”
“A sixteenth century European oil painting.” You went into detail and Chris loved listening to your knowledge of art history. It was no wonder that was your major, taking your studies further to work as a conservator at the Met.
Chris swallowed his food quickly to speak. “You were always good at that– art, attention to detail. Remember when we had to sculpt our own faces?” he chuckled.
There was a short burst of laughter as you remembered that day from so long ago. “Yes! Thankfully the real you doesn’t look anything like that abomination you made.” 
Chris drops his head down to hide a bashful smile that mixed in with laughter. He’s enjoying himself, catching up with you, eating. This was so good. He couldn’t help but scoop up another forkful of pasta, not expecting you to ask him a question. “So, how are you feeling?”
He paused to reflect and wiped a bit of sauce from the corner of his mouth. “I’m nervous… excited.” Taking a sip of wine, he sets the glass down carefully on the table. Chris’ face has grown more serious. “My mom’s worried.”
“Of course she is, I don’t blame her. I’m worried. Mars is… well it’s Mars! It’s not around the block.”
He chuckled. “No, it’s definitely not.” 
Chris is heading home to Connecticut tomorrow to spend the next few days with his parents. Chloe, his younger sister is coming in as well so they can all spend some time together before he has to fly down to Florida.
“Then it’s go for launch!” he said with a beaming smile, though Chris had to correct himself for the sake of accuracy. Once he’s down there the crew has to quarantine for at least ten days and go through a bunch of pre-flight checkups and procedures first. “Are you gonna watch?”
The incredulous look you gave him answered his question. “Did you really have to ask? Of course I’m going to watch the launch.” 
His eyes twinkled as he smiled back at you. “Oh and don’t worry I put you on my contact list so you can send me emails. Not sure how quickly I'll get them since CAPCOM directs it back to us. And as long as we have the right satellite coverage we can even do video calls.”
“Like Facetime?”
“In theory yeah, more like space Skype,” he laughed. “It’ll be nice to stay in touch.”
Your smile was bright in the dimness of the evening. You can’t imagine not staying in touch with Chris. The longest you had ever gone was during his Air Force training. He checked in with his parents when he first arrived and from then on it was sporadic. You were able to send him letters though and tried to write him every week though your own schooling and an apprenticeship at the Louvre had taken up a lot of time but that was how your relationship was. 
No matter where you were in life, across the world or hovering above it in the International Space Station, you always kept in touch. It’ll be harder now considering he’s going farther than ever before but you’ll make it work. 
Chris would be back by next November and his mom was already planning a big party for his return, one he’s certain you’ll be invited to. Though you haven’t seen his parents in a while you still kept in touch with them from time to time seeing as they were still friends with your own parents.
“It’s crazy to think you’re about to go to Mars.” 
Chris swipes a palm down his mouth, leaning his elbows against the table as he muses, “I know. Feels like I got the call yesterday.”
It was a night similar to this one, where Chris was in New York celebrating with you and other friends on his selection to be part of the Ares III mission. He had been working at NASA for a few years, doing biomedical research in their center in Virginia and now he was about a month out from spending two years training for his long term mission to Mars. 
He stayed at your apartment that night, continuing the celebration in your own private way. You had come a long way from learning to kiss with Chris. It wasn’t a big deal, neither was it the first time you had sex with each other. It was a special dynamic that worked for the two of you, one you don’t think you could have pulled off with anyone else. With Chris you had trust that was built up over the years. He was safe, he was your friend and this was nothing more than just sex. 
It didn’t happen too often, a couple of times here and there. You both dated a few people over the years and even though you were single at the moment you thought about the promise you made to each other as teens. “If we’re not married to other people by the time we’re thirty let’s promise we’ll marry each other.” Such a silly promise but thirty seemed so far away at the time. 
Chris couldn’t make it to celebrate for your thirtieth birthday but you did get a card from him where he joked that the wedding was off. You were in a long term relationship, one that Chris thought would lead to marriage but you ended things a year later. It wasn’t there; that natural spark that made your heart skip a beat every time they smiled brighter than the sun, or when their eyes sparkled like stars in the night every time they looked at you. 
You walked through the streets with Chris after dinner, casually strolling back towards your apartment and stretching out the inevitable goodbye that you didn’t want to say. It was so good to be with him in person again, not realizing how badly you missed it until the hours started ticking closer towards him leaving. By the time you get to your apartment Chris decided to come up stairs, wanting to spend as much of his time with you as he could. 
Chris sits comfortably on your couch, cozied up beside a large pillow. He places his wine glass down on your coffee table, needing to gesticulate with both hands as he starts getting into talking about his research. He’s been published before in numerous academic journals and now he’s going on about how excited he is for his latest topic, musculoskeletal alterations and the effects of deep space travel. 
He’s cute when he really gets into it, crinkles pulling around the corner of his eyes as his whole face lights up. You let out a shaky breath, smiling even wider yourself as you watched the passion he had for science and learning, one that matched the level you had for art and preserving their history. 
Chris apologized for rambling on, taking a sip of wine to clear the dryness from his throat. 
“So, give me the lowdown… can you jerk off in space?” 
He covered his mouth to prevent the wine he was choking on from spitting out. You couldn’t help the sly smile on your face that cracked wider the redder he became. 
“Well?”
Chris cleared his throat again. Pinching the bridge of his nose he looked down into his glass, chuckling a bit as he said, “The official stance from NASA is no comment so I’m going to stick with that.” 
“That’s not an answer!” You could barely hold a faux sneer before you broke into a smile. Teasing Chris was all in good fun, something that went both ways from the time you were young. 
You adjusted the way your legs were folded underneath you, brushing your knee against his leg. Chris lifted his arm up, a silent invitation for you to get closer and so you did, resting your head against him as his arm came around you.
Things had quieted down and you listened to the steady beat of his heart. This would be the last time you would see Chris for a long time. Your arm reached around to hold him for as long as you could.
“I’m going to miss you,” you whispered against him. 
Chris’ chest sunk as he exhaled a deep sigh. “I’m going to miss you too.” His arm squeezed a little tighter around you as he pressed his lips gently against your forehead. “Just look to the stars and I’ll be there.” 
His words brought a comforting smile to your face, one you shared with him as you tilted your head to look up at him. “Do you want to stay?”
The corner of his mouth tugs a little as Chris thinks about it. There’s nothing he really misses at his hotel more than he does you. The only reason he came to New York was to see you first before going home. 
“Yeah, I’d love to stay.”
You shifted yourself on top to straddle Chris, carding your fingers through his hair and taking in the gaze of his eyes that became pools of deep blue. You closed the distance between your lips, feeling his hands come around your back. Soft moans bubbled in your throat and soon you found yourself being carried to the bedroom. 
Clothes were discarded, lips were on skin that burned hotter than the stars. You writhe against him, thighs quivering around his head, reaching out to grip him by the hair, holding Chris in place as he coaxed out your release. His lips taste like you and he licks them again, savoring your sweetness as he crawls up your body. 
He tears open the condom, gathering your wetness on him as he slowly pushed in. A sinful moan falls from your lips as you feel the stretch of him inside you, inch by inch until he was fully seated. An experimental roll of his hips sets the pace for pleasure. 
Your hands graze up the curve of his arms, reaching his back and digging in half moon shapes into his skin with your nails as he thrusts into you.
“Ahh fuck, you feel so fucking good,” he panted, moaning as his hips snapped forward. His name fell from your lips, a sweet sound that he couldn’t deny he loved hearing. 
He changed his angle, hitting you with deeper, longer strokes. His mouth found your nipple, sucking at your peak as his hips gained speed; groaning and squeezing his eyes tightly as he fucked you, ready to explode.
“Shit!” Chris hissed, backing off quickly. You’re confused and concerned, sitting up and turning the light on beside your bed to see what was wrong. “The condom broke,” he said, still catching his breath.
Chris got up to discard it in the bathroom as you sat on the bed, crossing an arm over your chest, waiting nervously. When Chris walked back in the room he apologized for that, the stiffness of his length giving you relief that he hadn’t finished so you continued. Using your hands on him as he let out soft moans, distractedly opening another condom that you rolled down on him. You straddled him, leaning forward to capture his lips for a sweet kiss first before you lined yourself up and sank down on him. 
Soon enough you were riding waves of bliss together, gripping Chris as you clenched around him, burning white hot behind your eyes. He’s right behind you, on the edge of pleasure, exploding inside you like a supernova.
Dropping your head onto his chest, it felt like your body was made of overcooked noodles that splayed loosely against him as you were desperate to catch your breath, coming down from the heights you soared to. Chris’ arms hold you close against him, his lips languidly peppering kisses to your sheen covered skin. 
When his heartbeat returned to a steady pace Chris went to the bathroom to once again discard the condom and you followed behind him to use it. He went to the kitchen to get something to drink, bringing back an ice cold glass of water for you. 
Back in bed you cuddled together, with goosebumps breaking out on your skin as Chris’ fingertips graze gently up and down your arm. Your eyes feel heavy but you don’t want to give in because when you wake up you know you’ll have to say goodbye and that’s not something you want to do. 
“You’ll stay in touch, right?” you murmured against him, as worry took root within your stomach. His quick and emphatic reply should have been enough but you couldn’t help yourself from needing to make sure you would still hear from him during the mission. “And call me? With the space Skype?”
“I promise,” he said, as a smile spread across his face. Chris’ hand stopped moving, settling on your arm and holding you close. 
“Promise me one more thing?” He hummed in response and you continued, “Stay safe up there.”
Chris tilted his head down and feeling him shift you looked up as he said, “I promise.”
In the moonlight his eyes sparkled like clear tropical waters. Slowly, a soft smile spread across your face as you stared at him. “I love you, Chris.” There was no romanticism behind it even after being together, just pure love for your friend. 
Chris exhaled, planting a kiss to your temple. “I love you too, Y/N.” 
Despite wanting to spend your remaining hours together awake you reluctantly fell asleep in his arms, tearfully parting in the morning. Two weeks later you watched as the space shuttle launched, with proud tears filling your eyes as Chris’ picture flashed on your screen along with the rest of the crew. Seeing that made you feel hopeful and overjoyed at the prospect of hearing from him soon.
Tumblr media
“Chris… I’m pregnant.” It was a relief to finally tell him but you didn’t feel any better, uncertainty weighed heavy on your shoulders, crushing the space for your lungs to expand. Chris knows but now what?
He’s silent, his lips parted slightly and you don’t know if there’s a delay in the feed. Maybe you should have emailed it to him. You were going to at first and instead chose to word the importance of needing to speak to him in such a clandestine way that you were contacted by someone from NASA. Upon speaking to them they allowed your email to be dispatched and then you waited. 
Chris’ eyebrows knit together, his shoulders slumping down as he stared at your face through the screen. He didn’t have any doubts, you were always truthful with each other, but he still wondered how.
“We put on a new one, I thought…” 
“I thought we were good too,” you said, letting out a shaky breath. 
You weren’t just pregnant, you were pregnant with his child and based off of some quick calculations in his head you were nearing the end of your first trimester. “H-how are you? I mean, how are you feeling?”
“Physically or…” Nervous laughter bubbles out of your throat. 
This was hard on you, the physical symptoms weren’t fun but you could manage. What was more difficult was not telling anyone. It was early enough in your pregnancy that you could hide it from your family. They still lived in Hartford and hadn’t been down to visit yet but you couldn’t avoid them forever. Work was a different story. You had to let your boss know you would have to modify your duties as working around solvents and other chemicals would not be safe.
There was never a doubt in your mind about keeping the baby. When you were younger you imagined having children by now but it didn’t work out that way. It was something you were okay with, finding life fulfilling in different ways. Work was incredible, you were able to travel and though your relationships hadn’t worked out in the past you didn’t hold on to any resentments. Life was always complete and now things were going to be different. 
You wanted to speak to Chris first before telling your family because you needed to know your expectations. Chris had a life of his own and you didn’t want your choice of having a baby to make him feel obligated in any way. You were an adult; a smart, independent woman and could do this on your own.
“I know this isn’t something we planned but…” Chris exhaled, the corners of his mouth lifting upward, “There’s no one I’d rather do this with than you... I promise.” 
Chris’ eyes glisten with tears as his smile grows and you find yourself brushing away your own from the corner of your eyes. It was comforting to know Chris will be part of the baby’s life. Truthfully it would have been weird if he wasn’t in some capacity considering how close you were. For now you have a lot of time on how you’re going to figure things out for the future.
After the call Chris reflected in silence, staring out of the giant triangular windows of one of the Hermes’ common areas into the vastness of space. He was lost in thought, startled by his name being called by a crewmate. He turned to see Mark whose bright smile fell with concern upon seeing Chris’ face, asking if he was alright.
“I’m gonna be a dad,” Chris responded, his tone mournful in the realization he’ll be missing the birth. He accepted the congratulatory hug Mark gave him, sighing heavily as they separated. “I always thought I’d be there for that.” 
You were due in March and Chris hated the fact that he won't be there for the first nine months of his child’s life, moments and milestones he’ll never get back. He doesn’t like leaving this all on you. He knows you can do it but you shouldn’t have to. 
“I can’t pretend this isn’t hard but don’t think of it in terms of what you’re missing, look at what you’re gaining, what you have to look forward to when you come home.” Chris nodded, his smile trying to come back. “I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend,” Mark teased. 
“I don’t. Y/N, she’s…” Chris’ face lights up as he thinks about you, which does not go unnoticed by Mark. “We’ve been friends since we were kids. She’s always meant so much to me and now…” 
Mark gave Chris an honest smile as he spoke plainly, “And now you’re having a baby.” 
With a proud smile that stretched from ear to ear he affirmed, “Yeah… we are.” 
PART 2
519 notes · View notes