#BONKERS IN YONKERS AND SICK

[theworldinclines]

[mindstriker]

This idea has been cracking me up all morning and I'm way too lazy to try and make it into a shitty comic or fanfiction post so I'm just getting it out here: The BG3 crew all having a miserable time in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, but make it a sitcom episode.

Lae'zel and Wyll are sitting on a log, staring into the camera. It's their combined interview hour, as the only two people not going fucking insane. Between the two of them, they're trying to transcribe the odd behaviour of everyone else around.

And what exactly are they up to? Well,

Gale: Hasn't been the same since the encounter with Elminster, and it's starting to freak everyone out a little bit, to be honest. Somehow, he's gone from being one of the least intimidating people at camp to vaguely... ominous, at times. It's unsettling when he's quiet. Even moreso when the days start passing, and despite everyone's agreement that it's a horrible idea, he's shown no signs of refusing to detonate himself. And even more so again when he of all people starts stringing dead pixies together to make use of Sharran magic. Even Shadowheart is a wee bit concerned, and Shar is her bread and butter right now.

Shadowheart: Speaking of her: yeah, I'm gonna be real with you. The only person putting up with her fascination with the Sharran magic clouded over Moonrise right now is Gale. Everyone else is sick of hearing about it, and even more sick of experiencing its ill effects. Even Gale is tired of it, to be frank- resents the fact that he's spending what he thinks are his last days in Shar-induced misery fog- but listening to her passes the time. She's basically gone full-on worshipper mode at this point, like an overzealous kid attending a religious day camp.

Astarion: Starts acting like an ill Victorian child a few days in, miserable because he's being forced to waste precious days free to walk in the sun stuck under Shar's cloud of cold, dank fog. And also because there's absolutely jackshit to eat but other crew members- 2/6 of whom are inedible. And also because everyone is at least 70% less pleasant to be around at the moment due to shadow-related misery. It's not even fun bothering anyone anymore when all you're going to get in return is a tired look or a sigh. And also he's stuck fighting an orthon to get important info about whether he's going to die or not. And also- look, everything just really sucks right now, honestly. All of it.

Karlach: Does her damndest to stay positive, but it'll never not be unnerving that she of all people now feels chilled to the bone. Despite her usual willingness to see the best in people, listening to Shadowheart's constant glee about the curse making everyone else miserable has gotta spark up some tension at times. In general, I think she'd be fighting hard to cling to her usual "enjoy everything while you can, Karlach, your time is limited" mentality in the face of so much outright misery and gloom. It's hard to enjoy the days you have left with your friends when your friends have mostly gone fucking bonkers over yonkers, and that makes everything so much harder.

[thesecondcitadel]

I grow more and more fond of blank slate every time I listen to it. it's fascinating that each episode of the arc shows us a character giving very logical and thought-out but completely insane reasons for why they can't be allowed to live another day.

the way that jet has traditionally been able to keep himself away from total self destruction is by reminding himself that he can still be useful, he can still do something good, so the second he felt like he was too sick to function he stopped being able to balance his guilt with his potential value in his mind and therefore stopped thinking he warranted being allowed to live. he can't conceive of himself as being worthy enough as a person that his potential value could just be the joy other people feel from having him around, or the joy he feels from being alive. he tried to atone for his past by constructing a perfectly helpful and unburdensome self, inevitably failed, and therefore thought he was unworthy of life because of something fundamentally unchangeable within him.

sasha freely admits that the task she set for herself of cataloging and pausing the progression of the entire galaxy was impossible from the off, but she still thinks it's an unforgivable personal failure that she couldn't get it done anyway. she knew that no human could ever be as perfect as she needed to be, so she tried to kill her humanity and become something more than, another blatantly impossible task. in a way, her death wish after she gave up on herself was the closest she came to becoming more than a person; she wanted director w to be a legend, and as buddy always says, a legend is a dead thing. she tried to destroy her self by destroying her past, inevitably failed, and therefore thought she was unworthy of life because of something fundamentally unchangeable within her.

bonkers yonkers.

[gutterprophet]

fibbonacci numbers and your favorite multiple/s of three for spotify wrapped!!

FIBONACCI NUMBERS!!!!

1: Wild Blue Yonder by The Amazing Devil

sawyer @tempestuous-cosplay introduced me to this song!!! and to The Amazing Devil in general. i'm obsessed with the whole album but this song particularly does things with harmonizing the two singers, not just with their voices but with the content of the lyrics too, that makes me go bonkers fucking yonkers

(1)

2: No Bad Days by Bastille

this was also a recommendation from a friend, novy @coldwind-shiningstars! been listening to it a lot this year while dealing with dying of degenerative disability problems

when you got the call that no one wants to have / sick of hospitals, to paper over cracks / you weren't scared at all, but never turned away / fuck em, fuck em, fuck em, fuck em all / you'll have no bad days / you'll have no bad days / when you're gone, gone / you'll have no more bad days

3: The Legend Of Chavo Guerrero by The Mountain Goats

he was my hero back when i was a kid / you let me down but chavo never once did / you called him names to try and get beneath my skin / now your ashes are scattered on the wind / i heard his son got famous, heard they went nationwide / coast to coast with his dad by his side / i don't know if that's true, but i've been told: / it's real sweet to grow old

a good song for staying loyal to the things that brought you strength as an abused child even if they're kind of lame, and for the day you realize you are not an abused child anymore, and for looking forward to the day you find out if it's true that it's real sweet to grow old

5: Chant from Hadestown

spent this year as a homeless runaway afraid for my life, ghosting from food pantry to welfare office to parking garage, trying to stay fed and warm and unfindable and alive, humming low, keep your head keep your head low, if you want to keep your head, oh you gotta keep your head low, looking low and looking high, there is no food left to find...

8: Fine by Lemon Demon

the convenient truth is / light is on the way, we'll be having a fun time! / it's such a lovely day, we should pocket the sunshine! / i know that every bomb has a silver lining!

it just makes me happy :)

13: Our Lady Of The Underground from Hadestown

another homeless runaway song. soundtrack for getting very good at doing crimez for food and shelter and medical care. our lady of the underground, our lady of ways, our lady of means

21: The Only House That's Not On Fire Yet by Lemon Demon

soundtrack for having conflicted feelings about what i left behind when i ran, and the truth and falseness in the quote "when you're raised in a burning house you think the whole world is on fire. but it's not."

a picture of you / killing me with deja vu / don't know what i'll do when i escape at last / when the end of time has passed / but something keeps me as a pet / the only house that's not on fire yet

(the punchline is there is no punchline the punchline is there is no punchline the punchline is there is no punchline the punchline is--)

34: God's Gonna Cut You Down by Johnny Cash

soundtrack for not being able to believe i was allowed to get away, and waiting with growing dread for the day i am caught and brought back

you can run on for a long time / run on for a long time / run on for a long time / but sooner or later god will cut you down

55: Fuck Was I by Jenny Owen Youngs

soundtrack for trauma bonds

i'm developing my sense of humor / til i can laugh at my heart between your teeth / til i can laugh at my face beneath your feet / love plows through me like a dozer / i've got more give than a bale of hay / and there's always a big mess left over / with the "what did you do?" and the "what did i say?" / skillet on the stove, it's such a temptation / maybe i'll be the special one that doesn't get burned... / what the FUCK was i thinking?

89: The Black Death from Something Rotten

what's that coming up the silk road out of china? / the black death! black death! / what's that creeping round your pee-pee and your vagina? / the black death! black death! (woo!) / the black death, it's gonna get ya! / the black death, it's gonna hit ya! / with those blisters oozing like syrup / that pesky little pestilence is killing half of europe!!!

it's a jaunty showtune about the bubonic plague, need i say more?

my favorite multiple of 3 is 21 but that's a fibbonacci number so i'll do 27, because it contains my all-time favorite number (7)

27: Curses by The Crane Wives

soundtrack for dying of mysterious health problems in a haunted house while my two roommates, my dog, and i were all being driven slowly insane by invisible forces lurking in the walls (it turns out when offered a surprisingly affordable but visibly rotting house you should probably have it tested for toxic mold and lead in the pipes before moving in)

there's a fire in my brain and i'm burning up / oh my, oh my / keep running for the sink but the well is dry / oh my, oh my // this house says my name like an elegy / oh my, oh my / echoing where my ghosts all used to be / oh my, oh my / there's still cobwebs in the corner / and the backyard's full of bones / won't you stay with me, my darling / when this house don't feel like home? / when this house don't feel like home?

[kwehxing]

"Um. I can explain." sounds like something written in goblin mode I want to know more!!

This one is borderline WIP because it's a master doc of two complete fics (Heat & Sweet, Get Sun) and one almost done WIP (Love Languages) but you are so correct about it being written in goblin mode 🤧 all three works are Lucien/Edmond from NU🦀

(*grandma voice* back in my day Lucien/Edmond wasn't even a ship tag recognized by ao3) I got tag wrangler-senpai to notice me with these three fics so call that my Moment of the Year lol also I need u to know Lucien is a throw-away side character from this game, had maybe three lines of dialogue, and is also already dead in the present canon so yes I was absolutely bonkers over yonkers for fixating on this particular ship amsjdhdjsk

Love Languages is about uhhhhh two people who care for each other but have different means of expressing it and that aren't always compatible with the other, but it's fine they work it out 🥺 it's about the confusion of being in love. The yearning. Also it's a sick fic idk it's a lot of things I was basically climbing the walls of my enclosure as I was writing this

[softer-ua]

I bet the child mortality rate in bnha is insane, just mind boggling especially for families with more advanced quirks and longer quirk linage

Like aside from just being murked in the street by a random villain attack, aside from a random other child accidentally murking your child, aside from your child accidentally murking themselves when their quirk develops

How many just die from having a quirk their body can’t handle?

We’ve seen several who’s quirks hurt them just by existing

How much do you think that belt cost and what would have happened to him if he couldn’t get it?

What kinda maintenance do you think Iida needs that’s just never mentioned because he’s always had the resources to have it done without thought? 

It’s to the point we’re Deku breaking his bones and Dabi faking his death were never seen as freak accidents and never caused any widespread panic.

Deku straight up broke all of his fingers several times over on live national television and yes never immediately rushed to get medical aid, and the entire country didn’t fly into a panic? Imagine if we watch Michael Phelps purposesly dislocated his shoulders to swim faster or something?

There would be a global pants shitting, the ethics of the games and the responsibility of the staff would be a never ending debate “Who could have prevented this?!” “Why did they let him compete like that?!” And Phelps is an adult. People still talk about Kier Strung who twisted her ankle right before her final vault and how she chose to continue on, and since then gymnastics has been heavily scrutinized for pushing their athletes too hard.

The fact that they didn’t immediately call the match at the first broken finger is insane, for it to happen 10 more times and his arm entire arm is absolutely bonkers mcfucken yonkers!

The shit this society probably deems as normal for child safety is insane, it seems to have just come to “if they die they die” type of deal, fuck they probably weren’t upset about Bakugo being physically restrained because they assumed he was having some kinda of fit from quirk over use, like a more volatile form of Denkis brain shorting out

No wonder so many of them come from one child households, you get one miracle baby who’s potential quirk genes don’t kill it before birth than you spend all your time and resources preparing for what might happen when the kids quirk does develop.

Or what might happen to the parent, they’re have been several orphans in this story, Tsuyus parents seem almost recklessly confident considering how many kids they have and the fact that they mostly also just drop into hibernation when cold.

It’s probably common practice to save up a kinda nest egg just for future kids hospital/legal/support item fees. (And that’s what Inko uses to by Deku all that hero merch.)

Hell Urarakas parents are probably only poor because of medical debt/legal fees from her quirk(we know that even now it sometimes makes her sick and that she uses it without asking) and just don’t wanna tell her, I mean they work in construction, probably the most lucrative and dependable source of income in the entire bnha world, buildings/roads are being replaced daily

Good for them not telling her though, I wouldn’t want that sweet little face knowing it was putting us in the poor house either

[weepylucifer]

A thing about me is that I go bonkers in fucking yonkers for sickfic. Especially the scenario where,, you know how sometimes, when you’re under a lot of stress, the body won’t really allow you to get sick bc there’s so much else going on? And then when the external stress is removed, the body can finally unload everything it held in, and boom, you collapse like a Victorian maiden on the fainting couch and you suddenly have the flu?

Love to do that to a character. I will do it over and over until it becomes my fic calling card. My go-to trope

[bookiedoodles]

When you have a lot of crackships that only occasionally get a couple of interactions, you really feel like in a dream when one of such ships gets its own episodes in the show. I still can't believe that Huntlow is real. Why can't people let us enjoy things we love?? Like, we literally have GRAINS of the desired content, and we are happy even with that! We are by no means a big fandom, considering that with these two characters (Hunter and Willow) there are ships that actually occupy a large place among the content of the fandom, namely: Gol\ \\dric and Bosh\\low. We are not even allowed to feel a little bit of happiness from the fact that our otp is getting a bit of canon stuff. To be honest, I'm really sick of this anti-bullshit. JUST LET US VIBE WITH OUR COMFORT SHIP, FOR GOD'S SAKE! I absolutely don't want to ruin my day by bumping into a №9999 Huntlow slander post.

I am very close to starting a war with that part of the fandom that is like a muddy spot on a banana :\

LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY!!!!!!

Now tbh I can’t fully relate bc I only ever thought about huntlow after watching ASIAS, so I can’t fully comment on the whole “crack ship suddenly getting crumbs” part, but I totally get it!! And even STILL there isn’t really much for Huntlow, but it’s totally awesome that a ship that seemed so bonkers in Yonkers and totally unattainable is suddenly getting at least a smidge of a nod from the show… that’s exciting!!!! We have all the right to be going bananas!!!! So the fact that anti’s are being so pissy about it is just. Sad.

Also their reasons for not liking it are crazy. I mean!!! Sure, the ages is really an “up to you” kinda thing. I personally don’t see a problem with their age gap, but I can understand if that does make some people uncomfortable. However, if their age gap is really the only ammunition you have to be shitty to people who do ship it… then good lord just put the water gun away.

And now that we’re speaking up and being like “personally I don’t see the age gap as that big of a deal, considering Willow is turning 15 and Hunter is 16”, now they seem to think they need to come up with OTHER reasons as to why it’s a terrible ship. To the point that it’s just BLATANT LYING. Just say you don’t like the ship!!! You can not like the ship, that’s fine!! Just leave us alone!!!

ALSO THERE REALLY GENUINELY IS NOT A LOT OF HUNTLOW SHIPPERS OUT THERE IDK WHY THEY THINK THERES SO MANY OF US LOL??? Like they’re so fucking WORRIED about us when we don’t even take up THAT much of the community.

[m0r1bund]

[Image: A sketch page of some sort of space marine lookin’ gal gone monster. She’s top-heavy with big ‘ol claws, like a werewolf, but if a werewolf had her face fused with a gas mask and a bunch of cybernetics. frayed wires and tubes dangle from her head, neck, spine, and ribs, forming a motile mane. In one drawing she wears a duster full of bulletholes that’s a few sizes too short for her, brandishing an oversized pistol with a blade attached to it.

Accompanying her is a research assistant who looks friendly enough, if a bit in over her head. She’s tall, lightly armored, and wears her hair up in a wavy ponytail. She seems to be much more ‘analog’ than her cohort, wearing glasses and a relatively simple prosthetic leg.

In another drawing, the R.A. holds her hat over her head, shielding herself from the rain. She shares a moment with the soldier, apparently before her transformation;

R.A.: God I miss my mom. You ever miss your folks, chief?

Chief: I was grown in a vat. ]

◆

*plastering my deranged little drawings on the wall* I Can Explain.

So a ~week ago, I had a dream about this Warhammer 40k-ass space marine who saves the life of a scrawny little research assistant, but pays the ultimate price and gets infected with the Diseases and the Sicknesses, which turn her into a shambling biomechanical monster. But the two of them are in love! And they are saved through the power of love, and also the power of dodging the draft.  

Somehow, this activated the part of my brain that has lain dormant since I was like 9 years old, when I’d use my brother’s copy of WH40k: Dawn of War to act out trilogy-length adventure stories. I’ve been thinking a Normal Amount about these two women and drawing shitty little comics ever since.

◆

I guess since this is the first doodle in the batch it would be good to introduce these two.

The Chief is like… She’s exactly what you’d expect from someone who has been groomed from birth to be a living weapon for an imperial regime. She has a lot of deprogramming to do. But she’s remarkably agreeable and even pretty well-intentioned, if you can get past the gruff exterior and the bonkers yonkers internal moral code that was drilled into her. Really, you get the sense that something in her is pushing back against all this, despite every effort to wire her otherwise…

The R.A. comes from a podunk little desert planet. Its people are so “backwards” and “uncivilized,” the land so “hostile,” that the extent of their relationship with the Empire is a yearly tithe that they forget to collect most years. This is, of course, code for “people who live in a desert in a non-sessile way that doesn’t align with settler expectations, and as fortune would have it, they’re spared the strife of ‘civilization’ in their invisibility and the perceived uselessness of their lands.”

The rest of the deployment considers her a luddite from a backwater shithole. She’s fine with this. In reality, she’s a polymath at heart, and is a talented mechanic, engineer, and general techie. She just happens to know enough about the Empire that she does Not want their technology anywhere near her body, thank you! Sometimes she feels like the only one in the universe who has gone outside and touched grass, and it’s driving her banana sandwich. But she’s not about to tell the shambling instruments of war called her coworkers that there’s, like, actual plants and stuff back home. That would be bad.

Well, maybe she’d tell one person. But only if she asks really really nicely.

[satanfemme]

feeling SO extra insane for my birthday today. mostly in a derogatory killing biting and violence way, but also in a bit of a fun hyper way too lol

by the end of my shift today I was over my cold (tho when I was starting my shift.... yeowch!) AND also I'm back on adderall (after taking a break from it yesterday due to reasons of: "was too sick to function either way" and "needed to have an actual appetite") so basically all of that to say I'm currently very bonkers yonkers and full of soo much excess energy.

also I've decided to ignore my therapist's advice about not taking my afternoon dose after 12. cause like I'll try that later in the week just to see what the difference is, but for rn I Need this guaranteed after-work energy boost - like that's the whole Point!!!! and I've been (relatively) so productive in the past 3 hours! I'll just also need to remember to take a sleeping med at a reasonable time so I don't stay up all night (but, I need to do that anyways, whether I feel too awake or not, so 🙄. whats new here. I just need practice with this) anyways this is all a lil overshare-y probably but here u go friends and internet strangers. life update <3 kisses

(don/t reblog)

[cessblood]

online college is going to make me go bonkers inside of yonkers its only day 4 and im so sick and sad

[summerofspock]

Faulkner and Houghton!!!!

houghton: what’s something you love that people compliment your pieces on?

I'm a total sucker if you note my poetic devices. I like the way words sound so I tend towards alliteration and assonance which dont get as much play in prose as in poetry so when people notice I go bonkers fucking yonkers

faulkner: what tropes do you LOVE writing? which ones are your guilty pleasure?

I like writing sick fic. I dont actually write a lot that falls in that genre but most of my multi chaps have at least one instance of caregiving.

My guilty pleasure to write is mutual pining while fucking. Like yes please. Its painful and I LOVE it.

[jawsplitter]

sick bubblegum by rob zombie makes me go bonkers fucken yonkers

[aurosoul]

life update:

1. got a job with a local company that does landscaping and lapidary (gem/rock cutting)

I haven’t been formally hired yet but they want me to go the the DMV and get my driver’s license copied “because on occasion I may need to drive to pick up parts and they need it to send to their employee insurance company” so like........ I think that implies enough. they also want me to do some graphic/web design for them, which is sick

the management is also evidently trans-friendly because I haven’t been misgendered a SINGLE time during all my interactions (two in person interviews and a handful of emails and phone calls). this was also completely unprompted - literally the only thing I did was write “preferred name: Ewan” next to my legal name on the application. and these are primarily older, rough around the edges mechanic dudes!!!! it’s a fucking miracle

2. I got approved for free state insurance and it’s actually really fucking good. like it’s the same insurance I had before that paid for me to go to Menninger, not once, but TWICE - and it’ll also completely cover top surgery, whenever the time comes for me to pursue that

3. I’m buying a car tomorrow. found someone selling the same kind of car I drove in Texas, double checked the maintenance claims with the dealership that performed said maintenance, and somehow managed to haggle $700 off the already low asking price. I’ll have to get the plates changed to Oregon ones (it’s got a Washington registration right now) but I’m pretty pumped (hehe car puns)

4. I came out to my parents as trans and they said they accept my decision and want me to be happy. for context as to how shocking this turn of events is - I’ve been low contact with them for the last 6 years because of how shitty they were to me. I cannot stress enough how insane this is. I don’t think I want to rebuild any kind of relationship with them, but I am happy that this makes it easier to visit my sister in my hometown

5. both of my friend’s parents told me I should buy a lotto ticket with this absolutely fucking yonkers bonkers streak of good luck I’ve got going