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#BUT ALSO MOM COME PICK ME UP I'M SCARED 😨
nulltune · 10 months
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&&. @longerhuman moved from legacy !
it's curious to see such a thing on another,  only ever seeing it through the hazy reflections of herself,  but ah—  that look.  this look.  that emptiness is ...       ❛   is it because you have no reason to live.   ❜       tone does not even lift to indicate a question,  speaking bluntly.  if their similarities would only continue from there,  then,  it makes sense for him to want to die. and even if you want to live,  do you have the qualifications to do so ?   what does it mean to  “ live ”  in the first place ?   knowing nothing of that,  knowing nothing about what it is to truly be  “ human ”  ...  she supposed it would only make sense.  what other option was there than to just disappear ?
—though,  where her's was an unfeeling resignation,  at least he wants to die.  as morbid a desire as it was,  it was still a desire.  something.  she has nothing at all.       ❛   i don't care about your present.  i don't care about what you want.   ❜       and whatever he's seeking for—  entertainment or a response or whatever.  what did he hope to get when faced with something as lacking as himself ?   it doesn't matter.  if i'm heartless,  then so are you.  she doesn't see a point in stating the obvious;  and just like herself,  surely he understood himself enough to realize that by now. 
lifting up the gun once more,  actions remain undiscernible but hands work to instead disassemble the revolver. her lack of skill in working it does not show through the action,  steady and smooth movements remained as mechanic as ever.  just like a machine.  metallic clinks fill the silence as the bullets are removed,  one by one,  carelessly spilled onto the floor.  there's a pause at the last bullet,  held in dainty digits.  a swift flicker to the other,  as if to gauge his reaction.  would you be disappointed ?   upset ?   any of it would be better than her unfeeling self.  but regardless of his feelings,  instead of joining the others,  the lone bullet would find its place loaded back into the cylinder.  a faint clicking sound following as it is then spun.
taking a seat on the floor,  she doesn't gesture for him to follow suit,  nor does she bother explaining.  only peering upwards with vacant eyes.  when gaze is met,  the item is set in the space between the two.       ❛   we can get one turn each.  whoever shoots first,  where they aim,  it doesn't matter.   ❜       nothing about it really matters,  but—
❛   ... if you're still alive,  tell me something about yourself.  ❜  
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livwritessometimes · 2 months
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Opposite - Pierre Gasly
: Pierre Gasly x Singer!reader
: Pierre’s new relationship leaves Y/n questioning their time together
: Series Masterlist
: Main Masterlist
: Author's Note - finallyyyy got time to write this part!! Also let me know if you guys want a taglist for I'm Pretty When I Cry Series (I have a few people who want to be tagged in Pt 2 for loml and Enough For You)
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liked by pierregasly and 84,946 others
👤: pierregasly
Yourname: "Hey dan- I mean Bonjour" "Oh you mean, Au Revoir! Goodbye Humphrey, we're leaving" "where are you guys going?" "Paris"
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pierregasly: It absolutely did not take Y/n 30 minutes to find this particular episode from gossip girls, just so she could use it as her caption
-> Yourname: Uh as if! guys let me tell you Pierre was just as invested as I was, if not more while watching the episode
-> pierregasly: shhh don't expose me 🤐
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liked by Yourname and 102,721 others
👤: Yourname
pierregasly: Terrorizing the streets of New York with the biggest baddie who wears a bow!
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Yourname: say all you want about the bow, just know when we get caught and they take our mugshots, we know who's gonna look good and who's not 💅🏻
-> alpinef1team: Please don't get arrested, we can't have our driver behind the bars before the season starts 😅
-> pierregasly: ...🥲
User39: Y/n and Pierre try to write normal caption challenge failed 🙅🏻‍♀️
-> User44: I love them constantly bullying each other 🥰
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liked by pierregasly and 92,731 others
👤: pierregasly
Yourname: Rolling into the Dutch Grand Prix in style!
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pierregasly: 🩵
User77: OMGGGG P33333!!! Let's goooooo
User98: Best good luck charm Pierre could ask for 🍀
*liked by Yourname*
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👤: Yourname, alpinef1team
pierregasly: You get P3 and then all of a sudden you are tackled to the ground by some crazy fangirl 🙄 but jokes aside I could not have done this without your support, a huge shoutout to my amazing team and equally (if not more) amazing fans!!!
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alpinef1team: YESSSS! So Proud 💪🏻
alpinef1team: Best crazy fangirl to have around in the garage
-> Yourname: ...stop 🙈
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liked by pierregasly and 98,673 others
👤 : pierregasly
Yourname: Happy birthday to the weird guy from my flight who likes to sleep with his mouth open...He's quite the character!
view all 80,721 comments
pierregasly: I can feel the love radiating from this post 🤭
-> Yourname: Guys that weird guy from my flight is back and now in my comment section
-> pierregasly: Jokes on you I'm inside your house
-> Yourname: 😨
User41: You guys are so cuteeeee! never stop bullying each other 🫶🏻
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liked by Yourname and 95,731 others
👤: Yourname
pierregasly: Happy birthday to my crazy fangirl!! Here's to more years of bullying you 🥂
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Yourname: Aa Ha there we have it folks, he just admitted he bullies me! My lawyer will get in touch with you Mr. Gasly and just so you know I'm getting the custody of @/alpinef1team 's admin
-> alpinef1team: Mom pick me up I'm scared, Dad is binge watching Gossip Girls again!!
-> pierregasly: wow! my own team i against me
-> alpinef1team: 🤭
User09: I will never get married if they break up
-> User712: Girl- same 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼
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Y/n paused for a moment. The 10 minutes she had spent selecting every single photo she had with Pierre felt like eternity to her. So lost in her thought, she did not notice a drop tear roll down her face. It is funny how things can change so easily; how a lifetime worth of promises comes with an expiration date. "You will heal; I mean, look at how far you've come from where we were before," said Gracie, Y/n's best friend and probably the only person she had told about her breakup. For the rest of the world, Y/n and Pierre, 'the most playful couple', were still together, spending their vacation in some city filled with love and laughter.
It was Gracie who suggested that it's bout time she deleted their photos. I mean, it has been 2 months already; there is no point in holding on to something, someone who no longer wants to do anything with her.
She knew she would be fine. I mean, isn't that's how it's supposed to go? You hurt, you heal. It was simple, so why was it that hitting the delete button felt like the most difficult task in the world? Swallowing the lump in her throat, Y/n finally pressed the button, which in an instant erased the French man's existence from her life. Goodbyes are hard, especially when you did not see them coming. Y/n never dreamt of a future where she and Pierre wouldn't be together; sadly for her, that was the reality she now had to live in.
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francisca.cgomes added to their story!
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Sitting in front of her dresser, Y/n was busy getting ready for the night. She saw the news about Pierre seeing someone else flood her Twitter feed. It's okay; it's not like he owed her an explanation or the fact that they broke up 4 months ago. It's perfectly fine for people to go out and explore the dating pool again. Hell, even Y/n had been on a few dates, none that got past the second date. What bothered her was the fact that Pierre was seen with his new girl in Paris. She still distinctively remembers one warm afternoon in July, where both she and Pierre were cuddled up on the couch watching some random movie to kill time. It was then that he told her, "I'm so excited for next week," he had said as he pulled Y/n closer to him. "And why is that?" she had questioned with a hint of amusement in her voice. "Paris holds a very special place in my heart, and a long time ago I decided that I would only take the people closest to my heart there," he said. "And you are very special to me, ma chérie," he added. It was always like this: cheeky comments and flirtatious replies were what made their relationship theirs. 
So seeing him take Francisca Gomes to Paris felt like a direct hit. Here she was barely able to hold onto a new date, and there he was going to the city of love with his 'special person.'
Y/n had just finished applying a sheet mask and decided to watch some videos on YouTube while waiting for her timer to go off. Scrolling through the home page, her eyes landed on an interview with none other than Francisca or Kika, as everyone on the internet had called her. "Kika Gomes on Balancing Life as a Model, a Student, and the Girlfriend of Pierre Gasly" read the title. She knows she shouldn't; she knows that no positive outcome will come from this video, but ignoring all the warning signs, Y/n clicked on the video. Her room was filled with the voice of Kika and the interviewer. Sometime after the introduction and general questions, Y/n stopped paying attention to what was being said in the interview. That was until she heard the interviewer ask Kika about her and Pierre's relationship.
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On that reply, Y/n let out a dry chuckle. 'When you know, you just know' how basic. Of course she would think that; why would she mind them moving in 'too fast'? She's got nothing to lose. It was Y/n that had to suffer over them 'moving in too fast.' But no one paid attention to that, because she was not the one he was in love with, not anymore, at least.
Sometime later in the interview, the host asked Kika to play a game, answer a few questions, and take part in a challenge. After about 5-6 questions, the host announced the challenge: 'Get Pierre to text you back in 2 minutes; if she fails, she has to perform a dare.' With a scoff, Y/n said, "Good luck with that." She knows there is no way Pierre would reply within 2 minutes; he never did that during the entirety of their 2 years together, and there is no way he's gonna do it now. She saw Kika type a message to Pierre before hitting send and answering yet another question. It had barely been 30 seconds; the girl on the screen barely finished her sentence when the ding from her notification filled the studio. Y/n felt her heart drop; there was no way it was him; he had never been so quick before. Ya, Y/n was sure it was not him, but then what Kika said made her doubt a lot of things about her relationship with Pierre.
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That reply was quick; that's what bothered Y/n. No, scratch that; that was one of the things that bothered Y/n about this new relationship. The girl in front of her could not have been more different from Y/n. She was taller than her, younger than her, and a lot prettier than her. They could not have been more opposite of each other. It made Y/n question whether she was even Pierre's type all along. Was that the reason why he broke up with her? because she was not like the usual girls he would go for? because she did not fit his standard of beauty? Before Y/n could spiral down any further, her phone started ringing, startling her and cutting off her long chain of thought. Looking down, she saw that it was her manager who was calling her. She looked at the top of the screen to check the time: 11:24 p.m. It was odd for her manager to call her at this hour. Confused,  she answered the phone, "Hello?"
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👤 : gracieabrams, taylorswift
Yourname: Word on the street that two best friends are on their way to traumatize a whole lot of people at the ERAS TOUR!!!! YES you heard it right, my boy Mario and I are officially joining the wonderful, absolutely stunning Taylor Swift at the Eras Tour.
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gracieabrams: AHHHHHHHHH
-> gracieabrams: OH MY GODDDDDDDD
-> gracieabrams: I HAVEN'T STOPPED CRYING
-> gracieabrams: I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THIS
User66: @/taylorswift I think you broke Gracie
gracieabrams: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY MARIO?? Where did you get that photo from????
-> Yourname: I have my own ways 😌
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Yourname: Best believe I'm still bejeweled, when I walk in the room....Yk how that saying goes ✨
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Yourname: Also for everyone wondering where I got that cowboy hat from? I made it with TAYLOR SWIFT 🙌🏻
-> User83: Please tell me you have matching COWBOY HATS????
-> Yourname: You bet your ass we do 👏🏻
gracieabrams: Well ofc a diamond's gotta SHINEE~
-> Yourname: see Gracie gets it!!
taylorswift: Howdy partner <3
-> Yourname: I see you everyday yet when I saw the notification that you commented, I almost called my mom out of excitement!!!!
*liked by taylorswift*
-> taylorswift: 😂
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👤 : Yourname, taylorswift
gracieabrams: Oh nothing just a girls night in with my 2 besties 👯‍♀️
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Yourname: I'm just gonna go ahead and say it I'm the best bartender out there!
-> gracieabrams: I was gonna say something sarcastic but I don't think my 7th glass of Margarita would let me 🫢
User87: Alt caption: Taylor Swift getting traumatized for 15 minutes straight from witnessing Y/n and Gracie fighting with each other every second of the day
*liked by taylorswift*
After one too many drinks, Y/n, Gracie, and Taylor were all chilling at the rental Y/n and Gracie were sharing. The night was filled with drinks and laughter. With soft music playing in the background, Y/n looked around at Gracie and Taylor, both texting their boyfriends, giggling over their phones. A content look on their faces. Even though Y/n smiled at the sight, a bitter taste filled her mouth. Excusing herself, she went to the bathroom. After being together with someone for 2 years, it's easy to forget what it's like to be single again. It's been 6 months now since they broke up. Y/n knows she shouldn't miss him, because it was obvious that he clearly wasn't missing her. Looking in the mirror, she saw her blonde hair and blue eyes staring back at her. She wondered was it her eyes? Did he just want someone who had darker eyes all along? Y/n knew Kika's features so well, that one might think of her as an obsessive fan, and maybe she was. Definitely not a fan though. Maybe she was obsessed with Kika; what was it that she has that Y/n doesn't? Way beyond her senses, Y/n, in her drunken state, pulled out her phone and opened Instagram to post a story of herself.
Yourname added to their story!
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👤: pierregasly, francisca.cgomes
Formula1WagsUpdates: Pierre Gasly's partner, Kika Gomes, was spotted at the Miami Grand Prix. The couple were seen entering the paddock together. Some fans spotted the two being extremely affectionate, with Pierre's hand never leaving her back. Ever since the couple started dating, fans have noticed a change in Gasly's demeanor. Some say he has become more of a gentleman ever since Gomes entered his life. All we can say is that we love every moment we can get with the adorable couple.
view all 65,029 comments
User22: They are so cuteeeeee
User09: I'm not gonna lie Pierre has STEPPED UP as a boyfriend!!!
User87: I think it's kinda sad that they refer to Kika as Pierre Gasly's girlfriend and not just by her name. Honestly feel they would have never done that had it been Y/n here.
-> User60: I mean she is his girlfriend! how else should anyone introduce her????
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liked by gracieabrams and 99,722 others
Yourname: Red is the color of the season! and no it's not because of my recent obsession with strawberry jam 🍓
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gracieabrams: A lot of nonsense coming from someone who just finished their third bottle of jam this month
-> Yourname: Shhhhh don't say that out loud my trainer might hear you
taylorswift: The treats turned out to be soo goodddd!!
-> Yourname: I did have the best baking partner after all!!
User44: ummm is no one gonna talk about the last photo???
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pierregasly and francisca.cgomes: The best new beggenings anyone could wish for!! Meet our baby boy Simba 🦁
view all 230,873 comments
francisca.cgomes: My son 🩵
-> pierregasly: you mean our son???
-> francisca.cgomes: NO MINE
alexandrasaintmleux: Leo and Simba playdate when???
-> francisca.cgomes: Just say the time and place and we'll be there
User88: OMGGG THEY GOT A DOGGGG
-> User30: Ikrrrrrrr!!! he really is ready to settle down 🥰
What are you supposed to feel when your ex moves on with his life? How should one even react when they see him show more commitment to his current relationship than he did to yours? Y/n wondered, What was even the point of feeling like this? I mean, shouldn't she be happy? She has got everything she could have asked for: a job with her idol, performing night after night in front of people who love her and her music, and spending every second of her life with her best friend by her side. Y/n had everything, but somehow she still felt empty. 
He got a dog with her. Y/n still remembers the day when she suggested they get a pet together. "Come on, Pierre, look at this puppy; he's perfect!!!," Y/n had beamed while showing Pierre a photo of the dog she had seen at the shelter. "He is cute, but you know we can't get a pet," Pierre had said. "We're not even home most of the time, and the constant travelling won't help the dog," he had reasoned. Dejected, she sat back down on the couch, opting to delete the photo. What's the point of keeping it when she knows she will never be able to adopt the puppy?
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Yourname: Been thinkin' lots of thoughts 💭
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gracieabrams: hmmm how tho? because last I know i'm pretty sure it's empty up there, like spider webs and shit 😌
-> Yourname: I had ordered Taco Bell for us but looks like you won't be needed it anymore 🙃
-> gracieabrams: Y/N NOOO! I swear I was just kidding 😭
-> User09: Not a single day goes by without us getting Gracie and Y/n acting like kids 🤦🏻‍♀️
User33: Did she just...post lyrics?????????? and that angsty ones?????
-> User86: Shhhhhh!! It can't hurt you if you refuse to acknowledge it
It was finally done. Y/n had just finished her album. She's not gonna lie; this album was probably the most difficult one to record. Especially the last song she recorded. After pushing it back for months, she finally did it. She got in the recording room and poured her little heart out. What surprised Y/n were the tears that came while she recorded the song. It's not like she was in love with him, not anymore, at least. Y/n had finally accepted the fact that no matter how much she questioned the reason for Pierre leaving her and choosing Kika, she could not come up with an answer that would have given her some closure. She had gone through every possible scenario in her head; what could she have done differently to make him stay? But while doing all this thinking, Y/n realized that no matter what she did, he would have ended up with her. Maybe he was holding out, waiting to find someone opposite her, someone who fit his description of "perfect," a match "made in heaven." 
It was time she let go of this chapter, no matter how much it hurt her, it was time to say goodbye to all the possibilities of them.
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Yourname: I'm so excited to announce my brand new album, 'Emails I Can't Send'! This album contains exactly what the title says. There will be a lot of times in life where you find yourself in a situation where you want to say things or question things, but you can't because that's just how things have to be. This album contains all the things I wish I could have said. I hope you enjoy the little piece of my heart that I'm sharing with you! Keep it safe <3
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gracieabrams: I am so proud of you!!!! words can't describe how proud I feel right now 🫂
*liked by Yourname*
taylorswift: I have been to the studio...and let's just say you guys are in for a ride!! 🎢
*liked by Yourname*
User97: DID YOU GUYS PLAY OPPOSITE BECAUSE AHHHHHH
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Tags: @slutforpopculture | @emmynotawards | @be-your-coffee-pot | @bloodredlolipops | @papaya-twinks | @a-beaverhausen | @rayaharper
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